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File: 1489546672286.jpg (51.22 KB, 800x496, c.jpg)

No. 56468

i know there's some kind of lgbt thread on here already, but bisexuality is always the one that gets the least focused attention. It's also probably the one that is taken least seriously in a way, because of so many attention seekers who fake it, and the fact that there are actually people who can't wrap their heads around it being an actual thing??

I'm like perfectly 50/50 bisexual. i have this huge, equal thirst for both body forms. (not to be confused with pansexuality, i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females)

discuss?

No. 56471

>>56468
>i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females

Honest question about that, isn't everyone a biological male or female? I guess some are somewhat ambiguous (intersexed) but for the most part if you're attracted to both sexes I don't get why you wouldn't be attracted to trans people or whatever.
I never got the distinction between pan or bi for that reason, I'm not a trans apologist or anything I'm pretty much a TERF just curious.

No. 56472

I think you're probably right. There certainly is little to no media attention, and just as you have mentioned, I have heard of it being faked for attention. What is your experience? Do people take you seriously?

No. 56474

i feel like i might be attracted to women sometimes but i just like men so much more so i hesitate in labeling myself with "bisexual" im not totally repulsed by the thought of dating or having sex with a woman but i dont think ill know unless i do it
not really interested in trans people

No. 56479

>>56474
I'm the same way, anon. I've definitely found women sexually and romantically attractive (come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I was aroused by women's bodies before men's) but my attraction to men is so much stronger I almost feel like I'd be leading people on if I said I was bi.

>>56471
I think the "pan" thing comes down to genitals I guess? Like you're into dudes with dicks and chicks with vaginas. It's kind of how I feel. If I were to go home with someone like pic related who passes extremely well as a man and then I found out they had a vagina, I feel like I'd probably be put off from having sex with them. It makes me feel like an asshole tbh.

No. 56480

File: 1489554362228.jpg (59.91 KB, 634x634, 2E88889C00000578-3322409-image…)

>>56479
dropped the picture, sorry

No. 56493

File: 1489598080695.gif (497.26 KB, 500x281, tumblr_mpcwl9Ndul1sodj7bo2_500…)

>i'm talking about only being attracted to biological males and females

That's not bisexuality then. Pansexuality is just something tumblr invented because they think bisexuals exclude trans people, but we don't. I find it really insulting that they decided to tell us what are sexuality is? We're attracted to people regardless of gender/genitals.


That aside, I'm glad there's a thread on bisexuality because it seems a lot of anons are bisexual. I do believe we're underrepresented in the media and because of that people spread all these horrible myths about us which just aren't true.

Gif is of my favourite, very openly bisexual actresss <3

No. 56494

I'm bisexual…I think? I'm mostly attracted to guys, but I'm definitely attracted to women and I have had several crushes on them. But the most I've done with a girl is kissing and childhood experimentation.

I would never tell anyone though, especially not a male partner. I feel like they would expect threesomes, and I am not into that.

No. 56495

>>56493
THANK YOU
I looked up today pan vs bi and what the difference is, there's literally none, it's just a more snowflaky sounding name

The older I am the more secure I am into my sexuality. I still (very very slightly) regret not experimenting with the same sex but it's okay because I'm happy with my current partner. My parents didn't really care when I came out to them, in fact my mother, who is more on the "old fashioned" side of seeing things sounded somewhat happy to hear it lol

I just wish people would take us more serious and actually acknowledge us. A lot of people seem to think less of our opinion because we're "only half gay/straight". Same thing with the media - gay or straight. Nothing else.

A year or two ago one of my favorite companies released a game where one of the main characters is bi. It's canon, confirmed by their official blog a d on the wiki. Yet people STILL decided that the character HAS to be gay. Or straight. Still bugs the shit out of me. I want more representation for us in games, too.

No. 56496

File: 1489601676987.jpg (169.8 KB, 500x747, tumblr_nwus3nd5gn1r5x742o1_500…)

I'm bisexual. And biromantic. I hate to have to say I'm also biromantic, but people like labels, and unfortunately, somehow most bi women I know IRL are only bi if they want to fool around/have sex every once in a while/experiment with other girls. So I kinda feel that I have to explain I'm not only into girls when I want fun sex or a hook-up, but that I also get romantically involved with them. It sucks, man. I agree with the other anon who talked about myths being untrue (we're overtly sexual, it's just a phase, people grow out of it, etc), but I do feel nervous when I develop feelings for a bi girl because I think she may leave me for a dude… Because it's happened before. Same with my best friend as well (a lesbian). I hate to say this but we've become wary of some "bi" girls… It's like you get super involved and in love with them just to get dumped when a man shows up. Yeah, I know not everyone is like this and I'm definitely not like this, and maybe you're not like this either, but this is my story and what I've seen.

No. 56498

File: 1489602036188.gif (466.45 KB, 400x222, tumblr_nu02jdGQak1sjc5sqo1_400…)

>>56468
I'm bisexual. I guess. I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more into women. In fact, pretty much the only guys I'm into are anime and video game characters. The last time I had a crush on a guy irl was years ago. But women are so much prettier and easier to fall in love with.
I wish it was the opposite. Getting into a straight relationship is easy, but finding other women into women is pretty much impossible here.

No. 56499

>>56496
Of course it can happen, no doubt. But I think it's somewhat unfair that people attach this only to bi people? No one's exactly stopping a gay person from doing the same thing?

No. 56501

File: 1489602641270.gif (939.12 KB, 500x250, tumblr_mrxx6jIBWv1szgqtlo1_500…)

>>56495
I think I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm in a very happy, long-term relationship with a man but I really regret not taking it further with women. I definitely think I'm more attracted to women; they're more thoughtful, beautiful, sensual, kind…just better lovers overall. It seems that most bisexuals/asexuals/w.e lean towards dating women too.

But yeah I can't deny that I would have fallen in love with anyone regardless of gender/sex and that's how I met my current boyfriend. I love being able to look past silly things and see the beautiful soul beneath.

No. 56502

>>56496
The girls you met were not bi, bisexual doesn't mean you're a sexual deviant. The girls you were with were likely straight and experimenting. It's really unfortunate that you had to deal with that and that there are idiots out there identifying as bi when they're not (thus making the rest of us look bad).

No. 56507

>>56493
Lol WRONG. I'm not attracted to trans people, etc. at all (i'm not transphobic tho). I am only sexually/romantically attracted to cis people of both genders. How is that not bisexual? What's it called then? to be sexually and romantically attracted to cis men and cis women, but not transgenders, transvestites, etc.?

if people like me exist, and people like you exist, then bi vs. pan is a real thing, not something invented by tumblr.

No. 56512

>>56499
Yes, definitely, it can happen to anyone regardless of sexual orientation, but most of the time who does that type of shit are 'bi' women. Maybe reality is just like >>56502 explained.
Many lesbians don't even want to date bi girls anymore because of this.
they were probably just experimenting, calling themselves bisexual and giving "actual" bi women a bad name (i typed actual between " because in the end who's to judge one's sexuality? I shouldn't. i'm doing it, but i know i shouldn't. still, of course i'm gonna judge someone who says they looove pussy and their current gf but dump them as soon as they get a D – more than once! it's hard to take them seriously)

just sharing two links related to the topic. they're not really serious, but if you're in a similar situation they may help:

https://www.quora.com/How-common-is-it-for-lesbians-to-refuse-to-date-a-woman-only-because-she-is-bisexual

https://consciousgirlfriend.com/help-always-fall-bi-women-leave-men/

https://bifurious.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/but-youll-leave-me-for-men-or-dont-make-your-penis-envy-my-problem/

No. 56514

>>56512
from one of said links. i couldve written this myself because its exatcly how i think, unfortunately:


Jason Gauthier, Aspiring Solicitor
Written 4 Jun 2014
I have had this discussion with one lesbian. Her view is that most bisexual girls are just straight girls with daddy issues.

This is similar to the prevalent view among straight women that most bisexual men are really gay.

If you're bisexual, (a lot of) women will always assume you're really interested in men.

Gay men, on the other hand, assume bisexual men are primarily interested in them.

Straight men, assume bisexual woman are primarily interested in them too.

This might speak to the relative states of self-confidence of each sex.

No. 56517

>>56495
Pansexual is not just a word some random on tumblr invented for their bio. pansexual is a real thing totally apart from bisexuality that you can find in all of the official English dictionaries, like Oxford and Collins. And it exists for a reason, to differentiate between people who are attracted to men and women (bisexual) from people who are in addition attracted to non-cis gender identities, which is a whole separate thing. Please don't spew ignorance just because you googled "pan vs bi" and probably read an unreliable source that didn't explain it properly. They are not the same thing, and they are not interchangeable.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/bisexual
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/pansexual

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/bisexual
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/pansexual

No. 56526

>>56507
but then isn't pansexuality itself oppressive? It's fetishizing trans people, by denying that trans people aren't male and female, like they want to be, and instead put them in their own category - or what?

Bi always just meant men or women, not "oh, I'm a male pansexual because my girlfriend has SWYER syndrome, so she's not actually cis." ??

No. 56527

>>56526
I guess I had a stroke at the end and deleted half of my sentence at the end there.

Bi always meant men or women, not anything else to me. I don't see why someone feels the need to categorize their sexuality that much further, as to differentiate between androgynous people, intersex people, or trans people - seems dehumanizing to me, since I have an intersex condition. My husband is straight, not pan - see how silly this sentence reads? -> continue "on, I'm a male pansexual…"

No. 56529

File: 1489626247131.gif (491.22 KB, 500x281, tumblr_inline_mygu70T8hL1qc326…)

Pansexuality isn't a new concept but it's only really been brought into fashion recently. I'm not going to label myself with a fashionable sexuality. I've been calling myself bisexual for years and I'm comfortable with it, I don't need to change because some trans people on tumblr are screaming to change the definition of my sexuality.

Traditionally, the word "bisexual" has been used for what people are describing above. Promoting the idea of "pansexuality" is disrespectful towards bisexuals imo as it assumes that NO bisexuals are attracted to trans people (while in my experience talking to other bisexuals, is not true). If you're not, you could state that you're trans-exclusive if it's that big of a deal to you, but even that doesn't make sense to me. If you're attracted to men and women, their genitals and appearance matching shouldn't be an issue because it's implied you like BOTH.

I think all these tumblr trans trenders are annoying but it's silly to assume you're not attracted to any of them based on your experience of tumblrinas. I know plenty of normal trans people irl who are lovely and I've definitely crushed on some of them. It's different when you know someone in real life and you're familiar with their personality.

At the end of the day, I don't like people telling bisexuals what exactly their sexuality is (when it's theirs to define for themselves) and forcing another label upon them. There are enough myths about us and we get enough hate from both straight and LGBT circles so let's not force this silly "pansexual" thing.

No. 56530

>bi thread
>pan discourse
lmao

No. 56541

>>56529
>genitals shouldn't matter

Yeah nah, girl. I support trans people, but I would not be totally indifferent to genitals.

No. 56544

>>56543
I've seen some very normal looking post up vaginas, but i feel sorry for the FTM crowd. Can they even actually get a penis? That works?

No. 56560

>>56558
Still feel sorry for them.

back on topic I would like to say though, I'm not really feeling all this abloobloo poor us bisexuals not getting talked about stuff. Honestly, most of us, unless single, will pass for either gay or straight either way and I honestly don't feel like we're being oppressed in any way. with all the weird shit people want normalized today, like being space gender or whatever, being bisexual is like being agnostic. you tell people and they 9/10 times go "oh, aight, so what's for dinner"

I can't speak for every bisexual person ofc, but that's just my personal opinion. We're fine.

No. 56568

>>56543
I wasn't talking about transsexuals, just transgenders. I personally think mutilating bodies is gross.

No. 56573

>>56468
I'm bi but basically a virgin with girls. Not that I had many male partners so the math adds up, as about 3% of the female population is gay.

I feel bad for calling myself bi when all I did was slightly fool around but never had proper sex or a relationship with a girl. Still I like girls in a different way than men but it just seems so hard to get in a relationship with one (it's already hard as it is with men and it's way easier to tell when one is interested, or potentially interested).

I went about 3 years with no sex/no relationship after my first breakup and I'm not even considered ugly so Idk what to do, or how to do it. I tried online dating, I tried hanging out in gay bars. I just look at women in the streets and wish they were as much gay women as straight ones bc holy hell it's HARD.

>>56544
FTM are really shit out of luck for now, I hope we find a way to make real or cyborg dicks in the future :( Though I'd be down to date a ftm if they still had their vagina

No. 56590

I get turned on by girls sexually and I masturbate to lesbian porn and pics of naked girls but I'm not really into girls romantically. I can only picture myself with like a super butch girl but hot non-sjw butches are rare and I can't be fucked coming out to my family so why bother?

No. 56591

>>56590
Then don't I guess what's the point unless you're actually in a relationship with another girl? Why do you need to come out ?

No. 56592

I don't disagree that biphobia is a problem but it's mostly just misconceptions not "hatred". It's totally different from homophobia.

For example.. people hate lesbians not because they like women, the problem is that they don't like men.

And I guess at least bisexuals have a bit of a choice and that riles some peoples' jimmies too. Or those that are like married with the opposite sex and monogamous who feel oppressed for some reason like they should get a cookie for liking the same sex but getting all the privileges of straight people…

No. 56593

Essentially my problem with the "biphobia" movement is the people who are in heterosexual relationships but feel "opressed" because their same-sex attraction isn't acknowledged. Why is that anyone's business except your partner?
Basically they want the label of a victim (homosexual discrimination) but they don't actually suffer from it, in fact they benefit from being in a straight relationship. It's a bit of a slap in the face for people in gay relationships.

No. 56595

>>56591
I don't need to come out, I was trying to say that's why I avoid lesbian relationships.

No. 56596

>>56595
Sorry, I misunderstood. Yeah I get how that could be shitty.

No. 56600

>>56593
I'm not sure if I got this right since English isn't my first language and I suck at making structured sentences but here it goes.
The reason people feel "discriminated" against is because they don't want people to think they're straight, because they're not. There probably are idiots who want to play "victim" but others don't want to be reduced to being "just straight" or to be told their opinions don't matter in the community simply because they're in a het relationship. Bisexuals who are in hetero relationships aren't straight. Sure, they don't get the same shit as gay people, obviously, but you can't really deny the fact that they're not straight.

(I feel like I just wrote the same sentence 3 times fml)

No. 56605

>>56600
I'm bi and this is exactly how I feel.
The problem isn't that I feel discriminated against because people don't know I also like pussy, it's that gay people treat me completely straight. I get that my experiences are different to that of a gay person, but they're not straight experiences either. They don't go away just because I'm dating a guy.
I don't want any special treatment, I just want it to be acknowledged that I'm not straight, but it feels like bi people are seen more as allies than members of the lgbt+ menagerie

No. 56610

>>56593
Yeah, I don't think you understand. From my personal experience, I've been left out of LGBT meet-ups, nights out, groups because the LGT people I know don't believe in bisexuality (like straight up just don't believe it's real). I've had lesbians tell me that they could never date me because I've been with a man before. My LGT friends will constantly refer to me as "straight" despite me correcting them every single time and when they make jokes/gossip about straight people, then look in my direction like I'm supposed to react negatively. They'll purposefully bring up a topic related to LGBT issues, turn to me and say "Sorry, we'll wait until you're gone". The friends of someone I was dating asked her to break up with me because I was "going to leave her for a man" one day. When I was going out with women, I was essentially praised by my LGT friends "omg so proud of youuu~!" but the moment I started dating a man they instantly reverted back to calling me "straight". My mother told me that I was not welcome in our house anymore if I turned out to be a lesbian but despite that, straight people have actually been kinder and more respectful towards me than the community I'm supposedly a part of.

It's a little more than "boo hoo why won't people recognize my sexuality!" It's about feeling isolated and repeatedly having people disrespect you. It's about people in the LGBT community blatantly spreading lies about us (which are the same lies homophobes spread about gay people, ironically "They can choose their sexuality!" "It's just a phase!" "They're dirty!" "They're faking it for attention!" I guess the bullied can't help but become bullies themselves :)) Can't imagine what these people said behind my back if this is the kind of stuff they said to my face.

The fact is that bisexuals get hate from both sides because straight people think we're gay and gay people think we're straight. For some reason, there are people who can't imagine that someone can be both. We don't feel welcome anywhere.

No. 56611

>>56600
I like the way you think, anon. I've never had a same-sex relationship and I've never bothered telling my partners I'm bi because it would create an overhead at times. It was not denial tho, if people would ask me, I would tell them what I am right away!

The relationships never quite look like an average straight one and I never managed to keep one for as long as a few months. Maybe that's one of the reasons heheh

No. 56615

I'm 21, in a great relationship with a man, but I crave women sometimes. Is this normal?

I've never felt this way before and it makes me feel guilty/confused.

No. 56616

>>56615
It's totally fine and you shouldn't feel guilty for experiencing attraction to other people either male or female, it's not like our ability to be attracted to various people disappears when we are in a good relationship. It's just a matter of staying faithful and so as long as you aren't going and fooling around with women behind his back, then you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about.

No. 56618

Im bi in a straight relationship, so everyone assumes im straight. I dont mind it and i dont mention my sexuality unless someone directly asks. The amount of shit bisexuals get from both gays and straight people makes me a little ashamed of my own sexuality, i feel like people assume im unfaithful/pretending to be bi for attention/whatever so its easier to just pass as straight.
But its not a big deal to me, i dont feel like my sexuality defines me in any way and i dont really get why people make such a huge deal about their sexualities ever. But eh, ive always been a little disinterested in sex in general so maybe i just dont get it.

No. 56619

Maybe the whole 'bi girls go straight eventually' thing is a myth, but if it does happen as much as people say it does, it might also be a product of internalised misogyny and homophobia. We can all agree that being straight or apparently straight makes your life a hell of a lot simpler, and we're constantly told that women don't have 'real' sex with each other, and girlfriends are just 'really good friends', and so on. I'm reluctant to believe all women identifying as bi are dick-worshipping traitors.

No. 56620

>>56619
Its also a hell of a lot easier to find a male partner, bigger dating pool

No. 56621

>>56620
>>56619
Which is probably where the "bi girls go straight", that anon mentioned comes from.
Not to mention the gays who don't want to date us becase we're bi, so
..yea.

No. 56722

>>56619
I feel like it's >>56620 and just the ease of hitting traditional milestones with a hetero relationship that make them more likely in the end. Things might change now that it's easier for gay couples to get married and have kids etc, but I always saw myself ending with a man just because then it's easier to do those traditional things that people feel they need to do when they get older(and then an old lesbian after my kids grow up and I divorde kek)
This is bitchy, but I also haven't met a girl which I would trust to trust me to spend forever with, because of the 'bi girls always go straight' cliche there are always going to be trust issues in a ff relationship. But a man will just see it as normal and expected that you will stay

No. 56769

>>56610
This is exactly how it feels like.

It really sucks that the same people who scream "homophobia!" at the minimal chance then do this kind of shit (when they supposedly know how it feels like).

The worst part is that you can't call them out on this or you are bigot. Fuck I can't stand the LGT community's bullshit. There are some lesbians who are really cool people but most of the ones I met have a visceral hatred against bi/het women and I personally can't stand them anymore. I don't trust them.

No. 56795

>>56769
I mean, you can call them out. But they'll start screeching and play the victim card

I only recently started to get involved in the community and some people are really sweet but damn the amount of people thinking we're "liars" or just heteros trying to be special is pretty big

No. 60680

i don't mind the person's sex or gender as long as they're nice, interesting and attractive to me. i guess that makes me "pansexual", but i always call myself bi to not sound snowflakey. yet i haven't had a chance to get with many people of the same sex and that makes me feel like an impostor. LGBT friends and people implying the same thing doesn't help either. anyone had a similar experience?

No. 60681

>>60680
me too anon. i don't want to have to explain pansexuality to normies so bi is easier even though i could go for anyone tbh. your sexuality isn't 'fake' because you haven't been with a lot of same-sex partners (not sure if guy or girl) - my only sexual experience with girls thus far has been very abusive yet i still know that i'm attracted to them.

it's a double-edged sword - you sleep with people of both sexes, you fit thhe typical bi slut stereotype. you don't, well, you're not a legit bisexual then and you won't be until you do. try to ignore everyone else because you know what/who you like and nobody can tell you otherwise.

personally i seem to be more attracted to the idea of femininity - girls, feminine guys, cute guys, even drag queens. super macho burly men have never been my type.

No. 60683

>>60681

are you me? i'm attracted to feminine or androgynous people too. no offense to butch ladies (some of them are legit gorgeous) but big burly manly men are just sort of… meh to me? like, if they're nice, sure, but it's never a preference or a plus.

i agree with you on other counts too. we do we.

No. 60688

>>60681
Same thing here anon.
I'm bi (well pan, but say be for the same reason as you) and I've been with my bf for 6 years now. Every time sexuality comes up people roll their eyes or don't believe me because I've never been with a girl.

Sucks, but you know better what you like than others. You do you.

No. 60695

>>60688
Same with a boyfriend of 3 years, but people always believe my sexuality because I look like a butch stereotype lol.

That being said, pansexuality is stupid. It implies bisexual people are emotionless sluts who don't value being nice/interesting. Obviously anyone looking for a partner wants someone with good qualities. The only difference between a straight person and you is which genders are eligible.

Pan also has a bad rap for a reason…tons of liberal straight girls use it to seem "accepting". Identifying as pan also takes away the sex side of sexuality - making it about your big heart or whatever, so of course women will jump on that, since they're constantly shamed for anything indicating they're sluts/enjoy sex.

No. 60742

>>60681
>>60683
I'm the same as you two. This leads to me getting attracted to and catching feelings for gay men (mostly twinks), though, which will never not be soul crushing. It's just my luck that I'm always interested in gay men or straight girls.

>>60695
I don't understand the need to have an entirely different word. The chances I'm going to meet let alone date a trans or intersex person are very small. That leaves me with cis men and women, the same as 99% of bi/pan people. No matter the case the person I'm with is going to identify as a man or a woman, so what's the point in clarifying "Yeah I'd fuck/date a trans person if I had the chance". What? It's just a stupid game of semantics and pedantics. Not to derail the thread or anything but if there's an actually good reason for the pansexual label I'd like to know it.

No. 60743

>>60742
I think anon posted something about it here that explains it better. Haven't really bothered to read it tho. >>56517

No. 60758

>>60742
>>60743
A bisexual is attracted to cisgendered men and women. Pansexuals are attracted to every type of body, whether it be a cisgendered person, a transperson's body (Which can be inbetween transitions, and a transitioned body sexually isn't 100% the same, at least for FTMs it's not, mtf vaginas i can't tell the difference with).
Plus it also adds intersexed persons (hermaphrodites), and possibly people with sexual deformities (like the chick with two vaginas).

I'm bisexual and I am not attracted to transpersons.

For me this is mostly about the baggage though. Every trans person I have befriended or gotten into any form of relationship with has been hell to deal with. I mean, it's logical they're going to have a little more baggage in terms of self worth and appearance than your average person. That's a given.

But my worst experience kinda shows what I mean. This was a transgirl. I met her online just looking for friends but I guess despite being trans, the man side of her that said "Friends means we can FUCK" was kicking in because day one she was trying to get me into more shit.
I was going through a lot of depression at the time and was dressing down a lot. Not really wearing anything to make me stand out (So a t-shirt and jeans most of the time with a hoodie) and my hair was cut short so i didn't have to deal with it.
So maybe she thought I was masculine and shit or maybe she was projecting her sexual desires onto me.

But she insisted I get on top when we were dry humping and treat her like the girl (i.e. hump against her ass like I had a dick).
I obliged at first (dear god being the guy sucks if you're not fit or can't autopilot like guys do) but it quickly got more and more out of hand.

She'd keep putting me down a lot and would always come back with "GURL I"M A HONEYBADGER YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOWN" when all i asked her was to stop asking me to be a guy.

As someone who was struggling with self esteem issues in a different way (i.e. being a cisgendered girl who felt masculine and ugly) it was really difficult, and her utter unwillingness to understand how I felt because she experiences more difficulties being herself and "doesn't give a shit" about it just crushed me.

Aside from her I have only had one good experience even being friends with a transgendered person (I'm sorry but too many FTMs are either fake, or still act like fakeassbitches despite wanting to be masculine).


The last reason is that I have trouble seeing some transgendered people as the gender they want to be. For example, I had a massive crush on a transmale (the one good one as said above) but I never pursued it because I realized I didn't see him as a him, I saw him as a boyish girl (and god do i love boyish girls) and i thought that was too disrespectful to be able to pursue a relationship..and that's usually what it is in the end for me. I get attracted to a transperson for what they are physically rather than the gender they feel they are, and would lose attraction to them if they changed.


Add the fact that most FTM trannies at least are just too ugly to be considered girls and are all glued to tumblr and I just can't do it, I'm too shallow.

So that's why I find a difference between the terms.

No. 60782

>>60742
there are a lot of people who don't want to be with someone who's had HRT or surgery, or even not being able to enjoy their partner's body how it currently is (may trans people don't really want to be treated as their biological sex during intercourse). that's why the need for the word.
i personally have a huge problem with body modification of any kind, so i wouldn't be able to be with someone who was post op or post HRT trans. pansexuals are accepting of those kinds of things.

pansexuals are not better or worse than bi people, like tumblr would have you believe it's just another sexuality. like any other sexuality, it's important in certain situations, such as dating sites, to let someone else know whether you're interested in them or not. in my case i want people to know i am uncomfortable physically with trans people.

the stigma around being bi comes from porn and pop culture. a lot of men are attracted to multiple women being together, and with them, so the portayal of bi people in the media is really centered around sex. couple that with experimentation and then it gets worse. similar stigmas exist for lesbians and gays but i think being bi is more accessible. the idea that you'd want to have sex with a guy and also a girl is arousing to alot of people, which sucks, but not everyone feels that way, and working towards normalizing different sexuality in the media will correct this problem eventually.

the real problem is with tumblr and the stigma around non-pansexuals. when i was on dating sites i would often get harassing or threatening messages from tumblr-types about being transphobic and it's really unfair. those people try to dictate other people's sexuality and at the same time claim to be more accepting. i even have trouble with my current boyfriend's circumcision because i am uncomfortable wth genital modification, for someone to tell me to be okay with something even more extreme is terrible. i don't understand why people act that way.

No. 60837

Why are people debating bisexuality vs pansexuality in a thread dedicated to bisexuality? There is a small difference between the two which is hotly debated, we get it. Start a new thread if you dislike bisexuals that much.

I'm bisexual. I've fallen for guys. I've fallen for gals. I've fallen for people who don't identify as either. I've fallen for people who identify as both. I like penises. I like vaginas. Haven't seen one but I'm sure I'd like a hermaphrodite's genitals too if I got along with them. In fact idgaf what genital's my partner has because at the end of the day I enjoy satisfying them whatever they have or whatever clothing they wear. Why? Because a person's body or dress preference doesn't dictate my attraction to them and to claim it does means you've a very basic understanding of attraction. It's so much deeper than that.

From what I've gathered here, people who are bisexual and exclude trans people only do so because trans people are, in general, hard to get on with. That's mostly thanks to tumblr crazies who aren't genuine cases. Maybe it's because I'm older than some here, but I've met plenty of sane, attractive trans people my age. One day the people above might meet a trans person who isn't a transtrender and find themselves attracted to them (they don't seem to be claiming that they don't find them physically unattrative. Attraction is more than just physical appearance!) but for now they avoid them and that's okay to me. That doesn't make their sexuality any less valid and to point at these people and claim that all bisexuals exclude all trans people just because some bisexuals are sick of transtrenders is ridiculous.

If a bisexual person decided to only date people of the opposite sex in order to protect themselves from violence? You wouldn't question their sexuality over that. If a bisexual person decided to only date people of the same sex because they have bad experiences with the opposite sex? You wouldn't question their sexuality over that.
Why do you suddenly question their sexuality and force people to adopt a different name for their sexuality based on a particular preference? We don't ask people who have any other kind of preference for hair colour or race or a partner with a certain income or weird kinks to adopt a new name for their sexuality, so why do people pick on bisexuals?
To bring the conversation back to something relevant, who is your favourite fictional bisexual?

No. 60844

>>60837
this is ridiculous, call yourself pan, that's what you are. labels are there so other people can understand you, not so you can define them yourself. bi means two and pan means all, that's why the terms aren't the same. trans people aren't really their biological gender, and they're at risk for violence if the person is really transphobic, and shock! bi people can be transphobic. in any case i think you missed alot of the real argument here is that people are butthurt by tumblrtards saying that being bi is wrong somehow, which like >>60782 said, it's not. they also explained that they can't physically deal with post-op trans bodies, which isn't at all what you said.

you sound like part of the problem, bi and pan have their place.

No. 60851

File: 1495073032555.gif (1.94 MB, 720x548, fTTvPAw.gif)

not to sound like a total fucking shut-in, but is anyone else only attracted to 2d men and real women? i've posted in the husbando thread a few times, but when it comes to real men, i couldn't be more repulsed. idk if this means i'm actually bisexual or not.

definitely into to other women, though.

No. 60853


No. 60858

>>60851

very relatable but the big difference is i started identifying as a lesbian because of this. my girlfriend is also the same, we talk about how cute some 2D guys are but then when it comes to irl men unless theyre really fucking super hot we're disinterested, ive met a few other lesbos who feel this way too

also before anyone gets triggered for a lesbian posting here i was reading through this thread to try and be a better ally and just thought i'd chime in since more perspective is better sometimes

No. 60878

>>60851
I'm the opposite, but can relate to you anon.

I find 2d and 3d men hot, although I'm not that interested in sex, so judge men primarily on personality + money.

With 2d girls though, lol, I can definitely form crushes. 3D doesn't work for me though.

No. 60892

>>60851
I think it's because it's the whole "perfect fictitious man" thing. Like you know how the character acts and when there isn't anything canonically you can fill in the gaps with your own fantasies and theoretically you can't be wrong because it's not a real character.

Whereas 3d men are complete wildcards. You don't know what they're thinking or what they can do, and so many men are so scummy that you think they aren't worth it.

3d women on the other hand are less of a mystery. You (to some level) know and can relate to other women so they are comfy and nice, so you can actually see yourself befriending and maybe even dating one.

No. 60959

>>60851
I'm the same, though i tend to be attracted to 3D men more than 3D women. I prefer 2D either way.

No. 60966

File: 1495174276840.jpg (6.41 KB, 223x235, 645645423.jpg)

>>60851
Definitely know what you mean. In my case, I think it might have a lot to do with what >>60892 said.

I'm in a long term relationship with a guy that's not going that great, and I think that has made my attraction to women and 2D men even worse. I find myself accidentally comparing him to fictitious guys and wishing I could be with a woman instead.

No. 61000

>>60966
dump him and get a qt gf instead

No. 61905

any tips for girls who want to meet girls? the local gay scene is made up almost entirely of angry, excessively political people who all know each other and have huge drama between them. a good number of the lesbians are butches who think acting like men and boasting with "pumping and dumping" people is a medal of honor. i'm vary of dating apps/sites but i'm open to suggestions.

No. 61915

>>61905
I can't give anything helpful, but I can warn away from tinder in trying to meet other women. when i was set to male and female, just so many guys being like " so you fuck girls haha ;)" and girls wouldn't speak to me. When I was set to just women, they still wouldn't speak to me. good luck, anon!

both myself and my boyfriend are bi, and while I've been with girls he's never been with a man. He sometimes acts like a bit of a muscle twink in bed and wants me to peg him. I've never had my validity questioned but I've never tried to involve myself heavily in the LGBT scene locally because I never had much issue coming to terms with my own sexuality and now, I know I'd be excluded for being " straight-passing"
Think we'll go to pride next year tho with my gay aunty and her wife, after they get married

No. 61924

>>61915
Is it just me thinking it's really hard to meet girls when you're bi and kinda outgoing already ? I'm ashamed because I literally never had sex with a woman, or had a serious relationship with one so I feel like my validity as a bi is null.

I tried dating apps, putting my sexuality as bi and messaging a ton of girls on okcupid (the amount of unicorn hunters, fake profiles and "sapiosexual-demisexual" is astounding), tried gay only dating apps etc …
Girls are either sjws with that dumb miniature bangs haircut and grandma glasses tumblr look, angsty as fuck or simply flaky. Or trans, cool…

And in the meantime I continue to go out and get hit on by really cool decent men, with a stable life and handsome at that.

I really want to try dating girls but it's such a fucking hurdle. The amount of girls who are bi or lesbian in the area is already fucking low but you have to take out the uglies, the couples, the polyamouros and the anxiety riddled ones.

No. 61926

>>61924
>really want to try dating girls

This is a big part of the reason you are getting ignored. Lesbians want to be with girls who date girls for real, not girls who just want to try it for the sake of trying and bi cred.

No. 61927

>>61926
and they can be rather biphobic

No. 61928

>>61927
nobody owes anybody sex. and lesbians don't have to settle for being objectified by girls wanting to try~ them.

No. 61930

>>61915
>>61926
what are you getting aggro for? if they're bi, they're obviously attracted to women, they're not trying to date them just for the hell of it.

No. 61931

>>61930
>they're not trying to date them just for the hell of it.

Anon literally said "I feel like my validity as a bi is null" because she has no experience with women,
and went on to follow it with "I really want to try dating girls" but she can't because apparently ~all girls suck~ (uglies, couples, polyamouros and anxiety riddled) whereas ~all boys who hit on her are "cool decent men"~

Bi women like this give all bi women bad reputation.

No. 61932

>>61924
Hey-yo, I feel u bro.
The dating pool for lesbians is so small in most communities that they're rightfully shitty about bi women lovin' and leavin' em for men which happens more often than you think.
It is hard for bi women though, most of my friends are lesbians and they're always defending me from other lesbians who delightfully call me a cock-sucker at clubs lmao. My friends know me though, they know I'm not just a college girl looking to experiment and then go "this is hard, my parents cut me off so I'm gonna get a boyfriend instead, bye" because I've been part of the community for so long.
I've talked to them about this before though, that if you attack every fresh-faced young girl experimenting with her sexuality then that pool's going to get even smaller. I have a friend who turned out to be a lesbian that almost got MARRIED to a guy because she was told so often that she was faking it. Luckily she met a lovely gay woman and they're really happy together.
Idk, I'm on the lesbians' side because of all the bull they have to put up with but the sad baby bi inside me just wants to beg everyone to stop chasing kids off.

No. 61944

I'm not really romantically interested in people and I'm not monogamous either, so lesbians don't have to worry about me being a cocksucking traitor because I'm not leaving anybody for anybody.

No. 61945

What bi stereotype do you guys think is the worst? For me, I think the stereotype that we'll all inevitably cheat on our partners hurts the most, but I don't really care if people think I'm a slut because I'm bi otherwise.

No. 61947

>>61931
I mean there are less lesbians/bi girls than straight men. And it sounds like anon's standards for girls she'll date are quite specific (possibly too high), so that narrows the pool even further. But she didn't generalise at all about either gender, she just described her options currently. I probably wouldn't date her though lmao

No. 61948

>>61905
tinder tbh. i've never tried it myself, but i'd imagine girls meeting girls is probably less potentially risky than meeting guys. i mean this was always my fall-back plan if i ever wanted to meet a girl.

No. 61949

I knew I was bisexual when my friend decided to screw with me when we were in our early teens and kissed me and lead me on. I fell in love and she ended up being straight, labelling herself bisexual for attention online from guys… It took a few years to get over her. Other females that claimed they were bi were not genuine. When I asked about relationships with them they'd say "Ew. Sex with women" types of things.

One real lesbian who was interested in me for a few years ended up being put off because her friend who was also a bisexual woman, told her lies to get her for herself.

I have had troubles trying to get a girlfriend who is genuine. Right now I'm with a male now and he said I could have a girlfriend if I wanted to while being in a relationship with him but honestly I feel like if I had a girlfriend. I would just want to be hers. No one else's​ and vice versa. I'm a 1 person, person. My mind is so confused. I do favor women more than men. Each female I have met though just end up being straight women who just toy with me and my emotions. I'm not a stupid person, I'm cautious with relationships, but I feel so stupid each time I was lead on to believe something serious could have been only to find out the truth.

