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No. 227924
Last thread:
>>213421You know the drill.
No. 227957
>>227938You know your relationship better than I do and if you don't feel comfortable moving in with your bf then don't. Personally, I dropped out of the workforce and went to live with my bf (now husband) and it was incredibly and deeply helpful for me, holy shit. Having someone nearby who loves me deeply? Not constantly fearing for my survival in a career I absolutely hated? I went from being near suicidal alcoholic to being kinda a bit anxious, am now off all medicine too.
I don't think you'll die, look up food pantries in your area if you are worried about food in particular they usually are pretty good at least in my area. Keep in mind therapy is a slow process, and depending on the nature of your illness it might not be something curable but something you learn to live with.
No. 227961
>>227959I dont know how good it is but there are online psychologists/therapists.
All psychiatrists usually do is prescribe meds anyway–if you don't want that it makes more sense to start with a therapist.
No. 227971
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I'm experiencing a lot of weird feelings right now. I moved home recently after I graduated from college (I'm a loser), and today I was cleaning the house because my mom is really stressed out right now and she's obsessed with keeping things spotless so I thought I would do it for her. Anyway, I was dusting this little entertainment center in the living room and there is a picture of my on it. It's my senior photo, the ones they take for you at school. And I realized I can barely even recognize myself. I felt weird all day and I finally cried about it a little bit earlier.
I can't really articulate it, but I'm just so sad about the way I've gone about living my life for the past five years. Basically, I've had some type of anxiety and depression my entire life. When I say I have literally no friends and barely leave my house except to go to work, I mean it. I spent college going to class, coming back to my apartment alone, and eating everything in sight. Food is the only thing that has ever made things feel alright for me. I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I've been through the gamut of weird behaviors from purging, to restricting, and most often, binging. The result is a weight gain of about 25 pounds since that picture was taken. Another thing that hit me is just how bad I look in general now. I tend to rip out chunks of my hair whenever I feel…bad. I feel like I have anger issues, but I only ever take it out on myself by scratching my body or ripping hair out. In that picture I have such nice hair, it used to be so thick and it was honestly pretty. It feels weird to say that but it was.
But what's weird is back then, all throughout school, I fucking hated myself and would do anything to change how I looked. I starved myself, I hit myself, I attempted suicide once for no specific reason. But that picture hit me so hard because I could see that I wasn't actually that bad. And it makes me so fucking sad that I hated myself that much, to the point where I eventually just gave up, and now I really AM fat and ugly. The way I look now is the way that I thought I looked back then, but I didn't. You would never hear me say that I was beautiful, but when I saw that picture today I just felt like wow…there was something pretty about me back then. I'm not so fat, I'm not so tired looking, I haven't abused myself too much yet.
But it's obviously about more than just the way I looked. Back then at least I had hope that no matter how miserable I was, I was going to go away to college and I was going to accomplish things I wanted to accomplish. I had no idea what was in store for me, but I had that feeling that things were really going to start looking up for me and things were going to fall into place and I was going to be happy. And now I'm sitting here five years later and none of that happened. I'm not successful. I have a useless degree. I didn't make friends. I've never been in a relationship. I didn't suddenly become outgoing and likable and more talented. I didn't stop hating myself. I couldn't make enough money to stay in the city I went to college in, the one I always wanted to live in.
And I feel like I can never get that hope back. When you're 18 and about to graduate your ~life is just beginning~ so you kind of have to be hopeful about it. But my life has "begun" now and it fucking sucks. And I fucking suck. And I'm just so sad about everything that has happened, everything that HASN'T happened, and the person I am. I just wish I could be the person that I could have become. But I didnt, and now I just feel like it's over. I don't know where to go from here.
Sorry this is so long.
No. 227976
File: 1518057582592.png (200.42 KB, 638x574, 1495537856701.png)
it's kind of an abstract feel
i was always an "ugly duckling" because i didn't know shit about how to style myself and wore a glasses + braces combo for a lot of school. i wasn't bullied or anything but i was always the smart girl and not the pretty girl. i dropped out of HS and finished in online school, basically sitting in my room for 2 years.
during those two years i had my braces off, started wearing contacts, lost a bunch of weight (depression is a good diet i guess), frequented /cgl/, and finally learned how to style myself in a flattering way. and now i'm in college and guys are tripping over themselves left and right, probably the same ones who were popular in HS who wouldn't have bat an eye. i don't know if i like it. on one hand, i'm happy i'm pretty for my own sake. on the other hand, being thought of as sexually attractive is really gross to me. i've never been on a date before and like 5 people have asked within the first few weeks of the semester and i don't know what to do because i don't want to be taken advantage of. it's like a weird source of stress knowing that none of these guys want to be friends with me, they just want to date. i had plenty of guy friends when i was uggo because it was easier.
i bet it sounds really stupid, but i don't know how tf to navigate men as a pretty person.
No. 227977
>>227976
>it's like a weird source of stress knowing that none of these guys want to be friends with me, they just want to date.Knowing that they are objectifying you and they just want to have sex?
As women we are damned if we do and damned if we don't look attractive (or nearly any other quality or activity) as defined by men.
Welcome to patriarchy.
No. 227979
>>227976>I have guys tripping over me and asking me on datesWelcome to college, anon! This was me and I was only a 6/10 on my best day and at my lowest weight.
Protip: Most just want to get laid. It's fine to go on a few fun dates but consider that your instincts are correct and that a lot of their pining is superficial only. Give it time to weed out the ones who clearly will at least put in the effort over those who just want to get in your pants.
No. 227982
>>227971If it makes you feel better (worse?) I think that a lot of people wish they could "go back". I wish I could too.
You're 22-23 ish your life is still ~just beginning~. You don't realize how much potential you have but you do. I'm 30 right now and I remember panicking over bs when I was 22-23 but hell, I had all the potential in the world. I was a baby then. Your brain doesn't even finish developing/maturing til 25. Like?
You just got out of college. Your parents are alive so you have a safety net which is great and I think many people if not most stay with their parents after graduating. Most jobs just require "a" degree and not a specific degree, you have work experience, you can always go back to school (my mom went for a 2nd degree in her 50s), you can always lose weight, you can always start dating, you can always pick up a hobby and work on getting new talents and make friends. You probably won't get more outgoing but you'll probably get more likeable as you get older and more mature. You talk like an old woman on her deathbed but you're a recent college grad in her early 20s. Anxiety can fuck up your thoughts and you should get treatment for it if you can, but that's what it is.
No. 227984
I don’t think my boyfriend understands my relationship to money. I failed to get through college because I had to pay my tuition and living expenses. I lost my scholarship after a health emergency that forced me to take time off school, and with medical bills to pay on top of that- there was no choice but to start working full time. I took a shitty job for the benefits to help with doctors visits and medication. I moved back in with my parents to actually start saving money and I’ve been meaning to get back to school so I can get a degree that will help advance my career.
I met my boyfriend in the middle of his. His parents payed for the 5 and a half years it took for him to get a STEM degree from an expensive university. Including the fees and expenses to be a part of a fraternity there.
He immediately got a job that pays a salary that I don’t think I can ever hope to make- and he’s only doubled that since I’ve met him.
I’ve since moved out of my mom and dad’s house, gotten a somewhat better position and continue to save up for school. I have to work 9 hour shifts for the time being, though, and it’s overwhelmingly busy the whole time. But I’m lucky to have this position.
A girl I work with asked if my boyfriend takes me nice places because of his job. And I said not really because I couldn’t afford to pay my part of the bill. Which she was shocked to hear about because she thought he should be paying for all my shit. I’m proud to be able to pay for my half of a meal or a vacation, though. I’ve worked really hard to be able to. In response she told me I should be telling him to pay for my entertainment.
When I tried to retell this to my boyfriend over a dinner date he said, “Well you can ask me for money. I won’t say yes to everything, but you can ask…”
Which I’m not mad about, but he definitely misunderstood.
Later when we got our checks he loudly asked for 2 and said, “Give her her own check.” Then after the server left he said, “I did that because of what you said earlier. It wasn’t very nice.”
And I was just totally caught off guard by that. I thought it was sort of patronizing. So I was quiet on the ride home trying to figure out what my deal was for getting upset.
He noticed that I was upset and asked me why later over a message. I told him I thought he acted like an asshole when he asked for the checks and he went off on me. He called me deceptive, saying I lied to him about being okay with splitting bills (we have done this 90% of the time our whole relationship.) He said I was rude for not communicating my thoughts earlier.
When I got angry in response he called me childish and immature and a liar. We tried to resolve things over a phone call but he could NOT even BEGIN to see my point of view in this. He only saw it as ME overreacting (which wtf he was the one to angrily escalate things in the first place.)
Once he started to make me cry I said I didn’t want to talk to him anymore because he was being mean, frankly. To which he says, “I’m not trying to be mean.” But I don’t know what other intentions you could have when you are using hurtful language.
I don’t even understand what happened here. Like wtf is his point? Is he hurt that I don’t want his money? And is that seriously something to be so insulting over?
No. 227987
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I'm tired of seeing sick shit online. I never intentionally watch gore anymore, never visit 4chan specifically with the intention of avoid watching murder and cruelty but it's everywhere. There's gore on Instagram, I now know, as I stumbled on a page last night FILLED with animal torture videos. I should've dodged out immediately but curiosity got the best of me as always and now I have to carry this sick shit around with me all day. I can't stop thinking about it and I'm fucking disgusted with the human race.
No. 227990
>>227984I don't think he really reacted in a constructive manner, but yes, like what
>>227985 says, money is a big thing to men, it (in part) gives them their sense of worth. I think to have you seem like you're suddenly changing your attitude on something as important as that was quite a shock to him, and he didn't react very well.
That said, I really respect your independence in insisting on paying for your part of the bill. Your friend may have her own opinions on the matter but it's your relationship, you and your boyfriend should make the call.
Good luck anon, I hope this ends well.
No. 227994
>>227984I don't have a lot to go on here, but from the sounds of this story I think his behavior isn't of someone who loves you. Even with the misunderstanding, how can his reaction be pissed off instead of shocked and hurt? And trying to teach his gf a lesson? WTF?
I realize you need to make the best of your circumstances financially, so I won't advise you to end this relationship. I'm sorry anon.
No. 228011
>>228007> The worst is that the doctor just kept saying "everyone has scoliosis", "there are worse things out there", "nothing to think about", which to me was very unprofessional and belittling.Is there a way you can get another doctor to take care of you? He sounds really inconsiderate and unprofessional. I remember a guy in high school who got surgery because he got a severe case of scoliosis, and when he was able to go back to school some months later he wouldn't stop saying that it changed his life (in a good way of course). I don't know how that works at all but maybe this could help you?
>It makes me so incredibly frustrated to see people around my age (I'm 20) be so reckless with their health such as drinking, sitting in front of the computer for long periods of time, eat unhealthy etc and still be fine and in ok health, while I'm so immaculate with my health habits and I'm still in such bad condition.I don't have a health problem anymore but I can totally relate to that. It pisses me off too but life isn't really fair to begin with. Try not to compare yourself to other people, it'll make you feel frustrated for nothing.
No. 228016
>>228008Thank you, I'm trying.
>>228011I'm not 100% sure. I will try finding a better doctor to go to. The hospital lines are pretty long. I had to wait six months just to get a doctor to look at me and say "yeah you have scoliosis alright" lol.
Surgery isn't an option for me, since I don't have severe scoliosis. A curve of 45-50 degree is when they start talking about surgery iirc. Mine is considered moderate. I also have a leg that is longer than the other.
I try to be positive, but sometimes it just gets too hard when I can't sleep for the nth time because of back pain. I mean, there are Olympians with no arms and legs that love life, yet I get frustrated by such a "small" problem. I feel silly. Thank you so much for bothering to reply anon, bless you.
No. 228038
I worry that I'm being too big of a bitch, but one the other hand, I'm like: girl, you really shouldn't care.
There's this guy that is crushing on me. I won't say he's in love, because we haven't talked for years and suddenly he reemerged out of nowhere with confessions, it's weird. He doesn't know me at all, I'm a different person, he's projecting his fantasies onto me, clearly. I have platonic crushes sometimes, but I think crushing on someone from your past, with whom you have no contact whatsoever, is way more pathetic.
Anyway, he dumped a lot of private intimate stuff and problems on me right away. Even though I ignored him for like a month before responding, because I just couldn't be arsed.
I think that if you willingly left my life, you're not entitled to coming back. It's only my good will that I'm even responding -> is it mean or is it reasonable?
Anyway, I'm really not into it. He invited me out and I said I'm too busy with school to even think about it (which is true) but now I regret being too nice about it, because he said he'll try again later.
Now I wonder if I should say hey, sorry, this won't work out, bye, and cut him off, or say that I'm not up for dates but we can hang out as friends.
My girl senses are telling me he has issues and I should just cut him off. My bitch side is generally pissed that he thinks I will deal with his problems and "rescue him" while I don't give a flying fuck, but my conscience is like dude, you have common interests, maybe try being friends again, you're too mean and angry for nothing.
I don't know.
No. 228042
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>>228038I don't think you need to be harsh but yeah
a) nothing more obnoxious or unsexy than a guy who wants a free therapist and emotional intimacy right out of the gate. (Go on the internet if you want free amateur therapy lel)
b) nothing more cringey than trying to revive a years dead relationship in pursuit of romance. Does he not have anyone he likes who is already in his life? (and if not, why not?)
c) I think male/female friendships can work sometimes, but not if you know he is "crushing on you". That's setting it up to be a mess even if you were to be nice.
d) being rejected is part of being a man. He'll get over it.
>>227999I think older students can and should socialize with other students when it comes to academic stuff (study groups etc). And not be afraid to keep in touch with other students too. My mother didn't believe me and felt self-conscious as a student in her 50s, but I personally really liked being able to talk with older students and have them in my groups because they were more serious/driven as students and had a more mature outlook. I don't see why you should shy away from all the hokey job fairs or whatever either.
But of course, when it comes to more "fun" socializing then do what other (single) adults do and look out for local groups with hobbies you find fun. I was a student into my late 20s (Grad school) and I had a church group and a book club I loved and I was able to socialize with other adults who were in the workforce instead of a bunch of students all the time.
No. 228044
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I just got one of my wisdom teeth taken out only 2 days ago and now my period has come.
Why has the world forsaken me.
No. 228050
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>>226818I never got to reply to this but yes I still live with her. I'm trying to find work, I don't want to live at home with her anymore, I thought I would be ok with it but I'm not. I'm still learning finances and budgeting and I don't even have a job yet but I'm hoping if I can get employed in the next coming months and save, maybe I can move out by the end of the year.
My dad 100% indulges and enables her so there's no way she'd get institutionalized. She doesn't even have any official mental illness diagnosis as far as I know, despite being on THREE different psychiatric medications (an anti-depressant, a mood stabilizer, and xanax… crazy when you are a munchie, the kind of things you can get doctor shopping). She doesn't believe in therapy and won't even go to a psychiatrist for her medications, they're all from ERs or from regular primary physicians that she finds. She's been hospitalized a handful of times against her will after having episodes (usually related to overdosing on her medications) and acting out violently, but its like once the drugs wear off in the hospital she flips a switch and is able to talk her way out of being kept. She'll stay for a couple days at most and then always sweet talks her way into being released or is able to blame things on all her own self-diagnosed illnesses and the doctors don't know enough to care. Our hospital system is so overburdened that they aren't going to keep someone that doesn't want to say and seems sound of mind not to kill themselves or anyone else, sad but it's just the way it is.
Guess what her latest illness is, as of last week? Amnesia. She's claiming she literally has amnesia. She's always claimed to have a bad memory, but would blame things on "brain/cancer/lupus fog" if you tried to bring up only bad behavior on her end. Anything else, she can remember perfectly and honestly can be quite the nag about. But if you bring up "Hey, remember last week when you chimped out at 2am and started smashing dishes around the kitchen because you ran out of medicine early, can you please not do that again?" you'll be met with an angry and offended "I DON'T REMEMBER THAT HOW DARE YOU I can't help it!! I have lupus/cancer/etc I can't remember that at all!! It's not my fault even if I could remember!!" Well, now she's graduated to full on claiming amnesia. Claims to have no memories of the past year but they "come back to her" as she sees fit. Example: she can't remember the multiple hospitalizations she insisted on for benign things like being constipated, but she CAN remember the slightly snippy comment I made two months ago and will bring it up incessantly. She doesn't even try hard to fake anymore because she knows none of the family has any power to say anything.
I've been doing a lot of reading on personality disorders and people who are abusive with them, I wouldn't even begin to guess what the fuck is wrong with my mom but I've read that it's actually a really common trait for them to have "bad memories" specifically in response to times they were abusive or times they had meltdowns because it's how they deal with guilt/shame- instead of admitting they did something wrong and feel bad, they deny it by claiming not to remember. It's why people who have abusive childhoods often have their parents not remember it later on in life too. It kind of makes sense. Her life is just a constant state of denial.
No. 228066
>>227938>>227971You guys are me, seriously. I feel so helpless and so far behind, but I could never articulate it as well as these two posts. It’s all so much little shit that snowballs together to hit you all at once and you realize how much time you spent to only be where you are, and it’s soul crushing. Then you can’t even tell anyone IRL because you get told to be grateful for what you have, you could be a lot worse off, lots of other people have struggled worse than you, and you have no room to be unhappy about anything you weren’t born into because then you’re just wanting too much.
I feel like I’m trapped in a prison colony stocked with robots programmed to trip me up and make me feel shitty by being as passive aggressive as possible and setting me up to fail knowing I have no safety net.
No. 228073
>>227924I think I am in love with a man for the first time in my life. I'm in my 20s, but I was never in a romantic relationship (I thought I may be asexual or aromantic actually), but recently I've met a man online, and I am at least smitten. I love to talk to him, he is smart and extremely polite, also kind of feminine (which I like a lot). The problem is, there's a huge physical distance between us, and I am a bit taller than him (I love that, but he may not like it as much as I do). I don't know what to do. I feel like my emotions are completely consuming me.
I don't want to make him uncomfortable.
No. 228074
>>228040>>228042thanks anons.
>Does he not have anyone he likes who is already in his life? (and if not, why not?)answer: muh gf cheated because I'm not like the other men and wanted to wait.
He thinks he's such a complex person, such a victim, much different, many problems, so emo. I thought people mature out of this phase in middle school.
Okay, I'll fix things the next time he invites me out. Hopefully he will leave me alone…
No. 228076
>>228073i know it could be true love between you two and your experience might be totally different but reading this makes me wanna scream "don't do it anon!"
threw five years of my life away like this, wasted my early twenties on some long distance online bullshit and it's hell
No. 228083
>>228073i met my husband online–it's a 10 1/2 drive just to see him but it's entirely worth it in the end. like
>>228076 said, things could go wrong but that's the same with any type of relationship. go ahead and do it, anon, don't let the distance stop you!
No. 228085
>>228073I think you should stick with it for now, since like you said you are kinda grey-ace or whatever and its a rare thing for you to be infatuated with someone. May as well stick with it for now, and see where it takes you.
I met my husband via a LDR internet thing, so did at least one of my aunt/uncle (they've been married for like almost 20 years now? met on ICQ in the 90s). One of my sisters met her husband on an LDR. I know LDR works fine as long as you are committed and have serious and concrete medium-term goals in mind (same with short distance relationships ime).
But infatuation in general fades with time, and its because you feel so strongly I worry that you are blinding yourself. It seems teenager-ish? The line 'even his flaws make him cuter' worries me the most. Infatuation is not love. Being smitten isn't love. In my experience they can even lead to bigger letdowns (as infatuation fluctuates) than they do to long term stability.
>>228082He's just your bf, not your husband. If you guys are serious you treat them the same as other family members you don't like–civil/polite, but keeping a healthy distance outside of big holidays. This is a bigger issue when its vice-versa (his family hates you), and even then that's his issue to work out, not yours. If he cares about you he'll put you first, and if not he's not someone you want to have a serious relationship with anyway.
No. 228095
>>228080hiya
so - this isn't throwing shade but it's the most honest reply i have - basically there was a reason we couldn't find anyone irl. he had crippling ocd and i was an autistic retard with limited relationship experience - i also suspect i'm demisexual which is why i connected with your post. we were both deeply flawed people with an inability to form proper and meaningful relationships with the people around us - both falling in love with the idea of each other, rather than the actual people behind the screen.
it started out with infatuation much like you're describing. we were talking p. much 16 hrs a day when we could through email, he was telling me he loved me. few months down the line i was pressing to meet (we're both uk so it wasn't meeting meant a 20 hr flight or anything, could probably have hopped on the megabus and been there in a couple of hours).
it never happened.eventually we got comfortable with each other's online presence and he started exploding at me for petty stuff, sending tirades of abuse. forbade me from having male friends, going out for a drink with friends, would monitor all my social media. told me a few times in his rants that my dead dad would be sickened by who i turned out to be.
but then he would always send love notes and sometimes gifts until i was won back around. eventually i found out that he basically lived in a sealed up apartment with boarded up windows and had never allowed anyone to come in. he was a hoarder and he lived through the internet. it suddenly made sense to me as to why we hadn't met up by that point.
until then i had been thinking of just cutting ties, but knowing that changed everything for me. i have been hospitalised for mental health issues and i knew how lonely it is and how people give up on you really quickly, and how shit the services are. i could empathise, and wanted to help - not without ulterior motive obviously cos i wanted to be with him irl, but it was painful to think of someone left alone to rot. i started reading loads of stuff about ocd, took online counselling courses, anything i could think of that might help. was there online faithfully every lunchtime and every evening.
in retrospect i think he was a person in a really bad place who just needed a friend. i would have been that for him, but i wish he hadn't lead me on for years under the pretence of wanting to pursue a relationship.
people in my life by this point were telling me to cut him out cos he was mean and it was a weird situation, and they felt i wasn't living like a young woman should. i just ended up hiding it all from friends and not talking about it to anyone.
i truly believed it would work out and it would be perfect and happy eventually, cos i was naive and kind, with shitty self-esteem. i think he took advantage of that a bit, but to be fair i was the one buying into my own delusions too. i truly felt like all this invested time would get cosmically rewarded, by him suddenly getting better and wanting to live a normal life irl as a couple.
in real life i was really lonely. nobody there at my exhibitions, nobody there at my graduations, nobody there when i was in the hospital, nobody there when my flat was broken into. etc. etc. etc.
i'd like to say it ended in some dramatic and finite way but i just had to find the willpower to stop talking to him, after his millionth explosion. he never got better and while it still hurts me deeply to think of him as being still ill and alone in that little apartment, i know in my heart that it'll never be a healthy relationship, and that it was making me unwell.
still dunno if i did the right thing by walking away but i want a happy life and maybe even a family one day. made a choice.
No. 228101
>>228095I had a 6-7 year long distance friendship with a guy who spent most of his time in his room. Not as bad as that and not a relationship but like you, we are only a few hours apart and we never met.
Also I have a crush on someone who lives VERY far away and fits the description of the other Anon's crush (smart, polite, a bit feminine)
Relating hard rn :')
No. 228109
>>228095>>228101I think that anyone with long term goals/hopes in mind ought to meet up within a few (3?) months if they're in the same country and like within a year if they're international. Unless you are in highschool, I have no idea how you can be in a 5-7 year "relationship" and never meet up irl.
Did either of you skype? Or get on webcam? Because honestly this is going to sound shit of me but as a 12-14 year old girl in the late 90s-early 00s I'm pretty sure I accidentally catfished some girls by pretending to be a man on the internet.
No. 228113
>>228109yeah tbh, LDRs aren't for everyone, but if yours fails for reasons beyond the ones that also happen with short distance relationships, it's pretty much on you. (not meeting up ever, being dishonest about your appearance, having no plans to move in together, etc).
LDRs actually require you to be proactive about your relationship. I see so many people who just languish in the exclusively online relationship then bitch about how they're a waste of time.
You are the one wasting your time.
sry that rant got kind of tangential but before I moved in W my LDR people would always scoff and be super negative about my relationship and it was fucking annoying and disheartening (these same people usually couldn't keep their own in person relationships going). I'm just glad I didn't listen to bitter assholes.
No. 228164
File: 1518167389485.png (476.53 KB, 560x500, 1454963291570.png)
I just saw an ex friend on twitter is becoming more and more racist. And she thinks she's progressive because she's openly shitting on everyone who's not black like her, even when it comes to other "POCs" (god I hate this word so much). She's the type of woman who spergs about SJW shit all the time and ask for more representation of black people in mainstream
american media, but the very few times I've seen characters that were from my ethnic group, she and other mutual friends would rejoice at the black or arab representation and blackwash or whitewash them in their shitty fanarts. I can only count these characters on one hand, so way to be a hypocrite. I honestly don't care when people do that but I hate when they pretend they care about such things when they don't.
The more I think about her the more I'm glad I started avoiding her some months ago. I'm also glad her art is absolutely trash even though she went to art school and openly insults (not criticize but straight up insult) better and more successful artists. It feels like karma is an actual thing for being an asshole.
No. 228165
>>228109Someone else mentioned this to me. So we were originally from the same forum, I met a lot of people from there IRL so he knew I was real, and he's dating a really awful person from that forum now (she pays for $expensive$ tickets to see him and he never visits her. He tried to keep chatting and flirting with me while dating her and told me "she's much more into me than I her" which is why I cut it off)
So basically we are both verified real due to the larger friendgroup.
The other guy I have a crush on I basically have very little verification they're real especially as I prefer a persona of theirs to their "main" personality so lol*
(guy who wants to be trans and has both a male and female account)
Btw I have dated guys IRL and they were all fine [but most were a little rapey and they have a few personality flaws making relationships difficult e.g narcissism, depression, specific niche fetishes that cut out 98% people] My advice to smitten Anon is date IRL people if you haven't yet, just because you'll see a truth about them they'll never show online. They are NEVER the same IRL and I've met a lot of internet people.
No. 228226
>>228165Thank you very much, I've already tried going on dates, but I really couldn't make myself like the other person more than just as a friend. Woah, the guy you've met on
line was really unfortunate, it's good you cut it off.
>>228085Thank you for your advice, I've never thought it may just be an infatuation, but I guess it makes sense. I can't really look at things rationally and I am honestly acting like an obsessed teen. Well, I hope it will become more stable with time. It's great you've married your ldr, hope everything goes well for you!
>>228095Oh, your story is really sad. Are you feeling better now? Yeah, you were both in miserable situations, but that didn't excuse him from abusing you! I really admire your courage to finally end it. Yes, I also think I am in ldr because of my inability to like someone irl.
No. 228241
I'm felling pretty dumb and humiliated right now.
I am 25 years old and never had a boyfriend or close friends. I was depressed for about 5 years and was a shut in for 3 years. In 2015 I got a job, lost weight, cleared my skin and got my own place. I worked in a nice environment for 18 months, during this time I got 2 close friends but no boyfriend. I didn't really mind, I was ready to die a virgin.
In Augutst 2017 got another job and a really handsome dude asked me out in a very cliche way after giving me chocolates for a week, I started dating him and didn't really think about it, it did not feel real in some parts. With the guy I meet people and refound my liking to weed and biking. The guy just wanted to fuck me because he really did not take me out to dates and I always used to pay for what we eat, just walk a lot and smoke weed (I enjoyed that but wanted to do more things) he also insisted a lot in going to hotels and his place. My mind was not ready yet to see this behavior as bad, it was my first relationship.
We dated for 3 months and then I find out he is married, this hurt a lot, but I was to naive, apathetic, and sort of in love to drop the guy. After I found out, nothing changed, he still kept trying to get in my pants and only thing we did when we were together was walk and smoke. The guy is a player, he has dated lots of girls and even tried to hit on a coworker. I was to entangled to leave him.
I did leave my job and got a new one to try to get away from him, it lasted for 2 weeks when we met by chance at my new workplace, we continued the same relationship for 2 more months.
On Thursday last week, he meets me after work with all his clothes in luggage telling me that he left his wife and told her that he is going to try with me, that I'm a better fit for him. I was surprised but at the same time I did not give it much thought, it did not feel real as well.
I spent the night with him and paid for a hotel to stay the night since he has nowhere to stay, he told me that we were going to work things out together and shit. That night he told me that things were complicated, that we wants to be with me but that we met at a wrong time, that he wishes to start things over with me; he is part of a Hindu bullshit religion that believes in Karma, that if you kill yourself, you start over; he told me that he was going to kill himself because in this life it is very hard for us to be together, he cries, yells and shit. I actually believed him this time.
Next day I go to work and he tells me that he will call me once my shift is over to meet up. He didn't call, I message him but does not respond, I spend all Saturday in agony thinking that he actually killed himself. I never call his number because he has a wife and I don't like cause him problems, this day I called him, he answers and I hang up immediately. I calm myself down for an hour and call him again, this time his wife answers and I hang up the phone. I felt pretty cheated, numb, disappointing and angry.
I try to let go, on Tuesday I look him up on facebook but closed his account after causing some problem for being rude on a computer sale group. I look at his wife's account and see them both together, he had shaven his head (while we were dating he had longish hair and always commented that he wanted to grow his hair really long). This time all feels real and I feel like dying, the pain is too hard to bear.
I know I should have left him once I found out he had a wife and after all the red flags, I was just to naive and never had experience with relationships. I thought I could handle this and sort of play the game. Sorry for writing all this, I had to let it out.
No. 228243
>>228241Forgot to add that he did tell his wife and his best friend about us. On Thursday night while we were together his wife messaged me telling me how smug I am for taking a married man to bed and to be aware of his manipulate ways, she also told me that he has cheated before and after being married to her.
On that night I was also able to get access to his Messenger account since the dumb asshole logged on my cellphone to check his messages (he doesn't have a smartphone, says it is to keep his privacy). There I read that he told his friend about us and about starting a life togheter, his friend warns him that he does not have a home and income to leave his wife (Once I changed jobs, he quit as well and has not gotten one since, it was October last year since he quit).
I read his wife's conversation and she actually went to the area of hotels we were to look for him, at 1:00 am in the morning, I also find out that she is christian and that he took her virginity.
I feel like I lost him for good and will never get closure (that I also lost all the money that I used to pay for food and hotels) but also feel like I dodged a bullet, guy is definitely a manipulative asshole.
No. 228244
>>228241He sounds like such a tossbag. Seriously the turning up with his suitcase (without your agreement!) and then go back to the wife and ignore you. Taking advantage of a young woman. Ugh.
Ddoooo noott go back to him. Also you did not meet "by chance" in your new job, he stalked you to find you and continue the affair, which tells you all you need to know about him
No. 228254
>>228241he is disgusting and in a while you will be able to look back at the situation, emotionally distanced and evaluate it for what it really is: a fucking SCAM
this sort of shit happens to everyone, so don't feel humiliated, but please be good to yourself and never speak to him again
No. 228260
File: 1518214808817.png (179.94 KB, 599x355, 1466766305393.png)
>mfw I just discovered Instagram
Wow, endless amateur girls dressed in anime cosplay to jack off to, some even jailbait.
Why did I not figure this out sooner?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
No. 228275
>>228243His wife sounds like an ultra cuckquean who can't muster the strength to leave him, but believe her. He's not worth your thoughts anon, he's willing to lie about killing himself if it means an opportunity to get his dick wet.
I'm sorry your first experience didn't work out. It doesn't seem fair that so many "firsts" are creeps. Mine was. But you'll heal in time, you can always give it another go later and don't fall for the "too old" meme.
No. 228319
I'm going to break up with my boyfriend of three years right at the moment I'd always thought I'd be settling down with him. There's no bad reason for my choice, no big fight; I've just realized that we're just not at all compatible and we never have been. We want completely different things for the future, which is only becoming apparent now that I'm seriously thinking about a future and settling down with him. Our paths are without a doubt going to deviate, and I need to think about starting a new future with someone who's right for me before it's too late, and let my current boyfriend go so that he can start a better future too.
My only fear is what's going to come next. He was my first boyfriend, and I spent a good portion of my youth on him. I know I won't be able to immediately jump into another relationship and do all those things I want like getting married and starting a family. But on the other hand, I feel like my time to do those things is running out, and I need to find someone quick. I don't want to just pick the first new guy I date out of desperation, because if I'm doing that, chances are that guy's going to be wrong too. I don't know where to go from here or what to do. I just want so badly to do things like marry and have children, but reaching that point is going to take time and patience, both of which I'm quickly running out of. I could marry and start a family with my current boyfriend, sure, but it would end in disaster for us both and I'd just be doing it for the brief happiness it would bring me in the beginning. It all just seems so far out of my grasp. I don't know if I'm infected with baby fever or something, but I want to be a wife and mother so desperately now more than ever. I suppose it's probably because I'd anticipated doing those things with my boyfriend right about now, and instead I've chosen to end our relationship. I'm just so scared and directionless.
No. 228335
>>228329Jesus anon, (I'm 21 for reference) you have genuinely got so much time. The vast majority of people I have ever known of get married and start their families at like 32, I was expecting you to say you're like 40 or something. It sounds cliche but you should put time into pursuing your hobbies or w/e for now because not only is it good for you but can help you find a guy with similar interests and compatibility in the long run. I completely understand baby fever is a bitch though, I have it too.
>literally googled recently if my city has one of those programs where you can volunteer at a hospital to cuddle babies born to drug-addicted parents/ parents who leaveYou really are totally fine though. Coming out of a long term relationship like that will have you feeling like this cause it almost feels like a setback or something, but you'll realise eventually how silly it is. I know I sure did.
No. 228368
>>228349>>228349Not much to add but lot of bisexuals will come out as gay before they come out as bi. I was one of them. The stigma against bisexuals even among lesbian/gay people is pretty high. "Lesbian until graduation", while hokey and possibly outdated (?) was a thing for a reason.
If she's on the asexual spectrum she might have had the delusion that girls don't care about sex and she can have just a relationship of pure cuddles uwu with girls and you hooking up kinda knocked that pedestal over for her.
Staying with someone out of fear of loneliness is always the worst idea tho. Like there are so many fish in the sea, even for wlw, especially in the internet era.
No. 228372
>>228371Try going outside, like to your local library, to the park, get some drinks with a few friends. Maybe even get a hobby, join like a board game club or something. Its a big world out there.
Also try adjusting the brightness on your computer or using f.lux, I need to have my screens orange at night if I don't want my eyes sore as hell.
http://www.allaboutvision.com/cvs/irritated.htmAnd all that stuff too
No. 228381
>>228374>>2283741)Take your gross pee-pants off
2) Put them in the washing machine to get them clean google says vinegar can take the pee stink out.
3) Stop peeing your pants at school or go to a doctor if this is a real incontinence issue for you
No. 228382
>>228381ahah well I did that much
I mean like coping with humiliation
No. 228451
>>228382What caused you to pee yourself? Unless you did it on purpose, you should just keep in mind that it's something that happens. People have bladders, said bladders are usually filled with urine, you had an accident that made it leak out, end of story.
Piss isn't even especially bad, out could have been worse. You could have shat yourself.
No. 228470
>>228460>>228462Not telling either of you to settle at all but I find that average looking guys grow on me. Both my ex and current bf are average with some “ugly” features. At first I wasn’t particularly attracted to either of them, but when I got to know them better and we connected on an emotional level I started to think they were hot and even found their “ugly” parts cute. Not just in a “he’s got a cool personality so I can deal with him not being that cute” way, like I really do like their appearances
As I said, never settle! If you can never see yourself thinking he’s cute, give it a miss. But it’s worth trying out the potentially cute guys
No. 228472
Karma is potentially going to bite me, my manager, and the person that oversees my manager in the ass.
So we have an employee that's been out sick for two weeks now. First day (Monday of 1/29) he called in it was for headache, nausea, fluid in his ears, and symptoms that seemed like vertigo. Things still persisted for a few days, so we recommended that he goes to a doctor. He goes to urgent care on 1/30 (I guess?). They tested him for Strep throat twice (once because he was positive but then the second time he wasn't?} He still doesn't show up, saying something about having a fever that's hitting on and off. Says he's going to a doctor again that Saturday. The kicker, from the next report we get, is that the doctor says he has a 'stomach flu', which does not exist. Stomach flu is not a thing and he should know better than to tell people working in a Microbiology lab that that is what he has. Anyways, he says the 'stomach flu' is causing the fluid in his ears and that he is going to a gastro doctor for that.
Let that sink in for a bit. His ears are fucked up, so he's going to a stomach doctor.
Anyways, on 2/6 he says he's going to Urgent care again. Manager asked for someone to drop off of a doctor's note that says when he should be able to return to work because everyone is having a hard time believing this. The doctor's note his gf dropped off was indeed from 2/6, but was for his appointment on 1/30 that said he could come back on 2/1… Even though he had texted and said he went that Saturday (2/3) and the very day the note was received on.
Another kicker is that a fellow employee who had been gone for a couple days due to her kids being sick saw said 'sick' employee at a local grocery store, contacted my manager asking about him, and said that he looked perfectly fine.
Like, we're all wondering what to believe to this point. He came in to talk with the higher ups this past Thursday and they said something was off about him and he broke into tears about going to the ER because he has a fear of needles. If you've been sick for two weeks, surely you'd cave and try and figure out what's wrong with you, yes?
Like, it just puts us in a bind since we're having to modify our schedules to take care of his responsibilities… but at the same time, he was really kind of a shit worker. Our error percentage for the past two weeks he's been out has gone down over 70% since me and my manager took over what he was responsible for.
I'm overly certain I've complained about him in the past being a shit worker in the last vent thread. So I'm in this weird mix of happy that he's gone but kind of like "What if he's really sick?".
No. 228474
>>228472Not to defend the guy in any way and he sounds like a major liar, but
>If you've been sick for two weeks, surely you'd cave and try and figure out what's wrong with you, yes?Not really, I had a boyfriend once who was sick with the worst mono for a month (like, daily fever and throwing up almost everything he ate etc) and he stayed sick for a month because he couldn't deal with the needles for bloodwork. He actually passed out when he finally manage to go get it done. Fear of needles do make people do some really stupid shit.
sage for blogpost
No. 228478
>>228474(same anon who posted this)
Holy hell. I'm sorry that happened you to you, Anon. I'd never wish someone's death to happen on anyone. At one point hen he had said he was fighting diarrhea nd vomiting when the manager called it… background noise suggested he was being driven around somewhere to both her and the person above her. You don't go driving when you're on the verge of that becuase that's asking for disaster
The coworker I'm talking about apparently has a mom that was an addict (ie heroin) in the past so that perhaps has some fear of needles instilled in him. But the current opinion is that he's either suddenly using or 'coming off/detoxing' and doesn't want to admit it because that's against company rules.
Basically, if he doesn't show up this coming Monday, he's going to have to fight for his job in the future. Like I sort of said before, I'd feel a little bit worse if he was a good employee, but he wasn't and I questioned his choice a month into hiring him (which was back in July/August of last year). He is always late and a slow learner/worker with no analytical skills (which you need in a lab environment).
I wish I could judge him on personality, but I never could because he was just such a shit worker. He has been, legitimately, the only male I would call a beta. I don't think I have ever met someone with as weak of a personality as I have until I met him..
No. 228479
>>228371This is gonna sound crazy but. I haven't used a desktop computer for a long time but now need to for work. I get red eyes just from a normal day's work on the screen, so uh what I do now is wear sunglasses when I'm looking at the screen and I don't get red eyes now.
You can get anti-glare glasses/computer glasses too but sunglasses are working fine for now.
No. 228487
File: 1518318680354.jpg (72.99 KB, 720x480, Vomiting-In-Kids.jpg)
A haiku:
3 liters this time
Dietician's tomorrow
Sorry mom and dad
No. 228537
>>228477Hey anon, your post kinda reminded me of myself so you’re definitely not alone. It sounds like you care too much about how people think. It’s frustrating that people don’t understand mental illness, and while we should be working to help them understand more, to some extent they’re always going to have their own ill informed opinions - people are stubborn by nature. The only thing you have complete control of in this situation is how you feel and react, and it’d be really good for you to work on that.
You don’t even have to go to 4chan to find people discrediting the experiences of people who have been through a lot of shit. Nothing is good enough for some people, even being locked up for 20 years and raped every day. Even the people who are supposed to care about you might not be sympathetic. My bf’s family, who say they see me as their own daughter, know that I was abused for years and have their own bad experiences with my parents, are very insensitive about my mental health issues. I just see it as their loss rather than mine
People don’t understand that level of depression doesn’t always translate to functionality either (often it does, but not always). My depressed neighbour never missed a day of work and spent the evenings and weekends playing with his kids. Then one day he went out and killed himself. He was obviously profoundly depressed, but was high functioning. Desperation, needing to function for other people, not wanting things to get worse and gain even more reason to be depressed - just some of many reasons deeply depressed people can still function. But still, few people understand this
If it’s any comfort, people on the low functioning side still get shit and can be seen as lazy/bratty/attention seeking/not trying hard enough/selfish, etc. Being mentally ill sucks for everyone, and the people who are being critical of you would probably still be critical if you were low functioning. The only difference is, maybe they’d do it behind your back
Anyway you’re right, they probably are taking their insecurities out on you. Don’t let them. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. People can be idiots, ignore them
No. 228615
File: 1518372517901.jpg (27.06 KB, 500x527, C9ERGfzW0AAwjLY.jpg)
The girl who used to be my best friend is literally throwing away everything she has and making the ugliest mess out of her life.
She dropped out of college and dumped her amazing boyfriend to go for a sleazy "poly" guy (more like the chief of a harem, but whatev…) because she "didn't deserved someone like him".
She has made a lot of new sex positive friends who encourage her to degrade herself for the sake of "empowerment".
They started a contest which consist in trying to fuck as many people as possible and every time of of them get laid they do a little cross of the wall of their trash infested hoarder tier house.
So she fucked 25 guy in a month, some of them she wasn't even attracted to, she also never came. She let a guy fuck her in the ass even tho she didn't want to and also let him go from anus to vagina without washing his dick… She fucked a guy because she "pitied" him.
One of these guys refused her the access to his shower so she wiped the cum of off her face with toilet paper and took public transportation to go back to her place.
She will jump into any guy's car even if she just met them minutes before, so I expect her to be found dead a ditch sooner or latter.
She claims to be on birth control but refused to answer when I asked her if she made them wear condoms.
She met a beautiful super young guy (16 yrs old) who was homeless because his parents kicked hiss drug addicted ass out of their house, so she let him stay at her place and they apparently have a lot of sex. I can't wait for when she pick up his drug habit.
