/g/ - /lg/- lesbian general #5

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Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 01:57:28 PM No. 275388

File: 1657893448935.gif (1.15 KB, 29x50, chlorox.gif)

Welp, nonas were right. I spent so many days on here getting advice on a million things and defending her but my gf is bi. She "can't love men" but can get off to their bodies and I've seen her notice them right in front of me before. Everything about her that I noticed and pointed out to her, that she kept telling me I'm imagining… It's all true. She loves me too much which is why she couldn't own up to it yada yada. She chose to take my choice away from the start, she knew I didn't want to date a bisexual, regardless of where she is on the Kinsey scale. It was my one deal breaker besides gender stuff. I'm such an idiot. All the times she pretended to understand me as a lesbian or the times that she kept "worrying" I might be bi because I grew up in a shithole country where I had no idea what a lesbian was just her fucking projecting and pretending. She even convinced me to go to the dyke march together, my first one, and it's all tainted.

I'm already in love and my ability to make the right decision for myself has all but evaporated. She has made me feel like I'm insane or paranoid so many times and I was right every time.

She wrote me a novel about her experiences and she's had very few partners plus her first was a male groomer she met at 14 who was her only sexual experience for a long time, etc. My brain is back to making excuses for her, trying to see if she was just conditioned or self harmed but no. I need to stop burying my head in the sand now that she's done shoving my head down into it. She's only dated one male so who is to say there won't be one who's actually nice to her that she won't love? I hate that she simply chose to live under the identity that I've fought for decades to embrace. She just chose to wear it, and then made me feel like a psycho when I noticed things that don't add up.

I still want to psychoanalyze and say she had a bad crossing of pavlovian wires due to her early trauma because she only liked girls before and since this dude but no. She's just bi. I need to stop.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 02:16:35 PM No. 275391

>>275388
Anon is her only bf the one who groomed her? I'd say I'm bi myself but I can't have relationships with men, I did try(cause I'm in a Muslim country and it'd obviously be easier to date a man) and I didn't feel anything emotionally towards them. I can tell if a man is attractive but I can't connect with them emotionally or really imagine dating one in the long term so I just gave up. I use bi generously here, I haven't done anything further than holding hands with a man and don't really intend to go further with any man ever.
I've also dated and had flirts with women(some of which were bi and had no issue telling me about the men they'd fuck, ew) so I understand your concerns but if your gf really was groomed she could be a confused lesbian or bisexual with no intentions to date a man. You should discuss this openly with her and try not to be judgemental. I know she deceived you and you can obviously break up with her over that but a woman who has been victimized by a man in her formative years will have a skewed view on her sexuality, it may go as far as her unknowingly ignoring her attraction to men as it reminds her of those bad experiences.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 02:22:01 PM No. 275392

>>275391
She says she's never dating one but she's dated like 4 people in her life. You can't know that kinda stuff with barely any exerience, especially in a muddy situation like hers.

Her knowing I would not even consent to sex with a bisexual, and still lying to me means our months of relationship has been noncon. I'm grappling with the profound cruelty it takes to deceive someone just to get the pussy you want out of them. Do you understand where I'm coming from? I'm not here to validate anybody's sexuality or attractiveness. I'm a human being with a will of her own, a body that she should get to choose the destiny of. She knew how I feel about all this, she did it anyway.

>a woman who has been victimized by a man in her formative years will have a skewed view on her sexuality, it may go as far as her unknowingly ignoring her attraction to men as it reminds her of those bad experiences.
I get it and I sympathize, I do. But I was taken advantage of. I also resent that she spent so long hating bisexuals and women who figured out their bisexuality later on in life when she's only using the lesbian label to "avoid making men think she's available to them". Bro just say queer or reject them? Imagine being such a coward that you wear someone else's identity for the convenience. Pathetic.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 02:22:20 PM No. 275393

>>275388
Samefag as the last reply but you should also note a lot of bi women feel more intensely towards other women - they just choose to be with men as it's simply easier and more acceptable. She deceived you and in the end this is up to your judgment but I feel like you need to talk this out so you can unwind and stop trying to fix her issues for her. After having an open discussion, if it still bothers you, do break up.
As I said I also had very unsettling experiences with some bi women where I always felt like I needed to compete with men to win them over and deep down I knew that was a lost cause as they always chose the more convenient option.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 02:31:29 PM No. 275394

>>275392
Anon as I said, she did deceive you and you can break up with her just for that reason alone. Though she genuinely might have confused her attraction as something everyone feels as she probably didn't want to actively date any of those men like she thought a woman attracted to them would. I rarely feel attraction towards men(been a fee years since I last did) so I too at first thought I was a lesbian. I still am not sure about labels and dislike queer so I simply go by bi as to not cause further misunderstandings or hurt anyone.

Again this is your call and it'd be reasonable to break up with her over this but I don't believe she hid her attraction to fuck you but rather because she was ashamed of the way she felt towards a group of people(men) who had already hurt her deeply. A lot of straight women think they're asexual after they get abused in such ways so in her case she might have also been in denial about her attraction because of the trauma.

In the end I don't know her, you do. That's why your choice will be the right one. You're clearly very distraught and I'd say you at least need to take a break even if you have trouble fully breaking things up.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 02:34:01 PM No. 275395

>>275394
We were about to move in together. I'm really heartbroken.

I'm tempted to post her novel with the names redacted just to get more input. I don't know what to make of this letter she wrote.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 02:35:46 PM No. 275396

>>275395
Fuck it.

There's something I've been hiding because I was afraid you wouldn't understand and wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore if I tried to explain. You had said in the past that if I were bi you would still be my friend. I'm terrified that you'll label me as a bisexual if that means I won't get to be with you. You're the only one I want to be with, but lying and hiding something from you feels like shit, too. Especially now that you've been open with me. I can only hope you'll attempt to understand my specific way of being and forgive me.

As you know, I went from identifying as bisexual to identifying as lesbian. Here's why.

I can't reliably develop feelings for men. For my entire life, I never developed a proper crush on a boy. Sometimes, my male friends would like me, and I tried to like them back but I just couldn't make myself feel for them. Meanwhile, I had uncontrollably strong feelings for my female friends. Sometimes, a dude would catch my eye, but I feel like it was because I wanted to be like him. I wouldn't feel jealous if he liked someone else. It wasn't the same, with one exception: my one male ex. I definitely wanted to be like him when I was young. I dug his style. I did not know him irl, so maybe it was easier to convince myself that I liked him romantically. No one had ever returned my attention before at the tender young age of 14, so I was excited when the 17 year old noticed me and decided to DM me. The way he spoke to me then was extremely sexual and it definitely felt strange because I hadn't been thinking sexual thoughts about him/us. It was strange and new. He asked me to rate him on a scale of 1-10 and I'd said 10, and then he proceeded to rate me an 8.5. That felt really degrading. But, I didn't know better. He continued to give me sexual attention sometimes, as he would for many women, and I ate it up because for the first time in my life, someone wanted me that I "liked" back. I don't remember the timeline perfect, but when I was about 16, about to turn 17, we started dating online. Being objectified felt weird but I think I established an emotional connection. Ish. But I also think that looking back (especially on that old livejournal I showed you), he provided me with validation and I thought that was the only way I could be loved, because with women I was still a total incel. Sometimes, [childhood crush] would cuddle me or do something flirty and I definitely had a very strong physical reaction to just that. Turns out she probably was attracted to me, she just thought I didn't like her because I was too shy. I had been obsessed with her for like 5 years. Anyway, I digress. I think I was drawn to this man in part because I admired him, in part because we became friends and started getting each other jokes and could discuss the same media etc., because he validated me and because it was my only way to experience sex. I lost my virginity to him when I was 19, and though the experience was very much centered around him and his pleasure and not at all on getting me off, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the sensations at the time. I still disliked blowjobs and secretly thought cum was disgusting. We continued the LDR for a few years and it wasn't healthy. I let him get away with treating me very poorly because I didn't know better, I didn't have anything else. It's not like women would like me. Finally, I had developed feelings for a man. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be capable of developing feelings for another man after him, and I was correct. He would cheat by talking to random women online sexually, constantly. Didn't feel guilty enough to tell me. I found out by snooping. I was apparently addicted to being uncomfortable and suspecting things. I would act out and he would treat me like I was the only problem in our relationship, like only I needed to change. He told me I should write in a personal journal for my mental health, one that I don't show to anyone. I did. At my place, he secretly checked my browser and then snooped on the journal, then proceeded to get upset at finding my grievances about him. I felt violated. I swore off snooping after that and never did it to anyone else again.
I wasn't happy in that relationship anymore but I didn't know how to end it. I developed a crush on a female internet friend that I knew I wasn't physically attracted to (I'm sorry, but she was the most homely young woman imaginable) because she gave me attention, made me laugh, and I liked her voice. She said she liked me back, which is the first time a woman ever did. I left him for her with no remorse. I realized that even being with this woman that I didn't even want to touch felt better to me than being with him. I started reading yuri and realized that it excited me more than any het thing I'd seen. It felt right. If women could like me back, I saw no reason to Id as bi anymore. I only wanted to be with women. When I met that girl in real life, she was in a dissociative state most of the time, and I didn't know how to communicate with her very well. I was honestly afraid of her. It became quickly apparent that I didn't actually have a connection with her either, and it was mutual so we had a friendly breakup and stopped talking much, though we are still casual internet friends. He now identifies as a non-binary transmasculine person (he/him)
I hadn't given up the lesbian identity. I just became determined to find a woman I was actually fully attracted to, that would be attracted to me too. Now that I was aware of yuri and all the other young women who were into it, I knew it was possible. I met [transmasc] through that community and finally had a relationship that just felt healthy and right. It felt incredibly different from the het relationship. I wasn't going to go back after experiencing that. When she broke up with me after a year and a half, that was my first time being a dumpee so I took it really badly, really immaturely. Just went totally batshit, wanted to die, etc. I had that moment of weakness with [male friend who she has assured me doesn’t want her, but totally does as things came out later] then, but it felt so so wrong. He wanted to talk about holding hands and be vulnerable and that didn't interest me at all. Even the sex talk just felt unappealing to me. I was unhealthily trying to find any way to feel better after that breakup. Luckily, he didn't take it too hard that I decided I didn't want that anymore, but also I feel it was shitty of him to try and get things from me while I was in such a vulnerable, heartbroken, insane state.
In the years that followed I got no action aside from the fling with [woman she was obsessed with basically right before we met, a matter of a couple months]. I wasnt really desperate enough to go searching. I wanted to ensure that I tried my best to just get her. When I met her here, I swore off of long distance relationships. Decided I'd rather be single than do that again. Decided I'd rather be single than ever settle again.
I got to know myself quite well sexually. Here's what I learned:
- I can generally look at porn as a spectator, not inserting myself, and get off to it. If something sexual is happening, my pussy responds to it. Even if it's men.
- However, I have no desire to be involved with a man, I don't feel attached to them now that I'm not a teenager craving validation from wherever possible. I could feel turned on by the idea of a man's faceless body (while also feeling that parts of it are disgusting), but when I imagine actually being physically involved with a man, the feeling is adjacent to dysphoria. It feels wrong, it feels anxious, it feels very "this is not where I belong." I had the opportunity to casually experiment with [same guy friend from before] in person or get laid just to get laid, but that didn't appeal to me at all. For about 4-5 years I've been firmly in this headspace of "I'd prefer to be with a woman I genuinely love, and if that's not possible I will be completely single and not have sex."
- if I ever orgasmed from something that wasn't focused on a woman I had feelings for, the orgasm felt incomplete. It felt as though some of the feel-good chemicals that usually are released during orgasm were not released. It felt soulless, empty and ultimately unsatisfying. I had to follow it up by masturbating to the idea of myself with a woman i had feelings for. That would always produce a satisfying orgasm. I could be done after that.