No. 61950

File: 1496178481607.jpg (46.27 KB, 640x372, 16584985_302832876799726_69787…)

Is anyone here resigned to the fact that you'll probably never be with a girl? my taste in girls fits in with what you call a "lipstick lesbian", a feminine girly girl who likes other feminine girly girls. This is weirdly very rare?? like two chicks with dresses and makeup and high heels and everything. you see it a lot in porn, but not irl. In fact the ONLY example I've ever seen is petitepasserine and nicholael. I envy that SO MUCH. But I'm already in my 20's and my desire to have a baby with a guy is much stronger than my desire to be in an intimate relationship with a girl like this. I don't plan to be a mom who has a relationship on the side unless it's bio dad either. I just don't like the thought of step-parents/mommy's boyfriend/girlfriend. So me being bisexual will probably go to waste.

No. 61956

>>61932
Thanks, I totally understand that bi suspicion. It sucks and I don't blame lesbians for it, they already face enough and I get how hard it is to find someone when your dating pool is restricted. If a girl told me she wouldn't date me because I sucked cock before I'd be hurt but to me it's kind of rejecting someone because they slept with too many people, that's their own choice.

>>61931
I never said I never had any experience with women. Unfortunately the only gay girls I found so far were pretty far up their own asses so it never went all the way to bed or after a few dates. Or I'm the unluckiest bastard on earth because I end up with butch girls who want to be the typical Chad and screw as many girls as possible. Not that I haven't been offered a gay threesome but it's not my thang.

> ~all girls suck~ (uglies, couples, polyamouros and anxiety riddled) whereas ~all boys who hit on her are "cool decent men"~

Nah son, how about I'm decently attractive, funny and am confident enough to socialize with people easily ? I worked a lot on that and my friend's group is relatively big.

I'm just saying, ~my~ own problem is that I want to date girls but girls my taste don't show up as often as guys my taste, what's so hard to get about it ? I'm attracted to girls but when a dude with a stable situation, funny, respectful and handsome shows up I don't exactly want to put him in the "wait til I try and find the girl version of you"-zone.

>>61947
Thanks, I don't mind being told snobby or dickish for having standards, but you got the point though. I was probably a bit harsh and venting but it's not like I didn't set up several dating profiles, some on girls only websites, went on dates and navigate through the fakes, the hunters and the flakes. If I merely tried to have a college experience I wouldn't go through that for years.

No. 61957

File: 1496183719719.jpg (63.31 KB, 750x367, download.jpg)

My one weakness are career women/confident professionals who look in charge but still feminine.

My portfolio management lecturer almost fits the bill but she's a bit too Ellen DeGeneres for my taste. One time I saw the most gorgeous banker at my college's career fair and she was so pretty and kind I couldn't stop thinking about her for months.

I wish I had an older female mentor gf, but older women never seem to be into those kinds of relationships, not even professionally. They always see younger females/female professionals as competition (or so I've been told), which is sad because I just… don't. I always respect and revere them. And want to suck on their tits while they pet my head. No homo.

No. 61961

File: 1496184864940.png (806.79 KB, 1200x675, 1484259885202.png)

>>61950
Same situation with me. But I prefer girls so much more than guys. I'll probably be alone, I guess, unless I move to a big city like NYC where there's probably more girly girls.

No. 61977

>>61950
me, im v feminine/girly/smol but only less fem girls coo over me
meanwhile I get so flushed when i interact w/ another smol cute girl and fantasize

No. 61992

>>61950
I know the feels anon, I've seen two girly lesbo couples in real life but girls dont like me

No. 61997

>>61930
not sure why you tagged me? I wasn't saying those girls who didn't reply weren't lesbian/ bi. I was just saying that tinder didn't work at all for me when it came to girls, no matter whether I put myself as bisexual or tried only to meet women

No. 62012

>>61915
In Tinder you can't see the other person's sexuality, it only shows photos and bio. It's weird that guys told you that, are you sure it wasn't another site?
In Tinder I always find some beautiful girls tbf, it's the best dating app at least in my area (the other one is Wapa but it's full of fake profiles, butch girls and crazies - not my cup of tea). The only thing is that only few of them actually reply. A lot of them only press like, match, but don't talk back. It's weird

No. 62094

>>61945

that it's not a valid sexuality, it's a phase and/or bi people are doing it for attention.

No. 62410

My status has always confused me, in the sense that I fancied girls way earlier than I fancied boys and I find way more women attractive than I do men, but I've slept with/dated more men? Idk it might just be that the dating pool is a lot smaller for various reasons, as other farmers have mentioned, so I've ended up with more guys because more options.

As for bisexuality/pansexuality being the same thing, I don't really think it is. I wouldn't date a trans person, not because I don't like both sexes, but because I wouldn't want to deal with the personality that goes with it. I don't really believe in "transgender" unless it follows onto being actually transsexual, which it doesn't seem to that often! I cba with gender politicians, it's just not for me. I respect other people's identities, but it doesn't mean I want to date/sleep with them. I wouldn't date a religious person either, for this reason. Also, if I'm dating someone who looks like a trad bio male, I most likely want a dick when I get down there, so…

tldr; I think having separate names for people who would happily date trans people is helpful for those in the dating pool. Stops potentially upsetting conversations, at least!

No. 62411

>>60837
Someone's body or dress preference may not be the basis of a long-lasting attraction, but I believe it's at least a reasonable part of many people's initial attraction to someone. You don't need to talk down to people who's attraction doesn't work the same way as yours, you're not the dating council.

Maybe some people just want to be differentiated because it's easier for them? It's not necessarily about questioning people's sexuality, just about navigating the situations where knowing someone's sexual preference is important. If a trans person could know from one polite descriptive word that they had a chance (or not), would that not be a good thing?

You just sound like an angry control freak. Yes, I'm sure if people on here met a trans person that changed their mind, they'd go for it. People on here don't like bisexuals because they're engaging in a discussion on a fucking messageboard about bisexual identity? Sure. Like, chill out, don't take it so personally.

Sage for non-contribution!

No. 62417

lesbians
>bisexual women are actually straight
>i know this because I've never seen a bisexual girl dating another girl
also lesbians
>oh I'd never date a bisexual woman
Do they really not see the irony?

No. 62424

>>62417
bisexual girls can date one another, no need to use lesbians not wanting you as an excuse for not dating women.

No. 62425

File: 1496805910850.gif (437.79 KB, 320x240, unnamed (6).gif)

Okay, question and I'd like farmers opinions on it:

I've been attracted to girls since my teens. My first time having sex was with one. One of the people I've loved the most, and really left me heartbroken was also a girl.
So yeah, i don't like labels, but if I really need one I guess I've always been bisexual and biromantic.
I got the Kinsey test for fun (because lots of people say it's biased) and I got a perfect 50/50.

But anyway, the older I get, the less interested I am in women. I've always thought I really didn't care about one's private parts: if I love you or/and if I am attracted to you, that's it and fuck it if you have a penis or a vagina. And sometimes my interest in people would vary according to the person I was seeing: I'd barely even notice women around if I was fancying a guy, and vice versa. But those "I'm so gay/straight" days never lasted much and I'd go back to my normal of being attracted to both men and women shortly after.

Why am I talking so much, ugh…
But yeah, I feel like my love and sexual desire for girls has really died. I hate thinking this because I don't want to think it was just a long lasting phase, but maybe… it was? I am 24 now.

I can't see myself with a girl anymore because I don't feel interested in them. Or attracted to them. At all. Trust me, I've tried meeting new girls and it just seems meh and like I'm forcing myself to do something I don't really want to do just to prove myself wrong. I don't really watch much porn, but when I do it's lesbian – still it feels like I do it out of habit, and because most PIV porn seems to hurt as fuck.

Can my interest in women only pop up in me again in many years down the road if I meet the right lady?

If it was really a long phase, then how do I know it was (or not) one?

I know all of this seems like an unimportant thing, and that time will tell, but it's been bothering me so fucking much because I was really comfortable knowing who I was, and with the idea of knowing what I wanted… but now I feel like I don't know anything about myself and need to revaluate everything again.

Tl;dr not sure if I just had a really long bi phase or not, and i want to know if not liking/being attracted to women anymore is normal and comes in sparse cycles.

No. 62430

>>62424
It's not an excuse, I'm just pointing out the irony

No. 62431

>>62425
I went/am going through something similar. My first relationship was with a girl, my first time having sex was with her, I consider her probably my "purest" love, etc.

As it stands, I'm not really sure of my sexuality. I find myself sort of turned off from dating or having sex with women, but I'm also in a relationship right now with a man. I don't find much of anyone else sexually attractive, men OR women. I still get the occasional girl crush, but my attraction to them is mostly from a distance or objective.

But when I think of my ex-gf, I miss that sort of relationship. And girls are nice.

Who knows.

No. 62432

>>62430
how is it ironic? lesbians are a far smaller piece of female population than bi women and they still find dates and settle down in that tiny community just fine.

we on the other hand are pretty common and I question any bi woman who feels the need to ignore all of us and insist on chasing after lesbians as if they owe us something.

it's like when straight women with commitment issues chase after unavailable men to make sure the relationship will fail in advance.

No. 62433

>>62425
What you are feeling is perfectly normal for a bisexual woman, we are all fluid to various degrees. Our attraction to different sexes comes and goes with time and mood and sometimes I could swear I am asexual (and other times I'm like a nympho). In fact I thought I was asexual for the longest time because as a kid I was surrounded by straight girlfriends who kept having crushes on classmates and famous actors/pop stars and shit and I had to make up names and lie about having a crush all throughout the primary and middle school to fit in and seem "normal".

And then in hs I fell for a female teacher (lol) and a guy at the same time. Then for 8 years I was only into women and now into mid-twenties I am noticing men again. I used to be so sure I would settle down with a wife and now I am questioning myself and watching kids in parks and imagining having a traditional family. Both my first kiss and sex was with girls.

You are not a lesbian because lesbians do not posses the ability to be sexually attracted to the male sex ever, not as a phase, not as an experiment, not ever.

No. 62434

>>56530
fucking this, I was excited to see a bi thread since I don't come across much of bi talk and
>it's all fucking pan and trans discourse
holy fuck I hate you people

No. 62435

>>61957
Lol this is hilarious because I pretty much fit that bill but I'm in a long term relationship (with a man). I fell in love with three women before him, sadly wound up with a broken heart after each relationship. He and I just happened to click in the right way and stayed together. I am definitely more gay than straight and typically can't even stand men. However I really miss being intimate with a woman and have been fantasizing about it a lot lately. (I was tempted to try a threesome with my current relationship a few times but I chickened out each time and fuck do I regret it. But I am still lowkey wondering if I should tell him how much I miss being with a woman and see if we can come up with a solution.)

Anyway, I'm a career woman in the medical field. Always go for a business casual and feminine look but I am attracted to both masculine and feminine women. I've always been a bit naive and emotionally stunted when interacting with people so I also had that fantasy when I was younger to have an older female mentor girlfriend as well, mostly because I was so inexperienced with people and life. I am a weird mix, I am pretty submissive about some things but dominant about others and when I was younger I wanted someone who could put me in my place and guide me.

Now that I'm in my late twenties and have been through enough shit to have some sense of this world, I oddly do not mind the idea of a younger girlfriend so long as she is decently forward and dominant in her own way. I used to think it was strange for a younger partner to be more dominant than someone older, but here I am oddly completely enthralled with the idea of someone younger (but not drastically ofc) going after me and being too naive and impulsive to be rational while doing as she pleases with me. (Even though I'm not that old in comparison, I feel like I sound like a seedy old fuck when I say that though, ugh.) But if I was with someone like that, I would also love to spoil her, buy her some nice things from time to time, take her to nice restaurants, etc. especially if she is still working on her career or finishing college. I never had that when I was younger and would love to share those kinds of experiences with her if she wanted.

Sorry, that probably sounds all kinds of wrong, but I guess what I am trying to say is there are some out there who fit what you are looking for. It's just hard to be obvious about it, since there are so many repercussions for not only being a lesbian but also being okay with dating someone younger.

Anyway, don't give up hope anon. I am sure you fill find someone older who is into that kind of relationship. Sage for blogging and pointless daydreaming.

No. 62439

>>62432
I know a lot more lesbians than bi girls. Maybe it's because lesbians tend to have a community whereas bisexuals don't?

No. 62446

Bi girl who's been led on by every girl I've ever pursued. First one wasn't ready to come out, dated in secret anyway for 2 years before we were found out and she denied everything, said I was lying faggot. OK. Next girl led me on for 9 months, convinced me she loved me, but then left me for a man who licked dog shit off a bike tire for $5. Wtf. Last girl I was really into I'd known and liked for ages. We became roommates, she acted into me and would intiate sex and we'd do tons of stuff together. This went on for 6 months and I seriously thought we were progressing towards a legit relationship, but then I found out she was telling everyone she only liked me because I was her "slave", apparently because I paid for dates/bought her gifts and was willing to help around the house? Moved out after that, she contacted me a year later and apologized, but I never answered because I'm still hung up on her hahaha

No. 62454

>>62433
>>62431
Thanks anons for your input!

No. 62476

I'm bi and I lean more towards guys. I've never felt like I was hated because of it? But then again I try to stay away from the community all together because they're all a bunch of cry babies it seems

No. 62549

>>62012
I put interested in guys and girls is my bio intially, then removed it when it was clear that it was a hindrance. Still nothing.

Guess my area just wasn't particularly gay unfortunately

No. 62572

I was going to post in the vent thread but it kind of belongs here too, I met a manic pixie dream girl at a party and can't get her out of my head but I have a boyfriend

A girl has never hit on me before so it was easier to ignore my fear of missing out on cute girls because of my LTR but this girl I was talking to all night actually asked if I was single and when I said no she even later came back and asked if my boyfriend would let me be with a girl or even have a threesome. I'm so sad anons because I bet no other cute girl will ever hit on me for the rest of my life. Why did this never happen when I was single? She had freckles

No. 62775

So, uh, I have a weird problem. I had a crush on my boyfriend for a while before I started dating him and before we got together (and I was crushing on him), he had a girlfriend. At the time, I was frustrated by this and would constantly compare myself to her. They broke up on mutual terms and then, much later, he started dating me.

…But I think I really liked her all along. I can't get my mind off her and just checking her social media cheers me up - I don't follow her because I don't want him to know and I could never talk to him about this. But I keep thinking about how much happier I would be if I realized I liked her earlier and started dating her when they broke up instead of him. I feel so bad about this, though. I don't know what to do but try to ignore it, which hasn't been working so far…

No. 62944

I am attracted to girls but only sexually, I blame the fact that I watched so much porn growing up and generally the softer stuff (that I started with) is always lesbian. So it probably rewired my brain. I masturbate pretty much solely to lesbian porn too. But I don't think I would ever want to be with a girl irl, especially not in a relationship. I have been tempted to try tinder and look for a femme girl who just wants to come over so we can eat each other out, but I don't really have the balls to do such a thing. I remember a few vague lesbian experiences when I was much younger, with my friend (including scissoring with her lol but we were just curious kek).

I don't really feel attracted to girls irl (but get a lil moist around really high maintenance, snobby, bitchy girls - I think I'm attracted to ultra femme girls only). I guess I kind of want to get dommed by a hot girl. I saw some porn where a girl gets punished, humiliated and pissed on by her female classmates, and now it's one of my biggest fantasies. The idea of getting hazed and being a sex slave for dominant girls gets me off too.

Irl however I have only ever wanted to be in relationships with men. I am only capable of loving cis males. I am only capable of romantic feelings towards men. Sex with a guy I really love is the best, but I think sexually, I will always have a longing for pussy. However, I plan to exclusively have relationships with men only. But that lesbian fantasy isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I've heard that this kind of sexuality in females is very common. Luckily I can separate love and sex very easily. If my lesbian fantasy doesn't happen, I won't care too much. I'm quite happy with just getting dick.

No. 62946

What have been your experiences with trying to find a gf on tinder?
I've heard that girls who put "bisexual" on their profiles get an obscene amount of people asking for threesomes, and I don't want to deal with that.

No. 62959

>>62944
Hey I'm in almost the exact same boat as you, but my fantasy switches between being dommed by a thicc milf or domming a shy gal.

I actually fingered/ate out a girl and she did to me once because of those kinds of feelings and to be honest I fucking hated it lol. Flirting with her was really fun and I got really turned on but once it got down to it my puss dried the fuck up. Though, it did cool down the lesbo shit in me a lot and now I don't feel weird or gross watching some kinds of het porn.

Sexuality is a bizarre thing.

No. 62961

>>62944
I'm similar to you, except I think dating girls sounds nice, but am not sexually attracted to them.

No. 62962

>>62944
I'm the same way and I also kinda blame porn, I always watched lesbian orgies and hazing/sorority porn growing up. I kind of wish I was romantically attracted to girls – I can see the appeal, but I don't feel the appeal.

No. 62974

>>62959
So you literally got it out of your system? It's funny cause I thought that was just a saying but obviously in your case, it was true. It's kind of making me wonder if I should just go for it and see if it changes my attitude.

No. 63000

>>62946
People can't see your sexuality on Tinder, I don't know how this would ever happen

No. 64663

What's up with all these complaints about not being able to find a girl to sleep with just because you're also a girl?

Just find an escort. Even Chris got laid thanks to one, and the only bad decision he made in hiring an escort was not doing so back when he was in P.V.C.C. the day before he made that retarded sign.

Or try a sex surrogate. Mark O'Brien lost his virginity in his late 30s with one, and he was in an iron lung since he was five. Difficulty coming to terms with your sexuality might even be enough to qualify you.

No. 64666

>>64663
We're not incels jfc. The people above are just a little bi-curious, not desperate. Women aren't degenerates like that.

No. 64669

>>64663
Are you kidding?Lesbian escort sex is much more risky than het sex with am escort. Eating out/getting eaten out by someone with herpes or other STDs, or sharing a dildo is dangerous. At least with BJs and PIV sex you can use condoms and men's urethras are harder for STDs to travel up. Not to mention hiring prostitutes is degenerate af unless you're literally an incel with no other option.

No. 64672

>>64669

No it isn't. There's never been a documented case in history of H.I.V. transmitting from oral sex with a woman.

http://www.sfcityclinic.org/drk/womenshealth4.asp

There hasn't even been a documented case of S.T.I. transmission of any kind from oral sex with women unless the woman receiving oral was mensturating or having an outbreak, both of which are obvious.

https://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2012/11/28/q-a-november-2012/

And what kind of idiot shares a dildo during sex? Just bring one for each of you if it's that important, and make sure they're different colors so they're immediately visually distinctive.

No. 64858

File: 1500004065865.png (953.67 KB, 765x1044, 1492280462937.png)

Pretty much have come to terms that I'm bisexual, yet when it comes to men I can only imagine myself with my 2-D fictional husbandos. The thought of being with a man irl isn't all that appealing.
Also pretty similar to >>61950 and >>61961, I'm only attracted to girly girls. Unfortunately all the bi girls/lesbians in my area are SJW types, some to an extreme, and its just…so discouraging.

No. 64904

>>56619

>Maybe the whole 'bi girls go straight eventually' thing


That's pretty much dude availability though. Guys are hornier, more forward for a variety of social reasons, and there's a lot more of them.

It's sort of flipped around for gay guys. But (not trying to be homophobic here) I've heard one of the culprits for HIV in gay men is that they just sleep around a lot more (the other being the mechanics of anal sex).

So bisexual men have a thing where there are many "hard to get" women, and a few "easy" guys.

Bisexual women have a thing where there are few "hard" women, and many "easy" guys. So many easy guys. Everywhere. So it's not surprising at all that most bisexual women go straight; it's literally 100x more probable.

No. 77266

OK hi. I'm bi and here to continue the discussion from the june thread. do you guys believe in "bihets" or do you think we/society are just overthinking the permutations of general bisexuality?

No. 77268

from june thread
>How would one know the difference between "being conditioned to sexualize women from media and having a lesbian fetish" and being actually sexually attracted to women?


this bugs me too. if you're turned on by a woman…what's the difference? obviously it might not be that healthy to have a media-based type, but that could describe a huge amount of straight guys lol.

No. 77269

>>77268
Yeah this. Media could influence what you find attractive in women but I just can't see how it'd make you sexually attracted to women if you're really straight.

No. 77270

>>77268
>How would one know the difference between "being conditioned to sexualize women from media and having a lesbian fetish" and being actually sexually attracted to women?

I don't really think I have an answer and this one might be a poor one, but if you can't see yourself in a relationship with a woman then maaaybe that could be an indicator?

No. 77271

>>77269
yeah. i too had a sexuality identical to what june claims and a bunch of other anons relate to wrt only attracted to women but not romantic and only vice versa for men.

but what a damn coincidence that there's so little easily accessible media that 1) portrays lesbian romantic relationships 2) puts men in the sexual object role and women in the sexual subject role in a genuine, non-fetishy way

if you don't have inspirational media and your imagination doesn't come up with these things, what's left is irl experience, and many of us only have experience with men because as another anon said, it's just way easier to come by.

my point is i think "genuine" 50/50 sexual and romantic bisexuality might be more apparent for a lot of us if what resonated with us wasn't so biased towards sexualizing women and romanticizing men. i know that i used to think i wasn't sexually attracted to men until i found guys who were my type and into putting themselves in "the female gaze" if i may. i guess i've always been mainly into being the sexual subject. it seems actually pretty rare for straight guys, at least to the point that the few who do it aren't usually my physical type.

sorry if that was a bit incoherent the june thread just awakened feels in me that i thought i had moved on from

No. 77272

>>77270
True, but there can be other more social factors that influence that. You could be bi and not see yourself in a relationship with women because you haven't jived romantically with women you've met, have some issues with other women you haven't dealt with, or just been taught to expect a relationship with a man.

Then there's the people who will go "You think you want to date women but you need to experiment to find out", like that one girl in the thread.

No. 77275

to whoever said this
>Plenty of men do that and I don't think they're less straight for it. An unhealthy lesbian sexuality is still a lesbian sexuality.

also this. ive often felt a pressure (might just be a pressure from myself) to have a really sweet pure innocent attraction to women or else that part of my sexuality isn't 'real.' i mean it's good to aspire to have a sexuality based on equality but it seems like the sexual nueroses that are super common in straight people are used to invalidate the female attraction side of female bisexuality because it's male gaze-y and not pure uwu.

mfw worrying about being a snowflake/objectifying perv/attention seeking straight girl/oppression olympics sjw prolonged the process of realizing i'm actually legitimately bi

No. 77277

>>77271
I'm kinda interested in what you say about sexual subject/sexual object stuff. My experience has been a bit different.

I know when I was a kid/teen I tried so hard to "figure out" how to see guys sexually the way I saw women. and looked at pictures of different guys to see if I could find any I could view as the sexual object. I never did figure it out, gave up, assumed I was just gay. With women I wanted to be the sexual subject more than the sexual object and tbh couldn't really see myself in the position of "sexual object".

I met a guy, we became close friends, and ended up dating. I still can't see him like a sexual object, I can't relate to girls that talk about certain features a guy has they love. I like to look at his face but for his body all I can say is "well there's nothing wrong with it", it'd be the same for any guy really. I think the reason I'm able to enjoy sex with him is because I realized how to put myself in the position of sexual object and realize I could also enjoy that. With women I'd lead towards being the "subject" but could also be the "object", with men I could only be the "object". I'm not sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Sorry if this is also incoherent, I just feel a bit confused about myself.

No. 77278

>>77275
This so much. It's something I've gotten over more as I got older, but when I was say, 13 and just figuring things out about myself, I felt so ashamed for "sexualizing" or "objectifying" women because everything I could see or read said how gross and bad and perverted that was, and I didn't think I could give myself a pass for also being a woman.

No. 77279

>>77278
>>77275
Same exact experience here. Even if it's well-intended, some of this stuff about being an objectifying misogynist is harmful to women who are attracted to women. I think the whole idea of being a sexual subject or object is different from person to person, and not everyone who is bi will experience their attraction in the same way. Also one isn't inherently better or worse than the other, the harm comes from the overall patterns in society that tend to put women in the object position, which bleeds over to other things.

As for whether that attraction is influenced by media, it doesn't change the fact that that attraction still exists, and I doubt someone straight could be conditioned to have an attraction to the same sex if regular conversion therapy doesn't even work.

No. 77280

>>77279
I think to some extent sexual objectification is just part of the human sexual experience, and while obviously it's shitty and should never be encouraged if for some people that bleeds into the rest of their perception and they see women as NOTHING BUT objects for sex, the "object" sexual role isn't unhealthy by itself and doesn't need to be demonized in all instances.

No. 77281

>>77277
>>77277
In this case I mean sexual subject/object in really basic terms, and I suspect that's how you're using it too. The really unhealthy dehumanizing version of objectifying someone where you literally won't realize they too are a subject is a whole different animal imo, but I think in the past my horror about being dehumanized by sexists and sociopaths made me feel ashamed at what I now think is a pretty tame and natural dynamic between two people. I just prefer to look than be looked at and what turns me on is based on how the other person looks and what they're doing, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. But I'll look/act sexy for them. Now that I really think about it, I think what really awakened me sexually to men was realizing I have a very specific type, abandoning my guilt about being the subject if the other person enjoys the object role, and fapping while stoned

No. 77282

>>77280
>>77280
This this this. It took me so long to figure myself out because being completely objectified in an extreme an inappropriate context is so awful to experience and I didn't want to do that to another person, but the basic role is fine if you know it's just in your mind and you know your partner is a subjective person outside of your gaze

No. 77297

>>77266
I was a teen in the 90s and i remember when bisexuality was huge in movies/shows with women x women. It was only used mainly as a form to pleasure men though. It's sad, but there are still a ton of pathetic women out there (like June) who only makeout with women when they're drunk and with men around. Why do you think so many threesomes are women x women x men?

We're still living in a society where bisexual women are held to a high standard, but only if both women are ultra femme. It's a huge form of sexism. Media is a huge influence on straight girls, esp basic bitches who want attention.

(Hope this is still on topic.)

No. 77298

>>77266
I believe there are a lot of bisexual women who are in straight relationships but are still genuinely bisexual and shouldn't be discredited. Then there are people like June or Jillian…

No. 77315

>>62944
>>62962
What do you guys think of people like this? How does that happen? Can you actually develop sexual attraction to women through watching too much lesbian porn as a teenager or is it just some sort of weird fetish, and how do you tell?

No. 77323

>>77315
I'm like that too and have been that way since basically childhood, before I ever saw porn. It wasn't fully sexual until puberty but I loved looking at pretty and naked women (never men), and that led to porn in puberty (not even lesbian porn though). Maybe if you have a predisposition like that you can end up rewiring yourself to find it sexual once you're old enough, but for myself I see it as something that was latent from the beginning since it explains a lot of things from my childhood, like vaguely sexual experiences with female friends. Or maybe those experiences are what made me like that lol

No. 77324

>>77323
I mean if you've been like that since childhood it just sounds like your regular old bi.

No. 77325

>>77324
Everyone in the other thread was saying "heteroromantic bisexual" is fake bi though. I think it's probably different from person to person.

No. 77326

>>77325
I don't believe "romantic orientation" is a thing. I don't think there's something that's set inside you that decides who you develop feelings for or not. If you have sexual attraction towards an entire gender but don't want to date them, I think that's just something about your personality that developed that way and doesn't really need any kind of label. Considering you can develop feelings for all kinds of people you never would have "seen yourself" wanting to be with just by imagining it, it seems pretty pointless.

I'd be happy to hear why you think it is though, maybe I'm just not getting something.

No. 77328

>>77325
To add:
Sexual attraction is a really instinctual kind of thing. What a man or a woman is, physically, is defined very strictly, and your brain responds to different stimulus with arousal or lack thereof.
"Love" is very much a complicated higher brain emotion. Discounting asexual people here, you'd normally fall in love with people of the sex you're sexually attracted to, so that you'll y'know, be having sex with them. So something seems off to me with the idea of "I can't see myself dating anyone of this gender". If the body parts aren't a problem, what defines a woman or man, in a relationship sense? That's just personality right? And obviously not everyone in the same sex has the same personality. So if you're saying you don't see yourself dating women, isn't that just saying you don't feel like you click romantically with the kind of people most women are? To me it seems like making "I like shy guys" or "I don't like shy guys", into a sexual identity.

You don't find a lot of people saying they're any kind of exclusionary -romantic sexuality other than bisexual heteroromantic either. To me that's either bisexual girls who can't see themselves dating girls since they've been socialized to expect that they'd only ever be with guys, or straight girls that got confused somewhere.

No. 77329

>>77326
>>77328
That's an interesting view and I think you have a really good point. Now that I think about it, it definitely is related to the types of personalities typically associated with each sex, since the personality traits I find attractive are different for men and women, but the traits I want for a relationship are those more associated with men. I wonder how that might've differed in a society with different media/expectations. Thanks!

No. 77432

File: 1522349307124.jpg (129.96 KB, 791x804, 1522272678924.jpg)

>be bisexual
>hear people say this bullshit all the time
>"tehehe le bi gf is better because you can stare at girls together"
"Bisexual" doesn't mean "cuck". When will they learn

No. 77433

>>77432
To be fair as a bi girl dating a guy, I always liked that we can recommend each other porn we like or talk about our taste in women or if one of us thinks a girl is hot. But ogling people in public is gross behavior from anyone.

No. 77434

>>77432
Exactly, no self respecting bi person does this shit
it just screams "I want attention"

>>77433
I mean sure, but yeah ogling people in public is super gross and I have no idea how people would find that attractive.

No. 78074

hey, another bi girl here. Am i the only one who‘s repulsed by dicks? I think they‘re really just sorta nasty but at the same time i can‘t say i‘m not attracted to guys? Because i am but their dicks.. the thought of having het sex is just really unappealing to me. i still call myself bi because last year i had a huge thing for a guy i‘ve known for super long (he ended up just using me for nudes.. yeah that didn‘t exactly go that well) at one point i thought „well maybe i just don‘t like sex“ until i realized how much i love girls. i like guys but seemingly only in a romantic way. I‘m attracted to girls both sexually and romantically so tbh i have no idea if this still classifies as bi. I‘m still a lonely virgin so i‘m hoping that once i actually do shit with both genders everything will figure itself out.

No. 78209

>>78074
I found penises really off-putting when I was younger too desu. literally spent the first two years after discovering porn only looking at nude girls. They're very confrontational because it's all out there and aggressive, unlike a pussy, but it's something I got over once I encountered one in person

No. 78339

File: 1523140142124.jpg (52.59 KB, 500x633, original.jpg)

>>78074
I used to be very similar but I honestly developed a taste for them as well as PIV sex. It's like my attraction to men and women developed at different rates which was really confusing growing up. I felt romantically and somewhat aesthetically attracted to men but never wanted to do anything sexual with them, but with women the sexual attraction was early and strong. I think the change was a big combination of things. I always figured I was gay and in denial and that scared me, so I didn't explore or push my attraction to men for fear that I'd realize I didn't like them at all, when it actually ended up being the opposite. That probably sounds fucking crazy but maybe some bi farmers know what I mean. So after treating vaginismus, realizing I have a "type" for men, accepting my sexuality no matter what it turned out to be, getting over fear of men and fear of being gay, and being less ashamed of my sexuality, I ended up becoming very physically sexually attracted to men and enjoy fucking them, which honestly wasn't the outcome I was expecting at all. I was really ready to face being gay with ~compulsory hetereosexuality~ but it turned out I really do like dudes but that part of my sexuality had been suffocated with fear and doubt.

No. 78348

>>78074
When I first discovered porn/pictures of dicks I remember being really put off, but I just got over it over time I guess? Currently I'm kinda the opposite of you, I have no real attraction to men's bodies even aesthetically, but I like what their dicks can do haha.

No. 78391

I think I'm what you'd call a "fake bisexual",shame on me I guess. I'm attracted to some girls,in a very strong sexual way, but romantically speaking I've never ever felt anything for a girl,it's only sexual. On the other hand,I love men so much, eventhough I found their body pretty much uninteresting (I'm still sexually attracted to them), I can't get enough of them, I find them so…interesting. honestly if I could I'd like to date almost every guy friend I have.
But girls are so pretty,and their bodies are so beautiful…

I've never claimed to be bi or told anyone my attraction to women anyway so no harm done

No. 78428

>>78074
I have the opposite problem. I love dicks, but I find women a lot more sexually appealing to me than men. I'm romantically attracted to both genders, but as for sex I prefer women a lot more. And I have no problem with vaginas and I love them as well, but I can't help but lament the lack of a penis. Guess that's why I'm so into futa.

>>77432
I hate this bullshit so much. Just because you're hypersexual and could find a fucking phone booth sexy doesn't mean you're bi. This is exactly why people are so prejudiced against bisexuals, straight girls playing bi took over the whole term because they thought a supermodel is hot.

No. 78509

File: 1523238637006.jpg (23.1 KB, 400x400, IMG_20170219_175225.jpg)

men are good for fucking and just overly disappointing beings, women on the other side are wonderful and even tho I hate the idea of marriage and monogamy, from time to time I imagine myself married with a woman and having kids, cooking with her, supporting her and becoming better versions of ourselves together, brushing her hair, putting lipstick on her and kissing her and ofc amazing sex :(

No. 78515

I grew up in a very religious house hold, so naturally I was primed to feel ashamed about normal sexual desires. This is especially true when it came to anything gay/lesbian.

I eventually grew up and rejected my parent's religious beliefs, but by then the damage had been done, and it was impossible to simply unlearn every negative thing I was taught over night. Over the years I have learned to not feel so ashamed when it comes to having sexual desires, but sometimes I think that I am permanently 'damaged' by religion.

I have always found women pretty and I have always found myself sexuality attracted to them. I can definitely see myself having sex with a woman. But I just do not find vaginas sexually appealing. Someone said on here they don't like penises, well, I feel that way about vaginas. In my head, I've always wanted to do everything with a woman possible except eating them out or fingering them (unless they are wearing underwear, then I wouldn't mind fingering them above the fabric).

Back in my "SJW" days I truly bought in to the idea that sexuality was purely a social construct and anyone could be attracted to non-straight people and body parts if they just unlearned everything harmful society taught us. But it's been years since I started my journey of self discovery sans the religion, and I still don't find vaginas attractive. In my journey I have discovered new things about my sexuality, but despite my best 'efforts', I still have never been able to find vaginas attractive. The best I have gotten is I don't find them as repulsive as I once had back in my religious days, but I still just don't like them.

I feel like disliking certain genitals wouldn't be a problem if I was a guy - I've talked with gay and bi men, and they say that not every gay or bi guy is into anal or really into sucking dicks, etc. But I feel like, as a woman, if I say I like women but I don't like vaginas, then I'm "fake". This causes me to feel confused… Do I not like vaginas because of what religion and society taught me? Or am I just over thinking this and it is totally okay and normal for some women to like women but not be attracted to vaginas?

No. 78516

>>78515
Honestly don't feel that bad about it, it's not weird. I know there are straight guys that are grossed out by the idea of eating a girl out and etc too. Genitals are fucking weird, it's not that strange to dislike one or both. They were made more for function than beauty and they can be kind of gross. If you ever want to be in a sexual relationship with another woman though, you'd have to at least become tolerant of them.

Have you had sex with a woman before? I used to feel grossed out by vaginas myself, but mellowed out about over time and experience.

No. 78556

Does anyone else here wish they were exclusively gay/straight?
I definitely lean more towards women. I just find them so much more sensual and beautiful and all around sexy as fuck, and just as I think "wow maybe I'm gay" I see some hot dude or something and regret thinking I might be gay. And now by some miracle I've ended up with a guy and now I'm upset that even though I think he's sorta hot, I will forever and ever lust after girls too. And if I end up with a girl in the future, I'll lust after guys too. I will never be totally happy with my SO. I just wish I could like one sex so I wouldn't be so confused all the time.

No. 78558

>>78556
Only because it would be less confusing. Straight people know they're straight because they like the opposite sex and they KNOW they're not gay. When you're bi you spend years questioning if you're really bi or if you're faking half of it. Growing up you feel like both sides of your sexuality have to be perfect mirrors of each other or it's not legitimate, like >>78515 worrying about her indifference to vaginas making her fake, when tons of ~monosexual~ (hate the word but it's convenient here) don't necessarily like the genitals of their preferred sex but it's still pretty obvious what their orientation is. I've basically had to accept that the bottom line is that I'd be with a man or a woman and the minor differences in how i experience those attractions doesn't really matter.

