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File: 1714457300265.jpg (81.83 KB, 510x341, 1714419033427.jpg)

No. 394660

Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread.
Refrain from posting if you dislike children or are childfree.
Old threads

No. 394673

Is baby fever real? I would probably never have kids because I don't think I'm the right person to have them (so much generational trauma and issues of my own) but I wonder if any nonna here has felt baby fever before and what did you exactly feel (I cry)

No. 394703

It’s an ache, a longing, and a deep sadness. A bitterness, perhaps, even.

No. 394715

Does anyone here have any experience with getting an early bloodtest to determine the foetus' sex?
I have one daughter now and would love to have more but the chances of having a son make me not want to risk it. So the earlier I would know in a pregnancy the more time I would have to make up my mind whether I would want to go through with it or abort. There's no way a OBGYN or midwife here would offer such a test though so I would have to find a commercial provider. Something like SneakPeek, although I don't think they ship to Europe
Sorry I'm rambling a bit, I'm stressing the fuck out because my period is becoming more irregular over the years and I feel like my time is running out

This is a good way to decribe it anon. Baby fever is not something you have, but rather a feeling of wanting

No. 394731

I've gotten 2 and both were accurate. Not sure what European laws are but both were done along with genetic testing in the first trimester. Personally I wouldn't get it done unless you know it's being sent to a quality lab

No. 394743

Do IVF in a country that's not cucked to guarantee a female baby.

No. 394755

just keep getting pregnant than abort potential male fetuses, IVF preys on women and the hormonal cycles can mess you up

No. 394775

But how can you allow your body to abort that much? Isn't that dangerous?

No. 394781

I keep having these depressing dreams that I’m pregnant, raising my baby daughter, I watch her grow up, only to wake up and realize she never existed. I end up in tears clutching my pillow because I want nothing more than that baby to be real. Is something wrong with me?

No. 394782

Im not even trying to be rude, but "just keep getting abortions" is pretty terrible advice. Abortions are not always an easy procedure to get. They can be physically taxing, not to mention the emotional toll it can take on a woman. Unironically this is probably more viable/less harmful advice >>>/ot/846472

No. 394783

>Not illegal. You have to eat a vegan low calories diet trying to conceive because male babies are weak as shit and get aborted if they don't have enough food. Sperm that makes male babies also dies easier in an acidic environment, so eat lots of citrus. Try to conceive 3 days before your ovulation because sperm that makes girls lives longer than sperm that makes boys. At the 2 month mark you can do a blood test to see the sex of the kid and abort if it's xy. If it's xx then stop the low cal vegan diet and eat normally. There's also ivf which is more expensive but 99.9% accurate.

Had to repost so others can see without clicking

No. 394784

Sorry, I forgot posts from other boards don't show when you scroll over them

No. 394793

Since we are making wild suggestions, I suggest you have the father cum in a cup then spin the cup around like a centrifuge (gently if possible), take an oral syringe and collect the sperm at the bottom of the cup. X sperm cells are heavier and would ostensibly be at the bottom of the cup and thus you'd have a syringe full of X sperm cells.

But to be serious, please don't restrict nutrients deliberately for 2 months. I hate that idea for you and the fetus/baby.

No. 394795

I think a lot of women have baby dreams, I've definitely had some where I wake up disappointed that my children aren't real. If it's really stressing you out or happening a lot though there might be a reason?

No. 394836

Kek this is so fucking hilarious to me because I keep having baby dreams too, but mine are all nightmares of bottomless horror. For example, I had one where I had a son and had to raise him in a war zone, then when he was like 16 he was crushed by falling rubble right in front of me, and I wasn’t sad at all, instead I was instantly so incredibly happy to be free again. I always wake up from baby dreams in a panic, followed by relief when I realize it was just a dream and I have no children. Clearly we are different animals— people who try to generalize women are retarded

No. 394858

I cant wait to be a mom, I have dreams of having a baby, just lying in bed or holding my baby, taking my toddler on hikes, teaching my kid how to play their first guitar chords, but I feel a little hopeless about it. I really really really want to so bad but I don’t want to have children if I’m not married, I feel like that would be the hard part for me. But I’m not going to let my negative self doubt get in my way, hopefully one day I’ll find a good man and we’ll get married and have children. Hopefully one day!!!

No. 394866

>>394715 here. Yeah but the point is in my country you normally only find out the sex at the 20 weeks ultrasound. Maybe a few weeks earlier if you find a willing midwife. I might hate having a boy, but not to the point that I would risk my health having multiple abortions that far into the pregancy. Hence the reason asking about early bloodtests

No. 394885

It's ok, I only did it out of convenience + spread of information

No. 394901

How do you survive the constant toddler tantrums? I feel like my toddler screams nonstop all day long unless she is eating or sleeping. She demands my attention 24/7 and doesn't want to play with any of her toys, she just wants to do things she can't do like play in the toilet, eat firstfuls of mud outside or climb onto dangerous high places. I am so exhausted.

No. 394961

is she sleeping/napping correctly? a lot of tantrums can be chalked up to simply needing a nap

No. 395010

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how do you manage? I feel like a hot mess and forget appointments and such (nothing too important ofc, I just feel bad) what is a "checklist" of everything you need to do as a parent

No. 395037

Do any of you ever think about the possibility what if you were just being extremely horny at the thought of getting impregnated by your Nigel now you have to devote the rest of your life to a whole ass human being for minimum like 2 decades? Or what if that maybe is what most of humanity went through?

No. 395039

Nonna its alright just calm down. You don't need to be doing all of that and pressuring yourself either. Honestly at least I just focus on hanging out with and making sure the baby is fine. That's already more than enough work! Yes sometimes the dishes stay overnight in the sink and get washed during the next naptime, yes sometimes there's toys all around and at the end of the day you're too exhausted to do anything about that and there's absolutely no reason to feel less accomplished. The baby for sure won't mind. Honestly imo the mega organized clean girl aesthetic açai bowl green smoothie era of life is when you're not currently facing the biggest challenge life can give you, which is raising a little human. Nonna its okay just relax dont make yourself crazy.

The thing about appointments, I use telegram as a chat messenger and there you can make a channel for yourself + your husband and schedule messages. So I write every appointment in there and then schedule a message the day before/the morning of the day to repeat the appointment text again so I get a notification.

No. 395079

I am sure maaaany women have had children due to extreme horniness throughout history. Biological imperative.
I wanted children in my life - specifically, I wanted children that were older than 4 and not a baby or toddler. So I didn't think it through fully and having a baby is hard but not the hardest thing I've done.
I will say that pregnancy was the least sexy experience of my life and, because we planned our baby, copulative sex was no where near as much "fun" as the spontaneous sex I've had. Maybe if our baby had been unplanned I'd think differently about this entirely.

No. 395080

Is your husband or partner helping you with childcare? I get everything done by eating simple meals, and asking my husband to help with laundry and cleaning (he does) i only have one kid, but I don't keep a checklist. I do agree with this list's idea of not having a phone around at specific times - but I have a phone addiction and need that sort of rule.
As for appointments, I have a google calendar widget on my phone and I add the appointment to my calendar as soon as the appointment is made (at the doctor's office or whilst still on the phone). You can add attendees to the event too, if someone else needs to remember. I like the other nonna's idea about the telegram channel

No. 395081

Why are standards for mothers so extreme nowadays? And it's never for the better either, first you have the extremely crunchy people foaming at the mouth quite literally claiming feeding a child anything other than breast milk until they're 2 will kill them or false medical advices that somehow get tossed around as real without anyone questioning it, the worst one IMO is that the huge hate boner for single moms have caused women to be extremely co-dependent on their husbands to the point where a lot of moms are afraid of even going in public without their husband due to the fact even being seen without a man is enough for a lot of people to assume you're single and hate you because of it, you're expected to mindlessly listen to every single piece of deranged judgement you read online unless it's not right! Then it's why are you trusting stuff online over yourself but these same people will be ready to execute you for NOT listening to others. You can't have a social life, if you go out a single time without your children you're a bad mom but also how dare you make your personality about being a mom and women suck for losing themselves to motherhood. Even just asking for a break or help from others is enough to have people treat you like you're neglectful or too stupid to take care of kids you chose to have even though this has never ever been the case at any point in history. You need to work but also not really, stay in shape but don't neglect your children to take a break and workout, always have energy, always be perfect, etc.

It's not hard to see why infanticide rates have gone up rapidly. Of course when you make new and scared mothers feel like they will never be enough during one of the most dangerous mental times for them you're gonna get exactly that

No. 395219

Did you guys circumcise your son or not? Im having a son and wondering this myself. My husband also has a botched circumcision + I'm scared it will make him fussier as a baby

No. 395231

Why the fuck would you? Imo it's literally unthinkable It's such a barbaric practice which originates from an ancient desert religion that used it to mark their slaves.(No bs, look it up) Would you cut parts of your daughters clitoris off for no reason as well? And the muh hygienic meme is ridiculous as well like yeah if you cut your ears off you wouldn't have to clean them either.

No. 395233

Literally why would you even consider it. I thought everyone agreed now that it’s basically child abuse? I don’t have boys but if I did I would never have. my mom said my brother was less fussy because she didn’t have his done

No. 395241

Saying the baby could be "fussy" already a lowkey abusive and deranged way to play this down. Like the baby is so dramatic?? that along with the basically trauma of being born and having to be adjusted to the world itself he also got part of his anatomy removed in an area with a A LOT of nerve endings and is in constant pain that doesn't get any relief until his tiny body can grow scar tissue over it.

No. 395268

You get so much mixed information on both sides tbh. I've seen people who are pro circumcision swear not circumcising your baby will kill him and that it's basically child abuse, I've always been anti circumcision but I'm so scared something will go wrong

No. 395321

You're fucking retarded and I hope your scrotlet will get a necrotic peen and needs to be trooned out as a result.(infight bait/a-logging)

No. 395330

Is this the right thread for this idk, but this is such a strange thing for me cause I’ve never wanted kids before and never really imagined myself one day being a mother and figured it’s just a future problem for me to figure out but ever since I started dating my boyfriend and seeing pictures of him when he was a kid, he was just so cute and I feel like we’d make the most adorable mixture ever and have really cute kids. But not yet though cause I’m still way too young to have kids imo and I want to wait until im at least in my late 20s but this is insane to me bc I’ve never felt like ‘motherly’ urged or anything in my life, like yeah kids are cute and stuff but I don’t think I ever wanted one. And now the only reason I want one is cause I saw pictures of my boyfriend when he was a child and he was the cutest thing in the whole world, so I think we can make a really cute kid too. So this is for purely selfish reasons. But that’s why I think if I somehow got pregnant maybe I wouldn’t get an abortion just cause I would want to see how cute our kid would be our little baby mixture!!!! It would have huge brown eyes cause me and him both had really big cute brown eyes when we were kids, I hope it’d have his curly hair and his generally adorable babyish face too.

No. 395339

We are born as we should be, americans are so weird. Bc a guy who made cereal told you to chop the tip of a babys penis off you all think its normal

No. 395344

If he gets phimosis or whatever he can always get circumcised later to fix it. There's really no downside to not getting it done at birth.

