File: 1587294025704.jpg (89.7 KB, 690x747, meet-leo-the-angry-cat-who-loo…)
No. 543190
Vent your heart out, ladies!
Previous one:
>>>/ot/535754 No. 543213
File: 1587302155920.jpg (50.22 KB, 316x565, ff07470d-4a6e-4f07-b99b-a0955e…)
The fact that my ex thought he could cheer me up with a dickpic, while in a serious relationship for almost a year now, is telling.
He knows I've been through some shit the last few years and some more serious stuff in the last few months. The he decided to kick me out of his life like 2 months ago, and came back today with a dickpick and "I decided to forget all the bad things" kind of speech. NO! Fuck you! You don't get to just "forget" you hurt me and pretend like nothing happened AND get upset when I tell you it's not fine and not how it works. I was VERY clear on how his actions made me feel and this fucker thinks he can just… idk, decide he didn't hurt me? I know he doesn't care about me and all that crap but the AUDACITY.
There were a hundred ways to mend this relationship and yet he picked the worst one.
No. 543224
>>543213Sorry Anon but I kek’d. How can he be that out of touch?
I’m glad he’s out of your life now.
No. 543233
>>543221>>543230Anon said it best here, stop the 'woe-is-me' whining. Girl men will make fun of you no matter WHAT, so embrace it all. Fuck yeah you're into astrology, what, you're going to let some limp dick make you feel bad about something you enjoy? And fuck yeah you love your dog, and fuck yeah you had casual sex with a guy you didn't know, who cares, it's your body! Eat chocolate, wear make up, don't give any of your time to a guy who belittles you for it, guys like that are beneath you.
No. 543234
>>543213What a creep, hope you blocked him for good.
When my exes used to come crawling back I would actually explain to them why it was wrong and how much it hurt me. But you know what? They know damn right from wrong and they know what they're doing. So now I just block straight away or ignore, it must make their egos seethe for exposing themselves and getting no pussy crumbs in return for it lmao.
Feels good throwing their game back in their face.
Also make sure you screencap the convo where he sent the nudes and send it to his girl then block her too.
No. 543260
Mom's family is seething at me because true to my word I'm not talking to her, despite COVID. Oh well, maybe that's what she gets for being a nasty unstable bitch to me for years? For saying and doing unforgivable and awful things that have traumatized me and won't go away just cause she wants the status quo back? For saying anyone else would be a better alternative than her relationship with me? For thinking her guilt tripping would be enough to shame me into tolerating her repeat offenses? She got what she wished for and now she's having buyer's remorse and playing like she's the victim. She went as far as blaming men in her life as the reason why she's behaved as she did to me. I think anger, and how that person decides to take it out on others, reveals true character and she's frightened that I've seen her plenty. She tries to downplay her awfulness as standard mother-daughter "butting heads" and whinging to anyone who listens as if I'm acting out of childishness. In reality it's self-preservation, mentally I'm much better off. I refuse to have a """"parent"""" in my life like her. These people act like I can't properly discern abuse even though my biological father was abusive and why he lost his custody of me at 13. It's not a typical mother daughter quarrel, she's crazy, I'm not about to put up with whatever putridity she feels like throwing at me because she thinks she's all I've got. She doesn't know me, and doesn't realize that due to the fucked up circumstances she sent me through as a child I am quite adept at having a small circle and being independent otherwise. So the joke's on her.
Although I will give her accolade for her treachery and acting. Because people were so drawn by her outward appearance of buying me stuff, they're absolutely flummoxed by the assertion that she could be such a performative insufferable cunt behind closed doors. Cause what abusive parent would ever leverage money and gifts to be abusive amirite? Oh but she acted so sweet to me in public at family dinners at restaurants tho! Yeah guys, and that all felt unnatural because she was never motherly at home unless she was trying to manipulate me after a fight or right before one.
I'm so jealous of people who have normal parental figures and not messes. They tend to be the people who can't fathom a situation like this because their family relationships are so healthy, they can't conceptualize abuse or why adult children wouldn't want to contact their parents.
No. 543297
File: 1587317542760.png (361.79 KB, 1177x679, rip.png)
>>543294No anon she dead, someone else mentioned this the other day and I looked it up myself to verify. The rip is a double entendre in this case, sadly.
No. 543298
>>543294i am the original anon and i am using RIP to say she is fucking gone
>>543268honestly have no idea
even tried looking on the kiwifarms site but no one knows
No. 543352
>>542711 (came from old thread)
From the bottom of my heart, anon, I must thank you for this, for making me believe something can change. Thank you.
No. 543374
>>543363you're just reinforcing their
victim mentality, good job!
No. 543451
File: 1587342564898.jpeg (145.46 KB, 1400x1050, Screen_Shot_2016-08-01_at_12.3…)
If one more person tells my almost 24 year old ass that I look 18……………
No. 543490
>>543479tinfoil fags talking about this on every thread….except for the containment thread.
Here is the tinfoil thread you can speculate about tom hanks senpai being a pedo as much as you like
>>>/ot/542988 No. 543531
File: 1587358293019.png (55.18 KB, 300x270, 68B9B42B-3BEA-4AA3-AC0D-938EE8…)
I think my 20’s are over. I don’t really think I get to be a young adult anymore, or have a future when I can build a career. I don’t really feel like I have a future no matter how hard I may work or improve myself. I have literally graduated from college into possibly the worst economic depression ever. I’m not STEM so it’s not like I’d be in a growing industry. I probably won’t even have retail to fall back on. Fuck I hate this.
No. 543642
>>543584Some people just have a higher resting heart rate for reasons we don't fully understand but I would speak to your Dr about it in case you have some sort of underlying heart condition, especially considering you are doing so much cardio and putting your heart under stress (not that cardio is bad it's just it can
trigger cardiac events in people with heart problems).
No. 543649
>>543448Anon, I just want to say that that was most likely on purpose. You're not too sensitive.
Not a single one looked like you? Like…You already know.
>>543534>He listed all the reasons why he likes me more and they were all personality-centred, which I guess is good? He said I had a better nose and facial features than her and that even though he prefers longer hair on girls, he knows mine will growThis shit is so backhanded.
I wish girls would stop taking fucked up comments from men as "accidents" and "lack of tact". I might be wrong on this, but chances are if you did or said things like this, he wouldn't be happy. He probably knows, he just doesn't care. Worst case scenario, it's some shady attempt to keep you "on your toes" (insecure and vying for his approval, mentally in competition with his ex and every other girl he might find attractive).
No. 543671
File: 1587396765208.jpg (51.74 KB, 600x338, 1446955223985.jpg)
>tfw a project for work is due tomorrow and I've got 1200 more lines of work to do and have only done 300 since 8 and it's already 11
No. 543687
>>543610I often get this at work, I think its the stress, low confidence, botteling up my feelings and panicking about stupid things. I realise they're stupid afterwards.
Thank you for asking, thats really nice of your.
>>543615awh thanks anon, I'm really gonna try not to do this anymore. It's not healthy.
No. 543706
>>543696LVM=Low value male
>>543688My condolences anon. Similar thing happened to me when I found out the dirt on my stepfather who I idealized and put on a pedestal for years. Turns out he was just masterful at triangulation and hiding the heat on his ass. Cheater, history of drug addiction, failed marriage, hypocrite, power tripper, gaslighter, etc. you name it. I was actually stanning men and questioning hardline radfem ideologies up to that point because I saw my stepdad on a pedestal and said to myself #notallmen. Boy, was I wrong-o.
I guess the difference between me and you is that my mom is a bitch and I don't feel sorry for her, but still, it doesn't make it a warrant for my stepdad to be how he is. I wish we both had better male examples and I hope we can both heal in time.
No. 543796
>>543657I do HIIT and I do monitor my heart rate during it. So during high intensity phases I aim for 160 (though it does spike up to 180 sometimes depending on what I'm doing), and then low intensity phases I try to aim for at least 100, but since it takes such a long time for my heart rate to slow, it usually only goes down to 130-140 before it's time to pick up the intensity again.
>>543642Yeah that's what I'm worried about, I was told as a kid I had a heart murmur but that it wasn't a bit deal, now I'm concerned it is one. Heart disease and diabetes runs in my family which is the whole reason I wanted to get fit in the first place.
No. 543823
>>543799It was surprisingly nice <3
Thank you so much, I hope you had a nice day too.
No. 543826
>>543821~Starvation mode~ is the dumbest fucking shit. Have people who go on about it ever actually seen what a starved person looks like? Not fat, that's for sure.
No offense to your mum but is she overweight at all? People tend to try and sabotage other's weight loss if it makes them feel bad about themselves.
No. 543833
File: 1587426932921.png (1.48 MB, 636x962, mummiye.png)
I miss my cat. It's been two days since we got the body back. She was such a perfect companion.
I hate how she died, someone has been leaving poison baits for the wildlife that hang around the supermarket bins down the road and we guess she wandered there and ate one since she showed no external injury. The man who found her put her in a pillowcase a day or two before I was even aware she had died, and seeing the patches of dried blood on it right where her little mouth and nose were underneath was a weird feeling. At least I got to bury her in my backyard.
I'm heartbroken but so much more glad I ever got to know her and took pictures while I could. And I've still got the rest of her family to look after at least. It's dumb as fuck but I like to imagine we had our group mourning session, because a bit later after burial they all came out and sat near me being especially loving and gentle for a long while. I really wish I could house all of them securely and comfortably but the logistics are too much with so many cats and so little money, and every damn cat rescue has a waiting list of months (not that I can see myself willingly giving any one of them up now). At least they're all long de-sexed at this point.
No. 543872
>>543706That is truly awful anon. Can only imagine feeling betrayed in that situation. I just don't know what goes on in men's minds to think it's ok to hurt their family. To treat them terribly and then act like the
victim. I don't hate all men or anything, but I hate the behaviors I see in my dad and I see them in so many men I encounter from day to day. It makes me sick.
No. 543897
>>543843I've gotten messages like that before. The first time, I listened, but now I just ignore it. Who has that kind of energy? Like hell I'm going to do a "background check" on random blogs, especially when the unpopular/"
problematic" ones are posting most of the good content, and the self-proclaimed "unproblematic" ones literally have to take posts from them and tag them as "#stolen from (bad person's URL)". I've never understood that, either. If you're going to "steal" a post, what's the point of tagging the person you stole from? You're just going to make people want to follow them to get the original.
I sometimes notice I've been blocked by blogs I don't even remember interacting with or seeing in my life. I probably reblogged from someone they had beef with, then reblogged from them without knowing/caring about their drama, and they got mad.
Some people take Tumblr far too personally, really. We're all there to share images, text posts and music we like, lmao.
No. 543906
>>543843God I had a friend whos close to 30 still stuck in that mindset. when I showed interest in a cute game I was told that I shouldnt because of the artist or game dev. Turns out one of them had a suggestive rape image in the game and after getting flamed took down all social media.
Expecting people to dig that deep on content theyve just found is beyond me. I've even seen twitter and fb users fight about someone liking a musician or actor who has differing politics they weren't even aware of.
No. 543923
>>543467I have seen those posts too, someone from 4chan started claiming they were close friends with my family.
Eceleb culture is rampant on the internet now so the only option is to stay offline
No. 543975
>>543900I had 2 on my neck and they were small but fucking ugly. Got in the way of everything, people stared, like no matter what anyone says, protruding brown moles are not pretty or "what makes you you".
I cut them off with nail clippers. They healed very fast, for some reason mole skin heals faster. Zero regrets, I finally look normal.
No. 543978
File: 1587459602273.png (93.69 KB, 901x590, lol.png)
do people never get tired of doing this? I'm not even turkish but damn this is so fucking annoying I am just trying to watch a cat video wtf
No. 543982
File: 1587460940626.jpg (20.94 KB, 250x250, francis-bacon.jpg)
I feel like a fucking failure.
I promised myself I would try and make the most out of the quarantine and learn new skills so I could switch careers and also pick up old hobbies but I've been literally doing nothing but eating a lot and watching stupid videos.
The virus will peak soon and things are returning to normal and I'm going to come out of this as just useless as I was before
No. 543986
File: 1587462226587.jpeg (136.93 KB, 500x584, 45057F8E-8FE0-457D-BC8E-E628C4…)
The semester will be over in less than a month. 24 days. My motivation keeps dwindling and I want to give up. Every facet of my life feels like shit right now. I truly don’t know how people studying for degrees don’t drop out from stress. My motivation took a huge dive after less than 4 months of taking a few (easy) college classes. Even if the classes are on a topic I find interesting, I will have no motivation to study.
No. 543988
>>543982Chill. It's not a race. You have intrinsic worth. The only way to fail at life is by dying.
Who told you time was not well spent indulging in food and videos? They were lying.
If you want to feel "useful" just become an "essential worker" in a supermarket. See how quickly those lies fall apart?
Resist any urge that tells you you must do something because you're "not good enough" without it. They come from bad intentions. Follow only those urges that come from genuine interest, enjoyment and love.
No. 544073
>>543926I'm
>>543467 and I can't speak for other people this happens to but I definitely don't have egirl tendencies, and most of my followers are women who speak my native language. The most recent instance was a screenshot of an outfit photo I had posted to my story and then deleted quickly, it was posted on /pol/ for some reason. I mean, there's also the possibility that the person doing it just saves a bunch of random girls' pics and posts them as filler for their replies?
I've also had the misfortune of getting teens on kik using my pictures to catfish and then randos adding my social media and being confused that I'm a different person, and once found a profile on a sugar daddy site that was using my picture and a name close to mine. I want to reiterate that I am objectively not very pretty or fashionable (plus I'm old by chan standards, 25) and I stopped posting pictures of myself frequently when this all started years ago.
Does anyone else deal with so much of this kind of shit too? I would understand if I was a hot girl with an onlyfans or an interesting wardrobe, but I'm not even close. I just want to be able to have a quiet presence online and make friends without having to worry about this. I know the solution is to stop caring but it really freaks me out and pisses me off
No. 544092
>>544083Nooo stop you've got it all wrong, that's the reason this bothers me so much, because I know what image it gives off. I don't browse any board other than here, as I said in my op my brother and friends who browse are the ones who find it and show me. The pol one was totally on accident, my friend said he was reverse image searching an actually popular girl he saw posted on another board and came upon that post.
As for the sugar daddy thing, no offense to anyone who partakes in that but I want nothing to do with it. I found that one because when some teen was catfishing as me (2015-16) my irl friends went on a crusade to track down the catfish and found a bunch of unrelated accounts. I really don't want to attract this stuff and It's not like an "uwu im so antisocial but look at meee!!!" type of thing either, I'm too old for that. I'm pissed off that I have bad luck and can't enjoy a normie social media experience and I just wanted to vent for a while, but I'll stop blogging now.
No. 544121
File: 1587485880284.jpg (392.89 KB, 1080x2003, Screenshot2.jpg)
I feel there is something really wrong and creepy with this.
No. 544126
>>544121oh i remember this weirdo this was the man who believed in that weird humanoid reptile kind of stuff and believed that all celebs are satanists and would call female celebs really derogatory names.
I guess after the Illuminati stuff lost popularity he went on to make right-wing stuff.
No. 544127
>>544122Parents have always done this to some extent, but it's more visible with the internet. They don't have to be forceful, they just raise them in a bubble where everyone who aligns with their values is right and everyone else is wrong/stupid.
Children don't care about "liberal brainwashing," but they agree with their mom and dad because they want their approval and praise. It's gross when parents take advantage of that for fucking youtube videos.
No. 544129
>>544121Isn't 12 too young for a YouTube channel? I honestly don't think it should even be legal for children to be on YouTube period.
Also, I remember a hilarious situation happening years ago where some 13yo became a big hit for right wingers then ended up switching to the left by the time he finished high school.
No. 544141
File: 1587488083359.jpg (116.01 KB, 800x540, tumblr_ns5rxilVrc1qds7nko1_128…)
Tomorrow is my birthday ( the 22nd ) and it seems like my mom never remembers. Even though i fucking hate my birthday because i always had the worst of luck during my birthday week, its like the universe way of telling me my birth was a mistake lol. I just kinda wish she remembers though, when i dont remember her birthday she kept reminding me of hers but when its mine she doesnt even care or notice anything but yesterday she did remember to give my cousins gifts out of the blue though. Its kinda sad when people you care the most doesnt even remember a single detail about you…
No. 544171
>>544127i think the issue
is the social media aspect. parents of course raise their kids like they want, but before only a select few were able to use them to platform for their causes and get media attention. now any idiot on youtube who can work reddit can use their kid for media attention and praise. i think the internet in general is dangerous because it connects all kinds of people with eachother and turns collective sparks that would have burnt out on their own into flames of stupidity.
No. 544199
>>544185Ntayrt but hell, men target young girls left and right no matter what. Reminds me of all the disgusting shit they said about Greta Thunberg, it was like they wanted to hatefuck that child.
Tbh I find most parents self centered and irresponsible to be exposing their girls to the public knowing how dangerous and gross these pedos are.
No. 544205
>>544192Yes thats who i meant but i forgot her name. Also due to the types of video's she would make she basically had the most disgusting bottom of the barrel men (white supermacist,stormfront,nazi,pro-pedophile) watching her videos either grooming her or just openly talking about wanting to molest her.
>>544199Yeah thats sad but thats not comparable to what im talking about.
Ltcorbis had her own audience be creeps towards her, meanwhile with greta its the opposite.
No. 544206
File: 1587496916049.jpg (149.02 KB, 750x747, 1553285852782.jpg)
I'm starting to see the effects that quarantine and lockdown is having on my friend group; I live in a Baltic country where the infection rate has ben relatively low, but a lot of people have resorted to alcoholism, and among my friends, speed and ecstasy on a regular basis (doesn't help that a lot of people around us are drug dealers). It's really depressing and self defeating, just makes me feel hollow and cynical about my social life. Really puts things into perspective for me, now I really am ready to become a hermit and accept my new shut-in life
No. 544212
>>544206I've always been a bit depressed but now I'm downright suicidal. I can cope like this for a few weeks, but not being able to travel, go to the gym, interact as normal and see the world behaving as normal, for months, will kill me and a lot of people.
Say what you want but lockdowns are a mistake. And we're gonna see that soon.
No. 544231
>>544229because sad lonely boys are
victims of bad luck and just need a girl in their life to transform everything forever, meanwhile sad lonely women obviously did something to deserve it and deserve to be laughed at and ridiculed. just your average double standard bullshit
No. 544249
File: 1587504810368.jpg (24.55 KB, 494x494, 1581134881730.jpg)
Saw a twitter thread ppl talking about their covid symptoms and i get more weieded out by sudden, about 2 week long heart rate issues, i couldn't eat, could barely go to the bathroom, had shortness of breath and nausea. I keep telling myself that was JUST STRESS but it was so fucking odd, i feel fine now, only crackling in my ear due to allergies. I sound like a fucking hypocondriac.
No. 544302
>>544257Everything I enjoyed has shut down, I can't get close to any human being and this will go on for at least a few more months. Anything I had to manage my depression is fucked. So, sorry if I seem soft. I'm not gonna bend over and get fucked by the govt trying to protect 90 year old that would have died anyway.
>>544259Stockholm seems neat. Other countries might open in May or June too. Crete is talking about opening for summer, and is cheap and wam.
No. 544310
>>544302>I'm not gonna bend over and get fucked by the govt trying to protect 90 year old that would have died anywayWow. Their lives are worth more than of a depressive cunt like yourself.
>>544305You people are pathetic, omg.
No. 544311
>>544292>>544293>>544305>Why are you dismissing boredom as a cause of stress?Because it's incredibly petty, and curable if someone has adapted healthy coping mechanisms to alleviate the boredom solo.
>But isolation is bad.I agree that it's not ideal, but it's very untrue that humans won't survive without socialization. It's unhealthy that people can't handle being alone (just in the physical sense) for a few months, scary even.
No. 544313
I have so little sympathy for people who still get to go on walks, enjoy the sun and all that. Yea, the surrounding stress and pending doom aside, I have no sympathy for the people acting like a few months doing less stuff is gonna kill them, I am not talking about the money stress, just staying inside. I was in an accident that forced me to stay inside way before this, I feel like an absolute dick for thinking "it's not that bad, YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE, BITCH YOU JUST WENT ON A WALK W FRIENDS?" while no one ever thought that yea, it wasn't fun for me to be alone stuck inside in pain for over a year. Now people tell me shit like "ugh now i get you" the fuck you do? I was in pain, alone and lost basically everything and even now i can't handle my own shit, like go to the shops and shit. I get that people are scared but the staying in part whilst still being able to go out, chill and have a stroll, that should not be the thing you whine about. Martyr hours, sorry.
No. 544319
>>544314>not being okay with being aloneThis is, by definition, not okay with being alone though. You're talking about months like it's years, mate it just isn't.
>What about mentally unwell people?Assuming someone doesn't have a mental health condition, I don't see the excuse. I'd still say mentally unwell people will generally be okay as long as they have access to their medications and can telecommunicate with their respective therapists. Not to downplay their struggles of course if that's how they feel at the end of the day.
Besides, are we gonna use the same logic as this anon
>>544302? "I'm not gonna get fucked to save some 90 year old," well, why should anyone else risk their lives and catch a virus so Suzie Q can go socialize for their mental betterment which isn't going to kill her?
No one is saying this situation doesn't suck, but you shouldn't feel it's so unbearable that you wanna die. Nah.
No. 544328
>>544326You're right no one cares about us, they treat mental illness like it doesn't exist, like we just fake it for fun.
But I was in a great place before this. After a decade of anxiety and depression I was finally okay. Now I want to kill myself again.
No. 544331
>>544330>Do you live alone?Worse, with my
abusive family.
>Have you been getting some kind of online therapy?What kind? No. I used to get CBT and it didn't do anything. The only thing that helped was socialising more but we all know that's shot to hell now. Besides if my family heard me getting therapy online they'd laugh me to suicide
No. 544347
>>544339>We can't never win, and it upsets me.I want to save us from the shit we deal with. It's so hard. I can't quit crying
omg fuck not another one of you nutjobs.
>>544346what is this in reference to, anon?
No. 544350
File: 1587517429910.gif (2.18 MB, 480x270, 6CFAEF6C-69C4-4515-91B5-8B5C78…)
>>544347People will have those views and be on lolcow, stay mad about it.
No. 544369
>>544367Where you live, maybe, but some women aren't as privileged as you.
>>544339Why did it suddenly hit you?
No. 544392
>>544348>>544350meant to include you in
>>544391. i'm not upset about her views idiot, but the "i can't stop crying" shit is pretty manic.
No. 544437
File: 1587539651526.jpg (186.39 KB, 1080x1073, Screenshot_20200422-162044__01…)
Reading this gave me actual fucking cancer. I don't have much to say aside from this better be bait… but this creature is playing the part so well… even down to the display picture. I don't know whether to laugh or cry as this point.