I still wouldn't want to be gay or straight because being bi feels like a life hack to me. You have the option of that het life but you also literally don't need a man so you can be as picky as you want. Lol no wonder people hate us

No. 78651

Can i just add that women as a whole are so beautiful, amazing and loving? While i do 100% classify as bi, i just feel like actually meeting a guy who i feel safe with and who can overlook my flaws is so so hard. But with girls it‘s so much easier!! And that‘s coming from from someone who is closeted and not white so people always immediately assume i must be straight and it‘s just generally almost impossible for me to actully meet other gay girls. I actually recently (4 months ago) met a girl and we just „clicked“ almost immediately.
whenever i see her my heart feels warm all over. Girls are so good

No. 79230

I am having an identity crisis atm. I currently look at myself as BI. And even though I think there are plenty of good looking men around, I feel disgusted just thinking about being intimate with a man. I think dicks look absolutely disgusting. Having hetero sex also seems really animalistic.

I have no idea what I should do. Any bisexual people here that feel the same or any lesbians that used to feel like this?

No. 79233

>>79230

Have you ever had sex with a man? Honestly dicks ARE gross and the idea of straight sex is offputting in theory, but in actuality, as long as the man attached to the dick is not gross, (clean, nice face, your age, reasonable personality) sex is fine. I don't think anyone thinks dicks are sexy, maybe men but not straight women. The fact men try and send the pics like we are supposed to like it is ???

I think it's easy to be a young lesbian just because we are not grossed out by our own bodies, it all makes sense to us VS unfamiliar weird men.

For me the distinction is: I'm only interested in men's personalities in general. Also I want kids, and the fact a man is so different is interesting to me, as well as finding straight sex rewarding in ways gay sex can't be.

After realising that I untrained myself to be bi (like I said it's very easy to be theoretically bi) because both mind and body prefer men in actuality. Preferring women is only in theory. Just offering perspective on this, not trying to say either way is good or bad.

No. 79234

Anyone in a relationship with the same sex and get shit because your bi????

I know I'm bisexual and honestly have no issues with my sexuality. I love girls and I like boys

I'm currently with my girlfriend who I am the only person she's really been in love with
She's always making comments when I find someone of the opposite sex handsome or cute
I don't even like them in a sexual way but she makes me feel like I do
I don't feel like I should pick a side of being gay or straight because my gf doesn't like the fact I'm into men as well….

Anyone else have this problem

No. 79236

>>79233
Good point. I've never had sex with a man, but I've had the opportunity. I never did it though because I haven't liked any of those guys.
I've also experienced sexual assult/harrassment from men, so it might be some sort of trauma and disgust linked to that.

I also have a really sexual female friend who's also bisexual that keeps talking to me about straight things like sucking dick, which is so gross to me and just makes everything worse.

>I'm only interested in men's personalities in general. Also I want kids

I feel the same way tbh. I often find myself attracted to men's personalities because they're more dominant, and most girls aren't. I'd also love to have a nice family with a man. This might be an environmental thing as I was raised in traditional culture.

I guess I should try to work out my issues with sexual assult before I can say 100% sure :/

No. 79252

>>79233
>I don't think anyone thinks dicks are sexy, maybe men but not straight women.
Speak for yourself, I quite like dicks and I wouldn't even call myself completely straight.

No. 79730

File: 1524195785189.jpg (Spoiler Image, 21.05 MB, 728x408, qdWX0Dt.jpg)

I've been hearing that 'scissoring' is a myth and that bi/lesbian women don't actually like that. So I have to ask: is it true? Do most bi/lesbian girls really not like 'scissoring'? The reason I ask is because I haven't been with a woman yet, but that's the main thing I would like to do if I ever sleep with one.

I personally cannot get off unless I lay on my stomach and grind up against something firm, like my mattress. The only other way I seem to be able to get off is if I lay on my back and someone grinds up against me, but I've never had a guy do it long enough to see if that's true. They always stopped right as I was getting really into it and would just go straight into PIV sex, which does nothing for me.

I've tried getting off by just rubbing myself like most girls do, but it just isn't enough pressure and feels bad. When I've been with boys in the past, the only thing that felt really good was when they would lay on me and grind up against me. Them fingering me or eating me out didn't do much or anything at all.

I've always thought about how awesome it would feel to find a girl and we could grind up against each other… but the more I read, the more it sounds unlikely because it's something most girls don't like.


Gif related

No. 79735

>>79234
Why do you tell her who you find handsome or cute? That's kinda autistic

No. 79746

>>79730
from what I understand it kind of comes down to the bodies of the girls involved. if you're too thin it might be uncomfortable. that's just from what I've heard I unfortunately haven't had the chance to try it yet.

something I've seen in porn that seems doable is just rubbing your pussy against the other girls thigh while your thigh is also grinding against her.

No. 79750

>>79730
I feel like this post is written by a male thats posing as a lesbian woman.

No. 79758

>>79746
I guess from what I understand, it's not so much that girls don't grind up against each other, it's more of they don't do it for long, and they can't orgasm from it. Which again sucks, because grinding up against something is the only way I've ever been able to get off.

>rubbing your pussy against the other girls thigh while your thigh is also grinding against her


I'm having trouble imagining this, I'll have to look into it later after I've woken up a bit more, hah.



>>79750

It's not. And I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi.

No. 79760

>>79746
How would being too thin make it painful?

No. 79766

>>79760

Hipbones grinding against one another doesn't sound fun.

No. 79776

>>79760
>>79766
yeah the hipbones thing I what I thought.

No. 79817

I know there's the whole "bisexual men and women are more likely to cheat" thing
but it really sucks when you go out with someone and things get to intimate details and sexuality pops up
>Have you ever felt attracted to a woman as a woman?
>What you have? Are you serious?
>Instant disgust
>Have you ever thought of, or have, cheated on me?

It gets grating after a while and you start feeling shameful and disgusting as a result
Feels bad man

No. 79845

>>79730
It’s not a myth. It’s just very unpopular because you need to be super flexible and it still doesn’t really feel amazing or even good. Not worth it

No. 79852

>>79845
>super flexible
Huh, really? Why? Sorry if that's a dumb question, I can't see it

>>79730
I feel you. I can get off in other ways too, but grinding is one of the best I can do it with men too if I'm on top and there's something extremely hot about the idea…

No. 79854

>>79845
hmm I don't think you have to be flexible. You literally just rub someone's pussy with yours. That's not acrobatics.
I used to do it with my friend, it wasn't even completely sexual for us as we were stupid teens fooling around, just something that felt good. Can confirm you can orgasm like this just fine.
Not everyone's willing to try though, especially that there are more pleasurable ways of doing sex.
But it's not impossible or just a lesbian meme.

No. 81642

this may be a dumb question but, if i fap to anime girls, does that make me bi?

No. 81645

>>81642
nah fam real girls can't compete.

No. 81647

>>81642
Some guys fap to anime goo girls…
it’s fiction and that’s what may be making you interested

No. 81648

>>81647
>it's fiction and that's what may be making you interested
what

No. 82993

If I have only been aroused to girls for years but I dont like to look at vulvas, what does that make me? I don't know if I'd like oral but otherwise I love female bodies.

I don't find dicks to be appealing either, but they look less weird than vaginas to me. I mean, I find men aesthetically attractive, but the feelings are not as visceral.

I'm not even sure if what I've said made any sense. Sorry.

No. 83001

>>82993
many people simply don't find sex organs attractive tbh. for me personally it's difficult to be turned on by photos of a hot naked girl or guy spread eagle, but in the bedroom it's quite different.

No. 83109

>>83001
This. It's called "bumping uglies" for a reason.

No. 83110

>>82993
Same. I honestly love boobs. They turn me on more than anything. But I just cannot with vulvas. Idk if it’s because I’m uncomfortable with my own or if it’s just innate. I can suck a dick no problems, but the idea of eating a girl out turns my stomach. Even though I think women’s general bodies are sexy as fuck, and I masturbate to fictional women (and men), I’ve only ever had sex with men. I used to get my ex to describe hot women he’d seen to make me come, which was the hottest shit. But he hated doing it so it didn’t last long. And I’ve only ever made out with one girl before, but I’ve been with plenty of men. And I wouldn’t want a girl to catch feels for me only to be like “psych, I said I was bi but actually your vulva grosses me out.” So I just say I’m straight.

No. 83199

probably a weird request but could the gals here link things that turned them on? like, things that focus on women

No. 83202

>>56468

I find myself drawn to women way more than men, BUT a lot of the time I'm unsure of whether I'm feeling friendship or something else. I have always had a difficult time gauging whether my feelings for anyone were romantic or platonic. Women make me really nervous romantically.

I messed up my first (only) chance at a relationship with another woman because I literally felt like I was gonna have a nosebleed every time I was around her.

I'll never know now since I'm happily with the love of my life, who happens to be a man. But I will always wonder!

No. 83206

>>83202

same as >>83202 but I also feel an insane amount of guilt because I'm bi but in a """"straight"""" relationship. I'm sure other gals have experienced this, but it hurts the most when other LGBT people tell us that we're "basically straight"

No. 83218

>>83110
Shoe0nhead?

No. 83228

So, I'm a highly female-leaning bisexual.
The issue is that although I like sex with women, penetration is my favorite thing and it's just not as emotionally+physically intense when it's just with fingers. I'd be fine with a strap, but… even with butches I've gotten with, I feel like none of them use straps all that often? I'd need it pretty much every time, and I'm not sure what my chances are of finding a girl that'd be up for that. I couldn't care less about an actual dick, it's just the specific act.

I crush on women 90% of the time though, and when I do date a guy, they end up being so comparatively coldhearted and I feel legitimately shocked whenever they show any affection or thoughtfulness, so het relationships aren't fulfilling for me either. It's frustrating.

No. 83242

>>83199
I love women with big curly hair, its just too cute, and a cute face to match. The cute part is really abstract, If I find her face cute its cute and that's it, there is no criteria.

I also like them to have some muscle and/or to be a chubby, I just can't find attractive a extremely skinny with no muscle woman.

No. 83330

>>83228
Hell, I'd strap it on every time and I'm not even butch.

I can identify with crushing mostly on women and being appalled by male behavior. I don't think I've ever really felt truly loved and satisfied by relationships with men, tbqh prefer sucking cock to PIV, mostly though I fucking love pegging. Most guys don't like it as much as I would want. So yeah.

No. 83338

I'm bi and full of internalised biphobia, please give me advice!

I very infrequently got crushes (on either gender) as a teen and grew up when faking it was what 90% of my peers did, so just kinda assumed it was a myth (ugh) and that thinking girls are hot is just normal and not a bi thing (as mentioned before, I never got crushes on anyone so that in turn meant I never got crushes on girls). These two things made me deny the possibility i was bi until I was an adult (and i'm still not comfortable coming out). I've since had crushes and dated girls so It's not really something i'm confused about, more an insecurity.

I feel huge amounts of shame (and often hide it from my lgbt friends in particular) if i date a guy because i'm terrified i'll look like a 'fake bi'. I never actively look for relationships, so the majority of mine have been hetero since its just more common to bump into straight guys than gay/bi girls, haha. This also makes me doubt myself, like I haven't been able to prove to myself that I'm a good enough bi because I've only dated 2 girls.

Also, my most common reaction to hearing someone is bi is to doubt them because I'm used to fakers, and I hate this about myself.

Do you guys have any advice for this? I hate that i'm untrusting of anyone saying they're bi, and I hate myself every time I get into a het relationship cus I feel everyone is judging me in the exact way that I judge everyone else. I am a horrible person and so massively insecure about my sexuality pls help

(Newfag here so sorry if this is like completely inappropriate)

No. 83363

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>>83338
Damn are you me?

I got somewhat past the insecurity by basically being honest and minding my own business. By that I mean, if your sexuality comes up, just say you're bi and leave it at that. If you're not like "i'm so gay you guys!" or "i swear i'm basically straight!" then who has the right to question you? Only people who don't believe in bisexuality at all, which I think you probably believe in by now since you never had an ulterior motive to fake it yet you have these desires very obviously. You're bi. End of story. Which brings me to,
when other people say they're bi, instead of doubting them OR believing them 100%, just accept that you have no idea if they're really bi or really confused or curious. It's something only they can ever know so it's not anything to worry about unless they're asking you for advice or something.
The same applies to straight or gay people! When a dude with a long term gf says he's straight, you have no idea if he secretly has a lot of gay fantasies and may be a closet bi, it's certainly not unheard of, but you probably just more or less take his word for it.

Bisexuality is not a special case. Lots of people fake or don't understand their orientations and preferences. Some people are more blatantly confused or faking than others, but it's just something you can never really know, so it's unreasonable to fully believe or fully doubt what someone tells you about their sexuality.

No. 83429

>>83330
>>83228

>tfw my partner is a genuinely soft, affectionate man and loves being pegged

>all the girls I've be involved with were tourist lesbians who lead me on and broke my heart

I'm very lucky to have him, but I wish I had had a positive experience romantically with a girl before meeting him.

No. 83457

Any one else who have no interest in having a mff threesome? I could have a threesome with two girls or two guys, but the thought of a guy and a girl makes me sick. Thats the reason for why I have doubted my bisexuality, because if I was "really bi" I would want both at the same time righ?

No. 83458

>>83457
The only thing that makes you bi is being attracted to men and women, anon.

I want no threesomes at all, but I'm still bisexual.

No. 83535

>>83457
I'm not really interested either, anon. It feels fetishy when people suggest that, tbh, especially since it's often straight guys or "unicorn hunter" couples.

I'm not interested in threesomes much at all because of jealousy. I can see where it'd be fun if I got past the jealousy, though.

I still like women and men, bisexuals aren't a monolith other than that we like men and women!

No. 85133

I recently finally admitted to myself that I’m bi, only because I realized I’m suddenly infatuated by my female friend (who is bi). The problem is that we’re in a small close group of friends and basically this guy (my best friend) is also her best friend so I can’t even tell him, or anyone. Plus I’m quite positive I’m not her type at all. It’s gonna ruin so much, make things awkward as hell. So basically I need to get the fuck over my feelings and learn how to get rid of them. It’s so hard because we (as a small group) voice chat every day and hearing her voice, especially laugh gives me butterflies. And I don’t wanna start avoiding them because she’s there, my bff is gonna know something is up. I’m so confused and I just need advice on how to make this pass in the silent. I’ve never felt anything for a female before and it just makes it extra exciting for me. But another reason I just wanna block these feelings is because she recently mentioned in our group convo when we were talking about feelings, that she wanted to be alone, because previous experiences had her feel really bad and stuff. I dunno if she’s picked up on me or if it was just something she’d say anyway. In general I just feel bad for thinking this way of her since it wouldn’t work out.

No. 85366

I'm probably 50/50 for both men and women
I'm currently in a relationship with a female and have been for awhile

She's super weird about me being bisexual and always makes comments when I express any like….way about the opposite sex
She's disgusted by men, I mean who isn't but her disgust is kinda extreme
Even if I say someone is handsome or I like an anime character
She has to make some hasty disgusting comment and I'm so tired of it
There's nothing wrong thirsting after anime dick
But she's got no problem making lesbian comments or anything like that

It's frustrating some time

No. 85389

>>56496
I relate to this so much anon.
I feel like a lot of bisexual women just want to hookup with me? They show interest up until the point that they realize I want a serious relationship. :/ Also: observation, it seems like a lot of bi women prioritize male relationships over female ones. Like, they'll 'fool around' with girls, but when it's a guy, she's 'committed'.

No. 85427

I've always thought I'm bi but for the last few years I don't feel as much sexual attraction to men as before. I can be in a romantic relationship with men but being with women feels more natural. Thinking back most of my crushes are girls and even when I had a crush on a boy it's shortliving, all except one of my past relationships are with girls as well. This revelation confuses the hell out of me. Do I even really like men to begin with?

No. 85430

>>85389
I know your experience is more common, but I guess I've been super unlucky because I've only had the opposite (bi girl, whenever I'm interested in a girl it turns out she only wanted me for flirting/a one night stand). ;_;

No. 85431

>>85389

Unfortunately, this has to do with there being more guys available in the dating pool. Take my area for example, there aren't that many bi women here, and the ones that are available are either already in a relationship, or they are not someone I would ever want to date, especially not long term. There aren't many lesbians out here either, and the ones that are available, most of them don't want to date bisexual women. This doesn't leave a lot of options to choose from, unless you want to settle for someone you don't really like.


It's not really surprising that lots of bi women eventually end up in long term relationships with men, since there is a lot more options to choose from. Sad but true.

No. 85432

>>85431
not really. anon was explicitly talking about how many bi women find other women disposable. the reason for that is because it's still easier to be with a man. not as many questions asked, no harassment for being gay, possibility of children is a huge plus too. it's sad but it's just kind of how it works.

No. 85434

>>85427

anon are you me? i've been dealing with a similar thing lately, i definitely think i'm still bi but at this point i like women 99% of the time

>>85431

i find it surprising that so many of us do end up with men, i know there's a stereotype about lesbians hating bi women but luckily i've only been with ones who were totally respectful. with guys as soon as they know you're bi they treat you like a sex object and only let you talk about your bisexuality when it turns them on, but when you actually want a relationship with a woman and leave them for one all hell breaks loose

No. 85445

>>85432

It sounds like we're mostly on the same page. I don't think bi woman find other bi/lesbian women "disposable", it's mostly boils down to a numbers game. The fact is, heterosexual people can date and dump a lot of people before they land on "the one". Being heterosexual means you won't have as much trouble finding people that you find attractive, are in your age range, into the same things you are, etc. Of course being able to have biological kids and not having to explain your sexuality is another factor, but I argue that it is not the bigger reason why bi woman end up with guys.

Gay/bi people have it harder because the dating pool is already small as it is. It gets even smaller when you consider things like availability, age gaps, life styles, and finding the person sexually attractive.

Using myself as an example, I browsed a couple of dating sites with bi/lesbian women within 2 hours of my location. I ran into a lot of problems:

1. Age gaps - a lot of women in my area were either way too young or way too old. Maybe some people don't mind huge age gaps, but I do.

2. Sexual attraction. I'm not a model by any means, and my standards are not high. But a lot of the women that were in my age range I just did not find myself attracted to. They were either severely overweight, or they were very butch looking, or they looked like Tumblr SJWs. I'm sure these people were nice, but being blunt, I am not attracted to overweight, butch, or SJW type women. I prefer really feminine women, but for some reason there does not seem to be many of those in my area.

3. Conflicting life styles. If I managed to find a woman that was close in age and attractive, what tended to ruin the chances of a long term relationship was that we have very different life styles. I am not into partying, drinking or drugs. I have a career and I want my partner to have a job as well. I am not interested in being someone's "sugar mama". I am also not interested in dating someone who already has kids. No judgement on people who are into to this stuff, but it's not my thing and not what I want in a long term partner.


This happens every single time I search for bi/lesbians in my area, even when I try looking for women hours away. Meanwhile, I can look for men within 1 hour of my location and I'll have several potential matches that are likely to lead to a long term relationship.

I give some of the bi/lesbian women a chance, but I know it's just going to end in a hookup. It's not because I think the women are disposable, but because they are just not what I want in a long term partner. I'm sure there are women that would make great long term partners, but they aren't in my area or if they are, they're already taken.

Honestly, it really sucks. I'm sure not the only bi woman with this problem.

No. 85448

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Anybody here ever been with a man that's scared you'll leave him for a woman? How did you deal with that quelling fear in him and the feeling of misogyny and biphobia that it evokes?

My boyfriend – who I've been with for ~9 months – knows I have a much stronger preference for women; he says himself that he's an "anomaly." I should also note that he IDs as pansexual with a strong preference for women. I genuinely love him, but I know that if we ever broke up I would go back to dating mainly women. I've never told him this, and so I think his fear stems from the fact that my best friend is a lesbian, and him knowing I have a schoolgirl-type innocent crush on 2 female baristas at our local coffee shop.

I have very little interest in ever pursuing anything with my best friend, and I can only see myself ever potentially dating 1 of the 2 baristas I have a crush on should my boyfriend and I ever break up.

And inb4 "you sound like a cheater / if you have crushes on anyone while you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be in a relationship" bullshit, I'm not the type to cheat. In fact, I'm quite content in the relationship I have right now and there's very little I would change about it. I just think those women at the coffee shop are pretty.

No. 85449

>>85448
Telling your boyfriend you have a crush on anyone -man or woman - is probably going to make them feel a little insecure, no matter how harmless it is. So probably a) keep that shit to yourself (fawning all over other people is inconsiderate) and b) reassure him you're happy in the relationship and you aren't going to just dump him for anyone out of the blue and that you're in it for the long haul and all that jazz. Assuming you are.

No. 85452

>>85449
He's always joking about my crush on the baristas, and in fact will one out to me if they happen to be woking that day. Mostly I think he thinks it's funny to watch me try and make casual conversation with them.

He only really brings up this fear of me leaving him (in general, but sometimes he'll mention me possibly leaving him for a woman) when he's tipsy or a little stoned. I assure him pretty much every day that I do see a future with him, etc., usually without prompting and no matter if he's sober or not. He's the first to admit that he's got some deep-rooted insecurities in that area.

No. 85453

>>85448
>>85452

You sort of don't sound like you are thinking seriously about him cause you are already planning who you would get with if you left him. No wonder he's insecure. You should have left those crushes to yourself and maybe not develop them further. Why are you even still going to that Starbucks? That's playing with fire.
And sure he's laughing about it, how else is he supposed to deal with it and not go crazy? It's a way to pretend he's ok with the fact you can't even go to a cafe without developing a crush on some chick.

I get it you can't control your feefies, but maybe be decent enough to not engage them further.

No. 85454

>>85453
The crushes haven't developed past "Oh, wow, she's beautiful and actually has a sense of humor." Why? Because I only go to that coffee shop with him maybe once every two weeks. I don't go there without him; we never see these girls around the neighborhood; there's never been any instances of me getting to know them outside of how they are at their job.

There was one time that he went there without me and told me later on that one of them said we should all go out for drinks sometime, but he turned her down since I'm 20. I wasn't bothered by it in the least because I hate drinking around most people that aren't him.

No. 85456

>>85448

it's normal to have crushes and think other people are cute while you're in a relationship and there shouldn't be any issue unless you're always bringing up how cute other people are to your boyfriend, which doesn't sound like what you're doing. keep reassuring him to a certain point but if at some point you need to tell him to stop being so insecure, do it. you chose him for a reason and at some point frequent reassurance is unhealthy and a need for it is most likely a sign that he doesn't trust or believe in you enough. if you aren't cheating or seeking out those girls behind his back, you aren't doing anything wrong

No. 85460

>>85452
>He's always joking about my crush on the baristas
People joke about things sometimes when it makes them uncomfortable or they want reassurance. Next time he jokes about it, comfort him. You've really messed with his head over this shit. Next time, just keep it to yourself.

No. 85467

>>85448
Yeah it's so biphobic when your bf gets insecure because you can't not tell him about your crushes on women

No. 85469

>>85467

do you expect her to disregard her attraction to women entirely, or? you don't stop being bi when you're in a committed relationship, but there's nothing wrong with flirting and attraction that doesn't mean anything. she didn't say she was gonna cheat on the guy.

No. 145786

Bumping for that one anon starting a new (unnecessary and disastrous) general

>Any fun story that made you question yourself?

>Since when did you doubt your heterosexuality/consider yourself bi?
>Wanna vent about not being het/gay enough for someone?
>Any horror story related to being too bisexy for this world?

No. 145788

>>145786
No I'm not the retarded anon that made the two other threads but I did post this there.

Reposting.

I wrote out a really long post but deleted it.

What I need to say here though is that I am bisexual and spent a long time ignoring that, as well as fearing rejection so I avoided it.

I took until I was 20 to fully realize it, despite all of the signs being there.

Romantically, I love men and women the same. Sexually, I love women more.

Though, the crushes I have had on women have been a million times more impactful, butterflies in my stomach…heart racing crushes.

Guys I tend to see as "marriage and kids" bait. If I don't want to be married and have kids with them then I don't want to be with them at all, in fact I probably don't have respect for them.

No. 145789

File: 1596165793076.gif (1.78 MB, 400x279, 1FF540A5-A3C6-40CF-994C-014B48…)

Sometimes I worry that the only reason I’m sexually attracted to women is because of childhood trauma that involved cocsa, thus making me fakebi because maybe I wasn’t born like this, but abused into it. It kills me to think that my love is born from tainted water.

No. 145796

reeeee dickbreathers how dare you i can't believe you're attracted to both men and women you hellspawn of the cesspool motherfuckers come join the lesbian cult and be miserable with all the rest of us or perish.

No. 145800

I'm honestly terrified of women simply because I'm scared I might be "faking it" and I don't to lead her on, like I can't even swipe on women on Tinder of how insecure I am, especially since I'm not super femme but also not masculine. It's like a damn curse.

No. 145809

>>145800
Just go for it bby.

No. 145824

>>145800
If you're actually attracted to them please go for it. Your confidence will improve by dating. And we need more women who are secure in their orientation. We are told so much crap about bisexuality so no wonder many have low self confidence.

No. 145837

>>145796
Do we really have to be lesbophobic can't this just be a nice bisexual thread

No. 145841

>>145796
Rent free

No. 145844

I don't know if I'm bisexual or simply lesbian…

I sleep with men and it's cool, however only women are on my mind. I only check girls out, only girls give me butterflies and I can only picture myself with a woman. But I enjoy dick and lesbian porn makes me dry (i hate how women are portrayed).

Anyone have gone through something similar?

No. 145845

>>145844
No you're still bi

No. 145850

Bisexuals never really talk about knowing they were attracted to girls since they were young. I remember my first schoolyard crush on a girl feeling exactly like the one I had on a boy, and they'd just kinda happen. It wouldn't be one then another, it'd just happen as I found a boy or girl that I found cute enough to want to play with at recess all the time in a Crush kind of way.

The comphet came more around high school, I dated boys and made my attraction to women more of a meme/joke, and I genuinely don't know why. As an adult now, I've dated and had sex with far more men (comes with being femme presenting, I think), but I still love women and the unique, special things that women bring to a relationship. I think I'll ultimately be happier settling down with a woman.

No. 145853

>>56468
>>145844
an answer to all these AM I BI OR LESBIAN!!?!? questions: it's a faux pas to talk about online, but bisexuality can be a stepping stone to lesbianism. if you end up exclusively dating and sleeping with women, then at that point, you are a lesbian. however, if you never date nor sleep with women and only date and sleep with men, then you are straight. if you have dated and slept with both male and female partners and will continue to do so, you are bi.

despite what thought-police twitterfags obsessed with discourse have to say, it's more about what you actually do than what you think. the oppression same-sex-attracted people experience comes from how they act, not what they think about, so labelling yourself should follow the same logic. for example, if you're 300 lbs and you simply fantasize about losing weight and being thin without ever actually doing anything, you're not suddenly considered a thin person, right? you're still just a 300 lb. fatty with dreams.

the reality is many people can view the same sex as attractive in some capacity or another and can fantasize about them, but gay thoughts do not a homosexual make. recognizing your desire is the first step, but actually acting on it is what defines you as homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual.

No. 145854

>>145853
So are you saying that if a bi woman marries a man she's straight, or that if she has had sex/dated women in the past but marries a man she still gets to claim bisexuality and vice versa? Galaxy brain.

No. 145855

>>145853
stupid take for stupid hoes

No. 145858

>>145854
> if you have dated and slept with both male and female partners and will continue to do so, you are bi.
>and will continue to do so
>continue
lrn2read

No. 145859

Did anyone else go to weird lengths to minimize their attraction to women? I've only come to terms with my preference for women this year (and I'm turning 23 soon), but it's been a fucking journey. TMI warning I guess.

Some bullshit I did:
>ease myself into it by first liking femboys as a teen, slowly adding masculine traits to my fantasies (body hair, angular male features, etc.)
>would begin masturbating to women, then switch to men to train myself to get off to them
>"well, I only like pegging and would hate to be penetrated…but hey, it's str8"
>at one point, men in my fantasies would only have an asshole and no genitals
>socially overcompensate by obsessing over men to increase pressure on myself to like them
>draw men often so that I'd find them more appealing with exposure

I'm still definitely bisexual, but it's funny how I somehow missed that I did all these (mostly) subconscious things for years. At least I never succeeded in dating a man, or else I'd be one of those anons stuck with someone I love but can never truly be satisfied with. I know I'd be 100% satisfied with a woman and never desire men again, but it wouldn't be the same with a guy.

>>145853
You're describing febfem, anon.
The difference is that a bisexual woman can still choose to be with a man and be relatively happy, but lesbians cannot. It's a privilege to have that choice and we can never have the true lesbian experience because of it.

No. 145861

>>145858
I did. You're saying bi people can't get married which is a fucking stupid thing to say. That was my point. Learn 2 understand sarcasm without the /s to hold your hand, retard.

No. 145864

>>145859
So you're saying that you're still bisexual but have a preference for women, anon, or you experience comphet so strongly that you can't accept being a lesbian? No judgement at all, it just sounds like men don't work for you, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Do you have a preference for feminine men when you date them because you like women, or was going through that process solely to "ween" yourself from the attraction to women?

No. 145870

>>145861
bi people can get married, of course, but if they will no longer continue to participate in homosexual relationships, they are effectively straight. they will not experience any of the oppression that people in homosexual relationships experience. what significance does your attraction to the same sex hold if you're married to the opposite sex? assuming you are faithful and monogamous, you will not act on it because you intend on being with your partner for the rest of your life, so it has no impact on you, your partner, your relationship, the world at large or societal treatment of you. you could describe yourself as previously bisexual if you have a history of romantic and sexual relationships with both men and women. truly, you can self-describe as whatever you want on an individual level– for many (but not all), sexuality is not as immutable as people insist it is– but when it comes to defining the term to create a protected class in the eyes of institutions, a bisexual person is someone who has the continuing intention of dating and having sex with same-sex and opposite-sex partners. you can't bestow or deny someone rights for what they think, only for how they act, which is why the label should be hinged on behavior and not simply attraction.

No. 145871

>>145853
So basically all virgins are asexual

No. 145873

>>145870
While I Am Not Actively Participating In Sex I Am Asexual

No. 145878

Why are bis so obsessed with the lesbian label

No. 145881

>>145878
We aren’t. We want to be bisexual.

No. 145889

I have knew since forever that I was bisexual, for a period of my life I thought I might be lesbian but then I grew out of it and accepted there were men I liked despite my hatred for them. Eventually I grew out of this too and now I have a steady relationship with a man, he lets me have relationships with women but I find out I’m not poly, after all.


I wish lesbians would stop come to this thread and spoil everything by being gatekeeping bitches, I had enough bad experiences with them irl and I am now wary of them.
How come we can’t go on lesbian thread but they can come here and bitch all they want? Fuck off

No. 145898

>>145837
tbh i'm the kind of person who doesn't talk about it IRL and just gets on with my life. personally i don't think sexuality is that complicated. what are you turned on by? bang, boom, gotcha. people who get all mad about the fact that bisexuals exist are wasting their breath and brainpower and making themselves miserable. that was my point.

No. 145899

>>145853
Gay thoughts that are consistent and persistent do actually make someone a homo. A closeted one but a homo nevertheless. It's not all about what you do, or people who are virgins would be asexuals which they are not by default. Orientation is about desire, not whether you have the courage/circumstance to act on it.

No. 145902

>>145899
Well said, might use it when people ask about this stuff!

No. 145909

>>145881
I sure see a lot who want to claim lesbianism

No. 145911

>be me, virgin saving sex for marriage, very "trad" from a young age
>have it in my head from the time i'm about 3 years old that i'll find my very much male soul mate as soon as i grow up and we'll live happily ever after forever
>exclusively crush on boys all throughout childhood, never even consider other girls as anything more than friends
>cannot emphasize enough that i'm obsessed with romance, all i ever do as a kid is fantasize about how wonderful it will be to be in love (with a man) and live like couples in movies like the notebook do
>and yet the first time i remember feeling aroused was when i was maybe eight and saw a woman taking off her bikini in a movie
>was super confused by the feeling, never felt what i now recognize as sexual attraction for the male actors i crushed on and daydreamed about marrying before
>try to replicate feeling by looking at shirtless men, can't do it
>all throughout puberty, exclusively get off to same-sex fantasies while maintaining the strictly straight happily ever after daydreams, never even considering women in a romantic way
>finally, fucking FINALLY, when i'm about 17, i learn to connect my emotional daydreams with my sexual feels and develop a sexual attraction for men
>it requires a lot more thinking and feeling on my part than the raw, innate sexual attraction i felt - and still feel - for women, but it feels just as good
>weirdly, can't replicate that emotional sexual attraction with women i'm physically attracted to, and what i feel for women begins to wane as attraction to men increases
>"okay, i guess i'm definitely straight - i guess that was just a phase"
>enter straight relationship, i'm happy while i'm in it and don't have any sexual thoughts about women at all, further validating my thoughts that i'm straight
>it ends badly, i see men for who they really are, all those daydreams i had about soul mates and true love are shattered
>sexual attraction to women comes back, but i'm still not emotionally attracted to them
>can't really experiment since i'm still saving myself for marriage, but i kiss a female friend while drunk and feel… nothing
>it feels like i'm kissing a family member, there's no sexual chemistry at all and my friend is freaking beautiful
>nothing like kissing a man, which always turns me on
>confusion ensues
i'm still not sure what the fuck i am - straight, bi, closeted lesbian who had to force her attraction to men? bisexual or homosexual but heteroromantic? i suppose it doesn't really matter since it'll work itself out eventually (fingers crossed), but i just wish i understood my feelings better. has anyone else here been in a similar situation?

No. 145913

>>145911
maybe you're bicycling? This happens to me but I bicycle much faster, usually on a monthly basis. One week i'll be like wtf maybe i was straight all along im so stupid and then the next week i'll be like okay that was weird never mind girls are hot again. It will make you feel crazy, and I don't have a solution.

No. 145920

>>145864
Yeah, I'm still bisexual since I do find appeal in men and their penises, it's just in a very odd way at this point (and a way that most wouldn't accept).
>Do you have a preference for feminine men when you date them because you like women, or was going through that process solely to "ween" yourself from the attraction to women?
I didn't date them, and I think it's a mix of both. The attraction that's there I tried to foster into being bigger.

I guess when it comes down to it I'm just too bisexual to be a lesbian but too into women to function in a straight relationship…

>>145911
Are you attracted to your friend? Even if she's conventional, that doesn't mean you specifically will be attracted to her.

No. 146152

File: 1596405480950.jpg (29.15 KB, 604x340, 1166293700503ni3.jpg)

99% sure i'm in love with my best friend, but i'm also not freaking out about it because i might just never tell her, i feel like i can't afford to lose her as a friend.
the dumbest thing is that i adore her, she's my pefect woman, beautiful and talented and funny and generous, she's also bi, we respect and appreciate each other the same amounts and she thinks i'm hot too. part of what motivates me in my current self-improvement drive is wanting to be cute and accomplished enough to be her girlfriend.
I wouldn't even know what to do if she kissed me, i might go into a coma. Why am I living in a cliche? what do i do???

No. 146159

>>146152
Are you both single? Has she shown any kind of signs of interest?

No. 146172

File: 1596413976230.png (40.42 KB, 594x437, eweseless.png)

>>146152
>she's bi
>also finds you hot
Anon pls
If you're that close she probably wouldn't want to lose the friendship either, even if she doesn't return the feelings. Make a move! I believe in you!

No. 146201

>>145911
Super unrelated, but the movie bit when you were 8 reminded me of when I saw the movie Monster as a child and for years afterwards I couldn't listen to Don't Stop Believing without thinking about Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci rollerskating and making out.

No. 146242

>>146172
Bi and les farmers, don't be like female sheep. Pounce.

No. 146306

Hey thanks for replies anons x

>>146159
We're both single and consistently disappointed in men. I'm not looking for a relationship right now cos i need to work on myself but actually I think it could work with her? Because she needs and wants the same thing??
By 'signs of interest' she's never made a concrete move, but she tells me she loves me all the time and tells me how hot i am when we're drunk. She asks me what to do when she's lonely and touch starved and i say 'make a hot water bottle' because i'm a coward.
Yes I do hear myself and i'm sorry.

>>146172
>she probably wouldn't want to lose the friendship either
I don't think she would and I respect her too much to be an asshole if she turns me down, but, I'm a coward.
She's also said she feels like she's outgrown all other friends except me, so I don't want to make her last friendship weird.
She's the first female friendship I've had in a long time and it's something I've always felt insecure about, so I want to enjoy it platonically for at least a bit longer.

>>146242
The dumbest thing is that I have next to no problem asking strangers for their numbers or otherwise being very forward, sometimes with women but always with men. I don't have any experience turning a friendship into a relationship.
How would I even do it???