No. 395415

"Something going wrong" for an uncircumcised penis is pretty rare and like the other anon said, your son could get it corrected when they're at least old enough to consent to the procedure. I imagine any potential issues would arise around puberty and treatment could involve several options beyond removing the entire foreskin - like streching with numbing cream added or something.

No. 395418

>I thought everyone agreed now that it’s basically child abuse?
On other pregnancy and new mom forums, there are alot of women who still do. Like babycenter or what to expect, where the normies are. I think chronically online women (I don't mean that as an insult. I am one) tend to not circumcise their sons.

No. 395502

To be fair, we also get all of our information and even majority of our education is exclusively online now. That being said, because of this internet moderators need to be more careful with fear mongering/false information as that's how most people get their research but you also can't necessarily blame new moms for asking questions and curiosity before making a decision. Truth is most of you are just as credible as women are mommy forums swearing babies need to be circumcised for their health, calling someone abusive for asking questions about common birth decisions sounds pretty unhinged imo but you also can't necessarily treat women like they're villains for not immediately knowing the "right" choices over things that have such debated choices

No. 395520

I can't think of any reason to circumcise a child.. most of the world doesn't do it and they don't have an epidemic of penis gangrene or whatever else, right? I think it's better to let the kid decide what he wants to do with his penis when he's older.

No. 395571

No. Genital mutilation is wrong. Simple as.

No. 395695

File: 1714937923743.jpg (88.43 KB, 976x549, _113530377_bears_kt-miller.jpg)

Not a mom yet and won't be anytime soon but want to be. How do parents now cope with climate change and how quickly the earth is changing for the worse? Random but it's something I always think about. I would feel so guilty if I have kids and in a few decades the earth is barely habitable and they have to eat roaches cause those are the only thing that manged to survive. Or is it just knowing that there's always something terrible happening and that shouldn't necessarily stop you from having children because chances are everything will be ok?

No. 395741

I am so sad because my toddler HATES being read to. She never liked it. I have been reading to her since she was in my belly still, as an infant she was Uninterested, it didn't calm her down and she didn't look at the pages. When she got old enough to flip the pages it became all she wants to do. She doesn't even look at the pictures she just wants to flip the pages and when I try to read she gets frustrated and slams the book shut. Now that she's a toddler and can walk she won't even sit with me to read, when I pick up a book to just read while she plays she comes over and slams it shut. I have tried all kinds of interactive books but she will have none of it.

It makes me sad because everyone always says reading to your kids is so important and she doesn't talk yet so I want to help her learn. My parents read to me so much but recently I have just given up because it feels like I am just torturing both of us. Maybe it will change when she gets older?

No. 395747

We are coming out of an ice age, humans affect on the environment hasn't actually done as much damage as its being made out to. The world isn't going to end from climate issues in a few decades. I understand your worry but not having children because of "what ifs" is very silly to me, life finds a way, humans are resilient.

No. 395748

Well for starters don't be a dumbass and move to an area that will be heavily targeted by global warming

No. 395755

Your toddler sounds lowQ. Some kids are just born dumb and there is no helping it.(infighting)

No. 395760

There's also a pretty decent chance the circumcision hurts hetero women in the long run too.
Making genitals less sensitive sure sounds like a great way to push someone towards more extreme ways of getting their rocks off.

No. 395761

Just sing a song with her or simply talk to her in full sentences and it will be beneficial for her development, it's not necessarily reading a book that is important for her language and communication skills. Also in case you didn't ever hear about Sold A Story and you think reading to her will make her more literate or will make it easier for her to learn to read, it doesn't really do that the way people say it will (in a roundabout way it would help build her vocabulary to expose her to more words but just talking also does that.)

No. 395766

Reminder most anons are not trained properly in child development and take all medical advice given on here with a grain of salt. Perhaps it's the way you're reading it that comes off as boring?

No. 395767

I can believe this, I see so many stories of western women who have to jump through hoops to get their partners rocks off, even in European countries where moids still watch porn, you don't have an influx of young men unable to fuck their own partner

No. 395772

literally teach him to slide and move the skin once he's old enough to shower by himself. my brother got phimosis because nobody ever told him he should do it and dirt grew under it so it became infected. that's literally all the maintenance a foreskin need.

No. 395781

I mean the flipping pages thing is normal tbh, it's novelty they seek. What if you try to make it a bit more exciting instead of just reading the text thats there just point at stuff and name it, what colour it is etc and the ASK and let them time to reply

No. 395784

This thread is honestly so hostile and awful I don't think I will be posting again.

No. 395786

This is probably the calmest of threads compared to others kek. Unpopular opinions have multi daily infights and the photoshoppers thread is filled with people calling anons fat trannies

No. 395789

>calling someone abusive for asking questions about common birth decisions sounds pretty unhinged imo
Anon read the comment chain more closesly. No one said she was abusive for asking abiut circumcision. They called her retarded though and said the practice is abusive. Reading comprehension is important but is a skill that can be learned

No. 395792

What part is hostile and awful?

No. 395829

How old is she? Some kids may not just like reading, but you might be able to get the same effects with face to face interactions and things like singing together. But if she reached toddler age without talking you should talk to a doctor about it, she might have a speech delay.

No. 395893

nothing, anon probably just said something stupid and got called out. Also who even posts that they're no longer going to post on an anonymous imageboard in a certain thread? kek. Even more delusional version of "excuse me I'm ignoring you"

No. 395915

Probably things like this? >>395755 In the last thread someone was wishing miscarriages on anons too. There are either some childfree retards hate reading these or moids

No. 395950

it's rough but certainly not even compared to the unhinged shit that happens in the other threads. Other threads will straight up call women's attention whores and traitors for having miscarriages. At least it seems like bait here is banned/ called out very quickly

No. 395954

I diyd my maternity photos today, I think the male baby hormones in me has made me less neurotic and self concious because I'm pretty happy with them.
I couldn't imagine paying someone to do it though, while taking the photos I felt super awkward. I had some stomach pain while sleeping but he's kicking around today so all must be well. It's hard to know what's normal and what's not.

No. 395973

Aw congrats Nonna. It can be a bit of a splurge but I regret having almost no photos of me pregnant esp nice ones. I'm sure you will cherish them!

No. 396698

File: 1715344573964.jpg (115.69 KB, 1280x853, next-to-me-crib_1280x.jpg)

It's been hard getting baby to sleep and husband wants to do CIO. I have had luck getting him to sleep quietly and within 30 min by cosleeping or laying next to him before he falls asleep and then transferring him to his bed (pretend cosleeping, if you will). We've been using the snoo but he is about to grow out of it. I want to delay or avoid CIO if possible and want to pursue cosleeping/pretend cosleeping.

What sort of crib should I get for my baby that will let me do this cosleeping/pretend cosleeping thing with him for as long as possible? I see cribs like pic related but I only want to get 1 crib until he ages out to a real bed. I'm willing to do just a matress on the floor or anything bootleg/not esthetic

My priorities are
>pretend cosleeping over actual cosleeping, or the ability to cosleep for naps but not at night
>not transferring baby to his bed (risks waking him)
>needs to be something not too inconvenient or else husband might not do it
>baby ideally sleeps in room separate from adults so one adult can have deep sleep while other feeds baby (low priority)

No. 396703

Cry it out is abuse. Like you're just causing adrenaline and cortisol spikes in the baby which is detrimental long term for their health, and disrupts ability to sleep even further until they become so exhausted that they give up knowing that no one is coming and dissociate until they basically pass out. Literally abusive shit and just further proof that moid takes have NO business in anything related to childcare. Do not give in to this absolute garbage. How old is your baby also? I have been cosleeping and then changed to putting simply the baby mattress surrounded by pillows on the floor next to our bed. So when my daughter wakes at night, I lay with her to breastfeed and then slide away once she's asleep. No transfer and nothing and safe solo sleep.

No. 396706

From my experience it's all about switching up different methods of sleep until you find something that works, I wouldn't recommend co sleeping though. For a short while the only place I could get my baby to sleep is the swing with a swaddle and lullaby music. Definitely experiment with different sounds, pacis, swaddling/sleep sacks, etc

No. 396710

Yeah I know CIO is shit

With a mattress on the floor, I'd have to prevent baby from rolling off? Other than hitting his head (say i have soft carpet or something) is there a risk from baby rolling off and sleeping on carpet? When does suffocation risk from mattress/carpet disappear (google seems to suggest either after 6 months or 12 months)?

Do you recommend against cosleeping because any reason other than suffocation? I favor pretend cosleeping (I'm next to him but get up after he falls asleep) for that reason.
We have been trying different stuff but I agree we should try to be more flexible about it. Bouncing him in a carrier works but it takes longer than me laying next to him and he cries sometimes with the carrier. I don't have a swing yet but I feel like the swing would end up being similar the snoo.

No. 396755

File: 1715358802704.jpg (86.23 KB, 679x679, 81IeJrSDUjL._AC_SX679_1200x120…)

Protip for new moms: the kids preferred Mickey Mouse high contrast collection has some of the highest quality newborn toys I have been able to find. I am disappointed I didn't find out about it until my kid was past the colorblind stage and hope this post will save other women this grief.

Pic related can be used as high contrast cards when the baby is small and a tissue box emptying game when she is older. They also have high contrast books that can be used as stuffed animals once the baby is bigger and a really nice tummy time mirror/car mirror with high contrast dangling toys.

No. 396757

File: 1715359043639.jpg (192.22 KB, 828x1000, 91uGpmJMyKL._AC_UF1000,1000_QL…)

Have you tried interactive books like this one? What if you make wacky faces and sounds while reading? My baby thinks normal books are lame but books that make mommy act like a clown are fun.

No. 396891

A lot of swings move faster and the position is more comfortable for some babies, even just switching sleeping space can be beneficial like switching to the crib or pack and play. Co sleeping can intensify PPD and make sleep schedules even harder

No. 396907

I found cosleeping absolutely helped with sleeping. Because I just fed the baby while laying on the side and rolling up my top and positioning comes so easily after a while that I managed to do it with barely waking up and falling asleep while feeding as well. Literally a lifesaver in the newborn phase. And what do you mean it makes PPD worse? You would feel miserable being closer to the baby? Weird af arguments.

No. 396918

hi anons, i'm childfree but not hateful of parents or anything. i'm 30 and have never, ever felt like i wanted to have a baby. did you guys feel like you wanted kids from a young age or did it come in time? did you want a baby even without having a partner to help raise it? i have absolutely zero "baby fever" feelings so i'm just curious how it feels(The OP literally states to refrain from posting if you are childfree)

No. 396923

I am keeping the gender a surprise until birth. I had the anatomy scan at my last appointment, going forward do I need to begin each session by telling the midwife to not mention baby's sex? I don't want to be annoying but I don't want this ruined for me either.

No. 397075

>what do you mean it makes PPD worse? You would feel miserable being closer to the baby? Weird af arguments.
for me I took care of baby around the clock and felt suffocated if I wasn't able to get a minute alone, literally no breaks, I couldn't get a single minute to myself at times and started feeling resentful. You shouldn't shame mothers for choosing methods that help their mental health ESPECIALLY during a time when we're having a huge spike in infanticides. Women need to know options that prevent infantcide/postpartum suicide

No. 397254

File: 1715530081136.jpg (133.07 KB, 1080x1620, il_1080xN.4991841961_t2wj.jpg)

Am I the only one who feels like she should alter her wardrobe for her baby? I saw a fugly rainbow dress at the store the other day and I kind of regret not getting it because my baby likes rainbows. I'm thinking I should probably start looking for cute running shoes too so I can follow her efficiently when she starts being mobile.