No. 544438
File: 1587539703191.jpg (174.65 KB, 1080x1100, Screenshot_20200422-162223__01…)
No. 544489
File: 1587554364821.png (177.67 KB, 276x286, bob.PNG)
>>544437>>544438>the profile pic>weebs knowing anything about social shitkek if it isn't bait then I genuinely feel sorry for the poor thing
No. 544540
File: 1587564890855.jpg (879.89 KB, 1813x2111, itme.jpg)
>cook delicious food
>leftovers
>I never want to eat the leftovers and instead wanna cook new food
No. 544568
File: 1587572562142.jpg (64.29 KB, 540x442, EMgXenqWkAIySAV.jpg)
i'm kind of sad and lowkey pissed about how the mods combined the kpop threads just to let them turn into containment threads. i mean i understand why on their end, but it just sucks that now there's no real place to criticize kpop without stans chiming in as well…
No. 544574
>>544568Completely agree, it became such a cringefest.
It came to a point where anons are discussing if idols fuck white girls and it's so fucking obvious.
No. 544714
>>544713realize that it's totally normal to feel sad about a break up even if it was a
toxic relationship. you still had a bond or sorts and it's not easy to stop caring no matter how bad the situation is.
maybe make a list of all his bad features and behaviors. that's how I got my brain to realize how retarded my ex is and how my energy is not worth wasting on him.
No. 544727
>>544725lmao. why is she learning arabic?
I'm learning Greek and Russian and everyone around me is just like…why are you doing this?
No. 544861
File: 1587603105745.jpg (24.18 KB, 480x528, 1567902849301.jpg)
Have to spend a few nights sleeping in the same room my dad died and rotted in a few months ago, i fkn can't sleep i bet i'll see a fucking ghost
No. 544864
File: 1587604146255.jpg (19.69 KB, 275x264, 1583364579046.jpg)
>>544861eeeughhughg jesus christ anon I'm sorry, wishing you a peaceful nights rest.
No. 544896
File: 1587618975523.jpg (53.76 KB, 701x374, Aggretsuko.jpg)
i have to choose between two job opportunities and it's been keeping me awake eughhh
job 1 is a cushy office position for a huge consulting firm. guaranteed promotions, at least 80k starting salary, fantastic benefits, unlimited sick days, etc. it's like the glorious OL job i've dreamed of since forever.
job 2 is… strange. basically if i accept a full-ride scholarship from the gov't (with a steep 20k extra stipend semesterly) i have to work for them for two years. i don't know what pay i'll have, i don't even know what job i'll be doing, but the stipend is more than enough for me to move out and get going with my life. plus, the benefits are probably good because government. in addition i'd have a lot of clearances and extra certifications that i'd never be able to get otherwise.
i worked hard for these opportunities but now i'm stuck between them and it's too much to compute. i mean i'm choosing how to sell my soul for wages but i don't want to choose wrong…
No. 544916
File: 1587622577688.jpeg (95.5 KB, 1241x694, C24FFB76-692D-48AA-9C9A-02D0BA…)
>don’t believe in hearts and flowers type relationshippy stuff because men don’t know how monogamy works and even if they don’t act on it they still gonna be cheating on you in they’re damn minds
>terrifyingly high sex drive
>can’t fuck anybody because I feel uncomfy when someone I’m fucking is fucking somebody else and who the fuck wants to be exclusive friends with benefits?
I’m probably never gonna have sex again in my life am I?
No. 544935
>>544896As someone who has worked governmental jobs and private sector jobs (currently for a big consulting firm too), I feel like I could offer some insight.
Governmental jobs are pretty secure which is definitely the most tempting thing about them, but they're often stuck in a bureaucratic hell and the office dynamics are based on politics, so you need to be prepared for a lot of petty fighting and drama. Everything moves very slowly and things tend to be stuck in regulations. The salary development is very linear and doesn't give you a lot of room to negotiate. But on the other hand it's also a pretty solid position that will last for the rest of your life, but your career advancement will be stuck in the mud at some point and you might stagnate.
As for the private company, your position might be more unpredictable but your pay is based on what you want yourself. The tempo might be a bit faster but so will be your career advancement and salary development. You'll learn new things and skills constantly because the job is based on markets instead of solid governmental business, and you have a lot more freedom to act upon because you don't have to fill out a billion forms to get your job done. There's a bigger chance that the company hierarchy is based on merits instead of how many boots you lick, and the people around you change often enough to help you keep the work environment fresh. Due to the company funds being private-owned they can offer you greater benefits with no worries about how you're spending the public money like with governmental jobs which is a huge bonus and totally worth it. You also get to grow your network on a way bigger scale.
But however, you never know when an economic crisis hits and you might be laid off, and the office might still be filled with politics depending on the company and you might need to kiss ass to climb the ranks, but all in all personally I've felt that working the private sector is much more stimulating and rewarding than being a public worker. It all boils down to what you value more, stability or advancement. Like if you had a family and you want your job to be just a stable income of average money and nothing else, governmental jobs might be a better bet. But if you want to become a professional and secure your back in case the time comes to jump ship, private sector is a better place to start.
No. 544944
File: 1587632790194.jpeg (12.08 KB, 424x426, 66CA8B0C-89B9-456A-B80D-D67978…)
Psychology is apparently one of the most common majors and it makes me sad. I find psychology pretty interesting but don’t feel a degree in it is worth pursuing since the field is so oversaturated. I’d just have tons of competition against other psych majors to try to find a job afterwards. I’m depressed and it’s one of the only things that even slightly interests me because I don’t really have any real passions or interests.
No. 544979
>>544965As a potential mother myself, I wouldn't care if I had a miscarriage. It was only a potential baby like all potential
other situations.
Its okay to feel bad about it
No. 545033
>>545032lmao what bad advice. better advice would be you'll always wonder what would have happened if you'd taken the other route, but you won't necessarily feel like you've made a wrong decision.
what is this decision? maybe we can help.
No. 545041
>>545033(lol couldn’t decide if I wanted to just go ahead and say it, but fuck it if anyone somehow connects the dots between this post and who I actually am.. idc)
I got accepted into fire academy, which I didn’t think I would be, and my career goal is to be a firefighter. But my physical fitness isn’t currently up to par with academy standards and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get there before it starts. I
was going to just take a paramedic course first, because I’m confident in my academic ability and it’s something I want to do to not only get paid more, but to be the best I can be since strength will never be where I excel in firefighting lol. It’s a matter of… do I make the jump and go to academy, even if failure is a possibility? or do I postpone it for 2 years to finish paramedic?
If I make it through academy, I can start my career as early as next year and maybe even have my paramedic course payed for by the department. But if I fail out, I’ll still have to pay for it and I’ll have pushed my timeline back a few weeks/months.
No. 545074
>>544992Do most people actually do this? I mean, fantasizing about themselves with someone else when they're in a relationship. When I was in a relationship I always thought about my partner. Kinda makes me not want to be in another one if it's that common. At least I think the whole point of monogamy is only holding those feelings for your partner.
I'm not talking about just finding someone attractive since I understand that can happen, but going out of your way to fantasize about them.
No. 545088
>>544988Agreed. I think a lot of anons armchair diagnose randos in their lives to make themselves feel better about how many of them routinely just
happen to have experiences with multiple people with ______ disorder of the day.
The way I see it is: if they have a pattern of attracting those people, the problem is a hesitancy to set boundaries and cutting these obviously
toxic people off at the first red flag. They yell at other people to do even five minutes of introspective work or go to therapy while neglecting to do so themselves. Ironically, they're terrified to work on why they allow these awful people to take up space rent-free in their heads. They don't want to heal from the abuse – they want to retraumatize themselves by bringing it up any chance they get and stew in the anger.
No. 545240
File: 1587692194601.jpg (297.27 KB, 1271x1920, F88JAlsfIK.jpg)
>>545235sry you had to see this
No. 545244
File: 1587694085024.gif (886.54 KB, 245x196, giphy (8).gif)
>>545235also very sorry, think of yawning kitty
No. 545246
>>545244Thank you and I love you too!
I just cried a little because it reminded me of those creepy men messaging me on Kik when I was around 12 and one of them also sent me CP back then and I tried so hard to forget all of that but
:,) life is hard
No. 545254
>>545235I'm so sorry, I remember how scared I got when I first saw it.
Dont worry, most of them escape their abuser and live happy and normal lives separated from them
No. 545276
File: 1587701901867.jpg (146.73 KB, 1280x1280, SDSETajd.jpg)
Not going to be super specific in case of raceb8, but i'm kinda sad that my ethnicity is the most hated one out there. At this point, i wish we at least had _aboos kek. I'm proud of my culture (except for the sexism, homophobia, etc.) but, damn, feels bad to see all these people think I have the same values as my shitty country and assume i'm a bad person. I mean, i'm pretty much white passing so i have that going for me but my last name is fucking me over
No. 545288
File: 1587707861112.gif (958.71 KB, 220x220, pianow.gif)
>>545285>tfw you can't complain about racism in the VENT THREAD bc that makes you a self hating ~poc~ whos jealous of white peopleand 'who fucking cares' lmao. racism doesn't exist anymore in current year, thank you for this revelation
No. 545320
File: 1587716328310.png (83.71 KB, 910x996, computer-programming-anime-pro…)
>be me, computer science major
>have semester long software engineering project
>in a group with two guys
>one is a capable worker and at least kind of knows his stuff
>the other is dumb but could hopefully get through it with some spoonfeeding
>neither of them do their fucking work
>the work they do turn in is shit
>give them feedback and get ignored
>end up needing to complete all frontend, backend, implementation, and documentation without them
i even gave them easy peasy baby tasks but they still couldn't be assed. i was civil the whole time but little do they know i gave them both 0's on their peer evals and i've been exchanging emails with the professor.
i hope they fail this senior level course and have to postpone their graduation a year, bastards.
No. 545324
>>545322you want to get married to somebody who's abusing you, then turning around and calling you
abusive? he's your soulmate?
anon even if you don't listen now i can absolutely
promise you that, yes, there are other people like him minus the abusing you part. sure, we're stuck in quarantine right now so rocking the boat isn't a great idea–but this is clearly taking a toll on your health and if you marry that you're stuck with it. seriously. value yourself more than that.
No. 545333
>>545331>>545324when its bad oh god its bad when its good its so so fucking good. pure ecstasy
i did a not so good prank on him this morning and im afraid of when he wakes up so currently drugging myself to sleep and avoid the consequences
No. 545334
>>545330I did a presentation recently in a group and I couldn't believe how weak the male team member's slides where. No theory, no references, nothing, just summarising what me and the other girl did.
I know this isn't as important, but the actual slides weren't shit either, just plain Arial, black on white.
No. 545335
>>545333sister that's the cycle of an
abusive relationship, unbelievably bad then heavenly good. that's how they keep you on the hook. this isn't a special case. he's not different from other abusers. if you don't figure it out now you'll figure it out in time.
No. 545337
>>545276What country are you in, anon? I changed my surname because I did dumb e girl shit when I was 13 and don't want my students unearthing that shit and ruining my career. It was pretty easy.
If you're in UK let me know and I'll walk you through how I managed to avoid paying for a lawyer, which btw is a total scam.
No. 545339
>>545338girl i've been in an intensely
abusive relationship too stop lying to yourself it's not even that good when it's good it's just normal. stop being so fucking dumb and bragging about how you're self harming through this absolutely unremarkable man. yiz arent joker and harley quinn. get your shit together and work on yourself because there's a reason you dont wanna try and find a healthy relationship and go for weird abusers instead. grow the hell up you're not 14 anymore
No. 545340
>>545339thank u for this tough love anon
i am trying to be strong enough to leave. hes addictive
No. 545414
File: 1587740399741.jpg (260.81 KB, 561x401, 1585902502148.jpg)
I can't take the amount of speedreading and terrible reading comprehension on /cgl/ anymore.
No. 545426
>>545393Damn I came here to vent about the exact same thing.
My company furloughed almost everyone and now I have to do their work as well. I hate it.
Let's put on some relaxing music and meditate together after work.
No. 545461
>>545419What lines? Like cowtipping? Because that is a rule.
>>545423>female psychology Lmao okay retard because /b/ wasn’t lolcow ground 0, ED didn’t exist, and Kiwifarms? Never heard of them.
No. 545502
Ugh some of the shit my bf wants to talk to me about is just not in my interest, like I would like to discuss the things… but like some depressive one thing after another? Today it was dog skeletons and him just dragging on about it going, "Oh my god, I didn't think they belong to dogs at first, they looked like tiny horses. Isn't that weird? They don't look like dogs. If I saw that IRL I wouldn't think that would be a dog skeleton. Maybe a deer, but not a dog." And I would say, "Yeah, most of the parts of the dog are cartilage like the ears and fur, so you wouldn't see that on a skeleton." And he'd respond, "You're right, but still it's so weird. Like cat skeletons look like cats but not dog skeletons. Even rabbit skeletons look like rabbits. But dog skeletons, man, those are horses with claws…"
No. 545607
File: 1587761353742.png (93.79 KB, 320x228, 1486813313613.png)
Today is the first day of fasting in my country and on the same day Netflix decided to release this show where they have a gay couple. My country is already filled to the brim with religious bigots so they all decided to shit their pants over this and now want to sue Netflix for "releasing stuff like that in the first day of Ramadan".
It's funny because one of the actively homophobic people was caught liking and watching gay porn on his secret account.
No. 545628
File: 1587766301920.jpg (50.38 KB, 960x586, e7bz3la725l41.jpg)
I miss the pinkpilll thread
No. 545634
>>545633Why is your fiance even talking to this chick?
>>545628same
No. 545635
>>545633i get being friends with an ex but the fact that they're
best friends and she's saying degrading things about the two of you is worrying. what does your fiance think about what she said?
No. 545638
>>545635>>545634Okay, bear with me guys. She is his best and arguably only true friend in the whole world. He is autistic and finds it very difficult to connect with others. She is also in another continent and is not a major part of his life because of this - this is the only reason I can put up with it honestly.
However, he is taking advantage of the validation she gives him by lovebombing him. She is nice to my face, but says very disparaging things about me to him, and he doesn't challenge it because he feels their friendship is fragile.
Honestly, I can't wait for him to go to therapy and find new friends in this country so that he finally fucking drops her.
I don't wish her any harm and I don't know her background or what she's been through, or why her emotional maturity is so devastatingly and profoundly hindered. She uses schoolyard tactics, meangirl attacks, and will find anything I post online and use it to defame me, she's utterly relentless.
No. 545639
>>545638** Also I'm nice to her and we chat every few weeks about neutral topics and she seems intelligent/good to talk to, I see why he likes her honestly, she can carry a convo.
I just pretend that I have no knowledge of her batshittery and delusional hope that he'll become available. It's better that way. There is no need to hate her, I'm sure he will phase her out to a degree.
No. 545755
File: 1587788592098.jpg (31.3 KB, 400x400, 687456a8MDzuD5_.jpg)
>>545745"Validation" from 4chan is like "validation" from those dudes standing outside the gas station. But if that's your only option…
No. 545757
File: 1587788921544.jpeg (86.55 KB, 680x680, 412.jpeg)
i love my boyfriend immensely but i think he is a closet furry and im deeply disgusted ughhhh
makes all the times i made dead furry jokes a little funnier tho cant lie
No. 545764
>>545757That's not even that bad, anon. Who cares.
It's not like hes a closet zoophile.
No. 545842
>>545823If you want to start throwing around baseless diagnosis… maybe anon is the bpdfag and her friend finally had enough of her shit. Ghosting and no contact is common strategy for breaking off with narc/borderline after all.
>>545839Kek it was so cringe
No. 545861
Sorry if this should’ve gone into the Covid-19 thread, but since it’s more of a personal struggle than anything else, I figured I’d post it here.
My country has made it mandatory to wear face masks while shopping or using public transport.
I‘m actually in favor of this decision. It should not be mandatory, but especially where I live people are either extremely stubborn and go out of their way to find a loophole, or are buying hardcore into all the conspiracy theories. The only people that would wear them voluntarily are ones that are being considerate and careful already.
However, it’s a huge bummer because now I’m basically incapable of buying my own groceries. And I’m kinda fucked.
I have a screwed up septum and allergies so I’m already struggling to breathe most of the time and I also have really low blood pressure and issues with fainting and stuff. On top of all of this, I’m struggling with severe agoraphobia, so consistently being able to buy my own groceries has been a huge, huge accomplishment.
Well, guess all this work goes down the drain now. As soon as I’m wearing a face mask, I struggle breathing properly, I start feeling faint, I’ll panick, which makes everything 1000x worse. So yeah. Great.
Wouldn’t be as big of a deal if I didn’t live on my own and had literally zero friends or family around.
I’m obviously aware that this is some serious first world problem shit and I am incredibly lucky for how little infections there are so far.
I just don’t know how to cope right now. I’ve been quite suicidal as it is but losing this last bit of independence really doesn’t help. I’m worried.
No. 545868
>>545866anon, it's okay. if one action "ruined" whatever it was, then it was never really going to work out. regardless, it is absolutely pointless to think about throwing your life away over one situation. it seems that way now because you're very upset but i'm sure there have been other good things/moments in your life, however small, and you won't have a chance to find something even better if you end it now. please stop drinking/don't drink when you're like this, you'll just get very messy. you don't deserve to die. your emotions are heightened because this happened recently and you're in isolation. it's okay. instead of alcohol, could you find something in the house that you like to eat like some chocolate or ice cream? could you watch something that cheers you up, maybe something like an old cartoon you used to watch? it's important to look after yourself when you're like this. try to treat yourself like you would your own daughter. it's weird to say but that helps me a lot. if your daughter was very upset over a loss like you are, you wouldn't want her to do any damage to herself! likewise, i don't want you to do any damage to yourself. this despair is temporary, please try not to dig yourself further into this hole - don't send out any goodbye texts or lash out at anyone "for the last time". you simply need to take a step back and look after yourself right now
No. 545872
>>545866You seriously don't have the intelligence and determination to find an alternative solution?
You're just going to stop thinking and give up, yet you can still use a computer and convey this information to us?
Come on.
No. 545875
>>545870Try to wait for a bit and worry if it doesn't hurt less after a couple days. Something very similar happened to me a couple months ago, suddenly my clit stung like hell whenever I touched it or whenever my underwear slightly moved past it.
It just went away on its own after a few days, I think it was just a microscopic cut which can happen quite easily but is usually not a big deal.
No. 545904
>>545812>>545836I didn't know ao3 was specifically known for that kind of stuff. I thought it was just like wattpad but for fan fics exclusively. ill try deleting the comment and removing tags, thanks
>>545839damn bro sorry i /vented/ in the vent thread but maybe just ignore and move on? theres plenty other vents on here if mine doesnt entertain you enough kek
No. 545942
>>545823>>545827I have depression, anxiety and PTSD. But, Ive been doing extremely well for the past year or so because of the support of my friends (like talking to people if I have an issue with them or asking jf everything is alright to open communications to work on issues I or the other party have). That being said, I feel i mustve done something horrible to the friend without realizing it. The frustrating part is I dont know what. A few weeks ago, I joked how horny they were for this character (I wont say who because its a very popular but kinda niche character).. But im just not sure if thats what caused them to ghost me. I would be.. Really surprised if it was.
Im just so upset because I actually did reach out to the person because they got really passive aggressive in the group chat, and they said everything is fine. Theyre just stressed about the outbreak. A few days after, they ghosted.
In regards of my ghosted friend, they are diagnosed with something but told me it was hidden from them when they were a minor? (They were institutionalized). It could had been BPD, but I never pushed them to tell me because obviously the whole thing was traumatic to them.
After we ended things, the friend sent a few messages to our mutual friends, and it was along the lines of 'me and op may not be friends anymore but I love you' and the friend started blocking them as well.. Im really concerned if he is having some sort of episode, but I cant do anything about it to help them.
No. 545956
>>545866please don't. please reply to this saying you didn't.
life is a joke for everyone, stay with us please.
No. 545971
>>545961I see, thank you for letting me know. Im not really knowledgeable about BPD. However, I will admit
>>545823 is not the first person to suggest my friend having it. We are in our mid 20s as a reference.
No. 545992
>>545798>iggnoer this ,caus..se of my weeb faggery ,an;d using caps like a cuck buut;;t II w;;ass havinng a panic attack so II wrrtte a ccoppe ffaan fiction nto calm doownn;; and ;;itt h..Ad a lot of really, dark and gross thhemes. but I publishedi t o n a,,o3 and somene coommmented "this is hott, can you do a 2ngd chaapter?""NO. PEPOLE AE NOT SSUPPOSSED TO FIND IT T HOT AND ITT W AS DISGSTING ANDF ILTHY AND ..PEOPLE WERRE SUPPPOOSED TO BE DISTURBE!!! I posotEd it in ho pes ofo findign peoop..le who could.. relatte to my pain and how I was feeling, noT people who wolud ffeetish;;ize it!!!! Its noot even a normmal fetish it..s extreemely taboo ,and illegal and uncommomn annd gross!!!!!!! whhat the fuck!! I literall,y put tha..t uI wrote the fic t oc om eedo wn from na pnaci attack in the ta..gs annd authorrs notee aannd thhat I;;I yse..fl didn''t li,,ke or ussually write that kind of stuuff. im just so asham;ed of myself ffor unknowingly c..ap,tering to those kkinds
oof people…… imm , just reaally na.ivee h uh…
this just re eally gets my blood ppuummping. cope fics ..are comm,,mon on ao3 so I wasn'tt expcetiing thi;s k,,kinddx of respponse.
No. 545996
>>545992thank you for the laugh
i really needed it rn
No. 545999
File: 1587849368978.png (96.26 KB, 218x265, cba.png)
>>545992>reddit bots on lolcowWe've become full circle.
No. 546006
I had a very bad year last year and my friends ended up abandoning me.
I did a very similar thing to what >>545821's friend did but in my case I've dealing with a heavy depression derivated from suffering very bad physical abuse at home and due to other people lying and decieving me I've developed severe trust issues, and I've really felt they didn't give a fuck, apart from them not being not very good people and sort of personal cows, but those were things I wanted to forgive.
I can understand them wanting to keep distance from me to a point, but they switched friends after maybe 2 months and acting like bff's with them when they didn't barely know eachother. They became completely different people in a very short span of time and I felt frightened because I saw that happen before but I never would have thought I see them pulling one like this as soon as I seemed to be gone. They also didn't reach out for me immediately like
>>545821 which only reafirmed my fears.