No. 149105

File: 1598487914501.jpg (151.25 KB, 800x450, face.jpg)

>Last year, I lived in shared housing with this straight woman who I became incredibly close to and knew I was bi
>She would call me in the mornings to wake me up (I have insomnia), and would sometimes call me during the day too, just to talk.
>When she came back from work, we'd sit in her room together for hours, sometimes until 2am
>This was my reality everyday and I was okay with it because I was secretly into her
>However, she could be horrible
>She would constantly insult me and would occasionally throw things at me
>But I accepted it because she was hot
>One day, she randomly cut me off (despite still living together). I tried to fix things but that was that. She didn't explain why
>I accept it and eventually move out, still into this woman despite everything
>She randomly messages me the other month to apologise for everything that happened and says it wasn't my fault
>I still like her and I don't know why

No. 149116

I've only drunkenly hooked up with a friend but we've done it multiple times over the past few years. The first time it was exciting but I didn't really dwell on it. As time went on I realized I love being with a woman. I loved feeling her everywhere, eating her out, kissing and cuddling after….it's only been recently that I realized that liking girls was even an option for me. I'm in a long-term relationship with a man and I can't see us breaking up any time soon but I often think about being in a relationship with a woman these days.

No. 149118

I feel like I swing wildly between being exclusively same-sex attracted and being bisexual just for the sheer convenience of things. I know I'm not a lesbian, but the thought of dating a man sucks. It's what I'll most likely end up doing because of homophobic family members who I unfortunately love and want to stay close to. I've also been training myself to be into penetration for like 10 years so why give up now

No. 149187

File: 1598531779067.jpg (42.36 KB, 1069x1069, svk1pq3yc0051.jpg)

Does anyone go through periods where they prefer one gender for a while, and then switch to preferring the other, and like go back and forth? This happens often with me being mostly interested in guys for like a month then having all my attention on women, sometimes it makes me confused on whether I'm actually straight or a lesbian or if it's just normal for a bi person.

No. 149201

I had a couple of one night stands with women when I was younger and I've had crushes that I never acted on too. Apart from that though I've had two long term bfs that covered all of my twenties so I've never even gone on a date with a woman.

Now I'm single again, in my early thirties and tbh I feel like a phoney if I put myself out there to date women this 'late in life' Anyone relate?

No. 149207

>>149187
I do but I always figured it's just cause I'm bipolar.

No. 149211

>>149187
You're bicycling, welcome to the club. we all hate it here

No. 149213

>>149207
This reminded me of something that happened to me years ago. I had psych appointments every 3 months to check that my anxiety meds were working. At one of the appointments I met a brand new psych and was asked my sexuality. I answered straight because I was caught off guard and didn't want to discuss my sexuality. It really bothered me afterwards and I wished I had asked why they even needed to know.. 3 months later at an appointment with yet another stranger I'm asked again and I say lesbian just because I had my gf sitting in the waiting room so..

Well after that they spoke to me about how I had an 'unstable sense of self' and they were looking into possible personality disorder based on my changing answer. I don't want to disclose my sexuality to a new psch I met ten mins ago! but I also don't have the guts to refuse an answer lol

I still just have anxiety. Nothing thankfully came from it.

No. 149216

>>149187
Yes!
My bisexuality switch between "basically straight" and "basically a lesbian" like no end
I find no attraction to women when I'm "basically straight" and no attraction to men when I'm "basically a lesbian"
It's super weird and it always feels like a switch has flipped due to the absence of attraction I experience to those genders
It's super annoying!

No. 149238

>>149211
Bicycling huh. So there is a name for it and I'm not alone. I'm not always so extreme as other anons but sometimes I am and that is really annoying.

No. 149422

when I was a kid I was attracted to my best friend (a girl). I was also really attracted to evangeline lilly from lost, who looked like a brown haired version of my friend. then my brother told me you can't be a true christian and still be attracted to the same sex (our family is very religious). he had no idea that I had any same sex attraction though. so I prayed and prayed and prayed for my attraction to girls to go away, and it finally did. now I'm an adult and I'm starting to feel attraction towards women again but whenever I start to fantasize about a woman I immediately start to feel disgusted with myself, even though I'm not religious anymore. it's almost like I did conversion therapy on myself. I wish I could get rid of that feeling of disgust. I want to know what dating and sex with a woman is like, maybe even a serious relationship, but I know that even if I got over my own hurdles I have no idea how my family would react to me being in a same sex relationship. both of my parents are homophobic as fuck. I live in the US so being bi or lesbian is a little more acceptable here I guess, but I also wonder how lesbian and bi women deal with their sexuality if they live in a country where same sex marriage isn't legal and everyone is religious.

thanks for reading my whine lol.

No. 149435

am I bi if I think guys are cute but dicks are gross? (I mean I’ve never had sex before & idk if piv is for me either.)

No. 149442

constantly wondering if i'm actually bi or if the intense, nonstop sexualization of women makes me think i am

also constantly wondering why i question myself and why i care about the opinions of dykes who think i'm lying

No. 149443

>>149435
you can define yourself however you want but GENERALLY sexuality = your desire to have sex with someone.

if you would willingly have sex with the opposite gender + same gender you're bi. if you would willingly have sex with only the opposite gender you're straight. if you would willingly have sex with only the same gender you're gay.

No. 149446

>>149213
Lmao thinking you're straight then realizing you're gay wouldn't even mean you have a personality disorder, wtf? Change your psych imo.

>>149435
I mostly agree with the other anon but since you're a virgin it's hard to say. If you still think penises are gross after you've tried em then you can't be bisexual imo. True sexual attraction includes genitalia, at the very least one would be neutral to it.

No. 149461

>>149446
It was about a decade ago so I'm luckily no longer needing those services but yeah even if I'd given conflicting answers because of confusion around my sexuality.. Why pathologize a young person questioning their sexuality?

That psychiatrist must be losing her mind seeing all the new attitudes popping up around identity/sexuality and gender since then lol

No. 149464

>>149187
that shit always happens to me depending on what I'm watching/reading atm. I can see how it may be confusing but I've come to take it as a nice variation in thoughts, totally normal to think about who you want for as long as you want

No. 149481

>>149446

I wouldn’t mind pleasuring a guy. But it’s just the whole touching a penis thing that makes me gag a little. I feel so immature—maybe I just have a male genitalia issue. Vaginas are alright I wouldn’t turn away from touching one. I guess I just need to get over myself and see wether or not it’s for me.

No. 149509

>>149481
I felt pretty grossed out the first time a guy put my hand on his dick, I wasn't as ready as I thought I was and for a while my sex with guys didn't involve me actively doing anything with their penis before sex.. years later I'm still a bit 'meh' when it comes to playing with them but sex itself is still fine.

So I'm many years into being sexually active with men and still weirdly questioning because I suppose the attraction isn't the same compared to how much I want to hands on explore a woman.

No. 149517

>>149481
I'm the same way but reversed. I feel grossed out by the idea of touching a vagina, unless it was someone I was really, really into. I know I'm bi but I don't get why I feel this way and it seems immature af.

No. 149522

>>149517
I feel the same. I went down on a girl I was messing around with but wasn't massively attracted to and I felt a bit like 'this isn't so great', but with my proper girlfriend it was amazing and I loved doing it. Tbh I'd feel the same about dicks too, I think, but in my mind I feel eating a girl out is far more intimate because I know we have hang ups about our genitals and to me, if a girl lets me do that, it's kinda special. A dick is just a dick.

No. 149530

Every time my bf does something shitty I think "a girl wouldn't do this" lol. Like my bf chose free drinks over visitting me. Free booze? Sounds like a man right, but do you imagine a girl doing that? She'd never. I'd also never, personally. I'd rather drink wine with her. God if I break up with him I'm dating a girl. She can hurt me idc at least she won't do stupid men shit. I want to do her makeup, I want to kiss sweet girl's lips. I'll notice the perfume behind her ears and that she put new nail polish to be cute for me. I want to coordinate clothes for a date. I want my gf to whisper my name with trembling voice. I want to go down on a woman. I'm drunk and I will SO date a girl next. I feel like this need for a gf may be trouble if I won't break up but oh well. Maybe I'll be too wrinkly and ugly to fantasize about cute shit by then kek. But now when I imagined that, oh god, two old ladies holding hands, dressed in long flowy dresses? Same colours? Her kissing my hand while gazing into my eyes, wrinkled from laughing with her for years? I mean
Sorry for this post I'll at least sage

No. 149570

>>149530
Anon break up with your bf and date me instead. Let's do all of those things.

No. 149777

>>149530
You just have a shitty bf. I don't know why gender even comes into this? He as an individual is being a shitty partner. So shitty that you're fantasising about what it'd be like to have a non-shitty one lol

No. 149794

>>149777
Its the male socialization tm, men are more prone to be shitty partners because romanticism is never expected of them, heck more sensitive and romantic boys get bullied by other boys fot acting like “fags”.

No. 149799

>>149794
If a guy is being a shitty partner and you find yourself having the most elaborate fantasies about dating a better person..there's a solution to that.

No. 149814

>>149530
so hot i coomed to this pls post more smut pls femanon

No. 151273

I am bicurious, I have only dated men but i'm curious about dating a woman if they catch my attention or if they are interested in me, does anyone have an advice on developing a relationship with a woman?

also people who have religious parents, how do you deal with opening up to your parents about being bisexual?

No. 151275

File: 1600007728009.png (376.82 KB, 434x427, 1D3C2020-A578-4414-8087-6A462C…)

>>149814
eat shit and die scrote

No. 151289

>>151275
Loving this pic.

No. 151396

>>151273
sorry for the long post, but my only advice for finding other queer woman is to find someone bi, lol. being bicurious and sticking to bi women (especially those who are bi4bi) is easier tbh, because imo they’re way more likely to understand you and not take offence if you realise you’re not actually into women romantically. i’ve heard of way too many bi/bicurious girls being verbally abused by gold star lesbians who think all bi women are just straight women deep down, but def take this with a grain of salt because i’m pretty biased, lol.

tbh with the religious parents part it really depends. i’m guessing you mean heavily religious, more conservative religious parents? in which case - be ready to have your (potential) bisexuality invalidated and/or ignored, and be ready to deal with the bs stigma that comes with bisexuality (slutty, diseased, etc). most importantly, though, i’d really recommend looking out for yourself and prioritising your safety. if you don’t think it’s a good time to come out, don’t do it. if you don’t think it’s a good idea until you’re potentially in a serious relationship with a woman, then definitely wait. you know your parents best, though, so this might not be that helpful. good luck figuring everything out though anon!

No. 151403

Finally realized I'm bisexual after years of convincing myself I was a lesbian. I feel free but at the same time a bit guilty, like I was contributing to the idea that lesbianism is a phase. But I never came out to anyone during that time and still never have.

Tbh I'm not even sure if I'd date a woman, like I want to have children and get married and also I'd only be comfortable having sex with my spouse (call me a prude but I hate making myself vulnerable like that). Is anyone else the same?

No. 151408

>>151403
I’m married, love my husband, don’t care about other men, but I’m very much attracted to other women.

I think it’s mostly in a platonic way but I do have sexual fantasies. I’m kinda prude too but I find women a lot more sexually appealing than men, although I do enjoy sex with my male partner.

No. 151409

>>151403
>I want to have children and get married
…can't you do that with a woman, though?
But also no judgement since I essentially had the opposite realization that I'm very far from hetero and want to go for only women due to desire for a feminine partner.

Whatever is easiest to get what you want, anon. Sperm donor shit can be scary and adoption is hard.
(Also yeah, I could never do anything even polyamory-adjacent despite being attracted to so many people)

No. 151413

>>151403
congrats anon! and i’m also like militantly monogamous. thinking about and seeing poly stuff makes me cringe like mad tbh, i could never imagine doing it at all.

No. 151527

Hello bisexys

No. 151556

>>151409
I mean I want to have biological children with my partner. IMO donor shit is weird and I don't feel comfortable having some random dude's kid, or raising someone else's.

I'm very much sexually attracted to women but I feel like dating them would be a waste of time considering my desire for a family and to be protected. It's also frustrating to me that lesbian sex can't be 'mutual' in the same way that PIV or male-on-male PIA can be, which makes me worry that sex with another woman wouldn't be entirely enjoyable because I'd be really conscious of the fact that one of us wasn't feeling anything.
I mainly get off to my partner being pleasured so if I did have sex with a woman I'd probably be a 'stone top' which wouldn't be very satisfying to me. Also I really like penetration but a woman could only do that with a toy or with her hand which I could already just do on my own.

Sorry this delved into a huge paragraph about my sexual preferences lmao.

No. 151560

>>151556
Sure sounds straight in here

No. 151569

>>151556
straight get out

No. 151570

>>151569
>>151560
You're seriously calling me straight after I described how I'd have sex with a woman? LOL

I come from a very conservative religious household and repressed the shit out of my sexuality for years so sorry I'm not exactly banging women left and right. I thought I was a lesbian for a reason.

No. 151572

>>151570
Yeah you described how you wouldn't enjoy your hypothetical lesbian sex, don't worry it's ok to not be gay

No. 151580

>>151570
You described Sapphic sex and how much it disinterests/wouldn't satisfy you. How does that make you gay lol. I can talk about how I would have sex as a gay man, but that doesn't make me a gay man. It'd be one thing if you described and enjoyed it, but seeing as you don't want a partnership with women and the sex disinterests you, like? What are people supposed to think kek.

No. 151582

>>151580
>>151572
NTA but this is such a stupid excuse to gatekeep. People can be repressed/uncomfortable with certain sex acts for reasons other than sexual preference.

No. 151584

>>151580
>>151572

I didn't say I wouldn't enjoy it at all, I'm just saying that I'm worried (as someone who's a total virgin) having everything be one-way wouldn't satisfy me. Keep reaching though. Plenty of straight women are put off by PIV and that doesn't somehow make them asexual.

No. 151593

>>151584
>straight wimin that dont like PIV abloobloo
If those women also listed several other ways they hate the dynamics of a straight relationship, yeah I'd say they're either asexual or are gay in denial.

No. 151594

>>151582
Okay explain why she doesn’t want to even pursue a relationship with a woman because she can’t fathom a domestic life with one?
>>151593
Based queen

No. 151597

>>151556
>I'm very much sexually attracted to women
Everything you wrote after that was you bascially saying lesbian sex seems shit and not worth your time. Girl come on now.

If you can dismiss the idea of sex with women before you've ever even tried it.. go live your straight life and don't worry yourself about the 'what ifs' that you'll never even explore anyway.

No. 151616

I have dealt with one guy implying I'm not bi or "bi enough" because I don't objectify women like dudes do with locker room talk, and another guy who lowkey made me feel like I'm somehow lesser because "bi girls can leave for a woman" and that's bad but leaving for different/more dick is fine. Why can I not just be myself and how is this really that bad and different from the straight option? I don't feel "that bi" since I've had a guy preference for a while and been with a dude for ages but if things went south I had actively considered not dating men anymore.
I just am being reminded of how alone I feel sometimes and how I used to hate/doubt who I am over this. I used to doubt I was really in love with my ex because I didn't want to be bi, even though I was completely heartbroken when she left. I feel like it's totally natural for me to be open to whatever gender if I find the person attractive inside and out, and unnatural to make a big deal out of it. Being bi isn't a huge part of my life since I've been monogamous for so long, and I don't want to be one of those annoying girls with bfs who insert themselves into bi/~queer~ stuff, but I hate having to put up with the judgement. I just want to be without it being a big deal or having people push their assumptions on me instead of judging me for who I actually am personality wise.

No. 152393

>>151616
The problem is you're giving scrote's opinions WAY too much credit. That's it. Don't talk to them about your sexuality, don't argue in your head with their stupid soundbites that they've forgotten saying, don't try to convince them of anything. Straight men's opinions and your actions/feelings are a whole universe apart.
I say this as somebody who was very hurt when my ex boyfriend told me I wasn't 'really' bisexual because (at the time) I hadn't slept with any women. Then I realized he was just talking bullshit about things he knew nothing about, as usual. The kicker was that he was always extremely, confidently straight, AND I TOOK HIS VIRGINITY. He didn't need experience to confirm his sexuality, but I did apparently. He even said he wished he was bisexual because they 'had more options'. That should have clued me in to how little he knew about bisexuality.

Work out where the judgement is actually coming from, and learn not to care. If you're pre-judging yourself based on what you think others are thinking? Fine, you can just work on your insecurities. From cumbrained scrotes? Literally not even worth considering. Bitter gatekeeping lesbians? Not anything to do with you.

People will literally always be annoyed at you for being yourself, in any situation. You will always be misunderstood and disliked for reasons that are nothing to do with you, because people view the world through a lens of their own bullshit and issues.

No. 154437

>>154436
Is this like being a pickme but for dykes?

No. 154453

>>151556
>It's also frustrating to me that lesbian sex can't be 'mutual' in the same way that PIV or male-on-male PIA can be
How bad does your imagination have to be to think this?

No. 158444

May be a controversial question, but… what do other bisexuals think of FDS? Maybe it’s because I’ve never touched a dating app in my life but the advice they give people makes me nauseous. I can only think of it as a straight girl cope for people who wish they were gay or bi.

No. 158446

>>158444
I really find mileage varies from post to post, but generally FDS is better to read for entertainment than for any actual useful advice.

No. 158875

I've only ever dated men but I've almost exclusively masturbated to the thought of women for going on 20 years now. I play it off as meaning nothing. I had two ONSs with women when I was young and I similarly pretend like that never happened or like it doesn't mean anything. The denial is strong

No. 158877

>>158444
My understanding is that it was made for black women dating black men, and older women, who don't have the best dating prospects and were raised to often chase guys who treat them like shit. It wasn't made for nerds on imageboards getting into e-relationships.

No. 159069

>>158446
i think it could be good for women that just came out of a toxic relationship where they overextended themselves, but once you pull yourself up and start working on your boundaries and self-respect, i think you are done here. fds could be used for some improvement/advice, but it is not a place where you should spend several hours a day. use some of the advice and move on, since the self-improvement stuff they give is bare bones anyway

No. 159197

File: 1605029719959.jpg (105.17 KB, 764x1024, 7v3ig.jpg)

I have dated a woman once but it was years ago, since then I have only been with men. So Im feeling "new" in dating women. Should I try just sex first to feel more certain in my sexuality? Also I at least want the sexual experience so I dont have to be that woman who ends up with a husband and begs other women for threesomes.

No. 159206

>>159197
just state your casual sex/dating intentions beforehand and give it a try, if you feel comfortable with that. it is definitely better than trying to jump into serious relationships, if you are unsure.

No. 163171

Feeling nostalgic for my teen years, I have 2 cringy stories to share

> be 16

> following cute ana guy on tumblr who writes poetry and likes pop punk
> we meet up at a yellowcard concert
> first kiss during ocean avenue
> we were both sixteen and it felt so right
> date long distance for a few months but break up cause train tickets are expensive
> four months later
> following cute ana girl on tumblr who writes poetry and likes pop punk
> she goes to my school
> we date for a few weeks but i graduate and move away
> tell her i’m not ready for a long distance relationship and tell her about ana guy
> “oh you follow ana guy too?”
> we break up
> few months later
> ana guy and ana girl are long distance dating
> posting their cute couple pics all over tumblr and tagging me in every post
They broke up and they’re both still ana and with other ana people now, meanwhile I’ve become a fatass lol

> be 18

> study art & design history, dating only attractive guy in our year
> lesbian uni friend makes me join lgbt club
> spend most our time at events talking about our crush on INSANELY pretty girl from uni
> pretty girl best friends with my bf, i drag lesbian friends to the parties i know pretty girl is at
> pretty girl openly flirts with lesbian friend, with bf, and me
> friend has gf i have bf we decide our crush is innocent cause pretty girl is straight
> bf said she’s straight!
> lgbt soc event: random girl introduces her gf, oh no it’s pretty girl
> …
> gears turning in head
> pretty girl’s flirting with friend and me was SERIOUS?
> but then… pretty girl’s flirting with bf was SERIOUS?
> pretty girl’s gf dumps her cause she doesn’t like the friendship between her and my bf
> i ask bf why he said pretty girl is straight when he knows i have a crush on her, now the crush is embarrassing
> “oh i meant she’s straight like you”
> … i am not straight
> “no like you’re straight but wouldn’t mind kissing a girl cause it’s hot”
> we break up and he sleeps with pretty girl within 2 weeks after the break up

No. 163172

>>163171
So many missed opportunities for threesomes

No. 163176

>>163172
If only teenage me hadn’t been so fucken insecure kek

No. 163189

I randomly hooked up once with my good friend in college. I ate her out and finger fucked her. I have no idea where that came from because I was always straight, but after that experience I had a big mental breakdown, started drinking heavily, and dropped out of college. I identified as gay for awhile but I’m married to a cis male now and I still think about women (and my friend in college) to this day, lol.

No. 163422

>>163189
never could understand why bi people have so many issues with coming out. It seems like lesbians have a better time discovering themselves

No. 163911

>>163422
Because being bi isn't as cut and dry as "I will never be sexually attracted to men, therefore my family and friends will have no choice but to get over it at some point." There's always the pressure, a lot of times perceived, to get married to a man and have kids with only him. And it's like, you're not straight so you're still an outsider to that culture, too. It will never fit you like a glove the way it will for actual straight people.

The irony is that straight man + bisexual woman is a terrible fucking combo.

Being bisexual is like being an alien when you realize the truth is that the vast majority of people are literally only attracted to one sex or the other and can't imagine doing both. Anyway as time goes by I accept the possibility of giving my parents a stroke by ending up with a woman. Men are a chore to deal with, and my past experiences with male retardation have left me becoming less and less sexually attracted to them. I wonder how much of the "bi woman ends up with a man" thing has to do with major insecurities anyway.

No. 164218

i'm female exclusive, but not for political/radfem reasons or anything, but simply because men in my area are just so damn unattractive, whether physically or personality wise, and i don't trust LDRs. Then again, I'm more forever alone than anything, the w4w dating scene here is just so bleak, even tinder here is nothing but straight girls looking for platonic friends

No. 164543

>>164218
samefag but don't know where to ask this: why are most of my female fantasies pretty vanilla tier, yet still more satisfying than the coomer shit i get with males?

No. 164548

>>164543
because pussy-to-pussy is taboo enough!

No. 167928

Any tips for getting into dating women? I'm planning to be female exclusive, I can't help my attraction but I would just rather date women. I don't know how to flirt or signal that I'm interested.

No. 168587

>>56474
i have a girlfriend now

No. 170804

bumping the thread for anon in the lesbian thread. honestly i really want a girlfriend right now, also so i can get all the husbandos off my mind. i feel like dating a woman might distract me even more from fictional men than a man would? never actually dated either tbh.

No. 170806

Why do some women pretend to be bi? I wish I could understand because it causes a lot of heartache (if that's the right word) and general difficulty for those of us, either bi or lesbian, who genuinely want to be involved with girls.

No. 170808

>>170806
I think it’s mostly pickmes wanting to appeal to men and a lack of understanding around female sexuality in general. Women are bombarded with images of attractive women, and we tend to see things through a male gaze because that’s the dominant view. It’s not surprising that many women get genuinely confused.

No. 170811

>>170806
It could be that they are actually bi but shame or internalized misogyny makes them only date men. And some just want the attention for thinking boobs look nice I guess.

No. 170812

>>170811
This. Women who find other women attractive are just obviously not blind. If they don't seek out relationships with women they aren't gay. The whole pure sex appeal shit is clearly male gaze.

No. 170817

>>168587
good for you!!!

No. 170843

File: 1612758903899.jpeg (166.31 KB, 720x1039, 216A3759-6C9D-46D0-8A2F-40E1AF…)

>>163171
It’s pretty weird to say ana when what you mean is thin. Also might just be me but super thin body types on both men and women are just as gross to me as fat fucks. I like women to be the lower end of a normal BMI or higher end of normal if they have cute af faces and cute little boobs. And ofc my own celeb crush aka handsome picrel has a dad bod.

Some people mentioned trans people and I find FTMs so attractive, don’t know how anyone couldn’t like them tbh.

No. 170858

>>170806
Some of them do it for clout chasing, especially if they are in a very liberal environment like art. They tend to be young people though, hopefully they grow out of it.

>>170843
>don’t know how anyone couldn’t like them tbh
Because they tend to be neurotic messes who only care about gender shit.

No. 170861

File: 1612770719908.gif (921.44 KB, 245x320, If I don't fight, I can't win_…)

God i want to shove my face in some pussy

I never liked the idea of dating girls, even when I realized I want to fuck them. Part of it is that I like cock too much, but I think its also because I've developed feelings for female friends before that I always suppressed as soon as I felt them… Like for example, I'm with my pal and I think damn she looks good in that dress… NO! BAD ANON! THATS YOUR FRIEND!

It's like I can't be emotionally close with a female and attracted to her at the same time. One of my best friends, man, there's something there but I just can't let those feelings blossom, thats a boundary I can't push. And she's also bisexual but that just makes it worse. Just the thought of touching her or being romantic with her repulses me because I can't see her in that way. But there's something there! I fucking hate this. Why can't I catch romantic feelings for a random girl who isn't my friend? Not that I want ti meet new people. I have a male fwb and that's enough for me, for now. God. This post started out as a rant about wanting to eat pussy then I had my epiphany of why I dont want to date girls.

I've never even fucked a girl before. Ive just made out with them at a sleepover once, but I was like 13 so that doesnt count. I've been doubting my bisexuality because I have no real experience and no desire to have a girlfriend but THATS starting to change too… Just yesterday I was thinking about how comfy it would be to chill in my imaginary girl's room and doing whatever…


Sorry for this rambling mess but I can't tell anyone else about this. I just need to fuck a girl to confirm that I really like them and I'm not just a bored straight girl.

No. 170862

Samefag, I've asked my male fuckbuddy for a threesome with another girl and he said no. Just. LMFAO. Now i know how males feel when they beg their women for threesomes. Not that i wouldnt fuck a girl outside of a threesome but i genuinely want to have one. His reasoning? Hes so ugly it would take forever to find someone. Which is true.

No. 170868

>>170862
Why are you with such an ugly guy?

No. 170872

>>170862
If he's just a fuck buddy then I can't imagine why you're even fucking around with him. Ugly bfs are a thing but fwbs kinda need to be attractive and somewhat sexually compatible.. Asking uggo to fulfil a fantasy with you and getting turned down… Nice, Why bother?

No. 170904

anyone else used to be convinced she was a lesbian at first? hell, i'm sure all my real life acquaintances think i'm gay despite never coming out to anyone, except for my family who are stil convinced i'm straight. the funniest thing is that it was video game characters who made me question my lack of attraction towards men. seriously.

No. 170944

>>170904
>anyone else used to be convinced she was a lesbian at first

Me. Came out as gay at 12 and went through the whole bullying thing with a group of girls in school, didn't fuck any men until I was mid 20s, went through the whole bullying thing again with a group of bi women who didn't like that I hadn't fucked men. My family still thinks I'm gay and I haven't told them I'm bi because I don't actually want to end up with a man which I know is what they will expect if I do.

No. 170955

>>170904

yeah, i only really felt attraction to real girls and the vague idea of men until i turned 18. but my bisexuality is so bipolar that i doubt ill ever be able to hold another relationship again lmao

No. 170972

>>170868
I caught (sexual) feelings for him. He's not a hideous swampmonster but not my usual type either. I guess I shouldn't have called him ugly since I do like him but I'm just being honest.
>>170872
Because I like him? We're pretty sexually compatible and I enjoy his company. And yeah its pretty pathetic getting rejected for a threesome but I dont care. I just find it funny that people latched onto me having an uggo fwb when that's the only positive part of my post.

No. 170999

Is it really normal to go from having an interest in a sex and then not wanting anything to do with it? I felt like I was the only one and often questioned myself in every relationship.

No. 171019

>>170999
It's annoying but normal, at least for me. Hormonal and mental health changes do it for me, this is such dusty advice but have you ever tracked your cycle, most women have peaks of horny in set times during their cycle, mine is right around ovulation.

No. 171024

>>170972
> I just find it funny that people latched onto me having an uggo fwb when that's the only positive part of my post.
You're not making alot of sense. Fucking an ugly guy is a positive?

And latching onto what? People commenting on details you provided is how discussions work.. gotta love how weirdly defensive some anons will get over an admittedly ugly no-strings scrote lol

No. 171026

>>170944
>bi women who didn't like that I hadn't fucked men

Is this a thing? I was shit on by bi women (and lesbians) for dating a boy at the time but why would they care if you dont fuck men?

No. 171038

>>171026
Because we live in a homophobic society and it’s generally frowned upon to be a woman with no experience with men, and les/bi women are not exempt from this type of thinking because of how we’re raised

No. 171045

>>171038
But women are shamed for having sex with men as well. I guess you cant win. However bullying sucks, no matter the reason.

No. 171272

>>171024
Because it was a minor minor part of my post, I shouldn't have included it at all because its irrelevant to the rest of my post, which is about how intimacy with girls scares me and I'm suppressing my feelings for my best friend which I have to deal with every time I talk to her or see her and its torture. So yes having an uggo scrote I can use to satisfy my sex drive whenever I want is pretty positive compared to everything else I wrote.

No. 171274

File: 1613003382859.jpeg (72.36 KB, 1125x596, 67684582-E022-4AF5-96E8-702723…)

I’m curious what the people ITT think of the Kinsey scale and where they’d put themselves on it. I would personally put myself at about 4

No. 171276

>>171274
i'll be fair and say i'm a 5. only because…
>attracted to andro 2D men.

No. 171277

>>171274
I also put myself around a 4.

No. 171285

>>171274
5. I also think very few people are true 0s or 6s, a lot more people have bisexual tendencies than they think.

No. 171312

>>171285
I feel like I’ve moved from a 5 to a 4 but it’s confusing because I’ve seen people who claim to be 5 talk about having babies from relationships, like? One thing I feel is I could never be happy in a relationship with a man. FWB is the most I want.

No. 171315

File: 1613050517577.png (276.92 KB, 3328x1155, 2.png)

>>171274
I did the online test right now. It's a 2. Yep, that feels just right.

No. 171318

File: 1613051011298.jpg (65.58 KB, 474x674, tatsu.jpg)

>>171274
I thought I was a 3 and got 3 using this test. However I don't see myself ever marrying a scrote unless he acts like a devoted house husband. Women just seem like way better marriage material because of sexist gender roles.

>>171285
At least I think a lot of "straight" people are actually bi, especially men who often don't dare to admit it.

No. 171320

i'd say i'm about a 4.5? when it comes to men, 98% of those i find attractive are video game characters, but damn if i don't get horny over them. but i find all kinds of women (acquaintances, celebrities, fictional) attractive.

thoughts on the "all women are bi, but no men are" thing? personally i think it's bullshit

No. 171325

>>171274
I got a 4.

I’m more often attracted to women. I mostly fantasize about women. But they are almost always straight.

Slept with a butch woman but wasn’t super attracted to her personality. Same going to lesbian bars, I never attracted the type of women I like. Only once have I met a lesbian who I was 100% about who liked me. The timing didn’t work out at all, but I still think about her years later. Like I have no way of even talking to her now and I want to punch myself in the face.

Mostly I’ve had relationships with men. I’m not at all attracted to very masculine men, and I’m pretty happy with the men most straight women reject. So it makes homosexual dating extremely easy for me.

If more women were gay and my family more accepting of homosexual relationships, I would easily be exclusively with women. Oh well, c’est la vie.

No. 171331

>>171320
There are plenty of bi men. Lots of them don’t even know it and continue to call themselves straight despite wanting to do stuff like frot with MTFs and suck their dicks.

No. 171335

>>171320
I've always told bfs that I'm super open minded..as a result of that (kind of lie) I've had enough of them open up to me about both fetishes and how they fucked a guy once. Even male friends, fucking roommates have opened up to me (and apparently nobody else) about a once-off gay fuck or a male fuck buddy they kept a secret from everyone

That's what I think is happening, alot more of that than we know of

No. 171343

>>171331
This is true. I've also had past "straight" male friends and exes open up to me and say they would fuck a MTF or femboy/trap as long as they're feminine enough. You can even see this on 4chan where people love to argue that it's still straight to fuck guys as long as you're on top.

No. 171410

>>171335
I have kind of a thing for bi men but my understanding is a lot of women don't. I wish they'd be more open about it but I totally get why they're not.

No. 171413

>>171410
An awful lot of the secretive bi experiences I've had shared with me were affairs. In a way I can see how they were driven to be secretive but being secretive WHILE dating someone already makes it this incredibly shitty (and health risking) thing for the woman which in turn will make her distrust bi men if the guy is caught. It's such a mess but men messing around with crossdressers and other men sometimes feel entitled to cheat because they use that shaming as a way to justify it to themselves.

Being open would help fix that weird cycle of it creating distrust and being used as the most messed excuse to fuck around, but I think men will stay in their comfort zone of having an unaware gf and just hitting up Grindr the odd time while 'working late'

No. 171414

>>171320
I think it's just that male homosexuality is more taboo, I know loads of "straight" men who are also attracted to other men, but don't act on it or keep it on the downlow to avoid homophobia from future partners/friends/family/workplace

No. 171417

>>171274

I guess I would be a 3 but I dont really like the use of Kinsey scale as Kinsey also researched "children's sexuality" by letting pedos abuse children:

https://spotlightonabuse.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/kinseys-paedophiles/

No. 171430

>>171414
Not a bi anon, but dudes who lie about their sexuality in a relationship are usually cheating.

No. 171699

Does anyone else worry they're "not bi enough"? I know it's stupid but somehow I always feel wrong for having a same sex lean and have to remind myself that plenty of bi men prefer women too, it's especially bad when most places seem to focus on women who prefer men.

No. 171705

>>171699
I have never dated or had sex with a woman which makes me feel inadequate as a bi woman, but the fact that I've never done either with a man doesn't bother me, it's really strange.

No. 171772

>>171699
>>171705
yes, i feel the same as both of you! it’s a really weird situation and i feel as if it’s something i’ve internalised solely through outward expectations that other people have placed upon me. it’s difficult to manoeuvre, especially as an extremely monogamous bi woman in a relationship - even when i get past the whole ‘you’re a fake bi’ stuff, i get oddly sad about the fact i might not get the chance to ever fall in love with and be with a woman. it’s weird but it’s good to know i’m not alone!

No. 171871

File: 1613492782458.jpeg (1.05 MB, 828x1102, AA099747-29B0-4E8F-9AFB-BAF2AD…)

Would a bi only dating app be a good idea? I kind of like the thought of it

No. 171873

>>171871
>because lesbians are really mean to us sometimes
jesus christ
but as long as they also ban couples and straight men i don't see a problem with it

No. 171877

>>171873
People would probably say it was “exclusionary” if they banned straight male/bi female couples

No. 171883

>>171871
>’bi plus’
this specific thing looks corny as fuck but i would use a bi only app since i’m only interested in dating other bisexuals anyway. it would be an absolute nightmare though - it would be swamped full of freaks in less than a week. bisexual women especially don’t have any spaces online that aren’t invaded by self-hating ‘pansexuals’/dykes that end up appropriating our spaces/fucking men or str8 women trying to get us to fuck them so this would be no different. it’s nice in theory tho!

No. 171885

>>171873
>but as long as they also ban couples and straight men

This, and banning troons, would be the key to a good app.

No. 171887

>>171883
>dykes that end up appropriating our spaces/fucking men

I don’t really know what this means but personally I think bi only spaces and lesbian only spaces are a good idea and don’t understand why people are so opposed to the thought of them. It’s not like it means we can never mix, just that we have our own spaces too. But of course even the lesbian thread on here is full of bi women in denial. As for bi men, I feel they can be more similar to straight men than woketards like to assume, but I’d still be interested in sharing an app with them as long as they were genuine.

No. 171889

>>171871
Her exists. If a lesbian isn’t interested in a bi girl they just swipe left. This is one of the stupidest things I’ve seen in a long time.

No. 171890

>>171887
what i meant is that lesbians often appropriate spaces bisexual women build for ourselves so we can talk about our attraction to both men and women without being shamed or judged. they’ll invade the communities we create and purposely focus on how you can only REALLY be gay if you only focus on how much you like women, and shame us for our attraction to men until we feel too ashamed to acknowledge that side of bisexuality.

why do you think the lesbian general on here is so full of bisexual women who refuse to admit they're bi? men are shit but we’re still allowed to find them sexy, and there are no spaces online where we’re free to express this without some annoying dyke popping up to be like IMAGINE BEING ATTRACTED TO MEN LMAO or whatever.

