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No. 269962
Last Thread
>>259082Post your feelings, current struggles or whatever what you want to get off of your chest down below, as well as give advice to others
No. 269970
File: 1532105923339.jpg (114.21 KB, 875x550, cookin.jpg)
I don't feel things anymore, and never feel like doing anything either
I guess last year I got over stressed with school work, and went into a permanent state of not caring anymore, but it has stuck. I've barely drawn anything this year, even though I want to draw, because I can't think of any ideas, I hate my work or can't bring myself to do anything. This is pretty much the same with watching anime (haven't watched any since 2016, used to watch about 20 new shows per season) and learning Japanese too, 2 things I was hugely passionate before.
Not doing exercise is making me feel more useless, but it just get's too hot for me to run outside for 40 minutes, so maybe that's just summer feels
I really wish I could enjoy things again, especially my hobbies, as all I do all day is my job and spend all my time at home on the computer now. I can't even feel anger or be upset about my current state, as I just genuinely don't care (even though I want to care). I'm not me anymore, and I just feel trapped. The only thing that keeps me going is kpop sadly, as it gives something to look forward to every week
Is there something wrong with me? I want quits, I understand why people kill themselves now
No. 269972
>>269970I'm sorry anon, did something happen to make you feel this way?
Maybe it could be depression, it sounds like it.
No. 269980
>>269972Thanks,, I was over run with school work last year, and when I get put in a state of such high stress, I can't bring myself to work. I ended up coming to the conclusion that there is no point getting stressed, so I managed to stop caring about things, but this just made me still not work, but meant that I wouldn't get upset at teachers being angry at me.
It could be a mental illness, I watched Stef Sanjati's latest video and related to it completely, which made me think I might not be alone. I haven't really considered that I could be mentally ill before that though, I just thought that I'm a dumbass and is slowly becoming a family disappointment
No. 269983
>>269980>>269970Are you me?
I'm super stressed from college, but can't bring myself to look at a book and work keeps piling on.
I haven't drawn anything this year or studied Japanese or my other languages as much as I'd like to.
There are so many thing I want to do but don't.
I feel like my family and friends are getting frustrated with me too
No. 269997
File: 1532115789692.gif (269.39 KB, 500x281, tumblr_static_tumblr_static_3g…)
Why do i always manage to fuck everything good that happens to me.
I wish i could just disappear or stop being scared and just kill myself, at this point i'm sure it would be better for everyone.
No. 270031
>>269962I think I might be becoming racist and I don`t like it.
I've had bad experiences with black people, specially women and gay men, one of them in high school ala Mean Girls, in my country and they always come across as super rude and self involved, the mixed people are ok though they are the majority here, me included.
In this last week I've had two encounters with rude black women, one when I asked her politely if I was at the right bus stop for the bus I needed to take and she looked at me like I was a crazy person to dare to speak to her, and another in the subway, I got up because my stop was the next and asked her like 4 times "sorry, can I pass?" Because she was in the middle of the way playing candy crush. She never acknowledge my presence, kept looking at her cellphone and when I figured "well I'll just have to pass even if I need to push her a little" she acted all rushy and got off at the same stop. The fuck? She wasn't deaf btw, she had her ear plugs on, she just decided to ignore the hell of me when a simple "I'm also getting off" would have been enough.
I just hate how this brings me flashbacks of the time I lurked 4chan and a lot of racist slurs come flooding in my head, even though I'd never say something like this to anyone irl.
I just don't know, as I said the mixed people where I live act very normal, most, but the back people, specially the ones that live in black only communities and only have black family, are so nasty and never, never, smile.
I wish I didn't have these thoughts but damn, it wouldn't be asking for much for black people in my city to try to be a little bit more likable.
No. 270055
>>270038"I was so distracted by your cute face that I didn't actually catch your name"
Alternatively it could be a blessing that he's foreign since I could just ask for accurate spelling. That's probably what I'll end up doing.
No. 270106
>>270093dude are you me? i'm mixed as well and dealing with exactly the thing (especially that amerimutt meme, holy shit). when i was younger i literally never thought about race unless someone asked me about my background. i wasn't oblivious to the world around me, i just never thought about race unless someone dropped it on the table in front of me. but ever since sjw's and /pol/tards took over the internet i'm constantly thinking about racial and cultural shit.
as a personal example, my boyfriend is white and all of his friends also have nonwhite girlfriends (of varying ethnicities). we were at a party a few weeks ago and when someone jokingly brought that up, i immediately thought of that crudely drawn flag-bearer meme of all the non-western women and at the very end is a stereotypical sjw white girl. yikes dude.
No. 270169
>>270106I'm "glad" I'm not alone in this, it's like an invasive thought or some shit.
I'm half-white myself and also generally into brown guys, but every once in a while /pol/-tier racial slurs will just pop into my head either in regards to them or myself. I hate it.
No. 270174
File: 1532182380754.jpg (18.86 KB, 200x200, b9deeeacd849092d717f522f5145f2…)
I talked with my gramps yesterday since a while and we got a very depressing.
My brother went to jail because he was selling weed (it's illegal were I live) in the streets this years and my family got so desperate that my dad and mom asked people for money, and the one who helped the most was my gramps. I personally didn't approved this, since he screwed up way too hard in those years. My family was already angry with him since he basically forced my family to accept that his gf should live with us, and the worst shit is that she doesn't pay anything: she lives and eats for free and it causes us a lot of economical problems, but my brother still justifies that, making my father upset. Unfortunately I live alone with my brother so I can't do shit. I barely get money with my actual work. I can't live alone by my own.
It's not like my family has a lot of money. In fact, we don't, but this situation got us in more economical problems: my uncle doesn't have enough money for his health (he is pretty much disabled at this point), gramps' house is having some problems, sometimes they struggle to eat, etc.
And what my brother keeps doing? smoking weed and probably consumes other drugs like LSD and more (which was confirmed by his gf). He still also goes out with his shitty friends that pretty much made him go to jail.
I told all the truth to my gramps because I'm feeling like shit and he needs to know our real family situation. He felt like shit, but remained strong until the end.
This confirms a lot of things:
1. My gramps feels shamed about my dad. He is the only one without succesful kids.
2. My gramps hates my older brother.
3. He actually respects me a lot, and believes I'm the only sane person in my family.
4. It's upset with my mom and dad because they gave my brother waaaay to much freedom that he doesn't deserves.
5. He is also upset with them because they butchered my dreams to study in college because they need to focus in "his oldest son" instead of their daughter… Even considering that I was having very good grades.
6. My brother is forbidden of going to our family reunions. He hates my brother so much now that he strongly believes he is not worth it. He basically said he isn't a part of our family anymore.
Right now I'm having mixed feelings about this, and it makes me incredibly sad that my nearly 80 years old grandfather is feeling depressed due of my irresponsible brother.
I miss the old days…
No. 270335
File: 1532197658077.gif (1.62 MB, 498x367, 1513827447866.gif)
I'm going to a concert with a couple friends and I feel bad for not being excited.
All I can think about is how I'm "wasting" the last night of my weekend off before going back to work. It's not that I actually view the time spent as a waste, it's because my job forces me to interact hyper socially to a range of cunty customers nonstop so any time not around people is my recharge time. It's the down time that I feel is passing me by. I'll come home with anxiety and dread knowing my shitty job is mere hours away.
Secondly, the concert is outside in summer heat. The sun isn't out where I live but it's still muggy as hell. One friend going wanted to wear gothic lolita and just…no. It's too hot for that shit and I wouldn't even want to wear dresses like that even if it were an indoor venue.
I'm not saying I'm for looking like a festival thot, but I'd prefer to wear something that I'm okay with sweating in and getting dirty. Other people are dirty. Concerts are so fucking dirty. I don't like wearing anything nice that I would feel bad about getting destroyed.
No. 270339
>>270164Neckbeards who complain about the sequel trailer fucking disgust me.
Even if they didn't play the DLC, one of the last chapters towards the end of the game set it up so she's pretty fucking traumatized when it comes to men.
No coincidence that I haven't seen any women complain about that reveal. Men get assblasted about fictional lesbians in apocalypse universes, probably because they feel like they're especially owed the pussy. Surely complaining about "snowflakes" is just to cover their deep sexual frustration.
No. 270357
>>270343Yeah I've noticed this mindset too. European men are extremely creepy; they're way more bold and open about their perversions than American men are in my experience.
Also the some of the complaints the Europoors have about America makes me think they get their cultural knowledge of the US from watching Disney Channel movies. I remember an anon who was going on about how American kids are so spoiled and wasteful because they love having food fights, as if that's a totally normal and common thing in Elementary schools. If you're going to complain about a culture at least make sure your complaints are accurate, jfc
No. 270374
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I hate being an aspie. I can’t think of any recent social interaction that doesn’t make me wince. Like today I went downstairs to get breakfast and my parents (who i have basically no relationship with) just stared at me while i crossed the hallway and it made me so uncomfortable that i just went back upstairs to my room and waited 5 minutes to try go into the kitchen again so i knew id be alone and wouldn’t be forced to socially interact with them. I feel like everytime i leave my room or just the house in general i feel uncomfortable because i dont know how to be fucking normal
No. 270383
File: 1532203920792.gif (55.76 KB, 220x165, tenor.gif)
>>270335I know how you feel about working around people all day and having limited down time to yourself, anon. I am currently working in retail full time, and work both weekend days. I can handle my job, but honestly when I get off work I just want to sit down and relax for a while, alone. My boyfriend and friends always get super offended if I don't want to do stuff with them immediately after getting off work. (Even though they all spend their Sundays and Saturdays relaxing at home all day, or doing whatever they want).
I'm not a hermit though, I like going out and doing stuff, but preferably on consecutive off-days. That way I'm not exhausted, and don't have to worry about working the next morning. Also I fucking hate it when I'm out with people on a Fri/Sat night and I'm the only person who has to get up early the next day.
No. 270385
>>270357I have lived in the United States for 23 years and gone to public schools aand have never seen or heard of a real food fight.
I have also never seen athletes wear their Letterman jackets on game day, or geeks get shoved into lockers by bullies, nor do we have 30 minutes breaks in between every class for talking at our lockers, and we never dissected frogs.
American school set TV shows are full of lies.
No. 270409
>>270405I'm so sorry anon :(
I wish you a happy birthday and hope that things work out somehow ♡
No. 270410
File: 1532207685191.gif (1.94 MB, 400x288, 790c0895-0a50-4c15-ac15-154dae…)
I can't seem to manage to fall in love with men. Maybe to an extent I can find them kinda sexually appealing? The thought of marrying a man makes me feel really sad. It seems so unfulfilled to me. I always fall back to imagining about women. I've always caught myself checking women out. In general thinking myself in situations with women sexually. Not sure what I want & I don't want to date men anymore if my current boyfriend doesn't work out. Not because the relationship's are bad, but I can never reciprocate the same love. It's always unconditional & at most platonic. Am I possibly a lesbian? I'm just so afraid of being a fake lesbian or bi. I don't quite understand myself.
No. 270442
>>270409thank you so much anon <3
>>270415Thank you but it just feels so hopeless.. Nothing is going to beat the trip we planned. I also don't want mom to spend more money. I just feel dying honestly. I'll forever remember my 19th birthday as the worst birthday ever because of everything that has happened.
>>270421Thank you..Yeah it's seriously the worst thing that could've happened.
No. 270462
>>270410I'm in the same boat as you, anon. I'm still not sure if I would consider myself bi or Lesbian, tho
Try reflecting on why you find the men you do sexually appealing. Are you actually finding them appealing or do you just enjoy then feeling of being wanted? Do you find men in your everyday life appealing or just celebrities and famous men?
For me, I'm not necessarily sexuality attracted to men, but okay with have sex with them when I feel bad about myself and want to feel wanted and loved. And the only time I fantasize about men I when I'm feeling bad about myself and the fantasies are usually degrading and rough.
Also Compulsory heterosexuality is a actual thing that a lot of lesbians deal with.
No. 270525
File: 1532232584468.gif (125.16 KB, 500x365, orig.gif)
Becoming terrified of driving in the rain sounds stupid is one of the worst things to happen to me. I've been in car wrecks twice in my life: in the first one I spiraled across the highway and hit a guardrail head-on because of ice, and the second time was this past December when my car suddenly slid on a rainy slick backroad and went into a ditch (I swear I'm not a bad driver). The first one didn't scar me too bad because it was an isolated event, but after the second weather-related crash… I've become incredibly afraid of driving if the road is wet or icy. To an unreasonable degree.
For the first few months after the second crash, I would scream and cry in a full panic while I was driving in the rain because I was convinced I was going to slide off the road and die in a ditch. I've calmed down a little since then but I still fear rain so much. If I hear it's going to rain and I know I'll have to drive in it, I dread it for days ahead of time. When I'm driving in rain, I think I should pull over and text my loved ones goodbye because I fear the rain will cause me to crash and I'll never see those people again.
I've told my therapist about this and I try to tell myself that its an unreasonable fear but it's honestly not.. people die on rainy slick roads in car crashes. I know it happens so I can't get rid of my fear even though it sounds stupid. Its more than a fear for me, I'm consistently fearing that I will die when I'm driving in the rain. I don't know what to do.
No. 270526
>>270405I'm several hours late for this but pray tell what carrier did you book with?
I work for an airline and mine does have a clause for people with documentation issues.
>No refunds are possibleBut that doesn't necessarily mean you have no value left on your tickets! It's possible you can call their reservations line and see if you can change your tickets to a different date using the residual and a fee.
Unless they were non-changeable tickets, but for international I highly doubt it.
I'm sorry the airport workers were such crass cunts to you. If it's any consolation, I think they're power-tripping assholes too.
No. 270589
>>270525Anon it sounds like you may have PTSD or an anxiety/panic disorder relating to driving in rain/bad weather, I think you need therapy that specifically tackles that.
Also, you could take some advanced driving lessons or something once you have tackled some of this in therapy which teach you about driving in more challenging conditions to make you feel more capable of driving in bad weather.
Also maybe taking your car to get checked out to make sure the tyres and brakes etc. are okay would help put your mind at ease in the mean time?
No. 270591
File: 1532254833923.jpg (16.15 KB, 360x270, asuinsane.jpg)
That's going to be so generic, but I just broke up with my boyfriend with whom I had one of the most perfect connections. We suited eachother so nicely, everything was so good and he IS such a good person, but goddamit he sucks at relationship so much. At the very beginning we had an amazing chemistry, we loved eachother so bad, but our relationship has gone to shit in June and July. He started being less and less active with me, we didn't spend time with eachother even over the internet, we haven't heard eachothers voice in a fucking month. I talked about our issue, he told me that 'uguuu im such a bad boyfriend im so sorry' and gave dumb promises to do something about it too, because It felt like I was talking to a wall all this time. Yet nothing changed and I still want him back. That might sound so selfish, but I love him so, so much that I'm ready to do freaking anything. Hell, at night I tried to talk about it again. I said that we can try to change the issue between us again, I apologized, I took all the blame on myself yet all i got was: I don't care about our relationship anymore. With fucking 'im really really sorry' and his always dramatical dots. I'm so mad and frustrated. I feel like our relationship was such a waste since the beginning and he never cared that much. I was always the only one who cared about the future. why am i like this, jfc? Im so stupid.
No. 270594
I never learned how to drive because I always saw myself living abroad and moved out of country a year after graduating high school to a country that has amazing public transportation. I hate the idea of driving and have no desire to ever buy my own car. The idea of being on the road with reckless drivers terrifies me.
I’ve been back home now for a year trying to sort out my visa that I’ll be getting in September, so i wont even be here that much longer anyways. I work from home and dont really go out much because my parents live in a rural town. Everybody keeps pressing me to get my license but cant see why i have no fucking need or want for one. Since my work is flexible, i get all sorts of calls from family asking me to watch their kids,house,pets, you name it. They spring this shit on me last minute and then act so inconvenienced when i ask if i can uber over and spend the night instead of ubering early in the morning, or ask for a ride home (which i never really do, only in emergencies). I went to go look after a younger cousin, whose a very sassy 5 year old. She basically yelled “HEY ANON GUESS WHAT MY MOM SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO WATCH ME TOMORROW. YEAH I HAVE TO MISS SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE A CAR OR A JOB!”
Like cool, thanks aunt for talking about me in front of your kid. She tried to play it off as if the kid just made it up completely, but it was obvious she was flustered. Nice to know that she thinks I’m unemployed too.
I’m tired of people judging me for one stupid little thing. Always so condescending too. And ALWAYS when it has to do with they fact that it in convinces them when I’m they one they chased after to do them a favor. I only put up with it because they pay me and we’re family. But I wouldnt be one bit offended if they just found someone else.
No. 270614
>>270591A classic fate when dating scrotoids.
I am sorry, anon.
No. 270626
File: 1532265397151.jpg (212.08 KB, 874x720, 1873583758373.jpg)
Some black guys in a Discord server I'm in spent a good 40 minutes reaming me and calling me a "coon" for using 4chan because racist white guys also use it (one of them called it "Stormfront for pre-teens"). . Later, I saw one of them who was especially aggressive toward me post screencaps he saved from a Yu-Gi-Oh thread on 4chan.
I called him out, and he flipped his shit backpedaling and calling me "retarded". I ended up blocking him, and then another came to his defense and implied that lurking is fine. So, it's okay to dedicate your time to reading posts about a fucking children's anime about card games written by "racist white boys", but actually posting there about other hobbies is a cardinal sin? Makes perfect sense /s. I pointed that out, and he then moved the goalposts and tried to say the issue was that I "downplayed the racism". Mind you, I only mentioned using 4chan there in passing to joke about the racist posters and how they were fucking retarded.
I stayed for a bit, then just left because I can't surround myself with hypocrites and retarded faux "woke" activists like that (especially when they're idiot manchildren who like YGO above the age of 14). Honestly, he sounded like a fucking incel, too. He was probably just feeling cucked and angry at the thought of someone black and female interacting with anything white and male, though he also admitted to having a hateboner for me before and said it was the "third time" he was mad about some sort of argument (which makes no sense, I hadn't posted there in literal years until two days ago, and in that time, my only semi-negative interaction was me saying I don't hate all white people, and this occasion of him screaming me for using 4chan).
The grand irony of all this? The server itself was started by people who use 4chan. It was advertised specifically on /fa/ for black hair care/styling.
No. 270634
File: 1532266768778.jpg (40.14 KB, 1280x720, ok.jpg)
>>270626I think I might have been in the same server for a week or so. Do they call their oldest users "veterans"? I joined because it was advertised on /fa/ lol.
No. 270717
File: 1532287710661.jpeg (46.64 KB, 423x262, DB947AFD-CC77-42BC-9195-72902F…)
My husband decided on a really positive career change that finally moved us away from DC, where we’d been living for about a year, and, aside from some drama with our shitty apartment office, the transition from there to where we are now was fantastic; he’s currently in WA for work after a few months in GA while I’m with his family in AZ and I couldn’t be happier. But lately I’ve been feeling worn down.
I’ve had trouble finding a job, which eats away at my depression because I basically NEED something productive to do or I start to slump, I’m “friends” with an insufferable cow from /snow/ who honestly drives me nuts but I try to stay to give the thread occasional updates, and just recently a family member I had an ugly falling out with has been trying to work her way back into my life via the sympathy card. Long story short she has a history of bullying me ever since we were kids (we’re a month apart in age, she’s pretty and skinny while I’ve always been the fat, weird one) and she repeatedly emotionally lashed out at me after she found out I had an abortion while she chose to go through with a pregnancy with a guy our whole family pretty much despises; guy is rude, abusive, literal trailer trash with an arrest record and basically looks like Hank Hill with a touch of downs. I had gotten married a few weeks before her baby was born, she blames me for our family not being excited about the baby, and was consistently passive aggressive through any interaction we had until I finally just cut contact with her.
While I was vacationing with a mutual friend in Canada recently she saw the pictures via Facebook and reached out to compliment my weight loss (She’d tried once back when my dad died in 2016, but I ignored it given the circumstances and how she’d always hated my dad, so I was in no mood for her faux sympathy. Also, I’m down from 346lbs to 227!), then used that window to vent about her now-husband being the POS we all knew he was (turns out he cheated on her during the pregnancy with a friend who later was a bridesmaid at their wedding), how she moved from our home town because all her old popular high school friends now avoided her, and I can feel myself wanting to be sympathetic and give her a shoulder to lean on, but time and time again it’s literally just an abusive relationship between us; it’s great for a week or two, then she’s Mr Hyde again. Is it too harsh to say you hate a family member? Because any time she’s brought up, I see her face, of hear her name I have a very visceral gut reaction and start to shake. I hate that she affects me so much, and I’ve left her most recent message on read because I just don’t know what to say.
No. 270719
>>270717Honestly no matter how nice you've been to her it seems like she'll always bully you because she hates herself and situation and you shouldn't have to go through that. (that's really awesome about the weight loss anon)I can relate about the job eventhough I'm just part-time (pot washer) it really does help with depression even if its not the greatest pay. Don't worry anon just keep at it! Maybe you should apply to pot washing as well? It'll give you something to do for time being and you can earn lil' money on the side, and they're always in high demand because everyone else is applying to retail jobs lol.
Fake kindness is the worse especially when you know its fake. You sound like a good person (you can sympathize for her) but honestly this 'abusive relationship' it seems like she's never going to change and will always try to bring you down, she's got to want to try and change herself. She's taking everything out on you because she has a shit life (unwanted child) (shit husband), and she's using you as the punching bag. Watch from a distance but I wouldn't contact her because she seems like she enjoys making you feel miserable. Don't feel bad for not replying, just block her and maybe think it over? Or delete her number, she just seems like a nasty bitter person. Who once had it all (popular in school, skinny and pretty) even the school social hierarchy's mean nothing in the real world but she still has the nerve to continue her horrible behaviour.
No. 270724
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>>270719Thanks, anon, it felt great to let this out. My husband listens, of course, but I think sometimes people just need an anonymous place, ya know? I put out a few more job applications today, so fingers are crossed.
No. 270728
File: 1532290828353.gif (278.31 KB, 500x375, virtual hug.gif)
>>270724Yeah! You got this! :D I totally agree, it's good to vent and let it all out anonymously. Volunteering might help too! For an extra extra thing to do to keep us busy. I'm sure you'll do great anon, I wish you the best :)
No. 270741
>>270732CHOKE AND KICK???? what a fucking monster. That is really fucked, I'm sorry you have to live with that anon, I have no idea how hard it must be. How old are you anon (if you don't mind me asking)? Is there anybody you can talk to with authority that you can trust? Why does your dad have to put up with the bullying does he hate conflict? It's not fair that she gets away with treating you all like shit because she's a miserable piece of shit. I wish I could do more but these sites might help,
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/Idk if she has bpd, like anon was suggesting but she may have but mental illness is still no excuse to be a bully. Is it impossible or have you tried sitting down with her and telling her how she's affected the family. I hope things get sorted out and that you and you're dad and puppy are safe anon.
No. 270748
>>270736Not really, we tried to talk her into trying to visit a psychologist before. But she didn't took it well and got offended. Don't need to be sorry!
>>270741(I dont mind telling my age, I'm 18 turning 19 in september) I often talk with my uncle ( her brother ) and he help me sometimes, her sisters back her up so I gave up calling them for help.
My dad is afraid she'll do something bad to me if he stand up about the abuses. She tried to run away with me when I was a child ( because my dad asked her to help him clean up the house) . So he got kind of scared since.
Thank you for the reddit links, I suspect of narc because she throws a scene when I try to go out with friends ( she pushes all my clothes out of the
wardobre, put the clean dishes back on the sink to make me clean all up again right when I'm about to leave home ) and calls me ugly to flatter herself while doing it. Thank you anon, I hope so too
No. 270756
>>270589One thing I forgot to mention is that I got rid of my car that was in the wreck even though people at the auto shop said it was good to go. I was pretty convinced that I would die in that car so I'm driving around something else now.
I've thought about it being PTSD, but my therapist didn't bring it up when I told her what I'm dealing with, so I've dropped it.
I didn't think about more driving lessons though and I might look into that, thanks anon.
No. 270762
File: 1532300157933.jpeg (218.21 KB, 1242x1065, A4C6EB8E-275B-48D9-8FCE-17136C…)
>some random account I follow on tumblr reblogged a user that’s obviously ripping off the illustrations of another popular artist
>checked their account and they somehow also had the gall to complain about how ~problematic~ said artist is whose style and themes they are mimicking
Really
No. 270770
>>270748I turned 19 this year too! Happy birthday for September. She's a sad person, we've gotta keep fighting anon and anon, if she calls you ugly you must be looking beautiful to make her feel that insecure. But no mother should call there child ugly and your dad truly loves you. Have you got a part-time job? Its good to get away from the family that might help for the time being, I'm a pot washer, it's fun join me :D I've got your back if you ever want to message me on discord my names: Ash Catches Them All , and yeah the people on reddit are really nice. I've never dealt with a full blown narcissist but I have experienced it, and I know nobody deserves to go through it. You just gotta keep doing you and doing the things you love.
I guess I'll rant, skip if you don't wanna read an autobiography (rip) I just didn't really no how to put it. My twin sibling has Downs Syndrome along with Autism, OCD and anger issues. Lets call him Harry. He has the mental age of a 3 year old and can barely speak and he is not very nice. A couple of years ago he punched our mums eyes and she thought she was blind (that's when I knew he was dangerous).
I love HIM TO BITS I WOULD DIE FOR HIM but I also FUCKING HATE HIM and sometimes wish he was aborted even if that could have aborted me as well.
Its stopped for the past few weeks but before he was having tantrums nearly every night we had to pin him to the floor before he could hurt himself or ourselves. I'm just tired. We usually end up being bitten or scratched and I feel bad for our mum because he's taken big chunks out of her hair that makes her upset because her hair is already thinning.
When he has these tantrums he's like a rabid animal breaks everything around him, the worse of it all is that he will never learn or think what he's doing is wrong because of his mental age and as soon as he's calmed down he says 'sorry' and you have to say 'it's ok Harry' about 10 times or else he'll lash out again.
He also has
trigger words like 'stop it' which is kinda ironic lol. We have code words like 'he's amber' or 'beady eyed' so to be cautious, he also copies disabled children's behaviour from school so its a downward spiral kek. I'm just so tired of it. But I love him and when he's nice he's like an innocent baby and he's the sweetest brother in the world he loves us loves me, he truly cares for me.
When he has tantrums its different. When my mum screams for help on one occasion I didn't go because I just couldn't feel sympathy for her anymore, she insists keeping him in the house when he's dangerous to the whole family. I just don't care anymore, I've never posted this because its natural, yes it gets bad but nobody's get's really hurt. He's also developed a routine and if you break out of that routine it also gets bad that could be for the slightest thing. But that's why we've got to stick to the routine.
AND HE SCREAMS IN THE MORNING EVERYDAY. FUCKING. DAY. THIS IS A MORE RECENT THING so it annoys me more than it should lol. I've seen it but in the past when we've had to pin him down my brother would choke him out of anger and admittedly I scratched him on the foot and arm when he was pinned down and enjoyed it even though that's a horrible thing to do.
My dad is going through depression because he can't handle his new job and he might lose it, so he's been kinda snappy and angry at me over little thing and I feel like I've always got to cater to him because he uses his depression (eventhough I have sympathy for him) but I think he's getting better, at least I've started a partime job, and I can kinda manage the anxiety.
But before my dads uncertain job I feel like me and my sibling have had a privileged life (keyboard lessons, swimming lessons, drama school for most of my life, skiing holidays) so I feel like I deserve what our brother does because that's what comes with living a privileged life. It's justified or else I would have had the perfect life. You get what I mean.
I've also become extremely cynical with disabled children even though I love them, if I was pregnant and we found out it was disabled I would not blink and get an abortion. I will never adopt disabled children either it's just too much heart break. I feel like children like my brother should be put down (if they are violent), but I also would never want that to happen.
After years I was shocked to find out that a lot of people with Downs Syndrome are normal and can function in society but it's hard not to judge since people with Downs Syndrome have similar facial features and it just remind me of Tom and his behaviour.
He's now on pills that make him zone out for 3 hours but for some reason he's still able to fight us. I'm very cautious uploading this ((none of my family know about this site or relatives, or friends)) idk lol
No. 270821
>>270770Thank you for the advice! I'm currently at Uni and it takes all my day. But I'll try to get some jobs when there's a break. Thank you for giving me your discord! I'll try to hit u up when I log in again. ( But Idk if its good for you to have you name displayed here, hope no one tries to mess with you )
You seem like a very good sister. It's a difficult situation with your brother, you love him, but he can also hurt you ( even if he didn't really mean it ) Is there any way to get him professional help? Your mother won't be able to calm him down forever, Hope you guys find a way to keep everyone happy and healthy ) :C
No. 270858
>>270770I’m so sorry anon that you have to live through this. I’ve witnessed a fit from an otherwise cheerful girl with a developmental disorder - truly not sure what she had. Any time I saw her it was always positive, but one day the environment was different and I think it confused her. She suddenly went into a rage and started throwing things and pulling down heavy objects. Her care taker had to pin her down like you describe and it was so traumatic to watch - however I knew I had to stay away until it was all done. When they are angry they have strength they otherwise do not - does that make sense?
Seeing that once was so hard, I can not imagine it being daily. It’s veey emotionally draining for everyone involved. I wish you luck with your family and I hope they can find some help in some way… it’s so hard on everyone. Sending you a hug anon.
No. 270873
>>270864this shit pisses me off so much! especially from people in the US. people always always seem to claim that drs are making that shit up, but news to them, drs make
less money off of people who aren't obese and don't have the many many chronic health issues that come with it.
No. 270878
>>270807>>270821>>270858Yeah it helped a lot! Thank you guys for letting me get it off my chest and listening to me, you don't know how much it means to me. And how you think I'm a good sister after saying those things it's helped and reassured me a lot. I honestly got a bit emotional reading the replies and how supportive you guys are.
>>270821No probs anon, I'm going Uni in September so it's not long, yeah hit me up B I think its #4751 if it doesn't work. (I'll change my name if they do) Yeah my mum said they'll be a point that they won't be able to take care of him anymore but I think he gives my mum a strong purpose in life if that makes any sense for the time being and we've become more aware of his
triggers. The medication has also helped make him calmer. Thank you for the support anon.
>>270858That's sad to hear about the girl I hope she's ok and yeah that makes sense. Thank you for your kind words it means a lot, lately it's not been as bad, thank you for the support and hug anon. I think things will get better because September he's going to a special needs uni and they have specialized teachers and classes with proper facilities which I think will really help. And he seems a lot happier when he's at school.
No. 270883
File: 1532327767069.jpeg (5.25 KB, 225x225, download.jpeg)
>rough day at work
>go to view company-wide facebook page
>one person asks people to post cute animal pictures to lighten mood
>retarded coworkers post pictures of their ugly shitbulls
I gotta get out of here.
No. 270884
File: 1532327873082.jpg (81.07 KB, 960x640, 7c7e092490afd523185802a6f771d8…)
>nerdy male friend I rejected years ago
>talks about his gf to friends specially me all the time
>his first serious relationship
>shows me pics of her and his gifts to her every fucking time
>was looking for RPG things to gift him on his bday but 'she's already gonna give me those'
>getting meaner probably bcuz he's dating now
Sometimes I think he's unexperienced and wants to brag a little but most times it feels like he's trying to rub in my face 'look I got myself a gf while you're still single'. It's driving me crazy how he treats his gf like a literal goddess and then proceeds to act like an ogre towards me. I really just wish he treated me with the some respect since we know each other since HS and I've been nothing but a great friend all these years. Also, I find it weird when he says he's a submissive guy, wants women to rule the world/society and yet is always kind of agressive? I might be expecting too much from a male, after all.
No. 270905
File: 1532334171088.jpg (81.77 KB, 540x960, horrifying.jpg)
>>270893I love most dogs, just not ugly shitmonsters that attack and kill people and do the same to other dogs.
How can you claim to love dogs and support a breed that's often aggressive and unpredictable towards them?
If any other type of pet attacked and killed as many people and their pets as shitbulls did, that pet would be banned everywhere.
>>270894Hah, but no seriously.