When I fell for you, I heard how much you hated porn, and stopped using it. It wasn't fulfilling anyway. I just looked at you, thought about you. You are everything I seek in a partner. You're the ideal for me. I don't need anything, or anyone else. Don't think for a second that I'm settling for you. I kept this from you because I was terrified of losing you specifically. You're someone that's capable of satisfying all of my needs. You're exactly the type of person I could marry and give my attention to exclusively, for the rest of my life, happily.

I never went back to the bi label because it implies that I would be interested in dating or having sex with a man, and I feel that that would be misleading of me. I'm only interested in connecting with women. Women with pussies. Those are the only people I feel such a deep attachment to, and I don't feel at all disgusted by their bodies. Lesbian is the only label that communicates that to people without having to go through all the nuances of my sexuality.

Do you agree that lesbian is the most accurate label for me? Can you forgive me for hiding until now? I hope so.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:13:20 PM No. 275407

>>275396
I do feel similarly to her - though I've obviously not done stuff with men or dated them for more than a few days/weeks - so I'd guess she's a bi woman who chooses to date women, she's not a lesbian and will never be one. You can't identify as a label just because you feel like it, this isn't a kinsey scale situation youre either gay straight or bi.
This is your choice and if you think it's worth the risk of her finding a man who she assumes loves her the way she wants(will never happen btw men don't love like women do so it'd just be her getting tricked), you can keep dating her. If not just break things off or take a break to think about this. She sounds very young and inexperienced although she has had a few relationships it seems like she just ended up in them by coincidence, she also doesn't sound mentally stable and neither do you because of how she played with your mind, this isn't a healthy relationship and it seems like she has several issues she unfortunately needs to get sorted before she dates anyone.
No one but you can make this choice, anon. She deceived you even though she loves you, if she is bi no matter how strong she loves you she will also feel attracted to men. That's just how she is.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:14:36 PM No. 275408

>>275396
Jesus Christ. That's a lot for her to dump on you at once, and so suddenly. I'm so sorry she lied to you all this time. If this is the sort of thing she can keep from you for months and months, deny again and again, and project onto you, then imagine what other psychosis she could put you through. Anon please cut your losses and run. You might love each other but this is seriously fucked up. You were up front with her from the start about never wanting to be with a bisexual, and instead of returning the favour and telling you right away about her past, she chose to mess with your head for months and then dump this guilt-trip sob story on you to excuse herself. It's up to you if you can ever forgive her, but I would advise you to get out of this relationship ASAP. Do not ever settle for a liar.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:19:07 PM No. 275410

>>275407
She's 30, I'm 28.

>>275408
Thank you for telling me this. I can't talk to anyone in my life about this situation except you nonas so I'm deeply appreciative of any advice at all.

I didn't know her to be a cruel or conniving person but rather someone who's very afraid of consequences and manipulates situations because of that. She had a pretty shitty early life with parents whose affection was extremely conditional which probably contributed to why she's so insecure. Still, I don't think the way she was okay with messing with me can be excused.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:22:12 PM No. 275412

>>275407
I understand you empathise with bisexual women because you are one yourself and therefore don't even belong in this thread but for the love of God please stop making excuses for OP's girlfriend. I don't care how insecure you all are about your attraction to men. There is absolutely no reason to defend her when OP explicitly said she did not want to be with a bisexual EVER and she flagrantly ignored and overstepped this boundary. She even had the audacity to accuse OP of her own crimes, only to "come clean" in the most whiny and self-flagellating manner possible. It's disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to defend her in the lesbian thread of all places. OP came here for support, not more gaslighting and guilt tripping. Kindly GTFO

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:27:35 PM No. 275416

>>275412
Girl I told her multiple times to break up but I also felt that I shouldn't have influenced OP too much as this isn't my relationship and I don't really know either of them well enough. I only commented here because I'm bi too and therefore know how OP's girlfriend is likely feeling. It's just not smart to date a bi woman and not expect her to dump you for a man, it happened to me with a bi gf and that's why I also mentioned that possibility.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:31:03 PM No. 275417

>>275416
OP here, I'm sorry for inviting bi input here which probably caused too much friction but I do think you meant well. I just wanted support from anonymous women because I'm that desperate right now.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:33:14 PM No. 275418

>>275410
>I didn't know her to be a cruel or conniving person but rather someone who's very afraid of consequences and manipulates situations because of that.
My ex was like this as well, and she was absolute hell to live with. It got to a point where she was lying to me about every little thing and trying to pretend otherwise, even in situations where I wouldn't have been upset with her. Anyways, It's good that you have some insight into her behaviour so you can understand, to a certain extent, where she's coming from.
Still I agree that there's no excuse for her behaviour. It was not okay. She disregarded your very clear boundary and is likely to do it again. Have you responded to her letter yet? I know you said you were about to move in together; is it possible to halt these plans and stay where you are, or temporarily live with someone else?

>>275416
This thread is for exclusively same sex attracted women. If OP wanted to hear from bisexuals then she would have gone to your musty little corner in the first place.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:35:15 PM No. 275420

>>275418
>musty little corner
kek

Unfortunately I'm completely in love so I don't know how to break it off. I wanted to marry her and I know she's going to do this shit again and again until there's nothing left of me but I can see myself walking into that just like I walked into this thing. I saw this "twist" coming, I'm not blind. I didn't end it then, how do I end it now?

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:37:20 PM No. 275421

>>275412
Also why are you so mad when I was just trying to understand OP's situation better? Op could've told me to go away if I made her uncomfortable but she didn't so I thought it was ok to give my input about her issues with a bi woman as a bi woman myself, I don't understand why you came with your retarded twitter "you all" butthurt reply when I was just trying to explain to her how her gf would always be bi no matter what but there are reasons why she could've had issues coming to terms with it?

Also you're fucking disgusting. A woman who got groomed isn't having a hard time accepting she's bi because of insecurity, it's because it reminds her of her past experiences. Yet it's true that still doesn't give her the right to deceive anon or emotionally dump her issues onto her like she's her therapist. Like honestly, calm down and check your words before you accuse a victim of grooming of being insecure of their sexuality just because you are.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:44:29 PM No. 275425

>>275420
It's so so difficult to leave the ones we love, even when they hurt us (maybe even especially so). It's terrible to see the life you wanted and were working towards suddenly fall apart like this… What helped me get away was realising it was all a sham from the start. It was never going to work. This dream was built on false pretences. Because she lied to you. She lied again and again, gleefully, without being forced, simply because it benefitted her. Nobody held her at gunpoint and forced her to say she's lesbian. She did that willingly, not caring about the consequences it would have for you or the relationship. Someone with such callous disregard for you does not deserve to be in your life.
Basically you just have to be brave. Just long enough to tell her it's over, make the arrangements to really end it (i.e. if she owes you a large amount of money or if you have contractual obligations together, etc. Otherwise imo it's really not worth it and you should just ghost/dump via text), and then cut contact forever. Make a list of reasons why you need to leave and reasons why you need to stay away. And if you can, get the support of friends and family who can back you up. You don't need to give them all the details, either, just let them know it's not going to work out and you need to lean on them for a bit. I believe in you. You can do what's right for you.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:46:42 PM No. 275426

>>275420
She's obviously still got her own issues from what she wrote to you and those issues will drain all of your energy as time goes on. Please don't let others use you like this emotionally, don't get into relationships with people who are clearly unstable. I don't know the extent of her lies but she obviously has unresolved trauma which will be much worse when it resurfaces. You should ideally take a break at least and think about it once you've cooled down a bit. You might love her but she tried to date men time and time again even though they ended up in failures, how can you be sure it won't happen again? Have you actually talked about this face to face?
>>275418
Get help. A simple discourse on an imageboard shouldn't drive someone to be this upset. I've seen "lesbian" anons in lesbian threads discuss yaoi or other male media but they didn't get called out at all even though they were obviously not speaking about women. I guess it's ok to be attracted to men or anime boys long as you lie about being lesbian.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:56:29 PM No. 275428

>>275426
>I've seen "lesbian" anons in lesbian threads discuss yaoi or other male media but they didn't get called out at all even though they were obviously not speaking about women.
>they didn't get called out
Have we been reading the same threads? Anytime an anon in here mentions liking BL or being fujo/yume/etc. at least 3 people tear her to shreds.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 03:57:44 PM No. 275429

>>275426
She dated one man at 14 for a few years LDR and then tried to sext her close friend once. Besides that, it's been crushes on women and a couple of girlfriends. Just wanna make sure I don't misrepresent her side of it.