No. 171893

>>171890
I’m not shaming you. I’m bi and like men too obviously, I’m not trying to argue here.

No. 171897

>>171871
I have actually downloaded some bi app, but it had like 5 users in my country.

also
>cuffing
Do any of you actually do this or are they just trying to make it into a thing? Im just glad bis dont have any stereotypes about looks as we already have enough of "confused greedy sluts" ones.

No. 171902

am i the only one here who only wants to date other bis? i realize that's limiting my dating pool by a lot but i'm in no rush to find someone and it's what i feel most comfortable with tbh

No. 171905

>>171902
No, I only want to date other bi people too. I don’t even think we’re limiting ourselves that much, the lesbian dating pool is much smaller. I would hate to end up with a straight man, it wouldn’t feel right to me at all.

No. 171921

>>171890
>woman who frequents terf imageboard is also homophobic

not sure what i was expecting, tbh

No. 171929

>>171921
Nta, terf doesn't mean homophobe, most likely terfs are lesbian and bi women.

No. 171974

I have been talking to this woman online for a month and we are going to finally meet friday. So exited!

No. 171975

>>171921
By your own retarded logic, she's also heterophobic.

No. 171981

>>171890
>what i meant is that lesbians often appropriate spaces bisexual women build for ourselves
Isn't it usually the other way around? Why would lesbians barge into bi spaces when they're annoyed by men talk?

No. 171983

>>171981
all this talk about "appropriation" is idiotic. bisexual women and lesbians didn't even use to be clearly defined separate categories until very recently

No. 171986

>>171981
That anon has some kind of chip on her shoulder. I’ve literally not seen lesbians do that and I’ve been out since I was 12.

No. 171992

File: 1613580523270.jpg (65.87 KB, 1200x673, sad-sonic-the-hedgehog-1200x67…)

>parents be like "your future husband, or wife, whatever it's [current year]"
>take this as a sign they are ok with me potentially not being straight
>drop more and more hints i'm bi as the days go on, but not actually come out
>parents be like "your future HUSBAND", emphasis on husband, no longer mentioning wife
is this a common experience? should i even bother to come out to them?

No. 171995

>>171992
When I was in my last relationship (3 years with a guy) my dad could not stop dropping hints that he's okay with gay people. He was a bit homophobic when I was growing up so I guess it was nice to see him change with the times lol

Since that relationship ended… he has stopped saying all that shit. I feel way more of a need to open up about this now that I'm not locked into what I thought would be a possibly 'forever relationship'. Great, now that the need to open up is here.. he's awfully quiet about gays. I feel your frustration.

No. 172004

I'm often afraid to date lesbians because I feel like a lot of them worry I'm a poser who's wasting their time. Not all of them intentionally project that feeling obviously, but ever since hearing a few lesbians complain about it, I can't help but feel bad.

I prefer other bisexuals (male or female.) I feel like it's easier to be on the same page that way. Obviously If I ever met a straight men or gay woman I really clicked with, I would give it a try still, but for some reason I just think finding people is easier within our own community.

No. 172007

>>172004
What do you think of lesbians who prefer to date other lesbians? It seems hypocritical that some of us bitch about that when we also prefer to date other bis

No. 172009

>>171992
My mom thinks I’m a lesbian cause I came out to her at 17 before realising I was bi. Now I’m worried to come out again because I know she hasn’t been the most accepting of gay people in the past (I do feel she’s grown a bit since then though) and I don’t want her to think I’ll end up with a husband and give her grandkids.

No. 172010

>>172007
I totally understand why lesbians would only want to date other lesbians. I touched on this before, but they relate to each other better because they're part of the same little community. So long as they just have a preference for each other and aren't disparaging bi women, I don't care what they do.

I don't really take any romantic preferences personally. I like when people are up front about that sort of thing.

No. 172016

I personally feel if someone has a lot of negative impressions of me because I am bisexual that I would rather they be vocal about that so I could make the informed decision not to get close to them. I don't mind that a much as if they were staying in my life and keeping that secret resentment for me.

No. 172017

>>172016
Is this really so common? Maybe I just never hear about it cause pretty much my entire circle is bi

No. 172260

>>171992
I told my mom once that I was bi (or rather she asked me if was attracted to both men and women) and for a while she said "boyfriend or girlfriend" like yours, and the other day she said something like "whoops wrong gender, you're not attracted to women anyway". I think she has completely forgotten about it, since I'm a schizoid autist I don't date, so I'm not really open about my sexuality, but still it stings to see she doesn't really listen to me. I've also always been very vocal about never getting married and having kids since early childhood, to which she was always supportive, but recently she's been saying things like "never say never, you don't know what can happen", which always gets on my nerves. If I ever date a woman I'll never tell her (or my dad for that matter), I know she doesn't like lesbians and my parents don't want to understand what bisexuality is at all.

No. 172509

Started having sex dreams about a straight friend I'm not even attracted to.

But I have had multiple now to the point where I feel awkward talking to her.

No. 172591

>>172010
Same thing. I totally get it, even if it makes me sad that my dating pool is tiny as a bi woman who only wants to date women. I've know a few bi men who only want to date bi people (men or women) for similar reasons but never a bi women who only wants to date bi people, for whatever reason. Just a lot of bi women who only date men because it's easier.

No. 172803

Does anyone here wish they were more straight leaning? I’m probably a Kinsey 4 and have only dated women but find myself feeling pressured to show more attraction to men because I worry bi women who do prefer men don’t respect me. As another bi anon said in the lesbian thread right now it seems that straight leaning bis are the most vocal and the discussion often revolves around men and idk I wish either I could be different or things in general could be different in that I knew more bi women with a same sex preference.

No. 172804

>>172803
sorry in advance for a long and corny reply but i can't really answer your question properly because though i'm more interested in women, i'm currently in a relationship with a bi man. i did just wanna say though that i don't think you need to worry too much about bi women with a male preference judging you or having any negative feelings about you - i have a mix of bi friends who lean either way in terms of preference, but there's no judgement or anything like that. i think it's easier to bond over our shared experiences than it is to nitpick our differences in things like gender attraction or whatever. from my experiences, i've also seen the opposite from bi women with a preference in men - they tend to worry a lot that bi women with a preference for women will judge them for being 'bihet' or whatever that stupid phrase is, so i hope that helps in making you feel a little less under a microscope to know that it's a shared experience. i hope this doesn't come off as me trying to be like 'oh well who cares lol everyone feels that way' - definitely not what i'm trying to do!

also, your point about much of the discussion in bisexual female spheres surrounding men is really interesting, and it's not something i've realised before. i assume it tends this way because it's hard to distinct ourselves and form our own community away from lesbians by talking solely about women, but so much of the discourse in bi spaces also revolves around men (like 'you're still bi if you've only been with men or if you prefer men!') because of the general LGB discourse that tends to label bisexuals as 'not gay enough'. in general, i'm also sorry that you feel excluded because of this - i feel like that's something really important that i've never seen discussed in bi spaces before, and i hope it's focused on more.

No. 172806

I would say my feelings lean more towards women, but I live in a shitty small town so men are just easier to date. I love the man I'm with but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on experiences with women. The only women that show interest in me are curious straight girls that I'm not attracted to. Even girls that I thought were just good friends end up trying to use me to get off after a couple drinks. I've had sex with a few women, but only had serious relationships with men. The imposter syndrome is real sometimes.

No. 172842

I feel kind of gross or wanting to do sexual things to other women. like, I can fantasize about having sex with women in my head who don't really exist, but wanting to have sex with women in real life feels really wrong and dirty to me for some reason.

No. 172955

>>170861
nonny i think u just have some internalized homophobia OR just anxiety about ruining friendships. i was in love w my best (female) friend for years and never told her, it crushed me, and made me try to push down my feelings for girls in the future. the next time i made a close female friend and was attracted to her, i ignored and suppressed it for over a year bc i thought it would be the same painful situation. i had the same feeling of revulsion and 'no you can't think she's hot that's bad'
then she asked me out and the fact that id had feelings for her all along hit me like a brick and now we're in love & live together lmao
sorry for blogpost but i think you should accept and allow ur feelings for girls! you're not a creep or weird for crushing on a friend or thinking she's hot in a dress. just let urself feel it! maybe something will come of it! even if it doesn't, you didn't do anything wrong and there's no need to suppress ur feels

No. 172977

>>172842
Sounds like internalized homophobia

No. 173060

>>172804
I don’t really feel comfortable in a lot of bi spaces because there are so few of us who prefer women imo and I worry that if I was more vocal about it I’d be pigeonholed as a “mean lesbian”. While it’s unintentional a lot of the discourse makes me feel like there’s something seriously wrong with me for not wanting a relationship with a man… I would want a male FWB but the thought of passing as a straight girl makes me feel gross. But then at the same time I get jealous of girls with boyfriends because of how normal it is. I knew I wasn’t straight when I was 12 and never had this problem until a few years ago. I hope none of this sounds whiny either, I’m just like… wtf do I do kek

No. 173067

>>173060
>>172803
I kind of understand? Wish I was full les though since women are awesome. Just feels like I'm in a weird limbo where my experience isn't fully bisexual since I never intend to engage with men but I'm not a lesbian because I have fantasized about males in the past.
In the past I felt the reverse and tried super hard to focus on men so that I could finally "fit in" to normie society in some way, but could never make the leap into actually touching one because my feelings evaporate. Now I've come to terms with my preference, but feel weird when other bis mention men.

But like >>172804 said the bisexual experience is really variable. It's just as confusing to everyone, I think, except maybe the true 50/50's.

No. 173068

>>173067
I wouldn’t wanna be full les. I think the way they’re treated in uwu queer circles is especially bad right now and I’m kind of relieved I can say I’m bi and hopefully not be shit on as much for it or questioned about trans issues. I didn’t sleep with any men till recently and tbh the way people treat you for it is terrible. If I could go back in time I’d fuck men from the beginning because I want that sense of belonging so much. It’s messed up. I still feel like if I make a real effort I can become a 50/50 bi which is truly a fucked up way of thinking, I want it though.

No. 173147

>>173060
This is why I avoid bi spaces. 100% bi and like men too but since it's a bi space sometimes the men tend to become more vocal and screech because they're not getting enough attention or whatever. I also hate the "everyone is valid" midset there tends to be.

Not fully related to what you posted but I feel like I had ro vent sorry

No. 173150

unpopular opinion in certain places i guess but no, straight people shouldn't be in lgb spaces even if dating a bi person

No. 173152

>>173150
Is that really unpopular? I mean it makes sense, they're not lgbt. Allies are important but they also don't really belong.

No. 173156

another unpopular opinion, but insisting bisexual people have to label their preferences so others can figure out how "gay(or straight)-adjacent" they are is just rehashed "pick a side" rhetoric. same for the bihet vs febfem dichotomy i keep seeing lately

No. 173327

>>173156
Preferences often come up in discussion so it can be hard to avoid especially when a lot of the discourse is focused on women who prefer men.

No. 173330

>>173327
the main problem in the preference (whether for males or females) discourse is that it's assumed that preferences are always obvious and always static. let's use myself as an example, while my attractions and fantasies towards women have been more intense and satisfying, attraction towards men happens more often quantity-wise. basically i've been attracted to more men than women, but more intensely to those women that to the men. and i'm not even sure i'm always going to be like that, i knew was attracted to women way before i knew i was attracted to men but recently i've been having a lot of fantasies about men. i have yet to do anything sexual with either sex. how would any of you consider this, male or female preference?

No. 173344

>>173330
It can also be difficult to find other women open to relationships depending on where you live. I used to live in an ultra religious bumfuck town and nobody was really “out.” I only knew one other bi girl and two older gay guys, that was it.

Times have changed a lot, but many small towns are still the same. Even if your family is fairly accepting, there is a lot of pressure to be “normal,” ie date men.

No. 173412

>>173344
exactly. there is this misconception that all "bihets" (a word which doesn't even have a coherent definition kek) live in perfectly acepting progressive areas and have a wide range of out lb women to choose from to date but they just don't want to because they prioritize men. does this describe some bisexual women? definitely, but not all or even most of us worldwide.

No. 173506

>>173150
Do you also think lg should have their own spaces, not even bis dating them there?

No. 173515

Unpopular opinion:
I don’t care if lesbian does not want to date me because I’m bisexual. It’s her loss.

No. 173540

""""bihet"""" isn't even a thing. it's just sapphics are rare as shit, much less a sapphic you vibe with both sexually and emotionally/mentally so a bisexual woman is most likely to end up with a man. It's just a numbers thing.

No. 173546

>>173540
idk anon. Hetero-leaning bisexuals definitely exist, sometimes to the point where they wouldn't even want to date a woman.

But yeah, unless you choose to be febfem, dating in some places will force you to end up with a man. That's why lesbians in LDR's is such a meme. When I considered men, I'd just talk to dudes in my classes, but now I become mutuals with a gay girl in a different country and think "wow, we're on the same continent…….could she be The One?"

No. 173792

Have you came out? I havent to my family, my friends know but maybe they even remember because I have had boyfriends for the past years. But if things get serious with the woman I am dating, I will have to do it. Makes me slightly nervous.

No. 173797

>>173792
I told my parents I had a crush on a girl, but I didn't specify I was bisexual so they might thing I'm a lesbian? they also thought I was joking

No. 173801

>>173540
If bihets aren't real and "sapphics" are rare, why bisexual women don't date each other then? And bisexual women are not "sapphics" anymore?

No. 173802

>>173801
that doesn't make sense. even including bisexuals, there are still far more straight and bi men in the world than lesbian and bi women

No. 173841

>>173801
learn proper english before you try to argue about dykey propaganda about 'bihets' in the bisexuality thread, esl-chan

No. 173845

>>173841
DA obviously and while I don’t agree with them you’ve obviously got a chip on your shoulder about lesbians and need to drop the pathetic homophobia. I know this isn’t the first time you’ve ranted about “the evil dykes” in this thread

No. 173858

Will the homos and the hets ever stop seething about bisexuals I wonder. Brain worms.

No. 173869

I don't even care that much about (some) lesbians disliking us, they already have their own struggles to deal with and the tensions usually come from mutual misunderstandings, but I've been seeing more and more "lesbian" troons shitting on "cis bihets" and it really makes my blood boil.

No. 173872

>>173858
Every single time you try to get to the root of their issues, it comes down to personal insecurity and jealousy. It's pretty funny. Monosexuals will always be pressed and obsessed.

No. 173875

>>173801
The struggle to find a woman who is attracted to other women and is attracted to you is real.
There's so much distance between us.

Moids are disgusting and they groom girls.
Of course women end up dating more moids because of how men fucking behave.
Men actively chase women, they're upfront and they're many. With women dating women you have so much homophobia and it's just hard to find one like I said.
It's not a girl not wanting to date other girls issue.

No. 173909

>>173869
I think that is mostly funny because bisexuals are pretty much their only dating pool. Good luck trying to get that cis lesbian lmao.

>>173797
Yeah I never told my parents because I feel like they wont get bisexuality and will just label me as a lesbian if Im with a woman. At least I know my mother is okay with homosexuals, father might be dissapointed but that is his problem then.

No. 173916

>>173909
yes, but openly bisexual women also obviously like men, which to troons means bi women might like them as men, which is oh-so-invalidating. the only good wooloowoos to them are spineless bisexuals who larp as lesbians to validate their womansonas

No. 173919

>>173916
I guess it is like the androphilic troon fantasy of a 100 % straight guy who is usually not into trannies but wants them as his tradwife. Like the person they want is not who they are attracted to but who validates their identity.

No. 173921

>>173919
>the person they want is not who they are attracted to but who validates their identity.
This is actually true. They start liking straight men because to be desired by them makes them feel uwu feminine and slutty, the implications about women are seriously gross (that men's objectification of us during sex is what a woman is) but they'll admit to it. Interesting how it relates to the topic of this thread, they are like pseudo-bisexual. By watching porn they become degens who'd fuck anything so I wouldn't say they are all true bisexuals except for the ones who are kek. And then the gay ones who want straight men for the same reasons regular gay guys do

No. 173928

>>173515
I don’t understand why this is a thing. If I was interested in a lesbian and she told me she wasn’t into bi women, that would be the end of it. I’m not gonna try to convince someone to date me or call them biphobic or whatever. I can’t stand people acting entitled to another person’s attention, it’s cringey as hell.

No. 173956

>>173928
Nta but agreed. Frankly as a bi who's never been with a girl yet, I even would prefer dating another bisexual girl first out of respect for the shit lesbians go through, and so gf and I can explore together. I don't understand bisexuals who get all mad at lesbians, I mean I know it can be a knee-jerk reaction ("ah someone insulted meee, monkey brain upset") but it's true that they are a different label for a reason and deserve spaces away from moid-talk and being used by us as therapists.

No. 173963

>>173792
I'm out to 3 of my friends officially. One other probably knows because I keep posting drawings of gay women kek.
My mother refuses to accept that I'm attracted to women, as in she really said "no, you're straight" when I came out. At some point I'll try to argue with her and change her weird opinions about the gays, but for now I'm just not mentioning it again.

She's not a true homophobe/biphobe/whatever, but we're super close and her approval means a lot to me.
At any rate, I'll never date men so she'll have to accept it on some level lmao.

No. 173967

>>173956
I agree. I prefer dating other bi girls and tbh it would be a double standard if I wasn't okay with lesbians also preferring to date other lesbians. This definitely isn't a universal thing the way some anons itt make it out to be though. People need to relax and not get incely about it, nobody is entitled to date someone.

No. 174040

>>173792
Basically everyone knows.
This question made me think about the concept of ”being out” for the first time in years.
I’m 25 yo at the moment and have been very secure with my identitety as a bisexual since my teens. I have dated both men and women. People around me have been fine with it because it’s just a given fact at this point.

Actually I have been openly bisexual at my two recent workplaces too. It was mostly because I had openly gay co-workers so it was natural to me to talk about my relationships too.

No. 174140

>>173956
this reeks of self hatred and it’s actually really sad. i can just tell you’ve been socialised in LGB spaces to see dykes as the true ultimate gays. you’ll never be a gold star lesbian so please learn to love yourself instead of concerning yourself with what’s going to upset a bunch of sensitive, ugly dykes online who hate people that aren’t exactly like them.

No. 174549

>>174140
> bunch of sensitive, ugly dykes
I get that you're making a point about gays and that whole bs gold star pedestal (I agree it's alot, it's given too much importance or power) ..but can we stop doing the same thing that bitter straight guys do where you can't say dyke without putting words like ugly or hairy or fat in front of it?

No. 174550

>>174140
>saying dykes three times as an insult
the overcompensation

No. 174551

>>174549
pretty sure it's just one seething anon who calls lesbians dykes a minimum of 10 times in every single post they make

No. 174565

>>174551
Yeah, it’s just one. She’s attacked me and a bunch of other anons at this point kek. Crazy to think how she chooses to come here when there are so many other spaces online entirely dedicated to being homophobic.

No. 174566

>>174565
A hot "dyke" turned her down, doubtless. She's always seething.

No. 174600

>>172803
i wish i was more gay leaning either 50/50 or full les, im in my first relationship now and its with a girl, shes super hot, pretty, funny and sweet but i barely ever feel this attracted to women usually ever. im a highkey autist with no romantic experience so i wonder if i just memed myself into loving her and im really just straight but lonely.

No. 174628

File: 1615284378654.jpg (31.38 KB, 500x373, 0e37cffe3a615f0cf086b2e7f876c9…)

idk if I'm a lesbian or have just memed myself into being physically repulsed by men. Doesn't matter anyway since I don't really date but it gets exhausting trying to explain to scrotes that the sight of them makes me want to vomit

No. 174698

>>173928
>>173515
I think it's when lesbians start insulting bi women because they are bi (bihet, bislut, "they're faking", that kind of shit) is when the biphobic thing comes in. I personally don't care if a lesbian woman doesn't want to date me (I get having sexuality preferences for your partner), but I am going to be offended if they are being unnecessarily insulting because of my sexuality.

No. 174701

>>174698
Kek I’ve been called a bislut and honestly kind of like it? It doesn’t hold the same weight as actual homophobia, lbr. And that isn’t me trying to argue but I feel like we can agree that nobody faces oppression for dating the opposite sex. But also most of the lesbians I know are very online and already have to work overtime to prove they’re not evil terfs to the woke crowd, I wouldn’t consider any of them to be biphobic at all (not saying they don’t exist, just that I personally don’t know any)

No. 174709

>>174701
>It doesn’t hold the same weight as actual homophobia, lbr
I don't really get this argument tbh. It doesn't have to to still be wrong and insulting. We can agree to disagree though
>I feel like we can agree that nobody faces oppression for dating the opposite sex.
I do agree, but I also did not say that in my post. I've seen bi women still get those insults flung at them no matter what tbh

No. 174716

>>174707
It’s because I identified as a lesbian before coming out as bi and my personal experiences with homophobia have been worse. People love to fetishise the bi side but I was actively bullied and told to kms for being the gay kid in school plus a bunch of extra crap as an adult. Not trying to say that my experience is universal at all though, just my opinion. Like even itt we have the resident homophobic seether, it’s pretty sad to think how this stuff is basically inescapable

No. 174717

>>174716
Meant for >>174709 sorry

No. 174746

I'm bi but I only had sexual experiences with girls and I don't want to try anything with men because I hate them. I'm tired of people telling me I'm a closeted lesbian. Mogai libtards were telling me I'm a closeted transman and now "feminists" are telling me I'm a closeted lesbian. I can't just exist as a gnc febfem lol

No. 174760

>>174746
I used to be a febfem. I thought other LGBT people didn’t respect me/hated me for effectively being a ~gold star so I started fucking men.

No. 174795

File: 1615392207454.jpeg (1.12 MB, 1242x1221, ECE05AF9-AF12-4CC1-AAC8-D60C8B…)

>>174746
Lmao same. Having short hair/being unabashedly guyish in 2021 means being perceived as either a fakeboi or an angry feminist depending on people's political leanings

No. 174809

File: 1615403956121.jpeg (6.08 KB, 160x160, R8R1imX.jpeg)

Never posted to this site before, excuse the weird formatting (and feel free to delete this post mods if rants like this aren't allowed)

this may sound pretty stupid to some but I'm reluctant to even call myself a bisexual or even talk about these things to people because of how overly-romanticized and fetishized gay relationships are now . I'm a woman who's always had a pretty bad porn addiction, and I solely look at images of women. I've never looked at porn of men, but if i were to have a relationship preference it would be more towards men, but I don"t mind being in relationships with women either.

I'll never tell certain people in my life about how I feel. I've ranted to them enough times about how tiring it is to hear mutuals going through some sort of sudden "lesbian attention seeking phase" for me to be seen as a "real one" (funny how no one will care about gay people until they realize it could benefit them, so they'll call themselves lesbian just so people can flock to them and praise how unique and progressive they are.Not like the other girls am I right? )

I'd love to be seen as just normal. but I feel like a fucking embarrassment if I ever talk about or explore these things. It's already cringey enough to see all the tumblr shit, but when people constantly start bringing it up irl it feels fucking confusing and even more stressfyl,

not to mention if I ever did talk to the people in my life about myself, people will change how they see me, either for betteer or worse. I could either be fetishised by people who will only see me for that and not for who I am as a person, or just have mild disgust thrown at me at people who'll feel uncomfortable with homosexuality, or believe I do so for attention

I've never even related to many people who were so outward about being LGBT. I have many opinions and preferences that don't match up with theirs, why do I feel like a fucking alien compared to them?

No. 174810

>>174809
I just wanna say I relate. However when it comes down to it, people simply care about defining a category too much. And that generates all these opinions about who's really bi, or faking, etc. I know it's easier said than done, but we would all be better off caring less what others think. Because other people will always form their own view that may not match your reality. I think it speaks volumes enough that you care about this, that you care not to seem fake or act attention-seeking — you aren't that way. When we see so many people being like that, it gets us acting careful not to be that way but you can't let it keep you from being yourself. I think there's a tactful way to go about it. Obviously you're not gonna run around town and the internet screeching how gay lulz you are (unless you wanna, then who cares what people think?) and you can still be modest about it while talking to the people in your life about your experience. You really are bisexual and if you want to talk about that, then you should, and you can just keep it authentic. If people judge you for reasonably discussing something true about yourself, then that's kinda on them. Sorry I hope this helps. It's how I try to approach this, because I feel similar. Really being bi doesn't come into play for me in life until I'm crushing on a girl or wanting to date one, since I don't talk about my sexuality on social media. Only when it applies to my life is when I need to personally, but at the same time like you are now, if I want to talk about it with someone then it should be okay to do so. You can get through this queen

No. 174817

>>174810
thank you for the advice and encouragement! I do try to ignore thoughts about what others would possibly think, but it can get hard though if it's brought up once a day in non-related discussions, trust me, it's amazing how long people can rant or talk about these things lmao.

and yeah if it ever came to me having to out myself I'd always try to be as authentic and modest as possible, since at that point I can't hold back anymore about myself

honestly the social media thing is another thing too.I once knew someone who freshly broke up with yet another boyfriend only to then put her sexuality as lesbian a day later in her twitter bio. she removed that a week later lmao

No. 174846

>>174809
Is it possible you just have general shame around your attraction to women and are projecting a bit? Especially since it's associated with your past porn-addiction? If you're secure in yourself then others taking pride in their homo/bisexuality shouldn't bug you so much.

I'm only guessing, but many are likely doing so to combat their own experiences with homophobia or just because they're young and excited to find out how they fit in to the world. Some (eg. artists who draw a fuckton of gay women and tweet about it a lot) may also just want to create representation, remembering that they wish they had it when they were young and ashamed.

As for the "lesbian attention seeking phase," are you worried that your friends will do the same to you that you did to these women? Some people will never believe a woman is truly attracted to other women even if she marries one and is out as bi for decades, so it's irrelevant. Bihets may make us look bad, but if someone is set on disliking bisexuals they will regardless. I agree with other anon that it would be ideal if we could all disregard the opinions of others more often (something I struggle with myself).

No. 174850

Does anyone else go through periods or "phases" but I hate to use that word lmao where they feel more attracted to one gender over the other? I experience this, but for some reason it makes me feel like a fake bi.

No. 174851

it's rare/practically non existent for me to feel seriously attracted to feminine women and it makes me feel fake as hell. i'm not sure why it's such a big deal when i don't feel things for attractive men irl either. why do i make such a ridiculous standard for myself?

No. 174853

>>174846
maybe it is partially me having shame, but I don"t have any shame in the porn part though I've just kind of accepted that in some ignorant/oblivious way lmao.

what I mean by the lesbian phase thing with friends is that people treat it as an "aesthetic" that you can just pick up, in what looks like an attention-seeking way sometimes. idk.To me when I hear someone say "I just wish I was a lesbian instead of straight" constantly followed by "ew men , theyre all disgusting pigs" comments, even though theyve crshed very hard on many guys, it feels disingenuous

like, if they are actually lesbian or at the least bi, idc, I wouldnt treat them as anything less, I just feel like theres better ways to come out rather than sayin "uggh, men so icky, I want to be a cottagecore lesbian" all the time .

No. 174854

>>174851
there are tons of lesbians dating butch women and it doesn't make them and less gay so it doesn't make you any less bi either. you just like masc visuals, it's fine!

No. 174858

i only seem to be attracted to human women and anime men

No. 174880

File: 1615462845636.gif (3.4 MB, 498x347, 654968165168541.gif)

>sage for mostly rant
>very femme lesbian friend says she's "started" being open to dating males out of lack of attention from females
>"vaginas are gross, I could never eat a girl out"
>"penises just look so much more attractive to me"
>has never dated or flirted with a female
>only hangs out with the gay men/queens at the gay bars
>said she would date pre-surgery MtFs, even saying they didn't have to pass as feminine because gender is a construct

I'm kind of mad that it seems like she's just been bi all this time but chose to label lesbian bc oppression points? I've been side-eyed all these years by my friends after telling them I was bi with their reasoning being I haven't dated a female (I had terrible anxiety from years of non-related bullying) and my first relationship is currently long-term with a male (that happened after I got into a healthier state in my life). Meanwhile, she gets a pass because she has a lesbian flag on her twitter page and talks about how pretty females are?

I feel fucking insane when sexuality gets discussed in my friend circle and she just brings up how it's ~so haaaard to date as a pure lesbian~ but I can't bring up any contradicting shit she's said/done or else I'm being an unsupportive homophobic friend.

No. 174885

>>174858
Same, the only men I've ever been attracted to were anime and video game husbandos (and some elusive unconventionally attractive famous guys), this is the only thing that prevents me from identifying as a lesbian. I guess I could call myself a febfem, it's not like I'm morally obligated to date men to justify my bisexuality.

No. 174901

>>174880
imo she is not even bi, she is your average straight girl. as far as identifying as lesbian, it might be because of oppression points or it could be that the gays she is hanging out with really dislike straight women and don't keep quiet about it. or maybe it's because she doesn't want to be called a fag hag.
but yeah, she is fake as fuck, but don't worry, alphabet soup members are all fake

No. 174949

File: 1615506510638.png (47.54 KB, 824x313, 1614465212326.png)

why are there seemingly so many bi women compared to men? are men just pretending to be straight? or are some of those women only curious/not really dtf another women?

pic only vaguely related, i just thought it was interesting

No. 174955

>>174949
women pretending to like pussy

No. 174956

>>174949
I think it's both? Being bi is obviously easier to hide than full-on homosexuality and I think misogyny and biphobia can have a kind of helpful-but-for-the-wrong-reasons effect where it is easier to come out as a bisexual woman because we're not seen as threats as much? Like, homophobes see bi women as straight and wanting attention and bi men as gay, so the bi women get treated better. I think the combination of men being as threatened as bi men as they are by gay men as well as a tendency to be more violent with their homophobia makes it harder for bi men to come out or be openly bisexual. Plus, a lot of homophobic men will date a bisexual woman because they don't see her attraction to women as real, whereas I've seen anons on this site say they'd never date a bisexual man. Which, regardless of if not wanting to date a bisexual person is biphobia or not is bound to make some bi men want to stay more in the closet rather than cut their dating options down significantly. could probably list a bunch of other reasons, and yeah, probably because some bi women fake it, but I think the different ways in which misogyny and bi/homophobia play out for women and men is the main one.

No. 174957

>>174955
i do think this is part of it. if you go on sites like fetlife (sorry kek) literally every single woman or at LEAST a strong 90% of them have their orientations set to bi and they never say a single word about liking other women or pretty much anything that isn't about dick. ngl it's pretty disheartening to see.

No. 174980

>>174949
I know shit loads of "straight" men who are attracted to other men too but would never do anything about it because of external/internal homophobia

No. 175012

>>174980
I know straight men that like to kiss others and grab their butts and dicks "as a joke" when they are drunk. And men who are "totally not attracted to men at all but would suck dick" and men who would fuck troons/femboys because make up and skirt makes it not gay.

No. 175033

>>174628
>memed myself into being physically repulsed by men
Impossible, have you seen straight misandrists? They still thirst after dick and whine how oppressed they are for not being a lesbian. If memeing yourself into another sexuality was possible then conversion therapy would work too

No. 175042

Any other bi anons here that find bi guys unattractive? it just turns me off for some reason idk why, i think the though of them butt-fucking another guy just turns me off greatly

No. 175047

>>175042
I’m the complete opposite of you. As much as I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating a man I love bi men and get super jealous of other girls who do date them. “Straight” men who are obviously secretly bi are also hot. It’s a shame that so many of the ones I’ve seen on dating apps aren’t physically attractive.

No. 175104

>>175042
No, I actually would prefer bi guy over straight.

No. 175105

>>175042
It seems like too mny of the bisexual men I've been friends with have the weirdest fetishes or they are worse when it comes to the sexual risks they'll take. That and cheating is often played down with the excuse of having 'differing needs that still need to be met' (I really can't relate to wanting to cheat beause of that)
I would have my concerns over those issues

Most straight guys are dying to butt fuck women tho so if a dick being in a shithole is what's offputting to you then dating straight men won't help much. A poopchute is what it is, regardless of sex

No. 175106

>>175042
The only bi guy I dated was an abusive narcissist obsessed with anal (no prep of course)

No. 175107

>>175042
No, I like it. Even though female and male (bi)sexuality are quite different it's still nice to be able to related to each other in that way.

No. 175126

>>175106
Oh my god, this. I've never dated an openly bisexual man but I've been with guys who have a secret history of trying out men and who like anal from both sides. Why are they so opposed to simply making sure they are clean before playing around in that hole??

I had one ex in particular who would give me the silent treatment or huff and puff if too much time passed since we last did anal stuff, but the reason behind that was mess. There had been mess in the past and he refused to simply prep to take away some of that risk. What the hell did he expect? For me to happily play around in his shit? I'm not talking about small accidents either. I seriously want to talk to a therapist some day about the whole experience but how do you have a convo about something so gross. Like thanks for the memories my guy. I love that I have been shit on and expected to take that as a normal. Literally shit on like it's no biggie and I'm the obscene one for wanting to stop at that point.

No. 175135

>>175106
>>175126
What the fuck, that's nasty.

No. 175136

I don't get it, I find some men hot and I can sometimes fantasize about whatever lewd stuff with them but when it comes to the real thing I hardly even enjoy cuddling with them so I can't bring myself to go beyond that and actually have sex with them. Meanwhile, I never had any problems doing that stuff with women. I actually kinda feel like >>174628 except instead of being memed into finding men repulsive in general I have just been memed into thinking sex with men is bad. Or maybe I am just more socially awkward around men and need more time to feel comfortable doing anything sexual with them? And as far as relationships go, I can hardly ever imagine a long-term romantic relationship with a man, whenever I think about that stuff my mind just defaults to women but again I don't know if this is a genuine feeling or something I memed myself into after consuming too much yuri. I don't even know if this is actually an issue I should be concerned about or if I am overthinking it. I hope this doesn't sound too silly, it just confuses me sometimes.

No. 175140

>>175126
where and how do you find people like that?

No. 175143

>>175140
First was a highschool bf that lasted a few years post highschool, he wasn't too educated or thoughful about prep at first but then he got better at it. He wasn't really a dick or anything. Second bf I met through college and I guess he just didn't give a fuck. He was on his best behavior at first and then by the time we were living together he stopped hiding alot of his gross traits. It felt like I signed up to date one guy but ended up with someone very different. His treatment of me got bad in other ways, sexual and non-sexual. The dynamic changed and I was stuck in a lease with him.

So just scrotes that I met in normal ways. Pushed boundaries after we'd already dated for while. I'm obvs completely put off anything anal now and would run a mile from any guy who rates it as an essential part of sex.

No. 175146

>>175136
Imho there is so much pressure to be with men even within the bi community, it’s seen as more respectable and normal (which is technically true because the majority of bi people are in opposite sex relationships) and if the topic is ever women who haven’t had sex with men it quickly devolves into gold star discourse which makes me and I’m sure other women who have more experience with women feel insecure and out of place in the bi community. My advice is you do you, you don’t have to do anything you’re not 100% into… but of course I can’t even take my own advice.

No. 175203

>>175146
Where are you anons that other bisexuals are pressuring you to fuck men? It's been mentioned a few times now and is not something I've ever experienced. Sounds shitty.

No. 175204

Pretty sure the woman I like doesnt like me back and is making excuses not to meet me. Feels bad man, but at least I feel more secure in my sexuality now that I know I can have these feelings for a woman.

No. 175207

>>175203
It's definitely a thing in online spaces and generally people assume that if you're a bi woman you MUST have had sex with/dated men and that if you've only had sex with/dated women you're an ~evil gold star or "technically" a virgin because two women fucking isn't real sex (I've heard this from bi men). It's just not the same as bi women who've never fucked another woman because that's not uncommon the way this is and M/F relationships are more common by a huge margin. The discussion in a lot of bi spaces is pretty much always about opposite sex attraction and people assuming you're straight because you're dating a man. Not all of us have that experience and it can get alienating. I don't mean for this post to sound aggressive but it's frustrating.

I have had sex with men btw but my experiences before I did/the general pressure was terrible.

No. 175225

>>175207
Damn, maybe I missed this since I don't actively seek bisexual spaces (the extent of my online les/bi socialization is just other gay female artists, so no men and everyone loves women).
I'm sorry you've experienced that. Always bizarre to hear when bisexuals police each other. It's such a diverse sexuality that it's pointless trying to box us all in.

