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Last thread: >>312676
Need to talk?
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I'm in the same boat anon, messed up part is I didn't give up and we ended up doing lewd things together, what's even more messed up is I don't feel a shred of guilt about it and will probably do it again, there's just something so lewd and taboo about stealing someone
I doubt he's even remotely interested in me and he's way out of my league. Same with his gf actually.
>what's even more messed up is I don't feel a shred of guilt about it
I'm not even considering doing anything like that and I already feel guilty about it, so that's definitely not going to happen
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during a fight my sister, who’s had body image issues for a long time, she called me fat and pulled at my belly and accused me of sucking in my fat, etc., typical ana-chan projection because i like to think i’m not the miserable fatty-chan she thinks i am.
i have no idea but this stuck with me and now i’ve been purging almost every meal for over a month because i can’t get the image of her grabbing my belly and screaming about how horrible i look and pulling up her shirt to show her slightly more flat stomach.
i have been lying to my therapist and counselors fronting like i’m okay and normal and progressing when i’m jamming a toothbrush down my throat 4+ times a day to yak up whatever’s left in me. typical wannarexic shit, ya know?
and i’m terrified to go get my teeth cleaned now because i’m afraid a dental hygenist might notice my throat or something. i want to believe i am getting better and progressing but i always seem to find a way to ruin it for myself lololol i hate myself so much.
No but it's akin to thinking every interaction with a male has to result in love or a relationship and that wanting sex is a big no no.
My principle is that being love obsessed is stupid and that there's more things to consider in a relationship
Being love obsessed is stupid, but the>steal your man
Meme is JUST as stupid. Nobody owns anyone. Let things happen when they happen. There is no "prize" in letting someone stick their dick in you. Men are less loyal than dogs, so "stealing" is shamefully easy…both of you can chill on the whole thing. You can't say loyalty doesn't matter and then imply you get rich from shagging dudes. For 99.99999% of us that is not the case
Tl;dr don't give the men what they want by pretending they are a valuable prize, and giving them free sex without commitment/belittling commitment itself. One of you "Disney" anon is romantic, the other thinks there is financial gain in men, neither of those things is true. Just enjoy your life and don't worry about men.
Anon, take it from someone who knows: purging will not give you the results you want.
The constant vomiting will damage your teeth. If you want a snapshot of the future, google "bulimia teeth" and take a look. I'm not even going to attach the images because it's that fucking disgusting.
It will give you open sores all over your mouth and gums, as you're probably already realizing.
It will give you this weird chipmunk cheeks. No matter how thin you get, your face will still look fat because your cheeks will be swollen. This is one of the reasons bulimic women still believe they're fat even when they're skelly.
Stop purging. If you want to lose weight then focus on a proper diet and exercise. That's the only way to get thin without a host of gross side effects.
Also your sister is a bitch.
I've experienced this, too, but I don't feel good or smug about it, I just see it as an inevitable, sad fact of life. I know in my heart the girl didn't deserve it, she was just unfortunate that he and I felt so drawn to each other. It happens. Sometimes, two people connect, and that's it. It's over for everything else. The spark can't be contained.
A lot of people blame the other woman for "stealing the man" and wrecking things, but it takes two. It doesn't mean you're some hot Stacy, or a master manipulator, if a guy ditches his girl for you. It just means he's unhappy. It can happen to you when you think you're safe, too.
Genuine question for you and other anon, how to prevent this from happening?
My plans include:>financially supporting him>giving him as much attention as I can when not working or partaking in my hobbies>worshiping his existence (give him gifts, depict him in artwork, writing poetry, etc.)>having sex as much as possible (not a sacrifice don't worry lol)
Would these be good enough or are all men cheaters, as other anons have said?
Preventing him from leaving the house or permanently scarring him seems abusive and I wouldn't want to do that.
Well…I would if he agreed, but it would be morally wrong otherwise.
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I'm this anon >>323372
and to tell you the truth I can't really say what makes men stay or what makes them cheat all I know is that most will cheat if the opportunity arises and they click with the person that's tempting them, nothing can be done about that, you just need to find someone who loves you enough that they'll stick with you through thick and thin and you make sure that you don't take that person for granted.
My intentions weren't to make the guy cheat but it kind of just happened
I don't know how you or any woman that does that can be with a guy that did that to a girl because it's highly likely that he will do that to you too and then you'll have a different opinion of this. Cheaters will always cheat.
I was in a similar position but the moment he proposed to dump his long term gf over me, all my respect for him went down the drain.
I know I will sound like an incel but I sometimes wish people took a stronger commitment with relationships. I feel most of it is because guys date whoever they can until they find a better catch to upgrade.
But the blame isn't solely on guys. Women that are accomplices in cheating should be ashamed. Sometimes I wish there was a database where you could register cheaters. I wish we could go back to shaming such people but in these progressive times and sexual liberation, it's nigh impossible for any repercussions, and there should be.
Imagine wasting a long time with someone who can't wait to ditch you for someone better despite you doing best to please them and that goes for both genders.
Eh, you could pamper him as much as you want and it still could happen. In fact, it could be smothering and actually push him towards other girls.
There's nothing you can do short of crossing your fingers or basically push toward a really toxic relationship (fully supporting him -if done so he won't see other girls-, could be construed as that )
thank you for the reply anon ; feels good to have somebody listen and not fake nicey-nice.
she does this a lot with remarks here and there about how teeny/smol uwu and petite she is compared to me; how she always wants to wear the xxs and 0 pants and the stores NEVER carry her size haha she’s small tell her she’s thin
anyways i try to avoid her moreso and keep to myself and it’s kind of helped, but i just can’t stop thinking about it. i also feel ashamed because it’s so vain and i should be more mature
etc etc. and she WANTS the reaction from me.
CAN CONFIRM THIS; I was the “other woman” turned girlfriend, and was cheated on after a month.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
>>323447>>323451>if you love him he'll hate you
FUCK, why are men so complicated? Why do I have to play mind games with them?
They complain about women not being simple and straightforward, but then fuck us over when we are.
I wanted to do these things regardless of cheating prevention, but I guess I'm not allowed. Do you have to mix in insults and beratings in with the romance? How do you communicate with these creatures?
As an aside I'm interested in unconventional men, manlets if you will. Would that help deter other women generally from approaching them? 5'4" and below is what I'm talking about.
>>323442>But the blame isn't solely on guys
It is.>women that are accomplices need to be ashamed too
This is so silly. Nobody else is responsible for someone's cheating boyfriend or husband. Sometimes the other women don't even know or aren't sure.
Blame's rightful place is solely on the shoulders of the person breaking the trust of the person whom they chose to swear loyalty and vows to.
And believe you me, if it were a woman doing the cheating, nobody would be looking at the man with whom she cheated and be pointing fingers at his supposed part in the blame. Nobody buys reductive blaming when a woman does something shitty, and it shouldn't be bought when a man does it either.>>323440
Agreed. I've known men who've cheated and I've never considered them viable partners for that reason.
It's an entitlement and responsibility problem, and those problems rarely resolve in time because they're personality flaws.>>323457
Ntayrt, but I think men with self-esteem issues would be more likely to consider cheating as a form of validation. As long as they're confident manlets maybe.
Imo anon, if you give a man too much off the bat, he'll take you for granted. Then if he winds up cheating on top of that, you'll end up feeling taken advantage of for being such a great support and romantic partner to someone who evidently didn't deserve it. I can't say what will or will not happen, but don't go setting yourself up for too much heartbreak.
Just know that if
infidelity happens, it happens because of the inner bullshit of the cheater. It has nothing to do with what you did/didn't do. A caring and responsible person either talks about the problems openly, or ends the relationship before cheating occurs.
We're not talking about abused people.
What an oddly specific strawman, did you cheat in an abusive relationship or something? Yeah, I don't think people have sympathy for abusers but that's clearly not what we're talking about here honey child.
Is it official Neopets art?
Weird how there's red party cups on the floor and the room is in disarray, almost like a metaphor for depressed drunkards.
Lmao, god damn you're on the attack aren't you?
Never been cheated on, no. Sorry.
If you're cheating in an abusive relationship, that seems risky considering you're likely to receive more abuse if the abuser found out you cheated on him.
Sounds dumb all around, like a great way to be murdered.
I do think both parties are at fault. If someone helps a robber without being forced or at a gunpoint, they're guilty too, no? And a person of any sex can be the one betraying the trust so it doesn't alleviate the guilt from women one way or the other.
I do agree that women get a way harsher treatment for cheating.>>323466
When people think of cheating they definitely don't think of someone being in an abusive relationship. That's really whataboutism. Most cheaters usually have a loving partner that doesn't suspect anything or pretends not to.
Have bulimia teeth,don’t do it.
I need dentures in my late 20s, anon. Stop purging yesterday if you can.>>323440
They don’t care. If they’re defending being ‘the other woman’ it’s more to do with them hating other women and behaving as badly as the men they blame. Just grotty people all round.
“This guy cheated on his wife to be with me, so clearly he’s really loyal and good at commitment. This relationship will work out fine”
There’s a reason homewreckers are usually portrayed as bimbos. They’re all dumb.
Good for you, you deserved it.>>323492
Women who think that way are dumb as bricks. Bonus points if the husband they cheated on had an older wife they 'left' for the mistress.
i agree that it really is a measure of dedication to stay and work through it, but barring like, feeling hated and rejected by your partner and retaliating out of spite or doing it just
to feel wanted, or being on crack, i can't see forgiving my partner for cheating and moving on. cheating is dangerous and for people that aren't so impulsive and oversexed, they can't imagine having sex with friends or whatever. and cheating out of genuine desire means you're obviously checking out of the relationship anyways, and at the point, you may as well just have some kind of companionship that's basically downgraded to friendship, which is fine and possible. if i cheated because i really wanted another guy (which i can't imagine), i wouldnt expect my partner to stay. for other reasons, like using impulsive sex that you don't even want to have as a way to self-harm when feeling rejected or something, i can understand, however.
there's nothing wrong with drawing the line at cheating tho.
You're chastising people for being upset that their partner betrayed their trust? For real?
They're mourning the loss of the person they thought they knew. Clearly the fix isn't just to get back together lmao.
You seem to not realize that people can have mixed feelings about a situation and a person. And yeah, some people are whinier than others. So just don't be friends with those people if it annoys you.
And fucking your friend when you're in a committed relationship isn't a little mistake, just like hitting your partner isn't a little mistake. It's a conscious decision that one knows can/will hurt their s/o.
I'm glad your standards are such that you're fine with someone lying to you and possibly bringing an STD home, but some people just are not. So like I said, don't befriend those people and you won't have to put up with it.
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Alright ladies, if you want the guy who is least likely to cheat he's a young, Hispanic, not higher educated, conservative guy raised with two parents who attends church at least a few times a year.
Thank me later.
Yeah they should totally stay with someone they can no longer trust instead of having some self respect and accepting some scumbag fucking whoever they want. Jfc anon what is wrong with you?
Cheating is such a common deal breaker it’s weird to be okay with it.
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I'm the type that never sugarcoat words and say the truth or at least my honest opinion when asked and being careful to not come off as an ass because I feel rly bad with lying, sugarcoating, faking a smile and it also feels like a thing people who aren't trustworthy do I have seen so many times people ass-kissing and pretending to be nice or supportive with others to later destroy them behind the scenes, some people I know fo that and it makes me sick and cringe but I think it makes people and friends stay away from me…
Lmao I've been with my bf for 10 years and I would dump him in a heartbeat if he cheated on me.
Sleeping with someone behind your partners back is disgusting in so many ways.
Actually, if you look it up you'll see that most marriages continue after an affair is known. It's not about self-respect, it's about how devoted you are to your marriage. Crazy as it sound most married people don't want to drop the person they want to spend the rest of their life with over minor indiscretions.>>323533
Where do I say they're wrong for being upset? What I find ridiculous is dumping them then freaking out over the breakup as if it was forced upon you and you don't have the option to continue. If you're happy in a relationship otherwise, why throw it away?
Not to mention, like I said- if a guy knows you'll dump him for cheating all that means is you're less likely to find out about it. The next guy will just make sure to never admit it.
Yeah but are you an asshole about it, like, sorry that’s just how I am or do you keep it to yourself unless it’s productive?
Everyone avoids the people who are blunt and critical just for the sake of it.
Because it’s not a happy or healthy relationship worth saving if one person cheats. What’s so hard to grasp about that?
You sound like you’re grasping to justify your own cheating lol. You feeling bad?
Don't get me wrong, I dislike people who are blunt/harsh just for the sake of it and most of the times I keep it to myself and I never use the "that's how I am and deal with it", it's only when needed because I really dislike faking being nice and lying
I had some people do this "it's the harsh truth!!1!11" with me and then have a meltdown after not being told what they wanted to lol
Or maybe I just take the concept of marriage very seriously and don't live in a fantasy world where you can expect your spouse to be 100% perfect your entire lifetime together? Maybe the idea of leaving the man I'm madly in love with and committed my entire life to over something I would get over within a couple years is just really hard to make sense of?
Also, plenty of people who've had indiscretions still have happy and healthy relationships after they get past it. Not sure why you're so insistent it's completely impossible.
Also, in regard to your baseless speculation- I've never been dumped for cheating once in my entire life, so no, this isn't a stance out of bitterness or guilt. Nice try. Though, I can't blame you for speculating, since I myself assumed maybe you left someone you subconsciously wish you hadn't but can't deal with the idea that you might have made a mistake.
Ahahaha what kind of people do you live around that you think cheating is inevitable?
Are you just a serial cheater who thinks because you can’t do monogamy nobody can?
Do you think every single man alive is an animal incapable of basic self control?
That’s a fucking sad way to be anon.
Why do you think cheating should be minor?
Breaking a marriage vow seems like perfectly good reason to leave the spouse. They’ve already chosen to throw the marriage away long before the one cheated on left.
Just because you’re okay with a partner fucking anyone they can and then coming home to you with whatever diseases on their junk doesn’t mean anyone else should be okay with it. Some of us respect ourselves more than that.
>>323566>If you're happy in a relationship otherwise, why throw it away?
I was correct, you truly cannot conceive of someone having complex feelings about a person/situation. It's black and white.>>323568>>323581
Most likely she's baiting. She should've put it in the unpopular opinion thread, it's a bit out of place here to say "cheating is fine, suck it up."
This, she's just making us more upset about it if anything.
80% of men haven't cheated, I should add. That's the majority.>>323536
It’s insulting that trolls are this dumb.
>I take marriage more seriously that you who dislike cheaters!>breaking a wedding vow and fidelity is no biggie.
Like at least put in some effort and have a single point to push instead of being inconsistently contrarian, defending something retarded.
>>323583>points I disagree with must be bait>vents I disagree with should be in the unpopular opinion thread>saying it's dumb to act like you're mandated to leave your husband over cheating under any circumstance = saying cheating is completely fine>>323586
When the fuck did I ever try to convince people to stay if someone cheats or condone it let alone "love it"? I literally just said don't fucking whine constantly to me about how much you miss them for months as if breaking up was mandatory. And if you don't care, then don't reply?
I am done, though. Between the baseless assumptions and how intensely you guys are putting words in my mouth ignoring any clarification, there's really no point in continuing. Enjoy your ~self-respect~ and false sense of assurance you're less likely to get an STD than people like me as if you're magically any less susceptible to be cheated on just because your partner knows you'll dump them.
Go whine somewhere where someone will care. You’re boring and your points are stupid and contradictory.
You sound as smart as an incel.
Wedding vows emphasize sticking together through anything more than anything else. They also rarely say anything referencing infidelity.
Not that I'm criticizing anyone for leaving a cheater, I'm just saying that technically divorce is a greater breach of vows than cheating.
Yikes. Hoping Japan isn't poisoned yet with sjw shit. I didn't even know they had trannies there tbh.
>Shes also getting trained to be a supervisor, but I have no idea why.
People who end up as supervisors often times never deserve it or are even up to par for the job. This seems to be a running trend.
It’s not bad usually. It’s a really casual, laid back place and it’s super easy, we can talk about whatever we want. The customers range from beginner to advanced. I can pick my days off unless we’re super short staffed, but the pay is crap of course. The worst part is that I’m actually an introvert so sometimes I’m just not in the mindset to talk to people, and some customers are pretty degenerate. Some openly tell me they’d dump their Japanese girlfriend/boyfriend for a foreigner, or cheat. Some try to ask me or my coworkers out. One guy apparently thinks I’m annoying and hate Japan because I talked about getting groped, the audacity of me right!? This same guy told me he spends hours pretending to work just to get overtime, and that we should put elderly people into coffin-sized capsules hooked up to tubes to keep them alive, instead of care facilities or letting them live in their homes. Kek. Also some people are waaaaayyyyy too shy or quiet. I don’t know why they come when they don’t want to talk and if I try to talk about something or ask them a question they just respond with one word answers.
But yeah overall everybody is good, fun to talk to. Really depends on the shift and which customers you have.
First of all, nice satanic trips
Second of all, you're lucky to be diagnosed at a young age. Lots of people aren't diagnosed until much older. Focus on your mental health. You can find another guy, there's 3.5 billion of them, it's your warped mental state that's making you think you can't find another (no offense). But focus on your mental health first and stop talking to this guy.
You sound bpd as fuck ngl, but that dudes a dick and you're better off without him. Like the other anon said getting dx young is a blessing and gives you a lot of time to devote to therapy instead of ruining your 20s without a diagnosis or knowing what's wrong with you.
Forget about the meme loser guy and focus on yourself. Good luck anon.
>>323666>I feel undesirable and I feel like I'll never find someone that will truly love me with the issues that I have
You are 19. You're barely an adult, you have ages before any guy needs to 'truly love' you. And, no offense, but a < 3 month unofficial relationship that ended over some immature, high school tier drama says very little about how your romantic life is going to pan out. In 5 years you could be a totally different person, I know I was by 25.
Keep up the therapy and medication but stop fixating on that guy. He's a liar who wouldn't admit to dating you to his ex and that makes him someone not worth clinging to.
Lol what do you mean you don’t know what to do?
You stop fucking the married man and date an appropriate person. He’s not going to leave his wife to marry you and live happily ever after. He’s a cheating prick.
Walk away and don’t do something so gross again..duh.
Prolly keep eating and remember that being that skinny was shitty and made everyone around you irl sad or scared. It’s what I do.
I miss not being spooky to look at but I don’t miss going blind spontaneously either.
I know you have revenge fantasies about cheaters and everything (which isn't bad, just naive), but I said that here >It can happen to you when you think you're safe, too.
I'm not going to be surprised or angry if that happens. It's rare for love to last forever. In the end, life is better if you treat relationships like dessert, not the main course.
Not everyone does that, especially if they're dissatisfied with their relationship, but feel too trapped to say anything. It's either that, or they're just impulsive. In cases like the latter, it's kind of a blessing if the person wanders off while you're young, heal-able and can find someone new with relative ease.
It'd be fucking horrible to be married, 47 with four kids, and then find out your spouse is cheating.
First, you sound like you are glorifying cheating with the ~uwu sparks just fly, can't do anything~ narrative which is cringy and gross as fuck. I've last heard the bullshit when watching the Bold and the Beautiful with my grandma years ago kek. It's hard not to wish it to bite you in the ass when reading such crap.
If you knew he was in a relationship, you could have left him alone till he sorted it out. And yes, he is much more guilty than you (like 60% vs 40%% - just end the fucking relationship instead of pretending to still care and damaging the future ex even more), but it still does not make it right. I can't imagine knowing person I am interested in has a significant other and deciding to make a move on them (or kissing them, having sex or whatever). That's so dishonest and disgusting I could not look at myself in the mirror.
If you were unaware, that's a different situation, but does not seem so from your post and how little you give a fuck about the other woman.
And before you assume, I was not cheated on, but I find it vile and immoral in every way. Wonder if people like you would still be down with fucking someone else's SO if they had to personally deliver the news. 'Hi, just letting you know your bf does not love you anymore and I've been fucking him for weeks, please understand that this is just what happens when people truly connect, we could do nothing about it'.
