File: 1736739006701.jpg (88.46 KB, 719x900, 65bc942693dd8d76399ec9de383793…)
No. 2344608
A thread for venting about difficult stuff going on in your life.
Previous vent thread:
>>2334759Follow all the /ot/ board rules & don't reply to bait.
Don't come to this thread to make fun of anons' vents, to demean them, or to try and be funny with some shit snark reply. It's annoying. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
No. 2344861
I don't understand. I want to get better. Anytime I relax, the pain returns and I can't sleep unless someone can protect me. It's fucking pathetic. He raped me over a year ago but the long lasting damage is crazy. It could be a mental thing because when I am calm or feel happy, it doesn't happen. Being home alone, ruminating, it's like everything falls apart. Muscle clenching, can't breathe, I hide in my room/bathroom since if the door can be locked, maybe nothing will happen. Almost like an abused dog that urinates itself at even the intention of more pain. I hate smoking and drinking but it helped for a while to get some relief, now it seems too much and it's not for me. I'm so tired yet the second my brain recognises that person through dreams or memories I shake and disassociate. I had to relearn so many things because he destroyed not only my body, but pride in anything I was. Finding a good therapist is so hard. This is going to be fixed. Giving up would only let that fool win. I want to truly love again, feels like I've been sinking lately and that's not an option. Once I get paid, I'm getting some type of help. Fear is dissipating any great opportunity that could exist. No more.
No. 2344942
>>2344926>>2344927I don’t want to be that person but she never showed any interest in my relationship whatsoever. Ever since we were younger, when it came to my relationships and me; she has always something to say about it, never something positive.
Instead of being happy about me being with someone who treats me well and loves me, I feel like she’s always judging her and taking my words out of context to benefit her narrative. I stopped telling her things and of course she complained about it too, very loudly, but how am I supposed to trust someone who seems to despise my happiness? I always feel like I have to fake it with her and it makes me truly sad because I always want the best for her and I don’t feel the same coming towards me. And maybe it’s the alcohol talking but I can’t help feeling like this.
No. 2344943
>>2344853>we will find out eventually when a 4-year-old is sleeping in our bed and ruining our life>her almost 30 years old son would die without her because mom does everything for himClassic boymom behaviour strikes again. She must be very mentally weak if a small child coming to her for comfort would "ruin her life" (and ofc if she's jealous of an infant.) I agree with
>>2344935 you'd be better off going no contact if you can.
No. 2344957
>>2344728Break up periods under the guise of "figuring things out" etc is just a period to fuck others. Why else would there be a break? Relationships are basically just a commitment for sex/romance so if you're saying "let's break that commitment for a while" you're literally saying "let's open up so we both can fuck or date other people" and that's it. If you wanted to work on the current relationship to actually figure things out there wouldn't be a break at all. If it was just a normal break up, then again you were broken up so he was free to do whatever he wanted. Just because he had a "right" to do it doesn't mean it wasn't hurtful to you and that you're not allowed to be upset.
You're not really hurt that he had hook ups with others while broken up, which is how they're seeing it.
You're hurt that you meant so little to him that immediately after losing you rather than to be sad his first thought was to happily fuck others - while you were likely in emotional turmoil needing time to open up to another person romantically. You saw your bond as a special commitment that you had because you loved each other, he saw it as a leash that didn't let him fuck others so as soon as he was off it, he went to fuck others. Basically what you've learned is that he's not emotionally exclusively committed to you, that he at any time could go and fuck someone else. That you're not emotionally invested on the same level and you're not as "special" to him as you thought/wanted to be.
And the fact that he (and why the fuck is his mom even part of the equation, ew) is defensive about it rather than acting like he's genuinely sorry if that hurt you is just another red flag.
No. 2344958
File: 1736767750407.jpg (43.92 KB, 735x639, 06df2e799503072ad1eb15c950e537…)
This morning I finally requested some help and medication towards my anxiety that has been ruining my life. I was always an anxious child, feeling embarrassed and that I never fit in or just felt strange/weird around others. Unfortunately because of the stigma towards girls and women's mental health and dismissing it as bitchiness or hormones, I never got the right support or guidance I desperately needed even when I started self-harming in my teens and started doing dumb shit like meeting boys in unsafe places.
I just turned 27 this month and thought I might as well start 2025 by trying to help myself before worrying about the worst possible scenario in every other situation. I am tired of feeling like I'm constantly being judged, laughed at, tired of feeling insecure or that I'm just dumb or useless or have wasted my years. Tired of 1 million different things going through my head at once and being unable to properly relax or feel like I'm worthy of relaxing because of intense guilt or shame. Maybe medication won't fix everything no, but I'm hoping it will tone things down so that I can actually start driving my car again, start going out again and start living life like I deserve to.
Truthfully I have no idea how the medication will affect me but my doctor did set me on a low dose of one of the versions that has little side effects and I am going to have a follow-up appointment in a few weeks to see how I'm doing. He also discussed therapy and gave me links to that too, though to be honest after growing up researching this shit on the internet for years I kind of feel like I'm too "self aware" about everything to properly benefit from therapy. Could be wrong though. I just want to be able to have that "free spirit" and spontaneous side of me back that I used to have a few years ago. Please let this work out!!!
No. 2344968
File: 1736768234720.jpg (60.41 KB, 736x702, a7a991a5c67035746c0307e386fdeb…)
I'm a useless autist who was lucky enough to get a job but I just lost it. The company went down so there wasn't even anything I did wrong. I feel so hopeless, this was my one chance to be and do something in life and I lost it all now all that exists for my future is to be a neet until I die. I wish I hadn't even gotten the job because it allowed me to have hope and dreams that I could have a nice life and now that it's been ripped out of my hands I feel like such an idiot for daring to ever think things could be ok. I'm suicidal over it all, there's no reason to live anymore
No. 2344969
>>2344957If nonna would have done the same he would have gotten mad about it. Scrotes like this one can’t take what they dish out kek.
Anyway he doesn’t even see that what he did hurt you, it doesn’t matter whether it was fair, wrong or right, his actions hurt you. He is instead condescending annd trying to shift the blame on you for feeling hurt and even telling his mother your business? Kick him to the curb please.
No. 2344972
>>2344968What happened was those corporate hubristic parasites overestimated their budget and wasted the time of a decent person like yourself. You’re better than them, please understand that. Don’t be grateful for the scraps they throw you, you deserve to sit at the table. Dust yourself off and try again, this time pick a better company that actually knows what it’s fucking doing.
This is something that happens to everyone, not just you.
No. 2344985
>>2344942I'm
>>2344927It doesn't need to be a big fight or a confrontation anon. I get it I don't like conflict either. But there is nothing rude about simply stating the truth of the matter, that you just can't afford what she's expecting. She's acting kind of stupid and entitled but I understand she's your friend. If you want to continue on with this friendship, the best thing you could do is adjust her expectations of you to reality in a straightforward way. If she can't take the reality of it, then oh well, no need for that kind of person in your life anyway.
No. 2345029
File: 1736775077324.jpg (25.63 KB, 317x426, 9aeb0fe23d9376534322e069b1b188…)
I was at the grocery store and this random woman just HANDED me her baby??? He was so damn heavy and big for a 3 months old, too, and weirdly cold. He was just…looking at me, intently, like he knew something I didn't. My mom came back and was so surprised I was casually holding this random giant baby in my arms. What the fuck
No. 2345071
File: 1736776994720.jpg (79.37 KB, 828x651, tumblr_31a43187abe76b210fff5e4…)
my older sister hasnt left for work since christmas vacation and I really can't stand being around her as mean as that sounds. I do love her but I hate her behavior. She just makes the whole place messy. She doesnt wash dishes but makes the most dishes. She ruined my apartment and I cant even say anything about it because it would lead to an argument. I vow to never let family stay with me ever again after this. My next apartment will be mine and if I share it with someone it's going to be someone that I am fucking so I at least get arm candy to look at. More than anything I just want to live in my own little quiet apartment close to my good paying job away from my dirty ass family.
No. 2345107
File: 1736778456190.jpg (19.66 KB, 400x400, 1658539807066399.jpg)
Even on image boards, I am ignored and belittled. Time to kill EVERYBODY and then myself.
No. 2345117
File: 1736778798944.jpg (93.07 KB, 979x1048, tumblr_a06f961be134fd8a4544cfa…)
I have anxiety because I need to clean my apartment and declutter my hoard. No matter how much I try I cannot help myself from having an extreme amount of possessions, all of my family have hoarder tendencies. Help.
No. 2345145
>>2345129the biggest hurdle for me wouldn't be quitting lc even, it would just be harder for me to socialize irl than it already is. Or, at least, that's what i fear.
I'm planning to work up quitting the internet gradually - completely stop using it for a day, try a week, then maybe a month. I would be surprised if i actually completed the month lel.
I feel like there needs to be some kind of wider No-Surf movement, ironically you would have to use the Internet to find out about it, though. I'm sure that in 5 years it'll become more widepsread.
No. 2345357
File: 1736788970163.jpg (8.78 KB, 316x265, 1000070394.jpg)
Studies need to be done on whatever hormone is released when you're about to get off of work that acts as a homing beacon and signals customers that NOW is the time to call/order/bug you. Seriously I'm at the front for one full hour and people only ever call in my last ten minutes, it wouldn't be a big deal except I'm extremely socially inept and especially bad at talking on the phone, it makes me so nervous. Anyway the customer got so frustrated with me she actually hung up, sorry but not really because why does this keep happening. Call/come in ten minutes later, damn.
No. 2345439
File: 1736792832477.jpg (73.16 KB, 1315x248, 676556567.jpg)
i wish every one of you who used to say "it's just homophobia against men when they say gay or homosexual they mean men it will never involve lesbians i'm totes a dyke myself and i encourage it" to kys because this is the shit you all attracted here
No. 2345476
>>2345458it didn't used to foster homophobic shit like this either. the userbase has gotten worse, not only in this regard. when shit like this starts popping up here, it is given it is going on different places too.
the backslash has begun, buckle up gay nonnies. some of you let it slide when people posted their nudge nudge wink wink gays are so gross homosexuality is so gross only talking about moids though teehee and now we have people openly telling self hating lesbian anons that yeah the reason why they feel like their relationships are lacking compared to het relationships is actually because it's unnatural to be gay. i told people this ages ago and people called me a crazy bitch, and yet, here we are.
>>2345463the moment they decide the problem is them being homosexual and not them being moids leads to them deciding that homosexual women are a problem too eventually. unfortunate fact is that no matter how shitty gay moids can be, if you let people tell you the reason they are shitty is because they are gay they will soon come after you too because if the homosexuality is the problem then homosexual women share this problem too.
>>2345468what about "homosexuality is not innate to people" is perfectly sensical? you are a homophobe.
>>2345471what about my post implies that i think this place is specifically for lesbian women? why asking respect for lesbian women and our orientation is an attack against you?
No. 2345479
>>2345458literally kek
>>2345476NTA and not to sound rude but are you ESL?
No. 2345486
>>2345476Homosexuality isn’t innate to human nature because heterosexuality is actually what keeps humanity going and continues life on earth? It’s not homophobic for anons to reaffirm that during a conversation about what homosexual relationships are missing, when that
is precisely what it is.
No. 2345489
>>2345486why does homosexuality exist in animals then?
>>2345487i haven't done that. infact, i have said that it's misogynist bullshit to act like that and gotten attacked over that too!
No. 2345490
>>2345481ayrt, i just wanna say
>why asking respect for lesbian women and our orientation is an attack against you?i’m reading the other thread where this encounter occurred and it doesn’t seem as though anyone participating in that discussion was trying to be disrespectful or hateful against lesbians or any homosexuals at all, i also don’t see anyone in this thread or the other thread on the opposing side of the conversation claiming to feel attacked by lesbians…
No. 2345494
>>2345490homophobia is disrespectful and hateful against lesbians. claiming our sexuality is not innate, or that our relationships are obviously lacking or unnatural compared to heterosexual relationships is text book homophobia.
>>2345491if people are born homosexual how is it then not innate to people? homosexuality is not a disablility like a missing finger. homosexuality itself doesn't cause health problems or other issues.
>>2345491 No. 2345512
>>2345506does not birthing children cause women problems? is it a health issue? are heterosexual women who don't have kids sick?
>>2345507you are a homophobe. there is no way around it. you are spewing very typical homophobic rhetoric.
No. 2345520
>>2345515"very real issue" what's the issue, exactly? some people might mistakenly think they are gay? what's the problem exactly about that? so what if some trend chasing zoomer thinks they are gay for few years before going back to being straight?
you are a homophobe.
No. 2345534
>>2345520>what's the issue, exactly? some people might mistakenly think they are gay? anon, have you been reading my posts in their entirety? from the beginning of this discussion, i’ve told you that no, homosexuality actually is not ‘natural’ to human attraction; the majority of adults who grow up to claim that they are homosexual were usually children who experienced some form of sexual abuse or neglect as a child. you made the attempt at claiming that this is “homophobic rhetoric” when that’s not accurate at all, it’s bringing attention to a very real issue that’s been present in our society for many years, and will not be abolished so long as individuals like
yourself continue to idiotically write off citizens speaking on this topic as “homophobia” and nothing of importance.