No. 175246

>>175207
>bi men
Oh right men dont seem to think lesbian sex is real and get strangely jealous if someone implies that they like dating/sex with women better. I have even made moids ree for saying I dont really like piv even though I enjoy other forms of straight sex.

Have the women been as shitty? Very sorry to hear that anyway.

No. 175251

>>175246
Nta, I'm not really into piv either and ime straight and bi men are both equally offended that a woman can exist and not love getting pounded. I've had men flat out refuse to believe me about my own fucking tastes… they're retarded enough to think that they can essentially lecture you into realising that actually piv is the be all and end all of sex. I hate that shit.

No. 175297

I know this is a question old as time but godd how to cope with a homophobic parent? Both of mine are religious but my dad once said he is fine with gay people (hope he still thinks that way and hasn't been swayed by the church) but my mom definitely isn't. I really want a gf someday but I don't want to make her go through the shit from my mom. It makes me feel really guilty like I shouldn't ever be with a girl because they deserve someone who already is comfortable with themselves and with less troublesome parents. Being bi kind of worsens it, like since males are an option I should just go with them to make life easier for everybody. Except I think I would be happier with a woman and I feel gross around most men and scared of them. But I'm not even comfortable with my feelings for women yet. Not to mention the pandemic makes all of this moot anyway, not like I can even date girls regardless while living at home with my mom. Halp

No. 175301

>>175297
I heard alot of homophobic stuff said by my parents growing up. In my house my mom wasn't too bad (seemed to change and catch up with the times somewhat) then she passed away and my actual homophobic dad is my one parent now. I dated men for a few years so didn't bring it up. After my last break up I moved several hours away so that if in future I want to date women, I don't need to fear him or my brother finding out.

The desire to date women has intensified in me with age so I needed to finally create that distance to feel safe

No. 175306

>>175297
I’d say don’t do it until you can move out and live on your own. I know there’s no way my parents would have accepted it and I didn’t want to go through all the questions and accusations. I did date another girl in high school, but of course they thought we were just friends. It’s not ideal since you can’t be your authentic self. Having to hide a kiss on the cheek or a cutesy text gets old real quick.

It’s better to work on yourself before pursuing a relationship anyway. I know it’s a boring answer, but being independent and having your shit together will make your future relationships much more healthy. You won’t feel inclined to lower your standards and you’ll be more confident in pursuing the type of person you really want.

No. 175391

I like dick but hate men. I do not even hate them, I just don’t feel 99% of men are even remotely attractive.

I’m not even naive enough, not anymore, to think that transwomen would get the job done and still being women..

No. 175394

>>175391
trans women are the least attractive of all in my opinion. i would date a trans man but not a trans woman.

No. 175465

How can you tell a bi girl is actually flirting with you and not just saying "yaaas queen" in a supportive friendly way?

She said she was crushing on me and I gave her a vaguely positive response because I wasn't sure if she was serious. Since then I've posted a few thirst traps for her and she's responded with "Goddamn girl" and fire emojis and heart eyes so help me out anons, I'm too horny and hopeful to assess this properly lol

No. 175471

>>175465
>How can you tell a bi girl is actually flirting with you
like that:
>She said she was crushing on me
I don't think straight ally would be confessing her feelings like this, go for it anon!

No. 175473

>>175465
Similar situation, we've both said we'd date each other (me less pointedly than her, I've always got my guard up and a stick up my ass to boot) but she also seems to be overfamiliar with people which is part of why I'm so guarded in the first place. We've had some moments that felt really intimate to me but I often feel like I'm imagining it because as I said, she's so overfamiliar with people. It feels like every time we interact it means a lot more to me than it does to her. She's said emotionally vulnerable things to me and made me feel special but now I wonder how many other people are delusionally pulled to her like this.

Not saying she's doing this on purpose at all but it's not the first bi woman that has been able to cut through all my defenses and completely broke my brain. I guess I keep answering my own question, she's just yas kweening me and I'm eating it up in the wrong way. hate being gay sometimes, i feel like a weird incel around non lesbians

No. 175477

>>175473
Ayrt, don't be down on yourself anon it doesn't sound like she's obviously NOT into you. It's just a different situation because it sounds like you're actually close friends and that's trickier to manage than just flirting on Instagram lol

On the other hand if she's a touchy feely outgoing person she might be more direct when hitting on you.

The only way to be sure is to get drunk together and end up on a rooftop at 3am where you were laughing about something but you suddenly both go quiet and look out at the city lights

Then see what happens

Or text her "clam slam y/n" idk idk

No. 175480

>>175477
You made me lol, ty for the levity. Maybe when the pandemic is dealt with I'll shoot my shot.

No. 175544

what are other anons' thoughts about polyamory? i'm in a bi facebook group and the topic comes up every day.

No. 175551

>>175544
I think most of the time they are doomed to fail, but I may let it slide if the relationship is all women lol

No. 175552

>>175544
Point me to a single polyamorous relationship that doesn't house at least one person with a personality disorder or a troon and i will concede that they are fine.

No. 175559

anyone else wince when they see people have their twitter profile picture as the flag, in their bio and plaster everything about their sexuality all their page ??? we get it no need to repeat how desperate you want to fitin

No. 175562

>>175559
yeah, it's annoying. maybe young people who don't have experience with the same sex? and is it just me or does this happen with the bi flag more than the others?

No. 175563

>>175559
I like seeing the flag -somewhere- on the profile because it makes finding online friends to potentially date easier. The dating pool can otherwise suck if you want a female partner.

No. 175564

>>175562
>is it just me or does this happen with the bi flag more than the others?
That's probably because of how pretty the bi flag is tbh.
In all seriousness though, I don't think it happens more often with bi people, I think it's a thing across all sexualities. If it does though, I don't blame them because, like the other anon said, having your flag around can attract more people that are like you.

No. 175577

>>175559
Probably an unpopular opinion but I can't help being annoyed when I see people plastering their sexual orientation everywhere on their profile when it's completely irrelevant, especially if they are not activists. What's the point of an artist saying they are are asexual, who even cares?

No. 175638

>>175577
well asexuals being annoying is no surprise

No. 175674

>>175577
>an artist
Matters less for the asexual you mentioned, but personally I put that I'm bi in my profile because I draw women cuddling and making out and shit.
I don't want to be mistaken for a scrote fetishizing bi/lesbian women. I think it's obvious when a woman is drawing woman as opposed to a man, but perhaps others can't pick up on it so I keep it safe.

But if I drew dragons or something then yeah, it would be irrelevant.

No. 175688

Need sum advice. I come from a family who's not exactly phobic, but have sort of mixed feelings about it. as in they think its kinda gross/strange to see people kiss, and do know its a pretty popular thing all the "it: girls do for attention on social med, but other than that just dont mind/care if someone's gay or not. Not sure if everyone's view on me would change but what should I do if I actually end up with a girl ? I wouldnt want to make my partner feel like a piece of crap by just hiding it (u nless secrecy is ok with her) I don't know how I could manage it.

No. 175693

>>175688
If they're not homophobic then what is your issue with telling them about your orientation? If they can't handle PDA then you can always avoid that bit but it sounds like you can just tell them you're bi.

No. 175750

>>175688
You're making drama out of nothing anon, if you're not with a woman this is a non issue in your life right now. If you meet someone you like enough to introduce to them, obviously don't spring it on them as a surprise, but you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

>>175693
Hard disagree, disclaimer I'm bi but I think sitting your parents down and coming out (as anything but especially as bi) is cringey and attention seeking, when you're not with a partner.

"Mom, dad, just letting you know I think about women when I fap sometimes." is what you're saying. Why do they need to know that? It's literally not their business who you're attracted to, I promise you they don't want to acknowledge you're a sexual being at all, and it doesn't affect their lives in any way, not until there's an actual human woman in your life they have to get along with.

No. 175764

>>175750
That is the most retarded thing I've ever fucking heard. The reason to come out prior to bringing your partner home is so that your partner doesn't have to be bearer of bad news and have bad shit associated with her. If you think coming out is some TMI thing about your masturbation habits I can already tell you grew up some type of retarded way.

No. 175765

>>175764
Can you read? Anon literally said her parents aren't homophobic. You sound triggered, did you come out dramatically and put the bi flag in your profile pic before losing your hand-holding virginity?

No. 175769

Why do you think some people (not directed at anyone itt besides maybe seethe-chan) pretend to be bi?

No. 175780

>>175765
same anon as og post, I say they aren't homophobic since the worst they could do is think I'm trying to be trendy like so many others online , or feel somewhat disgusted but at the same time not really care what I do . I dont rlly know what qualifies as homophobic but as long as they dont cut me off for that Id be ok .

>>175750 I agree with the bridging thing ( like coming out slowly) but I do agree that its better to say before starrting a relationship . hell Im not even that open w/sharing who specificaly Im interestd in when it's w/guys so maybe thisll just go the same way but with some disgust

No. 176214

File: 1616450381879.png (460.4 KB, 848x480, 931.png)

I'm thinking of getting OKCupid and Tinder again even though my country is in lockdown right now and it always makes me sad how few right swipes I get from women. I feel I used to get more a few years ago but I'm only in my mid 20s.

No. 176217

>>176214
I feel like dating apps are totally pointless unless you’re looking for a man (just my experience). The “looking for a third” couples really grind my gears.

No. 176220

>>176217
I've been kind of successful in the past but mostly with hookups. As small as the dating pool is it's really much harder than it should be. Unicorn hunters were a huge thing the last time I had OKC too except they all dressed it up and said they were uwu queer and ethically non-monogamous and the guys said they were pansexual even though they were probably straight. I just don't know where else to look because my social phobia makes it very hard to meet people irl.

No. 176221

>>176214
I have found maybe two girls from tinder.
Dating sucks because lockdown

No. 176224

>>176214
This chart lacks the greasy troons named Alice or Lily.

No. 176235

If a man is attracted to trans women does that make him bi? As in actually being kinda interested in their dicks and not just buttfucking them. There's someone in particular I know who is like this and says he's straight.

No. 176238

>>176235
He's bi. Sexuality isn't based on gender feels it's based on sex.

No. 176280

>>176214
If you actually get fewer matches, it's probably because for some unicorn hunters you are "too old" now. If anything, the trash took itself out

No. 176456

File: 1616628640029.png (53.53 KB, 663x342, 2345.png)

i wish i could find a gf with takes as good as this.

No. 176468

Ladies, remember not to respond to bait. Have some dignity.

No. 176475

>>174809

Me too anon.

I just want to have gay relationships with hot women who feel the same way, and not have to like, explode a rainbow bomb on my life and become some sort of weird cultural activist for literally anyone who decides they're non-binary or w/e.

I'm soooo sick of weirdos latching onto being LGBT because they think it gives them a family of people who can't criticize them for being lame.

No. 176484

File: 1616648567527.png (823.1 KB, 900x600, IlhYmKg.png)

Anyone else notice how so many straight girls will call themselves bi for male attention?? Is this a fetish thing or just a "she' s not like the other girls"/pick me girl thing?

No. 176493

>>176484
It's a tale as old as time anon and not something that is new. They've been doing it for years. Decades. Probably forever. It is annoying and muddies the waters for those of us that are actually bi, but fuck it. They look foolish and desperate. Give 'em enough rope.

No. 176494

File: 1616660551669.gif (1.25 MB, 450x366, 4yehhe.gif)

How do you deal with the fact that you'll most likely end up with a guy or be alone forever?

My ex put the standard for other men "high" because he actually treated me like a person, was super caring and supportive etc etc etc and holy shit most men don't seem to be able to check the basics. I just don't bother with dating them anymore.

My country has a population of 3-4mil and around 10% are supposed to be lgbt. Who knows how many of these 10% are gay men, women in relationships, underaged or women who want children. The whole situation just looks so damn bleak, especially because I live in a tiny ass town.

I'm generally happy alone but I can't deny that I do want a SO in my life.

No. 176578

>>176484
I've noticed, but I've also noticed that it's not a good idea to point it out in woke circles anymore unless you want to be dogpiled. Which sucks really because it's a problem for those of us who genuinely like women.

No. 176586

>>176484
I know a woman that does this and also makes up stories about having sex with women. It's super rapey how she says a specific woman had sex with her when it wasn't true. And of course she uses those made up stories as foreplay with her several (male) friends with benefits. Absolutely disgusting.

No. 176595

>>176484
I've seen it a lot more recently when trying to get woke points in lefty environments, often accompanied with saying they're non-binary or something, things you don't have to actually change your behavoir with to avoid being branded with the dreaded straight white cis label, not even for pick-me points

No. 176612

>>176595
the ones who whine about how straight-passing privilege supposedly doesn't exist and post stuff like "it's okay to be a woman and love men" are the ones who set off my alarm bells the most. they could just fake their sexuality quietly but not being obnoxious and terrible is apparently too hard.

No. 176646

>>176484
I think it is because men like womens sexuality unless they feel like they have competition or they get objectified themselves. Sex with other women is threatening and they like to objectifying women because they too it too, so it makes sense pick mes fake it for attention.

No. 176647

>>176646
*is not threatening

fug

No. 176735

Im getting desperate enough to consider tindering. Do you put in your profile that you are bi?

No. 176737

>>176735
i do, but that's because i'm legitimately convinced there are a lot of straight women who have their options set to include other women.

No. 176770

Anyone else felt very ashamed and self consious after discovering what they are? All the tumblr bs doesn't help at all on top of that. I have so much mixed feelings after acknowledging I'm 'other than straight", how do I deal with the stress of it all? Advice?

No. 176893

>>176770
The thing I struggle with the most is feeling like I don’t like men “enough” because the most normal bi experience seems to be preferring the opposite sex (I saw a graph on /lgbt/ a while ago showing that most prefer/date the opposite sex) and I want to end up with a woman to the point where I’d rather be alone than be with a man. I guess my advice is to remind yourself it’s okay to not be straight, the tumblr idiots who make it into a political statement are wrong and we like the same sex naturally.

No. 176906

>>176770
I felt relief when I realized I was bi, it helps that I had a lot of lesbians and bi friends in college to help me figure it out. I was questioning my sexuality as far as early puberty but bisexuality was never really discussed in sex ed and medias, you were either straight or gay. Also I had this weird view of me were I couldn't be a sexual minority, it's only other people who can be like that.

No. 176938

>>176770
I used to have that, still do sometimes. Just try to think that it is okay, I mean you probably dont care much if others are bi/gay, just apply it to yourself. You dont have to be/think like the tumblr sjw gang, many lgb are not like that. Sexual orientation doesnt have to be a big part of your identity.

No. 176939

>>176770
I'm different. I used to be I was lesbian. For me it's embarassing to think I'm other than lesbian. Quite disgusted with myself too, since I've thought I was a lesbian since age 11. Turns out yes I don have some attraction to males, but I'm a serial man hater kek. Never dated a man IRL so far.

No. 176940

>>176939
Sorry I had a brainfart there but I hope you understand.

No. 176944

>>176940
yeah I get that
>>176906
>I had this weird view of me were I couldn't be a sexual minority, it's only other people who can be like that.

I feel the same right now. For the most part where I live it's mostly accepted and not many people Ik have been a target for harassment,but still make it all about themselves and make up bs arguments about how they have it worse.

No. 176982

>>171315
Sorry I am late to this but I am also a 2. don’t you find this frustrating?

I am attracted to women but I am not romantically interested in women, so it’s almost purely sexual. I can’t even imagine just hooking up with random people, so I don’t think I will ever be able to explore my true sexuality… even if I turn out to be bi curious.

No. 177076

I have been talking to two girls but turns out they both are too crazy for me.

1. Posted photo of Elliot Page’s cover in Time Magazine. So she’s going to chop her tits off sooner or later.
I had high hopes for number 2. but she posted a picture with FRESH cut marks.
I’m not the most stable person myself but cutting and chopping is where I put my boundary. I think we can still be friends but…

I’m probably going to die alone.

No. 177080

>>177076
Yup. Shit sucks when the dating pool is small. Good for you for staying away instead of caving because of loneliness

No. 177119

>>177076
Maybe number one is just making a show of being an ally?

No. 177131

File: 1617086693669.jpeg (26.84 KB, 300x250, 20C1B378-68D3-4670-B90F-98841B…)

>>177119
I hope so

Dating in pandemic fucking sucks. I have been talking to her about two months but our country just started lockdown sooo no hope meeting her irl soon

No. 177141

>>177076
>>177119
Yeah not everyone who supports troons transitions themselves.

>>177131
True. I also talked to woman for months and got my hopes up and when me finally met she wasnt into me fml.

Also tried dating app and the likes I got
>obvious fakes
>underage girl
>woman naked in her picture, only looking for "online fun" because she is busy being a single mother

No. 177485

If you look like a butch lesbian but are bi should you be called bitch?

No. 177489

I’ve never locked myself down to only be attracted to men or defined my sexuality but the older I get and the more they disappoint me, I’m getting more attracted to women and it’s honestly a little bit weird to me in a “what now” kind of way

No. 177507

>>177485
absolutely! does this count as officially coining it?

No. 177540

i identify as bisexual but i find it hard to be romantically attracted to both male and females. sexually? yeah i can get it on but romantically ,its hard… idk might be just me or im just too stupid for interaction

No. 177556

>>177540
You mean you are not romantically attracted to anyone or just to women or men? Some bis want sex with both but only date the other. It can be some mental block as well, I didnt want to date women for a long time because I felt shame about it.

No. 177560

>>177556
Something like Im sexually attracted men and women but i find it hard to be romantically attracted to men and women

No. 177564

is there even any point in openly calling myself anything if i'm not at all interested in dating or fucking men in real life? the only men i'm attracted to are just video game characters. i'm obviously not a lesbian, so i'm not calling myself that, but bisexual more or less implies openness to men for the vast majority of people, also no one outside tumblr knows what a febfem is.

No. 177568

What does romantic attraction to men feel like? How do you tell if you have attraction or if it's just aesthetic admiration the way straight girls fangirl pretty popstar girls? Someone told me being a fan of any male celebrities makes me bi even though I don't feel sexually or romantically attracted to them, but I think they're handsome and can look cute and get jealous of their appearance, so maybe I'm misunderstanding and that's bisexuality.

No. 177570

>>177568
> being a fan of any male celeb makes you bi
Tell that to the flamboyant gays that stan Lady Gaga and Britney. You’re a lesbian if you’re not romantically or physically attracted to men, even if you can appreciate that they exist. You know what romantic attraction feels like, it’s not different at its core.

No. 177613

>>177568
Lesbian gategeepind at best kek

No. 177626

have any of you ever been involved in what some people call lesbian drama? it feels like my love life is very tangled up in other women, all of whom know each other in some way or another. it's not the first time this has happened either. how do i make this stuff less messy for myself?

No. 177627

>>177626
Isn't this like when straight people only date within their friend/social group? Just meet new people

No. 177630

>>177568
This person sounds stupid, unless you have a stan account and obsessively post about boy bands or male celebs in which case doesn't mean they're right but gives them more of a case to be suspicious.

No. 177662

My lust for pussy grows by the day. I've tried dating apps and they suck. There's a girl I'm interested in. I have no memories of her besides that we went to school together and I have her on my snapchat and she's so fine, I have no idea if she's even into girls. Should I shoot her a message ladies?

No. 177697

>>177626
I have as a teen kek. The one good side of dating moids for years is now Im new in dating women again. But try meeting people who are less close to you, from apps or dating sites?

>>177662
You can always try!

No. 177699

>>177662
Shoot your shot anon! You'll never know if you dont try

No. 178019

I've been wracking my brain figuring out what to do about a situation I've stupidly goosestepped into. I managed to find some friends and from this group came my boyfriend, who's been a dream so far. Two other friends are a couple with a decade's worth of turmoil and the woman half of the two being invested in brain rotting e-politics after getting a tumblr and tiktok account.

We've all slept together as a foursome a few months back. Since then the woman friend's been interested in us being a polyamorous quartet. Our answer is a decided no but she refuses to drop it, always going on about how she's finally found her identity - and has adopted bisexuality as her new ideological conquest. Almost every other word out of her mouth is how the world beats her down for her expression of sexuality and has started cheating on her boyfriend with other men. Her boyfriend doesn't want to open the relationship but would so he won't lose her. All she can talk about is how much she loves girls but hates men. Begs for kisses from me. She talks to my boyfriend about how she harbors crushes on him and me, me being some awakening for her. All three of us have been there through some traumatic times for her so I do understand this sudden attachment but not through the framing of "poly rights!" We all have to tiptoe around this for how easily it can implode. Degenerate as it was it was fun until it met this precarious landing.

Our fun turned into such a mess. Don't do group sex with anyone you know girlies

No. 178327

>>178019
Damn I’ve wanted group sex for ages, don’t make me jealous

No. 178353

>>178327
Just to piggyback, I’ve had a lot of positive group sex experiences, but I avoid talking about them (even in situations where it’d be appropriate to talk about) because I don’t like to feed into the stereotypes that all bisexuals like group sex. In my experience, most of the people interested in group sex are straight men with semi-bicurious girlfriends or wives, along with single men. There are almost no bisexual women in the “lifestyle” groups I attend parties with. The ones that do exist get mobbed by horny dudes right away, which usually puts them off the whole experience forever.
It annoys me that talking about my enjoyment of group sex is sometimes read as “I knew it! I knew all bisexuals were non-monogamous sluts!” because in my own experience I am the exception, not the rule. There’s a reason they call it “unicorn hunting” to try to find a bisexual woman in these circles.

No. 178356

>>178353
So have most of your experiences been with straight men and curious straight women? I've been using apps and Fetlife to try and arrange a threesome but it always turns me off when I get messaged by those couples because it makes me worry the woman wouldn't really enjoy it. Am I just being silly?

No. 178404

Can you only meet other bi women through dating apps? I don't want to use one for many reasons but I feel like it's impossible to meet somebody organically nowadays, even without the covid shit.

No. 178429

>>178404
Well there are regular dating sites, internet forums where you can post contact info (I met one woman from a cringy local imageboard, she wasnt even autistic.) If there was no covid you could see if your city has lgbt events. I feel like the most effective way would be to have bi/lesbian friends and to meet women trough them.

No. 178868

>>178327
No need to be jealous anon! It's only as interesting as you make it. If you're already having great sex then you're not missing out having less people in the mix. Fucking multiple people who are bad/inexperienced at sex is pretty unfun.

No. 178900

>>178868
How do you find people? And who do you find?

i feel like i'm missing out :(

No. 179055

In yalls's opinions, which celebrity is the worst offendre when it comes to faking being bi? Lily singh is the worst imo, it's painfully obvious she's never experienced anything others go through. Ariana grande also seems to bait at the end of her Break up with your girlfriend song imo

No. 179064

>>179055
Honestly I don’t really care if someone might be faking, sexuality isn’t that easy or clear cut for everyone. While it’s cringey to see women obviously exaggerating their attraction to other women for cool girl points (that Katy Perry song comes to mind kek), I don’t think it’s beneficial for anyone to interrogate or question them. It can take a while to figure things out.

No. 179083

>>179055
I agree with this >>179064 but I'm gonna say Nicki Minaj who actually admitted to just saying she's bi for attention and joked about it in her lyrics

No. 179092

>>179055
Halsey and demi

No. 179097

>>179055
Doja Cat lmao

>“I like dicks and I also like, um, I like people that I can have sex with. You can kind of have sex with anybody, right?”


>>179064
It does annoy me but if it’s a celebrity it doesn’t really affect me the way it does when normal women do it by which I mean I just find it kind of misleading and sad as someone who wants a gf.

No. 179128

>>179092
demi is pan, get it right anon.

No. 179194

>>179064
>>179097
sometimes the shit celebs pull just feeds into what the regular stupid non-celeb people do

No. 179197

>>179194
I don’t know if it’s just that, but I’d actually want to have more insight into why women lie about being bi or lesbian. There are also certain places (like Twitter kek) it happens in more than others but if you point it out you’ll inevitably be accused of internalised biphobia. I kinda wonder how accurate this graph >>174949 really is

No. 179199

>>179197
True it is more than just celebs

also I'd argue tiktok seems to be having more/just as much influence as twitter does- it's a cesspool

No. 179204

>>179197
Male approval

No. 179239

>>179199
Kek yes I can just tell Tiktok is a cesspit of discourse and performative wokeness so I avoid it. My brother was asking me why I don't look at it recently and I was like "nope"

No. 179248

>>179204
This I'd say.

I also wonder how many women think they're bi and feel "attraction" but it's actually just thinking "oh she's pretty/I want to look like that" and nothing more.

No. 179253

File: 1618289886600.jpeg (543.07 KB, 828x1339, 457883F9-69AA-43ED-BDC1-667D26…)

>>179248
Was literally just thinking that this week. Hopefully this doesn't sound extremely dumb but I often feel very "male" in places with a lot of women who say they're bi because my attraction to women is very sexual? Which, of course it is, but I rarely see these women express any hint of that kind of interest. Maybe it's because they don't want to come off like they're objectifying other women, but to me it feels like more than that. I saw on Twitter this bi activist girl talking about how she didn't want to eat pussy and I guess I was just kind of mind-blown.

No. 179258

>>179253
Might be seen as hypocritical of me but when people are attracted to men but hate giving blow jobs I don't read too much into it. I get it, just the mechanics of performing oral on a man can be plenty unpleasant even with genuine attraction there. But when someone claims to be attracted to women and won't eat pussy my bs alarm usually goes off. If they have a bodily fluid phobia in general then that's understandable.. But there's alot of 'bisexual' women out there who'll swallow cum but then find vaginas too wet and icky to go near..bit sus when your fluid phobia only applies to one sex.

No. 179306

>>173869
they seethe cuz they know it's mostly bisexuals that would be attracted to them, since actual lesbians ain't into scrotes. or neutered scrotes. which is invalidating and triggers their narc rage

No. 179311

>>174698
I feel you but I'd rather they all just come out with it, be honest so I can know who is worth my time or not. I have few friends but most of the wider circles we are a part of are biphobic lesbians and I like to keep an eye on the kind of trash people talk about us. Noted and filed away.

No. 179379

I don't know what i am.
I'm mostly straight and a fujo, 3d porn is rare and is mostly solo of both sexes. I had wet dreams with men and women.
I only had crushes with boys when i was growing up, but most of the time i check women out (their breasts, their legs, their asses). In general, is more common for a woman to make my pussy throb (i know it sounds disgusting and scrote-like, i am ashamed but it's how i feel) than a man. The few times i was intimate with men i was bored out of my mind. I like dicks but men themselves are meh. I like women in general and sometimes i get really… possessive and jealous (?) but i don't know if that's attraction or just plain old autism.

I'm thinking that when covid is over i'll go to a lgbtbbq bar and see if i like pussy. For me that's the ultimate test to see i'm straight or bi. Like, i'm not repulsed by vaginas, some smell nice, but i don't know if i would like the taste.
But on the other hand i don't want to go to a lesbian or bigirl and "use" her for a one night stand to figure out my sexuality.

Would it be okay to go to a lesbian and lgbt bar, and if a woman is interested in me, would it be okay to tell her that i'm only there because i'm questioning?

No. 179386

>>179379
>i am ashamed but it's how i feel

No need to be ashamed of liking the same sex. I'm a BPDfag and I get weirdly jealous too.

Anyway, I think it's more common for bi people to prefer the opposite sex (there was a graph on /lgbt/ a few months ago but I haven't been able to find it since). I prefer the same sex and wouldn't be offended at all if someone wanted to hook up if they were questioning. It seems totally normal. Ngl, I'm always into it when I talk to girls who want to explore because it's fun regardless and there isn't that pressure of worrying about dating or being ghosted or whatever. The difference is I usually meet people on apps because I'm too shy about going to a bar and worry nobody would talk to me kek.

No. 179443

>>179248
can confirm I've witnessed this occur, I've had straight friends suddenly think they're bi because she`ll see an actress and say "awww, her hair is gorgeous.. wait am I into women??"
sometimes it just makes me want to say "liking her hair`s not the same as wanting to f* her sis"

No. 179465

Am I bisexual if I sleep with transmen? I exclusively sleep with women and ID as lez since like forever, but I’ve slept with passing ftm with mastectomies. So does my indifference to secondary sex characteristics mean anything?

No. 179477

>>179465
Would you ever sleep with a legit male? Or are you attracted to them specifically on the basis that they're very masculine females? I don't think being indifferent to secondary sex characteristics necessarily means you're attracted to both sexes. Like a normal woman with a cancer mastectomy and PCOS could have the same physical characteristics as an FTM but that wouldn't make your attraction to her hetero.

No. 179479

File: 1618401323473.jpg (39.88 KB, 640x506, more-which-bisexual-whatever-f…)

>>179379

How you are going to figure out your shit drinking in LGBT bar?
Do you have some fantasy that women will lust after you and you have to turn them down?
Women, in general, don't really make the first move (and that's why wlw dating scene sucks) so I wouldn't be "worried" about having to fight off the pussy left and right.

>i don't want to go to a lesbian or bigirl and "use" her for a one night stand to figure out my sexuality.


lesbians HATE when questioning girls do this shit.
It's okay to experiment with your sexuality but lesbians don't want to deal with that shit. Make out with your straight friend like everyone else.

>>179465
don't know & don't care but by TRA logic that makes you a bigot.

This thread makes me legit depressed.
Is there any bisexuals with grounded identity, who simply are attracted to both men and women, and that's it?

I seriously get why lesbians hate us.

No. 179481

>>179477
Masculine females. Yeah that might explain a lot since I’ve always been drawn to tomboy type girls. This is just taken to the extreme I guess haha
>>179479
Just stop caring what lesbians say about bisexuals. Just focus on your happenings babes

No. 179486

>>179479
This is the bi thread, not the lesbian thread. Why are you so worried about what they may think?

No. 179488

>>179479
Because bars were tinder before tinder existed. I don't want to see if women are atracted to me (i'm ugly and sure of it). I want to see if I'm genuinely attracted to them, and not just a retard autist that confuses admiration with attraction.
Where i live it's ok to be a gay man, but a woman who shows genuine attraction to other women is a filthy dyke and gets ostracized. I've seen it in school, college and workplace. Fucking clown word.

No. 179522

>>179479
>>179379
bs, there's plenty of lesbians that don't care and are dtf "bicurious" women. some of them consider it a personal accomplishment, like they turned you gay/bi. i don't see the problem in using wlw/queer/etc dating apps as long as you make it clear you're just looking for a hook-up or a fling.

why tf would making out with a straight friend work? i don't see how kissing a girl who's not even attracted to you like that would help more than going looking for someone who's actually into women.

No. 179568

File: 1618453207496.jpg (111.93 KB, 840x856, gCAgCw6.jpg)

Found this in a lesbian thread, kind of shocking, I woulda thought 30% would be with the same sex.

No. 179569

>>179568
No, it’s not unrealistic at all. I’m in a few bi groups on Facebook (ones with more than 10,000 members) and basically nobody else is with the same sex

No. 179574

>>179569
That's kinda sad lol. Groups I've joined are all people "simping" for the same sex but only want serious relationships with/thirst for men.

No. 179575

>>179574
Yeah, it would be cool if you could meet women through these groups but 99% of them are either committed to a man or polyamorous and really obnoxious about it. I don’t feel comfortable dating men because of past trauma stuff and prefer to keep it casual with them, it makes me sad it’s so hard to find women.

No. 179590

>>179575
thirding what both you anons said.

I even stopped dating men but holy fuck finding a woman in this country is hard, not to mention what the odds are to be compatible. I also don't want to be with a younger woman so yea. Forever alone

No. 179936

>>179569
I put a dating ad on a site for bi women and the responses I got were "i have a bf but im looking for hook ups/cuddles/friendship with girls." But I guess I cant really blame them, I was years in straight relationships myself.

No. 179937

>>179936
It sucks cause I actually want a relationship but I know men will always come first in these women’s lives and I don’t want to endure the inevitable trauma of getting involved in a poly shitstorm, especially not one where I know I’ll be second best at best

No. 180024

>>179568
It’s simple math. There’s a very limited dating pool for wlw and tons of straight guys.

I wouldn’t mind being a unicorn right now because I’m not ready for a ”real” relationship at the moment

No. 180026

>>179936
I cringe thinking back to this but my first few times sleeping with women..their bf was usually in the room while it all happened. Bi women dating coomer men can have their cake and eat it too. Like you said, can't blame them.

I have gay male friends on grindr and the bi men on there are closeted as fuck and sneaking out on their gfs. Shit will hit the fan if that ever gets out. Compare that with the comfy option of bi women dating a man, getting all that social acceptance of fitting the norm..then fucking other women and their bf actually counting themselves lucky that she does that. Just makes her hotter. Win-win for the gf. I hate being the side fuck though. You can enter that set up feeling prepared but you nearly always get screwed over in some way.

No. 180030

>>180026
>Bi women dating coomer men can have their cake and eat it too.
>Bi men closeted as fuck
Why is that a thing, I wonder?

No. 180033

>>180026
This has never happened to me, although the last time I had an offer I was so disappointed when it fell through. This Chinese girl had come to my country to study and wanted to stop repressing her sexuality and dominate me with her white bf. I'm a switch at heart but I was like sure sounds great because she was hot as fuck, except the weird thing was she wanted me to fuck her bf on my own first without her there. Then I guess I didn't arrange to meet him in time and she got jealous and blocked me. It honestly sounds like a catfish scenario when I write it out except I have proof that it wasn't, but regardless I found it disappointing. I might try and go on apps again this summer so I can arrange something similar, which ones are best to find these girls? Sorry for rambling btw.

As for bi men I prefer them to straight guys although I don't date men in general.

No. 180034

>>180033
I've had the experience of having a threesome go really well and then planning to make it an ongoing thing…only for them to break up veery soon afterwards. Which made me feel semi responsible.

Then another time a couple spent months chatting to me online, meeting twice for drinks in person. They had the hotel booked..fell though last minute. Rebooked it for another night…they broke up. He still wanted to fuck me solo though right after their break up, like no thanks.

No. 180037

>>180034
Not gonna lie, if I was the one in the committed relationship I might not be so quick to go looking for threesomes with my partner. But fortunately for me I'm kind of too unstable and probably too unlovable for any actual relationship.

>going for drinks twice


For me that would be a red flag straight away. I've done stuff like cry on the bus home from dates with women because we didn't fuck. Not to sound like an incel because I'm really not, but since I broke up with my gf I've been feeling this shit extra hard.

No. 180070

>>180033
>>180034
No offense anons, but these scenarios are my worst nightmare. I hate the idea of being some couple’s “unicorn” or whatever. Feels so nasty to be fetishized like that. I pretty much stopped telling men that I like women because they just badger for a threesome, “but you like girls tooooo!” Ugh.

No. 180251

sometimes I think I understand why some lesbians don't take bi's seriously. Most of the time its straight cunts from a comfortable place taking this label and playing with ideas till they end the relationship by saying "just experimenting! (at your expense)!. I'll be going back to my normal now! silly wittwe me"

ffs explore yourself BEFORE committing to a same sex relationship! It comes off as using the other person when you can't figure urself out and double down on toying around with someone's feelings

the Bi label is so misconstrued these days it's become straight people's scapegoat. it's always them being like "i know I 100% only show interest in (same gender), but i totally like (same sex) too!! #uwugaybabies" or "i keep options open despite never doing that"

fuck all the bs.

No. 180329

>>180251
It’s super annoying to see stuff like >>179253 that says if you question why a “bi woman” wouldn’t want to interact with pussy you’re violating her boundaries or whatever

No. 180500

I thought I was gay for ages, then bi with a strong preference for women, but in recent years (I'm 21, but had cancer & an ED so didn't finish puberty until quite late) I seem to find men more attractive & I wonder if it's a hormonal thing.. like the caveman brain 'make fuck with man to have baby' thing got activated late in me haha, has anyone else had a similar experience?

No. 180508

>>180500
Yeah, in reverse.
Puberty and a porn addiction made me horny 24/7 for almost everyone regardless of sex and body type. But as I reach my mid-twenties and no longer watch porn, I'm almost exclusively into women. My first crushes were on women so that feels about right to revert back to the time before hormones went crazy. I was also obese back then which may have fucked them up even more.
My libido is still embarrassingly high for a woman tbh, but less like I imagine a man's may be where I see everyone sexually all the time.
Overall, I'm grateful I'm extremely inhibited (and was fat) so I never did anything with anyone, especially men, back then. Being a coombrain is one thing, but sharing it with someone else would have been cursed to have to remember.

And I'm glad you're safe from big C and your ED anon! Best of luck with your health.