I'm not defending it or trying to romanticize shit. It is not good, but it still happens. Life is full of bad, sad choices and unfortunate things happening. Sometimes, the person you love decides they love someone else. You can't do anything to stop them if their minds and hearts are set, and shaming that behavior doesn't make it nonexistent, it only lends it secrecy and a "taboo" factor. It's better to just save yourself, dip out and maybe find someone else too.
There's no point in trying to morally proselytize about this. Whether or not it disgusts you, it will continue to happen.
I'm not saying they deserve to be absolved, either. I'm just saying it happens, and all that can be done to minimize pain is leave, and cut those involved out of your life. Until it's considered a crime with applicable jail time, or vigilante anti-cheating lynch mobs start coming out, that's just how it is.>So be prepared for people like you and your bf being considered scum whether you like it or not.
You don't do something like this and expect to not
be considered scum, anon. I don't know where you're getting this idea that I think it's good or defensible, but that's not the case.
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My boyfriend just screamed at me. He was in my face pointing at me and I could feel his spit on my face. It was so scary. I started it. I yelled at him about something little and he asked me to leave him alone and I said sorry and didn’t leave so I feel like it’s my fault. He just kept shouting at the top of his lungs at me. I ask if screaming at me made him feel better and he said yes. He’s had a really hard couple of months and I haven’t so it’s my fault. I should have just left him alone. He said he’s sorry but I haven’t been screamed at like that since I was a kid. He said annoy him and boss him around and don’t listen to him, I agree. I know it’s bad that he treated me this way but I truly think he wouldn’t if I did the things he said.
He should take the test, since she sounds far more abusive than he does. She said that it's true that she bosses him around, she starts yelling at him and then acts like a poor little victim when he defends himself. >uwu I know it's my fault, I should just do what he says, but he's so scary, everbody pity me, cryinganimugirl.jpg
You're guilt tripping him, anon. Your words and tone hurt him too. If you can't handle getting shit back, then you shouldn't dish out in the first place.
If you'd looked at the tests on the site, they cover both the respondent's behaviours (the "am I a good partner?" quiz) and the behaviours of their partner (the "is my relationship healthy?" quiz).
>I started it, I should have just left it alone, he's had a hard few months while I haven't, it's all my fault, he says I'm bossy and annoying
sound a lot like the words of someone who's being emotionally/verbally abused.
also consider:>I haven't been screamed at like that since I was a kid.
It sounds like anon has a history of at least some kind of abuse, and is probably stuck in that toxic, dramatic, rollercoaster pattern in her current relationship. Anon definitely made poor choices, but if her boyfriend was actually sincere about being sorry there wouldn't be any "yeah it felt good to scream at you" bullshit.
That's a tactic many use. First being awful and then apologizing, acting as if they feel extremely guilty, talking bad about themselves, until the other person not only forgives them, but also feels like they are the one who's in the wrong.
She made a mistake and now tries to make him and us feel sorry for her.
Hinting that she was being screamed at =/= history of abuse.
Children can be awful and even the sweetest of parents sometimes snap.
Nowhere am I letting anon get off scot free, she made her own shitty decisions (both people in shitty, toxic relationships tend to be shitty and toxic, whodathunkit? But anon's obviously sensitive to any kind of criticism, so I'm trying to be gently constructive instead of ripping into her), the concerning bit is the fact that her boyfriend went off at her and said it felt good.
In healthy relationships, even if you get into the occasional shitfight, it shouldn't ever feel good to treat your partner terribly.
That, and raising your voice and being annoyed because he's not followed through on something he said he would (>>323807)
=/= getting up in her face and screaming at her and covering her in spit. That is an ABSOLUTE over reaction on his part. >>323835
Frustrated parents yelling at kids I can understand, but in-your-face screaming sessions (especially over petty shit) are abusive.
People who've been abused and haven't yet healed generally haven't put 2+2 together, and they're not exactly going to spill their guts over everything that's ever happened to them if they haven't made the proper connection.
What I hate about the cheaters is that they're so smug about it.
I can even understand that it happens, not that I excuse it in any way, but maybe some people find this perfect match that they're willing to ditch their current partner. It's honestly not a feat or an accomplishment to brag about. It just makes you sound like a dumb side hoe.>>323858
I don't care about that anon's self-worth. She should be judged just like the guy. I hope his wife finds out and rapes him in the courtroom. I have no sympathy for anons that do this.
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Having been the "other woman" when I was young and stupid, nothing good ever comes from a guy leaving someone for you. You simply become an easy way out of a relationship for an individual who isn't mature enough to be upfront about their dissatisfaction with it. And it's always a repeating pattern; both times it happened, I was eventually cheated on when they got bored and pursued someone else. It's not worth it and you arent going to change someone with the habit.
Love yourself and dont put yourself in that position because you're guaranteeing a bad outcome and future misery.
Stop it, anon. Men who have affairs almost always just want a new experience and once it's out of their system, they drop you and act like you don't exist. You're hurting an innocent person and gaining nothing from it but brief sexual gratification. You will also feel like shit over it as some point unless you're an actual sociopath.
Also, serious fucking warning to anyone having an affair with a married man or thinking about it- many wives will seek revenge on you and do whatever they can to fuck up your life. Or straight up[ physically attack you, and most likely get away with it as long as they don't fuck you up too bad because law enforcement is usually much more sympathetic to them than the homewrecker they kicked the shit out of.
Plus sometimes when the wife finds out she dumps the husband and then he comes crawling to you expecting you to be delighted.
I had a friend who was fucking a married man, and she said it was great because he didn't expect commitment since he was married. Wife finds out, dumps him, he shows up at my friend's door at 1am crying and saying he wants to be with her. She was a dumbass so she let him in, and then had to act like his bangmaid for the next week while he cried about missing his kids and expected her to comfort him. After that she threw him out too kek.
That anon is right. This is what psychologists will say about cheaters most of the time. Generally speaking, its the cheaters baggage that leads them to cheat not their partner. I knew someone whose husband said one of the reasons he cheated is because he felt like she prioritized her family too much. She spent time with her family a lot because he wasn't very emotionally supportive.
Basically, a cheater will look for any justification for their actions no matter how small. They also are the type to give very little in relationships but get upset if their partner starts to do the same because emotional neglect. My friend and I am had a good laugh the other day because we looked up her ex's past mistress online for fun and a mugshot popped up. Guess she's still the hot mess she used to be
This reminds of a scene in American Horror Story where the two main characters are fighting over the fact the husband cheated on his wife with a 21yo right after she had a miscarriage at 7 months. She gives this really heartbreaking detailed rant about how she had to carry the dead baby for 16 days then give birth to a corpse. He responds by saying ~he was hurting too~ and it was her fault he cheated because she bought a dog to try to somewhat ease her suffering and should have been paying more attention to him instead.
At the time I thought that scene was unrealistic, but after seeing first hand how far some men will go to justify their cheating as opposed to taking responsibility, I now know it's tragically accurate.
The forests aren’t being maintained properly, the dead and overgrown brush needs to be removed because it’s a huge fire hazard. It’s like how areas that are in hurricane zones have their trees trimmed or the dead ones removed so they don’t fall onto anything important
Trump is a jerk but what he said was right and people have been complaining about it for a while.
Basically what this >>323907
But Trump has been cutting funding to the National Forest Service whose main job it is to manage forest fires. People are going to have to, gasp, pay more resources to the government if they want to manage this problem.
Also climate change is making fires worse
I’m not stupid and I never said I don’t feel bad for middle class families
I feel for people who CANT afford to replace the items they lost
I feel bad for people who lost their lives
I don’t have much sympathy for rich people who can easily replace 90% of their possessions
Of course there’s sentimental value in items and yeah they can’t get those back
But everyone has sentimental items they lost and more
And FYI ive looked more than twitter and Facebook like that other anon said
I agree, I hope for the same for anon.
rot in hell
Don't worry anon, I am aware it sounds bad. But at this point, I really can't abandon him. He doesn't have any friends besides me and he suggested he would stop living if I ever ghosted him. I also still like him so much, more than anyone else.>>323981
I understand, yes. I was thinking about moving in with him but I am honestly really scared of his brother (he hates women and he regularly severely injures my bf).>>323984
I know, this is not the smartest decision.
>>323992> he suggested he would stop living if I ever ghosted him.
He won't even leave his family to live with you. What makes you think he would kill himself and leave them behind?
Men are always threatening to kill themselves to manipulative women into leaving. Stop letting yourself believe his bullshit.
dude this is textbook manipulation you're falling for. "I don't have anyone but you~ I'll kill myself if we break up" like almost every girl has dated a fuckboy like this and guess what, they never fucking kill themselves and turns out they do have friends and family. you said yourself he doesn't want to move to see you because he doesn't want to leave his family, why would you think he'd kill himself? get a fucking grip.
and on the .1% he did try suicide, guess what? it's still not your fault. it's literally abuse to cry about suicide to keep people from leaving you.
Anon, listen, one year ago I was kicked to the curb by my online friend (we had a bizzare friends with benefits thing, something like being in an online relationship without him calling it one - very unhealthy because of my too strong attachment and his fuckboy ways). I felt suicidal and terrible because I had only him beyond 1 friend but never tried to put my suicidal thoughts against him, I let him leave (though it was hard as fuck to me and I struggled with the idea, I was shrieking like an exorcised demon). Because of the breakdown of the relationship my live-in bf found me and I am so glad I don't have the fuckboy friend in my life. I assume he is also better not having a girl willing to change her life for his shut-in, disabled ass when he just wanted to fuck around kek.
I am not saying that your bf will find a gf close to him immediately, but there are good sides to leaving an bullshit online ldr. A lot of this depends on him waking up to deal with his shit. I am sorry he is living in an abusive home but how come he is not willing to change his life?
Also note I did not pull of the suicide (even though my mental health was pretty close to an all time low) cause it's hard to pull off properly and I am a pussy. Bet said can be said about your bf.
>>324019>weight loss fails >body posi >articles
I'm a fattychan too and where do you find this stuff slamming you in the face everyday? Granted I only have facebook.
All mental issues should be properly addressed before you start a weight loss journey, or else yes, you are almost guaranteed to fail. I dropped 90 pounds but then gained it all back and then some because of my shitty ex, job and relationship stress, and being depressed because of the former. I had no ways to positively cope, and when I reached out for therapy I got a 300 pound hamplanet social worker who didn't take me seriously and canceled my second session for an extended fast food lunch. No joke, and guess who never reached out for help again. Everyone around me told me my weight gain wasn't noticeable until it suddenly was. Now I'm too far in the hole to resolve the issue just by a month or two of serious dieting and exercise. It would take me years, fucking again. And I don't have anyone who would realistically support me.
Fix it before it's too late, that's all I got to say.
>>324023>a bunch of words on a screen sent by a loser who is too far away for you to even see
Me everitime I had an online friend, or was pursued online
I think Anon should do research on LDR. There's a lot of Youtubers who have had them, check out the videos. Especially the ones on why it didn't work.
Being courted by words on a screen is very different from irl. I am yet to meet a man who was the same in real life. The worst one groomed me for 9 hours a day for a whole week. He seemed obsessed with me, we got along like a house on fire…supposedly. When we met he looked like a hobo, was only attractive from specific angles, barely spoke to me and then bundled me into a taxi to take me to an unfamiliar place, to have weirdly aggressive but brief sex that I didn't really agree to.
I had a friend for 6 years online. We spoke every day via text, it was a close friendship. When I started publicly posting asking our mutual friends why he wouldn't meet me, he had a breakdown, threatened suicide, and then got furious when I subtweeted him and vaguely threatened me. (we never met, obviously)
I sorta online dated a guy for a couple months. We sent hundreds of messages and emails all through the day. He wrote very thoughtful emails and apparently had a lot of emotions about me. I was dating an irl guy at the same time, and online guy dared(!) to guilt trip me about that and made an ultimatum of it. Obviously I kept seeing irl guy and online guy stopped talking to me (despite being apparently so interested)
Men are SO different in real life. Date the real life guy and just don't tell online guy. Don't lose out on real experiences for something that may not pan out.
I have so many more of these but trust me. Go for irl guy(s). >>324021
I mean, she might be videochatting with him and going on voice calls, but your point still stands.
I am so mad that this guy is keeping her captive despite having nothing to offer and wasting het time - and she goes with it
All your advice is valid but
>Date the real life guy and just don't tell online guy.
That's kind of shitty.
Sort of; but like other anons have said the LDRs are often not "real" in terms of impact or longevity. I suspect the guy is messaging all day so it would make it difficult to do both anyway, (6 year guy would eventually accuse me of shagging random guys we knew if I didn't respond immediately) but outright dumping would put pressure on irl guy in the immediate moment (before anon realizes the ldr was probably not going anywhere)
Also based on what she posted he is gonna freak out/pretend to freak out (apparent suicidal etc) and it may be a lot easier for anon to avoid that stress in the immediate future. If things end up serious with irl guy she can slowly drop online guy. Obviously being deceptive is not cool, but in avoidance of all the expected emotional manipulation it's a good idea on the short term.
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>do drugs and alcohol because no one will respect me
>no one will respect me because of drugs and alochol
Anyway, I'm hated, and it's okay!! and I'm really crossfaded right now, awesome!
I'm not American, and I don't smoke weed, cheers anon!
I just feel really weird right now, my head is so weird, wtf wow!
Nobody respects you because drugs and alcohol are fucking lame unless you're just smoking weed and you said you aren't so. Makes sense.
Also you look like a guy posting ugly anime reaction images like this.
It always makes me cringe when I see somebody posting some cute little anime girl being sad or anime girls hugging etc (comes across as tranny-like; on cc it's more rampant than here, they constantly post some "yeah, internet hug, i love you so much!“ shit. Ew.)
Look at those pictures and then imagine what the average lc user who posted this looks like. Some weeb women in her 20s, maybe some mental problems, maybe even a NEET…
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I wish some anons would realize LC wouldn't even exist if it weren't for weebs. This is a /cgl/ offshoot made so weeaboos could talk shit about other weeaboos. Our main board is called /pt/ for a reason. Things like anime reaction images are part of the package. For all intents and purposes, if you hate anime, Japanese fashion or anything even approaching weeb territory, you're in the wrong place. It's a weeaboo imageboard (and the concept of imageboards itself is inherently weeb shit, it came from 2ch).
Just make your own "no anime allowed" women's imageboard on 8chan or something if animu is such a trigger, not that hard.
stop dating this guy. no rational adult would get OFFENDED you're not invested in his shit-tier weeb anime, no matter how much he likes it. he can be internally upset about it, but not so much as to visibly get mad at you for not taking interest in something. you don't have to like his shows just bc he makes you binge them.
i relate to you. i find it incredibly hard to make friends with weebs today because they're all into new anime, mostly shounen (i fucking hate new shounen, it bores me to death and it all looks and feels the same to me), so i can never discuss the shows i like with them bc they've either never heard of them or don't watch anything that isn't shounen. it lowkey sucks.
This literally sounds like my teenage weeaboo boyfies and I do not regret in the slightest that I swithed to dating normies.
recommend you do the same
dump him already, he seems like an obnoxious child >>324316
Agreed. I relate to both you and the other anon as well, modern anime specially shonen and these with gore fest or oversexualized girls/pedobait is boring and cringy as fuck and even the anime I enjoy from the 90's and early 2000's I can't watch more than one episode a day and also I'm not obsessed with it like the weebs nowadays. I had a massive weeb classmate who was extremely obsessed with anything
about anime and japan and seemed like they binge-watched any title just to brag how into it they were or to show off how many shows they've watched, kek
I agree with both you and the anon you are replying to. I am not against all anime and weeb shit, quite the opposite and it is very annoying anons here sperging about hating on ~the smelly weebs~ aka anyone remotely interested in Japanese popculture. Lolcow was built for weebs so it's bizzare to see people sperg out for no reason.
At the same time I hate mindless posting of reaction images from lolicon shit, sexualised moe girls and so on.
Is male poster?
I was not exclusive with the online guy, or the irl guy, so no cheating was happening.
I'm not male! I just am really fucking lame, thanks.
I just searched anime shrug and it was the option there. It's literally just a picture, you ladies need to take a few and chill down, jesus christ.
I feel the same, I'm nearly running when walking, sweating like hell, because I feel so awfully stared at.
Whenever somebody in class laughs I can't help but think that they're making fun of me.
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I've fallen hard for this girl I'm 80% sure doesn't even like girls. I want to tell her how I feel just to get it off my chest and finally have 100% confirmation that It's never going to happen so I can work on getting over her. But at the same time I'm scared telling her I like her will make her not want to be friends anymore, which would devestate me. From the moment we met I just felt this instant kinship with her. I used to think love at first sight was bullshit, but now I don't know anymore. We've known each other a year and a few months now. I wish I could tell her how special she is to me, even as a friend, without possibly creeping her out. I'm so scared of losing her.
How does me saying you were cheating make me a male? wat>>Not exclusive
Anon you're either with them or not are you like in a shitty open relationship or something
The way I see it: I'm gonna age regardless so I can either find the beauty in it, or choose to feel like shit over something I don't have any realistic control over.
I think all the younger girls talking about how late 20s and 30s is "old" are gonna have it bite them in the ass once they get there themselves. I never got the obsession.
Well said, anon! Very much agreed.
I'm 33 and do believe that my prime looks were probably 25-30 but my actual life was kind of a mess. I'm in a much more secure place emotionally, physically, financially, and my career is really starting to take off. I feel like this is ultimately so much more important.
Also just wanted to add one little thing, I think a major component to a person's attractiveness is how they carry themselves. It may be a little 'woo' to say, but I do believe carrying around a spiteful/bitter/negative attitude does show on your face over time and it looks like absolute shit.
>>323522>him confessing to fucking his friend a couple times
Why stay dedicated and loyal to someone like that?
Or if you are gonna cheat too, why not just have an open relationship or be poly or something?
Thanks for this post anon, it made me angry, because I was (am) sure I love my online bf and it pushed me to finally seriously talk to him. I had to hung up on him several times because he would always start crying/begging me to live on a farm with him. After few hours he decided to pay for my plane tickets next weeks so we can look for apartment in the city nearby. Thank you, I would proabably get coerced into living with his family if it wasn't for you.>>324100
I agree with you. I have met my bf irl two times before, and I like his personality better irl, but well, he looks older in natural light.
yeah, this behavior is just plain pathetic. i was in a shitty relationship with someone who behaved similarly since he’d cry and whine like a pathetic bitch over disagreements and he would often eventually agree to whatever compromises i proposed. he was never actually 100% okay with it though and was so unable to control his emotions over any previous compromises that we agreed to that he’d often blow up on me and drove me insane. this was all over stupid shit like me hanging out with friends and how much time i spent on my career vs serving his pathetic ass and being his replacement mom/personal therapist.
anyways, forgive my rambling but i just can’t help but see all these red flags of an abusive relationship in this particular anon’s relationship.
I pray it doesn't end terribly for you, anon. Before you move in with him make sure you have a strong support system of friends and/or family in case your relationship turns abusive. I am scared cause you are like a bird in cage now, what happens when you live with the guy?
And if you love him so much, why did you feel bad about rejecting the irl cutie (unless it was 'damn I want my bf irl, not you' type of feel, which I understand)?
Why? Do you have a terminal disease? Live in Honduras?
How realistically close to death are you anon?
Yeah but that entire universe is nothing. Existence is meaningless, which means you can give it any meaning you want because it doesn’t matter.
Imo it’s the most relieving thing ever. We’re temporary and everything will continue on just how it should. None of us can change it, so we’re free to do as we please and make it a blip we enjoy.
Around 4 years ago I had the same problem like you: constantly thought about death, constantly crying just thinking about getting older (I studied law and regularly broke into tears when the teacher mentioned cases like "Mr/Ms[…] *inherited", since it reminded me of death), I become downright suicidal, told everybody I'm going to kill myself because I can't stand the thought of my parents dying before me and so on.
In the end the only thing that really helped me was becoming a bit more religious again, like how I was like when I was a child.