No. 2345536
>>2345508Their internalized misogyny goes unchecked daily but the minute the discussion turns on them even slightly everyone is homophobic and the reeing begins. There's no point in even participating once it happens, they're always the
victim because they are the gayest gay who ever gayed and they must be protected at all costs. Kek
No. 2345549
>>2345542I’m too burger brained to ever be able to get into K/Jdramas
>>2345544NTA but higher rates is actually what majority means, and I feel like if we still took the time to do a study on if gays/lesbians frequently experience child abuse we might continue to get the same answer
No. 2345551
>>2345544also need to read the study properly for sample sizes, to see who made the study, who funded it, where they asked, when they asked, or here
>>2345538LGBQ, meaning, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, queer people, who faced most of the abuse, the homosexual people or self identified queers which can mean anything? who was this study from and who for, is there ideology involved etc. these are things that can be taken to accord
No. 2345558
File: 1736796477049.png (369.66 KB, 1170x1459, screenshot of study(1).png)
>>2345554well that actually just kind of adds to the point i was making. They sexually traumatized a child, who then grew into an adult that claims to be lesbian/gay
>>2345551Here’s a screenshot from the study
nonny No. 2345568
File: 1736796857875.gif (1.5 MB, 512x512, 1736517081305.gif)
People are not nice
No. 2345569
>>2345551for example, speaking of mental health: apparently in societies that don't stigmatize hearing voices as much compared to western societies, people who hear voices often hear positive voices they believe to be advice from ancestors etc. compared to societies with heavy stigma against it people who hear voices often hear negative voices. mental health can be cultural.
so, where were these people studied? what societies? what age groups? what class? what is their attitude towards homosexuality? how can that affect how homosexuality is viewed, do people in all kinds of societies with different attitudes towards homosexuality end up identifying as gay after sexual abuse or porn use, or just in certain kinds or societies with certain kinds of attitudes? what countries are we talking about?
does that say something about homosexuality itself, or about social attitudes towards homosexuality and how people behave about it? what do these results reflect in that sense?
No. 2345577
File: 1736797263732.jpg (79.94 KB, 800x450, 1698926682247.jpg)
No. 2345588
>>2345584my point is, homosexuality is a thing that has existed way before porn was a thing. homosexuality is a thing that exist in other species than humans. can be it truly said that homosexuality as a phenomenon is caused almost entirely because of porn, mental health issues, sexual abuse, when it is a thing that exists outside of those factors too? who molested the lesbian albatrosses? were they emotionally abused as chicks by their parents? who showed porn to the famous gay penguin couple? comparison to animals is
valid, because humans are animals too. why did homosexuality exist before porn? why is homosexuality and it's possible relation so sexual abuse under scrutiny, but heterosexuality isn't when there are people who claim that they seeked het sex after sexual abuse? (insert gs debate here)
No. 2345595
>>2345588>homosexuality is a thing that has existed way before porn was a thing.Yes, adults have been abusing children and exposing them to sexual and emotional trauma for many centuries now. it is tragic
>what about the lesbian albatrosses? We’re not discussing animals anon, neither were the users in the thread where this conversation began. the question initially asked was “what are homosexual relationships missing”, not “can homosexuality exist across several species” kek
No. 2345610
>>2345598>>23456021) learn2delete and reupload when you have something to add 2) we’ve already acknowledged upthread that
victims of heterosexual C/SA and other types of abuse can also grow up to identify as homosexual as well? at least read the conversation in its entirety before angrily responding kek
No. 2345617
>>2345603Anon, the definition of homophobia is being
against homosexuality. It is not being against homosexuality to bring attention to the extensive amount of abuse (both emotional and sexual, both hetero and homosexual) that adults who grow up to identify as homosexual experience as children.
No. 2345621
>>2345610>we’ve already acknowledged upthread that victims of heterosexual C/SA and other types of abuse can also grow up to identify as homosexual as well?you learn to read. why don't you consider heterosexuality itself abuse too when heterosexual abuse exists? why is homosexuality itself abuse because homosexual abuse exists, but heterosexuality is just fine and natural?
if heterosexual reproduction is so natural, why does the female body actively try to reject pregnancy? why does the female body treat the fetus like a parasite? why does the female body attack semen when it enters her? why is so much of heterosexual sex based on violence and hierarchy, why is most heterosexual porn violent? is this a sign hetrosexuality is violent and invasive itself?
No. 2345639
File: 1736799246743.png (131.47 KB, 347x299, 1000030859.png)
All sexualities except being a nonce (which is a paraphilia) or a troon (mental illness) are okay. Men will be men regardless of what gets their dicks hard, there's no "purest" or "best" orientation. The seethers itt can rage about it as much as they want but it's the truth kek
No. 2345650
File: 1736799590050.jpg (227.74 KB, 2000x1600, 113ccabc-ed71-4da0-960b-5b587b…)
>>2345645>some freaky autistic gyno shoving their hands between my legs and obsessively watching over meKekkkk oh my god
No. 2345658
To bring it back to venting I think a huge factor in why my gestation went so well and I enjoyed myself was because I put effort and attention into giving myself whatever it was I wanted/needed, always felt comfortable, didn’t have to go to work, etc
>>2345652No I’m being for real nona, you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing when you’re pregnant and that includes seeing thirty million doctors every week kek
No. 2345659
File: 1736799894346.png (189.89 KB, 500x494, 1534518606313.png)
>feel like shit
>don't have any friends to talk to
>go on lolcor for the first time in 3 months
>vent thread is getting shat up with some type of bihet vs hetero vs lesbian infight for the 384765th time
Never change, anons
No. 2345673
File: 1736800334536.gif (60.67 KB, 182x182, 1000031300.gif)
>>2345659My crystal ball predicts that someone in this thread is going to go mask-off as a retard very soon and redtexts will be handed out like candy. After the massacre, anons will discuss something whimsical like ice cream flavours.
No. 2345674
File: 1736800383363.png (158.76 KB, 750x738, 1733928607708.png)
>>2345621>why does the female body actively try to reject pregnancy? why does the female body treat the fetus like a parasite? why does the female body attack semen when it enters her?I'm never getting pregnant and don't want children but be for real anon.
No. 2345679
File: 1736800626398.jpg (100.32 KB, 736x748, 1000004190.jpg)
>doctor at my job breaks my passenger-side mirror slipping when he gets out of his car
>b/c i was inside the building when it happened he is 100% at fault, his insurance company is going to cover the repairs and a rental in the meantime
>go get the rental
>even after explaining the situation they still need our insurance information…. okay nbd right?
>rental company reports to our insurance company that i have been involved in a collision
>car insurance payment goes up $20
insurance is such a scam
No. 2345688
File: 1736800971122.jpg (72.35 KB, 622x834, 1000003162.jpg)
Oh god, now two separate breeds of lolcow retard are going to attempt to explain biology.
No. 2345689
>>2345681but majority of heterosexual intercourse still doesn't lead to pregnancy because majority of the sperm gets killed, female body often self aborts without women even noticing it, or in cases of natural disasters etc women get miscarriages because the body places the woman's/it's own life over the fetuses.
>>2345682yes, humans are species that reproduces sexually but still it is a dangerous progress for woman's body so the body will protect itself against it rather than just let any sperm through. in that way, female body is hostile against it. it will not accept just any kind of sperm at any time, like when it comes to disasters, starvation, etc. when it comes to the miscarriages i mentioned before.
No. 2345693
>>2345673Rocky Road is so good
Sorry, idk if I'm going to be online by the time the whimsy talk comes back so wanted to get that out there now
No. 2345698
File: 1736801324809.jpg (11.2 KB, 540x468, de1c0f586b51e375a76d48dd3a22d1…)
I hate that most of my friends don't earn enough to travel, even within europe. I want to travel a lot more, I want to compensate for not being able to do it in during most of my 20's because I was earning shit salaries and was late figuring out what kind of career I wanted to approach. But the friends I know earn enough kinda gives me this empty stare when I bring up travelling overseas, it frustrates me so fucking much. I have my passport ready in my hallway drawer, ready to grab and go (if my job OKs my leave ofc), and I am not a complicated person - I'm usually the friend people turn to when in need to advice or bring back to reality because I'm very down to earth. The couple of times I've managed to go overseas with someone they always get surprised by how I'm pretty easy to travel with: I am very communicative, I put everything on the table even before ordering tickets so we are sure everyone are all on board with the plans, if it's a longer trip I make an excel arc we can share so we can bring up what we want to do and dates if we have to book tickets for that specific thing and what might be around the area that we could check out while we're there. I don't mind going off alone if no one wants to join me on a thing I want to check out or I get tired and want to take a break at the hotel (we are all independent adults after all), and I don't mind compromising about things either. I don't have much of a temper either and I prefer to find solutions where all parts get at least somewhat what they want.
I just want to experience other countries, other cuisines, cultures and whatnot together with some people that also will have to listen to my bad jokes. I don't want to do it alone, and I'm a bit too introverted to do it with strangers.
No. 2345723
>>2345689The anons saying that homosexuality is a result of CSA are schizos so I was on your side during the rest of the debate, but this is retarded as fuck anon. Obviously a female animal's body prioritizes staying alive over giving birth, it's nature's way of making sure she survives so she can reproduce even more in the future instead of popping out babies that will die without their mother.
>>2345698When and how do you usually bring up travelling together? Maybe asking really far in advance and giving a reason to go somewhere together would help? Like celebrating a friendship anniversary or something
No. 2345749
>>2345689By your logic no pregnancy would ever finish. The main part of evolution is reproduction, an animal that cannot reproduce fails and is extinct. Humans thrived before medicine.
>>2345723>Obviously a female animal's body prioritizes staying alive over giving birth, it's nature's way of making sure she survives so she can reproduce even more in the future instead of popping out babies that will die without their mother. Exactly this. The female body may not always carry a pregnancy to term, something like 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages, but it's not because the female body doesn't want to be pregnant, it's because the zygote failed to attach, etc (the
overwhelming majority happens at the very early stages), meaning there was something wrong with it. Once the body considers the pregnancy viable, it will focus on keeping it.
No. 2345758
>>2345723Mostly when other people express wanting to go overseas
which is a lot now that we are halfway through winter, I typically list possible interesting places to visit and gauge the reactions (if I get any) to see if I managed to bring up a place they might have an interest in.
Tbh I DID get some glittery eyes and some interest this weekend when I brought up perhaps going on a "culture snob week" to London sometime this summer, see if we can catch some theatres or ballets that's available. I think they sort of got a taste for it since we had earlier that day gone on a walk and stumbled upon an opera singer that was doing a spontaneous live show up on a snowy hill, super idyllic and inspiring.
But even so, it's a bit of a gamble on if the interest is going to be kept up for longer than a week.
No. 2345804
File: 1736803847858.png (88.38 KB, 504x233, babies.png)
It makes me sad when a youtuber I like start to get tired of their job, and it gets slowly more obvious how much they dislike making videos now.
And when I say sad I mean sad for myself because I struggle to find creators I genuinely like or that brings me at least a quiet chuckle every now and then. I don't feel particularly sorry for the creator, especially if they got an editor doing the heavy lifting.
Or even worse, they troon out.
No. 2345873
>>2345840Start diagnosing
them on your next session
No. 2346006
File: 1736810491848.png (350.92 KB, 736x881, 1734048276139.png)
I have to stop binge drinking alone in my room every night because the new semester starts tomorrow but I don't want to
No. 2346092
>>2345615I feel you,
nonnie. More so on the second point because so many men are violent, cruel, dismissive, unempathetic and straight up incompatible with women in a huge way. I have those fantasies too though it helps sort of to see most women my age stuck with gross scrotes who do nothing for them. I feel awful for them but at the same time I feel so free and proud of sticking up for myself in waiting for a better class of guy.
It's fun being a yume girl and you can get over the need for romance and sex to some extent through close friendships and masturbation, though it's human to want a deeper connection. Ultimately you should do what your heart desires in the safest way possible, don't be afraid to seek out men but be prepared for some intial disappointment and pushing for good treatment off the bat. A zero tolerance policy for shitty moid behaviour has given me my sanity back kek
No. 2346094
File: 1736814545033.png (1.5 MB, 1284x918, Yuck.png)
>>2346068My bf looks like this when he’s gaming
No. 2346242
File: 1736820606715.jpg (49.32 KB, 612x612, istockphoto-487729761-612x612.…)
I just saw extremely graphic Brian Griffin x Peter Griffin yaoi I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.
No. 2346288
>>2345723>>2345749i don't understand why you are offended that your own bodies have quality control over pregnancy kek???? because that's what it is. female body making sure that if it's going to waste time and resources to pregnancy, it will do it only when there's a good reason for it and won't let any loser sperm through. do you think the women who popped out 5 babies only had sex with their moids 5 times? and by what logic pregnancy would never end?
you get told that actually, just because you are women you are not walking baby machines and instead your body will protect itself from pregnancy if needed because your body prioritizes itself and you over the fetus and will treat sperm like a invading force instead of free all loser sperm all welcome here passive thing, and you get mad. why???
No. 2346305
>>2346254One time I wanted to send spongebobxsquidward yaoi to troll a scrote but tbh most of it was really hot and well drawn.
I still sent him it and then remarked on how hot it was. He blocked me.
No. 2346310
>>2346292like i don't understand my entire point was that if homosexuality can be deemed basically biologically unnatural/bad because of violent homosexually
abusive actions by people, does that mean heterosexuality can also be deemed biologically unnatural/bad because of it's built-in "violence" when it comes to pregnancy (that exists for a reason to protect women; quality control) and social violence too (violent porn, violence against women etc? points that got ignored)? if heterosexuality cannot be deemed bad/unnatural because of those things, why is homosexuality as a phenomenon itself deemed bad/unnatural, (when it also exists as a phehomenon in animals without the social violence you get with humans)? that was the point. does sexuality become unnatural and a bad thing if there is social violence related to it, or in case of heterosexuality, even built-in protections for females that come off "violence"/"hostility" towards the entire point of heterosexual sex?