No. 180572

I have beautiful friends who have made moves on me while drunk and I fantasize about those moments more than anything else. They have all been tall too so when I stand in front of them their breasts are right in front of my face. Fuuuuuck me. I always laugh off those moments because I'm in a (straight) relationship and I figure my friends are just drunk and affectionate and not being very serious but I want to be a woman so bad.

No. 180573

>>180572
Kek omg no ban pls. I meant "want to be with a woman"

No. 180667

I’m in my mid 20s now and have never had a boyfriend or even been on a single date with a man and I’m feeling very insecure about it. It feels like all the other bi women I know have and even a lot of lesbians. I’ve had girlfriends but still worry I’m “too ugly” for any man to want me and I’m thinking about trying to get a boyfriend just to say I’ve had one. I hate having this childish mindset but as a BPDfag it genuinely upsets me. I’ve fucked a very small number of men and recently one I know (who’s also bi) sort of asked me for coffee but I got nervous and didn’t really give him an answer. I feel afraid of men a lot of the time but I’m also like… fuck I need to prove myself! I hate it.

No. 180678

>>180667
You’re not too ugly nonnie, don’t worry. You also don’t need to prove yourself. Being bi feels weird sometimes because of how others perceive us, but don’t worry about fitting into anyone else’s idea of bisexuality.

No. 180834

>>180678
I feel so much pressure though. When my friends talk about their male exes it makes me feel like a loser, even woke bi people seem to have the expectation that you’ve dated men. It doesn’t feel good at all and I don’t think my friends understand. I’ve definitely internalised some of the homophobic shit people say about lesbians.

No. 181014

>>180678
Nta but I always feel super bad when people say most bi women are fake because they never dated women (like >>179568 is often weaponized against us), I never have either. I know they are mostly talking about serial monogamists or for casual hook-ups, not necessarily women who've had like only two long time relationships, but I still feel somewhat targeted. I must add I've never dated men either, but I don't care about it, only women.

No. 181032

>>181014
That’s not what I was saying in my first post, dw.

No. 181096

I started dating again after a breakup from long term (hetero) relationship and oh god I'm so nervous
I've talked with three women from tinder and I'm seeing two of them next week.

Number 1 is someone I'm not that into but she asked me out. I'm a horrible person but I thought it would be practical to hook up with a person I'm not that interested in if I'm awkward. I haven't been with a woman in a long time.

I'm a nervous wreck BUT I can't cancel the plans. I have never been that nervous about guys.
I'm questioning if I'm leaning towards lesbianism (my recent relationship had many signs of compulsory heterosexuality) BUT I like dick. I have just more intense feelings for women than men.
I thought I had very stable identitety as a bisexual so switching the label means pointless at this time. Also, lesbians have this strong gate keeping mentality.
Recently I discovered some painful feelings when I was watching lesbians tiktoks and I was so damn jealous that I can't experience that kind of love, and what if I can? I felt like I had to "settle" for a man because I can't get a wife. Why can't I?
will I die as a lonely old woman?
There's not too many wlw's. When my friends describe the feelings they have for their boyfriends I wonder if I'm ever going to experience mutual love.
I loved my ex-partner but felt that my feelings were more friendship-like. Sex was good and we had a good time but I was never in love. Actually, transition from relationship to friendship was very smooth and I'm really happy about that. I wish that he will find a nice girl who isn't crazy lesbian like me.

Maybe I should move abroad and try my luck in some international university areas. There must be lot of lesbians, right?
I live in Finland and I'm pretty sure that there's lot of academic lesbians who want a visa in Finland. We got FREE infertility treatments for lesbian couples!! basically everyone is polite towards lesbians, I have had openly gay workmates even in my shittiest low wage jobs. I had a fucking real neo-nazi ex-convict as a workmate and even he was cool with lesbians (he hated everyone not-Aryan race but white lesbians were non-issue). Our national hero Tove Jansson is lesbian and everyone loves her.
Okay, that sounds even more desperate than I really am.

Any tips for tinder dates? I'm not THAT into the person number 1 so I can mess it up. No panic, I'm not going to marry her so it does not matter if I'm nervous wreck.

I've had a lot of dates with guys and I don't usually get anxious before dates. If the guy does not like me, who cares? There's a line outside waiting. Ironically, I've been very popular among men bc I'm chill and mostly date nerdy guys.
I miss cons bc it's huge ego boost to be the alpha female in nerd circles.
Like, in typical bar setting I'm 8ish but board game convention: solid 10.
Yeah, I'm not lesbian either, I enjoy the attention of nerd guys too much. Ah, the only good type of men. I feel sorry for women who are into chad dudebro types.

I wish I could drink and ease the tension during our date. I have strong medication that don't mix well with drinking.
My first date, the girl i'm not that into, said that she has been sober 4 months. yeah, that sounds like a major red flag because only addicts say shit like that.
But I'm not going to marry her. I'm going to have awkward sex so I don't mess things up when I met a girl I REALLY like.

No. 181119

>>181096
>Bisexual talking about how lesbians are treated
That neo-nazi probably would've treated you a lot worse if you were actually a lesbian and in a gay relationship. Bisexuals tend to forget that they always have straight-passing privilege because homophobes assume you're identifying as one for the attention or are simply confused in case you're in a straight relationship, but gay people they consider to be full degenerates born from the devil. While lesbians have equal rights from a legal point of view, they are still either fetishized, ostracized or straight out hated by the common man outside of the woke circles. I'm also from Finland and very familiar by my own and all of my lesbian friends' experiences.

>Inspired by romanticized, scripted lesbian tiktok videos

>Accuses lesbians of "gatekeeping"
>"I miss cons bc it's huge ego boost to be the alpha female in nerd circles."
>"Yeah, I'm not lesbian either, I enjoy the attention of nerd guys too much."
>"Ah, the only good type of men. I feel sorry for women who are into chad dudebro types."
Gonna be brutally honest, this sounds gross as fuck and you give out strong bihet vibes, the type of "bisexuality" that centers around just getting admiration from women.

No. 181128

>>181096
you sound pathetic

No. 181133

>>181096
>I'm questioning if I'm leaning towards lesbianism (my recent relationship had many signs of compulsory heterosexuality) BUT I like dick.

lmfao Lesbians don't like dick anon.

No. 181136

>>180667
Following on from this, is it weird/unusual if I'm bi and have never had a threesome? I've been feeling insecure and depressed about it lately as well. Or is the insecurity itself just a BPD thing?

No. 181139

>>181136
>>180667
I'm not bi questioning so maybe I shouldn't be the person to answer this, but I really do not think it's weird. The "bisexuals love threesomes" thing is just a fetish-y stereotype and you shouldn't hold yourself to that standard. If you want to have a threesome, then go for it, but don't do it just because you think it's what bisexuals are supposed to do. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, not even other bisexual people.also, don't become like that anon that cheated on her gf cause she was scared she was judging her for not having fucked a man lmaoo

No. 181140

>>181136
no that's normal. you're fine.

No. 181145

>>181136
This is so sad girl… No it's not weird if you've never had a threesome, don't let stereotypes get into your head that much. I hate the pornsick sex pests that made everyone think all bisexuals are swingers looking for unicorns smh

No. 181146

>>181096
you bored anon? sounds fake and retarded.

No. 181147

>>181096
I don't think you should be dating anyone right now, you sound insecure, desperate, and confused

btw if you like dick and enjoyed sex with a man you are not a lesbian, you are bisexual. I know that people make you think that bisexual women always prefer men and if you feel more intensely toward women, you must actually be a lesbian, but you can be bi and still have a preference or have stronger feelings for women. But anyway, you need to sort your shit out first.

No. 181152

>>181096
Everything about this post screams pickme

No. 181182

>>181096
You seem really certain this other girl is going to fuck you. I kind of hope she doesn’t so your ego doesn’t get inflated any further and she doesn’t have to serve as your lesbian experiment.

No. 181212

>>181119
You are wrong. You made your observation from post written tongue in cheek.
Only thing you know about me is that post.

I have had serious relationships with women. I’m definetly not bihet. No shame for bicurious women but that’s not me.

No. 181499

>>181119
That would only matter if anon was in a het relationship. You don't think femmes are straight passing and get erased too? Pull your head out of your ass, bisexual women get abused and raped at a higher rate than both lesbians and straight women.

No. 181692

>>181499
Really nonnie? Bisexual women can at least hide behind a straight relationship with a man but gays can't hide at all. Have any statistics to prove your claim?

No. 181732

File: 1619452925958.jpg (287.33 KB, 1365x2048, Tuscany Same Sex Wedding.jpg)

Why does everything have to center around how opressed everyone is?
As a bisexual woman, I don't get why bi's complain that they are not treated as real members of LGBTQ+ whatever community.

in other news, my crush shared a wedding picture today.

No. 181780

>>181732
Exactly, why can't we focus on the good we have…so annoying

No. 181905

>>181780
i'm not into lgbtq community shit or activism but "why can't we focus on the good we have" sounds like feeble, whiny, and meaningless. you may prefer to stick your heads in the sand than be fully conscious of our issues and place in the world as bisexuals but some of us actually like to stand up for ourselves

swear to god, bis are all either pissing and moaning about dumb stuff like not feeling ~welcome~ in ~spaces~ while het-partnered or the opposite, kowtowing to gays who think they invented same-sex attraction

No. 181921

File: 1619503235747.jpg (21.66 KB, 250x250, raOqH3J.jpg)

I joined a local LGBTQ+ Discord support group to try finding ""my people"" and now I feel 10 x shittier about myself.Fuck. what did I expect.just a bunch of obnoxiously bored people that start drama and arguments, and also saying any/every thing is valid and throwing up made up pronouns and junk like that.why the hell is everyone calling themselves "she/they bisexual lesbians" what the f? AND ofcourse, it's likely just confused attention seeker straights romanticizing/objectifiyng LGBTQ people since they don't talk about anything other than "hahahah look at me i'm such a lesbian".I could tell 90% of the users were people who say "women, ♡" but never touch one romantically with a ten foot fucking pole.
I feel so upset right now.everything is a joke now.Realizing what I am makes me fear I"ll become like these idiots.

No. 181975

File: 1619525719517.jpeg (51.18 KB, 686x386, C52499D9-EAE5-419E-A1DC-2CA8E4…)

>>181905
That’s so extreme to say I’d rather be ignorant anon. I’d rather focus on the shit we’ve achieved than stay stuck in perpetual victimhood. Obviously I’ll face any injustice that comes across my path, but I won’t go searching for it and I’m not going to waste energy crying woe is me…grrrr so angry when that’s not always the case.

No. 181980

>>181975
samefag lol sorry I sound so cranky. just woke up

No. 181986

>>181905
>the opposite, kowtowing to gays who think they invented same-sex attraction
Everytime I see a post here about how some anon hates other bi women, being bi, and sees why lesbian women hate bis, I cringe so hard. There are definitely some annoying bisexual women (and women who aren't even bi) in the community, but it just seems pathetic to have that much selfhate and to ass-kiss lesbians so hard

No. 182010

>>181986
kek Okay? Not white knighting and ass-kissing but I'm sure Lesbians have it harder than us.

No. 182012

>>182010
>sounds like hierarchical oppression bait nonny

No. 182014

>>182010
What? I didn't say lesbian women have it easier. I think you missed the point.

No. 182028

>>181986
Women faking it is a big enough issue to talk about imo because it makes things harder for those of us who are genuine. I don’t hate being bi at all but I feel nonstop pressure to “prove it”, mostly to other bi people and not so much lesbians, tbh it’s really weird how some bi women can’t stop seething about The Mean Lesbians. But yeah as I was saying even though the discussions in LGBT groups are often childish shit about how everything is valid I feel out of place in the community no matter what I do, maybe it’s because I prefer the same sex and don’t have much experience with the opposite so it feels uncomfortable for me when every single bi discussion seems to revolve around opposite sex relationships. sorry for rambling

No. 182035

>>181975
ayrt, i feel ya

>>182028
i'm deathly tired of how so much ~*~bi positivity~*~ is about men in some form. none of the uwu valid positivity resonates with me in the first place, it's kinda useless, but damn it's almost always about opposite sex relationships and feeling insecure about them. can we ever stop talking about men? lmao

No. 182037

>>182028
I understand that it's annoying to deal with women like that. It just bothers me when I see posts where someone is talking about how much they dislike other bi women. Also, idk if my post came off that way, but I have no issue with lesbians.

No. 182039

I wish I could find and perhaps contribute to good, serious discussions of bisexuality and bisexuals, but all I can find online these days is genderbrained teenagers/very young adults who constantly cite "The Bisexual Manifesto" like bisexuality was invented in 1990 and given to us by our gods, the Bay Area Bisexual Network.

No. 182040

File: 1619544410719.jpeg (54.3 KB, 720x568, 71535241-F249-4DAF-BBBF-19EA78…)

>>182039
Kek I’ve seen that manifesto come up a lot but have never read the whole thing because I think it would annoy me. I always hate it when these woque people act like The Gays are their worst enemy (99.9% sure the manifesto will include this in some way). Maybe it’s because I thought I was a lesbian as a teenager and do identify with some of their struggles.

>>182037
When people say they dislike other bi women they might mean ones like picrel

No. 182050

>>182040
I honestly really hate memes like this, it’s only ever women who get judged for their relationships. I don’t care if a woman who’s only dated men identifies as bi, it’s not always easy to meet other women depending on where you live. It’s not a says easy to come out, some of us lose a lot of time. There might be some fakers because they wanna be in the cool lgbt club and they think men find it hot, but I’m sure most people outgrow that shit by their mid 20s (if not earlier).

No. 182053

>>182050
I've seen people saying that the reason girls online do this is because they feel awkward about never or rarely dating other women but they want to fit with other lgbts so they "over-perform" bisexuality. Don't really know what to think of that since I can't relate to any of it
It's kind of annoying tho because I like the original joke ("attracted to all women and maybe 3 men") but now it's a meme ppl use to make fun of us and say we're probably straight even if we've literally never even got with a dude before.

No. 182060

>>182028
can Agree w this ^

No. 182061

>>182053
Damn spot on anon, I relate.

No. 182063

>>182053
Yeah it’s annoying and they shouldn’t do it. Not interested in defending them

No. 182079

File: 1619552077592.jpg (1.77 MB, 400x225, RTbM0iM.jpg)

Alright yall. Needed an opinion from somewhere.

How do yall think Bis can be reprisented in media? as in showing -not just here-say?

You cant have them show intrest in only the same gender otherwise itll be seen as a gay relationship, and only displaying intrest in the opposite gender is seen as a straight one.

I despise the trope where the bi person cheats on their partner with the same sex to figure out their orientation.

Many are estatic for Lumity… but theres fans that only see her for being saphic and not for being bi.

No. 182080

>>182079
Fans see luz as saphic not lumity kek typo.*

No. 182083

>>182079
As long as we aren't represented like Piper in OITNB, then I'm good lmao

No. 182087

File: 1619554508483.jpg (13.71 KB, 310x442, Nika.jpg)

>>182079
>>182083

I hate it when we get represented by shitty "lesbian" characters, like there's this show called Dear White People with this woman who is engaged to another woman and they call themselves lesbians but she starts cheating on her FIANCE with her male (college) student. So it was this double whammy, lesbians and bisexual women getting shit "representation."

Cheating storylines suck in general.

I'd like for more media to actually say the word bisexual instead of gay/lesbian if the character is BI, and also please stop with the ~I don't like labels~. It's overplayed and the rejection of the bisexual label should no longer be encouraged because it has not done us any good. In a similar vein, I hope they haven't started letting fake shit like pansexuality creep into our media, bc that's done so much damage already on the internet alone.

No. 182088

>>182079
I don’t watch The Owl House but I post in the animation thread on /snow/ a bunch and imo Luz is pretty cute. Maybe not someone I can relate to so much now but more someone I would have related to at 14 and afaik Dana is also bi. I definitely like Luz as representation more than Piper like that other anon said lmao, at least she’s a cute teen and not an annoying rich bitch.

No. 182089

File: 1619554779034.jpg (154.9 KB, 1200x800, Screen_Shot_2018_07_20_at_11.3…)

>>182079
>>182087
I haven't seen recent season yet but I remember Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn 99 being a very refreshing and good bi representation, she had a boyfriend later she had a girlfriend, she explicitely stated she's bi and not confused; there was no weird cheating/questioning sexuality plotlines like they usually do in these cases either

No. 182091

>>182089
Cool…and she's hot too lol. I like sitcoms so I might watch this

No. 182092

What about that blonde protagonist from The Good Place who kept thirsting after Jameela Jamil kek . Didn’t she say she was Bi?

No. 182100

>>181732
>>181692
Because we're not treated equally. We do face very different issues but at the end of the day we are erased, we have to continue to come out, and we do get abused at higher rates. It's been well known for a while now.

No. 182101

>>182100
I’ve never been abused, does this make me a fake bi? Waiting on your wisdom

No. 182109

>>182101
different anon but what does this mean?? i've never been sexually assaulted but i can understand that women have higher rates of rape and domestic violence than men
afaik statistically bisexual women report higher rates of abuse/assault and worse health. not sure why or if these studies are to be trusted but anyway, why does your personal experience somehow make this not true

No. 182117

>>182101
Nta, but I don't think that's what they said. Bi women do have higher rates of abuse, that doesn't mean that all bi women suffer abuse.

No. 182139

File: 1619564151322.jpg (46.54 KB, 794x794, 9.jpg)

what are your thoughts on bi pride merch and pride merch in general? is it based or cringe, and do you own any?

No. 182144

>>182139
cringe, I understand lgbt pride flags and stuff to hang outside a business to celebrate pride or to make a point but people who own merch of their sexuality as day to day objects are annoying as fuck

No. 182147

>>182139
i'm considering buying bi merch, maybe something like a pin or patch to hopefully signal to women irl that i'm interested in other women and encourage them to approach

No. 182156

>>182139
really not into it, find the bi flag ugly and tacky. i might consider buying a quirky pin if it actually looks good, to wear at a pride parade, if i ever feel like attending another pride parade.

No. 182159

File: 1619567460389.jpg (38.46 KB, 1280x720, fucking why.jpg)

>>182156
i don't think the bi flag looks at all bad compared to others like picrel

No. 182206

File: 1619579958955.jpg (122.97 KB, 1000x580, 1617267842844.jpg)

I hate how one week I'm only interested in men but another week I can't stop thinking about women. I constantly feel like I'm not really bisexual and that I'm a traitor or those types of girls who pretends to be bisexual even though I have enjoyed my experiences with both women and men. Does anyone else experience this?
im going through a phase where I only like women and i cried like a baby last night when i found out i might never be able to marry a woman because of my homophobic family

No. 182208

>>182159
Ewwwwwww! This flag is incredibly offensive to the senses.

No. 182209

>>182208
this flag reminds me of when 5 year olds try to dress themselves

No. 182240

>>182159
I remember when this flag first showed up. Gendercrits commented that the placement of the trans and black/brown POC colors looks like the trans woke brigade are forcing their way onto gay pride/gay issues. I don't mind the 2017 Philadelphia eight-stripe flag, although I never use it, but this one is hideous. It's like the trans stripes are penetrating and invading the rainbow flag, which is apt, since they've basically taken us over in the past decade.

No. 182243

>>182240
Forcing their way in using the POC stripes as a shield, like how TRAs constantly appropriate actual social justice issues. The symbolism works so well it almost feels intentional lol.

No. 182405

>>182159
looks like a dick forcing itself in

No. 182529

>>182528
I recommend hanging around and looking at how people type here, the way you type will make people hostile to you.

I don't really understand what your problem is. You're somewhere that's really woke and welcoming to lgbt people, but you don't want people to know that you're bi because you're an anti-sjw, is that the problem?

No. 182574

>>182529
I’m not sure who you’re replying to but I want to add that people who commodify any sexuality (like that Reddit post in the lesbian thread) and turn it into a political statement are pretty much always the ones faking it. People are naturally bi, it doesn’t make them SJWs at all. So I’d advise that anon to not be afraid of coming out

No. 182578

>>182529
>>182574
I'm the annon that deleted my post. TLDR: friends discovered i'm bi by accident and I'm not sure how to go about it because being LGBTQ+ in my area is trivial/political/idolized unhealthily (very SJW pandering too) and it feels awful knowing someone will see me ""clumped in"" with SJWs.
When someone Ik came out,everyone gained an "LGBTQ+ savior complex" and everyone (even straight folks) fought left + right around identity politics.I cant believe some people assume being bi is not something youre born with.

I had fun talking gay jokes with alies before, but now How do I convince them that its OK to still joke about gay things around me when shits been politicized like this for a while??Im Hoping they just forgot about finding out and move on.

No. 182582

>>182578
nayrt Your circumstances sounds dreadful. Sorry anon.

No. 182585

>>182578
>I cant believe some people assume being bi is not something youre born with

I'm in a bi FB group and I saw some woke retard try claiming sexuality was a choice and that "only bi folx understand this" recently, luckily everyone told him to shut the fuck up even though the group itself is left wing.

No. 182620

I need some help.

I experience aesthetic attraction to both men and women. Facially, I experience more intensity to men because of angularity, his stubble, whatever. However, it's pretty rare. I think women are better looking on average. I find men either swing hard as 8+s or 4s, most men are below 5. Women are in that 6-7.5 range at all times for me. I get crushes on men more often (they're pretty rare), but they're mild. They're kind of puppylove/honeymoon phase and they die instantly when reciprocated or he says something vile (which is every f'ing time). I like the idea of being with some blue-collar, dad-bod sweetheart type. Never had one show interest. The few crushes I get for women are intense and built on close friendship, but I haven't had it in years. In that time, everything about her becomes more beautiful, not just physically, but every little quip and giggle. I cling to the idea this might happen with a man, but never has. I'm in my 20s. Why can't I just let it go?

Once in a blue moon, and I mean every few years, the sight of a man flexing his arms or shirtless might send burning through me, but it's not downstairs. It is still very intense, but short-lived and fills me with shame. I have, however, felt that feeling downstairs at the sight of of a woman's nape, breasts, or hips moving while she walks. I haven't felt that since I was young either.

I have no idea if I'm bi. les. or ace.

I get feelings for men, but they end abruptly and are not sexual. Sexual acts with men feel wrong and I want to bolt. I can't stand how rough a man's hands feel or his smell. I don't feel that with women, but the feelings aren't as strong at first and take many months to surpass what I initially feel for men at first. I don't feel anything for either at first glance though, so that makes me at least on the Ace spectrum. I have no idea if this brief time I experienced sexual? attraction makes me something else.

No. 182621

>>182620
are you trolling?

No. 182623

>>182621
why would i go though the effort, when I could just post "femanon here" on /pol/?

No. 182639

>>182620
Most anons here don't buy ace spectrum stuff, maybe that's why anon thought you were trolling.
Anyway, for what it's worth I id as bi and also only fantasize about men but am repulsed in reality. I have never kissed or dated them as a result. Not for lack of opportunity…I just lose interest when it gets real. Male friends are cool though so it's not out of hatred.

This may be unpopular due to comphet discourse, but I think you can't be a lesbian if you have ever enjoyed fantasies of men. Doesn't matter if you can only date women irl, you're bisexual on some level. Bisexual thought crimes are real.

But that's just my onion. In the end it's up to you to identify yourself.

No. 182650

>>182639
>I think you can't be a lesbian if you have ever enjoyed fantasies of men
I completely understand and that's why I felt wrong using the term, that's why I'm asking here where it's anonymous and I can spill my spaghetti. My only issue is I don't "enjoy" fantasies in the sense I get anything sexual from them. There's no penetration involved in these fantasies, I don't touch myself, I don't orgasm. The man in question is faceless and does fall into that comphet list.

No. 182704

>>182639
>Bisexual thought crimes are real.
This is both hilarious and a great explanation

No. 182727

>>182620
Sounds like you're attracted to men and women. Lesbians often know that they are les because they lack attraction to men. Some bi people bi-cycle (a period where they're more attracted to the same sex, or the opposite) and some are more attracted to women then men, but still feel attracted towards the opposite sex. Lesbians don't have intense crushes on men, or have feelings for them.

No. 182735

>>182650
I also think that you are bisexual. What you described was me for most of my life and I have believed at various points that perhaps I'm actually gay or totally asexual but nope, turns out I'm still bi. Some of us have particularly long and confusing bi-cycles hah

No. 182744

annon from >>182578 post
Some of them are asking me questions now and Idk how to respond.They think Im uncomfortable with their suposed straight priviledges. The Hell do I say to them??

No. 182748

>>182744
Tell them that you don't mind them being straight, but also that you would appreciate if they didn't interrogate you about your sexuality. Make it clear that you just want them to treat you the same way they did before they found out that you're bi (if that's how you feel, I'm just assuming based off of your posts). If you would like them to be more secretive about your sexuality, then you should also tell them that

No. 182760

>>182639
>This may be unpopular due to comphet discourse, but I think you can't be a lesbian if you have ever enjoyed fantasies of men.
Based, also I don't think that's that unpopular of an opinion nowadays, at least if you look if you ever look at gc lesbian spaces online. Plenty of them are critical of it.

Honestly the popularity of the comphet shit is sad, the vast majority of women who are claiming comphet are just bisexuals with a preference for women, but instead of acknowledging that they ID as lesbians. I don't necessarily blame them since I was actually the same way until very recently, but bisexual women preferring women should be more normalized.

No. 182795

File: 1619844426393.jpg (974.93 KB, 2448x3264, BH6lyYg.jpg)

Is the locker-room myth true? where you can spot who's the sapphic by noticing who shies away while changing?

No. 182804

>>182795
i changed in the shower stalls, but that was because i was the only fat tomboyish one in our gym class and didn't want to subject the other girls to the appearance of my body. but i was also scared they might think i would look at their boobs so i always looked at the ground and got out of there as fast as i could.

No. 182868

>>182760
Wasn’t the original comphet essay written by a radfem? I don’t know why libfems like it so much if that’s true. I don’t think it’s good for bi women or lesbians but if you say that you’re accused of gatekeeping lesbians.

No. 182876

>>182868
kek I think that whole doc is written by and for self-hating bisexuals. It also has the same vibes as those lists of reasons you are probably transgender, and other weird internet zoomer brainwashing cults

No. 182887

>>182639
Do fantasies of 2D men count? I've seen some people argue that anime guys look like girls and thus don't count, people calling fujos lesbians, etc.

No. 182897

Seeing all these confused anons makes me glad to be so monkeybrained. "Sexy woman make pussy wet. Sexy man make pussy wet"

No. 182901

>>182897
Fr. This >>182620 conversation can go on forever KEK.

No. 182931

>>182876
I don’t say anything to them because I don’t want to get told I’m “policing” or “gate keeping” if I suggest that maybe being attracted to women and having multiple male exes makes you bi. Being bi isn’t a bad thing but like, just admit it? It is annoying and it adds to women who prefer other women feeling confused and like they can’t really be bi if they prefer the same sex.

No. 182934

>>182931
I think it's a combo of "bi women are all bihet LUGs who will eventually end up with a man but I am not like that so I must not be bi" and "Have the heard the good news about comphet? No longer must you suffer due to the shitty moid behavior of the porn-addicted college boys that probably dominate your dating pool, congratulations, you're actually gay! Because bi women enjoy shitty moid behavior, and if you don't, then you're probably not one. You are now safe. Come, my lesbian sistren, let us lick honey off each other's bodies while listening to girl in red like all our soft cottagecore daydreams"
There's an undercurrent of anxiety and fear in that doc and it suggests lesbianism as a "way out" because bisexual women cannot possibly just decide not to date guys (or simply find better guys lol)

No. 182937

Nta But why's Reddit filled with confused straight teenage and/or college girls grasping for approval. Every other poster whose asking if they're really Bi or a faker are told they ARE Bi without evaluating them- even when their story makes absolutely no sense. Just reeks of insecurity

"if you say you're Bi, then you are!!"

No. 182941

>>182937
straight is boring now haven't you been on tumblr or seen its influence for years?

No. 182944

>>182937
Well, words don't mean anything anon. If I say I'm a straight man then I guess I must be and fuck anyone who questions me. That's how woke pea brains work.

No. 182946

>>182897
>>182901
I'm >>182620, and the reason why I'm confused is because every hetero, homo, and bisexual person I've met experience attraction at first sight, and it's extremely strong and obvious. They have no problem swiping right on Tinder to someone they've never met, they KNOW when they find someone attractive on appearance alone. I do not. My friends had partners like revolving doors, always dating someone; actively having sex and wanting it regularly.

I feel attraction to one or two people every couple of years, it doesn't involve their body. I'm attracted to their face and the chemistry, body might come later, and when it does, it's only in the moment. I don't have an active attraction when I'm not in the presence of that person. I don't go home and think about them (outside of the butterflies from conversation) or masturbate to the thought of them. The attraction I feel is purely sensual, and this is even rarer. Photography of erotic light brushes of the skin is the only thing that does something for me, and it lasts two seconds. I can't exactly parade myself as bisexual if I can't stay aroused for more than a second in order to do "the dance" with someone, anons.

No. 182950

>>182946
start overdosing on aphrodisiacs demisexual anon

No. 182954

Is it wrong for me to judge like 60-85% of the bi girls I know IRL as not being actually bisexual? I'm in my 20s in a liberal area and it seems like so many women I know identify as bi, but have never dated any women and never make an attempt to meet women and pretty much only "act bi" when they're looking for a unicorn on tinder. I wonder how much rampant access to porn has affected women's views of their own sexuality because in porn the woman is always the object of attraction. So I think it would be easy for a straight girl growing up in the porn era to assume she must be bisexual because she finds herself attracted to the women in porn/is open to having FFM threesomes with her bf. Probably a massive hypocrite for this one since I'm dating a guy but whatever, it's not like I'm going to harass them or question anyone over it.

No. 182956

>>182954
>Is it wrong for me to judge like 60-85% of the bi girls I know IRL as not being actually bisexual?

No. Statistically not that many people are bi.

No. 182963

>>182946
fwiw i am more like you than not. i'd say i experience strong attractions but they're not so common and i've never joined tinder because i don't feel anything just looking at some random person's photos. i have to interact with someone a few times to give a shit about them as a potential romantic or sexual partner, and most people look neutral-to-ugly to me before i start seeing them as attractive. the ones that immediately look attractive to me on first sight, i still do not fantasize about or want to get to know just based on their physical appearance. i've never once masturbated while thinking of actual people, and certainly not people i know.

maybe you're bi and have a really low sex drive?

No. 182984

>>182956
>No. Statistically not that many people are bi
and yet it's the most appropriated sexuality lmao

No. 182986

>>182984
Mostly because it's seen as desirable for women to be bi (or, at least, pornsick men think it's hot) and people mistakenly think being bi makes you 'open minded' or more woke somehow. And also it's impossible to really say that someone ISN'T bisexual. Like if you claimed to be lesbian but dated men you'd get called out pretty fast, but how can you know if someone is bi in a straight relationship or straight? You can't. So combo of motivation to appropriate bisexuality + ease of appropriation = "everyone is a little bi."

Don't get me started on the hearts not parts/pansexuality bs.

No. 182988


No. 182993

>>182986
>Don't get me started on the hearts not parts/pansexuality bs.
Ugh, I hate this. Maybe this is a reach, but I feel like this basically implies the whole "bi people are sluts" stereotype. Like we're only bi because we like sex with anybody and we can't experience anything beyond sexual attraction.

No. 182994

>>182993
Oh definitely its so fucking pretentious and obnoxious. Pansexuals love to imply that everyone else is shallow as if we choose what we are fucking attracted by. Personality matters to everyone so they can fuck off with that bullshit.

No. 182996

>>182993
Not completely related but I hate it when people act like if you're bi you're attracted to everybody and into dating all Gender Identities

No. 183004

>>182996
Afaik Bisexuality = loving men + women.I'd certainly not get someone ID'ing as a Genderqueer Otherkin from Neptune™

No. 183014

>>183004
When people were fighting about the super straight identity they were also getting mad about “super bi” bi people who only date cis people.

No. 183015

>>183014
kek then "super bi" sounds like bi people who don't want to date people with mental illness and baggage

No. 183043

>>182954
Ngl I do this too, when self proclaimed bi women express their "sexuality" by saying dumb shit like "teehee I love big boobs", bonus points if they have boyfriends. I hate doing this because I think nobody should have to prove their sexuality, but I'm sure many of them have convinced themselves they are not straight because of the current climate (especially among art communities).

No. 183055

>>182954
I've seen women call themselves bisexual because they like boobs but then vaginas are a hard limit. I do think that seeing sexual imagery of women everywhere plays a large role in it. I think women objectively have the body type that draws in more attention. Curves catch the eye more. So if straight women are honestly just mistaking that for sexual attraction then I feel for them to a degree. It's hard to escape the sight of womens bodies plastered everywhere and made to look as appealing as possible.

Do you want genital contact with another woman though? Seems like a weirdly overlooked obvious question.

No. 183080

>>183055
kek I've seen women call themselves bisexual for liking "cis men" and MtFs

No. 183085

>>183080
I've seen women call themselves bi but insist that bisexuals don't have to like men, just two or more genders so like, women and they/thems
so lesbian basically lol

No. 183093

>>182954
I've slept with a woman because I used to think I was bi because of a teenage hood crush on my bestie, but I didn't enjoy it very much. A lot of "bi" women make me laugh cause oftentimes I have more experience licking pussy than they do kek

No. 183098

>>183093
I’ve slept with four women, I don’t think it’s a big number at all (I’m actually insecure about it) but it legit surprises me that it’s actually more than many woke/artsy women who say they’re bi.

No. 183159

>>182996
>>182996
Hot take (dont ban me) but idc if pan is real/not real so long as its not hating on Bisexuals and labeling us as unacepting. Im not hooking up w/ NBs or new identities that are invented like clowngender. Men and women only ffs. not into that woke crap at all and I hate when someone assumes I am.

No. 183184

>>183159
Don't worry, this is not an unpopular opinion here, everybody thinks like that whether bi, lesbian or straight. I've seen a few saying they wouldn't mind dating an FtM, but never MtFs or tender kweers lol.

No. 183243

>>183159
the issue with regards to pansexuality is that there are only two biological sexes. so even if you agree that pansexuality is when you're willing to date nonbinary people or whatever, that doesn't make it a different sexuality. so-called nonbinary people are still male or female, whether or not you want to date them is a personal preference and not a distinct sexuality. like i might be only open to dating men or women with brown hair, but that doesn't make me monohaircoloursexual or someone who doesn't care if their partner is blonde panhaircoloursexual. at worst it's annoying preachy 'open-minded-er than thou' shit and at best it's just confusing what sexuality is as a concept.

sage because irrelevant rant

No. 183259

>>183243

Im >>183159 I know NB crap is ridiculous but when people push that its real Id rathar not have it assosiated with Bisexuality
thats what I meant.

No. 183260

>>183259
ayrt and completely agree. have a good day my dear anon.

No. 183303

Welp I have a date with a woman who’s into same very niche hobby/lifestyle than I am, and I’m so nervous bc there’s very very small possibility that I could find person I’m attracted to and who shares the same hobby

No. 183393

File: 1620074737334.gif (85.25 KB, 371x353, f1ab9445751b631d5ca363f0dac166…)

>>183303
Have fun anon! Let us know how it goes

No. 183404

Who else hates buzz words like 'bi disaster" "bi-cicle" "chaotic bi" "shy bi ready to cry" etc. Raise your hand.

No. 183406

>>183404
"Bi-cycle" makes sense though, imo.

No. 183408

>>183404
I like bi-cycle and bi-fi and that is it. The rest of it is just goofy shit made up by extra online children

No. 183410

>>183404
"shy bi" reminds me of a site with the same name. iirc it's for older women just discovering their sexuality. i definitely like them more than the hyper-woke zoomers

No. 183413

>>183404
Big same, "disaster bi" in particular makes me wanna pull my hair out, apparently being bisexual is synonymous with being an unhinged mess. The only one I tolerate is bicone.

No. 183420


No. 183421

File: 1620095644872.jpg (10.22 KB, 225x224, 1614476703754.jpg)

>>183420
uh? may we help you?

No. 183422

>>183420
…Do you have something to say?

No. 183427

File: 1620102437945.jpg (64.75 KB, 1092x1037, lXSWGjR.jpg)

>TFW Crushing on a model from a photo but can't. find. her. name.