>people posting adorable pictures of their dogs>snuggly cats>affectionate birds>then someone posts this beady-eyed looking psycho>"LOOK AT MY CYOOT PUPPEEEE CHEESIN FOR THE CAM!"Sure lady. It looks scary.
No. 270910
>>270884>I find it weird when he says he's a submissive guy, wants women to rule the world/society and yet is always kind of agressive?The red flag is right there. Never trust a male "feminist" or anyone who identifies as such. From my anecdotal experience most "male feminists" are more than not often just misogynists with a femdom fetish. They can be the biggest closet assholes you'll ever meet. What usually get's them to come out is when they no longer recieve the social validation for their beliefs/views which they crave. Sounds to me like he stopped being friendly with you now that he's getting his validdation from his new gf.
I don't mean to play armchair psychiatrist or judge your friend and your relationship with him, but keep an eye out. If I'm right it's a slippery slope from where things are between you two right now.
No. 270912
>>270905You don’t need to justify yourself so hard. Idc what dog breeds you do or don’t like, nobody does.
It’s just funny to see someone bitch and moan because a harmless picture you weren’t forced to veiw exists. It’s such a petty stance.
No. 270917
>>270912You're the one who accused me of hating all dogs because I said I don't like pitbulls, don't pretend you're not being defensive towards my little opinion that I certainly didn't force you to view and reply to in the
vent thread.
No. 270920
>>270919Huh, weird how posters like you don't ever seem to differentiate yourselves and jump right in place for the original anon who made the unreasonable leap in logic to
trigger my response that you're complaining about.
No. 271025
File: 1532362473275.jpg (35.57 KB, 680x578, god.jpg)
>be me
>bring boyfriend on a movie date to my old workplace
>old manager and coworkers recognize me, say hi, catch up, etc
>go to watch movie
>bf is all over me the whole time like a horny 14 year old
>hand on my thigh, loudly kissing my neck, etc.
>he keeps talking during the movie
>have to repeatedly shush him and take his hands off me
>employees (my old coworkers) come in and out of the theatre frequently to serve drinks and stuff so they all witness this
holy fuck it was really embarrassing
he's never been like this any other time we've gone to the movies. i guess he was trying to like… idk assert his dominance or something? most of my coworkers were male so it felt like he was being gross to make sure they all know i'm off limits. he's an adult, 5-ish years older than me at that. i'm not taking him to that location again. i'm kind of mortified.
No. 271110
>>271065Ugh, I'm glad to hear it's not just me who thought that. If that's what works for them, I guess it's their business, though, lmao. I just regret ever wasting my time there only to get burned.
Maybe one day there'll actually be a decent, active Discord server out there for black hair care stuff, preferably with that "imageboard culture" crossover.
No. 271161
File: 1532396861262.jpg (50.36 KB, 500x291, sobspock.jpg)
I studied really hard to this test (it's actually a test to work to the government, i don't know how to call it in english) and still failed miserably. I kinda knew I wasn't going to pass, cause the test is super hard and sought over, but as I kept studying I thought maybe I could have a chance. Nope. I am a bit bummed out because the pay was very good. Well, best luck next time, I guess.
No. 271190
File: 1532400784174.jpg (21.89 KB, 375x542, CN-bDLOUEAATqqt.jpg)
I'm really hairy, I've always have been. I get full coverage of hair EVERYWHERE. On my stomach, chest, face, neck, back, ass, you name it. I always have to wear clothes that covers most skin because of it. Ironic how my head hair is thinning from the edges, but regrows absolutely everywhere in a week. I don't know what to do. I'm not comfortable enough to accept it. Shaving doesn't work because I'm very pale & my hair is very dark. You can even see the pores & some hair when I shave underneath the skin. Never tried waxing though. I do remember using Nair ( i think? ) hair removal cream on a patch of legbeard & it didnt regrow in that certain area for about 5 years. Huh, is that even normal? Now for my vent, I don't think I could ever get naked in front of a lover because of all the hair I have all over my body. Makes me sad I'm pretty much a freak. I'm very jealous of women with little hair. I'd give anything to end my hairyness. I didn't even inherit it from my dad, but my mom who is half french.
No. 271195
File: 1532404210849.jpg (47.95 KB, 438x375, 1523750657612.jpg)
>>270910Damn anon I think you hit the nail on the head here, I really appreaciate your insight. He's actually worse than that, since he unleashead all his secret fetishes on me (I was curious) I can't see him in the same light again. Fucking hell, I'd hate to be his gf with all the shit he's been pulling.
Yesterday he felt the need to tell me he bought two vibrators while we were in a pizza place, ffs
Best one until now: he wanted to be born as a woman but changed his mind now he's getting his validation as a super M sub or whatever
No. 271248
File: 1532423387247.jpg (26.84 KB, 317x428, 4b2.jpg)
I'm trying to apply for a government job that's really sought after and someone told us to use the in-site resume builder instead of uploading our own because apparently it's better?
I want to get this done ahead of time because apparently the slots are first-come-first-serve and I don't want to miss because I was working on the resume last minute.
I timed out the first time because lolcow distracted me lel.
I've done it a second time now and that took me about an hour. I hit save and now it's fucking stuck on the loading screen and has been for the past 8 minutes.
I'm going to vomit if this doesn't go through. I don't want to have to make up duties/skills/accomplishment bullets all over again. Fuck me from sunday this shit is so annoying.
No. 271260
>>271199I just wanted to ask you or any other anons with experience, have you ever used one of those permanent hair removal devices and are there any recs?
sage for ot
No. 271296
>>271196Not to be a """handmaiden""" but I've witnessed women doing this, too. Grabbing onto, kissing, and straddling their bfs in public to show that he's theirs.
It just seems to be more of an insecure partner thing than a man thing.
A macho act would be more like degrading his gf to other men.
No. 271305
>>270119Yes it sucks. I found out my husband(then bf) watched it for many years and hid it for some reason(i would not have cared early on, i was really into fanfiction),and did not bother to tell me until a religious conversion when he was really trying to get his shit together. The lies hurt, and he could have at least told me he could not go 12 hours without it before i wasted my time sending him nudes.
I work hard on my appearance also, and it bums me out that i will never feel hot enough again like i did before. He shouldnt have told me, just cut that shit out and kept his mouth shut.I love him dearly but Lord that old self esteem took a hit.
More recently I mentioned that I found a certain celebrity quite attractive and he got so sad and insecure. This might makes me a bitch but i felt so vindicated. He said "This is how I made you feel?" YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES.
We understand each other a lot better now and im glad his porn addiction seems to be over.
No. 271518
>>271432i prefer this tbh. why say something you're not sure about? just because you're supposed to feel that way? i think holding off makes it way more meaningful if he does fall in love with you.
how long have you been together?
No. 271562
>>271544Nah. Some fit guys want a gym bunny for a partner and some fit guys want a chubby girl. It’s like the height meme. Everyone knows the joke about shirt guys being undateable manlets but irl lots of shirt guys are in relationships. Tess holiday has a much thinner husband despite being over 300 pounds herself.
Your body isn’t the only thing a decent partner will be interested in. There’s more to you than whether or not you have visible abs.
No. 271571
File: 1532499443771.jpg (135.98 KB, 700x933, tumblr_oynig3BASu1tepew7o1_128…)
>tfw people used to complement you on your cute figure bc they didn’t know you were anorexic and now that you’re at a normal weight you realise your body type and weight distribution is wholly unspectacular and no one complements you anymore
sucks
No. 271592
File: 1532500869653.jpeg (81.67 KB, 512x384, 61C1E71D-76A2-4CA6-92E1-AE30A1…)
My grandma was a shit mom, had 5 kids with different dads, and had my last two aunt and uncle 13 years after her third child. My mom was basically the one forced to pseudo raise them from age 16 until she basically married my dad and moved to across the country with him at age 21. My grandma was a big partier and left my mom and her other siblings with my great grandma when they were younger.
She’s such a manipulative narcissist and tries to act like the perfect grandmother to my youngest aunts kids. She does all of these facebook lives to show them off to all of her old lady friends and makes comments about how they are such grandmas boys, etc. Its all so fake and annoying, because she’s got 8 other grandchildren born before them and she was never like that to any of us. Fuck your social media image. You were a shit mom and a shit grandmother years before these kids were born. But that doesnt make for a good image now does it?
No. 271619
File: 1532504652004.jpg (26.87 KB, 480x360, figure it out.jpg)
Boyfriend is complaining to me about his job again. He works for a chain restaurant as a bartender and already he wants to quit, it's only been 7 months. Why? Not because of his coworkers, manager, the actual work–nope. Because "he can't get behind" the cocktails he serves at the restaurant.
………
It's the most superficial, retarded thing I've ever heard.
The work isn't difficult, it's often slow, his shifts are short, and he can fudge his schedule often because they don't formally clock.
Worst of all, he acts like it's all unfair. As if it's so unusual for the average person to have to deal with corporate bullshit and sell things they don't personally find useful or great.
He doesn't have a college degree, but massive amounts of debt from dropping out and blowing off making payments. He can't go back to college because they won't release his credits back to him.
He's only ever been in food service. He has no other skills, certs, or training.
It makes me mad how he can't suck it up and stick to anything. For the entire four years we've dated he hasn't been with any single job for more than 2 years.
Meanwhile, I have degrees up to an MA and I don't even make over 20/hr. I deal with customers and coworkers with room temp IQs back to back all day. I sell products for a brand I think is bullshit all day. Nobody acknowledges my skill or appreciates me, even though I meet and exceed company metrics every month, because it's never enough.
I've been with this job for over 3 years because it's given me stability, benefits, and nice perks. I sucked it up and dealt with it because it's what I've fucking had to do.
Will I find a better job? Hopefully out of my applications I'll finally find out adequate. But for now, it's better for me to stick with a job I hate that gives me stability because that's the mature thing to do!
No. 271625
>>271619>I sell products for a brand I think is bullshit all day.Which brand anon?
Also, dump him, he has no future and doesn't seem like he got plans for the future.
No. 271631
>>271628>>271629Because people who've at least tried to work on their employability shouldn't feel sorry for chronic quitters and people who've never tried to improve their situation.
Sounds like you've got a struck nerve. Especially since you think it's uncommon for college grads to be underpaid.
No. 271711
>>270119I don't like porn because everyone is so ugly in it, male and female, so I can't relate to the female on-screen and have to try not to look at the male.
Definitely agree that if a guy has a big collection of only specific actresses it's
problematic No. 271716
>>271637>my mom who spends criticizing my whole bodyI see this a lot about farmer's moms on this website, my question is how do you stop yourselves from getting angry back at them?
If my mom treated me this way I'd probably neg every single bodily flaw she had until she stopped shitting on me.
Are you from a culture where you can't talk back or something?
No. 271724
>>271716My mum emotionally bullied me growing up, I had an older brother that could assert himself and be aggressive towards her to put her in her place. Horrible that it ended up like that. If I talked back to her I would get the shit beat out of me. I asked her why once after a pretty horrendous altercation and she told me simply because I was a girl and smaller she could do this.
Unfortunately some women are complete insecure bitches and can't even share affection with their offspring. I hightailed it the fuck out of there at 18.
No. 271792
File: 1532543462391.jpg (10.59 KB, 480x360, hqdefault-1.jpg)
My ex took his new girlfriend to Disneyland a month after he took me. I'm the one who liked Disney, he doesn't even like it that much.
No. 271836
>>271830Definitely go to the convention. Drop into some of the activities/panel presentations/etc. that you're interested in and talk to some guys there. Or hang out near vendors/artists that sell things related to series that you like.
Alternatively, talk to some of the artists about their work. You won't seem awkward for being alone since it's one-on-one anyway.
As for other times, just visit the mall or some local stores and scope out any qts that work there. Then just ask them out/drop your number and get to know them through text. Generally, men are less frightened by women approaching them since we aren't a physical threat. And if he says no, just avoid that shop.
That's my plan, anyway.
I'm asking out a guy this weekend using this technique, so I'm not a hypocrite at least. No. 271841
>>271839I have been drinking a lot recently because of depression, but my liver can't take it anymore, i throw up every time i drink so yeah.. that was only one thing that helped me chill, but thanks
>>271836thanks for the tips, i will try them! and good luck for u too!
No. 271861
File: 1532558464730.gif (495.62 KB, 500x270, 1489022871552.gif)
>go on google looking for a specific image of a cute children's character
>come across a disturbing image of said character
>read article attached to it, it discusses how there's disturbing videos on youtube that trick children into watching by using their favorite characters in a convincing thumbnail.
>Their nature is similar to those awful bootleg Elsa/Frozen games
>the reason people make them is because it generates them a lot of ad revenue because kids are always clicking on them, and they make them disturbing on purpose to avoid copyright stuff and just for kicks to fuck people up
>hearing all the stories about traumatized kids reminded me of an awful memory of when my older sister had shown me a creepy miffy or/hello kitty? Halloween animation back in the early 2000s involving them vomiting from eating too much candy.It traumatized the shit out of me
It's dumb to think about now as an adult but when you're a kid, seeing that kind of thing is the worst
I hate the internet sometimes, it's too easy to find disturbing stuff.
No. 271906
>>271862anon, he should be proud that you’re proactive about your life and future and you want to enrich it by studying abroad. that’s something that lots of people only dream of doing!
to be honest it sounds like you’re on a higher level of emotional maturity than your bf. he seems insecure about you being on your own and finding joy in life that’s not 100% focused on him. it sounds like you already know all that though. put yourself first always, anon. (i know it isn’t the advice thread but i wanted to congratulate you on the exciting plans and let you know your complains sound justified)
No. 271938
>>271862Please go.
My husband pulled the same shit when we were dating and not going is the biggest regret of my life.
No. 271956
I gave this guy from work my number, and we went to high school together so he's not a stranger by any means. In highschool he was one of the cool, funny kids. Not the most popular but normal and likeable.
At work I would flirt with him and what not, which for me doesn't mean a whole lot, since I like meaningless flirting and I naturally have a flirty personality.
Once I gave him my number though I realized that I really wasn't in to him at all, but i feel like I've lead him on at this point, and I feel bad. I'm a very passive person so confrontation is hard for me and usually if I change my mind about someone I just slowly stop speaking to them.
He's constantly asking me if I would ever hook up with him (which I always just avoid answering or just give non answers to), and today I was off work and wasn't responding to him super fast or anything, so he text me, questioning me why I wasn't texting him back fast since I wasn't at work. I told him I was busy, because I was. He responded asking what I was so busy with. I didn't text him back, my phone was in my bedroom, while I spent time with my family and then showered, so he proceeds to call me. I didn't answer it but still it's super weir, to me that he would call somebody because they didn't answer his text.
We've only been texting for a few days and his behavior is kinda weirding me out. Like I said before in highschool he was normal, and he's a decent looking guy so he can get girls and I'm sure he has females attention.
Idk maybe I'm just used to friends that I only message a few times a day, and his behavior is normal and I'm just over reacting.
No. 271959
>>271956if youre uncomfortable with him dont force yourself to take it further. we arent obligated to answer our phones. put him on block and if he starts pestering you at work, speak to hr. if he is in the way of your productivity at your shared workplace, then its an issue for the company.
personally he seems really pushy and youre obviously uncomfortable with all of this
No. 272145
>>271956>>271959>>272038>>272088Thanks for the advice anons. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm overre and making a big deal out of nothing or if I actually have the right to be weirded out or upset.
I think I might just start ignoring him though, last night at 2am he called me repeatedly untill I woke up. Once I was up I kept declining his calls so I could try to text him to see what he needed. He texted mad telling me to stop hanging up and just talk. And that he just wanted to hear my voice.
No. 272146
File: 1532611143850.gif (719.65 KB, 400x225, 1532135688052.gif)
>alone at home, my family went in another city for a week for the holidays
>only working two days this week so I have plenty of free time
>planned to invite friends at home and chill at some point and had a phone interview scheduled, also wanted to go shopping because I didn't have enough free time to do anything these past few weeks
>suddenly became sick, passed out yesterday right before my job interview and right after, threw up and I still can barely eat
>the job interview turned badly because now my phone doesn't work anymore all of a sudden so I had to reschedule it and I'm sure I gave a horrible first impression for sounding like I was dying on the phone
>too scared to go out to do anything now, even going to the doctor because I'm alone this week and nobody can help if I pass out all alone outside (which happened to me a lot before and it's terrifying)
>mfw I thought I was finally healthy and that shit happens at the worst time possible
No. 272230
>>271938>>271862same here. for me it's my boyfriend and my father who didn't let me go. i graduate uni this fall and never got to do a study abroad. i always wanted to go to europe, specifically germany. i hate myself so much for it that i literally think about it everyday and if someone else mentions it i get super envious and fall into depression for like a week
and it makes me want to kill myself.
my boyfriend doesn't want me to go because he is very clingy and controlling, knows i love a certain country very much and doesn't want me there by myself. my father also is paranoid about letting me go to europe because he thinks i'll get sex trafficked ??? (like in the movie taken). however, he is completely fine with me going to (and i have multiple times before) a developing country by myself.
so instead i've been planning & saving for a trip to europe for next spring instead. i'm almost 23 and feel like i'm too old to travel and missed out on something great in life (studying abroad), so i want make up for it while i can. if my boyfriend and i are still together at that point i will go with him, and if i'm not with him anymore i will go by myself :)
No. 272236
>>272190I quit smoking cigarettes two months ago ( not long but it feels like an eternity in smokers days). Tbh, I didn’t even want to quit, but a coworker gave me an extra vape to try.
I’d recommend the ”juul” pen. It has a similar bite as a cigarette, with about 80% less chemicals. It’s not the healthiest alternative, and it’s not exactly the same feeling you get with a cigarette, but it’s a great bridge between cigarette addiction and freedom.
It’s pretty cheap too, so maybe give it a try anon! I wish you all the luck.
No. 272336
>>272332well good, you sound like a whiny bitch. it's super obvious you're young and have been dating him since hs since you haven't had the chance to fall on your ass and grow.
of course you're free to bitch, but you sound so bitter and entitled. own your decisions and be grateful for what you have or push to make a change.
No. 272340
>>272253Look up the human services or child protection office in her area, and say you’d like to make an anonymous report about the safety of a child.
Give them the details without being judgy. (Eg Say ‘engaging in unsafe sex work’ not ‘she’s hooking’ )
Don’t make the report unless you have no doubt that she is engaging in behaviour that will harm the child.
Tbh, if she’s not shooting up, smoking, and is using protection when having sex, and most importantly, once the child is born it is not exposed to the mothers sex work, she will likely not be subject to anything more than a parenting class. Seems inconceivable but the baby may not be harmed (at least in a manner significant enough for a very, very overstretched system to remove them)
No. 272373
File: 1532655752728.gif (449.2 KB, 500x281, giphy.gif)
I fucking hate my damn home. I don't want to be here anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy.
I got excited thinking I'd get to move out and live with my older brother or cousins but noo I'll be forced to share an apartment with my aunt, the worst person I've ever met. I just can't win, ever.
I feel so depressed I just want to sleep all day and be left alone. I almost lost a job interview yesterday. I'm just wasting my life, really.
No. 272375
File: 1532655948836.jpg (8.59 KB, 293x172, 4567783443567945232.jpg)
I'm going to have to break up with my boyfriend because I think I'm actually a lesbian instead of bi. It kills me on the inside because I love him and when we're together he'll say stuff like "I can't stop thinking about you" and other cutesy stuff I guess and I just…can't seem to reciprocate that anymore. We still have sex (only just came to this realization a few weeks ago) and it feels good, but I don't know how attracted to men I really am anymore.
No. 272378
File: 1532657551552.jpg (42.92 KB, 500x501, DbIFd-IW4AYiIpx.jpg)
>after 5 evaluations with different doctors asking me everything about my personal life, finally get appointment to a psychiatrist (im in a shithole country idk if this proceadure is normal or not)
>see them today
>20 mins of talking
>20 mins of them telling me that if i see her as often as possible, plus two other doctors, i might get diagnosed in about a month at the very least
>mfw i don't know how many more doctors i'm supposed to tell that i was raped and bullied my entire life till a bitch gets a diagnosis
No. 272384
>>272383Go back home to your family, take the kids too. Leave now and don't feel ashamed. He will work on himself if he wants his happy life back.
If family isn't an option then just slowly build a savings until you can leave. You can do this though
No. 272391
every couple of months i get super suicidal for no reason. about two months ago i got super suicidal, but didn't do anything as usual. but now i'm going to psychiatrist over this
>>272378 , but i don't feel suicidal anymore. i feel like a faker but it gets really bad and then it just goes away. one of the docs said i might be bipolar. which makes some sense but at the same time i don't feel suicidal
right now and they keep asking questions about my depression and suicidal thoughts but they're gone now and idk even know what to tell em and they keep pushing about it but i'm blank currently and i'm scared its gonna fuck my diagnosis because i'm talking to them as if i was stilll in that bad place but i'm not and if i say i'm fine then theres no reason to help me.
No. 272440
i posted on a vent thread about a month ago, about my boyfriend basically making me uncomfortable with his relationship with another girl.
i left for a week shortly after this, and he went out drinking with this girl and her friends. he cheated on me and wasn't going to tell me. i feel so betrayed now. all of his/our friends knew, and not one of them was going to tell me. they were going to pretend it didn't happen to cover for his ass. i'm so hurt. i've had terrible anxiety my whole life, awful relationships (everyone i've ever been with has cheated on me), and i feel lost.
i've been going to therapy in hopes of soothing my anxiety. i would get so worried about my (now ex) boyfriend, i felt like i was going to push him away from how much i hate myself, and i was making a lot of progress in therapy and now i feel like i'm back at square one. two whole years of my life feel like a lie. he's not the same person i fell in love with, and i think that makes it harder to get over this. i feel like i can never trust anyone again. i don't know what to do from here. i have no idea what direction my life is headed, i don't know my purpose. he was the one thing i thought was a sure thing in this life.
and now…i just don't know. i see nothing in my future. my whole life changed because i left town for one fucking week to visit my dying grandpa. i'm glad that this happened now and not later, but it hurts so much. i know in my head that getting away from him is a good thing but my heart hurts so bad. i just don't understand how i can't ever be enough.
No. 272444
>>272443yep that was me! can't believe anyone remembered haha. it's awful cause it happened so soon after that. i feel like a dumbass.
i totally know i'm going to be better off–my heart is just hurting a lot right now. taking it day by day, i have some great friends to help distract me!
No. 272456
File: 1532674795562.gif (430.86 KB, 500x375, 7Ea.gif)
>>272440I'm so sorry anon. Your ex and all of his friends are gigantic pieces of shit. Like that other anon said he's not worth your tears but that doesn't mean you still won't be hurt. I've been going through a bad breakup too and all I can say is that you need to take this time to focus on yourself. Embrace your emotions and allow yourself to feel bad, but let yourself be happy too. Try to find a healthy balance of distraction as well as processing your emotions. What are your hobbies? This would be a good time to really pour yourself into them. I would also recommend finding something new to do outside of the house. Go to the library and get some interesting books, volunteer at an animal shelter, go on some nature walks. Do something that breaks your routine. I hope you have some close friends that you can go to that aren't affiliated with those assholes either. Spend some quality time with them too.
I wish you the best anon!
No. 272640
>>272458that's the thing, we did talk about getting married. we did have plans for the future. and then i leave for a week and come back and my whole life is different, he's a different person. it's fucking crazy haha
>>272456thank you so much for this response it was very thoughtful and i appreciate it a lot. i hope you're doing well!!
No. 272834
>>272789same thing happened to me, i appealed and admited that i acted like an absolute retard but that i meant no harm. they lifted it and i'm very thankful because i did posted something super stupid. took a few days though.
what did you do anon?
No. 272843
>>272834I responded to some guy's bait from the kc raid. It was just the usual "muh women only like chad" nonsense, but for some reason I felt the need to have fight today.
Mostly because he insinuated short men can't find love and I love short men so much. I was t r i g g e r e d.I'll probably end up messaging them about it and promise not to take bait again.
No. 272941
>>272929These are all terrible reasons and can be rectified by improving your life. You can tackle each thing one step at a time. These are all tiny things. For example the job thing. Where do you live that you can't get a retail job? A good way in is at Christmas, there is always seasonal work and they are much less fussy who they take.
You can lose weight easily by just reducing daily calories. The thing to do is change your attitude about food. Think it's all boring and is there to provide me sustenance only. You can eat good and bad food if you want, nothing is off limits and it's all just energy. Don't buy foods you binge on. Buy similar healthier options. Your dog needs you and loves you and doesn't care about the walking.
Why are you alone all the time? Why don't you join clubs and short (fun) courses? You can spend time with people and maybe make friends.
With the therapy thing you could try online therapy? It is better than nothing. I haven't tried it but maybe something to try.
Also who cares about your ex? Remember men are devoid of any real emotion. It's like being upset about being rejected by an emotionless void. It's no reflection on you but a big reflection on them if you were treated badly. Plus getting another man is pretty easy now with the internet. Though I think you need to focus on your own happiness and not making someone else happy right now.
All these things you CAN improve on yourself and it won't even take too long. I lost 20lb in a year by just slight calorie restriction, no exercise and changing my attitude about food. Also look into ways to make yourself feel good, such as a new hairstyle, different clothes, cute accessories. Buy some cute art prints online and put them on the wall. Get a new bed spread, a new rug, try new beauty products and makeup. There are lots of ways to help your mind and body to be healthy and happy.
As well as losing 20lb, I was also heartbroken and a bit crazy because of a guy, and thing that helped me included: Learning about sociopathy and gaslighting techniques men use on women, adjusting my viewpoint on him to the real rather than the ideal that I created, learning about how women are treated by boyfriends and potential dates with stories online (such as comments on Instagram and dating screencaps) and also observing men you are not interested in online and seeing the patterns in their behavior. Sorry for the book but I want you to know these things can all be improved and it can all change within a few years. I also recommend hobbies and projects so you can learn and look forward to the progress as you improve in skill and knowledge. Choose something you already like and progress from there
No. 272958
>>272929you can change! shit might be terrible but it's possible to change if you try. I know that's so much easier said than done and cliché but it's true. have you tried going to a temp agency? someone there can help you get a job. also you're in university, even if it's not the best they have resources to help students find jobs. maybe there's some kind of work study you can do… at the library or cafeteria. I know universities have tons of jobs for students.
I think getting a job or more hobbies could help you, feeling stuck can be so fucking depressing. especially doing the same old same old for years…I totally get how you feel because I've tried to kill myself multiple times since I was a teenager. I still think about it a lot too. it sucks
No. 272997
File: 1532754438617.jpg (130.62 KB, 1024x758, 7385400706_0f8e470a29_b-1.jpg)
I'm really depressed tonight. For variety of reasons but the main reason is that I feel completely alone in the world. I live with my parents currently…but something is so wrong and different. I went away to college out of state for 3 1/2 years and came back and everything has changed. I honestly don't know how to articulate it but I feel as though my dad is a completely different man than the one who raised me. He is angrier, more bitter, he treats others terribly. It makes me so fucking sad because him and my mom are the only two people I have in the world, every day they get older, and every day I feel like they drift further and further away from me. And so then I avoid spending time with them, and that just makes me want to cry harder because I know that in a decade or two they will no longer be here and I will regret having these thoughts and not spending as much time as possible with them. I have no friends, I haven't had an actual friend in about 5 years, so my parents are the only people in the world I can talk to but it never helps anymore. It just makes things worse and they truly don't listen to care about what I have to say and it feels like everyone talks over each other and doesn't care about anyone else's feelings in this house. Which sounds dumb and melodramatic but it's just constant discomfort.
Something about this just makes me feel so heartbroken. I look back on my life even ten years ago and it's like my family was completely different and we were all close and we understood each other. And now there's just nothing there. I watch my dad get angrier, more racist, more hateful every single day and it just exacerbates my feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. I don't want to make this political but in a way it partly is. It's like I've lost my dad to propaganda, fox news, and conspiratorial facebook posts or something. And if I bring this up he just yells at me and threatens to kick me out. He knows certain things he says and talks about upsets me so he goes out of his way to say and do those things and he never used to be like that. He would never do things just to make me upset or uncomfortable. I just want to go back in time but even thinking about the past makes me so sad that I can't put it into words but it's the worst feeling I've ever felt.
I don't know what to do about anything. I don't know how I'm going to survive one more year feeling the way I do about everything. It's like I can't handle the smallest things without having some sort of crisis where I question everything and everyone in my life and I just don't know. sorry if this makes no sense/sounds pathetic.
No. 273030
File: 1532768544067.jpg (82.94 KB, 500x500, things will be ok.jpg)
>>272929As much as a website like this would have you believe otherwise, being a jobless fatty with anger issues and a student loan isn't the rock bottom that merits killing yourself.
Could you at least wait until after you're finished with your degree to declare that you're unemployable?
From one fatty to another: You either gotta lose weight, or stop giving a fuck what other people think. You can't be both fat and self-conscious or you'll never live your life or do anything. No wonder you feel like shit, sounds like you go to class, wake up, eat, go home, and go to bed. You should be able to walk to the park with your doggo without worrying about the literal whos that are judging you (not that they are or even give a fuck).
No. 273127
I'm trying to support my bff because she has been a lot through life and he family are a bunch of assholes and while knowing she has issues from all those experiences and trauma,I can't take it anymore
Last week she tried to commit suicide after arguing with the latest prick she decided to have a "relationship" with(it's pretty complicated shit)and while she claims she did this because of her general feeling of shittiness which I totally get,a part of me starts to believe she did this to "keep" him.I mostly believe she did this subconciously,but still I find this behaviour extremely juvenille
I havent seen her or talked to her much since her attempt,not only because a lot of shit went down during the week,but also because im very tired of this situation.It's different guy,same shit rinse and repeat.And this one must be one of the worst cases of guys she has since he seems "smarted and more charming" than other guys she has dated,and despite all that went down,she seems totally infatuated.I've tolarated lost of weird shit regarding to her crushes,but if it was someone I didnt know for half of my life,I would probably make fun of her sappy instagram posts and irregular attitude which is something Im very sad to admit to myself
From what I have gathered the dude is a manipulative jerk who is wants to hide his insecurities with a chill,know-it-all attitude.Only the fact that he made an account on a dating app after he broke up with his wife and hooked up with my friend must say enough
At this point they both seem to manipulate eachother willingly or not and the have a jolly of a time being together.I dont know what to do anymore since I pretty much promiced not to say much on my friend's choices after the attempt and I'm pretty emotionally drained.I've been overwhelmingly stressed by my friend's attitude the past couple of years and I got my share of issues too.I just hope she gets to go to the free therapy sessions I found for her(and hopefully will work for her) and finally realises how abysmal she acts and gets her shit together.I have been feeling distant from her the past few days and it feels like it's not the person I know anymore somehow.However this has been harmful to me too and I should stop taking her problems so personally
No. 273151
File: 1532801019664.jpg (15.67 KB, 275x202, 1479699012537.jpg)
>work at retail superstore
>new hire joins the team
>woman in her 50s with no experience but nice
>whatever, people learn on this job all the time
>teach her basics of job, it doesn't stick
>someone else tries, still no dice
>even more people after try to teach her
>still fucking clueless
>six months later, still asking questions and can barely manage the simplest of tasks
>still polite to her, but avoid her at all costs
>she tells people in other departments that I don't like her and I'm mean to her
>it's true I don't like her but I internalize that shit, I've never been mean to her
>learn she bitched to my boss because I had more hours than her
>gosh, it's almost like she wants to give hours to someone who is actually productive
>eventually bitched to someone higher up about how we don't let her do anything and no one taught her how to do the job
>THIS BITCH
>boss now has to babysit her and hold her fucking hand through tasks given to her
I'm so fucking done, I can barely stand her existence let alone having to directly interact with her. Everyone else on the team has to work harder because she can't fucking do anything.
No. 273157
File: 1532802935919.png (344.73 KB, 687x663, I Wanna Kill You.png)
>>273151I've got a similar trainee at my work, except she's rude, slacks off, and is a habitual liar.
It's kinda fucking tearing the department apart, because everything she does must be redone and we just can't seem to get on the same page about how to bounce this bitch. She's sucking up hours that our part-timers need for food money, we might lose good workers just to give this dumbshit "a fair chance."