No. 2346412
File: 1736831956277.png (57.93 KB, 399x399, 7289426995216.PNG)
>joins 7cups
>looks up listeners
>40 year old polyamorous kinksters
>18 year old self-harming gendies
>connects to anonymous chat
>esl indian moid
No. 2346415
File: 1736832071281.jpg (301.05 KB, 1200x650, chopcry.jpg)
House fire lolita here from a couple of weeks ago.
Everything is gone, my job switched me to a different area and it has been awful. I can't afford to rebuy everything I lost nor is it possible with the amount of accessories and dresses. Binge eating and vomitting from stress made me bloated and gain weight.
Went to a con with friends, hoping it will make me feel better but instead, they all continued with their group cosplay without me. Friend was showing off her jfashion collection to me and her planned outfits, kept joking about being the "no lolita lolita", friends would leave me alone during the con, would just go sit in panels alone to not feel lonely. Bought cool shirts, blouse, and cute skirts just for friends to say they would look better in them since I am fairly big now.
Back at my hotel alone, everyone is posting their hauls, I feel poor with my small haul.
I just wanted to have fun after having a very stressful couple of weeks.
I just came back after work and been crying while eating dinner. I just want to end it all sooner or later.
No. 2346504
File: 1736881820499.png (944.88 KB, 561x561, suicidal cat.png)
I moved 2 weeks ago and I missed the first General Garbage bin day. Next one is 2 weeks from now
No. 2346550
File: 1736883860735.jpg (72.76 KB, 1179x1188, Gf_I9z-WwAA-lgl.jpg)
I have to cut myself off from an online friend I've made recently because it's ruining my life. Initially we got along really well and I ended up accidentally getting obsessed with her, I now care about her far more than she cares about me. I've had a full scale mental breakdown over this already and I keep triggering myself because I just want to get closer but I have no idea if she would reciprocate, I don't even know if she even really sees me as a true friend. Also I know she has other friends and I'm the one barging in feeling like I've known her for years. How much is too much, am I being creepy, how can I keep the convo flowing in a casual way, things like that. I hate being an autistic and traumatised piece of shit clinging onto someone like this just because I think they're cool and they were nice to me when I reached out asking to be friends. I think I've also been crushing on her a bit when I've never felt like that for another woman before, but that's a separate issue. I just think it's such a shame because we share so much in common, including an interest I never, ever get to talk to other women about. I always ruin everything for myself. I don't want to traumadump and say this to her directly because I don't want her to feel like she has to pity me with her attention, she isn't the type to start convos it's been me poking her.
No. 2346576
>>2345145>i'm sure that in 5 years it will become more widespreadi hope so
nonnie, one of my biggest pipedreams is a world-wide movement of reducing screen usage and a reinforcement of laws protecting nature to go with it. god i hope it happens at least on a small wave
No. 2346579
>>2346550I bet she does think of you as a real friend. Some people are less inclined to connect online with others. I have been the "aloof" online friend and was surprised to learn how badly someone craved my attention. I really did think of her as a good friend, but in their mind, a good friendship meant talking a loootttt more than I was comfortable with. I'm genuinely busy and distracted by things going on with my job, family, irl friends, whatever. I also like to watch movies without talking to anyone for a long time, like a lazy slob. It was really crushing to learn that I was killing someone's soul by just being myself – sittin' around eating chips thinking I had a good friend – and finding out it was way, way different for her. It also felt kind of creepy.
She messaged me and said "When you don't respond to me for a few hours, it makes me feel hated." I didn't hate her at all, there was no universe where I found her repulsive or annoying, but that changed everything. At least she was honest. In the end, we had a talk about it, and I realized I couldn't give her what she needed. Giving a chunk of my attention that huge to just one person is draining and exhausting and impossible for me. Everyone's different. This friend also cut me off, which was sad for me but also I understood that I would have to be a completely different person to give her what she wanted. Good on you for self awareness. When you asked how much is too much, you answered your own question: seeking pity and trauma dumping is too much. And you don't seem to have done that. Less contact is probably good for you.
No. 2346583
>>2346415Oh god nonna I'm so sorry, this is the biggest fucking nightmare. Did you at least get some money back from your insurance?
Also your "friends" are pathetic and do not like you.
No. 2346594
>>2346415>Bought cool shirts, blouse, and cute skirts just for friends to say they would look better in them since I am fairly big now.wtf nonna, that is not what decent friends should say. As awful as it sounds, might be a good idea to use this "fresh start" to get some new friends as well. Seems like they don't really care for you.
Also I know it's hard, but don't compare yourself to them after you've been through such an awful experience.
No. 2346603
>>2346598samefag, i guess maybe it could be better in the long run that they blew me off. because if they decided not to work with me
before we got to the point of me telling them about my private life, I cannot imagine how they would’ve reacted to me actually opening up to them kek
No. 2346654
File: 1736888262182.jpg (555.93 KB, 1638x2048, 1c8fyk29f87b1-1457445914.jpg)
>>2345107are you getting gangstalked?
>>2345452same here. always getting called out for sperging or ignored for tl;dr.
>>2346516this relates to my vent. i hate my shitlib city. i am stuck here. coming from a conservative country, this place is a hellhole in comparison. things like troons are the norm here, even though this place is called right-wing, homophobic, intolerant and racist all the time. there's rainbow flags everywhere. i have even seen a poster advertising condoms for gay sex, with a graphic of men moaning and grimacing, with only the condom illustrations covering their dicks. the people here are literally libtarded. i was joking with my then boyfriend ex, acting silly and immature, making peepee poopoo jokes, and he seriously brought up anal stretching and scat fetish, and said that he likes getting his butt fingered, but does not douche. i thought he was playing a character. later on he acted like he had to cape for a trans friend because i said that i'm against kids trooning, and asked if this friend got molested in his childhood. in reply he called me a transphobe and then started cheating, which he thought was a big own. at that point i did not even care, because i was too busy with work. almost everyone here is a massive whore. the dating app i used only showed polyamorous people or really weird profiles. i'm assuming continually using dating apps is a poly people thing, and the others were waiting for scraps. i used to put up with liberals and redditards but now i think these individuals are actual soyjaks. these nerd styles and chubby tards make me cringe. the smart and talented ones are still stupid as fuck in demeanor and are mentally exhausting.
No. 2346686
This is a long one I'm sorry.
I jinxed myself the other day by telling my stepdad that my mother hasn't had a NPD meltdown at me in like a month. It's cyclical and I should have known it was coming.
Yesterday I went to schedule a colonoscopy, since I am having possible cancer symptoms, and I'm worried about my work insurance not covering it. I have the same insurance of that CEO who got whacked because they're notorious for auto-denying claims. I'm under 45 and even though I have symptoms there is a high chance they will not cover it and I make too much salary on paper–think lower middle class–to qualify for any kind of assistance. I already have a several thousand dollar bill from a hospital emergency I had over the summer.
Anyways, I made the egregious error of trying to vent this anxiety to my mother. If she so much as assumes I am trying to ask her for help/money, even though I didn't in this instance, she does everything she can to distance herself and wash her hands clean that I am not her "responsibility." She's very guilty and ashamed when I struggle in life so she often shifts blame onto me so she doesn't have to feel bad about herself as a parent for being unwilling or unable to physically, emotionally, nor financially offer any kind of support. It's not for her lack of any three btw, she's just an incredibly selfish woman with a narcissistic personality.
So, imagine you went to your parent to vent about how you cannot afford your healthcare (I pay $300/month for the 'best' insurance my job has to offer) and how you wished things were different or that we had more money, just to be met with "Well you're not entitled to my help. You haven't been my responsibility since you turned 18 and you should have been more financially responsible in life to be able to afford it. You're spoiled that you have lived here for the past year and I haven't charged you rent," as if I were talking about wanting to buy a designer purse and not checking for cancer! By the way, I have offered to pay bills for the house but she refuses me solely for the purpose of lording how I don't pay bills over my head for fights like these later. She weaponizes money against me constantly.
I'm not a perfect reactor to her callousness, I admit. I find her demeaning nature so traumatizing that I often get baited into her juvenile word games and circular arguing. It's been this way for me ever since I stopped being a little girl doll for her to control and became my own person with feelings towards how she treats me. She yells at me for hours, and in my teenage years she would stress me into hives. I often cannot voice that I don't like how she speaks to me because she will turn it around and play victim with literal whataboutyouism. She never reflects on her behaviors and always has an excuse for everything bad she does. But I digress.
Before I knew next, the subject was no longer about my health but about everythinggg she finds wrong about me. How I don't help her and never do shit for her (lies btw–I literally take her on 'dates' per her demands that I entertain her, buy her groceries, and other household supplies so she can wear fresh pajamas everyday sitting at home on her pension watching youtube videos of black people getting arrested). She also brought up and has never let me live down the fact that I went no contact with her for four years when I had a house with my ex. If you ask her why I went no contact, she'll say it's that I "abandoned" her after she divorced my stepdad, but it's actually because of a fight where she blamed me for being raped on a date whereas she thought her third divorce was bigger than my "boy problems" aka MY RAPE.
Anyways, I started shouting that I forgave her for being a narcissist, but I hate her and that she is a fucking bitch and I will never forget the shit she says to me. She vehemently denies being a narc and hates that I recognize this in her behavior. Unfortunately calling her a bitch sealed her self-righteous indignation. I don't remember a lot of what she tore me down about next (aside from her other choice lies i.e. claiming I was on her insurance until I was 26 but she retired when I was 21 and I did not have health insurance again until my first call center job at 24), because I put my headset on and tried to play a game of tetris on my laptop to disengage from her. For almost an hour, without me saying a word back to her, I could hear her thru my headset her still going off at me. Talking trash about me like I wasn't even there, threatening to kick me out while I said nothing. She looooooves threatening me with removing my living situation and lords it over my head. She's like a toddler who you just have to wait out until she tires herself from her tantrum or until she's satisfied with all the nasty shit she's said.
After she finally was done and went back to her youtube videos, I started quietly sobbing from her cruelty. I wished I had a mother who loved me and doesn't think unhelpful criticism is actual parenting. Who even if she couldn't financially help me would at least say comforting platitudes like "Well let's hope for the best," or "Chin up," or "That's so unfair but we can figure it out."
No. Instead she hears me sobbing and says "Sorry that the truth hurt your feelings but someone's gotta do it!"
I lost my god damn mind at her! Imagine being so deluded about making people needing cancer screenings upset that you narrate yourself as some sort of beacon of honesty! Even though I let this cunt dig at me uninterrupted for a fucking hour she can't even let me have CRYING by myself! So I got in her fucking face–oh yeah, she's a retired teacher so she knows how to push buttons on vulnerable people to get her victims to react while acting like a saint–and she claimed I was "elderly abusing" her. Sidenote: I believe she got the term "elder abuse" from watching parents of estranged children content on the internet because aside from name-calling after she's insulted me, I have never done anything to her and I think it's dangerous that she's accusing me of that in hindsight. I yelled my fuck yous at her. I told her I hope she remembers her words when she dies because I will always hate her for them. That when her cigarette smoking and sweets eating and no exercise finally catches up with her and she dies alone, that she can comfort herself by knowing she brought it upon herself and that it was no one else's "responsibility" to help her rotten bitch ass out.
I looked her in the eyes. Remember how she'd been the one angry and yelling at me for over an hour? When I exploded–nothing. No reaction, her eyes were glassed and empty like a lizard's with an air of reptillian satisfaction that she got me. Smug and eye rolling at me, didn't care that I was so upset and definitely not listening to me. Asked her if she even cared that she was so mean all she could say was "Well it's about time!" All she could do was repeat "Back off. Are you trying to intimidate me? Don't touch me." As if I ever touched her before–but I sure do remember her manhandling me and grabbing me in her rage when I was young. Horrific, evil fucking bitch. As I motioned to leave the house she yelled at me to "Go stay with your scumbag stepfather since you love him so much! You're only here with me because you don't have a choice!!! You probably can't wait until I die, in fact you're probably picking fights with me hoping that I do!!!!" She's so fucking despicable…like a comic book villain. She stopped taking her Wellbutrin so she is running around unmedicated but I'm unsure if that explains any amount of this disgusting shit she says. I screamed at her that she may have her fucking house but she is going to lose her only daughter.
I left to go ugly weep in a public park while I figured out what to do next. She's ran me out of the house like this before multiple times. My stepdad is well aware of her narcissism so thankfully he was in town for a project and offered to let me stay at his hotel for the night. But I had to return home after work to grab an overnight bag. She was there waiting for me. She cannot just leave me alone and let things settle after fights because she feels so much guilt and cannot deal with herself. I didn't say a word to her but she cornerned me in the bathroom saying "We both need to go to counseling or else you cannot stay here." LOL. She wants to go to counseling to manipulate a therapist into telling her nothing is her fault and retconning her psychotic episode at me as reasonable concerns. She did the same thing to me years ago when I went to her therapy sessions after her divorce and it was all about her being the biggest victim ever and how every bad thing she ever done had a good reason or it's all men's faults. Of course when I went no contact, she never went to therapy again because I wasn't around to manipulate so it was pointless for her because it's not about her improvement or addressing her personality problems. I refuse to be manipulated by this bitch anymore. And even though I had empathy for her, realizing she is a broken human whose behaviors are informed by her own traumas, she is an enemy to me because she kicks me while I'm down even though she knows better.