At that point I wanted to really believe they didn't care for me at the beginning of last year so I could move on quickly, but turns out they sort of did, and they really did an effort to reconnect with me; but it failed because my life was still a mess and I had no actual support so I kept following random bad advice as I didn't have access to professional help in desperate attempts of fixing everything while I was panicking. Then they abandoned me for real, and now all they do is lash out and yell at me whenever I try to reach out for them again. I've been told really nasty stuff by my male friend specifically, and my other friend just ghosted me.
I tried looking for new friends and connecting with new people but it just doesn't work. I feel I'm forcing myself to be nice and just faking it. It feels like shit. I just want my friends back even if they are not the best people; I used to have a safe space with them where I just could relax and laugh at silly stuff together. I just can't believe after a decade of friendship and knowing all I've been throught and how stressed I've been from work they aren't even giving me the chance to redeem myself. I've literally been told they have nothing to talk about. I just feel like shit. They did many objectively bad stuff but I'm starting to wonder if I deserve this after all, if I've been the worst here.
No. 546011
>>545839I'm bordering on if that fucking post was actually bait or not.
>Write a darkfic b-b-because of m-muh panic attack;w;;;;; >get offended when people find it hot Zoomers really can't understand that they can't control how their audience sees and interprets their product.
No. 546057
File: 1587862777717.png (21.08 KB, 275x205, DFE69DE0-AC3D-407E-9CD1-478A14…)
On Tuesday my college teachers want to call all of their students to talk about work and such but, ugh, I'm really dreading it. I have nothing to say to them and I already hate calling as it is. It's to give support and answer questions or whatever, but I find it very stupid to be mandatory since I have no questions to ask and I already really hate talking to them. I feel so awkward talking to them as it is, it'll be even more awkward at home. I wish I wouldn't worry about this like a normal person. I really just want to be a NEET for a while, honestly. And then get a very unsocial job. Quarantine has been very good for me until now. I really don't see why the fuck I have to call them.
No. 546062
>>546038Why? Do you assume every anon claiming that is trying to pass as a uwu kawaii girl?
>>546004Hi there anon, my mom wasn't born in Japan but she has full japanese blood and my father's of german descent. I totally understand how you feel. I've lashed out at my mom a few times for never teaching me either even tho she's perfectly fluent. I was taking Japanese classes before corona but it's so hard and I have a heavy accent as well. Since this is the vent thread: the whole reason I was learning it was to get over my complex about being ostracized as a child. It never came to my mind they actually just didn't like a girl being around boys, but to this day I still think it was about me 'looking different'. Don't give up anon, I'm sure we can learn it if we apply ourselves
No. 546074
>>546006Hey, this has really given me a new perspective if what had happened between mt friend and I. Their life is eeriely similar to yours.
When I first realized that I got ghosted, I didnt reach out immediately either. I had assumed my friend wanted space, and that they would contact me later. It wasnt until a while til I realized I was actually being ghosted.
Looking back, I do agree there mustve been some sort of miscommunication between my friend and I. I am still worried about them and whether this behavior is some sort of breakdown because of whats happening at home and in the world.
Im sorry your old friends no longer want to be with you. They dont seem very kind in the first place if they were aware what happened (assuming you communicated about your breakdown).
Sometimes, I feel like my ghosted friend will reach out to me later. That 'haha, I was in a bad place when I said all of this.'
I genuinely loved my ghosted friend (platonically). We were dreaming about running away from our family so we could be together and finally flourish. I cant say Im not hurt and confused of what happened… But I do wonder if his mental health was at a tipping point, and I failed him by not realizing it til now.
No. 546137
File: 1587877483757.png (54.45 KB, 360x383, rember.png)
i have such a hard time maintaining friendships and talking to people consistently. i've had a lot of opportunities to become really close with people but… it just feels like i'm too busy to keep friends, and then i spend my free time alone doing my own things. i've ghosted people unintentionally because i got caught up in work and studies.
i've always had this problem but after being physically attacked ~3 years ago it just got worse. i hate going out so constant friend dates are a no-go, and i don't like letting people get close to me emotionally. i have the energy to go out and see friends maybe once or twice a year, and even then it's because they invite me… even chatting online can be too much
it makes me feel like such a shit person. people probably think i don't care about them but it's not true, i think about them all the time but i feel so tired. some people persist and ask me out but others have given up, which i totally understand. i've been diagnosed with social anxiety but i forget that a lot, mostly because i see it as a personal failure instead of some kind of brain imbalance
No. 546142
>>546140currently on antiaxiety and antidepressants, been to therapy on and off for years but my last few bouts have been pretty successful ptsd therapies (successful enough to leave the house, not get scared by noises, etc)
the official labels for me are cptsd/ptsd, depression, and anxiety–i've really wrangled all of them down to the point where i can live with them but i guess it still affects me more than i want to believe
No. 546267
File: 1587914392319.jpg (71.3 KB, 564x705, aes.jpg)
Anyone else with maladaptive daydreaming disorder?
I have been literally daydreaming my life away since I was like 9. Reality just doesn't feel good enough. I have friends, go out, socialize, but these don't satisfy me, I always feel like something's missing. I am happiest when I am alone, listening to music and imagining different - completely unlikely - scenarios in my head. The problem is that the more time I spend alone, fantasizing, the more alienated I've become from reality and the more socially awkward I act when I'm with people.
I have to stop this but I have no motivation to do so. Reality will never live up to my imagination
No. 546280
>>546267I spend a decent time of the day doing it. Doing ot for years now. I had a time were I completely stopped with it. A few years… and then it came back.
Mind telling what u r imagine?
No. 546289
Having most of my family die, nearly feeling like there's some curse over my dad's side of the family, I have realised how little material means. Yea wow you have a house, cars and stuff yet you refused to be a decent person? Once you're dead, your siblings are dead and your parents are dead, there's maybe a few relatives left, stuck with all the crap. With a house that now feels somehow filthy, it kinda looks the same from your childhood memories, you now have all the power yet you just feel cheated. All these fucking years of pure fear and now all i see is a slightly messy, eerie house. Lots of taxes to pay. I can't explain but once all the people are dead, it all feels like it was for nothing, I almost feel sick to think about selling the house and shit to someone else, the whole place feels beyond cursed.
No. 546293
>>546280When I was a kid, they usually were about me having some sort of superpower, fighting monsters, discovering secret societies, and having other grand adventures lol, as I grew, they became more centered around relationships, like having a secret, passionate affair with an actor from my favourite tv show or movie or even game. Tv shows, movies and music are the biggest
triggers for me.
It is so fucking frustrating because I feel like I really have no control over it, like an addiction. It affects my relationships, my work and it also makes me procrastinate doing everyday chores like cooking, cleaning, etc.
How did you manage to stop doing it for years?
No. 546322
>>546272Kinda reminds of mine, but not as bad. She's frustrated because I never talk to her, but that's because I feel that when I do, she either doesn't listen or she mocks me. I told her once I was worried because I was seemingly losing weight for no reason, she answered "oh, how your sister and I wish we could lose weight just like that!" (stop drinking ffs), another time I said I was anxious "but not as much as your sister", like hell, just let me express myself. I remember being mocked for my interests and hobbies for a long time, so I keep everything to myself, then she's angry because I don't tell her what gifts I'd like for Christmas and my birthday.
No. 546358
File: 1587926104144.gif (1.54 MB, 360x234, a942d1dd-34cc-4185-a7c9-f02872…)
I'm fine with being single but whenever I remember that I'm from a shitty third world country that's highly christian and with a population of only 4mil and I don't ever want to have children… yea, I'll die alone.
I mean it's okay but fuck I want someone to cuddle with too.
No. 546364
>>546324that's perfectly normal. you were probably distracted by other things since december but the quarantine makes you focus on your grief again.
there's no wrong or right way to grieve, all you can do is be kind to yourself and try to keep moving forward.
No. 546385
I (23f) recently broke up with a very twisted and abusive individual (28m). He cheated on me with a crackhead (46?f) and we actually got back together for a while after that(dont ask i know it was dumb, worst mistake of my life but i was in a very dark place and dont want to get into that, but basically alone in a bad enviroment and desperate for affection and someone to talk to).
We broke up again in early september last year, basically i told him to stop contacting me and get out of my life, also deleted him as a friend on fb. He has since then liked and commented on my siblings posts on fb, posts i have shared on my siblings walls and pictures and posts others have tagged me in.
Fast forward to this month. I went over to my mums(46f) place to cook dinner together and spend some quality time. Her laptop was on the kitchen table logged into her facebook and i sit down on a chair facing the laptop. i glanced randomly since it was facing me and I see her recent contacts and that my ex was high up on that list, this freaked me out and in panic i asked her why that was while i clicked on him. They have been chatting and playing a facebook game together all day long since early April.
I looked at their whole convo and saw that it started with him congratulating her parents(my grandparents) anniversary and asked her not to tell me about it, then some time after that another message congratulating my siblings on their birthday(days apart), a few days after that she initiated a game on fb with him and they have been playing and chatting since then….
I feel so torn and betrayed. She knew he cheated on me, abused me verbally and mentally, gaslit me and many other horrible things… I wonder if they would have ended up meeting or something in the future, she might have thought that since he cheated with a woman her age.
Im so torn, some support or advice would maybe help collect my thoughts and calm me down, im so devastated… i blocked him on her account and texted and messaged him on fb and phone to stop hitting on my mum because its weird.
More info: My mum i suspect is a narcissist, she has always put me down for looks, talents(or lack therof), and personality, opinions. My parents broke up when i was 10 and she has since made ir her life mission to get me to hate my dad and his whole family, everytime we meet its about my dad how horrible he is, how horrible his family is, how they dont love me or my siblings. Have pretty much been her therapist since age 10, with long car rides when she hurls abuse at my dad and his family constantly, when i had a personal issue in my life i was dumb and she reverted the convo back to herself. She has also gotten physical a few times.
No. 546393
>>546389I dont live with her but she lives with my grandparents whom adore(they are on vacation atm) and we work together so she could probably get me fired or talk bad about me to coworkers, she LOVES drama.
>>546392Should have done that…. Did block my ex though, feom her account.
No. 546468
File: 1587943992337.gif (194.45 KB, 477x456, villager-mad.gif)
I'm pissed off because i'm working what is considered an essential job (starbucks) but i wish we'd close. I hate it!! I'm stuck there 8 or more hours a day serving lemonade, teas and shitty frapps because people dont want to stay home. Someone once came for a cake pop– that's it!
I dont even run into any nurses or police. it's just moms and dads in their giant trucks and vans, along with bored teens. I wish starbucks would close during this pandemic, but they are even talking about opening the full cafes next month. So we'd be face to face with people again. I want to quit
No. 546475
File: 1587946825173.jpeg (Spoiler Image,100.27 KB, 598x817, 77B2EFF9-B86F-4917-88A4-1E98B1…)
>>546468mfw when people with jobs lament about having to work while I have to answer 250 calls a day from people who are laid off and trying to apply for unemployment but our system is bogged down by all the requests and constantly crashing and I have no way to help them get their money while they can’t make rent or buy groceries to feed their kids
No. 546559
File: 1587965251406.jpg (95.46 KB, 792x1024, 43dd6f5db12b2350816411ec6694c3…)
I hate that I can't be enthusiastic of one thing that goes well because someone will be like "oh it's just a coincidence, it doesn't mean anything in the long run, loser!!". Yes maybe it doesn't mean anything but let me have this one thing, I need this shit to motivate myself. You don't want me to improve, you want to kick me down and weed competition out. This gets me back to my old mood of not wanting to try again, ever.
No. 546651
>>546592but how would you know? I'm really annoying.
(thank you anon)
No. 546660
>>546617She’s cooking for you guys? Is she doing other household-y stuff that includes you guys like doing the dishes, cleaning shared spaces, your laundry? Suck it up, take over some of those tasks instead of asking her if she needs help.
You’re not helping her by making your own food or cleaning your own space. You’re taking part in a shared household.
Bonus points she may run out of reasons to be angry with you if you’re actually putting in effort to be nice.
No. 546675
>>546660>>546666The thing is that usually the chores are equally divided and we all do our fair share, but with the current situation, she has taken upon herself to do everything and makes a snide remark if we want to do it (like "don't try to make yourself useful").
It's not like she cooks specially for us, it's that she makes a big meal for the dinner when my dad is here (he's the only one who still works like usual despite lockdown) and we have to all eat together, otherwise we are on our own.
I'm not even aggressive or vindictive towards her, I still greet her every morning (at least she answers), she's just in full DNI mode.
No. 546686
>>546479Mine has a drive thru, so only that is open, but the line is so long, it's divided into two lines at the parking lot. It's insane.
>>546485Catastrophe pay ends in a few days and it was only 20 hours per week, which i cant live on. Not sure what's going to happen may 4th, but i really really hope the cafes remain closed for now.
No. 546694
My friends have been acting really weird towards me for a couple years now. When I first met them I was a fresh college grad and in shape, but over the course of living with someone not right and being in a miserable job I gained weight and stopped caring about myself. About two years ago I made a turnaround and started to style and dress like I cared again. I relearned how to style myself from my hair, makeup, clothes, to picture taking. Ditched my ex and left the miserable job, then got an office job where I used my degrees. In short I did a lot of "glowing up" from being in a slump where I had no self-esteem. I've gotten a lot of compliments, and while I'm not the hottest I still feel confident knowing that I'm doing my best.
My friends have developed a different attitude towards me. One of them always implies I'm constantly wearing makeup just because I wear some when we all hang out together like they also do. One time when I slept over she made a big deal of "seeing me without makeup" after I washed my face when we all were ready for bed. It was super backhanded, and it's funny because they never used to say anything back when I hung out w/o makeup during my slump. Her husband was kind of in on it too so I figured she talks shit when I'm not around. Note that this is a girl who wears makeup, gets botox, circle lenses, and is a bottle blonde so it's not like she's a no-makeup natural to be implying I'm less authentic than everyone else. Another thing I do that I think annoys them is taking flattering pictures of myself. Whenever we hang out and take group photos I get the impression that they're trying to gotcha me since they're the ones typically in control of the pics and editing. For one thing they never not use a facetune app, but if they don't like how they look in our photos we'll retake and retake until we get it just right for them. If I don't really like how I look they just brush me aside as long as they look okay, and of course they'd never post photos where they look derpy and I look good. One time I didn't like how my double chin was showing and one piped up "It's not like it makes a difference!" implying I looked fat either way, but they would never have that attitude if their double chins were showing up in the picture and they'd retake immediately. The bottle blonde friend I mentioned once got miffed bc I didn't want to tag her candid picture of me that she took while I was playing beer pong because it was blurry, I looked like shit, and wasn't even aware she was taking a photo. Whereas I got really cool shots of her because I got her to pose and made sure she knew what I was doing. I even show them the photos before (after I edited them to make them look good) and not post if they ask me not to. Even figuring that the pic wasn't blurry it still made me feel bad because I always take care to make sure my friends not look like shit in theirs. Yet they don't care how I feel and insinuate I'm some kind of fake if I want my pictures to look as good as theirs. For example another friend in our group also wears makeup and does a lot of selfies where she doesn't much look like her candids, but they all support her and don't try to make her feel bad. So why is it only me that gets this treatment?
It sounds to me like they're jealous, not in a "i'M sOooOO mUcH PrEtTiErr!1!!" type of way. I just think they were used to me being the ugly token fatty in the group that they could look down on for awhile, so now that I've shaken up the status quo a little they want things to go back to how they were when I was severely depressed. They think putting on a bit of makeup and posting a decent picture are things I'm not entitled to as a true uggo. It's like they see me getting dressed up and taking nice photos and think they're humbling me to remind me that they don't think I'm all that attractive and they're better than me. Like I can't feel pretty, because they think I'm ugly so that's a threat. It's hard to make a case that they're good friends who want me to be happy when they try to subtly undercut me like that at every turn. The job thing especially pissed them off when I got it. I think they forgot that I have college degrees because I never bring them up and I don't flex my intellectual dick when we hang. They patronized me before during my hunt when I wasn't having luck, because I wasn't settling for retail. One even offered to graciously hire me to be a desk slave for her dad's company for minimum wage. Well when I finally got hired they all wanted me to suddenly care about their resumes and basically get them in on what I got. Except there's only so much advice I could have given because they had no degrees nor any kind of credentials outside of retail, another detail I'm sure they also downplay about me. Sorry if I'm making anyone feel bad but I feel so attacked by their passive aggressive bullshit sometimes.
No. 546697
File: 1588001280280.jpeg (23.67 KB, 400x216, 9644EE71-8EBD-4C02-AF35-EB2D43…)
Apparently some guy has been shoplifting every week where I work but he’s never in during my shift. When my coworkers ask about the item he steals he pretends to be hard of hearing so I think if I ever have to engage with him I’m just going to talk as obnoxiously loud as possible to embarrass him in front of the other customers
No. 546828
>>546759>>546764So unnecessary. I’m glad there are people who can relate. It’s like these men have a deeper connection to my hair than I do and I don’t get it. It’s weird and uncomfortable.
>>546792Thanks anon! I might be biased but I think it’s really cute as well.
No. 546840
File: 1588030830526.png (364.85 KB, 702x637, 1535220036520.png)
This is fucking shit, the so-called pharyngitis/otitis/tonsillitis/??? (they don't even know wtf it is) that supposedly should have healed by this time it hasn't, my ears itch/hurt like crazy, the right side of my throat is swollen kinda like a ball, i still have swollen lymph nodes and it hurts to swallow, i did everything they wanted, i took antibiotics day and night, antiinflammatories too and nothing happened, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? I already have 3 MONTHS like this and still all doctors refuse to check my throat despite the fact that obviously something is wrong, and not only that, two months ago i had an intestinal obstruction caused by constipation, i went to the doctor and he sent me some medications but they didn't do shit and since then the left side of my abdomen hurts and the pain is unbearable (if it's only that side, because sometimes my whole abdomen hurst). It has been like this for 2 months too but nobody gave a shit, now today i had a lactose intollerance related- diarrhea since that's the only way i can poop and i don't have money for laxatives and i found a literal white ball in my feces??? i know what yall thinking: "that's just milk you retard" but i drink milk almost daily and this didn't happen before, this is truly strange and i would go mental but i'm just too tired.
My parents are blaming me with no reason for getting sick and my sister is being a blunt bitch to me when i need her most, i just want to kill myself i'm sick of this, i have enough with probably suffering from something horrible i don't want to feel guilty and to be yelled at when i can barely move from the pain, i don't want to expose my family to get corona but i can no longer ignore it it hurst alot. I don't even want to see what yall will say about this, i know what you think and i know it looks bad, i don't know why i was born only to experience this.
No. 546878
>>546870If I wasn't invited by the first friend I wouldn't have joined it in the first place honestly.
Thinking about it more I don't want to lose that friend, so I'm sitting here suffering in college boy shitpost hell and I feel like if I leave then my friend will hate me. Don't want to lose them because childhood friends yatta yatta stuck in a hard place.
No. 546909
File: 1588050934593.jpg (37.22 KB, 567x624, 1563849785566.jpg)
>tfw have that childhood trauma high voice thing
>been told by other women i'm doing it for attention/putting on a "loli" voice
>there's no way you talk like that right
>RIGHT
fuck off fuck off fuck off not everything is related to anime i'm not trying to compete with you why are you so mad about it fuck off
No. 546912
>>546911anon why tf are you so hostile, you're just proving my point
>uwu childhood abuse uwui don't expect people to know, it's just rude as hell and shouldn't have to be questioned
No. 546914
>>546912I bet most people think youre retarded anyway so youll be fine.
>>546913You wont be getting any pussy around here.
No. 546950
File: 1588059316469.jpeg (Spoiler Image,437.72 KB, 1125x1049, A31F7429-16D2-423D-93C5-612005…)
LEAVE ME ALONE YOU HELLACIOUS PIECE OF MANURE
No. 546952
>>546947How does that make you a bad friend tho? I think it's normal to feel insecurity if you see someone doing the same thing getting more praise. As long as you're not projecting your feeling onto anyone else or saying she doesn't deserve it, it doesn't make you a bad friend.
Perhaps the subject matter of her art appeals to a broader audience, even if your skill level is the same as her. Or she has more clout, or has more friends in your group, so they feel more inclined to praise her.
No. 546955
>>546952I suppose because when people used to look at my work compared to hers they would always say I did a better job than her, and I used to defend it tooth and nail because it was rude. Now I'm finding myself agreeing and it's just become a thing of jealousy and it's ugly.
I'd never openly say this to her or anyone else, but it feels like a shitty thing to feel, and the only reason I feel she gets the attention and clout that she does is because she can get things out faster.
And you're right. We're all fairly good friends but at the end of the day they will always pick her so it makes sense.
No. 546970
>>546968Probably because you are a loser that has nothing else really going on for them.
Would an animal keep going back to a place with predators if it had a better spot?
No. 546993
>>546947I feel that so much, anon.
I got my own artstyle while being great at anatomy, I also post my animations that I am proud of (with over 100 frames), and I am experiencing the same thing… Normie people foreshadow me, they like pretend to avoid any comments towards my work, too, while praising everytime other girl posts her medicore portraits that u can see on every 'inspiring' artblogs where they post the same crap w/ celebrities. It really bums me down and I hate it so much, but the only thing that helped me is to stop posting at all and start posting on small (!) discord art commmunities. Or art channels of small servers.
No. 546997
>>546694Friend groups like this where everyone is subtly competing with each other and choose one person to gang up on are exhausting. Once they realize you’re not putting up with their shit anymore they’ll find a new
victim in the group to become the butt of the joke. I hope you can find better friends and move on, it’s better to be alone than be in a friend group that doesn’t appreciate you.
No. 546999
>>546947Does she do more fanart or have a leaning anime style? I find people with realism, western, or cartoon will be ignored for those. Same thing with basic coloring (grayed
shadows) vs someone who adds more hue to their shadows and light that gives it more life.
>>546993Damn 100+ frames that's amazing anon
No. 547014
>>546999Thank you. I am a really hardworking person (thanks to my guardians supporting whatever I do) and passionate about creating animation. I tend to overwork way too much cause I don't know when to chill, but its fine by me. Just wish social media never affected me and the things that I make. I get good praise from many places, but all i care about is those people because they are, in fact, really nice ones. But I guess I can't please men and women who prefer praising medicore Adventure Time (!!!) Artworks and boring portraits. There's always audience for everyone.
I still think they also stopped commenting on it because I would post A LOT of my works…Not a lot, 3 times a week at best (while she posts once per 2 months or so) but they were never "half-assed". People are really difficult to understand. But I am still glad that such thing doesn't bother me as much.
No. 547044
>>546694this is exactly why i dont have female friends anymore. Heck im still suffering over what my
abusive piece of shit so called ''best friend'' put me through.
No. 547048
>>546987I try not to be, but it's difficult when you put a lot of self-worth into your work only to have it be ignored. It's not healthy and I know this, but it's something a lot of artists do and that I'm trying to break myself from.