I cried over how fucked up this is, it seriously hurt me to see someone that I used to love so much handling herself in such a filthy way. I know have no choice but to kick her out of my life, I tried to reason her, convince her to get help and have some respect for herself or at least her body, but her friends made fun of me an tried to humiliate me for being a stuck up cunt and a prude.
Also in my country we greet each other with a kiss on the cheek I can't even do this shit to her anymore cause I feel like pucking, she disgust me.
She also stopped washing regularly.
No. 228616
>>227924When I was about 7-8 my mom paid for some art classes for my birthday. It was on for an hour and 1/2 each week (i think) and there was a 15 minute break or so where we could go out and play.
This one time me and some other girls around my age were playing by climbing up a tree, and we were just standing on one of the branches talking about something when one of the guys who was 11-12 came up to us and said he wanted to climb up as well but we said he couldn't because there wasnt enough space on the branch.. which was true, and we werent just saying that to exclude him or anything like that. But he started getting angry and climbing up anyway and he grabed my leg and started trying to pull me out of the tree to make room for himself. This caused me to start panicking, I grabbed the branch above me, and pull my leg out of his grasp. He was also using his other hand to grab onto the branch and i ended up stepping on his hand causing him to fall onto the concrete below the tree and get a concussion.
He really hated me after that incident. He would literally spit in my food, pour water onto my drawings, and try to trip me and shove me when we were playing tag with the other kids. He would also yell at me saying that he was going to take revenge on me.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and feeling really guilty about it even though it happened 10+ years ago.
No. 228632
>>228537>It sounds like you care too much about how people think.This has been the hardest thing to try to get over. I feel like my whole life is run by others because I've always been this empty shell of a person who lives based on the approval of her peers.
You make many good points though anon and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. While I still definitely have a long dang way to go, your words do instill a bit of hope in me. I really do need to get over caring what others think of me and like you said, ignore them.
No. 228661
>>228650same anon. trying to work at the moment in a customer facing role and i keep getting disciplinaries for poor eye contact and stumbling on my words.
i wish we could be normal and things weren’t so difficult. it would be nice to have help with styling and life skills but am too ashamed of how i am to ask for help.
relate to what you’re saying about embarrassment too.
i’m so sorry you’re struggling. you’re not alone. try to remember you’re as worthy of respect and care as anybody else. keep trying. i’m rooting for you
No. 228685
>>228662I have no idea, she was always a little special because of the way she was raised. She had hippie parents who enforced literally ZERO rules at home. She would regularly go to bed at 3 in the morning in elementary school, or sleep over at my house but never inform her parents and they didn't care, for example.
Until highschool she handled herself quite well, she was a regular student and dated normal guys, she sometimes would party and get really drunk or high but she wouldn't let herself be used and abused by any guy around. I remember once she screamed like a banshee because a dude was trying to get her to have sex with him when she was really intoxicated and weak and we came running to get her out of this situation.
But it all went to shit when she left for college. I just don't know how it really went down since we don't live in the same city and I only meet up with her two of three time a year when we go back home for the holidays. She obviously still love me very much since she always want to hang out with me and spill out her gut, but I can't take anymore of her disgusting stories.
About her boyfriend I guess since he is a quite straight edge, has his shit together and has some plans and direction for his life she thought she couldn't keep up with him or give him what he needed in a woman?
No. 228686
>>228683You need to get out of this situation, he probably will really kill you one day or hurt you REALLY bad.
He is not horrible when he is drunk he is an horrible person period, good person don't behave in such a way when they drink.
If you really have bpd be sure to see someone for it.
Check "why does he do that" you can find the pdf for free online.
No. 228690
File: 1518427851584.png (21.46 KB, 176x232, 1517446708305.png)
It's that time of night again and I'm feeling fucking doomed.
>no friends
>no one who loves me
>no one who genuinely cares about me
>never had a close relationship in my life
>never had an intimate moment with anyone
>rapidly wasting my time preoccupied with people who don't even think about me at all
I feel like my life's just one miserable waste.
No. 228704
>>228493Fuck it man, you can't waste time worrying about that shit. I have been in basically your exact position before. You should remember that mistakes are going to and will always be made, it's life, we think because we turn it into a professional setting we should just stop being flawed?
That said I did eventually change jobs. Jobs with all sort of shit that need tracking might be for some, but certainly not for others. No shame in it though.
No. 228771
File: 1518471774439.jpeg (18.76 KB, 299x450, images (3).jpeg)
>>228718PT is skinny now, you know.
But seriously who cares? PT isn't even ugly tbh. She just can't/won't style herself for shit.
No. 228779
>>228772I wouldn't go as far as say skinny, but she lost a ton of weight and is avarage now.
Where have you been anon? This is literally last year news.
It's on PT
No. 228788
>>228718yeah don't worry about it. prettier version of pt is just regular pretty.
to me, pt is a pretty/striking woman who's features are just strong enough that often they look too harsh and severe. So if you look like a slightly less intense version of PT, you're probably great. muh milimeter of bone
No. 228794
>>228771I argue to this day that PT got into cosplay at the wrong time.
Back then if your cringey cosplay made it to the internet, it was reshared and made into a big deal because there was so little going around.
Nowadays, bad and unflattering cosplays are a dime a dozen. There are women wayyyy fatter and more cringey than PT ever was not getting any shit and are actually encouraged to keep cosplaying. White weebs pretending to be asian are so common too.
I'm glad she lost weight, I just still feel bad that she never got a shot at her dreams.
No. 228796
>>228779I only found lolcow in the last few months.
PT is an average girl who? What does she do?
I checked the catalog and it's just threads on the same 3-4 people, no sign 'o her
No. 228799
File: 1518478935476.png (407.9 KB, 640x422, Fritz_the_cat.png)
It's happening again.
I guess this is really a thing now, huh?
Never in my life would I have guessed things would turn up like this. I had a great day today, nothing went wrong, and yet, just like the last two nights, it is 6pm and the only thing I want to do is eat like a fucking horse and then puke it all up.
Never in my life would I have imagined how addictive this could be. This is nothing like what they told us in health class. Holy shit. This isn't a temptation. This is withdrawal. I'm depressed, I have a massive headache, I'm nervous and anxious and sweating and everything except b/p feels wrong and ugly.
I've made it through so much in my life. I'm one of the most overachieving hardasses I know. I mean I was basically voluntarily starving myself for the last month and a half eh?
But for the first time I feel authentically weak and exhausted. I feel like I can't do this. I'm scared. I want it to be over. I want to cry. I feel so alone. Fuck.
No. 228801
>>228799It’s so stupidly fucking hard to quit. I remember counting how many steps to the toilet and just obsess over puking. It’s been years now and it’s still the first thought when I’m really stressed or sad.
Delay it by ten minutes, then another ten, and so on. That’s like two or three songs or part of an episode of something. Focus like fuck on the song or show or whatever.
Go brush your teeth really well, or start doing something that needs constant attention. Even straight up leave the house if it helps to be somewhere you can’t binge and purge. Tear shit up or get a boxing bag or something to help let out the anger and frustration. Cry it out when you feel like you’re gonna cry.
The more emotional baggage you keep swallowing down the more you’ll wanna puke. If you’re anything like I was you’re binging the food in place of comfort/relief from feeling sad/numb/lonely/angry and puking cause it feels like rejecting the earlier ‘ weakness’ with the emotional vulnerability and food. Idk probably it’s different for you but whatever the act of binging and purging is fulfilling for you, you gotta find it and face it. It’s not fun but it’s doable.
You push to make it longer and longer and the urge does start to ease up.
You got any irl supports anon?
No. 228804
>>228801thanks for the reply, that alone made it better.
currently listening to music and rocking back and forth
once this panic attack settles down i might try some video games.
I met my therapist last week and I go to the dietician tomorrow. I'm more than ready to nip this shit in the bud and move on with my life but it's just hitting me over the head with how shitty it is.
No. 228816
>>228804Glad you’re getting some support anon. It’s crazy hard to do but it gets easier from here. The first two weeks is gonna suck, and you may get beyond obsessive and cranky and fragile. It’s pretty par for the course, there’s likely a lot of hormones out of whack as well as the other more obvious symptoms. Also gas. Oh fuck me the gas.
Throw out the binge foods, get some antacids, take someone along to the grocery store so it’s harder to buy the weird bulimic shopping list items, and anything you can think of that might help you with the stress that’s gonna come up.
If you get nauseated ginger or mint tea helps settle the stomach, if you get constipated, drink water like you’ll never see it again, maybe wear layers cause your temperature might be out of whack.
Sorry for wall o text anon, and I hope I haven’t made this sound horrific. It’s a bitch of a process but it’s still better than the alternative.
No. 228871
>>228869i deleted mine a few months ago and havent noticed. it feels great. and i thought the same thing too about work stuff and facebook. it was a small business so communicating with the customer base was easier but oh well.
people put too much faith in brittle popularity. and facebook is awful.
it takes you through the steps and you have the chance to get all your shit back if you want to reup your account if you miss it though so its worth a trial week if you really feel like you could benefit from some disconnect time
No. 228886
>>228869who gives a fuck. ignore them back. better yet, just prune all your friends or delete your FB and remake a new one just for work purposes.
you think you can't live without even though you hate it - but you will be so much less stressed once you get rid of it. (or only use it for work, no friends.) you won't feel obligated to like or comment on people's shit nor will you feel invalidated when people don't like and comment on yours. take yourself out of the situation and your angst will disperse.
No. 228888
>>228886I agree with this. I used to worry so much about social media. so I said fuck it and got rid of FB messenger and barely update my profile. This has gotten a few people to notice my silence and they reached out to me via email and asked me what's new.
also sometimes people may not talk to you because THEY are expecting YOU to message them so they wait and sit around while you wait and sit around. kek.
No. 228905
File: 1518596418770.jpg (26.82 KB, 442x494, anguish.jpg)
My social skills are abysmal.
>stutter
>can't make eye contact
>always run out of things to say during a conversation which leads to awkward silence
>face gets red & hot, get shaky hands, and sweat when someone talks to me
I don't care about having irl friends. I wish I could stay alone in my room all day.
No. 228908
File: 1518597538126.jpeg (45.43 KB, 720x762, 5B3C6073-B000-43DC-AC34-4AEEC6…)
>finally got weird mole removed
>had to push dr to remove it even though it was reAlly squiggly shaped
.>fast forward and I find out I have stage IV melanoma
>live in Canada and health care is so shitty and slow
>didn’t even suntan but my shitty mom let me burn like crazy all summer long
No. 228911
>>228910>ASD>Social anxietyI guess I was destined to have shitty social skills. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve been hiding away in my room for a while now, which, of course, hasn’t helped. Recently though I was invited by an acquaintance to lunch and I’m shaking just thinking about it and might bail.
I was an extrovert when I was young. I don’t know why this happened.
No. 228923
>>228914Seconding this. Of course, autism can manifest itself in different ways depending on environment, but changing that drastically is odd.
However it's a misconception that all autists are introverted. They might have a harder time relating to people and understanding social cues, but still feel energized by and enjoy being around people. There are lots of extroverted people on the spectrum.
No. 228929
By the end of last year I'd seemed to get my shit together, I had a job, got accepted into uni, was living out of home, started working out every day. and finally had kicked a three year drug habit.
Over the Christmas period the job ended (it was casual work) and I'm back to being unemployed, my landlord kicked us out so he could demolish the house, and I'm back to living with my mother, and instead of a drug habit, with my newfound reliance on working out and body image for maintaining my self esteem, I've developed a severe eating disorder, to the point where I rarely go more than a day at a time being able to keep meals down.
For a few sweet months between October and December I was doing and feeling the best I ever had, now the only thing I have to look forward to is uni starting at the end of February.
I think that part of what makes me so susceptible to vices and addictions and bad habits is a deficit left by lack of meaningful relationships, so I'm holding out hope that I can meet people I really like at uni.
Until that point though, my current social circle are just people I know from high school who I have increasingly less in common with, who I get invited to hang out with when events are planned in the group chat I'm in, but who I never talk to on an individual basis.
There's literally no person in my life that I talk to regularly simply for the sake of talking and enjoying conversation, and it's been this way for years, and I think it's getting close to the point where if this isn't remedied I'll have a breakdown. I'm not so naive to think that I'm some special person who can only get along with a select few out of the billions of people on the planet, but it's very lonely seeing everyone around you make new connections effortlessly when you don't seem to be able to click with anyone.
The last time I spoke to my therapist in December, she warned me about the way I was counting calories and working out compulsively, and I'm not looking forward to disappointing her with the news that I have a full blown ED, but I do need to see her as soon as she gets back from holiday leave. Right now I'm genuinely considering going back to drugs for the dopamine that I seem to be craving enough to purge daily, at least I wouldn't ruin my teeth.
Sorry for the length, it's been three months since my last confession Father.
No. 228935
>>228914>>228923my bf is high functioning and super social and out going. he's got a ton of other quirks that mainly only i know about cause he got trained to socialize well. you wouldn't know what it was unless he told you, but there's a little
something and there's still times where he is clearly missing the point of a lot of things.
i think the best way to tackle it is to not embrace the socially retarded aspect. you can get therapy and it actually helps a bit.
>>228930you missed the unpopular opinions thread.
No. 228943
My male classmates from highschool are starting to hit the wall. I have no social media accounts but one of them managed to dig up my email address from an old contact group and sent me a message the week before Valentine's Day.
>>228908Holy shit anon, that's horrible. It sounds like you have a tough road ahead of you.
No. 228979
>>228978As a former dairy farmer I wanna smack these women too. Our herd was small, 400 fresians. The most abuse our girls got was being called a giant bitch. Their udders are disinfected after each milking to prevent mastitis, which will kill the cow agonisingly.
They were milked twice a day, the cups go on the udder for maybe ten minutes but you walk up and down to check nobody is run dry so that there’s no uneccessary suction.
The cups don’t hurt the tears, calf’s suck much harder, headbutt, and don’t have smooth rubber inserts to prevent chafing.
Calves get to drink the colostrum and aren’t immediately taken away. They got about a week but by that point the girls were kicking at them and a few times babies got killed by mama cow.
Rejected calves are saved and bottle fed rather than being allowed to starve. Boys were sold to studs, girls grew up to become milkers.
Vegans never wanna take into account the fact that most dairy cows produce so much milk that even with a calf feeding, she’s most likely gonna get mastitis. They never mention that it’s pretty common for cows to bring themselves to the milking shed if they are able and not herded at their usual time. They never show you what mastitis does to the udder or what a cow in agony sounds like as you try and disinfect her as gently as you can because she hasn’t been milked in a week, which means it has gone rancid inside her because her calf can’t drink as much as she produces.
A cow isn’t a fucking person though. I’ve been shoulder deep in a cow to to AI and it’s certainly not anything remotely connected to a person being raped. Standing in the milking shed for 30 minutes is not the same as torture or imprisonment.
Taking a calf away from a cow is not the same thing as ripping a child from their mothers arms like we did with the Australian genocide.
Equating an animal that will 100% die without the care of farmers to a human being enduring some of the worst experiences imaginable, some of which are in part so terrible because of humans unique level of introspective awareness, isn’t just insulting it’s so stupid and ignorant of the animals in question it’s kind of amazing that it’s even happened.
No. 228996
>>228979Is there a vegan thread on here or shall I rant here.
What is up with the vegan attitude that vegetarians are worthless? As if you're not living off salad alone you may as well be eating a steak a day. Such a stupid attitude.
Also most vegans have only been vegan for months, a year at most, or are convenience vegans when it suits them, yet can't stop telling everyone what degenerates they are for
not being vegan.
They literally equate vegetarianism as being equal to being a meat-eater which is ridiculous. Anyway, there be the vent, and thanks for that info about farming Anon (fittingly on a cow-themed website)
No. 229038
>>228978>>228979>>228996I am vegan, and a victim of gang rape. I get that the comparison sounds shrill to many and puts a lot of people off veganism (and vegans tbh) but for many vegans they are genuinely imagining how they would feel in that situation… and if dairy farming was happening to a human woman it would be tortuous and traumatic for them. It would be rape, and it would be having your child taken away so you could be worked.
I do however understand that our animals don’t have a conscious brain (with ego and ID) like we do and so they don’t experience it in the same way. But I know they feel emotional connection to their babies and get upset etc, and that’s why I personally don’t partake in animal agriculture (altogether in food and as much as possible elsewhere, I know it’s practically impossible to avoid fully). If someone starts the conversation with me I will always advocate veganism though, in a non-aggressive manner!
/sage for vegantalk
No. 229043
>>229038What gets me with these arguments from vegans is how it’s really ignorant of what’s known about animal psychology.
A cow does not experience emotional trauma when it is being artificially inseminated, because emotional trauma requires a level of self awareness, a concept of boundaries and violation, and the ability to consent which cows are not capable of having.
Cows were scared and hurting when I treated them for bloat (you have to insert a large bore hollow needle into the rumen and allow the gas out) but if we didn’t do this the cow would die. Is that abuse?
Are cows distressed when seperate from their calves? Yes. That distress can be relieved with oats, so is it really comparable to the stolen generation? I’m fairly sure the Aboriginal mothers were not soothed by a tasty snack.
I’ve never come across a vegan with any knowledge about the animals they’re discussing. They just anthropomorphise and reduce the situation to a false dichotomy.
Large scale farming absolutely needs better regulation and methods but as a homesteader and former dairy farmer, the idea that I am raping my cows or giving my chickens ptsd by taking their eggs is the sort of crazy I’d expect from a man on the street with three socks and no shoes shouting that Fidel Castro speaks through the radio in his teeth. As a majority, vegans need a lot more education and a lot less projecting their own emotions onto creatures biologically incapable of thoughts complex enough to recognise their own reflection.
No. 229049
>>229043>>229044If you guys don't mind why don't we take this to the vegan thread?
I'd love to discuss the subject (I'm vegan, and I've never talked to an actual (well, former) dairy farmer)
I've posted a response to
>>229043 here
>>229048 if you'd like to reply
No. 229052
>>229043That's exactly it. The projecting is insane. Animals are intelligent, emotional creatures but their values are different from humans because they are not humans. Projecting human values is??
Animals need: Safety, security, food, water, warmth/heat, light, freedom, like every other living creature.
The meat industry is horrific, dairy industry less so as it doesn't involve
murder, egg industry needlessly kills male chicks which can be prevented (can't remember how but it was something to do with temperature/checking eggs before incubation)
Both
can be done less cruelly. It is impossible to kill less cruelly. Focusing on demonizing milk and eggs is just fucking dumb if you're a vegan.
No. 229060
>>228996I am sooo annoyed by that too! Obviously not every vegan is a piece of shit I have friends who are vegan but totally ok with me being vegetarian. They advocate me sometimes but it's not the forceful way and they totally accept that at least right now I don't want to go vegan.
But I have also met so many vegans who will just look at you like you are garbage. Whenever I argue with some of them I try to be open minded while they treat my arguments as meat propaganda and it's not true. I told someone once that Peta is garbage and waaay to extreme. They posted name and address and a picture of someone who porched an elephant. Yeah that's not cool but slandering their fucking name online ? That guy got death threats after this and lost his job!
Anyways that chick was just like " yeah I doubt they would post this' ???
No. 229079
>>229060Yes totally agree. I've been blocked by a vegan for politely stating that there are other ways to become vegan/vegetarian without watching disturbing peta-tier propaganda videos. I became vegetarian at aged 8 because I love animals and killing them is wrong. I didn't watch any vegan propaganda. As you can see in the vegan thread they are
still arguing about milk and eggs which is besides the point.
All these political movements are akin to cults with people just repeating the same thing over and over.
Also it's funny how
frickin nobody was vegan prior like 2013 but now it's easy, there are vegan cafes/restaurants /food brands, everything is labelled and it's trendy, NOW they are vegan because of their stupendous morals and not because they're trend-hopping saps
Btw I was a vegan for a year or so as a kid and it's frickin difficult and I felt weak. Not everyone can eat limited diets and be healthy. They used to tell vegetarians we'd "waste away" and we were "weird" but now apparently being vegan is the healthiest! Possible! Thing!
Cut forward ten years it will all have switched around again
No. 229098
>>229086As a non american it baffle me that the leading nation on earth (at the moment) is such a hot mess regarding health care and gun controls. I would shit my pants if my fellow citizen had access to guns.
I'm sorry but those things are designed to kill a lot of people super easily an quickly and they're not supposed to be in the hand of 99% of people who are just to retarded to handle something like that.
FFS just seing the military patrolling in my city with heavy weapons make my skin crawls.
No. 229110
>>228244>>228254Thank you for replying, yes he is trash. I still miss him but I'm feeling a lot better now and I realized that I had some thinking to do in my life. I mean, I allowed him to treat me like shit and I felt bad he left.
>>228275I feel sorry for his wife, she is a christian and he took her virginity, he cheats on her and she stays with him and then posts pictures of them together on facebook to feel a little better. He lost his job on October last year and has not tried to get one, she pays for everything on their place. I do feel used but at least he did not fuck me.
>>228316Yes it is hard, I know it sounds silly but because of this I found Buddhism, I'm becoming a vegetarian, I'm using a bike to go to my work, I'm starting to meditate and will try psilocybins for the first time in this month.
No. 229195
>>229079Yeah veganism definitely became more accessible in the past few years.
I remember telling my parents I wanted to become vegan for health reasons because I was really fat, and they threatened to take me to the doctor and other professionals because they thought I was trying to "starve" myself. This was back in 2007/08ish iirc.
To an extent, they were right. There weren't very many protein substitutes outside of block tofu and beans at the time (rural US). There was barely a frozen selection (Morningstar or Boca) and I remember those old versions of products tasting gross, and were expensive. The only kind of milk substitute in my grocery store was sweetened soy milk. Forget cashew, almond, coconut, or any kind of unsweetened milk substitute. And I wasn't exactly educated on what vitamin supplements I needed to take to keep myself on such a diet.
Nowadays this isn't really an issue, but people still should do their homework.
There's this weird cognitive dissonance among hardcore vegans since they want to convince meat-eaters the transition is easy and worthwhile but on the other hand want people to know that their kind of diet and lifestyle does require extra effort.
>>229086Gun nuts argue that it's a slippery slope.
Any legislation we create to limit gun accessibility or enforce regulation might as well be the same step forward for government to confiscate all their guns. No exceptions.
Same types of people who argue that keeping abortions legal is a slippery slope towards legalizing actual murder.
I hate these arguments so much. We have such a romanticized culture about guns I'm not sure anything substantial will ever get done. If Sandy Hook didn't change legislator's minds, I'm afraid nothing will.
If only these shooters would stop going after children and normie nobodies, and aim for higher targets like politicians and the financial elite. Maybe then some shit would turn sideways.
No. 229347
>>229345Idk, anon, I don't think going crazy about your fiance following somebody on facebook is the best option, especially if you could potentially be wrong about it. It just makes you look really possessive and paranoid, which is not good for anybody.
I understand your fear tho, and I would say just to pay attention to what he says/does to this mystery girl and if he un-follows her after finding out she wasn't who he thought she was. Like you said, this hasn't happened but once before, so it's not like it's a trend.
Just remember there's a big diff between casually following some chick and actually doing something with them, and automatically making your fiance out to be a criminal is a bad sign (either for your relationship or your mentality towards him).
No. 229348
>>229244Don't do it Anon. There's always options.
I've actually cried (silently, lol) on the train, for no reason! During a mega-bad hormonal phase caused by hormonal contraception.
Your future has endless possibility. Everyone is born flawed (I can reel off a few disorders and errors I have even though I look totally healthy) but our flaws make us who we are.
No. 229351
>>229345Just tell him it's making you suspicious/paranoid and ask him to remove her.
I had my bf do this with random thots he went to college with on snapchat if I hadn't met or heard of them before. Having some chick he doesn't really know on Facebook isn't adding much to his life. And it's not going to take away much if he removes her.
If he throws a fit about, then she's probably not just some random chick to him.
No. 229366
>>229345Sounds like 100% bullshit. If all his work friends added this girl wouldn't he have just followed her from them? Are their names even the same? Did his work buddies actually add the correct girl?
It's a pretty flimsy excuse you can easily dismantle ( or confirm.)
No. 229367
>>229195>sandy hookyep. the fact that absolutely NOTHING happened after little kindergarteners were gunned down made me lose faith in America completely.
I'm happy I moved abroad so it's not ~my country~ anymore but it's still heartbreaking to see this shit happen.
No. 229372
File: 1518849502594.jpg (142.44 KB, 1200x673, 1518118158700.jpg)
So my bf did something really sweet for Valentine's Day. He got me a box of chocolates and an ivy plant as opposed to cut flowers since they make me depressed when they wither.
Then he said he had another gift coming in the mail.
???
Well, he can't ever keep a secret and he blurted that he got us both a genetic testing kit that was on sale. Fortunately it wasn't the ones that aren't very good at keeping your genetic info private. It means a lot to both of us. He knew I'd been researching different kits for the past year.
It was a Helix product he bought off NatGeo. Sucky thing about that product is that it can't be transferred between other websites. It doesn't do specific ancestry tracking. It's some primitive results and it has flakey reviews.
I didn't mean to make bf feel bad, but I let him know what the issues were with these kits (as in, not much bang for his buck). We tried called their customer service 2 hours later to see if we could be refunded or upgrade to the transferable product. The agent on the phone said no refunds and we couldn't pay up to the better product.
On their shitty website it says we can be refunded once we receive the product, and be deducted $25/ea from what he paid for the shipping and handling.
Bf doesn't seem bothered by it, I just feel bad because I didn't mean to put down his gift. I just think these businesses get awful shady with their bullshit.
No. 229375
File: 1518854706622.jpeg (29.45 KB, 700x525, 78CBDD1B-BA3F-48BA-9852-09F8E2…)
>tfw sick for the past two days from food poisoning so literally spent it puking and sleeping
>sleep schedule fucked
>can’t sleep also because trying to figure out work/money stuff for this summer because no $$$ if im not in school
>goofed off so on academic probation so can’t take summer classes/have to wait until fall semester for more dollary doos
>just sleep
>SLEEP
>why are you like this
No. 229434
>>229415ok no please stop right here:
>I'm so scared of failing, of everything amounting to nothing.this is what made me drop out of university which has set me back significantly. i was an anxious mess that couldn't handle a small failure without thinking my whole life was a failure.
it is one exam. if you fail that exam, work hard to pass the next one. if you fail the next one, negotiate with your professor on how you can improve. if you fail that class. take it again, you'll definitely do better next time. if you fail again, then you will figure something else out.
but please do not conflate failing one test with failing at all of life. that's way too much stress. you are in for an extremely miserable few years if you think that way. so i would suggest you learn how to stop doing that now.
even if you did end up dropping out, it wouldn't make you an unemployable mess. you would still figure something out lol. i'm making more right now than some people i know who DID get their degrees.
the difficult part for me is that i want to finish my degree so i can explore other job opportunities, and i have to do that by taking courses at night after 8-9 hour workdays. but i'm actually performing way better in school because i'm less stressed.
anyway the point is, you'll be fine! take a deep breath.
No. 229445
>>229434Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate it.
It's crazy how much you hit the nail on the head (especially with the anxiety aspect).
I'm also glad to hear that everything seemed to work out for you in the end. I think it's good to hear that there are always plan b,c,etc.
I think after exam phase I might sign up for one of those "study classes"? Our college offers a couple on different topics (such as exam panic(prüfungsangst?)), maybe that would help me in developing a different outlook on all this…
And thanks again for your response, I really needed to get this off my chest, thank you <3
No. 229446
>>229377Is there someone who you can ask advice for? I was in a similar situation two years ago, had to do a final grade project and I had NO idea about what I should use as a topic…I finally talked with my tutor and I was honest about it, he proposed some good ideas and I started from there.
I understand that it's extra hard because it's the end of it and you want to finish well, but don't put too much pressure on you because anxiety probably will stop all your good ideas or ''creativity''.
Good luck. <3<3
No. 229504
File: 1518915007190.jpg (54.17 KB, 549x525, DUsDw6sW0AAsKFX.jpg)
ohh boy i have to vent something. i originally was going to post in a thread about embarrasing stories but i think its too pathetic
>was sexually abused when i was a kid. bc of this i had a lot of trouble making friends.
>for like 5or6 years straight there was a group of girls who always made fun of me for being ugly & weird & having no friends. they never stopped.
>i wont say the name of the site but there was a similar site of myspace that we used where they all posted selfies there and shit.
>…so, i would save the pictures they posted + read every single thing they posted.
>and i would go on paint and crop all the pictures of them and put them next to pictures of me.
>but they weren't my friends, they were literally the people who bullied me lmao…
>and i would make "edits" with them and write down shit like "me and my best friends :) picture i cropped in paint of my five bullies hanging out pasted next to a cropped picture of myself.
like… that's sad as shit. i remember my abuser(he lived with me) once saw me and was like
>anon what are you doing? [some variation of this] why are you pasting yourself there, they're not your fucking friends ahhahah
that shit happened in 2009. its 2018. i had a flashback of it today because i found that old website. i found their old handles and…
>they would take pictures of me (without me knowing) and edit them to mock me and then say mean shit about me in the comments too.
>genuenly didn't remember any of that, i don't know if i blocked it out or what.
>but like, they didn't just bully me IRL they apperantly did in social media too lmao.
>lowkey these stories parallel each other and neither of us had any idea what the other was doing uh
anyways them destroying my self esteem when i was a kid + getting bullied again by other people later in life + living with a violent asshole + the sexual abuse that destroyed my social skills to begin with = i don't have any friends. i haven't had any friends in the last seven years. i can't make em. i dont have any social skills.
basically seeing those pictures today made me realize i was alone 10 years ago, and i'm probably going to be alone for the rest of my life! nice stuff! totally not having a mental breakdown or anything lol
No. 229508
My bestfriend wants to go to a music festival and I couldn't care less tbh. I recently got a job and I don't want to spend my money in some concert when I only know 3 or 4 artists, just because she doesn't have no one to go with.
The problem is that she always acts passive agressive when I don't do what she wants, like right now she's telling me she don't know almost anyone there and such crap about how ''cheap'' it is. Sure, she can't hang out with me when she's busy and meets up with other friends / she ignores me when I try to talk to her everyday / she puts other people before me always (ie posting photos in their birthdays , I know it sounds petty but with me she can't do the effort) and she expects me to save my money just to go with her because she can't think of anyone else to go with.
For once I was sincere about it, I told her exactly what I thought and her response is she making me feel horrible about it. For years she pressured me to get a job because -according to her- I wasn't doing anything with my life and once I'd get money I could spend it in anything I wanted, and now she shames me because I don't want to go.
Ffs I'm so mad about it. Two years ago, I travelled to Europe with her just to meet her boyfriend IRL. Last year, I went with her to a concert in another country just because she wanted to go. And now this.
I reckon I was emotional dependable of her for so many years but now I just feel kind of trapped sometimes, trying to change my relationship with her and all I have to see is how bad friend she actually is, after all. Everytime I remember all the shit she have put me throught I wonder why I can only focus on the ''good'' things she did for me, as if my mind doesn't want to admit that she means so much more for me than I do to her.
Cutting her off of my life would mean losing all my friends because they were her friends so many years before than mine, so…If it was for me, I'd disappear, I'd delete her from everything, I wouldn't have to deal with any more ilogical drama. We're almost adults and I still feel the same way I did when I was 17 and scared of being left alone, just because that's what she did to me: I was always having to ask myself what I did that time or another for her to be mad at me.
I know she talked shit about me, she shamed me for things she did so much time after, recently I discovered she tried to put some of my friends against me when we were having some troubles between us.
Just a few days ago, one of my closest friends - who kind of lost contact with her - told me that years ago she talked so bad about me…And my friend knew it was just pure jealousy. It sounds silly now, but hearing it from another person that wasn't me and my mind made me feel so…Good. Like, I wasn't crazy. I am not crazy. I'm sure she's jealous of me, of my relationship, of my friendship with her friends. Knowing that people could see it, even if they didn't say anything to me or her, makes me feel ashamed and relieved at the same time.
And here I am, crying because she didn't get the answer she wanted and all I get from her now is ''ok'', ''sure''.
No. 229580
>>229502well for one, weed is like the most overrated drug of all time behind cocaine. so don't worry, you're not missing much. try it out when you're independent with some friends to see how you like it. still, it's nothing to be that bummed about trust me. if weed is good for anything, it's the social aspect. and maybe for "medicinal" reasons if it helps you- which it doesn't work that way for everyone.
second of all, your mother's love for your brother is going to change when he's old enough and gets married or in a serious relationship. i watch it happen all the time. they end up feeling deserted. if you want to get a special preference from her be patient, it will come. lol. trust me.
No. 229589
>>229504I feel you, anon, I'm fucked up when it comes to friends now, too. I used to have a lot of them when I was a little kid, but when middle school hit, everyone went to another district and my mom started getting extremely abusive, and now I just hate the thought of being social or being with other people. It's so hard to see other people have huge groups of friends when you've been fucked out of the opportunity, it feels like I'll never have friends ever again.
Not to mention the last friend I had basically was just manipulating me all the time, doing petty shit like critique my artwork and brag about her opportunities in the college community, but if I ever asked her how to do it or critiqued her back she would tell me to fuck off. I felt like if I said one wrong thing she would kill me, and she literally punched me a few times to the point where I had to pretend it wasn't a big deal and hide tears. It got to the point where I was ready to commit suicide, and told her in graphic detail I would (which was shitty, I know), and what did she do? Fucking
nothing, didn't call the cops, didn't tell somebody, she didn't even tell me
not to goddamn do it! She was just like, ok, whatever, go to bed. (She's also one of those edgy artists who writes all day about little kids being sexually/physically abused, but, y'know, when it actually happens, just pretend it's not a big deal!)
And the sad fucking part is that I loved the shit out of her, I did everything I could for her and I couldn't let her go, and stayed with her for another year after the suicide thing. It's a sad fucking life when you're so convinced you'll be a friendless loser all your life that you idolize somebody who would probably watch you hang yourself right in front of them and not give a single shit. I spent all day crying today thinking about it, since my last long-distance friend stopped talking to me all of a sudden and now I'm totally alone.
Hope you can find a way out of this bullshit once and for all, cuz it's not a fun life.
No. 229637
Growing up I was a rather shy kid and the older I got, the less friends I had. I wouldn’t say I was bullied, but there were some boys who treated me shitty. I went through three different groups of friends in high school, some left school, some no longer liked me, but even the ones I called my friends never treated me very nicely.
The biggest problem was that because throughout all my life people told me “You’re so tall and thin, you’re going to be a model!” I really started to want to be one, so I starved myself. I got very skinny, but couldn’t keep it up and at nearly 16 gained the weight back.
That made me feel even uglier and disgusting than before. I always wore the same pullover, would slouch to make myself appear shorter and slimmer and I was the only girl not participating at prom because I was sure that any boy touching my ‘fat’ waist would be instantly disgusted.
Towards the end of my high school time I got together with some nicer girls, I also stopped trying as many crazy weight loss methods like before and when I graduated I felt rather happy and hopeful about what the future holds.
During that time, I started becoming obsessed with the idea of being in a band therefore didn’t really think about what to study.
My parents then forced me to get into law, which caused me to feel so depressed that I thought about suicide. They then said that if I really hate it that much and can’t see myself in that field I’m allowed to quit after a year. Since I knew that I absolutely don’t want to keep doing that, I would have been able to use that free year to better myself, lose weight in a healthy way etc. But instead I sort of became obsessed with constantly cleaning up my room. I always told myself, that after cleaning everything up, I will start over and no longer feel sad. I also started sleeping less and less, neglecting my hygiene etc.
After that year passed I tried applying for architecture, but I wasn’t good enough, so at the end I went into teaching. At the beginning I was very motivated and tried my best to wear makeup, be friendly and try and chat up some people to make friends, but somehow It didn’t work. My tall height and resting bitch face makes me not very approachable and if I’m the one doing the approaching I never know how to keep a conversation going. All the other girls around me started forming groups until I was the only one left. This over two years ago. Because I’m always feeling lonely I eat to comfort myself and now I even fall in the overweight BMI category. My grades aren’t very good, since I nearly don’t study at all. A few weeks ago, my anxiety got so bad that I could no longer go outside at all and everything I do all day long is browse the internet. I eat min one bag of chips a day, I go to bed super late, I don’t wash my hair, wear the same stuff for weeks, barely brush my teeth and nearly no longer meet up with my old friends at all.
Two weeks ago, I finished my exams and told myself that now I’m really going to try my best to keep my room and myself clean and do some sports, but I simply can’t. I do have a paper to write and upcoming exams again, but zero motivation. I’m so scared of the future, I still live at home, so no matter how lonely I’m now, at least I’ve still got my family, but later…?
Sometimes feeling so sad, makes me be not very nice to my family or in general, but I usually try to keep up a happy façade in front of them since they wouldn’t understand how bad I really feel (they also didn’t really care when I didn’t eat and got so thin).
I really need to change my life, I can’t go on like this, but I simply don’t know how… I don’t even care that my grades aren’t good or that I’ll probably never get a boyfriend, all I want is to be a normal, semi-pretty girl, with friends to hang out with.
No. 229643
File: 1518960167809.jpg (52.38 KB, 526x326, 1517001572537.jpg)
So, at a party last night one of my friends took a bit too many pills and drinks, and ended up getting in a fight. Now our mutual friends (lets call them group A) don't want anything to do with him, but I do NOT want to give up on him too, just because he was an asshole once while shitfaced, cause i know he's going through some personal shit and he really is a good friend to me. They also think he lacks a moral compass because he likes to experiment with drugs which i think is total bullshit and just shows how brainwashed they've been by the media and the government but that's another issue.
So im kind of in a conundrum. Do i just live a "double life" and see my one friend some days and see group A other days and not tell either about it? Do you think group A will "disown" me too if they find out im not leaving my friend on his own? This sounds so stupid when im typing it out but it feels like a huge rock on my chest.
No. 229680
>>229643I'm sorry that you feel bad about this, I had to life something similar and it actually sucked because I felt trapped between people who meant a lot to me.
If you want to keep meeting up with your friend, do it, even if your other friends won't. I understand why you're afraid they'll feel ''betrayed'' but you can't lose a friend who you care about just because they don't like him anymore. Just ask yourself: if you'd only meet group A, would you feel good about your other friend?
If things get bad and they give you shit for this, just try to explain them how you're feeling and why you don't think he's like they think he is at all. I'd suggest you to do it in the best way possible, being all assertive and not being afraid of their reactions: if they want to get mad at you for this, they'll be mad anyways, so the best thing you can do is be honest about it.
I hope everything goes fine for you!
No. 229691
>>229643>person makes an idiot out of themselves once while wasted >friends bailUnless he does this all the time they sound like shit friends. Maybe they never liked him because of his drug use, and they used this incident as their last straw, so to speak.
If you think he's a worthwhile friend just see him on your own time. Aren't you paranoid they'll do this to you if they find you guilty of doing something they don't agree with?
No. 229725
File: 1518992234721.jpg (21.76 KB, 401x401, 1516506830858.jpg)
I fucking hate our healthcare system and how fucking garbage it is and how the government does literally nothing to improve it.
I have basically an unusable leg because i might, and i repeat, might, have my meniscus damaged. Why only might? because my doctor cannot diagnose me and doesn't even know what it might be and "can only guess", and has to send me to an specialist, which in September of this past year gave me a very urgent visit for the end of fucking June (at best), i had this damage and pain since February of last year, so not even a whole year of crippling pain is enough to give me a visit for less than a fucking month.
And if i have to go to a specialist by my own pocket i would need to sell the leg i have broken to be able to pay them to maybe not even get a solution in multiple visits. It's also depressing having such a supposedly "good healthcare system" that most people have to go private because of year-long wait lists and cannot even take advantage of "free" health.
Guess that for my country it's people being sick and having a chaotic healthcare system is less important than spending money for their political feefees and civil catfights.
Fucking assholes.
>pic related me whenever i have any kind of illness and cannot even consider going to the doctor because the waitlist lasts until basically i fought whatever illness with over the counter shit and homemade remedies hoping it doesn't get worse
No. 229736
File: 1518994888533.jpg (24.02 KB, 599x255, 1475647281731.jpg)
A customer at work aksed me why I was working even though I'm too young to be allowed to because she thought I was a minor some days ago. Way too many people think I'm at most 14/15yo and treat me like I'm immature, incompetent or just a stupid brat even though I'm nearly 24yo. And they use the wrong pronouns with me in my first language no matter the situation ("tu" is a familiar way of saying "you" in French, I expect customers to call me "vous"since it's polite/more formal), and only with me, not with my friends, coworkers and siblings who are younger than me. It's all because of pituitary dwarfism that fucked up my growth even though my growth hormone injections worked just fine when I was a kid.
It's definitely not the first time it happened, but it pissed me off so much, I can't stop thinking about how people see me because of my looks. That's not even something I can influence so it's even more frustrating. I feel like nobody reallh takes me seriously because I look like I'm still in middle school. My mother treat me more like a child than my littler sisters, and one of them is 14yo). I feel like I'll never be attractive to anyone because of this, so I'll probably never have a boyfriend. It's hard to be taken seriously by potential employers too despite the fact that I'm about to graduate. I'm trying to think about how it could have been worse if I didn't take daily injections for years or if they didn't work but it's not making me feel any better anymore.
I wish I knew someone irl with my condition who I could relate to. It's making me feel like shit and I have nobody to talk to about it because I always get the "it's not bad, you won't have too many wrinkles when you'll be older" comments.
No. 229779
File: 1519009249295.gif (40.3 KB, 240x240, MPA_Kevin_McAllister.gif)
>at work
>"Thank you for calling company name, how can I assist?"
>customer says how she had a family member who died and if we have bereavement rates for travel
>this info is available on our website and most other travel companies
>little to no travel companies offer bereavement rates
>and these calls are usually the customers wanting to cry their way or bully us into giving them a lower price, which we can't give anyway
>"I'm sorry you're going through that ma'am. I apologize but we don't offer bereavement rates. Our lowest rates you can book are available on our website."
>"…That makes NO sense! Why did you say that?!"
>"That our lowest rates are on our website..?"
>"YEAH THAT! I can't believe you. Why would I be calling you about booking lowest rates when I am on the website?! I axed you about BEHREAVEMENT because your lowest rate on your website is $606 DOLLARS!!! I'm trying to go to a funeral!!!! So don't say that. You shouldn't be saying that to people!