Yet she's absolutely right about ONE thing and everyone who knows my mother agrees–I need to get away from her. She's a traitorous black hole of a person who takes a shot at innocent people when she needs a power trip. There are reasons why she has three divorces, no friends, and only her flying monkey brothers who are equally as messed up in their heads. I need to focus on my health right now and not how this bitch treats me. It's just hard, it's really hard for me to not just want to die. Thankfully, my friends, stepfather, and bf were very supportive when I was in crisis earlier.
No. 2346792
>>2346446>>2346583>>2346594Thank you nonnas, its encouraging to hear that my feelings are
valid. I am still fighting my insurance about my personal items, which they are trying to fight back by saying that lolita is a "collectable hobby" therefore, should have had "collectable insurance" like people have for comic books, classic cards, etc.
I am going to find new friends, I do not work in an environment where I can make friends but I will try by putting myself out there.
Any tips on how to make friends? It feels weird to ask because it is just about being social but I do not know where to start.
>>2346513Every hobby has their bad and good apples. Even "normie" hobbies have their bad apples and catty bitches and manchildren. Kayaking is a hobby I like but there's people who are snobby about it, there's snobby people within run clubs, etc. It is never about the hobbies, just the people themselves.
No. 2346849
>>2346823Eat cucumbers and vinegar. Not saying it as a meal, but as a snack kek.
I also always like to add a side dish with my meals that consists of boiled or grilled vegetables, no oil. Great way to add mass without adding too many calories, it helps your stool too.
No. 2346855
File: 1736897551065.jpeg (62.06 KB, 450x450, IMG_0815.jpeg)
>>2346823And beets, my weak spot. I love beets, they’re my life.
No. 2346885
File: 1736898693707.png (977.77 KB, 800x600, meeeeeewqgsdg.png)
I just made a financial mistake at work, and while it was not a huge one, and also it can be easily fixed, I'm so embarrassed because it was really stupid of me to not check it. The real problem is that my two senior coworkers have been sick for literally like a full week, and because of that I've been having to do everyone jobs IN ADDITION TO my own job. It's frustrating to get scorned for making a mistake (which, albeit, I did make such a mistake and it was my fault) but it was while my attention was split between 2 other jobs which are not technically my job. And I'm doing all this for an extremely low pay rate… Man, I gotta get out of here. Please send me good wishes, nonnies. I feel shame and embarrassment over my situation.
No. 2346886
>>2346654I swear to go finding true blue centrists who aren't either:
trannies and their TRA handmaidens who want to make women public property
or:
theobros and their pickme tardthots who want to make women private property
is fucking impossible irl. No one has any fucking nuance. This is why my country is going to shit.
Sorry you dated some freak who thinks mutilating the genitals of children is heckin based and
valid.
No. 2346900
File: 1736899440858.png (88.72 KB, 374x135, aan6bp3id1j01.png)
>fuck a guy during a manic phase
>tell him i want to be fwb
>coming off the phase and not into it anymore
>he's texting me with some desperation
No. 2347221
>>2346886yes! thanks nona. the political divide and conquer is working too well. there's these 2 options, troon or nazi. the dating pool is either redneck righties who find it a luxury to take a shower, or far-left fatties who would rally for calling out daily showerers as snobby, classist oppressors, if it was the new twitter trend.
>>2346898same. since i stopped being interested in anime or vidya, i have been better off. these cartoons and moba video games are the worst subcultures. i still like some, it's just so off-putting to get harassed by fujos and hentai-fags every time i mention anime. i get it's the tism but to straight up mention porn to a stranger you just started talking with is insane. i no longer tolerate it.
No. 2347244
File: 1736926947620.gif (935.97 KB, 200x190, rage.gif)
Are there any anons who are born to neet but forced to study? i am so tired. I start uni next month and i dont want to, i feel depressed, i want to kill myself. But my mom is forcing me to pick either college or working, and i am too retarded to work so i picked college. If i didnt really love drawing i would have hanged myself already. How do i deal with this shit? FUCK
No. 2347252
File: 1736928857168.jpg (132.15 KB, 1200x1330, 45546554654.jpg)
>>2347244The industrial revolution gained initial popularity because it was supposed to solve world hunger/homelessness and let us all be neets.
I don't understand how it ended up like this 200 years later.
No. 2347257
>>2347200>I vented my retarded opinion a while ago that we are all talking to each others shadows (a la Jung) on the internetI think you're right. People show the parts of them online that they can't get away with irl. But it doesn't have to be all bad? idk I like being nicer when I'm anon. Snarky, sure, but it feels good to help instead of hinder and being anonymous makes that easier sometimes
>I feel like I'm contributing to the collective hate every day on this site and on the internet in general.You don't have to do that though. You can leave places a little nicer than you left them just by directing that hatred somewhere it's deserved and laying off where it isn't. Or find more reasons to post in the positivity thread, idk. Sending love your way nonna, maybe our Jung shadows can hug it out or something.
No. 2347266
>>2347253Yeah. Sometimes I want to throat punch techfags who I know will become oligarch dogs. I know their industrious nature could be useful to society as a whole but at the end of the day they serve the very people who directly stand in the way of true progress.
A perfect utopia would be neetdom where everyone who wants to engage in their passions can do so, have a home, food, healthcare etc, can build upon it or just chill but no one ever lives below the bare minimum (necessities but not much else for the true bedrotters)
But instead we are stuck with people who are born into money who can only chase their chimpanzee addiction to resource hoarding and fail to see the bigger picture. Most tech is just used to fuck over the working class these days.
As much as I hate Kaczynski for being an AGP incel misogynist, he was absolutely correct in humanity being ill equipped to properly implement industrial progress for the objective betterment of humanity.
No. 2347270
Everything i was hoping for, everything i wanted for the longest time, is now officially ruined. All i wanted is to live with my girlfriend in my apartment and build our life together after all these years together online only. Now, it most likely will not happen ever and i must accept this now somehow. I'm so fucking broken and i seriously consider killing myself as there is literally nothing that can be done.
So we live in different countries, and the country we both are originally from and where she still resides is the retard shithole at war right now (russia). We cannot marry there due to homophobic laws, or anywhere else due to restrictions. We cannot live together to be considered domestic partners because russia is fucking retarded when it comes to same-sex couples, and i would have to lose everything i have in my home country.
We have tried the last resort method of moving her here and of course it didn't work. I received the negative decision just now. I wasted so much money, a whole year of waiting for a decision… It all was pointless. Better yet, each year the situation gets only worse. Like, literally yesterday, they had a suspicious internet outage that seems to be a test run of government blocking outside internet. I could not contact her, and she could not contact me until it ended.
This is so heartbreaking, nonnies. This woman is my whole life. Like we've been together for almost ten years, but we could not move together earlier as we were too young and still studying. The pandemic and war. And now i might lose her. I already cannot go to see her as it got extremely expensive to travel, so i cannot even hug her anymore. It's been a year since we saw each other face to face. I now I might lose her even online. The worst thing is that we are both deeply in love, like after all those years i only love her more. She is literally my soulmate. And she loves me too. But it can actually be the end to everything.
No. 2347284
File: 1736933276201.png (586.72 KB, 719x713, 1000019638.png)
>>2347244>born to neet>forced to studyYeah, but more towards working. I have to start school again just as my mother wants, like you, and I have another shift today. No matter how good or fast, or better in any way that I get at my job, it doesn't erase how little I want to be around all those fucking people. The work gets easier, but I remain tired of all these faces. Now it's about to be work AND study when all my heart wants is to frolic and bullshit in pure comfort.
No. 2347288
>>2347123Overdosing on something is not good method, it’s painful, it often doesn’t work. You’ll probably be hospitalized and your stomach will have to be pumped.
Seek help nonna, it does get better.
No. 2347291
>>2347200I hated that retard. Men are coddled and praised everywhere, but god forbid they aren’t here too. Gay scrotes have tons of shortcomings and they aren’t our allies, it just happens that they’re part of the same community, despite them doing absolutely nothing for the LB.
I find it gross how she said that scrotes experience misogyny because they take it up their ass kek.!
No. 2347307
File: 1736934970319.png (68.79 KB, 243x275, 1698684758381.png)
No. 2347313
>>2347307NYART but this image reminded me that this is the vent thread so I'm gonna say it
I do not understand the existence of fat men. It biologically shouldn't happen. Men aren't designed to get pregnant, give birth, or breast feed. They literally have no need to gain excess adipose tissue. Whenever I see a fat moid I am extra disgusted because they literally have no excuse for turning their body into a waste dump when they have other far more rational vices like jerking off or finding creative ways to kill themselves.
Moids that get above a certain body fat have proven themselves to be inherent failures and need to be thrown in the death camp.
Women who claim to like fat men are psyopped by mcdonalds or some shit. There's no other explanation.
No. 2347330
File: 1736936530183.gif (663.04 KB, 480x320, girlhiter.gif)
I wish there would be a female hitler who rose to power and instead of killing jews she killed fat men as the final solution. Obviously any other sort of undesirable male would also be put in the camps.
No. 2347337
File: 1736936770169.jpg (98.3 KB, 600x600, Santa.Claus.600.2726971.jpg)
>>2347330>Oh nooo but what about my heckin obese n jolly santa claus!pic rel.
No. 2347344
>>2347341that's so weird and innapropriate.
>older brother>he's not severely mentally ill or handicappedtell him to back the fuck off and i think you'd be justified in physically showing your boundaries.
No. 2347381
File: 1736942586936.jpeg (336.45 KB, 828x735, IMG_9103.jpeg)
I have an exam in an hour that I am woefully unprepared for, pray for me nonnas.. or dont because evidently I’m a fool for not studying enough
No. 2347486
File: 1736949428485.jpg (19.16 KB, 473x430, d09e8cd2199e1f93b301bfa288984d…)
I hate how being ugly all my life has messed with my head. I've recently started messaging with a guy, not really expecting much but we exchanged selfies and not only do I think he's beautiful he said he thinks the same of me. We agreed to meet as soon as we're both able. And now, as hot as I think he is, I'm considering flaking and ghosting him. He's been nothing but sweet and polite, calling me pet names, always answering my texts, not being a perv etc. and it has been torture. I'm constantly oscillating between wanting him badly and then somehow believing it to be a trick. I've never had a guy I'm attracted to ask me out. My last relationship was with an obese autist stoner 5 years my senior (who btw called me "mid" when I asked him if he thought I was pretty) and for the longest of time I have believed myself to be unlovable. Now this happens and I'm thrown for a loop. I've been crying with anxiety, either believing I have somehow tricked him or that there's something he's not telling me. I've sent him a couple no-makeup-selfies to test him and he still says I'm gorgeous. We agreed not to have high hopes for each other until we meet irl, but I'm afraid even if we were to date afterwards I'd still have these thoughts. It's hell.
No. 2347574
File: 1736953828093.jpg (149.93 KB, 900x900, tumblr_671168e41152ea31b285d92…)
im so fucking agoraphobic i keep skipping classes so i just changed my classes so theyre both on 2 days a week together and the others are online. because going out more than 2 days a week is genuinely so difficult for me at this point. a lot of people on my moms side have agoraphobia so i guess i have a predisposition to this kind of thing.
…also mini vent but i ordered a putty from a brand i like and it has little glitters in it and i dislike it compared to the normal kind with no glitters and i feel like i wasted my money now
No. 2347628
>>2347573break up with him,
nonnie. don't waste any more of your time. if he wanted to change he would have by now
No. 2347645
File: 1736957187656.jpeg (788.71 KB, 1125x1578, 7053485F-ABD3-4C17-9070-2648DE…)
>>2347624I never used Reddit much outside of very specific hobby groups. But recently I’ve become increasingly intolerant of the culture and average user on there. They haven’t done anything wrong but just the typing style or jokes are grating for me. I hope it’s just temporary because while I love LC I don’t want this to be my only point of contact with the outside world.
No. 2347647
>>2347645Reddit is a shithole, everyone there thinks they’re hotshit and hold the right opinion, when in reality it’s full of misogyny , if you’re a woman you shouldn’t use it more than lurking to read silly stories. All they talk about is sex too.
Oh and JKR is somehow Hitler 2.0.
No. 2347732
File: 1736963785889.png (159.3 KB, 680x646, 1676070989157490.png)
i sent someone fanart and they havent replied to it… its been 5 days. i worked hard on it. im a little sad honestly. its not like theyre a famous person who constantly gets bombarded by messages. idk. im gonna assume theyre just too busy to respond, but theyve been active on their account …??? i am definitely overthinking this
i havent been on here in forever, i only come back to this site to vent about trivial stuff lol
No. 2347761
I don't know if this counts as a vent, but it's something that's been bothering me for a few weeks now. Things changed at home a while ago and it stresses me out, but I've never been this severely stressed out in my life before, so I'm struggling to adjust with it all. My health is in the gutter. I get so tired and sleepy so often, then sleep for like 12-14 hours and can't wake up or feel energized at all, even after having breakfast and caffeine which used to work, but not anymore. And I have this constant pain in my stomach, I'm guessing my colon, that gets worse whenever something "triggers" me. I feel upset and tired most of the time. I'm so dizzy and my eyelids are heavy all the time. I can barely stand up or walk properly without getting headaches and dizziness. I barely can eat and end up throwing up sometimes, which is unusual and never happened to me before under stress. It all started after a specific event that triggered all of this, and it feels like it will be my usual from now on. It doesn't help that I graduated from university and I'm stressed out about the prospect of finding a job, holding one, going to one to begin with. I still can't drive and don't have a car. I can't afford to go with a taxi or private driver every day, I don't have any money on me without my university allowance now that it's been cut off. Everything feels like it's going downhill for me and I'm so scared. I need help but I can't even tell which kind of help to begin with. I can't go to a hospital on my own and need someone to drive me there, but can't afford an Uber, and my family is too busy to help me out. I feel all alone in my struggles. I just want some magical pill or injection that will fix everything that's wrong with me. Or to be hospitalized for a while until my shit gets fixed on its own or something. I don't know what to do. I just want my life to go back to normal, but that's impossible. I want to get enough sleep and feel energetic after, I want to eat properly and cook for myself, I want to go back to walking, I want to go back to working on my little arts and crafts projects, but I'm too braindead and there's this brain fog that's stopping me from doing anything at all every day, and it's just so frustrating. I legitimately can barely see either and everything is so shaky it's impossible to focus on anything.