No. 273162
File: 1532803909994.gif (982.65 KB, 500x364, 42e.gif)
Drinking alone on a Saturday night.
No. 273172
>>273167Holy shit, 40 kg is really tiny for a girl of average height.
For very short girls maybe it's possible, but don't say that anything above that is normalizing fatties lmao.
Wew.
No. 273187
>>273175Not really sad about it, I enjouy it, but I'm kinda ashamed I guess, I wouldn't want my friends to know about it. I mainly drink red wine.
I also have a tendency to drunk text which I hate.
No. 273191
>>273173Yeah, I need to be patient and stop assuming that my boss doesn't have a plan. I'm getting a big head and I feel that it's causing me to squander the trust he gives me.
>>273187Boy I know the feeling, although weed is my kick. I get all anxious about the volume of my voice, so I'll find myself saying the same thing over and over again, just trying to figure out how loud I'm being lol. Nobody ever says anything to me, which could be really really good or really really bad.
No. 273201
File: 1532811043016.jpeg (12.08 KB, 250x250, 969A4104-9714-46E4-9F9B-ECED38…)
>>273198Yes, because every anon on this site is the same person.
No. 273210
File: 1532813203788.jpg (40.33 KB, 500x341, http://41.media.tumblr.com/124…)
I have been in literal love with a bitch ass gay for YEARS, but I'm not interested on him let alone a relationship with someone, we are just best friends, I love him very much but I'm also sexually attracted to him.
It really pisses me off that he goes: Oh I'm so gay and proceds to fuck and date men only, but then he goes.. "anon I think I really like women.. there is this girl and she.." I want him to stop, idk why it makes me so angry, perhaps because I thought I was the only woman he has ever liked and I don't want my delusion to be broken?
Also the thought of him not being attracted to women always consoled me as one of the reasons why things worked out between us.
No. 273212
I actually wanted to reply to the anon who deleted her post, because I'm in a similar situation:
>gained 60lbs in the past 7 years (a good portion of it "thanks to" binging since I started Uni nearly 4 years ago)
>as a result my body is full of stretch marks
>no friends, horrible anxiety
>go to class and work, but never talk with anybody
>be stressed + sad = eat more
I eat a whole pack of potato chips nearly every single day (or rather night). I either "steal" them and other snacks from our kitchen (I still live at home) or even purposely use a bigger bag for uni so that I can stuff it full of food on my way back home. Sometimes up to 5 drawers in my room are just filled with trash until my parents are out for a whle and i can go and throw everything out. Even right now as I'm writing this I'm eating. Just the thought of not getting to eat makes me sad.
I'm tall and therefore naturally got stretch marks due to growing quickly, but I still remember noticing getting ones on my hips due to weight gain as well and thinking that I should at least moisturize more. This was over 3 years ago and I still can't be arsed to do so.
I constantly think of wanting to change my life, but I somehow can't. I just try and eat better etc, but never even make it a single day until I "quit" again.
Living like this has made me socially stunted. 3 days ago a very nice girl in my class talked to me and asked me something. I answered and immediatly looked on the floor again. After a while I looked up and she was still looking at me, waiting for me to talk more; she must have thought I 've had a stroke… On the one hand I simply didn't expect anybody being interested in me, but on the other hand, talking seems to get really difficult for me, because I'm so out of practice.
No. 273275
I despise my parents so much.
My dad is an emotionaly instable mild narc 80 year old that hoards his trash all over the flat, including what was supposed to be my bedroom, and believes in anything the internet says. His latest obsession is with a scammy kabala online "course", when I tell him that kind of shit is not real he acts like a toddler putting his head down and closing his eyes and screeching with a high pitch that he doesn't want to hear it.
My mother is a woman-child of 50 that thinks she's still a teenager, has an Indian online "boyfriend" that's so not a scammer and "really loves her",she means sexting, is incapable of providing for herself and ghosts me when I asked something she doesn't like.
I asked her yesterday about how come they bought an expensive ass bed when I was very little but neveer thought of buying me my own bed, I had to sleep with her 'till 18, after silence for 24h I messaged her it was okay if she couldn't talk about that but she didn't have to completely ignore me. Her response was that "I don't like to talk about the past and this is a very hard to digest topic", what a cunt.
Like it isn't hard for me to digest that even when there was money enough for it she never thought I needed a bed or room of my own, the bitch even used part of my savings.
I hate this, I want to have inteligent and capable midle-aged that are close in age and work in stable and sensible fields like teaching at the Uni or finances.
;_;
No. 273285
File: 1532830922515.png (264.61 KB, 651x554, huuuu.PNG)
>>273275>kabbalah>inb4 JEWSsounds like your dad might also be feeling like a fool and knows you're right about it being a scam. Still pretty immature though.
She had you sleep with her til you were 18? Was your dad in the same bed??? Sheesh sounds like Margo & Venus… actually your mom shares some similarities with Margo! Anyway, sorry to hear that anon
My vent is I have had a really long day (stressful work day, trains were late, caught in rain, slipped on floor, etc) and all I wanted was friends to hang out with but I don't have very many and only 2 that live near me, one of them is out of town and the other never responded but it's okay
Tomorrow's another day
No. 273290
>>273285He actually converted to a bunch of religions, Judaism included.
>Sheesh sounds like Margo & VenusTbh I avoid those threads because seeing the parallels creep me out
I hope you have a better day tomorrow anon, and maybe meet more reliable friends close to you.
No. 273300
File: 1532835528617.gif (1004.15 KB, 500x278, ABD7E02A-B829-41B8-BF7E-53BBB8…)
My family (including me in my younger years, not anymore thoughh) has always been overweight and borderline obese. 4 or 5 years ago my parents started keto to lose the excess weight, but they’ve stalled majorly because they can’t get it through their skulls that calorie counting is needed to lose weight. They believe that the keto diet is some magic recipe that means you can eat as much as you want and never lose weight. Anything that isnt meat, cheese, eggs, and a non-carb loaded cegetable is ultimately unhealthy and literally will CAUSE your fatness.
I lost a lot of weight my last year of college when I moved away and started eating less due to stress. I came back and everybody poked fun at how thin i got and joked about me having anorexia and going on a crash diet. when i argue to them about calories, they never have any real rebuttal when I told them I got down to 120lbs by eating instant noodles and toast. Whats the magic there?
They have such a weird relationship with food too. And I have to be the one to hear about it. Waaaaah we’re going out to eat as a family but i want my keto options! Every family dinner is to the same damn steakhouse or bbq joint. We can never experiment with new restaurants and if we go somewhere on my or my fiances birthday the whole time they are bitching about us fucking up their diets and how we are bad influences. I tell them they can just watch what they eat and still eat something good. Then they just condescendingly laugh in my face. Yet they are still overweight and have just been maintaining said weight for years.
The case of fruits is interesting. Sometimes I tend to binge when I’m upset. I still live with my parents but i still buy things like varied veggies,fruits, and high fiber breads for myself because I actually feel good eating that and not just bacon and spinach salads or whatever. When I binge, i usually go for the houses hoard of cheese and pork rinds. Gross I know. And thats how I end up gaining weight on some months. Binging on their ‘magic food’. But when I mention my weight gain, it’s all because I eat things like apples and bananas as snacks.
I’m the fittest and most athletic person in my family, yet everyone acts like everything regarding their stupid diet is 100% correct when they have no real evidence to prove me wrong. I’ve followed their stupid diet before and I still gained because i ate too much and binged out on super high calorie things like cheeses and heavy creams.
No. 273307
File: 1532840896746.jpeg (93.5 KB, 720x960, 2D1427D5-72D3-4110-BE72-3708CF…)
>>273300My BIL and his gf came over the other night going on about how they start keto next week and saying it’s gonna be so hard to eat healthy. Ten minutes later this 1000 kilo/165cm girl shares a Pinterest recipe for keto fat bombs she’s gonna start snacking on.
Things are about as calorie dense as a chocolate truffle.
I pipe up cause I’m an idiot and say it’s all just calories etc and they just give me death stares and start in about how they’ll starve.
Ten minutes later, they’re complaining that there’s no ice cream for the pudding and looking up bacon based breakfasts for their “diet”
No. 273316
File: 1532844795117.gif (2.88 MB, 500x277, 3D64C93B-A2AA-4405-886F-7DE478…)
In an LDR atm and havent seen my SO since December. We won’t be together again until November or December this year and its really eating at me lately and I’m getting so damn sentimental about everything. I’ve been nannying for a nearby family, and have been watching the movie Coco nearly every day for the past week. The kids love it and its one of the few modern kids movies that i really enjoy. Mostly because me and SO saw it at the theaters and have good memories attached to that day. It sounds stupid, but the ending number and the song in the credis legit get me teary eyed because it all just takes me back to the things i took for granted like grabbing his hand and talking about whatever while walking through the parking lot. Its amazing how you can miss those little details when you cant physically be with them…
No. 273325
File: 1532847269254.gif (584.94 KB, 294x219, unnamed (1).gif)
>mfw i just wanted to see a movie with hot guys making out and ended up crying my heart out
My soul is empty.
No. 273329
File: 1532848457843.png (310.29 KB, 485x381, 7082a3edde4ddba2d2f5c35135d769…)
I relapsed now I want is more pills
No. 273331
>>273327Maurice, it's a rather old movie. The final scene crushed me.
There isn't a lot of hot scenes but young Hugh Grant plus male nudity made it worthwhile. Good story also.
And after that I saw a really old french movie where one of the boys ends up killing himself.
>>273326Never seen it, is it good? Looks like the screenplay was written by the same screenwriter of Maurice.
I'm looking for good BL movies but many of them involve tragic stories
pls no more crying No. 273333
File: 1532851391463.jpeg (20.11 KB, 390x280, D4FDC7AA-43AB-4E2A-8D30-572E48…)
>>273317It’s especially stupid because she was thin like five years ago and ballooned up from like 55 kilos to 100.
I suggested they eat 500 calories below their tdee and her exact response was ‘yeah but that’s like a big mac’
Wow starvation. Not my circus I know, but so annoying now that family dinners will always require some comment about the carbs in the potatoes whilst slathering greens in butter and salt.
No. 273371
>>273356Do you have a job or go to school, anon?
Politics and philosophy are both very broad subjects, so you should be able to find some parts of them interesting. The internet is free, and there are tons of resources that teach you about these subjects.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in your own self pity, you have to start making productive changes to your life. It's not very hard:
1. Find out what topics you are interested in.
2. Learn about these topics. It's not like you have to spend hours reading, there are tons of interesting documentaries out there.
No. 273383
>>273356Learn all about those topics and then you can see if your friends are talking out of their ass. Likely if what they say makes no sense. Don't confuse talking about something with being an expert at it.
>>273371This
No. 273535
>>273356If you can't concentrate on books, try audio books and podcasts. You can put them on while you're cleaning or cooking and learn things.
Also gaming is a time sink. IMO just find a better hobby. Literally anything else.
No. 273571
>>273301i'm also mixed and have similar feelings…
if you don't mind me asking, what are you mixed with?being a mutt has always made me insecure about my appearance. but i have never envied white women specifically, much less blonde haired ones. i just envy fully white people or mono-racial people in general. i feel like as a mixed person i've never had a community to run to for support, or a group who will fully accept me. i honestly just wish i wasn't mixed, or that my non-white half was something besides what it actually is… (of course that's just me thinking the grass is greener on the other side; every variety of mixed person has their own issues)
one thing i've struggled with in particular while being mixed is dating while having a racially ambiguous appearance. i've had a lot of guys (white guys, usually) be attracted to me because they assumed i was some ethnicity that i'm really not. but when they found out what i really am, they became less interested in me or even became disgusted by me. like every other race or mix is pretty, with the exception of mine and what i'm mixed with.
there's nothing wrong with having certain aesthetic preferences. but it's a shame that someone like me can't be seen as attractive without someone interrogating me about my background, and letting that determine how they feel about the way i look.
No. 273580
File: 1532898168853.jpg (244.93 KB, 1920x1080, assassin-s-creed-odyssey-ubiso…)
>>273301I'm not mixed (well, as not-mixed as a person from the Balkans can be, since our gene pool is all over the place anyway) but I have similar feelings about it. When I was young I was an ugly duckling, with giant eyebrows, a bad tan, a big nose, a mouth that was a weird shape. I eventually grew into it and I like how I look now.
However, women who look like me simply don't exist in the media and every woman touted as beautiful has Western European features with a tiny button nose and full lips, or at the very least big tits and ass, of which I have absolutely nothing. To make matters worse I live in a country where the majority of women is very conventional-looking, blonde, blue-eyed, and they get a lot of tourists coming here just to get a pretty blonde Scandinavian gf. Men from my home country included.
The first time in forever that I felt like someone considered a person like me genuinely pretty and not just a face in the crowd or an exotic stereotype is when Assassin's Creed: Odyssey was announced and people started complaining that Kassandra was "too pretty to be a mercenary". I was genuinely shocked that anyone would legitimately think that since I grew up with the belief that I was too hairy, swarthy and haggard for any man to find me attractive and that the standard of beauty where I was considered good looking died literal centuries ago, to a point where I even saw people where I live now arguing that people from my country used to look prettier, fairer and blonder until the Ottomans came and "ruined" us and that we're actually just some immigrant mutts that moved there afterwards. Yes, seriously (FYI: that's bullshit).
I just don't get why I
have to have light eyes and hair and a tiny baby nose to be considered pretty by someone. I don't think I'm ugly. I don't think my brown eyes are ugly at all, I like my hair, I like my nose how it is, I like my cheekbones and I like my lips. I like how my face looks, that isn't the problem. The problem is that some people seem to think that my looks are an issue that needs fixing, or something that Americans like to exploit for comedic effect. Yes I get it, xDDDD I have a big nose and a man face xDDDD. I look how I'm supposed to, and I just want that to be good enough for one decent person.
No. 273581
>>273540>just find it a whole other level of pathetic that they probably stopped targeting me because they discovered I'm "thin and pretty"Would it have made them less insecure if they carried on with their jokes in spite of you? It's probably because seeing your pictures made you more real to them and they felt bad for saying mean shit.
It would be pathetic if they had continued.
No. 273592
File: 1532900215101.jpg (21.7 KB, 300x300, tub-doritos.jpg)
Currently finishing up the last bits of my snack/candy stock since I want to eat healthier or at least like a normal person starting tommorrow.
I got an ED when I was a young teen and then spent the last couple years getting fatter and fatter, and more and more depressed; I literally waisted my entire youth because of it. I just want to be happy and feel like myself again.
I feel like this is my last chance, I failed so often already, wish me luck farmers!
No. 273593
>>273592Good luck!
Will you be working out too?
No. 273595
>>273593Thanks!
Yes, that (thankfully) will be easier for me, since I at least do enjoy running.
No. 273608
>>273167Hey that was me! (The skelly-wishing op)
It was pretty funny unless they were serious and are actually that stupid.
Farmers are regarded about weights. Loads of tumblr anorexics migrated when thinspo blogs were getting reported and all the ancient drama with a few crazy attention seekers obsessively posting themselves and each other in /snow/. The proana scumbags threads drew them in and they stuck around being hangry and stupid.
Judging by the comments posted about weight here, every farmer is either so morbidly obese they’re immobile or a toothless, hairless, anorexic lich.
No. 273614
File: 1532904811550.jpeg (33 KB, 625x350, 6E019D37-5036-4650-A044-00290A…)
I wish i wasn’t so terrible at holding a conversation. I’m so bland and hobbiless that I have nothing to talk about. And because I’m socially retarded I have no idea what to say in return. It’s even emotionally demanding making eye contact with people. I wasn’t meant for this world
No. 273620
I've managed to change my life quite a lot since last year. I've lost weight, started eating healthy, gotten into a hobby I enjoy and about to finish my education, basicly all those lifestyle changes I heard would improve my happiness, but here I'm still feeling just as shitty as before all this.
It just strikes me how life is completely meaningless, and all those things I've done to improve my situation are all in all just another distraction from that fact. Not a distraction like watching netflix all day and eating junk food, but still a distraction.
It's not like I'm planning to resort back to old habits because physically I feel a lot better. I'm not suicidal or depressed either, just very apathetic towards everything.
Life just doesn't feel like its worth all the struggles of maintaining a job, health, money, social life and all that.
No. 273621
>>273571I'm half-white half-Indigenous (North American). What are you mixed with?I've heard that from other mixed people before, about wanting to fit in with one single group. I can't say I've experienced it too much myself (until it comes to activism matters and I'm unsure if I should speak), but I can definitely understand where it comes from. Identity can be very important.
kek I've gotten the racially ambiguous thing a lot. People have read me to be everything from Lebanese to half-filipino. And though it usually gives me a chuckle, it also reminds me that I really don't pass as a WASP (the majority of people where I live) at all.
I think it's definitely stupid to stop being attracted to someone just because they weren't the race you thought. Unless it's due to stereotypes, it shouldn't change their perception at all.
>>273580That sounds awful, anon. I can imagine the place where you live is even more strict about what's considered "white" and therefore "pretty" than here. And I can identify with having the standard of beauty you could fit in with being long gone, it seems even men of (half of) my own race, or who are also mixed like me, prefer fair women whereas it wouldn't have been like that per-colonization.
If it makes you feel any better, I always thought women with strong features were beautiful. Striking in a good way.
No. 273625
>>273621>>273596Thanks for the replies anons, I'm currently dating a guy from home who's nice and didn't really come here to date for a change, and he finds me beautiful (or at least claims to) but his last gf of 4 years was a blonde local, as were most other girls he's dated here, and I can't help but compare myself to them.
The local women are strangely fascinated by my hair since there's a lot of it and they like the colour, and they're usually the ones who consider it pretty, but the men couldn't care less and either go for local girls or, from what I've noticed lately, Asians.
One guy thought I was French and was really into me until I told him where I was actually from. Then he lost interest when he found out I'm from a shithole with no running water in the evenings. So the whole 'muh preferences' thing is certified bullshit too.
No. 273640
>>273625Sounds like they are interested in your money, make up your life history in their head and then are brought crashing back to earth.
Quite telling that their admiration is contingent on external factors. You should do a social experiment by telling them different nationalities and noting the reactions.
No. 273807
been having weird health issues as of late like chronic migraines and intense pains all over my body. finally saw a dr today, where my blood pressure was 150/90 (it's usually 120/80 or below, as recent as 1 month ago). my dr was pretty concerned and ordered bloodwork done. the results are already in, 8 hours later, and i can't see my dr til wednesday. im dying of anxiety and ive been sleepless for weeks due to the severe headaches. i feel like death warmed over and im terrified something serious is wrong with me.
meanwhile my bf is being a total shitlord and flipped out when i asked him to unload the clean dishes at lunch so i could wash up, saying he does everything and is the only one who has a job etc etc and how stressed he is when i have crippling health issues and haven't slept more than 2 hours a night for a month, all i wanted was a little help for the housework that i'm too exhausted and fucked up to do. it's not my fault i can't get a job on my shitty visa, i would fucking love to work instead of being a housewife, i hate housework but i do it because it's fair. but god forbid i ask for him to do 1 thing when i'm sick. sometimes he's such a fucking crybaby, if he gets like 6 hours of sleep instead of 8 he'll just call out of work and sleep all day while im still expected to clean and shit on no sleep at all.
i feel so resentful and awful right now, if my health issues are bad enough ill probably have to go back to my home country for treatment because i have no health insurance here. sometimes i think it's for the best because im so lonely here. i'm in a shitty timezone so i hardly get to to talk to anyone online either. i feel so isolated like i have cabin fever and i dont fit in with the locals at all no matter how hard i try. i've been to a few meet ups and i just can't connect to anyone, even when we have similar interests.
No. 273831
File: 1532951355302.jpg (110.42 KB, 1280x720, 1532820918304.jpg)
Can Hiro stop fucking up 4chan for once? Jfc
No. 273868
>>273643Fuck anon, I came here to post the same exact thing. Dear lord it's driving me insane how people in the Momo thread are kissing their buttholes like they're the saints of cosplay bringing in the justice. Bunny and Susu are obviously faking their lesbian relationship for neckbeard bucks. Jane is cringy and an obsessed a-log who's obviously riding the whole drama to get her name out there despite being just as much of a tacky, trashy thot as Mariah is. Nana is a drama queen who can't cosplay worth shit. And yeah, it's so obvious how they're lurking the thread and posting there. They're all godawful people who should fuck right off, including Momo.
I hate all costhots and I don't care if they're calling out Momo, they're not getting a free pass from me. They're still fucking up the cosplay community and being toxic ass cunts, I'm glad they love to eat each other alive and can't stop fighting about who's more of a whore. I had a great laugh when Sabrina was caught posting to the Momoakuma thread and trying to get her name taken off the Calves of Momo list and when Nicole and her BF were caught posting about Momo before they started leeching off of her.
No. 273880
>>273868They all deserve to have a containment thread for costhot degeneracy and not just a calves thread for momo's offspring.
It has been a gripe with me too that Jane, Bunny and Susu all clearly come from the threads to frantically out Mooriah on Twitter/Instagram etc (especially Jane she is copypasta tier and has no sense of timing)
I genuinely find it offputting that pornmodels just parade around all ages cons because they have sfw booths or wanna have meetups etc. These arent people who keep a modelling job seperate from the cosplay community; they ALL directly promote themselves to the cosplay community for monetary support and exposure. Even companies sponsor these people while having
no affiliation with porn/lewd shit, yet Suzu and others wanna sit on the white high horse spewing words like 'Erocos' and saying how they keep the bussiness seperate from the coscom / cons.
No thanks.
No. 273939
>>273930Yeah, it's an account my mom set up so my siblings have an account and the freeloader is a relative my mom gave the login to. I'm trying not to be too angry because he wasn't to know it wasn't possible to change it back to an adult profile.
>And it was stuck like that for daysThat's so annoying. So you got it back? I ended up deleting my profile and making a new one, since the staff said that's my only option.
No. 273943
>>273939Yes, eventually we got the adult account back, because the brother switched back the settings when he was done. In the mean time I had to create my own account. The Korean childrens profile was funny for like the first 5 minutes, but after a while it just got frustrating and seemed passive aggressive, like dude we get it. Since that incident, my bf and his brothers have gotten in the habit of messaging each other when someone is using the account to prevent it from being overwhelmed and kicking us off.
I understand how frustrated you are about the freeloader too. Before I shared and account with my boyfriend, I was sharing my parents' account. I was dating a guy for a year, and after he broke up with me I realized he still had my login from the times that we'd watch stuff together on his laptop (he didn't have his own Netflix). There were movies and shows on my profile's history that me and my family hadn't watched, and I got this image in my head of him snuggling with his new girlfriend using my family's account. So I abruptly changed the password, which would have auto kicked him off. My mom called me and was like what happened to the account?? So I told her about him and she was pissed too.
Moral of the story, be careful who you share your account with and be mindful of who's account it is. Whether or not you're the owner it's better to just communicate & not fuck with settings or take advantage of your access to it.
No. 274058
File: 1532993222551.jpg (10.47 KB, 202x202, aggretsuko-202x202.jpg)
I don't have a car for two weeks because some girl rear ended me while I was at a dead stop at a red light a month ago. When I call her insurance to set up a rental car they never get back to me.
No. 274075
File: 1532994446524.jpg (74.41 KB, 720x413, locadelbebito.jpg)
I am from a third world shithole where we are discussing the legality of abortion and the reactions of people are anything but empathy. On the one hand there is the pro life movement that says dumb shit (many seem not to have read a book of basic biology in their life) and they put religion as an excuse to say things like: "the women who do that are going to hell" and things like that, and the other side are the left parties that put their politics and are disgusting misogynists at the same time (support the pimps). Both thoughts do not realize that thousands of poor women die because of these practices and that is what we have to talk about, but they prefer to talk nonsense and fight.
If I die without rights it is because of these dumbfucks. (Sorry, my English is not so good)
No. 274160
File: 1533001294238.gif (996.85 KB, 350x242, 1401371320974.gif)
I think some farmers who come into threads to tell other posters some mini-mod iteration of "STAHP POSTING!" are secretly also derailing and probably partaking in the arguments. Otherwise, it makes more sense to report the posts to let a farmhand take care of it. Telling farmers to stop posting/derailing/shitting up the threads never works.
They're probably too afraid to report the posts because they don't want to get banned too when they're guilty of the same thing.
No. 274184
My bf's mooch sister is asking him for money again and it makes me furious.
She thinks it's okay to ask us because we have a slightly higher quality of life that we STRUGGLE to keep up. We live paycheck to paycheck, and save what little money we get for nice things here and there.
Yet she swoops in with her food stamps, public housing, and welfare she gets out of having two kids while single and begs money from us.
Fuck her, seriously. She ain't working a 40+ hour week like we do. I'd bet Sodom she doesn't even work a 20 hour week. She gets government babysitting too btw, so it's no excuse.
We've got our own struggles and we're not rich, we're not even considered middle class. We make barely above the poverty line.
And I might forgive begging if she were putting in the effort to actually work and take care of her kids, but no. Her kids are going to be unsocialized brats because of her bizarre way of raising them re: never dressing them so they're constantly naked, keeping them in filthy conditions, and never setting up social play dates with other humans because she shuns anyone who she doesn't see as a piggy bank. If I knew her address, I'd call CPS routinely.
In the years I've dated my bf, she's never done shit for us. Meanwhile bf continues to humor her and the kids by sending gifts, money, traveling to see them, etc.
He's finally started to see the light though. I'm not going to stop pointing out how she only ever talks to us when it's when she needs something. She's never done shit for her brother, and treats him like a disposable daddy warbucks on tap.
Words can't explain how much I despise this jealous, opportunistic, greedy, lazy, entitled, bitch of a woman.
No. 274185
Recently I have come across this board:
https://8ch.net/agatha/ It seems to be an entire board dedicated to orbiting and posting photos of underage girls. This is disgusting. There are even nudes being posted onto here. Why the fuck is it so easy for people to make boards like these and why are they allowed? The types of people who post on there seem to be from the r9k scene or at least related. More reason why 8chan is fucking trash and so are "orbiters."
No. 274198
>>274189Yikes anon even if it was true do you have no empathy for the amount of grooming that happens because of these threads?
Most of LC is pretty aware of how the girls that do selfpost on the threads are lead into it with grown men who goad them to continue cause they don't instinctively know the horrors out there like we do.
Like
>>274192 says, in most cases those threads arent girls selfposting ala June, but targeted cause some nerckbeards unhealthy infatuation with these girls immedietly spews over to those boards and shit like fake porn is made of them.
Thats really not healthy for a young girls mind to see, even if they posted a selfie or not on there.
No. 274231
File: 1533017629696.jpg (24.25 KB, 547x459, 1451842452327.jpg)
I've been dying for the need to make a connection with a person I could be a real friend with. I have my LDR boyfriend who I talk to all the time, but I feel like I need to talk to someone else.
All I want is a real conversation with someone. I have maybe one or two online friends but haven't talked to them that much as they are busy.
And irl I want to reach out more, but I have limited opportunity to.
I feel like I have the scarlet letter but for friendless instead.
No. 274234
>>274212Child neglect is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse, but with neglect you might feel like it's your fault or guilty because your parents weren't "that bad".
You can't make your family look bad because they already are bad, don't protect their feelings when they didn't care about yours.
But I don't think you should directly talk to your parents about this… neglectful parents are emotionally immature and can't take any blame.
No. 274241
File: 1533021729393.jpg (23.54 KB, 736x717, 307fe1cbc3f86bd4ad83214e7de1d6…)
i'm just really low right now
>difficult class + lab all day 5x a week, then work open-to-close at sad retail job on weekends
>get into single-vehicle car wreck, ribs hurt like a bitch (but can't spare the $$$ to see a doctor)
>depression and mind fog
>no feelings of accomplishment or pride despite making A+'s and over perfect scores on hard exams
>studying takes longer than it should because focusing is difficult
>abusive boyfriend who doesn't love me but i can't bear to leave because then i'd be really, truly alone
>loss of interest in all of my creative pursuits
>wondering what the point is
the worst part is that i hate myself so i self-sabotage/don't take breaks/push myself to my limits just to see if i can. i'm up at 2 AM feelsposting when i should be studying.
No. 274246
>>274212Same boat as me, anon.
My mother was emotionally neglectful and a complete narcissist. She made my teenage years a living hell, she'd antagonize me all the time and take out a lot of the frustrations she had with her kids (teacher) out on me at the end of her day. I'd be blamed for everything based on her mood.
It wasn't unusual for her to start verbal fights that sometimes got physical that would last upwards of three to several hours. It was so exhausting, and she would never leave me alone in her rages. Often she'd go full circle and pick apart every detail of my life and every problem she had with me before coming back to the original topic she started screaming at me about.
Yet she'd complain later about why I didn't seem to have a close, happy-go-lucky relationship with her like the mother-daughter relationships she saw on tv or with her coworkers.
She'd do shit like read my diary while holding me back, never taking my side or listening to my perspective (ie. called me a liar when I told her about my childhood molestation); I grew up knowing I couldn't trust her. I hated her and felt so betrayed.
However, she'd gush over me towards strangers and brag about my accomplishments to make her look good. Meanwhile, at the home she'd treat me so awful.
She gaslights me about it today, saying how I was so "good" as a child and how she's proud of my accomplishments. In typical narc fashion, she only acknowledges the positive to feed her ego and completely ignores when I was supposedly at my worst, or if mood-permitting she does admit it, our fights weren't so uncommon or "that bad."
Because she gaslights me, I feel like I'll never be able to successfully bring it up without looking like the ungrateful child attacking my caring, albeit strict mother who clearly loves me.
It sucks, and I'm sorry you have to deal with these emotions as well.
No. 274252
File: 1533026809360.jpeg (39.01 KB, 592x392, hmmm.jpeg)
>friend invites me to rock concert
>discussing what we want to wear
>she posts a few dresses that look a bit stuffy and too formal for the venue
>say I'm not wearing anything fancy, just a black dress and some makeup
>day of the concert
>wear black lipstick and eyeshadow, the black dress
>take a selfie before I go, tag her in the status
>it catches some likes
>she PMs me
>YOU SAID SIMPLE MAKEUP
>?
>no idea what she was talking about at the time, ignore it bc I had to go
>we meet up and she proceeds to mention again how I said we should both wear "simple makeup"
>her makeup was kinda shitty
>play along to not further upset her, "o haha i guess I got carried away" tho I couldn't remember what I said
>after concert go back to read conversation
>realize she misunderstood me when I said I wasn't wearing a fancy dress
>but I never said "simple makeup" so idk where she got that from
I feel bad for her because I think she felt that I had purposefully told her to tone down the makeup so I could look better, but that's not what actually happened. Didn't mean to come off as a bad friend, but I feel like she totally misread that conversation and I took blame for it anyway.
No. 274261
File: 1533034305187.jpg (70.69 KB, 498x452, 1496690781331.jpg)
>>274234Thank you anon. Its true I often feel like it wasn't as bad as others situations, especially like anons story below in response to me. Its a difficult feeling because even though they are shit there were good times as well that can complicate your feelings. I think my relationship with my mom is way worse than my dad. She was quite selfish in a lot of ways. One was she wouldnt hold a steady job for long and my dad had to work so much harder so that we could live. Even then I grew up quite poor (only one persons income is rough) and am only realizing how bad it was. I read journals of when I was about 10 detailing about how we would only eat one meal a day. I asked my brother about it and he says he remembers eating condiment sandwiches.
Anyways my point was that because my dad was working so hard he just didnt have the time or energy to properly care for us and even though my mom was unemployed most of the time she was horrible at raising kids.
>>274246Jesus I am so sorry anon. Your situation was really awful. I had a friend growing up that had a full blown narc mom. Mine was not really like that at least with manipulative habits. I sometimes think my mom might be narc but sometimes not, its really weird. She did a lot of incredibly selfish things that affected the whole family. But again she never was emotionally manipulative to me or verbally abusive or anything.
I think my mom was a mixture of mental illness (she was diagnosed depressed and was taking meds for awhile when I was a kid) and maybe not even wanting children in the first place. She homeschooled both my brother and I, and me from quite a young age. But actually didnt really do anything. So I didnt have an education at all. I havent graduated and its something Im extremely embarrassed about. She hated driving us anywhere, even places like the doctors. I got really really sick at times as a kid from tonsillitis and I had to beg her for days on end to take me to the walk in clinic (im in Canada so medical expenses arent as crazy as the US otherwise it would make sense because we were poor af).