And there are other reasons to make me feel like they don't like me, some of them at least, it just has happened so many times that it makes me feel terrible sharing my work with them anymore. (No offense taken, I do need to work on my insecurities)
I'll look into some new art discords to join, thank you for the suggestion!
>>546993100 frames is incredible, anon. I'm definitely opening up to the idea of joining new servers to branch out. I'm glad to hear that it's helped you!
>>546999She does, yeah. She's got a simple style but it works with fanart really well and can be done quickly which is why so many people enjoy it, so I understand. It just sucks trying to 'compete' when you know you can't match it type of thing.
No. 547057
Not a vent important enough to post in the covid thread, and I'm aware this sounds like whining anyway: My mental health towards work was already shit before this pandemic went down. I'm a demoralized contract hire and I feel like I'm always getting dicked out of pay and benefits, and after a time I feel that there is no real incentive for me to try that hard and yet working hard gives me a sense of pride. I've tried recruiters and consultation services to get a better direction in my life (I have two degrees and a decade of work) but the truth is, it benefits the people in power to pay me the least for doing the most. I'm well aware that employment operates like an abusive relationship at times but I don't have anyone to support me so I often settle because the alternative is to go broke and homeless.
The latest shenanigans was that my contract w/ my current company was set to expire shortly after the official stay at home orders for covid were mandated. I'd been with this current company for a half year up to that point. My employment here has been easy but annoying, I basically was assigned to do all the shit that other people in the office don't wanna do. It's easy work but tedious as all hell, and I often felt that I was making a nuisance out of myself by asking people for work There are good cop/bad cop operational managers where one would tell me how he wanted to keep me on but said the decision was ultimately on the other manager who would say really strange things insinuating that I wasn't going to be kept around. After covid, they sent me home with my office desktop for remote work, but the question about my contract renewal was still up in the air despite the expiration being within weeks (I know it's generally a good sign to be sent home with a computer but I needed a guarantee in writing). Then the good cop manager said how he wanted me back in the office for half a week for training for a new function that takes months to be qualified for. I agreed even though I didn't WANT to due to covid, because I thought if I said 'no' to them it would cause them to deny my renewal. So I go in on the aforementioned days. Yet the people meant to be training me are often busy which causes me to wait aimlessly inside the building for hours (and remember I still technically have work to be doing remotely while this time wasting is happening). No one can ever say to me "I will be available at 0800 meet me here." It's meant to be up to me to go in, beg for the attention, and cool my ass if they're not ready. I need to check my work email throughout the day but I could only access it through a shared computer lab as my desktop was at home. I sent out an email or two illustrating what I've been doing in my time and trying to ask questions about the process, but generally I was met with dismissal. It pissed me off that not only was I exposing myself to covid just on the basis of going into a populated building, but that I was being blown off because people can't simply agree to a time to get me trained! And then I have to use gross shared computers while I wait? No thanks.
The result was that I felt frustrated and dejected. Yet I tolerated it because I thought this all would amount to something and be worth it for me.
After all this, a different contractee who was hired shortly after me (but got trained for this apparently important function off the bat) was offered direct hire. My contract was renewed for 2 more months (I thought they said another year but I misheard and was corrected). How tf do they only renew a contract for 2 months?! Fucking FIRE ME so I can collect fucking unemployment (which pays more than my wage !!!!!) within the safety of my god damn apartment, and that way you don't have to deal with my ass! Nut no, now I have to worry about job hunting again in basically another month instead while I juggle this stupid ass training issue. Why not just shit in my mouth and make me swallow?
I'm absolutely demotivated to go in. I know I'm bitch-faced but I've been nothing but polite and professional when corresponding with them, like I've literally never done anything to them and if they ever had a major issue with me I've never been made aware of it. Maybe it's because I'm the youngest in my office and the only one not married or have kids, but my life isn't less important because of that.
I don't care if I'm self-fulfilling their prophecy about me, I don't want to really try anymore. There was no reward for my good faith attempts, so if I can skirt by with half assing then why not at this point? I made up an excuse to not do that pathetic shift at the office today, I told god cop manager I was speaking to a remote mental health social worker and that I'd sign in FROM HOME later if they needed me. I wish there was a way to make them feel so small and disposable like how they make people like me feel.
No. 547059
>>546909Ok first things first, I do sympathize with you and I know that it’s this autistic reflex that you can’t do anything about, but you/we aren’t allowed to enable ourselves like this. If you’re over the age of 18 I suggest you to stop excusing yourself, I suffered from this too and I worked my hardest to get rid of it. We’re not harming anyone else by doing this voice but ourselves. This is not how we normally speak.
t. 6 months free of goo goo gaa gaa ‘ing unironically
No. 547137
>>547048I feel the same as you two anons. I post on a small art discord and one artist gets a ton of praise and my work hardly gets any feedback. It’s frustrating because there’s a few people who get all the praise but when I talk on voice chat or ask for help I’m ignored. I don’t get it and I wonder if I’ve done something wrong. It sucks because I thought we were good friends before Covid went down but now that we’re all on Discord it really seems like the ones who were popular on IG are getting all the praise while everyone else is ignored.
I realize I have insecurities and I’m also competitive so I’m trying to temper it, but I get down a lot when I’m in the group.
No. 547172
File: 1588115372064.png (279.89 KB, 455x500, 1527552850008.png)
>>547143Wasn't that an article written by Peta or Kotaku? Jesus, I didn't know there's people out there that actually parrot the
toxic garbage they froth up.
I don't want to pull those '>tfw too intelligent muh million IQ'
shit but is it just me or is the majority of youngsters losing common sense. Yes, even college students will still be dumb as they were in grade school, but its turning into a unicorn hunt to find a single one who has the patience and attention span to pause and think about the situations around. It gets especially annoying when they parrot the same strawman buzzwords instead of being willing to listen and talk it out or trying to "win" or "look good" in front of others. Fuck I saw a steep decline when I entered college- there used to at least be a handful of understanding classmates, and it was reduced to one after.
Sometimes I think banning the internet for children will do wonders for society. Have mandatory parental control so they won't be manipulated by stupid shit, and to have better life experiences. So when they become adults they'll understand the value of things like privacy or know how to take things at face value (until proven by actions than pretty-sounding speeches).
No. 547212
File: 1588126651304.jpg (605.53 KB, 1263x1920, e024744876de490a1c67cdcb534a8b…)
Since my dad's health has been getting progressively worse im getting more and more nervous about finally meeting my younger half-sister, basically to just sort out inheritance shit. Yes im in my twenties and I never met my sister, she doesn't want to either.
From what i've heard of family gossip she's an asshole and overachiever and hates me for being the main monetary benifeciary in the inheritance stuff and being the only kid that was sort of raised by our dad, spoiler alert he's an alcoholic and being raised by him was more traumatizing than being fatherless.
Im genuinely anxious she will give me a hard time when i will already have to deal with funerals and the whole wazoo, I really don't want to have to take legal action against my own sister on top of that, but it looks it will be the only option I will have.
No. 547287
>>547275>it's not physicallearn2read, it can be physical and/or mental. a quick google search will lead you to articles and papers.
>upset because woman have been shat on about their voice pitcheskind of like how y'all are lmao. this reeks of being insecure of your own femininity and projecting it on others
No. 547298
Sorry if this gets long.
I'd had 2 long-term relationships and I was always living with someone ever since I moved out of my mom's place, which was the size of a hotel room and I never had any privacy. My first bf was nice but very sloppy and lazy. The second one was the exact opposite and constantly badgered me about not cleaning well enough.
I got out of that second relationship in early February 2020 and moved into my own apartment. This is the first apartment I've ever had on my own, and I like it very much.
On leap day, a coworker of mine confessed to me. We started dating, and he hasn't left my place since. He's been sleeping over every day except rare occasions when he went to visit his family (even during the lockdown) and then he'd come back.
Thing is, I haven't been living alone for even a month and someone already "moves in" with me. I live in a small studio apartment the size of one room + bathroom so they're always around. They get to listen to me piss and shit from day 1 of our relationship, I can't work out with him around because I get self-conscious, I can't learn to play the guitar because I'm a beginner and I suck whilst he already knows how to play and always shows off and tries to "teach me". He plays the same 5 songs over and over every morning and evening, like clockwork. It's becoming annoying as hell because I can't practice with him around.
I like to pace around when I'm thinking and he always gets up and starts imitating me to make fun of me. I told him to stop and he said "no no but it's cute! I'm not trying to make fun of you, I'm just joking!"
I asked him if I could have some time to myself and he got butthurt. I am his first ever girlfriend and he wants to spend every waking moment with me. I used to get bullied as a kid a LOT for doing anything, both by my mom and my peers, so I like the privacy and even if someone insists on "noooo I won't judge, you can practice, it's okay", I still feel uncomfortable.
Am I a dick for wanting him to go to his own house for a little while? We both live alone and close by so it wouldn't be breaking quarantine. I just feel like at this rate I'll die with someone always breathing down my neck and commenting what I do.
No. 547300
>>547298wtf, tell him to get the fuck out of your place. You're not a dick, everyone deserve some alone time.
He's a dick however. You've told him what you needed (something pretty reasonnable considering this is a new relationship and your flat is tiny) and he dismissed you. He can't even go spend a day at his own place? That's really selfish.
No. 547304
>>547300agreed.
He needs to respect your completely reasonable request for alone time.
No. 547321
File: 1588156521543.gif (Spoiler Image,1.84 MB, 400x225, AD85E714-634E-4856-B8B7-55943A…)
>>547298So let’s recap
make fun of me. I told him to stop and he said "no no but it's cute! I'm not trying to make fun of you, I'm just joking!"
> he makes fun of you and ignores you when you have pointed out he’s joke isn’t funny asked him if I could have some time to myself and he got butthurt.
>red flag codependency I am his first ever girlfriend and he wants to spend every waking moment with me.
>It sounds like you are the first one to say yes to him I used to get bullied as a kid a LOT for doing anything, both by my mom and my peers, so I like the privacy and even if someone insists on "noooo I won't judge, you can practice, it's okay", I still feel uncomfortable.
> he doesn’t respect your boundaries He plays the same 5 songs over and over every morning and evening, like clockwork.
>autistic No. 547354
>>547344Based. I hope people like her drown in misery.
t. Butthurt beta
No. 547358
>>547298I don't wanna lecture you anon, just be cautious of these codependent types of men who weasel into your apartment and don't leave. It happened to me when I was in grad school, took my ex home with me from the bar the first night we met and he NEVER left my townhouse and proceeded to bung up my life for the next 4 years. They move quickly into your life because they need to secure the bond before you notice their red flags to dump them. Sounds like you're already seeing that he's an asshole. Trust your gut. Don't let him start bringing over his clothes and toothbrush whatever you do lol.
>>546968I won't tell you what to do anon but I suspect you'll get too sick and tired of being treated like dirt and ditch him on your own accord. How many punches to the gut will you endure?
No. 547364
>>547309Wow you know you fucked up when even your bf thinks you're a piece of shit. Chronic illnesses are often comorbid and autism is frequently linked with gender specialness. Next time try to have a little compassion instead of assuming everyone's an internet retard.
>best friends in high schoollol that's the cherry on the shitty person cake right there. At least send the family some flowers or a small donation or something. It won't make you a less shit person but it's the least you can do.
No. 547374
File: 1588167042284.jpeg (15.31 KB, 400x293, images - 2020-04-29T230035.571…)
im so fucking horny and lonely all the time but im a stupid kissless virgin in my 20s who only wants to experience things with another first timer. im never going to have a fucking boyfriend i just need to accept that im dying alone already
No. 547383
I just broke up with my boyfriend and even though I'm the one who pulled the plug I can't stop crying. We weren't even together for that long, five months, but maybe it hurts so bad because he was my first. I don't hate him, we had some great times together, but we'd fight so much, and he'd constantly do things to set me off without thinking. He'd promise to change but wouldn't, and I gave him so many chances, I just couldn't take it anymore. He loved me so much, maybe to a point that it wasn't healthy, but he'd always say such rude things and act like a dick, probably because it's just part of who he is, something that he just couldn't change. I know it's best for both of us that we broke up. This relationship was off to a bad start anyway, we made it official way too soon, and I didn't love him when it first started either, I was just lonely and too much of a pussy to say no. I tried to break up once before, but he cried and I caved. If I did it back then, I could've saved both of us from a lot of heartbreak. Even now, I don't think I can say I really loved him, maybe i just don't know what that feels like, but I know I got really attached to him. I didn't cry throughout the day, it seemed so easy not to when we were arguing, but once I saw that last goodbye text my whole world just crumbled. I don't regret what I did, but it's so hard to accept that someone who's been a huge part of your life is now completely gone.
No. 547451
>>547383Imagine him shitting.
It helps I promise.
No. 547467
>>547377No she said it behind her back, being a backstabber is one of the worst things someone can do….
t. Gossip imageboard
…to a best friend.
No. 547511
>>543190I was born with small heart and now, once again, i feel heart ache.
I'm always afraid that because my heart is small, something might happen…
No. 547543
>>547540Precisely! She was human with a developed character and her being lesbian was just a part of her. In the media you either have overly sexualised lesbians created with the male audience in mind or lesbians that make it their entire identity which is completely unnatural.
>>547541You play as the tranny the entire second half of the game.Who also kills Joel and is after Ellie and wants to kill her.If the leaks are correct, the story is absolute garbage.
No. 547547
>>547534Is it even confirmed that Abby is trans?
I thought that was just 4chan autists shitting their pants because the character is turbo buff to
go after and destroy Joel and Ellie and because she doesn't have juicy female form and tiddy to fap to. Abby's design wasn't going to be a winnable situation for this plot because gamurs would've ripped on her design regardless of being masc or fem because she's gonna
kill their favorite characters.
In a post-apocalyptic world where there are corrupt institutions, people betraying each other to survive, and literal zombies chasing people down I'd imagine many women in this game universe wouldn't give a shit about being feminine anymore and would want to be as strong-masc as possible in order to survive. It's never directly addressed in the game but it's insinuated that being perceived as a woman will absolutely make them a target. Is it really so unbelievable that the daughter of the
surgeon that Joel murdered at the end of the game after going back on his decision to surrender Ellie would know how to medically enhance herself and perhaps have access to medical supplies to beef herself up for
revenge?
Imo these leaks are out of context and what most people are saying is conjecture. ND is doing something different with their games, and I can have some appreciation for that as long as the full game displays good writing and gives me a reason to question characters while having empathy for others.
No. 547550
>>547547There are interviews (non 4chan sources) with ND employees that confirm that ND wanted to make characters in the game trans friendly by making the women look intentionally more masculine and men more feminine in order to pander to trans people. So, Abby being trans wouldn't surprise me. Even if Abby is actually a biological woman, it doesn't change the fact that they "nerfed" women (their expression not mine) so that transpeople but let's be honest, it's transwomen mostly, don't feel excluded.
I don't mind women not looking conventionally beautiful or not having a perfectly oval face with a button nose and plump lips. I'd welcome that change. However making them look way more androgynous with the only intention to appease trannies is disgusting to say the least.
No. 547561
>>547555Because even unfeminine women are still feminine looking. The most masculine looking woman will never be as masculine as a "passable" tranny unless the tranny underwent lots of surgeries and even then.
It reminds me of those nasty threads I used to see on /lgbt/ where trannies cherry pick the most unflattering photos of women and call them hons. I don't like the media trying to blur the line between what's actually female and male. There are ways to celebrate and promote women that are not conventionally attractive, athletic and so on, but ND's game is not the way. I just can't agree to that.
Though I do agree with you about other devs exploiting female bodies, oversexualising them and so on. I don't like that either and refuse to buy or promote content that's blatantly doing just that.
>>547557lel
My thoughts exactly.
No. 547569
>>547561I'm just saying that the outrage is disproportionate for this one game while people ignore the broader scope of what's been happening to women in games for years. And this time it's so blatantly obvious that the backlash is largely because this "woman" isn't hot.
While we're on the topic of passable/nonpassable, do you believe anyone would care if ND designed Abby to be a 'passable' MtF with feminine characteristics and then later confirmed the trans status?
No. 547609
File: 1588196379201.jpg (Spoiler Image,54.42 KB, 640x1200, EWpFQW_UEAA1fjV.jpg)
That's 100% a male frame though, it's not even a "gamers whining because she isn't hot" situation anymore, not even roided up women look like that. I don't know if they wanted to make her a true and honest troon, but seeing her beat up two much smaller and obvious females is very uncomfortable.
No. 547657
>>547648I think that's
valid. Do you have the same problem when playing with friends?
ADHD af I hop around single player games constantly, a chunk of them I wasted all my time doing unimportant side quests and got too burnt out to finish the story lol
No. 547662
File: 1588204280973.jpg (65.61 KB, 1018x1024, DklCszOV4AAaDoc.jpg)
This is embarrassing and something I could never talk about with people I know IRL but it annoys me irrationally when people I dislike have the same interests and tastes that I have. I feel like an autist for letting stupid shit like this bother me.
No. 547676
File: 1588208590540.jpg (18.71 KB, 403x392, efd.jpg)
>>547662This is a huge mood. When I was in high school I would be privately annoyed by the fact that whenever I posted about something new I just got into, my bully/stalker/former friend would post about it for the first time a few hours later. She even did it back when we were friends. She would never actually invest the time to watch/read/play the things I like. She would just read the Wikipedia article and pretend to enjoy it, a lot like what Moo does.
It got to the point that I just decided to get into really obscure things just so she would stop skinwalking me. I'm actually glad I branched out into those things, too. I've found some things I really enjoy off the beaten path.
I think the thing that pissed me off the most is the fact that Queen was my favorite band in high school, and then when the movie about them came out a few years later, she suddenly started acting like she was this huge Queen stan. She literally used to make fun of me for liking "old white guy" music, now she's all about it. Fake bitch.
No. 547701
>>547676>bully/stalker/former friendIt's funny because the person that inspired me to write the original post could be described exactly the same way. She used to skinwalk me and always try to copy or one-up everything I did, it was so fucking frustrating especially since our mutual friends refused to call her out on it.
Now we don't talk anymore but I still occasionally look at her social media because she's kind of lulzy and likes to overshare online. One specific post that infuriated me was her going, "Oh, in high school I was obsessed with (popular series) and I was totally in love with (side character) it was so funny!" Except that was ME. I was obsessed with that series and that particular character in high school. I fucking knew her throughout all of high school and we were close friends at the time of my obsession with that series. I would've fucking known if she liked that show, I know for a goddamn fact she never watched it, not while we were in high school. It's such a minor thing but it drives me nuts. Why would you lie about something that stupid? And why would you take my experience and pretend it happened to you when it's something as mundane as liking a TV show?
Ugh, I'm sorry you had to put up with your own version of this chick. I know it's petty but I hate people who act like this. Get your own damn identity!
No. 547709
>>547701The girl I knew would follow me in her car and honk at me when I was walking to the grocery store. Then she would text "honk" or "beep" to me. Fucking psycho. I considered getting a restraining order, but luckily she stopped following me about a year ago. She also made an angry blog post last year about how she thinks I broke her project in middle school (I didn't.) Mind you, we're in our
early twenties. I've exchanged like four sentences with her over the last seven years.
When I was in high school, I tried to make new friends to get away from her, but every time she'd try to glom on to my new friends and make them hate me. She tried to tell my best friend to stop inviting me to things. Luckily my friend did the exact opposite and stopped associating with the bully lmfao. Basically this crazy bitch and I had a falling out when we were fourteen and ever since she's stalked me and blamed me for all of her problems. I'm glad I haven't seen her in like a year.
No. 547721
File: 1588217594324.jpeg (977.02 KB, 1431x1125, C2543678-83B9-4E13-8836-759190…)
Breakups suck
Breakups when you dated down suck even more
Why did I defend that trash
No. 547763
File: 1588227420673.gif (1.39 MB, 320x222, waiD6.gif)
i hate being a flat lump. im the definition of skinny fat but i have no ass and it makes me so insecure that thats all people talk about. im just a rectangle. fuck even shayna has more curves than me. i dont even want an ass but it makes me so mad at myself that im just kind of a flat plane
No. 547771
>>547757i'm going to continue sperging because i feel bad but don't care enough to fix this by god forbid studying. fuck, i'm literally tired. i think i just might be a complete fucking retard and tell my parents i no longer believe in islam today. it'd be more entertaining than being an overdramatic bitch and fantasizing about killing myself is. God, the idea of being a complete head ass and telling my parents i don't believe in their retarded religion anymore during ramadhan when i'll be stuck under their roof for months due to rona and am financially dependent because i'm a lazy retard sounds spicy and fun!
anyways when i wake up later today right before my exam and panicking i'll realize this is a stupid fucking idea. but then again, finally pulling the curtains and giving myself the opportunity to really fucking hate my parents might be hella.
god i'm just really going to fail these stupid classes and have to beg the last prof not to, love how i bitch and moan then stop thinking the minute i don't have to.
No. 547773
>>547769 Like I said he's z list but he's a rapper. He dropped my name and a couple others in an apology song last year, with a few other names.
It isn't anything big, but it pisses me off. He used people to get where he is and lied and manipulated people. When I looked into it, he manipulated me to fight against people who had no beef with me. He's a literal psychopath and I'm dealing with the fact I enabled him.
No. 547795
>>547781This, and the trend of wide hips is so wild to me. Since I was like 13 I developed this crazy complex with my hips. I always wanted to be straight because I felt like I looked fat with wide hips (I am 115, and it just looks really weird on my frame)
It’s crazy that women are going through hell to get hips.
Just know they suck.
No. 547799
>>547798Out of morbid curiosity anon, how did you figure this out? Just touching it? Weird symptoms you saw a doctor for and they probed you?
Either way, I hope you are ok.
I do.
No. 547802
>>547799Went to scrub my face and neck and felt the lump. Feels like a piece of a rubber ball. Painless, skin is normal, just a firm lump.
Had been feeling pretty rundown but that’s sort of normal. Started getting nightsweats and now wake up wet and have drenching sweats and chills during the day.
The lump got a little bigger over a few weeks so had the doc have a look, he said to keep an eye on it.
six months later and two more superficial lymph nodes swelled up and the original one got bigger, appetite went to shit and usually feel full after five mouthfuls. Lost 5 kilos which is juuuuust a touch off 10% of my weight. Told the doctor about it two days ago and he ordered the tests as urgent.
Sorry for the massive info dump. Apparently it’s a really easy cancer group to miss until it’s symptomatic. Get yourself checked out if anything similar is going on.
No. 547805
>>547802Anon, that is just horrible. And scary, I am sure. I would assume that you’re not super old judging by you posting on here (though I could be wrong) which hopefully means you will make a recovery.
Recently got a CT scan because I lost my vision, and the doctor was scared. Nothing wrong in the brain that they could see, but scared the living shit out of me.