>"…Noted. Bye ma'am."
>mfw how to make me not feel sorry for you from 0 to 100
No. 229821
File: 1519022692574.png (88.21 KB, 200x200, 1503866911536.png)
I've just about had it with grad school. I know I'm almost done but I feel like the closer to the end I am, the worse it gets.
Just recently I was finally offered an internship at one of the companies Ive been wanting to work at for a while now. It's an amazing opportunity and was so giddy when I got the offer. So we picked an on boarding date and I chose it on a weekday, which means I would have to miss a class session. I already missed one because I wasn't feeling well, but I thought it wouldn't be a problem and the professor would understand since it's a professional development thing. I emailed them, apologized for the inconvenience, and thanked them for reading. They replied back to me that "an internship never comes before classes" and that I need to cancel my orientation date.
I fucking lost it: I was sobbing all night with a friend of mine on the phone asking what I should do because I'm screwed either way. I'm scared if I ask to reschedule, the hiring manager will basically say "well seems like this won't work out if you can't commit to a date: we're gonna go with someone else". I'm also scared if I go against my prof, they will fail me. Profs in my program hold the right to fail you as they please depending on how many sessions you miss (I almost failed a class last year for not showing up to two of the eight sessions despite being on top of my work and all). Also, this prof is the director of the entire program at my university, so their jurisdiction trumps anyone else's. I've already put in my two week's notice for my on-campus position to pursue this internship after consolidating a start date aka my orientation date. So now I'm out a week of pay, and currently unsure whether they're even going to keep me at this point.
Yet I'm the one being micromanaged all the fucking time: from my schoolwork to personal things at home that doesn't concern them. All I ever do now is come to my apartment and remain a goddamn mute for the rest of the day. I internalize all this shit and just become riddled with anxiety attacks and meltdowns. The only reason I miss class is because sometimes I can't keep up with the work and I breakdown from it. I feel like a fucking failure no matter what and it's killing me. I just want to die at the most minor inconvenience nowadays because grad school has worn me down for the past year and a half. the end is so close yet at the same time it feels like it'll never come.
This is also the same program where professors told me that I'm "not taking my work seriously" because I was working part time in order to pay rent and utilities, that I'm "unmotivated and lazy" because I pursued a Master's degree instead of a doctorate, and that I should "take out loans" to live on if I have no other means of financing my tuition and housing in any other way. I'm sick and tired of my classmates who come from upperclass households with wealthy families bitching about how tired they are from all their papers when I'm busting my ass daily to make sure I can fucking afford to go to class while doing that coursework and them getting fucking rewarded for doing the bare minimum. Yet at the end of the day, they get all the opportunities, the awards, the accolades, because mommy and daddy paid for their nominations and their fucking trips to all these goddamn conferences at fucking Disney World of all places.
I'm so fucking mad that me going to an orientation for an important internship that could possibly evolve into a full-time job is not justification for me to miss a day of class. In the meantime, seven of my classmates from the same class can all miss class to go to some conference across the country to present one poster, because apparently you need seven fucking people to present one poster. I don't understand how these students can go vacation all weekend long under the guise of "presenting" and that's acceptable because it's a "career growth" opportunity for them, but my internship (which is in the same exact field as my degree) is just a nuisance to my professors. I'm just dreading coming into class and knowing that the professor is going to say something to me about this.
No. 229859
File: 1519044646607.gif (956.8 KB, 500x418, VsxiwWO.gif)
>>229840>>229832>>229828I'm from Spain, which according to a lot of places has one of the best healthcare systems (lmao). Let's see:
>had to wait 1 year to get wisdom tooth taken out>over 1 year to check out an injury>someone from my family had to wait 10 months to be called to do a test to confirm weather or not they have something potentially mortal (wew lad)>had an eye infection that by time time i was able to get a visit to the GP was already basically cured by home remedies and shit (over 1 month)>had to pay 300~euros to get a very urgent test done for a very serious illness because the hospital told me it could take 1 to 2 years to do it+ wait time to get a visit to the doctor that had to check me out (another 5 months minimum)>minimum wait time for local GP is 1 to 2 weeks (if you are lucky)>etcI love having
one of the best healthcare systems in the world with amazing support from the governmentK
E
K
No. 229899
>>229897bless your sweet heart anon.
don't feel too bad about the chickens, it's distressing i'm sure, but it was an accident. just monitor the dog to see if he's acting more aggressive, he/she was most likely acting like a dog.
if work ever brings up the card incident, just tell them the story and pay on the spot if you have to. it'll be ok
No. 229900
>>229897Sounds like your neighbours are taking advantage of the fact that you're young (?) to bully / trick you into believing you/your dog have any responsibility here. They neglected to secure their chickens -
which is typical, btw: e.g. in my street last week these people put chickens in the front with just cloth mesh. Oh well not my business - a few days later chickens gone of course. People get trendy chickens and they are too stupid to read into what's required to secure them.
They themselves - yeah if I was them and angry I'd be a shithead and throw blame around to see if sticks anywhere (i.e. someone like you doesn't stick up for themselves). Then I'd convince myself - since you accepted some blame that it must have really been your fault and not mine.
You don't owe them even politeness here, their stupidity has fucked up your week - however the problem is they might still be your neighbours for ages and you don't want a vendetta. Be nice to them but don't feel bad for one second that your dog naturally ate their silly self-serving meat treats
No. 229901
>>229897Don't be too hard on yourself. It's definitely not your fault about the chickens. You let your dog out into your own property as usual - why would anyone think to check outside for runaway chickens? Your grandparent is right, it's your neighbors' responsibility for their pets and they should have made sure that their property was secured. And your dog was just being a dog, it's in their instinct to hunt. My outdoor cat has killed/attempted to kill cute baby rabbits before; it's sad, but that's just his nature.
I wouldn't worry too much about the card situation. You're not a bad person for doing one silly thing, we've all been there before. The fact that you feel so much guilt and remorse over this whole situation shows that you're not a bad person at all.
No. 229918
I’ve been feeling this for awhile but I think I officially outgrew my “best friend” of 15 years.
We became friends when we were 11/12 and we didn’t have a lot in common but we had enough to maintain a friendship. She was kinda weird and being a bitchy middle schooler, I made fun of her for it but typical middle school stuff you know.
Around the same time, I developed very severe social anxiety and it was very hard to me to talk to people and make new friends. So I hung around her throughout the rest of middle school and high school because I figured it was better than having no friends at all. During the time, she becomes a weeb. It was annoying as hell but I chalked it up to typical teenage nonsense. I never really cared for anime so I found I even harder for me to relate to her though.
The summer right after we graduated from high school, she moved into my house with my family because my parents felt as for her because of her shitty homelife (mom was a drug addict and gave more of a shit about relationship drama and partying than her kids). At the time. I thought we were helping her and despite her shitty upbringing, she was gonna go to college and become a productive member of society. How wrong was I.
Flash forward to several years and little has changed with her. Still a huge weeb, koreaboo, and tumblrina. Still lives with my parents (I do too but only because I’m finishing up my degree. Once I do that, I’m out of there). Also she’s a total fakeboi. She once claimed that when I have kids, she’s making them call her tio (she’s Mexican) because it’s “gender neutral.” Fuck no. I’m not letting my kids enable your gender bullshit phase.
Basically, she’s the living embodiment of everything we make fun of here. I put up for her for years but the straw that broke the camel’s back was when we went to Disneyland this weekend. She was super cringy, randomly shouting things, reading fanfic while we were waiting in line for rides and telling me about it (yes some of it was smut). We also saw Black Panther while we were there and would say “yas” every time something cool happend and went on and on how important it was for black representation (even though she’s not black herself).
She was also super condescending throughout the trip too. Granted, she’s always been a bit of a know-it all but it’s gotten really bad. Her sister is pregnant and she was talking about it while we were in line. I didn’t fully hear what she said so I responded with “what?” And then she started explaining the concept of baby shower registries like I never heard of it before. Even though my cousin is also pregnant and had a baby shower registry herself. Basically whenever I asked a question on the trip (even if It was a joking question) she would give her own answer and act like she was the authority on it even though it was clear she’s didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about. Another thing she did at Disney was virtually talk shit about all the conventionally pretty girls there.
I feel bad because she’s not a terrible person but I’m starting to realize that I can handle her in very small doses. I’ve also been resenting her for years because I feel like she takes advantage of my family at times (Granted, I don’t think it’s her intention but still). It’s just hard to be around her because we have literally nothing in common anymore and I feel like she’s always gonna be in my life because my family is too attached to her. I’ve fucked up in the past but I’m starting to realize that I’m turning 30 soon and I need to get my shit together and be a functional adult and she’s like my age and still acts like a teenager.
No. 229925
>>229918>friend has been living in your house for several years>"I feel like she's taking advantage of my family."When is your family going to grow a backbone? Do they feel the same as you?
When are you going to tell her that some of her habits are annoying to you?
When is anyone going to point out that she needs to start developing herself as an adult?
I see that she must be a very immature person, but I don't get the impression in your post that anyone has ever laid a foot down and set boundaries and goals for her. I mean what are you expecting to happen, maturity doesn't self-manifest for a lot of people. It needs to be taught, sometimes with much chagrin.
No. 229942
>>229899thank you so much for your kind response anon, it was really comforting to read. will keep an eye on the dog for sure, he seems as dopey as he ever was, so am cautiously optimistic.
and is the card thing honestly not that bad? do you think they will be ok about it?
>>229900thank you for being the voice of reason anon. that sounds about right, if i think about it rationally.
i'm 25 so not really young, but a bit feeble minded (borderline-neet and schizo) - i think they probably could tell that i'm not a very capable person.
will try to grow a backbone, though i am sorry for them.
on a side note, where has the trend for chickens come from? it seems like every middle class family has a brood now and one is always called "henrietta".
>>229901thank you anon, for all your reassurance. very relieved that the consensus is "dogs will be dogs".
and i really appreciate you putting the card thing into perspective + saying i'm not a bad person, i do feel so stupid over it. :-( it's easy to forget that everyone does dumb stuff sometimes though
No. 229960
>>229950You absolutely need to go to a women’s shelter right fucking now anon. None of that is going to get any better sitting there, and I doubt they’re gonna stop trying to take your baby. Take her and get out now before they gaslight you for so long that you flip out and they get you committed and take her from you. Really, your situation sounds just like mine used to be, except I didn’t have a kid, my family just wanted me and my good job/credit to be their sugar momma while they fucked with my head and made me miserable. Please don’t stay there if you have
anywhere else to go.
Man, I’m getting so tired of everyone who comes to lolcow to vent about their shitty families. I wish there was some organization that helped women relocate from situations like this.
No. 229977
>>229960Luckily we are living at my mom and step dads house right now. We live out back in our camper thingy. I fought hard to get us moved there to give myself a leg to stand on, right now it's really a frustrating waiting game for me. I'm waiting on income tax right now he's giving me 1000$ and I'm gonna sneak some as well to throw into a savings account we are opening. He's agreed to put it solely in my name (he doesn't belueve I will ever leave him) and as soon as that money is deposited I plan on kicking him out and moving into the spare bedroom in the main house. I love him to death but sadly when his mom isn't out of jail he becomes this toxic mess. It's sad, he can be a really great guy and fatherly figure towards his younger brother and my nieces and nephews but she has thus hold on him that's sad. His whole family doesn't want him living with her but he's been conditioned since birth that his mother won't survive without him, if he went to school who was gonna watch her back while she stole so she wouldn't get caught? ( she raised him to be a lookout from 7 and up and would constantly take him out of school to go stealing and eventually signed him out when he was only 6 months away from graduating because her boyfriend left her and she needed him to get a full time job and pay bills), if she works who will watch his little brother? Who will pay her bills? Rent? She calls him to guilt trip him all the time.
I'm beyond shocked when he told her he wants to live with me and not her, after being away from her this last jail sit he really dug deep with the rest of his family and came to terms with her not being any sort of mother figure to him and had his whole life turned around and was doing great. But as soon as she got out it's been a slow slip back into his moms claws, progressively getting lazier and lazier because she thinks I should be practically wiping his ass for him, getting nasty with me and comparing me to her, and just becoming more distant. He used up all his minutes on his phone this week having secret calls with her that he doesn't want me to hear. Even right now he's giving me dirty looks and telling me to just keep my mouth shut at our neighbors house because he doesn't like the way I joke. It's just depressing for me to see him throw all of this away for a woman who's going to be locked up again here within a few months as she keeeps stealing. I love him but I've already been firm with him that if he wants to live with his mom he can go but I'm not taking him back. I'm more than betting I'll have to file for a PFA here when I tell him to get out. Last time he broke up with me a few months ago he hooked up to the camper and ripped out of here, just to show up a few days later ready to be together again because he couldn't even stand one day with her. But this time I'll be the one ending things and he can suffer over there with her, if the family she's currently living with for free will take him in as well. I'm just tired of walking on eggshells every moment of the day he's around, feeling depressed, and worrying he's gonna take off at any minute to move home with mommy. It's too much for me anymore.
No. 229978
>>229959Maybe you're not communicating the complaint in a way that makes anons want to empathize, and instead what you've said is flawed which tempts others to point out what is wrong with your story.
My vents tend to go unreplied completely, if you think you're the only one who isn't getting attention.
No. 229982
>>229978I don't know, that might be the case. I mean, English isn't my first language but I don't make huge mistakes that change the meanings of the sentences I type. It only happens when I vent or complain about personal things, so maybe I'm just bad at conveying my feelings, idk.
Sometimes I get only one reply by someone who didn't even read my post correctly or fully, then a bunch of anons correcting the one who replied, but nobody who actually talking about what I say in the first place. It's really weird. I admit that most of the time people ignore my posts completely as well though.
No. 230034
>>230032You know how everyone has that dream of what they will be? Mine was acheiveable for so long and now it’s just gone. I’m mourning the loss of an entire future, the possibilities that I’ve just lost.
Growing up my mother insisted I never ever breed because they might have a PDD-NOS like me and that I’ll be too retarded and crazy to care for myself let alone a baby. (I’m a qualified kinder teacher and youth counsellor for abused kids but yeah awful with them apparently) Met a man and he was the first person to treat me like I’m not just a worthless fuckup and he wanted kids and I had found the person that I wanted to have a family with and I’ve spent an entire 12 months where I am not allowed to grieve or do or say anything that isn’t met with ‘others have it worse get over it just adopt stop whinging’ and have basically had this fester. Turns out that not being allowed to grieve unless it’s a big secret is unhealthy as fuck and I’m just at the end of my rope.
I’m entirely alone with this. I’ve never mentioned it without being told to be positive anyway because it’s too much burden for anyone if I’m sad. The pain doesn’t go anywhere and I’m so tired of living with it I just want out
No. 230038
>>229977We'll looks like he beat me to it. We got home tonight and like my suspicions he left to go to his moms. Said he's gonna sign me over the title of the camper, car, and give me 500$ of his 8,000 income tax when it comes. I'm really proud of myself, I didn't cry or get upset, he cried but it's his own choice and I told him that. I already knew and had just mentioned today that I thought he was gonna dump me and run to his mom with the money to get her a place to live. Not sure how they will get lights since she has his electric bill at over 3,000 and her own is over 12,000 along with water bills being ruined. But that's their bridge to cross. Claims he's gonna move in with his grandparents and just stay with his mom for a night, at the place she's crashing. I'm not dumb though and he knows I set the condition simply, if he ever leaves me and moves home with his mom that's it. No second chances, no more running back home after a week. As soon as I get confirmation his income tax has passed (it's through my phone) and he's living with her, I'll be going down to the courthouse this week and filing for child support. This is probably the best way to end things, he'll most likely end up in jail but that's not my worry anymore.
I must be psychic though for guessing everything correctly this time, or just 5 years of the same old bullshit rings true.
I know no ones replying just feels good to get it out
No. 230075
>>230034>I’ve never mentioned it without being told to be positive anyway because it’s too much burden for anyone if I’m sad. I relate to this a lot. Not because I suffer from infertility issues. Yet this is why I keep a lot of my depressive thoughts and feelings about my eating disorder to myself because it seems people don't want to hear about my doom and gloom. Or they simply don't have the time and energy for it. I've learned how to cope alone but it can really hurt to face lectures instead of understanding from others when you do open up.
I know it was a really big dream of yours, but just because you can't reproduce doesn't mean you're a fuckup or that you can no longer have a purpose.
I can tell we have different values and you're in a completely different headspace, but I just don't see how death would be better or make up for not being able to birth. I just hope you eventually feel better or find someone similar to talk to. Have you tried fertility forums?
No. 230101
>>230098don't worry. you're probably not pregnant, it's actually pretty hard to get knocked up and especially in the way you describe. i used to have loads of bareback sex where he would just pull out at the end and come and never once got preggers.
if it's legal and cheap/free in your country i would say perhaps go on hormonal birth control if it's really important to you that you don't get pregnant, condoms rip and slip all the time and this anxiety isn't helping you any.
don't know where you might be from but if you happen to be irish, there's a lot of support if you come over to the uk for a termination. it happens all the time honestly and it can be surprisingly inexpensive.
No. 230102
>>230101Thanks anon, I really needed that <3
I actually used to be on the pill but it had some weird effects on me (I cried a lot and lost all libido…lol maybe that's how it prevents pregnancy). Someone told me that progesterone-only is better, I wonder if anyone here has experience with switching to that? I'll consider trying that just for my own sanity.
Yeah I am Irish and I'm really grateful for the UK and how they've taken really good care of Irish women with unplanned pregnancies!
No. 230106
>>230102yw anon :) you'll be ok whatever happens just try not to stress! (really do try, cos stress can postpone your period too)
yeah the pill can be really crap, but there might just be one that suits you ok. worth having a look anyway like you say.
also that's kind of you to say. i really hope the law changes for you ladies soon. keep us in the loop, if you don't mind!
No. 230111
>>230102
>I'd have to spend thousands on travel and risk going to jail to terminate. >Yes I'm IrishFlights cost
literally £60 return, where are you getting "thousands" from? A hotel costs £40 a night. £100 total and Britain give out abortions easy. There are other contraceptives except the pill like patches and the coil. Getting yourself so worked up about it isn't going to be good for your health.
No. 230124
>>230106You're the best, anon. Your posts relaxed me a lot. I'll keep you guys updated.
>>230111Yeah I got that wrong, I was going by a story I heard before but in fairness that was probably an unusual case.
No. 230133
>>230126i'm so sorry you feel this way anon. i can empathise.
can you take some time this evening to look after yourself a bit? have a long hot bath and get into some clean pyjamas and have a hot drink? try to watch something you find really funny or familiar and fall asleep to it?
i know it doesn't help much at all in the long term and it can be hard to do stuff like this that feels so trivial when you feel this way, but ime in crisis it helps so much to make an effort to be comfy and try to have a little routine.
you're doing your best anon, we all are. it's ok to be tired sometimes but you have to look after yourself.
No. 230134
File: 1519145262922.jpg (108.67 KB, 450x593, Van_Gogh_-_Trauernder_alter_Ma…)
this is a wild ride with a lot of exposition and required context but i need help
>be me, happy child
>get raped at a sleepover by my friend's older brother
>be me, unhappy child
>keep it a secret
>become distant
>don't let family hug me or kiss me
>family gets mad, thinks i'm being disrespectful
>father begins to beat the shit out of me regularly
>withdraw even further within myself
>keep my secret and take the beatings
>abuse continues well into my mid-teens
fast forward
>be 15
>kind of an outcast at school
>still being beaten
>diagnosed with major depression around this time
>spend a lot of time fucking around online
>no IRL friends, only online acquaintences
>start talking to this man
>we click
>end up talking over skype every day
>like him because he knows more than me, likes a lot of the same things as me, and listens to my problems
>also have major daddy issues because abusive father
>after talking for a couple months straight we have a relationship of sorts
>he's 25 and lives across the country
>fall into a comfortable pattern
>do what i have to do, then come home and talk to him
>watches me go about daily activities like studying and drawing and stuff
>watch movies and play games together
>both confide in each other for everything
>encourages me and gives me advice
>consoles me for hours after each beating
>buys me things i need/want, like school supplies and clothes
>become used to his presence, as if it's an inevitability
>don't think twice about anything because i was so alone before
>pattern continues for 3 years
>sexual stuff happens within this period too (he's come to visit me a few times and he was my first)
>he is my only friend
>don't hang out with anybody or make new connections
>rocky bits along the way
>a constant feeling of belonging to him
>periods of time where he got really jealous/angry/nervous because i was making friends with other people, so i just stopped trying
>still didn't care because the guarantee of having somebody who cares was comfy
>turn 18
>raped again a month after by someone in my neighborhood
>nearly die because the fucker kept bashing my head into things and choking me
>entire perspective changes
>instead of getting sadder and weaker like the first time, i do a complete 180
>feel angrier, tougher, determined, independent
>stand up to parents, no longer beaten
>work and college full-time, get myself out there
>still talking to the man, but feel less connected because i'm not the needy lonely kid i used to be
>be me now, still 18
>realize that a world exists outside of my room and i haven't experienced any of it because i've been holed up for so long
>start to resent the man
>had no friends and no life was because i felt like i owed myself to him
>at a loss because he's been here for me for so long and gave me so much of what i needed
>but at the same time he fucked me when i was 15, treated me like he owned me, and went into a jealous rage a couple of times
>pretty sure he loves me in a fucked up, possessive, needy kind of way–but i feel like i don't need him anymore
and that's where i'm at. i'm not sure if i even have a "right" to be angry, upset, or disillusioned with him because part of the reason this happened is that i didn't let myself think about it. he's the only person who i've felt understood by–but i realize now that anybody can understand me after watching my every move for 3 years. i don't know what to do. i need somebody to tell me to either get the fuck out or consider how much he's done for me. i still have no friends, and even if i did i would never tell them any of this.
No. 230135
File: 1519145769042.png (2.15 MB, 1920x1090, 847292.png)
My grandmother told my sister not to keep walking out of the house in the middle of the night because she goes in the car with random guys, and my sister threw a fit. And then yesterday my sister threw a glass bowl that my grandmother got as a wedding present at my grandmother, which cut her foot and made her bleed.
My sis acts like she did something right by almost killing my grandmom. She didn't. Of course it's no one's business who she dates, but if she needs to sneak out of the house to see him, then there's something wrong, and it's not my grandmother. Sure my gandmother is pushy and overbearing. But the violence wasn't called for, especially when no one hit her or put their hands on her first.
Also, she complains about the house having roaches when the house gets sprayed down every other day.
She talks shit about us to her "friends" and says that she wants to leave when she does nothing but sit in her room all day and watch Youtube videos.
She complains about not finding a job when she quit her teacher job FOUR MONTHS after getting it.
She calls me autistic whenever I do or say something she doesn't like, even when it wasn't directed at her.
She runs into the bathroom everytime I'm in there and yells at me even when I've just gotten into the bathroom.
She wants everyone to do shit for her and get off their asses, but she doesn't do anything for anyone else unless she either benefits from it or is called out on it.
I wish she would leave. I was glad being by myself for while when she was in college.
No. 230138
>>230135The next time she does something like that call the cops on her, give her a little scare as a sign to clam the fuck down. What she's doing is emotionally and physically abusive. She needs to stop that now.
(reposted, I meant SCARE not scar. Don't assault her.)
No. 230140
>>230134i'm so proud of you anon.
you have every right to be seriously mad about everything that happened to you and especially about some predatory man who messed you about about like that. correct me if i'm wrong but i sense that you feel indebted to him - if so i need to tell you emphatically that YOU DO NOT OWE HIM ANYTHING. you latched onto him to survive and that's ok, you were a sad kid going through a lot alone - he was the adult in this situation and he fully took advantage of that fact. even if you were consenting, flirtatious, etc.
even if you hadn't been through what you'd been through, you still wouldn't owe him anything.
i was in a similar super possessive relationship for around five years in a similar state to you, but not nearly so young. eventually you have to cut the dead wood to grow, and he's just another predatory person albeit one with a comforting face. don't feel guilty. you were essentially groomed.
i don't know what to say about friends, i'm still trying to figure that one out. but being independent, looking after yourself and your future - these are all great things and i wish you so much luck anon
No. 230207
I wish I was more outgoing and dominant. I'm very polite and collected, I always go out of my way to not be a bother, I'm anxious about the stupidest stuff. You know the memes about bestfriends, that when they're hungry they eat everything in your fridge etc? Well, I'm that friend that wouldn't ever ask for something to eat, and when offered would refuse and fucking die of starvation.
Without giving too much unecessary details, there's a place where I am, you could say, a customer or rather a club member. For years. Then there's this new girl, she's loud, bubbly, outgoing, she stormed in, made herself at home and without thinking of manners or the owners, does and uses everything as she pleases. Damn I wish I was like that, not caring about people and stressing over irrelevant shit, but naturally making others… well, not "serve" me, but like go along with me, just with the power of my character.
There's no "then change" solution. I improved a lot already, I may sound like a pushover but I'm actually assertive. Only when it comes to me, though. I have manners of some fucking Japanese old person. Wouldn't scream help to not be awkward and bother anyone. Lol
No. 230220
File: 1519164841922.jpeg (59.23 KB, 600x450, 30a.jpeg)
>>230204i don't know if it's real or not, but i always prefer to take someone seriously on threads like these and accept the risk of being bamboozled rather than getting it wrong and making somebody's bad day worse.
No. 230230
>>230197it costs nothing to extend some basic support to someone even if they are lying. what's the worst that can happen? some weird liar thinks you, an anonymous person, are a fool for believing the story they typed out? i think i'll live
>>230204this is totally plausible to me, especially because it doesn't mean they actually care about affection, but are using the expectation of familial affection as a way to further exploit anon
No. 230260
File: 1519174888074.jpg (368.01 KB, 1200x1200, throwmeinthetrash.jpg)
>get with boyfriend at 16, still together 8 years later
>2 years into it realized I'm a lesbian and just want a qt gf
>somehow still here, feeling like a stale dry dinner roll, living the same day over and over again
>posted this same vent 2 years ago
No. 230266
>>230258shit anon, I'm in the same boat as you. My boyfriend always pulls passive aggressive bullshit whenever I hang out with people. The problem is that he always says no if I ask him to join and then proceeds to call my friends (who he's never met) pieces of shit.
I started to cut people off to please him but decided to just ignore his petty bullshit because I could never please him. If it's still a problem, I don't know and frankly don't care.
What he's doing is cruel and you don't deserve it. It's obvious he's insecure, talk to him about it and stand up to yourself. Don't let him isloate you and make you feel like shit.
No. 230335
>>230331I am, why are you being so cunty?
I'm still allowed to be scared and vent in a vent thread.
No. 230342
>>230336>giddyyou're high.
this is how most painkiller addictions start. be careful.
No. 230344
>>228241I have a similar-ish story? sorry its kind of all over the place, this is my first time actually sharing this story.
I was always the ugly friend in high school. I eventually did my hair and make up just right to attract a guy now and then who i met online for a few dates but no one really stuck. after graduating, I started working and got more attractive (still not cute or anything, just decent) and getting attention I wasnt used to.
At my work place I had a crush on this man I thought clicked so well with me. i was 18, he was 26 or so. we both had the same loser interests and humor. we would talk all the time and there was definitely sexual tension. he had a ghetto glam girlfriend (early 30's) who also worked with us. they would constantly fight at work and just be /that/ couple that always broke up and got back together. She has a husband who she lives and has kids with the cuck knows she dates my crush. They only live together for the kids. One day he facetimes me drunk and just acts really stupid and straight up asks me if I liked him. I told him I did, and he said cool. he asked if I could meet him the next day. I get all cute and wait for his text but it seems like his phone is off bc my messages aren't delivering. he eventually calls me, says he just crashed his cousins car and was freaking out. I got a ride over to his place and he's all over the place and then kisses me. we go grab something to eat so he can calm down and he tells me he's going to probably get arrested due to the crash (hit and run) and that he left his girlfriend the day before and wanted to be with me because she was abusive and would never leave her husband. I paid for a hotel room close by and we fucked. he was my first. his now-ex
calls and he ignores it, saying she's going to try to get back with him. the next time I worked we had everything under wraps and kissed in hallways. the next time I see his ex, she's talking about her boyfriend. it's still him. I confronted him and he apologizes, admits its fucked up, says he still wants to be friends. im retarded and agree. he calls me to his house and fuck again. i get emotional about how I want a relationship and I wouldn't abuse him like she did. he's still with her the next day. he calls me to his house and the cycle repeats for months. he eventually got fired and I stopped replying until I see him by coincidence at another job. we kissed and the cycle came up again. there is honestly so much more to this but I eventually got so sick of it and cut him out cold turkey. It was then when I realized how obsessed I was with him and how awful the situation was.
No. 230345
File: 1519216733012.png (102.57 KB, 606x483, nope.PNG)
>>230140>>230169>>230220>>230230thanks for the advice and for being kind. i bucked up and laid everything on the table: that i'm older now, i see him as predatory, and i'm angry that i can never have those formative years back after dedicating them all to him.
he broke down and owned that everything he's done to me was completely selfish and fucked and he'll never forgive himself for taking me so young. i've never seen anybody so disgusted with themselves. i don't think they were crocodile tears, but it still wasn't enough to make up for 3 (almost 4 now) years of grooming during a really fragile period in my life.
we "broke up" (i don't even know what to call it because we never had a normal relationship–if anything it was like a fucked up pseudo-parental thing) and i'm free to see other people, put myself out there, and do everything i wanted to do but couldn't under his watch.
he asked if he could at least hear from me every once in a while, on my own terms, just to know that i'm alive and okay. i don't know what to think about this since i know i don't owe him anything, but i think i'll do that for his sake. i have too much empathy, but i'm going my own way without his intervention and constant surveillance and i'm going to make something for myself. i made it clear that he doesn't have any rights to me anymore.
i just needed that little extra push, even if it was from complete strangers. sorry for the blogpost. thanks for helping me get my life back. i'll admit i'm a little scared since it's a massive change, but i'll be okay.
No. 230393
I have serious problems with my self-esteem that affect my dating life to a point where I honestly don't see me EVER find a man who loves me the way that I love him.
When I was in my early teens I was a weeb and was often bullied in school for my looks (which, in retrospective, was somehow justified). I am now 23 and am considered conventionally attractive by most people (no model-tier looks, but still kinda cute), but I have never gotten over the deep insecurities that I developed during my teens.
I am SUPER shallow when it comes to men (all of my friends and even my mom hate me for that), which leads to me exclusively being interested in dating guys who are actual models. This has gotten to a point where I no longer find ~normal~ guys attractive. If he is not a male model who is at least sorta successfull I just won't be into him. I know this sounds super ridiculous and I absolutely hate myself for it. But I honestly can't seem to change change it, no matter how hard I try. I just don't feel any sort of attraction to normal guys anymore, and it is only getting worse. It somehow feels like dating a normal guy at this point would be a downgrade, even if that guy was caring, intelligent and everything that I want in a guy.
The reason for that is because I feel like being with these guys somehow raises my own value. It's not only them giving me positive attention that raises my self-esteem, it's also the fact that I know that a ton of women would love be with these guys but they choose to hang out with me instead (even if it's just to use me for sex).
But these guys obviously have a huge selection of women to choose from. And because of that I have literally never had a meaningful relationship with any of them - 90% of the time it ends in them ghosting me for apparently no reason after a couple of dates, because why would they choose to be in a relationship with me if they can be with a 100 other, more attractive women?
Honestly, this situation is killing me, and even though the initial recognition I receive through these guys raises my self esteem, these situations always end in heartbreak and make me feel even shittier in the end. I just want to be normal and happy and date a normal guy with a normal job and normal looks.
No. 230397
>>230358lmao, same. i dont let people know what i think of them tho, i just make a mental checkmark like yup… theyre dumbasses… oh well
>>230393>I honestly don't see me EVER find a man who loves me the way that I love himwell it seems like the way you love them is shallow af, so good for you. girl, get your mental health together, you sound like a shitty person
No. 230412
>>230393You sound exactly like me 5 years ago. I know you might not want to hear this, but you need a therapist. Your self esteem is nonexistent and you’re trying to make up for that by only going after men who would make you look better to everyone else. You’re insecure and you’re afraid that if you date a guy who isn’t your idea of perfect that people will see you as unsuccessful, ugly, or think you don’t care about your own looks or attractiveness.
Getting a better job and moving away from my codependent narcissist mother helped flip the switch too. I don’t want to assume anything about your family or money situation, but when I was like that (srsly, hi me from 5 years ago!) it was because I didn’t know I was in an abusive situation. My mom was like Margo with the way she wanted to isolate and control me, but she never wanted to sell me off to a rich man or make me famous, she just didn’t want me to do better than her in any part of my life, so she wouldnonly criticise men aroundme and tell me they were shit, so that in my mind I made up the difference with rich, successful famous men I actually convinced myself I had a chance with (“because I’m more average-pretty and have a normal job, I’m more relatable than some actress or model!” kek).
But yeah, get a therapist and discuss your childhood. Sounds cliché as fuck, but it’s a cliché for a reason.
No. 230434
>>230393>dating an attractive man will make me feel like I have value Okay, that seems like it makes sense, but what will you do in the long run?
When you start to age? Inevitably you will get to a point where society will no longer consider you conventional and valuable based on your looks. Then you'll need to stand on your own. Your man's gonna get old and gross too.
Like it seems like it makes sense now, but this just won't work out. You're setting yourself up for more hard feelings and it's all because of what some shitheads in school (who probably don't think of you at all) said to you forever ago. Try to like yourself at least, you must have more to offer than general cuteness.
No. 230448
File: 1519248985448.jpg (197.25 KB, 741x697, 1518816166641.jpg)
Im addicted to pain, misery, and self harm.
I used to cut myself and tell myself im ugly. Then i switched that out for starving myself, which made me hate myself a little bit less. Then i switched that out for making myself vomit whenever i ate. Now im in recovery for bulimia. My urges to cut myself and my self hatred have returned in full. All i want to do is start dieting again, but even then i know i'll hate whatever i see in the mirror and i wont stop until im clinically underweight again.
There is a constant voice in my head that never stops screaming at me that i am an ugly, selfish, stupid piece of shit and the world will be better off without me. I have been told by therapists and my mom that i am wonderful and loved but the voice just starts telling me that they are lying.
I have friends but i dont hang out with them anymore because i dont trust them, i think they all secretly haye me and just keep me around because sometimes im funny.
Self harm, starving, and binging abd purging are the only ways i can get the thoughts to turn off, if only for a moment.
I know this is a big problem, bigger than any one person on this board, but can anyone help me with where to start fixing this? Is it possible to ever recover from this
No. 230471
>>230469I'm really, really scared that I might be.
Last night I asked my friend if she thought our other friend was talking in code about me. I once recieved a compliment from an old high school acquaintance when we ran into each other, and I literally invented a story in my head where my friend told her I was suicidal and that I needed a pickmeup, and that they planned the whole encounter and compliment out to keep me from killing myself. I absolutely could not believe for a second that someone would have a spontaneous appreciation for me, there had to be another reason.
I'm sure I'm somewhere on the spectrum, but I'm hoping it's something more treatable like BPD or complex PTSD, but my obsession with hating and destroying myself is clearly not going away without some sort of serious intervention.
No. 230482
File: 1519256618958.jpg (37.71 KB, 750x497, 17992254_1844648989191790_5819…)
>>230448your situation does sound extreme and worthy of professional help, but there's a few things that have made me hate myself much less.
one is doing hobbies like researching, reading nonfiction, strength training, and volunteering in small ways for causes i care about. it's important not to base your entire self worth on some external hobby, but if you already hate yourself for irrational reasons, it doesn't help if you also don't have much going on in your life because all your time is stolen by starving yourself and hurting yourself. i thought of what kind of people i admire for things other than looks, and did some of the same things they were doing, not because they actually have more worth than me, but because then, when i was overwhelmed with self-hate, at least my rational brain could remember that i do the same types of things as people i respect, so why do i think i'm an exception who should be hated? i really don't think i deserved self hatred in misery in the past….but at the same time…i didn't have anything going on that was particularly interesting or worthy of admiration, so it turned into a cycle of hating myself for not having any notable good qualities, and not doing anything towards self improvement because i hated myself too much to bother.
another thing was drilling it into my head, every day, that it's not my duty to feel guilt and self-hatred. that no one benefits from it, not me, not other people. that there isn't some universal force that requires me to hate myself as some cosmic duty. there will be no ill consequences to forgiving myself for anything and everything and being on my own side.
it might sound obvious, but i think sometimes when we hate ourselves, we unconsciously rationalize it as the last just and true thing to do. because everyone hates us and we have no worth, so the least we can do is agree with that sentiment right? so if you kind of follow that logic backwards and remind yourself that no actually, most people don't even know you and no sane person wants you to feel so guilty every day, you can slowly start to unravel some of your irrational unconscious assumptions.
but the biggest thing that helped me a lot was doing heavy research on various buddhist conceptions about ego. we tend to associate having a big ego with high self esteem, but actually, if you hate yourself strongly, it's more likely that you have a very strong ego that you believe in fiercely. Buddhist philosophy tends to describe the ego as nothing but a collection of ideas and tendencies that together form the illusion of something permanent and tangible. if you hate yourself a lot, you probably feel like your "self" has always been and will always be the same, it's inherently bad and inferior, and it's fundamentally different from all other egos, in this case fundamentally worse. But if you think of your ego as only having a very volatile and dependent existence, you realize your "self" has always changed rapidly moment to moment and it will continue to change dramatically, it has no inherent qualities good or bad, and it's no better or worse than any other span of consciousness. So, when you think of it like that, even if you think you're being a real POS today, there's absolutely no reason to think you're an inherently worthless person or that you can't transform dramatically.
i know this is long and it really does sound like you could use some professional help, but i think that the philosophies and beliefs we internalize can make or break our mental health, disordered or otherwise, so I wrote everything that's helped me. Hope things turn around for you anon.
No. 230487
>>230471It sounds to me like you're suffering from OCD along with paranoia and low self esteem.
I know I couldn't accept any compliment because I believed whoever issued it to me was lying and trying to gain something from it. I'm still wary of compliments, but at least I don't feel like I don't deserve something (like going to university) because my worthless self will take someone else's place.
Are you young? For me, it got better with age, but I do recommend going to a psychiatrist.
No. 230516
>>230005tfw also wear a beret and also get mistaken for being a vegetarian
Hi my sister, but no really this is such a weird thing. I think its a combination of being thin, looking like a hipster, but also being expected to have meat as a staple in meals? I get asked if I'm a vegetarian if I order something that has no meat when eating out. But lately I've also lost the taste for meat too and never am in the mood for it. I think the questioning is conditioning me.
No. 230521
File: 1519265437378.jpg (69.03 KB, 461x336, 1518788994699.jpg)
What do you do when you know your only two friends are close-minded cunts who don't respect you at all but at the same time you've never met anyone as cool or similar to you as them and you're scared you either never will again, or even if you do they'll turn out to be just as fake and shitty, as if you can't have their good parts with their bad?
No. 230524
>>230482This was very eye-opening, thank you.
The drilling it into my head, I'm gonna start that ASAP. Hobbies are a little difficult for me because they can very quickly turn into excuses for me to set high standards and get down on myself for not achieving them.
>>230487I've considered OCD too. I'm fucked in the head, that's for sure.
No. 230527
>>230507I feel the same way. Like it's a shame. Everyone I've met barring a couple of people who've been together 10+ years split up. Wasting 6-8 years on someone is…eeh. Makes me glad to be single as I'd feel like a sucka (no offense to people that has happened to, it's not your fault). People just work through people like disposable items and move on.
Relationships don't progress and bloom, just wilt.
I kinda blame the internet for making people think it's suh easy to get another person (it isn't) plus the endless porn, people are items now which they have visually instructed the populace are easy to source. E.g Tinder
No. 230529
>>230527(they split up before/when I wasn't in their life/etc, I wasn't the cause, they didn't see me and then drop their partners)
/phrasing is important
No. 230530
File: 1519266602869.jpg (72.6 KB, 640x640, tumblr_nt22a5Nl8y1sm8eq7o1_128…)
>>230524cool! i'm glad it made sense. i'm the one who wrote the wall of text. i totally get what you mean about hobbies having the potential to make it worse, gotta be careful and not have infinitely high goals within hobbies or base your self worth on acheivement alone.
wrt drilling things into your head, at first you'll probably have a disconnect between what you think and understand rationally and what you feel, but the more you think about it regularly, the more likely it is that something will "click" and your thoughts and feelings will line up. it just takes time to recondition your beliefs.
also, i gotta say, you might be fucked in the head in some ways, but what you've typed to us is very self-aware and clearly articulated, so you're already ahead of a lot of people who aren't able to do that. there's clearly a part of your mind that's perfectly rational and able to recognize irrational and unhealthy behavior, so if you continue to strengthen that part of your mind, at least you won't be escalating your problems. the worst is when the rational part of your brain manages to intellectualize the harsh things you things you think about when you're in a state, so they feel true and validated 24/7. you've already shown that you're able to know what you're doing, so you're not beyond help and you're not beyond changing. a lot of popular lolcows have all kidns of neuroses but they don't even begin to realize it so they never change.
you recognize that you're having irrational self hatred and some kind of mental instability, even if you're not sure what it is yet or exactly what to do. imo, that self awareness the most important part. it's joked about a lot but there's a reason people in AA always have to admit they're alcoholics before anything else.
No. 230619
>>230618not trying to defend her but most lesbians assume bi girls will leave them for a straight relationship eventually cause it's 'easier' and it's very very disheartening.
source: bi girl who's never been taken seriously in a les relationship.
No. 230620
>>230618t. bincel
lesbians who date bisexuals are weak
No. 230629
File: 1519324523596.jpg (80.67 KB, 500x367, 7b3.jpg)
>>230619I hate this attitude. Bisexual doesn't mean you want to fuck everything that moves.
No. 230635
File: 1519327455404.jpg (29.19 KB, 722x349, 1506741314158.jpg)
>have never wanted children
>can stand them for a few hours but any more than that is a flat out nope
>want a ligation so I never have to stress about pregnancy
>"oh anon most doctors won't do ligations until you're 25"
>"oh anon what if you change your mind?"