No. 397256

Protip: if your baby is over six months old, you can share your mother's day cake with them. If they can't handle the cake part of the cake yet you can just let them lick frosting. It's really cute to watch.

Yeah you should probably tell the midwife every time just to be safe. Sometimes they are so busy they forget to ask.

I knew I wanted kids since I was a kid myself, but it was more about not wanting to miss out on an experience and not wanting to be alone at 80 years old than about liking kids. I hated kids, actually. But now that I'm a mother I love mine very much.

For me it made PPD better because it allowed me to get more sleep. My baby often only sleeps in one hour chunks unless she is on a human.

No. 397281

Anons who have kids old enough to give gifts, what did you get for Mother’s Day? My daughter tried to pick flowers for me, but she’s 3 and not really aware of what flowers are, so she just handed me a bunch of weeds. I have them in a glass on my table.

No. 397286

That's so cute nonna do it

No. 397291

You can wear what you want after having kids, just because you're a mom doesn't mean you're confined to beige tents and workout clothes

No. 397294

That's actually really cute kek

No. 397377

husband and I have an almost 2 year old, he didn't make me a mother's day card together with her, I know she can't do much except scribble with crayons but I made him a wonderful father's day card last father's day with our handprints and I even wrote a poem for him from me and her. I am so sad that he made me nothing, am I wrong to expect this? I just wanted to read some nice words of appreciation and what a good mom I am with some crayon scribbles… I am crying over this

No. 397413

nta but I married a chad and got an expensive spa day, tons of books and a sewing machine I wanted for mothers day kek. It's typically the uggos not doing shit

No. 397442

ah yeah the usual levels of empathy in this thread

No. 397497

I get what you mean about potential to make ppd worse - it's a delicate thing and all women have different histories/biology that make their risk and symptom intensity different so some women are sensitive to things others aren't.
We're about to move but I'll definitely look into swings to buy after if baby is small enough for them still.

No. 397499

That is so cute.
Sorry nonna that would suck. you should talk to him about it - expect the possibility that he'll get defensive and feel criticized but if it's important to you it's worth it. You don't want this feeling to get dragged out through the years

No. 397535

Your husband is a pathetic man.

No. 397537

I'm sorry, nonna. Men are really the worst at giving gifts and being romantic when it matters. I'm sure you're a great mom and your daughter is lucky to have you.

No. 397547

I tried to talk to him and he just got mad saying he had no time because I am always around (well fuck I would love to take an hour or two off to sit by myself while he does crafts with her) and then just said "I guess I am just the worst" usual moid deflection and inability to apologize and accept responsibility. I think he really just doesn't care.

No. 397575

Don't make him anything for his birthday or any Father's Days until he gets his shit together, be just as DARVO as he is. You deserve better, you really do.

No. 397598

If he doesn’t care there’s no fixing it imo, throw the whole man out as they say. You gave him a child and are raising it for him and he takes it all for granted.

No. 397659

>"I guess I am just the worst" usual moid deflection and inability to apologize and accept responsibility. I think he really just doesn't care.
Not suprised at all.
I got my husband to snap out of this pattern of behavior by calling him out whenever he'd use logical fallacies (had to look them up first/memorize the names, what the signs are, why they're shit) and then shame him for it.

My husband sees himself as ~smart~ so I knew that making it clear that
>I'm trying to solve a problem I'm having and instead of collaborating to find the solution /help me find some objective truth that we can both agree on, he is derailing the conversation and keeping us stagnant
>I see him as weak-minded when this happens

would motivate him. Idk if your husband would respond the same way but it's worked for me (this one thing he still disappoints me in other ways). I could see it making things worse if your husband has some other issues

No. 397673

Can you tell someone else to talk to him about it? Sometimes shame works better. If you tell him you’re sad about it he could think of it as a you problem, but if someone else tells him he’s a failure for not doing it he might understand it’s a him problem.
Unless you wanna just tell him directly he’s supposed to do that, that’s fine too.

No. 397835

File: 1715683007633.jpg (33.8 KB, 500x334, 1000000237.jpg)

Americans will have meltdowns about how you need to be rear facing until your kid is 4-6 on the dot and if the buckle is even slightly below their nipple line they'll literally die… Just to throw their kids on a seatbeltless school bus that throws around little kids kek

No. 397853

>seatbeltless school bus
? most american school buses have seat belts

No. 397907

I have not once rode a school bus with seatbelts. Once I fell off the seat into the isle because of a crazy turn kek

No. 397991

What's with anons who clearly aren't amerifags trying to comment on what happens in America? Only 8 states require seatbelts and that's only been a thing since 2019, the states that do have those need to go through loads of approval to install those anyway. Majority of American school buses don't have seatbelts

No. 398008

nta but the best way to get this to work is to quite literally start pulling away. Majority of moids don't give a flying fuck about how they treat you unless they actually realize you have one foot in the door one foot out the door. The whole "sorry I'm not prince charming" type deal almost sounds like a weird sick inside joke about you and how much you're willing to deal with and not do anything about it

No. 398091

>who clearly aren't amerifags
I'm American and all the school buses in my area have them so it's probably a location thing.

No. 398099

No. 398100

Postpartum rage is kicking my ass right now. I love my baby, I really do, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I see red, and I have to step away to cool down. I had a breakdown today because she just kept spitting up on every onesie I put her in, until there were literally none left. I couldn’t even cry, because my crying makes her cry, so I have to do it silently. I wish people talked about these parts of motherhood too. It sucks, I’m tired, I’m sleep deprived. I am never gonna hurt my baby, but I no longer look at those infanticide cases from a mother with postpartum mental illness with disgust anymore. If I didn’t have support, I could be a monster too. It’s so bad. I’m afraid that one day, I’ll be alone and I’ll do something stupid in this rage. I wish I could be the patient mother she deserves.

No. 398110

doubt, I live in one of the only states that supposedly made them a thing and even school buses here don't have them

No. 398119

Deep breath anon, you’re doing a wonderful job. It won’t always be like this, this is an incredibly big adjustment and it’s beyond understandable to feel angry etc. Especially when sleep deprived.

Be patient with yourself, you’re doing great

No. 398120

If you feel like you have the capacity to hurt your child, then you need to get help.

No. 398128

I can't take a photo of it since I haven't been to school in years so idk how to prove it kek. I didn't know it was that rare here…like even the teachers would occasionally go down the bus aisle to make sure everyone was buckled.

No. 398148

I've been to every midwife at the center I chose and to be honest I feel really safe with all of them and enjoy the qualities of each and can't pick which one I'd like to see for the rest of the pregnancy. Is it fine if I just keep choosing whoever has availability on the dates, or is that weird? Should I be choosing one for the long haul of these appointments?

No. 398162

If you know it's not usual why would you try to put your own input? Makes no sense

No. 398168

Interview heavily about how they are with scheduling anon. My first midwife put me on an awful feeding schedule that damn near drove me insane and turned out to not even be necessary (wanted me to pump after every single feed despite baby being EBF, almost called CPS claiming my milk supply would be dropping and I'd be starving my child despite the fact I had an oversupply). Not the first time I've heard of midwives pushing "pump after every feed from day one".

Also pain management - make sure you get pain management and midwives aren't going to fight against opioids if you need it, make sure they realize the importance of proper post partum care and sleep, etc. all of this can make or break your experience

No. 398214

Every time I get annoyed with my baby it has been because I have set expectations that aren't realistic. Working on accepting substandard-to-you conditions might help you and it isn't forever. Baby can wear spit-upy outfits, for instance, or maybe a drool bib would help buffer some of the mess?
Also saying outloud "oh you're having a hard time right now, aren't you" over and over when my baby is fussy helps remind me that my baby is having a hard time and needs my help, and is not giving me a hard time.
If you need to walk away from baby and let her cry or sit in spit up for 5 minutes, it is better than getting mad.
I am sure you know but it's really important that you dig deep and try to find a solution that doesn't involve you getting mad or harming baby. Do anything and everything to not let the annoyance turn to anger and spiral. Wear earplugs, listen to goofy music, let her stay dirty and call her stinky butt until you calm down, whatever it takes to diffuse the tension.

No. 398489

I really want to have my first baby but just general hygiene chores, the 2 hours in the gym and general house cleaning chores completely exhaust me and all I want to do is lie down the rest of my time. I'm worried that I won't be able to cope with how much attention the baby will need.

No. 398510

This 100% sounds like me before I started taking methylcobalamin (b12) and iron. It isn't normal to be exhausted like that. Have you ever gotten a blood draw to check for deficiencies?
The acceptable ranges for ferritin are misleading. "Normal" for women is 13 to 150 ng/mL but anything less than 30 ng/mL is considered iron deficiency without anemia. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8002799/

The lack of sleep is exhausting but I am not overhwlemed because my husband helps me. The most important decision you will make in your life is selecting the man to have kids with. Pick someone who will help you with chores and the baby and who is mentally/emotional mature. Your experience will be alot better and you won't be crazy tired.

No. 398707

Why did I have to be a mother in the most anti-mom place and time? All I ever wanted was to be a mother now it just feels like the world hates me for it. In my next life I hope to be something nice like a bird mom so I can be a mother without feeling like everyone hates me

No. 398709

I’m confused, what do you mean?

No. 398714

Have any nonas had experiences with their babies measuring small around 20+ weeks? How did it go for you and baby?

No. 398727

>>398707 You will be a good and fierce killdeer in this life and the next nona

No. 398736

>All I ever wanted was to be a mother now it just feels like the world hates me for it.
Find new friends or find a new part of the internet to hang out in. I had a similar impression but people (other parents) are really supportive.

No. 398766

File: 1715948191019.png (504.38 KB, 557x549, socks.png)

I'm having crazy baby fever right now. I keep seeing the cutest baby videos on the internet and even the thought of the tiny little clothes makes me want to cry from cuteness. Even something as stupid as baby toys or socks of all things make me emotional from how cute they are.

No. 398788

Has anyone successfully made mom/parent friends with strangers? None of my other friends have kids. The only people eager to be mom friends with me turned out to want to recruit me into their church. Any tips would be appreciated

No. 398848

How do I start feeling like a woman again? I lost the baby weight and am a year postpartum, but I feel like a gutter crawler. When my Nigel found out I felt this way he took the baby out so I could shower and shampoo and shave without heating screaming, and told me to find a salon so he can get me a haircut. He’s also taking me to buy a bra that actually fits, as I’m still nursing and have been in stretchy letter size monstrosities this whole time. He also wants to help me get some pants, as I’ve been stuck in my first trimester clothes for the past 10 months. (I do have my own income and never thought to ask him to help with this; with baby expenses I just haven’t spent anything on myself.) What else can I do to feel better, keeping in mind I have no time between work, baby, and chores. Exercise and the like isn’t something I can do on weekdays.

No. 399012

File: 1716063535673.png (413.65 KB, 1525x1789, 39gkci8gybg61.png)

Today I found out you can play vidyagaems to strengthen your pelvic floor after having a baby. I'm kind of disappointed nobody is doing let's plays or twitch streams.