But yes, ultimately it's very hard to find a reason to trust her. I'm not sure I'd have not fallen for her if she had just told me she's bi, I've always had an inkling but I kept telling myself I'm a shitty paranoid asshole. What fucks me up is that she felt okay hiding behind this excuse of "protecting me" or "loving me too much" when she made a very conscious choice at the very start to manipulate me.

She also just admitted via text that she did indeed check a man out right in front of me. I knew she did and I called it out at the time, she denied it. Ugh.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 04:04:32 PM No. 275431

>>275428
And at least 3 replies come to defend that anon and tell everyone anime boys or actors are totally different than irl men. Also you still didn't answer why you thought it was ok to call a grooming victim insecure for having issues coming terms with her sexuality. I get that you hate bisexuals or something but you really shouldn't make assumptions about a woman who's clearly unwell just because some bi girl fucked you over. She did lie to anon and anon should dump her ass and cuss her out if that helps but that doesn't mean you, a total sttanger, get to freely mock a woman whos clearly been sexually abused. You're disgusting for that and I won't reply further. I sincerely hope you get better.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 04:10:51 PM No. 275432

>>275429
Anon I do understand that but I don't think that's the only issue at hand. Even if she were a lesbian, her untreated mental health struggles would be terrible for you in the long run. I understand you love her and that's really incredible after what you've been through but I advise you not to keep this going unless she gets help. It might just be a few sexts with men for her but it's clear those short relationships have deeply hurt her and made her unable to bond with people in a healthy way. She shouldn't have lied or felt the need to lie to you, we don't even know how many things she possibly lied about so that you'd love her. As I said above I won't reply anymore but I hope for the best for you whichever choice you make but please consider your own mental health and the toll this had on you, she's the reason you're this stressed and if you keep dating her this won't be the last time she drives you to this state.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 04:11:31 PM No. 275433

>>275429
She doesn't deserve your trust. The fact that you feel raped is reason enough to break it off.
>>275431
I fail to see how calling out OP's gf's bad behaviour and saying no one should defend her or try to rationalise her actions equates to "mocking a woman whos clearly been sexually abused" but go off I guess. I also sincerely hope you get better, Nona, especially with your reading comprehension.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 04:48:36 PM No. 275438

>>275429
>she did indeed check a man out right in front of me. I knew she did and I called it out at the time, she denied it
Wtf, ew. I am socially retarded and even I can see this is a red flag abort abort situation. If she has zero issues to so blatantly disrespect you, your boundaries and your relationship while you are standing right there she is not over men like she claims to be. Tbh it looks more like she is using women to run away from sexual trauma but the moment she will meet a nigel that's "not like other men" it's game over for whatever little lesbian charade she's putting on.
She was never "loving you too much" if she was checking out men right in front of you, period

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 05:01:48 PM No. 275439

>>275438
Thank you. I'm still reading her type text after text about how the guy was just model-looking and I was so much more interesting than him but she just glanced, etc etc. There are tons of beautiful women out there and I still don't check them out in front of her, it's really not hard. I wouldn't even be offended if she accidentally looked at women for a moment, to be honest. Just the lesbian charade while implying she's afraid I'm the bi one is what really got me. I get the psychology behind all that she's doing but holy shit, I just made a huge life decision to join my life with hers and she's still obfuscating. not sure I can get over the cowardice of it all.

I'll be actively pursuing more lesbian friends and slowly open myself up to someone else coming to my life at this point. I'll be too weak to let her go at least for a while but I don't respect her like I did before. I told her to just be the febfem that she clearly is. I won't out her to her friends or family but I'm definitely not going to see her the same ever again.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 05:53:11 PM No. 275459

>>275388
It's perfectly ok to not want yo date bisexuals - but did you specify you only want to date "gold stars"? I do think it's a bit unfair to label her as bisexual based on one relationship (a LD one too) when she was a literal teenager. Some people need to search around for themselves to be sure, and for homosexuals it's common to "try to be straight". Be her sexuality whatever, lesbian or bi, but you need to break up. In your next relationship you need to make it EXPLICITLY clear you do not want anyone who has had sexual contact with men, I don't think you can find peace otherwise. Even if you believe she is bi, she might actually think she is a lesbian 100%, and doesn not even think she "tricked" you. I personally think it is a bit unfair to only classify "gold stars" as lesbians, like I said not everyone finds themselves right away, but if that is your definition you HAVE to make it clear next time.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 06:22:43 PM No. 275466

>>275459
She did make it clear and her gf not only lied to her about her past but also actively checks out guys right in front of her, then denies doing so. How did you miss that? Why is everyone so quick to defend and make excuses for this 30 yr old woman who coerced OP into a sexual relationship with blatant lies?

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 06:26:18 PM No. 275467

>>275459
OP here, It's crazy how bisexuals love to tell me they just don't think I made it clear when I've said I've made it clear many times in this thread as well as fucking IRL. Please stop telling lesbians our boundaries magically avert your consciousnesses. Nah, I made it explicitly clear to her and that is literally why she knew to withhold the truth about her sexuality. She knew what she was doing. We're both grown adults.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 07:03:28 PM No. 275477

>>275466
>>275467
Sorry, I have not followed the drama before these posts today, I did not see OP saying she did specify she only wanted to be with women who have never been with men. I just meant she might count herself as a lesbian even if she was with a moid over a decade ago, just wanted to defend lesbians who find themselves later on. In any case, you are not for each other and should break up ASAP if you have done so already.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 07:18:37 PM No. 275483

>>275477
It was never about being a goldstar, please. It was that she didn't try sex as self harm or in a coercion setting. She, as an adult, continued to masturbate to porn of men jerking off and find their bodies attractive. That is not a late bloomer lesbian, that is a bihet. She loves women deeper, I don't doubt her. But she's just not a lesbian.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 07:29:23 PM No. 275488

>>275483
Oh alright I see, good point. What makes her a bihet rather than just bi though, isn't bihet a bisexual who has never dated the same sex?

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 07:32:43 PM No. 275491

File: 1657913563538.jpg (56.16 KB, 960x902, imdone.jpg)

>>275488
Bihet as in a slur for bi, i'm being extra biphobic today sorry. I'm victimized on this particular day.

Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri) 11:37:06 PM No. 275545

Question about "gold star lesbians"… Is that women who's never slept with men or women who's both never slept with OR dated men? Personally i've never slept with men or done anything sexual but i've dated them. I still identify as lesbian though. I've been in the closet. Not that it matters that much but kinda curious to hear some opinions on lesbians like myself.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 12:56:25 AM No. 275557

>>275545
Yeah gold star just means no sexytime with a man. But you have to get a Lesbo License before you get the goldstar stamp, and to get your Lesbo License you have to journey into the citadel of Lesbia and fist fight Ellen Degeneres and build an Ikea shelf and only then will the Citadel allow your entrance. I am not allowed to say what you have to do to get your Lesbo License , the League of Lesbos may find me, i mean i wish i could so you could prepare. Well one important part of the License application is tha

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 06:11:35 AM No. 275591

>>275396
end it. could you imagine lying to or deceiving a partner? of course not, it's disgusting behavior, and only paints the future. once a liar, always a liar and they'll try to justify their shitty behavior now but they'll also just find new justifications in the future after you forgive them. one of my exes lied all the time, lied to my face, and it was so shitty to look her in the eyes and know she was choosing to deceive me for her own gain. being with someone like that wears down your trust of others, idk if i'll fully trust someone again. don't stay and let that happen to you, good luck with this

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 11:16:16 AM No. 275615

>>275591
I got shitfaced and then went back to her place in the middle of the night. Yelled at her some, passed out at the foot of the bed i no longer feel good about lying in. Like a stupid ass cat. I don't feel like a human being, this process is too taxing for me.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 12:29:06 PM No. 275618

>>275615
You're traumatised. Your world has essentially been upended by her revealing her lies to you and tearing apart the vision you had for your future. Let yourself grieve. Give yourself time. And please get away from her, and stay away as much as possible. There's no salvaging this relationship after she essentially raped you for months… If you stay with her you won't be able to heal, much less move on. If you have anyone else in your life that you can depend on, now is the time to reach out. Please. For your own sake.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 01:14:06 PM No. 275619

>>275545
You can't be a lesbian if you dated men willingly. You're just bi. Swear to god half of you in this thread are bi and that's why seeing the bi women gets you so mad.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 01:46:46 PM No. 275626

>>275619
some women have to keep an act up while closeted.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 01:55:17 PM No. 275627

>>275626
No they don't. Unless they're in a very religious country and get forced to marry a man to ensure their safety, they're bi for dating a man. I don't understand why you hate the idea of being bi so much yet excuse dating or in some cases having sex with men under the umbrella of lesbianism. If a woman dated a man or fucked a man, she's bi, no way around it (I'm not counting literal sexual abuse or rape ofc).
If she gets excited to the visuals of a man imagined or real, she's bi. If she wanted to date a man for romantic reasons even once, she's bi. More than half of you are bi by definition, most of you have even dated or had sexual relations with men. That's not being closeted - it's being bi and only associating with men before you realize you also like women.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 02:21:33 PM No. 275630

>>275627
Agree. For me I draw the line at any sustained romantic relationship with a man, especially one that that includes kissing/touching/consensual physical intimacy. I claimed to ""like"" a boy in my first grade class probably because he looked like a girl kek just because I thought I was supposed to, but in the end barely interacted w him. Since then it was just moids hitting on me with zero success. The longest relationship I ever had with a guy was at 15 or 16, talking online for a few hours before ghosting because something felt wrong. All this interspersed with crushing on and dating other females, and my "boyfriends" were all FTM troons. I'm not saying it's easy to unlearn female socialisation, and it sucks to grow up in a world where your self worth correlates with male attention, but how hard is it to stay away from men? How do you ignore that awful feeling, ranging from an uncomfortable "oh no I simply cannot do this" to the red alarm screaming ABORT ABORT ESCAPE? …Unless you don't actually have it. If you're actually repulsed by men then you're not going to seek out, much less stay in relationships with them.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 02:29:40 PM No. 275631

>>275626
nobody is making them date people. there are plenty of straight women who have never landed any dates. that excuse makes no sense to me, its not like its an arranged marriage.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 02:30:07 PM No. 275632