>incredibly progesterone sensitive so even the mini pill made me have migraines
>most forms of bc are out
>already have horrible periods so copper is not ideal
>resent babies and children even worse because doctors are uncooperative
>just give me a fucking ligation please
No. 230643
File: 1519332232635.jpg (92.36 KB, 500x440, tumblr_o2g5fwicrN1r0bcoko1_500…)
About a year ago I regret ed thus guys advances on me, I was and still am not looking for a relationship and even explained this in detail to him. Instead of understanding my reasoning he continued to make advances on me. I got fed up and blocked him everywhere.
I wish it ended there but no, people are still telling me that he's obsessed with me a year later. Going as far to attack me on social media with his other weird friends, without me knowing of course.
I really don't like a dumbass spreading rumors about me and ruining my name like this because I rejected him, but alas.
No. 230647
File: 1519333758870.jpg (508.49 KB, 2518x1024, the virgin bincel.jpg)
>>230627>>230628false. i made this just 4 u uwu
inb4
triggered bs fuck with me. you know i'm right, lol be mad.
(infighting) No. 230650
File: 1519334788866.jpg (9.6 KB, 223x226, you.jpg)
>>230647Here's your (you).
No. 230660
>>230652Thanks, I am laughing with my friends at his antics on Discord. But at the same time it's frustrating and kind of creepy that he's spreading all kinds of rumors about me. Stuff like making up fetishes I'd never have and makin fun of them with his friends, saying I fucked a dude for a video game, etc.
Shits fucked up
No. 230661
>>230635An anon after my own heart.
What happened to the child hating thread?
No. 230672
>>230544I'm in the same boat anon. Have you received any help yet? As for me, I even do eraser burns if I dull my razor too much and can't get a hold of another soon enough. I want to go to the hospital for my self harm tendencies but I don't think I will be taken seriously if I'm doing both eraser burns and keeping the cuts shallow. I do it for the pain, not to kill myself and I feel like that's taken less serious by default. Doesn't help that I'm deathly afraid of hospitals and doctors so I make every excuse I can not to see anyone.
Anyway, i hope you're feeling ok and if you need someone to talk to I'd be happy to.
No. 230760
>>230098Update: I took a test and it was negative. Planned to take another in a few days but then got my period. I'm in a lot of pain but delighted lol.
Sorry for freaking out over something silly, but I had nobody else to talk to or calm me down. Thanks anons xxxx
No. 230794
>>230791I'm 25 and since I started bc for my pcos, the slightest things can make me cry. I never used to be this way, anonette. I never used to cry at anything.
A man at the auto mechanics raised is voice at me recently, and I drove away crying before I could even ask him for help! I couldn't believe it.
If you weren't this way before, maybe it's hormonal for you too?
No. 230798
File: 1519434040525.png (Spoiler Image,762.2 KB, 1135x639, back in the day.png)
>>230544When I was 23 I decided to start drawing on myself instead of cutting. Nothing pretty. Pic related it looked like a child's art project.
An online friend who used to deal with this suggested I do it and send a picture of the end result to them. Then talk about how I felt afterwards. It worked well for me to the point where I moved past even drawing on myself and right into discussing my feelings with others.
Anyway thought I would share this. Cutting is a tough habit to stop, anon! It's been years for me, and I still want to do it sometimes when I'm really upset. Albeit not nearly as badly or as often as I used to. You'll feel better about yourself when you can stop, though.
No. 230801
File: 1519435712699.jpg (55.77 KB, 700x400, 1456705500172.jpg)
>>230358Holy fuck, anon, this is me. I literally am friendless because it seems like everyone starts off cool but little things they say later tick me off and make me think they're a retard and I treat the little things as major red flags (usually with what men say) then stop talking to them. I throw people away so easily and look down on everyone who's boring/retarded but then feel bad about myself because I know I'm shit too just like everybody. Idk if it's a superiority-inferiority complex I have going on or what.
>>230372I literally have venus in aquarius, please respond.
No. 230810
I'm 22 and I've been my grandmother's caregiver since I was 18. Sometimes I get upset because I am that loser in my mid 20's with no job experience or anything, but also I don't have any resentment against my grandmother; its not like its her fault. I'm so fucked up from watching her health and mobility decline over the years. She used to be able to walk down the hallway and get to into bed by herself with me just nearby. Now I push her wheelchair as close to the toilet as possible, have to dress and undress her completely, have to lift her legs into bed, have to hold onto her as she uses her walker.
But also my biggest issue is my family. We all live together, and I'm the only one who takes care of the house. I get my grandma up, dressed, make her breakfast every morning, get some cleaning done, have had to start making her lunch as well; and my mother wakes up around 2 PM. My mom's life is hard because she grocery shops (using my brothers money) she lets the dogs out to pee, and she does her and my father's laundry. I'm losing my mind I literally have to follow a strict written down weekly schedule to keep the house clean and take care of my grandma; just because we have 7 people constantly in the house and I'm the only one who cleans for some fucking reason. I tried letting the house go to shit but no one cares, and its not fair to the dogs and my grandma to live in a dirty environment just because everyone else sucks. My brother keeps jabbing me like "you have a fuckin job yet" because if I'm not legally employed that means I don't do anything. My parents are both fat lazy fucks that take terrible care of themselves and my biggest fear is getting roped into taking care of one or both of them because they're getting old and in poor health. I honestly don't know if I could. I love my grandma and she raised me. My parents never liked me and caring for them would be hell. sorry for wall of text I seriously just don't know what to do with myself
No. 230812
>>230798Nta. But did you draw on yourself with markers or…?
This might help me with my skin and comedone picking problem. I just don't want to stain myself with actual markers.
No. 230815
Afer 4 years since I got myself out of depression, I feel like once again I'm losing control of my life.
I'm in a LDR, we went on vacation in January and everything was peachy, but since then we've been seeing each other less and less. I had my birthday on Monday and all I got was a laconic "Happy Birthday" from him. Then silence. I asked him if everything is okay yesterday and got some weird reply how "the time is going so fast lately" and he has to change his life because he's not feeling himself. I expressed my concerns, he said he's going to take care of himself and our contact went dead again. I've been preparing myself for something to go wrong but it still fucking hurts.
Also I've been trying to be nice to my stepmother and spending more time with her, but it seems to be a mistake, because now she's trying to investigate more into my life and I really don't want my parents to know some stuff (not doing anything illegal, but they would probably still flip their shit).
I'm also probably gonna flunk my studies and now I'm regretting taking them in the first place. On the other hand, we have a winter break now and I'm pissed about it, since I really need something substantial to do and concentrate on anything else than my shit life.
After paying bills my financial situation is pretty grim, yet all I can do now is spending money on clothes so I can numb some pain like a vapid bitch I am.
No. 230818
File: 1519442502480.png (86.05 KB, 345x235, 1513283551238.png)
I wish I was more feminine.
I have a vagina and all but I'm kind of traumatized by getting molested in school bathrooms cause people didn't think I was a girl for having a flat chest and short hair.
My BDD has gotten so bad I can't be bothered to even make the effort to dress nice and put on my usual makeup anymore cause I feel like I'll never be a woman. I either look like a man or "jailbait" to people. I feel so inferior and I don't know what to do about it.
My boyfriend says he loves me but he always talks about making me pregnant so I can grow boobs and it makes me want to cry why did he settle for me why why why(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
No. 230829
>>230824Same. I read this as a girl posting about looking too much like a guy for being flat-chested and apparently unfeminine.
I mean, trannies can't get pregnant or have real vaginas so…
No. 230846
>>230799I'm sorry you're dealing with this, anon. It sounds like your bf isn't equipped to deal with the emotional aspects of your relationship. I hope he treats you well otherwise at least.
I had a similar situation with my ex and personally I feel refreshed that I got out even though he was a decent guy otherwise. Being with someone who was generally passive to everything I had been through ended up having more negative effects on me than I could have ever imagined even though I'm typically high functioning and used to fending for myself through my own mental illness. Not that I'm trying to push you to leave your guy or anything, I'm just hoping maybe my little blogpost might help in some way I guess.
Stay safe and keep that recovery process going as best you can. I hope you can get this situation sorted soon. i only wish I could be of more help.
No. 230850
>>230801omg, an astral relative (uwu)… venus in aquarius makes you extremely picky and hate everyone kek. it's honestly one of the best venus signs to have.
t. venarian aquarian :^)
I'm the EXACT same way you are though; I've dropped almost every friend I've ever had over the dumbest shit. I'm not
that cool so I probably can't do much better than mediocre friends, but I still don't regret it.
No. 230864
>>230860Is it on the same side of your body, anon? Does it feel like muscular pain (cramping/soreness) or something different?
I would pay close attention and use the details to find a specialist who probably can help you. Chronic pain is no fun and the longer it goes without a diagnosis the more anxiety you will accumulate over it.
No. 230868
>>230856part of me still thinks it's bullshit too, but so much of it has been bone chillingly accurate for me. it's like I'm being roasted by my guardian angel.
>>230866yeah, that makes sense. aqua and scorpio are similar in that aspect.
scorpio venuses (or maybe it's venerian scorpions? that sounds cool as hell) usually have super high expectations. a lot of times they'll really love someone until they find something they don't like about that person… then they'll fucking hate them.
they're usually cool enough to be picky like that. scorpio would be amazing if it wasn't such a possessive cluster b sign…
but anyways, i'll quit sperging about muh ass-troll-orgy bs
No. 230885
>>230864thanks anon. no, it's the right hip and left shoulder that's bugging me, but they both feel like muscular aches. the only way I could fall asleep last night was putting more heat packs on.
my bf said he'd pay for me to go physio so I might do that but fuck I really just don't understand what's going on.
No. 230925
>>230836>not feminine but have a vaginaAnon could be making that distinction because she's insecure
>molested for 'flat chest' by girlsNot all girls are friendly, that isn't hard to believe
>men hate chestletsThe only guy she mentioned in her post was her bf, and she doesn't use the word hate. And it's pretty common for men to be attracted to bigger breasts.
>bf wants me to get pregnant to grow tits (as if that happens)Sounds stupid but guys say stupid shit all the time.
I really don't think this anon deserved to be banned. And even if this were to possibly be a robot I don't see the purpose in posting this "bait".
No. 230928
File: 1519551172589.png (534.67 KB, 1366x768, Not the only non hentia i have…)
>almost 20
>starts first relationship w best guy friend
>been dating a month / had my first kiss
>no experience BUT very horny and cant stop masturbating n fantasize about starting my sex life
>knows I should dial it back for a normal relationship but still v horny
>I feel like a guy tf, my hormones r just taking over
No. 230931
File: 1519554111829.jpg (19.32 KB, 210x240, taiga-aisaka-toradora-4.26.jpg)
>19 years old
>have had big tits since age 12
>"omg you're so lucky"
>have always been jealous of flat chested girls…
>want to remove/ reduce boobs (DD)
>also want to have kids some day
>secretly wish to have a dick
>secretly wish I could be a father instead of a mother
>am bisexual on top of that
>slightly repulsed by the idea of random guys finding me sexy b/c of cleavage
>dress conservatively (t-shirts, polos always covering chest)
>not sure if closet trans boy
>ashamed of being bisexual
>really really afraid of being alienated from society despite the "acceptance" movement going on right now
>the US could regress at any point and I don't want to be on the wrong side (or any side)
>I also don't like having labels that allow people to easily group me into a category
>maybe I don't like all other gay people
>maybe I don't like all trans people (especially fucking trenders that destroy the purpose of the movement)
>td;lr I'm a faggot and I hate my body/sexuality/gender (?) and I find it convenient to look like a generic (albeit "artsy") white chick
No. 230934
>>230933It's the placement of the planets in the sky at the time and place of your birth. The greeks believed your soul came through the sky to inhabit your body, so stars and planet placement would influence who you are.
Go on astro.com and do a personal portrait, you need your birth date and place of birth, it's better if you have the hour you were born too.
No. 230943
>>230931>>230936This bit is not 90% of girls
>secretly wish to have a dick>secretly wish I could be a father instead of a motherBut the rest is totally normal, don't worry anon. Also if you don't like gay or trans people I really doubt you are one. Usually there is affinity or common ground with a group you are part of. No affinity=not part, what'd the point be of being a lone gay/trans person and just alienate yourself from every group
No. 230944
>>230943It'd be like
>I'm a Goth>I hate wearing black>I hate Goth music>Goth people annoy meLike you're not the thing if you hate everything about it. Girls are influenced to be bi from youth by the "lesbians are sexy" thing which is all over the place. It's in men's favor that girls are bi. When I realized I was just influenced by the media of what "sexy" is I became totally straight. For example I'm not attracted to women's personalities. The pervading media image is "girls are sexy" and "lesbians are sexy" and "men like lesbians" which all contribute to the frequency.
No. 230945
I really hate how being a white woman apparently makes me privileged for some reason.
Just take a look at this ridiculous wiki article:
> White feminism is a form of feminism that focuses on the struggles of white women while failing to address distinct forms of oppression faced by women of color and women lacking other privileges.[1]Link:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_feminismWhen I got involved in the feminist movement during high school, I never made a difference between me and other women of color. I was aware of different branches but all in all, I thought there was a bonding idea that we all have to face and experience similar thing due to our gender and that everything else is secondary. Then I got in contact with some women from various ethnic backgrounds, participated in different related events well lo and behold, they strongly believe white women, including me, have it easier because we have so many privileges.
And they keep talking about these privileges but I honestly never got to experience them and I doubt most other white women.
It's stupid that the issues white women are facing are considered of a lesser defree just because we are white. Not to mention so many times non-white feminists talk about white women in a derogatory manner.
No. 230946
>>230945I think it's because most white feminists really are a cliche. All they care about is the wage gap, consent in the arena of their own dating experience in the western world, shaving and beauty standards. They don't give a fuck about anything that doesn't affect them
Source: White woman who is ashamed of western feminism
No. 230948
File: 1519571338942.jpg (101.46 KB, 1113x702, sdut-surgery-billboard-size-ma…)
I'm tired, I'm tired of having a low self esteem because of my breast size, I know it's ridiculous but being flat chested makes me feel like a man.I envy girls that have big breast, and I hate how some on them claim that having big breasts is annoying and that men only want you for sex or whatever other excuse they use, at least men desire you, at least you feel like a woman, at least you can rest assured that your boyfriend won't fantasize about a girl with bigger breasts. I don't care if I sound childish. I just want to be desired.
No. 230954
>>230948Big chests are not the only way to be desirable or feminine. Most women are on the smaller side.
You seem like you’re probably young. I used to feel this way when I was ~16 or so. Now I love being petite. Maybe because being a teenager and flat chested, you look much more similar to boys your age. However now there is no mistaking the difference between my body and the body of a man my age.
Anyway that said most men don’t care that much, and the pressure isn’t coming from them. They’re happy to see almost any boob naked. Men who make advances based on breast size tend to be less educated, hick types in all honesty.
No. 230967
>>230966Same here anon. Before I shut myself off from everyone people would come to me with their venting and gossip on the daily… then when I wanted to do the same I just got the "stop complaining without trying to do something" as if all I ever did was complain to them and nothing else. Which was simply not the case and they even knew I was dealing with some tough shit at that point in my life.
Really tiring. Friends just aren't for me at this point I feel. Can't trust or rely on anyone.
No. 230969
>>230936I completely agree. The culture on the internet is so toxic I want to completely avoid it– but I have met good trans people irl and they're cool for the most part. I'm afraid of being one of them though because it's 1) really difficult to be trans, especially when there's so many loud people making it hard for anyone else 2) it's really easy to alienate yourself from society if you're constantly fighting for your gender identity. Yet, what's the point of being trans if people don't recognize you as what you "truly are"? If I was trans I'd have to commit publicly, which I just can't do…
>>230943I like people I've met irl, but I live in a sheltered community where I don't really have access to a lot of other gay people. Sure, a decent amount of them have been infected by the internet which makes the group as a whole unappealing but individuals usually are fine. I guess the internet mainly shapes my view of them.
>>230944 I think you're reflecting a bit here because while I'm not attracted to most women's personalities, there are definitely exceptions– the same goes for men (not into overly feminine girls or masculine men). I'm also sexually attracted to girls, though right now, slightly less than guys, but I would fuck someone with boobs & a vagina. Your argument about hating a group and therefore not being a part of it is interesting though– does me not associating with people who reflect my sexuality make me not that sexuality?? I don't really care for either political party's actions as of late but I still have democratic ideals, so does that make me a republican? or just nothing?
Thank you guys for hearing me out and responding, I really do appreciate it.
No. 230974
File: 1519586277413.png (784 KB, 1513x943, ypipo.png)
>>230945It's easy to be annoyed with the movement when I see retarded shit like this on a daily basis (on twitter).
No. 230978
File: 1519588047319.png (422.26 KB, 647x624, deadinside.png)
>23 yrs old
>Break up from a 4 yrs relationship
>Stop seing all of my friends because he is always hanging with them
>Still see all of their communication because I'm on the group chat
>Feel like shit
>After a few month he contact me "I feel bad about you not seing them anymore I know they matter a lot to you, please feel free to come hang with us I'm over you and won't bother you"
>Starved from friendship I throw myself at the opportunity like a retard
>Start seing them every weekend again
>Feelsgoodman.png
>Start talking to him like a regular friend
>He start messaging me everyday
>I can see where this shit is going
>"Anon I don't understand why you don't even want to think about getting back with me, maybe in a few years, who knows?"
>Reject him
>He gets angry start crying call me cruel and cold
>"Can't you see how broken I am? I just need you to support me a little bit, why would you be so cruel to me when you know you are the best person I've ever knew?"
>Get the fuck out, block his number and leave the conversation
>Back to having no friends
No. 230979
File: 1519588991562.jpg (12.58 KB, 260x203, 12yrs.JPG)
>mfw i hate all my immediate family members except for my mom
>mfw i'm moving to canadia with my bf
>mfw i hate everyone
life's good today anons
No. 230989
>>230945>a bonding idea that we all have to face and experience similar thing due to our gender and that everything else is secondary.They're seeing you as White first, then a woman. Which is pretty much the same experience every other woman has on the planet.
So…obviously the experience of women isn't as universal as you'd hope it'd be.
No. 230992
My boyfriend’s roommate has been dating this girl for about a year and a half now, and at first I thought she was cool. Now she’s progressively making me more pissed off.
Once I came into their place to find her talking to my boyfriend with no pants on. He was sitting at his computer desk and she was posing in his door frame. I didn’t say anything then, I just gave her a weird look. She was continuing a conversation with us from her boyfriend’s room. When I came out to say something to her, she wasn’t wearing a shirt (not even with a bra) at all? I said, “Put some clothes on, girl” then closed his bedroom door. I figured it was maybe the way she would have walked around dorms or something in college because she has just graduated at the time.
A few months later we found out from a mutual friend with her ex boyfriend that she had been sending her ex pictures with my boyfriend in the background that were intended to look provocative. I’d noticed her recording him and stuff before, but she said she was sending the stuff to a mutual friend of theirs. Not that the mutual friend was her ex…
So anyway, in their new place the washer and dryer are in my boyfriend’s room, and I swear to god she’s purposely leaving her panties in there. My boyfriend sent me a picture of a pair on his floor asking if they were mine about a month ago. I said no, but I recognized them from when she left a pair on the couch in their living room (bc they were sequined and cheetah print… lol) Again there was a pair near his bed (which isn’t even near the washer and dryer.)I asked my boyfriend if he knew who they belonged to, and he seemed a little confused. Then when I went to ask her boyfriend, he said they were hers and she apologized. My bf said that was the 3rd time it happened.
Just now she came into his room with no pants on when I was in the bathroom and just UGH!
Like am I being ridiculous here? Is she doing this on purpose or is she actually that clueless?
No. 230995
>>230992Maybe you should ask why your bf is entertaining a girl in different states of undress, but I'm kinda a prude. Or why her bf is apparently ok she's doing that and leaving her panties in another guy's room? Does her bf know she's sending sexy pics to her ex?
You all sound nuts lol.
No. 231002
>>230950I know I'm obsessed with male attention Anon, please, I came here to vent, not so you can state the obvious and tell me to kill myself.
But thanks for the reply I guess.
No. 231003
>>230995My boyfriend is terrible at reading social situations and naive to the ways women try to play mind games. He doesn’t like the girl at all. I told him to talk to his roommate about it since they’ve been friends since high school, but then he doesn’t. He also doesn’t think I should be so bothered because he says he would rather have nothing to do with her.
Her boyfriend hasn’t seen her do any of this aside from the underwear thing, which I’m guessing he assumes is just an accident. She often goes out without him dressed provocatively, posting revealing or pin-up style photos and is constantly posting chats on social media of flirtatious conversations she’s having with other men. It’s weird. She’s hot though, and men tend to overlook the red flags for an attractive enough woman.
No. 231007
>>231003If he doesn't like her and doesn't care, just ask him not to entertain her unless she fully dressed. Since it bothers you. He probably won't, which I'd then advise finding a bf who is more proactive in caring about your feelings.
Or, just straight up tell her to stop talking to your bf naked or tell her bf to to tell her to stop. Or just let him know about her how activities.
No. 231014
>>231013Maybe because
>I hate how some on them claim that having big breasts is annoying and that men only want you for sex or whatever other excuse they use, at least men desire you, at least you feel like a woman, at least you can rest assured that your boyfriend won't fantasize about a girl with bigger breastsis the most retarded sentence I've ever read in my entire life? Nice emoticon by the way, faggot. Fuck that pathetic attention whore and fuck you too.
No. 231017
>>230989Doesn't putting race first kind of defeat the purpose of the movement though because the intent of being feminist is to treat each other equally or have men treat us equally (despite our differences)?
I totally get your point of how POC women are treated with their race in mind, so they see it as appropriate to treat white women the same way, but it seems to undermine the movement and create racial tension rather than trying to reach a common ground.
No. 231022
>>231019I suggest small boob anon look up saraontheinternet and read about her surgery/watch the videos on Youtube of why she got her implants removed.
Summarily, having your breasts do the talking for you is
not desirable. I'm a B cup and am grateful that guys do not say perverted things to me or stare at my chest. (they still use you up for sex though regardless of chesticles)
It's easier to get a man if you have a pretty face AND large breasts (not just one, speaking from experience and observation) but either thing is not the be all and end all.
If a guy doesn't like you for your breast size he is a pond-dweller, and if he ONLY likes you for your chest size he's also a pond dweller.
Tl;Dr chest size has no positive effect on man-catching and can actually lead to much unwanted harassment. Saying you
want to be harassed makes you sound like a robot. If you have a smol chest an extremely effective way to still lure men is have long luscious hair, which they love nearly as much.
No. 231036
>>231034Iktf. I'm also kind of tired of women who reward men for behaving like normal humans, but at the same time I feel like they would act even less human if women didn't do that.
For example, I remember when peep died and a lot of his fans acted like he was a saint because he said sexual assault was bad one time… Like the bar is that low, huh?
No. 231047
>>231036i think it's more that people will try to make anyone sound amazing as a way of showing respect and mourning.
like the same thing could be said about true crime shows where people will describe the victim as being amazing and an angel because of their bright smile and love of life, when maybe they were just pretty average and the only thing their loved ones could think to big up was that they were nice and had a pretty smile.
No. 231050
>>231017>defeat the purpose of the movement though because the intent of being feminist is to treat each other equally or have men treat us equally Historically, the feminist movement (in north america) wasn't exactly welcoming to non-white women, so I'd say no, not really.
I don't mean to say putting race first is the best way, but it really isn't something to be completely overlooked, even with feminist issues. In my view, being willing to accept the racial perspective helps immensely with building common ground with people. Especially since racial issues haven't exactly been sorted out yet.
It's unfortunate that white people have to feel really guarded about race, because otherwise a lot of white women tend to frame their experiences as the "woman's experience" rather than the "white woman's experience" which rubs a lot of people the wrong way.
I would say the same thing to POC who scream about white feminism as well. It never hurt to gain a bit of outside perspective on something.
No. 231059
>>231050I guess I was referring to the conceptual purpose of the movement as opposed to how the movement was actually executed. You're completely right there though, it's hard to separate the two.
I think a lot of the white guarded-ness comes from the fact that they (we) haven't really been confronted about the fact that being white isn't the default before this point– or if we have been confronted, we weren't really listening because we weren't on the same platform as POCs. I can completely see how that rubs people the wrong way because it assumes that they're a deviation from what is normal/ the default. However, yeah, the POCs screaming about white feminism is bad because white feminists are already a bit put off by the idea of the narrative being focused on intersectionality, so they kind of have to be goaded into it instead of shoved out of it if POC want them as allies.
No. 231093
File: 1519648883253.jpeg (301.63 KB, 1536x2048, D3FCEB05-99EF-4CE6-833B-7269D9…)
So it was one of those can’t sleep must read some stupid shit on the internet and for some reason I read up on overwatch lore (don’t even play the game) and right as you know it I’m in shipping territory.
I find this mercy x reaper fanfic (…) called bitter hands and broken glass. Read the whole 10 chapters through the entire night and through my sleep deprived state I caught these gross autismo feels and i probably 10000 showers to get rid of this sperg. Forgive me anons.
No. 231097
>>231078Restraining order?
And you should try and move with family or friends for a few days. That is a very aggressive move by him and people are cray these days so it may escalate.
I personally think nothing men do is by accident/coincidence, he's obviously nuts enough to harass you so I doubt him being nearby is really coincidence
No. 231103
>>231078Jesus Christ anon, could be he’s just occasionally fucking with you out of spite. Men are sociopaths that won’t leave you the fuck alone. My aunt had this weirdo coming back 3 years after they initially refused to sell a car to him being like “I haven’t forgot about you I’ll kill your family etc”
Fuck these guys, stay safe anon
No. 231113
File: 1519654560280.jpg (515.03 KB, 1507x2000, sp-jack-a-20170201.jpg)
>>231111Above average, as in thin and athletic, but without bulking muscles, which is my biggest problem
No. 231121
>>231118The two sports are only similar in their scoring systems and both have a superficial element around looking glamorous/beautiful.
Both sports engage different muscle groups. Also different body types are going to excel in each respective sport meaning it has a bit more to do with genetics than the workouts they’re doing.
No. 231227
>>231212i don't think it's gross or manly, anon. but the noise can be an issue and i do think you should go to a dr though, snoring is usually a sign of issues with sleep that can be deadly.
>>231223fuck off, she never said anything about her new bf saying shit.
No. 231233
>>231223>>231227Ty both for responding :') Current bf has only mentioned it once, in passing, other than that he just rolls me over if I'm on my back lmfao. I don't even know if it happens every night, I was just thinking about it because I dozed off in the living room with all my roommates last night and couldn't stop wondering if I was snoring afterwards.
I'll ask my doctor about it next time I have an appointment.
No. 231317
>>230940It’s nothing to do with propagating genes and everything to do with adoption being nearly impossible where I live.
What is up with this fucking obsession with telling women with fertility problems they’re selfish for not adopting babies they are not allowed to adopt? Y’all have an agenda or some major issues with projecting. Get help and stop attacking women just becausr you’re an angry robot
No. 231325
>>231136>>231148Gymnasts are basically using every major muscle group, but they are using fast-twitch muscles which tend to be bulkier. Fast twitch muscles tend to be what body builders target when they work out. They aren’t aiming for endurance so much as strength. Gymnasts have more strength in their upper body which leads to this “bulkier” look. They have to be able to support their entire weight using their arms and balance while doing it- engaging their back and core muscles as well. Using your core this much will cause the muscles their to grow as well, adding to a wider look. Women who have bodies with a better capacity for strength are more likely to succeed at this sport.
Ice skaters are doing more of a cardiovascular activity. They are engaging their legs for long periods of time without rest, this engages the central nervous system, raises their heart rate and burns a ton of calories. Which helps lend to a slimmer look. But having a slimmer frame also helps them to do some of the spins/twists they have to perform while moving on ice. Basically the less weight you have on you, the more easily you can maintain your balance, the less likely you will fall. And the less damage when you do!
Okay so that said an ice skater body is going to be more attainable than the body you see with a gymnast in the olympics. Those girls have been training for many hours a day since they were children. It actually halts puberty in many cases so they lack some of the more womanly attributes to their bodies. Basically they are “freak” examples of the female body. I’m sorry to say that because it seems harsh, it’s just not a usual body type. You won’t accidentally end up with a figure like that working out a few hours a week.
Gymnasts used to have bodies like dancers but that was before they were expected to perform these highly technical routines with increasingly difficult tests to their strength.
No. 231328
>>231325I’m typing on my phone I hopes this post makes sense. There should honestly be a fitness thread on here. Girls usually work out with certain body goals in mind, and we can help each other to reach those.
I can make one if you have any additional questions you’d want to discuss!
No. 231355
>>231349Same, I am actually reasonably spiritual (in terms of respecting life/souls existing etc) but star signs and magic rocks are such obvious nonsense? Also phases of the moon-type-shii
Animals may be affected by moons and tides but we are so far from a natural, earth-connected animal it seems like nonsense to suggest that affects us the same way.
For example animals can tell upcoming weather events, hear and smell people from great distances, sense intentions, have internal mapping systems that span oceans-
Humans have none of this. We are very far from mystically attuned. The most mystical thing we do is SOMETIMES have predictive dreams or be able to guess how loved ones are feeling without seeing them. That's it
No. 231357
>>231353Anon it's fine. When I was in an LDR we'd fuck like rabbits everything we saw each other and when we didn't I'd get randomly horny. Married now, sex is a lot less, but still good.
Are you the same if you're in a non-LDR?
No. 231361
>>231357He doesn't have the same sex drive as me though, he doesn't have the drive to fuck nonstop after the first few days, which is why it makes me feel bad
I never had this "problem" with non-LDR, no, and it was the same as you, but the part about fantasizing and masturbating are the same, whether I'm in a relationship or not. Having sex doesn't make the thoughts stop, but it lessens their appeal enough that I don't bother masturbating sometimes. Still annoying though, to waste so much time on something so pointless.
No. 231366
>>231353My ldr relationship ended when I moved to be with my s/o and now I have to wait for soooo long in between sex sessions :|. At first I was relieved because my body needed the recovery time but when I would just be visiting we’d fuck at least once a day. We also sexted pretty much every day when apart, which was for over a year. I really miss the sexual attention and validation that came with that.
Being the thirsty needy partner is such a struggle I feel you anon. Maybe you can talk to your partner about engaging in sexual acts that aren’t necessarily sex? Just making out and heavy petting can be fun and I think it’s very spicy to be left wanting for a while.
No. 231368
>>231325thanks for the info anon, this stuff is always really interesting/ helpful! I'm with
>>231328, the more we can learn about fitness/ discuss it, the easier it is to take initiative
No. 231382
File: 1519712561627.gif (999.46 KB, 500x301, 1488766853789.gif)
Been feeling low lately
I hate having social anxiety so much, no matter how hard I try when talking to a stranger they always seem to lose interest or seek out someone else.
Even in my discord group I can never seem to keep up a conversation, it really bums me out. I used to have a really good friend who'd bring out the best of me and made me really happy,
he moved away a few years ago and when I brought it up again in a chat he doesn't really remember a lot of stuff that happened. It kinda crushed me, but he's probably been through a lot too.
I've been thinking about cutting again.
Hope everyone else is having a better week at least
No. 231394
I'm slowly coming to realise that one of my long friendships is on its way out. I've had this one friend since high school, I'll call her B, whom I'm starting to understand is treating me in an abusive way and has been for some time. On top of being a high-functioning autist I grew up in a house with an abusive father so it's just…really hard for me to figure out when I'm being treated like crap.
She takes advantage of me pretty regularly: "Get me a bottle of water." "Get me a snack." No please or thank you, and if you think she pays me back for any of this, you're wrong. I wouldn't mind the not paying thing if I wasn't a grad student living by myself and paying my own way in life. I like to take care of people, y'know?
But I can't afford that luxury at this point, and meanwhile her mother is paying for her Brooklyn apartment's rent, her bills, her food…her father gives her pocket money…and the kicker is that every time I observe B interacting with either of them, she ranges from dismissive to downright cruel. It hurts me to see that because she's told me herself a billion times that she "pities me" (yes, she says this, and I understand now that she seems to like reminding me) because of my growing up with a father who was constantly calling me ugly and a defective retard and telling me to kill myself. And then she'll say something like, "My father was so much better than yours!" And yet she can't even respect either of her parents when they're helping her out.
I have so many more stories of this chick. It kills me because I don't think she was always this way…? Like I think she used to bathe, or at least she didn't smell like a homeless, and actually had work ethic. And she didn't treat me like shit and insult me all the time and go nuts on me if I didn't answer her text messages straight away (yet she's allowed to go incommunicado for weeks).
Tl;dr friend is turning into skinny Asherbee. What do?
No. 231405
>>231398>>231397Too ashamed to go, I don’t think there’s much they can do anyway. I don’t really have a problem with quitting drinking so that’ll help.
My partner will likely break up with me over this though as I was keeping it from him and it’s a massive breach of trust
No. 231446
File: 1519760175139.jpg (34.17 KB, 640x480, 1495828202973.jpg)
Today after I renewed my vehicle registration some guy in the parking lot of the DMV backed straight into the front of my vehicle
No. 231482
File: 1519775297085.png (17.43 KB, 275x206, BC8F1A44-0FA1-4341-8656-5FB694…)
Feel like killing myself. Nice.
No. 231494
>>231097His verbally accosting me is not a crime and thus does not qualify for an Emergency Protective Order. In this jurisdiction, EPOs are issued when a crime has occured at the request of the responding police officer.
I live in a neighborhood of high crime. The local news reports a violent assault involving weapons at least once a week. I regularly see blood on the sidewalk. He probably feels empowered in his behavior by this atmosphere.
Despite feeling unsafe and anxious to the point of not having left my building since the incident, I will have to put myself in danger in order to have enough evidence to pursue legal action.
No. 231649
File: 1519876750241.jpg (70.24 KB, 300x444, 1516135275021.jpg)
>tfw retaking a personality assessment for a job that requires you stare at a screen for 8-12 hours straight
>previous attempt, which i failed miserably, will still be kept in consideration during hiring process
I could still retake the test and hope that whoever reviews my application overlooks the obvious gap but holy hell do I hate the fact that I have to take such a test and lie in order to be considered for anything.
No. 231654
>>229086The explanation given to me long ago is that it's a smokescreen issue. There isn't any actual legislation that can stop it at this point, any actual legislation gets undone by the next administration, and is merely there as a scapegoat just like violent video games were in the 90's.
I don't really care about it because I think the far more important issue everyone overlooks is the fact we have no mental health care in our country. Any and all mental health care programs were torn down with the Reagan administration.
No. 231655
>>231653i mean, that's what those personality tests are for. to weed out the people who actually think answering "no, i hate working with people," "no, i have no goals in life," etc. is acceptable haha.
personally i'd cut my losses and apply for something else.
No. 231659
Wish I was closer to the opportunities I want. It's looking pretty fucking expensive to relocate for what is more a pipedream.
>>231654>>231656Not the other anon, but I'm probably one of those "leftists who want to steal our guns!!!!" that gun owners get scared about and wish we could just get rid of them. But realistically, I've resigned myself to just wanting tighter control on individual guns and their sales, and hoping the lack-of-mental-healthcare argument becomes a jumping platform for universal healthcare.
No. 231714
>>231711Don't you remember, it was not a rape, it was a totally accidental baton slip-up, kek.
Honestly, I just can't understand how rape would be a fair retribution for anything and hell, I'm myself white and not a SJW at all.
I would back away from frequenting this person, she's clearly racist.
No. 231717
>>231714The first semester is over now and we don't have any classes anymore in university because of internships so it has been a while since I saw her, so good for me. We know each other because of mutual friends in uni so I'll have to see her from time to time but I can avoid her easily now.
>>231713>>231715Given all the stories I heard about cops all over the world I feel like shitty cops who don't want to do their job and who take advantage of people is a pretty universal concept tbh.
No. 231721
>>231677Credit card debt from when I was younger, miss one payment and couldn't keep up
I've been thinking about that but I'm not too sure
No. 231723
File: 1519924580960.jpg (240.14 KB, 1200x900, Yy8ejQq.jpg)
There's this neet weeb guy online who added me on discord back in april and I'm really sick of him. The thing is, I already deleted him once but he came crawling back just to ask me why I deleted him and he went on to lecture me about how I don't give a shit about other people's feelings since I ghost people. I don't feel like what we had was strong at all in the first place and he never showed that he really cared about me but I decided to have him back on my friends list after he said he did care about me and considered me a friend just because he "shared personal stuff" with me about his anxiety and mommy issues so I was feeling bad for deleting him. I'm now regretting my decision taking him back.
He claims to care about me but forgot about my birthday and excused it as a lot of his friends birthdays were that month and I was too polite not to say anything about it but when his birthday rolled around, he brought it up and I told him happy birthday. Was planning to give him a gift and everything but I figured he wasn't really deserving of it. For about half a year, there was a point where he would ignore me all day despite being online and only talk to me right before he went to bed because of his anxiety while I comforted him and told him everything was going to be okay and would only sort of talk to me during the day if I messaged him first.
He never attempts to make decent conversation and is extremely fucking boring. He's so autistic that he ALWAYS starts convos by sending me a random youtube video or random imgur photo with no context and it's kinda like… ok? I don't want to talk about internet shit every single time, the topic leads no room for real bonding. If he's not sending me obscure 400 view youtube videos of the most random pointless unfunny shit, he's talking about japan. all. the. time. I want someone who will talk to me about their day or themselves like a normal person (which i know i cant get from him because hes a neet who isnt doing shit with his life) or if we're not talking about each other, then play vidya with me and we can meme out and act retarded then which is a lot better than just sending links back and forth in a chat. I don't even know why we haven't played video games together yet, I talked about it with him multiple times and nothing came of it yet I know he plays with his guy friends. I also feel like I have nothing in common with him and don't really know what he likes besides anime which I grew out of when I was 12 so it's no longer my thing and he never asks me about my interests so why bother. I want a serious friendship, feel like I'm more mature than he is, and know what I want but was just guilt tripped into taking his stupid ass back. I don't see how he can claim we're good enough friends for him to be upset about losing me, maybe because I showed him compassion and understanding while he doesn't reciprocate the same thing for me. I've had much better chemistry with other guys I've talked to online who were really entertaining but this guy, wew lad.
I want you gals to be honest and lay it down on me, am I a picky bitch or is this just someone I'm not compatible being friends with? I seriously want to delete him for good this time.
No. 231728
File: 1519926071125.jpg (132.18 KB, 750x738, 4787474.jpg)
>>231723just delete him, i think he sees you as potential gf thats why he locks you out of his autism time i.e. gaming with male friends. he basically gf zoned you so get out and find yourself someone cooler. theres plenty of neets in the sea bud.
No. 231740
>>231728He told me he would never go out with someone online but who knows, he could've just been saying that because every guy I've talked to online says that now for edgy points. He also belittled me when we were talking about height when I first met him and I told him how tall I was and he randomly responded with "shame. I like x type of girls" instead even though no one fucking asked and is one of those autistic guys who keeps saying he doesn't like "3D" girls, gag. He also lives all the way in northern europe and I'm canadian so it's not like we were going to meet up any time except he says his parents want to move to canada so he might actually be leaving europe some time.
Could you elaborate him leaving me out of gaming with him just because I could be potential gf material? Why can't I just be autistic with him regardless? Sorry if that's a dumb question.
>>231734No idea who that is.
No. 231756
>>231754I have a friend like this. Every two months or so she messages me to say she’s in love and it’s real this time. It’s always some girl on tumblr or a guy from Facebook she’s never even met irl and as soon as they send a flirty message she’s obsessed and then I’m stuck talking her down again and again when the crush isn’t down to move to California with her and live happily ever after.
I told her that maybe she’s just infatuated and she ignored me for weeks and only ever wants to talk when she’s having a crisis.
I gave up and started ignoring her cause I couldn’t stand the drain. She’s forever diagnosing her former crushes with BPD and ignoring her own raging case of it.
Dump the friend anon.
No. 231757
>>231756She's a good friend, just. She's like ten years older and I still keep mopping up her spills. Like, grow up, hun.
Sorry to hear about your friend, though. Seems like a selfish person.
No. 231772
>>231767Find a new outlet for feeling sad. Overeating isn’t making you feel better clearly, so what does?
Are you into art or games or literature? Are you eating nutritious food and drinking water? Cause not doing those can lead to lower moods which feeds the binge cycle.
No. 231777
>>231767I can only talk about what I personally found helpful in changing this cycle, apart from of course looking into whether depression or some other mental illness can play into it by talking to a professional about it. That can always be a good place to start.
First of all, I decided that I don't owe looking good to anyone, but I should be clean and smell nice, so investing in some soaps, perfumes and things that made me feel fresh and clean was my first start.
If you're not ready to love your body as it is, you don't have to. I still have days where I decide I'm not going to look at myself in the mirror unless I absolutely must (like applying makeup or so). I also rarely feel like I look good in anything, so I cope with this by wearing mostly black (or whatever colour that makes you comfortable), maybe add a scarf or jacket in a neutral colour if you need variation, and always make sure the clothes never cling too tightly or seem loose and baggy.
Food was by far the hardest part for me to change, and it was a one step forward - two steps back cycle for me until I slowly began to adjust small things here and there. Slowly changing one unhealthy option with a healthier one, while keeping in mind that food is never the enemy. I learned how nice it felt to not feel bloated and heavy after binging, but rather full and satisfied from a nice and healthy meal.
Imagine going to the grocery store and walking to the shelves where you usually get your binge-food from, and not crave any of it. You don't think of it as bad or anything, but your body now craves something else. It's very freeing, and for me it was a huge sign that I was moving forwards.
Drink enough water. Find some hobbies to distract you like other anon suggested. If you relapse, know that it's normal and try not to beat yourself up about it.
And you may not see the changes in your looks, but others will. I recently travelled to see my family after being gone almost a year living away studying, and I got comments on how I've lost weight and look both happier and healthier, despite not thinking that my reflection had changed since I began breaking out of the cycle.
I hope this helps even a bit.
No. 231830
File: 1519983734575.png (37.08 KB, 800x600, 4LwHFtM.png)
I got roofied the other night. I suddenly could not walk properly, I could not breath and I kept on talking nonsense. I barely remember anything. I got my friend to call an ambulance and I spent the night at a hospital, they wrote it down as a panic attack. I've been diagnosed with other things and all psychiatrists I have seen have said I do not have any panic disorders, anxiety etc. It would be impossible for me to have them based on years of seeing a psychiatrist.
