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No. 394660
Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread.
Refrain from posting if you dislike children or are childfree.Old threads
>>>/g/310088>>>/g/212315>>>/g/49996 No. 394715
Does anyone here have any experience with getting an early bloodtest to determine the foetus' sex?
I have one daughter now and would love to have more but the chances of having a son make me not want to risk it. So the earlier I would know in a pregnancy the more time I would have to make up my mind whether I would want to go through with it or abort. There's no way a OBGYN or midwife here would offer such a test though so I would have to find a commercial provider. Something like SneakPeek, although I don't think they ship to Europe
Sorry I'm rambling a bit, I'm stressing the fuck out because my period is becoming more irregular over the years and I feel like my time is running out
>>394703This is a good way to decribe it anon. Baby fever is not something you have, but rather a feeling of wanting
No. 394793
>>394715Since we are making wild suggestions, I suggest you have the father cum in a cup then spin the cup around like a centrifuge (gently if possible), take an oral syringe and collect the sperm at the bottom of the cup. X sperm cells are heavier and would ostensibly be at the bottom of the cup and thus you'd have a syringe full of X sperm cells.
But to be serious, please don't restrict nutrients deliberately for 2 months. I hate that idea for you and the fetus/baby.
No. 395010
File: 1714620038402.jpg (57.58 KB, 474x711, e2c4d683821127136b3bb19fa227a1…)
how do you manage? I feel like a hot mess and forget appointments and such (nothing too important ofc, I just feel bad) what is a "checklist" of everything you need to do as a parent
No. 395039
>>395010Nonna its alright just calm down. You don't need to be doing all of that and pressuring yourself either. Honestly at least I just focus on hanging out with and making sure the baby is fine. That's already more than enough work! Yes sometimes the dishes stay overnight in the sink and get washed during the next naptime, yes sometimes there's toys all around and at the end of the day you're too exhausted to do anything about that and there's absolutely no reason to feel less accomplished. The baby for sure won't mind. Honestly imo the mega organized clean girl aesthetic açai bowl green smoothie era of life is when you're not currently facing the biggest challenge life can give you, which is raising a little human. Nonna its okay just relax dont make yourself crazy.
The thing about appointments, I use telegram as a chat messenger and there you can make a channel for yourself + your husband and schedule messages. So I write every appointment in there and then schedule a message the day before/the morning of the day to repeat the appointment text again so I get a notification.
No. 395079
>>395037I am sure maaaany women have had children due to extreme horniness throughout history. Biological imperative.
I wanted children in my life - specifically, I wanted children that were older than 4 and not a baby or toddler. So I didn't think it through fully and having a baby is hard but not the hardest thing I've done.
I will say that pregnancy was the least sexy experience of my life and, because we planned our baby, copulative sex was no where near as much "fun" as the spontaneous sex I've had. Maybe if our baby had been unplanned I'd think differently about this entirely.
No. 395080
>>395010Is your husband or partner helping you with childcare? I get everything done by eating simple meals, and asking my husband to help with laundry and cleaning (he does) i only have one kid, but I don't keep a checklist. I do agree with this list's idea of not having a phone around at specific times - but I have a phone addiction and need that sort of rule.
As for appointments, I have a google calendar widget on my phone and I add the appointment to my calendar as soon as the appointment is made (at the doctor's office or whilst still on the phone). You can add attendees to the event too, if someone else needs to remember. I like the other nonna's idea about the telegram channel
No. 395241
>>395233Saying the baby could be "fussy" already a lowkey
abusive and deranged way to play this down. Like the baby is so dramatic?? that along with the basically trauma of being born and having to be adjusted to the world itself he also got part of his anatomy removed in an area with a A LOT of nerve endings and is in constant pain that doesn't get any relief until his tiny body can grow scar tissue over it.
No. 395502
>>395418To be fair, we also get all of our information and even majority of our education is exclusively online now. That being said, because of this internet moderators need to be more careful with fear mongering/false information as that's how most people get their research but you also can't necessarily blame new moms for asking questions and curiosity before making a decision. Truth is most of you are just as credible as women are mommy forums swearing babies need to be circumcised for their health, calling someone
abusive for asking questions about common birth decisions sounds pretty unhinged imo but you also can't necessarily treat women like they're villains for not immediately knowing the "right" choices over things that have such debated choices
No. 395695
File: 1714937923743.jpg (88.43 KB, 976x549, _113530377_bears_kt-miller.jpg)
Not a mom yet and won't be anytime soon but want to be. How do parents now cope with climate change and how quickly the earth is changing for the worse? Random but it's something I always think about. I would feel so guilty if I have kids and in a few decades the earth is barely habitable and they have to eat roaches cause those are the only thing that manged to survive. Or is it just knowing that there's always something terrible happening and that shouldn't necessarily stop you from having children because chances are everything will be ok?
No. 395760
>>395571>>395520>>395268>>395231There's also a pretty decent chance the circumcision hurts hetero women in the long run too.
Making genitals less sensitive sure sounds like a great way to push someone towards more extreme ways of getting their rocks off.
No. 395789
>>395502>calling someone abusive for asking questions about common birth decisions sounds pretty unhinged imoAnon read the comment chain more closesly. No one said she was
abusive for asking abiut circumcision. They called her retarded though and said the practice is
abusive. Reading comprehension is important but is a skill that can be learned
No. 395915
>>395792Probably things like this?
>>395755 In the last thread someone was wishing miscarriages on anons too. There are either some childfree retards hate reading these or moids
No. 396698
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It's been hard getting baby to sleep and husband wants to do CIO. I have had luck getting him to sleep quietly and within 30 min by cosleeping or laying next to him before he falls asleep and then transferring him to his bed (pretend cosleeping, if you will). We've been using the snoo but he is about to grow out of it. I want to delay or avoid CIO if possible and want to pursue cosleeping/pretend cosleeping.
What sort of crib should I get for my baby that will let me do this cosleeping/pretend cosleeping thing with him for as long as possible? I see cribs like pic related but I only want to get 1 crib until he ages out to a real bed. I'm willing to do just a matress on the floor or anything bootleg/not esthetic
My priorities are
>pretend cosleeping over actual cosleeping, or the ability to cosleep for naps but not at night
>not transferring baby to his bed (risks waking him)
>needs to be something not too inconvenient or else husband might not do it
>baby ideally sleeps in room separate from adults so one adult can have deep sleep while other feeds baby (low priority)
No. 396703
>>396698Cry it out is abuse. Like you're just causing adrenaline and cortisol spikes in the baby which is detrimental long term for their health, and disrupts ability to sleep even further until they become so exhausted that they give up knowing that no one is coming and dissociate until they basically pass out. Literally
abusive shit and just further proof that moid takes have NO business in anything related to childcare. Do not give in to this absolute garbage. How old is your baby also? I have been cosleeping and then changed to putting simply the baby mattress surrounded by pillows on the floor next to our bed. So when my daughter wakes at night, I lay with her to breastfeed and then slide away once she's asleep. No transfer and nothing and safe solo sleep.
No. 396710
>>396703Yeah I know CIO is shit
With a mattress on the floor, I'd have to prevent baby from rolling off? Other than hitting his head (say i have soft carpet or something) is there a risk from baby rolling off and sleeping on carpet? When does suffocation risk from mattress/carpet disappear (google seems to suggest either after 6 months or 12 months)?
>>396706Do you recommend against cosleeping because any reason other than suffocation? I favor pretend cosleeping (I'm next to him but get up after he falls asleep) for that reason.
We have been trying different stuff but I agree we should try to be more flexible about it. Bouncing him in a carrier works but it takes longer than me laying next to him and he cries sometimes with the carrier. I don't have a swing yet but I feel like the swing would end up being similar the snoo.
No. 396755
File: 1715358802704.jpg (86.23 KB, 679x679, 81IeJrSDUjL._AC_SX679_1200x120…)
Protip for new moms: the kids preferred Mickey Mouse high contrast collection has some of the highest quality newborn toys I have been able to find. I am disappointed I didn't find out about it until my kid was past the colorblind stage and hope this post will save other women this grief.
Pic related can be used as high contrast cards when the baby is small and a tissue box emptying game when she is older. They also have high contrast books that can be used as stuffed animals once the baby is bigger and a really nice tummy time mirror/car mirror with high contrast dangling toys.
No. 396757
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>>395741Have you tried interactive books like this one? What if you make wacky faces and sounds while reading? My baby thinks normal books are lame but books that make mommy act like a clown are fun.
No. 397254
File: 1715530081136.jpg (133.07 KB, 1080x1620, il_1080xN.4991841961_t2wj.jpg)
Am I the only one who feels like she should alter her wardrobe for her baby? I saw a fugly rainbow dress at the store the other day and I kind of regret not getting it because my baby likes rainbows. I'm thinking I should probably start looking for cute running shoes too so I can follow her efficiently when she starts being mobile.
No. 397256
Protip: if your baby is over six months old, you can share your mother's day cake with them. If they can't handle the cake part of the cake yet you can just let them lick frosting. It's really cute to watch.
>>396923Yeah you should probably tell the midwife every time just to be safe. Sometimes they are so busy they forget to ask.