And by that i don't mean that I go to church more often or anything like that, no, whenever I get scared I simply tell myself that life does not end after death, that there is a heaven, that I will meet my deceased loved ones again. I know that this sounds childsh, a lot of people will say religion in general is bullshit, but it really helped me to rid myself of that problem. Now and then I still get these feelings of panic and sadness, but no longer to the extent I did back then.And I also still hope that one day scientists will find a way to immortality lol.
That’s really fucking stupid.
Anorexics aren’t better disciplined, they don’t have amazing self control, they are sick and terrified to eat.
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I wish elderly people didn't deteriorate. I befriend a lot of them and it hurts when they start getting ill or losing their lucidity, and you can't do shit about it. I ran into one of them today and he was talking absolute nonsense, I couldn't keep track of the conversation at all but tried to hide it because I didn't want to upset him. Made me tear up a little.
same. I go along with them a lot more than I do with people from my age range. Before I moved to my current home there was an elderly guy who used to greet me good morning and talk to me every time I was on the bus station, he was very nice but already showed signs of deterioration and I think he's not alive anymore…
There was another elderly guy in the same place I lived who used to sell very good homemade bread around the neighborhood, he and his wife were very nice people. Some idiotic teenager/early 20 girls once harassed him when he was on the bike selling bread and it made me so angry.
I try to help at least one elderly person a day if I can. The other day I kept on seeing an old lady at the store and she couldn't reach stuff so I helped her a bit and then kept an eye out on her if she needed more help. I also walked an old blind lady over the road because she almost walked into a big puddle.
No one irl knows I do this, It's my super secret thing that I help and befriend old people. They do wonder why old ladies always smile at me when we are in town, usually it's old ladies who I've previously helped.
this website is making me toxic, man. or maybe it opened up a pandora's box that was there all along, and i was just holding back this whole time. i wasn't such a negative, arrogant person before i started browsing lolcow daily. it started with the nicole dollanganger thread. at first i promised i wouldn't comment, just lurk, it couldn't hurt to lurk just a bit. then i commented on a post for the first time. then i did it again, and again, next thing i know i got banned twice this month for being understandably toxic (sperged out and called someone a very offensive racial slur). i promised myself a while ago that i'd never make fun of someone for how the look or their weight or anything other than their bad attitude, but here i am calling people retards, fattys and racial slurs. i can't even be like "oh this isn't who i am" when it is very clearly who i am and i intend to take responsibility for it. i try to keep it lowkey but it's starting to bleed off onto my real life.
i hate it, and i'd hate for my family and friends to find out how toxic and horrible i can be online and annonymously, but i can't seem to stop. i feel ashamed but, in all honesty, a part of me doesn't want to stop, and i wish i was enough of a cynic or a bad person not to care that i'm being awful. it's like a drug, kicking someone when they're down, esp when you consider them to be a shitty person, like they "deserve" it when it's clearly no excuse to be shitty, i'm just stooping down to their level. schadenfreude is one hell of a drug.
i'm so ashamed of this i won't even mention it in therapy, because i adore my therapist and they're such a kind, wholesome, good-natured person i'd hate for them to know what i really am. this is the first time in my life i've held back on being honest with my therapist, i usually open up quite easily even with nasty aspects of myself. so i know this is real bad. i never thought i'd be a bully or that i'd enjoy being intentionally mean online to someone, and no mental gymnastics can salvage this into letting me off the hook.
i'm this >>324765
op. i'm not necessarily lying, i'm just omitting the subject in the sessions and talking about other issues that are more pertinent atm. but it's true, i have been holding back from discussing and it's been gnawing at me for the past couple of weeks.
i've never lied to my therapist before because, well, i wanted to get better at the time and knew lying wasn't gonna do me any good.
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I ran out of counseling sessions at my uni. My counselor recommended that I find someone in my insurance network to get more frequent and consistent care, and I’m struggling between telling my parents for support or just skulking around them and sneaking behind them to get therapy. My insurance is theirs, because I’m still a dependent under their names. Last time I asked for therapy in eighth grade and in high school, they yelled at me and called me crazy and told me to do more chores. I’ve been typing a note for google translate because we speak different languages, but I can’t ever see this going well. I know I’m going to get yelled at for needing mental help. I just want accepting parents. I shouldn’t have to feel like bawling at the thought of having to tell them “hey I want to fucking die all the time and this is the way to help me stop” only to be shut down and yelled at. I see so many of my friends and their parents are so accepting of giving them mental help or they just don’t care, and I’m like… why don’t I have that?
I hate being like this. I hate myself. Maybe it’d be better not to even talk to my parents about it because I know it can only go wrong. Any scenario i imagine of them reacting well feels like a fever dream. This isn’t me coming out as gay. This is me saying I need help to stop wanting to kill myself every day. I don’t know why they react so badly. Maybe it’s their culture. I just want their acceptance, but I know I won’t get it. I’m scared if I go behind their backs to get therapy, something is going to go wrong like I’ll incur some fine or bill I haven’t noticed and they’ll find out when our shitty healthcare system sends them a $100 bill or something for like a session of therapy. This fucking sucks
i hate that i have nothing to offer a partner
tbh i think most things that people think are valuable in terms of what they can offer are still kind of silly and shouldnt be so valued anyways but still, it sucks to have nothing of value for men. i just want companionship…>>324720
that's crazy. i can't imagine continually wanting to be alive and wake up. tbh i'm scared because all of the women in my family have lived to, at the lowest, 100 and i've felt so fed up with living forever. it feels like there's nothing worth accomplishing already for me and i have felt so tired for so long and it lowkey sucks that i feel i'm going to have to make the decision to off myself or be alone and breaking down physically, incapable of caring for myself at 106, etc. plus like climate scientists say we're headed toward catastrophic societal collapse very soon so i'm pretty scared tbh
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I’m so sorry you’re facing so much backlash from your family when you’re just trying to look out for your mental health. Just curious, what culture are your parents from? I’ve been in a similar situation anon: my family comes from an Eastern European culture so mental health is stigmatized as something made up out of “boredom”.
Imo the best course of advice is to go on and see a therapist now without bringing it up and THEN disclose when you’re comfortable. “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness later than to beg for permission” is usually the approach I take on these kinds of situations. Perhaps you can do what >>324810
did, in the sense that you pay upfront rather than get a bill.
There are also centers that offer cheaper discounted counseling if the person is doing their training, or a sliding-scale program you can take advantage of. Also, no matter which route you go, you can always ask for a consultation to see if the therapist is right for you—especially when money is of concern. Wishing you all the best on whatever you choose and sending positive vibes your way!
I’m sorry you’re in this situation, anon. If your uni can’t give you anymore counseling sessions, maybe try asking them if they can at least help you find counseling elsewhere? Tell them about your parents and how you’re still under their insurance; the school counselors should be able to tell you how to receive help outside of your uni. Also, even though you’re still under your parents insurance, therapists and other health professionals are legally not allowed to tell your parents about anything (appointments, treatments, etc.) unless you give them permission. And like >>324810
said, you pay before each session, so you don’t have to worry about your parents getting a bill.
I hope everything falls into place for you, good luck!
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I hate that there's no treatment for facial acne scars to get completely rid of them, and the ones that are effectives are way too intense and expensive and can bring huge side effects or aren't very expensive but take a long amount of time to show results such as dermarolling.
I think I'm average looking and I try to not get so bothered with these scars but sometimes it's hard to not think that I'm hideous and everyone is looking at the scars thinking how gross they look (yes ik it's just me being paranoid).
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I'm 23yo and lately I've been sad that im too old to dress like pic related lol, I mean I've always dress alternative so its so weird how all of the sudden cause im older I just have to stop. I know it looks ridiculous to dress like this after your teens and every farmer here thinks that and that twintails are just not for older people. But sometimes I miss these looks and I liked the way they looked on me, just wanted to vent lmao
girl, you're only 23, if it makes you happy go for it! you are not gonna be one of the "older people" for more than a decade, don't worry
and even when you do reach that point, i personally think that there is nothing cooler than, you know, proper adults, that still dress however they want.
You sound really young and extremely new, especially since you said you first started with the Nicole Dollanganger thread. Is this your first imageboard? You need to chill out, stop taking anons seriously, and stop with the shitposting which is why you keep getting banned, in two months no less lmao. If you have nothing to contribute or if something someone says makes you mad, then you don't have to post because no matter what you say won't change anything anyway.
Usually people call each other retards and other slurs on here because someone is genuinely acting like a retard, they're not saying it to be edgy. Moral of the story is don't be an edgy retarded newfag who shitposts and has nothing to contribute.
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I've had depression for years (my tween/teen years entirely) and now I'm finally healed. However, I fell like I'm no longer in touch with my feelings. I daydream a lot too, but recently, I just don't know what to feel anymore. Like when something different happens in my life, I'm not sure how am I supposed to feel :/ If something unpleasant happens I'll jusr daydream and whatever, but I don't know how to stop anymore, like I'm no longer in touch with reality
Any anons with similar experience?
Thank you for the reply. It’s reassuring to know about how the payment system works for your therapy; I haven’t gone to anyone outside of my uni’s counseling center so I was just really worried, but this is a relief to hear.>>324835
My parents are immigrants from a village in China. I think they believe any sort of mental illness is just ‘crazy’ and should be sorted out by the individual themselves. The stigma against mental illness always sucks… Thank you so much for your advice! I appreciate it a lot. I sat on the issue for a while and I think I agree with you. I think with my current state of mind, asking them about the issue would only worsen things for me, so I’ll just look out for myself first and check out counselors and clinics before thinking about possibly telling my parents.>>324839
You’re right. I have to look out for myself and not let their own judgment prevent me from getting treatment from a serious problem in my life. Thank you.>>324874
Thank you for the advice and well wishes! It’s reassuring to hear that you pay upfront. My uni counselor gave me the contact info of a few counselors who would be covered under my/my parents’ insurance, so I might try give them a call or email and ask. I’m hoping things will go well regardless of who or what I choose to do, haha.
Do it anon!>>325091
Dress how you want.
Anons therapist probably knows they’re an edgelord.
Why are there so many underage fags posting today?
A couple weeks ago I was asked out by a guy and rejected him, but now I regret it.
We've known each other for a long time (but I haven't seen him in ages), he's a bit older and I never would have thought that he sees me this way. Back then, when we hung out together his friend was sort of the mentor in a social club me and my friends were in, I was 16-18 and he early to mid twenties, so I thought I'm just a kid to him. I was so shocked when he messaged me.
The main reason I declined his invitation was, that I'm simply not attracted to him. I can't afford to have high standards because I'm not attractive and very socially awkward myself, but he definitely weighs over 150, if not 200kg, and I thought that I could do at least a little better.
However, now I regret it so much. I'm so lonely, maybe this would have been my only chance at ever getting a bf? He might be ugly, but at least he would have been a nice guy.
Bad idea, anon. I briefly dated a guy I wasn't attracted to, because he had a nice personality and we got on well as friends so I thought maybe I sort of owed it to him to give him a chance.
First time he kissed me he pressed up against me and I felt his belly sort of smoosh into my stomach. I nearly gagged into his mouth. Told him I didn't think we were compatible the next day.
Thanks for the advice anon, I didn't even know there were such thing as grounding exercising XD
I'll do further research and try to keep as an everyday practice
I know this isn't a very popular thing to say on lolcow: The reason why people don't make a stink about 200 pound women and do over anorexic women, is because anorexia is way more likely to kill you acutely. You can have an obese BMI for decades and still be alive. Can't say so for people who are literally starving.
If you're eating healthy and exercising, the food scales shouldn't be needed.
If you used to have an ED you really need to be monitored and work with a therapist to hold yourself accountable to not go full anachan, and that weighing food stuff is a major red flag.
Not to mention, if you lose weight rapidly or in an unhealthy manner, you are going to WAY screw up your metabolism. Yo yoing is very unhealthy. Its speculated its a big factor in heart disease and what not.
So please anon your dad is worried about you and we are too. I really think you need to see a counselor and talk to your doctor about a healthy, non-ed diet and exercise plan.
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>yearn for friendship
>want to be alone again
What do I mean by this? Why do I keep doing it?
I also really want a boyfriend but I'm afraid the same would happen if I get one. I just have such limited social energy.
Not sure if you are like me but here's what I experience:
I want friends but the mental energy I use up when spending time with them makes me feel drained before and after. It's because my anxiety peaks when I spend time with people unless we are super close.
When we aren't close, I overthink and get nervous about saying or doing the wrong thing. I try to be my best self instead of my true self which can be exhausting. It's like I can never be relaxed unless the person has crossed the threshold of being fully trusted by me.
I don't even know what a femcel is supposed to be. I'm certainly a man-hater and I'm pretty open about it irl but that doesn't seem to discourage any men from trying to fuck me. Sorry that you have to be a handmaiden and still can't get laid.
Yeah, he wants to be seen as the exception. I think some men actually prefer if you hate other men, but see them as good enough to date. They think "This woman is a raging misandrist, but she thinks I'm special. She's dating and fucking me
, and she despises absolutely anyone else with a dick. Other men BTFO, holy fuck. I feel great".
It's not only an ego boost, it also means you're less likely to replace him with some other guy, as your opinions of the rest of his sex are so low.
so, tbh, i used to agree with you, but you're fighting with the wrong people.
the #notallmen shit is only an issue when men
are trying to silence women
i think being obtuse and saying stuff like "men are x" or "black people are y" or "white girls" just makes you sound ignorant usually.
You guys also accuse everyone of being handmaidens even if we're not talking about men and just happen to not align with your shitty views.
The convo in the other thread derailed and stopped being about men, but you crazies still just want everything to be about men for some reason.
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I went into a semi-expensive (but not luxury) clothes store and out of 5 employees nobody greeted me back even though I was the only customer in the store. I know I'm awkward and not very stylish but damn, you'd think I showed up in mayo-stained sweatpants. I got super uncomfortable and left quickly even though there was stuff I would've loved to actually buy. I have an ED so clothing stores in general make me anxious but I was pretty excited to shop for once. I'm feeling increasingly bummed out, am I overreacting?
where'd you go, rather what tier store was it? it sounds pretty shitty and i wouldn't go back, i may even write an email.
i'm in customer service so i'm usually not one to be a "let me speak to your manager type" but i know that place like that, that aren't big box stores actually put care into hiring people so it sounds like something that needs to be addressed.
>>325677> You guys also accuse everyone of being handmaidens even if we're not talking about men and just happen to not align with your shitty views.
who is we here?
Also, go through that thread and ctrl+f handmaiden and femcel and let the results speak for themselves.
btw handmaiden was used by anons complaining being called that way even though no one did in that thread.
Aside from the man hating thread I encounter way more anons calling others femcels when being slightest critical of men. Your points are moot and all the anons calling others femcels were aggressive and utterly rude. Like, I get it, we're on an imageboard but don't play the victim here.
You're not the victim either. Insults are also being thrown from your court if you didn't notice. And how are you going to speak for other
anons, if you don't know how they treat people on the site. Just get over yourself and stop expecting the site to cater to you.
FFS people who thread hop to bring drama from one thread to another are always the worst people. That shit should be banned.
Not everyone on the site is going to agree with you and if your skin is so thin that you have to victimize yourself over being "harassed" on an anonymous board and bitch about a-logging then you need to leave.
>>325689> complains about being called a handmaiden> lol grow a thicker skin if you don't want to be "harassed"
you've got a brilliant logic there retard
Also, this is a vent thread, we're allowed to vent here, right?
Or what, does it hurt your feelings too?
That's just kind of ignorant to say though, we have had anons on the site making "femcel" thread (unironically) and some women even confessed to wanting to actually harm men.
We also had some insane panicky anon who wanted to kill herself because she believed hyperbole and convinced herself everyone in the world seriously was out to kill or rape her cause everyone including women hate women.
I agree the insult is tossed around too much, it's the new autism on the site imo. But you shouldn't discount that it actually came from real people on the site.
>>325696> i'm not the one saying i'm being harassed or oppressed.
I wasn't either, maybe learn2read
I said how I hated that the insult femcel and man hater is easily thrown around, not that I feel like a victim.
Considering that it was the anons calling others femcels that were most vocal about the evil man-haters, they sure did most of the name calling and they had the nerve to complain about it in the meta which is fucking hypocritical. I don't think you care so whatever. And seeing that an anon in another thread was warned for a remark that was considered man hate derailing which it was not, I wonder if this site is truly a place for girls run by girls.
Anyway, I'm done with this site.
You realize that there's a specific thread for bitching about men here, yeah? It's for containment
like the gender critical thread, becuase when we don't allow those threads stuff happens where everyone bitches about other users who don't have the same charged opinions.
Also, I take it you're not >>325612
because she got pushed out of the unpopular opinions thread cause she was bitching about how much people keep "harassing" other poor innocent anons!
Keep up with the shit you're trying to defend.
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What makes a grown ass woman in her 30s attention whore in a discord vidya group full of twentysomething guys? She doesn't even play games, she just happens to be the gf of one of the members. She constantly posts exaggerated tmi sexual shit like "I just fingered myself for 2 hours my fingers are so sore guys", calls herself a slut, tells everyone else to call her a slut, posts "ironic" selfies of herself with tits out like "lol I'm an ugly whore"…
And people still talk to her. And she just makes the subject about her her her every fucking time. It's not even a vidya discord anymore, it's her shitpost discord now.
I hate how they enable her not like other gurls xDD bullshit, I'm seriously thinking of leaving. I've known these people for so long and now this bitch comes and shits up everything, god
I'd stay and snatch attention from her by being a reserved, quiet female human just to get her triggered
, cause drama to unfold, then leave.
I once joined a server like that, entered the VC, talked a bit casually, then the "main" girl suddenly got annoyed when she noticed me, said "You're irrelevant now" and spammed the chat with some insult toward me that I can't remember to try and "bully" me into leaving. I just spammed right back because I thought it was fun. Eventually, she had an emotional breakdown, left, and reportedly messaged one of her orbiters on Skype bitching about the whole thing. It felt kind of good.
99.9999999999999% of the time it's the 'anti-femcel' anons that are weirdly aggressive. They can't stand having their choices critiqued or men criticized without feeling personally offended on their behalf. They feel personally attacked or something. They'll make like a million posts about it after a confrontation has ended, and then cry to mods despite being the ones that are consistently aggro when nothing calls for it. This happens basically every time, without fail. You rarely see obsessive reporting and whinging to mods from the 'femcel' bunch. It's pathetic.
Also, again, there's no such thing as a 'femcel'. Even the one or two weird anons that want to hurt men generally have either been abused or raped by them or feel powerless by them. Incels just want to hurt women because it makes their dicks hard, because us being abused is one of the most popular genres of porn and abusing us (so long as it's eroticized) is so normalized - not because we've hurt them, plus, they actually genuinely hate us. There is no equivalence. People need to stop reaching with these retarded false equivalences.
literally everything you said about "anti-femcels" can be said about people being called femcels. just stop.
also, you're turning crazy people into victims and making assumptions about them being abused to prove your point, that's ridiculous. the virgin anon who spent time on /r9k/ long enough to turn into a mirror image of them wasn't raped into bad feels. just listen to how hard you're trying to deny that one or two women can actually be that fucked up, it's not so hard to believe. not everyone needs to have some terrible tragic backstory, women aren't a collective just as much as men aren't.
not everyone on the site is radfem, not everyone on the site dislikes men or is feminist in any real manner. let it go.
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My ex and I have been friends for several years now. We're cool with each other but one thing that bothers me about him is he stretches the truth sometimes.
For example, recently his number changed and when I asked him why he said he dropped it out of a helicopter (he's in the army).
Now is it possible? Yes
Did it happen to him? I think not.
Once he told me the gruesome story of how they had to search for bugs and eat them at basic ( did I mention we were having lunch?) And someone died while he was there.
How much of that is true? I'm not feeling 100%.
Another time he said our manager at work was a twin. Later I asked the manager and laughed and said ex was lying.
I could go on but I think he does this to impress me. I say that because even tho I broke up with him a long time ago he still has feelings for me and he acknowledged this.