>>275615
show some self respect. is this your first breakup? hard to believe you'd be so invested in a months-long relationship in your late 20s. you were warned before, you're being warned again now, and you are doomed to failure if you don't nip this now sternly and clearly. there is always someone else out there for you, and surely someone that wouldn't violate your trust and lie to you

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 03:16:00 PM No. 275634

>>275615
This is too much. Just END IT.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 03:20:57 PM No. 275636

>>275619
Sone women have to search around to be sure. Maybe they dated or even had sex with a man, even several, and only later realized they do not even like it. Many have only realized later not everyone is in love with their female friends and just feels obligated to date a moid because of muh society.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 03:27:48 PM No. 275638

For me the reason I dated men was I didnt realize how I felt and thought I was straight but i'm not, and because I kind of wanted to be I guess. Im already a weirdo so I didnt want another label on myself. Not sure I can count as bi since I have tried before but I cant have a relationship with a man thats how disgusted I amn. Most men I dated I never even kissed I kind of just kept seeing them to see if my feelings would change but it just fizzled out to nothing. Ive tried using tinder to date women for years on and off to no avail but lately its going pretty well actually so I hope I can get a date soon. I know im attracted to women only and with men its kind of like a deep friendship that lacks attraction. I guess if that still means im bi its fine but I have started to see myself more as lesbian since its called a sexuality and mine doesnt lean towards men what so ever beyond friendship.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 03:48:57 PM No. 275644

so today i went to pride with some friends and it got completely rained out. my friends were visiting from another city so i took them back to my apartment (it’s a tiny one room studio and only has a bed and no couch) and they took showers and napped in my bed whilst their clothes were drying. my girlfriend was visiting family so she wasn’t home and when i told her about what happened she assumed i let my friends sleep in the bed in their dirty wet clothes from the day and she only calmed down when i explained to her that i am a good host and a sane person so i obviously let them shower and borrow pajamas before letting them lay on our bed.

i am a nice person but my girlfriend thought i was a total doormat and would just let them do that. i am shocked that she would think of me or my friends that way. even when they were clean and dry they asked if it would be okay to lay down in the bed before doing so

maybe i am too nice usually. this has got me questioning everything. i just hate that my girlfriend assumes i am a useless incompetent person or that my friends are rude

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 04:02:11 PM No. 275647

question: why are gay men who have been in decades long marriages with women and fathered children still considered gay but women who have had even non sexual relationships with moids are bihet

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 04:43:24 PM No. 275653

>>275647
Because some anons aren't in cultural bubbles or have the types of people pleasing personalities that cause some gay people to stay hidden, so they take it out on those who did. Sex as self harm is possible, so is using someone for social capital which is cruel to the het person being strung along but it happens.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 04:58:00 PM No. 275657

>>275630
You're a lesbian, other anons are coping bis. It's ok to be bi but because they have such selfhate they'll always hold onto an alien identity and pretend to be lesbians while talking about the three men they fucked and the ten they dated.
>>275647
If they weren't forced to marry they're also bi, retard. You're just bi if you fucked a guy. Real gay men and women don't fuck or fall in love with opposite sex. Stip thinking being bi is evil and embrace yourself.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 04:59:06 PM No. 275658

>>275636
Yeah some women are like that. They're bi women. You seriously can't pretend like lesbian women fuck several men willingly "just to be sure", right?..

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 05:16:14 PM No. 275663

>>275657
>>275658
You do realize homosexuality has not been the biggest hoot for a very long time, and outside of recent western world it still is not? And even in many western places with religious/conservative communities it is still very frowned upon? How is it so hard to think someone could try to force themselves to be straight? Even if no outside coercion is not present, people would still want to avoid the shunning of their communities (or even milder reasons).

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 05:27:15 PM No. 275669

>>275653
i'd feel deep disgust in myself for using a het person like that, can't imagine it. can't justify this shit in matters of love. might be ok if its an agreed-upon beard situation

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 06:50:06 PM No. 275683

>>275663
Bitch you're fucking bi if you fucked multiple men. What's wrong with you?
>>275669
In most of those weird relationships, the bi person does enjoy being with their partner sexually but also fucks samesex people on the side, not that different than a straight person cheating. There are exceptions where lesbian women or gay men could actually be forced to marry but that pretty much only happens in very conservative Muslim countries, none of the anons arguing are like that.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 07:21:33 PM No. 275687

>>275657
So here is the thing, nobody said someone who enjoys sex with the opposite sex is gay. What I was describing was accepting rape on purpose, even though it feels like rape and not sex. Yes there are people who are so broken down by life that they allow themselves to be raped while keeping the guise of being straight. It's not common in the west obviously but it is elsewhere.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 08:11:18 PM No. 275696

>>275687
are you describing a man keeping a lesbian woman captive and raping her despite knowing she's gay? sounds like some taliban shit

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 08:36:27 PM No. 275698

>>275687
If you accept it it's not rape. I was actually raped and you fucking men and then claiming you're a lesbian so that's totally rape even if you seeked it out makes me ill.
>>275696
She's crazy.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 09:24:57 PM No. 275707

>>275683
>Bitch you're fucking bi if you fucked multiple men. What's wrong with you?
This was about how some homosexuals might marry the opposite sex or try relationships like that, not people who genuinely enjoy straight sex but are totes gay

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 09:46:57 PM No. 275709

>>275707
>homosexual
>willingly marry or date the opposite sex
Kek.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 10:18:42 PM No. 275717

>>275709
Such a girlboss, I'm so glad you have a family that doesn't threaten to abandon you. Not everyone has the same life as you Becky.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 10:36:09 PM No. 275719

i think there's room for nuance here, lesbians can bloom late. but having heterosexual sex because you can't or won't come out of the closet isn't rape and is disrespectful to real victims. at best it's self harm

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 10:55:55 PM No. 275724

>>275687
This is the most idiotic take I have ever read. Don't compare consensual sex with rape. Even if you're saying it was coerced sex you need to make that specification. Some of us on here have been through "corrective" rape which is not the same as a lesbian seeking out a male sex partner to see if they might be straight/bi because of comphet.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 10:59:02 PM No. 275725

>>275719
I said it feels like it. As in, something that is wrong and mechanical and violating. Idk who said it's literal rape, not me thpugh.

Anonymous 07/16/22 (Sat) 11:52:42 PM No. 275731

>>275725
as long as you're aware of the huge diff between the two nonnie it's good. rape needs an aggressor and explicit violation of non-consent. consenting to heterosexual sex is just self harm.
>>275396
this example is actual rape, a flagrant violation of blinders nonnie's non-consent and no different than if a moid removed a condom mid sex when protection was agreed to.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:03:24 AM No. 275735

>>275717
So funny how you fuck men without a shame but cry when someone tells you that's not how lesbians are. You know you're bi and that's why you get so triggered at the mention of bi women.
If you really dated simply because your family pressured you, you surely wouldn't have done anything sexual with a man. Also it's so weird how you willingly fuck men and then accuse call it rape, you're literally disrespecting women who actually got raped just because you can't admit you like dick and seek it out. You can't willingly sleep with someone and call it rape be you're insecure of your attraction to men.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:04:59 AM No. 275736

>>275731
Nta, but you're not saying what anon's girlfriend did (telling her she's lesbian when she might be bi) is rape right? I don't keep up with this thread, but I really hope I'm misunderstanding this kek

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:05:21 AM No. 275737

>>275725
Comparing something you consented to to rape just because you can't admit you seek out cocks is literally so disrespectful to actual victims. No matter how hard you try, you can't fool anyone into thinking it's rape when you serially date and fuck men.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:07:49 AM No. 275739

>>275736
Anything is rape when it's convenient for these women. That anons gf fucked men without consent(groomed at 14) but she's supposed to be a bi rapist but other anons whoring around with multiple men are valid lesbians and the men they fucked were obviously at fault. They're calling anyone rapist like it's a light word. It not.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:10:46 AM No. 275741

>>275736
anon specifically told her gf that she didn't want a sexual relationship with a bisexual, and her gf strung her along claiming to be lesbian because she was afraid of losing anon. whatever anon's reasons are, she didn't consent to having sex with a bisexual and explicitly told her gf this. i doubt cops or a court would care of the minutia here and would find no wrong-doing but as far as anon's non-consent is concerned its rape. at the very least its more rape-adjacent than a lesbian having consensual heterosexual sex

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:16:22 AM No. 275744

>>275741
>at the very least its more rape-adjacent than a lesbian having consensual heterosexual sex
No, not really. I'm not sure if anyone here has a complete grasp on the word rape.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:16:34 AM No. 275745

>>275741
If the gf is bisexual by your standards so are you because you also fucked men, though you weren't a teenager who got groomed so you don't have any excuses.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:18:17 AM No. 275746

>>275744
How can a lesbian have consensual hetero sex? It'd make her bi. A lot of anons itt are coping bi women and I really do believe that's why they got so mad at bi women who are out. They'll go on about fucking multiple men to self harm then turn around and call bi women biwhores. It's all projection.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:30:43 AM No. 275749

>>275745
this is a mixup, I never said lesbians have sex with men lol. anon's gf masturbates to men in porn and checks them out infront of anon

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:34:25 AM No. 275750

>>275749
Having sex with men is a more reliable source than looking at men irl. You literally fuck men tok and by that logic you're also a rapist to your gfs - and to the men you fuck because you didn't disclose you're a "lesbian"(you're not).

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:41:33 AM No. 275751

why do husbando fag lesbians turn me off so much. why are you as a gay woman so invested in men whether its fictional or real life!

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:42:22 AM No. 275752

>>275751
They're not lesbians if they're attracted to men, retard. That's why they annoy you so much.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 12:59:24 AM No. 275755

>Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win!

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 01:22:56 AM No. 275759

>>275491
That's what it is? Damn all this time I just thought bihet was an abbreviated way to say "bisexuals and heterosexuals."