>>396918I knew I wanted kids since I was a kid myself, but it was more about not wanting to miss out on an experience and not wanting to be alone at 80 years old than about liking kids. I hated kids, actually. But now that I'm a mother I love mine very much.
>>397075For me it made PPD better because it allowed me to get more sleep. My baby often only sleeps in one hour chunks unless she is on a human.
No. 397497
>>396891I get what you mean about potential to make ppd worse - it's a delicate thing and all women have different histories/biology that make their risk and symptom intensity different so some women are sensitive to things others aren't.
We're about to move but I'll definitely look into swings to buy after if baby is small enough for them still.
No. 397499
>>397281That is so cute.
>>397377Sorry nonna that would suck. you should talk to him about it - expect the possibility that he'll get defensive and feel criticized but if it's important to you it's worth it. You don't want this feeling to get dragged out through the years
No. 397659
>>397547>"I guess I am just the worst" usual moid deflection and inability to apologize and accept responsibility. I think he really just doesn't care.Not suprised at all.
I got my husband to snap out of this pattern of behavior by calling him out whenever he'd use logical fallacies (had to look them up first/memorize the names, what the signs are, why they're shit) and then shame him for it.
My husband sees himself as ~smart~ so I knew that making it clear that
>I'm trying to solve a problem I'm having and instead of collaborating to find the solution /help me find some objective truth that we can both agree on, he is derailing the conversation and keeping us stagnant >I see him as weak-minded when this happenswould motivate him. Idk if your husband would respond the same way but it's worked for me (this one thing he still disappoints me in other ways). I could see it making things worse if your husband has some other issues
No. 397673
>>397377Can you tell someone else to talk to him about it? Sometimes shame works better. If you tell him you’re sad about it he could think of it as a you problem, but if someone else tells him he’s a failure for not doing it he might understand it’s a him problem.
Unless you wanna just tell him directly he’s supposed to do that, that’s fine too.
No. 397835
File: 1715683007633.jpg (33.8 KB, 500x334, 1000000237.jpg)
Americans will have meltdowns about how you need to be rear facing until your kid is 4-6 on the dot and if the buckle is even slightly below their nipple line they'll literally die… Just to throw their kids on a seatbeltless school bus that throws around little kids kek
No. 398100
Postpartum rage is kicking my ass right now. I love my baby, I really do, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I see red, and I have to step away to cool down. I had a breakdown today because she just kept spitting up on every onesie I put her in, until there were literally none left. I couldn’t even cry, because my crying makes her cry, so I have to do it silently. I wish people talked about these parts of motherhood too. It sucks, I’m tired, I’m sleep deprived. I am never gonna hurt my baby, but I no longer look at those infanticide cases from a mother with postpartum mental illness with disgust anymore. If I didn’t have support, I could be a monster too. It’s so bad. I’m afraid that one day, I’ll be alone and I’ll do something stupid in this rage. I wish I could be the patient mother she deserves.
No. 398119
>>398100Deep breath anon, you’re doing a wonderful job. It won’t always be like this, this is an incredibly big adjustment and it’s beyond understandable to feel angry etc. Especially when sleep deprived.
Be patient with yourself, you’re doing great
No. 398168
>>398148Interview heavily about how they are with scheduling anon. My first midwife put me on an awful feeding schedule that damn near drove me insane and turned out to not even be necessary (wanted me to pump after every single feed despite baby being EBF, almost called CPS claiming my milk supply would be dropping and I'd be starving my child despite the fact I had an oversupply). Not the first time I've heard of midwives pushing "pump after every feed from day one".
Also pain management - make sure you get pain management and midwives aren't going to fight against opioids if you need it, make sure they realize the importance of proper post partum care and sleep, etc. all of this can make or break your experience
No. 398214
>>398100Every time I get annoyed with my baby it has been because I have set expectations that aren't realistic. Working on accepting substandard-to-you conditions might help you and it isn't forever. Baby can wear spit-upy outfits, for instance, or maybe a drool bib would help buffer some of the mess?
Also saying outloud "oh you're having a hard time right now, aren't you" over and over when my baby is fussy helps remind me that my baby is having a hard time and needs my help, and is not giving me a hard time.
If you need to walk away from baby and let her cry or sit in spit up for 5 minutes, it is better than getting mad.
I am sure you know but it's really important that you dig deep and try to find a solution that doesn't involve you getting mad or harming baby. Do anything and everything to not let the annoyance turn to anger and spiral. Wear earplugs, listen to goofy music, let her stay dirty and call her stinky butt until you calm down, whatever it takes to diffuse the tension.
No. 398510
>>398489This 100% sounds like me before I started taking methylcobalamin (b12) and iron. It isn't normal to be exhausted like that. Have you ever gotten a blood draw to check for deficiencies?
The acceptable ranges for ferritin are misleading. "Normal" for women is 13 to 150 ng/mL but anything less than 30 ng/mL is considered iron deficiency without anemia.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8002799/The lack of sleep is exhausting but I am not overhwlemed because my husband helps me. The most important decision you will make in your life is selecting the man to have kids with. Pick someone who will help you with chores and the baby and who is mentally/emotional mature. Your experience will be alot better and you won't be crazy tired.
No. 398766
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I'm having crazy baby fever right now. I keep seeing the cutest baby videos on the internet and even the thought of the tiny little clothes makes me want to cry from cuteness. Even something as stupid as baby toys or socks of all things make me emotional from how cute they are.
No. 399012
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Today I found out you can play vidyagaems to strengthen your pelvic floor after having a baby. I'm kind of disappointed nobody is doing let's plays or twitch streams.
No. 399648
>>399645>>399645Whatever lactation consultants are reading - don't. Ive heard of so many lactation consultants ruining women's breastfeeding journeys or doing more harm than good.
Also might want to choose something not American based as Americans have so much misinformation when it comes to breastfeeding
No. 400133
>>400026It's an extremely common acronym. If you can't work out that a woman openly calling herself a "FTM" in the fucking
baby thread on a tranny hating website isn't a troon, then that's on you, not her.
No. 400239
>>400217Both my wife and I work from home and we have twins. It is hard work and it's a huge adjustment, but IMO it is doable. For us the key is routine, it takes time of course, but once you manage to get the kids on even just a loose routine you'll find yourself being able to slot in work sessions and work around each other. I can't speak for the mum brain as my wife carried the kids, but she has mentioned it holding her back a bit, as well as the exhaustion. I actually wanted to retire her, if I'm being completely honest. But her work is important to her, she finds it rewarding so I understand wanting to keep that part of her identity. I think it's been good for her to keep going, she's part-time now but doing incredible. She's mentally very resilient whereas I'm a worrier, so it took me a while to get into a flow state with my work as a new mum; there's always those nagging thoughts in the back of your head "are the kids ok? is my partner ok? have I done this? have I done that?" but I'm getting there slowly. Luckily I have a wonderful stepmum who's a very hands-on grandmother so she's around quite a bit which helps ease the workload. I will say I am making less with my business now, not by a huge margin and I'm still turning a profit, but I think it's only natural for your work to dip when living this life. It's all about managing expectations and preparing, IMO. I worked my tits off while we were conceiving and my wife was pregnant so I had that cushion to fall back on. I also grew up poor, so I understand your worries. Anyway idk if this was helpful, but your husband sounds dependable and you have in-laws nearby which is a huge bonus. If your heart is telling you to follow this path, then do it. I wouldn't change this for the world. I love having my kids close by and not missing out on any important moments. When I'm struggling with my work I often go and play with them and they always give me the strength to push on and work for their future. Whatever you choose I wish you all the best, nona.
No. 400385
>>400217I hope this upcoming journey goes well for you.
>but every forum, every reddit post basically says that's impossible and insane I have seen those posts. It truly depends on your personal situation and yeah I do suspect in a lot of cases it's related to having an unhelpful partner. In-laws can be a source of pain and stress in your life or they can be a wonderful support. Pregnancy, having a baby/recovery, the stress from taking care of a baby (it is so much responsibility and lifestyle change) It can be a fragile or sensitive time for either the mom or the dad, but of course everyone has their own level of resiliency and stamina.
If your in-laws are people who would be able to watch the baby without creating additional stress on you/your husband, then that is a solid plan. However, it's common that in-laws will overstep boundaries, become judgemental and critical, or just become too obtrusive and controlling once the baby arrives. Sometimes the change is unexpected, or the dynamic change is caused by a shift in the parents and not the in-laws. Whatever the reason, there is a saying "free childcare is not free."
Some of my coworkers have hired part time nannies that are in the home while the parent is also home working. I can't imagine it's much more expensive than daycare.
Whatever you end up deciding to do, you can always change your mind if it isn't working for you. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You are not locked into any decision forever.
>Are you able to get any work done even with mom brain?Yes, I found the return to work easy - I am definitely dumber than I was before but it feels like I am 10% dumber and it didn't impact work. Working during pregnancy was harder and nearly impossible some days, with respect to brain fog and sleepiness, but everyone I asked about it said they didn't observe any differences in my behavior.
>Would this be too exhausting to be sustainable? If your husband pulls his weight and you both get enough sleep I wouldn't be worried.
No. 401210
>>401164I didn’t wear jeans for a couple years because of this reason. Body is still adjusting, even more so if you’re still breastfeeding.