The sexual abuse I had as a kid affected me in lots of ways Im only recently coming to understand. I became very sexually promiscuous and had a lot of boyfriends and sexual relations in my teen years. My parents just didnt really care. I wish they could have helped me out more after they found out. I told them and they did believe me thank god, but nothing really happened. They talked to my brother and that was it. I became severely depressed in my teen years and was showing obvious symptoms. Later I told my mom about it and got help on my own and she said "I thought thats what was happening!" Like um excuse me… you couldnt reach out to me and help?
No. 274284
>>274281Not only /snow/, /ot/ and /g/ are also getting filled with dumb threads. Like the new international thread in /g/ already existed in /ot/…
And people asking dumb questions that make it obvious they haven't lurked more than 30 minutes too.
No. 274295
>>269962I finally lost the last of my friends, and it was more of a whimper than a bang which hurts.
>many friends move away for uni>stay home for local college and work to avoid debt>keep in touch for two years>even send and receive cute physical letters and postcards>gradually get less and less back>friends now heavy into social justice campus groups>now all nb queers>post rants on facebook all the time>didn't confront them, still talked like normal>haven't gotten any responses in months I guess it's all over, then. I'm finally heading off to uni in a different town but it really hurts to have no one to talk to that you know irl, even to send goofy pictures of things you see out and about.
>tfw still kind of in love with one of those girls>tfw I don't even know if I can date without still holding out for her No. 274338
File: 1533052755107.jpg (39.72 KB, 800x680, 1528477861265.jpg)
>>274308me too, anon. me too.
No. 274358
>>274345Thank you.
>>274356Yes, I'm straight, but I've given up on the idea to have a partner and I enjoy being alone. Being "fashionable" doesn't help because I always have a try hard vibe. I only look normal in plain clothing.
Though, I have another idea… to keep dressing feminine and pretend I'm a post-op transwoman. Ok, I'll stop posting on this thread by now.
No. 274442
File: 1533074170874.png (1.28 MB, 1098x1182, 1475407264963.png)
I returned yesterday to my flat.
We have been all away for a month and one of flatmates left a bucket of potatoes in one of cabinets, it's okay as long as I don't open it.
Tho it's been there for a month now and we're having huge heatwave now. Asked one friend to help me with it for a food, because I would most likely throw up before taking it.
It all makes me so nauseous, there is huge ice-block in the back of fridge so I also need to unfreeze it.
Reading about one family that died one after another because of toxic fumes from potatoes doesn't help.
No. 274446
File: 1533075024343.jpg (28.03 KB, 640x612, 1533040991089.jpg)
I want to get therapy/medication for what I think is depression, but I'm going on a student thing in Japan next year, and those with mental health issues aren't allowed to go. I would get online counseling, but when I signed up for BetterHelp, they basically sent me an email saying that I'm too fucked and need to get face to face counseling.
I can't really afford consistent therapy regardless though, the cheapest in my area is £50 an hour, and I'm saving for the money to pay for my Japan trip (£10k)
No. 274458
>>274446>going to study abroad Japan when depressedWelp that could either go very well or pretty bad.
Studying abroad is a lot of fun if the focus is not studying and rather going out with people and having a good time, but if you're going to attend actual classes with Japanese standards it could be tough, not to mention homesickness can hit hard.
I had a great experience studying abroad and I felt much happier and not like a worthless waste of space anymore by the time I came home, but at the same time classes were difficult and I was lucky to only need to pass a few to pass my semester or I would have not been able to enjoy it at all.
Sounds like a pickle of a situation, I hope you feel better before taking off.
No. 274509
File: 1533087185295.jpg (778.62 KB, 2048x1357, 1531300050720.jpg)
I'm highkey so upset, frustrated, and embarrassed about being a boring loser who's forever alone.
I just want to experience at least once being cozy with a qt long haired bf and cuddling in bed, watching movies together, having sex, listening to music, doing drugs, and feeling states of pure euphoria and calmness with him. Lmao I realize I sound like a reverse robot but holy shit am I touch starved and devoid of love.
No. 274521
File: 1533093049987.jpg (195.77 KB, 1200x1200, Di52EmSUUAAU03o.jpg)
Sometimes, I wish being THICC wasn't the new in
My friend constantly brags about how thicc she is by basically eating shit. She always brings down my size even though I'm quite comfortable with having a perky butt and being skinny.
I just don't want to be pressured into becoming thicc by a friend when i already get enough of that shit on social media.
No. 274542
>>274521The only people that call themselves "thick" are fatsos.
Don't give in to peer pressure anon.
No. 274544
>>274543No, my body is average and no one gives a crap about it. Stop projecting.
I just find the whole "thick" and "curvy" thing obnoxious.
No. 274549
>>274542No, just women with big thighs/hips/butts.
>>274521If you have a perky ass what are you complaining about? Your friend is clearly just jealous. You have the best of both worlds, I have no sympathy.
No. 274552
>>274544You were replying to an anon who was upset that someone was making assumptions and pressuring her to change herself, and you responded with something equally as judgey.
So have a seat because you sound no less annoying.
No. 274597
File: 1533115264044.jpg (Spoiler Image,45.96 KB, 500x375, qqq.jpg)
ate too much today, going to have a fast tomorrow or at least fast for most of the day
No. 274610
>>274597Because you'd rather eat a bullet than a burger?
…That's a good one. I ought to put that on a pastel shirt and sell it to you for $50.
No. 274618
I'm tired of thinking about how I look. If I'm skinnyfat, if I look old, if every man in the vicinity wants to fuck me, if my teeth are weird, if I'm built like a linebacker, if I'm making bitchface, if I don't look fashionable enough, if I'm not worthy of being around anyone else in the room, if my boyfriend checks out other women… I am just so fucking exhausted. I will go out feeling confident, only to catch my reflection in a window and feel like I should have never left the house.
I remember realizing in the 6th grade that I could be smart, talented, whatever, but it wouldn't be exceptional unless I was pretty. I don't even have more to offer. I hate having my photo being taken. I hate feeling this shallow and unsubstantial. I see 45+ old women grocery shopping in their sweatpants and simultaneously envy their ability to not give a shit and fear letting myself go at the same time. My clothes don't fit like they used to. I don't want people to look at me anymore
No. 274622
>>274610I lol'd. You lil joke cracker
>>274618> I see 45+ old women grocery shopping in their sweatpants and simultaneously envy their ability to not give a shit and fear letting myself go at the same timeThis is life literally slapping you in the face trying to tell you that life goes on. You need to get over this problem you have and still have to do mundane shit without getting worried about being dolled up. Something simple like going grocery shopping isn't a fashion show and no one is looking at each other in places like that, they're trying to get their food and go home. You shouldn't be worrying either.
Everyone goes through it whether they accept it or not, everyone's going to age and get wrinkly and saggy. Just take care of yourself (this includes NOT stressing out over natural causes, mind you) and age gracefully. Just because you're an older woman doesn't mean you can't look good. Everything's going to be okay, anon. You can't stress out over it forever and you won't. Days go on.
No. 274748
File: 1533144716039.jpg (12.68 KB, 246x374, tumblr_ls632xqjkp1qk4s2co1_250…)
Bf seems to have no idea people can see what he likes on instagram and he's been liking some fetishy stuff that I guess most people would find disgusting.
And now I have to find a way to tell him that without him realizing that I'm following him from an old sock account that I don't even really use.
No. 274764
File: 1533145920639.jpeg (4.36 KB, 225x225, 2I4OIUF OOF.jpeg)
>>274759
No shit you don't have a bf, you are an obese bundle of hate lmao.
No. 274926
>>274920I'm not sure what you're commenting but most of my comments are about actions, and not so much petty things like looks.
Nothing I comment is so unpopular that it wouldn't be unsaid outside the cow's echo chamber. If I feel like I'm starting to get into a habit of nitpicking appearances, then I just take a break. But even then some anons are right about the things they say.
I don't feel bad. Most of these cows do the same shit behind closed doors and it's proven. Never seen a genuinely sweet person posted mercilessly to lolcow. Ever.
No. 274930
>>274922I wouldn't say it's moralfaggotry because I don't think anybody is a bad person for posting here, not do I think I'm better or anything for feeling bad. And I understand the cows are shitty and deserve to have their shit called out.
I think I'm just weak hearted and don't have it in me to be savage and ruthless like some other anons (although I wish I was), and if there were other anons who felt the same.
No. 275107
>>275079Weird shit happens in dreams and that's fine bro. There probably isn't any deeper meaning behind it, sometimes two tracks of thought intersect in ways you can't control.
Like, I once dreamed that the Incredible Hulk/Jolly Green Giant had titties on his head and was shooting up this Lovecraftian mall I was shopping at. Can't really make it mean anything to me, shit was scary though.
No. 275128
>>271716I'm the anon.
Yes, if I raise my voice to my mother, they punish me very hard, even they have hit me for nothing.
I'm practically kidnapped, I can not do anything because I'm from Mexico and unfortunately my dad has the power to disappear me.
No. 275324
File: 1533239391680.png (350.65 KB, 1254x1711, 1533174457821.png)
It genuinely infuriates me that this woman now sits on the editorial board at the New York Times when so many other professional, polished writers and editors with the exact same credentials as her can barely earn a living wage just because they didn't make shitposting into a career.
I hate the new frontier of journalism. All you have to do is be a completely unhinged SJW, obese, trans, or make your race your entire identity. You can have public nudes and porn on your twitter, pictures of your menstrual blood and hairy armpits, you can air your dirty laundry all day and still get a fantastic job! You no longer have to be dedicated to honest, unbiased, fair reporting – forget about even bothering to be a fucking professional.
I realize she was only really able to get away with this because she's shitting on white people, but it's still extremely rude and tasteless behavior and if I was a recruiter or headhunter it would totally dissuade me from contacting or promoting her. Why is this behavior being rewarded?
Meanwhile, the rest of us are treated as chopped liver, just waiting around until half the newsroom gets laid off (again), or the budget gets cut (again), or we get sold to some shady, corrupt parent company (again), or the whole thing tanks because we're not le edgy enough.
I just can't with this generation of news media.
No. 275328
>>275288I would have called the police on you, you didn't deserve any of the staffs kindness.
And now you come here, acting as if it's an illness and that you're powerless against the urge to steal, even though your a grown ass woman and then mentioning a dozen times that you feel like crying - why should anybody pity you?!
No. 275333
>>275288I hope your klepto gets better. Are you seeing a therapist? You should before you get into trouble, you're very lucky the staff was nice to you.
Ignore the rude anons btw, yes your mental illness sucks for other people but it doesn't mean you're a bad person, however you should absolutely take steps to get better and stop it. And meanwhile, don't go into shops alone, only go with people who would discourage that behavior.
No. 275387
>>275328I didn't ask for pity, I know I'm a piece of shit that didn't deserve to get off so lightly, I just I came here to vent because after that I'm feeling a lot but obviously I can't tell anyone irl about it
>>275330>>275333Thank you, I'm really hoping that this is the wake up call that makes me kick it forever even though that sounds so fake, I'm just so scared that a few years down the line I'll fuck up again and never be able to get a job again or something. I can't afford therapy but only going into stores with friends is a really good idea, I feel like I never want to go in any store again anyway
No. 275402
>>275345 >>275333Stealing shit does not equate to mental illness. I'd love to see that in court:
"sorry your honor, i couldn't help myself, i'm a klepto"
It's pathetic. You are a bad person if you steal shit you don't need, and I'm assuming you're not stealing because you need to eat or anything like that, you're doing it because you're a dirty thief.
No. 275483
I know you could add some sort of hellish creature specifically designed to torture your very existence with its economy.
>>274353I have 2 other sisters and i hated it lol I've been using Windows for more artists to follow, post a few things.
No. 275534
I’m shaking as I write this, mostly out of anger and fear. But here’s a little back story to what I have to vent about. My grandparents have lived in the same house for about 30 years, the name under the house is my grandfathers aunt. I’ve spent every single Christmas/thanksgiving/Easter you name it in this house, my baby sitter lived next door I practically spent every day of my childhood in the house, just like my father. When my mom went homeless my grandparents let my siblings and my mom live with them. My mother and father aren’t together and have long been divorced so they really didn’t need to let my mom stay with them. Fast forward a little bit, mom moved out siblings moved out, I stayed. My grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer so after chemo everyday we would sit in the middle of the floor in the living room and watch friends, play monopoly, anything to cheer grandma up from what she’s going through. So as you can tell this house has MANY memories for me and my family. My grandfather has passed away in January of this year and after all the grieving and sadness my grandma has decided to remodel the house as a way to keep her mind at ease. She’s gotten some work done but yesterday she received a call that my grandfathers aunt has decided to sell the house and she must get out. This is where my anger comes in, how can someone be so greedy? This woman owns loads of property, much better ones than my childhood home but she’s doing this out of resentment towards my grandmother. I just wish there was something to do, I’ve been crying nonstop I want to help but I don’t know what I can do someone please just give me kind words of advice I’m dying for it
No. 275535
>>275534How the hell is the aunt able to decide to sell the home with people living in it unless her name is on the deed?
What country?
Most first world countries do have squatter rights and she can't just tell you to get out without certain procedures and deadlines.
No. 275536
>>275535Oh nevermind. I missed the part where it's under her name.
That sucks anon, I'm sorry.
It's not right to toss out an old lady who just went through chemo to the streets.
No. 275540
>>275539You should seek legal advise, on reddit if you must. All is not lost yet. She may have some sort of squatters rights.
You’re a good granddaughter. How old is your grandfathers aunt??
No. 275554
>>275541It wasn't worded exactly like that, but it did let people know what we were doing and asked for some general info from them in addition.
>>275544It's not that I'm worried about people seeing it, it's that I think my bf is embarrassed by it which doesn't make sense.
Although you're right, social media isn't the end of the world.
No. 275559
File: 1533260482640.png (441.93 KB, 1240x1016, 154427321872.png)
>>275324 here - So the New York Times just issued a statement in defense of this bitch and I want to scream.
How does this happen? Regular journalists who don't metaphorically spread their assholes on social media don't get special treatment like this. We can barely get hired, and once we are we're offered no job security and shit benefits. Why do you think all these publications (Vox, WaPo, the New Yorker, etc) are forming unions left and right?
Is there a reason why they're bending over backwards to defend this behavior? Any other news publication would have D R O P P E D her stupid ass like a hot potato. They even admit that her posts are "unacceptable," no shit - why does she still have the job then?
What sorcery is she using to get the New York fucking Times to not only defend her low-brow racebaity shitposting, but to
apologize on her behalf and elevate her to their editorial board?
Fuck her and fuck NYT, I hope this comes back to bite them in the gunt.
No. 275580
>>275572Because he's my bf. Why do people tag anybody in anything.
>>275579Well this is the vent thread, maybe I'm just airing some feels off my chest.
No. 275584
File: 1533264715963.jpg (120.28 KB, 1300x957, plshelp.jpg)
I fucking hate the mosquitoes. I can't get any decent sleep as of recently.
I wish they'd suck my blood and let me be, but nooooooooo, they have to buzz straight into my fucking ear and now this is the nth time I'm awake at 4am while I have to leave for work in a few hours.
Not to mention all these itchy bumps that I have now thanks to those greedy blood suckers.
If I could make a deal with the devil about getting rid of mosquitoes for good, I would do it without a second thought.
I want winter back ;_;
No. 275589
>>275554you're not really overreacting. the issue is that he might be hiding it. why these anons keep hyperfocusing on the "wHy dO yOu cArE aBoUt SoCiaL MeDiA sO mUcH??" is dumb af. yeah, i'd be worried tbqh. like, if your bf is hiding making your relationship public, that's sus as fuck, especially when social media is found to be like a major avenue for cheating.
but yeah, facebook and shit is lame. both of you should delete your facebooks. shit is like super unhealthy. what matters is that he shows appreciation toward you irl and shows his family and friends how much he appreciates you (all of which can be done outside of social media), but if he's deliberately hiding shit on his fb, that's cause for concern
No. 275608
i'm so frustrated and upset because i have severe math anxiety and freak out because of it and feel so incredibly stupid thanks to it, and it still plagues me well into my adulthood. does anyone else struggle with this? i used to miss so much school as a kid because my father was abusive and i couldn't go to school with black eyes and bruises so i'd miss literally weeks at a time, and my math teachers would always treat me like shit for not understanding shit after missing school so often, often acting like i chose to miss school or was skipping or something, despite them all being excused absences.
i was treated like i was automatically stupid, they'd publicly embarrass me in front of the class, all because i couldn't obviously understand concepts i hadn't learned yet, and with math, you obviously can't make progress if you miss steps/concepts. the problem was then compounded when my ivy league, up-his-own-asshole uncle would routinely call me an idiot, stupid, etc, for years, all because i would have to ask for his help and couldn't understand.
i feel so much anxiety and i can't even do basic math without my heartrate increasing and having anxiety attacks. i blank on tests and it has just affected my life so severely. it just makes me so sad that the abuse i've suffered affected me in every part of my life and has affected me so deeply. a lot of people used to tell me that school would be my salvation from the abuse, but people don't understand that when you're a child in poverty that's physically abused and scared of everyone, it can affect every part of your life, and you don't even have a parent that cares about you enough to not beat the shit out of you, let alone pay for you to get a tutor or something, so you just flounder in every fucking part of your life.
No. 275626
>>275622Lol, but he'll tag his location when he's out at a pub, with friends, etc. He's already told his major friends we're going.
C'mon anon, it's a little strange.
No. 275653
>>275651Anon 1
>I love ballsAnon 2
>omg ew you disgusting handmaiden. google "internalized misogyny", stupid libfem! No. 275686
>>275584>>275679>>275681Depending on what you're willing to try, eating matchstick heads (box strike only) has worked for me. You only need 3-6.
Sulfur acts as a natural mosquito repellant.
It's a trick a lot of military vets use and they swear by it, there's not enough chemicals in a matchstick head to do any harm to you. And definitely no more than the standard chemical body spray repellants.
I personally used it when I viewed the solar eclipse last year and I didn't get bit nearly as much as I usually did.
No. 275736
File: 1533292436638.jpg (33.51 KB, 1000x564, 8b53f341bf455dcad2173d7cfbfda5…)
I grow out my natural nails long and a little over a week ago I broke my pointer nail while trying to open my car. A single one.
I don't think anyone's noticed, but it makes my whole hand feel hideous to have this one random short nail.
I don't feel like cutting them all and starting over because I've had a pretty good grow this round, like none of the edges have cracked or broken. I thought about applying a tip but I'm too cheap to buy a whole pack at the store for something I'll maybe use once a year at most, and also too cheap to go to a nail tech so they can charge me $20 to fuck with my nails when I'm capable of doing them my own.
Idk i'm pissy.
No. 275749
>>275736That happens to me too all the time.
I cut all nails in this case because it looks nasty. Sometimes I just put a plaster over the short nail tho lmao.
Next time it happens I'll buy fake nails and just put them on one nail.
No. 275763
>>275748Not than anon but I have weak nails too and I used Herôme nailhardener for a while (the strongest one in a red box). Works like a charm but I kinda feel like it makes my nails break even faster because one bump into something and they break instead of flexing. But when I don't use it they just tear instead of breaking right now.
My solution as of right now is doing gel overlay (so no extension) to strengten and support my natural nail and help it grow out.
No. 275784
>>275734Why would anyone make a bot like that I wonder?
>>275736Same, just had that happen last week. And then later when you have to cut them short for whatever reason it feels weird af.
No. 275805
>>275794I've posted basically the same issues in the Unhealthy Obsessions thread, but since no one replied, I thought I maybe was alone. I'm glad that I'm not, even though this stupid jealousy/obsession really sucks. I know exactly what you're going through and while I think it's absolutely silly, I can relate sooo much!
I've used Tinder a lot for a while and I obsessed over every guy I met. Some of them were really lame, too, but that didn't stop me. Social media contributes a lot to this, because just like you, I'd check their profiles, see where they are/what they do and get super jealous at any sign of female contact. I continued hooking up, but still checked the other guys and only stopped when a new, really interesting one appeared in my life, because from then on I would simply e-stalk him/wait for him to meet me again. Sometimes I was crying over a guy who I was obsessed with one day, and a few hours + a hookup later I'd have forgotten about him. But the cycle always continued. I don't use Tinder anymore and I don't hookup right now, but I've hit my personal low by meeting someone from another country through online gaming. After texting him and talking to him every now and then (explicit conversations, so it's basically a digital hookup lol), I started checking his activities AGAIN and get so upset when I see that he's online and doesn't contact me. I know that I have to delete him because this is just ridiculous, but I'm too weak.
I think being really strict about contact and stopping yourself by e.g deleting him on social media is important. Sporadically talking to someone and checking their Insta stories definitely won't help and probably make it worse because you'll fantasize about him without being satisfied. In the end, he is just a hookup and not worth so much of your attention. Also, don't be like me and start embarrassing yourself in front of your hookups by being a clingy pain in the ass instead of the independent femme fatale you want to be.
No. 275811
>>275805I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one struggling with this!
For me it's exactly the same: As soon as a new interesting guy enters the picture, my obsession with the previous one stops immediately.
What makes the problem even worse for me is that I have a tendency to hook up with guys who don't live in my city or even my country (I seriously don't know why). Because I don't see them again for a long time afterwards, I always have a looot of time to stalk them and to imagine unrealistic scenarios that literally have NOTHING to do with the actual guy and his personality. I hate it.
Unfortunately I've already embarrassed myself really badly just like you, like I literally flew over to another country to see someone once and he stood me up kek.
No. 275824
>>275811>like I literally flew over to another country to see someone once and he stood me up kek.Oh shit, don't give me any ideas! I already see myself taking the plane to meet my new online gaming "love"… And it's true; especially with guys you don't see often, it's easy to put them on a pedestal. I sometimes even realize that they are not as perfect as I imagine them to be, but my brain always manages to dismiss that.
However, I don't agree with
>>275804, but I'm also not entirely sure where this comes from. I've realized that it's hard for me to just hookup because I always invest feelings (again, not love or serious interest) into everything and am very sensitive. I also enjoy male attention a lot. I love the brief period before the actual hookup, when a guy really tries to woo you. With Tinder hookups, this usually stops after ~it happened~ (even if you meet more then just once) and it's really hard for me to leave those exciting moments behind. The stalking (and sometimes embarrassing contacting) usually starts when I begin craving more attention and is fueled by me hoping that the guy will be all over me again. I'm also insecure and only had one very long relationship before trying Tinder, so I guess I also lack experience.
No. 275860
>>275824Please don't make the same mistake I did and travel to see him, I really wouldn't wish that shitty feeling on anyone lol
I agree that it probably has to do with a mix of wanting attention and insecurity. When I think about my current situation I think what bothers me the most is that he isn't giving me the attention I'm craving from him. He hasn't really reached out to me a lot so I know he isn't thinking about me like I'm thinking about him (I mean, why would he? It's not like we have a future together or that he even wants something serious in the first place). When I see him giving attention to other girls on Instagram I can't help but think, does he like her more than me? Does he find this girl cuter than me? etc.
Also I am a very sensitive person too, so that might really have to do with it as well. Maybe hookups just aren't for us?
I wish I had the discipline to just unfollow him and just not lurk… But seriously it's like an addiction
No. 275913
>>275860I don't know… I enjoy hookups and usually the crazy stuff just starts happening as soon as it is over, because the attention is gone then. I don't really want to give up on meeting guys forever, though. But my jealousy often mixes with anger, too, and I feel so stupid because I know that the guy I obsess over doesn't care (because yeah, why should he?) and is absolutely unaware while I'm suffering…
I hope you can find the strength to unfollow him. I don't think that it's healthy for you and strategies like blocking his stories didn't work as you said (I actually deactivated the activity on Instagram so that I couldn't see when someone is/was online anymore, but I always reactivate it because I'm weak). I'm really planning on doing the same. Wish me luck!
>>275898Do you guys like each others as friends or more? I think if it's a friendship, it's normal that these are "low-maintenance" sometimes and that there can be silence. If you're talking about a love interest, he probably isn't into you or not very much into you, because otherwise he would contact you more often.
No. 276037
File: 1533356794834.png (720.75 KB, 724x974, ffff.PNG)
I hate DDLG degenerates. I wish they'd all fucking die.
No. 276044
File: 1533363135037.png (1.21 MB, 960x960, 86973EAD-7263-465E-9E2F-0DBB01…)
>>276037Agreed anon. I had an ex boyfriend who was into DDLG and pretended to be a cat (meowing, licking, biting included). Now it’s hard to see images of cats without feeling a tinge of disgust
No. 276049
File: 1533364259605.jpg (24.64 KB, 506x960, 1495743124317.jpg)
My sleeping is so fucked thanks to my job hours.
>go in to work at 2pm
>don't get home until midnight
>can't go to bed right away sometimes
>try to go to bed but I always wake up around 1 or 2 am so it's like a nap
>lately staying up until 6,7,8am
>doze off around 9 or 10am
>wake up at 130pm
>repeat
I'm visiting my parents because my dad is fixing something on my car. I made the mistake of going to bed at 9pm. I woke up at 1am and have been up since. It's boring here to boot.
I just want to be able to sleep through the night like a normal person but these hours feel like my "evening" after coming home from work.
No. 276050
>>276049Go to bed later. I had similar hours and if I went to bed before 2ish I'd always wake up a few hours later and was unable to go back to sleep.
Force yourself to stay awake until then, and you'll sleep much better. I don't think we're meant to crash out as soon as we're done work, it's like we still have some adrenaline left or something that wakes us up a bit later.
No. 276066
>>276044I'm sorry you went through that anon but:
Top kek for most awkward ex-bf story I've heard yet.
No. 276104
>>276100The fact this board is anon rules out selfish self-promo purposes for engaging, maybe we've cracked the code for why anon interaction (between women and occasional larpers) is preferable to places with names and professions and shizz
Even in places like Twitter where anything you post can arguably make you look worse, all anyone is interested in is promo of their shitty self-brand
>>276097Which is always basically this
No. 276106
>>276097Have you tried checking out
>>266400we have a group for being weebs on line. We're pretty active anon
No. 276110
>>276106I posted in that thread and got no replies, and I joined the chat to lurk but it's literally 1-3 people chatting about their personal lives. As of now there are 14 people in the group, only ~5 are active at all, and I've seen
maybe 3 try to talk about anime less than a handful of times- but every time those same few members bring up their personal lives again.
Nothing against them personally, but if the group has a purpose then at least try to stay on topic? I turned off my line notifications bc I got bored listening to that one girl talk about herself and post her selfies. I don't even feel bad about never posting in the group, there's nothing "weeaboo" about it.
No. 276246
File: 1533415904377.gif (491.84 KB, 240x180, Vnv.gif)
Why does everything taste so shitty lately. I can't even eat more than two bites of my favorite foods before I get absolutely disgusted and put them back into the fridge. If I force myself to choke them down I get incredibly nauseous and panic. Iced tea is the only thing I can actually stand. I'm not pregnant and I feel okay emotionally so I have no clue why it is happening. I'm becoming scared to eat but I can't convince myself to actually go to the doctor because it doesn't feel serious enough
No. 276264
>>276246Google it first to see if there are some environmental causes that may be doing it.
Then definitely doctor.
No. 276316
>>276239i was a diff anon, i wish i had a gf lol
tahnk you for being kind although i don't believe what you say to be true
No. 276395
>>276384I’m in DC where it is legal! I even went to a rehab / trauma treatment center basically!
>>276387My parents are ordering it basically. They’re very old and very old fashioned but they’re also functioning alcoholics & primarily the reason I have PTSD in the first place.
I need their financial support to finish school so I can be financially independent without having piles of debt.
No. 276403
>>276396I appreciate your contribution anon but I hope you're wrong, I've heard so many people complaining about thyroid disorders and it kind of scares me. Funny you mention weight loss, if I hadn't finally given up on my retarded skelly aspirations last month I might've done the same thing as you. The fluids thing is
problematic given the current heatwave so I won't put it off any longer. I'm just bad at asking for help in general.
No. 276450
File: 1533458235247.jpeg (147.86 KB, 848x960, 24E370DE-F3E9-4E28-BFBD-C6D871…)
>>276435Agreed. Literally
every “trad” woman is in it for the male orbiters. It’s all a façade. If true “trad” women do exist, they’re amish.
No. 276476
File: 1533471884286.jpg (57.08 KB, 500x425, sad.jpg)
I had a job interview that went very well and I'm still 100% sure I won't get the job even though I'm perfectly qualified for it because fuck me I guess. I'm going on holidays next week, and if I get the answer and I don't get the job after all while I'm trying to chill and have fun I'll seriously cry for the rest of the year.
No. 276649
File: 1533507658601.jpeg (8.4 KB, 239x211, download (1).jpeg)
>going on international trip
>friend sends me link to cute shop list
>say thanks, bc I did ask for people to send me recs and thought she was doing that
>"So yeah. I'm going to need everything from this store. This keychain, stationary, etc."
>mfw she's just using me as a shopping service and I think it's rude
I don't mind getting souvenirs for people but…I think people could be a bit more subtle?
It's my vacation and ultimately I'm not going to stress over running around and getting people shit because they don't want to pay someone money to do it for them. And with what money? She hasn't mentioned paypaling me and I'm not fronting for someone I'm not super besties with. Lord, is this normal behavior? I'd feel like I would be imposing if I did this to somebody.
No. 276651
I'm nearly 23 and still haven't "found" myself. I have no idea who I really am and what I truly want. If I was a lolcow, anons would probably write that I'm a doormat who's got no personality of her own.
I constantly jump from one interest to another:
>couldn't decide what career to choose, currently study something I never thought I would do
My music taste changes so often, nearly daily: one minute I like kpop, the other I'm embarrassed by it and try to make myself hate it.
There was one band I was super into, I spend every single minute on them, the singer was my ultimate crush, but now I stopped listening to them completely. Music plays a big role in my life since it doesn't require me to go outside and have friends… just being on youtube and tumblr all day.
>I want to learn Japanese but am too lazy to do so, then I simpy tell myself that Japan isn't so great anyways and that I'd rather go to the US.
>One day I want to be cute like a Japanese girl, the next I rather follow Korean trends.
>I can't decide whether I want to be small and dainty like a ballerina, keep my skin pale or get a tan and spend hours watching exercise videos, deciding that I'm gonna get really fit and strong.
>I don't know whether I want to be elegant or youthful and natural.
>Should I get really active and go outside more or rather spend time doing artsy stuff?
In the end I always end up doing nothing.
Before some of you say that having many interests is great, for me personally it hinders me extremely, I literally don't get anything done at all. I feel like if I don't decide on who I really am, instead of always jumping from one "idol" to another and copying them, I will never truly get better and more confident. Any idea what I should do?
No. 276655
>>276649That person sounds rude af. Normally you'd ask nicely if it doesn't bother the person traveling, and definitely mention money if you're asking for more than just some souvenir.
Don't take shit from her Anon.
No. 276668
>>276651You don't find yourself through fandoms, despite what tumblr and Twitter may have you believe. Think about your ideal career or hobby. Notice repeated themes in things you like (sounds like cute stuff and pop music).
You could get interested in fashion or in going to gigs in real life. You need to explore the real world as grounding for who you will become later on. Moving through interests is normal at your age. And no 23 year old has found themselves. But there are clues in your interests which will lead you toward future passions.
No. 276743
>>276731Im middle Europe it's also been way over 30 degrees for weeks (or even months) now. That might sound not much to an Australian, but don't forget that our bodies need to adapt to climate as cold as -20 or even less degrees within a couple of months as well - something you don't have to.
Our grass looks like hay, the trees are looking dead, leaves start to come off as if it's fall already, we're simply not used to this, so even if it doesn't sound much to you, it's tough on us.
No. 276765
File: 1533543495574.jpg (361.87 KB, 1920x1440, rovus arctic cooler.jpg)
>>276553If you do not have A/C at home, buy yourself this mini cooler. It won't cool the entire room, instead put it nearby where you are. It cost me about 40 euro.