No. 399013

Mine measured big one month and tiny the next, there was no consistency in her size. In the end she was born tiny but healthy.

No. 399185

Holy shit, this made me kek. I'm so tempted to buy this for my wife as a gag but I'm pretty sure she'd throw it at my head (understandable). Ngl I'd be tempted to try it myself. Can it run Doom?

No. 399237

Not yet but some enterprising coder could probably hack the sensor and make pelvic floor doom a real thing. What I really want to see is a pelvic floor fighting game with tournaments to see who has the mightiest vagina.

No. 399275

I want this!!!!

No. 399280

>What I really want to see is a pelvic floor fighting game with tournaments to see who has the mightiest vagina.
Catch me training like Rocky to beat all the lolcow girlies at coochie Tekken.

No. 399389

I have the Elvie. It’s far less exciting and definitely a chore. Maybe I should have gotten the perifit.

No. 399645

What book do you recommend a breastfeeding FTM should read?

No. 399648

Whatever lactation consultants are reading - don't. Ive heard of so many lactation consultants ruining women's breastfeeding journeys or doing more harm than good.

Also might want to choose something not American based as Americans have so much misinformation when it comes to breastfeeding

No. 399862

One that tells her not to breastfeed and pass her experimental medication onto her baby. That kid is fucked enough having a retard for a mother, no need to make it worse.

No. 400003

FTM also means "first time mother", you fucking rhesus monkey.

No. 400024

No. 400026

Retarded acronym to use on this site of all places

No. 400133

It's an extremely common acronym. If you can't work out that a woman openly calling herself a "FTM" in the fucking baby thread on a tranny hating website isn't a troon, then that's on you, not her.

No. 400148

I was thinking the same thing, like "why would you use that here?" but actually she's right we're wrong. Let the moms reclaim FTM, we use TIF here anyway because it's more accurate.

No. 400217

We plan to start trying for a baby later this year but I'm panicking about how we'll balance work and caring for a baby (especially on my end). We both work from home, my fiance makes decent money (I don't earn as much and I'll obviously earn even less with maternity leave) and he's incredibly supportive/proactive about doing chores and the like.
My hope would be to eventually return to my freelance work around the baby's sleep schedule and only really have the in-laws help us out (they live nearby and are both retired), but every forum, every reddit post basically says that's impossible and insane and you should either put your kid in daycare multiple days a week (daycare is too expensive where I live, would genuinely be more than our mortgage) or be a stay-at-home mom until they're school aged. I can't tell if I'm delusional or if they all just don't have any support from their moids and parents. Even ~girlboss~ blogs about freelancing with a newborn end up mentioning daycare and nannies.
Do any nonnies have experience with this? Are you able to get any work done even with mom brain? Would this be too exhausting to be sustainable? I'm really worried about longterm financial health, I grew up poor and don't want to put my children through that.

No. 400239

Both my wife and I work from home and we have twins. It is hard work and it's a huge adjustment, but IMO it is doable. For us the key is routine, it takes time of course, but once you manage to get the kids on even just a loose routine you'll find yourself being able to slot in work sessions and work around each other. I can't speak for the mum brain as my wife carried the kids, but she has mentioned it holding her back a bit, as well as the exhaustion. I actually wanted to retire her, if I'm being completely honest. But her work is important to her, she finds it rewarding so I understand wanting to keep that part of her identity. I think it's been good for her to keep going, she's part-time now but doing incredible. She's mentally very resilient whereas I'm a worrier, so it took me a while to get into a flow state with my work as a new mum; there's always those nagging thoughts in the back of your head "are the kids ok? is my partner ok? have I done this? have I done that?" but I'm getting there slowly. Luckily I have a wonderful stepmum who's a very hands-on grandmother so she's around quite a bit which helps ease the workload. I will say I am making less with my business now, not by a huge margin and I'm still turning a profit, but I think it's only natural for your work to dip when living this life. It's all about managing expectations and preparing, IMO. I worked my tits off while we were conceiving and my wife was pregnant so I had that cushion to fall back on. I also grew up poor, so I understand your worries. Anyway idk if this was helpful, but your husband sounds dependable and you have in-laws nearby which is a huge bonus. If your heart is telling you to follow this path, then do it. I wouldn't change this for the world. I love having my kids close by and not missing out on any important moments. When I'm struggling with my work I often go and play with them and they always give me the strength to push on and work for their future. Whatever you choose I wish you all the best, nona.

No. 400376

Is there a reason why one would keep their baby's sex a secret when talking in safe online spaces?

No. 400385

I hope this upcoming journey goes well for you.
>but every forum, every reddit post basically says that's impossible and insane
I have seen those posts. It truly depends on your personal situation and yeah I do suspect in a lot of cases it's related to having an unhelpful partner. In-laws can be a source of pain and stress in your life or they can be a wonderful support. Pregnancy, having a baby/recovery, the stress from taking care of a baby (it is so much responsibility and lifestyle change) It can be a fragile or sensitive time for either the mom or the dad, but of course everyone has their own level of resiliency and stamina.
If your in-laws are people who would be able to watch the baby without creating additional stress on you/your husband, then that is a solid plan. However, it's common that in-laws will overstep boundaries, become judgemental and critical, or just become too obtrusive and controlling once the baby arrives. Sometimes the change is unexpected, or the dynamic change is caused by a shift in the parents and not the in-laws. Whatever the reason, there is a saying "free childcare is not free."
Some of my coworkers have hired part time nannies that are in the home while the parent is also home working. I can't imagine it's much more expensive than daycare.
Whatever you end up deciding to do, you can always change your mind if it isn't working for you. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You are not locked into any decision forever.

>Are you able to get any work done even with mom brain?

Yes, I found the return to work easy - I am definitely dumber than I was before but it feels like I am 10% dumber and it didn't impact work. Working during pregnancy was harder and nearly impossible some days, with respect to brain fog and sleepiness, but everyone I asked about it said they didn't observe any differences in my behavior.

>Would this be too exhausting to be sustainable?

If your husband pulls his weight and you both get enough sleep I wouldn't be worried.

No. 400624

Why would you want to work? Serious question esp if your husband gets paid enough to sustain you. Are you that adicted to consoomerism or simply a slave?

No. 400646

Nta but if you wanna seem credible your first step would not be immediately accusing the anon of all kinds of weird crap for simply asking if she should return to work

No. 400648

Some people like not having to depend on their partner and making their own money for various reasons, or just to get out of the house and be around other people.

No. 400859

Not sure if this is even the right thread but I need to talk about this. Sometimes I think I really do want children and I want it but it’s ONLY thinking of having a daughter or two. Then I remember I might be pregnant with a boy and any desire instantly evaporates, and it’s not in an edgy radfem way (I mean I am sort of a radfem but this is not political) I feel like I’m not even capable of being knocked up with a male though, like if I do decide I just feel like it’ll be a girl so maybe I should trust my instincts and take the plunge one day

No. 400871

I thought this too and I'm currently pregnant with a boy. I'm scared of how he will turn out, babyhood is fun, I just hope the podcast era stops by the time he gets old enough to use technology

No. 400931

being pregnant with a boy is one of my greatest fears in life ngl. godspeed anon hope he turns out to be a gentle and kind soul

No. 401164

Where are you all getting your jeans postpartum? I am 1 year postpartum and 5 lbs up from my previous weight, but my stomach is huge! I went to the mall today and nothing looked good. The jeans I wore before getting pregnant aren’t even available anymore.

No. 401210

I didn’t wear jeans for a couple years because of this reason. Body is still adjusting, even more so if you’re still breastfeeding.
Or consider buying a really nice pair of jeggings. And I mean really nice. Cheap ones are the worst. They make nice ones now but they’re pretty pricey.

No. 401211

Get your hormones checked, a lot of thyroid hormones can be thrown off after pregnancy

No. 401682

tradfags btfo
did going back to uni help return your sanity/schedule? I love being a mom more than anything in the world, but I also want to set a good example for my children and get higher education, I don't want to be "just a mom" anymore

No. 401712

You might have diastasis recti

No. 402126

I’m going into labor, but I have no friends, family, or romantic partner for support. It’s literally just me and the nurses, nobody else. This is my first baby, and my only birth experience is when my middle school played The Miracle of Life. Any advice for surviving what’s about to come? It’s not quite excruciating yet, but I know what I’m in for.

No. 402249

I think I do. Do any US nonnies have experience getting pt for this? It seems like pelvic floor therapy is far more widespread. I live in a major city but finding childcare is tricky, so I don’t want to be wasting my time.

No. 402253

Anon you replied to and wellyou just birth controlled me. But if I do try in a few years, I will be doing the citrus method and I will be using the method where you do it like 4-5 days before you ovulate since ALLEGEDLY male sperms are much less likely to make it through. Sorry if this sounds insensitive lol I wish you the best possible boy baby luck. My cousins are all male and they turned out pretty good as far as I know. Like they seem respectful and not subhuman and aren’t ugly which are all wins for males

How did it go?

No. 402281

I wish you all the best anon! The nurses we so kind to me during birth and after. I hope you have a similar experience

No. 403088

If it is mild you can correct it at home. Look up exercises for correcting diastasis recti and be mindful that you have proper form (use mirror or cellphone)

No. 403113

my vagina is really itchy but there is a baby sleeping on my lap so I can't scratch it :((emoji)

No. 403114

Go back from whence you came.

No. 403215

Use sperm sorting instead.

No. 403256

Believe it or not, it's a deliberate psyop by cryptofash orgs like La Leche League. As male grip on capital weakened, they were strategically deployed as an attempt to promote childrearing practices that are impossible to actualize (eternal breastfeeding, attachment parenting, etc) unless you're chained to the kitchen sink.

No. 403321

File: 1717483151616.png (6.75 KB, 343x386, 1000006319.png)

Getting induced tomorrow and I literally can't stop mentally spiraling over the amount of pain I'll be in or how my life is about to change forever. I'm both terrified and excited, how do people deal with this

No. 403324

Kek I love this pic

No. 403332

>la leche league
I hate crunchy moms and boob nazis too, but as they say, you should never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. The crunchy gymnastics likely happen because the women involved have zero accomplishments beyond infant-rearing rather than because of some ideology.
Hope everything goes well!

No. 403367

The creators of attachment parenting are evangelical christians and la leche league iirc has a similar origin. Like all "natural" shit it's embraced by crunchies (signifying a successful psyop after all), but that doesn't erase the original intent behind those orgs.

No. 403385

You aren't alone in these feelings if that makes you feel better.
All the best and i wish you well.

No. 403407

File: 1717514782913.png (679.86 KB, 632x848, IMG_20240604_081423.png)

Huh? There's a lot of data backing up the ideas that breast milk and frequent physical closeness are good for little babies. There is also data backing up the fact that kids raised in single parent household tend to do less well than their peers. Not that it should stop anyone from divorcing if their partner is abusive… no doubt being exposed to things like violence would hurt a kid more than having one parent.

It always makes me sad that religious people are the only ones who seem to care about babies nowadays. Sometimes it feels like everyone else is like pic related.

Epidurals and painkillers make labor a lot more bearable. I suggest getting lots of sleep in advance and planning meals you can just pop in the microwave, you'll be tired and hungry once it's over but the amount of rest you'll be able to get depends on your support system.