Or consider buying a really nice pair of jeggings. And I mean really nice. Cheap ones are the worst. They make nice ones now but they’re pretty pricey.
No. 402253
>>400871Anon you replied to and wellyou just birth controlled me. But if I do try in a few years, I will be doing the citrus method and I will be using the method where you do it like 4-5 days before you ovulate since ALLEGEDLY male sperms are much less likely to make it through. Sorry if this sounds insensitive lol I wish you the best possible boy baby luck. My cousins are all male and they turned out pretty good as far as I know. Like they seem respectful and not subhuman and aren’t ugly which are all wins for males
>>402126How did it go?
No. 403321
File: 1717483151616.png (6.75 KB, 343x386, 1000006319.png)
Getting induced tomorrow and I literally can't stop mentally spiraling over the amount of pain I'll be in or how my life is about to change forever. I'm both terrified and excited, how do people deal with this
No. 403332
>>403256>la leche league>cryptofashI hate crunchy moms and boob nazis too, but as they say, you should never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. The crunchy gymnastics likely happen because the women involved have zero accomplishments beyond infant-rearing rather than because of some ideology.
>>403321Hope everything goes well!
No. 403385
>>403321You aren't alone in these feelings if that makes you feel better.
All the best and i wish you well.
No. 403407
File: 1717514782913.png (679.86 KB, 632x848, IMG_20240604_081423.png)
>>403332>stupidityHuh? There's a lot of data backing up the ideas that breast milk and frequent physical closeness are good for little babies. There is also data backing up the fact that kids raised in single parent household tend to do less well than their peers. Not that it should stop anyone from divorcing if their partner is
abusive… no doubt being exposed to things like violence would hurt a kid more than having one parent.
>>403367It always makes me sad that religious people are the only ones who seem to care about babies nowadays. Sometimes it feels like everyone else is like pic related.
>>403321Epidurals and painkillers make labor a lot more bearable. I suggest getting lots of sleep in advance and planning meals you can just pop in the microwave, you'll be tired and hungry once it's over but the amount of rest you'll be able to get depends on your support system.
No. 403740
>>395081I think some of it is commercialization. individuals running business as 'experts", influencers, or organization's create ideals or standards to sell people either a book or consultancy service. Individuals then take that information and perpetuate those ideas.
Coupled with that, people throughout history have a tendancy to become fanatical about ideas. It isn't just related to parenting - you can see this in other spheres. The internet also makes it so much easier for everyone to exchange ideas so this phenomenon is at the intensity we have now
No. 404065
File: 1717704900572.png (29.59 KB, 512x512, 2565063.png)
>chronic constipation because of pelvic floor issues combined with the fact that due to breastfeeding, my boobs steal every extra ounce of moisture I ingest
>baby fell asleep in her gym
>take the opportunity to heed nature's call
>it's one of those massive hard poops that come out in little chunks at an average rate of one chunk per five minutes
>baby wakes up, is angry
>get up mid poop with one chunk dangling halfway out of my butt to go soothe the baby
>after soothing, go clean myself and proceed to hold in the rest of my poop until her next nap
you really don't know what true love is until you have had a baby
No. 404526
File: 1717828858159.jpg (52.65 KB, 772x960, 5465434684.jpg)
I'm 27 right now and single, and have basically come to the conclusion that I will be totally fine without kids, but would be willing to have 1 or 2 if I met the right person. However, I don't have strong maternal instincts, like at all. I have never experienced baby fever, and when I have dreams about having kids I usually wake up relieved that they aren't real. I don't hate kids, though. I think they're funny and interesting, and don't mind being around them. I am pretty awkward around them, I try to interact with them or wave at them and just feel like I'm being weird. I have a strong work ethic and consider myself emotionally resilient though, so sometimes I think I could handle motherhood. My own mother was a paranoid borderline schizo shut-in who was verbally and physically abusive though so maybe I just think I'd be a good mother because I had a bad example?
No. 404781
>>404526This all sounds pretty common or normal.
The #1 most important thing is selecting the right partner. It'll impact everything. Be ruthless when dating, pregnancy is so vulnerable and is a physical and mental sacrifice. future you deserves a supportive, loving husband. Your future kids deserve a good father.
Be aware that pregnancy and motherhood can stir up painful memories about your mom and your childhood. You might want to have a therapist for pregnancy or be able to work through it yourself.
Other than that your other worries (lack of maternal instinct, current state of singleness) are nbd imo.
No. 405652
>>405647This. Stay away from the online mom groups holy shit. I joined a couple and ended up leaving after I couldn’t handle it anymore. Lolcow has nothing on local mom groups kek.
You put a small stuffed animal in the corner of your baby’s crib? Well you’re now attempting to murder your baby, good going.
No. 405799
>>405773yeah, there's been a lot of research, "SIDS" is an umbrella term often used when writing an autopsy, can be anything from suffocation (which is rare cases) to unknown illnesses, defects, etc. There's been deeper research finding certain bacterias often causes SIDS and so on.
>I see scrotes tinfoiling that babies who die from SIDS are all murdered by their moms and that women are evil baby killers.I've definitely seen this too. Also strange they accuse the mom of killing the baby and not dad or other household members. It's like moids purposely look for women in traumatizing situations to kick them down and traumatize them even further, they probably don't even believe half the stuff they say but get off on the idea of a traumatized and scared mother hating herself even more
No. 406907
>>405799There was an Australian Mother (Kathleen Megan Folbigg) who was convicted of murdering her 4 infants in the early 00's. It turned out that they all had the same genetic health defect that caused them pass away. She spent 20 years in jail for that.
SIDS is probably mostly out of your control. Obviously you should make sure your baby doesn't accidentally suffocate itself but people take it too far.
>>405264Sounds like they diagnosed you with being anxious to me.
If the baby is moving I would think it's fine.
>>404065You should take daily stool softeners and drink way way more water.
>>405461Well said nonna
No. 407244
File: 1718759465285.jpg (1.69 MB, 2001x2667, what-the-afro-m-837012.jpg)
Is there a way to get sperm from famous people or their descendants? I want to make a test tube baby with the sperm of a famous black historical figure but select its traits so it's as pale as possible so it can have white privilege but still be a proud black woman.(racebaiting weirdo)
No. 407427
>>404065Lmao this is so relatable I'm so sorry and I hope you can have normal poops soon (reminder that breastfeeding means you need like almost 1 liter water MORE than normal) It's almost like babies can literally sense if you leave by your fucking energy field or whatever even when you make absolutely 0 sound. You can lay 2 hours still next to baby and nothing and when you basically just
think about getting up: boom, wide open eyes.
No. 407466
>>407008i don’t have kids (yet), but i was 14 when my youngest sibling was born and my advice is about the same as the other nonnas. don’t parentify her, of course, but do try to gauge her interest and follow her lead on how much she wants to help care for with the baby. personally, i kind of wish i got to help with my baby siblings more, but it was rarely offered to me. i’d also encourage trying to have something specific and routine that’s just between the two of you and that the baby won’t “get in the way” of, i.e. a weekly movie night, ice cream dates, etc. that goes a long way to show that you’re still putting in a conscious effort to spend 1-on-1 time with her, and might help negate any feelings of being replaced (because even if she’s excited about the baby, she may still feel insecure/jealous at one point or another; i definitely did from time to time).
No. 408008
File: 1718997922685.jpg (35.69 KB, 500x336, 1583366876030.jpg)
I hate how normal symptoms of pregnancy can also be symptoms of life-threatening or otherwise dangerous conditions (e.g. swelling)
My health anxiety has been rearing its ugly head in the middle of the 2nd trimester. Does anyone have coping mechanisms that helped them manage hypochondria during pregnancy?
No. 408137
File: 1719033428551.gif (15.84 KB, 220x210, IMG_5378.gif)
Post-Partum hormones making me cry over everything. My baby isn’t even a month old and I’m crying at the idea that one day, she won’t do her newborn scrunch anymore…
No. 408342
>>394660I found out i'm pregnant last week and i'm kind of panicking a bit. We wanted a baby in a year or two but not now. At the same time i'm kind of excited.
Anyways, i've been getting so nauseus and tired all the time, I was wondering if any nonnas who had kids before had tips for getting over it? I was pretty active before and I want to continue working out because I read it will do me and the baby a lot of good.
No. 408344
>>408342Keep your blood sugar stable. It’s low blood sugar that causes morning sickness. Eat complex carbohydrates and plenty of protein and fat.
And congratulations!
No. 408366
>>408137Your so cute
nonnie ♥
Comfort yourself by imagining all the new expressions she will learn to do.
>>408342Congratulations!
No. 408652
>>408342>Anyways, i've been getting so nauseus and tired all the time, I was wondering if any nonnas who had kids before had tips for getting over it? I don't have advice for nausea, but for tiredness, you'll have to wait until the 1st trimester is over for it to go away. You may have to accept that your movement will be more limited and do what you can with the energy you have, then maybe pick up again once your energy levels do. Definitely don't stress yourself out over it and push yourself too hard; just remember that countless women have been kneecapped by pregnancy symptoms and gave birth to perfectly healthy babies.
In the meantime, enjoy getting the best sleep of your life!