Do any of you have friends or know someone who does this? What did you do about it?
that's a load of shit. both parties constantly get banned on meta for infighting forever. manhate anons constantly shit up other threads to "defend" themselves, they bitch about people being handmaidens even when no one mentions men, they act like the entire site is some kind of manhating radfem stomping ground despite most of us just wanting to chill. in every relationship advice thread there are always people telling anons to "dump him" regardless of what the anon said about the guy.
you guys are a disease.
I've always thought it was ironic how the same people who hate men have simultaneously managed to turn most discussions here into being about men. Can't we just have a space for women where we don't have to think about men constantly?
Ditto for racebaiting.
I come here for downtime and entertainment, not to constantly have race, gender, and politics rammed down my throat. If I wanted that, I would just keep to my Facebook feed.
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not to be wacky but i'm lonely and touch-starved and i wanna be loved and told nice things but every guy i meet is either unattractive or has no fucking clue how to be affectionate and meet my needs. probs just me being picky but whew does it sting
Compulsive liar shit, fuck that dude. I knew someone who would do the same thing, but frame his lies in such a way that nobody would really try to investigate further. Most notably, I remember at a party once he started telling people another friend he brought that we didn't know, had a brain tumor and mere months to live (but keep it hush because he himself hadn't told others about it!)
Bullshit, dude was in perfect health. There was nothing to gain from that except… needless and misplaced sympathy?
We all just tried to distance ourselves because there was no sense of right and wrong to appeal to in him. Then he died of an OD. So the issue cleared itself up, so to speak. Good luck with yours though.
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im so sad. i feel like i have no right to be, things aren't the worst, but they kind of suck. Me, my little brother, and my sister all got in separate car accidents recently. All of them were the other driver's fault. My sister also got scammed by an elaborate thing going around her company that her coworkers were aware of but did not tell her. My mom and my dad separated when I was a child and I didn't feel bad about that as I knew they were unhappy but he has been married to my step mom for a couple of years. He works two jobs and always offers my and my brother financial support even if he's down. My brother just told me my dad might get divorced next month and shes going to get the house. My mom has problems with her teeth and I know she is in pain but insurance won't cover what she needs and that costs thousands we don't have. I wish I can just win the lottery and buy them the things they deserve as they worked so hard to be loving parents and support us and to help my family. I work, and I help my mom out with rent and everything but everyone is so tired and I feel like this year has been crashing down on us.
yeah get the fuck away from that snatch and find a legit DBT therapist. Don't feel bad. That is absolutely unprofessional. OpenPathCollective helped me to find affordable therapy through their service and website, but I don't know if they are just U.S. or also Europe.
Either way, I'd just go looking for whatever resource you can find listing available DBT specialists.
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I legit stumbled upon this bullshit tweet and I just don't understand how people can be this gross. Associating any job you with prostitution is a new low, even for a 'sex positive' thot.
any job you work*
(sorry for mobile typo)
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I feel like committing sudoku for being such a retard.
My college classes were cancelled today because there are a lot of fires where I live right now and the air quality is really bad. So I assume this one quiz will be cancelled today, despite the quizzes being online they are usually password-locked to prevent cheating. But this time it was unlocked due to the class cancellation, problem is I missed the deadline because I didn't know it was still happening and now it's locked. It's one of those classes where the quizzes are worth a shitton of points too.
I hope the professor is understanding. It'll probably turn out okay since he was talking about dropping the lowest quiz score anyways but I hate this feeling of anxiety.
I'll probably regret posting this but yolo
Today I had a tough day, and I ~think~ I did something shitty.
I have this whiny friend who complains all the time about every aspect of her life (particularly about how she hates her body or how she doesnt have any real friends lmao completely ignoring my own person right here ofc), and sometimes she's fucking insufferable, other times I just feel sorry for her bc she's showing early signs of depression, but she's also one of those people that'll never seek professional help, no matter how many fucking times you insist.
We only communicate by facebook because we live in different cities atm (we were friends in high school).
Right now I'm in a hospital with my mom who's losing her memory and doesn't even remembers me anymore most of the time, and she knows about but she's never even asked about my mom or about me, she just complains all day long as usual, so today during one of rants I told her smth like "jfc ____, y dont u get a twitter account", so she started ranting again saying how she didn't expect that from me, how friends are supposed to be there for you in every situation etc etc. I admit I felt pretty shitty, bc I know how it is to feel depressed an alone, so I definetly felt like an asshole and I hated it, I immediately apologized and now everything's good again.
Right now I don't know exactly how I feel, am I a bad person? She's my friend and having a hard time, I did wrong by telling her off, but you see, I really really really can't stand complaining :/ like, it's pointless and annoying, esp if the person complains all day long, everyday
I had a friend like that in high school, even when I was being kicked out of my home because of a shity situation, she completely discounted my problem and just immediately started talking about her own. I got angry with her but we patched it up and stayed friends for four more years, I hated every single one of them. It was the same thing every single day. Endless complaining and bitching and trivializing my problems until I snapped and cut her off and I've had a great life ever since.
People like that don't change, it's not up to you to babysit them through life And depression. And I know how it feels to lose someone to dementia, it's an absolutely gut-wrenching thing and I'm very sorry that you have to go through it too. You don't need to babysit your friend while you're losing your own mother to one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Care about yourself first.
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I think that you snapping at her because you're going through a hard time and she's being oblivious doesn't make you an asshole.
But what could've prevented you from snapping at her is if you confronted your annoyance with her earlier instead of waiting to bring it up for the first time when you're emotionally volatile. If she's too much to deal with maybe it's time to let the friendship go, but if you think it's worth maintaining, it's up to both of you to communicate better. Instead, it seems like you've just tried to ignore it even though it bothers you, which just leads to resentment and lashing out when you don't want to.
I really don't think you should lose sleep over this because you didn't do anything terrible. This is a really normal experience in relationships imo. It's hard to know when you're making a healthy compromise vs when you're smothering your needs, and sometimes there's no way to find out without a hiccup like this. I would just see it as a learning experience. Tough times have revealed that you can't just ignore her annoying tendencies forever, so you have to either fix them or stop being friends.
She sounds kinda toxic… I have struggled with this and its really hard to get over. It does hurt knowing I've lost people because of it, but i had to step the fuck up and start realizing no one is responsible for my dysfunctions and we pay therapists for a reason. And I've also had people who were worse than me, which is one of the things that started making me snap out of it.
Boundaries are a healthy and useful thing, anon. If you feel its worth a shot do what other anon suggested and try to gently but firmly approach the subject. If she reacts as badly to you trying that approach well you have your answer.
Tbh though… The last person i had around me that was worse? I just couldn't continue to talk to her for my own mental health. I just quietly faded away and tbh she just sorta got bored and didn't care after awhile. i checked up on her recently and she's not…too much different but she's better. She didn't kill herself or anything, which was my worst fear.
So yeah don't be afraid to do what you gotta do.
This is such a stupid thing but I really need to get it out of my system. I'm ESL so I apologize for my weird English.
Anyway, yesterday at like 11PM, I was coming home from work and I took the train as usual. I had my bike with me and I was going to get off at the next stop so instead of finding a seat I just stood next to the train doors. There was another girl standing in the same area as me, she looked about 20, shaved head, kind of edgy clothing, fiddling with her phone and listening to music with big headphones. She made eye contact with me but then turned her back to me and stood in the corner facing the wall, whatever, I didn't think anything much of her.
Then she suddenly just peed everywhere.
I heard the sound of like, running water? so I looked up at her to see wtf was going on and she was just literally standing there and piss was just dripping down her legs onto the train floor. And there was a lot of it. Like it wasn't an accident, because there was a toilet right next to us and it wasn't taken so she could've just used the toilet if she needed to go. She literally took a huge leak right there on the train floor, right in front of me like it's no big deal. Her clothes got completely soaked too. Realizing what was happening, I obviously moved the fuck away from her, at which point she walked the opposite direction, switching train cars so I lost the sight of her.
I don't think anyone else saw what happened. I had to step over the puddle of pee to get off the train at my stop but I saw people stepping right into it and one guy even crouched down to tie fucking his shoelaces right in the gigantic wet spot, like dude can you not smell that it's pee? Why would you step in it? I wanted to say something but I couldn't, I was so shocked I literally just froze.
And now I can't stop thinking about it. The very first thought that came to me when I woke up was just the image of her standing there and peeing, almost like an intrusive thought, it just keeps popping back up.
She didn't seem drunk or anything, she just kinda did it really nonchalantly, so I suspect it was maybe some sort of watersports kink or something.
It's such a stupid thing to be so bothered by but I honestly feel really disgusted and shocked.
Thanks for validating my feelings, when I told my friends about it they just kind of brushed it off as something kinda gross but mostly just funny.>It sounds almost nightmarish really since that scenario sounds unreal
The moment the guy started tying his shoelaces was the moment where I started doubting my sanity like, is this really happening? Is this a prank? Am I on candid camera? I guess that's exactly what made it feel so traumatic almost, it was such a strange, unreal situation.
How to grow a backbone?
My family is a lot more religious than I am and it annoys me so much. Just now I - again - had to listen to some videos of priests singing because my mother found it so awesome; when she comes home from church she always talks about how goosebump-inducing and touching it was and I. Just. Don't. Care.
The worst thing is, my brother is studying to be a priest. It never bothered me, I was always supportive of him, but even my little sister already noticed that this put him in the number 1 spot in the eyes of my mom. No matter what, I couldn't compete. I mean, as a woman I couldn't even do the same, even if I wanted…
I love my brother, even though he treats me like shit. He's a raging misogynist, has zero empathy and the rare times he messages me or visits home he uses to call me fat. I'm just 1 year older, but have been taking care of him since I'm old enough to remember. But I get nothing (but mean jokes) in return. His relationship with my father is bad, so my mother - no matter what he does or says - is tiptoeing around him, never scolding him, always trying to please him. But of course he shows zero gratefullness. The funny thing is, he still thinks that my parents treat us girls better than him. They don't and even if, maybe it's because we're nice?
Like I said, I do believe in god, but I don't want to spend the whole weekend while he's home talking about religious things or about all those "shitty feminazi sluts" he encounters while in uni.
We're not american, yet he always says, he as a white straight male is made out to be the biggest evil. As a priest, somebody who's attracted to nobody, is he even straight? The refugee situation is really bad there I live, but instead of hating on them, he puts the majority of the blame on all women, because it's somehow their fault that they let them in.
It somehow went over is head that I spent my teenage years starved, he still calls me fat, he once even made up the lie that his friends said I look slutty for wearing shorts and a crop top, when I just regained the confidence to wear short clothes.
The day before my birthday he brought me to tears with his comments, my mom said nothing. On my birthday he said the same. Then, I grabbed his stomach, saying you're not the skinniest either. He totally loses it ("You have no right to touch me!!!") and finally my mother said something. He then spent the rest of the day sulking in his room.
Like I mentioned already, he and my father can't stand each other. And because of that the last 4 years I spend christmas eve crying myself to sleep because of them fighting. I'm way too old to give so much fucks and be so sensitive about what others say.
The whole situation puts me into a dilemma: one word to my father about what he always does to me and my sister, and I would get my "revenge", but on the other hand it would sadden my mother a lot to see them fight again. She always stands between them and I don't want to hurt her.
The only time I ever fought back was because I couldn't take his period-comments anymore. I kicked it to the shin (and my mother saw…) and he started raging again. He doesn't understand that words can hurt too.
Our friends always said I should just slap him, because they witnessed how he treats me, but knowing him, he would just hit back stronger.
Sometimes I wish I didn't love him so much. I shouldn't treat him that well, but whenever I see him I'm still happy. I'm so stupid.
Another thing that shows that I'm a hopeless doormat is, that whenever my boss asks me to help out, even if I don't really have time, I always say yes. It literally feels like I'm frozen and I just here myself say "Sure, of course I can". Ugh.
Thanks anon, and I am so sorry about your loss :/
It is indeed tiring sometimes because she can't see the double standards of her thoughts/actions, claims everybody is mean and can't stand her while she can't really see anyone but herself>>325839
I completely agree that I should've told her before instead of just ignoring, but the thing is that I'm a super chill person, I usually don't think too much about annoying things (and I don't get easily annoyed), but it was different this time, I just didn't catch up in time :(>>325842
It's just useless to try and explain to her that I'm not her personal twitter account, because she always rants about how friends NEED to listen to each other at all times, while she can't keep a healthy friendship because they usually get tired of her. I just feel really bad that she's becoming depressive, but at the same time I'm kinda stupid cos she doesn't give a damn about me :/
your brother is a cunt, why is he even studying to be a priest when he acts like this?
>I kicked it to the shin (and my mother saw…) and he started raging again
you assaulted him, of course hes going to be fucking mad, if hes really as awful as you say then avoid him instead of provoking him by starting physical violence, it only escalates from there. youre only putting yourself in danger.
Another Finn here, I've been traveling by commuting trains a lot for years and I've never seen anything like that happen. Quite the contrary actually, the trains are usually peaceful and orderly. But I can imagine it taking place in the airport train line the other anon mentioned because it travels in a non-stop circle so a lot of drunken teenagers and drug addicts get on just to have a place to stay at as you can access the trains without a ticket and they don't really enforce a lot of surveillance over it. Especially during night time and late hours.
Bottom line we have the same sort of crazies any other big city does. I'm guessing the girl taking the piss was on drugs or had a mental problem. Or a watersports kink. I don't really want to know and I wish I'll never experience it.
Original pisstrain anon here.>>326029
Yeah I figure he thought the floor was just wet from rain or whatever. It wasn't raining yesterday, but it's been raining everyday lately so the train floors being wet is nothing unusual. >>326035
Yep, it was pretty late too so he could've been tired from work or whatever, I know I was.>>326036
Even though Finland admittedly is a pretty strange country, crazies exist everywhere. Pissing yourself on public transport is not considered normal or acceptable behavior here, lmao.>>326046
I've seen plenty of weird shit on trains but I get out of work really late, so I blame the time. The crazies always come out at night. She seemed so calm about it though like nothing about her seemed like she was on anything, or even like nervous or distressed about it. Admittedly I only saw her face before she did it so I don't know what her expression was like when she realized I saw her do it. I'm not 100% sure she knew I was there either? She saw me enter the train for sure because we made eye contact, but after that she had her back to me the whole time and she was listening to music on her headphones, so maybe she assumed I had gone to the seating area which is further away from the doors? I don't know man, I'd rather think that she thought she was alone than that she did it knowing I was witnessing it.>>326049
The "don't make a scene" thing is very real but I honestly think no one else saw it happen. The seats are further away from the door area and all the other passengers were over there. So when they walked to the doors to get off the train and saw the wet floor, they assumed it was water or someone had spilled their drink or whatever. It smelled like piss though, but since there was a toilet in the same area, maybe they figured that's where the smell was coming from?
Sorry for dragging out this pointless conversation but talking about it helps me process it. I already feel less bothered by it, I even laughed at anon correctly guessing the country.
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Sometimes I think about how I'm descended from badass warrior kings and shit yet I'm a weak loser who cries all the time, has daily panic attacks, and sprained her wrist opening a coffee jar the other day. I just feel like these super old dead guys would be disappointed in me, and I wouldn't blame them. I suck.
don't worry anon. more of your ancestors were retarded peasants that shit outside and died of syphilis than warrior kings. everyone's are.
comparatively, you're doing fine.
We're siblings, we sometimes still do hit each other. That's not "assault".
I was simply feeling desperate, no matter what, he just wouldn't stop, so I lightly hit him. Is that really so bad?
w-what does losing weight have to do with a haircut?
is that a goal weight gift to yourself?
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anon please get a haircut, the hairstylists don’t care about your weight and only really wanna cut your hair
it’ll just get worse if you ignore it. if you are afraid of being judged at a salon, try super cuts where it’s usually just older ladies who chat about their grandkids’ hobbies as they trim off your split ends and then you can walk out with smooth hair and feel like a brand new anon.
image spoiler for what happens to hair due to depression neglect
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I’m so sick and tired of being disordered and fucked up. I sound like a tumblr piece of shit even talking about it but I have BPD, HPD, and PTSD along with body image shit, professionally diagnosed. I always feel like I’m putting on an act. I’m promiscuous, loud, and basically an attention whore when I’m not purposely trying to keep myself quiet. The only thing keeping me together is my boyfriend whom I love dearly and afaik, our relationship is healthy and he keeps me together mostly but, fuck. I know people in group chats are weirded out by me and some have me blocked. I can’t even describe my personality without using demeaning terms and stuff. I’ve done awful shit for attention in the past which got me to a level of infamousy on some not so great places, I’m trying to get away from it all but it STILL haunts me and things still happen to me from it. I wanna be at least somewhat normal. I’m the epitome of a red flag in a woman and it breaks me.
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My boyfriend told me about his ex gfs. I felt hurt, mostly because I realized how shit I was. I went home and stalked them all on his account and they are all attractive. He said that one of them was really helpful, smarter than me, hardworking in school, and wholesome deep down. I am not wholesome deep down, I am a very troubled person and he knows it. I don't work hard in school because I'm depressed and unmotivated. I smoke, self harm, get into fights, everything that he basically hates and hes still with me. Feel as if i'm just his last resort.
It just hurt to hear these things.
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He only said that she was smarter than me, the attractive-ness is decided by me. You just know where you're lacking when you compare yourself to someone else and thats the case for me.
Sometimes, I don't know if he even loves me at all. I bring him gifts everyday, buy him coffee and meals, tell him how much I care for him and compliment him, go out of my way to make his life easier and he has not done a single thing like that for me. I've confronted him about it and he apologized and said he just doesn't know how, but I think if you truly loved someone you'd just know deep down and try in your own way. But he isn't even trying.
He's leaving in a month for 8 months again, he left 8 months before too. So I'd be waiting for him for 16 months total. I don't know if its worth it anymore but I love him a lot. I don't ask for much.
I don't want much, as in he could at least compliment me which he never does. Just anything, just pay for my meal just once. He never does and never makes plans. I complain yet I stay, so really it's my problem. Just too hopeful.
We talk things out everything theres something wrong but no matter how many times I talk to him about this nothing changes. Really want things to work.
And he's leaving for work, I can't hold him back because he needs a good future. Again, just sucks.
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He's not going to change, no matter how much you hope or tell him. Sigh.
i looked at the pic before reading your post and regret everything. >>326295
i'm really sorry to hear that anon. please take care.
careful neglecting your hair anon, you definitely don't want to deal with a matted clump. I had a matted mess in the back of my hair a few years ago. Once it gets matted, it is either impossible to fix or hella difficult. I mean I tried for a week, everyday drenching it in oil and trying to get some of the knots out, for freaking hours. I gave up and cut it out, I could get away since I have long, thick hair. But it sucks all around, take care of you hair!>>326335
Don't let being fat keep you from what you want outta life. Just sayin, I'm a fatty too, but it'll only hold you back as much as you let it (other than like running a marathon lmao). You gotta let that hate go (or work to lose weight), at the end of the day a lot of guys don't give a fuck if you're fat, as long as you're a cool chick. Quit outright ignoring him, be your awkward fat self or start making a change in yourself. Don't focus on your self-loathing, it's nothing but a waste of time anon
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I've been in abusive relationships with family/friends/significant others my entire life. Think I'm just super used to letting this happen and being walked over.>>326327>>326330
I keep thinking that if I were better to him he will eventually realize what he has and show his love for me. Like if I was a 10/10 he would try so hard but because I'm not all that great he has nothing really to lose.
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Really should.. but honestly there is nothing else wrong with our relationship. We trust eachother, we share interests and moments with one another, its just that he can't show affection. I'm worried that by breaking up with him I'm being irrational and that it would be simply out of some insecurity. It really boils down to that.
Sorry if this is annoying to hear as I'm sure lots of other girls say stuff like this but damn, I love him too much to leave.
Not to armchair diagnose but he sounds like he has OCD, anon. A lot of hoarders do.
I have OCD too but mine is the opposite type (no clutter anywhere) and I'm fully aware I'm a fucking pain in the ass to live with because of all my stupid hang-ups and irrational rules. It's why I live alone.