No. 2347770
>>2347756i sent it through a tumblr ask. ive heard of tumblr not sending asks
because its a broken platform but i have no way of knowing if this is what happened
>>2347741thanks, i was worried i sounded entitled. i know no one is required to respond to online messages on time since real life is more important
>>2347762i still think they arent doing it out of malice and theyre just busy
because the alternative would make me really fucking sad lmao im sensitive No. 2347831
>>2347825tbh I wish I could look after someone elses kids. I know I don't have the discipline to keep a human child alive full time and I admire mothers who are able to do so. Not only would I not mind being able to help a mom out, letting her get some much needed rest/time alone a few times a month but I think I'd really enjoy it. I like little kids, especially girls. They tend to be a lot of fun and I'm really sad that my nieces are all grown up. But I can see how caring for children as a mother where you don't get any time off could be incredibly taxing.
Idk if you are American but I feel like in American/western culture the lack of village set up this way by design in order to make people into weak, tired slaves to the cooperate elite.
No. 2347835
File: 1736970114007.jpg (55.47 KB, 686x514, 7078447860205.jpg)
I tell my best friend the truth and the only thing going through her mind is that I'm persecuting her and how mean I sound, bitch I've been trying to tell you about this for months gently and making jokes but your ass still didn't pick up the signal
Don't come crawling to me that your heart gets broken AGAIN
No. 2347856
>>2347850Me too. today I saw a post about two faggot troons who purchased babies, and the little babies in their video looked so disconnected and unreactive to the men who were holding them. Usually when you see a baby being held by their mother and the mom is making faces at them or talking to them, the baby is responsive in some way but these kids were like catatonic basically. Thinking about how
abusive it is to put a child through that and how significantly it stunts that poor little infants development and ability to express themselves
seriously upsets me.
No. 2347858
>>2347850Nonna are you me kek? I unfortunately think that it became one of my interest somehow . I just think that it’s really unfair how women are getting treated that’s all, from sexual orientation, to safety , to our terminology. It’s so deeply unfair!!
I also became radfem adjacent too fortunately, so I don’t focus on just trannies. I would suggest you do the same.
I would even advocate for them if they didn’t try to destroy our rights in the first place (and if they weren’t fetishizers in the first place). I do believe in dysphoria, I just don’t believe that most of these TIMs we are seeing have it (TIFs are different, at least for me, but I don’t want to rant about them now).
Being a TRA and peaking after really made me open my eyes all together and I’m just fed up with all of it.
No. 2347884
File: 1736973075017.jpg (29.92 KB, 735x1008, 1000000927.jpg)
Learning how to eat to live and not love to ear is hard. Regardless of if I'm dieting or not restricting and sucking everything into my mouth like a vacuum, all I can think about is food.
No. 2347890
File: 1736973400214.jpg (109.02 KB, 519x640, e430bd1bc822cc83e00ccfadcf8f98…)
>>2347881the only furry thread i know of is the wholesome furry art thread which is about as innocuous as artworks of mice in dresses.
yeah the incest thread is sketch, but the current furry thread isnt as horrific as nona seems to put it
No. 2347906
>>2347858> I just think that it’s really unfair how women are getting treated that’s all, from sexual orientation, to safety , to our terminology. It’s so deeply unfair!!This is what upsets me the most. We're the slaves of the world and have always been. We work so hard to keep society as a whole alive and thriving, and our work is considered lesser or even ignored and we're told we don't do anything useful. And then these nasty fetishist males, the same ones who hated us, suddenly want to
be us? After telling us we weren't worth anything? How am I supposed to swallow that pill???
>I do believe in dysphoriaDysphoria is a thing, I've felt it.
Gender dysphoria though? Nah, not real imo. The problem is somewhere else but instead of searching and trying to better understand it, the health system (medical and therapy) just takes it at face value. The solution is helping the person accept themselves and their body, NOT cut it up and poison it!
>Being a TRA and peaking after really made me open my eyes all together and I’m just fed up with all of it.I hope more TRAs wake up soon. The ones who still fight for trannies imo don't have enough first hand experience with them and haven't seen the more egregious side of troonism and child grooming.
No. 2347913
>>2347884I feel you nona. I love food and because I can't connect with others without becoming spiritually damaged I will seek solace and fulfillment in food.
I've been able to manage by binges by finding other solitary activities that can surrogate the feeling of warmth and acceptance like tasty food can, and while I'm not overweight, I would be in much better shape if I just had one good reliable friend who would happily go on long walks with me when I'm feeling sad.
No. 2347944
>>2347937It's a really intense feeling of
bad. Before meds and therapy I used to feel something I'd just call the worst feeling ever. It was like a pit opened up inside me and ate every single good thing. Nothing was good and had never been good, it was like I forgot what happiness was. It was hard to even smile. It was like someone pressed the sadness button in my brain. It would just come up randomly and I would feel it coming and be like nononononononono please nooooo. It went away usually after an hour or two but it was excruciating.
No. 2347967
>>2347949nta that's what makes those threads so gross to me, it feels like when i was subjected to troon indoctrination all over again. "It's totally innocent, it's not a fetish at all" but of course it always was related to a deranged fetish and when people finally realized it it was too late and had already infiltrated every corner. There's a reason anons refuse to call it "cute twins thread" or "cute anthro animal thread" they're there because they accept the porn aspects of it and they don't want images like
>>2347890 to not be considered furry art, because they are furries and like the furry aspect of it. They want people to go "oh I guess furries aren't so bad after all".
No. 2348054
File: 1736981435146.jpg (338.27 KB, 800x1181, f0c.jpg)
I've been craving sugar all day (I successfully avoided stopping to buy dessert when I was out earlier kek) but now an anon in a different thread got me thinking about cookies and now I want them but I don't even have milk so I wouldn't want them anyway without it but I want something sweeeeeeet.
No. 2348064
File: 1736981739868.jpeg (198.02 KB, 504x590, IMG_3450.jpeg)
I’m very close to sociopath-maxxing. I’m tired of playing nice girl, I don’t really brag about being nice and I have my vices but I’m just so fucking tired of being kind, understanding, nice, trying to strike conversation with others but nobody ever does it back with me. I’m done playing a fucking lie and a script, I could give less of a shit what you want or your life, I hate every single person here. Die please
No. 2348075
>>2348047Why did god curse us with being the physically weaker sex? We need the ability to cull them routinely, sniff out any depravity and strangle it out. But no, the only people that can successfully mobilize to commit such mass violence would be other men, and if they did do violent things on behalf of women, it would come with its own set of rapey conditions.
Plus men who are regularly subjected to real war, horror, and gore turn into schizophrenic, rapist, pedophiles themselves anyway. Because of their mental fragility they break like porcelain. We're so fucked. Genuinely.
No. 2348082
File: 1736982422101.jpg (49.72 KB, 736x733, 04477c5f09f8e1cf8260b4a8a2ddef…)
When you're at work and you're helping a random person but the PTSD decides to flare up for no reason, so now you have contain your baser instincts and refrain from fighting the air or clutching yourself in a protective stance from a threat that isn't there.
No. 2348220
File: 1736988817294.png (245.25 KB, 1280x800, 1684354165557.png)
This tranny keeps sending messages in a group chat I'm in, ugh. I know it's a tranny bc their (idk if ftm or mtf) name has the troon flag in it and the name itself is retarded.
No. 2348293
>>2348287Society makes all women feel ugly, specifically so you can be caught off guard when a socially retarded ancient moid comes up to you and wont fuck off.
I look like an unwashed goblin and I've had to lie and say I was married with kids just to like spell out that I was off the market.
Having a boyfriend won't stop perverts, but having kids makes them a bit more hesitant.
I don't blame you for being unnerved. It really is horrifying because those moids are so socially retarded it makes you worry where else they will stalk you. Don't worry nona, he will probably move on to someone else. That's just what they do.
No. 2348329
File: 1736994629602.jpg (20.2 KB, 236x313, Get_hammered.jpg)
i am so done with academia, i have been depressed since i dropped out and tried again and again but it was never the same. those years were traumatizing, nobody was looking out for me, i almost died at least twice, got raped multiple times and had embarrassing photos taken of me. the people there think it's a flex and i didn't even study smth wild, i studied the spergiest subject. i don't trust anybody anymore and i am constantly thinking about annoying things people have done, why, and what could i do for revenge and to prevent it.
>i don't accept shared food or drinks, i check ready made foods for powders, weird textures, and unnatural smells
>i take photos of anything creepy around where i live and frequent
>if i go to a party it's only out of politeness and i don't drink
>when i see someone i know outside of arranged meetups, they must stalk me
>i constantly think about locking my belongings and preventing theft and break-ins
>i must conceal myself if i frequently go to the same place otherwise someone could start recognizing and stalking me
>everything that is not the bare necessities is a ripoff meant to humiliate me, they're trying to force findom
>there are people who are programmed and employed to embarrass, frame and torture me
i did not join a sorority or anything there, did not willingly piss anyone off, did not share extreme political memes, did not talk about politics, or religion. academic sabotage of women must be a new type of incel terrorism.
No. 2348356
>>2346686your mom knows she can control you, and she is. and you know you need to go no contact again and leave for your sake. i hope you can.
reread your post and look at the monotony of your interactions. pull back and don't react as much, grey rock if you can. she wants you to be pissed to enable this
victim complex she has and you're giving her what she wants.
No. 2348360
>>2348356samefag, ava's demon creator has an
abusive mom and this list of books might help
https://www.avasdemon.com/2719.html i read mothers who can't love and found it helpful.
No. 2348394
>>2348356>>2348360Thank you anon, the link what helpful and the literature list has a few titles I have seen before but also some new ones.
As a sidenote on the screening situation, the good news is that my insurance didn't auto-deny. But the total I will owe before I can have the procedure done is $1300. Not impossible and not small potatoes, but far less worse than I thought it was gonna be. I should be able to save up and have it done in a month or two. Pray for me nonnas.
No. 2348627
>>2348622hugs
nonny, my heart breaks for you, I've been there, hugs so much
No. 2348636
>>2348505You need to sit her down and have a real tinfoil hat conversation with her.
Tell her that her feelings are shared by many by design. Tell her that the global elites want her weak and self loathing so that she spends money on stuff she doesn't need. Tell her the most dangerous combination she can be as a person is self aware and and not worried about her appearance outside of her health. Tell her to focus on her athletics and studies and always remind her that she's the superior sex.
No. 2348655
File: 1737023155434.png (6.36 KB, 534x534, image0-8.png)
I seethe over feminine women like a femcel
No. 2348656
>>2348516This inspired me
nonnie, I’m hanging out with my bf after all. I’ve had a stressful week and been indoors. But internet all day and just my thoughts is not good for me. I have to go out. Since I don’t have money for snacks I don’t go out for any groceries and wait till my mom gets them. That used to be my only reason to go out. Now I’m home and working on my final assignment. So I don’t have a reason to go out unless it’s with mom or bf. I want to keep the people that I have strong bond and boundaries with close. I only have them so I will do what it takes to spend time with them. I wish I had at least 5 people that I was so close to but I’m still grateful.
No. 2348810
File: 1737040611211.jpg (28.01 KB, 500x564, 92801068-d23d-4029-9881-79952b…)
this little light of mine… I'm gonna let it shine… this little light of mine… I'm gonna let it shine… simultaneously excited and disturbed that I may be experiencing facial wasting for abusing adderall as an adult. getting my vyvanse refilled next week and wondering if this is essentially a substitute for buccal fat removal and cheek sucking in photos. I don't want to look like a ghoul, but I have a very round face and high cheek bones so I'm hoping the facial wasting just targets my lower face. Also what the fuck vagus nerve stop making me sneeze when I'm nauseous
No. 2348824
File: 1737041433036.gif (20.39 KB, 57x64, 95579-1229860316.gif)
>>2348584we have opposite problems
nonnie… the hot weather isn't letting me sleep or be in peace and i want winter already
No. 2348833
>>2348800just cancel the credit card that is being charged for the data plan, or take the matter up to small claims or whatever it's called. This has been an issue with all sorts of companies for a long time, an example off the top of my head would be gym memberships, where they would make cancelling process as cancerous as possible so that most people would just suck it up and keep getting charged.