>>408615>Do these people even actually believe anything they push? Many women have killed or permanently disabled their children in pursuit of the uwu crunchy life, so there are either some true believers or people willing to sacrifice their children under social pressure.
No. 408654
>>408488I'm more worried about those parents and kids and media sinking their teeth into my child before they develop critical thinking skills or being groomed without me knowing, like those teachers on tiktok who talk about not telling the students parents and even getting the kids on medication without parents knowing.
My husbands sister is tif and idk what to tell the kids once they realize something is wrong with her.
No. 409131
>>408344>>408366>>408652Thanks for all the kind replies nonnas X I've been trying to eat more carbs in smaller quantities and the doctor gave me some pills to suck on that are supposed to ease the sickness.
I got folic acid too, does it give anyone else weird dreams? The first time I took it I had a nightmare about my cat and semi hallucinated a hand coming out of the ceiling to grab me.
No. 409229
File: 1719361020175.jpg (13.18 KB, 258x225, 1522436152580.jpg)
nonnies I have baby fever so bad but feel like I should wait longer… how did you know when you were ready to have a baby? my main concern is financial, nigel and I both work and live comfortably but obviously having a child is such a huge expense (financially and in time too, genuinely don't know how my mom raised me as a full-time working single mother. I couldn't do it) I can't help but worry. But of course the parents/in-laws are pestering for grandchildren and saying we're getting too old kek so maybe we should just do it already
No. 409232
>>409229I think if you are in a good relationship with someone with a similar mindset with parenting, stable jobs and a roof over your head, then you should be good. Kids are expensive. Unless you are waiting to randomly become super wealthy, you need to ask yourself if you can support a child right now.
Also, ask your Nigel questions about schooling (preschool, grade school, homeschool), vaccines, breastfeeding/ formula, etc etc. I thought me and my ex were on the same page when it came to parenting and it turned out we were total opposite. I had to fight tooth and nail over dumb shit that I never thought I would have to fight for.
No. 409666
>>409651Did you ask what they're pointing at? Sorry that your house is hainted
nonnie.
No. 410176
File: 1719610626857.jpeg (415.43 KB, 1242x765, IMG_5526.jpeg)
I FUCKING HATE HAVING MY BUMP TOUCHED WITHOUT PERMISSION!!!! JUST BECAUSE I AM PREGNANT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT STRANGERS AT THE GROCERY STORE PRODDING ME AND ASKING IF MY BABY IS KICKING!!!!!
No. 410806
I thought this only happened to idiots, now I'm the idiot. I'm 6 months pp and pregnant. Got my period back at 3 months pp, had two of them and my third was late. 99% sure I ovulated around CD 12, started getting period cramps at about CD 30 but no period so I tested at CD36 - it was negative. Waited another 10 days to test again when I started getting nauseous and its fucking positive. I don't know how it happened, we were careful around ovulation and had risky sex when I started getting my "period" cramps and thought menstruation was imminent, which could have been implantation cramps I guess. I don't know if I just ovulated really late, around the time I usually get my period, or if we somehow conceived around my usual ovulation and the test didn't pick it up yet. Realistically I could be around 4 weeks or 6 weeks. Last time I got a positive before even missing my period. It took us a couple of months of actively trying to get pregnanct for our first, I know you're fertile after birth but this is ridiculous. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm already taking a year of absence from my postgraduate studies for my firstborn, what the fuck am I going to do now? I doubt my supervisor or bursary funders are going to be very understanding. I'm doing a science degree so I literally can't be in the lab while pregnant. My firstborn is a really difficult baby, we have no family near us, my husband is in a panic. I'm so scared my milk will dry up, I really wanted to BF him until 2 years. I had zero energy during my pregnancy and my labour was so difficult, I don't know how to do this again. But I can't get rid of a baby (no matter how early it may be), its just not in me. I know I'll love them so much, but fucking hell there's only going to be like a 15 month gap. I wanted my firstborn to be the baby for a while, to enjoy him without these worries. And its all so embarassing, this feels almost like a teenage pregnancy? We're educated, around our 30s, understand how to avoid pregnancy, so how did we fuck up so badly?
No. 410941
>>410920I say go ahead, Kids aren't as expensive as people say unless you're actually throwing out loads of money left and right for little things like lulu lemon, every sport known to man, etc
>Then on top of that single mothers are hated so much right now, they're always blamed for causing crime and creating incels and basically every issue in society.People who have hate boners for single moms aren't exactly very intelligent, they just see a mom and kid without a father in the moment and assume she's a single mom, and because they assumed she was a single mom it's clearly because she was getting gang banged by thugs daily and no other reason! kek I see married women get mistaken for single moms all the time and moids throw tantrums over it just cause she dare leave her house without her husband as if this was saudi arabia or something
No. 411047
I hate the mommy and me group I’m in. When I mention that I only have a daughter, these boymoms just pity me, they think my life is miserable without a son. But I think I was meant to be a girl mom. I love my daughter so much, I don’t think I could ever love a boy baby as much as I love her. Which is good, because she’s the last baby I plan on having.
>>410920I’m actually a single mother through sperm donation. Not really by choice, my fiancé and I broke up about 6 months into the pregnancy, and she decided to bail on everything. I can’t speak on it as a whole, but it really only seems like boys from single moms turn out like that. Girls from single moms are a lot more adjusted, at least from what I’ve seen
No. 411371
File: 1720031325383.jpg (179.55 KB, 1006x1196, 5220cbb1-828a-4cbf-bd91-1f3f3b…)
We need to tar and feather the corpse of whichever shit for brains started the idea that women should wear dresses. And the one who came up with the idea that parenting is women's work, that is also bullshit. Both parents need to be involved!
I stocked up on cute dresses during pregnancy because my fetus would get upset when I wore jeans but now that my fetus is nearing toddlehood I realize that the optimal mommy outfit is a baggy oversized shirt, leggings and sneakers. All the e-tradwives with perfect hair and floofy dresses are larpers with no kids.
No. 411379
File: 1720033379879.jpg (49.33 KB, 640x636, c9d.jpg)
4chan trad memes get funnier after you give birth. They're so disconnected from reality.
- How does she have the time to make meals and be active while taking care of a newborn?
-How does she have the time to homeschool her kids on top of all the other chores while caring for a newborn?
-How does she still look like an Instagram model after birthing and parenting several kids? Her genes must be top tier, it's very common to gain weight during pregnancy and there's no time to do your hair when you need to go take care of a baby.
-the incels making these memes think women with no makeup are ugly
And then there's the insane racism. It's good that whoever made this will never have sex because they would have a panic attack if they became a parent.
No. 411463
>>411379kek
as usual, men are clueless about how much work raising children is, especially boys.
my sister is regretting her choice to go tradwife and finally enrolled my nephew into preschool. she only has ONE child and she's always stressed out. she rarely cooks food, it's either ubereats or a microwave meal because if she loses track of my nephew for 30 seconds, the little shit will somersault into the tv or do something equally stupid and destructive.
my sister complains about losing her figure all the time. before having her son, she was a size 0 and has since gone up to 4. far from obese, but it really impacted her self-esteem. part of the reason why she finally enrolled him in school is so she can go back to the gym again.
No. 412755
File: 1720414536182.jpg (233.89 KB, 576x864, Elon_Musk.jpg)
Why are there no sperm banks with confirmed high achiever sperm? There's plenty of successful men out there like pic related who want to spread their genes without having to raise their kids. This seems like a big hole in the market.
No. 413538
>>412011If you can't tolerate (?) even any man in the world, please do not have a child. If you can't be with an adult who loves you, how you're going to be able to do the self sacrifices needed to be with a small child and then bigger child etc. You're not just buying a baby you're dedicating at least two decades of your life to raise a full human being. These selfish posts of "I'll just buy a baby as accessory to my life" are just plain awful. You're no different from those gay scrotes that exploit some poor women w surrogacy.
Not to mention the fact that a child needs both a mother and a father in order to thrive.
No. 413895
File: 1720760504200.jpg (76.17 KB, 700x700, eb9b9b009940ec1bb99c5f62800ca2…)
Since it seems to be the topic of discussion right now, I do honestly think that two parent households are super important for children but I disagree that it has to be a man. It's probably just me projecting because I only had one active parent who was abusive towards me, but I think it's important to have two parents. Especially so they have one to lean on if the other becomes unreliable. Not to mention it's beneficial, mentally and emotionally, for the actual parents (IF your partner is good) because dividing the childrearing takes a lot of pressure off, opposed to being a single parent. It's not about having a male figure though, it can be a male or female as long as they're a good partner and parent.
Another thought, I see a lot of discussions on social media these days of people emphasizing the importance of a having a village to help you raise your child. I honestly can see things like co-parenting with friends becoming more popular in the near future for those who are single mothers or don't want a romantic relationship.