I'm a poor student from Yurop and I live in an attic apartment without A/C so this has been a life saver.
No. 276767
>>276762Depends where you are. It’s pretty normal in WA but not in Victoria.
Remember that the entire country isn’t hot. We have snowy mountains and pine forests and shit as well.
>>276765They can be really expensive to run. It’s not worth it if it jacks up your electricity bill to cool down a portion of a room.
No. 276769
>>276765Hey, I'd consider buying this.
Does it really increase the electricity bill that drastically like this anon
>>276767 said?
No. 276773
>>276767>>276769The one I used (rovus arctic cooler) doesn't use up much electricity at all, my electricity bill pretty much stayed the same.
Though again, don't expect it to cool the room, it can only keep you cool if you place it nearby. Definitely better than an electric fan.
No. 276775
>>276773Oh yeah and I've read since it's an evaporation cooler, it means it will work well in a dry climate but not so good in a humid climate.
Summer here are very hot but also dry so I have no problems with it, but anons living in a hot humid places might have.
No. 276797
>>276793The explore tab reacts to what you normally look at, including who you follow. If those are the things you open a lot (even if it's out of curiosity), it'll show you more of the same.
My explore tab used to be woke black chicks shitting on everything until I figured out what was the cause, now it's almost exclusively Japanese chinchilla and hedgehog accounts.
No. 276798
My life has gone to shit.
Elementary school:
>lots of friends, best in entire class
High school:
>was slim, got told to model often
>good grades, at least some friends
>motivated, learned 4 languages, read loads
>left home at 6.45 came back at 5, still managed to play the piano for a few hours, go to Karate class or jog, watch my favourite TV show, had a beauty routine and went to bed before midnight
Now:
>fat
>no friends, mediocre grades
>currently holidays, only work part time 3 afternoons a week, so lots of free time
>can't get anyhing done
>I'm a slob, I try learning Japanese for nearly a year now and still know barely any words, because I'm too lazy
>have 2 exams coming up and 2 papers to write
>haven't touched the piano in years, haven't exercised for a month
How do I fix this? I have so much time, but don't use it. I want to do so many things, but can't bring myself to do so.
No. 276800
>>276797I mostly follow sewing and baking accounts and open posts with books, cakes, or handmade clothes. I’ll open shit posts to use the show me less of this option.
I checked out the humour tag and I think that’s what has fucked it up. It’s a shit system.
No. 276801
>>276798Is it depression?
If not, you need to cultivate discipline and do the things you need to without motivation. Motivation is unreliable, discipline is as permanent as you choose it to be.
No. 276828
File: 1533565324615.gif (9.38 MB, 350x233, 85488699034.gif)
I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing but hear me out, I need to let go of this.
So my bf is 27 and still doesn't have a permit or a driver's license. His dad has been dead for years and his mom is a deadbeat who never stressed the importance of these things.
However, if you're wondering if he ever had the opportunity to save up for a car and get a license, yes he has. He lived with me and my parents for a brief stint after I was done with school and looking for a job. He made a promise to save for a vehicle, after turning down advice to just get a motorized scooter. Yet instead of saving, he had fibbed to me and my parents in order to move out early because he didn't like living with them (I partially agree because my mom is legitimately miserable and insufferable). In reality, he only saved for a deposit for our current apartment. This was about three years ago.
He's still saved nothing. Up until 5 months ago he worked at a bar that was a 10 minute walk away, but he was fired and the business closed. Now he works two service jobs; the furthest one is 6.9 miles away from our place, and the other job is 4 miles away from that, and usually another 4.5 miles drive home from there.
He's lucky to live so close, but he refuses to purchase a scooter still. I can't drive him and pick him up all the time.
He chooses to Uber. He told me as of a few months ago that Uber was costing him $400 a month. I urged him to get a scooter (they only cost $400-$500 used), but he didn't want to. Our friends offered him a cheap deal on one but he didn't take it. It's like he doesn't want to be seen on one.
This month he's been acting pissy, and it seems to be money-related. Last night I asked him why and apparently he's now paying $600 as of last month for Uber since they increased their rates.
He then said the reason why he's stressed is that I need to give him more money for rent to make up for it. My job is stressful enough, so I said fuck no. It's not my fault that he shirked off saving for a vehicle up until this point in his life and now he's facing consequences.
I finally said "So will you use the scooter if I buy you one myself?" and he responds "Well I suppose so…..but I just want a car."
Am I the only one who thinks he's being a baby about this?
Paying a one time $500 for the scooter and a helmet is cheaper than paying $600 a month for fucking Uber! I'm sorry if he thinks it's lame to be seen on one or whatever the fuck his mental holdup is (I seriously don't understand what's wrong with a scooter), but he can't bitch about money if he's being stupid about money.
Am I right about this? This whole fiasco is blowing my fucking mind.
No. 276833
>>276830He won't do it.
I really don't know what to do.
No. 276846
>>276828I agree with
>>276830 I don't see how a regular bike from Walmart would be an issue. 600 in uber? Df I take an uber to work sometimes (I'd say I spin about 100-130 a month which is fucking ridiculous to be honest I need to stop) but I guess that number would go up if I was using it every day. Do you guys not have buses or something where you live? That's what I use to get to work, but to be fair I have a permit and I am working on my license… but I'm only 23 so it isn't THAT bad. He's being a baby with this, tell him to clean up his act or leave him.
No. 276849
>>276846We live in a suburban sprawl so there's no public transport. Tbh there was some public transport where we used to live so I think that's why he put it off for so long.
Here, it's kinda hilly, and we're in the south so the heat right now and daily thunderstorms don't make it the most ideal for biking.
When we first moved to the area he did bike, but eventually he stopped doing it. He hated it because it made him super sweaty and tired. Now that he has had a taste of being driven everywhere, even if it means $600 a month, he doesn't want to go back.
I think he would have bought a bike by now if the money situation were that dire, he's just trying to make me feel guilty about this situation when I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. I've been nothing but supportive.
No. 276866
>>276862I'm so sorry, anon.
>And I can't say anything. Why not?
Not sure what situation consequences you're looking at. No. 276867
>>276866It's just not worth it. At best, I'll be told to forget about it or that I must be mistaken. At worst, I'll be called a liar and cast out of my home/family.
I don't really have any support system or people who would believe me, just online friends who live in different continents, and he's been supporting me and my mother for years now. My mom also basically WKs him for any and everything he does/says, so there's no point in going to her about it.
In a way, I think she actually tried to protect me by not letting me sleep in the same room as him since I was little. It obviously wasn't fool-proof, though.
No. 276868
File: 1533576541766.gif (4.25 MB, 768x432, anigif_original-8109-143733935…)
>>276862I am so sorry anon.
I wish you could come out and ruin his life. Too bad that those situations rarely work in favor of the victims.
I just hate when scum like this gets away with abusing others.
Your happiness is the most important thing, I wish you all the best and I hope that you will find peace
No. 276871
File: 1533577459811.gif (1.39 MB, 300x300, hug.gif)
>>276868Thanks, anon. You're kind.
No. 276891
File: 1533581564130.gif (531.99 KB, 500x275, JTx3.gif)
I just took another point and called sick from my call center job. Ever since they fired a bunch of folks and restructured shifts, the calls have been back to back. Today because of weather-related issues there were already 500+ calls holding according to coworkers on the group page. It would be like that all day.
It should have been an easy day, I even had a business meeting towards the end of my shift that would have gotten me off the phones. Although maybe if call volume were to proceed as is the business meeting is going to be canceled anyway.
I lied to my sweet manager that I was too sick to leave the toilet. I turned my phone silent because I don't even want to look at her text, if she does message back. Now I'm sitting on the couch hating myself but feeling relieved I don't have to deal with angry and stupid people today. My desire to avoid that place outweighs my conscience of being a liar at this point, I hate it.
Edit: Well maybe the toilet thing is a half truth. The call volume made me so anxious my guts are emptying on and off.
No. 276894
>>276891Is this the airline call centre anon?
I empathise with your posts as I work in the industry too (but at an agency). My work conditions and wage are pretty damn great (especially for this country) but I am still struggling as sometimes waiting for a phone call is unbearable due to AVPD and anxiety. Sometimes I have to take sick leave due to being to scared to face the world.
I can't imagine how worse I would feel if our clients were not polite most of the time. It's still hard due to a lot of data needing to be processed by my depressed brain and having to speak with people.
I felt that I should quit but then I got a promotion and my pay is just too good too leave.
Much love to you, sorry for rambling about myself.
No. 276897
>>276894Y-yes. Thank you for the kind words and understanding, anon. It feels a bit silly that my posts are becoming so identifiable, but I figure it's better to vent anonymously about these things.
I've thought about leaving to agencies, I've heard some of them are great and the pay is better.
No. 276902
>>276897I know that a lot of people I work with used to work at airline call center and it was madness inducing. I think it will be easy for you to move to an agency especially if you already know the booking system that they use (and if not, knowing any is a plus and they will train you).
I (very rarely) get annoyed at airline agents that refuse to help us with involuntary ticket exchanges when we have to wait hours to proceed etc but reading your posts I can imagine how overworked you are and I am sorry.
Except for certain African airline which drops the phone on purpose all the time, fuck those guys lfmao. I have no idea what do they get paid for.
No. 276906
I used to have an eating disorder, it has been going on for the past 7 months. I was already skinny as is before it started but I guess I never noticed. I'd always just look down at my thighs and think "Those are huge! Do I really look like that?" Starting to excercise everyday, eat a banana and a fiber bar for the entire day, even sometimes I wouldn't eat anything. And after it all got really bad only then I noticed the change in my body. My skin started peeling, my eyes were sunken in, I was pale. And wanna guess what I did? Started dieting for acne. I even tried telling my family something was wrong, but they always played it off as if nothing was interesting to eat to me. That I was picky.
There was a time where I set a goal for myself that I wanted to see my skin stick to the bones in my fingers, that then I'd be happy with myself.
Ever since I'd actually realized what I'd done to my body, I've been trying my best to eat, stuffing my face until I'm full. It has been pretty hard because of how low I've gotten, I can't really eat much before my body starts hurting. I still find myself having those terrible thoughts off and on. And with my mental health declining it's harder to keep up with eating.
Everything I do just seems like a distraction nowadays and I find myself caring less about life. That's the truth of it.
No. 276924
File: 1533586422668.gif (927.84 KB, 500x250, giphy.gif)
recently made an effort to reach out to my dad in person because after years of us being separated by distance, I decided I really wanted to make an effort at connection and making up for my childhood. We still talk a lot and I was under the impression he cared and listened to what I said, but lately he seemed to not be being totally real about how he’s doing.
I actually went in person to talk to him (flew across the country) about how he’s doing and I was mentally getting excited like, yes finally, the connection I’ve always wanted and instead he made it really clear he has no idea who I am, what’s going on with my health (I’ve been very sick), and basically thinks that I’m a piece of shit. He narc raged at me, literally like Onision, about shit that is far from real (I haven’t wished him happy birthday for 10 years?). I actually couldn’t believe it was happening, he was spouting a completely made up narrative of our relationship and timeline and making me sound like a hideous human being when all I’ve ever done is try to hold onto a relationship he let go of when I was a kid by letting my stepmother abuse me and essentially forcing me to end his half custody because I was scared of going over to his house. I’ve never actually sat back and been like, “Oh my dad fucked up” because he was always held aloft as this hero in my mind.
I got home and he proceeded to continue to emotionally batter me for days, screaming at me all sorts of shit about how I need to learn how to be a good person and making up all this stuff that I had done wrong that makes no sense, like on repeat, and I don’t know why I kept picking up the phone except I kept hoping he would come to his senses or this was like a crazy dream. Like, I never realized it before, how could I not realize he was this person when I read about these people and their behaviors? Suddenly I’m understanding how much I’ve based my opinion of myself on pleasing him, and I was finally getting my shit together and I’ve spiraled down because this huge insane thing has happened and I feel sick about it and don’t know how to deal with it. Whenever another conversation occurs where I try to say he said something in a previous conversation, he starts telling me I’ve heard him wrong or I misunderstood him or that didn’t happen. Don’t blow it out of proportion. I start to not know what’s happening, feeling more and more depressed. He acts like everything’s fine and nothing is wrong, but keeps pulling me back into it randomly.
Suddenly all these family members are coming out and telling me all these stories about his behavior and what type of person he actually is, and I’m understanding a lot more about what happened to me as a kid and how he let it happen and he’s not blameless. But a part of my heart is holding onto him so bad and I hate myself and I hate that I can’t just admit he’s a piece of shit and he let bad shit happen to me and he’s a narc and he’s treating me like shit. He even went as far as to call me the morning after a night when I got really suicidal (I called my mom, she told him because she believed it might stop him) and basically he wanted me to reassure him he was a good person and validate that ‘nothing was wrong’ so he could turn it around and scream at my mom about how we were fine and she’s a bitch, she’s crazy, etc. He didn’t care that I was suicidal, literally he called me just to ask me if we were okay and then proceeded to tell me everything I was doing wrong again.
Sorry for massive post I’m just lost and stuck in my head about this and people keep saying just cut him out of your life, but even if that is what I do eventually I don’t feel like that’s what I can do right now or how to start separating myself from his influence or opinions.
No. 276932
>>276924Your father's a bastard narc–not that you needed me to tell you.
It blows my mind how you flew out to see him, yet he tried to gaslight and project on you anyway.
I want to assure you anon, that for all his verbal abuse, the reason why he's being so nasty towards you is because he knows deep down he's the one who done fucked up.
He knows he hasn't been there for you.
He knows he's the actual piece of shit.
That's why he wants to convince you that everything is your and everyone else's fault, and why he craves the validation that everything is okay between you when it isn't.
He's running from himself, trying to believe that what he's done isn't bad and that he's still a good person.
He doesn't want to admit he's a garbage human being, and so he'd rather throw his own child under the bus to satisfy his ego.
At least you recognize he's a narc, but I really feel you should take the final step and go no contact.
Even if you can't do it right now, you need to commit to doing that as a goal eventually. Or else you'll never be free from his mental prison.
I severed all ties with my narc dad when I was a preteen so roughly since ~2006. Even then I knew intuitively that well-adjusted parents don't treat their children so awfully, or pit their kids against another parent. I bet if I tried to reach out to my dad today, he'd treat me just like yours did. I refuse to give him the satisfaction.
Once a narc, always a narc. Please take care of yourself anon.
No. 277081
File: 1533626722744.gif (1.92 MB, 540x304, kumiko oumae.gif)
This'll sound petty, but I really wish the trend of liking traps would die already. The past three people I've liked thought I was worthless because I'm a female and not a trap. I don't know how I manage to run into 3 people in a row that all have the same fetish, it's like I'm cursed. To make matters worse, I thought maybe it was just some gross fetish that mostly only dudes have, but last person who I liked was a girl. It's gotten to the point where any image or meme with a trap in it ruins my whole day. It's getting to the point where I hate the way I was born, when deep down all I really want is someone that loves me more than anything else. I don't really know what to do to alleviate a problem that eats at me everyday. Maybe I shouldn't spend as much time in anime circles anymore, and I don't know how to cope with it.
No. 277089
>>276924That's really rough anon, I'm sorry.
It's completely okay and understandable to take some time to grieve the loss of your father (which is basically what this is). Do talk to a therapist or someone you trust about this if you have the chance. I think the only thing you can really do is to cease communication, and give it some time, and it'll get better, slow and steady.
No. 277090
>>276965Did you even read their post?
>financially unstable, >19>mental health is shit Please don't act on any of those impulses you're feeling.
No. 277110
>>277081>Maybe I shouldn't spend as much time in anime circles anymoreWell duh. Those people are so far gone inside their delusions they'll never realize "traps" don't exist. The fact people rejected you because you "weren't a trap" sounds like bullshit too, either they're mentally ill, or they just didn't want a girlfriend/you as a girlfriend and used the trap thing as an excuse.
Stop socializing with crazies like this and do something you love instead, maybe get around to watching something that has been on your backlog for a long time or something.
No. 277114
File: 1533638924106.jpg (47.05 KB, 200x420, 1531508892158.jpg)
>>277109I completely relate, I don't feel any sympathy for them either. All the rich people I know are spoiled and don't realize that living like they do isn't the norm.
>I know they have their own issues and whateverOften when a rich person tells you that rich people have issues too, money doesn't solve everything to make you feel guilty about your opinion, they mean that sometimes they feel sad about trivial shits that are often their fault or responsibility, not things like them having terrible physical or mental health or living or witnessing traumatizing things. It's infuriating when they do that shit.
No. 277137
File: 1533644617456.png (212.83 KB, 500x374, 1453336619497.png)
>>277121See that shit? That's what I'm talking about when I say that rich people say stupid shit most of the time.
Although I'm 99.9% sure that post was sarcasm No. 277140
I think I might have addiction to social media.
I was a very lonely and misunderstood kid which along with being tech-savvy led me to creating my own blog at a very young age. I would talk in it like I would in my diary about anything and everything, but mostly about my worries which I had a lot of, being a mentally ill kid from an abusive family. Basically I vented. A lot.
As more social media were introduced, I got on a lot of them. Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and everywhere I continued this trend of spilling my guts everywhere`and basically whining and complaining to be frank. I got some internet friends over the years of blogging, I never reached any type of popularity and the most following I have is 50 people that follow me on insta. It's about 10-15 people on the places I actually blog at. Pathetic, I know.
But over the years I got addicted to that feeling you get when you click the "post" button. I would create absolutely meaningless stupid posts or just post songs only to feel like I am reaching out to people, that I speak to them and socialize.
I don't think I have to say that I stayed a very lonely, withdrawn and awkward individual irl and I can barely hold a conversation in the wild.
I used to speak a lot on imageboards but I would mostly frequent male-dominated ones which are cancer and made me even more withdrawn with people outside of the internet because I thought all people were this edgy disgusting fucks, but that's besides the point.
What I am is completely sick of this lifestyle of continuously broadcasting every single thing that I do to others. It's conceited and in the long run rereading what i posted makes me feel worse because it's all sadness all the time. Regurgitating misery sure is not beneficial to my health.
So I deleted my twitter and blog too deactivated facebook since I don't even fucking need it, but now it almost feels like an itch, to write something and post something.
For fucks sakes, it's been 2 days without social media, I never even realised I am that dependent on it.
I want to be more self-reliant, I want to be stronger, I want to learn how to deal with my problems without requiring constant commentary and input from people around me that read my posts.
I guess it's really ironic I'm now posting about this here. But at least nobody here knows who I am.
No. 277143
>>277141Let's see. Twitter for minute stuff, tumblr for fandom stuff, personal blog for mental illness stuff, insta for random shit and facebook for trying to keep up with my social circle.
So I spread myself out pretty thin, but still came on very strong.
No. 277145
>>277140I can relate to being on social media a lot and barely having any followers. I did have mutuals on tumblr and twitter and we would talk on a regular basis but they all unfollowed me or blocked me for one reason or another so I feel like I should really deactivate some accounts and maybe keep fb or instagram to be able to contact friends and people I know irl.
>Regurgitating misery sure is not beneficial to my health.It's really not, some of my former mutuals agreed that spending so much time complaining about every little things online for years made them way more anxious or depressed than they used to be.
No. 277150
>>277147Funny you say that because the reason why I started distancing myself from my ex-mutuals and got unfollowed or blocked by them was similar. I was mostly posting and reblogging about fandoms as well and my mutuals became more and more interested in SJW stuff in fandoms, so they all left me alone when I complained about transbians, fakebois and immature children in fandoms who try to police everyone and everything. Before that I was a bit anxious as well because I grew very close to my mutuals when they were still normal and I didn't want to lose my online friends so I barely posted anything interesting. Good riddance but at the same time using tumblr or twitter seems pretty useless now that I barely have followers anymore and they don't even interact with me. And I don't feel like commenting on people's posts anymore or befriending anyone since you never know what kind of crazy assholes you can find online. Some of my mutuals I have are irl friends who barely use social media except fb so I might as well delete almost everything.
>two of my closest tumblr mutuals are ftm, etc.Honestly you shouldn't force yourself to still be in contact with them if communicating with them makes you uncomfortable because it feels like walking on eggshells. Doing this with my ex-mutuals made me distance myself from them anyway so there are chances that could be the case for you and those mutuals.
No. 277151
>>277150I barely search for people to interact with myself because more often than not I find assholes. I'm a sociophobe and have a mental illness that hinders my capacity to feel emotion and interact with others, so I don't even know how I got to have the followers I have because I barely ever give any feedback and the only way to talk to me is to start a conversation yourself.
I guess that's why I got addicted in the first place. Social media gave me an illusion of interaction, made me feel that somebody out there listens to what I have to say, made me feel that I belong and that I'm not alone. When, in the end, I am the loneliest I have ever been.
No. 277169
>>277151I think you'd feel lonely online even with a lot of followers anyway. I often see accounts with hundred or thousands followers but when you check their posts it's obvious it's always the same people who interact with these accounts because they're already friends and posts often have only a few likes and retweets most of them time. I also feel like acting like an asshole online or holier-than-thou is so popular that when you type like a normal person people don't really care about you. But don't force yourself to act a certain way to have more followers, it's not even guaranteed it'll work anyway or you'll attract other assholes.
Do you have rl friends? If you do then maybe you should make a group conversation on fb, skype, line or whatever and use it all to shitpost, it's way better. That's what I do with my friends, we use line and post stupid shit or just vent all the time, send links to things from social media and we actually have discussions that way because we're all sick of social media while still being used to using them.
No. 277183
>>277169The thing is I don't want a lot of followers, I think. With my constant stream of negativity I feel like a huge downer and a drain at other's people's lives. So I tend to self-isolate a lot, but it doesn't seem to work online, only irl.
I have a circle of people I meet on occasion and we have a group chat, but it's mostly quiet with occasional memes. I can't vent to them, I don't feel like I'm worth their time.
Just posting for random people on the internet always seemed to do it for me and I got too reliant on that.
No. 277373
>>277346Anon, flatmates aren't so bad. You can establish rules about personal space and ask them to respect that. Have a lock on your room door. If there isn't one installed and your not allowed to install one I believe there are removable solutions, like deadlocks with stickers instead of screws, etc. Have a food and drink stash in your room so you don't have to get out as often.
Keep applying to jobs. Apply to as many as possible. One is going to stick eventually. If you have to take a job that is a bit rubbish at first so you can get your shit together, take it and keep looking for another job in the meantime. You can also try to hustle a bit online for extra cash, like on r/slavelabor. If you have anything to offer, try websites like fiverr. If you can draw or write, try taking commissions.
You'll get through it eventually. Hang in there.
No. 277378
>>277305It wasn't a joke. I think i wanted to say it because I wanted to make people bad for being white. The person complaining is a "white-passing" half-Latino woman.
I think most people just want to worry about their own shit and not be bothered feeling bad about stuff that is out of anyone's control. These people are like church ladies who are always complaining about other people "sinning".
No. 277513
File: 1533685039093.jpg (11.07 KB, 264x274, 1438833539476.jpg)
>be me
>feel like writing and roleplaying again
>find active forum with high standards
>nice
>make account and start profile
>make small talk with others on site chat
>this place seems cool
>get message
>'hey anon, here's a discord with a bunch of site members'
>oh neat they like me
>join discord
>it's weird and kind of spergy
>feel like a cat trying to join a club for dogs
>just completely not the kind of atmosphere you would enjoy
>reconsider everything
>feelsbadman.jpg
The sad part is I probably still would have been excited if I hadn't been invited to chat, but seeing a part of the active community and how they interact is just a total turn off for me.
No. 277518
>>277513Lol
What kind of weird are they? Tumblr type or 4chan type?
No. 277582
My fiance and I used to have a rocky relationship. For around a year, it was at the point where he was just getting drunk and beating the shit out of me nearly every day. I left, I went back, and there have been only a handful of times he's hurt me since then, and I'm reasonably content with this being the future. He proposed, I accepted. I may be the biggest idiot on the planet, but I am happy with how my life is.
Something that keeps bothering me is a comment my mother made. During the time I had left him, thinking it was for good, I got very drunk at a bar one night and ended up randomly calling my mother, who lives thousands of miles away. She was understandably concerned that her daughter was apart from her partner drunk and alone in the middle of the night, and asked what was going on. I said, after never being open with her once about the ongoing abuse, 'You know, ___ and I have a somewhat volatile relationship.' She paused, and then responded, 'I would believe that would be the case for you, but he seems to have his head on his shoulders.' I was shocked into silence.
That comment has never left me, and I can't help but think about her differently now. I feel like she doesn't even like me as a person. She came from an abusive past herself, and then married my horrible father, and then she says something like that to me. The following day she asked me to clarify my statement, and I said I was just drunk and repeating something I had seen on Reddit (which was partially true). She got angry with me and said that it wasn't like I would tell her if something was wrong anyway; that 'I'm off drinking alone and not going home, ___ must be worried sick.'
I also know that he has texted my mother asking my whereabouts before. I don't even know how he knows her phone number. Neither of them has given me a straight answer about it even though I have tried openly bringing it up multiple times. I had gone and visited my mother in person and I looked at her phone and saw an open conversation with him on her texts. I was very upset and asked what that was about. She recently told me when I brought it up again that 'I could tell it wasn't coming from a possessive standpoint, he was just genuinely worried about you.' Again, astonished into silence.
It feels like the ultimate betrayal, a complete slap in the face. I don't want my mother to know that I am engaged to a man that used to hit me, prevent me from leaving the house, all the rest, but I also feel so deeply hurt that she would assume that I was the one at fault for a 'volatile relationship,' instead of a man that she has literally never met once in her entire life.
I deeply love my mother and want her to be happy more than anything, but I think about these remarks every time I talk to her now, and at random points during the day. I know that she's still traumatized and deeply effected by her own abusive father and ex husband in a way that will never leave her, and I understand her pain more and more the older and more mature I get. But it just breaks my heart to remember her saying these things to me, even though I know that it's my fault for not being open with her, and that she would rain fury down on him were I ever to tell her how much he used to hurt me – she's said that much herself. But to have her trust the good character of a man she has never met over her own daughter stings deeply. I may be overthinking this a lot, and I have lied and said everything is fine with us, but still. Fuck.
No. 277611
>>277109>>277114During the time I was born my parents had very little money (no beds, no doors, etc). Growing up I remember always going thrift shopping with my mother, my dad worked very long hours (sometimes up to 20). Even when I was a teen I never got any pocket money and this led me to believe that my family is rather badly off. Shortly before I turned 18 my parents told me how much my father actually makes and it's really a lot.
In conclusion: my parents were poor, but made lots of money really quickly. Still, they left me in the belief that we actually are poor.
Since I'm a student I work parttime. Most of our costumers are rather lower middle class, and guess what? they treat me like absolute shit. Most of them don't know I'm actually a student, they just think I'm a simple cashier and that justifies them looking down on me. One guy even told me that he works in a much more "prestigious" bakery than I do. I wanted to yell at him, tell him that I only do this for a short while and then probably will earn much more than he could ever dream off - but I didn't.
Most of the are fat, tattooed, pierced, smoking like chimneys, buying cake instead of bread, yet I know through my mother who works at the local school, that they don't even pack their children lunch. NAd the ones who do care for their children buy them brands, unnesccessary toys and candy - something i never got - despite being oh so spoiled as people like you love to claim.
So, what do you suggest? Should we just be forced to send you money or what? lol
I'm sure there are a lot of people in this world who'd be glad to be on your level. Some are starving to death and yet you're here, complaining on the internet.
No. 277622
>>277612The point of my post is that people who are poor can be just as shitty and that there are people who are rich but not spoiled at all and actually deserving of the life they live now.
Meaning, your hatred of strangers those exact situations you don't know is absolutely unjustified and makes you a horrible person.
>>277616I never said that I forgot what it's like and have no sympathy for real problems…? "Real problems", like being a disgusting useless piece of trash who doesn't take care of their kids properly? Giving your children love and time is completely free, anon, you know? Or the type of person who thinks it's okay to look down on people who have it even worse than they do?
I know people who don't have tvs, computers or internet, your life might be not exactly rosy, but quit acting as if you're nearly dying, that it's somehow the fault of people who own more than you and that this allows you to release your anger on us.
I'm not spoiled and free of any problems, you don't know me or any of the other "rich" anons here. My father might drive a porsche, but I don't have a car, because working retail still hasn't brought me enough money to be able to afford one. Should I hate my dad, because he has a nice car and I don't?
No. 277628
>>277622>The point of my post is that people who are poor can be just as shitty and that there are people who are rich but not spoiled at all and actually deserving of the life they live now.Everyone knows that so that was a useless post after. And then what's the point of "So, what do you suggest? Should we just be forced to send you money or what? lol" when it's because of shit like that when you know people complain about rich people saying similar thing all the time?
Actually you keep doing that with that post, so do you have any self-awareness? I'm talking about things like this:
>but quit acting as if you're nearly dying, that it's somehow the fault of people who own more than you and that this allows you to release your anger on us.We're just complaining about this exact same attitude that usually comes from rich people (not calling you rich, just saying that rich people say that on a regular basis without knowing any better). It's all in the attitude and you have a terrible one it seems.
No. 277629
>>277620That's so wild how you just assume I'm not living within my means and expect handouts. Poor people are just lazy and entitled, amiright?
Daft twat.
No. 277632
File: 1533725868961.jpg (58.31 KB, 598x403, the_devil.jpg)
I live in a cesspool of a country that is led by a corrupt far-right lunatic and it makes me depressed. Freedom of press is non-existent, as the government owns almost all of the media outlets. Switch on any tv or radio channels and all you're gonna hear is how the opposition's parties are actually terrorists, the EU is our enemy, planning to destroy „Christian values” and that immigrants are responsible for literally everything that is wrong with the country. The educational system and healthcare is a disaster and poverty is rampant, but instead of improving these, the government pumps money into other projects (like…building stadiums or tourist railways where there are no sights to see at all…wtf?). Meanwhile the PM’s family and friends are ’magically’ becoming millionaires overnight. I hate this shithole
No. 277633
>>277627>>277628>>277629Disliking anybody saying the following things about you
>I genuinely really despise rich people. >I can't take them seriously. >I don't feel any sympathy for them either. doesn't mean you're just "butthurt". It's just natural that I want to speak out against shit like this and defend myself against groundless accusations.
I never "owned anything nice", the only difference between you and me is, that if I were to fall really low, don't get a job etc. my parents could afford to help me out and I don't need to fear homelessness and starvaton.
No. 277638
>>277636>Should we just be forced to send you money or what? lolI mean this honestly, ths is exactly what OPs post sounded like, that she hates everybody who's rich and that she would have better use for our money.
>the only difference between you and me is, that if I were to fall really low, don't get a job etc. my parents could afford to help me out and I don't need to fear homelessness and starvaton. That's being a dickhead abut this? It's the truth.
No. 277642
>>277636Nah you just sound bitter. My Dad is extremely wealthy and so my family has notoriety just due to that fact. I didn't live with him growing up because he left my mum for a young woman as soon as he sold his first company. My Dad never settled my Mum's divorce until my brother was 18, 7 years later. My mum had to go back into employment to keep me and my brother feed bevause my father's gold digging wife wanted him to have nothing to do with us. The government gave me money to go to school and bus fare. My Dad's company meanwhile sponsored my schools sport team (the one I didn't even play for) and kids would steal from me bevause I had a rich dad. I got given my brothers old clothes we both skated so it didn't look too off. My mum would childmind for extra money and the kids would steal shit any expensive shit my dad sent in the post for a birthday. I was bullied at school by all these upper middle class kids (I went to a prestigious school purely on merit, whereas the kids bullying me got the lowest grades but went to the prep school). They all got money for getting As and bought cars. I was getting abused by my mother and robbed of the little means I had pulled together by my classmates and teammates.
Even today I work in a completely different industry to my father after working in uni for my degree, but still have old classmates message me every so often to congratulate me on the job my dad got me.
I went though a very rough patch and my dad floated me financially for a year through a lot of personal turmoil and strife due to his wife. His wife has even attacked me on social media for being spoilt. Some people have a stick up their ass about money.
People have no qualms about marrying rich but God forbid your born to a wealthy individual.