I'm sick of people sexualizing chokers. I'm not going to stop wearing them for anything, but all those gross things men say about a "black belt in blowjobs" or "She wants you to choke her" annoy me. It's even more irritating when women jump on the bandwagon, calling chokers "dd/lg attire". How fucking dumb can you be? They don't even originate from BDSM or fetish culture, aristocrats in Europe and some of the world's oldest civilizations used to wear them as accessories. Why do men have to relate everything women do, down to having exposed feet or their hair in a bob cut, back to their penises? It can't be helped if they just "admire" them from afar, but to go as far as actually denigrating the girl or woman who wears them as a "slut" because of their own reaction to a fucking neck accessory is just too much.
Fuck off, chokers are cute, they make my neck/collarbones look pretty, I've liked them ever since I was a kid with an obsession with Mew Mew Power, and I refuse to let anyone try to take that away.
Men project on to women a lot.
I used to hang out on Reddit's askwomen sub and every few days a man would ask what hobbies/clothes/jobs are attractive to women. The commenters would say, just wear or do whatever you enjoy, don't pick your hobbies or your clothes or job based on what's attractive to women.
And every time the man would say, but I pick everything in my life based on that. Everything I do is based on whether women will find me attractive if I do it.
Men's whole lives revolve around women. That's why they don't understand that we don't live that way and just pick our clothes and hobbies based on our own desires. They are obsessed with us and it hurts them that we are not obsessed with them.
NTA, but I agree with that anon. I think that's because they don't pay attention to us and what we like, they pay attention to what other men
say about us and what we like.
That method doesn't work because in almost all things, men let their narcissism, low empathy, and stubbornness take over. They think women should like the same things they personally like (so, their poor taste in clothing, disgusting habits, lame interests, latent homosexual attraction to extremely muscular men etc should be the same things to make them Chads in our eyes - after all, their preferences are "The Best", objectively). When that delusion is broken, instead of actually changing themselves (or just letting it go and living life, hoping they'll find someone who does share their interests), they get upset. They either start insisting women's standards are "too high", or they claim we must be mistaken about ourselves, finally resting on "You don't know what you want". They'll continue listening to other men, and getting mad when we don't follow the script laid out.
In those sad cases where women actually do want to pander to men, they often go the extra mile to change their entire selves, body and personality, ala Shoe0nHead. They pay very close attention to the mens' likes and interests, and will meticulously try to scrub out any trace of the parts of themselves they wouldn't like, down to erasing history. A shy bookworm who got bullied becomes a Stacy with huge ass implants and 18k+ IG followers, a tan party girl guidette becomes a pale, shrinking "goth" violet from 4chan. All for men. Men, on the other hand, aren't the same. You never hear stories of them going that far for women, they're too entitled for it.
Exactly. Another very common (as in it cropped up every single day) question I saw on askwomen was "What's the easiet/most low effort thing I can change about myself that will make me attractive to women?"
They want us to be attracted to them but they don't want to put any real effort into it.
I'm the one you replied to and agree completely that men only seem to care about what other men like and think. And then beleive that listening to other men will make them attractive to women.
For example they are more afraid of other men thinking they are gay than wanting to be nice and groomed for women.
And when they see masses of fangirls swooning over young pretty popstars they angrily call those popstars fags and don't want to take in the info that young women actually want those guys.
Its not about your looks is the fact you allowing yourself to get walked over>>326371
If you're not feeling happy just leave him, duh?
Lemme guess, you ain't cheating on him back once he cheats either.
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I found a youtube video for what I assumed was a recipe for cheesecake but turned out to be an ASMR vid which is like fine whatever, as long as you still teach me how to cook the damn cheesecake which it did! But at the end of the video they took a huge chunk of the cheesecake, picked it up with their nasty bare hands and just started ripping it up!! It was mortifying. What a waste of a perfectly good cheesecake
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I'm going to fail my thesis even though I was granted a 1 month extension with the help of my counselor. I feel so pathetic because I spent months lying in bed doing nothing. It's just so embarrassing because after I got help I went around telling friends I would finish. I know this won't mean much in the future but i feel so fucking stupid and useless.
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>decide to try no nut november to challenge myself
>"it'll be easy, I'm a woman!"
How do men do this? tmi but I couldn't fucking concentrate today unless I relapsed.
Maybe, I just assumed that I have a high libido. Women with high sex drives exist, don't we?
I didn't even relapse due to porn (since I'm noporn), I had a wet dream and couldn't get it out of my head. It was also at the point where I was getting overwhelmingly aroused just by being within the vicinity of men I'm attracted to.
Masturbation doesn't hurt anyone, does it? I function quite well with regular sessions and have no other vices.
Why would you do this though? What is the point of avoiding masturbation?
I can go days without it but during ovulation or other horny phase it's multiple times a day.
nah, nothing wrong with just masturbating, but i think doing it often makes it more difficult not to do it and can become addictive, obv. neural networks and all that. men are encouraged to look at everything through a sexual lens and look at porn constantly tho and men constantly talk about masturbation like it's a fucking hobby and use it as a legit bonding point, so it's no wonder they're addicted. they
are fucked tho and i dont think their shit is generally healthy.
i have a high sex drive but i don't feel the need to masturbate, nor do i feel so aroused that i have to masturbate, like, when i masturbate i just want to experience the feeling of cumming and it's not really a sexual thing necessarily. maybe i'm just odd in that respect in that when i'm aroused i really just want to have penetrative sex and not necessarily stimulate my clit.
Libido-level is individual and may differ depending on what is going on in your life.
Many men keep it artificially high by using porn.
Just wanted to test my self control for fun, I guess. Since I know my drive is high.
I made it for two weeks, anyway.>>326553
I think I was more addicted to it (multiple times a day every day) when I used to use porn a lot, which was also when I was a teen. I wager it's probably the same thing fucking up men who already have high libidos.
It also may be a sexually-visual person thing, since I consider myself to be very much in that category. You seem to focus more on feeling, so it probably doesn't get triggered
by everyday stimuli.
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>mfw my bf of many years cums without any physical stimulation at all, just by seeing my boobs, but is going to break up with me soon, and i'm going to have to live with the fact that i lost the only innocent man out there
I don't believe gray asexuality is a real thing.
Plus I do get attracted to people, I just don't feel turned on other than when I'm ovulating.
Careful those bitter people don't start mass reporting you for not wearing a blue shirt, anon.
Don't let them mess up your money for something so dumb.
>>326607>Asexuality is a choice or personality type,
The fuck? Not even asexuals claim that. Chosing not to have sex is called celibacy. And if a low sex drive is a personality trait, it's just the medical problem you mentioned becoming someone's identity (aka exactly what happens with tubmlrinas who want to be special).
Anon also said that asexuality is treatable IF YOU WISH. She never said it has to be. And literally nobody has ever fucking said the alternative to asexuality is 'constant sex'. Classic aspecial bullshit, pretending non asexuals are obsessed with sex and want it all the time and if they don't then they are something different and special.
I think people misinterpet it, asexuals don't think they're special, they think people who are highly sexual are weird or gross.
However there's plenty of "asexuals" with porn or NSFW blogs/rebloggers which muddies the water somewhat. It seems to have a different definition for everyone. The difference is asexuality is a label, low libido is a problem. They may be interchangeable, but most internet asexuals are proud of it.
Slight off-topic, but original anon is probably low libido unless she's proud of it and wears it as a badge/part of her edgy persona.
>>326615>I think people misinterpet it, asexuals don't think they're special, they think people who are highly sexual are weird or gross.
If that was the case, they'd be putting labels on people with regular sex drives instead of themselves.
Asexuality is a blatant tumblresque grab for oppression status and minority points. Oh no, I'm a boring oppressive straight according to tumblr, how can I insinuate myself into the LGTBBQ+ community? I know, I'll pretend my disinterest in sex (due to low libido, trauma, depression, personal discomfort with sexuality, etc) is a sexual orientation.
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i was curious about who was stalking nicoleeeveedavis since she announced her getting a restraining order and it turns out its some guy named brandon benford.
i wish i could search up instagram, but he also went after her on twitter. there's some photos still up. https://twitter.com/search?f=images&vertical=default&q=to%3Anicoleeeveed%20since%3A2018-06-01%20until%3A2018-07-31&src=typd
the thing is she also mentioned someone used to pretend to be her, like take photos and mimic who she is and i still haven't found out who that is as well.
this brandon guy is insane, he tried turning his obsession into saying nicole was racist for not liking him because he's black.
>>326607>You're telling people who choose to abstain from constant sex that there is something "wrong" with them.
Where? And again, not what asexuality is, having low libido and not experiencing sexual attraction in general are not the same thing. Most people are not asexual but don't have "constant sex" either, that's definitely not considered the norm.
Pointless discussion on this website I guess, but asexuality is not a special edgy internet identity that didn't exist until 2009, it's not that deep really.
is ur dad a narcissist, anon?
sounds pretty similar to my ma when she gets upset because she wants attention.
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Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.
There’s this girl, the first person I had attempted to be friends with in years due to social anxiety, and we started texting often, relating, having a great time. She would always tell me how I was her best friend and she wouldn’t know what to do without me etc. I was a bit apprehensive bc we were only friends for a couple months at this point, and I don’t have a great amount of trust in most people.
So anyway, I thought we had started to build a genuine friendship, but looking back I hadn’t made friends in so long that I kind of forgot how it all goes. I didn’t really feel she was my “best friend” like she had always said, but i went along with it anyway cuz fuck it I don’t have any friends lmao.
Then I started noticing things, the way she would text me if I forgot to respond asap became really hostile and aggressive. If I didn’t give her the response she wanted she would basically force it out of me (ie. she would send me pics of her cat and i would say aw cute! And she’d be like do you love her? Like wtf bitch its ur cat just say thanks and go lmao) she would constantly send screenshots of her fighting with her friends/family/our inlaws and demand I be on her side (even tho most of the time I really felt she was in the wrong). She one time said my husband better like her cuz she went to visit him in the hospital once after he broke his neck.
So I realize this bitch is TOXIC like holy shit, but I am in too deep apparently.
I stop texting her, I stop liking/commenting on posts, all interaction after she got mad at me for something stupid I didn’t agree with her about. Still, she texts me… consistently everyday, with me not responding. I get sad every time cuz I feel guilty, but whatever, not worth.
Two weeks before my wedding she dyes her hair a v similar shade of red to my natural hair, aight weirdo.
She stops texting me for a few weeks, but after I gave her a gift card she texts me “so i know you don’t like me for some reason anymore, but thanks for the giftcard that was so sweet and thoughtful of you” uhhh again bitch, just say thanks and go.
So here we are now, still receiving weekly texts (i blocked her number now), still trying to start drama with me and all my inlaws (which are her inlaws also), still has red hair. And one of the most unfortunate parts is that I know that even if I block her and her bf on everything she will find a way to contact me/weasel her way in. She became very close with our inlaws (whom i despise lolll) and they love starting drama too, so I know they will bring it up if I do block her.
Shit just sucks cuz I thought I had a cool ass friend at first, turns out she was a fuckin crazy cunt.
Sorry for the novel, if u made it this far bless you you will receive 10 years of good luck.
Actually now that you mention it, i noticed i rarely get truly thirsty unless i'm drunk, exercising hard, it's a really hot day, etc, some other obvious reason. But on any average day where none of those factors apply? I'll get dehydration symptoms like super dark pee or light headedness before I experience the feeling of thirst. When I was a kid I would get thirsty any time I hadn't drank water in a few hours, it operated just like hunger. I think it changed sometime around high school.
So I do need to remind myself to drink water or I could easily let myself become very dehydrated. What's up with that? Anyone else?
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I read all this for some reason. I don't understand how people have drama like this beyond the age of 14, let alone parallel to being married and having in-laws. Are you all red necks or something ?
I feel so stuck.
I'm 26, I never finished high school, and although I've been enrolled at Open University for a few years I haven't finished a single class (or even decided what I actually want to do). I've lost most of my hobbies out of lack of motivation, and I can't work on my current visa (I live with my Australian boyfriend for most of the year and the only visas I can currently get are tourist ones), so I'm just unqualified, unskilled, useless, and empty.
I was one of those "gifted" kids who was always top of the class with minimum effort, which worked really well for me until mental illness appeared and I had no clue how to memorise, revise, or even learn things with brain fog and zero energy. I got Cs in my GCSEs (which was seen as a failure by my family, yay) and I dropped out of A Levels twice at two different colleges. I started seeing psychiatrists, psychologists, and counsellors, hoping to get out of this mental hell so I could actually start my life, but so far nothing's helped.
Everyone tells me I'm very bright, but I really don't see it. I don't see anything left in me at all, and I don't know how I let myself become this non-person. I don't know if I can even begin to fix this. I feel totally disconnected from my body and everything around me, and I just want it to stop. I want to wake up and find out the past twelve years have been a dream, go to the doctor, and nip everything that's fucked me over in the bud so it doesn't turn me into this waste of life.
I want to be better.
Lmfao! I am not a red neck.
It’s literally why I don’t make friends, and I was venting about the one time I did.
But I agree it’s dumb fuckin drama, hence why I got tf out after less than 3 months of attempting to be her pal. And a lot of “14 yr old drama” comes from having inlaws. It’s why I see them once every month or so.. idk man. Just ventin in the vent thread.
Agreed, mine used to convince me
to copy her
by saying things like "oh you're just like me we both like X" "you don't want that you want this instead" and now that it doesn't work she's had to resort to copying me instead kek. >>326839
Sorry anon. I didn't realize until my early 20s. It's painful to realize but ultimately you'll come away with so much less guilt and confusion.
same, anon. i'm 24 and almost in the exact same situation you describe, except i know lifelong physical abuse significantly contributed to my psychological and cognitive problems. i have terrible memory, feel like i can never think, and am just terrified of academic environments now thanks to having been bullied by teachers all my life for coming into school sobbing everyday, and have severe math anxiety. i have no passion for anything, hobbies, nothing. idk how people manage to give a shit about their careers when i can't even gaf enough to play a video game or practice guitar.
since you're in the uk (i assume), you should look into moclobemide. i wish i could get it here in the US, but it isn't approved (for no reason other than, i assume, profit motive). it might help you with your problems, and most anti-depressants are largely unhelpful for most people. MAOIs are the most effective, and this one has none of the dangerous side effects of older MAOIs, basically.
I've come to a realization, both from my own for a long time and a wakeup call from a friend in a particular friend group in college I have but I don't know if it is too late to do anything.
I.. at least used to be super needy, insecure, emotionally draining shitty person who gets triggered by minor signs of possible rejection, always saying sorry for stupidest shit like dancing too much when drunk or saying things I percieved as rude in my head but no one actually cares, also complained too much about myself and how 'no one wants to be my friend' all that crap. Still, the friend ground put up with me for a year but I haven't really got to be close with anyone, or the people I was previously close with have distanced themselves away.
So this academic year I tried to do less of that, and my particular friend in that group that gave a wakeup call that a lot of people 'wanted to like me' but I annoyed them. Although he told me that if I go to the friend group events and keep low key or talk to people who are still friendly, it will eventually changes. Some might change their opinion about me but it will be hard at first. (It's a club and he used to be the president anyway)
Is he's giving me a false promise? Do you think this kind of comeback story is even possible when people have built up perception and status quo around me as needy and 'do not interact' state?
I have other friends that doesn't belong to this circle and that I haven't showned them my annoying neediness much and it is partly 'fine' if I ditched them. But for me it just means that I lost the game (again), and I am particularly sensitive with abandonment.
Still, I don't know how to 'truly' stop being insecure. I can go feeling like I have everything together to useless piece of shit in the matter of minute by a dismissive comment. It is like I can other see my own worth through the action of others. 'Fake it till you make it' only feels fake to me, it works good at first until a hint of rejection comes and I broke down. Really want to change and improve though. Any advice?
Fuck anon, this hits home. Former "gifted kid" and now my memory and cognitive abilities are completely fucked after years of depression and failing to cope with unresolved trauma, plus major anxiety about academic settings and any kind of exam situation.
You should definitely keep seeing psychs, honestly it's a painful process but it's not too late to turn things around.
hopping on the "this hits home" wagon. turned 25 today, only got a seasonal job until january right now, no proper education, only shitty useless English courses compiled from both times I dropped out of uni due to depression. I was born in eastern europe where mental health/therapy isn't talked about and maybe up until I was 20 I believed being on meds for your brain problems wasn't fixing it, like you weren't REALLY you if you're on meds, you know?
Also the idea of seeing a psychiatrist makes me super uncomfortable. I can't imagine being vulnerable to a stranger who's only there for the paycheck. I find it really hard to convince myself therapists actually give a shit about helping you out, and I don't want to go through "sampling" several doctors until I settle on "the right one", cause then I'll be burdened by disgust with myself knowing that up until that theoretical point I will have had to have been vulnerable to different strangers at different times for no reason and it just feels so embarrassing even thinking about it.
I went to a therapist once when I had some cash to spare, he was some old fart that listened to me for 10 minutes about how I wanna kms all day erryday, and prescribed me 2 types of meds for a month, one I don't remember and one was Escitalopram (aka Cipralex or Lexapro) and it just made me space out, so since then the idea of talking to a therapist or going on meds again has been making me wanna puke so I just smoke pot for my anxiety, but it doesn't help with depression much.
Anyone here get over that somehow?
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“gifted” is such a bullshit label. i wish my parents actually tried to understand why i acted out and how everything i did when i was younger was a trauma reaction instead of insisting i was just a misunderstood genius who needed to be fixed with therapy and pills.
i’ll never be able to feel loved, hahaha
Same. 26 and former "gifted" kid.
Right at 8th grade is when it all went into the gutter. I can't focus for shit anymore. Most of this was because my narc parents went into financial troubles and started blaming me for everything and calling me ugly.
I used to be able to read 5th grade level books in 2nd grade. I was top of my class all the way until 6th grade.
When I got to high school I was barely passing. I graduated with a 2.6 GPA. On top of this, my parents were pressuring me to go to college.
When I went to college, I lost all motivation. I was skipping classes and doing the bare minimum because of my parents continuing to blame me for not doing good enough. I took classes that applied to what I wanted to major in and I had my parents telling me almost every day I was wasting time and money despite getting government assistance.
I ended up dropping out after a year and a half because of their harassment. Now that I'm out of college, my parents keep pestering me to go back. I moved out ASAP and I refuse to speak to them now unless it's necessary.
They really fucked up my brain. I went to a therapist for almost half a decade and it helped me immensely. Basically the only thing I can do about my parents is just avoid them and don't fall for their tactics that they suddenly care.
Seriously. I've been on Accutane twice and both times it did work, but my acne returned after a few months. So what should I do, just be on Accutane for the rest of life? It'll be a short one, since I'll die of liver failure within ten years kek.>>326911
I have tried that. To be honest, at this point I've pretty much tried everything. Nobody's ever really been able to say "Try this!" to me and have it not been something that I already tried.
omg, im so sorry, anon. that sucks so bad. iirc like, 85% of people have it cured after their first round. what mg were you on? my derm told me there were better results by taking it twice a day rather than once. so, instead of 40 mg once, do 20 mg twice a day. did your derm happen to try that? did you try spiro? did you try finacea? finacea worked a little for me, but not for the jaw/hormonal acne, fml.
i hate the "just go on birth control!" as if that shit doesn't make it worse, or every derm's willingness to spread antibiotic resistance by putting you on doxy for like the 1932409238493th time as if does shit.
on the upside, at least going on accutane twice probably undid like, every bit of skin damage you had. i read studies saying that people's skin all over their body was way less prone to aging and wrinkles afterwards, so i guess there's that upside. i hope you find a solution soon. this shit sucks.
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i'm on 100 mg of spiro and it's definitely managing mine, but i just want the 'cure' to see if it'll work because this is still fucking annoying, so if accutane doesn't work for you again, i'd def recommend at least fighting with them for it.
why did they put you on such a low dose if you have anything more than mild acne or don't weigh like, 60 lbs???? all the research i did on accutane suggested that low-dose leads to it coming back.
i think you should ask for a normal round at the regular dose. my acne isn't even as bad as pic related and i'm about to go on 40 mg daily and i only weigh 98 lbs, which does fit the conventional guideline for it. i think you can legit be cured if you go on a normal treamtent for it. i read that accutane also helps in cases that would benefit from spiro because it has a marked effect on anti-mullerian hormone, so women with slight hyperandrogenism (just to the degree that their oil production is increased, for example), benefitted a lot (at a normal dose!).