The hospital did not take a toxicology report as they thought it was a panic attack. I called them today, as yesterday I could barely walk and my whole body hurt and felt like I had electric shocks and I disassociated. I've never had such bad nausea. They said it is possible I had an alcohol induced panic attack or that I got roofied, the nurse said that if I do not get any panic attacks in the future it's quite clear I got roofied. I am still two days later lethargic, I barely have any energy and my brain is foggy.
I read up on symptoms and It sounds exactly like the effects of ketamine and alcohol.
No. 231831
>>231830I'm sorry anon. Do you think authorities can investigate?
Fuck dude I hope you're ok
No. 231832
I miss high school. It was so easy for me to make friends,I knew everyone, always had someone to hang out with, people came up to me to talk etc. People always say that university is a step up from high school, but for me it has been horrible. I have zero friends here, and its not like there area bunch of different courses where you only see eachother a few times a week. No it is one class where we see eachother every day, and it is a fairly small class.
I feel very excluded. People walk away from me, turn around if I'm there, never say hi to me, walk past me on the way to uni, invite everyone to hang out except me etc. I though shit like that ended in elementary school, but obviously not. Its not like I'm a super awkward idiot, I easily make friends outside of university.
I am still in contact with my high school friends, so it isn't like I am completely friendless. But it would be nice to have someone to talk to the 5 days a week I am here.
No. 231835
>>231832I'm in the same situation; why is it so goddamn hard to make friends in uni?! I was never very popular, but at least i had a set group of friends, but now…?
I'm always in classes with many different people, so even if i manage to chat with somebody, chances are high i'll never see that person again. It feels so awful to see everybody being happy with your friends and you being all alone
No. 231838
>>231830I've OD'd on ketamine and used to use it quite a bit. Doesn't sound like ket at all. The effect of someone slipping anything into your drink shouldn't last for days. Also taken orally, it acts more as a sedative than as a dissociate.
>>231830>disassociatedYou sure you even dissociated? People who can't spell the word are always full of shit and don't know what the symptom really entails especially since you say you've never had psychological issues before. Spacing out isn't dissociating. Not being a dick, just telling it like it is.
No. 231843
>>231838Mixed with alcohol the symptoms are exactly the same as Ketamine has. I went to the police just after I wrote that, and explained what happened. They took tests and said chances are that it won't show anything anymore, but the initial test agreed on me having been drugged. They also suspect ketamine, and I filed a police report. The lab will get back with exact results around monday they said.
Yes, you are being a dick who has no clue what they are on about. Since even police agreed that it was ket. Just because you are an anarcho narco does not make you some holy grail of drugs. Remember that mixed with alcohol isn't the same as re-creational use. You are full of shit and stop going off at random people having gone through traumatic shit. You don't know what it's like to realise that someone somewhere was planning to rape you and by luck you got away.
Fuck you.
No. 231858
>>231843>>231838The effects of drugging can last for days. I was spiked before when I was younger, and it was still going on 12 hours later. I can also be mildly "drunk" for days after heavy drinking. Every body is different. Being drugged
is scary, luckily I was in denial that I'd been drugged and thought not being able to walk, extreme dizziness and paralysis was a normal symptom of drinking like 4 mixed drinks. God bless denial. I know who did it too since they were bought by someone else
No. 231866
I absolutely hate how passive agressive my best friend is. Instead of telling me what's her problem with me or if I did something that hurt her, she waits until one or two days have passed and comments about it like ''ugh I was so pissed with you'' but at the same time she's all ''it doesn't matter anymore''.
Bitch, we're almost 24, not 13 years old. If you have a problem with me, you should tell me in first place so I can explain myself or at least try to change it.
Another thing that pisses me off recently is how every single one of my friends try to act all ''I don't need anybody in my life, I wouldn't be in a stable relationship because I think we're too young for it rn''. Sure, we can't know what's going to happen in the future but me, being the only one in a serious relationship for more than three years now, I feel kind of…Rejected by them?
I know it sounds silly but they're the kind of people who are talking about moving together with their SO or having kids in the next five years…Until their relationship don't work anymore and then they start to talk from their bitterness and trying to hide it with all this ''I'm better than you because I'm single''.
I wish I could tell them of happy I am with my life actually but they make me feel (in a passive agressive way, of course) that I'm bragging, so I keep it to myself and then they complain because ''I don't tell them'' anything about my relationship. Ugggh
No. 231886
File: 1520018871158.png (180.27 KB, 750x1334, 2DA2F051-F510-4540-AC67-D34902…)
Don’t really know if this fits here, but I saw it under a tweet. What the fuck???
No. 231914
File: 1520027657765.jpg (44.13 KB, 421x292, 1516576357387.jpg)
Every single day of my life gets worse and worse.
Since starting college, my grades have dropped significantly because I have NO fucking clue what they're teaching me about. At this point I'm failing every class, mostly because I'm a retard and a failure.
Instead of dealing with my terrible grades and stress responsibly, I've turned to alcohol and just drink until I black out when I feel bad.
I have no friends and I'm under such immense stress when I'm sober that I don't know what to do anymore.
I lock myself in my room almost constantly besides class and refuse to go outside any other time. I look sickly pale and am reaching skeleton-levels of thinness. My clothes I once loved to wear are now hanging off of me and it looks horrible, so I don't even have cute dresses to look forward to anymore.
Maybe I could've handled all of this better but me, being a retard, turned to alcohol.. And it's not like I have buddies to drink with. I just sit in my room in the dark and drink and sob.
I just want to run away and drop out but my family would shun me if I didn't stay in school. I'm just trapped it feels like.
I haven't been this depressed and even suicidal (although I could never actually kill myself) since middle school. I feel like there's no point in trying to better myself anymore. I guess I'll just drink myself to death.
No. 231918
>>231767If you want a fast diet to lose tons of weight try low carb diet. Maybe it will give you a motivation and lift your spirits as well.
>>231914>when you want to drown your sorrows in alcohol but you realize they are pretty good swimmersI identify with lots of the stuff you write and I hope you will one day see the light at the end of the tunnel. Life is shit for many people but if you give up you might miss many nice things.
No. 231935
>>231923I would say if you adjust your view of love away from movie romance to real life- compassion, consideration, friendship- it is possible for anyone. I don't believe super intense romantic love can last in real life for more than a few weeks, it is just a form of lust. I also think that to have an ideal to be adored by another, and require adoration to be happy, is a really crazy expectation we put on ourselves. Why do we need someone to adore us to know we are valuable? We are innately valuable in our spirit, goodness, kindness, ideas and other traits we offer the world.
9 years is a long time. Have you found anything inspiring online that could motivate you towards positive change? It is very easy to start up a business online and it is a great time to do it right now, when there are mostly
consumers and not a lot of competition. So that's something you can use as a passion project.
Source: Me IRL, I have managed to move away from love idealization to creating a business and it was a great choice for me. We are so much more than one (usually temporary) relationship. We are powerful and important just as ourselves.
No. 231955
>>231942It's not extreme at all. Nobody should spend their lives
expecting to be adored by someone (especially if you take a gander at the man-hating thread - we shouldn't put emotional expectations on people who have significantly less capacity for that form of emotion in the first place)
You can have a life which is loving without having someone worship at your feet, adore your every syllable, or whatever else. It's selfish and narcissistic for "be adored" to be on the wish list, and actually causes so much heartache for people.
Beauty is all around us, nature, seas, waterfalls, the night sky, mountains, wild animals, flowers, art, music, dance, architecture, when people group together to enjoy an event, kindness from a stranger.
There's so much more to life than the incredibly narrow view
be adored by one person and it's an incredibly dangerous thing to strive for, and actually results in poor mental health and misery for both men and women. It is extreme to demand adoration from any one human. It takes an emotional toll on them. It is a job in itself. We can spread love further than just one person by utilizing compassion and empathy for others. We should aim bigger.
No. 231970
>>231927I live with my parents but I pay rent, I don't have to though. Currently, I'm working on my agoraphobia. I told myself this year I have to change that.
>>231935Thanks, anon! It's truly motivating what you say. I guess my longing for true love is just because I'm really lonely at the moment and hearing a friendly voice probably
triggered something. The voice on the phone felt like sunshine and for a moment I felt like I was a normal functional being.
I think I will follow your example and focus on creating instead of consuming. You're kind of a person that I wish I was and with a mindset that I wish I had from the start.
You have no idea how much you motivated me to fix my life now. Thank you!
No. 231972
>>231955aww anon, I completely agree on that. When you think about how much life we are wasting on crushing, lusting, looking for a partner, wasting time on wrong people, getting heart broken, it's actually crazy. Some people fixate on finding love so much, it's making them depressed and miserable, it's their only main goal.
I have a friend who got dumped and she didn't have any break after that, she immediately crushed on someone… got rejected, crushed again… I told her to give up for a while, stop sacrificing herself for dudes and maybe concentrate on growing as a person for a bit. No anon, you wouldn't get it, she's
needs to be loved.
I find it sad and honestly, it makes me hesitant and uncertain about falling in love. Like ew, I don't want to lose myself like that…
No. 231982
My family is extremely emotionally abusive and I can’t handle it anymore. I wish I had someone I could go stay with, or some shelter I could go to temporarily. Some kind of program to help me be independent away from my family, because they just drain me of my money and happiness and then leave me alone until they need something else, making sure to endlessly neg me and criticize everything I say or do in the mean time. I beg her for help with things like making my car payments when I’m short on money, and she’ll spend a solid week promising to help me pay it only to turn around the day before my payment is due and tell me it’s my responsibility. She’s constantly making promises I know she has absolutely no intention to keep. She says anything to make people think she’s a loving, caring mother who is doing everything she can for me, yet every time I ask her for help she has to hold it over my head like it makes her bigger or more powerful or something. My mom claims she loves me but…. fuck. I don’t know. I feel so burned out on her bullshit that she doesn’t feel like my mother anymore.
I stated reaching out to other family member states to see if I could stay with someone, and she went behind me and “rekindled” all her connections to the family I reached out to to tell them about how terrible my mental problems are and how hard she’s struggling to pay my bills for me (she isn’t), put gas in my car (which she only does when I’m about to be empty bc she treats me like her errand runner, retching her fast food and groceries and shit at all hours of the day), and keep me happy (she actively shits on me when I’m anything but silent and avoiding her). She feeds them her bullshit and tells them I’m a lazy slob who doesn’t clean my bathroom (lie), do my own laundry until I’m out of clothes (which does happen when I’m very depressed sometimes but like, they’re not her clothes? And I still wash them?), how I don’t do dishes or help out (lie and lie), and the list goes on. My mom basically blacklisted me from my family and ruined my reputation with my own family to keep me under her wing.
I don’t know what’s to do. I’m 25, but I have literally no money and a huge Pokémon of debt my mom forced me into (bought her a $500 drive on credit she swore she’d pay me for, as well as a $400 mattress also on credit for my brother because he didn’t have a bed, literally never saw a dollar of either one. Mom tells the family she bought the stove and mattress. I can only seem to get crappy part time jobs that will only give me less than 35 hours a week, and I just…. I don’t know how people survive? How they just get help from people? It’s like every time I ask for help someonenlooks at me like I’m a liar and a thief trying to con then, but the reality is I’m drowning as I feel like my pith is gonna pass me by while I’m trapped here, too broke to even go hang out with my friends and too damaged from being gaslit eveybdu to have any healthy relationships. My mom is so fucked up, but she’s so hands off abusive that I can’t qualify for any shelters in the city because she and my brother aren’t actually hitting me, they’re just triggering my emotional issues to manipulate me whenever they want something.
I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get out of this… I’ve thought about sugaring to get out, but I’m ugly and I don’t know if I’d be able to even go through with it. I don’t know what healthy relationships with men are like, and my mom best it into my head that all men will rape any unaccompanied female out without permission or a reason. She’s got me terrified to go out in public unless it’s to quickly go from point A to point B and right back with no side stops. I always feel so tightly wound and I don’t ever sleep more than 4 hours a night. I have permanent eye bags now, my face is starting to look old and I can feel the life and will to live leaving me. I stopped cutting, but now I think I’m accidentally becoming anorexic because I’m sick of being barked at for “eating everything” when my mom won’t buy shit for groceries but snacks like hot dogs and chips that don’t last.
I don’t know what to do… I’m so tired of reaching out for help and only getting sympathy and nice words, and more empty promises. I need to get out, but I still need help. What do I do, guys? I can’t just pack up my car and leave, I have nowhere to o and literally $16 to my name.
No. 231983
>>231982I’m sorry for all those typos but I’ve given up on going back to fix my autofuck changing real words to nonsense bullshit.
>Pokémon should be “pile” of debt>bought her a $500 “oven” >my pith should be “my youth” >too damaged by being gaslight by everybody Again, sorry. I’m on my phone and it’s a 5S so it doesnthings I don’t even want it to do since apple fucked with it.
No. 231995
>>231982I'm so sorry you're going through this anon. My mom is an emotionally abusive gaslighter too, and it took me until the age of 24/25 to realise. Luckily for me she kicked me out when I was 17 - a massive mistake on her behalf as it taught me I could survive on my own. Unluckily her treatment of me up until then made me seriously mentally ill and so I spent the next 5 or so years addicted to drugs, prostituting, and generally making crappy life choices. Thankfully I finally decided enough was enough and began to sort my shit out properly… now I'm married with kids, college-educated and own a home.
You can break away from them. You just have to be prepared to be drastic. Stop doing shit for them, whether that be fetching groceries or helping out at home beyond cleaning up after yourself. Try and get 2 jobs that work around each other. Call your debtors and reduce your payments to minimum if possible. Buy super-cheap but super-filling food to keep you going for now; pasta and tinned foods are great for this, buy fruit and veg as and when you need it then eat it all in one go. Make a strict budget and stick to it religiously, so you can start saving to get the fuck out of there. Seriously, look at moving state to somewhere you can afford to rent a room and get a full-time job. When you're ready to leave, sell/take the shit YOU bought - the mattress and the oven. They can't bring legal action against you for it, because those items are legally yours.
I know it sounds harsh, but all that got me away from her was to stop caring that she was my mom. Like, you have to face the problem head-on with a real "fuck it" attitude… the only alternative is that you stay there getting more and more miserable.
As for interpersonal relationships, just don't for a while. Get yourself settled then come back to that problem later. But just as a quick response to what you've said: you're way more likely to be raped by someone you know than a stranger on the street, so in comparison being raped by "men outside" is pretty rare (in Western countries anyway, idk about other places). Having a healthy relationship with a man might take a few painful mistakes with some shitty men, but I promise you it is possible. As I said though, deal with the immediately important things and sort that out later.
You're going to have to be prepared to work your ass off, be hurt and angry, struggle, sleep in your fucking car, have huge arguments. It's not easy to do this when it's family, especially when you don't have loads of money. But if you can do it - and I hope you can - it's so worth it. You will be happy one day anon. I'm rooting for you… (and I'm sorry this is just words. If I could give you $1000 I really would.)
No. 232026
>>232009What I don't understand is why people speak as if Facebook is the entire internet. Digital spaces aren't like physical spaces, you don't need to demolish Facebook to make room for something else.
Also - Facebook is a private platform, they have every right to adjust their algorithms and show 99% ads and 1% content if they want to. They don't owe anyone a neutral platform, they're offering a service and you're accepting it, all bullshit included. Don't like the bullshit, don't subscribe to it.
I think what annoys me most though is how these complaints always allude to the good ol' days of facebook-free internet, conveniently forgetting that back then there weren't as many people online so they wouldn't be getting traffic anyway. The people from back then are still here, and many do veggie outside social media.
Idk, I was mad at Facebook when I first read it but now I'm more annoyed at the people who seem to think they're entitled to Facebook's audience in order to profit, but then go around and complain about Facebook making money off its users. Pot calling the kettle etc.
No. 232114
Anons, how would you feel if a guy you really really liked was flirting with you and sexting you, and literally telling you he would have sex with you, then the next day said the flirting was just sarcasm, and texting "WHAT MADE YOU THINK I WANTED TO HOOK UP WITH YOU". Is it dramatic to call that emotionally abusive? Or emotionally manipulative or something? Sometimes it's difficult to see things exactly as they are. I called him out for gaslighting even, kind of, actually I didn't even outright say YOU'RE GASLIGHTING ME, I just said something like "this is how the last guy I was seeing was manipulative, he would say things are one thing when in reality they were different and that's gaslighting" but he got so mad and took offense to it. I have such a hard time now with trusting people, seeing things as they are, and second guessing myself. I always think I'm the crazy one.
No. 232155
>>232057Okay I am not quite sure what you are trying to say but…
He's afraid of you leaving the nest, don't worry he will get over it. He wants you to become independent but is afraid, that's normal for parents to do, it's a sign that he cared for you deeply and is hovering over in order to try to protect you.
>>232114Drop him, he sounds like there is something major wrong with him (like having a girlfriend that he's trying to cheat on, testing can he pull chicks etc…). That is not how a healthy adult acts.
No. 232183
>>232180First of all, you're not a fool, you just were trying to do the right thing for your friend, which is admirable because she should feel grateful towards you.
I don't know if your boyfriend ever acted as he did last weekend but it's kind of surprising how he ''let'' her put his dick in her mouth how…That does even happen? I mean, you know she was being filtry and even if he was drunk and she was high, there's something really strange there. For what you're telling, it seems as if your 'friend' is trying to make you believe your boyfriend forced her, when actually she was…Maybe trying to make a move on him all night long? What I'm trying to say it's that I don't think your boyfriend forced her but he did let her do what she wanted to do…Maybe he regretted it inmediately but that doesn't mean a thing when it kind of happened anyway, at least it wouldn't if I was you.
Keep in mind what you're saying about her, you know she's a mess and that she obviously has problems, she lies about calling people on the phone so I'm almost sure she's lying about your boyfriend raping her…I send you my biggest hug anon, I'm sure it must be hard for you right now.
Don't feel stupid because you were just trying to do the best thing, mean people will be mean no matter what.
No. 232213
File: 1520238508988.gif (334.16 KB, 454x388, IaLG69W.gif)
repost cuz I put it in the wrong thread
Recently my roommate ended up getting a girlfriend, and while I'm all happy for him he decided to bring something up to my husband and I(We all 3 live in the same place together).
He said about since he's dating now how he wants to bring his gf over. Okay, that's fine just let us know when you do, then he brings up he's going to have her in his room, if we can go stay at someone elses house when he does(he didn't say everytime) so he and her can fuck, and it would be better to not have us home during her being there. This doesn't work with us at all because 1, my husbands work schedule varies and doesn't allow for us to ever go stay anywhere, 2 if he expects us to leave the house every time he wants to fuck then he is severely wrong, 3 ever hear of playing music to hide noises?? I mean my husband and I don't kick him out when we want to fuck, we just keep the noise level down. I told our roommate if he tells us prior we can try and leave the house for a few hours to go run errands but that's it.
Anyone ever deal with this in a respectful manner? I understand giving someone space if they have their partner over but like, I pay rent here too, we all live here and I don't have to leave my own home just for that. There's ways to get around that part of life without disturbing people.
No. 232216
>>232213> I understand giving someone space if they have their partner over but like, I pay rent here too, we all live here and I don't have to leave my own home just for that. There's ways to get around that part of life without disturbing people.Just word it to him exactly like this. Suggest ways he can mask the sound or whatever. Say you guys never kick him out when you fuck.
If they're still that adverse then it's kind of weird tbh.
No. 232230
>>232180My heart hurts reading this. Please dump that pos friend immediately from your life. They are toxic as hell.
Now about your boyfriend, you should never have to worry that you did something ‘wrong’ to enable them to cheat. People just shouldn’t cheat in relationships. If they do, it’s on them 100%. Now since nothing is ever black and white, it’s up to you if you want to forgive him. But just know you deserve better than what these people are doing to you.
No. 232242
>>232213Is it his first serious gf or what? It strucks me as a totally unreasonable request from someone who never had to deal with the reality of a relationship before (ie. the world not stopping every time you fuck your SO).
I would laugh in his face and tell him to suck it up and keep it down.
No. 232249
>Every time friend gets a guy’s attention she changes her personality, principles and morals completely. Is super prudish, conservative and judgmental with us but will do the exact opposite of what she preaches if she gets male attention out of it.
>Turns into a complete hypocrite with no logical thinking. E.g Called us slutty for wearing shorts or skirts and won’t wear them herself because of it, but revealed she fucked a rando dude because she thought he might wanna be her boyfriend.
>Lies her ass off constantly to try and make her behaviour fit her “morals”. She calls out friends for sleeping with their boyfriends but when she’s fucking guys from tinder she does some serious mental gymnastics to explain why it’s different.
>Lets her boyfriends treat her like shit but will defend them to the death. meanwhile, she cuts off friends of ours for minor infractions or things that offend her fake principles.
>Literally just likes any guy that shows an interest in her. She doesn’t actually need to know or be attracted to a guy. Just getting male attention is enough to form a relationship for her. Cannot say no to men at all.
>Puts men before everyone else in her life. She wouldn’t get up early to go to the doctor’s appointment with a mutual friend who thought she found a lump but if a guy she hasn’t spoken to in years hits her up in the early hours of the morning, she’s ready to go. When we were camping she wouldn’t share drinking water with us “in case she caught something” (not a big deal, whatever) but she lets dudes raw her and has caught STDs.
>She plays the naïve, innocent victim CONSTANTLY. With us, with her exes, with strangers.
It's so fucking annoying because we have a large and differing group of friends so we're not gonna judge her if she wants to get dick since we already have friends like that. Plus we’re adults so nobody cares about her sex life that much. It’s the hypocrisy and the lies. It’s not even like her principles evolved and changed as she grew older, she actually has two completely different sets of standards of behaviour.
Sorry for the rant, does anybody have any ideas how to deal with this shit?
No. 232253
>>232180What the fuck? Never speak to the girl again and dump your boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend are seriously involved - house and kid - but if he ever had his cock in another girl’s mouth it would be over. Don’t waste more of your life on someone who didn’t even care enough about you to make damn sure his dick stayed in his pants.
>>232249Uh, stop being her friend? Some people only learn once they lose all their decent nice friends and only have friends that are exactly like themselves…
No. 232255
>>232253>stop being her friendI feel stupidly guilty about this. I know it'd probably be the best option for me but I feel bad "abandoning" her. We've been friends since we were children and she is genuinely stupid when it comes to men - to the point we've had to actually explain how she is contracting STDs and why a man that's drunk every day is bad for her. Her hypocrisy drives me mad, but her lack of sense makes me worry about her.
Have you ever done it? Did you tell them you wanted to break off the friendship or did you just fade out?
No. 232276
>>232255AYRT. You sound lovely anon but you can’t take responsibility for other people forever, and while you are she will never learn to do it for herself. Honestly, by cutting her loose you will do both of you a favour.
Yeah I have, many times - I used to be a drug addict so had many toxic friends. Mostly I would just fade out and they just moved on to more enablers, on a few occasions they challenged me and I had to be upfront. Thankfully people like that will usually rage-block you as a result and you don’t have to think about it anymore.
No. 232283
>>232216>>232222Thanks, if it gets brought up again I'll say that to him. I mean I think he just wanted some peace of mind to be alone when he does it without anyone home, which I get for the first time but… not every single time.
>>232242Lol, it's his first gf since high school if I remember correctly snd hes in his mid 20s. That's exactly how I feel, if we just so happen to be gone and he invites her sure whatever but we aren't going to rework our schedule just so he can have the house to himself to fuck. I was looking up articles about this "sexiled" thing. Idk, he acts like such a high schooler like oh no gunna get caught by my parents!! Looking back the whole conversation just makes me laugh.
Thanks guys, I'll have to write down a few things I want to say the next time it gets brought up.
No. 232286
>>232282i think kpop has that earworm quality about it that people love. high production value, catchy tunes, crazy videos. also south korea sexualizes all of their kpop artists so even people who aren't full on yellow fever like the look of the artists.
i'm not saying it's good by any means, but it is well marketed.
No. 232291
>>232288"The production of the 5th album of band X is shitty blah blah"
vs.
"He might still need to practice singing a bit more, but he's got such a babyface and btw have you seen his abs teehee"
Doesn't fit that well together in my opinion… nothing to do with me disliking kpop, it's just big old hypocracy
No. 232316
>>232315I'd rather be a loser than be dead.
Speaking as someone who objectively turned out to be one, I live for the good moments and found little things to enjoy.
I just don't want to be dead, even if there's periods in my life when I wish I were. I recognize them as phases, and every time I recover a little and things get a bit better.
Idk what to tell you anon if you haven't found a way to cope.
No. 232319
>>232316Same.
Every day will be shitty with 90% probability but if one of those good days comes along it is totally worth it to be alive. Sometimes the small things in life are enough to brighten your day and feel good once in a while again.
>>232315I know one guy from town. Until age 24 he was pretty much an unemployed drug addict and good for nothing. Saw him recently again on the train ride home. We grew up as neighbor kids and reminisced about old times again. After losing many years he finally got a job and apparently he is doing quite well. You can see that years of drug abuse did not do him well but he is optimistic. After 24 bad years he wants to have 24 good years now. I found that inspiring and I hope you take it as a small inspiration as well.
No. 232325
>>232316I don't know what to say to myself either. There are no "little moments" or good days for me. Everyday rolls into the next and my apathy and anhedonia makes it impossible to feel or enjoy anything. I've been on every SSRI known to man, I've changed my environment, I've had boyfriends and I have been single, but nothing changes. These thoughts and feelings are always there and always crawl back one way or another.
The only time I get peace is when I smoke weed or when I do enough psilocybin that I reset my own perceptions of myself and society. But these feelings and thoughts never last beyond the trip and no one can be high forever.
I don't know why I feel such a strong urge to "be something or someone" or to even be successful. Objectively I know there is more to life, but looking at the fact I've never had a rewarding relationship, romantic or otherwise, have absolutely no assets or achievements in my life must say something.
>>232319That is inspiring. But I was never a "bad kid" nor an addict, nor did I have behavioural or physical problems. I've just been alone and wanted to die for the majority of my life and I don't see that changing, nor will getting a partner make any difference.
Ha, when I reread what I wrote, I sound like such a miserable, whiny sack of shit.
Not everyone makes it, I think people are afraid of acknowledging this.
No. 232328
>>232325>I've had boyfriends and I have been single, but nothing changes>I've never had a rewarding relationship, romantic or otherwiseAre you really judging your worth on your relationships in 2018? Like not 1818? You don't need a man to achieve anything in this life.
And all the guys are either fuckbois or mummy's boys that want you to pay for them and baby them. If you can't please a fuccboi (nobody can except maybe a free prostitute) or a mummy's boy (get your bank account drained for the pleasure) that is no reflection on you.
Wanting to achieve something is
normal and good and I'm sure you are born with a saleable skill that means you can. Everyone has some skills, we are descendents of people who originated in a trade/bartering/farming society. Skill is in your DNA. You have to find it
No. 232331
File: 1520299731226.jpg (37.11 KB, 600x474, Cel06BhWQAAtuKB.jpg)
I miss my best friend so much but I feel like our friendship is becoming more and more one-sided.
A little bit of background info: she lives in North America and I in the South; so timezones aren't that extreme.
I'm just tired of being alone and basically talking with myself for a week or more straight. Then she appears, say a quick hi or vent a little, then she does the same thing all over again - doesn't answer my messages for days, I basically text her everyday (I send memes and videos that I think she'll like, talk about my day, pics of my pets etc.).
Inb4 "maybe she's busy or something!", this has been going for 3 times or more now. I don't know if I'm being selfish and demanding. I just want to be a good friend because she's a really great girl and deserves it, so I don't know how to act sometimes.
We used to talk every day for hours. Now she vanishes randomly and I don't know what to do. I'm a NEET until august and she's my only friend. It sucks. Wish we weren't so far apart.
No. 232337
>>232325anon, try not to base your worth on things you can not control.
Basically, relationships (platonic&romantic), jobs, "good luck", environment, even achievements. Basing your worth based on those things will never truly help you feel any better. The thing is, sometimes you can have something that seems great to one person - but to you it could be better. Because you're probably always looking at what others have and done and think you can't compare. You need to start giving yourself daily affirmations. It sounds corny, but it really helps. Look at where you are in your life right now, it may not be where you want to be… but look at the little things. Look at yourself in the mirror and come up with one compliment a day. When you get out of bed and make yourself a meal instead of ordering in - feel proud and congratulate yourself. Be as active as you can, and focus on the things YOU can control - which is your mind and thoughts.
Give yourself a goal, maybe it's to get better at a certain skill - then practice everyday at it, or make steps every chance you get to bring yourself closer to that goal.
Really anon, you say you have nothing going for you… but what do you WANT? What do you want for your future, what do you want for yourself? Do some soul searching, do some daily affirmations, make some goals and slowly you'll see those days that are worth being here for. you'll see the reason you're still here.
No. 232362
>>232325Reading this reminds me of myself and I hope you will find meaning in your life or something worthwhile to work for. I know it is very hard to motivate yourself when you see no future for yourself. For me the problem is that I feel alienated from the world and I cannot connect to anything or anyone. I feel out of touch and like I don't belong on this planet.
Other than that what you write about your drug use is really alarming. Normally when people cannot stand themselves when not high, it is an indicator for very deep mental problems that really need to be solved.
>>232331That really sucks. I would love to be your pen friend but the time difference is like 8 hours and therefore it would not work out I think. If she really takes days or weeks to even write a simple response it might be an indicator that she is not really interested in beeing friends with you. The problem with relationships like these is that the other person usually has a real life and other things she does as well while you don't have anything else and you get attached too much.
>>232337what you write is true. Without goals you are like a giantic tanker in the middle of the ocean. Moving just like the wind and torrents. WIthout any direction in life. But I think she will struggle to find a worthwhile goal for herself when she cannot see meaning in life. Why struggle when everything is worthless?
No. 232387
>>232325Stop letting your feelings shape your future anon. I have bipolar disorder and my life was a fucking mess… until I decided to stop letting it ruin everything for me. I have a useless degree and it meant just getting shit jobs - so I took a postgrad diploma relevant to my degree and got a better job. SSRIs didn’t work for my mental health, so I tried actual therapy and stick to it like religion, even when things get hard. When relationships messed me up I forgot about them altogether, and now I’m happily married. Drugs used to make me feel better amongst all the shit, but running off to the safety of numbing your feelings (rather than dealing with them) means nothing will ever motivate you to change.
How are you going to gain assets and accomplishments when you are just stuck in the same rut? Do something different! Would you rather life was hard and miserable, or hard but rewarding? Life is so worth it, but you have to put the work in. Rooting for you anon, I really hope you can find happiness! /pep talk
No. 232412
File: 1520354955296.jpg (19.7 KB, 200x200, 97838.jpg)
>>230135>>230138>>230174She broke the Mardi Gras chain necklace I had since 10th grade and she said it my fault because I threw a box at her even though she threw one at me first. Fuck her honestly.
I'm selling my shit on eBay, including the bathroom scale she uses (but never asks me to use and she yells at me for doing the same thing, even threatening to kill me over 5 pizza rolls I stole because there was nothing in the house.)
As soon as I have enough money, I'm moving out and changing my name. I've had enough of the arguing and fighting over stupid bullshit. I've had enough of feeling embarrassed because of my mother screaming in public or my brother getting in trouble. I hate my broken family. My dad's not there most of the time and I have a sister in different state and I can't even see her. She's practically dead to me and she probably feels the same about me. I can't even see my youngest sister even though she lives half a mile away from me. We don't even act like family. I'm tired of feeling like a stranger in the house that I live in. The only one that I can talk to is my grandmother. When she dies, I'm all alone.
(Oh yeah everyone on my mother's side of the family has a different dad. So that too.)
My older sister is going to end up like my mother and she doesn't care.
I'm tired of living between TWO houses (my mother and grandmother) It's hard for me to sign up for shit because of it. (I just sled by Paypal. I almost got banned for having two different mailing addresses. The one my card is different from the one on my driver's license.)
I'm tired of being fat and ugly and having sagging tits and being almost bald (Mostly my fault, but still).
I'm tired of having Eczema.
I'm tired of being stupid and feeling jealous whenever someone does something better than me.
I'm tired of the nightmares and sleepless nights.
I'm tired of everything.
Killing myself wouldn't make a difference, so I gave up on that thought. Just going though the motions until I die.
No. 232420
File: 1520359850927.png (94.9 KB, 237x218, 1467393572128.png)
>going through with art college applications, trying to rush/refine my portfolio work by early may
>have to balance that with multiple essays and reading assignments for school
>have to start studying for finals
>my first serious girlfriend broke up with me on valentine's day
>she proceeded to try and get back with her ex that she wasn't over, meaning i was just a rebound
>she's already in a new relationship with another guy
>all the while she's trying to mend things with me when I've clearly told her that I don't want to talk to her for a while
just fuck my shit up
No. 232459
File: 1520368153698.jpg (81.17 KB, 493x402, lolo.jpg)
>>230931Fuck i relate to this so hard, especially the "wants to be a father" part, but im a fullblown lesbian and i have a "masculine" attitude/personality as well. I also used to insist on being called a boys name and being a "big brother" instead of sister when i was younger. If i had more modern parents i'd probably be an Aiden now. I've thought about transitioning but i don't want to be a pimply manlet with a megaclit so im just gonna keep being a manly dyke.
No. 232486
File: 1520377750435.jpeg (39.97 KB, 480x480, 008064CC-1F5D-4752-86B4-AC3355…)
Today was my first day at a VERY hard, high speed job. I worked about 5 hours today, This guy who started on the same day as me kept chatting me up and I entertained it until I had to do my thing because I just was trying to be nice. At the end of the job he came and asked me for my number, and I gave it to him because I thought it was just a work thing and that everybody did that. But now he’s trying to have a conversation. He asked me what I was doing today and I just said I was going to take a nap and play video games and then he was all, “wow, a girl who plays video games? :) lets do it together!” Number one, why would you ask me to hang out when I blatantly said I was going to sleep and that I was tired? Number two, you don’t even know me! At least wait a week, jesus! I’m so uncomfortable and I don’t want to respond and I feel even worse because I have to face this guy and work with him. I fucking hate guys and I don’t want them to talk to me at all, I’m just there to get my paycheck. Also I’m wondering why the fuck this guy would hit on me when he’s almost 30. We work with a bunch of highschoolers and underage people too so why wouldn’t he even ask how old I am first? Such a weirdo. There should be a rule not to contact coworkers out of work like that but whatever. I’m probably just overreacting but I’m really bad with this stuff and I really want to be left alone. My mom told me to just tell him I had a boyfriend, but no, I shouldn’t have to fucking lie… I don’t want to hang out with him because I don’t want to know him outside of work and I am not interested. I shouldn’t have to have a pretend boyfriend to keep weirdos off my ass. Planning on just ignoring him now.
No. 232492
>>232486Guys who hit on you on your first day at work/new starts tend to be uh, a little creepy from my experience.
A guy asked me out at work a couple times, I declined very nicely, he started bodily brushing past my arse when I couldn't move away and touching my hands. These "accidents" magically stopped when I mentioned it to another higher guy who worked there+in front of several staff
Same guy sees me on a dating site like 7 years later and messages me. We are both polite to each other but like did you not get the hint the first time. I used to have to take convoluted journeys home from work to avoid him as well
I'd say nip it in the bud and tell higher-ups if it continues. He took advantage of the fact you're gonna be on your friendly best on a new job to try and weasel in
No. 232500
>>232486You should ask him for advice on how to hit on a "crush" of yours. And make it clear it's not him. He should back off by then.
And it sucks, but unless you want to be blunt you'll need to come up with something if you don't want him taking interest in you.
No. 232510
>>232362Thanks, anon. We met through the friend finder thread and bonded over mutual things - being lonely, she is/was a neet too but has a part time job, etc.
I sent her a message saying that I was pissed about it but at the same time I gave the benefit of doubt and asked if something that I didn't know was going on. I'm very careful to not come off as too aggressive so I don't hurt her feelings. I hope she answers soon and everything comes back to normal.
No. 232611
File: 1520445107431.jpg (31.59 KB, 852x480, 32948294.jpg)
Made an eighty one on my Microsoft Word Certification test. It's not bad, it's just that I'm surprised that I didn't fail. There were three practices tests, and I took each one once, the third one I took at like 1 in the morning. It's just that I worried about failing hard, even almost not sleeping only to pass the test. I lost sleep for nothing and it's making me mad for some reason.
No. 232651
>>232621very sad to hear, hope she comes to doggo heaven and enjoys giantic steaks
>>232510Well you are right, it might be real life trouble and only a misunderstanding after all. I hope you are right. Even if it is only part time, a job can be tons of stress and some people just don't have the energy to keep all their usual activities up. My sister started working as well and quit beeing a firefighter because she lacks the time for it now. However, I think a reply per day should be possible.
No. 232681
>>232678He hit you? It sounds like someone watched too many TV shows or something where a drunk character gets smacked. Surprisingly doesn't translate well to real life.
Anon, I can't tell you to cut him off since I don't know your whole story but what if he escalates? He obviously thinks it's okay to hit you. Idk… scare him. Tell him you'll call the cops on his ass if he raises a hand against you again. What a douchenozzle.
No. 232702
File: 1520489761528.jpg (108.44 KB, 960x932, 1518217529158.jpg)
>>232695My acne got worse when I got older as well, I wonder if it's something hormonally.
Cheer up anon. 21 is young.
No. 232842
File: 1520562929071.jpg (24.29 KB, 365x365, 1499143577971.jpg)
>tfw you have no one to send cute positivity and friendship memes to bc you have no close friends
No. 232845
File: 1520563825512.jpg (25.38 KB, 360x270, fbc80d2f-2ffc-4d24-9176-d85a6a…)
>>232842Fucking this. I've only had acquaintances that I never connect to, but even that is ending soon once I graduate.
I just want a friend with the same humor, experiences and life outlook.
How the fuck do you even make friends, fuck
No. 232859
File: 1520574579770.gif (1.86 MB, 228x170, 1518133492398.gif)
Vent: I feel like my bf won't grow the fuck up.
He wants to hang out with friends and party every time he has a day off, and it's annoying speaking as someone who doesn't get to plan happenings with my own friends at every available opportunity. Either because I'm busy or they are. Usually I'm stuck cleaning the apartment, chores, or just catching up on rest.
It bothers me. He did clean the bathroom and kitchen as I asked before he went out but it's not like there isn't other shit needing done. It's like he can never square to take on responsibilities if it means sacrificing having fun.
Shit, I don't what to be the anti-fun witch but he takes it too far. He's been gone since 4pm and it's almost 1am. And no, he doesn't text me or ever let me know what's going on. He's gonna come home smashed to boot, and he's an obnoxious drunk to drunksit.
I feel like I've been way too liberal with excusing this behavior, so if I crack down on it now it's gonna make me look controlling or bad in general. It's bullshit.
But the worst part is the money.
Beer costs money. He likes the expensive craft shit that's like $9+/can.
It's ironic because he spends a lot of money on beer, Uber rides to work since he put off getting a license and car, and yet he constantly hawks me about my own money.
I bought a tarte palette for the first time in years and he begrudgingly asked how much money I spent on it. A whopping $45.
He's bitter because he pays the rent so how dare I spend my money on something that's not a utility, bill, grocery, or something for him. God forbid his only responsibility is paying rent on time and going to work.
On my day off tomorrow, what am I doing? Driving him to some wedding depot to get him fitted for a tux for his friend's wedding. Grocery shopping too. Cleaning this filthy apartment all day.
Funny how that works, how I have to be responsible and can't disappear for 12 hours. Nor is he planning anything nice for me, I'm just expected to make my own fun.
I don't know if this is angsty, late-20s male tantruming because he realizes he's getting older and is struggling to accept that life isn't a constant fucking party. Or if he's actually doomed to be like this forever because deep down he doesn't want to be responsible for fuck all.
No. 232862
>>232859You have to put your foot down. It's not going to be fun, you may have to scream or give an ultimatum but you can't let this continue. I had a whole phase where I had to do this shit in order to make my bf realize I'm not his mom and he's not 16. It wasn't fun.
For the money, every time he has tried to criticize the purchases done with my own money I nipped it in the bud really quick telling how I manage my own money (successfully, doesn't work if you're a shopping addict) and pointing sharply at one of his last 'fun' purchase that I haven't nagged him about. It still happen from time to time but this method work pretty well for me.
No. 232865
>>232859you sound really angry, mostly about not getting to go out with people, partly because your boyfriend and you clearly aren't compatible. why are you with someone who you have to manage if you don't want that? people who are like this will
always be like this.
No. 232872
>>232865That's not really true, though. People change. I've seen men mature after getting a job, a stern talking they needed, having a baby, suddenly feeling older and wanting to improve…
That's why she has to tell him there is a problem. Then, if there's clearly no improvement, move on.
No. 232921
File: 1520612360274.gif (523.24 KB, 540x304, 1509322196572.gif)
>>231955It sounds like you're talking about Plato's philosophy of the World of Forms.
Ideal, but how does a conscious mind rise in the ladder? It seems impossible with emotions and our irrationality.
I wish I could have physically seen and interacted with the Stoics, the philosophers, Siddhartha to see how they truly conducted themselves and how they practiced their philosophies.
No. 232922
>>232894Hey dude, kind of feel the exact same way.
I've just started developing acne when I turned 24, am just about to graduate with no friends/family and feel like I have no marketable skills/my youth and beauty are fading fast.
I'd say, make sure you weight lift, try to eat more green veggies and find something that fulfills you or you're passionate about.
Everyone's looks with time fade, and the only thing they'll be looking at is your character.
Or we'll have advanced enough technology to change our appearance so it probably won't matter.
No. 232929
>>232859This is very sad what you post and I think you two should talk to each other about this situation. What he does is not okay and if you let him continue like this he might not change for another decade or so (remember, 40 is the new 30). It is not fair that he dumps all the work on you and then he doesn't even seem to invite you to where he goes. I mean it is not like you would annoy anyone on a wedding.
>>232883sometimes it is necessary to do the right thing. If you regret what you said you should definetly apologize and ask him for forgiveness. If you really feel bad about it he deserves to know it.
>>232894I teared up and recognized myself in your posting. 27 in a few months and never did anything with the youthfullness I was handed. What a waste.