I am sending you e-love. I am sure you’re scared/upset right now.
If I could post emojis here, I would post lots of hearts.
No. 547815
>>547810They believe what they are doing is ~Real Sex Work~ while being nestled all comfortably in their own corner, no one's pressuring them into doing what they're doing, it's all fine and dandy, and then they act like they can speak over the experiences of millions of young women and
victims of sex work who aren't in that business
willingly or had to go as low as that because they simply had no other option.
No. 547830
>>547810They are often extremely arrogant and smug people who have a superiority complex over selling nudes and masturbation videos, but at the same time they cry about how dangerous sex work is and they could be murdered at any time. They don't give a fuck about the women trafficked and forced into prostitution, they only care that paypal is whorephobic for not wanting to take their transactions.
I've seen them justifying the use of "civilians" as "people who do not work in the same field as yours" (that's so dumb, I'm not going to call people who are not watchmakers civilians lmao). I feel there's a lot of class contempt when they use this word, the vast majority of them are upper middle class who have no idea how real prostitution happens.
No. 547863
>>547810I take issue with the word "sex work" because it lumps middle class girls doing camshows in with women who were trafficked into prostitution. Being a cammer is fine if that's what you want to do, but I don't like when they act oppressed. Oh wow, you lay on your soft bed in your safe home and play video games with your tits out, poor you.
I've never heard of this "civilians" shit before, but just the idea of it pisses me off. My dad is disabled veteran, and
he doesn't even talk like that. Even ironically it's cringey as hell to imply that titty streaming is on the same level of difficulty and trauma as being in the military lmao fuck off.
No. 547930
File: 1588280387203.gif (283.34 KB, 500x255, 4958585.gif)
I'm getting gut instincts about someone I met online and going forward with the relationship as we've planned it. Our plans got pushed back due to covid so I'm just seeing more of what he's like from a distance now. He's been very up front and honest with me, and I don't want to discourage that per se. I just suspect he's maybe unstable or immature, even though there's concrete proof he is working towards self-improvement (therapy+meds that I see him take). And why? Eh, it's the more I find out. We had a chat earlier and he sounded really bummed. Apparently he's on his parent's cell phone plan (not necessarily a neg as long as he gives them money) but the creepy part is that his mom looked through the phone records and saw his call and text history with me and so they got into an argument over it. He told me his mom is super critical of women he dates from being burned fairly badly in the past. Even though I understand cause my mom is like that as well, it is also the reason why I don't have contact with her because I'm my own adult with boundaries. He's 30 and I'm late 20s. Why is a grown ass man taking shit like that about his own business and then telling me about it like there's nothing he could have done? Does he wanna marry me or is he married to his mom? He claims his entire family is pretty critical (again, something I understand bc my family are a bunch of hypercritical narcs too) but at some point I do expect a man to grow a spine. If I grew one and went temporarily homeless for it, then so can he.
Other things aren't quite adding up either. He's a freelance editor but the clients and projects he describes are pretty amateur. Like one of the things he does is edit essays for college students. While it's legit work at the same time it doesn't seem super successful and luxurious income. I did the same thing in college and I could probably do it right now, but the money tends to be garbo. It's all sus because he keeps flexing this ability to want to buy a house in my state (and he's boasted about being able to throw down a few hundred thousands) and yet he wants a mortgage. Maybe it's not so sus because he claims to be economical and I am aware investment-wise to the downsides of paying all cash on a house, but my question is: Where does a freelance editor come upon all this money? He tells me he used to be a streamer, but there's no way he was that popular. My suspicion is that he's some kind of trust fund child to a rich family who's being overprotective of their son bc of the financial risk, or he's got an inheritance and they're overprotective blahblahblah. For all I know, maybe his exes did take him for a ride and his family is right to be wary of his choices. Why else would they give a fuck about who he dates and calls? One thing I was looking forward to in my next serious relationship was having the guy's side of the family love me (bc my own family doesn't), and yet now I'm put off because I'm already being pegged as some she-demon trying to get at their son. And that pisses me off because I'm an adult with my shit together, and do not deserve that kind of pre-judgment from people who don't even know me. I hope I'm not overreacting, but this can't be right, no? Whatever they said and yelled at him about it must've been pretty bad bc he avoided telling me what exactly they said, which I'm sure whatever they did was very unfair and baseless. He even felt criticized too.
Lolcow, I'm just so exasperated. I'm trying to be really choosy and picky this time about who I'm going to have a long term and meaningful relationship with and it's just been hot garbage. Luckily I've gotten better at spotting red flags, but this one is particularly upsetting because he has truly been very nice, communicative, and kind to me the likes of which I've never experienced before even in the many dates and relationships I've had. I'm not asking for perfection from anybody, but it's like unless women lower their standards and open themselves for potential pain, most relationships with men really can't work. I feel like I'm forced to constantly accept risks and take compromises, and from my history it has rarely ended well for me so I just don't. I'm really disappointed.
If you feel like I'm overreacting please talk me down with some reason because believe me I don't want to feel this way.
No. 547942
>>547930I'm actually making a face after reading half of that post. Ok, why the frick is his mom going through his call records at
30 years old? Whatt??
Yeah I don't think you should pursue a relationship with him unless he is able to move away from his mom because this sounds unhealthy.
(
reads the rest)
Unless you have any real confirmation of his supposed money (yes, wanting a mortgage while also apparently having 100,000s saved is supicious) I wouldn't assume the weird family has any real justification. If they are so rich he should have paired up with a fellow rich chick by now, why is he picking up women on the internet?
It seems likely there is some spare money from his parents, definitely not himself, but you will never see any of that money based on the controlling parents aspect - meaning if you bought a house together it would be a mortgage and your own savings and whatever small amount he has. The parents are controlling him with the money as the carrot.
It sounds like a bit of a garbage fire but it could be rescued if he is willing to extract himself from the parental assistance. It seems a lil creepy to me though and I suspect there's a lot he isn't telling you. Being left guessing is not a good start to a relationship.
No. 547949
File: 1588285298336.jpg (15.53 KB, 300x226, concept5-300x226.jpg)
Because of the pandemic, I had to move back in with my mom. She has three dogs, and they really annoy and overwhelm me. I feel bad because I don't necessarily dislike dogs. But living with three big dogs fucking sucks. They slobber all over me, I'm constantly tripping over them because of how closely they follow, they're constantly sticking their noses up my ass, and they always mob doorways so you can't get through. I'm also allergic to dogs, so their scratches give me hives. Then when I get angry at the dogs for being obnoxious, my mom gives me a dirty look or goes "aww, poor dogs." Why am I the bad guy when she can't keep her animals under control? I like dogs, but I'm realizing that I hate living with them.
Okay, I know people hate this sort of discussion, but I don't want to Necro the containment thread.
No. 547952
>>547930Mate just because you’ve never been with someone who’s nice to you before doesn’t mean they won’t lie or fuck you over sooner or later. I’m sorry but frankly I’d guess he has no money at all and from what it sounds like still lives at home(?), because what kind of have their shit together-adult let’s their parents pay for their phone?
If your gut tells you something is wrong, it’s probably right. Please look out for yourself.
No. 547956
>>547930Well my gut is telling me to tell you to listen to your own intincts and move on. Don't just ignore shit and pretend like you have to settle for this.
>but it's like unless women lower their standards and open themselves for potential pain, most relationships with men really can't work. I feel like I'm forced to constantly accept risks and take compromisesYou maybe need to stay single for a while and clear your mind of this. You sound way too desperate for a relationship, in a mental state like this you'll cling to any crappy relationship for too long and only end up wasting your own time and energy
No. 547961
>>547942>The parents are controlling him with the money as the carrot.Exactly, they sound like the controlling in-laws from hell. Anyways, I wound up texting him about some of the feelings I discussed in my OP and he's reassuring me that his parents are only being so protective because he did have shit exes that sent him into a mental spiral which explains the meds and therapy. But still, I just expect certain behaviors from adult men. It's not like I've made giant sacrifices and huge emotional investment from having this little relationship, but I certainly wouldn't want to set myself up for failure if I choose to go through with it. I encouraged him to have firmer boundaries (and I think it's fair coming from me because my parents would have continued to be control freaks and nasty to my partners as well) and he agreed to that.
>>547952He's giving them money but I agree the situation is off so unless I see some drastic moves for independence I think I'll peace out tbh.
>>547956Promise I'm not going to ignore or settle for any kind of mistreatment. I've been single for almost two years now. I've been on numerous dates however and none of them have turned out for me for the fact that I wasn't chasing, settling, and ignoring red flags.
At this point if I did feel like I was getting the short end I would legitimately dip. It's not necessarily hurting me to tell him what's up to see if he'll get his shit together. What with quarantine it's not like we're going to be meeting up and closing on a house anytime soon anyway. I don't have anything to physically lose and I haven't sunken any costs into this. I'd just hate to have hurt feelings if it did turn out to be a shitshow. We'll see I guess.
No. 547969
>>547961Even if he has controlling parents, at 30 that's totally on him if he's still that tied to them by needing them in those ways. If he was 20 and in that situation I'd cut him some slack but not at 30. Also consider that he's quick to highlight his parents faults, his exes faults etc.. but look at his position in life right now. He might just be one those guys who blames everyone around him for his own lack of acheivement at 30..40. You date him and you'll be next at taking the blame.
>he's reassuring me that his parents are only being so protective because he did have shit exes that sent him into a mental spiral which explains the meds and therapy..
>It's all sus because he keeps flexing this ability to want to buy a house in my state (and he's boasted about being able to throw down a few hundred thousands) and yet he wants a mortgage. Maybe it's not so sus because he claims to be economical and I am aware investment-wise to the downsides of paying all cash on a house, but my question is: Where does a freelance editor come upon all this money?He's feeding you shit
No. 547994
>>547978Once a meme has a subreddit purely dedicated to that singular meme it's dead. I felt like the whole 'Karen' thing was dying then the dumbass who tweeted about it being a slur gave it a second wind.
I don't give a shit about whether or not 'Karen' or 'ok boomer' are mean I'm just so sick of people thinking they're hilarious by using them as gotchas after anytime some old person says something stupid.
No. 548001
File: 1588299371943.jpg (38.24 KB, 500x750, b3834c7d5e297c9ad570204e441def…)
i resent my parents for letting cats go outside whenever they want and roam freely. i know that we had some stray cats before and they're used to staying outside but every cat turns into an outside cat here. they tell me that cats should be free and that's their nature but a lot of them have disappeared or died. every time i see one of them i feel the need to bring them back in and they get annoyed at me. i had one of most beautiful tuxedo cats ever and he was very tame, his name was Hiro. me and my mom found him on the streets. one afternoon he disappeared and we even put up missing cat posters we didn't find him. idk if it's true but a guy said he might have been killed by dogs. i remember crying and feeling angry at everyone. now i have two cats that stay together all the time and get along very well but i still fear something might happen to them. i hate this.
pic related is a cat that looks like Hiro but he was cuter and had a little 'mole' under his mouth. i miss him.
No. 548014
File: 1588302046269.jpg (108.65 KB, 967x966, 1557978586687.jpg)
>>547640God, I feel the fucking same. Thought I was the only one, for some reason. I guess I can't get into "vidya" because I see it as a huge waste of time for the most part, especially when I KNOW i have 10 more hobbies I have more fun with and that evolve a skill/create something. EVERYONE I meet plays at least 5 games, and most of the time, about 60% of it, my friends will start talking about them incessantly and I'll have nothing to add. It's like half of all social interactions you have nowadays require you to play at least Siege or Dead By Daylight, or whatever - like I said, i don't know diddly squat.
Thing is, I know I'm a bothersome killjoy when I talk about games in this manner, and most of the time, I don't care about my friends talking about something that brings them happiness. But MAN, people can talk a LOT about stuff that, honestly, I don't find a lot of use in. These thoughts probably stem from a feeling that the humanities, which i guess i associate my interests with, are becoming less and less relevant in modern society and I'm scared of being the stereotyped "actually pretty educated philosophy student who works minimum wage" character, or anything like that.
If someone's willing to convert me into someone who enjoys vidya, at least, in good measure, I'd be glad. I actually enjoy some video essays on the medium, I just fucking hate not being part of the conversation because im a sour bitch.
I'll take a chill pill now.
No. 548067
>>548014>see it as a huge waste of time for the most partIt really is. I can't relate to adult men spending hours everyday to play some rpg or shooter and then argue about waifus or whatever they argue about.
Which is weird, cause im fine with wasting time watching tv series I like, or reading trashy novels, but gaming is so pointless, idk
No. 548112
>>548105I do this all of the time. I am emotionally exhausted, especially given the current state of the world.
It doesn’t take effort to shitpost. It takes effort to respond to texts, even if it’s small.
I don’t owe you all of my free time. Easy.
No. 548123
File: 1588336783182.png (247.97 KB, 580x502, 1587638011210.png)
My appearance is so tremendously upsetting to me. I wish everyone I know could forget what I look like. I just want to have pictures taken of myself when I'm having fun to post on Instagram but I look so disgusting.
I feel like I have genuinely deluded myself into believing what I look like in my inner world is what others see, and when I'm shown pictures of myself, the reality of my appearance, I'm shattered.
No amount of weight loss, skin care, or styling can save me. I wish I could care less about it.
No. 548130
File: 1588338529330.gif (4.2 MB, 638x360, 280CC68A-01FB-4BC2-8FF7-0D9D02…)
Running on little sleep. Paranoia soon hitting on a 8/10. Whenever I close my eyes, I see eyes staring at me. Really want to get help but then if I get help, they'll also come for my ass and I can't escape. They're going to get past security.
Perhaps I'm not even paranoid, just anxious. Either way, people are probs gonna kill me. Have this quirky meme to dance with.
No. 548134
>>547930Welp, I asked him dead on where the money is coming from because I knew he wasn't making that kind of money with freelance. He fessed up that it was indeed an inheritance (siblings all each getting 20% from a rich family member so ~$600K per). Explains why he's sheltered. This is totally believable to me btw because I dated an ex years ago who inherited $80k, but he blew through it in less than two years. Men are fucking stupid with money, especially the money they didn't earn themselves.
I'm gonna really vet because I don't think he knows how to make it stretch, and in post-covid economy I'm sure investing will be an even more complicated shitshow. He didn't even know that the more money put down on a house, the less the monthly mortgage will be for a certain percentage . And if he didn't know the basics like that then it's no wonder he thought not putting down more is a-ok, but at least he admit he didn't really know what he was doing house hunting.
So here's the thing, I'm okay with knowing all this and I'm okay with a small mortgage. Right now I'm paying almost $1k to live in a shit ass apartment and that's after splitting it with a roommate, whereas a house mortgage around here unsplit (for a very nice home might I add) rarely goes over $1.5k but obviously most people don't have over a half million as a down so it could be cheaper than that. Split between both of us if both of our names would be on property, it would be cheaper for me to live and I'd get a better quality of life. I do want a house, I just have no rich family who would ever give me dick.
But he'd have to get better job prospects than freelance if I'm going to take him seriously. It's all well and good to buy a house but I think the reason why he wanted to take out such a big mortgage to begin with it because he wanted more spending money in his pocket (maybe I'm projecting but the same thoughts would've crossed my mind too). Thing is, I wouldn't agree to slave away more at my job just so he can have the spending money. The worst mistake I've seen anyone do with an inheritance is live underemployed and beyond their means, and I wouldn't want to have to slave away in order to support this guy even if the house would be theoretically paid off. Living is expensive in general.
Anyways, thanks for listening to my suitor problems.
No. 548139
>>548137How'd you read it like that? No. I'm saying I'm okay with splitting the mortgage but beyond that he needs reasonable employment. Copy editing freelance doesn't pay squat and I know that because it's what I used to do too. There's still such things as utilities, household maintenance, groceries, etc. and if he wants things like children as he's said then the reality is a couple hundred thousand dollars isn't going to go a long way if he intends to live on it while being underemployed.
What happens when his money runs out and he's still underemployed? I pick up the slack, and I'm not doing that for a man, especially if kids are in the picture because we all know women are more burdened in domestic management already.
No. 548143
File: 1588341910937.jpg (29.76 KB, 642x644, 1585173099750.jpg)
My mother is so annoying. Fuck. I've been working 11 hour shifts all week, barely getting any sleep, and now she is having a mental breakdown because ~I'm cooped up in my room and don't get enough fresh air~. C'mon, it's my day off, just let me rest. I'm considering moving out, especially because I pay all the bills and I pay for all groceries anyway. I would save so much money if I didn't have to pay for her. She literally comes to my room every 30 minutes complaining about me. Fuck.
No. 548144
File: 1588341950499.jpg (207.8 KB, 1122x938, 1583195203948.jpg)
my mother be like: our daughters are gonna take care of my husband and i when we are old and cannot barely speak and are shitting our adult diapers due poor age and if they don't then they will burn in the deepest depths of hell for mistreating us and they're the worst children to ever exist and a huge disappointment to the family but if my son wants to do whatever he wants then he can because my son is such a good person and i love him No matter what !!!1!!111!!1!!1!!!!111
then she wants to get fucking offended when my sister calls her sexist and that she favors her son over us because he's a man and we're a bunch of women who need to be wed and birth her grandchildren, that's literally our only purpose in her eyes
also made this shitty low quality meme while crying my eyes out from anger
No. 548151
>>548144Ugh, this is why I'm glad my mother never had children after me because had she had a son, the favoritism for males would've really been brought out of her. She was the eldest of my grandparent's trio of children and the only girl, so her mentality was largely shaped by the way my sexist grandparents made her the nannyslavemaid to my slovenly spoilt uncles.
Thankfully she never pushed me for children or marriage because she didn't want me to fall back on her for financial support like she had to with her parents–and let's face it that's her own selfish reason and not because she actually cares about me there lol. Still she's always been incredibly sexist from the way I dressed to the way I conducted myself in public. Tons of outdated dating adages, the worst one was when she'd compare me to a cow if she knew I was having premarital sex. She'd say "Why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free?" I just can't imagine saying something so disgusting to my own daughter as if she's a barnyard animal to be bid and sold. And then she'd yell at me for having low self-esteem as if I didn't see her nitpick herself and other women but never men for years. Reminds me of mormons and how they compare non-virgin women to used gum and ask the males if they'd want to chew used gum or new gum.
Oh and of course my mom expects me to wipe her poopy old ass but she should've thought about that before she was a bitch to me all my life.
No. 548157
>>548074>They're a bona fide form of artYou know, on an intellectual level, I think I know that, too. But i've rarely seen any indie titles that really get me interested. I like the concept of Papers, Please, for example. I've seen Hbomberguy's review on Pathologic an i've really enjoyed it, but i'd never play it myself. I did like the overall concept though, and might even get Pathologic 2. Because it's not like video games are bad in themselves, I just haven't seen any that I really think are… good?
Half of the rant I was complaining about not fitting in because i cant into videogame, lmao. It's more like I'm a little salty at the fact you almost HAVE to play some vidya to fit in with my peers. It's a childish complex I really need to get over.
>>548067>Which is weird, cause im fine with wasting time watching tv series I like, or reading trashy novels, but gaming is so pointless, idkYeah, that's also a contradiction I found in myself.
No. 548176
File: 1588348438625.jpg (Spoiler Image,631.49 KB, 1674x941, 49f.jpg)
I just learned about the Last of Us 2 leaks and holy shit it's such a glorious shitshow.
>Disgruntled employee leaks the upcoming game's plot complete with video footage
>The game was heavily marketed with a woke lesbian couple last fall, one of the women being the protagonist of the game
>Turns out an extremely masculine female character (rumored to be a MTF but not confirmed because the character model is 100% male not even in an ironic sense) brutally kills the lesbian couple and takes over the main protagonist role, the villains are a group strongly implied to be the stand-in for homophobic christians
>People get mad over abusing the "bury the gay" trope yet again despite relying so much on a lesbian couple for the initial marketing while trannies are mad about how muh representation of trans wymmyn is transphobic even though the character isn't even confirmed to be trans
>Naughty Dog (the developer) confirms the leaks are legit
>The lead developer of the game starts blocking everyone on Twitter who berates them for the plot choices
>As an additional bonus there are more leaks that Naughty Dog made the female characters masculine on purpose in order not to hurt snowflake feelings and one of the voice actors who had worked for the studio (Troy Baker?) said that "knowing the studio he could believe that this is the case" or something along those lines, also 70% of the dev team quit
Pic related, it's the implied tranny. I love reading about shitty game studios imploding by desperate pandering after years of treating their employees like expendable work horses.
No. 548178
File: 1588349481175.jpg (Spoiler Image,125.29 KB, 998x748, EWpXqbQXsAI7Ize.jpg)
>>548177The rabbit hole just goes deeper. Neil Druckmann, the creative director and lead writer of tLoU2 apparently bullied Amy Hennig, one of the most celebrated female writers of the industry, out of the company while abusing its workers. How woke!
No. 548184
>>548176This was discussed in the /m/ vidya thread
>>>/m/39880 fyi but yeah.
No. 548186
File: 1588350335336.jpg (139.88 KB, 1300x866, impliedtrannyaccordingtogamurs…)
>>548176I'm sick of people shitting themselves because that girl character isn't fappable.
Like say what you will about the writing of what happens to the main cast but let's not pretend like if they made that character hot with confirmed lady dick status that any one of those cucked gamer faggots would care. Big fucking tantrums about what's basically storytime. Idiots.
No. 548189
File: 1588350751285.png (410.31 KB, 442x750, c825e3cc599d434ae965c3c9d6abfa…)
>>548186That's obviously not a girl. Kaine in Nier Gersalt is intersex with confirmed dick. Game still has a amazing storyline. Heather from Silent Hill 3 isn't fappable either.
They made women masculine because they're trying to normalize that trannies don't pass. Why are feminine features offensive?
No. 548199
File: 1588351327942.jpg (117.72 KB, 972x1390, Impliedtrannyelectricboogaloo.…)
>>548189>that's obviously not a girlI have multiple examples of athletic women with buzz cuts. Why can't you accept that some women actually do look like this and are very masculine?
STOP assuming cumbrain males are offended for the same reasons you are. It's not that they're opposed to trannies and worry about feminine representation like you do, they're angry because this character isn't hot and they won't cum to it. That's why other canon trannies in games get no shit, because they're designed like hot women with gravity tits and feminine faces. There's tons of representation of women with feminine features in games because that also is what gets the most dicks to tingle. You're acting like they're in short supply. In reality you're threatened by a woman character who looks masculine.
>>548194So there's zero chance for anything but soft feminine uwus characters now because anything else is gonna be said to be tranny pandering. Got it. What a great leap forward for women!