I'm not sure! I'm skinny and had pretty bad cystic acne, but I also have mental health problems so I guess that's probably why. I'm in the UK and it's a nightmare to get on Accutane at all here, they make you go for a psychiatric evaluation and sign a form saying if you get pregnant you'll get an abortion and all sorts of other stuff.
My acne isn't as bad as it was before I went on Accutane, I used to get huge cystic clusters that made my face look like the surface of the moon. I don't really get those anymore, it's more like I get lots of tiny little spots all over my cheeks and jaw. I really hope a higher dose can just blast those out of me.
uuugh, that sucks! i read that the link between depression/suicidality/your mental health worsening was actually like, way overhyped/was sort of disproven and the link is super, super, super weak, but i guess the NHS can't afford to take risks and whatnot. and same here, it's super regulated to the point where you have to sign up with govt programs, take comprehension tests online and with your dermatologist every single month about the risks, pregnancy tests and blood tests every month, and if you fail to pick up your script within a few days, you have to go 30 days without accutane to verify again that you're not pregnant and retake your comprehension tests. it's insane.
either way, i really hope they give you a higher dose this time, because going on it twice already is super crazy, and i hope that you're finally cured. praying for you!
Interesting, that's actually one I don't think I've tried unless it has another name. Off the top of my head the supplements I've tried (of varying doses) are Vit B5, D, A, E, Maca, Evening Primrose Oil, Saw Palmetto, Magnesium (both oil and in capsules) and Zinc, all to no effect (except B5, which made me break out like crazy).
I'll have a look into MSM, thanks anon!
I know it might sound dumb, but I have pretty bad paranoia when I'm on the rag and in public. I bleed insane amounts and it hurts so bad it resonates in my guts and I'm scared as fuck of bleeding through on the job or getting a bad spasm in front of a customer. If you don't know what a period induced intestinal spasm feels like then you're really lucky. Also I'm not about to get high before work so you're half-right, I'm coping with the bad paranoia about tomorrow.>>326976>just to get high and omg chill out n get munchies bro
literally never said that, I said "to wind down". I'm not high 24/7 and I only smoke small hits throughout the day when I'm at home, but I'm not about to defend myself to hell and back either cause I know it's a psychological addiction I wanna get rid of. I guess I made it seem like I deepthroat 10 blunts a day but it's more like an average of 5 pipe hits throughout the day.
Yeah therapists get paid for talking to you but a good therapist won't let you feel it, plus it also means you can just skip any of the issues/awkwardness that come with telling family and friends that you want to kys or how much you hate yourself, it makes for pretty bad conversation.
Your mileage may vary but in my experience most mental health professionals do actually care about their clients.
just tell her you need your privacy on weekends and can't have her over constantly. she's responsible for getting her own ass home. she can uber if it's such an issue or not go out. ez.>>327136
lmao anon is not responsible for housing her friend every weekend? it doesn't make her a shit person for wanting privacy in her own apartment instead of having some mooch in her bed half the day.
She lives just outside the city so it's not too far away. She could just take a bus to go home, which is what I'd do if I was in her position. This behavior is so new to me because staying over at a friend's place after going out just wasn't a thing at all in my old friend circle. Everyone would just go back to their own place and that was completely normal.
Also it's not like we're hanging out 1 on 1 at night, we're usually out with a group of friends but she always wants to stay at mine because my apartment is the most central one.
Man I feel you hard on this.
I care a lot about the environment and live in a country where many people are conscious about climate change, but even here you get stupid rednecks who live in the sticks and complain about the government hiking up petrol prices and go out in the street with their tractors and ancient cars and block roads in protest. Many of them could feasibly take public transportation but they don't want to because it's not convenient for them, or they think global warming is a Jewish conspiracy.
I try to live a relatively eco-friendly lifestyle as much as I can within my means, try to buy second hand clothes and as little plastic as I can, I buy less red meat and eat organic whenever possible, buy makeup refills and stick it in my magnetic palette or just buy palettes made of cardboard etc.
But then I go on the internet and see girls paying top dollar for plastic extensions, hoarding expensive makeup and bragging about their skincare/makeup "hauls", always spending money on new limited edition shit, beauty gurus lying through their teeth and shilling tons of products, and so on.
Then when you say this culture is toxic (which it is, especially to women) and harmful people defend themselves and talk out of their ass about how makeup is totally feminist and they do it for themselves and how I'm only shitting on it because it's a women's hobby and men's hobbies are never considered wasteful and shallow (even though they totally are, from collectors to car and motorbike enthusiasts.
We're going to hell and there's nothing I can do about it.
I love you anons! It's difficult to discuss this with anyone irl because a lot of people think you're talking down on them and even then, I doubt it's going to change anything on a larger scale.
It just feels so lonely when you don't enjoy the materialistic imperative of our modern society. I posted before about wanting to join a covenant. I'm not religious by any means but I don't have any motivation to pursue a career or a romantic relationship. The only thing I truly care about is our environment so as soon as I help out my siblings I've told myself to become more active in that regard.
It would be a hundred times easier to just accept and succumb to become a normie for a want of a better word, but it just feels fake overall.
> I try to live a relatively eco-friendly lifestyle as much as I can within my means, try to buy second hand clothes and as little plastic as I can, I buy less red meat and eat organic whenever possible, buy makeup refills and stick it in my magnetic palette or just buy palettes made of cardboard etc.
Thank you! It's heartwarming even in minus degrees that there are people like you that apply what they believe in. I've volunteered in a few environmentalist organisations and it's disheartening how many take it as a once in a week/month thing. Granted, it's not always easy but every small action matters.
>>327224>inb4 i havent done anything im a failure etc
You may feel that way but that doesn't mean you don't deserve love. Unless you fucking killed someone you deserve to be happy like anyone else. I mean look, there are people who fuck over others every day, make life as worse as possible for others, and they're still happy. If they can, why can't you be too? You may have stumbled a bit but that doesn't mean you deserve to feel awful about yourself. I feel like such a meme normie saying this but happiness is a choice. You have to allow yourself to change and open up to the possibilities life has to offer. It may seem dark and grim, but you are just looking at it from the dark and grim viewpoint. The dark and grim viewpoint sucks and is gay and hasn't worked for all these years. I know it's not as easy as saying "oh just think positively!!!" because I know you can't stop the negative thoughts right now. But if you look at something see it fully. See all the negative and positive. Maybe little by little your viewpoint will get a little less dark.
What you're doing now is a good start. Drinking water, brushing your teeth, etc. They may seem like little things, but those modest steps of taking care of yourself add up into something bigger. Maybe the next day you can take another little step, like clearing your desk of clutter, reading a few pages of a book you were interested in, or going out on a short 5 minute walk. All these things add up.
>Finally get accepted for mentally health, again!
>Have to go for evaluation
>Go with then bf because nervous and I have been postponing it for years
>Lady kicks him out so rudely like
>I try talking about my life
>She keeps bringing up my now absent father, never lets me finished my sentences, talks OVER me, finishes my sentences for me before it's over, quickly changes subject
>I start getting mad
>She asks why I'm rude about it
>I tell her why and she snickers
This women has absolutely bad reviews on Rate my MD (which I didn't actually care for till I met her)
End of the day, the evaluation went bad, I never got to talk about my issues, like my sociopath symptons or my family's past with mental illness.
They said they'd call back to tell me my next appointment, I wanted a good few month just to find out that I won't be going through that shit, and that I should just see with my family doctor my sympstoms and shit.
I'm so furiated, and since meeting her I've been more self destructive because I have given up hope on ever getting better, and have attempted suicide once.
kind of similar but I feel the same about (not to use a meme word) patriarchal culture. I'm so uncomfortable with how so much of our culture is driven by male desire, right wing tradthots or left wing sex pozzies it doesn't matter, its all the same.I just want to exist as a person, I don't want to have to appeal to men to "make it" in the professional world or be viewed as valuable or whatever, but I just feel so hopeless about it. It is so,so much easier to exist in society if I'm wearing a full face of makeup, feminine clothing, have my hair done etc (I get complimented! I get listened to (to n extent) and smiled at! people tell me I'm pretty! I get hired!) and I don't know how to break away from it, and break away from needing validation/being told I'm pretty and thus worth something.
also I literally cannot talk to other girls about it because as soon as I start talking about how femininity is an invention to please men and display submission they get personally offended and have to let me know how wearing lipstick and caked on foundation and contouring to hide how they really look is ACKSHUALLY totally their choice and not at all influenced by insecurity or male validation and how I shouldn't "demonise femininity" and how women "choose to be feminine uwu".
sorry for the angry feminist rant but I am just so exhausted and tired of being shot down every time I try to talk to other women about how maybe, just maybe, male/societal validation might influence the way they consume and the way they want to make themselves look. it's like they all view this as a personal attack, like I am saying that they personally are too stupid to make their own choices, even though I'm influenced by it too! we literally all are whether we like it or not! like I wear makeup, I dress up in uncomfortable and restrictive clothing, I diet, but at least I can admit that its because I am rewarded socially if I do those things and I don't just do them "because they make ME feel pretty uwu… its just for me!!!!". literally no one will listen to criticism of femininity as an invention for male consumption, not other women, and definitely not males, so sometimes I think I should just shut up and take it and stop trying.>>327218
also not religious and genuinely considering becoming a nun to opt out of modern society, it makes me too sad. would prefer to become a monk but even there am I blocked by being a woman lmfao
yeah, I think you're right that I need to be a little gentler and try to see things from their perspective better. I just get so incensed by the gilded cage we all live in, especially when people refuse to see it as a cage or even at all.
which kind of begs the question if its better to rage against it to mostly very little success or to just give up and decorate it, and if the second option is even giving up or rather just making the most of a bad situation. sometimes I forget that mostly people just want to live a comfortable life and do what they can.
it's okay anon, i feel like this sometimes as well. i tried to have a heart to heart about how sometimes the plight of people really affects me, and they just went on about how people should try harder to succeed and that people are too lazy. no, derp that's the exact plight i was lamenting.
i think planting a seed in someone's mind is hard though, but your heart is definitely in the right place! maybe try talking to someone about a 3rd party that they don't necessarily care for, it might be easier for them to self reflect, but then again sometimes doing that is too painful. many people just want to remain ignorant, and others try to hide themselves because they know too much.
sometimes i like to watch historical drama type films about women (many of them are chinese) and it gives me a lot of perspective on just how strong they were, and how strong many women of today are. but it's hard to appreciate sometimes because reality pulls you back it.
sorry for ranting, i just really get so caught up in stuff like this and i really know how you feel! (hope i didn't come off as rude)
>>327321>i tried to have a heart to heart about
heart to heart with my close friend about…
I know you feel anon. It's so frustrating when other women insist on being willfully blind and act like they just grew up in some sort of cultural vacuum. Like it's some sort of coincidence that everything that makes them feel good about themselves happens to be the exact same thing that the media has been telling them women "should" do or be since the day they were born.
I don't even feel mad at women for shaving or wearing make-up or whatever. I just wish they could say "Yeah I do these things at least partly because I've been influenced to do so."
As stupid as it sounds, remember to breathe during the interview. Like you said you have experience in the field.
You should go and see a doctor now, it sounds like an infection and you literally can die if you don't take care of it as soon as you can. Also if you get a fever on top of that now it means you should really hurry.
I had symptoms like yours a couple years back and had an emergency apppointment to rip my tooth out as soon as possible when I told my doctor what's going on.
I'm glad you're alive, but this is the last time I'm going to check to confirm that. I'm moving on with my life and it's not healthy for me to keep checking in on you behind your back. I'm so ready to let you go and that elates me - I can't remember the last time I was this consistently happy, and it turns out all I had to do was love myself and appreciate the people who have always loved me. I am enough and so are they. Life is really fucking beautiful.
For the sake of letting go, I do have to admit I was initially hurt by how soon you replaced me, and how easily you fell into patterns you'd had with me. I didn't understand it. It was like you just picked up where we'd ended, only with a new girl in my place. Everything was the same. It freaked me out for a while, made me think I was just an unremarkable placeholder and I could have been just about any girl while we were together. Maybe that was true for you, but you know what? That's not reflective of me, and that's not my fault. That's a 'you' problem, a sign of your own issues with relationships and the way you view(ed?) women. I'm more than whatever replaceable object you may have thought me to be. And I truly hope your new girl is more to you than a convenient someone to fill an empty space because you're lonely. I don't even know the girl, and I should probably hate her or whatever, but I really just wish you both the best.
I hope you've found your version of happiness. I'm finally at peace.
oh anon, I feel you
My periods used to go on for months because I had too much androgen or something and it was terrible. I found that hormonal birth control helped regulate the periods, but the pills gave me some iffy mental side effects. I have the mirena iud now and stopped bleeding entirely, which was like a breath of fresh air to me. Irregular menses are so shitty. Have you thought about asking your gyno to check if everything is okay hormone-wise? I hope things work out soon!!
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>be me in 2016, severely depressed retard with aspergers living in a foreign country for studies
>make okcupid account just because i needed friends (online, i cant talk irl for shit)
>start talking with guy from my city who i didnt think we were going to talk much at first but turns out he's the most fascinating person ever
>didnt meet him because it was never my plan, though I start considering it more and more
>the more we talk the more we realise each other is what we were looking for in a person
>he says he loves me and i say i love him too and but still doesn't meet because my mental health state was genuinely terrible and his wasn't also that good so it wouldn't be the fairest chance for a relationship
>my mother dies and he acts really mean and i fucking lose it so i block him everywhere and go back to my country to get better before i ruin everything with him and do something stupid
>fast forward to early 2018, i spent all this year taking care of my health and did much progress, my main motivation was him, even though i knew he might not even like me anymore or not wanna talk to me, it was all fine by me
>go back to foreign country in january and he reaches out to me on facebook
>says he couldnt forget me the entire time and he still loved me, and loved me the entire time i was gone
>we start talking but it takes until june for us to meet so i could be 100%
>best time of our lives, we are so good together
>about a week ago i was in his house using his computer while he was showering
>going to save a pic when i notice some text files
>nothing too weird, some copy pasted stuff, but then i see his 'diaries'
>random bits about his life and thoughts and i was so happy to have an insight about how he thinks
>see entry from a month before we met
>talking about a girl he met while i was gone, describing her as the song 'bennington' from john maus, saying when they met he felt like she was the right person just a fucking month before we met
>even more recent entries of after we met of him asking about her on his tarot readings, he clearly wasnt over her
>turns out he moved on really fast after i stopped talking to him, the girl left him, and now we magically loves me
>says he was in love with me while in love with her
god i feel like a fucking used stopgap but i dont know if i am blowing things out of proportion. i cant think one would stop loving someone that quickly, and i feel betrayed because if i knew he felt like that i wouldnt have met him or would have waited until his feelings for her went away. farmers am i being a retard?
also sorry for wall of text, i'm the worst at being brief
Oh god anon, I'm so sorry. I think you should leave if he's clearly into more than one person at once. There's the chance that he'll do it again when you're with him, it's not uncommon for people who have done this once to do it again.
The fact he wasn't over her and seeing you is a big, big red flag. I think you should just try to quietly step out of the relationship and not mention the diary, and if he throws a big enough fit just send him the files and tell him to read over it again.
Tbh if you can send them to yourself, it may be good as proof should anything go down.
Holy shit. The biggest red flag isn't the other girl but the fact that he flipped out when your mother died. He knows you have depression and instead of supporting you he kicked you down. He doesn't care about you. And then regarding the other girl, if he supposedly fell out of love that quickly, what's stopping him from falling out of love with you (not that he was in love in the first place)
Love yourself and let him go anon. You deserve better.
Thank you for the kind words and advice, I genuinely appreciate it. What happened about my mum is that his sense of humour often was very mean without meaning to be like that. I warned him beforehand to go easy with the comments but he didn't do so. I don't think he tried to make me feel bad with it, it's just how it came out. In any case I distanced myself at the moment because it really was painful.
About the diaries I brought it up already and he tried to explain but it made it all worse. There's no way I can wrap my head around why he would do that. For now he says he doesn't even think about the girl anymore.. I don't know. I'm trying to heal but this is taking such a tool on my mental health and even physical health, it's just been really bad. I hate being this dramatic but I don't think I can really break up with him, or continue being with him, I've been considering suicide pretty often those days and it makes me feel guilty to even think about it. But to go on without someone I motivated my progress on for 3 years it's just something I can't see myself doing, and to continue being with him it's just so painful. Sorry for the drama.
I don't actually believe men can "love" the way we do, maybe he uses the word to describe someone he's into. It sounds like he was into other girls while you were gone, which is not surprising as men aren't loyal >inb4 go back to the man hate threa
However if you enjoy being with him, keep going, just know that he is obviously potentially a fan of more than one woman at a time
Your progress happened because of YOU, not him. He didn't help you, YOU did the work. Be proud of your progress. You sound like a wonderful kind person. Just don't expect the same emotions and dedication from a man as from yourself, I learned this too.
He is not the thing. The important thing is you.
I think I might actually hate transwomen.
I'm writing it here, not in gender critical thread, because I have nobody who would openly agree with me - all of my friends and me are LGBT, and country where I'm from is not a queer-friendly one, so it makes more sense for us to stick together and not critisise one another.
But somehow I can't see most of them as women. Not beacuse of appearance or male bone structure, it's something about behaviour, exaggerated femininity that is just not natural, feels like drag or acting. I believe that people can feel that they are born in a wrong body, I also believe that starting HRT is quite a brave step, but something inside me sees it as very wrong, even repulsive. I'm really ashamed of thinking like this, because a society around me hates lesbians and transwomen equally and it's not going to change for a long time here. My country needs progressive views, but hating transwomen is not progressive at all, so it all produces a conflict inside me.
Not once in my life have I met a transwoman who wasn't misogynistic to some degree. That's why I can't stand them. They might be "nice people" but they still have very sexist views on what being a woman is like and they always fetishize the fuck out of women and/or belittle the challenges they go through in their daily lives, putting their problems with m-muh dysphoria above everything else. >Women getting catcalled or harassed? Well that's just hot! I wish I would get harassed, it would validate me as a woman!
I hang around the tech and anime crowd and you see these sorta people ALL the time and they're often either perverts or filled with a ton of hate for women. >>327736
The statistics actually say that during a longer time period, the trans people who have gone through SRS are actually in much higher suicide risk than people who didn't. The initial "euphoria" after surgeries is very short-lived, around few years.>>327738
You hit the nail on the head. Have you seen the amount of money companies providing surgeries, implants and hormone treatments are giving to universities to produce studies supporting transgenderism? Google The Pritzker family for example. The treatment for trans people has become a massive business during the last decade.
I'm one of the terven horde but so many things about SRS piss me off. I'm morbidly fascinated by SRS so I've read a lot about it, and there are some hack doctors like Toby Meltzer out there taking advantage of the fact that not many doctors do SRS so it's an easy market to crack. So they do a hatchet job on these poor people, who then have trouble finding any other doctor willing to fix it because they could get sued if they can't fix the botch job some other doctor performed.
I don't know how those doctor sleep at night.
i honestly disagree with your first points. mainly because of the sheer fact that they are just men buying what they were sold. that's why most of them are trans in the first place, they're being fed this dumb idea about how women are and eating it all up to the point that they want their own piece of it.
i don't think they deserve to be manipulated, especially in a way that both validates them and allows for manipulating people who aren't shit (like children)
Fuck, I wish I thought of it before.
Though my dad is the type that would try to find a cheaper version and insist on that one.
Thanks anyway anon.
Hey man i'm with >>327774
literally never know what could happen. Having a way out is needed. I say this because my coworker had a really nice paying job and a really nice house with him and his wife. He got laid off and they lost their home. And they've kinda been struggling ever since. Having a backup plan will not hurt you.