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 03:51:42 AM No. 275787

>>275735
You are talking to multiple anons, I never said anything about rape. I just want to defend late bloomers, and I would not call their struggle ""whoring around"". Again, no one was talking about calling yourself a lesbian and THEN fucking men. Are you aware you also need to be a female to be a lesbian? Your word choices are quite scrotey.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 04:16:08 AM No. 275791

>>275787
I'm convinced a lot of posts ITT and in the bi thread (not just this week but for ages) are troon and scrote bait made to create this kind of drama

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 05:01:31 AM No. 275796

>>275791
NTA but the amount of people with clear chips on their shoulders is astounding, even for an imageboard considering we're meant to be mostly women. You never see these dweebs irl either, they're too bitter to have any gay friends. We're all sick of them lol

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 07:17:32 AM No. 275811

>>275791
Has to be. "Divide and conquer" is as old as time.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 07:57:20 AM No. 275814

>>275759
Isn't bihet a bi person who only has hetero relations? Even if not, it's not a slur and anon id retarded for that.
>>275787
Those aren't late bloomers oh my god. You can't fuck and date men for years and say you're a lesbian after you start dating women, why can't you accept that it's bi? Why do you anons say you did lots of shit with men but you're still lesbians(lmao no) but then assume that other anons gf was bi solely because she got groomed by a man once? Why can't you also understand you're bi like you understand she is?
>>275791
Telling someone they're bi if they willingly date and have consensual sex with men isn't trolling. Anon literally said she consented to straight sex but it was like rape. She also slept with men and accused anons gf of raping her because she kept that fact hidden yet that's exactly what she did herself. The overuse of rape and excusing their attraction and sexual relations with men means they're coping.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 09:34:48 AM No. 275824

>>275814
Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 10:16:04 AM No. 275837

>>275814
>Telling someone they're bi if they willingly date and have consensual sex with men isn't trolling.
The trolling is the constant, daily, obsessive shit-flinging you engage in, not the topic itself. Half the posts in this thread are infighting. You aren't "winning" or sticking up for yourself or whatever it is you think you're doing, you're giving trolls exactly what they want and destroying the threads.
>>275791
Yep the early threads were pretty cozy. Less active but at least the posts were usually on-topic and not retarded. Some trannies noticed how effective the bi vs les discourse is at shutting down the thread and now here we are.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 01:02:37 PM No. 275864

>>275837
Do you think we could have two threads or something? The regular lesbian general, and then the female sexuality infighting general.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 02:30:26 PM No. 275876

>>275864
>female sexuality infighting general.
kek. Honestly they should just start taking it to the Questioning thread. This thread is not for discussion of males and attraction toward males, and that includes 24/7 REEEEEfests about the exact definition of "attraction toward males". Nonnas gotta stop letting men and bihets live rent-free in their heads.

Anyway I'm gonna be the change I wanna see in the world and post something that's not about men.
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
We meet up to go out for lunch or something but the restaurant is closed so instead we get drive-thru and drive around and talk. We really hit it off and she tells me she's kinda happy our 'real' date fell through because she hates crowds and dealing with the public, I tell her I feel the same way and we bond over being hermits. The next time we meet up we just have a hermit date at my place. I cook for her and she meets my cat and loves him. We watch a movie and smoke a joint and make out a little but we don't go further yet because we've both had bad experiences in the past and wanna take it slow. She is funny and kind and doesn't have pronouns.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 04:36:43 PM No. 275912

>>275876
I think i know who you are but damn i want to date like that too ahh but napping on my favourite mountain together instead

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 05:15:18 PM No. 275936

File: 1658078118923.jpg (72.74 KB, 540x541, lezbuzz.jpg)

Anon from the last thread who couldn't tell if a hot woman with a buzzcut was gay or not: She's not. And ever since I mentioned an ex girlfriend off handedly she's been treating me oddly, like I'm incapable of controlling myself around hets and I'll maul her at any second.
Obviously women can dress and present themselves however they want but I wish there was still something to count on as an exclusively lesbian thing.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 05:21:12 PM No. 275944

>>275936
Gender nonconformity has always been our thing but it's probably good that hets are also loosening up I guess. Still I feel the same, feels like we're losing ways of finding each other in a sea of rainbows.

Anonymous 07/17/22 (Sun) 06:17:01 PM No. 275952

>>275936
>>275944
These days I just anyone GNC is a gender-haver. Fucking sad, but true. Before I was always so excited to see other possibly gay people.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 08:41:58 AM No. 276165

I'm a gold star lesbian myself but I just don't understand what's the big deal about anon's girlfriend being bi. I get the need to be with someone who fully understands you because I'd naturally rather date another lesbian myself, but my current girlfriend is bisexual and it never seemed like that huge of a problem to me. Maybe I'm just missing something in this story but the strange puritanism and melodrama about anon forcing her girlfriend to admit that she's a dirty bisexual and not a real lesbian seems a tad unhinged to me.

Also the weird unempathetic attitude towards women who have to have opportunistic relations with men in order to survive or who were groomed when they were still figuring their sexuality out is some polilez bullshit, I mean baby lesbians are still susceptible to being abused and influenced because they're still women and women are often conditioned to seek for male validation at whatever cost. It's not like some innate lesbian spirit just possesses you and stops the moid in his tracks or magically sews your vagina shut when he's forcing himself on you, I actually see red whenever I see this idiotic "oh a man raped you? then you're bi sweetie" narrative repeated because being denied your true self is a part of the lesbian experience for many women even today. Not every lesbian has the privilege of developing in a nurturing environment where being homosexual is an option.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 09:04:21 AM No. 276167

>>276165
The most ironic thing is, the anon who said the bi girl raped OP for not telling op she's bi is probably bi herself. She said she slept with multiple men and it also was "rape"(used the exact same wording so it proves it's the same anon as before) because the men should've magically guessed she's a lesbian and totally not into it as she sucked them off. She also assumed the groomed girl was bi for getting groomed while admitting she willingly had sex with multiple men again and again. A lesbian could be groomed but a lesbian definitely wouldn't fuck multiple men willingly.
Op was lied to and should break up with her girlfriend but she wasn't raped. Neither was the bi girl in denial when she fucked men.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 01:21:54 PM No. 276209

>>276165
The fact that she admitted to going the the exs (?) house drunk to rampage took it to unhinged levels for me.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 01:56:16 PM No. 276235

>>276209
We were not broken up yet, I was just drunk and missed her. We talked a lot, cried a lot and yeah I did yall at her because she spent months telling me she thinks I'll turn out to be bi when she's the one who might be. I was in the right, so I said some really bad shit to her which she just took. I've since retracted what she didn't deserve to hear but some stuff she was absolutely so wrong on. In the end she never had anything with any male after that groomer and one night after being dumped be a woman where she tried to sext a male friend she knew liked her and hated it. I can't tell of shes kinsey 5 or just traumatized. I want to be there for her and see if we can make it work. She is not even a good liar, I secretly already noticed all the things she confessed to and saw this twist coming. I let it happen. The "gawking" at a guy in front of me is tough, but she wasn't staring and it wasn't a salacious look, I just saw that she noticed the man's above average looks. Is that me making excuses? Maybe!

She said she will never do this to a lesbian again but I couldn't convince her to explore and just figure her shit out. She said she hates the idea of herself interacting with a male and won't touch a dick. She has isolated instances of masturbating to lone men or men with other men but a het coupling seems like something she viscerally can't enjoy. Whether she is bi with trauma or a lesbian that got bad shit wired into her brain from years of grooming… idk. Does it matter? I deradicalized myself a bit on my fear of being left for a man. It has happened to me before with bi's and it'll hurt but I have a lot with her still.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 02:43:21 PM No. 276251

>>276235
Just break up, leave her alone. Nothing good will come of this. She will not be what you want, not ever.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 02:50:23 PM No. 276254

>>276235
>The "gawking" at a guy in front of me is tough, but she wasn't staring and it wasn't a salacious look, I just saw that she noticed the man's above average looks.
So she was just recognizing a man as an objectively attractive human being just like you did? Honestly anon I don't understand why you're making such a scene about your girlfriend being possibly bisexual because she was abused by men in the past or even if she legitimately is bi, who cares? It sounds more and more like she loved you and was concerned about your militant alignment against dating bisexuals which made her lie about being a full on lesbian just to not hurt your feelings. Agree with >>276251 , just break it up. You're not going to work out and you're going to resent her for being bi for all eternity.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 02:53:21 PM No. 276256

>>276235
lots of obvious red flags from both of you for this relationship… however were I in your shoes I would lean on close friends for advice… truthfully we do not know you or her

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 03:05:26 PM No. 276260

>>276254
I did not find him attractive but I was relaying what she said of him after the fact. And it's not just me, she was just as opposed to dating a bi as me due to past experiences herself. I do know it's an extreme stance but it's not like I'm the only one of us who is afraid that we will be compared to men and lose. It's happened to us both before, ofc we both have issues around that.

>>276256
Totally fair. I don't have a good support network these days, not a gay one anyway so anyone I consult will look at me like I'm insane and while my biphobia is intense, it's not for no reason. Just been hurt and don't want to explain why being gay is difficult to my het family and friends. I have one lesbian friend and she has been much more nuanced, kind in her advice.

the "was it rape" discourse was too much also, its in a noncon realm but its definitely not rape.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 04:03:53 PM No. 276268

>>276165
I still think it’s bait

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 06:21:07 PM No. 276281

>>276209
They sound like 18-19 year old retards and they should both work on themselves and their issues before dating again. Anon blamed a groomed woman and attacked her iver her sexual abuse, her gf lied to her about her past of sexual abuse because she was scared she'd get mocked for it which turned out to be true.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 06:24:22 PM No. 276282

>>276268
Doubleposting, that might be true. There's a troll in bi thread too so it wouldn't be shocking to if she also came to this thread to hate on random bi women. It could even be the same tranny that made girls loving girls thread trolling these threads too.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 06:37:54 PM No. 276283

>>276282
Idk about the same one, unless it changes its typing style knowingly. The bi thread shit flinger however has same style as the one on here.

Anonymous 07/18/22 (Mon) 06:54:14 PM No. 276285

>>276281
I actually came over here to write something like this because it bothered me. Sad that because people larp lesbians so much some online lesbians have this toxic purity thing going on. I get it but it does sound so incel like. Both of them sound like this is their second or third relationship and OP gets jealous of past relationships when neither knew each other existed. Hopefully both of them can get help if this isn't a troll.