No. 548205
File: 1588351590157.png (270.15 KB, 639x679, stop.png)
>>548199>Why can't you accept that some women actually do look like this and are very masculine?lmao anon the character is literally a
mtf troon son of the surgeon from the first game that was killed but keep sperging about shit you obviously know nothing about, considering what the leakers, former directors, and development team have shown us.
>In reality you're threatened by a woman character No. 548214
>>548205>no I insist this character is MtF lmao!!!!!! Okay. Point still stands and you hate this: Cumbrain males don't care about your precious tranny opposition and feminine representation. They are pissed because they will not cum to this character who also happens to fuck up their idealistic macho-buff ragtag main character from the first game, and their all grown up pedobait.
But sure, this is actually about game dev politics and marketing because companies neverrrrrrrrrrrrrr pander for money. You tart.
No. 548218
>>548211>buffmakes no sense
>transitionapparently her dad was a surgeon so maybe that's how? it's still retarded and a stretch and nagl considering abby liveleaks the two lesbians
No. 548220
File: 1588352407847.webm (Spoiler Image,2.9 MB, 854x480, 1588271458596.webm)
>>548214>They are pissed because they will not cum to this character who also happens to fuck up their idealistic macho-buff ragtag main character from the first gameBecause people totally jerked off to Joel? Damn you're really reaching.
>and their all grown up pedobait.None of the backlash about the leaks is about Ellie, but rather the direction of the plotline and the fact it isn't actually focusing on the virus, retard.
>because companies neverrrrrrrrrrrrrr pander for money. So you genuinely think they're pandering to swole buff butch women? Keep on with the delusion.
No. 548225
>>548220>Because people totally jerked off to Joel? No, they identified with Joel which fed their ego.
They jerked off to Ellie who was a little girl and also a lesbian who would never want anything to do with disgusting make gamers if she were a real person.
It's okay that Ellie was a cute lesbian and not an ugly one so they could still have fantasies about wanting to force themselves on her and rape her
which happens in game as you ought to be aware.
>what do you think game devs actually care to represent butch women? Lmao I am under no such delusion, companies HATE unconventional and unfeminine women.
This is precisely why the tyranny pandering didn't work in this case, because they should have made the tranny stupidly hot (as if tiddy implants and fillers exist in a post-zombie world lelelel) instead of trying to blur the lines trying to market for unpassing trannies and unfeminine women because conventionally ugly doesn't sell and it upsets people. Get it? Which is why greasebeards tolerate hot feminine trannies in their animus and porn but not masculine ones ever.
No. 548231
>>548225>This is precisely why the tyranny pandering didn't work in this caseSo you admit you don't actually know what you're talking about and now you're doubling down because you look dumb as hell. Thanks for owning up to this being a troon tho.
>>548224It really depends on the context, the word itself doesn't offend me.
No. 548233
>>548225Lol, gamers are totally right to be angry at the character that butchered the characters they've grown attached to, and aside from /tttt/ 4chan really hates trannies.
The backlash is more against the company that made their employees suffer anyway, not against "ugly women" or whatever.
No. 548275
>>548237You weren't called a troon, they're talking about the character. Stop being retarded and learn to read.
>>548143Maybe she's just worried about you. I get it though, seems rough.
No. 548292
>>548067but watching tv shows is equally pointless…
anyway imo it's not wrong to waste your time on watching tv or gaming but keep it to an hour or so max. a day. Don't waste hours on a daily base on it. Unfortunately most people can't do that. Of course they're made to be addicting..
No. 548328
>>548306 >I have a younger sibling 4 years younger than me and i feel the difference, but it isn't too badMy one brother is 5 years older than me and was always a fairly independant kid and out of the house most of the time. I felt more like an only child growing up but I'm embarrassed telling people that cos 5 years shouldn't really cause all that distance? We're strangers as adults
Someone in my family had her first baby at 19, her next at 29 and her next at 40.. all different dads too so I often wonder how they'll be affected
No. 548387
File: 1588375665890.jpeg (10.28 KB, 299x299, T6RXEue.jpeg)
>>548363Addendum: She just messaged back and said it was the reject code. This is either some 4D chess tier mindfuck shit to throw me off their trail, or
she was actually incompetent the entire time.
What an emotional rollercoaster. I clearly overestimate the wit and intelligence of my superiors. I'm going to have a drink and submit a few job applications. Maybe they're not cunts after all, just idiots.
No. 548561
>>548140this is a sign that you are not happy with your current life. if you were, you would feel fulfilled and your thoughts would be more future-oriented. instead you're stuck in the past, maybe you're searching the reason why you're unhappy today. i would definitely advise against texting those friends too, if you have not spoken to them in a long time. chances are they have moved on and have their own lives, therefore they're not going to think of you as anything more than a random schoolmate. you're just going to end up feeling sadder and more insecure.
sorry if i made too many assumptions but yeah, i sometimes feel exactly like you do and this is my reasoning to stop myself from doing the same.
No. 548586
File: 1588406308405.jpeg (39.53 KB, 521x428, F1C9477F-1DDC-4DE0-9412-75995E…)
I really wish I could buy a pet like a bunny or fish (I’ve cared for them in the past) but I’m already overwhelmed with schoolwork and constantly tired so I know it wouldn’t be a good idea. Maybe one day or if I get into a better place…
No. 548594
>>548516I feel personally called out cuz my ex had BPD lol. But like
>>548584said, it's probably because our imageboard just attracts a type.
No. 548605
File: 1588410957518.png (374.81 KB, 500x479, 5074114E-380F-47D2-AEB6-50E84F…)
I'm struggling with self love
All of that advice telling you to focus on your small achievements, or times you felt happy, or what you love in yourself, but I cannot manage to conjure this love out of nothing. How can i start respecting and loving myself if i was never loved and respected by anyone else? I can tell myself that i love myself, but don't believe it, it's a foreign concept to me, i can't imagine feeling it
I've been trying to fit in for so long, but i only end up as a third wheel, or left out and ignored. Shit gave me paranoia tier abandonment and trust issues, i know that i probably act inadequate if people react this way, but i can't tell where i am wrong, i'm so lost lol. it feels unironically scary, like how out of touch i am? i'm trying to understand then why i still am the clown?
i hate beautiful and successful popular people so much, if in the past i could look at them and say, hey i could try being more like them, now i can only seethe at how easy they get the attention i have to beg for. I want someone to reach out to me too, i want someone to care, i want to be able to be picky with people, i want to be able to hurt them or to uplift them, i want to have friends, parties, messy dramas, i want people to listen to me, instead i'm just here alone and it's been going for years i'm losing it, i hate everyone so much, how do i snap out of it? how do i feel like im worth anything, i just want to be in control like a normal person for once
Yeah maybe that is an overdramatic post, but i'm so frustrated, i'm trying to improve, where are the results?
No. 548623
>>548612That's my main issue, i do all of that and it doesn't work. I see people progress, but i'm stuck, despite the goals i achieve, and hobbies or skills i improve, and that i constantly reach out to people and act nice to them, but i get zero feedback, and it makes me mad. I care about people and validate them and interact with them and make the first steps, why won't they fucking care back? cant believe it, everyone out making money off tiktok with their hundreds of insta followers willing to simp for them and i cant get a fucking text? after ages of investing in relationships? why not ask how i'm doing or idk invite me somewhere? i reach out to people, when will they reach out to me
No. 548639
>>548637I think we seek validation from other people because even when we know we do this or that right, it’s not the same when someone tells you how good it is, it’s fake but it feels you more empowered.
The main problem I see is your insecurity about yourself, you think you’re not good at anything and you search validation on other people but deep down you must be projecting your insecurities hence that’s why people can’t “appreciate” you.
I think you should change your POV about yourself first and start from there.
No. 548649
>>548516Maybe more people come from
abusive circumstances than what they would openly admit irl, but because this place is anonymous it's easier to write out the truth.
No. 548650
>>548649maybe but I feel like most of the anons here kind of seem like they are the
abusive circumstance…idk a lot of posts here, especially to the extent they are seem unbelievable and I feel like it's just statistically impossible everyone in your life has a severe personality disorder and/or is a paedophile and you are simply the innocent
victim No. 548661
Looking back at how britney spears was treated when she was younger.
She was pretty, white and blonde yet society still hated her….is it possible not to be hated as a woman?
Interviewers talked to her like she was pure evil back then and like shes not a girl in her early 20s with no life experience…I didnt notice when i was young now I see how gross people were. In both of these videos she wasnt older than 25 lol. In the second video the interviewer had the nerve to imply shes old at 24 lmao
https://youtu.be/h_N2gmNEFKEhttps://youtu.be/GprUu55Z17Q No. 548668
File: 1588426722500.png (184.67 KB, 640x511, 1581289830168.png)
parents gave me up for adoption when i was thirteen but im still in contact with them and see them regularly (after years of difficult bullshit). Today is my mom's birthday and I'm going up to see her and I just do not want to. Im a grown-ass adult and should be able to put aside how she treated me as a kid but i just don't want to. Now that i've been in therapy I feel like Im never going to be able to believe that what happened was my fault. and it makes everything about our relationship that much harder.
No. 548670
File: 1588427398340.png (265.05 KB, 442x435, vineinspired.png)
>>548665The main thing is finding a style that flatters my fingers. I have tiny hands with short fingers so they're really chubby looking. I grow out my fingernails just to give them a bit of taper. While I love the look of halo rings, I don't think they would serve me well besides adding bulk to my already stubby digits. So I'm staying away from those and opting for more simple stone centers, maybe a detailed band perhaps? Although I'm not sure if the size of the ring would flatter my fingers one way or another at this point so maybe I should get what I want lel.
For gem cuts I would consider either oval, pear, or marquise. For some reason I feel a tapered gem like marquise cut might do my fingers a favor. I mean at least moreso than bulky cuts like emerald or cushion.
For band metal I was going to go with either platinum or white gold, as I don't think rose gold or yellow gold would flatter my skintone and they're not what I like at that. For band style I bounce between classic, vintage, and a natural or floral theme.
I have a preference for gems over diamonds. In part to not support the diamond industry but also because I think gems are more unique. Although I'm not opposed to ethically sourced diamond accents. So I was going to aim for a gem engagement ring and then perhaps my wedding band could be a diamond shadow contour to give it some flair.
Example, I loooooooooove pic related. But for a platinum band they're already asking for a lot of money. I found an oval cut gemstone that I would want on the ring instead of a diamond. Already that makes this ring awful close to $10k, but then to add a wedding band would absolutely make the set $10k. While he insists money is no object I still don't want to be perceived as greedy. Plus I don't know what wedding band style to settle on for this example. And again, I might face a bulkiness issue.
No. 548671
File: 1588427768194.png (240.15 KB, 441x441, marquise.png)
>>548670Then I found pic related which is much more realistic in both price-already half the cost of the first ring-and imo the style may flatter my fingers more. I do like the little hydrangea flowers on it, and I can see myself having an easier time picking out a wedding band for this one.
No. 548673
>>547547People are just annoyed at how cheap
Joel's death was and how fundamentally unsympathetic Abby's character is. The fireflies in general were incompetent idiots who wanted to cut a teenage girl's brain open after performing the same botched, useless surgery on another few people they killed beforehand. Screw them.I'm really mad about the spoilers, Joel was the ultimate fictional father figure.
No. 548675
>>548668You don't have to go see her if you don't want to anon.
What kind of parent even gives up a fucking teen for adoption? Did she say it was your fault?
No. 548678
>>548670>>548670I want a marquise cut too! They're so beautiful, dainty but still show off a little.
Imo a gem is kinda tacky but I'm pretty traditional on this topic. Lab grown diamonds are less expensive and almost indistinguishable from real ones tho, and of course way more ethical and eco-friendly.
I feel like $10k is the exact amount of not too much and not too little for engagement ring + wedding band, if your fiance says it's no problem go for it girl.
No. 548691
>>548667I want to tattoo this on my forehead, Anon.
They are all doing this for obvious big tiddy goth gf memes. People with no personality would pick up anything vaguely alternative and brag about being whatever happens to be trendy. Emos, punks, codplay, goths, etc
No. 548822
>>548812Maybe anons are just venting their raw, unfiltered thoughts that they can't say out loud or to anyone irl so to us it just sounds worse than it probably is? If anons have focus on something negative currently, then of course they're probably not going to make their post into a novel by including all the positive so it balances. It's a natural bias when they're writing an issue.
Like I've definitely posted bf problems here before, and sometimes a few anons have replied as if they're the worst when in reality I think anons read a bit too hard into the details at times and can only consider the bad as how I presented it–which I don't blame them for.
I stress this because I have irl friends like this who seem normal bit have confessed secrets to me about their relationships and families so wild that you'd think they'd get their own thread here on lolcow. People are prone to say more shit as anonymous, that's why it seems more common here.
No. 548841
>>548583This is a
valid point but so are the effects of narcissistic abuse. Narc moms try to stunt their children's maturity to the level of a teen (Eugenia for example) so they can continue to manipulate you and make it harder to obtain the skills necessary to be self-sufficient. But at some point you have to take accountability and leave the nest because 80% of parent problems can be solved by moving out lol
No. 548849
>>548824Youtube vids like '5 signs you know a narcissist' have become weirdly popular. And the people making them often have no training. I get that the intent is to educate people but 'educating' people on complicated mental disorders with a 5 min clip doesn't create great results.. reddit is full of those armchair posts too.
I mean I grew up feeling like the black sheep of my family but I see people watching these vids and reaching the conclusion that being the black sheep..equals coming from a whole family of covert narcs.
No. 548872
>>543190i keep on thinking about something that happened in january.
i was (and still am) depressed and i vented a little to a male online friend i had for years about how life is awful and i feel like a hedious monster and he said that im cute or some bullshit then in the same day/the day after he did a headshot drawing of me and said nothing other than 'i drew you', i was happy that he did it but it felt so backhanded because the drawing was so fucking ugly, it had all my flaws drawn in detail but everything else was half-assed, he drew my nose so horribly, and made sure all my blemishes are drawn he made me look like a literal 40 year old… i never knew other people noticed these flaws as well, i became even more insecure of taking selfies, and what boggles my mind is that the last time he drew me (which was in 2017) he made me look actually cute and it was out of nowhere and he uploaded it on his art account and titled it something nice but this year's is so different.
i don't think i've grown in an ogre in three years but it still made me sad that he probably looks at me that way.
No. 548907
I bought fabric to make fabric masks for my family and myself (4 of us) and spent a good chunk of yesterday patterning, cutting out the pieces, and started sewing a bunch. This entire time, since my mom saw the fabric came in earlier this week, my mom has been asking me like once or twice a day “are you making them? are you done yet?” and as I was making them yesterday asked “so I can give some to my friend right?” Today I did some other house chores and decided to take a break after I finished and eat a snack because my back was aching, and she comes in and asks AGAIN where the masks are. Well I was going to start in a couple of minutes but fuck that now.
I know I’m being petty and spiteful, but I wish she would chill the fuck out. No one in our family needs to go outside more than once or twice a week (though my parents sometimes do for god knows fucking what) and we still have disposable masks, so I wish she’d stop fucking rushing me!!! She got mad when I told I didn’t want to give her friend any because I hate her bitch of a friend, like do I look like some fucking sweatshop?!? I’m an amateur seamstress just doing something to be nice and to pass the time. I’m so peeved about being bothered about them CONSTANTLY. When I stopped for the day last night, I felt stressed but thought it was probably because I normally sew under stressful conditions (used to cosplay lol) but NO, it’s because my mom will not stop looming over me and hounding me about this shit.
No. 548909
>>548516I can see how people can exaggerate how bad their parents/boyfriends can be. However, I don't see the benefit of lying about it on an anonymous platform, considering many of those posts get over looked. I know for sure i haven't replied to a single one of those comments.
On a related note, how the fuck do some people just manage to run into hordes of scrotes all the time in fucking discord servers. I don't understand why they don't just immediately leave after seeing the one "huh duh i hate women" post, but instead they enage and get upset that scrotes behave like scrotes. I've personally joined a couple of discord servers and I have never seen scrote behaviour. Idk, maybe it's because i play games that inherently have larger female game bases. I also can never ever understand how people can bare to be in relationships with such people for extended periods of times, even the their partners scrote tendencies show themselves early in the relationship. I can't imagine feeling obligated to engage with scrotes at all. I strongly believe they are easy to avoid and if you enrage in them, i honestly believe you're honestly just looking for some sort of negative attention.
on an irrelevant point, I fucking hate people who rub in that they sleep in their makeup and shower themselves with dish soap and never get acne whenever you discuss your skin routine/ in skincare videos. They only do this to flex and make people feel bad. I really wish acne was truly caused by not washing your face.
No. 548911
File: 1588458005234.jpg (85.61 KB, 450x291, 1832287-bigthumbnail.jpg)
I gained so much weight over quarantine. My body doesn't look as chubby as it usually does at this weight, but I still feel disgusting and fat. I can tell my legs have blown up along with my chest and arms. I guess it could be worse, but I feel really sad because I had worked so hard to lose weight and got to my lowest weight, then the virus hit. I'm starting a diet tomorrow and I'm hoping it will end up working for me. I've done it before so I'm sure I can do it again. But I'm also nervous that I won't lose weight and I'm too far gone and am stuck being a chubby little pig. I think I'm roughly the size of pic related but with a lot more flab and I hate it, but I know most people would still view me as thin. It sucks that I can't exercise due to health issues so it feels like this flab will never go away unless I'm nothing but skin and bones.. I hate it. After growing up a fat kid and bullied by my mother my whole life it's hard to view myself as even remotely thin. I'm seriously hoping I can get this quarantine weight off. I want to wear cute clothes for the summer..
No. 549077
I don't know what the fuck happened to the term "introvert" within the past 5 or so years, but suddenly, everyone and their fucking grandmother thinks that they're an introvert and claims that literally ANYTHING involving interacting with other people that they don't want to do/don't like to do, is due to them being an introvert.
One of my professors, who is extremely talkative, loud and has a super bubbly personality, said the other day that she gets nervous giving presentations at conferences where she doesn't know anybody "because I'm an introvert." So…being nervous in a high-pressure situation makes you an introvert and not just, you know, a normal fucking person. Okay.
Had another professor claim that he doesn't easily relate to other people and that he doesn't like most people "because I'm an introvert." No, you're a fucking elitist misanthropist. Anyone can be that. It has nothing to do with extroversion/introversion.
Best one I heard recently was "I learn better from textbooks as opposed to lectures because I'm an introvert." I don't even know where to start with this except what in the fuck does ANY OF THAT HAVE TO BE WITH BEING A RESERVED AND GENERALLY QUIET PERSON WHO LOSES ENERGY FROM BEING AROUND PEOPLE FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME.
Ffs, I'm not an introvert myself and this shit still annoys the piss out of me. Literally EVERYONE needs some form of downtime regardless of whether they're introverted or extroverted. EVERYONE can get nervous around people given the appropriate context. Hell, you can REGULARLY be nervous in social situations and still not necessarily be an introvert. Fun fact: extroverts can suffer from generalized anxiety, which can be applied to virtually every context in their lives! Extroverts can also have shitty upbringings, be abused, be bullied, etc, which can color their perception of other people and make them misanthropic. Having trauma, anxiety, depression, etc, does not magically make you an introvert.
Tbh, if you're going around finding arbitrary reasons to tell people why you're an introvert, I'm gonna say the chances of you actually being an introvert are pretty slim, given that you're basically just finding any fucking excuse to talk about your damn self which, shockingly, is NOT something actual introverts make a habit of doing.
No. 549315
File: 1588504875840.jpeg (6.2 KB, 119x120, 9587948E-FA76-4E7A-8EB0-031F97…)
I met someone on here in late 2018 and they helped me so much. We talked almost every day. In late 2019 they never came online again. I miss you J and I hope you’re okay. Posting this because maybe she will see this…
No. 549340
File: 1588510831944.jpg (178.56 KB, 431x480, 1583569163426.jpg)
I know it's covid summer but bitch, the absolute state of lolcow rn
Although these days with the way it's run, this place deserves whatever happens to it
No. 549353
This is such a mundane vent but whatever…I'm living with my ex till the end of quarantine, we do a good job of getting on but ugh this bitch. So I mentioned his hygiene is lacking (in a nice way, and it was warranted, he hadn't washed in a while) and his response wasn't to change or put on deoderant, but just go out. Anyway so I asked him if he wanted to do our exercises earlier today, and he's like no, I ask what time and he said 19:00. But after I made that comment and his walk he told me he's going to do those exercises now (15:00), catching me totally off guard and he said I can either join him right now or not. The whole point is we undertook it together, if I or he wasn't feeling good we'd put it off till the other could and till now managed to coordinate well. I hate that whenever I might offend him (which he'll just give no comment to by the way, and would rather silently resent me while not acknowledging anything), he finds some roundabout way to be inconsiderate or offensive or generally sucky in a way that I can't pull him up on (his defense would likely be "what, I asked you if you wanted to join me, you going to stop me exercising now?"). And I KNOW it was something he deliberately did to sort of push me one way or another but it's not provable in any way.
Again it's small but it makes me feel bad and frustrated, he deals with shit in such an unhealthy way and I compensate with the fallout, and can either start shit by saying "hey so why didn't you stick to the time we agreed" or I can ignore the behaviour. And yeah yeah, we're broken up. But its something I'd pull any friend up on too, and that's what we agreed to be at the moment.
No. 549384
File: 1588521816724.jpg (59.58 KB, 933x699, nootnoot.jpg)
My dad is a raging cheapskate and he won't buy me anything from the store despite me buying shared grocery shit all the time. He has a habit of calling me when he's there to say that magically the one thing I asked for doesn't exist, just because he doesn't want to spend the money. His lies go so far, from claiming he doesn't know what the item I asked for even is, to he can't find it, then it's out of stock, or there's conveniently different-yet-cheaper-albeit-vaguely-similar item to what I originally asked for so why not settle for that?
All I asked for was lox salmon for my breakfast bagels and some more whole wheat everything bagels of a specific brand that's usually there. Before he went I asked him if he knew what the item was to make sure he understood that I meant salmon lox for my bagels (no not raw salmon, no not a filet of wood smoked salmon, no not canned salmon, no not frozen salmon). I get it all the time and he sees the packages in the fridge. So he goes "Yeah the stuff in the package?" so I figured all's well and he knows. Welp, as old as time itself he calls me to disappointedly inform me there is none of my salmon except for what's in there packages. I ask him for a picture. He sends me a closeup shot of a raw filet of salmon in a package. I ask him to take the picture of the entire section so I could help him. He gets huffy and then takes an even bigger picture of the bottom shelf of raw packaged fish. He refused to take a picture of the top shelves where my lox packages would be right next to the imitation crabmeat, and he agitatedly growled how I needed to just listen and that he didn't see it in the top shelves so there.