No. 403448

Attachment parenting is not about physical closeness with the baby, it's about literally never leaving the kid and sleeping in the same bed until it's like 10 lmao

No. 403452

I am 7 months pregnant and have made the irreversible mistake of choosing the wrong man to have a baby with. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, and can't even rightfully complain because the fault is my own. I am paralyzed by fear of the future and don't know what to do or say or think. I have failed my baby.

No. 403454

You recognized it before the baby is here and that's what's most important as now you can take steps to protect your self and baby. My sister also had a baby with a shit moid but it didn't set in with her until her baby was 2 and the dad left the baby at home to get drunk while my sister was at work. You can do it nonna, reach out to even distant family and friends you'll be surprised at how willing folks are to help with babies.

No. 403456

>I have failed my baby.
First off, drop this mindset now. You've only failed your baby when you give up on them and let them suffer with a bad father. Not sure what your situation is (and you do not need to share it) but if you want better for your child, then leave him ASAP. Preferably before the baby is born because once he signs the birth certificate that opens up a bunch of legal shit that makes it difficult for you to have sole custody

No. 403457

Correct me if I'm wrong but an abortion is still possible at this stage.

No. 403559

Whatever you're going through sounds like it must be heartbreaking, but it's for the best you realize it now. It's not too late. The best thing you can do for your baby is find somewhere safe to take care of the both of you. I hope you have family or friends to lean on right now. Good luck nona.

No. 403672

Most people don’t want an abortion at this stage. She needs to plan a life without the moid.

No. 403733

But half the genes are from the low tier moid.

No. 403740

I think some of it is commercialization. individuals running business as 'experts", influencers, or organization's create ideals or standards to sell people either a book or consultancy service. Individuals then take that information and perpetuate those ideas.
Coupled with that, people throughout history have a tendancy to become fanatical about ideas. It isn't just related to parenting - you can see this in other spheres. The internet also makes it so much easier for everyone to exchange ideas so this phenomenon is at the intensity we have now

No. 403755

Does anyone know what pulmonary embolism pain is supposed to feel like? I have chest pain in the area where a PE might be but no other symptoms nor risk factors aside from being pregnant. Really don't want to have to spend all day getting tested tomorrow fml

No. 403757

Pregnant women are at significantly increased risk for blood clots and pulmonary embolism. Go to the hospital or you could die in your sleep.

No. 403762

Is it worth it when the pain just feels like pleurisy and there are no other symptoms?

No. 403764

Where do you live that you can get an elective abortion at 7 months??

No. 403769

It's simply just the fact everyone is extremely arrogant nowadays and can't understand when or why they're wrong. mothers are an easy target since most moms are always looking to improve their skills and pushing them down is a lot easier since they have lots of love and care towards their kids, telling a mom she's wrong over every little thing will sting a lot worse

No. 403770

Blood clots can be silent killers. Some women have no symptoms then just drop dead because they were on birth control or pregnant. The hormone levels increase your bloods thickening and clotting. If you’re pregnant and have pain while breathing you need to go to the dr.

No. 403783

Now I have the same exact sensation on the other side of my chest. It must just be a respiratory infection or something. Though if I don't come back to lolcor it means I died

No. 403895

Do you want the baby? You can always join a mommune or move in with friends/family that you know will help. Try to stay off of TikTok and Instagram though, a lot of severe hate boners for single moms

No. 403914

I survived, the doctor thinks it's just from a mild respiratory infection since there's zero indication that anything else is wrong, and she ordered me to take it easy today and drink lots of water since the ordeal had freaked me out and elevated my BP and heart rate. What a shitty situation, though better than dying from a blood clot I suppose.

No. 404065

File: 1717704900572.png (29.59 KB, 512x512, 2565063.png)

>chronic constipation because of pelvic floor issues combined with the fact that due to breastfeeding, my boobs steal every extra ounce of moisture I ingest

>baby fell asleep in her gym

>take the opportunity to heed nature's call

>it's one of those massive hard poops that come out in little chunks at an average rate of one chunk per five minutes

>baby wakes up, is angry

>get up mid poop with one chunk dangling halfway out of my butt to go soothe the baby

>after soothing, go clean myself and proceed to hold in the rest of my poop until her next nap

you really don't know what true love is until you have had a baby

No. 404066

Why not wait 2 seconds until the poop falls out peacefully? The baby can wait a little jesus kek

No. 404067

I'm super constipated, pooping it all out would probably take 30 minutes.

No. 404076

Try dates! Nobody should ever be that constipated. Dates and at least a gallon of water a day.

No. 404082

Hi I’m back and god damn, that was the roughest experience of my life. I knew it was gonna hurt during labor, but the aftermath is nightmarish. My vagina felt like it was on fire for days, and witch hazel doesn’t even put a dent in the pain. I had to just get a bag of frozen peas and stuff that in my panties.

No. 404094

Yeah. I’m 22 and sometimes I cry because I feel a physical biological urge to have a child and care for them. Like some part of me just needs to be cradling my baby right now.

No. 404096

Congratulations though nonna ♥ I’m sending good vibes for your recovery and postpartum healing

No. 404265

They didn't give you lidocaine or pain killers?

No. 404468

Ice is good. So is dermaplast. Or whatever lidocaine spray they have near you.

No. 404476

Those giant maxi pads with the cooling effect were the best thing ever. 11/10 would recommend

No. 404526

File: 1717828858159.jpg (52.65 KB, 772x960, 5465434684.jpg)

I'm 27 right now and single, and have basically come to the conclusion that I will be totally fine without kids, but would be willing to have 1 or 2 if I met the right person. However, I don't have strong maternal instincts, like at all. I have never experienced baby fever, and when I have dreams about having kids I usually wake up relieved that they aren't real. I don't hate kids, though. I think they're funny and interesting, and don't mind being around them. I am pretty awkward around them, I try to interact with them or wave at them and just feel like I'm being weird. I have a strong work ethic and consider myself emotionally resilient though, so sometimes I think I could handle motherhood. My own mother was a paranoid borderline schizo shut-in who was verbally and physically abusive though so maybe I just think I'd be a good mother because I had a bad example?

No. 404781

This all sounds pretty common or normal.
The #1 most important thing is selecting the right partner. It'll impact everything. Be ruthless when dating, pregnancy is so vulnerable and is a physical and mental sacrifice. future you deserves a supportive, loving husband. Your future kids deserve a good father.
Be aware that pregnancy and motherhood can stir up painful memories about your mom and your childhood. You might want to have a therapist for pregnancy or be able to work through it yourself.
Other than that your other worries (lack of maternal instinct, current state of singleness) are nbd imo.

No. 404783

Samefag but the mother thing is nbd also. You know what not to do and you already know how bad parenting (or untreated mental illness. Mothers need to take care of themselves too and often don't for many reasons) can hurt children. Just try to be mindful of it >>404526

No. 405156

Have any of you lost 100% of your fitness during pregnancy and get it back later?
Did you follow a guide to do it?

No. 405159

You can’t lose 100% of your fitness from being pregnant kek

No. 405222

This, I had pre-pre eclampsia and did nothing but rest and eat for 4 months, even after I recovered it was never a complete 180 or anything, just slightly more difficult

No. 405223

whats pre-pre-eclampsia?

No. 405228

I had tachy and my blood pressure was going up sometimes but never offically "had it"

No. 405229

She's obviously exaggerating if you couldn't tell, my little autist. I'll never understand anons who deliberately misunderstand posts just to cause infights.

No. 405256

Adding on to this, I was fit as fuck during my pregnancy. I swam a lot, exercised every day, did a ton of squats. I felt STRONG. Then I had a nightmare labour. 4 days prodromal labour, 14 hour real labour, nearly 5 hours of pushing. I'm 6 months post partum and only now starting to regain some of my old strength. Its been humbling, I've always been far fitter than my husband and for the first time ever he can walk faster and further than I can. The labour on top of extreme sleep deprivation (my little one is a terrible sleeper) and breastfeeding wrecked me. Is exercising daily even going to help me or do I need to take it slow and fully recover first?

No. 405264

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and the closer I get to birth time the more its kinda sinking in that I have to get this big ass baby out of me lol.
I've been extremely disappointed with all of my pregnancy care, I dont know if its my countries health system (aus) or what but holy shit.
The hospital I'm giving birth at is the same place I'm getting my midwife care and bloodwork stuff done, they have an app and my test results are in and I have no idea what they mean and I dont see the midwife until July 10th.
I would assume if something is wrong then it would be flagged on the system and I get a call to book in/they auto book me in? Or is that something I'm meant to chase up myself? I wish the results just says YES YOU HAVE GB/ YES YOU HAVE STREP but it doesnt, its all vague and could be taken either way.

I had gone to the ER at 26 weeks because bub had only moved 4 times in 48 hours, got checked and everything is fine apparently. The report was sent to the app and it says "diagnosis: foetal and placental problem affecting management of mother".
Wtf does that mean? The Dr said everything was fine? The hospital doesnt have an ER line for me to call to ask, its an hour drive away. Dr Google throws up "placental insufficiency" and says the placenta isnt giving enough blood.
I had seen a midwife a few days after that ER visit for my 26 week check and she didnt mention the report at all (I didnt have it on my app yet or I would have asked) and bub was apparently fine at that checkup.

Why does everything feel like a struggle? Is it my hormones making me sensitive? I'm worried I'm slipping through the cracks?

I only have 2 booked appointments to see a midwife until I give birth and that seems extremely low? Every video around pregnancy I watch people are being seen 2ish weeks starting now? What if something goes wrong and its not caught because I dont see anyone for 4 weeks? Is that only for people who are high risk?

No. 405461

my cousin was deeply troubled by this. even though i am also a mother, I didnt realize that this was a thing until she started having breakdowns about not parenting the right way. We discovered that this happened to her because she consumes a lot of content on social media aimed at moms. I am a social media-phobe, other than lolcow, so I was never exposed to any of the fearmongering. I have always just looked at parenting as a trial and error type of deal and had no idea how hard many mothers are on themselves these days. I think a lot of moms become lonely from the isolation motherhood can cause, so they try to remedy this by reaching out on various social media. I think that modern social media operates through igniting the emotions of both fear and anger to get peoples attention longer per visit. Making mothers overly afraid and angry at differing parenting styles is probably making these sites and apps a lot of money. My cousin was having actual regular panic attacks over things like making sure she was buying the right things for her son and talking to him in the right way. She was overly relying on opinions of other people on apps and articles instead of listening to her own intuition as a mother. She was never this worried as a person before she became a mother. Her personality was very independent and decisive, so this was shocking to me. Opinions can sometimes be helpful, but not when said opinions are being fabricated for profit and for the total manipulation of a woman's psyche. She did not even realize that she was allowed to ignore all of the articles and posts in favor of listening to her own intuition. She was shocked to hear that it was okay to ask herself about her son instead of googling most things. The fear really got to her and made her confidence dwindle. I think this might be happening to a lot of mothers and its really sad. It takes the self-trust and self reliance away from mothers, the stuff that is naturally built up within us through experience with our children.

No. 405647

This + mom groups. I swear to God people will actually try to murder you over small things like swaddling, food or even correctly following car seat safety.