>>276283
Agree, there's been someone new and pretty aggressive on here in all the lgb type threads.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 04:40:53 AM No. 276417

>>276285
The infighting is insane lately. I don't want to take this conversation any further but why is every hypothetical late bloomer in this scenario some sort of succubus who sucked twenty cocks? The first anon said her bi gf had a single male LDR years ago. There are gay people who pressured themselves into a relationship or sex once and regretted it, not to mention standard pressure and coercion from male peers throughout life for lesbians. Idk why it has to be so black and white, shit's complicated.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 04:54:41 AM No. 276419

the women in this thread are absolutely fucking mentally ill and paranoid

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 05:05:44 AM No. 276421

why even bother talking about bisexuals in this thread kek

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 05:07:22 AM No. 276423

>>276417
it's like do they think that homophobia isn't an actual problem that affects people's behavior? or does it just happen when they find it suitable, like people believe social pressure can make a lesbian to go and fucking sterilize herself and cut her tits off just to be seen as heterosexual but that for some reason isn't a radical thing to do to your body because of homophobia but holding hands with a man would be absolutely impossible
and way too much >>275619

how can escorts go to dates with men they're not attracted to? how can prostitutes have sex with people they aren't attracted to? people always just do things they like? sexuality is either rape or uwu beautiful lovely thing every time with no complexity around it?

social pressure has absolutely no effect on anyone? why does bullying make people off themselves? why do women go and bleach their assholes?

like i get it you are paranoid and burnt up by all the nonsense about forcing dick and males at lesbians but some lesbian holding hands with a guy when she was 13 is not the reason for why that is happening like she's not about to make men rape you or some shit

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 05:18:36 AM No. 276424

>>276423
gotta double post because i just can't believe how black and white, or sheltered or bubbled or whatever view you gotta have about life if you think dating without sex if some sort of deal breaker if someone's a lesbian or not, like if you don't live in a literal shithole country homophobia just doesn't pose such a huge problem that it would make a woman to go on a date with a man, while you have women literally cutting up their genitals, starving themselves to death, getting their faces practically replaced with someone else's face, doing all these fucked up things with and to their bodies because of different kind of social pressures but human sexuality is apparently something that never, ever could be affected by such thing enough for a woman or girl to try holding hands with a man kek??

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 07:11:59 AM No. 276434

>>276423
Straight escorts who were mostly coerced into industry aren't the same as a bi girls with long histories of dating men who are pretending to be lesbian itt. So many bi women are pretending to be lesbians and then shaming bi women because they remind them of their fraudulent identity. This never happens irl so I'm tempted to believe the anons doing this are chronically online polilezzies who hate themselves for being attracted to men.

That anons gf was groomed which means her experience doesn't mean she's bi, though a lot of women itt admitted to dating and sleeping with men willingly. They're bi. There's no such thing as a latebloomer lesbian, you don't cut off your tits or start hormones, you don't fuck men because of lesbianism. Those surgeries are just stuff mentally ill women do regardless of sexuality.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 07:57:31 AM No. 276441

File: 1658217451247.jpg (974.45 KB, 1536x2048, Tumblr_l_269967280522169.jpg)

When a woman's topless but wearing baggy jeans and a belt, it just looks great. One of my favorite looks. I find it kinda odd I don't see it much. Wearing lingerie doesn't do anything for my horniness for some reason. Maybe it looks better in person than in photos?
I wear mens jeans and a belt for my job, and wearing that while topless always makes me feel weird even if it's only like that for just a second while dressing.
It's something about being butch, not caring about what you wear, and the crotch musk from exercising. When I eat someone out (hopefully one day) I'm going to sniff real hard and hope she doesn't use extremely strong smelling soap.
In the photo she's not topless but I hope it helps paint the picture.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 08:54:20 AM No. 276446

>>276441
>crotch musk
Only males are this fucking disgusting.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 10:23:49 AM No. 276454

>>276441
>>276446
Unless you're going down on her in the shower, your partner's vulva shouldn't ever taste like soap. you're only supposed to use unscented soaps near your vulva, because fragrances could cause an UTI or yeast infection. There's a middle ground between "perfumed" and "sweaty," it's called normal.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 11:23:35 AM No. 276462

>>276454
You're talking to some hentai-brained 4chan incel who has taken the "imagine the smell, bros" too be serious.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 01:24:27 PM No. 276469

>>276446
>>276462
An anon expressed a sexual thought in the lesbian thread? Sacre bleu! Look I get it, this thread does get hit by moids but at some point you're gonna have to accept that some women just speak plainly about their sexual thoughts. We can't all be hand holding, hair braiding, polite cottagecore ladies. Go talk to lesbians offline, FFS. This moid paranoia is getting out of hand.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 01:26:16 PM No. 276470

>>276446
>women can't be gross!!!!
This site has provided more proof against this belief than any other site, not just from anons but from cows.

Every woman is not exactly like you.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 01:27:18 PM No. 276471

>>276470
Just polilez drivel, truly we are cursed with the most insecure bad actors.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 02:10:21 PM No. 276477

>>276434
you are severely mentally ill. you are either autistic or suffer from some sort of personality disorder to have such limited, black and way view on how humanity works

by the way, do you believe it is somehow more natural for straight women to date men they aren't attracted to? it is just some inherent part of their sexuality? how is it possible to coerce women into sex industry in first world countries where social security is a thing? why does prostitution exist in places like sweden lmao how can anyone be coerced there if they just can go to the wellfare office?

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 02:20:43 PM No. 276479

>>276477
like all those detransitioned women who said that homophobia was big reason for them to go and try to be men so that they would be straight are just lying? thy just do it to fuck up lesbians's reputation or whatever you think is that they are doing?
it is just their mental illnesses fault that they stupidly let society's homophobia affect them that way, what happened to them absolutely has nothing to do with social pressure but lol if they just hadn't been mentally ill they wouldn't had homophobia affect them that way?? so in that case social pressure and homophobia aren't the actual problems that could make people mentally ill, being mentally ill is, homophobia just isn't some actual issue that can make people go bonkers it is just some lite oppression that makes you little sad sometimes

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 04:07:37 PM No. 276489

>>276423
>>276424
Yeah the strange would-be gatekeepers in this thread who keep repeating "you're all bi" probably walk around with a chip on their shoulders about some kinsey 1 bihet leading them on and dumping them for a man, so in their head everyone who wasn't born the most lesbianest lesbian who ever lesbianed and instead took a left turn in a homophobic society in an attempt to force herself to like men is a cock addict preying on them. I really don't understand how it's so hard for them to believe that not all lesbians had a name for their feelings growing up, seeing how lesbianism isn't treated as nothing more than either girls experiencing puppy love girlcrushes or just a big sexual performance for moids. Like you said, plenty of FTMs are self-hating lesbians who wanted to become straight men to escape either their internalized homophobia or the oppression around them. Women are generally told that they're not supposed to be happy in a relationship or enjoy sex because they should focus on sacrificing themselves for men. Sometimes it feels like the stars have to be aligned correctly in order to grow up as a healthy, balanced lesbian who isn't crushed by the weight of the world giving her the options of either looking for the magical dick to cure her or just stop being a woman altogether. It's one thing to call bullshit on someone claiming to be a lesbian after multiple balanced and happy heterosexual relationships with men but entirely another if she was groomed and/or abused during her formative years in her past or tried to force herself into fixing herself.

>>276479
>homophobia just isn't some actual issue that can make people go bonkers it is just some lite oppression that makes you little sad sometimes
what

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 04:12:02 PM No. 276491

>>276479
>>276434
You are very young, aren't you?

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 04:21:43 PM No. 276492

File: 1658247703547.jpg (88.82 KB, 828x547, Tumblr_l_216425809412282.jpg)

Saw this and though of you guys

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 05:49:58 PM No. 276498

Astaghfirullah the lesboans are still arguing like gay retards

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 07:09:34 PM No. 276508

>>276446
>>276462
Oh my god shut the fuck up. Maybe you think the terminology is cringe but this is a goddamn lesbian thread. She can be horny for the smell of a woman's vulva if she wants, I feel the same and I think it's weird that you're so mad about it.
>>276470
She wasn't even being gross imo just horny. But of course some of the instigators itt think that lesbian attraction is gross.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 07:26:29 PM No. 276509

>>276508
>I feel the same and I think it's weird that you're so mad about it.
NTAYRT but I've been around the block in my 31 years and I've found that quite a lot of women enjoy the natural "musk" of a woman. I had a girlfriend who would jump my bones after I came back dripping sweat after my morning run and quite a few flings that started out as sweaty encounters at a boxing gym or on the dancefloor of a gay club. My wife also loves to see me sweating working out or (preferably, in her words) doing manual labour at our house; she finds it wholesome and attractive and I feel exactly the same way when she's working on the house too. I think it's a natural urge, pheromones and all that shit I don't quite understand properly. If anons are equating natural musk to something disgusting only a moid could be into and talk about then they need to check themselves for internalised misogyny tbh. They also need to stop chimping out when dykes talk about sex. Maybe sapphic wlw tumblr would be more their speed, kek.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 07:41:45 PM No. 276515

>>276441
Yeah going to agree with other anons, this "crotch musk sniffing" is a moid tier paraphilia that reminds me of their obsession with female armpit hentai. There's a range between "polilez cottagecore handholding" and writing a random "huffing on a stinky vulva" fetish post in the middle of a conversation outside of the "female fantasies" thread. Women can be gross, sure, but I also have the right to be grossed out by them not being able to keep their kinks and stinks in their pants.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 08:06:08 PM No. 276521

>>276441
This is the first time a post reads like a 100% troonbian to me.

>>276508
>>276515
Women know not to use soap down there like that. Definitely. A woman wouldn't be worried about it smelling like soap down there.. Liking the smell of vag is fine honestly, but horny typing style combined with the fact he doesn't know women do not use soap in there is just the whole package.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 08:15:41 PM No. 276523

>>276521
I'm pretty sure anon was talking about feminine wash, which a lot of women still use, and not like a literal bar of soap.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 08:17:25 PM No. 276524

>>276521
Not using soap, especially a strongly smelling one as the post described, is like the thing #1 we learn about female hygiene either being told so or by experiencing skin irritation and infections first hand. You absolutely do not fuck with the PH levels of your vagina and instead let it clean itself out.