No. 416070
File: 1721326282857.jpg (94.69 KB, 867x1200, 1000000060.jpg)
>>409651My toddler is going through a "ghost" stage and will beg for ghosts, randomly say things like 'green ghost". Recently we made play dough ghosts so now Everytime she wants to play with play dough she just goes "more ghosts, more ghosts". Without context I'd move ASAP
(AI outside of containment thread) No. 416972
File: 1721515709216.webp (36 KB, 420x579, common-core-math.webp)
>>416753I personally sent my children to private school because of law regulations completely fucking up public schools. Most of the main issues with public schools don't apply for private
Common core being a huge issue
irrational amounts of homework for young children
"zero tolerance" policies which is why zoomers have become so off on telling whos wrong and right
"write ups" and discipline over things that don't matter but not disciplining kids over things they absolutely should
No. 416989
>>416753Eh, I think it's safer than some public schools. In some areas public schools are so short on teachers they have to rely on long term substitutes (aka randos with no training) or they just let the children hang out in the gymnasium doing nothing for some time. At this point I think certain public schools should just be relabeled babysitting centers.
>>416972At least discipline happens in your area. Over here I heard the shitty schools just let the kids do whatever they want with no repercussions and they get passed to the next grade even if they skip school constantly and do no homework.
No. 418075
File: 1721833411377.jpg (18.61 KB, 640x480, 1576771927088.jpg)
I thought I'd have a couple more weeks until my 2nd trimester energy disappeared…nonnies, I'm slipping away…
No. 418270
File: 1721871261127.png (450.41 KB, 629x725, mango-18PACK_1200x.png)
Help, I can't stop eating all my baby's food
No. 418292
>>418249This but the "high achiever" genes you're looking for are in legitimate "rags to riches" men. This would also be ideal since poor people are less likely to have health issues, so they inherit the intelligence of getting rich and the good health that poor people need to survive with lack of affordable healthcare.
The thing is - you're not gonna find these sorts of men being billionaires or in New York penthouses, most of these are mid successful tier like business owners, doctors, CEOs, etc
No. 418320
File: 1721876628559.png (464.48 KB, 900x900, IMG_6582.png)
>>418270I understand you nonna. Whenever I give a few of these to my daughter, I end up taking one or two for myself. I can’t help that they made them so tasty
No. 418459
>>418292Being a "high achiever" is too abstract, nona. What genes could potentially be described as "high achievement" linked? Off the top of my head - probably something having to do with interpersonal competition, social defeat stress resistance, maybe machiavellianism? Task persistence? Really depends on the field and the type of society you're trying to achieve in. Apart from that, the same genes can conceivably result in delinquency if one of the million conditioning-related variables goes wrong, plus most genes are pleiotropic. So if I were to paint a very rudimentary picture: let's say - instead of a super driven high earning surgeon/lawyer you end up with a psychopathic druggie that cuts up stray cats for fun.
That doesn't mean it's wrong to shoot for those genes regardless. But measures like beauty and physical health are absolute, self evident and not dependent on social context, so imo sacrificing them for uncertain "high achievement" is unwise.
No. 418563
>>418459Most high achiever moids (that aren't handed positions by connections/already rich) are typically engaging, able to handle high stress, intelligent, good memory, attentive, etc.
Of course the moid who treats going to his call centre job like hes going to war won't make a suitable partner, moids who are out all weekend aren't good
No. 418882
34 weeks pregnant.
Baby hasnt done the usual movements in over a week. I could lay down and he would kick my side, my husband would sleep with his hand on my stomach and feel him kicking as we fell asleep.
He would bulge my belly on the side (anterior placenta), I could see him kicking if I stared at my belly.
Went to the ER on Monday about it, heart rate was fine, gave me a referral for a growth scan the following Monday. Told me to come back if the movements dont improve/decrease again.
Tuesday the movements improved, not back to where they were but he was kicking every now and then. Not 10 in 2 hours like they say to count, but enough I was thinking maybe it was just a bad few days.
Wednesday I had my 34 week midwife visit. Heart rate was fine, measuring fine, baby was decreasing a bit but still moving enough not to have had me worried.
Thursday there was hardly anything, a few pressing movements but no kicking.
Friday (today) woke up, drank something sugary to see if that would help, he didnt move at all over the next few hours, went to the ER again at 3pm.
Heart rate was fine. Told me to come in in the morning to be checked again by their clinic so thats what I'm going to do. Dr said they would send me the referral document, they havent. I guess I'll just show up?
Hes currently moving now but again its just pressing movements not kicks like they keep telling me he should be doing. I think hes kicked once since coming back from the hospital nearly 10 hours ago.
My coworker birthed a braindead baby because bub had an oxygen issue in the womb. She went to the ER multiple times and was sent home saying bub was fine. It was preventable and the baby only lived a handful of days.
Trying not to stress out, I know it should be fine.
Its just so hard when everything online and drs tell me he should be moving X amount and hes just not.
No. 419485
>>419301Congratz nonna! Enjoy your chubby little one and I wish you a speedy recovery!
>>418964I was hooked up and monitored in the er and again yesterday, I have a growth scan tomorrow to check how bubs going. They tell me everything is fine. They did an ultrasound, he is breathing, heart is beating, cord is good.
Yesterday he has been moving more as well as today.
>>419358See thats what I thought too but each midwife visit theyve hammered into me that any change is worth coming in for, that its an old wives tale that they decrease in movements, that it should stay consistent. Hes been wriggling around alot yesterday and today but no actual kicking like he was a week ago.
They basically said to me yesterday without saying it that what I'm feeling is normal and not worth coming in for, but legally they cant directly say that so they danced around the topic.
My husband asked directly "We keep being told if he doesnt move for hours to come in, is that what we are meant to do still?" and was met with alot of "uhh well uhhh yes I suppose".
I just hope going forward he keeps this amount of movement so I dont have to deal with it again.
He would wake me up with his movements too and affect me actually sleeping because when I would lay down he would go to down kicking around, now he doesnt.
No. 420051
>>420006>She won’t eat the grilled cheese unless it’s a very specific brand of cheese and breadKek I laugh because both my kids also did this. Totally normal and just something you have to ride out. You can always give her a multivitamin if you’re worried about nutrition. They make a liquid kind you can just pour into a spoon or medicine cup/plunger. But in the long run it’s really not going to affect much.
Foods with too much taste or texture can be a lot on toddler brains. Also foods that look too “busy” can be a turn off. Plain noodles? Yes. Noodles with sauce? Too colorful. White bread is very bland. Wheat bread has a bit of a tang. Try to introduce more plain boring foods.
No. 421236
>>420695NPs don't receive adequate training for the level of independence they're given, sometimes with awful or deadly results. The subreddit /r/noctor catalogues it.
For US nonnies who are pregnant or want to eventually be pregnant, I'd recommend trying to find a practice that still allows you to see a doctor. Same for family medicine/GPs too.
>>421058Can you get a second opinion? Either way, I hope things get better for you quickly.
No. 421917
>>420727You'll have crack addicts who give their babies Gatorade in a bottle telling you you're doing a shit job at parenting. You'll have malicious old women telling you that you need to spank your kid with a belt, and then tell you to be forgiving and gentle if you raise your voice at the kid. Nothing is ever enough for them, their fun comes from making other women feel like shit.
But why do you care about other parents' opinions? What does your kid want? Other parents might spend a down payment for a house on their baby's 1st birthday party, but maybe your own baby wants to eat wrapping paper and smear frosting all over the table and herself instead. Maybe other parents practice DBT and guided meditation with their toddlers when they have tantrums in public, but you might have more success if you promise an ice cream if he behaves. Social media is performative and at the end of the day mommy vloggers are doing this to make money. Ragebait brings in big bucks, whether it's spending a small fortune to celebrate every minor holiday, being a simpering bitch for the camera, buying the most expensive shit possible 'on a budget' when it's obvious that nobody on a budget will spend that much on a pram, or being a deliberately shitty parent to encourage comments. Nothing you see online is genuine. You're never going to live up to manufactured standards.
You're doing fine. Those other kids online are much happier than your kid because they're being ordered by their momager to look excited.
No. 422346
File: 1723047861913.jpg (42.97 KB, 400x400, 51a3d1b95484c5a3f733c60a31151d…)
Is it weird that I really envy Hannah Neeleman? I mean, not exactly because her husband seems like a weird control freak. I just wish I was married to some cowboy hat wearing congressman from Kentucky and we would have a hundred gorillion bazillion kids.
No. 422349
>>421944Noises like screaming? Noise cancelling headphones. Breastfeeding? You could pump or use formula.
I find that most of the "yucky" things about babies stop feeling so yucky once you really understand why they happen. Like, after you've watched a newborn struggle to learn how to fart it's hard not to feel proud of them when they successfully poo with no hassle. Same thing with noises.. every new noise is something you're proud of them for because it's a new skill.
No. 422376
>>422349They make great discreet ear plugs these days. I had to buy a pair when my 2 yr old was sleeping in my bed while he was sick and grinding his teeth. The sound made me want to die.
I think they were called loops
No. 422440
>>422434Milk sitting on the teeth at night will rot the teeth, regardless if it’s breastmilk or cow or formula. If you’re worried about the shifting teeth thing, their teeth go back to normal. Never used a bottle for my kids but my son used a pacifier and had the weird arched teeth. They were fine after a few months.
If you’re worried about rot, give her water in the bottle at bed time. Do what works for you. Sometimes letting them pick out their new cup, or whatever, helps.