Next time you sign up to any service do it with a virtual/digital credit card specifically created for that service, those are very easy to cancel (at least with the couple of banks that I know of) and I'm pretty sure every bank has a service like that. My bank let's me create one in around 15 minutes and I always set the monthly spending of the card to exactly how much I'm paying for whatever subscription service I signed up for, that way I don't get any sneaky extra charges made to the card.
No. 2348996
File: 1737048831355.jpeg (225.76 KB, 1179x1482, IMG_0329.jpeg)
My BMI is 19.8 so I am not fat, yet I still look like the ugliest frumpiest mom from behind. I’ve always looked horrendous from behind whenever i saw myself on video. I thought losing weight and dressing better would “fix” it but I did those things and I still look fucking special needs. I thought my problem was “saddle bags” but now at my low weight I can tell the shape that looks like saddle bags is in reality the angle of my actual bone, like there’s no fat in that area. I have the stumpiest fucking legs too, I’m wearing heels in picrel and even that doesn’t fucking help. Nothing helps at all.
It’s humiliating to look like this especially at my young age. I’m just so angry. Nothing I do matters because no matter what I always look like a 48 year old mother of 6 from behind. I’m this upset right now because I only just realized that the issue wasn’t fixed, I hadn’t looked for like 2 years and just assumed I must look better from behind now due to everything I’ve changed, fucking nope. I’m so angry. My face is extremely ugly so the least the universe could have given me was a normal looking body, but I don’t even get that
No. 2348998
>>2348996Your body literally looks fine,
cute even.
No. 2349014
>>2348996There's nothing wrong with being older, nonna. I've seen mom bodies dress flatteringly and they manage to look cute. Stop having so much self-loathing and treat yourself with some respect that you deserve. You lost weight and put in the effort for what? To be
abusive towards yourself more? Stop it.
No. 2349040
>>2348996you literally look completely normal… you might need therapy for body dysmorphia, genuinely
>>2349036what games do you like
No. 2349053
>>2349040DTI, eviction notice, outlaster, create words or die, be an NPC or die, death penalty, copyrighted artist, all of those generic horror games, word bomb, flee the facility, zombie shooter games, epic mini games, LOCOoffical, the trials, and two player obbies/tycoons
No. 2349071
File: 1737052237628.jpg (50.79 KB, 894x894, 515fLgfRNnL._AC_UF894,1000_QL8…)
I'm about to having a fucking mental breakdown. I'm currently halfway through my internship for my web development program and I'm fucking STRUGGLING, I wish I had aimed for only doing front end instead of getting cocky, because I was quick at picking up on doing oop with python, and go for the fullstack program. I'm such a fucking retard and I HATE MYSELF for this, and I've invested too much time and money to be allowed to be allowed to fail.
I think it's fun, but I really don't have the brains for problem solving with javascript or typescript, my mind goes completely blank so I feel like an idiot that can't understand shit. And I don't have anyone to turn to in this.
No. 2349097
>>2349084I'm sorry nonna, that response is
crazy. I wish it was legal for women to kneecap scrotes whenever we felt like it.
No. 2349144
I am so stressed I want to fucking die. Everything was going ok, just an ordinary day and then within a few hours it went to hell.
>>2349143Wouldn't it be cheaper to just use an overdraft on a current account?
No. 2349150
>>2348683Yes. Mostly for emotional labor and attention. I would have people venting to me but if I said anything about myself they didn't care whatsoever for example. I've gotten better about boundaries and limiting my interactions with people like this and even cutting them off, but then I also end up alone like
>>2348693 said. Feels like I just keep repeating this pattern where I try to be open to meeting new people, hope we'll have a mutually beneficial and supportive friendship where both sides care about each other and put in the effort, only for them to fall short of my imo bare minimum expectations and start acting shitty and selfish waaaay too many times and being unrelieable, all while still expecting and demanding things from me that they don't do themselves, so I just distance myself or cut them off. Rinse and repeat. I just grow to dislike almost every single one of them for being honestly worse people than I am and shitty friends. It's to the point where I don't even really want to invest time in meeting and talking to new people anymore because it all just feels like a gigantic waste of my time. I was actually thinking about this very same thing earlier today because I was considerate to someone I met recently, but when it came to me they didn't give a single fuck kek. I'd love to meet people where I actually am pleasantly surprised by them for once and consider them my equals or even better as a person. Which shouldn't even be that hard, yet here we are.
No. 2349153
File: 1737055932071.jpg (26.66 KB, 640x480, images.jpg)
Rest in Peace to the GOAT David Lynch! Fuck, I'm feeling a bit hollow.
No. 2349217
File: 1737059160523.jpg (9.26 KB, 210x210, 1000000945.jpg)
I have 375 calories left for today and I only had one meal
No. 2349286
File: 1737061224745.png (316.8 KB, 582x328, perturbed_cat.png)
My best friend went away for the month of December. During that time, I guess she got into watching drag.
She puts dumb meme edit compilations on the TV when we're at her apartment, but that's whatever. One night, we both wore eyeliner, and she said we were "baby queens". I wore a new dress and she called it "fishy". I told her I didn't have a preference between noodle options and she said I was a "bottom".
I know the comments aren't personal, and I wouldn't even connect them if I didn't screw around on places like lolcow. I try to remember it's just a fun libfem hobby for her. But I hope she gets over it soon.
No. 2349333
>>2349325>buys ps5anon wyd??? kekkk
>gives money to motherif you know your mother is a taker and not a giver don’t give her any money please
No. 2349347
File: 1737063435610.jpg (45.64 KB, 708x404, 1000071764.jpg)
>>2349286>fishyBegging all of you to stop being so passive and tolerating this. Thankfully I don't encounter it irl but I'm so fucking sick of seeing "cunt, cunt, serving cunt cunty!" that I started commenting
>serving faggot!!whenever I see it now.
No. 2349349
>>2349333I SAVED up I swear nonna kek. I just wanted to play videogames after my 10 year old pc died on me 6 months ago. I didn't just buy the console on a whim I pwomise.
Also I didn't expect her to take it from me because she's usually reliable and has returned a different 1k I lent her in the past. She first said she wanted to keep it for emergencies so I was like "aww okay that makes sense" but now she's saying I owe it to her anyway so I'm gonna have to talk to her about that but I CBA right now. She said she'd pay half for a new washing machine but it's my money she's paying with anyway FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
No. 2349353
Why do I attract batshit insane, obsessive, almost controlling men? Every guy I dated wanted me only for himself, was possessive, jealous when I talked to someone else but him, even to other women, jealous when I did something and didn't include him etc. I have like a cat energy, I'm indifferent and go my own ways, I'm like 'if you want to stay, stay, if you want to leave, leave'. I don't do it on purpose, it's just what I am. Does this attitude attract men like this or what? If I start showing men I need them, will they get bored of me? I would actually have to force myself to do it kek. But is this how male psyche works?
No. 2349385
I've been slowly ruining my life for the past several months by neglecting studies, and it is now a real possibility that I will fail and lose my job as a result.
Objectively it's not a catastrophe, plenty of people have it so much worse, but I have stupidly fragile self-esteem and don't want it known that I have failed uni, and I don't think I'll ever be able to get a decent job again (the current one was a fluke), so if I do fail I will have to kill myself from shame and so that I don't have to deal with everyone acknowledging the fact that I got fired and kicked out of uni. I don't want to kill myself, there are many things in life that I want to do, I have dreams and hopes for the future, but it's all far away and right now I'm legitimately considering suicide just so that I don't have to deal with the humiliation and it's scaring me that I got to that point. I tried to tell myself that it'll hurt people, but frankly I don't care about that. Main drawbacks are that suicide is a sign of psychological weakness, and the aftermath is very undignified, and I'd never get to do the things I want to do in the future; these three things in the past were enough to neuter the suicidal ideation and banish it firmly into the realm of escapist fantasy, but right now it just doesn't seem worth it, and I'll be humiliated either way. The prospect of living life with everyone around me constantly reminding me what a worthless fuck-up I am (not outright, of course, but they'll be thinking it; and even if they won't, I'll be paranoid about it anyway) seems unbearable.
On the other hand, it's disgusting to be so bothered by something so petty. I don't want to care about opinions of people I dislike. But I want to be better than them, I want them to think I'm successful, even though realistically they probably think I'm a retard.
I need to get my act together and actually do the work required of me but I feel paralyzed.
No. 2349418
File: 1737065747788.jpg (82.58 KB, 1000x1244, 130W8AwGXE.jpg)
>share one of my favorite songs that means a lot to me with someone
>they make the song THEIR thing and listen and sing along to it with people that aren't me
Genuinely just flew into an autistic rage about this kek. I will never share any of my dearly beloved songs with anyone ever again. Nobody could ever love the songs I love like I love them
No. 2349448
File: 1737066825192.jpg (447.28 KB, 1352x1080, 1730146216064.jpg)
My sleep schedule is fucked beyond recognition. I had to get up early for an appointment, the person never came, i drank a redbull and passed out ten minutes later, only to wake up in the afternoon. I feel awful. Time is abstract, everything is turning into a grew muddy mass, i haven't seen the sun in what feels like days even though i saw it yesterday (for like 10 minutes, yay winter). It's messing with my ability to WFH, i'm behind several deadlines. Walking for an hour with music in my ears would help, i haven't done that in about a month because it's fucking freezing and everything is covered in black ice. God i miss walking so much, even if my town is ugly and depressing. I feel like absolute shit and to top it off i can't easily vent to my best friend because homoerotic stuff happened and long story short, things are very very awkward now. I just want to be back at her place and rot in bed with her, talk to her, hold her.
No. 2349563
i'm one of the americans that tried out xiaohongshu and ended up loving it, now i'm trying to learn mandarin in my free time while talking to chinese netizens via translator apps.
for nonnies that don't keep up with social media nonsense
>tldr people think tiktok is really getting banned so they went on chinese app littleredbook/rednote/xiaohongshu in protest/desperation to keep something similar to tiktok
>app explodes overnight with americans and chinese asking eachother questions and sharing interests
>seeing literal 70+ year olds making videos, practicing their mandarin. some grandma learning how to say different fruit in mandarin while chinese netizens cheer her on and say they're going to tell their grandparents even old foreigners are trying to learn their language
>chinese cowboys excited because texans/other farmers found their page and are posting pics in the comments of their cattle/ranches and vice versa
>americans making recipe videos showing china how we make common foods, southern women showing them how to make southern sweet tea
>a shit ton of americans/others making an effort to learn mandarin
>both parties helping eachother with their math or english homework kek
>americans posting about the bad sides, posting their med bills, asking china how their medical system is
>chinese shocked and sharing how systems work for them, some admit they thought all americans were rich farmers
legitimately the most fun i've had in ages and after years of insane hatred and shit it's so moving to see 2 groups come together like this. it's so heartwarming and healing to my soul. the ONLY 2 groups i've seen act totally retarded though
>trannies constantly asking what china thinks of them, china responds that they don't care/it is mental illness/you have one body in this life try again in the next life, live healthy in the current one
>trannies triggered and making snide comments (i think they get banned pretty fast tho haven't seen any lately)
>chinese american women absolutely fucking SEETHING at all of this
>one lady admits she's bitter at americans getting a warm welcome and kindness when she was bullied in america and keeps making 10000 videos telling americans/TT 'refugees' to get off and that they're colonizers
>"THIS IS A WAY TO CONNECT TO MY ROOTS XIAOHONGSHU IS MY MOTHER AND YOU'RE RUINING IT"
>native chinese sympathize but also tell her to chill the fuck out it's not that deep
literally never met a more bitter group of individuals holy fuck. i keep seeing one specific woman repeatedly, i wonder how many videos she's made so far throwing a total fit. like i get it, but what that got to do with me? girl i wasn't at your college.
No. 2349580
File: 1737073289127.gif (183.49 KB, 220x165, 1000022341.gif)
I think I just inadvertently shortchanged a nonna working at a Sally Beauty I am so sorry!
>walk in with ~$40 and some change
>buying a semi permanent dye for $9 ish bucks after tax
>make friendly small talk to cute girl cashier about her hair and tell her my plans for mine we are almost flirting tf
>give her my fake discount number
>have the $20 bill in my hand to give to her
>we make more small talk while she counts out change
>bill is still in my hand
>she hands me the change
>"Did I pay you?"
>Yeah you handed me a $20!
>feel gaslit
>o-ok I put the $20 back in my hand
>feel bad because I think she's wrong but imma not argue nor make her count out her drawer for $10 in case I am wrong
>get home and count my money
>yep I definitely have more than $50
No. 2349593
File: 1737074325499.jpg (69.32 KB, 792x538, GVPmF4kXMAA56M1.jpg)
I NEED A JOOOOOOOOOOOB
I've shit out of luck for 4 YEARS straight now
I HATE applying and not getting any responses….I swear if I don't land something in a month I WILL RAGE
No. 2349605
File: 1737074821806.jpg (21.32 KB, 680x680, 1727217189812307.jpg)
>>2349596California.
Thank you for the kinda words, I'll try my best.
No. 2349611
File: 1737075169452.jpg (1.65 MB, 3769x2516, worst chore.jpg)
i finished washing a lunch and dinner's worth of dishes, and noted the time it took, without drying. for only me and my partner's dishes, it took 1 hour and 15 minutes of scrubbing and rinsing. i hate doing this. if i use gloves, those things make my hands stink like rubber. they also rip very easily and are not cheap. if i don't use them, i get cuts, raisin fingers and hangnails. the whole time i'm bending over and it's fucking up my back and causing neck strain.