Of course I told him to forget it then. He just saw the price of the package ($12) and determined it was too expensive. He's not poor, he's just cheap. For example he'll drive all over hell and go to more expensive stores to get his new girlfriend fresh expensive seafood so it's really about him not feeling he has to put that kind of effort towards me. At that I don't think $12 in the blue moon that I ask after buying hundreds of dollars that he partakes in consuming yeah nah this isn't asking for much.
Five minutes later he calls me to tell me that my bagels aren't there either, which I at least I could halfway believe and yet. I couldn't rely on him to buy me a nice version of a different brand because he'll always go for the cheapest option possible so it won't be good.
I wish he wouldn't even ask me if I want anything because 9 times out of 10 he won't follow through and he'll excusemake so I can't call him out for it. It's like he wants to be seen as a good guy without actually having to do anything.
No. 549390
>>549384Oh, anon. You just described my exact woes with my father. I also hate that whenever I'm shopping for groceries and he magically turns up at the same shop, he'll ask me if I could buy him just 2 or 3 things which turns out to be double that and about 1/3 or even 2/3 of my daily grocery budget. Whenever it's me asking for a favor, it's exactly as you described, he won't see the requested product which is usually always available or he will go for the cheaper brand that I don't even like or has shitty unhealthy ingredients which in turn makes him unreliable when it comes to grocery shopping so I stopped asking him to do anything related to it.
Yet my father has no problems munching "here and then" quality stuff that I buy but he would never buy it and replenish the storage. It got to a point where I have my own secret mini fridge and secret cupboard where I hide my food because I got fed up with his act. We're not poor either but for me, it's now a matter of principle.
He truly is a cheapskate and I can totally see why my mom got fed up with him and left him since she was also the primary person to buy groceries and he never appreciated it. He would scold her for spending a lot of money on groceries despite him being the biggest consumer.
No. 549398
>>549346God, I live in a big city and I fucking hate the cyclists, they are the worst. The streets there are old and narrow, so the setting the cycling lanes is dangerous and close to the cars. The cyclists never respect the red lights and stop signs because they think they are above the rules of the road, and they don't give a shit about other vehicles, especially buses. The worst are the ones cycling in pedestrian areas, they want to go fast but they can't, so they try to force themselves around the people without using the bell.
I have zero empathy for them and don't give a fuck if they get into an accident, same for kick scooter riders.
(I guess it's a symptom of capital inhabitants entitlement, because I know that in smaller towns and modern cities the roads and lanes are much better and the cyclists are more cautious).
No. 549414
>>549404This is probably going to sound awful, but I tell people that I physically could not carry a child full-term without risking both of our lives. No males really know enough about it to question it and if they truly want to be with you, they'll stay.
I don't want kids and I will straight up lie to protect that value.
No. 549444
>>549404Iktf. My boyfriend is ultra dad-tier and wants kids, but I'm pretty sure I don't. I'm not one of those child-free types, but I don't think I'd make a good mother. I'm impatient and bossy and I can't stand needy people. The idea of having to spend that much time focused on another person makes my skin crawl. I'm afraid having kids means I'll no longer have time for myself or my hobbies. I don't want to have to choose between having a career and having kids, but that seems to be the world we live in these days. A lot of my friends have had kids recently, and I think they look so sweet together, but the idea of doing the same just makes me uncomfortable. I can't see myself ever being ready for that level of responsibility.
I hate knowing that this may very well be a deal breaker for my bf, which sucks because I can definitely see myself marrying him.
No. 549458
File: 1588534815039.gif (2.1 MB, 140x134, 1505709057155.gif)
>>549455
>stay at home dad
>like how most women have it
No. 549473
>>549404>>549414I relate to you both so much. Currently I say that I don’t want kids because I have a history of anxiety and depression and don’t want to pass these traits down, which is 100% true, even though I have reasons that are more “selfish” such as liking my alone time and not wanting my body busted. I feel like people would even consider it selfish to say I don’t want kids because I’d be at a very high risk for postpartum depression.
To the ladder anon, I’ve considered doing exactly what you said, but I’m such a bad liar and would be deathly afraid of being caught. I’ve also considered getting my tubes tied and saying I was born infertile… I’m also afraid of my family or something refuting that one.
>>549444I feel like women on the fence about having kids or feeling pulled to do so by others should keep waiting it out and err on the side of not doing it. It’s just such a huge decision that you can’t go back on, with a lot of risks and what ifs.
I wouldn’t mind adoption nearly as much as giving birth, which might be a suitable compromise for some, but I would still get exhausted of parenting duties and the huge responsibility.
No. 549545
File: 1588543653180.jpg (57.48 KB, 640x626, 1587085508258.jpg)
>>549530If your thoughts are not consumed by children, raising children, preparing children, raising teens, preparing teens etc., do not have children.
I can't count the number of shitty, ambivalent, half assed parents that I know. I can't recall a single family that was truly devoted to their children, during all stages of their lives.
Most young couples idealize what a child will be like, but it's only a thought here and there. None of them put in the dedication and research into investigating child psychology or behaviors. Instead they'll fawn over baby clothes and other unimportant shit.
Think about that. They put in more time thinking about their theoretical baby's clothes than what that baby will be like 30 years down the line.
The fact is, most parents today have no business being parents. Having a child is creating a series of infinite consequences, most of which are negative or neutral at best. It's incredibly rare to find a family or children that have made a seriously positive impact on the world.
If you are anxious over the thought of having children, instead of excited and motivated to do hard research and planning, it clearly isn't for you.
No. 549584
File: 1588549673901.jpg (392.18 KB, 720x1280, Screenshot_20200503-184308_Tik…)
There's this tiktok user call lildevildesi and she's hilariously bad. She dresses herself like she's a toddler and has a bowl cut. She also shaved her eyebrows shorter for some reason. She's so bad at dancing it's honestly rage inducing. Before corona she'd film in the lobby of her theatre department (many times with random people standing or sitting in the background) or she'd film it in front of her school's elevators for some reason? Oh yeah she's literally 21. 21 years old and makes cringy dance tiktoks in public dressed like she's mentally impaired. She also makes a ton of woe is me tiktoks where she complains about haters making fun of her for making cringy serious tiktoks (talking about mental health). Not to mention all the people licking her asshole saying LeT hEr LiVe!!!! Like she'll suck their dick for it or something lol. Anyway I find her so cringy that it makes me angry. Like, I wish I could fucking bully her in real life. Yeah yeah yeah it's kinda fucked up but I cannot stand this bitch. In her bio she has "cutesy impish princess" like oh my god you aren't a teenager anymore YOU ARE 21. She calls herself alternative which is a lie since that implies she puts thought into her outfits. God I hate her.
No. 549592
>>549075He ate off a pot lid LMFAO. He wouldn't even grab a sponge and wash a plate, this man. When I woke up he started slamming doors and pulled out the entire bottom rack of the dishwasher and dropped it by my chair. Neither of us have said a single word to each other. He's 30 and he's been throwing a two day temper tantrum because he refuses to do a single chore when I'm too busy and exhausted. I wish I was a lesbian.
>>549065Oh I've definitely thought about destroying his things, but honestly it's more enjoyable to do what he wants in the most inconvenient and frustrating way possible. I want him to suffer long term. Maybe at some point he will see this situation is self imposed and get off his ass for once. Probably too optimistic.
No. 549717
>>549601We're both on the lease and as you might be able to tell he's the type of stubborn person that will say "no I'm not leaving". I'd have to get a restraining order or something but my life isn't in danger and I don't think it's worth lying about. I already talked to my landlord and he won't let me break the lease. It would ruin my credit if I left and this jackass got us evicted. I don't think I have any options. At least I've learnt a good lesson from this.
>>549588Topkek. I love you anon.
No. 549728
>>549716Just how many people did you think would have donated though? Dangling money towards a friend losing seems like such a fucked up idea. The only reason people chip in for charity fundraising is so that they don't look bad to their friends, but this looks kind of shitty.
Good luck on your fitness journey, this way you can take it at your own pace.
No. 549731
>>549719Hmm. I will look at the laws for my area. There's nothing about a fee in the lease, it just has a lease expiration and says I'm required to pay rent for the full term and he is allowed to kick me out if I stop paying. I hope I didn't sign a bad lease. This is my first time leasing. The landlord is a cold person and it sounded like he would evict me or sue me for missed dues when I spoke to him but maybe it was empty intimidation.
Pray for me anons. I don't want to be my boyfriend's mother anymore.
No. 549774
Just wanna vent. I want to cut ties with one of my "friends". In quotation marks because I don't even know if I can consider her as a friend anymore. I sometimes argue with my friends over the pettiest things, but when I argue with her, it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. We also have the same friend pool for the most part, so idk how to cut ties. I'm just so sick of her and her passive-aggressive jabs. I mean I'm no better since I sometimes do it, and I know that I'm a bad friend, but I want to take a gap year to work on myself, but this 'rona thing happened.
I know I'm selfish, I know I procrastinate a lot, I have a lot of bad things about me and I hate it, and I want to change for the better. I told her this and few other friends on why I want to take a gap year. I was in the middle of telling that shit and I was bawling my eyes out. Then she made it about herself on how she couldn't feel anything and just pretends to.
She's a better friend than me, I acknowledge that, but stop making things about yourself. Stop giving unsolicited advice. Stop trying to sound like you know everything all the time. These are just little things but it just piled on and I can't take her anymore.
She's a diy programmer, but all she did was google on how to fix it. One of my friends told me a secret (not that serious), then she butt in asking what it is. We both gave her hints, then she said she knows about it, then we said no she's wrong. I was showing my friends some… let's say, a video that contains shock value because I want to see how they would react, then she asked me if I think that it makes me special for liking those shit. No, it doesn't. You're not special for reading the manga before the anime adaptation became mainstream either. At the end of my "gap year" story/rant, she told me something about maslow's heirarchy of needs, that it is impossible for a person to obtain happiness or something of that vein (I mentioned that in that gap year, I want to better myself and find where I can find contentment because it's been a long time ever since I actually felt happy). Of course, I know that happiness can never really be obtained fully but the way she says it is so condescending.
I'm so done with her and her bs. One more instance like those and I'll finally give her a piece of my mind. I'm a coward, I know, but I want to keep our "friendship" seeing as we still have 2 years before we go our seperate ways. Vent over.
No. 549812
>>549801I hate orbiters like him. They're creepy and can make life at work a living hell. Like
>>549805 said, be careful. They confuse you being patient and polite with having interest in them and after you explicitly say no when they outright ask you, they will most likely accuse you of leading them on. That also happens so many times whenever you're working directly with customers like at the reception desk which is even worse because you feel trapped and can't escape. I don't know if they intentionally do that or not. It's like they can sense you're kind and will abuse that. Or when men think just because it's part of your job description to smile at clients their ego is so big they actually think you like them. The most stressful things at work were always due to that. I'll take crazy deadlines and impossible tasks over such creeps any time.
No. 549829
File: 1588592005073.jpeg (264.34 KB, 452x825, D63CAAA8-AB37-4FA9-AAD5-8E2905…)
>>549821Hypothetical new bestie I am lonely af
No. 549834
>>549816I bet that if she gets dumped she'll come to you for comfort, fuck that bitch
I don't trust girls that only hang with their bf and has no girl friends
No. 549846
File: 1588596922668.jpg (52.04 KB, 960x640, 6f34a94638148cdd167ba89eed2274…)
I have a sperg, as in actually mentally slow/retard, who went to ELEMENTARY school with me still stalk me on social media because my mom made me go on a play date with him cause she thought his mom was nice, the whole thing made child me utterly uncomfortable because he was inappropiately touchy feely when i already never liked physical contact, also has acted like we are best friends since then when i never ever wanted to interact with him again.
Sometimes when im grocery shopping with my mom we come across sperg and his mom and i always have to make excuses on how im not too much into social media so i get out of adding him.
Im on my twenties for god sakes is this shit going to haunt me until i move out of this town?
I know its crap and ableist but i do not have the empathic skills to deal with spergs, they just make me uncomfortable.
No. 549851
>>548561too late i already messaged them.
One of them was happy to hear from me since we were friends in high school but the other one……i had a anxiety attack after messaging him after remembering all the bullying and abuse he put me through.
A delusional part of me believed that maybe he would apologize and feel guilty but no he has moved on with his life and seemed a bit weirded out that i even reached out to him.
No. 549855
File: 1588600791011.jpg (112.23 KB, 582x502, BJes1uq.jpg)
I went on a date with some ugly old guy from SA. We go to a bar and have some gross food.The whole time he keeps on putting his hands down my dress grabbing my tits and it really hurts. Date finally ends and all i get is £10..
No. 550031
This has been haunting me ever since it happened.
Am I in the wrong for cheating on my abusive ex? It was a LDR (not that it really matters,) and she would verbally abuse me constantly, starting with "playful" bullying, to things like I came out to them that I was sexually abused, and groomed by men, and she told me I was disgusting and a bad person because clearly I didn't like her because she didn't have a dick for me to suck, or telling me I should stay in the hospital for a long time and she couldn't stand talking to me after I overdosed… also she apparently bragged about gaslighting me later on. I wanted out of the relationship but she'd pull the "So you want me to be alone and kill myself?"
I eventually got closer and closer to a friend IRL, spending the night over constantly, and I instantly really started getting comfortable with him bc I needed that. We slept together one drunk night and I realized how much like, I wanted that.. and it just kinda kept going from that. My relationship felt so fucking crushing but I was too scared to leave them (i have bpd, so.. yeah.) but I felt so much comfort in that friend. The relationship ended up breaking because they got fed up with me, especially because they found old stupid posts I made on 4chan.
I'm now dating that friend and like, I realize how AWFUL my ex was, but I still feel really guilty, I'm sure it sounds dumb but I still also blame myself for a lot and believe they were right.
No. 550080
>>550031>My relationship felt so fucking crushing but I was too scared to leave them (i have bpd, so.. yeah.wtf does that have to do with having bpd? does everyone with bpd just equate every poor/questionable decision they make with bpd? should we just include that in the diagnostic criteria, too?
ironically, your
abusive ex-partner is the one who sounds like they have bpd. you just sound like a doormat.
No. 550104
File: 1588636889864.png (40.22 KB, 605x264, 076.png)
>>550031Sorry that you had a shitty ex, but like… it's a LDR. Why not just tell her to fuck off and block her on everything? What's the worst she can do, subtweet you?
No. 550165
>>550043>>550104I was genuinely afraid that she would kill herself. Not that I'd really know, and for all I ever knew, it'd seem like she was just ghosting me. She threatened to harm herself any time I was with friends too, I just listened because I was too scared of something serious when I know I should've just ended it. I was 19 and it was my first real relationship, I kind of thought everything was on me.
>>550080Sorry, I meant that the idea of her leaving scared me so deeply for a reason I don't even understand now that I look at how shitty the whole thing was. That might just be a normal thing? I'm not, and never was, sure on what normal is with relationships until now.
No. 550180
>>550173Yikes can’t you side step with different topics or does he just circle to her? Had an online friend like this and I just joked like
>lmao you simping! Stop talking about ur e-gf it offends me >tfw no gfAs friends you shouldn’t be scared to assert yourself imo
No. 550221
>>550216they're both pretty terrible honestly. i was trying to help the girl out and she accused me of wanting to steal him. like, i don't
need to do that, i get it for free. i felt super bad for her but she and him are really made for eachother.
No. 550223
>>550187You seem young, I don't blame you about your insecurities.
If you weren't seen as the "Short girl" they woulda put another identifier on you cuz it's just easy to describe you. Examples
"Hey do you know the red head chick" or "hey, you know about that fat dude in class D" whatever.
As for your friends they probably have their own insecurities as well. I mean, must be hard to hear their cute petite friend talk about having no friends… yet clearly being in a friend group. Then also hear about how they get male attention for being petite when they themselves probably want it.
I kinda wanna flip attraction to height to how sucky girls will only date guys who are above 6 ft. A lot of guys just find short girls cute and it doesn't threaten their masculinity unlike a tall chick would.
I know of a lot of popular short girls irl and online. As long as you don't do any loli shit you're fine. Quirky interests and all.
It's hard now but hopefully in the future you learn to love what you have because you're stuck with it.
No. 550332
>>547701Oh my god, I came here to vent about similar, I'm so sorry for both of you. People who do this are exhausting.
One of my friends seems to have a weird obsession with me and I've started to wonder if she has BPD.
Originally some years ago she got jealous that I was in the same friendship circle and tried to ostracise me, it kind of backfired because she spread a ton of fake rumors and people caught on, her housemate told me she had jealousy issues.
Some years later it seems to be buried under the hatchet and I attempt to reach out and start a friendship with her again thinking that she's grown and wanting to put our differences aside. This was a few years ago.
Since this point she's become increasingly competetive, dyeing her hair and buying her outfits to match mine, getting passive aggressive that we share a close friend, even getting upset and angry at that friend for being so close to me despite the fact that I got to know this friend first and seperately to her. At one point this mutual friend of ours got angry at her because she noticed the two faced attitude and fixation towards me.
There was a point late last year where it felt like she'd calmed down and our conversations felt more genuine, but recently I think she's maybe made me feel otherwise.
She now not only has to compete with everything I do in my career and in general while copying, but she obsessively lurks my social media and activities, she'll be on them within a few minutes, but the real red flag for me was that she's started obsessively trying to befriend and get close to anyone that she sees me being close with. She recently started to try and get close to my ex too, directly after she seemed to be getting passive aggressive and spiteful about me again, so it all feels very creepy and delibrate. She tried to befriend one of my exes but him and I are still good friends so he's been showing me the messages and avoiding her like the plague so all of a sudden she's started to go after my OTHER ex that I'm not in contact with anymore but I know she knows their name.
She's starting to remind me of Dasha. I have always encouraged her and I've been here when she has needed a shoulder, but now I really feel like she's maybe doing what she did before where she was only nice to me for two reasons:
1. because she was aware that people around us could see her nastiness and she cares a lot about her reputation
2. she wants to be close so she can get any information from me whenever it suits her, she is incredibly nosy and makes us feel like we have to tell her everything going on in our lives sometimes
I've heard that there is something called the chameleon effect and wondered if this applied to her. We have all seperately tried to support her, but at this point I've started to distance myself because I'm finding this fake sickliness towards me whilst also having to watch and compete with everything I do very intense and
toxic. It is so competetive and it feels like she is never genuinely happy for me when things are going well or I'm looking well. It just sparks a bunch of weird posts where she's skinwalking again. At first it was my hair and makeup, then it was my clothes and interests, eventually it was the tiniest thing like I got my hair done and people responded well and a couple of days later she had to go and do the same and she was tagging people because she'd get competetive about likes. She gets fixated on whatever I like, and she gets bitter about my achievements now.
am I overreacting? I've tried to be patient over the years but my other best friend is telling me to be careful now. I wish her happiness and I want the friendship to work but I just feel like every little bit of positive attention I get seems to send her seething and it's not nice. I know she has jealousy issues but this feels really over the top now. Am I being too harsh or is it okay that at this point my patience with giving her the benefit of doubt has started to crumble? I don't want to be inconsiderate because I know she struggles with insecurity but it just feels spiteful. She's no longer trying to skinwalk just me, she's actively trying to skinwalk my friendships and connections, too.
No. 550420
File: 1588693663040.png (237.73 KB, 500x366, ben.png)
So now there's a TiF in my irl friend group. The only real life group where I didn't have to worry about triggering anyone with jokes, memes or opinions, and where no one really gave a shit about "transphobes" or even knew what a "terf" was. Already a few people are indulging her, like correcting themselves when they refer to her as a woman (which happens a lot, since there's absolutely nothing masculine or "manly" about her), even though I'm 99% sure that none of them, especially the guys, really see her as a man. They're just avoiding hurting her feelings and starting some bullshit drama, since she's really sensitive and has heaps of other mental health issues, and has even self-harmed before. I really dislike conflicts and stirring shit too, so I'm just completely avoiding any gender topics altogether whenever she's around.
She doesn't seem like the worst kind though, like I've been able to say "men" and "women" when talking about reproductive organs, and she doesn't get too spergy whenever someone calls her a woman, she mostly just corrects them. Still, she did get semi-triggered over some raunchier jokes (not gender related) at some point, while nobody else even batted an eye. If this becomes yet another group where I have to watch what I say so I don't start a shitstorm, it's gonna get really exhausting really quickly.
No. 550466
File: 1588696648961.jpg (28.84 KB, 463x403, ec3e43ae-f4da-4424-93ee-083d9c…)
I play to get my nipples pierced and the only thing that is making me dread it a bit is that my mother will talk shit/not talk to me at all once she finds out. All because she cares so much about what others think and like. She has no personality or interests of her own and the whole thing is just sad when I think about it. If I was a teen that did crazy shit constantly I'd kind of get it but I'm 25 and jfc I wish she would stop caring or at least stop talking shit about me when I do something she doesn't like.
No. 550483
File: 1588697824149.jpg (43.56 KB, 621x621, b1785499cf4c41eff5c25a74e0b098…)
Since puberty, I always knew I was ugly I even used to tell myself that I would end up with a blind man if I ever get in a relationship.
I later got in a relationship with an average looking man, at first, it was okay, he didn't love-bomb me but I felt appreciated, he wasn't the best looking nor the richest, and he was a socially inept virgin so naturally, he didn't have much luck with relationships either and he was happy to have me I guess but as time went on he became less and less interested, he started finding me annoying and he got colder, we didn't do anything together and he never remembered my birthday or other important details about me, everything felt fake and forced.
After staying that way for about 1.5 years I got devastated and tried to confront him about it a lot until he admitted that he only views me as a friend and that he only enjoys my company but doesn't find me attractive at all, I was heartbroken but I kept on being friends with him because I don't have friends at all at the time. few months later suddenly he initiats the relationship again. he was colder than ever and only got colder as we progressed. it felt like he only kept me around because he knew he had no chance of having a relationship otherwise.
I left him as the relationship became one-sided again and I was just a friend even though I was showering him with love since day one, we were in a relationship for almost three years and he told me that he loved me less than five times since the beginning of the relationship, he didn't like it when I called him cute names, he never remembered my birthday (and never got me anything for my birthday in that regard), rarely complimented me, and never took me seriously.
Looking back at it now it seems like it was never a relationship to start with, he just used me for sexual purposes and for the sake of not being alone. I always wonder if things would've been different if I were pretty(er), and the answer is probably yes because if I was prettier I would simply not end up in a relationship with the first man that shows interest because I wouldn't be so desperate and in case I did I would've been treated way better, he would've showered me with love and compliments, never forget my birthday nor my family members/friends names, agree to do fun things with me, he would've seen more as more than annoying, and things would've been more satisfying in general.