No. 423286
>>423263Are you going to ruin your life because a stupid fucking moid had an idea? And such a wonderful idea that involves him pursuing his education while you go fuck yourself alone with a newborn?
Just don't be stupid and go get an abortion. Don't tell him if you don't want to. He's a selfish retard apparently, so his opinion doesn't matter. At least one of you needs to think about YOU, and it clearly isn't going to be him.
No. 423376
>>423206I found out at the beginning of week 5, but I could sense that I was pregnant much sooner due to a metallic taste in my mouth, sore boobs, and falling asleep easily at night (I have terrible insomnia)
>>423263Luckily the chance that you'll end up pregnant from this is quite low. You'd be in for a rough time if you kept it under these circumstances, though.
No. 423494
>>423466>killing your offspring>struggle with fertility after abortionthis reeks of moid
>>423263don't listen to the poster above nonna. you alone should be able to make that choice for yourself. imo though, having a kid should be well planned (both financially and the proper timing) and from the sound of it your situation isn't exactly ideal for having a child. also unless you are 100% fine with being a single mom, you really shouldn't be having a kid with any moid. your moid sound irresponsible and you should assume that if you do end up choosing to have his child you and you alone will be responsible for all of it. i also vote to not do it.
No. 423791
>>423466Abortion does not cause infertility. What an awful thing to tell someone. If she’s pregnant after a condom break and a plan b, chances are she isn’t struggling with fertility issues at it is.
>>423263Please listen to what most anons are telling you. You literally have more than a decade to plan for a baby. Don’t jump into something you KNOW you’re not ready for with a moid who clearly doesn’t give a shit.
No. 424340
>>423863This is a great point, a lot of people keep forgetting how God awful previous generations were as parents
>But but teachers are quitting!!Kids have always acted like little shits, if anything they were worse back in the day we just didn't have the Internet to share every single detail. Millennial teachers are just pussies
>But but tablet babies!!Yeah like we're gonna forget the fact we were all TV and Gameboy kids
I'd even argue kids use to act more hellish back in the day. So many behaviors that should've got kids institutionalized got swept under the rug, we're just finally acknowledging said bad behaviors so it seems worse . I even remember in daycare boys use to casually throw rocks and kill animals, make rape and death threats, and torture other children and no one cared. We're finally calling out the behaviors and people think it's bad
No. 424463
>>424457>millennial parents aren't pussiesthose go hand and hand anon, most millennial teachers are crappy parents themselves
>involved millennials are not common (at least where I live). Most people I know just stick the kid in front of an iPad.and the previous generations use to kick their kids outside. hell housewives back in the 50s use to brag about drugging babies or leaving the stroller outside to get shit done. Neglectful parents are nothing new, just different flavors
>You have teachers begging that kids going into the 3rd grade know how to spell their name.boomers and millenials are straight up bragging about how they didn't even know how to read in 3rd grade kek. I've seen parents in therapy groups whine about how their therapist or whatever has their kid doing like 4 speech or reading therapy sessions a week cause they couldnt pronounce a word right. Kids absolutely use to spell their own names wrong previously, we're just in a time where it's actually acknowledged and concerned rather than just wooping their ass and throwing them in a closet
>admit that some millennials are lazy parents.I did, my point wasn't that millenials weren't lazy or crappy, just that this is probably the first time in history where a lot of behaviors are being acknowledged than ignored, you ended up proving my point
No. 424465
>>424457If they weren't obedient "pussies" they would get sued or beaten for not treating their sons like the kings they are. It's a fact that less and less consequences are allowed, that kids and parents become more and more violent and that students perform worse and worse, but no, it must be people imagining things. It's not zoomer and millenial teachers complaining the most either, it's older ones who had to witness the rapid change every single year.
It's sad to see that even farmers can turn out this delusional and hostile once they become moms. Nobody says they have to lock up and beat their kids but by extremely coddling them or buying them everything that has a screen and already defending them against future made up enemies when they're just babies, they're definitely not doing them any favor. Despite thinking they're ready to be parents so many still haven't worked on their issues and are stuck in a neverending teen phase (everybody else is wrong/parents wrong, my child is the best, everybody is so mean to me (and my baby), school fucking sucks, 5 hours of screentime is normal, and so on…)
No. 424477
>>424476>schools contacting cps is only done in the most extreme casesmy city literally had to instill laws because schools and hospitals were reaping kids by the dozens over every little health problem, injury etc. They had to pass it because they took away the mayors son cause they had a seatbelt bruise from a car accident. I'm glad it's not a thing you've had to encounter but its very real. there's never ending discussions about how CPS seems to only get involved with good families but ignore bad ones, I'm actually shocked you didn't know this?
>Except it's unhinged parents doing that to teachers, they other way around is not happening.we're all people, there's bad and good people on both sides. I will say I've definitely seen my fair share of teachers push unrealistic expectations onto students and parents however
No. 424830
>>424414The male autism thing really worried me because I've had such horrible experiences with spectrumy men. There is some overlap between autism and being trans so hopefully controlling for one sorts the other bit out.
Make sure your husband and you take vitamins and coq10 for 4 months prior to conceiving and don't smoke. take all the vitamins recommended by ACOG and you'll improve your odds of not having an autist. Try your absolute best to not get sick during pregnancy but if you do, make sure you're taking at least the minimum amount of choline recommended by ACOG or whatever medical body is in your country. There is a genetic component for all mental illnesses but environmental factors can amplify or potentiate symptom severity.
I'm not in the camp that believes vaccines cause autism but I have seen enough evidence suboptimal nutrition (and prenatals don't have adequate vitamin D omega 3 and choline) and fevers can cause different kinds of harm on fetal neurodevelopment. The magnitude of that harm is probably not terribly significant but it's good to feel like you have some sort of control.
No. 425037
File: 1723842294040.jpg (215.95 KB, 1050x1548, 1000000142.jpg)
>>424457Maternal morality rates have gone up since the 80s? What changed? We have new healthcare advancements than ever before
No. 425109
>>425037Help/support, longer hospital time and they utilized the importance of REST, doctors are stingier with medications now, better finances and job security so women can take off as much time as they need, way way less harsh standards were pushed on mothers so women aren't out there killing themselves to prove something.
Now in 2024, you're blown off throughout your entire pregnancy, encouraged to not get pain relief, told to not make noises during birth, and given a Tylenol and flavorless hospital food and told to fuck off, go home but also keep it clean and cook and never sleep after having one of the most traumatic events in your life. Oh and don't you dare ask for help either and don't complain because you chose this afterall. How did we somehow evolve backwards in women's care?
No. 425115
>>424414I worry about this a lot, but I specifically worry about what my current pregancy will do to me, and honestly, I’m more torn up about it than I should be. Like most lolcow users, I’m mentally ill, and I’ve had some pretty explosive meltdowns over completely pointless shit that I didn’t care about an hour later. I never planned to live this long, I always thought I’d kms before I turned 21, but I’m 23 now. Im pregnant from a one night stand, and I know I need to abort this child, not for my own comfort, but to save them a life of misery. Sorry for the slight blog and medfagging, but I’m a therapist in a women’s prison, and a lot are in there for child abuse. I can’t get one woman out of my head, who I was even surprised was there. She was the nicest, kindest, and most prepared woman when she was pregnant. She did everything right, she had support, therapy, medication, but she still got postpartum psychosis, and nearly murdered the baby who she tried to have for 13 years just because her treatment wasn’t enough. If something like that can happen to a woman who had everything she needed to be a mother, I think carrying this child to term is a death sentence. I’m already psychotic, on a ton of meds, and one day without them turns me into an
abusive bitch. I know my own child wouldn’t be safe with me, but there’s some pesky hormones that already have me attached to this clump of cells the size of a peanut….i just don’t want to hurt someone I love so much in a fit of inevitable psychosis
No. 425903
>>425664it's split by races, only Americans do this garbage.
If anything this graph shows how awful their for-profit medical system is. In the normal first world I doubt that's the case. One example being that they push a shitton of things onto their customers aka patients, such as inducing for no reason, unnecessary C-sections and then also don't allow the mother to eat or even drink during labour? My active labour was "only" 8 hours and the nurses told me beforehand and encouraged me during it to have snacks and drinks and not go to the war with an empty tank lol
No. 425944
>>425903In this boat right now. Dr basically ignored me my entire pregnancy despite developing heart issues
and contracting an STD after being SA'd refused to set up visits in case I go overdue, now that I'm overdue they're a pain to contact so I just started showing up to the hospital, when I called she claimed "she didn't find it necessary to induce but wanted to do a non stress test and amniotic fluid check", then when I show up she wants me to drop everything and induce right there, I told her no ? I can induce tomorrow night though and ofc got judged to hell and back like you have got to be kidding me. And Ik they'll somehow magically not know or find any other way other than pitocin and fentanyl epidural for induction and pain management and any other methods is "not proven and super dangerous"
No. 426519
>>426513Because Misogyny. Motherhood has to be painful and sacrificing or else ‘you aren’t doing it right’ Eve ate the apple. Or the fact that the Medical field routinely downplays woman’s pain in general.
Pick an excuse, it can always be traced back to Misogyny.
No. 427611
>>424414I was super worried about the autism thing, especially if I had a boy because there's plenty of autistic males in my family.