No. 2349696
>>2349665If you want that you’re retarded, get your lazy butt up and provide for yourself, love yourself enough to do this and earn enough to do this for yourself, nourish yourself. Before you say “omgggg hahahaha tehehehehhee~~< gais ur just mateguarding and want everyone to be lonely ugly dykes just like you omg is sooo natural to be a man~~~~ nobody is mateguarding these ugly fucks if they can get any woman and then some just by hiding behind her back and hooking up with some dude on Grindr or some woman at his job. I honestly think being a housewife is a fetish or cuckquean behavior for very insecure women who don’t know how to really attack the real root of their deep-seated needs, please stand up. If you want a husband in this day and age that has money to blow off you either have to be in the same tax bracket as him or get with an older scrote, regardless men with actually money to blow off and benefits like insurance are all balding, aging, ugly, all inbetween and the younger ones you can score who actually make money and are somewhat decent looking if you can even call it that are always taken. Your need for a man to provide for you is not natural, you’re addressing a decades long issue of a lack o social welfare and fair and equal pay for their labor, worthwhile benefits, bonuses, recognition, ownership and work-life balance,etc. that has always been affecting women since the dawn of time. Forfeiting your freedom and your personality to appease a moid all because you think you can never live the way you truly want is very sad and not really worth it. You really don’t want to be a housewife, you just want to be able to live your life without having to run in the wagie rat race of life just like so many women who are afraid to admit this. That’s all I gotta say
No. 2349716
File: 1737080466841.jpeg (344.71 KB, 750x530, IMG_3461.jpeg)
>mom gives me some of her pasta
>heats it up like 10-15 mins ago
>wants to eat it
>takes a few bites
>it’s really good but too depressed/angry/anxious to eat even though i’m starving
>feels super bad knowing i’m going to let it go cold and throw out the rest
>sigh
I hate myself
No. 2349851
>>2349615Hell yeah,
nonnie.
No. 2349934
Somewhat meta but the way my close friend reacts to my venting makes me not want to do it anymore. I already rarely share personal stuff with her and when i do she always jumps to the worst possible interpretation. Like, if i have trouble finding a job? "You won't find anything nice after [my age]". If i have a thorny conversation with a friend and mention it? "So she screamed at you?!". I genuinely think she doesn't do it on purpose because she's very depressed from a terrible childhood, but it sure makes me want to never open up when i'm already shy. I'd rather listen to her, but sometimes she tries to glean details from my life. I told her about my plans to break off a relationship and she spent an hour listening (i'd never confided in my troubles) and trying to convince me it's nothing and i need to stay because security, plus she's afraid it'll impact me negatively. She also told me honesty isn't always a good thing and i could hurt my bf's feelings. Ffs, i was trying to tell her my cowardice and dishonesty were a problem and i should've ended things earlier, i didn't want a "awww girlie that sucks" kind of talk to then go back to an unhappy situation. I discussed this with anther friend and she went "go for it, be happy" gave me practical advice, which is what i'd do for my depressed friend. I don't know yet how to communicate the issue without offending her. Her advice always skews towards extreme cautiousness to the point of paranoia and i'm just not interested in this. I wish i could help her (she's an anachan shut-in with some kind of illness) but her physical condition keeps her inside, in this state. Feels bad because she's otherwise an amazing friend and very dear to me, but it's frustrating. She's not always like this but it seems to be getting worse
No. 2350060
File: 1737099629695.jpeg (66.54 KB, 735x775, IMG_9079.jpeg)
My hot friend is taking a class I took last semester. It’s a hard class and I had to muscle through it to pass with a mediocre grade. When I talked to upperclassmen or friends who had taken it, I’d get a bit of sympathy and hollow advice, which I don’t think much of, since it’s vital for our niche major. Now that she’s taking it, she tells me all those same people are falling over themselves trying to give her their notes and past exams and assignments and even just doing the work for her. Tonight when we were trying to study for another class, I saw them spring into action with my own eyes and I haven’t been able to get over it. I know I shouldn’t be upset at her and I’m not but it’s just hard because I busted my ass for every point in the class and she has to fight off people trying to hand her the answers because she’s beautiful and charismatic.
No. 2350109
File: 1737104486696.jpeg (135 KB, 835x851, IMG_3876.jpeg)
I’m dividing with myself whether I should stay clean a little longer or go for styro this time.
No. 2350151
File: 1737111426456.webp (54.83 KB, 379x753, IMG_2829.webp)
A co-worker that fucked several males in higher positions at our company had the audacity to ask me “don’t you think your outfit is a little inappropriate?” (it absolutely was not). I replied “you would know about inappropriateness in the workplace, wouldn’t you?” and now I’m the bad guy. I hope they fire me; I can’t stand looking at that charlotte pickles bitch any longer.
No. 2350168
File: 1737113668472.jpg (38.28 KB, 739x415, telepaffy.JPG)
I wish all the real women here had a secret safe word or phrase we could implement in posts to prove we’re women to eachother to catch stray scrotes. We’d share it telepathically of course in some kind of astral realm only for women similar to picrel, so that only women will ever know it and there is no record anywhere and any crypto male posters would be immediately sniffed out and annihilated by the farmhands
No. 2350172
File: 1737114161680.jpg (103.33 KB, 736x981, Spunki.jpg)
i dont know anything about these characters other than that my little sisters like it and i had to convince them to watch something else because of the content showing up, why is there so much porny shit of it on youtube?
No. 2350186
File: 1737116460325.jpg (8.78 KB, 194x259, 1000004093.jpg)
I love my mom but I fucking hate visiting her place, it is so unhygenic it's crazy. It's probably her worst trait and being very messy is better than being a lot of things, but her house looks like it got fucking searched by a swat team, plus she lives in the countryside so there's very very limited running water. I feel like I'm navigating the house like I'm walking through lasers made out of stink lines and various molds/bacteria on all of the surfaces. The house smells awful, too, since she processes milk products from her cows. I gag every day as I discover new sights and sounds in her place. Again, love my mom, but she is mind-blowingly nasty oh my god.
No. 2350219
>>2350217because you are giving money to an industry that preys on women with insecurities like yours. you'll still be you inside, follow any plastic surgery cow to see that it never makes them happy.
that said, go for it.
No. 2350228
>>2350213Queers are just the retarded straights who want to have
victim points , polyamorous retards who think they are oppressed, retards who are into kinks such as BDSM, piss , furry, and also the trannies couples where they are straight but both trooned out.
No. 2350294
>>2350258I attracted people like that for a large portion of my adolescence. If you want things to change, you
have to cut all of these people off completely and establish boundaries for yourself. Someone being nice to you doesn’t cancel out anything weird or creepy they’ve done to you. You’re not rude for following your own boundaries. It’s hard in the beginning to feel like you don’t have any friendships but you get over it real quick; you see how awful letting people like that in your life truly is.
No. 2350564
>>2350469i appreciate you replying… uhm, well basically im very lonely, dont have anything to look forward to… i like in a pretty isolated small town in a conservative part of the country, i have one irl friend, but we havent been as close since she got a boyfriend, and we go out sometimes but being third wheel with them is a bit depressing. my family isnt poor or anything, they go on vacations often, but they dont invite me, i get it, im an adult now and they wanna enjoy their alone time… but i havent left the state, even this area i live in, for years. i dont have a mom in my life, ive never had a boyfriend, i have a few online friends but i dont feel like they really understand me. im scared of the future because my autism and isolation has made working really difficult for me (i can do the job, but being around people is difficult) so…yeah…thats whats wrong
No. 2350578
>>2350564I'm sorry to hear that nona! I also live isolated in a (relatively) conservative part of the country so I know how that can be (though even when I lived in liberal parts of the country I struggled to make friends because the only other autist nerds were easily offended gendies)
I mostly have online friends, but one thing that helped me a lot was just going out in nature. A lot of conservative places have tons of wilderness (idk if that's true for you though since shitholes like Texas exist) but a long bike ride through the woods can be just as fulfilling as a day out with friends.
I hope you feel better nona!
No. 2350655
File: 1737135385486.jpg (58.77 KB, 700x483, asuka-pathetic-face.jpg)
I want to root for my little sister, who is only 4 years younger than me, but she makes it hard. She has always been a pick me and now she is posting on her public social media how she finds muslim men so hot and would consider converting for them. I just want to scream into the void. Like wtf is wrong with you?!
No. 2350742
>>2349336Yeah, we were both diagnosed with autism in the past couple of years. She has expressed feeling a lack of community since her breakup (first boyfriend) and job change (first job) over a year ago, and I think she's using the internet to fill it.
>>2349347Meh, it's a minor annoyance to me because I know she is pro-sassy-man-in-dress, not pro-womanface. I don't want to nuke my friendship by taking this passing fad literally.
If I hear something like "fishy" or "cunt" again, I'll ask her what it means, because I think the explanation will be awkward enough that she won't do it again.
No. 2350791
File: 1737139315345.jpeg (44.27 KB, 564x564, 5F4A1A8F-9CE5-43EC-8218-F65CD0…)
>Scanlation group gets all accounts suspended due to copyright, probably because the series’ anime is airing right now
>Announced that they will cease scanlating for the foreseeable future as a result
>Have to download the publisher’s official app and pay to read new chapters now
>Each chapter is broken into 2+ parts so you have to pay multiple times for one chapter
I fucking hate this. Anime and manga going mainstream was a mistake.
No. 2350803
File: 1737139794799.jpg (141.84 KB, 529x480, 1522947010742.jpg)
>>2350168Because of your picrel I was reminded that I wish I knew more women into moeshit who aren't handmaidens. I know a couple online and one irl but this one is literally married to an autistic (legit disabled) scrote so it just makes me sick thinking about it when I interact with her. It's kinda based she doesn't believe in troonshit but she's kinda handmaideny in other ways… ugh. I guess I will just force my gf to watch retarded moecrap with me in the weekend.
No. 2350829
File: 1737141006658.jpg (24.42 KB, 736x764, 1000018131.jpg)
I want friends. I need friends. Both IRL and online. I've had Discord twice now, and both times I ended up closing my account after falling out with people. I know this makes me seem like a terrible person or friend, but I swear that app feels cursed. Conversations and relationships always end up going into weird or inappropriate territory. I regret entertaining some of it, and then I'm out. Am I the problem? I swear it all starts wholesome and normal but somehow always spirals into that. I just want friends to chill with, voice chat, and game. Feeling like an inadequate, lonely nobody right now.
No. 2350835
File: 1737141453334.jpg (16.12 KB, 286x296, 1fa57dce70f734724ca4ae46330376…)
>be me
>late 2023
>phone randomly stops playing audio
>try to fix it by installing software update
>the update fully breaks my phone
>lose 5 years worth of data
>want to kill myself
>shove it in a random drawer and cry
>end up forgetting about it
>fast forward to late 2024
>remember that i still need to fix the phone
>finally find a good repair shop this week
>drop off my phone there
>get a call the day after
>it's already fixed
>hallelujah
>get home excited to finally have it back
>decide to watch some youtube
>…why is it silent
>the fucking audio is still gone
>mfw i'm going to have to go back for yet another repair
No. 2350837
>>2350829>Am I the problemDepends on what you mean by "always end up going into weird or inappropriate territory"
If someone is creeping on you or sending you gross unsolicited porn then no, the problem isn't you. People like that are awkward and uncomfortable to be around.
HOWEVER
If you freak out if someone is talking about their crush and are weirdly puritain about shit that has nothing to do with you, then maybe yeah, you are gonna struggle befriending people if all you want to do is talk about chaste stuff. Friends generally like to talk about their crushes with friends sometimes.
No. 2350852
File: 1737142066431.jpeg (178.33 KB, 1170x1147, IMG_7473.jpeg)
I have multiple severe mental illnesses (not even gonna specify what I have because everyone on here constantly talks shit about us and understandably so). I’ve always wanted to have kids but I know that I can’t and never will. I wouldn’t be able to handle it and I would never want to subject a child to my outbursts and spergouts or risk passing it on to them. My family is still convinced that some day I’ll change my mind. I don’t know how to tell them that it’s never going to happen.
No. 2350892
File: 1737144307330.jpg (56.78 KB, 736x739, fml.jpg)
hate my ugly face, body, race everything im not even smart either lmao killing myself
No. 2350894
>>2350888Nonna, maybe you're just afraid of what could happen after you finish something. I kind of felt like that after graduating from uni because I thought that everything I did was going to be shit regardless of my efforts, but after being in a shitty job and getting really lucky, I managed to find a place where I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm actually really fucking good at what I'm doing.
Maybe you just need to do that too, find a place where you have an amount of pressure that makes you have to do and finish something.
No. 2350903
File: 1737145378491.gif (5.64 MB, 197x255, avgnschizobald.gif)
sometimes i really dislike how tomboyish my personality, interests and mannerisms are. doesnt help that i have a weird little boy face too
No. 2350924
File: 1737146179523.png (1.1 MB, 862x928, FYAAAA.png)
Most of what I use in food or eat could easily be turned into a much healthier lifestyle if I changed them out for queso or greek yogurt.
But I fucking can't stand the taste or consistency, no matter how much I try to make it work. Queso makes me sick, and I can't handle the aftertaste of greek yogurt - even the flavored ones I can't handle, no matter how much I try to tell myself it tastes just as good as my favorite soygurt. It makes me feel like I'm never going to lose those nasty 10kg I want to get rid of.
No. 2350932
>>2350919You can literally learn to be feminine, though. Take some tomboyish traits you don't like and try to see what a feminine woman would do instead.