No. 405652

This. Stay away from the online mom groups holy shit. I joined a couple and ended up leaving after I couldn’t handle it anymore. Lolcow has nothing on local mom groups kek.

You put a small stuffed animal in the corner of your baby’s crib? Well you’re now attempting to murder your baby, good going.

No. 405763

The SIDS fear mongering to me is insane, I've seen people act like using a nest while monitoring your baby 100% will give it SIDS somehow. Majority of people fear mongering about SIDS don't even seem to know what it is since it's not the same as suffocation and most babies who die from SIDS have previous issues like prematurity

No. 405773

Isn’t SIDS just the child version of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome aka heart arrhythmia or congenital heart defect? I see scrotes tinfoiling that babies who die from SIDS are all murdered by their moms and that women are evil baby killers.

No. 405799

yeah, there's been a lot of research, "SIDS" is an umbrella term often used when writing an autopsy, can be anything from suffocation (which is rare cases) to unknown illnesses, defects, etc. There's been deeper research finding certain bacterias often causes SIDS and so on.
>I see scrotes tinfoiling that babies who die from SIDS are all murdered by their moms and that women are evil baby killers.
I've definitely seen this too. Also strange they accuse the mom of killing the baby and not dad or other household members. It's like moids purposely look for women in traumatizing situations to kick them down and traumatize them even further, they probably don't even believe half the stuff they say but get off on the idea of a traumatized and scared mother hating herself even more

No. 406674

SIDS is actually more common in babies where they cosleep with an unrelated adult male. so if anything wouldn’t moids be the baby killers?

No. 406907

There was an Australian Mother (Kathleen Megan Folbigg) who was convicted of murdering her 4 infants in the early 00's. It turned out that they all had the same genetic health defect that caused them pass away. She spent 20 years in jail for that.
SIDS is probably mostly out of your control. Obviously you should make sure your baby doesn't accidentally suffocate itself but people take it too far.
Sounds like they diagnosed you with being anxious to me.
If the baby is moving I would think it's fine.
You should take daily stool softeners and drink way way more water.
Well said nonna

No. 406915

True SIDs (not suffocation) is most likely caused by seizures per the latest research. Infantile seizures are most often caused by fever.

No. 406918

>It always makes me sad that religious people are the only ones who seem to care about babies nowadays. Sometimes it feels like everyone else is like pic related.
You think babies are oppressed? In a world where it's legal to kill women if they're pregnant by medically neglecting them? A 2 week old zygote has more rights than you. I swear crunchy moms will only be satisfied when their babies walk them on leashes like dogs!

No. 407008

I’m the anon who mentioned having a 12 year old daughter from a teen pregnancy in the last thread, and planned to have another. Wife and I talked with my daughter, and she was on board 100%, she’s wanted a brother or sister since she was little (but I wasn’t gonna raise two kids that young). My wife decided to carry this one, because my teen pregnancy was more brutal than usual and she doesn’t want me to go through that again. Does anyone have advice about raising kids with such a large age gap? I already know that I’m not gonna parentify her, or expect her to care for the baby like it’s her own, but I don’t really have any experience dealing with such a big age gap.

No. 407050

I don't have kids myself, but my parents decided to have more kids when I was in my teens. My advice would be to try and pay attention to both of the children equally. It's hard when the baby is small and requires a bunch of attention, staying up late for feedings etc but don't forget the older ones needs either! Try to do things with her too, like go to the movies with her or whatever you normally do with her for fun. It's really easy to feel ignored and alone when your parents are (understandably) fussing over a baby 24/7. Reassure her that even though you are busy with the baby, you still love her and she's just as important as the new child. Involve her in taking care of the baby somewhat if she's interested, but if she's not she shouldn't have to imo!

No. 407134

>I’m not gonna parentify her, or expect her to care for the baby like it’s her own
That’s probably the best advice right there. With a large age gap like that, you just have to allow her to be a sibling like any sibling would be. You shouldn’t expect much responsibility between siblings except to make sure they get along to a certain degree and she’s not teaching the littlest inappropriate stuff (language, music, what she watches on tv, etc). And if she wants to be really involved, that’s great and I would let her. I don’t have a large age gap between my two but I know my oldest had a hard time when her brother came. And trying to remind her she wasn’t “replaced” was important. So carving out one on one time with your oldest will also be very important.

No. 407244

File: 1718759465285.jpg (1.69 MB, 2001x2667, what-the-afro-m-837012.jpg)

Is there a way to get sperm from famous people or their descendants? I want to make a test tube baby with the sperm of a famous black historical figure but select its traits so it's as pale as possible so it can have white privilege but still be a proud black woman.(racebaiting weirdo)

No. 407258

PP glow up goals? I birth in august with my second, my goals are
>general weight loss
>skin and hair improvement
>breast lift/reduction
>improve fashion and makeup skills
>lip and eye lift

No. 407379

I think she was just pretending to be dumb

No. 407427

Lmao this is so relatable I'm so sorry and I hope you can have normal poops soon (reminder that breastfeeding means you need like almost 1 liter water MORE than normal) It's almost like babies can literally sense if you leave by your fucking energy field or whatever even when you make absolutely 0 sound. You can lay 2 hours still next to baby and nothing and when you basically just think about getting up: boom, wide open eyes.

No. 407466

i don’t have kids (yet), but i was 14 when my youngest sibling was born and my advice is about the same as the other nonnas. don’t parentify her, of course, but do try to gauge her interest and follow her lead on how much she wants to help care for with the baby. personally, i kind of wish i got to help with my baby siblings more, but it was rarely offered to me. i’d also encourage trying to have something specific and routine that’s just between the two of you and that the baby won’t “get in the way” of, i.e. a weekly movie night, ice cream dates, etc. that goes a long way to show that you’re still putting in a conscious effort to spend 1-on-1 time with her, and might help negate any feelings of being replaced (because even if she’s excited about the baby, she may still feel insecure/jealous at one point or another; i definitely did from time to time).

No. 407854

The only goal I have is to recover well..

No. 408008

File: 1718997922685.jpg (35.69 KB, 500x336, 1583366876030.jpg)

I hate how normal symptoms of pregnancy can also be symptoms of life-threatening or otherwise dangerous conditions (e.g. swelling)

My health anxiety has been rearing its ugly head in the middle of the 2nd trimester. Does anyone have coping mechanisms that helped them manage hypochondria during pregnancy?

No. 408029

I don't want to ever give birth but I absolutely want to raise children/teens. I plan to foster in the future and maybe even adopt if one of them feels close to me enough to want something like that and of course if the conditions are right, court legality and all that I've been a pretty big screw up when I was a teen but I am proud to say I'm getting my shit together well enough that I might actually be on track to providing a safe and nurturing environment for some kid(s) within the next 10 years. I remember going through the system and how awful it felt. I just want to give someone a safe place where they can try to emotionally heal and relax before they age out and have to face the world alone without support. I don't have any instincts for getting pregnant or giving birth but I have a deep burning desire to protect and unconditionally love any child or baby that a friend has so I don't think it would be too hard to emotionally invest in the wellbeing of a revolving cast of kids or teens that need a safehouse for a few months or years. I also really enjoy watching kids develop their own opinions and world views, it's just cool as shit to me seeing a person grow I guess. Maybe that's what a "maternal instinct" actually is? Idk, I just can't wait to foster.

No. 408102

I used to be such a lonely introvert, but having my baby has made me so extroverted and I have finally found a wonderful community of women friends. When I first got pregnant, I was scared of making friends, scared of driving, scared of being out alone, but after meeting some women at my breastfeeding class I have become so much more independent, go on adventures with our babies, and finally understand how amazing female friendships truly are. Helped so much with my Postpartum depression.

No. 408136

If you're worried about the swelling maybe you can buy a blood pressure monitor (one for the arm is best) to keep track yourself and have some peace of mind.

No. 408137

File: 1719033428551.gif (15.84 KB, 220x210, IMG_5378.gif)

Post-Partum hormones making me cry over everything. My baby isn’t even a month old and I’m crying at the idea that one day, she won’t do her newborn scrunch anymore…

No. 408193

""safety"" Nazis who tell you to disregard doctor advice because "it's outdated" are the absolute fucking worse. I see so many people claiming women should work out a week after birth, don't give your kid a single drop of anything but breast milk until 12 MONTHS. Rear face well past the child has maxed out, don't take a single medication while pregnant, not even Tylenol, just don't eat, sleep, shower, etc and if you can't do that shouldn't have had a baby!

Literal fucking insanity, you'd probably find better advice from a plague doctor in a bird mask

No. 408195

Bless nona, I hope the same thing happens with me

No. 408342

I found out i'm pregnant last week and i'm kind of panicking a bit. We wanted a baby in a year or two but not now. At the same time i'm kind of excited.
Anyways, i've been getting so nauseus and tired all the time, I was wondering if any nonnas who had kids before had tips for getting over it? I was pretty active before and I want to continue working out because I read it will do me and the baby a lot of good.

No. 408344

Keep your blood sugar stable. It’s low blood sugar that causes morning sickness. Eat complex carbohydrates and plenty of protein and fat.
And congratulations!

No. 408366

Your so cute nonnie
Comfort yourself by imagining all the new expressions she will learn to do.

No. 408488

Is anyone else concerned about the trend of parents trooning out their kids in how it’ll impact dating in the future? I know it’s probably still a small number, but I look at my baby and wonder how I’d even explain how to navigate this in 15 years or whatever. I imagine kids who have been on blockers/HRT will be much harder to clock as trannies than the moids (and TiFs) we see now. I only currently have a son and it seems these loons usually are trooning out their sons to be “girls,” but I’d worry about it if I had a daughter as well. Such a strange landscape to navigate…

No. 408507

I'm pregnant with my second and thought I'd be used to being a lowkey retarded and hormonal mess, today I sneezed and pissed myself a little on the couch and I started crying from the shame. Nigel did his best saying no one is judging me other than myself but it still its difficult. Much love and power to all pregnant farmers

No. 408508

nothing but breastmilk from 6-12 not obly sounds like a recipe for malnourishing, enjoy getting a basically toddler used to solid foods that can throw them full force at you instead of enjoying a somewhat calm eating experience

No. 408613

I think about this a lot too. What is the best way to even explain it to children? It's not like you can just ignore it because even though it's only a small population, it's literally everywhere. You don't want your child to be ostracized as a "bully" but you don't want them to drink the kool aid so what can a parent do?

No. 408615

it literally is plus the kid just ends up developing allergies for everything. Do these people even actually believe anything they push? it just feels like more of a brag about how they're so much safer than everyone else even though they're hurting their kids

No. 408652

>Anyways, i've been getting so nauseus and tired all the time, I was wondering if any nonnas who had kids before had tips for getting over it?
I don't have advice for nausea, but for tiredness, you'll have to wait until the 1st trimester is over for it to go away. You may have to accept that your movement will be more limited and do what you can with the energy you have, then maybe pick up again once your energy levels do. Definitely don't stress yourself out over it and push yourself too hard; just remember that countless women have been kneecapped by pregnancy symptoms and gave birth to perfectly healthy babies.
In the meantime, enjoy getting the best sleep of your life!
>Do these people even actually believe anything they push?
Many women have killed or permanently disabled their children in pursuit of the uwu crunchy life, so there are either some true believers or people willing to sacrifice their children under social pressure.