I slogged raw duck egg blended with OJ every morning for the choline, along with NAC and Omega-3; so far my toddler has turned out great. He's hyper-social (which is good because he's forcing me to be sociable too), great with eye contact, has lots to say about everything (still babbling) and I'm keeping my hopes up for him.
If you choose to have a baby, you're taking that risk.
No. 427652
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>>427611I read somewhere that young children who are read to and talked to from infancy onwards have a much larger vocabulary than their peers. Also, to make sure he grows up to be cultured and not retarded and zoomer-tier, raise him on old movies.
No. 427695
>>427620You sound just like me, I spent a huge amount of my paycheck on supplements and high-quality food (much better quality than normal). It's a good thing that you care as well :)
>>427652If the TV is on, it's only when I'm busy or doing chores. I've never used 'babytalk' and have always spoken to my little one like a normal person. I've got videos of him making noises in a conversation like manners with eye contact from about 4 months. I don't think I've ever stopped talking to him during the day haha
(emoji) No. 428299
>>428272Not really. I have one of each and it really just comes down to personality. What works for one kid, won’t work for the other. Doesn’t have anything to do with their gender. I’m general, boys do tend to be more physical and girls more emotional. But that isn’t always the case of course. My daughter is more physical, into gymnastics and BJJ. My son is more into art and building things.
They’re both very affectionate/sweet and both can be nightmares.
No. 432721
>>431916I took citircal calcium (it's the only calcium i know of that doesnt have lead in it because it's synthetic) in 3rd trimester because i didnt want to eat dairy. I think it helps prevent this sort of thing.
>>432302My cesarean scar is healing fine but i don't have much adominal fat. How far out from delivery are you? I could lose weight until my period returned
I kept my incision covered with silicone tape for 5 months and it healed really well. It looks like normal skin but it's a different color and it is not like any other scars i have. That might also contribute to the lack of apron i dont know
No. 433467
>>431916Prolactin (the lactation hormone) literally melts bones. Relaxin melts connective tissue. There is no known way to fully remineralize bones or repair ECM. Pregnancy also irreversibly reduces grey matter volume.
It's fucking horrifying how little women know about it.
No. 433473
>>433274Please consider that if you do bring your child, most of your time will be spent on you daughter: feeding her, entertaining her, keeping her from being a tripping hazard because toddlers tend to wander. Even the most well-behaved kid will require effort to keep them from getting fussy in these kinds of chaotic situations with many new people and experiences. Unless there are multiple other people willing to keep an eye out, you are not going to be able to pay much attention to the wedding itself. You have to ask yourself what is more important to you, having your daughter present, or witnissing your best friend's wedding.
I'm not trying to shit on you for wanting to bring your daughter. If the experience wouldn't be the same without her, by all means bring her. Especially because the bride is totally onboard. Personally I would just be too stressed out from making sure my kid is happy and not bothering any of the other guests. And at 2 years old when she won't even remember the whole thing, so I'd rather go by myself and ensure I have something fun to look back on.
No. 433492
>>433467>Pregnancy also irreversibly reduces grey matter volume.I was so pissed off when I found this out.
I also lost a tooth with each pregnancy. One I was able to crown, the other had to be yoinked out. Thankfully it was a molar because I have a gap now as I can’t afford an implant.
No. 433562
>>431916You can go blind, you can rip from vagina all the way through to your asshole and clitoris preventing you from ever having an orgasm again and shitting into your own vagina, you can get paralysed
Loosing teeth is a minor thing compared to the horrors one can experience
No. 434014
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>>433467>>433492I'm not sure which study you might be referencing but I found one based on a pregnant neuroscientist who scanned her own brain. Picrel, this article was posted this month so fairly recent.
>On average, there was a 4% decrease in gray-matter volume within the affected brain areas>"That's similar to the amount of reduction in puberty," Jacobs noted at a news conference Thursday (Sept. 12). Hormone surges in puberty come with a dip in gray-matter volume, as the brain prunes excess tissue so it can run more efficiently.>"Sometimes people bristle when they hear that gray-matter volume decreases during pregnancy — like, 'That can't be a good thing,'" she said. However, "this change probably reflects the fine-tuning of neural circuits, not unlike the cortical thinning that happens during puberty.">That fine-tuning may forever change the brain. "Many of these changes seem to be what you might think of as permanent etchings in the brain," Jacobs said.>However, other changes seen in the study were temporary. During the first and second trimesters, white matter, the insulated wiring between neurons, grew more robust.>Other conditions, such as migraines and multiple sclerosis, often improve during pregnancy, and it's unclear why. I don't think the grey matter volume reduction is as bad as it sounds, and women are smarter than men anyway. Kek
leaving aside my personal feelings about neuroscience.https://www.livescience.com/health/neuroscience/striking-brain-scans-reveal-how-one-mom-s-brain-changed-during-pregnancy No. 436452
>>436394Hopefully you're already controlling her internet/tv usage and have blocked anything to do with makeup. Kids want these things because they see other people with them. Girls want makeup because they see their mom do it. So try not to wear or do your makeup in front of her.
I don't know if you can get her to stop wanting it, but you can get here to want other things instead. Lead by example and show her other cool things she can like, show that you and your partner are interested in them. If you show an interest in something, she'll likely want to copy you.
No. 438483
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>>438453Were you using any pain relief with the balloon? I have an induction scheduled for a few days, so there's a good chance I'll have to use it.
No. 439242
>>438445do not do a midwives brew or castor oil you will have a miserable time lmao.
Curb walking if you have the energy, otherwise just rest on your side and try to relax your muscles.
Epsom salt baths if u can
>>438592Could have been implantation bleeding or a blood clot but they really can't do much about it so it's a wait and see kind of thing. I'm sorry :(
>>436394Hey I would try to focus on the artistic aspect of it.
There are some different Melissa and Doug activity kits and coloring pages that focus on fashion and makeup.
I have a friend that got her daughter a little tiny mannequin and small squares of cloth so she can "design" clothes.
I have a super girly 4yo too and I've painted her nails with a clear glitter polish and she has plastic dress up heels with her princess dresses but NEVER heels to wear out in public. I def try to make it like "this is a fun dress up thing we do at home" and not "you have to do this to go out and look beautiful"
No. 439998
>>438445All I can tell you is not to put in too much energy doing the Miles circuit. I did it over and over at the instructions of my midwives and it didn’t work (a membrane sweep did the trick) but I entered my 3 labor having just spent 7.5 hours doing the miles circuit, including using a breast pump for a half hour straight each time I got to the stairs portion of the circuit.
Membrane sweep was great; I recommend it your alternative is induction.
No. 440961
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>>440960The part that's being removed is really unfortunate, at the moment they have a balancing act of trying to get him big enough for a better outcome at the cost of him being on the medication that can cause damage.
One he is on can cause blindness. I stopped looking them up after I saw that. Knowing what I thought was a healthy baby is going to be permanently disabled is just such a horrific feeling, not being able to plan for how bad it will be because we won't know until we know is torture
No. 440976
>>440955I know it's all so hard to go through but don't lose hope. I have a brain defect that means half of my brain is partically too big for my skull and because of that not able to work properly. I'm a last year med student and I function just fine besides some sight issues on one eye.
Your kid will be okay, she will grow up and hopefully have a life close to normal just like I did.
No. 440978
>>440955Nona I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I feel for you and your little one. As other anons pointed out, a child's brain is marvelous at adapting and overcoming adversities; there is hope that your baby will be able to live a fulfilled and happy life. It's hard being a new mum, having longed for your child, bonded with your baby, planned it's future and now it all seems to come crashing down. Thr uncertainty is very hard to deal with, especially for new mothers, so please consider talking to someone else you trust close to you and someone professional, like a therapist with knowledge of post-partum mothers. Postpartum depression can be
triggered by a myriad of things and it's way more common than you'd believe, ontop of this you're experiencing a very though time. Take care of yourself too, nonna, for your own sake and for your baby.
No. 441708
>>440011nta I use to think like this too. I've never been treated as badly as I was than I became a mother. You can basically go to war for your children and people will think you're bad, hell there's women who walked into school shootings before to rescue their kids and got called stupid. Anything you do is dissected and used against you. I literally just got off of a group where people were circlejerking about how moms should've "shut the fuck up and closed their legs" because they needed help with a door when using a stroller. Women have been told they should've let their baby die when they give them CPR. If you end up single, even for things like your partner dying the world will literally rip you a new one and you're regarded as a second class citizen.
Remember when you could ask your neighbor for help? nope you'll be screeched at about "shutting your legs", and depending on where you're getting care from people will threaten to call CPS on you for breathing wrong. and if thats not bad enough the entire care you'll recieve during pregnancy, birth and postpartum is terrible. you can just straight up die and the doctor will tell you you're being dramatic
the only other "benefits" you claimed were free money and healthcare… which is just.. where? not in america thats for sure
No. 441732
>>441499congrats, glad everything went well!
>>435493check facebook groups for free toys
No. 443061
>>443059I had days where I would sleep for 14-16 hours straight in my first trimester. My sleep schedule was so fucked but I was dead to the world. Granted I was in a position where I could do that. My second pregnancy was different since I had a toddler, but it wasn’t unusual for me to fall asleep while putting my daughter down for a nap. Sometimes we would both nap for 4+ hours or so. I did have an occasional cup of coffee with second because I was nodding off at times.