No. 277649
>>2776471. Sage
2. Learn to reply to a post correctly
No. 277652
>>277642But all the problems you have can happen to anyone, things like bullying can happen to any kid at school for any reason ever, sometimes for no reason other than the bullies being bored. Having abusive and/or neglectful parents can happen to anyone regardless of your wealth. I was really poor among other personal things that made life a little worse and I was also surrounded by upper middle class and rich kids because I was at schools that had great reputations and were located were almost only rich people can live and I would see kids getting a lot of money for having average or kind of good grades. I don't really see your point. It's sounds like your situation is a bit better now than before so good for you.
>>277643>Just because my parents are rich, doesn't mean I get a piece of that as wellBut then this post wasn't about you in the first place, unless I'm mistaken. It was about people who are in the same situation as your parents (so not you) and who complain about the smallest things like they only happen to them.
>And I refuse to let you shit on them.If your parents need you to defend them on an anonymous imageboard because someone complains about legitimate things then lol.
>>277647Don't say that, they legit start crying in front of their computer.
No. 277658
>>277646Or because
1. charities can only help so many people, and sometimes the difference between getting help and not fitting the criteria is something like $50 more in monthly income
2. People shouldn't be so poor they need charity to have a comfortable life
3. Filthy rich people shouldn't be funding charities out of the goodness of their heart, they should be taxed appropriately so that the state can provide everyone with appropriate living conditions.
I swear rich people are so disconnected from reality.
No. 277659
>>277654My Dad grew up in one of the most notorious housing estates in Belfast. His parents were dirt poor with 4 kids. His parents were able to send him to a decent school and he skipped a year. He worked as a binman during his years in highschool to pay for his uniform (and was able to get a lift to school most days).
He quit uni after a few weeks because even being a bin man gave him a taste of finical independence, he was able to spend his own money at the student union and his ma wouldn't have to know about his outrageous spending (2 beers).
He got a job in a post room and worked his way up. He also got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that shortened his life expectancy drastically. He's very driven and three companies later a very wealthy man.
He's instilled hard work into me. I suppose if my dad rather grew up spending his ma's money all day in the SU and keeping up appearances with his peers he wouldn't have made it out of the class he was born and I'd be content to play the system too and rest on my laurels.
No. 277666
>>277659My father too was very poor growing up. He had to move out and start working when he was oly 14, but he was smart and working himself up in the company he's still in nowadays. He starts work as early as 5 and comes home sometimes at past midnight. I
think he's allowed to complain about feeling tired or his back hurting now and then…
No. 277667
>>277654>We rich people are just like you guys we have a heart and suffer too!!! :'( >Lol if you're poor it's because you're shit with money xDDDToo accurate.
>>277658Reminds me of how celebrities started to all get new nationalities to stop paying taxes in my country because they were too "expensive" even though they were multimillionaires at the very least.
>>277659Good for him but nobody cares at this point. If anything I'm sure a bunch of poor people in this thread can relate to his story because they're poor despite working hard and are pissed that some stupid anons say crap like "if you're poor it's because you cant budget xD". Good for you to have a decent role model though.
No. 277747
File: 1533741214925.jpg (18.97 KB, 624x352, The.Office.S05E12.HDTV.XviD-LO…)
My landlord is a bit weird and I dread having to call him for anything. When we met up to sign the lease he started ranting about his ex cheating on him with his best friend, completely unprompted. I figured maybe he had a bad day and a bit too much to drink, and that he wouldn't do it again. I was wrong. Everytime we see each other, small talk quickly segues into long-winded and uncomfortable oversharing. Sometimes he also starts arm-chairing me through Freudian psychology. Again, I don't encourage it, it's all unprompted. He seems to be aware it makes me uncomfortable, but he can't stop himself, so he's increasingly grown awkward and self-conscious around me, and I really have to walk on eggshells so he doesn't start beating himself up even more. I'm kinda used to being an unwilling shrink but this is the worst case I've ever had.
No. 277864
>>277854I muted a few, but it didn't help much. The unfunny live tweets are what piss me off the most and they always seep through..
Virtually all of the posters were male weebs I should've unfollowed a long time ago anyways
No. 277882
File: 1533755874023.jpg (19.68 KB, 473x473, IMG_20180607_021110.jpg)
I've been talking to this guy lately and he's nice for the most part but I can't get over how unkempt he looks. It's not even because he's ugly, I can deal with average looks, he's just ill put together. I don't think I can tolerate that.
Why are so many men so bad at grooming themselves, it pisses me off. Clip your hair and exfoliate your fucking face. Put some chapstick on while you're at it. This isn't fucking hard.
No. 277943
File: 1533766909668.jpg (20.11 KB, 236x315, 3dd50ede5a0ce8acf3276a6801d4ea…)
>>277627i have rich parents and i know i'm really lucky for it but i have to watch my partner of 10 years endure extreme pain and sickness and very possibly slowly die due to illness. i've gotten roofied and thrown in jail for escaping being raped and being beligerent. among other things. you can't just buy your way out of trouble forever unless you're astronomically rich and all your problems have a tangible solution that can even be purchased. i know some rich people are spoiled and really do get butthurt at the slightest thing like you say but what i get annoyed at now and used to feel nothing but guilt about is that
1) people assume you can't have any real problems because they for some reason believe that lack of money is the only reason anyone ever suffers and that a comfortable amount of money can purchase away suffering forever
2) a lot of "poor" people, especially young liberal ones in my area, make nonstop comments about it, not just a once in a while comment about my house being nice or something normal like that, but scrutinizing any little purchase i make and pointing out the cost even though i keep it on the downlow.
yeah i know, wah wah first world problems, but i don't point out how lucky my friends are for having their health or having a healthy family dynamic or something every five minutes. my life is really lucky in some areas and my life sucks in some areas. it's the same with most people but the areas are different. yet a lot of people think that the binary is poor and unfortunate in every way, or rich and therefore has never experienced any hard times.
pic is a joke if it wasn't apparent
No. 277953
>>277582it honestly sounds like you're taking the justified anger and hurt at your fiance and taking it out on your mother, and i fucking hate my mother, so i'm not biased towards them lol. you've said yourself that she has NO IDEA about the abuse you've suffered at his hands, so even though it's annoying when someone doesn't take your side, it's not rational to feel devastated as if she's siding with him on abusing you.
if i was having normal verbal fights and bickering with my partner and my mom took his side, i'd feel annoyed, not devastated and betrayed and astonished into silence. those feelings are all coming from the abuse he gave you, and you know it.
also, if what he's done to you is worth you forgiving him and going back, why are you still feeling all these awful feelings about it? you can't have it both ways. either you forgive him and move on and therefore don't antagonize people for siding with him on any issue when they don't even know what he's done, or you don't forgive him and don't go back because the pain and betrayal
he made you feel is too great to allow. your gut is telling you what the better choice is and you're not listening to it.
No. 278008
File: 1533781117273.jpg (74.18 KB, 356x374, 1495003846584.jpg)
A random guy from elementary school asking for my snap is basically translated as expressing sexual interest right? Standard protocol is just straight out ignore? This hasn't happened to me before but im not interested in hooking up with him lmao.
No. 278010
File: 1533781572662.jpg (81.27 KB, 1024x683, audreyMain.jpg)
>>277642>People have no qualms about marrying rich but God forbid your born to a wealthy individual.this so much. i realize some people just hate all types of rich people, so fair, but so many people have laundry lists of rich celebs they adore, they have no qualms about gold diggers, but they hate all children of rich people no exceptions. even though that's the one group that can't do anything about it and didn't choose it. even joe rogan was trash talking them during his podcast, like wtf, you're rich and you have kids. you made them and you're going to assume they're growing to grow up to be little shits because
you have money?
it's a catch 22 because the types of rich kids willing to tell the world they're rich are usually the arrogant or spoiled ones. the ones who realize how lucky they are and don't want to brag or be douchebags keep quiet about it or keep it a complete secret, so people only know about the first camp and assume they're all like that, making the second camp even more afraid to bring attention to themselves because of the outrage.
we're not deserving of more or even the same sympathy as people less privileged than us, fucking obviously, but there's big difference between not feeling particularly sorry for someone vs straight up hating them because you assume the worst about them and assume you know exactly what their lives are like. it tends to make you want to defend yourself after a while.
No. 278069
>>278010Saying this as someone who complained about rich people, I hate the hypocrisy behind it too, because I always see upper middle class dudes who think they're poor I know irl shit all over people born into wealth (regardless of how smug they may or may not be about the circumstances of their birth) as well as super mega rich corporations while praising celebrities all the time, like the British royal family, Beyonce, the Kardashians, etc. I mean at least Beyonce is known for her songs, voice and dancing skills even though she was from a well off family so I can guess they're her fans at least and I know the examples are cliches but they don't see the contradictions between metaphorically licking the British royal family's assholes and shitting all over rich kids with several helicopters and designer clothes on instagram. And we're not even from the UK so why do they care so much. I feel like they have no self-awareness.
btw personally when I say I don't feel sympathy for rich people it's more like when you say
>not feeling particularly sorry for someoneI don't know how others feel about this or if they agree or disagree, but I don't really care.
No. 278087
my anxiety has been so bad lately. every thought in my head is a negative one and no matter how hard i try to stop the thoughts, they just don't stop. i have to try to distract myself constantly just so i can get a moment of peace inside my own head.
it's gotten so bad the past few days i feel physically sick. i hate myself, everything about me, can't even look in a mirror without crying anymore. i feel so alone but it's 100% my fault. it's because i'm pushing everyone away–i have no energy to pretend to be happy, to not drag everybody down. i just have no energy. i feel so lost in this big world.
everyone i've ever cared about has fucked me over. the only people that love me are my family, and i'm so thankful for them, but i'd give anything for a healthy relationship outside of that. every person i've dated has cheated on me. every. one. the last was the most painful, as it was my first very serious, two and a half year long relationship.
i feel like i can't trust anyone, i don't know what's in my head and what's real. i actually feel like i'm going crazy with all this anxiety. my therapist is doing her best, bless her, to help me but nothing is working right now. fuck i'm just so sad.
No. 278101
File: 1533804436756.jpg (41.98 KB, 583x509, 1520882039924.jpg)
I'm so fucking sick and tired of people using me as their punching bag because i am too nice to usually fight back, and of people treating me like i'm stupid for their own ego.
It's not my fucking fault you cannot even take a joke because your head is so up your ass, stop trying to abuse me so you can feel better about your shitty personality and further your superiority complex.
I'm over being kind to people who do not deserve it.
Jokes on you, you appear far more pathetic than i ever will, attacking someone who is kind and loving to you just to appear more "bad-ass", you immature child.
No. 278106
>>278104How very assuming of you, cute.
How is that abusive in any way?
I actually mean a joke, like, for example, in a group chat, everyone is laughing about something and they will be the only one bitching and sulking.
But yea, sure, so abusive.
No. 278144
>>278136Third anon here.
I agree as well. I am polite and generous because I was raised that way. But, some people think they can treat you a certain way. I can be just as bitchy as I can be polite though.
No. 278145
>>278087Oh anon. Maybe you’re at a time in your cycle when your hormones can make you depressed. Usually for me its between ovulation and the start of my period. I will subconsciously sabotage my life. It’s probably pmdd or something.
Either way. Take some time to do something nice for yourself. Go to your favorite restaurant or immerse yourself in something to take your mind off the negative thoughts.
No. 278156
>>278129I work for an indie sneaker store. I rate trainers personally (been well put off now tho) and thought it'd be a good fit work-wise but my god, there is something deeply irritating about being shouted at by an adult man over a dropped stitch or a bit of dye bleed on a pair of shoes made by kids in sweatshops
Adults pitching shitfits and tantrums over trainers.
I've been threatened with bodily harm and death cos some dick didn't get some pair of shoes
I've been 1* reviewed for "sighing" on the phone (I was out of breath running for the phone)
I've been called a eurotrash cunt, a piece of shit and other things over customs charges, because I apparently I am the tax department/government of every single country
I'm sick of seeing 100 thread comment threads moaning about the shape of a toebox, or the overall quality of the shoes
This is without going into the shitshow that is management and how utterly wank our employee morale is as a result
I leave end of 2018. i repeat this to myself every day (I have a 3 month notice period, as dept head, but am staying through xmas to train new staff. Then i am taking January off lol). I cannot wait.
Thanks for listening
No. 278167
File: 1533826532141.gif (508.62 KB, 442x258, 329CD769-9955-4CAD-BCDD-BC3E85…)
>>278156What a unique job.
I had no idea people could care so much about sneakers. Dropped stitches and dye bleeds? That’s a little out of touch with reality (you will have literal feces on them the moment you wear them).
I have worn the same sneakers for 4 years BECAUSE a child made them somewhere. I’m glad you brought that up. Too bad you can’t throw that at them.
>anon, this minute, minor thing here is fucked up.>damn… child labor amirite?? lol elbows ribsShitty customers are one thing, shitty management is another. You just can’t have both.
You sound very responsive giving them the correct notice and helping them train through the holidays. I hope you get a Christmas bonus. I hope you check out glassdoor where you can rate your employer.
No. 278180
>>278087 I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you can find some peace and more love :)
And I hope you find someone worthy of you who will appreciate and respect you. Life is sadly a random numbers game (I believe) and statistics can be unfair.
No. 278190
File: 1533832717680.png (200.34 KB, 475x538, hamtaro.PNG)
>Electricity goes out in most of my room, its been like this for 2 weeks and I can't do anything about it except wait for my dad to decide on something
>because of this it's hard to sleep in my room - it gets stupidly hot with no fan
>Find out I have some rotting in a tooth so I need to go to back to the dentist so they can drill the shit out of it
>accidentally break my new glasses
>no motivation to draw
>miss out on an item I really wanted online
>Post office is being a shit and not re-delivering an important package like they were supposed to
>Binge ate these last couple of days /been gaining weight and small new stretch marks because of it
>thinking about cutting again like a stupid idiot
This week has had no mercy on me
No. 278194
File: 1533833534416.jpg (27.04 KB, 500x426, tumblr_inline_p73cx3ba7x1stl91…)
for years now i've been struggling with frequent panic attacks and permanent depersonalisation/derealisation, but lately they've both been so severe i've been unable to escape constant fear. i can't focus on anything because my mind is constantly racing and telling me to escape. i'm losing all the weight i'd finally managed to start putting back on after years of disordered eating, since i'm having several panic attacks a day and am too anxious to eat. i'm 11000 miles away from my home country, and can't afford health insurance to see a psychiatrist, so i have to try to figure out how to do it alone. i tried self-harming again in case it might help and now i'm just embarrassed since i'm 26 and still doing this. i just want to feel real again, and not terrified.
No. 278195
File: 1533833569615.jpg (52.39 KB, 500x498, 1531775853090.jpg)
i wish things went right for me for once! i wish i didnt have this stupid brain, im fearful of everything and i dont understand my own feelings
im so confused about attraction, i like girl and i like boys i think, but that's not the problem
i dont know who to go for and not regret it in the end
i dont want to resent my wife or husband for not being one or the other
the feeling of missing out i guess
im in general afraid of men due to trauma, but i still make a effort to interact,though it makes me so uncomfortable
then i have this stupid brain, im not smart in anything im so terrible
i rather be alone! please dont let me get attached anymore! i dont want the burden anymore
i dont want to think about anything anymore, everything always contradicts itself
No. 278251
>>278240Lol I read it the same then seen your comment like “ya!”.
I’m sorry anons are feeling fed up with this life. I only hope peace will find you, and in this moment, I care about you all and wish you were happy.
No. 278274
File: 1533846265279.jpeg (299.25 KB, 1119x1948, 0971980A-1FCD-4551-A6A9-48A63E…)
>>278271China, Aus?
If you could change one thing in your life right now to make you happy what would it be?
What are u drinking?
No. 278308
File: 1533858706002.jpg (90.7 KB, 620x603, dog-hugs-lucy-x-620-603x.jpg)
>>278290I think you kind of can, once you know someone well enough. More intuition or instinct in some situations rather than literal thought reading.
>>278303Anon, keep going to your psychologist. You're definitely not feeling well enough. Once you know what's wrong, you'll be in the steady process to help yourself feel better. Don't give up.
No. 278474
>>278470Change your physicatrist anon or make a formal complaint to your psychologist or something. Believe it or not you will never get better if these complaints stay in an anonymous sphere and all your emotions get redirected to other things because part of being better is settling these kinda of issues. Especially since the psychiatrist comes across as rather unprofessional talking about how ~such a pretty waman will regrat her tawtoos!!!~ your psych is commenting on your body and acting like your feelings are set in stone(based on social norms too kek) as if this person didn't study for years to learn that our feelings are on a fucking spectrum and we're volatile creatures.
Sticking with shitty healthcare professionals is like being told you got cancer and get sent to your gyno for treatment, do you spread your legs and just slowly die of malpractice or do you say something? Stopping the procedure and getting the right help you need.
No. 278479
>>277672Seriously anon, why would you work 50 hour work weeks as a CEO, take immense responsibility of many other people in your position or study for 12 years to become a neurosurgeon if you ended up receiving the same salary as your basic office worker? Money is a great motivator and I believe it has to compensate for your effort. The Soviet Union tried to give everyone the same standard of living and it ended up with everyone being unmotivated and slacking off because in the end it wouldn't matter how hard they worked. Wage gaps are ALWAYS going to exist and the endless taxing of the upper middle class on income tax is shitty because the actually extremely rich people are always going to find a way to evade them. Even in the most socialist countries have filthy rich people with privileges. It's just how the human nature works.
The fact is that you SHOULD be rewarded for working hard and it would literally make no sense to pay McDonalds workers a $50k/year salary because it requires minimal training and responsibility and nobody would want to pay $40 a meal to fund their wages. Neither would it make sense to pay a lawyer 80k a year and give them a 50% income tax percentage because they would just become your run of the mill worker with less effort but the same pay. That's the reason nobody wants to become a teacher, you'd have to study for years and be responsible of a bunch of snotty brats and endure their parents for a mediocre salary.
I swear these same people demanding higher income taxes would screech their asses off if they got a job that pays them 5k a month but they had to give up 40% of it to taxes and settle for a lower middle class lifestyle.
No. 278488
File: 1533903955575.png (299.8 KB, 480x270, DB075382-732F-493E-B4AD-F66956…)
I fucking hate myself, my brain, my whole life so much. I’m haunted by a mistake I made a full year ago now because I hurt someone dear to me, to the point where I often have very vivid nightmares about it and there’s nothing I can do now to make it right. I apologised to them sincerely and they forgave me but I can’t forgive myself for it. I’ve been suicidal every day for nearly a year and a half (or more, I don’t know! I can barely remember the past year and anything beyond two years is gone completely) be it passively or actively and I tried to attempt suicide several times during May but kept wimping out at the last second.
My anxiety has gotten so bad that I can no longer leave the house alone for more than an hour or so - last Sunday I tried to go record shopping and ended up having a panic attack, vomiting in the shop bathroom, and almost passing out while waiting for a train home, and I feel like such a stupid pathetic waste of space. I worry a lot that I’m losing my mind and grip on reality and I’m nearly sure that if I started hallucinating I could be straight up diagnosed as schizophrenic, that’s how bad I’ve gotten (not exaggerating). I hate it so much, and I know I’m a huge burden on everyone I know because of it. I want nothing more than to die quickly and painlessly but there’s no way to do that here - I can’t get my hands on a gun and all nembutal sales are fake, I have no idea where to even start looking for legit sellers. it all just sucks and I wish I could go to Switzerland and be euthanised there, honestly.
It all just hurts so much. I have no enthusiasm for anything and no desire to get better, only a desire to die. I try not to ever tell anyone about any of this and I know I don’t even really deserve to be venting here but I figure doing it anonymously to a place where no one even has to respond is better than anything else.
I just want to fucking die in peace. I’ve been on this hell marble for two decades now and I want OUT.
No. 278509
>>278458Sounds like your family is just assholes. I cant imagine anyone in my white family making jokes like that about someone with curly hair. Some of us do have very curly hair though. So maybe it’s just not unique.
Hair is hair. Nothing worth mentioning or taking about. My family is utilitarian I guess.
No. 278520
>>278208>the same standardsDo you want a petit submissive husband to financially control and get sex from every day too? I know that I'll have to settle for something less than a reverse-traditional relationship and it pisses me off. I don't want the courtship to be typical either, I need to be the one to ask him out and I need to be the one to pay for everything all the time.
I think I'm feminine in other ways though. I enjoy fashion and animals, but I also want to be jacked and be a dominant breadwinner. If you're masculine in presentation but want to date men I'm sure things are even more rough for you.
No. 278562
>>278520Not to that extent, what you described is quite exaggerated. What pisses me off is the stereotype that men like nice women and women like bad boys. The thing is I'm not good at making first impressions and I kinda want someone to be patient with me until I start to be more comfortable.
Or, how do I explain, women usually have that thing where they "walk on eggshells" around men and men like it. It'd be nice of them to make sure they're not overly intimidating? About appareance, I'm not masculine but I also don't look "photoshopped". I wear normal women's clothes and minimal make up.
No. 278680
>>278603Hey, so a welfare check like this Anon suggested
>>278669 is a good idea.
Google your city + police department non-emergency line, and explain the situation to the operator. “It’s unlike her not to call me back, she seems to be very stressed out right now and I’m worried” would be fine. You can also request that you’d like to remain anonymous in case she asks the officer who called in a check (if that bothers you). Keep us updated!
No. 278753
File: 1533944122909.gif (181.84 KB, 226x224, 1533855412235.gif)
i wish i was an illiterate milkmaid and not an educated hybristophile living in this clown world
No. 278821
File: 1533959156335.jpg (26.85 KB, 508x524, 1533505848110.jpg)
>>278757kek. but seriously i gotta see a therapist about my obsession with a dead gay man
No. 278822
File: 1533959514963.jpg (35.06 KB, 1024x511, CMF7GXsXAAAdDIu.jpg)
I just looked at my boyfriend's browsing history and saw he's been jacking off to shemale porn. We both know the both of us look at porn, and sometimes we'll watch together, but in the past, whether we're watching together or he's watching on his own, he's always watched porn with real fucking women in it. I don't make a big habit of looking at his browsing history, so I have no idea how long he's been looking at shemales. Yeah, I know that shemale is a popular genre, doesn't mean he's gay (pretty sure most gay dudes don't watch shemale porn), etc etc, but I feel weird, disappointed, and creeped the fuck out. I can't even do or say anything about it though, because if he were to see the kind of weird porn I watch on my own, he'd probably have the same feelings I'm having right now.
No. 278871
Sometimes I wish somebody would have my back and make sure my shit is together instead of it always being the other way around. Just for once.
I'd been out of town for a company conference, and when I returned bf had done practically nothing on the chore to-do list I had left claiming he was too tired. Including things like doing his own laundry. Which was bs because I know he stayed up late playing games and watching porn.
Anyway, whatever.
The next day, we were due to drive out to my friend's place, which is one hour away, for her bf's birthday. I was to teach everyone how to make sushi, but our real plan was to surprise her bf with a trip to an amusement park the next day. We'd all spend the night and leave early.
I went out with a different friend to buy the sushi ingredients. Not long after, bf informs me he's staying later at work. It's a problem because I drive, he cannot. So he asks me to throw together a tote of his shit for the overnight, and then go get him from work. Then I'd have to drive him to a store to get swim trunks and finally we could be on our way.
Getting his shit together frazzled me because he had no clean clothes that didn't smell. I attempted to dig through his nasty hamper to find him boxers because otherwise he was about to spend two days in the ones he wore at work. I went to smell a pair and found I had stuck my nose into a brown shitty spot. He fucking left shit skids on the boxers because he either didn't wipe proper or sharted. I was so fucking grossed out I threw his smelly shorts and one of the shirts I use to sleep in into the tote and got out of there with the groceries.
What bothers me is that while I was so busy making sure all the sushi shit totes and his bag of shit were in order, nobody noticed my own overnight bag was missing from the pack! Even bf, who sat in the back seat, didn't notice I didn't have a bag. My bag was sitting in front of the door and nobody grabbed it. My brain assumed shit was good because my hands were full of stuff. And because I "had everything" for everyone else, I didn't think of myself. Nobody cared to think about me.
All anyone could care about was the sushi. And bf just wanted to make sure someone got his stuff together for him even though he'd known about this trip for weeks and could have thrown a bag together beforehand, just to be prepared. But no.
So, after making everyone their sushi (which was another disaster for different reasons but at least everyone thought it was good and were grateful), I had to drive another 2 hours to return home and get my shit. I couldn't relax or visit. By the time I got back everyone was ready for bed.
I want someone to care and make things nice for me like what I do for others. That's all.
No. 278909
>>278901Oh same actually. It's not that she does a bad job and she's a really conventionally attractive girl, but she's veering into too-heavy instathot contouring and it makes her look a lot older than she is. It definitely makes lines and dryness way too visible.
I don't plan on saying anything and I wouldn't recommend you do either. It's only a minor annoyance for us to see, but it's not really our business. And I remember when I was a teenager with shitty makeup, I'd get so offended and defensive if someone was negative about it. There's something about makeup that's just so easy to get insecure over, it's a sensitive topic and people have to figure it out for themselves
No. 278911
>>278898You realize doing that would only make OP a petty person? No one would pat her ass and tell her she's not a doormat you dummy.
She would be labeled the bitch unwilling to accommodate and souring the mood for someone's birthday. What would her bf do? Be dirty and smell for everyone?
That's not sticking it to anybody like you seen to think.
I swear some of you are socially braindead, I hope you're only throwing logic out the window because you like to nitpick.
No. 279048
>>279036My mom told me once I looked like a pregnant woman when I was 7, or when I'd return in a happy mood from a hairdresser, she'd tell me to stop acting like I was anything special when I looked like shit.
Or when I had a bday, she gave all my friends a cake except me telling everyone that I had to lose weight.
I always thought I was fat but when I looked at my old photos, I was no where near fat.
No wonder I became anachan. I still hate my body.
No. 279056
>>279036When I was 9 and started getting what, I know know, was the beggining of acne and tried to talk about the weird stuff appearing in my skin with my dad he said it was because I was so fat that it was starting to pour out of me.
lol the anorexia was sure great a couple of years later.
No. 279063
>>279059It makes me sad for humanity.
>>279056I’m sorry anon. He was probably a miserable unhappy fuck who had the shittiest life in his head, who lived in a hell of his own mental making.
People who are unhappy project onto others.
No. 279130
>>279036My mom called me fat multiple times and told me with a straight face that no boy would ever want a shitty girl like me. I was 15, skinny and already depressed and self harming. Well on the other hand she was right, I'm nearing my 30's and single due to trust issues and very low self esteem.
It still hurts every time I think about it.
No. 279274
>>278871get a boyfriend who doesn't shit his pants
I feel like that should not have to be said
No. 279326
File: 1534069224940.jpg (47.21 KB, 396x385, IMG_6337.JPG)
>my mother would tell me I was fat and disgusting frequently, told me I looked like a pig, tell me she couldn't tell if i was a boy or girl because of how fat I was, ate food in front of me and wouldn't let me have any because 'she had self-control and I didn't' etc etc.
>A lot of this happened when I was nine or ten
>fast forward, I'm now 21, regularly fast for over a ten days and have severely warped perception of myself, can't eat in front of people
>she now tries to act concerned about me and my eating habits
Doesn't understand why I hate myself so much and I'm so sick of it. I wish she would leave me alone.
No. 279329
>>279326Holy shit, are you me?
Also, how do you manage to fast that much?
I can only make it up to 5-6 days but then I just maintain an 800 cal diet on non-fasting days.
I'm this anon
>>279048I really can't stand looking at myself. I hate mirrors.
Sorry that you had to go through that, I really do understand the pain.
No. 279353
One of my friends is insufferable. She always tries to act as a 16 years old when actually we're much older just because she didn't get to experience the full ''being young'' and shit experience. Her overprotective parents and her incapability to understand that having fun, hooking up, drinking etc. didn't mean that we were terrible people made her so boring back then.
And now she has this kind of life, always wanting a guy to have sex, drinking until she almost pass out and it's willing to party every week, which it's fine, I don't judge her but she does judge us when we choose other plans.
Instead of telling us what bothers her she gets all passive-aggressive and tries to guiltrip us, which is kind of childish tbh. Last night, for example, she got mad because she met a guy and she was so sure he liked her back but he didn't. Me and two other friends were there with her and when we wanted to go home - almost at three am - she started to tell us how we don't know how to have fun, how boring we are (of course, she was drunk again) and that next time she'll stay longer if she wants.
I want her out of my life - and I'm not the only one - but when she's acting our age she's kind of funny and we have known her for more than 15 years, so we put up with it.
What pisses me off the most is how judgemental she was back them, always claiming to be better than us in some way, you know, the old typical ''I'm not like the other girls'' and now she's a try hard. Pathethic.
No. 279354
>>279048>told me once I looked like a pregnant woman>when I looked at my old photos, I was no where near fat.Fuck anon, that's so relatable. When I was still a child my mom said the exact same thing to me. She'd also pinch my "fat" or tell me to suck in my stomach. There wasn't a period in my life that I can remember when she
wasn't on a diet and it gave me a really fucked view of food. She did the same for me, tried to control absolutely everything I ate and created a list of "bad" foods I wasn't able to eat. Some were reasonable (like fast food and fizzy drinks) but some were just stupid like bread, fruit (because it has "sugar" in it?), tinned soup.
Unfortunately, it had the exact opposite effect on me. I figured that the only way I could get "control" over my life was secretly eating when I started to make me own way to and from school. So I started going for all the "bad" foods she taught me not to eat because they were totally banned and I felt deprived of them. I can usually go a week eating under 800 calories and then at the weekend I get the "What's the point? I'm fat anyway." feelings and binge. Beautiful cycle.
Like you, I realised that I wasn't overweight at all as a child, I was a completely normal bmi and now she's fucked up my metabolism and eating habits for life. I can't even imagine doing any of this to a child, it's so deeply disturbing.
No. 279359
My closest friend who I'm in love with and who I live with doesn't feel the same way for me. We talked about our "relationship" several times, and he always mentioned how he doesn't really want to settle down, or how one woman is not enough for him, and that he feels guilt when he thinks of other women. I always told him that it's okay and I don't mind, because I get these thoughts too sometimes, but the thing is, I stopped thinking of other people pretty soon after he became my roommate. I really want him to feel for me the way I feel for him. All I ever do I do from the bottom of my heart and just because I want to make him feel better and be comfortable, but I think that he may feel like he owes me something, therefore he has to do and say things in return (I helped him a lot at some point, and he mentions it sometimes, so he for sure remembers).
It's been almost two years since we live together, and the first year was hell for me - while living with him was something beyond my dreams, knowing he isn't as much in love with me as I am with him was ridiculously painful. It got me a huge depressive episode after years of remission, and I had to drop out of university partly beacuse of that.
It feels like his head is alwawys somewhere else. I know how stupid it sounds, but sometimes you just can tell when the person isn't really interested romantically. We sleep together, we talk about mutual interests, we never argue, but I look at him like the most loyal dog in the world would look at her master, and he barely looks at me, lol.
All in all - he really is the nicest, smartest and humblest person I've ever met and is the best roommate. There isn't so many people I can tolerate tbh, and guys like him are just rare. He is the first one i've ever been attached to so hard, and it will not be easy to let him go one day.
%%sorry for mistakes, english is my second lang%%
No. 279360
>>279355I know, I said 16 because that was the time when we all started to make plans by our own but she always had to ask her parents for permission (and I'm not saying as simple ''can I come?'', she had almost to beg them to let her go). We couldn't go to some places because they didn't let her and she was convinced those places were so bad and not worth going…
I know the main problem here are her parents but it pisses me off how she shamed us just to convince herself she was right and we were wrong. And now it's totally different, she trying to declare how boring we are because we don't want to do those things we already did back then.
>only do this around people who like that lifeI agree completely. The problem is that few people want to go partying on a wednesday because most of us work the next day and hangovers are so much worse at 27 than they were with 19 years. I can picture her saying how she has to work the next day too and she doesn't mind because ''we only live once!''…
No. 279381
>>279359Plain and simple, he’s not into you. You said it and know. Get a new roommate or a new place. Time will make you smarter and forget him.
Get a dog.