No. 232969
>>227924I completely understand you anon and these fears you have started for me when I turned like 27 (I turn 29 this summer). Being almost 30 is kind of horrible. I didn't really have a youth and tried to make up for it in my 20's, partly successful. I think it's important to not think like you get too old to go out and party and do other stuff young people do. Try to find friends who are pretty youthful (I mean having a youthful/juvenile mind, sorry I'm ESL). I cope with fear of getting old by promising myself to take care of my appearance, try to improve my diet, make up, exercise more, but not excessively and imo I look better than a few years ago just by stepping up the make up and fashion game a bit. I love looking at beautiful women in their 30's and 40's and it's really not impossible to look good at that age. Most of my male friends are into "milf" type of women, I know it sounds ridiculous but it gives me hope that men will continue to find me attractive when I get older. I mean, I find many older men attractive so why should it be different for the other side. Apart from that it should be most important that YOU like how you look yadayada. 24 is really not old enough to worry about it. If you think you don't find people do have fun with, try to make new friends, even if you are already working. Maybe I'm more laid-back cause my friends (all my age or around 30) are still kind of immature and like to do things others only do in their teen years and early 20's. The only thing that I'm still worried about is that they aren't really interested in going to clubs anymore but I hope I'll find people for that again
No. 232987
I have the same problem.
The day before i turned 16 i still remember crying to my mother because i didn't want to grow up.
But at 19 my obsession with youth really started.
This year i will turn 23, i've zero dating experience, barely any friends, i stay at home all day long.
At high school i was the boring, good type of girl, but i always had high hopes for university. Instead of having fun, i'm withfrawing more and more, the periods between going out are getting larger, i've gotten fat, have already fine lines on my forehead and i'm feeling more awful than ever.
I regret not enjoying my youth more. My mother has been telling me the same thing since ages, but as i approach my mid-twenties, i feel like it's already too late and i've wasted it.
No. 233015
File: 1520642894573.png (1.36 MB, 1198x1118, 1v2bcmfo7_1280.png)
Stumbled upon a gore thread like an idiot, I hate it but it makes me appreciate my life a lot more
>>232894>rewind time and be young againYou almost sound like those crazy incels that fantasize and go on and on about not getting to fuck 16 year old girls in highschool. Being in your 20s is still super young.
You're not old or going to be old anytime soon, you're only old when you hit like 45 and then that's where it's down hill. Even then there's no age limit on fun, anon.
Maybe you should take a break from the internet, for a little while. You have plenty of time to do fun stuff, stop living in this delusion.
No. 233053
>>233050It's so exasperating I swear to god. And exactly the "I cleaned my room today, look at me adulting" shit you described. Add to that that they all have such a fucking embarrassing way of tumblr textspeak with constant abbreviations and ;;; instead of … and emoticons like uwu; or 83c like it's fucking 2009. I almost die every time I see the same person complain about something like bumping their knee (real story) THE TENTH TIME IN THE GC TODAY.
It's so childish and getting constant praise only enforces their need for validation and attention. How can someone be so unaware of themselves. UGHHHHH
No. 233079
Today I finally accepted that I'm heartbroken over a friendship that ended. We didn't have a fight, nothing dramatic happened. The social group we were both part of simply changed once a "queen bee" showed up.
I never believed in anything like that, and a "female alpha" always sounded fucking retarded, but now that I see the havoc this girl wrecked I can't help but believe. She's a radfem lesbian, and managed to turn even the straightest girls in the group into political lesbians (she's a scumbag who'll preach about compulsory heterosexuality just so she can fuck straight girls). The air itself feels heavy around her, like everyone needs her approval to as much as breathe.
I was always skeptical about trends and didn't blindly follow or agree, so I was quickly ostracized. That wouldn't be a problem if this girl who was my friend didn't go along. She still tries to talk to me from time to time, but I can't be near her. I can't stand to see her now, how different she is. I would be accepting if the change had come from within, but it didn't.
The person my friend used to be is dead, and all that's left is some brainless zombie waiting for its next command. It's so sad. I'm so sad.
No. 233081
>>233077Aw, anon. I'm sorry to hear that, you seem pretty unhappy. Have you talked to him about the fact that you feel undesired? There's other things he could do to make you feel beautiful and wanted besides sex, I'm sure. From someone with an ultra low libido, it's hard to be in a relationship with someone who has a much higher sex drive, but he can still tell you you're wanted and desirable or show you his appreciation in other ways.
About the obsessive cleaning, it seems you're using it to kind of get out of your mind. Maybe talking to someone professional, even just for one or two hours would help you resolve those feelings you seem to carry around with you.
GL!
No. 233086
>>233085Again, that's some pretty heavy stuff. Nobody's forcing you to do anything about it, but look at it that way: you're stuck in a situation where you yourself can't find a way out.
So either you talk to your boyfriend about it or you might consider talking to someone who's a professional in those things. Either counselling or a psychological trained person. Just a suggestion from a medfag.
Don't always try to do these things all on your own, there's no shame in wanting some assistance, especially since it really seems to weigh you down.
No. 233091
>>233088A lot of people have that problem with therapists, because it's hard to get over the "they aren't meant to be your friend" thing.
Just be honest. Trying to make things better usually leaves you feeling guilty for not being completely truthful. You can do it! We're rooting for you.
No. 233181
>>233178you're overreacting and you shouldn't try to stop him from bettering himself just because "you wont be attracted to him." that does, in fact, make you a shitty gf.
there's more to love and attraction than how someone physically looks. if you actually love him, it won't matter how he looks. and this isn't even a health issue where he's getting fatter, he's actually taking care of himself…?
No. 233182
File: 1520727369229.gif (1.24 MB, 448x393, giphy (2).gif)
>>233181>there's more to love than attraction and how someone physically looks>…unless he was getting fatterFucking kek. Why even bother with that high horse? You also have no idea that the kind of build he's going for isn't a health issue.
No. 233192
>>233184Again, plenty of health problems will not physically manifest in a form that's easy to discern as bad, or is socially taboo like gaining weight.
What anon is ignoring that there is plenty to be concerned about as fitbros tend to get into very unhealthy and dangerous habits.
Regardless–her not being attracted to what he wants to become isn't a moot issue. Men leave women for less.
No. 233198
>>233192So it's reasonable to stoop to a man's level? lmao.
The fact of the matter is, if you REALLY love someone, their looks don't matter. Oftentimes, they become even more attractive to you, even if they're too fat, too thin, too this, too that. My bf is skinnier than I am - I'm definitely not typically attracted to that at all, but his personality more than makes up for that.
That said, to the original anon: It's your life. If his looks wind up bugging you that much, dump him. No one is forcing you to be attracted to him. But I think you'll find that you won't even notice it all that much - unless he turns into a braid dead arrogant piece of shit like a lot of gym bros do.
No. 233200
>>233077Have you tried talking to your bf?
I am sure if you explained to him how you feel and what you truly desire, he would understand. He cannot read your thoughts so if you never told him about your views, he might not understand your actions at all. I mean he probably is in a similar situation. He probably asks himself similar things and does not have the courage to ask your directly. I think you 2 should talk to each other and get this situation cleared. I am sure everything will be okay. Good luck.
No. 233207
some long-winded context:
>befriended this girl in high school that everybody hated because she was white as hell but claimed to be 3/4 native
>we had a strong friendship during our junior year; she transferred schools before our senior year after getting pregnant and miscarrying at 17.
>she was on the depo shot when she got pregnant. after her miscarriage she said she was done with BC.
>at some point in our senior year we had a terrible falling out, with her publicly telling me to "choke on my sleeping pills"
>fast forward to May 2017. a couple days before i graduate, we get back in touch. we apologize to each other and get back to talking. our friendship bounces back to being like nothing ever happened.
>she ends up telling me of all the abuse the baby daddy of her lost child has put her through in the few months, including hitting her so hard he left scratches/bruises, locking her out of his house at 2am and having her beat on his door until her hands were bloody before he let her back in. he also knows she has a mood disorder from her mother and will tell her to kill herself/just die whenever they argue.
>she says she's leaving him for good.
>fast-forward to July. she gets pregnant by that piece of shit.
>he already has one kid who's 4 or 5. he's in his 20s, she's 18, has been "dating" him since she was 16.
>at first her BD is supportive, but as she starts to experience morning sickness, mood swings, etc. it's like he's flipped a switch.
>i distinctly remember her crying to me that he told her to "abort that shit, it isn't mine."
>she doesn't want to.
>mid-September 2017, she finally breaks it off with her BD for good. i've been here for her the entire time.
>her pregnancy continues and she has 0 problems; she's having a girl, and is elated – her miscarried baby was a girl.
>around Dec/Jan, she suddenly stops talking to me and blocks me on Snapchat first, then my number. I DM her on insta and ask her what's wrong. she says she's just "busy."
>2 days later i'm blocked on insta.
>at this point she still follows me on tumblr so i make a post about how hurt i am.
>get an anonymous message from her starting with "i didn't think i owed people an explanation for when i decide to cut them off, but since you want one, here it is…"
>proceeds to tell me she dropped me because of my relapse into my ED (not like it was triggering for her, she'd never had one in her life), and was tired being sent "random risque snaps" (even though back when she was with her BD, she'd snap me pictures of him eating her ass all the time)
>i didn't try to reach out again
for the past few months leading up to her labor and delivery, i have kept tabs on her through mutual friends. she had her daughter just the other day, and so i DM'd her to congratulate her. i told her how happy i was for her and how i knew she'd be a good mother, etc.
after she essentially just told me "thank you" i was promptly blocked.
i think i'm so hurt by all of this still because the reasons she dropped me were so arbitrary? and for the past few months i had just been hoping that her behavior was just a result of her pregnancy hormones, but i guess not.
No. 233216
>>233198>reasonable to stoop to a man's levelYeah, because only men are allowed to be superficial and women just have to suck it up when their partners start becoming something unattractive.
But ok anon, you do you.
No. 233218
>>233207She's only 18 and has a kid with a scumbag. And somehow she thinks that's better than someone having an ED.
She doesn't sound like great friend material anyway. There's other people out there, anon.
No. 233221
>>233178Anon… I mean… that sounds kind of extreme… I get you might not be into the big buff dudes, but would you really break up with him over it? Even if under it all he’s still the same guy he always is?
I feel like theres more to it… fear that maybe he’ll appear more attractive to other women? That he’ll gain confidence and look elsewhere?
I get worrying about change and shit, but to be crying because he’s working out just… seems like an over reaction
No. 233225
>>233223You are making that comparison by saying that breaking up with someone when you're not attracted to them anymore is "stooping" to a man's level, implying it's wrong for OP to consider it or be nervous that her partner is changing.
Why are you encouraging people to stay in relationships where there's attraction issues? It needs to be brought up or she should leave if it can't be resolved.
No. 233226
>>233225Did you not read the rest of my post?
>That said, to the original anon: It's your life. If his looks wind up bugging you that much, dump him. No one is forcing you to be attracted to him. But I think you'll find that you won't even notice it all that much - unless he turns into a braid dead arrogant piece of shit like a lot of gym bros do.Of course she can dump him if she finds him ugly, but I think she should give it a shot. She might wind up not caring at all. To dump him over it now is extremely premature; he might give up on his gym journey long before it becomes an issue, or his body won't bother her. If it does, by all means she should leave the relationship, but to me it seems like just throwing a relationship away where you most likely put a lot of time and effort into it over appearance.
All I'm saying is that it's not worth worrying about until the time comes -
if it comes. The way the other anon put it, it sounded like "men dump women over less, why shouldn't we hurr hurr."
No. 233357
File: 1520808209893.jpg (33.98 KB, 627x470, 3228422.jpg)
I'm admin in a facebook group for aupairing in Denmark. There seems to be a quite high request for filipino aupairs in DK (I don't approve it because it's very clear that all those host families looking for filipino girls only are only in it for the cheap labour and want girls from a poor country to exploit them, but okay), so 80% of the girls in the group are filipino. The problem is that, no matter how much we write it in the rules to speak in English only so everyone can understand, they refuse to speak in English completely. They're ALWAYS speaking in their language. I can't wrap my head around it because isn't the main point of aupairing the cultural exchange? If you can't adapt and speak English among foreigners how do you expect to adapt into living with a foreign family, in a foreign country for one year where you will be required to speak English only? But no, they're always there nagging families, tagging their filipino friends writing hell knows what, and ignoring the rules.
I guess it's time to banhammer and refuse every filipina that sends a request to join the group. Christ.
No. 233366
>>233357>>233360>>233361>you can't rely on the presence of your compatriots foreverMany cultures, including filipinos, are very community oriented and they can definitely rely on family/friends/compatriots to point them in the right directions for places that will give them jobs and such.
Out of all the poor countries you can get a working girl from to potentially exploit, the Philippines are one of the best ones because their national English levels are quite high. They're quite popular internationally for these kinds of jobs because of their English abilities (and reputations as service people). At the very least, most of them probably know enough to do their jobs and find a local BF/job to get a visa from.
Have you run their conversations through google Translate or something?
No. 233373
I've been out of a 1,5-year relationship since September of 2017. I used to be extremely depressed due to trauma, I used to be very dependent on my boyfriend at the time, and I used to struggle a lot with my ED. Obviously, it was hard for him to keep the relationship going, but we were happy together for most of the time. Our breakup was very rough (he broke up with me), he didn't want to hurt me, but most importantly, he didn't want to hurt himself. He wanted to go on with his life. I respected that quite quickly after the breakup.
We broke contact since October, I haven't contacted him ever since. I removed all of the messages I ever received from him on my phone, by my request he blocked me on Twitter, we removed each other from Discord, you know the deal. I got my life back on track quite quickly, I even recovered from most of my mental health issues, I'm doing quite well. I could finally say I'm happy.
But, a few days ago, I decided to take a look on his Twitter account. I was just curious. Apparently, he unblocked me, and he posted a big, big rant. Even calling names and such. Of course, this rant was about our relationship. Ironically, he started his rant with 'I don't think anyone's ever going to read this'. It's so obviously he wanted me to read this.
My ex said I am the reason he can 'never be in a relationship anymore', and 'never fall in love again'. Worst of it all, because of me, he associates sex with pain, acting like as if I harassed him or something.
Every decision we made was talked through, I was always scared to hurt him, especially on a sexual level, since I have experienced harassement myself, obviously I didn't want that to happen to him. Portraying me like this openly on social media really hurts. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, because he's out of my life, but god, this is so childish. I'm not better than him at the moment, since I'm venting here, but hey, at least this is anonymous and not out on the open on Twitter, calling his name out everywhere.
I blocked him after I read his rant. I'm so done with him.
No. 233391
>>233362I'm serious when i say this, you need to go to a real school. for one, actually being there motivates you to work and for two, it motivates you to make friends and get outside.
all-night math binging with study partners the night before a test were some of the most fun i had in college
No. 233394
>>232894I'm 30 right now and had this feeling when I was 23
Be the change you want to see. No one else can do it for you.
No. 233396
Just came back from a visit to my half-sister's house.
She's 30 years older than me, was always the golden child whenever my dad would scold me, has her life together, lots of relationships and friends, married for life, amazing career woman and mother, her daughters study fields I love but dropped because of my crippling social anxiety, both have boyfriends and are way tinner than me, her house always looks great, they have a room each(dad is a narcisit hoarder, so I slept in the same room/bad as my mom until 20 years old), and here am I crying wihtout any friends or even acquaintances to relly on, I pushed everyone I ever met away, quit my job, no idea what to do, can't feel passion for the things I loved before having my soul sucked for money, never had a fucking boyfriend, half of my bedroom is filled with dad's stuff.
I feel like an unnecessary seccond edition of worse quality genetically and, I wont, but I really want to die right now.
I can't even be a nice person and not be triggered by people achieving nice things while my sorry excuse of an ass can't ;_;
No. 233415
File: 1520838541801.jpg (34.98 KB, 448x528, 1516159680947.jpg)
hi guys… just quit/got fired today
i was supposed to go to work 6 days per week from 11:50am to 10:30 pm for about 65 dollars every week (not the actual number, because i converted it from my currency to dollars so that american anons could understand me). i was supposed to be a waitress and a cleaning lady while the rest of the staff shared memes between each other and stole food.
i feel like a fucking loser for quitting because the job wasnt even that hard. but im a college student and its super hard to handle all of that. i couldn't do it guys. i feel so bad. like i let them down. but i couldn't handle being yelled at constantly + having only one day of rest + college + costumers laughing at me/taking pics/pointing at me (it was a maid cafe). i just want to cry rivers…
No. 233419
>>233415Anon nooo, that sounds like it really sucks, I totally understand (I worked for 4.25 a hour as a hostess at a hillbilly steakhouse before).
Trust me you're gonna thank yourself for not wasting precious time in your short life on such shit if you dont absolutely have to.
No. 233428
>>233415No pay is worth losing your mental health or having to carry the rest of the staff.
It sucks that you needed to quit but you’re not some neet loser who just can’t be bothered, you had legit concerns and did what you needed to do to take care of yourself. Hope you feel better soon anon. It sounds rough.
No. 233431
>>233415Anon, you should have worked for 10 hours and 40 min, 6 days a week and would have gotten 65 dollars? That's like 1 dollar for an hour, wtf
What country is so underdeveloped that it pays that low, but on the other hand they have stuff like maid cafes and you have internet…?
No. 233436
File: 1520849601439.gif (383.38 KB, 500x281, comfort47f6.gif)
>>233434Anon, i'm very sorry, there's not much i can say, but i wish you all the best!
No. 233441
>>233440This. I live alone in a dorm but have plenty of friends who live at home. They have work and all, they're not deadbeats, they just can't afford to move out.
Most of the time when I talk to British people or exchange students from Northern Europe they laugh at how young people here live and give a response not unlike "lol y not just stop being poor?".
That's why people point it out, it's annoying as hell.
No. 233442
>>233440I told her that is still live at home and THEN i asked her whether she does as well.
You're doing exactly the same thing as her; everybody knows that's it's accepted to live at home forever in southern countries yet for some reason people from these countries always immediately think that other's judge them for that and that's not true. I never accused her of anything yet she was immediately offended - and so were you…
No. 233456
>>233449Please calm down…
> "There i'm from it's socially accepted to live at home longer, we don't have to move out like you Americans!!!" does not equal 'explaining'; she immediately got angry for absolutely no reason, again, just like you as well now
And even if i was american and/or uneducated, would it be justified to just yell at me like that? I took no offense in being mistaken for a native speaker, i just disliked the tone she wrote in
No. 233458
>>233366Yeah, I figured out because they seem very united. But in this group there are girls from Iceland, Greece, Netherlands, Italy, Spain, even Russia and other non-English speaking countries and out of all of them, filipinas are the only ones we're having this problem with.
They seem to use slang or I don't know, because google translate doesn't seem to help.
No. 233460
>>233459Yes, because i wanted to add something.
saged
No. 233471
>>233460I didn't see it until I hit enter. My bad.
I might as well post my daily vent while I'm at it.
My sister is being a bitch again. She said that I drunk her tea when I was drinking Sprite and Coca-Cola all day. And she spat in her tea so I couldn't drink it. And I think she spat/drunk my almond milk out of spite, so I threw out the rest.
I think she's legit going insane. I'm scared.
No. 233500
File: 1520883077441.jpg (5 KB, 252x161, tumblr_nsx6sgGNwP1udwanoo1_400…)
Recently met a great guy, beautiful, tall, sexy, great conversation, lot of common interest. I 100% pictured me dating him. He's been hinting at liking me for a few weeks and today he dropped the polyamorous bomb, so I told him to fuck off and blocked him.
I stalked him on the internet and learned he is in a relationship with two disgusting looking girl, and they themselves are dating chubby neckbeards so now my ego is kinda hurt because I guess he thought I was enough of a piece of shit to tolerate him fucking other women? Uggos at that.
Why can't I find a good monogamous man? Every young hot guy seems to be into "ethical non monogamy" right now.
No. 233504
File: 1520886986319.png (120.97 KB, 500x441, wat.png)
When I told my father I wanted to major in biology when I go off to college in the Fall, he told me that I wasn't going to succeed because women are "best suited for careers involving children and social work" while careers in science are "best left to men" because according to him, male and female brains are different in that a masculine brain thinks "scientifically" and feminine brains are "creative". He said that men are better engineers, doctors, and mathematicians and women are better teachers, therapists and artists. I tried arguing with him but he kept telling me I was wrong and that I should major in art. I raised my voice and called him a misogynist, and then he told me yelling is for stupid people.
I'm dead fucking serious, not larping, this actually happened. My dad has always been pretty misogynistic with his opinions (especially politics) but I've never heard anything quite like this come out of his mouth before. Everyone I complained to defended him by saying it's because he's old and grew up in a traditional southern family and that he's a lost cause. But I still don't understand how a man with two daughters could actually think this way and after all these years, not even try to change his viewpoints.
I'm going to major in fucking biology because I'm good at it, God damn it.
No. 233505
>>233415It was the right thing to do. My sister had a job as well where they promised her things they were never gonna keep up. She quit and later she found a better job. Always remember. One door closes and another one goes up. Just keep your eyes open and watch out for it.
>>233504I understand you are mad at him but I believe his intentions were good. He just does not want to see you frustrated after college so he gave you advice what to do. However you should study what you really like and he should accept your decissions.
No. 233507
>>233504Cool, tell him if he wants you to major in the arts (highly competitive, oversaturated, and underpaid professions), that he also must practice the gender stereotype that males (himself) will financially support your ass while it will be incredibly difficult to find a well-paid job.
After all, being breadwinners and wallets are what men are "supposed" to do. Seriously. Play his game.
t. arts master who doesn't even work in the field I studied
No. 233509
>>233504>he's old and grew up in a traditional southern family and that he's a lost cause.well, he's certainly out of touch since in pretty much every university, biology is the "women's science" and has an almost psych tier female to male ratio.
out of curiosity, does your dad work in a STEM field?
No. 233513
>>233505>I believe his intentions were goodProbably, but I still found it insulting that he believed I would fail at science just because I'm female and the fact that he refused to listen is what really sent me through the roof.
>>233507Haha, yeah. The funny thing is he has that mindset where men should always be the breadwinners and thinks less of men who don't make as much money as their wives. He talks about how he has little respect for one of his employees because his wife is a CEO and makes twice that guys' income, but he's still in a profession that pays pretty well so does it honestly matter? lol.
>>233509He was a biology major himself, went to grad school to become a doctor, but decided he didn't like it and so he switched over to law school and now owns his own law firm. Does pretty well for himself, admittedly.
No. 233549
File: 1520925870505.jpg (18.11 KB, 300x250, hamham feels.jpg)
My heart yearns for some sort of reciprocation. Why won't this feeling fade? It's killing me.
No. 233582
>>233500Oh shit, I'm sorry anon. Are his side girls that ugly? Then it's true that for some men a hole is a hole no matter what.
Polyamorous aka "I want to get my dick wet but I'll call it love so no one can judge me".
Now I feel lucky because polyamory isn't a thing where I live… at least for the moment. You will find a good man, anon.
No. 233585
>>233582Well, one of them is a chubby white girl with dreads who dress like a hippie goth (???) the other one is just plain fat and ugly and overcompensate by dressing super slutty, I don't want to sound conceited but I feel I look way better than them.
Tbh most polyamorous people are way below average, it seems almost like a way for the ugly unpopular kids to play catch up with regular folks?
Maybe he sincerely love them but I feel he is in it for the pussy, he already has two booty call secured so he know he will be able to empty himself whenever he needs it and he can keep playing the field, that's so disgusting to me.
No. 233604
File: 1520970506002.jpg (87.42 KB, 669x613, 28056097_1173347566137684_8115…)
I recently had an anxiety attack over something I wouldn't think would be so substantial. I decided not to use facebook, or at least avoid it as an experiment for as long as I can to actually see if we're all "addicted to social media".
They, whoever they are, are correct. I thought it would be easy but trying to sleep without looking at facebook was making my heart beat fast and my thoughts race. I was constantly thinking about what people may be saying or if someone wanted to call or message me.
Next day, I don't look at facebook once. I slowly start to feel that I can concentrate on one thing. I get depressed thinking a lot of the fun I had in my life was eventually bastardized by people online saying it was cringey and gay. Think about all the irl friends I dropped thinking that I had so many better ones online.
No. 233605
File: 1520971232732.gif (278.36 KB, 500x251, d1f18eab5cac74e22ea6e6ef6c4d66…)
Since i was a student my dream was always to study abroad in Japan.
I'm already in my 3rd year of uni and just started learning japanese this fall. Because i'm rather depressed i didn't study at all until like a week ago. In late June i planned on doing the JLPT N5, but now i absolutely don't think i'll manage to make it and without the test, no going abroad. I've fallen too much behind. I also have other exams in uni which of course have priority over my hobby, so i've got barely any time.
I just want to give up so badly; having more free time would surely help me feel better, but on the other hand i'm so god damn scared to regret it later on, since it was always my dream, my only dream actually.
Should i keep trying, is there a way to learn everything quickly, or is it useless anyways? Actually i don't want to study at all and therefore probably can't remember anything - i always immediately forget everything after a day, not even 5 measly kanji, my brain feels completely full.
But on the other hand i'm already signed up for the test, a hotel room (since it’s quite far away) and have bought the books, so maybe 300$ in total. I work a bit on the side and don't have any other hobbies, it's not like i spend money otherwise, so wasting that wouldn't even be that much of a deal…
All i want to do is cry all day, i'm simply so fed up with everything, i can't go on anymore
(also, i barely know the other guys from my language class who take the test and their huge otakus, so the traveling won't be pleasant either)
No. 233608
>>233606Sure but in my case it was different. I cosplayed for my first ever convention, got upskirted and then put on an "ugly/fat cosplayers" blog.
That shit made me give away all my anime shit and I've not cosplayed since.
No. 233622
File: 1520980490010.gif (618.85 KB, 499x315, giphy (10).gif)
>>233604I feel so fucking irrelevant on fb ever since the algorithms changed and I don't post any content to be noticed. Getting 15 or so odd likes is the peak of my popularity recently.
I've literally left facebook alone for days on end, and only my bf and dad ever posted memes to my wall. That's when I realized literally nobody gives a fuck about me. Pretty freeing, actually. Anyone who gives a fuck with something to say to me knows my number, or knows I'll see their message in a day or two on fb.
No. 233631
>>233623Don't really get it. Is it just a visit or a full abroad study? Learning Japanese in three months is rough. Wouldn't recommend it, you're fine with 1+ year of intensive study, but less than a year sounds really hardcore.
And you sound burnt out. Love yourself, anon. Do what's best for your body, you say you have an aversion to studying right now and low spirits. Don't put this pressure on top of you when you already feel shitty.
No. 233640
>>233635Thanks anon :( it’s been a tough day
You do these degrees for better job prospects but often people just tell you you’re overqualified. I had to hide my degrees just to get this little gig isn’t that funny
My fault or not, the fact remains I can’t afford to live without this. I don’t really know where to go from here. Applying for stuff like a madwoman but who knows if I’ll hear back
No. 233654
saging because I bitched about this before in previous thread (or hell, even up-thread)
So for a rundown, we fired the person who used to perform subtasks of mine in a commercial lab setting. Which is simultaneously good and bad
>good because our error percentage has, as of almost 2 months, gone down over 90%
>bad because I've picked over 80% of his work because his job was shit I didn't have time to do because of other testing and required job things I had to do.
And it sucks because even though my manager pretends that its as much of her struggle as it is mine, I'm still doing the vast majority of the work. And I have a useless ass coworker that has more job experience than me, but is supposed to ask me more job-related questions than he is the manager just pisses me off.
>what size is this?
>what is the time we sterilize that?
>where should I inoculate this?
We have the same level of education and it pisses me off that he gets paid more than me.
(the only reason I know that is that when I asked for a raise after being qualified for the vast majority of everything I am trained to, my supervisor did not mention his name, but everyone else I work with. and he is really the last person I would put for a raise because he is always late (like, not 1-5 minutes but at least 15-20, even when he liven directly behind our office) and does 0% to try and do anything other than the minimum.
I don't know if I'm a try hard or what but I get so pissed off at this.
No. 233691
>>233689I wouldn't worry too much. My current boyfriend is super cute but I'm hella fat and I was freakig out that he wouldn't like me irl (We'd dated online for a year before visiting).
He says "Everyone could gain from getting healthy, but why would I fuck up a chance with a good girl because of her body?"
He also just casually grabbed me a bunch because… I mean, he likes me.
Hook'em with the personality, girl. Take care of your health also.
Drink only water, take brisk walks, stuff like that.
No. 233692
>>233689If you get along that well over text I'm pretty sure he won't care that you're a little out of shape, you're probably just overthinking it.
If you want to lose some weight, just cut your calorie intake down and make sure you walk for 30-45 minutes a day. As for not looking exactly like you do in photos, everyone uses angles to their advantage, he won't be expecting you to look how you look in a filtered ultra madeup photo. You got this anon! Don't worry.
No. 233724
>>233689>>233703why you gotta be such a downer?
I know plenty of people who are in normal relationships from Tinder. And didn't start with a hookup.
A guy who chats you up for days and wants to meet next month for a movie festival clearly isn't just after a hookup. They want to meet up as fast as possible, aren't too interested in knowing you etc, pretty easy to spot imho.
OP, just do your makeup, that's not such a huge effort, dress up nicely, and he won't notice you're out of shape. Most men are fucking blind. As long as you're not obese and literally catfishing, you'll be fine.
If it motivates you to exercise more, do it, but don't even think about starving yourself for a random guy from an app.
Uptade us how it went!
No. 233772
>>233724>A guy who chats you up for days and wants to meet next month for a movie festival clearly isn't just after a hookupYou'd be surprised, many guys who chat for days, weeks or even months/years can only be interested in sex. Even if it seems you get along great and know everything about each other. It can be a real Jekyll and Hyde situation when you meet. Or, a guy can message for a long time and be a damp squib with no sex appeal or girlfriend experience, that happens too.
It might be fine but I was just throwing that out there as the other replies were quite encouraging/hopeful and it's bad to be
too hopeful about these things. I guarantee messaging someone straight for any amount of time does not necessarily express genuine interest
No. 233775
>>233772Also multiple guys have told me about girls who "didn't look like their photos" and were overweight in person, and one even made up a story where the "fat" girl climbed onto the table to try and make out with him. Another one said he went round to a "fat girl's" house for sex but didn't want to be seen in public with her.
I'm slim and always put up photos that look exactly like me IRL, so I assume they thought I'd be A-OK with hearing this rude nonsense. also said guys were nothing to write home about.
However I do know one guy who has been in a serious relationship for years after meeting on Tinder, so it does happen, more in spite of the app than because of it.
(yeah the Debbie downer continues, sorry Anon. Most guys are just boring/disappointing rather than bad, some slightly more useful advice is: Just turn up and see if you like THEM. That's all that matters. It doesn't matter what they think of you. I've never been nervous on a date because I was always turning up to judge
them, not the other way around.)
No. 233795
>>233775>Another one said he went round to a "fat girl's" house for sex but didn't want to be seen in public with herGuys are such morons if they seriously believe that kind of talk is in any way flattering to most women with brains.
What they think they're saying:
>yeah those fat girls disgust me but not you cuz your body is nothing like that!!!What they're actually saying:
>I didn't have the balls to end the date and still attempted to get my dick wet with someone who I don't find attractive because I'm desperate and I'll thinly veil that by putting down the women I agreed to go out with in the first place. No. 233860
File: 1521059908024.jpeg (45.94 KB, 520x334, F4609D11-E241-41A4-BB95-7A0D15…)
My ldr bf is kind of a manchild. We’ve been together for a year and a half while he’s been living in literal poverty in some shit town in the south and he’s just finishing up school. His mom doesn’t work, she gets social security and food stamps and he lives in a hoarder house because she doesn’t throw things away. His house is collapsing, rotting, there are literal wild snakes inside, etc. His situation is just shitty.
The plan is that he leaves once he graduates but he doesn’t have any long term plans to get a job or career. And I’m worried that he’s going to expect me to take him in and care for him and be his mom. Which I’m not doing. I’m financially stable, I’ve finished school, I have a job right now, etc. But all he does is sit on the internet at home and he doesn’t even want to make a serious plan. It’s depressing as fuck.
This is literally the only problem I have with him. He’s a great boyfriend otherwise. But I’m frustrated and worried. Only 3 months left until he graduates, and then what? He’s just going to buy a plane ticket with the 200 dollars he has to my state and try to live with me when I haven’t even moved out yet? I don’t know how to help him. Whenever I try to talk to him about it he’s avoidant and childish. I just wish he’d care about himself a bit more and had some drive. I understand he’s living in a horrible situation but if that were me I’d be making so many plans to get out of there and help myself.
No. 234024
>>233860If you're financially stable, why haven't YOU moved out yet? He sounds like he's not taking much initiative but when you're closing the distance, you both need to collaborate. What's YOUR plan for the future? Where does he come in? Is he supposed to get a stable job where he lives now and then…what, once he saves up enough money, quit and move your way? Why not move in with you and then get a job in your area? It honestly doesn't sound like either of you have a plan for turning your LDR into a face to face relationship.
Personally, I finished school and then moved to my financially stable bf, who moved out of his parents house and got an apartment that we lease together. I got a job upon moving to his area.
No. 234030
>>234028Oh anon same. I just feel so incredibly lonely and everytime I want to go and find a deep relationship or make some "real" friends either that person doesn't have the same interests as me or we don't click and…
But please anon, don't kill yourself. I found that working on yourself and your hopes and dreams even if its fucking hopeless makes things better. Like yeah, the world is shit, but hey look I lost 3 pounds and I'm more hardworking now!
>Honestly I envy people with parents and friends that they can talk to SO much. >Companionship seems like such a distant concept to me at this point I've pretty much accepted I'll be alone forever No. 234038
I'm in a Long distance relationship with current bf but I don't even know if we're going to make it or not. I ended my lease and moved in with him months ago, took a huge leap of faith, but his depression got the better of him and he told me to leave and go back to my parents.
So now I feel like a huge loser and have to deal with living with my family after being independant for almost a decade, and I couldn't even bring myself to tell my friends I had to move back in because i'm just so ashamed.
He still says he loves and miss me but he can't live with me because of the depression, and to his credit, he did schedule an appointment with a therapist.
I just don't know if I should wait or not and I feel like such a small person compared to him because he has a nice lump of money from investments but I basically got nothing because I was supposed to get a job around his area.
I'm tired of feeling like the loser that love her bf more than he loves her. I feel lame waiting for him to want me back so I can resume my plans.
>>234028It hits close to home but hang in there anon :( You never know what good thing can come your way and they will come !
No. 234269
>>234259this website was literally created to discuss petty drama. this is like going to the beach in a suit made of bread and getting sad when seagulls fuck with you.
maybe try crystal.cafe…
No. 234293
>>234284i thought so, i haven't been on there in a while. i remember a lot of the girls on there did
act like they were super ♡ nice, but they were so bad at hiding their cunty attitudes.
>>234286most of us aren't and even the ones that are are not even a fraction as shitty as neckbeards, piss off. but to answer your question
a. a lot of the girls here are from /cgl/ and
b. imageboards attract depressed people
No. 234314
File: 1521147757141.jpeg (8.51 KB, 323x156, download (4).jpeg)
>>234284>the users there are way more nuts than anyone hereHow are they any worse compared to here just because they ban posters who go against that board culture? Lolcow has threads dedicated to posting everything about a person's social media 24/7 and then nitpicking what they do to death. Saying horrible things about their bodies. The cowtipping that slips through the cracks. Some anons are flat out obsessed about particular cows, and we have a thread here in ot about "personal" cows that anons stalk.
I don't like painting either website with a generalized brush but you do realize this sounds like sour grapes? Most normies would say lolcow is crazy if not worse than a general girl's image board where ~boolies~ aren't allowed to post.
No. 234318
>>234034I could have written this exact post a few years ago, I had tried almost everything to treat my depression, was also considering electroshock therapy- then I did a large amount of LSD & when I came back to reality I wasn't suicidal anymore. (I'd previously tried microdosing but that didn't help at all.)
I'm still lethargic/isolated though, but not mentally suffering like the previous decade.
Have you tried any kind of psychedelics?
No. 234325
File: 1521152233571.jpg (18.57 KB, 375x282, ObamaSmug.jpg)
>>234314>saying horrible things about their bodiesHave you been to CC's /b/ or /hb/ recently? A lot of people there get jealous and bash other users for their weight or height even when that wasn't the focus of their post. The tall girls even made a thread for themselves because they were mad about short and average girls sharing their experiences. The bitches there are crazy and most of them come from R9k or PULL which are cancerous as fuck. This place doesn't hold a candle to Crystal's obscene userbase.
No. 234330
File: 1521152902464.jpg (52.43 KB, 750x739, why.jpg)
I have no idea what's wrong with me, but I don't feel anything anymore, and I haven't for over a year. I think it started at the beginning of last year, when I got really stressed over my art work for school, to the point where I felt sick to the idea of touching my books. I never was good at handing in my work on time, but I still did it, but now I've barely done anything this whole school year. I used to be one of the best and most dedicated students beforehand though, so I've hit this brick wall, and can't find any way out.
I desperately want to catch up and get back into studying again, but I physically cant make myself do it for some reason?? I no longer feel stress, worried, have dreams and hopes or feel any emotion apart from anger and frustration from when the work I actually do looks shit. It's either nothing or just sadness. I have exams coming up in the next couple of months, and then I'm going to university, but despite my passionate dreams from when I was younger, I don't even care if I get into university or pass my exams or not. I've always wanted to study in Japan, but I don't care for the outcome anymore. I hate feeling like this, I want it to stop, but unlike being able to get rid of stress, how do you put back something that isn't there anymore?
No. 234341
>>234325>Have you been to CC's /b/ or /hb/ recently?No I haven't. That's a shame, last I checked in a couple months ago people were still civil.
>>234336Point being that the website isn't worse than this one, period. And it's silly to assert that.
No. 234630
>>234500Tap off the xanax, anon. You can do it. It's going to be hard af but once you're off, you're going to feel better.
t. anon who took years of xanax, fried my memory (and probably some of my IQ) with it and realized suicidal ideations only came when I was taking that shit.
No. 234656
>>234529you sound very young and honestly petty as hell. let people enjoy things. if she's "copying" you and finding out she's interested in the same things you are, maybe, i don't know, bond over them with her? go makeup shopping with her, tell her which beauty gurus have similar skin types to her so she'll know about how products may perform on her before she buys them, try and play 2-player games with her.
or if you hate that she "copies" you so much, just drop her.
and about the texting: there is this thing known as "code-switching" in sociology where you will speak/type differently according to who you're around. ex: you would not speak to a professor the same way you would your parents; likewise, you would not type a text to your parents the same way you would your best friend. she's probably typing like you because it's comfortable for her.
No. 234660
>>234630>suicidal ideationsfuck, too real anon. it just feels like i'm literally crazy when i'm off of this stuff because it's been in my system for too long.
thanks for the encouragement though, i'm going to try and make a change.
No. 234685
>>234354>26>Have a degree>Have a job>Can driveThat's actually a few good things that plenty of people don't have or that they want! It might seem silly but it's true.
What I'd say is since the driving is the bit that makes you start thinking of hurting yourself, is there another way you can get to work, public transport, a lift from someone else? Or a more scenic/pretty way to work if that's possible? Move closer to the job?
It might seem strange to pinpoint that but it's about trying to avoid those thoughts, so changing the situation may help.
Do you have hobbies or interests you've neglected that you can take up again/invest time into to give you more purpose?
No. 234763
File: 1521357170365.gif (1.91 MB, 250x208, 1518481664275.gif)
Last year i lost like 40 pounds entirely through CICO. I started to diet in january 2017, by like june/july 2017 i was already in my goal weight, and now in march of 2018 im still maintaining that weight. My BMI can change between 20.3 and 20.8 but i have never been lower than 19.9. As i'm sure all anons know, i'm not underweight. Never have been. never gone a full day without eating, never been able to vomit. i have self induced diarrhea like two times, but i stopped because i hated the feeling too much. it didn't become a habit because it felt terrible and it wasn't worth it to me, it happened months ago. other than those occurrences, just CICO and diet coke. no smoking or pills or anything crazy.
Anyways. Since last year i've been accused of vomiting my food. First by my mother. Now by my only other close relative, my sister. They are both convinced that i throw up my food and i'm bulimic. Thing is anons, i'm not. i've told them i'm not but they think i'm in denial. Anons, the last time i threw up was in elementary school because i ate too many pancakes…. i was like 7. But they don't believe me. I do go to therapy and my dr doesn't think i have anything close to an ED. When i told her about the time i induced myself diarrhea she just told me that i shouldn't hang out in ED/pro-ana communities and that was it. fucking hell, my therapist is a lot skinnier than i am. she knows i'm not underweight and didn't seem worried at all and didn't mention it again.
how can i convince my family that i don't have ED without sounding like ED in denial. they don't believe me and i hate it because it invalidates all this hard work i've put into losing weight and maintaining it! my bmi used to be like 28.1 and they always made comments about how fat and unhealthy i looked! and now i lose all the weight and work out and do my best and they tell me i'm a cheater and unhealthy anyway! all because i'm a former fatty and i like binging every once in a while. what do you want from me?! i'm doing the best i can!!
No. 234816
File: 1521383016367.jpeg (45.55 KB, 265x275, CB01C6CC-1C63-446D-8C95-78A5E3…)
25, dead end job, no education, wasted best years on “muh depression”, pretty sure
my bf is thinking about leaving me and tbh he should, getting fatter, no savings, no life goals no nothing what so ever WHEN WILL IT FUCKING END
No. 234991
>>234685That's a good idea. The fact that my car is a piece of shit only compounds the problem, haha. Public transport in my city is shit, but I can try asking my roommate for a lift every once in a while.
I do have hobbies I've stopped doing; I used to write poetry and do a lot of reading and journaling, but I have stopped for a long time. I tried to into bullet journaling to get myself back into the habit but it's just another thing I've been failing at doing.
No. 235022
File: 1521437581821.jpg (19.14 KB, 293x295, tumblr_mjl8eaUn0l1rjgvl7o6_400…)
>>234763Ok here's what I would do.