Anonymous 07/19/22 (Tue) 09:22:02 PM No. 276533

>>274851
Late but for climbing anon, yes, it will fuck up your finger pads for a bit on climbing days, I use hand cream or hand salve and they're fine by the next day. If you go only once a week or so I can't see it being a major problem. I've been single since I started climbing though kek so take my words with a grain of salt.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 12:09:28 AM No. 276554

>>276523
Those too are not supposed to be used, you're not supposed to use anything there even water douching can cause problems. Is this an american thing? Just horrid

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 12:53:36 AM No. 276561

>>276509
Ayrt, I agree lol. My wife also likes me when I'm grimy and covered in sweat from work, even though I personally think I look like a wet rat. Not a weird thing to be into, it's like distilled essence of the person you like.
>>276521
>>276554
I hope it is an american only phenomenon and that women in other countries aren't being sold watermelon hibiscus scented pussy wash because yeah, it's a thing. And tbh it's not like most women will recognize or even heed their vagina's warning signs when it's also common to wax and shave and that causes an insane amount of irritation as well, and not just to the mons pubis. I knew someone who used to douche with summer's eve. Ugh.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 12:57:56 AM No. 276563

>>276554
I know you're not supposed to use feminine wash anon. A lot of women do though, so I was just pointing out that that's probably what OP meant.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 02:55:10 AM No. 276579

I want to stop touching myself I feel really shitty being in a relationship and doing this when she doesn’t do this .. I only do it once a week but it’s gotten to the point where I can’t orgasm having sex with her I have to vision other woman? It just makes me feel gross ..like some sort of scrote who’s cheating on their gf
I’m sorry if this is the wrong thread to post this I just thought maybe hopefully some other dykes could give me some advice?

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 06:32:24 AM No. 276602

>>276441
We had a male with scentfetish constantly post about pussy smell on /ot/ so even if your not a male, he's the reason everyones will think you are.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 06:35:23 AM No. 276604

>>276477
>>276479
Go to the bi thread. Of course all trannies are mentally ill, most ftm are in first world countries whereas those countries are the least homophobic, disproving you theory that homophobia directly causes people to transition.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 07:32:47 AM No. 276614

>>276492
great timing

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 02:21:42 PM No. 276665

>>276509
A voice of reason, thank fuck. I feel the same, my gf and I go nuts for each other when there's a bit of sweat. Too much sweat that's been sitting festering would be too much for us but a bit of a funk? Hot. I don't need to explain that shit to polilezzes whose sexuality solely revolves around denying men and thinking about them kek.

>>276521
>Women know not to use soap down there like that
This is so not true lol. I've had roommates in my 20s where they not only ued scented soaps but also got constant yeast infections that they felt were mysterious. Many women are not informed, especially in the US.

>>276579
It sounds like masturbation isn't the reason why you're drifting apart. There is something else going on, you need to think a bit harder on this. Assume that the masturbation isn't the culprit and see where it gets you imo.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 07:04:29 PM No. 276709

Vulva stank anon here. I didn't remember the soap infection issue in the post, and I was only thinking of "something that could cover the smell", but I've heard smelling agents cause a lot of problems anyway so thanks for the information. They're marketed only to women/girls where I live.

My post read like a moid post, but that's only because it was A) a virgin's sexual fantasy B) I have a a type of Autism. These things are often Male traits/only Males are known to have them, but they're not exclusive to them. If I referenced penetration or having a beard or what have you, then it would've been a moid post since women can't do that during sex. Even incessant moaning could be some nonna's favorite thing. Knowing the difference is good since we're all anons. Not only could litterally any anon be a moid, any could be a bot ran by a moid. Feel free to voice concerns, of course, if you see a moid post. I just wanted to throw in something else other than the Bisexual-or-not thread because I couldn't care less, people on this site can only gleam so much from some posts. It seems like that needs to be worked out offline.

Apologies, it was too much and should've been in the sexual fantasy thread.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 07:18:14 PM No. 276714

>>276709
nonny don't apologize. pussy musk smells amazing and I'm tired of pretending its not and I don't give a fuck how crass it is. Lesbians don't need to be shoved off in a sex thread so paranoid polilezies can talk about being single and wanting a gf without ~those demonic dyke thoughts corrupting them into being like moids~

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 07:37:04 PM No. 276721

>>276714
Straight women complain about dick stench and stinky sperm all the time and it doesn't make them less straight, just because people find suddenly talking about your very specific fetish for "crotch musk" vulgar and out of place doesn't mean they're against "demonic dyke thoughts".

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 08:11:27 PM No. 276737

File: 1658347887517.jpeg (27.04 KB, 600x514, E3doDw1X0AgsQi7.jpeg)

>Revisits thread 3 days later to find bi infighting and pussy stink arguments

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 08:14:30 PM No. 276738

>>276721
Those hets seem miserable. I'd never give oral to an appendage I think smells bad. Pussies smell and taste fantastic, yes even when they aren't freshly showered.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 08:17:58 PM No. 276740

>>276721
This was what I was thinking. Like I'm sure %1 straight women are into scent stuff but it's still uncomfortable when the %1 voices their niche fetish in a nonsexual thread. There are threads dedicated to fetishes and scent-anons can share their fetish there, I'm sure there'd be more likeminded anons.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 09:55:10 PM No. 276773

>>276709
Don't apologise, anon. You weren't overly sexual or crass and as a fellow autist I don't think it was your autism either. This is a thread relating to female sexuality so of course some of us mention sex. You're not some minority fetishist, pussy smells good! Some "lesbians" in this thread just live to clutch their pearls over something. Honestly I think it was very iconic of you to start WW3 in here and then bounce for a few days, kek. I would be like picrel here >>276737 if I was you.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 10:49:59 PM No. 276790

>>276740
>natural scent of a human vulva
>"niche fetish"
Muskhuffer anon was a bit blunt but all of you calling it a fetish post are seriously reaching. We're allowed to talk about sex in the lesbian thread. And if it really bothers you just ignore the post and move on jfc we're on like day 5 of the same infight, bi drama transitioned seamlessly into stank drama.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 11:41:13 PM No. 276793

imagine being unable to worship your gf's pussy because you're afraid of fetishizing her skin secretions.

Anonymous 07/20/22 (Wed) 11:49:23 PM No. 276794

>>276790
I'm not bothered by how a regular vagina smells because I don't even think about it, so it's not something I indulge in like it was the most sexiest thing to ever turn me on. To me that's literally on par with the terminally online 4chan users talking about licking armpits because of their meme pheromone fetish. To be so fixated on something specific and unconventional like that sounds suspicious as hell knowing we get troons hornyposting and fetishizing lesbianism all the time, why are anons so shocked that it would be interpreted as a male larping even if it was written by a woman? I swear a tranny could barge in and start talking about how hot eating shit is and some anons would just yass queen him and call others prudish polilezzies for telling them to take it to the sexual fantasy thread, then accuse others of infighting.

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 01:46:09 AM No. 276814

The problem with these threads is despite having some good discussions at times they're always going to be a top target for troon and moid bait because men simply can't cope with the knowledge that some women don't like penises

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 01:48:00 AM No. 276815

>>276794
>comparing eating natural pussy to shit and armpit hentai
cottagecore: not even once

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 07:49:56 AM No. 276841

>>276815
I love that cottagecore has become shorthand for clinical hypothetical woman loving kek

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 12:24:28 PM No. 276867

>>276815
I can't believe these people actually exist. Armpit fetish on par with liking how pussy smells. It's like Dworkin herself is posting.

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 01:50:04 PM No. 276878

>>276815
Seriously, polilezzies need to get out, make peace with their real sexuality and find their Nigels instead of polluting lesbian spaces

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 02:14:20 PM No. 276880

>>276793
Tenderly making love to my wife while we both wear hazmat suits so we don't fetishise each others female bodies. All the while the ghost of Andrea Dworkin looks on and smiles in approval.

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 07:18:50 PM No. 276930

>>276880
LMAO nonnie pls

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 09:25:15 PM No. 276955

How do you deal with the majority of women being man serving tranny loving fag hag handmaidens as someone whose sexuality predisposes you to wretch at that

Anonymous 07/21/22 (Thu) 09:25:45 PM No. 276956

>>276880
KEKK
>>276721
Lol fuck off. If straight women don't like the taste or smell of the penises on the men they're attracted to, that has nothing to do with me. Listen to yourself, it's a niche fetish and comparable to eating shit to like the smell of pussy? You know, the place I put my face during sex? Am I allowed to like the taste or is that a gross male fetish too? Pathetic interloper, you'll never know the touch of a woman.
>>276737
Sorry anon lol normally I'm so good at staying out of this shit but I really am starting to think half the posters itt are moids

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 03:20:42 AM No. 277004

>>276867
>>276880
Hopefully not too off topic since she is being mentioned, but idk anything about radfem stuff was Dworkin really a polilez? Did she write about cottage'lez' stuff?

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 06:31:34 AM No. 277028

>>277004
She did call herself a lesbian while being in a relationship with a man, on top of being mad at lesbians when they didn’t want to let someone’s boyfriend into lesbian spaces. Also iirc she compared man-hating lesbians to nazis, iirc “they treat men like nazis treated jews” kek. I hope some anon who has read her books can tell you more, this is just what I’ve seen on tumblr. And yes, she has never had a same-sex relationship either but was writing similarly to Adrienne Rich aka “lesbianism is a political choice and it means centering women in your life (also dragging your nigel to lesbian bars btw)”. I think if you google “dworkin political lesbianism”, you will find a long tumblr post about it with her quotes included tdlr - radfems invented political lesbianism and yet dykes still get shocked when radfem spaces are infested with polilezes

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 06:52:31 AM No. 277029

>>277004
She had a same-sex relationship with a woman named Joanne, and she also had a sexual relationship with her husband John, so she's Bisexual. Here's what she said at a lesbian rally about it:
"Second, being a lesbian means to me that there is an erotic passion and intimacy which comes of touch and taste, a wild, salty tenderness, a wet sweet sweat, our breasts, our mouths, our cunts, our intertangled hairs, our hands. I am speaking here of a sensual passion as deep and mysterious as the sea, as strong and still as the mountain, as insistent and changing as the wind."
full thing: http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/OurBloodII.html . Make of it what you will.
I believe she was sexually attracted to women but intertwined it with her feminism when she could, when they aren't the most compatible. Sexuality doesn't have moral limits like feminism does so they're bound to clash on principle. For example, Dworkin may support a lesbian couple at first but won't when one of the women is revealed to be abusive.