No. 408654

I'm more worried about those parents and kids and media sinking their teeth into my child before they develop critical thinking skills or being groomed without me knowing, like those teachers on tiktok who talk about not telling the students parents and even getting the kids on medication without parents knowing.
My husbands sister is tif and idk what to tell the kids once they realize something is wrong with her.

No. 408772

Don’t even worry nonna, every woman who’s been pregnant here has had a meltdown over dumb shit. When I was pregnant, we ran out of my favorite chips, and I cried about it so hard that I threw up and pissed myself. In fact, does anyone else have stories about the stupid shit you cried about while pregnant?

No. 409086

NTA but I cried because kfc didnt put salt on my chips. Plain fried potato is disgusting

No. 409131

Thanks for all the kind replies nonnas X I've been trying to eat more carbs in smaller quantities and the doctor gave me some pills to suck on that are supposed to ease the sickness.
I got folic acid too, does it give anyone else weird dreams? The first time I took it I had a nightmare about my cat and semi hallucinated a hand coming out of the ceiling to grab me.

No. 409188

Oh my god, I thought that was just me!!! Folic acid gives me the trippiest dreams of all time. I had a recurring that my baby was born two inches tall, and I had to carry her around in my pocket and take care of her while she was so tiny. And it only happened after I took prenatal vitamins with folic acid.

No. 409229

File: 1719361020175.jpg (13.18 KB, 258x225, 1522436152580.jpg)

nonnies I have baby fever so bad but feel like I should wait longer… how did you know when you were ready to have a baby? my main concern is financial, nigel and I both work and live comfortably but obviously having a child is such a huge expense (financially and in time too, genuinely don't know how my mom raised me as a full-time working single mother. I couldn't do it) I can't help but worry. But of course the parents/in-laws are pestering for grandchildren and saying we're getting too old kek so maybe we should just do it already

No. 409232

I think if you are in a good relationship with someone with a similar mindset with parenting, stable jobs and a roof over your head, then you should be good. Kids are expensive. Unless you are waiting to randomly become super wealthy, you need to ask yourself if you can support a child right now.

Also, ask your Nigel questions about schooling (preschool, grade school, homeschool), vaccines, breastfeeding/ formula, etc etc. I thought me and my ex were on the same page when it came to parenting and it turned out we were total opposite. I had to fight tooth and nail over dumb shit that I never thought I would have to fight for.

No. 409373

If you live comfortably right now then it sounds like you're in a good position for it so long as your relationship with your nigel is also stable. Unless you decide to stay at home or choose a less strenuous career path then your income will probably grow as the kid does and you won't feel a huge financial strain forever.

No. 409648

it's NEVER perfect and honestly if you and your nigel are both hardworking, honest and reliable people you can risk it imo. When I got pregnant with our first we were together 1.5years, he was living with his Dad and didn't even have a license or a job in a different country than me and I was on the brink of getting fired from my not even fulltime job. Now fast forward 2 years later, he found a good job I can be a SAHM, we live in a nice apartment together and I'm pregnant with second. Have the right mindset and willingness to make it work and you will. No point in waiting too late

No. 409651

They don't tell you about the scary parts of parenting (toddler keeps pointing to the empty hallway asking 'who's that')

No. 409662

I went and got a 3d ultrasound today and oh my god nonnas my baby is so cute.
I'm so glad I spent the money on it.
So so happy seeing him, his chubby cheeks already, his little nose. My love has skyrocketed.

No. 409666

Did you ask what they're pointing at? Sorry that your house is hainted nonnie.

No. 409698

She just repeated it, kept pointing and asking. Guess I'll burn some sage or something kek

No. 409892

I am two weeks from my due date and I can’t wait to get her out of me. The closer I get, the more I think “fuck, I’m gonna have to push her out the way she came in”

No. 410008

I'm 30 weeks and I'm thinking the exact same thing nona. Whew its gonna be a fun few days around laboring. I hope it goes well for you!

No. 410176

File: 1719610626857.jpeg (415.43 KB, 1242x765, IMG_5526.jpeg)


No. 410179

Its literally absolutely the worst thing possible. I try to make them uncomfortable and say I'm not pregnant, just bloated and fat - hope this helps at least somewhat to punish these freaks

No. 410288

As I was bouncing my 6 month old to sleep on the yoga ball in the dark he suddenly looks up at the ceiling and belly laughs. Tracks to another part of the ceiling and laughs again. Repeated this 3x before I ran to another room, turned the lights on and said fuck your nap.

No. 410291

Maybe it was a nice ghost/spirit/fairy/orb if the baby was laughing.

No. 410317

Wtf, does this really happen? That sounds awful. I can't imagine how anyone thinks this isn't an invasion of privacy and personal space.

No. 410806

I thought this only happened to idiots, now I'm the idiot. I'm 6 months pp and pregnant. Got my period back at 3 months pp, had two of them and my third was late. 99% sure I ovulated around CD 12, started getting period cramps at about CD 30 but no period so I tested at CD36 - it was negative. Waited another 10 days to test again when I started getting nauseous and its fucking positive. I don't know how it happened, we were careful around ovulation and had risky sex when I started getting my "period" cramps and thought menstruation was imminent, which could have been implantation cramps I guess. I don't know if I just ovulated really late, around the time I usually get my period, or if we somehow conceived around my usual ovulation and the test didn't pick it up yet. Realistically I could be around 4 weeks or 6 weeks. Last time I got a positive before even missing my period. It took us a couple of months of actively trying to get pregnanct for our first, I know you're fertile after birth but this is ridiculous. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm already taking a year of absence from my postgraduate studies for my firstborn, what the fuck am I going to do now? I doubt my supervisor or bursary funders are going to be very understanding. I'm doing a science degree so I literally can't be in the lab while pregnant. My firstborn is a really difficult baby, we have no family near us, my husband is in a panic. I'm so scared my milk will dry up, I really wanted to BF him until 2 years. I had zero energy during my pregnancy and my labour was so difficult, I don't know how to do this again. But I can't get rid of a baby (no matter how early it may be), its just not in me. I know I'll love them so much, but fucking hell there's only going to be like a 15 month gap. I wanted my firstborn to be the baby for a while, to enjoy him without these worries. And its all so embarassing, this feels almost like a teenage pregnancy? We're educated, around our 30s, understand how to avoid pregnancy, so how did we fuck up so badly?

No. 410812

>understands how to avoid pregnancy
>has unprotected sex
>becomes pregnant
>I thought this only happened to idiots!?
not at all calling you an idiot but KEK, c’mon anon. Complications aren’t 100% guaranteed though and if it’s what you want, you’re best to go ahead positively. You should probably figure out a course of how you’ll return with your colleagues now, given the new circumstances, so it isn’t a mystery problem later.

No. 410818

Lol nona you can it's fine! What I meant was though that we'd been cycle tracking and been cautious for years and it worked, I know its not fool proof (obviously), and I knew it was likely less effective post partum but not THIS ineffective.

No. 410833

I’ve never wanted kids but ugh lately I’ve been thinking like.. what if I just had one but then everyone tells you an only child will grow up to be super weird. But I absolutely could not handle more than one, tbh I really don’t think I could handle one at all. When I imagine having a baby it’s always a girl and I always imagine what I would name her and birthday parties and things like that. But what if I ended up with a boy or twins? I can’t take that chance. No way.

No. 410899

I am going baby crazy. I want to have a child (more like 3) with my Nigel so bad. He found it funny at first how serious I was but now he's baby crazy too. We have a lot to do before we have children that we have discussed e.g. move countries, get married etc. I don't know how to deal with the waiting. His brother's wife is pregnant and I keep feeling so jealous especially when I'm ovulating. Anyone else in this situation? How do you cope?

No. 410920

I was thinking of being a single mother by choice in the future through sperm donation. I've been doing a lot of reading about it since and it's just made me depressed. People say you shouldn't even attempt it unless you make high six figures and have flexible hours. I worry I'm never going to be able to afford having kids on my own. Then on top of that single mothers are hated so much right now, they're always blamed for causing crime and creating incels and basically every issue in society. At the same time I don't know how I could ever find someone who actually wants children with me. I feel totally helpless and so jealous and people around me having families.

No. 410921

Most moids who seethe about single mothers weren't even raised by one, they're just lashing out because their dads are emotionally neglectful so they think they know what it's "like." Either that or they're just angry divorced deadbeats.

No. 410941

I say go ahead, Kids aren't as expensive as people say unless you're actually throwing out loads of money left and right for little things like lulu lemon, every sport known to man, etc
>Then on top of that single mothers are hated so much right now, they're always blamed for causing crime and creating incels and basically every issue in society.
People who have hate boners for single moms aren't exactly very intelligent, they just see a mom and kid without a father in the moment and assume she's a single mom, and because they assumed she was a single mom it's clearly because she was getting gang banged by thugs daily and no other reason! kek I see married women get mistaken for single moms all the time and moids throw tantrums over it just cause she dare leave her house without her husband as if this was saudi arabia or something

No. 410962

Just make sure that you're pregnant with a girl. Men become incels regardless if they were raised by single moms or in a nuclear family. They're just defective.

No. 411047

I hate the mommy and me group I’m in. When I mention that I only have a daughter, these boymoms just pity me, they think my life is miserable without a son. But I think I was meant to be a girl mom. I love my daughter so much, I don’t think I could ever love a boy baby as much as I love her. Which is good, because she’s the last baby I plan on having.

I’m actually a single mother through sperm donation. Not really by choice, my fiancé and I broke up about 6 months into the pregnancy, and she decided to bail on everything. I can’t speak on it as a whole, but it really only seems like boys from single moms turn out like that. Girls from single moms are a lot more adjusted, at least from what I’ve seen

No. 411083

I’m less worried about the finances and more about the fact that sperm banks are known to be extremely shady and it’s not uncommon that your child may have 500+ half-siblings because they don’t actually screen for congenital conditions or limit how much a single donor can jizz into a cup. They’ve also been known to straight up lie about donors.

No. 411151

I'm an only child and I'm normal nona lol

No. 411232

It's because moids lack accountability. Once the world started treating moids having a single mom as a free pass to act out it's exactly what happened

No. 411357

I have this concern too, and I don't have any men in my life that I would feel comfortable asking to be a donor for me. I've thought about embryo adoption for the reason that it might limit the amount of siblings my child has, but most embryo adoption organizations are run by extreme Christians and don't allow single women to receive embryos anyway.

No. 411359

I have to take my baby on both an airplane, and a long train ride this week. She’s 4 months old. Are there any tips for bringing her to these places? I’ve never traveled far with her before, and I’m terrified of being the mom with a baby who won’t stop crying.

No. 411371

File: 1720031325383.jpg (179.55 KB, 1006x1196, 5220cbb1-828a-4cbf-bd91-1f3f3b…)

We need to tar and feather the corpse of whichever shit for brains started the idea that women should wear dresses. And the one who came up with the idea that parenting is women's work, that is also bullshit. Both parents need to be involved!

I stocked up on cute dresses during pregnancy because my fetus would get upset when I wore jeans but now that my fetus is nearing toddlehood I realize that the optimal mommy outfit is a baggy oversized shirt, leggings and sneakers. All the e-tradwives with perfect hair and floofy dresses are larpers with no kids.