No. 183431

>>183427
Show us the pic

No. 183445

>>183404
I think bi-cycle is pretty clever and relatable but literally all the rest makes me hurl. Just snowflake twitter tweens trying way too hard

No. 183487

File: 1620136372434.jpg (23.79 KB, 236x354, 2RH0WLr.jpg)

>>183431
You probably won't be able to find her its from a stock photo kek. Here it is

No. 183587

Istg Every damn live action show with an LGBTQ couple hypersexualises them.Literally.

Now My Parents believe gay people are hypersexual.It feels gross.

No. 183642

What do the majority of Lesbians think of us?

No. 183647

>>183642
I wanted to answer this seriously but I don't know how. I can only guess, and I think the majority of lesbians, globally, do not really care kek
And neither should we (care what they think)

No. 183648

>>183642
in my experience lesbians irl don't care if you're bi

No. 183700

>>183642
Does it matter?

No. 183703

>>183700
Social Media makes it look like they despise us at times.

No. 183709

This might sound like gibberish if you haven't encountered it but why are there so many les/bi girls online who like My Melody and Kuromi? It's common enough that people even make jokes about it (at the expense of those girls). I'm just curious, can anyone explain this?

No. 183713

>>183709
Sounds more like a zoomer e-girl thing

No. 183716

>>183713
ayrt Yeah I've seen zoomers and younger millenials use these characters (and other Sanrio I guess) in aesthetic images and as profile pics. But people on Twitter joked about them and specifically pointed out them being same-sex-attracted. I don't know why

No. 183742

>>183716
It's just terminally online zoomers idea of comedy, like "Minecraft is for the gays", don't look deeply into it.

No. 183754

>>183709
Pastel X Goth ~Aesthetic~ is my guess.

No. 183791

File: 1620243802914.jpeg (110.67 KB, 400x400, galpals.jpeg)

>>183709
Sanrio is popular with e-girls, some e-girls are gay/bi, and My Melody and Kuromi are two female characters often depicted together. Kuromi specifically could also be interpreted as bisexual since she has a male love interest in the show iirc.

Hello Kitty EU also released…this. So make of that as you will.

It's all cute imo. Kind of stupid but ultimately harmless.

No. 183821

File: 1620256070417.jpg (26.9 KB, 414x239, poop.jpg)

I don't know if this is controversial, but I think if you're a girl and you like a girl who is a tomboy, it can still be straight because you are attracted to her masculine qualities and not her being a girl. And it does not make you queer. Like you would be attracted to the qualities they emulate rather than their female body.

No. 183825

>>183821
This post is gives off "if you like masculine/butch women you might as well date men" vibes.
>Like you would be attracted to the qualities they emulate rather than their female body
Why does liking tomboys mean you can't be attracted to their female body? They're still women. A straight woman wouldn't be attracted to women just cause they dress a certain way

No. 183826

>>183821
>like = admiration?
pee pee poo poo. she's bi/lez if she wants to fuck her. she's straight if she doesn't to fuck her.

No. 183829

>>183821
Fellas is it gay to eat tomboy pussy

No. 183830

File: 1620258658065.gif (483.66 KB, 500x359, 404527e131c444116ad83.gif)


No. 183831

File: 1620258804934.jpg (83.38 KB, 970x450, Scoring.jpg)

>>183821
This is the kind of mental gymnastics baby gays with homophobic parents do to justify their evil gayness

No. 183837

>>183821
Barely related but I always wondered about all those girls that said they had a crush on Ruby Rose when she had a part on OITNB and then there was like a weirdly specific backlash and everyone on tumblr started dunking on them
Were they straight and just saying it because same-sex attraction was briefly "in"? Were they bisexual but like Kinsey 1s? Where are they today? I hope they all got girlfriends who look like Ruby Rose

No. 183842

>>183821
Yeah, and men who want to fuck twinks can totally still be straight because they're attracted to their feminine qualities, not them being men. Kek.

No. 183849

>>183842
trapfags unironically say this lol

No. 183850

>>183821
Idk but I take comfort in knowing I'm genuinely attracted to bulldykes because I want to eat them out too bad they're all stone

No. 183866

>>183821
This kindof talk's exactly makes me less happy about myself lmfao.

Does this mean gay men would like tomboys too KEK.

No. 183915

File: 1620306564763.jpg (20.18 KB, 413x395, 47498100.jpg)

>>183821
Sure anon, liking someone with pussy and tits is totally straight. Manhood is defined by short hair and jeans.

No. 183987

fav ship dynamics for mlw vs wlw?

No. 184022

File: 1620341503863.jpg (5.26 KB, 210x240, otto3.jpg)

>>183915
I don't think it's gay because you wouldn't be attracted to the average woman, just the tomboy, and if you're like that then all women could do it for you. But they don't. And you like the mannerisms and personality more than how they look.
>>183866
I think gay men could like a tomboy for the masculine qualities, we all have a masculine and feminine side. And my mother is a straight woman, but she has liked a dyke type girl before, so it is a straight woman thing to occasionally like boyish girls.
I think women are less visual so even if you like a woman a little, it's not because it's gay or they look like a woman, but because of their qualities and how they make you feel. Like Sofia Vergara in the smurfs movie, and you might think 'I know she would be exciting to be around and she's elegant and probably smells excellent', but that's it. Everyone has exceptions. Also, I'm not gay because I am disgusted by homosexual attraction, and if I were I would be happy about it. But it's involuntary and disgusting and often goes away if I feel disgusted enough. I'm not homophobic by the way, I just feel instinctually disgusted by certain things and I trust my instincts. Sage for sperging.

No. 184029

>>184022
You sound really confused and young. I hope your usage of "like" isn't a substitute for "sexual attraction" because you'd sound very ignorant.

No. 184031

>>184022
>I'm not gay because I am disgusted by homosexual attraction, and if I were I would be happy about it. But it's involuntary and disgusting and often goes away if I feel disgusted enough
Why is my 13-year-old self posting on lolcow?
In all seriousness, I hope you can accept yourself someday anon. It doesn't mean that you have to date butches, or that your bi split even favours women at all. Best of luck.
>>183866
Dw anon, masc women are top tier.

No. 184032

>>184022
> And my mother is a straight woman, but she has liked a dyke type girl before, so it is a straight woman thing to occasionally like boyish girls.
Top kek this is pure gold

No. 184037

File: 1620344863938.png (348.23 KB, 496x371, 1557872703383.png)

>>184022
>I'm not homophobic by the way, I just feel instinctually disgusted by certain things and I trust my instincts.
Wtf does this even mean? Your "instincts" are telling you to be disgusted by gay/bi people and you're just perfectly ok with it and don't even try to change? What kind of homophobia is this. No wonder you keep making these dumb posts

No. 184151

>>184022
>I'm not gay because I am disgusted by homosexual attraction, and if I were I would be happy about it.

Why're you here then?

No. 184152

>>184022
I used to be disgusted by seeing two women together and even just friends being physically close. Turned out to be a horrible case of internalised homophobia.

No. 184158

File: 1620404998984.jpg (97.62 KB, 648x900, EnNEc3sVoAA6Aga.jpg)

is it possible to be bi, but sex-repulsed? i get off to women and men, but i find dicks and vaginas gross if they aren't drawn well (so, read: in real life).

No. 184159

>>184158
It's called being pornsick.

No. 184163

>>184159
i'm not pornsick. i know porn isn't an accurate representation of what sex is like and i don't need it to function.

watching porn doesn't automatically make you "sick"

No. 184168

>>184022
I hope you get over yourself and you don't burden your future qt tomboy gf with this bullshit.

No. 184173

Is there a "bi term" that would mean the same as chapstick lesbian?

No. 184190

>>184163
At its essence it still sounds like pornsick scrote behavior, ie. getting grossed out at irl pussy because they aren't hairless, featureless pink coinslots like in hentai. If you would honestly be repulsed by your partner just because their pussy or dick doesn't look like what you've seen in porn then you've got issues, period.

No. 184198

>>184190
NTA, but to be fair, everyone in this thread who replied to me thinks I'm bi even though I'm repulsed by genitals, and it has nothing to do with porn. I don't watch it, and actually think hairlessness and a lack of different colors like chaffing or stretchmarks looks even weirder.

No. 184228

File: 1620429277790.jpg (75.59 KB, 1095x1200, 7tck1NK.jpg)

Saged for rant, the word "Bi"s been reduced to a Buzzword in my brain even though I am one. And I hate that.Its all the 14 y/old she/they/bi artists on tiktok/other SM who dont want to be like "de other girlz" and scream about how it's hard being in their shoe and then using sexuality as a "pass" for something and its also a large reason why I turn away from my own comunity. So much insecurity or jerking around. Absolute Worst part is straight after becoming "A bicon queen" they post fucking cringy, preachy shit on Instagram (image relevant.)
Do not even get me started with when an anime character is revealed as Bi.or a youtube personality, or anyone being bi.people go batshit insane and things get disastrous and toxic fast.Why doesn't this happen with Lesbian/Gays as often as with us??
TLdr, I sum this up as "Fucking tired of Sexuality being a preachy quirk."

No. 184229

I'm in a Facebook tag group called "Quiet everyone, a bisexual woman with a boyfriend has something else to say" and I just love most of the group members' takes.

No. 184230

>>182897
Fucking BASED anon.

No. 184236

>>184229
is it worth joining and could you share an example post? i'm so sick of these women being the loudest and most obnoxious in every bi space

No. 184238

File: 1620437790605.jpg (122.77 KB, 596x556, snip.JPG)

>>184236
It's mostly lesbians shitting on: poly unicorn hunters on Tinder, "queer nb femmes" and other fake woke sexuality and gender labels (the group is like 50/50 TERFs and transbian-tolerant women), and girls who ask "How do I cuff my jeans so people think I'm gay?" as they date one crusty scrote after another.

No. 184239

>>184238
Nta, but I thought the group members were gonna be mostly bi women. Kind of disappointed tbh.

No. 184240

>>184238
kek based chad lesbians. i wish more people called those girls out on their bullshit. i especially wish more bi women would do it instead of simping for them.

No. 184252

>>184238
>I'm pro poly
>Unicorn hunters are trying to salvage a dying relationship
Pick one

No. 184255

>>184252
"polyamory is cancer" is the only correct answer.

No. 184257

Can we please get a seprate thread for Bi rants? It feels like that's all this thread has become now.
Or keep this thread and make another for Bi advice/stories?

No. 184258

>>184257
I agree, and would like this thread to have more positive or interesting posts, but I don't think it warrants a whole new thread for bi ranting

No. 184259

>>184257
People rant because the loudest voices in bi spaces are terrible

No. 184262

>>184259
True, but it's the only thing everyone's talking about kek.

No. 184274

>>184255
Thank you for speaking the truth

No. 184300

File: 1620492251287.jpg (24.81 KB, 500x358, 1e64c943a491a810e069658703a294…)

Is it possible to be bisexual but dick repulsed, despite never even trying dick? I only had sex one time with a girl when I was a teen, I never dated or fucked men. I was never molested or raped. I often have crushes on male actors and I fantasize about them more often than about women. It's weird because I'm really attracted to their faces and their bodies but I don't want to think about their dicks. I can get really wet just fantasizing about cuddling and kissing with a guy, grinding against him, humping his thigh or him giving me oral sex, but when I think about his crotch there's nothing there, like he was a doll lol. I never fantasize about any kind of penetration; dick, finger, toy, doesn't matter. I practice only non-penetrative masturbation. I really don't know why I have this strong repulsion towards dicks and penetration, since I wasn't molested and I didn't have any sexual interactions with men that could discourage me. I'm very attracted to certain male faces, lean and muscular male bodies and male voice, but the dick always ruins it. I'm not a big fan of pussies either, but they're way less disgusting than dicks, probably because you can't penetrate with them. I wish I could take a hot guy and just take the dick out and slap a pussy there, or maybe give him a super tiny dick that's good only for grinding lol. I'm laughing but in my heart I'm crying because I will never find a guy who's sexually compatibile with me, all men want piv with their women unless they're closeted gays.
I had people telling me I'm a closeted lesbian, which is bullshit. I started to think that maybe the fact I'm autistic has something to do with it? I'm very prone to overstimulation and anything penetrative seems like too big of an ingerence with my body? I also don't perform femininity for the same reason, it's just too uncomfortable, the only femininine thing about me is long hair. But the fact that I find penetrative sex unappealing and I don't like femininity is enough for people to tell me I'm either a transman or a lesbian, depending on their political compass. It's so frustrating. I don't want to change it because I don't want to force myself to do something that makes me very uncomfortable, but I also don't want to be alone forever and perceived as immature.

No. 184307

>>184300
I think you're straight. Genitals in themselves are not really appealing, I think most people only like them because they are attached to the person they like

No. 184311

>>184300
Don't worry, there are decent men that don't care about PIV. The best part is that those types of men are more likely to focus on your pleasure too, and be happy and enthusiastic to rub your clit or eat you out. Only thing is you'll have to be upfront about not wanting PIV or giving oral and they can decide whether to dip out or not. I usually bring it up with the first week or two with someone I'm interested in. Although it's always an awkward conversation, it's better than giving someone false expectations.
>I don't want to force myself to do something that makes me very uncomfortable
For the love of god, please keep this up. Too many women let themselves be pressured into doing sexual shit they don't want.

No. 184317

>>184307
Is this really how straight women feel? Good god it must suck for yall. Pussy is amazing

No. 184318

>>184300
I mean if you're bi but repulsed by something that's attached to every guy… why not date women? Why is it immature until you learn to embrace TheDickTM?

>>184317
No, this isn't "normal". I like dick, it's the men attached to it I don't want near me.

No. 184321

>>184317
I would say it's normal. Even as a straight woman the concept of PIV used to disgust and humiliate me in my teen years, and the thought that i'd have to interact with a penis turned my stomach, but the feeling subsided with age.
I'd love to be a lesbian…

No. 184322

>>184307
I'm not straight because I fantasize about women too, just not as often as about men. It's weird because between the ages of 10 and 15 I was more into girls, then it switched to guys. I dated a girl in high school etc. I was in love with that one girl whom I had sex with, but she didn't take it as seriously as I did, I felt like she treated it as an experiment and she didn't want to see me again. She even pretended like we did something evil and told me she confessed to a priest that she had lesbian sex with me KEK. We lived in a pretty conservative, roman catholic environment, so maybe that's why, idk
>>184311
I wish it was true but do you really believe those men don't fuck other women on the side? Because I find it hard to believe. I can't imagine a straight guy who can live without piv for years
>>184318
I wouldn't feel 100% safe dating a woman, at least not now. Second of all, at that moment I just feel a little more attracted to male bodies, minus the dick.

No. 184326

Why cant society just agree on >>182897 and make it more complicated then it has to be. ((and that goes for questioners too)).

No. 184552

>>183821
wow Thanks anon, now the Lesbian thread is using this against us.

No. 184623

>>184552
am i the only one who thinks this was obvious bait? how fucking dumb are you anons exactly?

No. 184634

>>184623
Then go back to your thread & tell that to the Lesbian thread Nonny

No. 184657

>>184634
this is my thread, retard. does my bi card get revoked if i think you're a dumbass for taking such obvious bait?

No. 184688

>>184623
Same.
Likely someone who wants to bait and trigger Anons.

No. 184872

Tinfoil but everyones fave site Tumblr and its shit Memes is the go-to for fakes. So much delusional girls sharing quirky memes about embodying the spirit of a bisexual lesbian demigod fairy. And plus the memes arent funny or even relatable in the slightest.

No. 184909

>>184300
Maybe you are attracted to more masculine women or butches?

No. 184945

>>184872
All the current genderfuckery like non binary and xenogenders originated on Tumblr (with Livejournal being the proving ground), of course fake bis are numerous there, they see shit like "straights are a disease", feel insecure about it and decide to call themselves bi to prove they are not like those other boring het girls.

No. 184948

File: 1620741741820.jpg (256.28 KB, 500x251, mSPwMlR.jpg)

I'm so done. This week alone 6 people in my social circle came out as Bi all at the same time so I'm suspicious obviously since were all in one group chat.
One person is a girl I liked in the past but she's was clearly not into women ,and always prefers friendships with men. She has a boyfriend of 5 years but NOW you explore yourself?
Excuse me but whats with women chasing and being with a man for years ,then suddenly comming out as Bi while in the relationship. What have you been doing??Were you bored of your BF one day so you say your Bi to get someone talking about you?

"I noticed I think women look pretty sometimes so I think i like them. dont refer to me as straight anymore just call me Bisexual. its a nice label" is basically what she said.
She was first to come out from the 6 and that started it. One guy in the group tried being supportive by saying dating Bis are so much better because you can both compliment women together. So it makes you a major cuck? Thanks for the support.

I truly know that if I come out and say i think dating/sex/romance/womens bodies turn me on everyone will see me as a perv, or a Bi god since their definition is listening to girl in red and watching pretty celebs makes you Bi.

So anons, should I come out to them?

No. 184951

>>184948
Did I also mention her boyfriend is also in that chat kek so he is another cuck who is ok with his girlfriend being bored of him.

No. 184952

>>184948
I wouldn't do it if they treat it like a fun quirk and are probably going to be annoying about it. You never have to come out to anyone.

No. 184961

>>184909
I mean yeah, but I'm attracted to both masculine women and masculine men. I don't find femininine men and women attractive

No. 185030

I'm not that into feminine women but butches get me going, I had been friends with a few and they see me as a friend only.

I used to have this tallish skinny butch friend, she was bi, a little hairy, and had the face of a greek goddess, she looked good even with longer hair, but she saw me as nothing but a friend and used to talk with me about her crush that she later started dating and about their dates and presents and I was there just holding it all in, all the women I crushed on don't find me attractive, fact is I can never imagine a woman being attracted to me, only moids do, it hurts.

I'm not the most effeminate but goddamn it, I want a butch gf why did I have to be so ugly and masculine.

No. 185034

>>184948
>Excuse me but whats with women chasing and being with a man for years ,then suddenly comming out as Bi while in the relationship.
i see this happen way too often these days kek

No. 185042

>>185030
forgot to add:

we were very physical and she used to hold me very very closely all the time I was around her I used to feel her none existing cleavage on my head, we used to be so comfortable around each other and even being semi-nude around me, we got along very well and we used to have some chemistry but she used to get all flustered and polite when my 9.5/10 fake bisexual stacy friend around, I introduced her to my friend group and everyone suspected that she and my stacy friend were dating and teased her all the time about how my crush used to be nervous and blushy around her, I'm better looking than I used to be then but I still don't think I have a chance, girls touch me and are very physical around me but only fems expressed any sexual desires to me, had fem friends who would hold my hand/hug me and joke about us being together but I don't like fems that much, I do have a very specific type for fems but in general I'd rather be with an average guy than average fem.

I'll try to get a gf and if I do I'll maybe post an update idk.

No. 185099

>>184952
Honestly whats stoping me though maybe Id be less upset over it if I do come out kek.Some may say "Hearts, not parts!"But my only fear is that Im late to the coming out party and be judged for it.

No. 185100

>>184951
and Update the girl I talked about now makes corny Bi jokes like having an LGBTQ pass and is talking about activism now that went off real quick.

No. 185112

File: 1620772151667.jpg (107.65 KB, 640x637, x7lr2cf4k7151 (1).jpg)

>>184688
>>184623
>>184552

sorry for posting the turdpile 'dykes are just men with cochie lol'

It seems like bait because in retrospect, it sounds really stupid. But I meant what I said.

I believe homosexuality is not ok, and am saying again I am disgusted by my feelings that I have had and sometimes had because it goes against my beliefs. I had a secret gf and used to be with a couple other girls, and felt strongly about women and their bodies since seeing Velma in Scooby Doo. I came to have views that it was wrong, and was raised with some values that made me feel very guilty for it. And was so disgusted that the feelings weren't the same, I felt pure again.
I have liked many women before, but wanted an anon to say 'dw still straight' because I was feeling guilt for the feelings coming back and was so scared. I want to feel what I'm supposed to feel. I have liked feminine and masculine women, and don't see the tomboy as a man. I just wanted to rationalise that I was still straight somehow and not going back to my old ways. I was trying to be straight, and will continue to try, but I don't think a bi woman with integrity will use dykes as a placeholder for men, so I'm sorry for causing infighting and appearing as a troll.

If I get banned for autistic blogposting, maybe that will be good for my mento health anyway. But I'm not a reflection of 'bi' women, just someone trying to become healthy and heterosexual and leave my past behind.

No. 185119

>>185112
Legitimately feel bad for you nonatella, your words are pretty painful to read. Hope one day you learn to accept yourself and have the blessings of loving a woman without feeling any guilt or pain only endless happiness.
Good luck in your journey.

No. 185130

>>185112
>I believe homosexuality is not ok

Why though

No. 185137

>>185112
Why can't you just hate yourself without bringing lesbians in to it you fucking freak? You're pathetic.

No. 185139

>>185112
>I had a secret gf and used to be with a couple other girls
this is a flex on internalized homophobia-chan's part. doesn't want to be same-sex attracted but she still was pulling in the ladies left and right damn.

No. 185140

>>185112
>I am disgusted by my feelings
>I had a secret gf
>used to be with a COUPLE other girls
>felt strongly about women and their bodies since seeing Velma in Scooby Doo
>No talk about feelings for men anywhere

I'm sorry anon but I'm pretty sure this belongs in the lesbian thread kek
Btw did you feel "disgusted" when you were licking all that pussy?
Damn homophobic-chan you're a chad tell us your ways.

No. 185160

>>185112
what if plot twist this was the only homophobic anon the whole time, like what if this was the one who kept trashing "dykes" in this thread kek? I do wonder and hope

No. 185164

>>185112
The questioning thread is here >>153246

No. 185211

Anyone else have a parent who is both bisexual and a biphobe/homophobe?
I have no idea how to deal with this aside from just dating a woman and proving her wrong. I love her so much otherwise so it hurts a bit.

>>185112
I feel bad for you, anon. Hope you can work through this.

No. 185215

>>185112
Why is homophobia allowed here?

No. 185230

Why are popular ships a lesbian x Bi or a gay x bi I never see a bi x bi couple in media

No. 185232

>>185230
From the top of my head right now there's Bubbline and Korrasami (and maybe Harley and Ivy? not sure about Ivy) for bi women ships. As for bi men… idk really.

No. 185233

>>185232
Ivy's bi in that new cartoon, she dated a Kite Man but then he left her after she hooked up with Harley and couldn't commit to him to get married. And then she and Harley confessed their feelings for each other

No. 185235

>>185232
Oh right I forgot Princess Bubblegum is Bi not a lesbian kek

No. 185237

>>185230
Bi x Bi is represented in media as >>185232 said but I think Instagram artists made the Lesbian x Bi ships more popular (i.e. through OC's.)

No. 185238

>>185237
headcanons too. for some reason many people just can't fathom two bisexuals dating each other so every same sex ship has to have at least one gay person. even when both characters in one ship are canonically opposite-sex attracted (whether canon straight or even canon bi) at least one of them has to be homosexual. this seems even more common in m/m ships though

No. 185250

>>185112
The state of bisluts

No. 185253

>>185238
Most mlm ships I knew were 2 gay guys and whenever there was a bi guy he was headcanon'd as secretly gay

No. 185281

I asked out a guy and he'd straight up told me that me acting masculine is a turn off, he even thought I was lesbian.Does this happen to anyone else?Are men turned off by tomboys?I know some women like it but I'd hate thinking this >>183821 is true.

No. 185282

>>185281
I've been always a tomboy and assigned lesbian by everyone, but even then even when men thought I was a lesbo they were flirty with me.
your guy probably has a very specific type or is closeted gay, either way you dodged a bullet.

No. 185283

>>185281
>I know some women like it but I'd hate thinking this >>183821 is true.
Anon don't be retarded. ONE scrote rejected you based on his own preference, plenty of other men are into tomboy's (fucking hate this term) just as you're attracted to certain men and turned off by others. Not a hard concept to grasp.

No. 185284

>>185283
Not just the one I'm saying through my past experiences aswell.

No. 185285

>>185282
Yeah I'm a full lesbo and not feminine at all and guys flirt with me all the time like nothing so maybe anon's problem is another one tbh.

No. 185286

>>185284
90% of men only want submissive passive girly women to make them feel like real big manly men, you intimidate them by throwing the roles off in their head. Even subtle things like hair length signal role expectations to men
There will be men appreciative of women who look however they want and think your masculinity is hot. Depends on location. Tomboys are popular with bis/lesbians so what that autistic nutjob said isn't true. I like masculinity in women but not in men precisely because I like women, not just masculinity

No. 185315

>>185281
Men are like horses. They smell your fear.

They are simple creatures, not complex like women. I’m in the domme side and sometimes I like to challenge myself and I pick literally guy from the street and charm him. Not fuck him, I just like the feeling that I could make him do anything I want.

If you give men too much power over you, they will treat you like shit.

I prefer women in serious relationships and don’t really connect the same way with men, than I do with women. The best thing about men are that they are so simple creatures.
Women are complex and can feel 20 emotions at the same time, while men are happy/unhappy.

No. 185360

nta but our thread's been feeling dull lately.

No. 185368

File: 1620882947664.jpg (107.81 KB, 700x700, xNc7Utb.jpg)

I don't know if this is fake media press or because bis are a large percent of the community but I always wondered why bisexuals are statistically more abused, because I assumed it was gay men abused at higher rates because bisexuals technically have choice to be in "straight" relationships. I feel like I have no say in this matter and am playing victim because I dont have "the full gay experience" that lesbians or gays do. but I needed answers.

No. 185409

>>185360
Take your borderline personality disorder meds sis it'll help that emptiness!

No. 185414

>>185368
It’ll be bi women in straight relationships who are getting abused

No. 185415

>>185368
iirc that study said that it was bisexual women in particular who were abused the most, right? I've seen some speculate that maybe we face higher rates of abuse because of negative stereotypes, like the idea that we're inherently more promiscuous or more likely to cheat. Tbh I think that makes sense, while I've never personally been in a relationship, from what I've seen online a lot of non-bisexual people are bothered by bisexuality and feel insecure when they're in a relationship with a bisexual (and let's be real, men in particular will feel more entitled to certain sex acts like threesomes, and will probably act more degrading).

Also I wish that study specified which sex these women were partnered with. Statistically speaking they were probably mostly het-partnered, but I'm still curious nonetheless, like if it showed rates of abuse in same sex vs opposite sex relationships for bisexual women.

No. 185426

>>185414
I’d guess this option. The statistic seems kinda sketchy.

There is violence in relationships between two women but it’s not as common as in het couples. I can only speak from my own experience and social circles.
One time I was in a gay bar with my friends and there was a russian lesbian couple and the ”butch” one punched the ”femme” . I was young and the situation was super weird. My armchair theory is that the butch had adapted the model of abusive relationships in their very heteronormative culture, but idk don’t know too many russian lesbians so it’s hard to say.

No. 185509

>>185281
>>185286
Hasn't there been a tomboy fetish trend in recent years or is that only online?

No. 185516

>>185509
How so? I've not seen any except for "not like the other girls" trends.

No. 185520

>>185509
Yeah there's even a porny subreddit for it, forgot the name though

No. 185537

>>185516
There's tons of memes about wanting a tomboy gf and even a video on it although it's more of an idealized weeb version of tomboys.

No. 185559

i started messaging this man i found on a kink site because he followed me and he seems… really uninterested. he's bi and poly (being poly in my mind is a red flag that someone is a manipulator) and has threesomes with his gf. but the bpdfag in me is so desperate for his validation for some fucking reason and now i feel like my body is too ugly for him when he doesn't reply to my messages within 10 minutes. what do i do? i just want to fuck him and his stupid gf to prove i'm "good enough."

No. 185572

>>185559
Delete your account. Immediately. I know this seems drastic, but if you are not in the mental state to casually hit someone up and be prepared for whatever their answer is (including delayed responses) without it taking a hit on you personally, you should avoid it altogether. You may want to look at FDS. Although I don't believe in it because I am separatist, those who engage with men should know their own worth. Even in casual encounters, you should feel wanted, desired, and actively pursued. The woman is the prize, socially speaking. It only leads to crappy sex at best if you ignore those gut feelings.

No. 185574

>>185572
i wasn't as interested until i found out he has a gf. i have no idea what she looks like but i hate her and feel like i need to prove i'm good enough by fucking them both. he's never seen my face so it must be my body he doesn't like. i'm not overweight, i'm only 110 lbs. this all sounds retarded but it's fucking me up because i kind of put other bi people on a pedestal and crave their validation and if i don't get it i don't know what to do.

No. 185591

File: 1620970609237.jpg (44.99 KB, 500x375, 6ULNShN.jpg)

I don't know whether I should come out to my mom or not.
>Liberal
>Arabic background
>hates fake wokeness just like me but mistakes non-woke actions for woke ones
>is unaware bi is a real thing (thinks they're just lesbians in hiding)
>is somewhat uninformed
>we used to bitch about fake wokeness together so might come as a shock if I reveal. I stopped the bitching after finding out what I was (although radfems still suck).
>the only Bi media she'd ever seen was when a show she watches very obviously shoehorned a relationship in
>not religious
>overall is very caring and I feel I run low risk of being disowned
>shows "the gays can do whatever they want but I'm not watching it" mentality ocasionally

Lots of conflictions I know
Subtlety hinting and normalizing it is probably the babysteps toward coming out.

No. 185596

>>185574
God just get therapy. BPDfags are so tiresome.
>Thisjustconfirmseveryonehatesme!!1
Yeah, you're really persecuted. Life is suffering and so on and so forth.

No. 185629

>>185574
Beepeedee-chan go get some help jfc you sound exhausting and impossible to be around

No. 185672

>>185591
>hates fake wokeness just like me
>we used to bitch about fake wokeness together
>but radfems still suck
wtf does this mean

No. 185681

>>185672
Companies comerciallizing pride month and shoving it in your face, The 72 genders meme, Social media's petty bitching and moaning making it into the news, changing languages to make it gender inclusive, etcetera etcetera. The more companies and workplaces push useless things to our face the more she feels uncomfortable.

No. 185683

>>185591
You don't need to come out wth.

No. 185686

>>185683
Wdym? so if I'm in a relationship with a woman i surprise her? Jeez, great idea.

No. 185699

>>185681
whats ur beef with radfems?? since theyre not woke are they? idk i thought that's libfems

No. 185703

>>185686
Nayrt but if you're in a relationship with a woman and it gets serious enough to meet the parents then just come out as a lesbian. Coming out as bisexual was one of the most retarded things I've done, family thought that I'm a perv who would literally fuck anything (in contrast to my sis coming out as lesbian, "you can't help who you love and we support you and want you to be happy") ex partners thought I ought to be down for threesomes/poly/swinging or that I would cheat on them with the other sex even though I'm monogamous because "if you're bi then I'm not enough for you, you need both!" but no one gives a shit if you just bullshit it to whatever is actually relevant to your current situation. I'm in a straight relationship now and I tell people that I'm straight. My previous relationship of 4 years was with a woman and I gave up on being "out" as bi and just started telling people I was a lesbian. My current partner doesn't know that I'm bi and frankly he doesn't need to. When the topic of past relationships was brought up I told him I experimented with a woman but it wasn't for me, and it's been a non-issue. None of the weird and annoying reactions I got when I used to tell people I was bi. It really doesn't have to be anyone's business unless you make it so.

No. 185710

>>185703
Hard agree.
>>185683 samefag.
You want a romantic relationship meant for you anon, not to satisfy mom and dad. If they love you then they'll come around eventually. If not, then either be miserable by keeping your gf a secret, luck out and find a decent guy, or be single forever. Your romantic relationships are(is? idk english) your business. In my opinion, I dunno why people feel the need to "come out" nowadays.

No. 185719

>>185703
Kek anon who hurt you,,,
You shouldn't need to pretend ur lesbian so that everyone accepts you and if someone believes you're into poly relationships cut those people off. Your parents also need to be more educated.I see where ur coming from but I also don't.

>>185710
>>185591 anon here, I agree coming out is overrated. Close friends told me I should do it, but, the reason I was unsure was because I didn't want to keep a future gf secret and make her feel shitty in the process.

No. 185720

>>185703
I know there is a lot of bullshit to deal with when you're bi, but tbh I feel like it's better to truthfully identify as what you are. I would want to know what someone, especially my family or significant other, thinks of bi women rather than lying to them about it. It's also important to know if someone you're dating buys into that "bi women are all sluts who love threesomes and can't live without cheating" shit.

No. 185725

>>185703
Were the women you've dated also bi, or lesbians? How did you identify yourself to them, and how did they react?
I'm asking because I've been a very confused person. I've dated men in the past but realized that I'm honestly not attracted to them. Thought I was bi but I'm attracted to women. But I'm pretty sure lesbians hate people like me? I feel like a fraud.
Or is that just one of those internet things where IRL actual people don't really give a shit and it's just a very vocal minority on the internet who never leave their houses who are outspoken on it?
I'm surprised that people are so quick to be judgemental about lesbians but this doesn't seem to be an issue with gay men?

No. 185754

>>185703
Telling ppl ur lesbian then dating a man is so fucked up

No. 185756

>>185720
>It's also important to know if someone you're dating buys into that "bi women are all sluts who love threesomes and can't live without cheating" shit
It's mental illness to lead a double life and lie about who u r & split up ur identity just to accomodate gross people who think this about you gosh, why would you even be friends with them or date men you think have this low of an opinion about ur sexuality as a woman, I would never

No. 185805

>>185703
Do not do this. Lying and saying you’re a lesbian hurts both lesbians and bi women with a preference for women. Just be honest and not a lying piece of shit?

No. 185847

Y'all Bis should really get your priority straight with pretending to be lesbians with severe daddy issues

No. 185853

>>185847
What do you mean?

No. 185854

>>185847
Just tag whatever post you're actually talking about.

No. 185857

>>185854
I'm assuming she's talking about all the retarded advice some anons gave upthread about pretending to be gay to your loved ones instead of just telling them you're bi.

No. 185876

>>185591
I've never got "coming out" as a concept tbh. I think it's only worth it if you're in a serious relationship with another woman and even then you can just say that you have a gf and let that be that.

>>185720
Not mentioning something if it doesn't come up is different from lying about it. I don't agree with the anon who calls herself a lesbian when she's dating women, but coming out can be pretty awkward for everybody involved ime. I don't see why she can't just let people draw their own conclusions.

No. 185882

>>185876
>Not mentioning something if it doesn't come up is different from lying about it
Ok? I never said that. The anon I replied to said that she "gave up" on being bisexual, started saying that she is lesbian, then started saying that she is straight and tells her partner that her previous girlfriends were just experiments. She didn't say to not mention it unless it comes up, she said that OP should identify as a lesbian if she gets a gf.

No. 186036

Anons, wdyd if you get a gf but have to keep her secret from your parents for yours and her safety?

No. 186053

Anyone here feels like the opposite of Bisexual stereotypes?
I only see men as good flings/ sex may be while girls I want to have long term relationships with

No. 186055

>>186036
Idk the details anon but if you fear for your safety you should consider cutting or severely reducing contact, only coming out to a select few in the family if you trust them and generally keeping your gf away from them.
Best of luck though

No. 186091

>>185215 here's why I do not think it's ok to do the homosex

Homosexuality is not ok because I believe in the law of nature, as in natural design is a good blueprint for what is right and wrong, and we're supposed to follow that. Like hands are designed to grip and make, women are not designed for women. Thus, when I get a biological reaction from other women, I understand it is wrong.

In a heterosexual relationship, something is being created, life, and this contributes to society and family, so it's more meaningful than a homosexual relationship which is only centered around vain pleasure instead of honouring creation and passing down something meaningful.
And there's something about the 'hetero' other that's less vain. Learning to live with someone different, balancing different forces of nature (male/female) it's the way it's supposed to be.
I believe that healthy homes and childhoods are far less likely to create homosexual children, as most of these gays I fraternised with had problems, anxieties and bad homes.

Also, I believe in God and know that there is something greater than this life. So what if I only find women's bodies attractive? This is my struggle to deal with. I still want to honour nature and life meaningfully.

I have sought counselling and now understand that it is a symptom of spiritual illness. You are all entitled to your opinions and I don't believe it's my place to tell you what to do. I don't hate you gays at all, I understand how it is to feel the way you feel, but I still thing it's the wrong thing to do. Like I don't hate smokers, but I wish they would stop smoking.

>>185215

I don't think this is homophobia as I see homos as full humans and respect them, and hope I gave this impression here. This is lolcow.farm, where there are a variety of retarded opinions, and that's ok.

No. 186092

>>186091
Homophobia-chan, this is the bisexual thread. Why are you here to tell us about how horrible you think homosexuality is?

No.