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My boyfriend finally said something about my Alcoholism Lite™️. It’s a legit problem and I hate that I never did much about it, I used to have a big drug problem, and a multitude of disorders and such. I’ve been to many group therapies and they really don’t work for me when it comes to those topics, I do have a really good therapist though. I said some really concerning things while drunk that I deeply regret and was letting my HPD control me deeply.
Is right. You did that progress yourself. It's easy to say "my goal is what drove me" but the entire work came from you. He did nothing to help, don't give him a shred of credit. Don't kill yourself over him, he's not worth it. You are the single most important person in this entire thing and damned be anyone else.
Love yourself even when it's hard, focus on your mental health first. Your brain can be fucked sometimes, treat it like an anxious friend rather than an anxious you and things get a bit easier to rationalize and handle.
Had a situation just like this. Like others said, be uninterested. Don't lash out. Don't hate her. Fuckin kill her with kindness if you can. Girls who leech HATE that shit from gfs. They WANT to cause drama and strife, they WANT to worm between people to make themselves feel better.
If you act out towards her, it just fuels her to go harder into infiltrating your group while playing innocent about why you hate her. If you treat her like anyone else in the server, she gets thrown off and bored. If you're super nice to her, she's gonna be really uneasy about why and most likely leave.
If you can beat her at her own game, it's a great tactic. Be the Queen Bee in that server and don't let her forget who you are. Add her on fb if you can, like all her pics. Don't let her get the upper hand of innocent and cute and polite. Beat her to the punch.
It leaves a shit taste in your mouth but sometimes it's the better road to take. She'll get bored and move on soon enough.
I didn't say anything about her boyfriend specifically. I made generalizations about guys, and efamous gamer dudes, specifically, because of the fact that women in these communities hang all over them so there's an uncommon amount of 'threat'. Anyone dating anyone well known does
have reason to be concerned when any kind of status is involved, tbh, especially when communities attract BPD-ass costhots, changirls, or minor cows. Nothing about her bf, specifically. She has persistent fears of being cheated on and isn't very confident, which I understand, which is why I said that specific scenario can be hell for people who aren't very confident.
The thing is we used to have the kind of relationship where we could joke around, but I've started noticing it's more me joking around and her going too far and bringing up stuff she knows I'm uncomfortable with. It's partially my fault for making her think I'm okay with her saying stuff like that and never calling her out on it. >>327943
Definitely. She'll go on a long rant about something that happened to her and then basically ignore me when I share anything about myself.
I think I just need to make more friends and spend less time around her
Aw, anon, if your friends do that to you that’s really shitty of them! You deserve to have someone to listen to you too without being an ass about it.
My friends are sweet, mainly because I’ve distanced myself from everyone who’s been kind of iffy to me, but I’ve had someone ghost me for a while before because I said I was at an event and an ex friend who talked shit about me to my face and then expected me to still be friends with them. it’s easier with friends I know in real life, but sometimes it’s just very tiring feeling like a human journal for others. Sometimes it feels like the conversation will divert back to them and only them, even if I’m struggling with something too. I think the only people to consistently blow off my problems are my family members, which sucks
no you just bought me back to earth a little, honestly. I really like feminist philosophy from the 50s-80s for a similar reason in that it reminds me just how hard so many women have fought and are fighting.
sometimes its easy to forget to ascribe other women the rich inner life and turmoil I know they have and just criticise. I should really be kinder to my allies.
If you don't expose yourself to socialising, and all the scary stuff that comes with it like embarrassment and rejection, you'll never get better. Im coming from a similar place- today I handed out a bunch of resumes and every time someone even said "sorry we're not hiring" a part of me felt like I would die from personal rejection, I was worried they'd think I was stupid or spergy, but you know what? Tough shit. You just have to keep going.
Something that helps me is that strangers literally won't even remember you two weeks from now, and even people you know are caught up with themselves. No one cares how you act.
people with a "mean" sense of humour are just mean people who want to avoid responsibility for what they say.
saying this as someone with a mean sense of humour.
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My boyfriend isn't in love me anymore. He seems so tired and down and negative nowadays, I'm not sure if it's mostly life circumstances or mostly me. He said he's willing to work on things, but he's the type that would rather withdraw into escapism and pretend nothing's happening. I know he still definitely cares about me, he goes out of his way to do things for me and worries about me. But he doesn't want to hang out at all. Whenever I take the initiative and find something we can do, he looks so sad and lethargic.
I talked to him about it already. He just tells me he can't find a solution for us. It stresses him out and makes it difficult for him to enjoy our time together. It makes me so sad because no matter how much I reach out to him my feelings don't seem to reach him. I don't know how things ended up this way. He used to tell me every day I was the best thing in his life, he wanted to be mine forever, he wanted us to get married and be together forever. We spent so much time together. How was that all a lie? I know the obvious solution is to leave and find someone who cares. But I just can't do that, I'm too loyal in relationships and take them too seriously. I can't just throw him aside just because we've having a difficult time.
I know he's depressed for sure, but maybe a majority of it is because he's living with someone he doesn't love anymore? It hurts so much. I keep going through cycles of despair and then I try to mask it with fake positivity. I'm irrationally waiting for some sign from the universe, that this can be worked through with time.
absolutely. sex dysphoria should be solved with therapy and treatment of comorbid conditions, not mutilation. I don't feel feminine and feel dysmorphic about my features because I don't think they're feminine enough, when will the NHS fund my plastic surgeries lol
however autogynephilia should be treated with suicide
Transwomen be like "I know I was a woman because I like slice of life anime and got erections when I thought about wearing a schoolgirl outfit">>327750
not even a caricature of a woman, don't grant them that. they're just men
Do you for real want to be financially dependent on a man for at least the next eighteen years and linked to him permanently?
Seriously though your reasoning is just "I want to have a kid cause I'm lazy" and that will not lend itself to motherhood. A child is not an out of responsibility. Be an adult.
Be aware of the time of year. Be aware of his outer life circumstances, don’t constantly question him about his feelings towards you or force him to go to things he’s not interested in but do force him to get out. Long term relationships go through feelings dips. Typically the depressed partner will shut down the more you act like it’s an issue for you and drum up drama (unless they’ve admitted it’s gone too far and they need help) I know it’s actually kind of worse to be on the other end of the depression stick and if you can you should consider seeing a therapist yourself.
If this depression started like a month or two ago I suggest you buy oranges, bananas and a SAD lamp.
I know, it's hard for me to accept that those feelings are gone. I keep telling myself that they've just masked by his depression. He doesn't particularly enjoy anything anymore, it's not that far-fetched to me to feel like he doesn't want to be around me anymore. I know what you mean though, it's awful to stick around like a fool when I don't know if those feelings will come back.>>328077
Yeah, I fucked up yesterday and told him I didn't know what to do to help us and was scared that we felt like strangers. He knew I wasn't blaming him but I think it made him sadder. This past month I've given him a lot of space, not even asking him to spend time together. Sometimes I wonder if that makes it worse, if that will cause us to be more distant if we aren't spending time together. And I got him some supplements since we don't go out in the sun much and can't afford nutritious food like fish regularly, he's been taking them at least.
I wish we could afford a therapist, but work drains him so much I don't know if he'd even go if we could.
You're avoiding taking responsibility for your actions. If you do something like (just an example) get super drunk and behave very poorly at a social gathering and brush it off with "oh, its just my mental problems" this will not help you recover. In this scenario, thinking "Wow. I behaved really poorly, I'd better not do that again" is the sane and autonomous response. Don't guilt trip yourself either (the example here would be thinking "why can't I be like everyone else? I never do the right thing and I always make a fool of myself, I'm stupid and worthless and should be isolated") because that also defers responsibility.
You make your own choices, even if you're mentally ill. You can always strive to be better, and you don't have to beat yourself up about it. There is a middle ground.
I've been sad and insecure since I was in elementary school, I always did things for my parents and took care of my siblings whenever they asked me to. I never did good in school, in fact, I was a pretty dumb kid, so I avoided going at all cost but at least I tried to be a good daughter.
I started making friends in high school but I went through an identity crisis that lasted until I turned 19 because I tried to behave in a way that would please my friends, teachers, family… Without actually putting any effort on improving myself.
Since I've been a pretty gloomy but seemingly responsible person all my life my parents pity me and they don't hate me for doing the bare minimum.
But I'm just a twenty something high school dropout, extremely angry and bitter. I'm constantly changing my mind because I feel like I'm too dumb and thus my opinions are wrong. I feel worthless and empty. I don't have any passions, dreams or deep interests. I'm like an npc, and I hate saying that because that's just a disgusting meme, but that's how I feel.
This kind of thinks happens all the time, especially if your friends are male.
My friends were hinting and ~joking~ about me sucking the teacher's dick because I had a better grade and they were jealous.
I let it pass if it happens one time or two but I'll cut out anyone that is consistently jealeous of my achievements. You don't need that noise, anon. Anyone that can't even pretend to be happy for you is not worth of friendship.
I almost cried reading your response, anon, you're really kind.
>It doesn't have to be anything grandiose
But for some reason I feel like it should be something grandiose, that I should excel on whatever I do even though I have never excelled in anything nor I was pressured to do so.
I know that I should just do something and stop using my feelings and fears as an excuse for being lazy but I guess I'm jut too afraid of failure and what I really need to do is be brave and built my own life…
Thank you very much for your advice, really.
It really doesn't have to be grandiose at all. Do you know how people who build habits stick with them? They take a small step forward, something that doesn't seem imposing, and after a while they build the confidence to do more and more. Someone who is overweight might walk for 5 minutes. They do this long enough and eventually they increase it to the point where exercise itself doesn't seem so scary and they're motivated to run or cycle or lift. Something that seems horrifying at first can be worked up to in a series of small steps.
If you go headfirst in the chances you'll get overwhelmed and give up are high, especially at this point where you need to build up your confidence little by little and accomplish small things.
And so what if you fail or stumble a few times? Think if you had a dear friend who was going through a really hard time in their life. Would you start to hate them or tell them to give up? Of course not, you would cheer them on and support them. Do the same for yourself.
Sorry if this sounded kind of preachy, it just hurts me when I see people struggling with themselves. I see so many people who are so paralyzed with fear in their daily lives. Not just NEETs, but even people who are far in their career, unhappy and anxious because they're doing what's expected of them. They stop taking care of themselves, they stop enjoying life, they stop empathizing with people. Once you take away status, money, etc, everyone is struggling with themselves, we're all the same deep down. In the end, the goal isn't to be successful or right or perfect, but to do what makes you feel the most fulfilled.
She's saying her therapist
is brushing off ALL her decisions, personality traits etc as being "part of her mental illness" which is obviously dismissive of her personality, character traits etc. Rather than pinpointing actual issues. Sounds like a shitty therapist.
>Think if you had a dear friend who was going through a really hard time in their life>Do the same for yourself
I guess that's the issue, that I don't treat myself like I would treat another human being, I'm extremely hard on myself in a very negative way, I'm surprised that I haven't ended abusing drugs or in a toxic relationship (I do binge eat though) since I think I have masochist tendencies…
>Sorry if this sounded kind of preachy
Not at all, if anything, you sound like a worried friend, a worried and empathetic friend.
Thank you very much for all of your advice, if I'm being honest, you're not the only one that has told me these things (and I feel very grateful for their advice and patience too) but sometimes I feel like they're biased towards me because I've done things for them or because they love me, so of course they'd support me.
Also, with all the negativity and hatred I see online and irl and with how extremely ashamed I am of myself, I just want to hide from the world because I feel like people would judge me. And I know they will, and that there's nothing I can do about it because we all have our own prejudices and such, but the fact that you, a stranger, can be so empathetic towards someone you don't even know anything of reminds me that there's a lot of nice people out there.
So, again, thank you very much.
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I'm finally doing it. I'm going to ruin him piece by piece by piece socially. I want him fired, I want his family to hate him, I want everything in his life to go just as bad as mine.
He fucked me over for years, it's only fair I get back at him now. I'm going to expose him for the depraved freak he is.
This is correct. This is justice.
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I wanna know this story
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I know this is going to make me sound like a selfish bitch but I'm over it. My sister's best friend's family took me in a year ago after I had a horrible experience with a creepy landlord. I am honestly grateful for them but since moving there I have constantly been spending money on family events and vacations. At first I felt honored that they accepted me so I would always go but now its getting ridiculous. I dont pay a huge amount of rent but the exorbitant birthday parties and trips that seem to happen every month are adding up as its own utility. I am trying to move out but its extremely difficult when every other week there is a celebration and they need money for it. I know I can just say no but it looks horrible when everyone in the house goes/contributes money and Im the only one at home. I have said no before and someone always gets mad at me. It doesnt help that I am sort of a pushover. But right now its the last straw. They want to surprise their mom with a trip to the Bahamas which is super sweet but they are asking for $600 each by her birthday. It's fucking about to be Christmas and their moms birthday is in December. On top of that its their nieces 1st birthday that same month. While I do consider them family I feel like they forget that I have my own family (4 siblings and 2 nephews) that I want to spoil on Christmas especially since we havent had a normal christmas since my mom passed away when I was 17. Its honestly stressing me out. One of the sisters did tell me that I could give them whatever I can afford but if everyone is coughing up $600 and Im the only one giving less its going to cause drama because everyone knows how much rent I pay. They arent bad people they are just a big family that loves to do extravagant things and I am a cheapskate who likes to save as much as I can. I remember my first thanksgiving with them last year my sister didnt come until about 9pm (she gave money for food of course) and I thought she was rude, but now I understand why she didnt show up lol. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you to whoever reads!!
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tl;dr Grown men are fucked up
Former secondary school teacher groomed me into dating him growing up, turns out he's just a deranged fuck with too many fetishes (trannies, young teens/loli, old men, shoving things into anuses that should not be shoved in it, frequented orgies and didn't get tested etc etc) and has 0 regard for how his past actions affect his future actions.
I got older, he got bored with me and may or may not have drove me to suicide because I have amnesia from months ago and can't remember when I attempted it at all. He ruined my transition into early adulthood.
I just did some stuff to finally catch revenge on him, hoping it works. If not I'll just do fucked up shit to him everyday until it works.
that's so awful, anon. i'm so sorry.
!!!!DAILY REMINDER FOR YOUNG WOMEN TO BASICALLY NEVER SPEAK TO OR GET INVOLVED WITH OLDER MEN!!!!
Long-ish vent. Not sure if it belongs here. Really need to get off my chest.
I had an amazing cat for eight months. He was chubby, had silky white fur, always needed to hug someone or be hugged. He had two ginger spots on his ears that looked like a hairline. Kind of like someone combed his bangs apart. He had a weird baby meow, but I loved him anyway. He was in perfect health for those eight months. Two days ago he stopped eating. And now I have to keep his dead body in the living room until tomorrow morning, when I have the strength to go out and bury him, because halfway through the night he threw up his guts and died.
I know everyone laughs at the "fur-baby" moms, but I just can't help but feel like I lost my little baby. To a painful fucking death no less. He cried the whole two days, lost his voice in the end, couldn't walk, smelled like throw-up and blood, and died just like that. I'm lost. He didn't deserve this. He was the complete opposite of the evil plotting cat stereotype. My only consolation is that he's free from the pain he was in, but I'll never hold him in my lap again, and it's a horrible feeling.
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Maybe you can write some terms and conditions on how your commissions can be used? Like "i'll draw your dumb furry icon but if you use it for nsfw stuff i'll cut you" or something that's less violent.
Literally the reason I won't touch furry commissions.
Girl, YOU DO YOU.
I did the same with my ex after he fucked me over (by cheating) and pushed me against a mirror, the mirror broke and it cut me. He got FUCKED.
im so sorry anon. don't let anyone invalidate the grief you feel, its real and its ok to hurt a lot. that so terrible, I hope you can heal. at least he is no longer in pain.
my heart goes out to you.
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that's so fucked omg, but girl i'm glad you got some revenge. hopefully the dude is missing an appendage or something. cheaters and abusers are the worst kind of scum.
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I was at the receiving end of my mother's narc rage earlier and I'm still disturbed by the shit she said (reactive abuse - provoked me with mistreatment and then called me abusive for reacting to her abuse). She went full circle on breaking me down as a person, until it had nothing to do with the original reason we started to argue. Clearly I got baited into the argument and gave her the supply; I've been stressed out or else I'm usually keen to avoid it.
I now believe moving home temporarily to escape my shitty ex (read about his way of treating me here >>298872
) was a trap and a mistake, the argument we had just highlights her need to feel holier and in control.
Yet I don't feel like there was a better option. It was either deal with her shenanigans or keep on with my ex.
I moved into the guest bedroom a little over a month ago because I'm not in a financial spot to afford rents on my own. My parents both said I was welcome here, "even if I had to stay for a year." They weren't gonna charge me rent or nothing. I've been trying to make myself as scarce as possible however, like staying with friends and this new guy I'm seeing overnight in the city on the basis of the half-truth that it cuts my commute time. In reality, it's because I know the welcome in regards to my mother always wears thin no matter what wonderful things she promises initially.
I offer to do chores when I'm here, buy groceries, and make sure to spend a bit of time with them both and be around for occasions like her birthday. All things that generally express my gratitude, but also my cautious reserve that if I don't do these things, she'll accuse me of taking advantage and imposing.
The goal of me moving back was to try to pay down some of my debts and look into finding a better job. I've been employed at a call center for the past three years and had been wanting to quit it for the last two, but I felt pressured to carry on with it because of expectations. Yet it's been very clear from the start that my time left at my current company would be coming to an end as I had been updating my resume to apply to new jobs.
I wasn't too concerned about the when
of resigning since last month, because my ex was to send me a check to the tune of a couple thousand dollars owed to me through an insurance claim. He dragged his feet with it for longer than anticipated, but the money was meant to cushion my transition so as to be caught up with bills.
The check came today, and coincidentally I resolved to type up my two week's notice to quit my job. I applied to a plethora of jobs today.
I took the day off to drive home, and as soon as I walked into the door she was there (pensioned retiree). I was in a bit of a hurry to try to deposit my check before the bank closed, so I mentioned how I intended to type my two week's on the way out the door.
She replied "Yeah, well good luck
," in this horribly condescending, chiding tone complete with a look of disapproval.
I should have ignored it and let it go, but I was emotional and reacted accordingly.
"What do you mean 'good luck'? Do you think I won't find employment?"
Oh my god…what I had done in that moment. I injured her by questioning what she had said to me in a less-than-sweetly way.
To type the entire hour's exchange here would be exhausting, but here's some highlights:>"DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT US? WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE PAYING YOUR BILLS!"
Here she accused me of quitting my job so I could live at home unemployed to mooch off her fixed income despite me never asking her to help with my bills. Fun fact though: She solicited to help me pay bills if I "fell into trouble," but I knew this was a narc's promise and look how she redacted it the second she felt I had criticized her.
And because I wasn't going about switching jobs in the way she felt was correct, I was trying to swindle her of her money.
I defended by saying that the insurance check was meant to pad my bills so I can look for meaningful work, but that I got stymied by my ex withholding my money for longer than anticipated,>"ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO BLAME YOUR EX FOR YOUR CURRENT SITUATION? YOU CHOSE HIM!"
She tried to say because I found out a year after I moved in with my ex that he was manipulative and wasn't going to change, it was my fault for not magically knowing what he was like before I got myself into a situation that was harder to leave.
Ergo, my predicament for even having to move back home temporarily is my fault.
Burn victims choose to be burnt.
Abuse victims choose their abusers.
Because I knew she was misdirecting the argument to put everything about my life on blast, I retorted back to the main issue that this wasn't about my ex, but about how she talked to me when I told her I wanted to quit my job. And then,>"I NEVER SAID 'GOOD LUCK.'
Yes she did, said she was gaslighting me.>"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS. SORRY YOU MISINTERPRETED WHAT I SAID."
Yelled back if it's right to invalidate how I feel because I didn't understand her intent based on the tone.>"YOU'RE JUST A DUMB LITTLE GIRL THAT NEEDS TO GROW UP (I'm 28), YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A PARENT. YOU THINK YOUR BEING UPSET ISN'T UPSETTING TO ME TOO?!"