Reiterate to them one last time that you don't have an eating disorder and you don't appreciate the baseless accusations and mistrust. Then, spin it on them and ask them why they think you have one. Like demand proof essentially. Either they'll have some kind of a concrete reason and you can take it from there, they won't be able to come up with anything and hopefully realize they're being irrational, or they'll have some vague nothing reason meant to feel guilty, like "oh you're just so skinny and we really worry about you!!!" If they do the third one, just remain firm and conclusive like, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not clinically underweight, I've been the same weight for a long time, and I haven't done anything to make you mistrust me." In any case, don't justify yourself after that. Don't explain why you don't have an eating disorder for the billionth time. The burden of proof should always be on them. The less you give in, the more you say, "why are you still bothering me about that? why are you accusing me of lying for no reason?", the more likely it is that they'll see things your way. Just don't try to reason with them anymore because they'll see it as you acting guilty or admitting to something.
No. 235033
File: 1521451665789.jpeg (104.19 KB, 960x600, 03952551-8A3B-48E8-997D-70C893…)
>>234929You’re right, stay strong fam
No. 235082
>>235069Hey anon, I completely understand what you're going through. I struggled with Binge Eating Disorder for the better part of my teen years due to underlying mental illness that I wasn't even aware of.
I remember gaining weight like it was nothing because I'd frequently consume 6000+ calories almost every day, and of course most of that was junk food. I was addicted to my chips, daily McDonald's double cheeseburger, large fries and etc.
I vividly remember feeling exactly as you do at some point, and that's where I decided to stop. I'm not going to say its been easy… I wish it was. First things first is I went and got professional help. I saw a therapist and pinpointed where my eating disorder may have started, then I worked through therapy which gave me the tools necessary to start recovery.
Its been a long road but I'm here two years later struggling a lot less than I did before. I still cave to junk food cravings but I don't over eat or emotionally eat anymore. I've lost about 50lbs the past year, though I could have lost more if I put more effort into working out I think.
Anyway, I do recommend possibly talking to a specialist about this to start. You may also have some underlying problems that need to be brought to light before you can work on improving. Other than that I think my biggest piece of advice would be to train yourself to portion your meals. Include snacks, but eat them in moderation. This kind of addiction will not go away easily, as I'm sure you're aware. But guess what? you're already on the right track by recognizing the problem. Go get checked for diabetes again if you're this scared about it, then from there please talk to your doctor about options whether it's a dietitian or otherwise. You need help and that's ok anon. Everything will be fine, you just need to take it one step at a time.
No. 235095
File: 1521481185595.gif (413.39 KB, 250x250, D706033F-265C-408D-8D50-3FD673…)
>>235082I love you, anon. Thank you for this.
I suppose I binge on sugary foods because physical sensations have become some of the only things that bring me satisfaction/happiness. I used to self-harm so this makes sense. This health scare has been an important reality check, though… I’m really am going to try to get a hold on this.
Anyways, thank you again for restoring some of my sanity. Good luck on your journey as well.
No. 235139
File: 1521496867557.gif (378.45 KB, 630x360, ezgif.com-resize_1484213781-63…)
Since I realized that my future plans that I worked towards to are not going to happen this year, I lost pretty much every kind of motivation in every way I had before.
I wanted to move to a new place, therefore I worked a lot to save up money and learned a new language because that is being spoken in the country I wanted to move (it's next to my homecountry but still) and just start a new chapter in life. Besides that I loved to make lot's of art and go to concerts etc.
BUT a five months ago I just thought about my plans and realized how unrealistic they are? How worthless my entire education was and that the degree I have isn't something I want do for the rest of life?
Idk it's not only that but I just had a couple of days that made me - realize things how pointless everything was?
And since then I really lost all my excitement for everything? I stopped making art (last proper drawing was made in November?) I don't bother to learn the language that I was so excited to learn, even forgot a lot of what I knew? Don't bother to do anything anymore? Barely speak to my friends, don't reply to messages?
Everyday I just wake up, go to work, come home, eat, do stuff aka listen to music for 5 hours straight, maybe clean up my place, get ready for tomorrow and then sleep.
I couldn' even motivate myself to get the birthday present done for my friend that lives in the US. Usually I love to make it done on time so she can have it on her bday (which is tomorrow) but this time I don't even started with anything yet.
I don't know and honestly I don't care about anything anymore. Why should I care when nothing works out the way I want it for at least once. Everything seems so pointless.
No. 235181
>>235095No problem, I'm glad I can help. If you need to vent again you can count on me being here in he thread to help you out again. I check it every night or two.
Your worries are valid, your struggle is valid. You just need to get up and get some help!
No. 235462
>>234763This. I'm overweight and have been "trying" (Not really, but at least I attempted) to lose weight for the pas few years, but my family members think that I'm trying to starve myself despite them complaining about me being fat. My own grandmother even accused me of being bulimic.
I just have bad gas and stomach problems.
No. 235514
File: 1521568121081.jpg (32.21 KB, 275x146, 1519197522448.jpg)
>narcissistic mother accuses you of being a cold, egotistical bitch because you want to take 300$ out of YOUR well earned 2500$ (1500$ of them having been used for family needs like grocery shopping, a new washing machine and three different eyeglasses for my mom) to get laser
>she's been legit harrassing you and yelling at you over it for three weeks, to the point that you're on the fence about doing it because of the huge fight that would happen if you did it
Thank goodness one month and I'll be out of here, with a brand new bank account which access she won't have. Let me live
No. 235522
File: 1521569183716.jpg (52.12 KB, 600x600, tumblr_lzib62deY61rp5jfvo1_400…)
I just had a falling out with some internet "friends".
We were talking about terrorism and i said that there i live (middle europe) the by far biggest threat are islamists. I also showed them some examples of attacks there people died, yet they continued to claim that white supremacism is a much bigger problem and even went so far as to call me a racist… ugh
No. 235529
>>235522Were those friends from the U.S., Canada, or some other country where muslims only make up a tiny sliver of the overall population? I see this a lot with left-leaning people from those countries. I live in the U.S. state of Minnesota (more terrorist recruits from here than any other state! Hooray!), and the muslims cause more than enough problems here.
Try showing them this video, if you think they'll watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V00wqe_l_1Q I've had success with transforming peoples' views of the "religion of peace" with it. Good for you for not giving into their pressure. Europe needs more people like you.
No. 235558
File: 1521576934653.gif (948.87 KB, 500x271, anigif_enhanced-buzz-15726-143…)
>>235535Oh, i'm not a 'minority'.
They see themselves as one (despite being just as white as me), for example "i'm french canadian and therefore british canadians discriminate against me!" or they're 1/16 of something and/or trans.
And of course the other person who's 100% european hates 'himself' for being just "plain, boring white trash"…
No. 235577
>>235567I have the same problem, just a little worse as i'm shy, anxious and not social at all.
Sometimes i tried making friends, like e.g. taking a seat next to a friendly looking girl in Uni. I think we get along well, but when i see her the next week, she's sitting next to another girl she's met later and somehow immediately got along with…
So what's wrong with me?
No. 235618
File: 1521590001684.png (287.09 KB, 500x486, me.png)
Can anyone tell me if I'm overreacting or reading too much into this?
At the beginning of the semester, I noticed a guy in my class staring at me. I figured it was because I wore shirts from the same pop culture thing he did (not intentional at all, but from the first day on I wore them he only wore clothing related to it… sorry for being vague). I talked about my boyfriend to my classmates (not annoyingly, just like someone asking how my weekend was and saying "Oh my boyfriend and I did __.") I know he had to have heard me mention my boyfriend before. The staring hasn't stopped though and now I've legit caught him a few times and boy was that some awkward eye contact.
Now, I'm one of those girls that thinks people are always crushing on her. I read into stuff a lot, and hell, the dude hasn't even spoken to me. But the staring has increased, and I think he's following me out of the classroom and watching me get picked up from school now. (In college, can't drive.) He kinda lurks in a corner smoking and just watching and I made eye contact with him on accident WHILE I was driving by in the car. It was super creepy.
A few weeks ago he mentioned he was divorced with a kid. I was kinda shocked because I thought he was at least my age or a few years older. Well, after some prominent staring today I decided to Facebook stalk him and I'm kinda worried.
His ex-wife looks… very, very similar to me. He's also 10 years older than me. And my curiosity got the best of me and I found out his ex applied for an order of protection against him before. It didn't give a lot of details but it did say domestic violence.
Maybe it's because I read that The Gift of Fear book a month ago but I am legit scared of this dude. It's just a gut feeling. He skeeves me out something bad and my heart just dropped seeing what his ex looks like. I've had a few nightmares about him now.
Am I just crazy overreacting? Is it just a dude staring at me and I'm reading into stuff too much? He probably thinks I'm into him because I keep looking at him too, hahaha.
No. 235627
>>235618He sounds like he's into you and he sounds really fucking gross that he's 10 years older and has a domestic battery. Try not to stare back at him, act like you're not even thinking about him but do watch your back and notice when something is wrong. Like
>>235624 said, trust your gut. This guy has red flags written all over him.
No. 235716
I spent all day waiting on people to get back to me so I could get a bag of weed, but 12 hours of waiting and now I’m just gonna have to accept that I won’t be sleeping tonight. I wish people weren’t so fucking unreliable and flaky.
I have something wrong wit my stomach, some days the cramping and heartburn are so bad that I vomit foamy yellow stuff when I haven’t eaten anything, and some days I can’t eat at all without either feeling like I’m eating manure (lately I get these weird “moods” where every food looks and tastes revolting, they last from 1-2 hours to an entire day or more) or just vomiting our whatever I try to swallow. My GP put me on medication for the nausea and something to help with my stomach acid levels, but it sucks because they don’t do anything to make me want to eat or able to eat. I’m not anorexic or bulimic, but I was kind of an alcoholic about two years ago and I think that might be what started all this. It wasn’t as bad as it is now, in fact it feels like now it’s the result of just not being able to go to a doctor about it for so long. I’ve been looking into chrohn’s disease and the symptoms but I’m just not sure, something is hella wrong with my stomach and it’s starving me out and making me miserable. I’m gonna mention it to my GP again when I see him, but I’m a poorfag and he has so many patients like me (I’m so broke I get free insurance- in America) that it’ll be another couple of weeks before that happens.
Smoking weed helps the cramps and my appetite, the meds help the nausea and heartburn, but goddamn people around here are so unreliable. All I hear from people is how they always have weed, until I run out and I spend literally an entire day looking for even ~2 grams, so I can roll two fat blunts to get myself right, one to eat and one to sleep. But no, instead I’m gonna be spending my day off today with no sleep, because I spent all night tossing and turning with a cramping, empty stomach and the conflicting feelings of “your body needs food, badly” and “everything you put in your mouth tastes like shit or vomit and your stomach will throw it out anyway”.
And to make things even better, I don’t have any friends to vent to, to talk to just to distract me from whatever the hell this is. I have acquaintances, but none of them smoke or have any medical problems so it just feels like I’m complaining to them because we aren’t really close on an emotional level.
No. 235791
>>235755I’ll mention that to my GP when I see him again, thanks!
>Smoke irritates the stomach lining though, which will make it worse.I get that, but tbh unless he caves and gives me sleeping pills and an appetite stimulant, weed helps a lot more than it hurts. I just wish I did t have o wait so long to see my dr.
No. 236195
>>236159>Originally I wanted to do this because another board member really wanted to but in the end he hasn't done anything If I ever learned anything, don't do this. Always comes out wrong and bad. Do the things you actually want to do.
Good luck anon! I'm rooting for you!
No. 236251
>>236239Why not get a second part time job? If that's all that's available you gotta make it work.
You can also be trapped in a particularly bad full-time which'll make you feel worse. You have more freedom maintaining two. As long as you get agreed fixed shifts on the both.
No. 236257
File: 1521805364962.png (1.69 MB, 1440x1992, upstanding kekistanian.png)
>>236252
>right wing trannies are a valuable resource
my sides are in orbit. if you guys are going to colonize the solar system, you should start by flying directly into the sun.
No. 236263
File: 1521808062491.jpg (117 KB, 786x1017, 50047.jpg)
Somehow got a rat infestation. They fucking came out of NO WHERE. This has never happened before.
I saw one in my grandmother's house, now they are EVERYWHERE. One even crawled into a microwaveable bowl that I just ate out of.
Help me.
No. 236350
>>236349also to add to reasons, i suspect he has cheated on me or is into paying for sex work.
i've been told at the start of dating him he went to see prostitutes. he has spoken about men in his work handing out business cards for tai massages with happy endings and it being a big laugh. i suspect he's went if other stories are true. i found granny porn links on his kindlefire which he denies is his history??? i found out about 2 years into our relationship when he started dating me he was still sleeping with the girl he told me he dumped. he also had been in contact with his mental ex for 2 years into our relationship and was allowing her to shit talk me. he never degrades her to me, but i've saw emails in which he allows his ex to degrade me. his ex has also invaded my privacy and seeked out my old landlord and people you would not believe to get info on me. there are some insults my boyfriend has used on me that cut me deep because they are things people from my past have said about me that i have not told him. i don't know who his source is but I honestly don't trust him and any time I push the matter he becomes aggressive.
Honeslty I think I have lost so much self confience and esteem in this relationship. Before it I was engaged but left the guy. I met this guy and he swept me off my feet, but then I would find out at much later dates that all those things I thought were special were protocol etc.
Also his exes have all been complete fucking munters. I feel like I'm trying to save face like I did in my last relationship by working hard on it and over compensating for what it lacked. I'll be 30 in a couple of years and I don't want to be as pathetic as my bofriend. God I think I'm going to dump him. I really hate feeling so inferior
No. 236353
>>236350>>236349Dude you've still got some years ahead of you, save yourself and run.
>>236340Same goes for you.
I used to date a shitty guy who would make fun of me for being nice to him (?!), act really sketchy and hide everything, casually neg and insult me, treat girls he talks to online better than his own girlfriend. Like you, I'd been in a loving relationship (a long time before this guy came along though) before so I have some frame of reference as to how a guy is supposed to treat you.
I'm telling you now, he does not love you. All you're going to be years down the line is tired, bitter and miserable. Don't work on it, he won't change. He's clearly done this before. Feeling inferior is not good at all, that's not how a good partner is supposed to make you feel. I don't usually say this, but DUMP ASAP.
No. 236446
>>236350This bit
>there are some insults my boyfriend has used on me that cut me deep because they are things people from my past have said about me that i have not told him. i don't know who his source is but I honestly don't trust him and any time I push the matter he becomes aggressive.Is really psycho wth. Like he's actually gone
looking for personal things to insult you with. That's not a boyfriend, that's an enemy. Just really creepy and petty. All of it. DUMP
No. 236477
File: 1521855538061.jpeg (14.74 KB, 300x168, remember.jpeg)
>going thru Bojangles drive thru
>wanted to be extra fatty and get a side of fries and cajun gravy for dipping
>done this before and it's not an issue, usually just say the gravy is extra or w/e
>tell employee what I want
>can tell by his tone and verbiage he's either high, young, new, or all
>asked to repeat, then silence
>different lady cuts on speaker and says they can't do it and how I could only get either fries or mashed potatoes not both
>some other explaining that I can barely understand or make sense of
>?didn't ask for mashed taters tho?
>non-confrontational and also confused, just ask for fries only
>original speaker tells me to "come again" which makes it super awkward to pull up to the window
>hear sniggering between him and rando lady as I approach window
>realize these stoners thought I was either asking for both fries + mashed potatoes at the same time
>or that I was expecting them to mix the gravy with the fries
Super weird. I don't know why I didn't just drive away after getting the order wrong, and I'm kind of put off the meal anyway.
Now I feel like a faggot. I shoulda just gone to work today.
No. 236586
>>236443This is a really excellent point anon, I never really thought about it this way but it seems valid.
>>236413I don't get this either. How women become like this. Here's a little story. I'm the office manager for a small printing company, and together with another young woman, we pretty much ran the business. It was just us the two in the office handling everything. Anyways, she was moving to another state so we needed to find her a replacement. We had lots of applicants but I'll never forget this one.
Asked her about her current job and why she wanted to leave. She proceeded to tell me about how it was too much "drama" because there were too many women, and started to list of all the negative female stereotypes you could possibly think up. She said, "I just want to get to work like one of the guys." I just let her words hang in the air, and looked at my coworker in disbelief. Like, who the fuck are you talking to? There were just us 3 women in the interview room. Didn't call her back and I hope she knows this is why. Crazy ppl out there..
No. 236645
File: 1521924950140.jpg (167.49 KB, 679x650, tumblr_myh28x2kK51qignkgo1_128…)
>tfw in a store
>pass by a cute tall tomboy looking girl
>hate myself because I can't stop secretly staring and it reminds me of how gay I am
I feel really ashamed about it sometimes, even more when I try to suppress it
Girls are just really cute, man
No. 236661
File: 1521929147217.png (18.82 KB, 512x288, 1502481244638.png)
>>236657I think you misinterpreted my post anon, I'm pretty bad at wording stuff tho
but what I mean is it's hard for me to be attracted other girls without feeling ashamed
No. 236665
File: 1521931721440.jpg (225.74 KB, 1080x1080, oxpyudk8kp1vemed4o1.jpg)
>>236657>sound like ur stroking ur ego for not being straightdid your parents drop you as a baby?
>>236645i understand, anon. its hard to come to terms with being a lesbian… but its possible! there's nothing wrong with being attracted to women as a woman. try to fight that inner voice, its lying to you.
honestly, women are so beautiful that i think it'd be weirder to not be attracted to them lmao No. 236670
File: 1521935780480.png (99.85 KB, 300x278, 1516569733569.png)
>>236665Thank you anon, I appreciate that amazing reply
it's a bit of a struggle to accept it but I'm working on it!(I've already come out to my sisters but not my parents yet)
I have no idea what this other anon's problem is
No. 236673
File: 1521936314360.jpeg (44.56 KB, 500x375, 73CADD25-5C9B-47BD-B362-104391…)
I dropped a flashlight onto my car engine while trying to check my oil level and the batteries popped out and fell down into my engine. I got 2 of the 3 from under the car, but I’ve reached and looked and poked all around and can’t find the last one. How fucked am I? I’m scared to even drive it or the battery might, idk, overheat and explode or something and eat through part of my engine. I don’t know any mechanics and I’m too broke to take it to one either.
No. 236707
File: 1521955964606.jpg (114.64 KB, 700x695, 1520836249599.jpg)
I know it's nbd but I was arguing with this retarded male on fb today who wouldn't turn down his chan power level (greentexting on fb, cringey shit talking, etc.) and he actually got to the point where he said something to the effect of
>SAYING MEAN THINGS ON THE INTERNET IS ME BETTERING SOCIETY BECAUSE IF I SHAME PEOPLE ENOUGH THEY WILL CHANGE
Felt like linking him here so he can take a look at our unchanged cows throughout the years. What a fag.
No. 236748
>2k18 resolution to stop wasting the last years of my 20s being single, joinn 3 dating apps
>messages from some cute guys, chat with them and things are goin well for a while, trying to wait and see which one will make a move first
>except slowly, one by one, they each turn into fuckbois
>guy 1: “I know we just met and haven’t even gone out yet, but I think you should come spend the weekend with me! We can chill and watch Netflix together!”
>me: well that sounds nice but I’d rather meet up somewhere and hang out during the day first, just to get to know you more bc that’s more comfortable for me than spending a weekend with a stranger
>guy 1: “oh okay, totally understandable!”
>guy 1 stops replying and blocks me
>guy 2 was slightly better, had more in common with him but after the 3rd unsolicited dick pic I got angry
>me: if I didn’t respond to it the first two times, why would the third pic make me lose control and fly into a horny rage?
>guy 2: “well fuck me, I thought you were interested in me is all” then he blocked me
>guy 3 was okay but slightly annoying because he kept saying “I don’t expect this to go anywhere, but if you want something to develop I’m down to see where it goes”, which means “I know you’re looking for a relationship, I’m not but I don’t want to say that because I think I have a chance to fuck”. I finally broke down and asked him if he was just trying to get laid and he at least admitted it… then when I told him “thanks but no thanks” he tried to backpedal and say we had ~bonded~ so much over the last week, and how he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing my face and lips all day and how bad he wanted to meet me and blah blah blah.
What the fuck is wrong with men? The can’t even pretend to be interested in anything but pussy, and they can’t even try to be less transparent and obvious about it.
No. 236791
File: 1522011561677.jpg (37.69 KB, 737x458, 100percent.jpg)
>>236707i feel like this 100% applies to this dude lmao
No. 236792
File: 1522011977499.jpeg (7.67 KB, 183x275, iwanttodie.jpeg)
My discord is 0.25 retarded tumblrinas, 0.25 spoonies on disability who complain about so much as a stubbed toe, 0.25 cringey oversharing weebs and 0.25 all of it combined.
And I can't leave because my friend is admin and is so proud of managing those adult babies.
Kill me now lmao
No. 236794
>>236792So delete them?
It’s your fault for adding them and it’s not a real problem
No. 236804
>>236802Pretty much lol. Thanks for explaining.
>>236794It's minor bitching compared to what's usually going down in this thread, but since everyone constantly @s everyone else, I get notifications left and right about the most ridiculous shit. It's a constant cow circlejerk.
No. 236856
File: 1522020040722.jpeg (176.76 KB, 640x973, D3808AF4-3234-49A1-9354-7837BE…)
>>236757I hate how guys know to try and hide that shit at first and act sane, too. I guess it makes it funnier later when they slip up though.
Pic related, another dating app fuckboi I deleted because, well, look. He was really good at talking himself in circles and trying to shove words in my mouth, as well as referring to me as “you women” in plural because apparently we are a hive mind?
No. 236954
I’m considering suicide. For the last 3 years I’ve been in a co-dependent relationship with my boyfriend. He is now 36, and I am 23. He took me in and helped me get better after watching me nearly neglect myself to death as a result of my (actually diagnosed, legitimate) PTSD/bipolar onset in combination w/ prescription addiction. I had also just left a 5 year relationship before I shacked up with him, in which my ex was also a sort of "care taker" whenever I got bad
Fast forward to now: the relationship has always been borderline abusive. I'm living alone again, because I can't decide if I want him or if I just NEED him. But we are still together and seeing each other regularly. I haven't been single in 7 years, since I was 16 years old… and I can't take care of myself, simple things like eating or sleeping wreck me. Legitimate mental illness isn't funny. I've lost a lot of weight, and I was already significantly underweight. I haven’t been sleeping at all.
The cherry on the sundae, is this! I'm having a love affair with my supervisor at work, and I have been for quite some time. It is a very professional office setting, and wrong on many levels because of the job we do, and because he's older than my father… he's now wildly obsessed with me, and the guilt in combination with my inability to take care of myself, self-hatred and grief accumulated from the 7 years of committed dating and never, ever being single or self sufficient/truly alone in my teenage or adult life is really pushing me towards just ending it. Not to mention the added aspect of fucking my boss, and risking my job, and not being able to say anything to anyone, or express to anyone what's really, truly happening in my life
No. 236956
>>236954Well yeah, fucking your boss is never really a smart move because now if you want to end that relationship you have no idea if he'll power trip and fire you over the perceived rejection. I doubt your 36 year old abusive bf would want to still be with you if he'd find this out too. Shit if you came clean about fucking your boss he'd probably hold it over your head forever if he wouldn't just dump you.
Do you really need either of these men?
You already mentioned you're living alone again, yeah? Things like eating and sleeping appropriately can be learned over time. You can adapt like everyone else. Most people learn how to take care of themselves in the years when they are alone. When they're
forced to face it. It seems scary, but I assure you it's also very common and normal. Being alone sometimes is normal. Not having had a single year to yourself since you were 16 is not normal.
Yet seeing as though you have PTSD/bipolar I really don't know how it will be different for you. It's just that suicide is an extreme reaction to this situation. I'm not surprised that you feel suicidal because you've driven yourself into a vulnerable state, but from an outsider's perspective this all can be handled even if it seems overwhelming right now.
No. 237027
>>235139I can see myself in your posting.
When I was out of high school I had high hopes for the future. Wanted to go up the career ladder, make tons of money and be rich. Fulfill my dreams that I could never fulfill as I was born into a poor family. Somewhere in 2nd year of college I realized that everything is pointless and that I cannot make it into the corporate world with my personality. I gave up and now I ask myself why I should even continue to live.
In my life there is nothing worth to live for anymore. The "best" times I have are when I am on weekends at home slacking away my free time and beeing in full unemployed mode like I was a few months ago. Oversleeping until 2pm, wasting time on internet and eating unhealthy crap while neglecting hygiene. When I grew up I looked down on drug addicts but today I realize that I am no different from them on weekends. If there would be no social obligation to actually look like a decent human beeing at work, I would probably arrive as fucked up at work too.
Deep in my heart I know that I cannot continue with this life like that forever. People were not meant to be like that and I feel like I am a defective human. At the same time I don't have the courage to suicide so I live in a constant grey zone of wanting to die and barely surviving another week.
>>236349I am 26 and have 40K in liquid assets and still want to die every day. At least your bf seems like he had some fun in his life. You can always start saving up for something but when you have no goals in life and nothing has meaning to you anymore, everything else is worthless. However, I am really sorry that your bf seems to be a bad person. I wish your relationship with him could have ended in a happy ending.
No. 237060
>>237037Hopefully your teachers won’t take it out on you, and if they seem to maybe just let them know you disagree with her actions as well and you’re both on the same side.
It sucks having a mum who acts like that. Mine is a narcissist and I still go red thinking about the cashiers she has abused over the years.
Keep your chin up anon, you weren’t the rude one, and you can stop any hard feelings misdirected at you.
No. 237082
File: 1522104216193.jpg (126.14 KB, 1052x631, 1518813402500.jpg)
Sorry to be whining about ~le weed~ but holy shit I wish I could live in a legal state.
I split a half with my bf's friend (I didn't really get a choice, I wanted it for myself tho) and I made it stretch for over a week. Now it's gone and I'm too socially anxious to contact bf's friend to get more. The whole thing feels awkward because I have to go to him for the connect every time. And of course the process takes literal days.
I failed to make connections when I moved to this red state, so I'm lucky my bf is in an industry where smoking is common and he has friends who do. Sure as shit couldn't risk asking about at my job.
I'd give anything to be able to walk into a shop and just pick what I want without having to go through middle men. And dealing with questionable quality. I know I'm overpaying for what I'm getting.
–
I don't have a mental dependency on it or anything, like I don't have personality changes just because I don't have any right now. Yet internally I get depressed because it just makes my life nicer.
It helps me sleep and allows me to feel less bad about my terrible job. It's like I look forward to smoking a bowl and relaxing when I get home, because other than that I have nothing to look forward to day by day.
No. 237093
File: 1522107059646.jpg (72.67 KB, 500x337, tumblr_n7bqvjf6yw1qga9r1o1_500…)
>Ex-colleague sends to me
>jealous and possessive even though we never ever had a thing going
>makes inappropriate and/or sexual comments
>wants to know what I'm doing, who I'm with, why I'm doing it all the time
>tell him I'm not interested in him and never have been
>tell him his texts make me uncomfortable and I won't be replying again
>suddenly I have an influx of texts from random numbers and calls from hidden callers
>turns out my loser coworker put my phone number online
No. 237115
i had sex with my ex again and i really hate that we were together for 2 hours, haven't met in 2 months and within about 5 minutes everything felt like it was back to normal and i just felt right with him and i haven't felt properly right since we broke up 3 months ago. i don't want to be someone stuck hung up on an ex forever but it always just feels so right with him. i don't think he feels as strongly as i do but i do believe him when he says he misses me and still loves me, but he's tried to get with people since we broke up and i haven't. i feel so pathetic and paranoid for sitting hours later and picking apart things he said that makes me think he's been with someone else since me.
we did have issues, it was definitely never perfect because neither of us have ideal lives rn, but we never argued in person or had any tension or anything like that because it felt so much more comfortable. any fight was when we were separated and couldn't really deal with our own stress and he couldn't handle another person's problems on top of his own. i've been trying to make myself think of all the things i didn't like about him or our relationship and i just come up empty because my only problem with him was that i wanted him to be happier and i couldn't just take him out his life situation and make things better, and sometimes i really hated his family.
his mum especially is just a horrible, narcissistic person. she uses him as a free babysitter and cleaner way more than is reasonable and he really thinks his family only giving him a couple of free hours every couple of days where he doesn't have responsibilities at home when he's 20 is normal. he won't stand up to them because he thinks it's normal to parent his siblings more than their actual parents do. if he doesn't have work then he takes them to and from school every day, makes them food, watches them until later, maybe gets a couple hours off and then has to put them to bed. while they're at school he cleans the house and the whole time his mum sits on the couch and eats and posts inspirational quotes on facebook. it's the kind of stuff that's totally normal now and then but it's literally all the time.
he's never had a friend at his house before but at least once a week he has an extra 5 or 7 year old to look after because one of the kids has a friend over from school. it's never appreciated as him doing a nice thing to help, it's just expected and we had to cancel plans before because his mum decided at the last minute that she wanted to go out for dinner so he had to babysit. she openly made fun of him when i was there to a point that was way past alright and got right into everything he was insecure about. she took her own insecurities out on him and on me for not being a perfect catholic housewife like she wanted. whenever we went out to eat she'd make comments about how much the two of us ate, when at most we're a little chubby and she's the biggest person i've ever seen irl and not on a reality show.
he's been cracking under the pressure they put on him to act like a 3rd parent since he was a teenager and also to get rich asap because they don't think he can be successful if he doesn't earn £50k+. he'd have panic attacks and cry when he managed to get a minute away from them but even now when he's getting mental health help he'll excuse everything they do to him and blame himself instead. she told him to kill himself when he was having a lot of panic attacks a while after he started medication and he defends her by saying he made them late for dinner reservations so she had a right to be that angry. it hurts a lot to see someone i really love and want to be with be stuck in that house instead. even if i don't get to be with him again i really want him to see how fucked up his home life is and see he doesn't deserve to be treated like he doesn't matter
No. 237117
>>237082anon i feel ya, i'm constantly on the search for contacts, it's illegal in my country and it's agony when no one can sort me lol
I like to think I don't depend on it, but I've been smoking pretty much daily since my early 20s. I feel unless you can get a reliable source you have to practice rationing. It sucks.>>237087
No. 237275
Two years ago I was sexually assaulted by my boss and her husband. I never pressed charges because she had taken incriminating photos from my phone as blackmail. I quit quickly and quietly and washed my hands of it. This chick's nearly 30 and has been calling me, or spamming me with calls almost every single day since then. I can't block her or get a new number for a few reasons, but whatever, I can ignore a call or two. if its important it goes to voicemail anyway. What pisses me off is that NOW, no contact, no provocation, this cunt is harrassing my family. I want to press charges but I'm sure it's too fucking late. I at least wish she'd get caught harassing me while she's at work because she's doing that on company time, but I'm sure that would only make her attacks worse. My biggest fear is her finding out where I live, because she has a history of stalking people who 'piss her off' or just don't want to go along with her rape fantasies. I'm a nice fucking person, that's the real problem, I don't want to go out of my way to get her fired or file a police report. I just want to be left alone. Fuck.
No. 237312
>>237117It does suck, and the rationing never truly lets me relax around it because I have to constantly think if I'm smoking too fast, if it's worth it to pack an extra bowl or save it for tomorrow, etc. You know?
So last night I brought it up and bf told me to text the friend.
He told us to come over and he smoked me up.
We all just sit around a table and shoot the shit.
It's nice and all, not many people would do that, but I kinda wanted to buy. Not just get high at someone's house and drive back.
Low key it's kind of awkward because the friend has an older roommate–she's sweet–but I can't help feeling like I'm getting high with someone's mom.
>>237275She sounds like a murderer in the making. Please go to police anon, especially if you still have the voicemails/call logs. It's not too late! Stalking people who "piss her off" is not normal behavior, neither is harassing your family.
Which btw, isn't your family concerned?
No. 237386
>>237375thanks, they're flat peeling dark marks now. Ive found the maybelline fit me primed poreless foundation is pretty good, comes in my skintone, and only $5. i just hate how it makes lines after my sunscreen/moisturizer under it dries up and i'm always fixing it constantly.
>>237381>>237383this is the first skin problem i've ever had and i'm 99% sure its all the sudden stress and chaos, but I guess i'm used to it now. i'll look into those products once I can buy them. thanks!
No. 237413
>>237407I feel that it's slowly happening. There are a lot of detransition videos on YouTube now compared to a few years ago.
I mean I'm not hoping people turn from full trans because I'm smug or have a point to prove. I genuinely don't want people maiming themselves and destroying their mental health over something they can never truly attain.
No. 237466
>>237426I remember year 2006-2009 when youtube was a hobby and people would have unprofessional videos but they were funny and they had soul. Now you have all those wannabes producing professional-looking videos in hopes of revenues.
What happened to just uploading funny home videos or tributes to your favorite band/show/whatever. Even if the quality is not that good, at least it doesn't feel artificial and for money only.
No. 237467
>>237466My thoughts exactly, anon.
Always gives me a chuckle anyway that vloggers have these overproduced, micro-edited videos 20 minutes long just to talk about how they took a shit today. The majority of the cuts are them obsessively touching their hair/face or making these super overacted, unfunny facial expressions. Oooo, so professional.
I roll my eyes so hard at Youtubers these days. Of course each one thinks their content is uber important too.
No. 237468
File: 1522263637718.jpeg (235.59 KB, 500x485, 433C91BC-28AC-44B5-9E32-E78DF7…)
>today is my day off, beautiful warm sunny weather, feeling hella good so I send a good morning snap to a few (3) friends asking what’s up and who wants to hang
>two of them left me on read
>one was kind of half-replying to me, stuff like “I just got up” and other generic stuff not related to me asking her to hang
>now she’s not even opening my snaps & has posted her own “I’m off today, who wants to hang?” snap on her story
>well fuck too too bitch
Why are people like this? Is it so hard to fucking say “sorry, I don’t feel like it”? I’m getting sick of it being socially okay to just stop and leave someone hanging mid conversation without even responding to them.
No. 237479
File: 1522265228436.jpg (63.8 KB, 522x640, f14.jpg)
Sorry if this is tmi but I have spicy butthole since last night and the food I ate made me constipated too. Trying not to rub my spicy butthole raw but god damn I have to go to work in a couple hours but I have to take a spicy shit every hour too.
I'm half tempted to go to the store and pick up some mag citrate from the store so I can just power dump everything from my bowels. This suffering shouldn't have to continue.
No. 237567
>>237479i'm sorry you're suffering anon but I got a good chuckle out of this lol. also
>that picmatt looks scary as fuck
No. 237576
>>237501This is wrong on so many levels. Does your mum have a history of involving you with things like this? If this is out of the ordinary she is begging for your help, imo. Call the police. Do something.
On the other hand, if this is a pattern for her, and she draws you into situations you shouldn't have to be exposed to, that's fucked up. She's an adult and you're her child. Of course you'd be upset. What matters here are her intentions. You know her. If this is unusual, absolutely find help. It's not your responsibility though, in any way shape or form. Protect yourself first.
I'm sorry anon. You don't deserve this.
No. 237627
>>237466>>237467Oh I agree, but this is obviously not a passion project for this girl but something to get attention for/grab money with. It's literally her in her room "teaching" really easy English shit to Japanese people. If you want to do shit like that, you might indeed wish to up your production value.
>>237599Tell him to wank it out. Seriously, if you're not in the mood you're not in the mood, and if you have other things on your mind you have other things on your mind. Have you tried talking about your issues (not the sex issue, the other one) to friends or family? I mean it doesn't seem like he wants to hear it.
No. 237635
>>237629I feel you anon, I live in Korea and am vising my family in the states for a few weeks do to a family death. I packed a weeks worth of normal clothes and makeup that I wear everyday on a normal bases, but I've just been sitting here in my pajamas and wearing the jeans and tshirts I bought. Theres just nothing to do in my podunk little southern hometown and it feels weird to go out dressed up and with my makeup done when everybody in walmart looks like they just walked out of bed.
I honestly could have just brought a small backpack worth of clothes and makeup and would have been fine lmfao
No. 237639
>>237636Nayrt but being in a place where nobody cares to look nice
does make it harder to give a fuck about looking good. Nobody wants to be the one person in the crowd who is overdressed, and when you're used to seeing literally everyone in band shirts, basketball shorts and plastic flip flops with a lazy bun smooshed on top of their heads you just stop trying.
No. 237649
>>237640Honestly the best way I’ve found to deal with it is just give them blank face and say ‘okay’ ‘yes it is a dress’ etc
Make it obvious that they are weird for thinking it’s weird to wear something nicer than ancient sweats or their formal jeans.
No. 237652
File: 1522301000711.gif (1.77 MB, 250x141, 1463263949093.gif)
>>237636>'cute' but not pretty enough to be considered a threat by other women nor attract creepy men >throw on a mid tier dress everyday for work>get complimented by female coworkers all the time for low effort shit without the underhanded tonesFeels good man.
No. 237653
>>237576Thanks anon.
Yeah she has a history of involving me in her personal life like that, I had to listen to violent argument between her and my dad or her bfs/husbands all my life, I really don't know what to do about it.
I just can't get used to it, everytime it's just as upsetting to me.
No. 237654
File: 1522303458663.jpeg (17.86 KB, 480x332, 1647D06D-E5AD-4634-BA1E-4DA359…)
I just want to be allowed to somehow have my spoopy body but also not be sick. I can’t stand how heavy I feel at a recovered weight and even though a size 2 isn’t big it feels absolutely massive..like my 600 lb life fat.
I want to he small and hard and cold physically, being healthy feels gross. I hate my body’s obligations and needs and weaknesses and okay yeah that’s my stupid disorder talking maybe but it never stops.
Why can’t I be one of those scrawny girls who just gets to be scrawny but not sick.
No. 237657
>>237656I don’t have much body fat as it is, and super cut girls look disgusting imo.
I’m not okay with any bulk.im dumb and really only see bony as okay. Abs look as bad as a belly imo. I know how stupid it is but I’ve only ever come close to accepting my body when it looked dead, right down to the cyanosis.
Calisthenics help prevent excessive softness but I won’t do anything to make my muscles larger. I can crack a watermelon with my thighs and they’re so mannish and round and ugh. More muscle seems like it would only look bulky.
(Yes I know I’m stupid)
No. 237660
File: 1522310586335.jpg (23.09 KB, 500x500, 976567898765.jpg)
>tfw having phone sex with ldr bf and he forgot to charge phone so it dies it the middle of it
No. 237674
File: 1522317162767.jpeg (975.18 KB, 1242x1047, 65436984-A717-4341-94F8-AE9409…)
>single
>spends most days getting drunk and crying over guys and having one night stands with people from tinder
>waaaah i just want a stable relationship with a man who gets me
>gets boyfriend
>great relationship with a man who supports me and gives me all of his love and attention
>waaaah I just want to go back to having fun drinking and fucking around again
No. 237677
I’m stuck in a situation where I can’t move out of a place we share with my boyfriends brother and I can’t stand the dude.
Total robot, does nothing but work, gym, anime, vidya. Laziest prick I’ve ever known. Throws fruit into the recycling because the bin is a meter away, will take your damp washing out of the dryer to put his own in, leaves shit everywhere, daily splashes dirty water and mud all over the bathroom, thinks his groceries belong spread out over three meters of bench space but will get passive aggressive if he needs to move a coffee spoon a few centimetres from where I left it.
The dude will watch Netflix for 8 hours straight and just lie there, like some lump waiting for his mum to cook his dinner.
He doesn’t change his bedding except for the one time he overheard me saying he hadn’t done it in six months, before f and I moved in he was happily showering in a mouldy stall and the toilet was stained so badly it took a half hour of steam and scrubbing to look like porcelain again.
I know he’s all in love with some girl who doesn’t want to be his waifu but damn dude..do something other than make a seven bedroom house stink like farts and mope.
Don’t leave your protein shake cups in your cat for days (in the Australian summer no less) and then get pissy about the smell of vinegar when I soak them..be grateful I’m doing you a favour. Next time I’ll let you just rinse them in warm water and get sick you slob.
He has no excuse for being like this, he’s 26 and developmentally normal. He wasn’t coddled or abused or anything like that, he’s not mentally ill. He’s just lazy and entitled and gross.
Fuck this guy.
No. 237719
File: 1522335094890.jpg (40.04 KB, 720x701, 1503977230406.jpg)
>everyday I want to go outside
>I've gained weight and I feel incredibly fat
>too fat to go outside
>too tall for all my clothes, haven't bought anything new for 2 years
>can't wear anything but pyjamas in my own house
What should I do?? I live in the countryside and love to go on walks, but I can't be seen like this anymore
No. 237767
>>237719Anon, I'm also guilty of that type of thinking. But ou shouldn't deprive yourself of things you enjoy because you feel you are not at your best.
Even if you got a little bit fatter, or aren't looking that fashionable, you deserve to go out into the world and do the stuff you enjoy. Don't wait or hide.
No. 237817
>>227924Feeling like shit since the moment I waked up today.
Missed my third job interview in a roll, full on self sabotage mode.
>tfw I'm 25 >cutted for the first time>endorphins actually workedNo regrets, might do it again.
No. 237858
>>237854If there was a way to do that, every girl with smaller breasts would be doing it, myself included. There really is no way, except weight gain IF you're lucky or surgery.
I know how shitty it feels (34AA). The best thing to do is to accept it and move on… or get surgery.
No. 237864
>>237721Layer your hair and thin out the ends if it’s too poofy. Also there is plenty of fun stuff in bright colors out there that isn’t too expensive (H&M sales, thrift stores) Just remember the importance of colors and flattering cuts and you’ll be fine.
And as for styling your hair, look up tutorials for bobs on youtube. Chances are you’ll find something you’ll like!
No. 237937
File: 1522362279161.png (808.67 KB, 926x685, bra.PNG)
>>237858anon you might be one of those women duped into wearing a shit bra their entire life. the "34 inches" includes fat under your armpits which is probably breast fat that you've been pushing aside for years like this girl. you maybe closer to 30 inches and a C cup.
No. 237970
File: 1522367049561.jpg (766.26 KB, 1656x2048, 1518569914102.jpg)
Can having a husbando go too far?
All of my income and spare time goes towards my husbando, besides the necessary I don't think about or do anything else. I can't see myself with a real living human being because I love him and no human being matches up to a perfect anime guy.
I can easily see myself getting into debt and dying alone because I am fixated on a fantasy. I'm scared for the future but nothing will stop this train until I die.
No. 237981
>>237970Is that your actual shrine anon?