I'm only slightly feminine, and it's a conscious thing even for me.
No. 2350934
>>2349071Managed to calm down a couple of hours after this post: had a good cry, watched some reaffirming shit like vidrel, and tried to reframe my thinking.
I still feel like a failure for not grasping JS, to the point of fucking panicking and had a lot of anxiety on my way to the office today. But I had a quick talk with my supervisors that kinda just nodded and went "welcome to the rest of your career, because that feeling never went away for any of us. Instead for now, relax and keep in mind that no one expects anyone that's barely even a junior - everyone are going to expect that you know NOTHING about ANYTHING."
Idk if it was all that reassuring for me, because I still feel like an idiot because I struggle so much with writing basic js and solving problems. But I'm so happy that both my supervisors are women that are very understanding and tries to help me along, even though they have to deal with a retard like me.
No. 2351017
>>2350258I attract mostly autist men and trannies (so the same group of people basically) so I feel your pain. I aspire to be like
>>2350839 in the future, I don't think it'll get me any actually good friends but I want to be okay with being friendless instead of entertaining these retarded people who I don't even like just to say I'm not on my own.
No. 2351049
File: 1737151351612.jpeg (62.98 KB, 559x680, 8A8C1E0D-A2A9-4BBF-8F47-02F2E3…)
>>2350934Going from Python to JS is a big leap
nonny don’t feel too discouraged. It has an infamous reputation for a reason, many people struggle with it.
No. 2351070
>>2350934Fuck JS. I hate JS.
Although I’ll say having experience with Java before touching JS did make its stupid idiosyncratic bullshit easier to stomach because of it’s simularities, but if you’re never gonna use Java it might be dumb to learn that just for JS.
I hate JS so much. If JS has a million haters I'm one of them. If it has one hater it's me. If it has 0 haters I have died. If the world is against JS I am with the world, if the world is for JS I am against the world. It’s not a statement on your intelligence or ability if you’re not grasping JS, it probably indicates high intelligence and huge sexiness for inherent incompatibility with the worst thing in the internet.
Also for things where you’re just not grasping things, it might be helpful to ask an LLM / ChatGPT to explain it to you. When we were learning about PWAs it helped a lot
No. 2351089
File: 1737152652379.webp (52.06 KB, 611x422, q4JPTjpOmZAl4wLFAV8Y11OmtQiBtn…)
I fucking hate minimalism in all of it's forms, it's boring, bland and looks cheap. Being born in this era is a terrible curse.
It's insane to me that we now have the ability to easily build beautiful marvels and we just don't and instead just make shit as plain as possible. If we wanted to we could turn every neighborhood into a piece of magnificent art, we could be living in real life size animal crossing houses, cartoon disney houses, Rivendell or make every house look like a little rococo castle.
Not that it would have to be EVERY neighborhood, I'd be happy to have one or two fun themed ones in each town. But there is nothing.
Minimalist luxury products are also stupid, at least before you could claim you paid extra for the design. Now it's all a plain single-colored box with a text only logo on it. It's all so ugly and boring.
No. 2351107
File: 1737153462707.jpg (1.37 MB, 2904x2000, 5800cbb52c93a269f41f92f7394c6d…)
>>2351089agreed.
Retards just think that you have to choose between a sterile dystopia or a level 10 hoard.
Victorians knew what was up
No. 2351116
File: 1737153835363.png (10.23 KB, 201x251, caffeine.png)
I decided to give up caffeine for a New Years resolution. It's been spiking my anxiety every time I have a have an americano. I don't feel awake just anxious and twitchy, which I guess is a kind of awake. I used to drink a coffee brand called Death Wish no problem and now I can't handle anything. I just feel my bones vibrating and sweating.
Anyway I've been looking into caffeine amounts and jfc it's everywhere. It looks like I've been a addict my whole life kek. If a month off wired bean juice doesn't cure me then I'm going to have to give up coffee and tea altogether. I'm kinda sad about that. I know decafes an option but it doesn't taste quite right.
No. 2351120
>>2351116likewise! I had to quit due to it interfering with medications and it sucks because i love coffee for the taste and not the caffeine effects.
>I know decafes an option but it doesn't taste quite rightright?? Ive always felt it tasted more strong and burnt, not at all smooth like a regular coffee would taste. I miss warm drinks so much, I found out that tea, specifically matcha, has caffeine in it and im so bummed out…
No. 2351138
>>2351112>poorfagsI wish. You'd be surprised how many luxury mansions I have been in where it's just minimalist bullshit.
Lower middle class rural people who aren't trashy will actually avoid minimalist shit like the plague
No. 2351163
after hitting my mid 20s (and after finally starting ADHD medication) i've really chilled out more and have learned to stop ruminating so much. however the one thing that still manages to reduce me back to being a self-loathing angry upset teenage girl is my mother. in just the past few years:
>get into one of the top unis in my country
>while in uni, get accepted to study for a year at another top uni (THE best uni for the country i applied for, in fact) across the globe, all based on academic merit
>when i tell her she tells me i'm an idiot for applying to somewhere on the opposite side of the world, as though that wasn't the point
>right before i leave she tells me 'not to come home just because you miss your boyfriend or something', a thought which had never crossed my mind nor something i had ever suggested doing to her or anybody else or that i would ever do anyway
>the first two weeks of being there, i'm struggling with homesickness and loneliness
>stupid enough to call home and tell her
>she berates me again for being stupid enough to go to another country. like full on shouting at me down the phone while i cry
>cool. surely this won't linger or traumatise me or anything
>covid hits while i'm studying abroad, have to leave right as my second semester is starting
>come home, start my dissertation after a few months, it's hell, finish it during covid
>she doesn't congratulate me, just asks when i'm getting a job
>finally have my graduation ceremony over a year after i actually finished uni
>she ruins my entire graduation (and i really do mean ruins it)
>shows up late and almost misses it, spends the whole day sulking, comparing me negatively to other girls who have graduated on the same day, and implying i have no friends because i 'wasn't talking to anyone' (even though everybody i actually knew on my course had finished and graduated while i was still studying abroad)
>by sulking i mean while i was queueing for pictures, she literally sat alone on the other side of campus not speaking to anybody
>we go for lunch after my graduation at my fave asian restaurant
>she actually legitimately throws a fit and refuses to order anything because she 'doesn't know what anything is' (they serve chicken and rice), even her parents/siblings are embarrassed
>at the end of the day after embarrassing me in front of my family and boyfriend she gives me a hug and says 'what a lovely day!!!11!'
>walk home trying not to cry and go straight to bed at 6pm but it's fine because surely this also absolutely will not be something i will never recover from
>when i finally get my graduation pictures, i send two home - one for her and one for my grandparents
>she doesn't put the one i gave her up for literally two years
>still hasn't given my grandparents their photo. it's sitting in the envelope it came in in a drawer in my old bedroom
>struggle to get a job after graduation because it's still fucking covid
>implies i should just get a supermarket job (like her) and settle (like her) and that this might be my fault for getting a useless degree with a shit grade (i got a 2:1 from a very good uni)
>finally get a job
>i get a disinterested congrats before she immediately starts asking me how much i earn
>i'm made redundant after a year but i don't tell her because i can only imagine how bad it will be if i do
>she never finds out because she literally never asks me anything about my job, not even how my day has been if i call her late in the day
>instead she asks me why i haven't bought a house yet… in the city i live in halfway across the country with far higher house prices than the village i grew up in in the cheapest part of the country
>silly me i actually should have already had one lined up right after graduating uni, which is a normal thing to expect and is something that everybody else does of course
>not long after i've been made redundant she forces me to go on holiday with her to new york to celebrate 'my birthday' (read: because she wants to go but has no friends and thus nobody else to go with)
>belittles me for wanting to visit museums. like actually acts as though it's the most insane thing she's ever heard of in her life
>the holiday is a nightmare of course. whatever
>flash forward to summer last year
>i've moved into a beautiful apartment with my boyfriend in the middle of the city i live in
>finally get another job
>it's a really good job with a good wage in a well-respected sector where i'll be set with a job for life
>again, she doesn't care, just asks me about money and wages
>been in the job just over 5 months now
>have been given a pay rise already, have been nominated for multiple bonuses, and i've been complimented on my work by my manager, my boss, and the head of my entire directorate
>she still doesn't ask about work and i haven't told her so she doesn't even know
>still manages to ask me why i haven't bought a house yet though
the funniest part of this is that i'm an only child, so the 'golden child' she's always focusing on isn't even a sibling - it's some random fucking cousin of mine who is about 10 years older than me. just after i got my first job, my cousin got pregnant to her boyfriend while still living at home (and then had to have her parents buy her a house and do it up before she had the baby) (for reference, when i moved in with my boyfriend after a year of being together, my mother lost her shit and told me my grandparents would think i was a disgrace) (spoiler: they didn't, they couldn't have cared less). because of that she couldn't have given a shit about my job, it was all about my cousin.
even now all my mother talks about is my cousin's kid. the one time i did try to tell her about how well i was doing at my new job she interrupted me to talk about them instead. lol
at least now i'm older and feeling more secure, i don't feel like such a failure anymore. but i'll never really feel successful and it'll always hurt that she not only couldn't give a shit, but she has actively chosen to ruin so many massive parts of my life that i should have been so proud of (i didn't mention it but she also started a massive fight the night before i left for uni that coloured my entire uni experience too - i literally haven't had anything she hasn't spoiled for me in some way). but hatever haha. maybe i'll eventually tamp down that idiot part of my brain that still somehow expects something from her. on the plus side my very kind and complimentary boss told me out of nowhere that she wanted to adopt me last month so maybe i'll just secretly make her a pseudo-mother figure and get my validation there instead
No. 2351172
>>2350892hating oneself is super cucked and cringe
being ugly and the wrong race and still looking down on everyone is the way to go
No. 2351230
File: 1737158553924.jpeg (8.38 KB, 168x299, kyliej.jpeg)
>>2351165I'm pro plastic surgery but just don't get lip fillers. Just trust me when I say they look ugly on everyone, people just get home blind and can't tell that it makes them look worse. It doesn't matter how thin your lips are, they will not look better swollen. They can look great in pictures, but irl they always look like shit. The best most natural results I've ever seen were still noticeable and looked caterpillary. Kylie Jenner in picrel is one of the richest most famous women who can afford the best of the best and she still ended up looking botched af in candids. Even if you eventually dissolve them the injection pushed out your skin so when you remove it your skin is saggier and wrinklier, it's just not ever worth it.
Just trust that if you tweak other minor things on your face it WILL look more balanced and your lips will seem like much less of a problem. You generally need less surgery than you think.
No. 2351231
File: 1737158557734.webp (28.98 KB, 800x800, IMG_5082.webp)
>>2351049>>2351070Thank you nonas for responses, it truly means the world to me to get this validation! JS wouldn’t be such a struggle if it didn’t have such abstract terms for the majority of its methods and shit, I know I shouldn’t compare myself to those that are more experienced or have an easier time in general with grasping all of this but I always worry I’ll never understand any of it whenever I see them problem solve/write line after line of JS so effortlessly. So many times I’ve felt like I’m on the cusp of grasping this shit just to drop the ball…
> it might be helpful to ask an LLM / ChatGPTOh yeah, I do that A LOOOT kek every time I try to figure out a function/method too complex or abstract for my autistic pea brain I keep lowering the age level it needs to break it down to me. If it wasn’t technically just a glorified auto-correct I’d almost worry it’s starting to think I’m an actual five year old
No. 2351248
>>2351208Minimalism as an aesthetic is what you're describing, but minimalism as a philosophy (ie just own less stuff) is totally compatible with colour and personality. If anything, the fact that I don't want too much stuff in my home means I try even harder to pick everyday household items that are pretty, colourful and unique.
I totally agree about appliances, they should be readily available in way more colours. The few options we have, like Smeg, are prohibitively expensive. But I at least have a pink toaster, a green air fryer, a floral kettle, etc.
No. 2351264
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I feel like such an outcast everywhere I go. Exactly like picrel but everywhere and always. I don’t even try to pipe up in any group conversations anymore because it feels like shit to constantly be ignored or talked over. Even online it seems to be that as soon as I make a comment on a group conversation that is actively happening, the conversation immediately ends and no one else comments on it again.
I have no friends so I talk to random moids online to fill the lonely void even though I know they only like me because I’m a woman who will actually talk to them. It honestly feels so fucking bad. Sometimes I think about myself as a child and just cry because this is who she grew up to be. A friendless loser outcast who never found her place.
No. 2351344
>>2351264I feel the same, but I occasionally think about an old HS teacher telling me how great it is to find a community and feel accepted like that. He was well meaning and I guess meant I'll "find my tribe" in college, but I just studied alone in the library.
Even when I find people who seem like we would get along, I find that it was mainly superficial.
talking to people these days is just an exercise in how out of touch I am
No. 2351347
>>2351264Same
nonnie, same. I think some of us just don’t have the “it” factor that attracts people, making it harder to connect with them unless there is an equal effort. It makes for a very lonely life where it feels like you can disappear into a forest one day and no one would notice
No. 2351375
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Looking at flights and scoffing/keking at the attempts to make us peasants feel guilty for contributing to carbon emissions for a single flight when billionaires and people like Taylor Swift are emitting hundreds of TONS of CO2 per WEEK
No. 2351386
>>2349286>>2349347>she called it "fishy"This shit makes me want to alog so hard, I hate it when other women latch on to those misogynistic faggot "jokes" and enable them.
>serving faggot!!KEK