No. 279437
File: 1534095383949.jpg (24.92 KB, 400x400, 1520121729_Sad pepe.jpg)
i thought connor from detroit become human was very attractive (10/10, would wife) but his irl actor hs none of the charm, how come
No. 279470
>>279465I don't think it's so black and white. He's not being shitty because he is being transparent with you, but you're not jealous or petty just because you have these concerns and feelings.
Tbh I'm kind of surprised the type of guy who'd have multiple fuckbuddies would tell you about his condom usage, or even let you know other women exist.
However, you should protect yourself. And even if he fucks you with a condom it's still a liability. You can get STDs from other routes like oral.
If it's also making you feel like the second choice, then don't hurt yourself by keeping this relationship. It's important to protect your mental health too.
No. 279480
>>279474My experience was somewhat opposite. A frat president approached me and was on a fuck buddy basis with me while I was nothing like the typical type he would be chasing after. He felt out of my league and while I liked the attention it made me very paranoid that I was some kind of joke. The sex was amusing, but after awhile it made me feel like shit because he didn't want me to make public that we were ever hanging out, and it was obvious he was screwing other girls. I was just his flavor of the moment and I knew eventually he'd move on if I didn't.
I feel like a hypocrite telling you to cut it off anon since I didn't really drop frat bruh until I found my current bf. All I can let you know is that this type of relationship is super shallow and guys only do this as a self-esteem boost. They really don't care in the long-term and whatever issues you develop will likely linger longer than they will.
No. 279510
I'm lowkey racist and I feel a little bad about it, but I mostly feel annoyed that I can't let out my feelings about other races without being vilified. I'm not even fully white (part jewish) so I also feel like an idiot for thinking whites are superior to blacks, hispanics, etc. when white supremacists would unironically hate me for my blood. It's not even a self-hate thing since I also see jewish people as being superior and I'm just as proud of my jewish heritage as I am of my white side. I see the two as being very similar, though. I've had some really, really awful experiences with blacks and hispanics and I look at statistics and stereotypes and I'm like, well… no individual from either of those two races has yet to disprove those statistics and stereotypes. They're people who are gross and detrimental to society and I honestly just don't like them. I get so annoyed seeing blacks and hispanics and other ethnics victimizing themselves with stuff like BLM terrorism and totally disregarding facts in favor of their feelings and what the media tells them to believe and act on. I'm sick and tired of blacks and other precious ~*POC*~ being disproportionately forced into roles on TV and in movies so that studios can get their fucking WokenessTM card. If I'm being totally honest, I don't like looking at non-white people and I actually feel physically ill seeing them on screen. I don't want to see an ape-y looking chick with a white dude on my screen, sorry. It's nasty and unrealistic. I'm just so so so so sick of diversity being shoved down my throat and I do dislike the hate it's driven me toward. Like, I never felt any negative feelings toward other races until people of those races started getting uppity and making EVERYTHING about race. I didn't notice or care until THEY started this bullshit us vs. them mentality. And now that they've started it, I know which side I'm on.
No. 279575
File: 1534118205776.jpg (96.13 KB, 722x960, 2393579836.jpg)
Someone who I thought seemed very social and popular in my area posted this meme.
I know that even people with friends can have certain social anxieties and insecurities. Yet I don't buy that the person who posted this is really all that isolated.
There was an event they hosted just the other day which more than several people attended. No post on social media ever goes ignored. There seems to be public displays of validation from friends all the time, not counting what I don't see off the internet.
It almost seemed like the person posted this to get even more attention. It's like someone claiming to be poor and needing donations, while demonstrating that they have money at every turn.
I'm trying not to sound bitter because it really doesn't affect my life whatsoever. However I find this general trend of people claiming 'social anxiety' as the reason why they don't reach out to people and expecting others to do it for them as lazy. Friendships are a two-way street and nobody ever wants to be the only one keeping a friendship afloat alone.
There's been times when I've been the one who hasn't been attentive and for certain anxieties hasn't reached out, but I owned what I was doing and didn't expect that the other person should've picked up my slack. I've seen others as labeled stuck up, like what the meme says, and not rewarded with friends while they ask that even more people to initiate with them.
Am I the only one who sees this lately?
No. 279613
File: 1534129729775.jpg (91.11 KB, 588x768, crystal.jpg)
Every fucking time i have time off (from school, work), i go on a drinking/drug bender and i cant stop lol. Is it really that bad though? I mean, it's not like i do this normally. Normally i drink/do drugs once a week in friendly company. It's just when i have no committments, when im alone all day, that i need something more to stimulate me and keep me busy. Tbh i dont want to stop.
No. 279637
File: 1534135203838.gif (991.98 KB, 500x376, images.duckduckgo.gif)
My brother is my best friend in the whole world and he's about to move away from home. He's going to be a 3 and a half hour plane ride away, across an ocean. We've both been living with our parents up until this point and I'm already completely crushed thinking about how empty the house will be without him. He knows I'm pretty socially awkward and helps me with a lot in life and I'm so scared of what it'll be like without him there to talk to everyday. I just don't know how to handle this, I've put off thinking about it for so long but his move is getting so close I can't not think about it. I just bawled my eyes out over this and I know that's going to be happening a lot the next few weeks. I just wish I could fast forward time to a point that I've learned to cope with this.
No. 279644
File: 1534137504370.png (367.38 KB, 659x427, oh noo.png)
I've been having a string of bad luck with jobs these past few years and it's been really getting me down.
I quit my last job Friday, after just two months. They had me work as a paralegal, even though I interviewed for another position. I had no law experience.. The lawyer they had was available to help but he was a bumbling mess. I did really good at that job, my boss even said I was the best they ever had, but the pressure of figuring out legal shit without any help got to me and I burned out.
>mfw my boss told me to figure out how to file an out-of-state case to get 12 million dollars
>mfw it gets rejected constantly and wastes three weeks while boss's boss asks for daily updates
>mfw they decide not to hire an actual lawyer for this shit
No. 279646
>>279624Don't feel self consious about him following tan gym chicks on social media, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, nor does it mean he isn't attracted to you. And just because you are the opposite to those girls it doesn't mean you aren't pretty.I mean if he's commenting on their profiles then he's a creep, and it depends on what these girls account post pictures of. I do think he sounds like a dick and you should break up with him though.
I'm really high so I hope this makes sense.
No. 279652
File: 1534140047585.jpeg (4.96 KB, 252x200, tard alert.jpeg)
>mfw while eating in front of my computer with a cordless mouse I set the mouse into my plate of food like it was my fork and got sauce all over it
No. 279653
File: 1534140170738.png (876.91 KB, 758x566, Screenshot_5.png)
nearly 6 months ago, my (online) friend group cut ties with me. they told me that it wasn't just me and that they had made a mutual decision to disband the group. i knew it was a lie and that they just wanted an excuse to get away from me and some other people in the group. we were in a discord call when it happened. one person who i had known for nearly three years said that they wouldn't even consider me as a friend. i don't talk to them anymore but i still follow them on social media. i see posts where they're making joking around and playing video games with each other.
the only person i talk to on a regular basis (besides my family) is my bf. whenever i try to talk about my depression he just blows it off and says "yeeeahh…don't worry about it." and then changes the subject. i know he loves me but it's gotten to the point to where it feels i can't tell anyone about how i'm really feeling without feeling like i'm bothering people.
i try my hardest to get over it but i can't get it out of my head and i end up just crying in my bed on a regular basis when i'm trying to sleep. i just want to have friends to talk to again.
No. 279658
>>279653How did you make friends in the first discord initially? You gotta repeat that and make new friends to get over the hurt the ex ones caused.
I don't mean to come across as insensitive anon, yet it has been 6 months, and I understand why your bf thinks you need to try to overcome those feelings by now.
No. 279666
File: 1534142110765.jpg (16.81 KB, 604x336, tumblr_nsmg1hV0h11te5fcoo1_128…)
My normie neighbor wants to be friends. Seems like he was under the impression I don't like him, got hurt by it, and intends to fix our relationship. He's ok, it just didn't occur to me that he'd want anything to do with my recluse ass. Dude invited me to one of his parties and I think I left a pretty bad impression on the people there because of my blunted affect. Couldn't eat any of the food due to my recent aversion issues, which must have looked super rude too. I'm gonna keep trying to be nicer to him but I feel like I'm headed towards disaster.
No. 279731
This whole thing is me being sensitive but I gotta vent it somewhere.
Boyfriend and I are living together. Together 2 1/2 years. I like the idea of marriage. He's terrified. I'm ok with that and would never pressure him into something like that. It's also not something that applies to us right now, way too soon if it was to happen, but every so often he makes a comment about it that makes my heart sink.
Recently I met some of his family I hadn't met before, and they jokingly referred to themselves as my new in-laws, and he loudly stated "WELL SHE KNOWS WHERE I STAND ON THAT SORT OF THING"
Two of his friends are probably getting engaged as soon as one is finished college and I commented that it was very cute that they'd be together forever (not a loaded comment, they're genuinely adorable) and his reply was "FOREVER IS A LONG TIME THOUGH", and he's repeated that any time someone has brought up marriage in conversation.
That last one just sort of cut through me, even though it was a good few weeks ago. I feel like crying, even though I know it's silly. It makes me feel disposable, which is a really stupid thing to feel because he's chosen to live with me. My anxiety goes through the roof and I start to wonder if he's with me until something better comes along, or if he plans to break it off and leave for something, anything, so he won't be "tied down" forever.
I know it can take people a long time to make up their minds about whether or not they want to be with someone forever (sometimes they never do), but I just don't know why he has to make a song and dance out of how much he doesn't want to be married.
Apart from saying I like the idea ONCE, I've never once cooed or awwed over weddings, brought it up in conversation, anything like that because I wouldn't want him to be freaked out. It's not like he has any pressure from me to push against.
Even thinking about it makes me want to cry. I wish I could just let a casual comment be what it is instead of reading into it and worrying.
No. 279743
>>279731You aren't being insensitive. Guys that get defensive over any comments about marriage or babies are not serious long term. Like I get it if the girl is acting like a psycho and saying she was babies every two minutes and whatnot but just overreacting when the subject comes up is a sign he's probably a dick.
My first boyfriend used to be paranoid about getting me pregnant. We always had protection but he would constantly say things like 'I'd hate to get you pregnant because you'd probably wanna keep it' constantly. I didn't even want kids at the time nor did I even talk about kids but he would say shit like that. He ended up being a major douchebag.
Dump him unless you are okay with potentially never being serious.
No. 279770
>>279731Have you ever asked him why he's afraid of commitment? Either way, you should probably talk to him about this. Just let him know you're not pressuring him but you'd like to marry the right guy one day, and his comments about it are scaring you. Maybe he'll mature a bit and in a couple more years he'll be more open to it.
However, as a warning from someone who got married without ever wanting to be married, I wouldn't expect a fancy proposal or a lot of motivation in putting on the ceremony. If he's never given a shit about those things he likely never will. And if those aspects of getting married are important to you, you might want to seek out someone who actually cares.
No. 279775
>>279731 I was in the same situation, same words actually: My bf always said "Forever is a long time" or "I don't know how my life will look like when I'm older, I can't imagine that". If it makes you sad, try talking to him about it; not to pressure him into marriage, but to show him that you feel hurt and insecure. But also keep in mind that you've only been together for 2 1/2 years. I think it's perfectly fine to not be married yet.
My bf and I have been together for 8 years now and we still are not married. I talked to him about it after 3 years because I felt insecure and he explained that it was because his parents got separated a few years ago, which made it hard for him to believe in marriage. I feel really relaxed about the topic now, I am very happy with him and I don't need marriage to be happier. However, nowadays it is him who keeps insisting that we should get married, who makes plans about starting a family and says that we will be together forever. I think that shows how people can change their opinion and that you shouldn't immediately dump your boyfriend like other anons said.
No. 279825
File: 1534177899815.jpg (360.96 KB, 3264x1952, saddie.jpg)
How do I stop deriving my sense of self worth from the attention/ validation I get from guys.. :(
I recently started hooking up with this ~insta famous~ dude. He's the biggest douche I've ever met and I can't stand him, but I almost feel like I'm addicted to the validation I seemingly get from him (I'm cute but average looking, so him fucking me is kind of a huge deal). He's a classic fuckboy so every time we hook up it's on his terms. Whenever I ask him to hang out he just blatantly ignores my messages, and every single time it ruins my fucking day, plus the following two or so days.
But then as soon as he throws me some half assed breadcrumbs my heart starts beating faster and I feel really good about myself – until the next time he ignores me. It's like, my entire fucking mood and self image depend on this guy, even though I don't even like him as a person. At the same time my need for validation from him keeps me from standing up for myself and telling him to fuck off.
And this is not the first time this is happening. I tend to hook up or date guys who are out of my league, because I somehow assume them giving me attention will help me improve my self esteem. But 90% of the time the actual opposite is the case. As soon as their interest in me starts to decline, I start chasing after them like a crazy person, seeking their attention, while feeling like a piece of shit. This behaviour is seriously destroying me and I just want it to end already. I wish I could just love myself and step up from being used as a fucking cum rag every single time.
No. 279899
File: 1534191681256.gif (1.99 MB, 400x226, FDA30464-0668-4B17-8788-18A21D…)
>>279652Thanks for the laugh. We need more posts like this.
No. 279957
File: 1534204190462.jpeg (36.39 KB, 442x494, 52DB1668-B9D5-447D-A812-9CAC46…)
I stupidly slept with a dude and then kind of developed a crush, but he told me he wasn’t really interested in dating. No big deal, I’m kind of used to this sort of thing and kind of tried to ‘prove myself’ which ended up being all for naught. He tried to get to know me at first and seemed pretty needy, which I liked. He then demanded a lot of affection but every time I would call what we had a ‘casual relationship’ he would assert that I definitely was NOT his girlfriend. But, he would always show me off and hug me and try to hold my hand and kiss me in public, including once in front of his ex.
I soon decided to say something when I finally realized I was stuck in something I was unhappy with. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with how he demanded a lot of affection and treated me almost like a girlfriend in public while asserting that he wasn’t interested in me romantically. I said if he wanted just a friends with benefits thing that was fine, but he should tone it down because it was giving me emotional whiplash from the snaps from loverboy to a cold douche.
He ended up telling me that he felt like I was trying to bait him into a relationship and that we were just too different (no idea where that ever came from). I was really fuckin’ mad about how much he twisted what I said to make him the victim and me the overly-clingy one. I think he was just mad he lost his sex mommy. It still hurts because I have a habit of being strung along like this. I really try hard to be selective but I always go for the damaged “soft” artistic boys because I think they’ll understand and want to develop something “real” with me because they’ve been hurt in the past… Why do they always end up being the most noncomittal douches…? I know this is total whinging and sounds pathetic but I haven’t had a boyfriend in three years and I was so starved for affection and attention and I was so so stupid. Sorry if this is awful and rambly. I just need to let it out because can’t hold it in.
No. 279969
>>279966Nta. Maybe get a pet? Like a dog to love you.
I’d say a baby if you are pretty set in life and stable enough. Plenty of fine bpd parents out there, it’s not schizophrenia.
I’m bpd but am too lazy for children but I feel like I would love the child, nurture it and not fuck it up lol.
No. 279991
I'm going to the health department tomorrow to get back on birth control and heard they might give me a pap smear, and I haven't ever had one before.
My mom is going with me because I have anxiety and, I like someone to be with me the first couple of times I do things, until I get used to them, but I don't want her to actually go back with me to see the doctor.
She's making such a big deal out of it, and taking it as a personal attack because I don't want her to be there for my first pap smear. She keep going on about how she was there for my sister's first one and how her mom was there for her's, but I just don't feel comfortable with anyone but the medical staff being there, while I have my vaginal examined. I told her this, and that it was nothing against her.
She told me there's no point in her going then if she's just going to sit in the lobby and I explained to her that I want her to be there when I go because of my anxiety, which she's aware that I have, because I used to go to therapy for it. But she just makes fun of me when ever I can't do stuff or do certain things because of my anxiety.
I just wish I didn't even need her to go with me, but I'm just too scared to go alone
No. 280008
>>279972Just in case you might not know, it's not normal for family members to call you evil or a bitch over not being able to do something for them.
Maybe you're not malicious, but they are most definitely manipulative.
No. 280014
File: 1534213344801.gif (1.46 MB, 432x264, giphy (8).gif)
I don't want to go into details, but my friend circle had a falling out between three people and I feel like one of them is kicking dirt in my face just because I'm still hanging out with the other two people she's feuding with.
I wouldn't usually be angry, but it upsets me that I did so much shit for this woman like house her in my apartment when her then ex bf (now fiance) kicked her out for a few weeks.
I can't think of a single wrong I've done to her to merit her indifferent behavior towards me. Instead all I've gotten back is her paranoia, like accusing me and my bf of screencapping her vagueposting on social media and sending it to the two other women. She blames other people for finding out what she posts instead of not posting immature shit to begin with.
All she cares about anymore is pretending to be too ill to work and bilking people for all they've got for her gain. She only talks to me when she's got a bone to pick or needs something, and she wonders why I hang out with the other girls who at least don't treat me like that.
I feel like I wasted time, feelings, and money on this sociopath.
I even wished her a happy birthday and she didn't even acknowledge me while acknowledging everyone else.
I'm ashamed for ever giving her the benefit of the doubt, and mad at myself for getting my feelings hurt.
No. 280106
File: 1534231945511.jpg (38.48 KB, 543x620, 1457163241193.jpg)
I'm on holidays for the second time in my life and it's like a dream becoming true at first and I'm with a friend who seems like she's actively trying to ruin everything. And I'm just unlucky in general:
>wanted to go to the beach but my periods started when we arrived to our destination so I'll be able to swim only in a few days
>tried to plan our week with my friend and she said she would go to the beach with me but she changed her mind and doesn't want to anymore, while complaining about the places I suggested even though she never visited them either and she agreed on visiting these places in the first place
>we planned to visit specific places but she changed her mind because she wants to go to places that aren't very interesting instead because she heard about it after we arrived
>we're in a youth hostel so we're sleeping with 2 other people. Friend ALWAYS wants to include the woman with us so she wouldnt feel lonely because "it's sooo sad :'(" so we have to change plans AGAIN for the sake of being polite
>that woman speaks english with us and she's nice but she doesn't seem interested either. Friend tries to talk to her all the time to practice her really crappy and embarrassing English. I dont feel like speaking in a foreign language all the time during holidays. She really wanted to interrupt a Japanese family going grocery shopping because she wanted to practice her equally crappy Japanese
>whenever I say something meant to friend only she translates it so the woman can feel included, so now she knows I'm on my periods. As well as the guy staying with us.
>complains about me wanting to visit the city we're staying in because "I'm tired I don't want to walk :'(" despite telling her beforehand that we would visit several cities, which she agreed on
>told me she doesnt have enough money to eat in more or less cheap restaurants all the time (fair enough) while complaining about giving a lot of money to her family because they wanted to buy luxury stuff (which is her fault, her problem)
Next time I'm travelling alone.
No. 280212
File: 1534256267980.jpg (29.02 KB, 481x524, Chj9xqfW0AASQ5m.jpg)
The first episode of the final season of TWD is out and the only thing people are talking about is how they're going to ship Clem with x. Jesus fuck did you all miss the entire plot and episode? And of course it's all about being gaaay jfc…
No. 280316
>>269962I just went back to school at 25 and already have no fucking motivation with my dad threatening suicide because the building asked the extra flat he's been filling with trash, hoarder, for years, yes he has two flats rented but somehow never thought about buying his own place, and now he's rushing me to move out as fast as possible so that he can fill my "room", it's half his stuff really, with the trash from the 2nd flat.
For fuck sake, managing my mental health is already a full time job and all that I really wish was a family and a place to call home and go back to.
No. 280338
File: 1534279862780.jpg (57.06 KB, 415x640, 8LDyoBil.jpg)
ok I doubt anyone else watches the bachelor/bachelorette because it's cringe I know but on the most recent season of the bachelorette she picked the guy who had a "scandal" in which he supposedly liked an ig post with conservative memes, supposedly racist/sexist/homophobic stuff. i'm not conservative, in fact i'm very liberal, but I think the backlash both of them are receiving is ridiculous. even though she clearly had the best connection with him THROUGHOUT the show (he got the first impression rose even) people are yelling at her, calling her a horrible person etc. for picking him/not dumping him. he has apologized multiple times, even on live national television, not to mention she didn't know about this before she picked him clearly.
pic is a comment left on becca's SISTER's instagram post. it's not that deep
No. 280371
>>280106I have had the same problem in the past, anon.
She won’t change her attitude so try to make the best of it for yourself. If it’s safe to visit some of these sites alone, you should. You sound like someone I would like to travel with. :-) please enjoy your vacation!
Can we anons know where this holiday is?
No. 280384
>>280382Me too anon. I live at home, have a beautiful room and I absolutely love my family, but I also feel a lot more depressed there.
I really hate my part time job and don't have any friends in Uni, so it isn't exactly enjoyable, but at least it distracts me.
But same as you, I also barely have any friends, so I can't really do anything.
No. 280388
>>280382>>280384i feel this. i get sick of cleaning the house, working, and going to school. i don't even particularily not get along with my parents, but i still avoid them.
i think i just need to get out of the house more for fun, with friends. the problem is, they all live really far away.
No. 280398
>>280395Does it matter right away if the address is wrong?
If it’s for pay check, that make take a couple weeks anyways.
No. 280403
>>280398I'm worried that if I were to give the papers to my contractor and the uni they won't be valid since the adress is wrong. Actually it is my work place's adress that is wrong but I just don't get it. I gave him the right name and my contractor's name is also right, how the hell did he made this mistake?
Of course I had to be attended by the secretary with a bored and uninterested face instead of the nice ladies. And he had to fuck it up.
I'll be calling them tomorrow. I don't know if it is that important, but I'm usually an anxious person and this is making me insane right now.
No. 280426
>>280403Try to take your mind off things and know that you won’t even think about this in a years time.
Sometimes when I know I need to give an address, I write it on a piece of paper beforehand then give them that. I have learned my lesson too lol
No. 280487
File: 1534310399321.gif (1.34 MB, 540x486, 348490835.gif)
>spending 10 days in Japan with bf
>already funded plane tix so all that's left is stay, rail passes, and food
>spending ~$1000 for accommodations in Shinjuku and a couple days in Kyoto
>rail passes are gonna cost $800 for both
>leaves us with about $1.5k leftover to spend on food and misc
For some reason bf was pouting and thinks that won't be enough?
He's even pressuring me into not booking the Airbnb with a nice hot tub and a lot of space, in exchange for some shitty hostel. It would only save a couple hundred.
Idk if he's just being a whiny pissbaby, or if I should take out a credit card. He's making me nervous and I don't know if there's any reason to be.
I'm not planning on shopping, and plan to eat cheaply outside maybe four specific food spots. Most of our time is going to be spent visiting free shrines and low-admission museums or such things like that. Sight-seeing, taking pictures. Am I underestimating something here?
Honestly it's so stressful. it sucks traveling with someone who guts my confidence in things at every turn.
No. 280496
>>280490He's sour because he tried applying for a travel cc but was declined. I think he brought it up because he knows if I would apply, I'd get it.
Let's just say if I did apply for a travel credit card, he would
not know that I have it. It would be for emergency and if I
really saw something I couldn't live without over there.
>>280491I don't know. I truly thought $1.5k would be fine. When I was picking out bnbs for next month, he started to get huffy when I was going for the regular rooms at ~$120 a night, but not the hostel rooms which were $70-90 a night. Because I don't feel like sharing a small space with strangers when for some money more I could be in comfort?
Plus he got
real salty when he saw the JR pass costs.
We did save up the spending money together, but he knows nothing about Japan so I don't see how he could speculate how we won't have enough one way or the other. Sounds like he wants this trip to be extravagant, but sorry for him, our budget is what it is.
Another thing he might have done is promised his moochy sisters that he would buy them gifts and be a shopping service for them. It might have been that he promised to cover the cost upfront, and of course they'd never pay him back. It could be part of it.
I wish there was people in my life who've been to Japan before that I could ask.
No. 280535
>>280506Hey anon I appreciate you <3
I found a great rate for an APA hotel in the location we wanted!
No. 280567
>>280552anon, that's horrible and i'm so, so sorry, but to ease your mind, the chance of you catching it through vaginal sex once is very, very, very low.
>A meta-analysis of 10 studies exploring the risk of transmission through vaginal sex was published in 2009.4 It estimated the risk of HIV transmission through receptive vaginal sex (receiving the penis in the vagina) to be 0.08% (equivalent to 1 transmission per 1,250 exposures).
>A meta-analysis of three studies exploring the risk from insertive vaginal sex (inserting the penis into the vagina) was estimated to be 0.04% (equivalent to 1 transmission per 2,500 exposures).don't kill yourself with worry over it and just get tested eventually, but it's very, very unlikely that you caught anything.
No. 280597
I don't want to work. I was recovering form heavy depression for about 7 months, and I was lucky to have my parents support me during this time, so I had plenty of rest.
Now I feel much better, but just can't make myself do things like commissions, contribution to a fanzine, a simple drawing. I also have a physical condition right now, so I can't even start looking for a proper job, because it's unknown when exactly it will be cured.
When I was in a depressive state, I really was looking forward to going back to art and doing a lot of it, but now I prefer anything that wastes my time and doesnt call for action. Like watching youtube, reading random blogs, even sitting here in search of some amusement. I don't know what to do. I'm completely lost right now because it seems that depression broke something inside me. All my discipline is gone, and I had a lot of it, I loved working hard and having no rest. Now I even a small task repulses me.
No. 280726
File: 1534357766173.jpg (29.28 KB, 600x380, facepalm.jpg)
My taste in men is objectively horrendous and I want it to stop being what it is.
Right now I’m disgusted with myself for how attracted I am to this sleazy, annoying, druggy manslut that my friend hangs out with. The worst is the fact that I feel a tinge of jealousy whenever I hear about his gross sexcapades. I hate that I catch myself trying to justify his actions and thinking of him as this poor little broken bby who can’t help himself just because I have the hots for him. He’s a grown ass man and I can’t fuck him into being better. I’ve been telling myself from the start that no matter what I’m not going there but somehow my attraction manages to grow proportionally to my disgust.
At least my decision making ability is still sound but wtf is wrong with my instincts. Why am I playing myself like this. Why can’t I just be into decent, normal people.
No. 280858
File: 1534375309572.jpg (84.7 KB, 573x400, 1533420983764.jpg)
Sometimes I feel like a complete autist because of how easily I am able to cut people off. Both online and irl. I even cut off healthy new friendships. I don't even feel anything when I do this. I only have one real life friend which I'll probably won't see again but oh well, I'm considering cutting him off as well.. We'll see.
No. 280860
>>280858I'm the total opposite, anon. I always cling onto people even when they don't really care about me, especially my girlfriends.
The moment my friend told me she's going to drop our language course and get a private teacher, I felt my heart sinking.
Looks like she's still going to have lunch at the same spot so I can still get to see her and we can hang out together.
It creeps me out how I seem to treat my friends the same way a bf would treat his gf - I always go extra miles for them. I've never given the same kindness to my male friends.
No. 281015
>>280569You really should get tested. It's no big deal at the health center, they usually are very friendly and soothing. You'll get a short explanation and then, because your encounter was a long time ago, do a quick test. The results will be there after 30 minutes! Some countries also offer home testing, which might be another solution if you're too scared/uncomfortable to go to the test in person.
I'm very sorry for what has happened to you. But after everything, you should not torture yourself with paranoia. I used to be the same and I got really obsessed with checking my "symptoms" (and yes, of course I had all of them) and surfing HIV forums. I was convinced that I had it and I lived with that "knowledge" for two years as well. The thing is: If you have it, you have it. It's better to know that so that you can start therapy early and live normally + so that you don't put others at risk. Like the other anon said, it's more likely that you don't have it, though. And maybe this knowledge would help you with processing what has happened, too? When I found out that I'm not sick, my life drastically changed and my paranoia finally disappeared. It's the uncertainty that makes it so horrible! I wish you all the best and hope that you can overcome your fear.
No. 281090
>>280487Write up a budget now. Calculate max money for food, purchases allowance, unexpected expendatures (say 200) and fun funds. Account for all the money and reassure him.
Japan is expensive so just be wise.
No. 281269
>>281247damn are you me?
have you ever heard of parentification or emotional incest (sounds extreme but it describes a wide spectrum of behaviors)?
https://womboflight.com/when-shame-feels-mothering-the-tragedy-of-parentified-daughtershttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201107/when-parents-make-children-their-friend-or-spousehttps://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/parentification/It's abusive and irresponsible to guilt your children into trying to solve your emotional issues, especially when you've never done the same for them.
my mom has always done the same shit with me since she divorced my dad and got new boyfriends, but she always mocked me or accused me of attention seeking if i ever had any similar or worse problems. it made me feel that i didn't have the right to ask for help, have problems, or ever show any weakness. but in order to become actually strong, not just putting up a strong facade, you need to accept that initial vulnerability in yourself. parentifying mothers prevent us from doing that.
anyway, it's one thing if your mother just gave you an update about her current affairs and moved on, but your mom is demanding way too much from you. you have yourself to take care of.
No. 281305
File: 1534451074410.jpg (66.82 KB, 1200x740, e93.jpg)
i hate teenage girls. i know i should probably be more understanding since i was one once, and it is difficult, but ffs its like they are purposefully retarded or something. as a collective they are so damn vapid and useless, all the shit they like is so retarded and bordering on disgusting. most of them are so god damn insecure to a ridiculous degree, like ffs girls stop falling so hard for all the stupid BS youre being fed. they dont think for themselves. teenage boys get a bad rap but i honestly don't think they are as bad, they are still stupid but in a different way which isn't nearly as offensive. teenage girls just fucking get on my nerves so hard, i feel like most of them nowadays need a slap.
No. 281314
>>281305you sound like an incel
triggered that not even teen girls are stupid enough to suck your greasy dick
No. 281328
>>281305Imo it's not about age but the fact there some girls can be awful bitches. Today I was at my uni's reception waiting for a code and this girl sitting next to me called someone on her phone, probably one of her friends. I wasn't really listening until something she said got my attention, it was like 'i was leaving class and (some girl's name) said she's also going to have lunch with us so there was nothing i could do (evil laugh)'. I was seriously disgusted and felt bad for the girl. I feel anons in the men hate thread or lolcow in general go a bit ott and act like women can do no wrong and get overly defensive on their behalf. See
>>281314 and
>>281321Seriously, some women just suck, I'm not obligated to defend them just because I happen to share the same gender.
No. 281343
>>281328God, if petty shit like that is what people consider equivalent to what is typically criticized in the man hate thread (rape, abuse, pedophilia, etc) then no wonder there's so much 'women are just as bad!!' bullshit.
We fucking KNOW women aren't perfect. But it's a thread for hating men, if you want to hate on womem for being catty bitches you can discuss it with literally the entire world because that is what most people think. And if you see it as anywhere near as destructive as the disproportionate amount of crimes men commit, examine your internalized misogyny.
No. 281351
>>281334I couldn't explain it very well since english isn't my first language but there was absolutely no reason to think otherwise. Her commentary was definetely mean spirited, I'm not dumb or paranoid.
>you know that other day we were having lunch remember>(girl) told me she was going too so what could i do? typical mean bitch laugh If I was talking about a male you'd be singing a different tune.
>>281343I'm not trying to defend men here, just my right to criticize whoever I want regardless of gender. See than anon above, she was complaining about teenage girls and the responses were literally 'male reeee' ffs.
>We fucking KNOW women aren't perfectThe anons in the man hate thread responding to bait all day seem to think otherwise.
No. 281361
>>281351the whole world is shitting on teen girls for being stupid, catty, vapid… you are not special in that. Teen boys rape people and you consider them the lesser evil? WTF.
Why the fuck do you care about teen girls if you are not under 18? And yes, women are not perfect but you say all teen girls are horrible because of a single drama queen.
No. 281365
>>281364why and how is watching porn in a relationship normal.
I want to die
No. 281374
>>281305I'd rather a teen be stupid and vapid at that age to learn some lessons and get it out of their systems.
Ever try dealing with a stupid, vapid, bitchy adult who could've used a few knocks when they were younger?