If so, I respect your commitment.
Most peopel stay single because they feel incapable of being loved or loving others in a well adjusted way, so I guess chosing celibate out of love for a fictional character is not that bad.
No. 237982
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere.
No. 237983
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere
No. 237984
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere.
No. 237985
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere.>>237981
No. 237986
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere
No. 237987
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere.>>237981
No. 237988
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere.
No. 237989
>>237981Not mine but the amount of stuff I own is the same or potentially worse. It sounds nice when you put it that way but I do have conflicting worried thoughts about having nobody to support me in hard times or growing old and dying alone.
It wouldn't feel right to have a relationship just because I'm scared when my heart is elsewhere.
No. 237990
>>237945I hate how the US just dictates all of the new generation's ideology because of the influence they have online and on virtually all of pop culture and how they act like everything is about them.
You are not the only fucking country online nor the only english speaking one.
Also, fuck how entitled Burgers are about travelling wherever they want. A girl I knew threw a little fit because she needs a visa to visit my country, guess what whore? I needs a visa to visit almost all of the countries outside my shit whole of a place. Just fuck North Americans, I hope Trump burns the whole country with Putins help.
No. 237991
>>237945I hate how the US just dictates all of the new generation's ideology because of the influence they have online and on virtually all of pop culture and how they act like everything is about them.
You are not the only fucking country online nor the only english speaking one.
Also, fuck how entitled Burgers are about travelling wherever they want. A girl I knew threw a little fit because she needs a visa to visit my country, guess what whore? I needs a visa to visit almost all of the countries outside my shit whole of a place. Just fuck North Americans, I hope Trump burns the whole country with Putins help.
No. 237997
>>237989>>237983The guy from the pic is your husbando? I would think about what attracts you to him and keep that in mind. Maybe one day you will meet someone who also has the qualities.
Perhaps you are obsessing over him cause you don't have a bf that keeps you busy emotionally? I know that's how it was with me. Still enjoy the character of my husbando, but I am not obsessed anymore.
No. 238015
>>237672I'm operating on the assumption that you are an anxiety-ridden neet based on "no education", "crippling mental health problems", and "no money" If I'm wrong and this post isn't even remotefully helpful then I'm sorry.
I'm sure you can think of something to do to move forward. One important thing is learning to "front-load your pain". All the planning and perfecting and thinking about my life or things I'd like to do/experience/own never put my feet to the pavement in any way, shape, or form. I was in stasis for a long time and very unhealthy both phsyically and mentally. The realization eventually sunk in that the only way areas of my life were going to improve was if I front-loaded my pain and did good things for myself NOW even if they were scary and/or weren't my ideal. And when parts of your life improves in various ways it reflects back onto you in various ways.
If by no education you mean you don't have a high school diploma, getting a GED is an obvious step forward for you whether you plan to get further education at some point or not. Maybe you find that you are legitimately ill enough that you need a medication, so a step forward could be attempting to get medicaid.. you get the idea, just take a deep breath, step back into your life, and think about what you gotta do. Make no mistake though, you are not doing this because you are making a last ditch attempt at seeing some success otherwise you're going to kys, it's not like that. You're going to move forward because you love yourself so you're going to take the logical steps to improve your life, it's not about fear. What's not easy is anxiety, insecurity, adjusting to doing normal schedule stuff, but it's like an exposure therapy thing, the more you do it the easier it is. One thing that can help is "being your own friend". If it was you, you might not take out the trash, go on an a long errand out of town, talk to someone at the adult education center about the GED program, but if it was for a friend, or a friend asked you, you'd probably be a lot more willing, and if one of the favors involves what would normally give you anxiety (idk.. asking waitstaff for an extra set of silverware), when it's for a friend it's amazing how you often forget to be anxious. Be your own friend, be a good friend.
No. 238097
>>237989This was me and the site was glitching at the time so I kept trying to post it again. I regret it now, mods can delete any extra posts since I can't do it.
>>237997It isn't my husbando and my actual husbando is impossibly perfect. I don't believe a guy like him exists or that I could ever be as attracted to a real breathing human male as much anyway. It has been the same with me when I tried a relationship in the past, I can't let go of him no matter how wonderful a guy I am with and I can't hurt anyone like that.
No. 238105
>>238097Loving a person in everything they are - good and bad - is extremely rewarding (not talking about things like being an abuser or narc etc). I hope one day you will experience it. Or that your husbando keeps you happy throughout the years.
Am very curious how who is your husbando, though I understand why you want to keep it a secret on such a salty website. I respect you for recognizing that it would be unhealthy for you to enter a relationship while being emotionally commited to your husbando.
How do you feel about waifufags who have tulpas of their faves and are in a relationship with them?
I mean no offence by all of the above. I'm just curious by a different perspective.
No. 238165
>>237981>Most peopel stay single because they feel incapable of being loved or loving others in a well adjusted wayI think I have never seen someone decribe it as good as you did. Thank you. I also feel bad about the idea of possibly wasting the precious time of someone else with my childish issues.
>>237990your wishes will likely come true. Donal Trumpski is already destroying the country and the funny thing is that he will be given all the blame for the next economic crisis because of his trade tariffs and other policies. Great nations die when they start to go against the values that made them great (freedom and free trade in case of america)
>>237817I am not sure if this is the same but there is a plant that gives ephedrin. I think you can buy the seeds legally. I would rather plant some of those and try brewing teas with them instead of cutting.
No. 238215
>>238211Lol some people are so unrealistic and stupid about that. You can’t help getting it as a child, it’s one of those unfortunate things. Says nothing about you as a person.
Tbh I hate Onion as much as the next person, but his threads can really nitpick on stupid shit. Like yeah cold sores aren’t pretty, but they’re a part of life for a lot of people. That’s a people thing, not an Onion thing. There’s so much legit shit to hate on them both for, and a cold sore isn’t it.
Don’t worry bout them. The rest of the population understands it’s not a big deal.
When I was a kid, I thought it was “coleslaw.” Like the food.
No. 238227
File: 1522469341384.png (52.01 KB, 212x165, Screen Shot 2018-03-30 at 9.07…)
>>238026Same. It seems like I know way too many people like this, and it drives me crazy. Mainly because I want peers who will be motivating and can bring each other up or push each other to succeed.
> :(((((((( i cant find a job, nobody calls me back. > proceeds to ebeg on tumblr/twitter/instagram or any other social media platform> MUHHHH ILLNESS> i cant afford money for transportation to work or school> i flunked everything, i have a learning disability :( i wont get to college at all then. > REEE more illnesses> but when said neet gets money, buys cosplay or other weeb merchandise.> we can barely afford groceries guys (whines about it even tho parents/bf/room mates/ friends or who-ever are providing for them, so stfu. Beggers cant be choosers).> still cant get a job y no1 hire me?????> pls donate to my patreon/gofundme/paypal> typically mid 20s and still has no idea what to go to college for, refuses to seek advice or speak to a counselor> MUHHHH ANXIETY> REEEE i dont wanna bother my mom/dad/bf/friend/siblings for help even tho they desperately want me to get my life together, It would be a burden to ask for help.> irony is they are a burden by sitting at home all day, whining how they have no money, can't find a job after years of searching, or refuse to further their education to help them get career ideas.Not saying college is for everyone, but it does help people get some career ideas. I'm glad I've met more friends at my workplace and college. It's really refreshing having people who aren't NEETs. There are people with much worse illnesses and they still do amazing in life. They put in the effort to better themselves for their future and others around them.
No. 238248
>>238236That's not what she said.
I wouldn't say i'm wealthy, but my parents could definitely afford to support me being a NEET.
On some days i feel so bad that i vomit out of fear of going outside, but still i go to school and work part time.
There seem to be so many people on here whining about laying in bed all day long, being too depressed for school/work, etc.
Most of the time those stories simply don't add up: you're feeling depressed, yet you're incredibly vain; you're anxious, but dating; your parents still pay for everything, yet you hate them…
If you're too anxious for school, at least work retail. How do these NEETs think their lives should go on? One day their parents will die and then?
The point is, that no matter how bad it is, you simply need to do something and that anon mentioned her being poor, to highlight that they could be in an even worse situation, there they've got literally no other choice. Nobody forces them to get into med school or talk in front of huge crowds, but they should at least try to earn a little money…
I had to stop talking to a girl on discord, because it pissed me off so much: she was married and moved to another country, but too depressed to study the language. She also slept til the evening, but when i told her to at laest try to get up in the morning with her full time woking husband, she couldn't… i simply don't believe somebody can stomach to date, marry, have sex, but then is too anxious to get up…? No. 238265
>>238248>that spoilerThat’s not anxiety, that’s selective laziness she doesn’t want to be held accountable for. Married? Husband works and provides? Doesn’t speak the language? As far as she cares, she’s retired and can live like a spoiled NEET 15 year old forever like so many anons on this site dream of doing.
Anxiety doesn’t just
stop you from doing things full stop, it makes them very difficult but tbh anyone who claims they can’t wake up early or lean a language because of “anxiety” is just a whiny little bitch.
No. 238274
I'm tired of my friends being all whiny when I say I don't want / need to travel or spend money being abroad. We're all in our mid twenties and they make it seem as if we don't travel / experience these kind of things, our life's so boring and meaningless.
They all live with their parents and have works but they don't have to pay for things that me -I don't have parents nor close family who can help me financially - have to pay, i.e. taxes, groceries, etc.
I'm sorry I don't want to spend the money I have in travelling to another country when I don't have the need to, or to go to concerts of bands I don't like just because ''we only live once''.
It makes me feel so much anxiety because I always feel left behind or as if I'm not living the fullest but I'm actually happy with my life at the same time, it's just the way they think of my life that makes me feel worthless.
I know I'm not living the life that a 25 years old should live, I wish I could be that careless or not having to worry about such things like money all the time but I can't help it, it is the way it is and I can't do anything to change it. Even if I travelled, my problems would be here when I came back, while they wouldn't have anything to worry about apart from the next party they have to go…
No. 238275
>>238248Thank you, anon! You said exactly what I meant. Btw, it's so impressive that you manage to still live a productive life and motivate others despite your own problems, keep it up!
I don't care for people who are born wealthy or work their way up. But once someone has all the possible resources but they're whining how their "illness" is stopping them I can't help but laugh at their lack of desire to progress in life and become a better person.
No. 238369
File: 1522533925131.jpg (75.98 KB, 951x1024, 1521091367152m.jpg)
I feel pretty depressed gaining weight, I was anachan a couple months ago. Finally came to terms to recover, but at what cost? I had a nice body being underweight.. Now my arms are huge & my stomach pouch is so visible. My breast didn't grow, neither did my thighs much.. I look like a man, I feel so unfeminine. Instead of being small & short, I'm average " skinny fat " and short. I always look at myself in the mirror, skinny everywhere except the arms, face, & tummy. Why do i have such shit genetics. Id kill for a normal body, not this unproportional body. Doesnt help now I have no waist, i have a short torso.. I look fat & flat. It really makes me want to die. I see fit women with my body type, & i want to die even more. It doesn't look good even at your supposed " peak " . I simply wana cry, I'm so ugly my body cant even make up for my face.
No. 238378
>>238369You are lacking muscle anon, starving yourself causes that.
Start doing some plank sets together with situps and squats to recover some muscle toning.
Also, since starving also stopped your body from producing hormones, it's normal that you look like a "man" for a while. Eat more good fats and seeds to help with that.
No. 238427
File: 1522551793898.png (441.51 KB, 535x686, Screen Shot 2018-03-21 at 7.04…)
i know this is entirely on me but
>be me
>be extremely sensitive, self-hating, low self esteem etc whole life
>feel like i'm making it worse by being wimpy and embodying the virgin walk
>try to break the cycle and fake it til i make it
>force good posture, bolder clothing, tougher/more outgoing attitude
>people buy it
>friends roast me more relentlessly, relatives more blunt in criticism, creeps more creepy, strangers make fun of me in jest more
>they probably just assume i can handle it because i don't come off like i fucking hate myself
>receive even more reasons to hate myself
when will i make it bruh
No. 238449
>>238428Could have just been a false positive, they're rare but they happen and I find it hard to believe the second and third tests would have been negative if left untreated that long.
How about you, did you get tested yet?
No. 238607
>>238508I have to work almost every holiday, and Easter isn't even a federally recognized one so I won't even get holiday pay just like your bf.
I wind up having to celebrate on a different day, and usually my family is happy to accommodate me. Just have dinner tomorrow or whenever he's off. It's just a day.
No. 238634
>>237937I think this is what I am suffering with. So much boob comes out of the side of my bra but other than that I feel like the cup is only just full so I never thought of going up a size.
How can I figure out what size I need to get without a professional measuring? Not comfortable with someone I don't know measuring my breasts.
No. 238738
>>238736If it's strangers you can rest assured most of them have only just met and will part ways after max 3 shags
Something I noticed in my city is you only see couples on the weekend. Not even in the evenings during the week.
bring gf round for sex then get rid of her. Someone I know in a 6-year relationship at the time said he'd only see her 2 hours a week for sex
Yes I'm aware there
are happy couples too, but in terms of young people seen in public that's most of them as described above
No. 238740
>>238738See also
reading comments See a girl say she's depressed and her boyfriend makes her feel bad for being depressed/doesn't help her
click profile Wah my happy relationship my man is so great
Nobody wants to admit their problems publicly. No relationship is perfect and most have a deluge of abortions, trips to mental hospitals, fights, depression or worse lurking underneath
Ditto disclaimer: There
are happy ones but it's by no means the majority
No. 238761
Sometimes i think i should stop coming on here.
There are so many anons who are absolutely resentful and bitter, because they're NEETs, lonely, have no boyfriend, have been bullied, have EDs and what not.
I get that, my life is also pretty shitty atm, but at least i want to get better.
It's seems like the majority on here thinks that it's somehow never their own fault and all the people around them are evil. They themselves deserve the world, but others should get punished for merely existing and being happy.
You don't even want to get better, instead you're just riling each other up.
Sometimes i've already caught myself thinking like that too.
Pleade don't misunderstand, i don't mind bitchy and mean comments, afterall we're all here for gossip, those anons who love to dwell in their misery are way worse.
Yes, the world is not all sunshine, but hating everybody and everything is also not the right way of living your life.
No. 238779
I’m 18 years old and a couple of hours ago I got off the phone with my sister bawling my eyes out. I keep realizing just how much of a cruel person she really is, my schooling situation got really messed up at the middle of the year do to my depression, obviously I take blame for it, I know I should have gotten help instead of getting behind further. I’m caught up now and have moved out of my grandparents house into my mothers, she IS a former drug addict but has been sober for 2 or 3 years now, while my grandparents are both alcoholics and aren’t involved with me or my younger sibling as much as they could be, I do love them but I know that being here makes me more motivated.
Fast forward to this morning, and I’m doing well in my classes and was feeling happy for the first time all year. I called my sister to help me get microsoft for my school work, casually mentioning that our other grandmother invited me to go stay with her for a bit, keep in mind that she hasn’t talked to me in 2 years, at all. I say it’s kinda weird and she GOES OFF saying that I should be more involved and that our grandmother thinks that we hate her etc. I try and tell her that I thought about going there after my school stuff was finished but she doesn’t really listen. She bring up so many other things like how our mom is going to relapse and she thinks me and my younger brother are stupid for coming here (Our grandparents are really old and retired, they drink a lot and I don’t like being around it, plus I feel like they don’t want to be taking care of children for the remainder of their lives so it seemed like a good idea, plus, our mother is sober and has a job and I’ve stayed here for months before and it seemed fine.)
She gets really condescending about my schooling situation which makes me feel like shit, especially considering hours before I was feeling really hopeful about it, trying to defend myself does nothing, so I wasn’t thinking straight and she basically just kept saying cruel things to me, and about my situation when she hasn’t been here in 2 years, putting words in my mouth and making it seem like she’s trying to help me, calling me names and just being so mean. I’ve lived with her for almost my whole life and I never realized just how mean she really is, I suppose I was just used to apologizing and letting her walk all over me that it became my automatic response when we were kids. She has no empathy whatsoever, and only calls my grandparents when she wants something, very self centered and just outright cruel. Writing this out helped sort of, and talking with my mom, who assured me that I wasn’t in the wrong. Stuff like this does scare me though, I need to work on standing up for myself I think and my self esteem. I just don’t understand how someone who is your family, your sister can enjoy making you feel like you're worth nothing.
No. 238780
>>238761it's important to remember when reading here that everything is completely anon… meaning even when people are giving details of a situation, it's pretty impossible to know the full truth of the story besides what their word is.
Take a break from here if you need to, no one is making you come back… don't read everything and soak it up, take it all at face value and with a grain of salt.
Being anon allows people to freely vent, be as rude or bitchy as they feel to be or speak their true thoughts without any repercussion etc.
Many anons on here aren't what they present themselves irl. It's best not to take this website, comments made on it or the other anons too seriously.
No. 238792
>>238761that's funny because i get pretty much the opposite impression from lolcow in general. compared to most social media, farmers seem to be pretty strict on themselves and others to improve areas of their lives that aren't good. I very regularly see farmers either asking for advice on how to improve their shitty looks/jobs/love lifes or farmers calling out other people for wallowing in their misfortune rather than trying to fix it. yes there's self proclaimed "losers" but they seem pretty embarrassed about it and just speak about it plainly, i don't see them blaming everyone but themselves. i mean what are they not allowed to complain at all until they fix everything? it's not like you can change things overnight.
i guess i'm biased because the rest of social media that i'm exposed to is so saturated with people blaming everything but themselves for their situation and begging for unearned praise or unearned money. lolcow seems like one of the few places that pushes self improvement with no excuses. besides, ffs sometimes something in your life sucks and it genuinely isn't your fault and there's no realistic way to fix it. the world ISN'T all sunshine and sometimes things do really just suck and you are right to complain. maybe you're so sick of sjw crybabies that you've forgotten that.
No. 238794
>>238792Absolutely agree. People ask for/give advice here and listen. People are seeking improvement and receive support here.
Meanwhile the rest of the internet are all REEEEing about the news and politics and never working on their own problems
Anon was just tryna humble-brag while ironically offering advice to nobody.
No. 238821
>>238787>>238788>>238794>comes on the vent thread to brag about how much better your life is than all these NEETS>GTFO that isn't a vent and you're not helping. Fuck off>It's completely pointless going to a frickin' Vent Thread on a gossip forum to complain about bitter…venting. Like are you kidding me. Go watch some musicals or something what're you even doing here>Anon was just tryna humble-brag while ironically offering advice to nobody.Seems like i've hit the nail on the head…
Especially first anon sounds absolutely crazy; why are you getting so incredibly angry about what somebody writes on the internet?
To vent = to let off steam by saying everything that's on your mind, usually out of anger. - and that's exactly what i did.
I'm not complaining about people coming to the vent thread to vent, no, it just annoys me that in every single thread anons are going on about how they're feeling oh so miserable.
And you think i'm humblebragging? Yes, i'm not a NEET, but that's nothing to be proud of since it should be the norm. Some people also simply can't feel sympathy for adults who don't work and instead have their parents or husband take care of them.
No. 238835
>>238809I feel you so much.
In my case, I have a lot of people around me who are pretty touchy-feely, I've never been too into it so they leave me alone, but now I try to get hugs from them and all. It's a bit awkward but it's something. And at least since it's awkward it makes me not want to be touched again for a few days I guess. Plus I have a rather cuddly cat so that has to help a little bit… Other than that I've found spending time with my sister instead of alone during evenings is nice, it feels less lonely and thus I mope less.
Be strong Anon. It get so tiring to be in bed craving for warmth and cuddles, but you're not alone in this situation.
No. 238873
>>238821Do you actually think most people actively choose to be NEETs? That they don't work or study because they feel like it?
Most people who don't want to work and have the means study so they won't get called out for not working. On the other hand most NEETs can't afford studying and can't find a job, that's how they become one.
You sound underage.
No. 238875
File: 1522720852321.jpg (52.56 KB, 750x557, 1511958077933.jpg)
>>238835Man, I think it's a basic human need to have occasional touch/intimacy with the ones you love.
I don't think you need to think of it as awkward; genuine intimacy feels good for both parties. I feel like it's quite meaningful to be able to hug/listen deeply to someone and fully invest into it.
At the same time, being alone feels kind of freeing. If you have money and decent hobbies, being alone allows you to fully invest.
No. 238876
File: 1522721329643.jpg (510.22 KB, 1078x1076, 1520566135322.jpg)
My bf is pissing me off. He barely has actual conversations with me anymore. All he does is tell me he loves me or says he wants to kiss me, which is nice and all, but I'd like to actually talk about things. Not just go through a cycle of "i love you!" "i love you more!" etc. Also every single day he just has to complain about something like, "i feel fatigued" or "my tonsils hurt" or "my chest feels weird" constantly. And I have to act all sympathetic even though I don't really care. My body does weird things too, it's normal! Why are guys so hyper sensitive to pain/feeling weird? Also he has no plans for the future and is probably doomed to be a NEET for life. I'm growing resentful.
No. 238882
File: 1522727484760.png (17.27 KB, 259x224, 07b8d90672eabf019f877ba51ebb08…)
I just want farmers to know that you guys are cool, sure I've run into some awful arguments/anons but
for the most part I appreciate the people who are making an effort to improve themselves and helping other anons out
No. 238890
File: 1522730231314.png (297.71 KB, 600x512, 084.png)
>>238761anons who have been through hell and back in school hurt your feefees?
No. 238917
>>238909That's exactly what i mean, thank you.
Also, i think i remember other anons posting similar things in the vent thread, so i thought this is the right place to do so.
No. 238924
>>238923lol you must be flat like a board
> inb4 ''fattychan''you sound needlessly bitchy, was your fatass comment really necessary?
No. 238925
>>238924No it wasn't necessary but hey, I'm venting, that's the point of the thread.
>lol you must be flat like a boardWell yeah, I mean it's so obvious I don't understand why you need to mention it.
No. 238933
File: 1522752919537.jpg (58.07 KB, 560x840, 1874812_313212.jpg)
>>238923The humblebragging is unnecessary. Sizes are so arbitrary and fit differently in every store. Surely you've heard of vanity sizing. Don't bother trying to deflect and call me fat because I'm also a 0 (or 2, depending.) Sleeveless shift dresses with high necklines are cute on us boards, IMO. I own a few in this cut and they look fine if they're a size bigger.
No. 238934
>>238933>>238924Not that anon but why does everyone here take mentioning a simple fact about your body as humblebragging? If that post was about not finding clothes at size 6 instead of 0 none of you would be
triggered Go back to the containment thread you insecure bitches
No. 238935
File: 1522753738909.jpg (54.05 KB, 560x840, 2591932_483742.jpg)
>>238933Oops, it's actually called a swing dress.
No. 238941
>>238933How is calling myself a size humblebragging? It's a simple fact. And I don't suspect everyone who disagree with me to be fat because we're all anons here anyway, so how should I know.
>Sizes are so arbitraryI feel like that's definitely the case for but since I already know that I mostly go to store where I know the sizes and cuts aren't all fucked up. It depends on the stores and brands but I've done my researches and the differences aren't very high, unless the clothes are badly made and cut in the first place. The dress you posted doesn't look good at all for a wedding, but this one
>>238935 is cute.
>>238936Size 6 is the average size though, and I've seen plenty of women who would like to be that size. The very few people I've seen commenting on my body only told me to get surgery so I could look more average so no, not everyone thinks being a size 0 is a good thing.
>>238937If you're completely blind I guess you're right.
No. 238943
>>238942In my case I'm underweight because of a physical problem that's also hereditary but I won't say anything else about it. I believe I mentioned it here a few times to see if I could find anyone with the same problem or even just advice for any eventual treatments I haven't heard about but nobody answered, probably because it's a relatively rare condition or something.
Saying that someone with a physical health problem they can't control and have since their birth is as narcissistic as "a fatass who has to dress in size XXXL" is retarded. Anyway, sage because this is going nowhere and I'm wondering why people here are so
triggered that I complain for not finding a dress my size.
No. 238945
File: 1522759230554.jpeg (18.67 KB, 550x292, supersize-superskinny-episode-…)
>>238943First of, nobody is
triggered by your perfect ana body.
I'm trying to explain it very slowly:
Pic related on the left side is you.
And you look just as fucked up as the dude on the right side.
So, all anons here find it quite ironic that you, someone who looks abnormal, makes fun of another person, that looks abnormal.
Saying "it's hereditary" is just as hypocritical, maybe this "fatass who has to dress in size XXXL" has some illness and therefore it's also not their fault…?
No. 238951
>>238923There are a lot of fat girls with pcos on here so this might
trigger them
No. 238953
>>238945If my "ana" body is so fucked up then why are people telling me I'm humblebragging? Which has nothing to do with me being hypocritical, since that's what pissed off everyone here at first.
Also can anybody on this website actually follow a conversation? Basically it went like this:
>I complained about not finding a dress my size and stated my size for illustration and just in case someone can link me to a website, who knows>jokingly mention morbidly obese HAES people who can find clothes their size just fine but who want every single store to cater to them, but didn't feel the need to explain the joke>"waaahh stop humblebragging and showing off, everyone wants to be a size 0">"if you're a size 0 and slightly underweight then you're a narcissist and an anachan and you look as disgusting as morbidly obese people and nobody wants to look like you"So which one is it?
>>238950I already eat way more than average though. And while you're not entirely wrong it really depends on conditions and treatments.
>bitchy-ana-anonNot that I should take your opinion seriously anyway. Why are you guys so insecure? I don't think I insulted any of you, not even indirectly, unless you're a HAES activist.
>>238951I know that, I saw the thread about PCOS. If they're that upset over a stupid post that's not my problem.
No. 238962
>>238956>>238954I don't get upset when a post not directed at me is making fun of anachans though. And I feel like saying that it's not my problem is very different from saying that I'm allowed to make fun of them so maybe I should have worded things differently.
>we shouldnt make fun of your ~perfect~ bodyWhat is reading comprehension. I said my body was far from being perfect BECAUSE of my health. As in, I ADMIT that I don't look good. I don't want people to think I'm good looking I'm just looking for a dress that fits.
No. 238967
File: 1522761711753.jpg (49.53 KB, 750x500, weight-landscape-3x2.jpg)
>>238951>There are a lot of fat girls with pcos on here so this might trigger themYou know that there are pther bdy types between being obese and a size 0…?
>>238964>Btw guys, i was only joking! No. 238974
>>238943I think I remember your comment and the reason why you're small is because of genetic problem that meant you didn't grow at puberty, even with taking growth hormone.
Which makes the Ana-sperging more funny from the other Anons because you REALLY can't help it. Try online and also specifically Asian clothing, where the small size should fit you. I'm "normal" size but incidentally fit into 14-year old's clothes as my upper measurements are the same, I wouldn't completely dismiss that idea (though you're probably sick of that concept at this point)
Online really is the best but you still have to invest time into trawling around.
No. 238981
>>238974And by Asian I mean literally from China, Chinese sellers. I always see comments from angry Western people in the feedback (eBay) saying
this is a child's size! So small!A "large" Chinese size is a M US (6-8)
Small should be a US 0-4 at my guess. It's cheap so you won't waste money experimenting anyway.
No. 238989
File: 1522765402951.png (93.96 KB, 720x806, wp_ss_20180403_0027.png)
>>238981These charts put me at a US 4-6 so I would adjust the above to say Chinese Large is US 4-6 and not 6-8.
Meaning Small should definitely fit you.
No. 239030
File: 1522773295994.png (11.61 KB, 428x580, wojakhorseman.png)
>>238369I also had an ED about 4 months ago, and started "recovering" by binging up to a normal weight
I look about the same as you describe: gained weight in my arms, stomach, and face. Very insecure about it. I've always been flat, but it looks worse now. I'm very tall for a female and have broad shoulders as well as a man-face I've always despised, so this sux.
I believe the weight redistributes if you give it time, though. EDs fuck your shit up, it's probably less genetics than you think. Keep eating, maybe start exercising - I know I should - and try to accept your poor healing body as it looks right now.
No. 239054
>>238923Ignore all the jealous amazon hamplanets itt, they're a major problem here.
You're gonna have to shop kids if you're too small for "petites", there's some cute children's dresses in stores that aren't tacky but it might take a few trips to find them.
No. 239055
File: 1522777774893.png (844.71 KB, 1885x889, eurgh.png)
WHY THE HELL DO I KEEP SEEING CP ADVERTISED IN OT.
Image boards are enough of a cesspit without having to see stuff like that it's horrible
No. 239056
File: 1522777823547.jpg (59.97 KB, 1000x1000, Shark_Kids_Dress.jpg)
>>239054I've always wanted to wear one of these cute children's dresses, but sadly i can't since i'm an amazon hamplanet…
Ugh, i'm so jelly of all these perfectly petite size 0s out there
No. 239074
>>239070first of all no, I dont even know where you drew that conclution from. but I'd rather be an ana-chan than a lowkey paedo hamplanet
>>239061I agree with
>>239071 you should also look up videos about mannerisms, for example if you want to go for an elegant style, you should read books or look at videos about mannerisms that fits elegance and class.
Another thing is if you're too lazy to do anything with your hair, try to brush it in a nice direction while its still a little wet, so that it dries nicely. this will give you a nice effortless hairstyle. also avoid to sleep with your hair in strange positions. put ut in a bun or braid it. this will give your hair nice waves (assuming your hair is straight) rather than lifeless straight hair.
No. 239077
>>239074Where i drew the concusion from? Maybe from your unironic use of the term 'hamplanet'?
Being sarcastic is creepy and pedo behavior, but an actual adult wearing children's dresses is completely okay? lol
That's something usually only trannies like to do…
No. 239090
>>239079I guess you didn't read the post i was originally referring to
>>239054
>Ignore all the jealous amazon hamplanets itt, they're a major problem here.>You're gonna have to shop kids if you're too small for "petites", there's some cute children's dresses in stores that aren't tacky but it might take a few trips to find them.This was suggested to an anon that claims to be too petite to wear women's clothing and was called out for at the same time making fun of fat people who also can't fit in normal clothes.
I obviously made fun of her for suggesting that everybody else is just a jealous hamplanet and to wear literal "children's dresses". (And i thought you wear said anon)
No. 239178
>>227924I had a really bad job interview:
>interview was at the neighborhood I hate the most in my town>walked 30min under rain for it>HR lady was 15 minutes late>3h fucking hours of un-ending self presentations>a snack table set up that, as the HR womem made very clear, was not for our consumption.I got super frustrated and then as the emotional toddler I'm, I decided to buy 1l of icecream and eat it all in one go.
How do I stop emotionally eating anons? I feel I have no other way of copping with negative feelings, I don't have friends and my parents aways cut me when I speak about stuff like that and make me feel like I have to eat my emotions back
;_;
No. 239203
>>239198>>239198A three parts process for a dumb retail job.
Totally bullshit, I can't even get a job doing things I have experience working with since I didn't finish my degree and therefore belong to an inferior class in my country.
No. 239210
>>239203Can you do extra courses/training to make up the last part of the degree?
I thought you were gonna say a programming job or medical or something. I did an hour "trial" for a retail job once (I had plenty of experience) which was just them getting an hour's free work from me. I had a guy from the local area tell me later that he suspected they just didn't want to pay me (my pay grade based on experience)
Also once had an interview for a phone job or something similar, which I decided to try and walk to (wanted to avoid public transport), was a ridiculous long walk past a motorway and stuff like that, asked a stranger for directions at one point. Didn't even get there in time, kinda found the location with about 5 minutes to go. Just ghosted them all and pretended it never happened hahah
Anyway I hope you get it, or at least learned something from it to help you in future interviews.
No. 239213
>>239211First off, original anon sounds a bit strange.
>small women aren't pedophilesAgreed but
>Tons of women's wear juniors because sizes keep getting biggerNot her but you need to stop chimping out and blaming de fatty fats at every turn. This is horseshit.
Went with my mom to the outlet malls to look for a dress for her (southern 'amerifat, y'know, the part of the states where we're supposed to be the most obese) and literally the most common stocked sizes I saw were 0s, 2s, 4s, and 6s.
>inb4 muh vanity sizingNo, 0s and 2s are pretty fucking small and I'd say anyone who needs to go smaller than a 0 does need custom clothes much like a person over the standard plus size selection needs custom clothes. Or yeah, shop in juniors like how really obese people shop in maternity. Them's the brakes.
No. 239215
>>239211Don't you know petit models are all paedophiles?
>>239212Not even 4'6" women? There's women of all shapes and sizes. Body positivity goes both ways. Cmon anon…
No. 239217
>>239213You must be confusing me with another anon, but I'll bite. A chimpout is getting mad at an anon for mentioning she can't fit into wedding dresses. Getting hysterically upset and calling her a liar, pedophile, bragger just because she said she's having a hard time with sizes is a chimpout and means some serious projecting is going on with that anon. People will stop calling her fat when she stops throwing around the word ana-chan at anyone responding to her.
>>239216Okay, but they exist. Women who are only 5 feet (and a even a little over
gasp) can fit into children's too. There are tall children and all sorts of childrens sizes. I don't know why that anon is getting so upset about her size. It just screams insecurity and no matter how many anons have tried to reason with her, she refuses to try to understand.
No. 239220
>>239217>You must be confusing me with another anonI assure you I'm not, which is why I made the distinction of saying that the OP you're arguing with is strange.
Getting mad at fatties and seriously believing there's less smaller sizes because of them is unreasonable and not true. It's a pretty chimpy, presumptuous opinion and I'd say anyone who's ever worked big box retail knows.
And yes, I don't get why the original anon called the other anon an ana-chan but it doesn't make you correct about the sizing thing. At all.
No. 239226
>>239204>>239210Thanks anons, I'm feeling better now.
Maybe the HR professionals where I live are just bad overall.
I have some money saved so I'm planning on getting any job, just for food and stuff, and try some tech bootcamps in order to get more options.
No. 239247
File: 1522816270885.png (141.87 KB, 511x564, hYMIItH.png)
>mfw the YouTube shooter is really a transwoman
Can't wait to see all the walkback from the alt-right who were chomping at the bit to say "SEE? WOMINZ SHOOT TOO!" when they know they would be hypocrites to ignore the biology. Nope, just another mentally ill male.
No. 239249
>>239247Wait is this true
Aw shiit
No. 239251
>>239248>anonz r jelly!!1!I agree with your point but honestly you dwelling on it makes you sound like the snowflakes who accuse anons of being jealous all the time. Almost like, they kind of have a point that's getting under your skin.
But agree, nobody should be jealous of genetic diseases, which makes your claim all that much more absurd.
No. 239254
>>239251I think it all got a bit personal with Anons calling other people hambeasts and such. I just watched from the sidelines. It IS illogical to be jealous, maybe the wrong word, but pressed/overly emotional about it all.
Truth is who knows what any of us look like? We could all be 300lb men larping
No. 239255
>>239247As someone who follows alt-right websites and circles, they weren't hoping it was a woman. In fact 8chan was celebrating that it was a tranny.
Only mgtow/mras were wishing for a woman shooter. /pol/ hates tannies, and generally don't antagonize women, just feminism and sluts.
No. 239261
>>239259Fukkin this, damn farmers.
>>239258Are you denying that most alt-righters ARE incel misogynists?
No. 239263
>>239261Nayrt, but honestly not as much as you'd think. From what I have seen, they only have a problem with women's liberation and hedonism. They don't have a problem with traditional housewives. Unlike mgtow, /pol/ thinks women can be redeemed/fixed by making them into traditional mothers. Mgtow thinks women are just evil vampire whores who need to be cowed like animals.
There are /pol/ users that are hyper critical of women, way more than necessary even for natsocs… but more than women, they detest trannies.
You have to remember that their main objective is to uplift the white race. They see the necessity of women as mothers and feminine role models. They do not see the necessity for trannies, in fact they see them as their sworn enemies.
So yes the alternative right and /pol/ would better receive a tranny murderer opposed to a female murderer. You only have to browse their boards for like 5 minutes to tell.
No. 239264
>>239248Missed it earlier, but I agree. Being a tiny girl is shit. People ask if I'm as young as 14 sometimes and it gets so old. Can't wear 'cute' clothes without looking like a loli. And I always seem to get attention from men who are ebeophiles, which is totally creepy.
It's so weird how society fetishizes looking like a little girl.
I just want to be treated like an adult. Platform shoes are the only things that make me truly happy in this world.
No. 239265
>>239264At least having a big head in proprtion to your body is better than having a small one.
I'm tall as hell for a girl and I have a round baby face. Looks disproportionate as fuck and I cant be a single pound overweight or it looks 1000x worse.
No clothes flatter me except for boys/men's clothes. But even then, it still looks awkward. I'd seriously rather be 4'5.
No. 239267
>>239263>they only have a problem with women's liberationWhich inherently makes them sexist.
>they don't hate traditional house wivesBut they do hate gun control. And if there's one thing they like pointing out about shootings, it's those committed by blacks, arabs, hispanics, and yes–women. Why? Because they use it to justify an all-or-nothing view; that if minorities and women go on shooting sprees then obv there are just too many 'wildcards' for reasonable gun control so therefore we should try it never. Or for that matter: admitting that males, who are prone to violence, have a bigly gun + mental illness problem.
Also sorry, but all the tranny and antisemitism is a trademark of alt-right
>>239259.
No. 239269
>>239261>Are you denying that most alt-righters ARE incel misogynists?Oh I see you're mixing up incel and alt-right. Sure there's some overlap but it's like this anon says
>>239263. Maybe an incel would try to imply women are "bad" in the same ways women think men are bad (they're aggressive and violent). An alt right person would say that a woman is too weak to handle the recoil and too fearful to do that and of course only a tranny would have the balls to do it
No. 239270
>>239269I'm just curious but what incels do you follow that identify as left?
Besides their opinions on trannies, of course.
No. 239273
>>239267>if minorities and women go on shooting sprees then obv there are just too many 'wildcards' for reasonable gun control so therefore we should try it never.That doesn't make any sense. And don't say "yeah, cos they're dumb". That's just not what they say. Highlighting a non-white shooter is to say see, we should get rid of non-whites.
>>239270 Fucksake someone doesn't have to identify as left to not have the same talking points as white nationalists. Can't you conceive of even two different types of sexism?
No. 239276
>>239273>That doesn't make any sense.????
Their argument is we can't have reasonable gun control because everyone can be a mass shooter. "It's not the gun, it's the person holding the gun."
Even though women and minorities don't even make up for majority gun violence. And in this case, turns out a woman wasn't even behind it.
If you haven't seen this argument before I'm sorry, but it is out there and most alt-righteys seriously believe this to be a valid reason against gun control legislation.
>as white nationalists????
In what universe is the alt-right only associated with white nationalism and not misogyny and gun control?
Why even attempt to whiteknight the alt-right from this? What the fuck are you doing.
>>239273 No. 239278
>>239267Look they don't see the world as men vs women, you're confusing them with mgtow again. They see the world as white/nonwhite. They support gun rights so they can shoot violent brown people or quell a brown uprising.
They dislike feminism because it makes white women less likely to breed and more likely to be socially dysfunctional (not under the jurisdiction if their husbands)
Everything they believe is for the sole benefit of the white race. Other politics are secondary.
They are literally national socialists rebranded for modern America.
No. 239281
>>239276>>239276The alternative right is associated with anti-feminism and gun control because they take the side they view as being the most beneficial to the white race.
Seriously browse 8ch /pol/. Click on any thread about any subject and all and they are discussing how it effects the white race. It is the underpinning if everything they discuss and believe.
No. 239282
>>239271>>239271>OMG my waist is as small as my head! Sooo terrible u guiz :( :(My fucking face is the size of my upper arms and I'm not even fat. That's how out of proportion I am as a tall girl with a normal sized head and a huge body.
Tired if these tiny ~eternally cute adult lolis~ humble bragging everywhere.
No. 239296
File: 1522832720948.jpg (91.3 KB, 700x959, Cindy-Crawford-1992-1-700x959.…)
>>239282Lol, i wake up and see that the less than 5 ft, 80 lbs, babyfaced jailbaits are still at it again.
My head is also incredibly small in comparison to my body, even though i'm a healthy weight, but that's just inevitable if you're taller than a certain height.
Think about it like this; koreans would love you for having a tiny face and even models have that 'problem'.
Pic related is Cindy Crawford in her prime, it would look super weird if her head was as bigger than her waist.
(derailing) No. 239298
File: 1522833407426.jpg (62.36 KB, 306x956, 2AEA66BA00000578-3177628-image…)
It's way better to have a small face in proportion to your body than to have a huge face. A big face will make you look like a lollipop whereas a small face makes you look taller and proportionate (only if you're decently slim, fat + small face = really weird).
Pic related is what lollipop syndrome looks like.(derailing)
No. 239322
>>239296>>239282I wanna see a pic of you because I've never seen tiny head, large body on a woman so it just sounds like you've got dysmorphia to me. If I wear heels I need more hat/big hair as my head just takes up less of my body compared to the long legs, are you sure that's not what you're seeing? You should be proportional to your height so it shouldn't look like super long legs+ normal body though.
Idk just never ever seen a human and thought they had a small head
No. 239324
>>239322Me:
>Head circumference 22in>Waist 26in>Arms 11in How can your arm circumference be the same as your head? My arms are a little disproportionate/large compared to my waist but still nowhere near head circumference.
Have you actually measured this?
(derailing) No. 239327
File: 1522842071366.jpg (150.18 KB, 505x1121, human_proportions_study__hayle…)
>>239322>>239324Of course not circumference, just the look of it.
Pic related is an extremely tall women next to a normal one. Both have exactly the same head size, but one is 2 heads taller and therefore her head looks a lot smaller in comparison to her otherwise big body.
No. 239329
File: 1522842279718.jpg (45.96 KB, 452x673, unnamed.jpg)
>>239327Samefag, but in this pic the guy on the right is normal with a normal head size. Since the guy on the left is a lot taller, he should also have a bigger head, but it's actually smaller than what would be proportionate for his height and also in comparison to the other guy.
No. 239615
>>239329And he looks fucking fine.
Who is sat judging people’s heads in proportion to their height? You sound insane.
I know I know venting about the vent thread is bad board etiquette. But nobody irl gives a fuck if your head is slightly too small or too large. Most people you meet won’t remember your face, let alone your fucking measurements.
Chill out. Get your clothes tailored, take care of how you look, and it’ll be fine. People don’t care as much about how you look as you do.