If you can sleep, sleep. If you need coffee, the occasional cup won’t be as bad as nodding off while you’re driving.
No. 443159
>>443117You could always meet in the middle and restrict to <100mg, which you can easily reach in a controlled way with a bag of black tea or a tsp of matcha. That's what I did, and my baby is at or ahead of his developmental milestones so far. I know some older women who did the same and their children are very high-achieving.
If you're neurotic then I'd also recommend doing as much research on optimal pregnancy diet up-front – not because you'll fuck up your kid if you don't have the right macros or whatever, but because you'll otherwise end up stumbling upon some random factoid about e.g. choline or protein intake halfway through and agonize over whether you ruined your baby. t. knower
No. 443282
>>443281If possible, have dad try and get him to fall asleep with rocking, bouncing, etc. Sometimes they just need to learn a new bedtime
trigger. You can still nurse him before bed if you want but make sure he doesn’t fall asleep. Then after a day or two of that, drop the nursing all together. You can give him a sippy cup of water if you’re worried about him being thirsty or if you think he might need something in his mouth. Getting him off you is the most important goal.
No. 443390
>>443315No one is looking at you that hard unless you have visible scalp from bald patches on your head. Wear a baseball hat or a beanie and match your outfit to it.
You can also get hair root powder to make your hairline look denser. Or wear a low pony and get a weave
No. 444039
>>444011I don't have a doctor, and I'm not even covered by healthcare because I just moved provinces. I'll have to see about a walk-in clinic I guess. Thanks for the response
nonny, take care.
>>444015Don't speak to me, subhuman
No. 444145
>>444143She clubs.
Rereading my posts makes it sound like English is my second language. It's not, I'm just braindead now
(learn 2 delete) No. 444209
>>444137If your husband isn't working 12 hr shifts he needs to help you and watch the baby longer. It's inexcusable. You can each get 6-7 hours which is shitty but you are a team and if one is getting 8 hours and one is getting 3, one of you is going to completely unravel (which you currently are).
Have you tried pumping and bottle feeding? It's a sin to suggest but formula is an option for overnight.
If you're having suicidal ideation because of your situation, and your situation is extremely shitty, you need to change course a little
No. 444269
>>443350You can try sex a few days before ovulation, apparently X type sperm stay alive in the fallopian tubes longer than Y and increase the likelihood of having a girl. That being said, I also couldn't imagine having a boy, but the cards I was dealt were 2 of them lol. I can't imagine it any other way. Hopefully one day I'll get my girl, but my boy is so smart, loving and funny. I'm sure my unborn son will be too. Once you're holding them you won't be able to believe you ever wanted anything else.
>>444015>>444054You're disgusting.
No. 444934
>>444777Why do you feel horrible it is your husbands fault you are having a son. you are the
victim here
No. 446056
>>444137Honestly, co-sleep. It's probably safer than trying to stay up for 21 hours every day. There's lots of cultures where co-sleeping is the norm, the odds that baby would get hurt are low.
>>444010get choline supplements and make sure to eat tons of eggs and fish.
No. 446587
>>446571My NP midwife recommended ginger and b6 together.
Some women say electrolytes like magnesium can help. You could get unflavored electrolyte powder and add it to whatever liquid you can get down. I developed aversions to anything i ate while nauseous so i was constantly changing up my diet during the first trimester
Sorry youre going through it right now. It's rough
No. 447628
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I had a chemical last cycle and don't even know if I ovulated this time. The temps make it look like I did, idk.
No. 448315
I know I'm just being emotional but I'm so tired of being pregnant, and I'm only 10 weeks. I've been sick since day one of week five, and I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of being hungry but being unable to eat, since as soon as I have three bites of anything I feel nauseous, and if I force myself to eat so I'm not starving, I just throw up. I go to bed most nights hungry because my nausea is the worst at night, nothing helps, and I can't eat. I can't sleep either, despite being exhausted. I get winded so easily. I get maybe two-four small tasks done a day then I'm just tired and lay down. I feel so useless. It doesn't help that I feel no connection to what is inside of me, despite wanting it. I've seen it on the ultrasound, heard its heartbeat…but nothing. I feel nothing. Like this isn't even happening to me. I know I'll eventually feel better but I feel very hopeless as it stands and I feel guilty that I don't even feel a connection yet. I'm also so sick of everyone asking me how I feel all the time - I feel like shit, every day, almost every hour of the day, and everyone seems so surprised, like I'm the only woman they know that has felt this bad and it makes me wonder if I'm just being a baby. Idk I'm just tired of it all.
No. 449012
>>448315The first trimester is the worst for most women, it's just not something that's talked about. It does get better (for most women)! I know >reddit but joining the '[birth month][birth year]bumps' group for your due date may make you feel better; they have daily threads where women discuss their experiences and vent about what they're going through.
>>448999Congrats! Fingers crossed that it all works out well for you.
No. 449090
>>444137Old post I'm a first time mom who recently started cosleeping - it saved my sanity. Google sleep safe 7 , strip off your bedsheets, put your mattress on the ground if baby can move and curl up in a "C" shape around baby. If you really can't cosleep for whatever reason reach out in your neighborhood I'm sure there is a nice retired lady of stay at home mom that would be down to help you for a few hours so you can rest - I would.
It gets better anon, wishing you peace and safety.
No. 449974
>>444905nta but a lot of mentally stable people become mentally ill after trauma of having children. how society treats mothers can truly change everything. The internet doesn't make it any better as they expect mothers to endure literal torture to prove themselves.
>Inb4 it's just the Internet Didn't COVID teach us that how people act on the Internet can slowly leak into irl if it's not stopped?
No. 449980
>>448320>>449012Thank you nonnas for your kind words. I was very overwhelmed when I posted but since then, I ended up okaying with my obgyn to take a half a tab of unisom at night so I can sleep. It ended up not only helping me sleep (in conjunction with a pregnancy pillow, holy shit what a game changer) but it did help my nausea too, I didn't think it would only taking it at night. I still get nauseous every now and then but I feel like I can actually function during the day and get a few things done.
I've thought about joining some sort of group of moms having kids the same month/year as me but I also don't want to be around paranoid "do this or your baby will die" sort of shit that seems to be in every mom circle. I am going to try to remain steadfast that things will get better now that I'm able to sleep. Can't be nauseous if you're unconscious!
No. 450825
>>450685Had my first at 28 and second at 31. Any earlier and it would have been a disaster. Once you’re in your late 20s early 30s, you should have a well established career, possibly own a house and have gone through some shit that made you mature and grow. You’re also more emotionally mature which you absolutely need before teaching another human how to regulate their emotions.
I know a lot of women in my area who have had kids well into their 30s. I think it’s smart. Immature adults should not be expected to have children.
No. 451947
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>>451934>>451936The father is an jerk who didn't tell me he has a wife/kids then dumped me when it was too late to abort. Now I'm REALLY worried, even though he lives on the other side of the country. I think if I wasn't so hormonal I'd just be cautious and a little skittish but I'm going full blown paranoid cause of a "fun pregnancy fact"
No. 453614
>>451933>I mentioned this to my OB and she said these types of intrusive thoughts are normal for late stage pregnancy and even a bit after birth. I can't imagine how paranoid I'll be when baby is actually born.I had these sorts of thoughts too. It winds down by 6 to 8 months PP if you don't breastfeed. Hang in there.
I'd be wary about getting baby gear off FB marketplace too tbh. If you need used items for cheap, there are children's consignment shops and big swap meet sales, depending on the city you live in if youre in the US. Or just send your brother to pick stuff up for you if you do use FB marketplace
No. 458671
Trying to conceive, this is the 6th cycle. I know it can take up to a year, but this is so demoralizing. 75% of women get pregnant within 6 months, which we’ve just passed. I don’t even know why I try anymore. It just makes me upset. There’s nothing wrong with me, I ovulate, I have regular cycles. 6 months of tracking BBT, LH, cervical mucus, fertile days. Symptom spotting every time, getting a negative test, having my period, getting disappointed all over again. I’m so tired of it. I don’t even want to have sex anymore. How do I just get over never having a baby? I want to just never think about it ever again, never get my hopes up.
No. 458732
>>458671Just give up, make really big life changing plans, and then you’ll get pregnant. Kek
Jokes aside, stressing too much about getting pregnant can make it harder to actually conceive.
It helps if the man has a good diet, stays away from smoking/vaping and alcohol. Also make sure he doesn’t jerk it too much (or at all) days before you try. And like the other anon said, get him tested. You might be fine but it’s possible he is lacking. Don’t take all the blame nona.
Good luck!
No. 459449
>>459432Do people seriously buy Christmas presents for literal newborns??
You gave birth a month ago, giving out presents should be the last of your concern, let alone getting one for your newborn. If your in laws are so butthurt about it, they can buy her a bunch of gifts themselves.
Try not to stress over opinions coming from people who clearly don't understand priorities, your love and care is the best give she can have at this point of her life.
A surprise month of Hellmas is now in effect. For the rest of the month of December, VPN posting will be banned.