I know now that I'll never get in a relationship with a man ever again unless he's proven he indeed cared for me and saw me as something more than just means for his hornieness or as an available option, and that is very unlikely so I'll probably just remain single for the rest of my life and that's a great life honestly, I feel much better now that I don't have to worry about being too ugly for him or being scared that he'd notice my insecurities, I'm much more mentally stable and I don't feel anxious 24/7 anymore.
I'm also more comfortable financially now that I'm a single woman.
No. 550496
>>550490Shirts with no bra? I'm flat as paper so I don't wear the often
And I do live with her. I'm from eastern europe, unless you go to college, have a so or are upper middle class you live with your parents. It's also pretty normal here, but yea, was planning to move out this year with a roommate but pandemic struck.
No. 550500
I need to vent about my coworkers, one woman in particular.Two of my coworkers are sleeping together. The woman is very attractive and gets hit on every time we go out together, though she has a son and a lot of baby daddy drama (she just kicked her roommate, another coworker, out of their shared apartment for the quarantine to move her baby daddy and son in and he's been paying her for sex). The man is not attractive. Chubby, balding, and short. He is really nice though, and a good friend of mine. He is also RICH. Just bought a super nice house. He also has an endless supply of drugs. He super lonely too, he just moved here and he seems to really miss his ex.
I know she is just taking advantage of him. I'm surprised it took this long for them to start sleeping with each other. She's been all over him since he started working with us. She even has a key to his house. I am friends with the girl too, but I know she is a snake who will cause so much drama when he finally gets over her.
I just don't understand why they want all this drama. He told me he knows what he's doing wrong, he knows she is trouble, but I think he's so desperate for sex he just doesn't care. I'm trying to set him up with my friend he has a crush on, but I also just found out that my friend looks like the mirror image of his ex, so I kind of want to back off of that. (though honestly I'm one to talk, I look just like my husbands ex, I hate men sometimes.)
My girl coworker is trouble though, and i expect by next month work will be a full on war zone. I already watched what happened last time a male coworker tried to be with her, she destroyed him. And he actually wanted to be with her! Seems like my male coworker at least knows this is just a hook up thing.
We're already short staff because its a hard job with lots of drama and we have a very low retention rate. No one lasts more the 3 months. I'm currently training 5 'temp' workers we are really hoping to retain. The woman coworker also bullies people when they first started. People have quit just because of this girl. Mostly female hires. I swear the only reason we are friends is because I told her to stop being a bitch to me when I first started working here. When ever I'm training she always comes and over shares about her drama right in front of the new hires, and I can tell some of them are already over her. Most of the new hires are woman, and it would be nice to have more woman at work.
She also barely works. Most of or job is customer service oriented, but there are a few tasks we are supposed to switch off on that we don't need to deal with customers. She will do all those tasks, even if they weren't assigned to her. It causes it a lot of frustration because out customers are not easy to deal with and everyone once their break. We also lost another staff member recently because they were high risk for Covid-19 and they were supposed to come and handle all those tasks throughout the day, while everyone else did customer service (we still see customers face to face). Well my annoying coworker refused to give up doing all the tasks herself and gave a big sob story about her son getting exposed(even though she is still going out and partying every weekend) the management left it for them to work it out and my high risk coworker, knowing there is no point in fighting her just left.
Most people are talking about leaving for various other reasons after everything calms down. I feel like there screwed on hiring new people. This woman has been with them for 7 years and will probably never leave.
No. 550554
>>550545>>550548No lmao, I'd rather kms than have to rely on her again.
You anons do have a point, idk why I'm whining about it. Guess I just felt miserable in the moment or something. Thanks for the reality check.
No. 550684
File: 1588722286372.gif (486.32 KB, 475x347, 1572572997574.gif)
Why the FUCK do I keep procrastinating my exam is tomorrow morning aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No. 550855
I'm exhausted from being everyone’s emotional punching bag. I thought it would change at some points but I’m always being the one ready to ask people how they are, always the one wanting to help when actually I know there’s no one there for me.
And it sounds pathetic to me. It’s pathetic how I wake up anxious about wanting to check up my phone because I know there will be no message. Pathetic how instead how respecting myself I start to call people because if I don’t I feel guilty and I’m convinced they will think I don’t care about them, when actually they probably didn’t think of me at all. Pathetic because every time I see people ignoring me my heart breaks but the moment they need me to do them favours, I don’t even doubt at all.
Even when I’m having the worst weeks lately I feel guilty when I try to explain it because my mind convinces me that it’s not that important, that they won’t care. And truth is I know if they know, they wouldn’t. Two days ago I confirmed it, I opened up to few people and what did they do? Absolutely nothing. And I don’t explain my problems to people to get half assed apologies, I do it because at that moment I can’t take it anymore, I feel like dying. But fuck how it hurts knowing I’m surrounded by toxic people that convinced me this is normal, me dragging myself to them without hesitation, while I have to practically beg to be heard.
Years ago some friend got pretty mad at me because I posted something related to being always the second option, how it hurt not being someone’s else priority and I think they felt pretty called out because they knew it was about them/her. And instead of defending myself and explaining her why I felt this way (calls never answered, them meeting up with other people but couldn’t take a minute or two to see me, passive aggressive shit they posted about ME in our GCs, inside jokes they did about me and thought I didn’t notice because I never said anything, just a few examples), of course I did why I always did and still do, i apologised profusely and begged her not to cut me off of her life. And basically that’s why I do every time and that’s why I end up being used on, because they know they can do it, I’ll always came back to them.
No. 551010
>>551005It seems like you view dating as a competition with other women, do you even like your boyfriend?
I've been there and it's the worst investment of your time, literally anything is better than that
No. 551015
>>551005Is this actually about the fat, jobless stoner girl who lives at home, or is this actually about your crippling lack of self-esteem causing disordered behaviors like comparing yourself to irrelevant women hoping that you'll feel better? Why doesn't your new bf make you feel good about having a job and being skinny if his ex was so shite?
Think about it.
No. 551025
>>550926>>550897Well there's at least one robot taking advantage of the situation and getting comfortable but at least they got banned even when mods probably missed the mark.
>>>/meta/14757>>550738https://desuarchive.org/r9k/search/text/Ratfem/ If you look at the whole conversations you get the gist.
No. 551030
>>551005anon why the fuck are you so stuck on this girl you don't know and who you haven't said has ever interacted with you? cause she used to get fucked by your boyfriend? grow the fuck up
this is why people in the mental disorders you won't deal with thread always mention bpd
No. 551045
>>551041Thank you. I think I was too optimistic, but the occupations I was suited for after graduating were an academic niche, so largely in an english speaking (which I'm fluent in), international environment. I don't think I really considered that even though the native language is only preferred, I'd always lose out to competition who could speak it. I also realised through time and networking that companies trusted qualifications and people from their own country more than anyone/anywhere else, which is definitely not what I encountered elsewhere.
It was a massive lack of foresight and too much optimism that my degrees would net me a job asap though.
No. 551051
>>551047Thanks. Yeah I'm super grateful for that, he's always been kind and tbh I just hope I've managed to return that kindness to him during our days together.
I deleted though because I don't want to be looking back on this negatively. I regret posting and should try not think about it.
No. 551055
>>551045Are you the same anon from the confessions thread a couple days ago? Or is there somehow a huge number of farmers who moved to another country without a job and bothering to learn the native language, leeching of their partner?
>the occupations I was suited for after graduating were an academic niche, so largely in an english speaking (which I'm fluent in), international environment.But how did you plan on making friends? Or even doing daily things like buying groceries? Did you really think you could get by with only english?
No. 551068
>>551045This is a full on "ARE YOU
*" but were you asking about jobs in the suomillanka?
No. 551129
Really fucking tired of my own brain, I don't know why I have to sperg and obsess over every new interest I find. I'll find a new show or start listening to more of a band I've already known, and it always comes with me obsessing over it (i.e. saving pictures, downloading fucktons of shit, talking/thinking about them a lot, kpop stan stuff even though it's not kpop etc) and I'm actively doing this while being somewhat self-aware and wanting to act like a normal person. It always boils over into having some huge dilemma with myself and then I forget about it and keep going. Since I at least know I'm not obsessing in a creepy way, it's juggling the mindset of "I'm not being a stalker, writing fanfiction, getting in fights over it with other fans, or shoving it down ppl's throats, so why shouldn't I just let myself enjoy this" and "I'm acting like a stupid fangirl cunt".
With my most recent "obsession", I did actively try to suppress it and beat myself up until it got to the point of "I'm so bored, I'm done with school, and I have actually nothing to do so whatever" and I started sperging out anyways. Then it's back to the whole dilemma and feeling stupid. How do I start liking things like a regular fucking person
No. 551156
File: 1588814168167.jpg (315.84 KB, 1080x900, noiwillnot.jpg)
Posting here instead of the AC thread because i'm just whining, but I'm so so so tired of the ACNH community bitching about NEEDING "quality of life" updates. Are there really that many people who have never played Animal Crossing before? What kind of game do they think this is? There's no reason to do everything SUPER FAST, GOTTA GET EVERYTHING NOW, GO GO GO. That is literally the opposite of the point of the game. Everything is supposed to be slow and tedious and slightly inconvenient. This isn't Nintendo being shitty, that's literally how the series has been designed from the very beginning. But now you have to be able to craft instantly, sell things instantly, have a perfect island instantly. I wish they would fuck off and go play Stardew instead since that's the game they actually want to play!!!
No. 551161
>>551156Thanks for posting this, anon. I 100% agree. And I have been feeling like an asshole gatekeeper because you can literally tell which people have never ever played any game in this franchise before or only played New Leaf with the seeding hack or whatever and "perfect dream towns". I've been getting so annoyed but don't say anything because I'm not trying to be a huge asshole, but the outward complaining and people acting like they're out to win a game with no end…. ugh.
The number one thing that bugs me is people freaking out over the content that's available right now. Someone posted a big poster meme style pictures of the special NPC's that hadn't shown up in the game yet as of literally like mid april (a month after release) and Leif, Rover, Brewster, REDD were on there. It said something like "RIP to these characters can't believe we lost so many." Then a week later you get confirmation that they ARE in the game. People were on the post going "RIP CANT BELIEVE THEY TOOK LEIF AWAY FROM ME. FUCK THEM FOR GETTING RID OF BREWSTER AND GYROIDS!!" jfc.
No. 551214
File: 1588824397792.jpeg (82.14 KB, 1024x560, 1C3F74E2-6810-4874-A3F5-878509…)
My dad is emotionally abusive but in a very passive aggressive way. It’s taken me years to admit it because it’s been subtle but it’s left me incredibly paranoid. I can’t really even find similar experiences to mine online. My dad will be nice to my face but when I walk away he’ll say something cruel under his breath. Almost without fail; if I respond in a wrong way or I’m not super chipper he’ll complain about it to himself. He’s called me a stupid bitch, talked about how I’m fat and dumb, and generally just thinks I’m a leech on his finances. He insists on paying for my bigger expenses but then uses them against me and guilt me into being a prim and proper girl.
He’s literally always talking to himself, in fact he’s doing it right now. I think he thinks I can’t hear him but that’s because he’s an idiot and doesn’t realize that I’m not middle aged and still have decent hearing. I have such terrible anxiety and paranoia because of his constant muttering it really feels like I’m crazy sometimes. I think everyone hates me or is out to get me and I can’t even say it’s in my head because this is what I’ve grown up with and internalized. I feel really alone.
No. 551217
>>551185This sounds exactly like my cat minus the outdoor parts, and I love him for it. I can't help but find it cute that you hate it. I'm sorry that you're allergic and find it annoying, but your post gave me a chuckle. My cat meows and throws himself constantly so my neighbours probably feel like you do.
Do you use any antihistamines? If over the counter ones don't cut it, your doctor can prescribe some that are double the strength. Sorry if it's a dumb question.
No. 551267
File: 1588840373415.jpg (139.77 KB, 1000x1000, 1567115357582.jpg)
my boyfriend tries really hard to get me to break out of my shell and express what i feel about things. he is still in uni and likes my opinions on what he studies, but im so used to being silent about what i feel it makes me so uncomfortable. it sounds so dramatic but like the last three years, the only times ive spoken out loud about my thoughts were to myself when i was alone. im so afraid of getting answers wrong or sounding retarded, id rather just be silent.
trying to help him write a paper on neurophilosophy but i keep thinking about how retarded i feel and how i know i must sound so stupid. hes really patient with me, but i feel awful.
No. 551293
>>551222Yeah I do the same. Although if he tries drinking out of my cup that morning he gets dry food instead of wet and no pets for an hour. Like I know he's not trying to be an asshole but I've tried. Having my room mate I can never get away from him moaning while my ears are ringing from sinus induced tinnitus caused by my allergy to him.
I know he's an animal and a dependent. And I do my best, I'm just feeling overwhelmed.
>>551217Thank you for understanding. I'm glad you like it in your cat. I'm currently on a round of steroid spray and use a neti pot several times a day and take an anti histamine.I just started so we will see if it helps.
No. 551312
File: 1588852572913.jpeg (34.13 KB, 256x308, 1580661020294.jpeg)
>>551297>>551303these hit me pretty hard. ive been on this site almost since its inception but it never fails to surprise me with how supportive you ladies are. i really am super appreciative of it. even if its anon, im gonna think about these replies a lot. im just not used to people being like this. thank you
No. 551316
>>551296I don't want kids, I don't enjoy penetration and I have my own house, I've pretty much opted out of dating.
A man twenty years my senior randomly tried to stop me lately for my number, first I clearly told him that I wasn't interested and then I said "social distancing, I better keep moving, bye!" He thought it was appropriate to then follow me and ask several more times in hopes of getting a different answer. Having to deal with that on my way to work while walking through an area that's deserted during covid.. fun times.
No. 551333
>>551296I keep dating thinking that I'm going to find a partner because I'd love to go in on a house, entertain the idea of a family, and build each other up and be supportive considering I have no family structure of my own anymore.
And yet whenever I do think I've found someone, the man has clearly embellished or over exaggerated his value. Like lying about going to college, exaggerating how much money he makes, hiding that he lives with mom still, and fibbing about what he actually wants to do in life. In fact most men indulge in my silly little life ambitions because they know it's what I want to hear, and they'll say anything to get into my pants. Then if they don't immediately peace out after scoring the puss, they're happy to stay to take advantage of my drive and generosity until I either get sick of it or they monkey branch to the next female simp who's willing to tolerate their shit. Men are so fucking pathetic these days that they don't even have licenses to drive vehicles, they don't even care about having a decent job. What preoccupies most minds of men is to do the bare minimum. They want to "do what they wanna do" which is usually a combination of letting someone else take care of them and manage their household like mom, while they go off to do a hobby like video games or music. Oh and don't forget we have to be hot, witty, and perky at all times for these useless fucks to be happy and show us a minutiae of appreciation.
I'm not even 30 and yet I'm very much convinced I will likely end up alone. Not because I want to, but because I know so many miserable bitches who settled just for the image of normalcy with a manchild. Like why would I want that. Who ever gave me credit for being the woman behind the curtain orchestrating everything for a man? Plus at this point, most decent men are already in healthy strong relationships by their late 20s anyway. Usually what's left over are immature weirdos, and
abusive fucksticks who just got kicked to the curb by wiser women. I'm done "training" men on how to be adults. Disappointment is an understatement about the true hurt and letdown that the majority of men are. Worst of all they can't even let me be alone if they're not about me, can't make me happy, and have nothing to offer. No matter how fat or ugly I get with age, they still come sniffing around my door because I'm someone who they think they could get sex, money, or attention from.
No. 551358
>>551333nta but I think you summed it up well.
I'm also in the same situation and the more guys I meet the less desire I have to date or bother at all. I started to just put all the effort into myself instead and try to have a good life.
No. 551423
I have no idea what to do with myself.
I graduated a few months ago with average grades and have just been sitting at home ever since. The corona situation has been a convenient excuse, but I'm only wasting time. I sleep at least 10 hours every day and still feel tired.
Every time I start thinking or talking about my future, I start to cry for some reason. I wrote an email asking for a career guidance appointment today and started tearing up out of nowhere when I wrote that I'm not doing any type of job right now. I wasn't even sad or anything, it just happened.
During the last few years of high school my brain basically stopped working, I can spend days without forming a coherent thought, reading and writing have become kind of difficult for me and I can't remember things. Is it Depression? Straight up brain damage? Cotard's syndrome, making me believe I'm braindead? Who knows, I feel like going to a doctor would just waste their time since I feel okay on some days. My parents said it's just due to vitamin deficiency and I stopped bringing it up.
My aimlessness is probably due to me being suicidal since 8th grade. I always thought I'd kill myself soon anyway, now I'm here and don't know where to put myself. I want to leave home, but I don't know where to go. I want to disappear, but I don't want to die I think. I feel like there won't ever be a place for me, like I'm not supposed to be anywhere. It's as if my life is already over and I peaked at 13 years old. I don't feel real anymore, things just happen around me. Sometimes I realize that I'm actually alive and have a body and it's so weird to me.
I wish I had been born as a soft kitten with a nice middle-aged lady taking care of me, this existence is not it
No. 551479
>>551462Idk anon, he listens to my feminist rants and theories and kinda provides his own opinions. He went NotAllMen once, so eh. But he is pretty chill. A few things just bothered me like he said he doesn't have female friends because girls are drama and one other thing he said was that he was glad I had a sister and not a brother because 'i would feel guilty banging a bros sis' so… yeah.
>>551463I know, I just felt an obligation to do that because of getting groomed and diddled as a kid I just feel like I need to be secual with a man for him to feel I am worthwhile. I just realize how fucking stupid I am.
>>551465>dumb het whoreI mean, yes, definitely a pathetic woman I know. I'm sorry for disappointing you, anon.
:( No. 551481
File: 1588882443509.gif (244.04 KB, 300x300, 5fb0101b36ffe939040c8fa71a8674…)
I wish I could cut my hair short but last time I did that, people mistook me as a FTM over and over again and I promised myself to never cut it ever again. It's shoulder length now but I miss having it shorter than that.
No. 551537
File: 1588892952848.jpg (7.67 KB, 200x200, 1519051260290.jpg)
Weebs will be the death of me, at least this one will. She's a dear friend, she is so smart and talented but she has spent all this covid era in her autistic ass weeb ass discord (what do you call them, gc? convo) and every fucking day it's some new drama. It's mind blowing to see a smart adult whine about autismos fighting over ships or fanart. She'll talk to this actual autists all day everyday, get her feelings hurt, I try to be a good friend and listen to her but oh my god. It just feels so surreal to have her forget to reply to my messages, yet whenever she gets back to me, it's about some neet bitch talking shit about her fave character or something. What the fuck. I hate art weebs. Once I went off and asked her if she knows how utterly ridiculous this shit is and she is aware, so why the fuck do I need to be ignored for a week yet idiots get her full attention and she'll crytype post about feeling awful about it all. This made no sense, I am sorry.
No. 551640
>>551634Oh god, are you me? My parents' ideal wedding for me and my siblings are like a fuckton of guests and among them are like 90% strangers and people whose names or faces I've never seen in my entire life, loud ethnic music in this big ass room they rented, everyone gets food and then I have to suffer from the embarrassment by dancing with my husband in front of everyone while I'm all dolled up with heavy make up and my wedding dress, and it's just all so loud, annoying and such a waste of money. They get mad when I tell them every time that I don't want anything like that, I just want to sign some papers with my husband and then fuck off forever.
Gotta love stubborn Middle Eastern parents.
No. 551646
File: 1588912750805.jpeg (471.79 KB, 750x747, 5F005E1E-C014-4975-A565-808C1D…)
My friends finally left me and I’m so fucking happy about it but my boyfriend left me two months ago and I’m 100% not over it and I keep crying constantly. Fuck scrotes. Fuck. Now I just don’t have as much of a distraction I guess. But now I’m talking to people online and some of my acquaintances irl, I’ll just see how that goes. I never trusted them nor liked them but the way they cut me off was kinda brutal and it reminds me why I can’t stand being around people/I can’t trust anyone. I haven’t enjoyed friendships in years and it sucks. I don’t know why I bother, anons. My ex was awesome and actually cared for me and I dealt with my friends because I had him. I didn’t have that balance anymore, it just sucked. I’m glad they aren’t here but I really wish I could trust people again.
No. 551704
>>551576I'm feeling called out so let me explain my reasoning.
I used to jump into relationships too eagerly, just because I liked someone and they wouldn't take a "hookups only" agreement. Then after some time I realized I just wasn't in love with them and broke up. No drama needed, I was sincere and we ended up in good terms.
But after a few years of that bullshit I grew sick of it. I simply thought I wasn't able to love someone and yeah, I may have jokingly posted I will be forever alone but not because other people don't love me but because I couldn't reciprocate their feelings.
No. 551763
File: 1588944244218.gif (3.73 MB, 460x258, pigeon falling.gif)
>saved money while studying for years so I could go abroad on a working holiday visa for a year
>went to my destination in January, thinking that the epidemic (now a pandemic) wouldn't be that bad because politicians won't be in denial for that long and tests would be properly conducted, right?
>WRONG
>had a hard time finding a job when I arrived, the one I found doesn't pay a lot because I can only work 8h a week
>managed to visit the city where I live but not everything I wanted since a lot of places are closed down
>won't be able to visit the other region I REALLY wanted to visit
>managed to be sick twice in almost four months because I'm fucking cursed, and not even because of the COVID shit
>couldn't meet anyone and form relationships, or even practice using the local language like I planned, won't be able to do it anyway
>since there's not much I can do now in terms of either work or holidays I decided to go back to my country and bought a plane ticket two days ago
>flight has been cancelled since this morning, can't call the company yet because today is a national holiday in my country (as in, where I want to go back) and they can't be called either on the weekend
>won't even be able to get a job once I'm back home because my plan of getting professional experience abroad and most likely working in the tourist industry right after graduating is beyond fucked now
>all of this because of a disgusting Chinese wet market
No. 551774
>>551769It's never to late to learn anon. I know this kinda shit seems impossible to learn when you're an adult, but it's not. Maybe you can start with googling first grade curriculum, and then watch some videos on youtube about the stuff you want to learn. There are tons of teachers on youtube.
Keep in mind most of the shit you learn in math isn't really needed tho. Infact, most adults can barely remember what they learned in middleschool and highschool aside from the basics. You just got to know how to multiply, add and subtract. English is whats really important for day-to-day life.
No. 551779
>>551769I don’t know if you’re in the US but community colleges have beginner-level classes for math and english. In my early twenties I took one for math because I didn’t know how to do long division or anything related to percentages and it helped a lot.
And I absolutely relate to the feeling of embarrassment, before I went back to school customers had made comments at my jobs because I would pull out a calculator to figure out a percentage or say “ x with change” if they wanted me to estimate an item price. People are jerks.
No. 552139
>>552134Every single time
>>552089…Why did you post this twice