No. 411379

File: 1720033379879.jpg (49.33 KB, 640x636, c9d.jpg)

4chan trad memes get funnier after you give birth. They're so disconnected from reality.

- How does she have the time to make meals and be active while taking care of a newborn?

-How does she have the time to homeschool her kids on top of all the other chores while caring for a newborn?

-How does she still look like an Instagram model after birthing and parenting several kids? Her genes must be top tier, it's very common to gain weight during pregnancy and there's no time to do your hair when you need to go take care of a baby.

-the incels making these memes think women with no makeup are ugly

And then there's the insane racism. It's good that whoever made this will never have sex because they would have a panic attack if they became a parent.

No. 411380

Lol the woman on the left looks like stanzi.

No. 411416

Nightlight.org allows single women!

No. 411463

as usual, men are clueless about how much work raising children is, especially boys.
my sister is regretting her choice to go tradwife and finally enrolled my nephew into preschool. she only has ONE child and she's always stressed out. she rarely cooks food, it's either ubereats or a microwave meal because if she loses track of my nephew for 30 seconds, the little shit will somersault into the tv or do something equally stupid and destructive.
my sister complains about losing her figure all the time. before having her son, she was a size 0 and has since gone up to 4. far from obese, but it really impacted her self-esteem. part of the reason why she finally enrolled him in school is so she can go back to the gym again.

No. 411473

Moids don't know women do they? it's tatted up alt women who are getting married, popping out kids before 30, sewing all clothes, cooking all meals, etc. the "goodie church girl" type women who wait til their 30s and focus on their career (as they should) before getting serious.

No. 411474

My 2 year old just got diagnosed with autism. Guess she’s more like me than I expected kek. It doesn’t look like the full blown retard autism, but she’s got a few developmental delays that are gonna make her slower than other kids. For example, she can speak, but only in 2-3 word sentences (“give water” and “mommy, need fruit”). I’m shocked that I didn’t notice her symptoms earlier, because she acts exactly the same way I did as a baby, and I’m super autistic

No. 411483

>It's good that whoever made this will never have sex because they would have a panic attack if they became a parent.
Unfortunately since it's men making those things, they will never have a moment of understanding even if they do have kids - they will just enforce these expectations on their wife and blame her if she doesn't stay skinny/feminine after giving birth.

No. 411624

I posted in vent but it's relevant here.
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and took some nice photos of my husband and I. I posted one on my Facebook to update my family and I finally got the meme question of "are you sure there's not 2 in there?".
Logically I know it shouldn't hurt my feelings but it has. I don't know what to reply to it.
It makes me not want to update the rest of the family on the pregnancy at all. I don't know how much is just hormones. Sad.
It's my grandma who wrote it and it isn't the first time she's made odd comments here or there to neg me. It's really disappointing.

No. 411701

Those women have a brain infection, pay them no mind.

No. 411704

The quality of donors at sperm banks, even if they're not straight up lying about them, is abysmally low to begin with. They're all old and typically unattractive. There have to be some sperm banks that operate based on actual genetic quality though.

No. 411747

Yes but then you’d be breeding for narcissism.

No. 411773

You'd be breeding for narcissism by using a regular sperm bank, except the narcissists will be fug. The very idea of sperm donation self-selects for donors who by default have an inflated idea of their worth and think their mid genes are a gift to the world.

No. 411779

After reading about that one sperm bank that sold 50 IQ Somalian sperm and lied about who the donor was I would only trust someone I knew in real life to do it and verify it.

No. 411782

I'll never forget that one white lesbian couple that were given a black man's sperm by "mistake". They got laughed out of the courtroom because it's "racist" to care about negligence, and ridiculed ceaselessly in the press for years. Because of this case it's virtually impossible to hold a sperm bank accountable for doing anything, they could give you retard cancer sperm and the judge's response would be "are you calling your baby a mistake?"

No. 412011

im thinking about having children at some point in my thirties when im more established and earning twice. but the thing is i'd prefer to be a single mom and have a baby via IVF or something. dating has been hard for me and i realized men piss me the fuck off too much.

No. 412169

I hate the idea that c-sections are some kind of cheap, easy way out for women giving birth, because they are absolutely not. That incision is extremely deep, and it’s hard to care for the wound while also caring for a newborn. I think the traddies like to just brag about how they can do it the natural way.

No. 412177

Not a mom, but I agree. The recovery for c sections seems way worse than vaginal births. Its like people forget it's a surgical procedure, not magically removing the baby from your body.

No. 412755

File: 1720414536182.jpg (233.89 KB, 576x864, Elon_Musk.jpg)

Why are there no sperm banks with confirmed high achiever sperm? There's plenty of successful men out there like pic related who want to spread their genes without having to raise their kids. This seems like a big hole in the market.

No. 412758

Post paid for by Elon Musk

No. 413085

Elons swimmers don't work. He needs IVF to get women pregnant each time. Imagine having to pay for something most humans can do naturally. I don't want that shit in my gene pool

No. 413086

This but with anything really. Formula feeding, working vs staying at home, etc. regardless of what women do as mothers you'll be labeled as lazy, not trying hard enough, doing something wrong, etc

No. 413089

>high achiever
This isn't of value when it comes to offspring unless the moid is providing for his children. How does having money or social status help with the quality of sperm? We need beautiful and healthly men to donate, not greasy dumpy pigs like Elon.

No. 413538

If you can't tolerate (?) even any man in the world, please do not have a child. If you can't be with an adult who loves you, how you're going to be able to do the self sacrifices needed to be with a small child and then bigger child etc. You're not just buying a baby you're dedicating at least two decades of your life to raise a full human being. These selfish posts of "I'll just buy a baby as accessory to my life" are just plain awful. You're no different from those gay scrotes that exploit some poor women w surrogacy.
Not to mention the fact that a child needs both a mother and a father in order to thrive.

No. 413539

File: 1720675259327.png (24.74 KB, 383x132, conclusion.png)

No. 413553

Lmao you’re not being very subtle.

No. 413555

Yeah it's bait to point out if you dont have the patience to deal with an adult you're gonna deal with nightly blowouts, toddler tantrums, and later hearing by your teen that they hate you etc just perfectly fine. Tired of this modern day cringe meme idea to act like having kids is like getting a fucking pet.

No. 413573

Noooo, you have to have a man living in your house, then you get all of the above plus stumbling on Nigel’s CP stash someday nooooooo

No. 413575

Men who fucking hate women have babies all the time. Shut the fuck up pickme whore.

No. 413577

Husband =/= kids, it's really not hard to understand.

No. 413600

Have any anons here done egg freezing?

No. 413835

Nta but as someone with 3 under 2 I'd rather deal with toddlers and kids than most moids kek

No. 413895

File: 1720760504200.jpg (76.17 KB, 700x700, eb9b9b009940ec1bb99c5f62800ca2…)

Since it seems to be the topic of discussion right now, I do honestly think that two parent households are super important for children but I disagree that it has to be a man. It's probably just me projecting because I only had one active parent who was abusive towards me, but I think it's important to have two parents. Especially so they have one to lean on if the other becomes unreliable. Not to mention it's beneficial, mentally and emotionally, for the actual parents (IF your partner is good) because dividing the childrearing takes a lot of pressure off, opposed to being a single parent. It's not about having a male figure though, it can be a male or female as long as they're a good partner and parent.
Another thought, I see a lot of discussions on social media these days of people emphasizing the importance of a having a village to help you raise your child. I honestly can see things like co-parenting with friends becoming more popular in the near future for those who are single mothers or don't want a romantic relationship.

No. 413967

Agreed. People also like to assume just cause the father is "there" doesn't mean he's present. They praise men for being workaholics (in situations that it's unnecessary), they praise men for going out with friends every weekend because "he deserves it" but treat women like they're feeding their kids to wolves if they go out once a month, if he goes back to school or to the gym it's great that he's improving himself but mom shouldn't be a narcissist if she does the same. Women are conditioned to put children above everything. If it were more common, id like to see a comparison on how children are raised in a mommune as compared to a nuclear family

No. 414163

Related but I hate the amount of Americans I see advocating against proper pain relief during and after birth, especially for c sections. I see so many American women brag about how "I just took an ibuprofen, returned to work and did everything myself 4 days later and I was fine!" Like ??? Fucking excuse me? Only Americans would be this fucking retarded to try to shut down discussions to IMPROVE postpartum care holy shit

No. 414275

Hey nonas excuse the newfag here (don't know if I should sage this) but I'm coming here for some advice on just knowing when you're ready to have kids really, I'm 24 and I've said I deffo want kids before reaching 40 (my mum had my younger sibling at 40 and I could never poor kid) but like when do I know I'm ready coz everyone I've ever met just says "you'll just know" and I just don't buy that. Anyway before I ramble too much any help and advice would be amazing and thank you in advance nonas

No. 414296

I guess it's different for the person but I would've had a child already if I was financially stable, owned a house, and had a partner who shared my values on parenting. Some women I know have said it took them until they were in their 30s to even want children but for me personally, I have always loved being around kids and dreamed of having a family. Unfortunately I fucked up my life by being a shut-in NEET for years and who knows if it will ever happen.

No. 414356

I feel that, I got dealt a really bad hand in life meaning only now am I getting my life somewhat togther (I won't go into it obvi) but like I'm just so scared that time is running out for me to have them. Then my boyfriend isn't even decided on them either at least that's the side of him flipping back and forth about it. I just don't wanna be 50 with a 10 year old esspecially seeing it with my mum and younger sibling

No. 414368

I personally would be really suspicious of anyone who's "undecided" on kids. I really don't think anyone should have children unless they really want them and are ready to make all the necessary sacrifices it entails. Dads that are just along for the ride are going to be the ones that don't pull their weight and be reminiscing constantly on how great their life was before kids. Anyway, I'm at a similar age to you and I've thought before about freezing my eggs because I've heard it's best to do that while you're still young, but as of right now I just can't afford it.

No. 414387

Yeah obviously I'm not gonna have kids with this man unless he's decided he wants them and if not guess no kids for me I just wish he would make his mind up so we can be on the same page about it i just wanna know what to expect of our future coz like i see myself marrying this man (hes somehow a good one among the moids). And yeah same boat not enough money to freeze any eggs if I wanted to.

No. 414489

>severe tachycardia
>Expected to work and take care of a toddler despite the fact I feel like I'm having a heart attack for standing up for more than 5 minutes
"That's normal and we can't give you anything for it"
>Acid reflux, can't sleep, severe pain and can't eat
"That's normal just take time"
>Severe migraines, can't feel comfortable for the life of me
"That's normal"

I swear to God I can be in a grave and they'd say "that's normal". Why do women even do this multiple times with such awful healthcare?

No. 414497

Don't wait around for a man. Try to find someone who does feel ready to have children in the near future. One of my biggest regrets in my life is wasting so many years in dead-end relationships when I could've found someone to build a real future with.

No. 414520

Tbf im not ready to have kids for a few years yet, not gonna go into details but I'm planning on going back to school after life shit and I have a bad past with men so my boyfriend is honestly a sait by comparison. I have a couple years at least before I'd be ready myself like I'm not in a rush I just wanna have at least 1 before I'm 40 idealy 2 but we will see what life brings I guess. I just wanna know how people know they're actually ready, idk if I'm making sense

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