It's a rite of passage to be young and dumb, but there will be no excuse once they become grown. I'm not a teacher or a parent so my interaction with teenagers is minimum at best, can't say igaf about current teeny culture.
No. 281377
>>281365My boyfriend hates the thought of me masturbating without him but he's been drunk and literally put babestation on. TV was always on that fucking channel.
I would get angry at him. Any time he mentioned porn or I saw that fucking channel I wouldn't put out that day he got the message. But that's only in front of me.
Porn is shit when I first got with him sex was a shit show, I had to tell him it wasn't a turn on hearing him spout out lines hes heard from porn especially when it wasn't relevant. Boys are freaks
No. 281387
>>281305That's because they're teenagers, they're stupid by design. I've met some smart ones but they're rare.
And girls aren't any more or less bitchy than boys, that goes for children too, they're just evil in different ways. Boys are physically violent and like to intimidate their peers and have no regard for other people's feelings. Girls are mean and emotionally abusive, like to build their social capital based on shallow, external values because that's what's served to them and have no regard for other people's feelings.
I have a teen sister and a (slightly older) teen brother, they're both awful in exactly the same way, they're both selfish, entitled and incredibly stupid, they both just parrot whatever they hear in their respective social circles. Hopefully they'll grow out of it in a few years.
No. 281398
>>281365idk i watch it once every few months so i cant condemn him it would make me a hypocrite. the moment i see that type of shit though makes me not want to have sex, i feel disgusted. theres a difference between seeing some tasteful content made by people and just the weirdest nastiest sex with modified women screaming all the time.
i think he secretly has yellow fever but wont admit it. feelsbad
No. 281406
>>281398I was snooping around quite a few years ago and found my crushes
brother's Instagram account. It was mostly empty except he followed 100% only Korean and Japanese random models, like 100 just random Asian women's accounts and nothing else. Suffice to say he was not an Asian man himself.
When people go for that aesthetic they go heavy for it. It's just a particular male weirdness, they obsess about things rather than taking a bit from everything.
No. 281447
>>281436Honestly anon, fuck it and live your best life.
Kids aren’t everything, those without often want them and those with them often have regrets they haven’t done before having kids.
If she brings up pregnancy problems try to shoehorn into the great things you have planned for just be two of you, vacations, shopping, etc that she’ll likely have to hold back on since she’s going to have a baby soon and that’s a money pit.
Be a bitch subtly by turning it on her, since she’s kind of being a bitch turning the conversation into what you can’t have then do the same and remind her of the things you guys have planned that she’ll have to hold off on because she’ll be sitting at home with a baby.
No. 281552
>>281545the worst part is that i dont even want to tell anyone how bad it is because im scared something bad would happen. i lied when getting both my diagnoses (anxiety & depression). i was still diagnosed, just with a super mild form. i was scared i would be sent off or tested on or something if i was honest.
i live my life feeling like the world is out to get me
No. 281587
>>281584germanfags are retarded
do you mean religion?
No. 281663
>>281447Do what
>>281436 said.
Go for a great hike and send her pics. Shit just find pics on google and send them. She can’t do anything eith her pregnancy.
After she has the kid make sure to shove your vacations, disposable income, naps, quiet time alone, shove it all in that bitch’s face.
Everyone was on me to have kids. No thanks. I have the most freedom now. They have debt. I’m sure I’m missing something but I don’t know it so bloop!
No. 281672
File: 1534511637969.jpeg (63.82 KB, 351x351, E6A601FA-5D26-4574-AF0C-BA390E…)
>>281602I remember in 7th grade, I had Spanish class with a very well developed Mexican girl that couldn’t speak English (usa). She also had a tattoo lol.
She was obviously at least 17 and all the boys loved her. She was only there a few months.
No. 281754
>>281706These people are scared to be send back to their home countires, so they lie that they are minors. It is a very sad situation overall because if you need help, you should receive help no matter your age, sex, religion. Maybe then nobody would lie.
>grown ass man from a religion known for raping children running close to kidsYou are from the US right? Probably a Trump voter too… You are a toxic and racist person to implicate that muslims are pedophiles. I live in Germany and I know a lot of muslim people and also refugees and all of them are good hardworking people. Of course there are bad people too but it is comparable to all religions and nations in the world.
No. 281759
>>281753If your life would get better in five years, would it be worth the totality of death to not wait?
That's why I don't kill myself. I wouldn't call it 'hope' per se, but I know dying is horrible and death is final. If there's a remote possibility that things could turn around for me in a couple years then I'd rather bear the brunt of bad shit now so I can get a taste of satisfaction later.
Wouldn't you at least agree that only giving things less than a year isn't really nice or generous to yourself? Wouldn't you say you deserve a little bit more than that? Like you said, you're not really the problem. It's your circumstances. It's your toxic narc mother (I relate), and unemployment.
Obviously I'm just some random on the internet, but escaping your mother and finding a job do seem like things that could be resolved in a year or so.
Wouldn't you want to save suicide for something…idk, more worthy and inescapable?
Forgive and be kinder to you, you're being so harsh on yourself, anon.
No. 281769
File: 1534532150957.jpg (64.43 KB, 592x639, FHxnpIO.jpg)
>>281706People always wonder why that whole refugee disaster happened, since anybody with just half a brain could have guessed that letting in millions is a shitty idea.
>I live in Germany and I know a lot of muslim people and also refugees and all of them are good hardworking people. Of course there are bad people too but it is comparable to all religions and nations in the world.This is the reason why. That's exactly how the average German (and Swede) thinks like.
>ignore all statistics, refugees actually are hardworking!>child marriages, honor killings and co? We're just as bad! No. 281797
>>281706>grown ass man from a religion known for raping children running close to kidsTell me again, what was that religion called where they just recently found out about tons of sexual abuse of minors and their institutions covering it up? Ah yes, Catholicism.
>>281769>refugee disaster Ah yes, the burning streets of Berlin, the ISIS flag being hissed above the Reichstag and Sharia law being put into effect really were the most tragic events of German history.
>That's exactly how the average German (and Swede) thinks like. Because we know what our countries actually look like after 3 years of this, and it's not that bad, actually.
No. 281798
>>281754I'm a hafu currently living in Japan but oh well it's an anonymous board, I could be anyone really.
>to implicate that muslims are pedophilesNot all of them obviously. Search child brides in Islam and see for yourself how it's acceptable in a lot of slamic countries where the refugees come from.
https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/where-does-it-happen/You sound like a SJW tbqh. Have fun with the mess your country is going to become.
>>281769Exactly. Idk why I even care, but having German relatives it makes me a bit sad.
No. 281805
>>281797There was a gigantic outcry when the sexual abuse scandal came up. But in most muslim countries nobody even blinks an eye if a child is abused, it's socially and legally acceptable - and this is what differentiates us from them.
>…really were the most tragic events of German history.You're clearly hinting at "Don't forget Hitler!". That's so pathetic…
Just because Germany isn't a dictatorship anymore doesn't mean that everything's fine.
Ich bin auch Deutsche, ich weiß wie ist hier zu leben und ich stimme dir übehaupt nicht zu - genauso wie viele andere auch. Red dir nur alles schön.
No. 281817
File: 1534540531879.jpeg (Spoiler Image,138.83 KB, 750x901, F06928FE-A492-494B-A4CA-E2B0F5…)
I feel there is nothing to live for and I actually want to be euthanised but it’s so expensive. The thought of botching a suicide attempt and surviving, making my life 10x worse living either as a cripple or disfigured terrifies me… guess to others these points would be seen as positives that are keeping me alive. Currently on medication and waiting for therapy. Don’t think people take me seriously due to coming across as an edgy edgelord (yay for modern day teens and their nihilistic memes….) Mental health waiting lists are so long… surely this must reflect the fact society is on the downfall and not fulfilling basic human needs.
No. 281835
>>281663It’s different when you’re really unhappy about infertility though.
How do I brag about naps and things when she knows as well as I do that it’s devastated us?
She knows me well enough to know I don’t give a shit about holidays because I’m a homebody. I just want somewhere where I can be upset over it without having to be totally alone.
My family won’t quit telling us all about fostering and adoption despite them being told multiple times we aren’t eligible.
His family respond with ‘oh well’ now that they are getting a grandkid out of someone else, friends and strangers don’t seem to get it and just say ‘but babies are so lame you could have other things’ and they refuse to or just can’t understand that a consolation prize doesn’t stop grief.
I know kids aren’t be all and end all but fuck, not once in 3 years has anyone ever said anything along the lines of ‘that’s awful, you must be sad’
It’s always you can have a holiday, babies are so annoying, that’s not very feminist of you, what’s that, you legally can’t adopt? Just adopt a baby, it’s selfish to want babies, look after other people’s babies for work…
I haven’t been allowed to say I’m sad without it being so fucking invalidated every single time. It’s bullshit.
No. 281857
>>281835I didn't reply at the time but when I read the responses to your post, I thought they were really insensitive tbh. Getting 'revenge' on her by living the child free life is not the solution, it's disingenuous as fuck and clearly it isn't what you want so why would they expect you to revel in it…
If I was you all I'd do is distance myself from them as much as possible, and when forced to interact have a serious confrontation with the intention of guilting the shit out of them. Your situation really is sad, it's bizarre that people in your life haven't acknowledged it. ime most people find fertility issues really tragic and have a lot of sympathy for it.
No. 281861
File: 1534555845412.jpeg (Spoiler Image,51.51 KB, 784x441, C649CD47-B818-4545-9B6E-3F46A1…)
>>281817I feel you anon, I’ve thought about the same things. Pic related is reportedly the 40th face transplant recipient (failed suicide gunshot attempt) and it just looks depressing. The only other “quick and painless” method I’ve heard of is the carbon monoxide/helium mask and even that seems a little easy to botch but it probably wouldn’t have such disastrous effects. I have wondered if you’d be conscious long enough to feel the pain of a massive truck tire running over your head. Seems like at some moments I’m like “life is so delicate!” and at others I think “wow, it’s hard to die.” Hope I don’t sound like an ~edgelord~
No. 281866
>>281861Goodness.
Does anyone know how these people are now emotionally? Did they get some awakening and come to love life? Or is this a new level of hell for them?
No. 281882
>>281878NTA but there's being ugly and then there's having a hole in your face and still looking bad after surgery.
It's not about standarts of beauty, it's about being abnormal.
No. 281890
File: 1534565057881.jpg (145.12 KB, 522x614, leon.jpg)
>go to my friends house, period starts in the same day
>have to get up change pads all the time while they play games
>friends gf plays for a long long time
>when its finally my turn i play for 10min before a glitch appears
>start moving panicked and topples a glass her gf had left beside me
>have to clean all the mess
>run to bathroom with a bad feeling
>pants smeared in blood
>washes them in sink and sneakily go to friends room to change
>idk if i left a spot in their sofa but i want to die
How can I be so unlucky. Every time I go out with my friends I'm always the only one getting fecked.
No. 281896
File: 1534565400733.jpg (40.99 KB, 631x474, 39519420_2092429271017963_7785…)
I found out I am gay (bi or les) almost a year ago. I grew up in a household that was Catholic, conservative, and somewhat strict. I never knew that being gay was an option for me to have and just always accepted I was straight.
My parents are stubborn and don't accept other points of view at all. My brother and I have been non-religious for several years but they refuse to accept it. When my mom suspected I was having sex with my bf of 2 years (I was 20 years old) she called me a whore and didn't talk to me for a week. When I got a nose piercing, my mom called me a tramp. My parents "won't let me" get a tattoo, dye my hair, travel alone, not go to church, spend my own money on big purchases, and other things. I'm in my early 20s in university.
I know the type of person my mom wants me to be. She's reinforced it all my life. She wants me to wear makeup, girly clothes, straighten my hair, have a tall white boyfriend with money, get married, have kids, etc. In her mind she's "looking out for me" and wants what's best for me. She would never accept me being gay. She would never have my partner over for Christmas, come to a wedding, or anything like that. I'm already worrying about all of this and I've never even had a girlfriend. I don't want to become estranged from them, but I want to live my own life. When I try to have mature conversations with her, she shuts down and refuses to budge. It makes me sad but there's not much I can do.
No. 281902
File: 1534565925135.jpg (10.84 KB, 256x229, 60179126ede38400cc8e3558b37607…)
>>281810 I feel you. Literally too horny to sleep right now and nothing helps.
No. 281910
>>281436I'm so sorry you're dealing with that; it must be very painful. I know I'm late responding. She's being intentionally rude. Talk to your husband about it and see if in the future, you can decline these invitations. Seeing as how you've struggled with infertility, nobody should judge your poorly for it. You don't owe it to anyone to let them hurt your feelings further, even if they are your in-laws.
>>281890I'm sorry; that's frustrating embarrassing. I hope your flow calms down/your find pads that don't leak so much.
>>281896That's a frustrating and unfair situation to be in. How much longer do you have in university, and are they paying for it? Remember that as an adult, you are your own person and can do what you want. It sucks when your parents don't support you in being yourself, and I'm sorry you are going through that.
>>281905That's rough, and it takes time. It might help to take a break from social media, even if you are not stalking him on there. Idk why, but it really helped me to get over my relationship. Try spending time with friends that are yours and yours alone. Take care of yourself, and remember why you're better off without him. Do you have any friends who are especially supportive of you never getting back together? Spend time with those friends.
No. 281920
File: 1534575288607.jpg (11.19 KB, 500x335, mfw.jpg)
There's a cat at a shelter about an hour away that me and bf really want to adopt, but we're leaving on a trip soon and I don't want to traumatize the cat by adopting it now and then having to pass it to a relative while we're gone.
We tried messaging the shelter but they haven't responded yet. Tbh I don't even know if it's considered a dick move to ask a shelter to 'hold' a cat. Could always cross our fingers and hope he's still available when we get back. The cat did seem like the type people wouldn't conventionally adopt, and he was really far back on the list indicating he'd probably been there for awhile. For all I know maybe the site's not updated and he's been adopted out already. If it were closer I'd just hop in my car and ask in person, but since it's an hour,,,
I'm trying not to let me or bf get too attached just in case, and there is a 'runner-up' cat we're interested in if not. But…gah. I just want a cat, I haven't had a cat in years and this time around I'll actually take good care of it because my parents don't live with me to fuck shit up with my pets anymore.
No. 281932
>>281921>male 4chan tripfag>hotok…
and yes, you're 100% wasting your time, and like, 90% of the time those men share nudes with their chanfaggot friends or just post them willingly all over the chans, so good luck
No. 281939
File: 1534580414238.jpg (171.62 KB, 595x595, TB2aqYpdTtYBeNjy1XdXXXXyVXa_!!…)
Anybody else also super scared of getting older?
I still remember that I cried the night before I turned 16, because I didn't want to grow older. Tomorrow I'm going to be 23 and I feel as if so far I haven't accomplished anything in life.
I don't have friends, I have never dated at all, my grades are only mediocre, I've wanted to lose weight for over 7 years already, but didn't. I'm so lazy, I'm always at home, I quit all my hobbies, I don't have any special talents or things I'm really good at, just nothing. When I see people who are 30, with kids and first stages of wrinkles and it makes me think that I should already be at my most attractive now, that I soon no longer will be young etc and it just makes me so sad. Whenever I see old people I feel like crying, not because I feel sorry for them, but because I'm scared that I will be and look this way as well.
No. 281943
>>281939Well first off, stating the obvious - 23 isn't fucking old. You have a lot of time to get your shit together.
And it's obvious you're projecting your real problems on your age. Aging isn't to blame for your lack of friends, relationships, hobbies, talents etc. There is literally no point on focusing on your age, especially when you're so young. Focus on things you can control, like improving yourself as a person. And take care of your skin, avoid the sun, aging badly doesn't have to be inevitable.
No. 281945
>>281939okay I getchu but maybe stop for a moment and think about why do you care? Are you seriously unhappy?
The thing is, you don't have to have tons of friends, excel in academics, have ten boyfriends and think of kids. You don't have to avoid the sun to have one less wrinkle in your thirties. Change things that make you unhappy but take your time to think about what that really means for
you. I think expectations and pressure are good sometimes, but on the other hand, we don't have to all be outgoing and skinny or whatever. Do you - the best of you.
No. 281951
>>281948> just wonder why these disfigured women don’t try to suicide again, is it they are shown how wonderful life is?Because most people who survive suicide realize they've made an awful mistake and underestimated how disturbing and painful it is to die.
It's just the ones who are successful in killing themselves who can't come back to tell you how shitty it was.
Deep down we all want to live. None of us want pain.
People have an aversion to both mental and physical pain.
Maybe if your brain can override the mental anguish and regret, your body is physically going to relay what dying is to you.
I don't see why you're rushing to find out. Either via brutal physical pain like shooting yourself or jumping off something. Or having your very person–memories and all–ripped from you via brain death from hanging or helium.
If you guys are terrified of what suicide will do to your faces or brains, then don't take that gamble. It's nonsense. Quit looking for ways to punish yourself if you can't handle the consequences of doing so.
And yeah, you should be very afraid. Don't do it.
Get help.
No. 281963
File: 1534600749347.jpg (20.92 KB, 275x323, Amyps3thoYK1qg4l0io1_400.jpg)
PMS makes me feel horny, suicidal and convinced I look like pic related.
Also I'm day drinking on my own, I hope I won't become an alcoholic.
No. 281984
File: 1534606425161.png (3.74 MB, 2792x1514, 8574930274.png)
>>281886I never said she shouldn't be or isn't. She can't see, speak, breathe, or hear normally lol she shot herself in the face she's never going to be normal. Of course she can be grateful to be alive, and I'm sure she is, but obviously you're still going to have mental issues afterwards because 1. you were suicidal to the point of actually trying to kill yourself 2. your face is unrecognizable and your motor functions are fucked. She herself said she felt like she looked like a monster.
No. 281997
File: 1534608539874.png (88.96 KB, 553x506, blackpepe.png)
>tfw you might go to uni in Germany but scared you'll be mistaken as a refugee
How do I avoid this
No. 282043
>>2820351. You're a women, most refugees aren't.
2. You're black, most refugees are Arab.
And no German would ever dare to be openly racist, because of our past, so you should be fine.
No. 282044
>>282013I use to be a first responder, I had 15 yr old girl attempt to commit suicide because she had a mental breakdown weeks after she told her therapist about getting raped and instead the therapist accused her of lying
she told me she didn't know if she was lying or not and doubting herself despite there being evidence of the rape
I don't think people know how badly it can fuck with people minds if they get accused of making a false rape or abuse accusation, I know there's all kinds of stories about how "False accusations can ruin a mans life" but don't give a shit about a woman who was actually raped and gets accused of lying about it
No. 282265
>>282256Idk, my sister is always on me for not having a sex life like other college aged kids and is always pushing me to have sex. My mom is always telling me that maybe I just haven't met the right kind of man yet and thinks that if I have sex with the right guy I'll magically wind up not being attracted to women.
People also always give me weird looks when I tell them interested in relationships (because they only ask if I have a boyfriend or if I'm looking for one).
I just feel abnormal and lonely and the guy is a long time friend so idk
No. 282276
>>282265That's pretty unhinged and everyone around you is being incredibly gross and pushy and care way too much about your sex life. Normal people do not care about other people's sex life that much.
It would help to stop considering the opinion of others, if you can. Stand up for yourself. Respect yourself, and all that. If some vague opinion from people around you can cause you to keep fucking someone against your will, you need to seek therapy. Working on moving away from there is probably a great step in the right direction if you can manage it.
No. 282328
>>282044Not a rape, but I had a guy whisper things into my ear on the train, then he stalked me off and grabbed my ass and squeezed twice. I hit him, grabbed him, got the police, spent over 5 hours at the station, and they tried to convince me not to press charges/file a police report, a couple officers laughed at me and asked how I could possibly know he groped me when I don't have eyes in the back of my head. I was 100% sure he did it, as he was creepy beforehand, the train wasn't crowded, he was the only one behind me, but they actually made me start to doubt myself, start to feel guilty, I actually started feeling bad for ripping the guy's shirt. The guy actually admitted to the police everything eventually, so I know he did it, he knows he did it. But I feel this weird guilty feeling still, feels like I blew it out of proportion or something.. he didn't get any punishment because he's under 20
No. 282535
>>282328don't feel guilty. You did absolutely nothing wrong and it sounds like everybody else involved were complete morons.
If you just did nothing and ignored him, he wouldn't have realized there was something severely wrong with what he did. Talking to the police hopefully knocked some sense into him and made him realize that shit isn't okay.
also fuck his shirt. you should have shredded it
No. 282570
>>282566Is it? Maybe I'm daft but I don't see women around me doing that, they never voice any thoughts like these and usually when they think a guy is shitty they stick to avoiding him or being nasty to him regardless of how hot he is. They never seem to particularly enjoy the sight of men or the male body in general, only a few particular men.
I guess thirsty teenage kpop fans are close to what I'm like but they seem to maintain a distant/idealized view on the men they thirst after that's completely absent in me. It's like, at least they have standards. I sorta do but they're not insane or specific like that.
No. 282573
>>282570MOST women irl put up with a lot for hot guys and talk perverted shit
you can correct me if im wrong but do you spend most of your time online, specifically lolcow or reddit?
there's a certain type of "female empowerment" that lusting over men is akin to degrading yourself or you having no standards or you being a handmaiden, etc, and women in these communities take it upon themselves to "correct" you for straying from their norm and will attempt to put you in your place
i'm sure you're familiar with
>ew you like that???>omg you have internalized misogyny>implying women who like casual sex are doing it because they're brainwashed into craving male approvali know it can feel isolating talking about lusting over men around certain kinds of women. just remember we do exist and there's lots of us out there.
No. 282580
>>282573well said. so, so, many men are absolute scum, but unless you're sincerely planning on joining a nunnery or otherwise vowing celibacy, how the fuck can you think it's healthy or in any way empowering to degrade and devalue a woman's honest to god sexual attraction to men?
it's a source of pleasure and happiness for a lot of women and it's not going away any time soon, so trying to snuff it out is only going to make women ashamed of themselves and sexually neurotic just like we've seen time and time again throughout history. just because you repackage ye olde stigma against women's sexuality (their real sexuality, not pandering to the male gaze disguised as women's sexuality) as a woke misandrist thing doesn't mean it's not going to play out the same as it always has.
some women seem to try to get around this not by vowing celibacy, but by only going for femdom with very non-masculine unaggressive dudes, but some of us aren't turned on by that and that doesn't make us handmaidens or bimbos.
i try to avoid talking about this much because i'm aware it sounds a little tradthot/muh femininity/straight people are oppressed now. but look at incels. yes incels and feminists are galaxies apart in terms of justified anger and morals, but that doesn't mean they can't have
ANY common problems. incels hate women but they're sexually attracted to them, so then they hate themselves for liking women and hate women even more for
making them hate themselves. i don't believe women could ever take it to the entitled and cruel level that misogynists do, but they can still end up in a cycle of hate/self-hate and that's not worth sacrificing any part of yourself for.
No. 282649
File: 1534663977972.jpeg (46.46 KB, 237x337, 436208DF-28C3-431E-AE01-AA3784…)
Some stupid fucker that promised to be my best friend in the world, which we were for 5 years. We hung out almost every day for all this time. He told me all of a sudden we can’t be friends anymore now that he’s dating someone else.
He refuses to answer any of my texts asking him what I did wrong and refuses to give me back any of my stuff I left at his house. I have a couple 100$ worth of stuff there.
This is a vent thread so I’m just going to say I feel so fucking betrayed. He’s dating a 19 year old girl 7 years younger than him now.
No. 282653
>>282649fuck that noise, show up at his house and get your shit back
you don't have to confront him necessarily, just say "hey yo I'm just here to get my stuff"
then cut him out of your life.
No. 282657
>>282656I'm sorry what the fuck, what possible reason could he have to hold on to it
If you really want that stuff back, I would consider getting the cops involved
it would end everything permanently but who cares at this point
No. 282660
>>282658yeah I'd get the cops involved then
I will say that not all guys are like that obviously
though my one guy friend views gifts as things he can control after they're given, it's weird. I've had to tell him
multiple times that no he can't take back gifts from someone just because he's had a falling out with them jfc
No. 282664
>>282660Huge warning signal from that guy tbh.
No I have an excellent boyfriend and father so I understand not all men are shitheads, I just think they always have an ulterior motive being your friend. I trusted this guy with my life and he fucked me over
No. 282675
>>282573>>282582>MOST women irl put up with a lot for hot guysThat's the point, I don't put up with shit just for "hot" guys, I'll put up with a bad personality for any eye candy around lol
I do spend a lot of time online, but I don't really feel that way here at all. On the contrary, I feel like lc is one of the few places we can be sorta open about this.
I have friends, and I'm basically your average humanities college girl (so more sexually active than average butt still on the tame side of my group) and as far as I can tell from people not on my regular social circle, my behavior is not common, and neither is my interest. Me and my girl friends are what a regular person would consider a "slut".
>>282575>>282580This is a very good way to look at things, anons, thank you! Guess I'll never know if my libido s higher than average but the issue I'm really having is with acting on it/talking about it and how it's not socially acceptable.
No. 282748
>>282676same, but especially because i know i really am kind of incompetent. i hate that i'm basically shit PR for our sex. like, it's not my fault i suck and i wish i sucked less, but i just really wish i could suck without it affecting other women.
so many men can be useless garbage and everyone just thinks "that one guy is kinda shitty at his job" and that's the end of it. it's terrible knowing you're shit at stuff and knowing you'll be used as a yardstick to measure ALL women and denigrate all of them just because you're personally incompetent
No. 282928
File: 1534711577794.png (74.65 KB, 637x462, 1533411582579.png)
I have gained about 20lbs these past two years and it really doesn't suite me at all, aside from my face. Normally I have a really gaunt, old looking face but since fattening up my face looks a lot younger and cuter. I am tired of looking so stumpy and frumpy but it is going to suck to have my old lady face back.
No. 282969
>>282307Bullet misses the brain, or damages parts that you can survive without.
Miscalculated overdose, or throwing up ingested poisons before a lethal dose can be absorbed.
Noose or support breaks.
Suicide is discovered in the act and prevented.
Hesitation cuts or missing an artery.
Incorrect type of drug used to overdose.
Jumping from not quite high enough.
We’re not really delicate or frail beings, as a species. If you’re not blowing out the entire back of your head with a shotgun or getting a hemicorporectomy via train it’s pretty easy to survive some horrific shit.
No. 283031
i feel so betrayed. i posted a few times over the course of the last two months, but my boyfriend recently cheated on me. i have since left him, but i'm really struggling with how everyone is still supporting him. i don't expect his friends to just stop being friends with him, but it really hurts that everybody sees him cheating and treating me like trash as just a "dumb mistake." they've all forgiven him, as if it's their place to forgive him for anything.
he never treats his friends the way he treated me. they all think he's such a great guy–sure he's charming and all, but he actually treated me so badly. and none of them ever saw that, so…i don't know. it just sucks so badly to know the truth about who he is as a person while he's playing the victim in the situation and trying to blame everything on me. i was hurt, but now i'm just angry. i told them what he would say or do to me. they know everything, and still, they want to be his friend and support him. on one hand i get it, it wasn't their relationship and they didn't see firsthand how he was, to them he's just a good friend. on the other hand, i told them everything! why would you want to be friends with such a manipulative asswipe?
i'm doing okay for the most part but when i think about how he's probably making me out to be the bad guy to all of his friends i get so fucking frustrated. i wasn't. i never was. i gave everything and more to him, just for him to wind up cheating and lying and laughing at my feelings.
i'm so pissed.
No. 283046
>>283042>>283044IMO, a lot of stuff posted there is for the content (relatively unappealing deformed stylization, race-washing, design choices) and not necessarily technique or skill level. Like the art is bad, but not necessarily the drawing, if that makes sense? I wouldn’t use it as a comparison for your own art.
Honestly, if you’re genuinely less skilled and inexperienced (or just have poor self-esteem) to the point you’re comparing yourself to the worst of that thread, you can try to devote yourself to careful still life studies or breakdowns of anatomy or studying designs of masters for a couple of days or even weeks. Innate talent or lack of thereof doesn’t do much if you’re not doing technique focused work. Plus it’s easy to stop caring about how shit you are when you’re grinding out drawings of curtains or apples.
Anyway, I empathize a lot. I feel shitty about my own art (and age, even though I’m relatively young—amazing artists seem to show up younger and younger now through social media) and it hurts me to the point I’m too scared to even pick up a pencil lately and doodle something in the margins. It also exacerbates everything else I hate about myself, which seems so unlike anyone else I know who is serious about art. The only thing that really helps is distancing myself from feeling emotional and going to study/technique focused periods like I mentioned above.
No. 283082
File: 1534745074710.jpeg (40.99 KB, 583x654, B7F183CC-FD82-4707-BC9E-DB5C23…)
I applied for a job online and didn’t see the resume button
So I went forward and thought it was weird they didn’t ask any of my previous job information
Then realized after I submitted it
Now…there’s no way I’ll get a call back i feel dumb
No. 283098
File: 1534749452914.jpeg (33.19 KB, 600x422, 40AA5CD4-7BA0-449B-9C5E-E95C35…)
Just found out my crush at work is banging another girl at work. Said girl is super sweet so I can’t totally hate. She’s also from Ireland (we’re in America) and her last day was this Saturday but he apparently has plans to visit her in Ireland. Idk if this will ever come into fruition but shit sucks.
No. 283143
>>283138Some people are just nice and empathetic to the point that it completely overshadows their reason and they support transactivism. It's a principle that is dumb and wrong but it is conceivable that their heart is in the right place and they just have given the idea zero critical thought.
I find that generally applies to girls though, if a dude is dating a tranny I just assume he fetishizes it.
No. 283147
>>283143yeah, exactly. definitely more a thing for women.
i mean, keanu seems fine and all, whatever, but i HIIIIGHLY doubt he's sooo empathetic that it's making him fuck chauvinistic dudes. if he's such a nice guy, he can fuck the literally millions of avg looking to unattractive women in the US that have been screwed over and abused and treated like shit, etc, if he wants to be such an empathetic angel, tbh…
he just a chaser
No. 283332
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kek
No. 283556
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idk if I should post this here or in the TERF/gender critical thread. A man I've casually known for a while recently came out to me as transgender. While we were talking the other day he told me it was transphobic to make a joke about how I thought dicks were disgusting and I wanted nothing to do with them as a lesbian. I could tell he was somewhat taken aback when I didn't immediately grovel at his feet and apologize for my 'transgression'. I was surprised at myself how furious I felt after. It's been on my mind ever since and I feel more and more furious over being expected to 'apologize' for being an actual lesbian. The insanity of being expected to lie to this man and tell him that his penis is a "girl penis" and therefore somehow not disgusting to me. That by injecting hormones and wearing a dress, he's suddenly a real woman and allowed in my dating pool and I should find him sexually attractive. It's made me realize how fucking sick I am of most of my 'friends'.
I realized how much I fucking hate having to hide my real thoughts on everything and have to toe the line not to offend their buzzfeed pop culture tier feminist queer studies sensibilities. I'm sick of having to smile and say nothing when they talk about being genderqueer how they're totally 'gay' because they're in some BDSM polyamorous relationship. I hate how they all turned to me one night, talking about how I was a 'good' lesbian because I'd date a transwoman (I wouldn't) and not some filthy "terf". I felt my heart sink in that moment, knowing none of these people, people I've known for years, truly accept me. I'm coming to realize, I'm better off being alone than being around people who'd expect me to apologize for being who I am. I used to be so afraid of speaking out, saying the 'wrong' thing and being excommunicated. But now It's like the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I truly don't care anymore. Fuck them.
No. 283583
>>283576This is like, bordering on delusional if you’ve used a condom AND he didn’t cum.
Just get on the pill and take it properly. If you still think you’re knocked up despite having zero reason to think you are, gonto therapy.
Swear to god 90% of the problems mentioned in these threads are from people who very obviously need a psychologist.
No. 283633
>>283631Why don’t they go see one then?
When the person who’s mental is saying they think they’re unwell, how is getting therapy not the obvious next step?
Why come ask the other crazies if they also have delusions about pregnancy, obvious eating disorders, or whatever other batty shit comes up?