I tried to get a word in about how it has nothing to do with anything, that this was all because of how she talked to me about quitting my job.>"IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOU'RE ALWAYS ATTACKING ME. YOU'RE A MEAN DAUGHTER AND IT'S SO SAD I HAVE TO LOOK FOR JOY IN OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE I CAN'T LOOK FOR IT IN YOU. EVERYONE ELSE HAS GREAT RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS. YET YOU'RE JUST HERE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME, YOU'RE SELFISH WITH YOUR FEELINGS AND YOU ONLY THINK OF YOUR OWN. YOU'RE NOT THANKFUL! SO THANKS FOR RUINING YET ANOTHER THANKSGIVING."
When I asked her what I had done to her, or what previous Thanksgiving I had allegedly ruined, she ignored me. >"I'M NOT ARGUING WITH YOU ANYMORE."
By this time I had been crying throughout the entire encounter over my laptop, trying to type my resignation letter.
What's more disturbing, is that she came over and tried to 'make up' with me by hugging me. She knew she had got to me. So her supply was satisfied as she lavished in my defeated tears.
She made sure this was over before my dad came home from work, the voice of reason who would have broken up her bullshit. She did this to me because I was alone, no one else was around to referee the unnecessary shit she said.
And just to prove that this was a non-issue: When I told my dad what I planned to do he accepted it, and asked to see the job applications I had done. He said my resignation letter was well written.
Almost like…my mom just cooked up some drama to berate me about other things.
If you're curious about how my mom treats my love life, read >>322864
for more antics (shoutout to anon in that thread who properly assessed she was a narc).
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>find out my sister borrowed my favorite dress without permission
>her dumbass washed it and put it in the fucking dryer
>it shrunk and is now unwearable
words cannot describe this pain
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I think I’m finally going to let go of my shitty friends, especially my best friend. She was awful to me in jr high and in high school. My dumbass brought all the old shit she did to me too late so she claimed she didn’t remember and never apologized. At this point I’m just going to cut her out of my life, since we barely hang out anyway. The friendship always felt forced.
Even tho I know she’s terrible, I’m having a hard time letting go. It’s frustrating.
This may sound harsh, but if she was crying non stop as you say, I just can't understand why you waited at all. Cat wailing is an awful heartbreaking sound, I'd have been at the vet asap. There's no way I could bear it for two hours, let alone an entire day.
I'm sorry for your cat and I hope she didn't suffer needlessly.
I’m sorry you had to deal with your mom passing away too, anon.
I’m chainsmoking and drinking camomile tea (told myself I wouldn’t smoke today but here I am)
It’s been a bit more than a month
Does it get better?
NTA but my mum passed away in January.
It got less raw. But whenever anything big happens in my life I still spend all day with this weird nagging feeling like there's somebody I've forgotten to call and tell, and then I remember it's my mum. And then I remember I can't tell her anything anymore.
ah no I actually meant that outside people are doing that, my therapist isn't doing anything wrong.
Sorry, I really need to learn to explain better.
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I'm about to fly back to my home country for six weeks, and whenever I think about being away from my boyfriend for that long I start sobbing uncontrollably. We've been together for two years, and although our countries are like 10k miles apart we've managed to be physically together for almost all of our relationship. When I last flew home in March we missed each other so much I flew back after three weeks, but that isn't an option this time. I don't know how I'm going to cope.
Yikes. Have you ever tried to talk to your (step?)dad about this? Not in a trash-talk way, but a neutral way. Be sure to let him know that you're telling the truth.
Side note, how old is your mom? She might be going through menopause. My mom used to say the same sort of nasty things to me when she was going through menopause, but now we get along great.
At one point during menopause I recall going into the front yard so she couldn't shout at me. This also might work for you. Narcisists care a lot about what others think, and they know they're acting shitty. If you give them an audience (going outside puts neighbors in earshot), they'll behave.
I feel like I'm really going crazy. The whole day my mood changes from okay to nearly crying to wanting to scream and rip all my hair out. And my mother is the main contributer to that.
She absolutely loves christmas and always gifts me and my siblings a lot. But I just don't feel mentally well enough to really care. I vent to her about how stressed I am with Uni stuff and when she complains about how stressed she is - because she still has not enough presents for us… Like I know that it's super sweet, but doesn't she get how nil her problems are? She always says she's stressed, yet she spends hours on her phone, drinking coffee, going shopping… I wish my biggest problem were christmas preparations in the middle of november, but right now I'm more concerned with trying not to fail my degree. I know that I need to study more, I really should, but what she doesn't get is, that if I don't study I sometimes just don't want to do anything. Yesterday I was shopping with her. Today I was also shopping because she constantly tells me that I NEED to find boots and a bag so that she can gift them to me on christmas. But I didn't find anything. Now she's bothering me to search for some on the internet, so that we can order them. I honestly don't care anymore, I just want to be left alone. If i don't find any and have to feel cold in winter - so be it. It stresses me so much.
My mother knows that I don't feel well and thinks she can compensate by giving me materialistic things. When I was a child my parents didn't have as much money and were very strict, so I didn't get a lot, and now she constantly wants me to have new things. I already feel depressed and awful, I'm lucky if I manage to brush my teeth twice a day, sorry but I couldn't care less about clothes. It places an additional burden on me. I wish she would just let me be ugly and poorly dressed, because having nice stuff and still feeling ugly feels worse than not trying at all.
I've vented about this before, but my misophonia in relation to my mother's eating and drinking is killing me as well. Right now she's sitting 2 rooms away from me (with open doors) and I can still hear her disgustingly loud swallowing. She's only drinking coffee, how can she make so much noise while doing that?! As a little proof that I'm not overracting: my little sister leaves the room when my mother starts eating - that's how bad it is. She really sounds like a cow or a horse.
What should I do? I know what I should do, go away, into my room and study. However, for a few years already I've had this big fear of my parents dying. And therefore I always feel "guilty" when I'm upstairs instead of keeping my mother - who's sitting alone in the didning room - company. Even when both of my parents are a home, I still don't want to waste any time away from them. If I were to only study it would be fine I guess, but I am lazy, do other things and as a result feel guilty because I browsed e.g. lolcow instead of talking to my mother. She's only 49, so that fear is completely irrational, but I still feel scared.
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Any anons know a good pillow for side sleeping? In the last year or so I've been really struggling to find a pillow that doesn't cause me immense pain. I feel like I've tried almost everything - normal cheap pillows, memory foam, buckwheat, cervical, all of varying firmnesses. At best, I sleep but wake up with near-crippling neck and shoulder pain; at worse, I can't sleep at all, like tonight. All pillows feel like they either prop my head up too much or let it sag down too much, never like my neck is straight…I'm considering trying a pillow like pic related.
Anon, I'm sorry you feel that way. I relate a lot.
There's lots of miserable young people who have poor health and lots of 50 and 60+ year olds that live fulfilling lives without being crippled. Life really is fleeting, and your younger years won't necessarily be the best years of your life. Your twenties are a very small, stressful part of it. If there are things you want to do, and they're reasonably doable, just push yourself out of your comfort zone and do them.
As for what you've achieved, you've probably done a lot more and gone through a lot of things you don't remember about. What you'll achieve starting now is up to you.
Besides, not having "achieved enough" in life doesn't take away from your value as a person. You don't owe anyone a grand achievement. I know it's just general advice, but most of it is true. I hope you feel better soon.
You're not selfish at all for not moving to an area you don't like just to be with him, specially if that implies long commutes, on top of taking a lot of your time the chances of you getting late to work are higher imo.
Your ideas are amazing, and you seem like a very good daughter, but don't forget to take care of yourself. I know that your dad's well being is probably your top priority right now, but I'm sure he wants to see you happy as well, so try to not be so hard on yourself.
Thanks, that's really nice of you to say.
My dad is an amazing person, probably the kindest person I've ever met, so I just want him to have happiness in his life. The string of terrible luck he's had over the past four years is just insane, and he doesn't deserve it. My dream would be for him to quickly get the dental care he needs to be able to eat real food again, some good therapy to help him talk and read properly again, and then for him to be able to pursue whatever he wants to do, like a hobby or travelling or whatever. But I know I can't push for it all too much because he's still grieving my mum and just genuinely doesn't really want to do much except stay at home and play board games with me on the weekends right now.
I feel like such a failure in everything, I have no close family that is capable of helping or saying something normal and not borderline paranoic, the ones that care at least, and no one I can really open up fully with.
I was so happy a couple of weeks ago thinking that I was improving the way I interact with other people and deal with stress in life after some therapy and starting a coding bootcamp but it seems that just it just takes a little bit more of pressure, stress, and sudden change for me to crack under it all while others keep on business like usual.
I hate this so much, I just want to be able to control my emotions and feel like an adult capable of dealing and functioning in life for a fucking change.
I feel so pathetic, a normal person wouldn't fall in despair just because they got partnered up with some patronizing asshole.
It all sucks so much, I tried to do everything right, I communicated, when it became too much I opened up with people that were actually really nice, and now it feels like I'll just throw away all the chances, and money, I got because I can't stop being terrified of the world just the same as I was when I was 5.
I'd say that I want to die but, it's not it, I just want to feel things normally for a change and to trust that I'm able to build a career and family(lol, like never) for myself.
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I got my bf a giftcard for two massages of whichever kind he likes in that massage place that he really liked. His response to it was literally "wtf is this". Great.
The only reason why i got it for him is because he spent the last week in Russia working 12 hours 7 days and he was complaining how tired he was and how everything hurt. I just wanted to help him, that's all. Now he's not responding so he probably just went to bed, not even a thank you. Such a great way to end today.
What a childish dick, holy shit. I can't think of any excuse for responding so ungratefully to a gift, even if it's not what you want.
Dump him, take the giftcards back and use em yourself.
That is weird, especially since he likes the place.
Is he the type of person who hates gifts? I can relate to that, but it's DEFINITELY not an excuse to act like a pissbaby at your gf though holy shit.
That's fucking weird that he dislikes a gift like that, when he likes that place. Does he get happy endings there and think you found out or something?
No but for real though, maybe he's just cranky and sleep-deprived from working so much? I know my bf can be an outrageous asshole when he's overworked at his job. Hopefully your bf apologizes.
I like Jane Austen too but I'm more of a Brontë girl myself.
Besides, men during the world war one apparently loved reading her works in the trenches because she has this great ability to immerse you in this picturesque british world. And I feel Austen's cynicism is often overlooked because it requires the reader to look between the lines. It's a shame her work is considered girly and not a serious read.
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>hoard anti-depressants for months
>get about 10,00 mg trazodone saved up
>can an hero ?
>google trazodone and health risks for stealth standard od dosage
>read that it is safe and OD’s are RARE
>be 20 and can’t buy alcohol yet to wash it down with for it to maybe work
i want to end it.
i am failing.
i am nothing.
mfw i can’t even come up with an effective suicide strat
Please don’t. This sounds cliche as fuck but you will regret it. Read about the people who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and regretted it the second they started falling. I tried to kill myself a few years ago with pills and it was horrible. I really started seriously regretting it about an hour after I took them when it was too late to puke them up (I tried). The effects didnt start until several hours later in the middle of the night when I started puking uncontrollably. It was deep, forest green coloured, and smelled like the most foul smell I’ve ever smelled. It was like overwhelming wet dog smell, which made me more sick. I couldn’t go more than a few seconds without puking. I had to shamefully tell my parents what I did and cried as my heartbroken dad drove me to the hospital. The doctors said that my liver was almost irreparably damaged. Nothing was ever quite the same after that, but I’m so glad I survived. My life now is totally different. I went from being a shy loser, with an abusive boyfriend, and always screwing up my friendships, to living a life I never thought was even possible just a few years ago. I’m married, I live abroad, I’m still fairly shy and have issues of course, my life isn’t perfect, but I’m so glad I lived to get this far.
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purging gross shit is something i’m used to and hey maybe if an organ give i can just die like that and even if it’s painful. physical
pain really doesn’t bother me at this point.
everybody is so disappointed in me. i go to therapy, take my meds, shower, try to keep it all together, but i just want to fucking die. i feel like i am failing my classes but i don’t know where to even start
i didn’t want to make a whole sphiel but i’m way too afraid to talk to my therapist because of pic related
so you're going to withold information from your therapist for what reason?
I agree with >>328786
if you want to waste away, at least think about it in a all white room with a shitty cot. What if you failed suicide? What then? Will you have to face the burden of a failed body continuously because your schooling at too hard on you?
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okay i never come into /ot/ so 2 am is the time for dump
- my mom has hpd and made me move 2 hours to our hometown cuz she got with yet another crazy man and im 18 so i could have stayed but i was given no choice cuz hes knda abusive
- i legit am a prisoner in my own home. not allowed to leave. i take care of my grandma. legit get told to stay home.
- not allowed to get job cuz of above thing.
- i got to high school (im a senior) with my ex who raped me and beat me. he's learned my schduele twice and changed classes. he does all kinds of passive aggressive sstuff. has pulled cool stunts to make me look bad for ignoring him when he was saying my name and throwing stuff at me in front of people which i just put my earbud in and got called rude and a bitch (he threw 5 metal beads at me and a pencil). school is aware of this but have done a shit job. next step would be them talking to him but i legit fear for my safety lol
- its 3 am and i unblocked him and might messsage him and be like wyd i wanna talk cuz i feel unwanted and nasty and thats close enough cuz he will get me drunk at leasst
- my mom making me move took me out of the treatment center i was in. i have the dox of C-PTSD under my belt. i am a mess. already been to the psych ward for a week and a half and we have been back here 4 months. already relapsed of self harm after being cleaning for over a year.
- told my mom the other night shes a lair and she got mad at me. told me all i do is bitch and never appreciate her and use her.
- she wanted me to come to thanksgiving dinner and i refused cuz i wasnt even dressed or there and was crying on the couch watching the dog show
- i had a breakdown the other day and did clown makeup and laughed at myself for like 15 minutes and cried.
- might do sex work since it's the only thing i can offer that wont get me in trouble for leaving the house and wont be an issue
- my skin picking is so bad i almost ripped off a toe nail and im about to shave my head so i will stop picking at my scalp
- my brother calls me an it and a retard and treats me like an object or a maid
- im trying to graduate so hard cuz my friend is legit coming to get me from here by driving like 5 hours next summer and letting me live w/ her but im barely holding on and im losing it
heres a kirby for your troubles
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I’m having a panic attack and have not been able to calm myself down whatsoever. I’ve been like this all day and all I can do is hopelessly rub my face, whimper, and hope this goes away. I have an awful headache, feel vomit creeping up my throat, and my body is shaking.
I have no one to vent to because all my e-friends take hours to answer and/or don’t give a shit. The only female friend here which I added from here ghosted me and all I have are guy friends who probably wouldn’t understand. I just want to die or stop being conscious. This is mental torture and I can’t take it.
I saw this in the unpopular opinion thread on crystal.cafe. Wtf is wrong with them?! From time to time I decide to go there and see how it is, but while I don't believe that "femcels" are a thing, they really do try their best to emulate the behavior of robots as much as possible. But then don't see why lolcow users think that half their threads are made by men. (Right now they have a thread there they discuss whether straight women also like to go to strip joints and get lap dances. It's like scrots living out their little fantasies.)
Somebody said that people who hate babies are off-putting to her. This is how they react:
>I wish I could walk around scraping a nails on a mini chalkboard, that also smelled of poop and urine, and then judge the people who complained as having low empathy. Because that's what a baby is basically.
>Babies are nothing but annoying pieces of meat. They are animals pets that you can get for free.
>I'm not the one bringing a noise machine with me into restaurants and grocery stores and irritating everyone around me.
>I can't hear you over the sound of 50 wailing children you're constantly surrounded by. Enjoy your Stockholm Syndrome.
>Low IQ, less educated, lower income and more impulse driven people are more likely to produce offspring in western society.
>I'll be married but my children will be dogs and/or cats.
I also don't like babies and don't plan to have kids, but it's like they forget that they are talking about living beings, humans.
But on the other hand they have hundreds of vent threads from people crying how nobody loves them, that everybody is mean to them, etc. They don't have an ounce of sympathy for small humans yet expect everybody to cater to them, the grown up version of that? They have so many threads talking about wanting to be more feminine, wanting to be a cute little housewive and so on - but feel they're superior for thinking babies are stinking meat? They really think a prince in shining armour will find them and that they will be allowed to stay home and do nothing while wearing jfashion and browsing 4chan..
Deciding that you rather won't have children and instead want to focus on your career/friends/whatever is progressive. Being a weeby NEET who probably couldn't even get a baby if she wanted because she doesn't get a bf either and then talks shit about others, is not.
Having a non-gossipy imageboards for girls would have been such a nice idea, but they completely ruined it.
People who OTT hate babies are so fucking obnoxious, I don't want children either but shit. It makes me think they're either edgelords or genuinely lack empathy for other human beings. >>328778
I understand the thought process anon, but your therapist is literally there to help you through situations like this, not to mention that it's actually really hard to kill yourself with pills and you're much more likely to fuck up your liver or kidneys permanently. Don't do it, talk to someone.
Ugh, child haters are obnoxious. I get not liking kids, I really do - I love kids but other people’s often give me the shits. But I can’t imagine whining about kids acting like kids all the time.
Honestly I’ve found that a lot of people that cannot go about their day without complaining about children are bratty adult children themselves
Ugh, child haters are obnoxious. I get not liking kids, I really do - I love kids but other people’s often give me the shits. But I can’t imagine whining about kids acting like kids all the time.
Honestly I’ve found that a lot of people that cannot go about their day without complaining about children are bratty adult children themselves
Here’s my throwaway email and I’ll give ya my discord from there
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The past few days I have felt so fucking awful it's making me extremely worried that there is something wrong with me.
I constantly have the feeling like I need to yawn/take in more oxygen/my lungs are half full, but I really feel like this isn't related to anxiety as others have told me (because it's 24/7 even when I'm calm).
I have no appetite, and my head is so fucked. It feels like I'm experiencing motion sickness constantly and I have so much head nausea. The only thing that helps a bit is lying down, but the more time I spend lying down, the worse it is when I have to get up. I've looked into orthostatic hypotension but there's nothing you can do about it other than drink water and salt which I do. It's just hard to explain and I can barely string together the words to do so.
I'm traveling right now so I don't have access to normal healthcare and I'm just really fucking depressed and worried. I know self diagnosing is bad but I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with me. I feel like I can't live and I want to die.
How are your iron levels? I get the shallow breath when I don't take my supplements, although I don't quite get nauseous, just head spinning and extreme fatigue.
Alternatively you could have a flu of some sort.
What's your diet like? You might be seriously deficient in something. Do you take medication? Are you travelling somewhere where you could have caught some weird bug/got bitten by something?
Like another anon mentioned, it might also be a fucked up back/neck or a pinched nerve, I've had weird symptoms from that before.
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I won't necro the self sabotage thread to post this, but I have a terrible habbit of leaving perishable items out for hours at a time before I finish them. I'm drinking some egg nog I've had sitting on my end table for the past 8 hours right now. I wish it didn't take me so long to eat/finish things, I'm going to give myself salmonella one of these days.
So.. this is a very bizarre issue of mine.. but no matter BMI I am.. like from 22 to as high as 29 (blergh), I always have a 20 pound weight gain if I eat certain kinds of food like breads, macaroni, ect, that happens in literally a period of 2 weeks. As soon as I change my diet from that, even a little, and avoid those foods, I start losing weight as much as 3-4 pounds a day and always set on a "real" (?) weight. This happens no matter how much I exercise, how intense it is, actually it gets worse when I don't eat with a 12 hour window and stop exercising (which unfortunately, I had to do since May up until now because I had some weird problems until I corrected it with iron tablets).
So does anyone else gain and lose up to 20 pounds in 2 week period or is it just me? What issue is this?
lmao same anon, every person i've ever lived with has shamed me so much for this, i always leave stuff uneaten, sometimes for a few days and then i'll just gulp it down if it doesn't smell bad
i understand that this is disgusting but i just dont care enough to not do it
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idk it just takes me several hours to eat/drink things. appetite has been truant since like summer 2017. might be dying?
still haven't finished my eggnog…
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I really miss having those fun, light-hearted messages and exchanges with someone. They gave me something to look forward to.