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 09:18:21 AM No. 277045

gonna ignore the infighting and come here and complain that i cant find a gf bc apps are fucking abysmal. wtf do i do

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 10:26:57 AM No. 277060

>>277045
Get out there in the real world and do stuff! Volunteer for a charity, join hobby groups, play sports, go to concerts, go to a pub quiz, etc etc etc. It's a cliché thing to say but love really does strike when you least expect it.

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 12:30:28 PM No. 277089

I saw a really cool butch looking security guard woman, ohh I fell in love in seconds

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 01:33:21 PM No. 277097

>>277045
Same. I just want a cute gnc lesbian gf, yet all the ones I find on apps that are my type physically are either fuckboys, polygamous people, bihets, "ethically non-monogamous", or straight up insane. I need to stop being so into gnc women with shaved heads and tattoos, but I don't know how to do that

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 03:36:03 PM No. 277115

>>277097
I find that some "chapstick" looking women are often interested in GNC styling but aren't confident enough to try or may just not possess the aesthetic skills to even construct a look. Not saying you should get with someone with the intent to change them but sometimes you do run into unexpected gems, they just need a little reassurance. For instance I know a woman who dressed super low key but not really GNC. Turns out she'd been told she's boyish and plain all her life so she never had the courage to try the styles she had interest in. She knew that people approve when she's dolled up but hated doing it. I helped her come out of her shell a bit and she's now a lot happier with her expression as a GNC woman.

I do think it's best to open yourself up to appreciating different people in general. What matters to you the most? Life goals need to add up, politics, looks, sense of humor, hobbies, family situation, etc etc etc. There are so many parameters and I think fashion has got to be one of the lowest things on that long list of things that need to align.

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 04:26:50 PM No. 277129

I met my gf's mom for the second time at dinner last night and as we were heading out she went to hug me but accidentally touched my tit and then profusely apologized for touching my tit lmao. I barely noticed it, not even sure she actually did touch my tit but my gf was mortified. She thinks her mom should have just not said anything, but I think you gotta immediately point it out and look as apologetic as possible. Otherwise who knows what the other person will think… What do you think nonas?

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 09:11:11 PM No. 277189

>>277115
You're definitely right about a lot of us needing a hype woman. I've been butch my whole life but held on to my shoulder length hair as my last bastion of femininity. I'm tall and muscular and regularly get read as male so I was a retard and kept a haircut I didn't like, thinking it would soften my edge a lil bit. Well that all went out the window when the big C came to town. I had a large part of a brain tumour removed and then radio and chemo and ended up having to shave my head. Thing is though, when I looked in the mirror I actually liked what I saw. In the midst of all that horrible, life threatening shit I actually felt a lil surge of confidence from seeing myself rock a buzzcut. As my hair started to grow back post treatment I thought "oh well, back to long-ish hair and business as usual" but my wife used to be a barber in a kweerio salon and specialised in giving lesbian haircuts so she convinced me to let her cut my hair when it grew out a bit and holy shit, I loved it! I felt handsome as fuck! My wife loved it too and constantly reminded me that she did and although I was nervous about looking even more butch she really helped me to prioritise my own feelings. I also got more into suits thanks to my wife and I generally care a lot less about how straight people perceive me now. Sometimes us GNC dykes just need buttering up and reminding that we only have one life and should spend it dressed how we want. Many gfs and flings have helped me along the way with this and I love every single one for helping me to present how I want.

>277129
I'd apologise profusely if I did that too. It's completely normal to, IMO. I can see where your gf is coming from as some women really are like "oh fuck, I bumped into this dyke, I better tell her we won't be having sex because you know what those lesbians are like!" but she's probably just on high alert to be polite with it only being the second meeting. It's no biggie, IMO.

Anonymous 07/22/22 (Fri) 10:41:28 PM No. 277216

>>277189
Ah I know how you feel, that masc confidence. I overcompensated when struggling to come to terms with myself with hyperfemininity. It felt so uncomfortable. Didn’t expect that dressing masculine would give me so much more confidence, that I would feel like myself again.
The thing is I used to make fun of butch looking women because my family did it too. Not harassment, obviously, but like ‘haha she looks so gay’ at masc women on tv, honestly I just wanted to fit in, throw them off my trail. Actually, I agreed with them ‘yeah lesbians have issues and probably don’t exist’. Idk if it’s
bc i was with my slavic family, they just say what they think, politically incorrect, often homophobic, but it makes me extra insecure now. I do want their approval- especially from other women. I feel most comfortable and myself looking masc, but i don’t want to look like a butt of the joke dyke, or be excluded from womanhood. I feel scared to look too dykish in front of them. I knew an eastern european lesbian who was totally rejected by her mother. The women especially will be judgemental. Just realised i accidentally bloggerinoed again, sorry guys

Anonymous 07/23/22 (Sat) 04:10:00 AM No. 277335

Idk if this is the thread but please nonnies what are the tips for giving pleasure to a woman? I'm a ragging repressed virgin and I never dared to be sexual in my teens. I barely know what i want (I discovered that
my nipples are erogenous a few weeks ago. mind you i'm 20) much less what someone else would want. My worst nightmare is to find the butch of my dreams only to disappoint her because i know nothing about sex and pleasure. Sage because this is fucking embarrassing i want to die.

Anonymous 07/23/22 (Sat) 05:28:17 AM No. 277339

>>277335
There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm sure a few other nonnas in this thread haven't been with a woman yet or are virgins. It's good that you care about your future partner's pleasure! Not sure if I'm the best person to give advice since I'm only a year older than you and have only had sex with one person so far in my life, but I think your first obstacle is finding out what YOU yourself enjoy and exploring your body a bit more. Not every woman is the same of course but we generally like the same things, and I think familiarizing yourself with what brings you pleasure is a good place to start. How do you like to stimulate your nipples, clit, how do you feel about penetration and do you like it a certain way, etc.
Don't just touch your genitals or nipples when you masturbate, try rubbing or lightly scratching other parts of your body. I remember not enjoying receiving from my ex since she put minimal effort into touching parts of my body that weren't my pussy- it felt detached, if that makes sense?
Generally if you enjoy it she'll enjoy it too. Pay attention to her noises and reactions, and don't be afraid to get handsy or put your mouth places- I know almost every woman out there, me included, has a huge weakness for neck kisses/biting, or any kind of mouth action on sensitive areas- they don't even have to be erogenous. My ex liked it when I lightly bit her inner thighs.
Believe me I've been in your shoes and it sucks. Sex can be intimidating, ffs I'm still slightly intimidated at the idea of doing it with someone else in the future, but the important thing is that you do it with someone you're comfortable with and can laugh about it with. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to, just don't be a pillow princess kek. This is kinda general so if you want anything specific feel free to ask.
Good luck Nonna, hope you find the butch of your dreams to fingerbang!

Anonymous 07/23/22 (Sat) 11:20:59 PM No. 277534

File: 1658618459100.jpg (1.29 MB, 1230x1875, 1649377960346.jpg)

From reading this thread I have to say,
That honestly at this point I am thoroughly convinced that all of this lesbian "purity" nonsense that is dividing us is the work of moids/trannies posing as lesbians.
I honestly have no problems with late bloomers. I don't care when they came out/why it took them so long to figure themselves out and I'm certainly not going to interrogate them on their past and if they were involved with men and shit.
From my experience once late bloomers figure their shit out they do not go back to men. It's not my place to accuse them of being bisexual, as if that's a bad thing or deal breaker.
The wlw dating pool is small enough as it is. This discourse is so prevalent online but irl most wlw don't hyperfocus on this shit so much.
I think trannies are seething. This is a seething tranny campaign to divide us.
Late bloomers, I love y'all and I'm glad you're here.

Anonymous 07/23/22 (Sat) 11:32:55 PM No. 277539

>>277335
thank u nona for taking one for the team (the team being all the repressed virgins who are too afraid to ask)

Anonymous 07/24/22 (Sun) 07:52:02 AM No. 277596

Do any of you ever have problem with other lesbians/bisexuals thinking you're supposed to be sexually available all the time just for being a lesbian, especially a butch? Like because the dating pool is so small and shallow everyone needs to compensate for it and just be willing to be a hypersexual sex demon willingly putting up with straight out sexual harassment? I'm pretty much traumatized by treatment like this, as in people expecting me to just tolerate groping, catcalling and being told how fuckable I am and instead I should just be flattered by it when in reality it feels degrading. I'm a very private person and I hate how my sex drive is absolutely ruined by being sexualized in public so much ever since my teens. Yes I know I'm attractive, but what the hell gives one the right to yell out loud in front of everyone how hard they would love to be fucked by me as if I was some man lite doing all the work?

And unsurprisingly most of the time it's just for show, almost all the time it's just those types who wouldn't touch a vagina ever and lie there like a dead fish while the "man" performs for them.

Anonymous 07/24/22 (Sun) 11:11:35 AM No. 277613

>>277534
>oh you think differently from me? you're a moid/tranny
>refusal to understand why some lesbians prefer to date their own kind
>unironic use of "wlw"

Opinion discarded.

>>277596
Honestly the majority of bi women and unfortunately some lesbians view us butches as bottom of the barrel options. They're attracted to us, sure, but we're masculine therefore automatically toxic and should feel honoured that we're even considered an option by them. When they come down from their high horse and decide to throw us filthy peasants some pussy they expect us to be at their beck and call and put up with shitty behaviour including sexual harassment and a medieval attitude on gender non-conformity. I've worked as a bouncer for gay bars in the past and have been groped and talked dirty to which is seen as fine but the moment I lay down boundaries or shake off their touch I'm being aggressive or "not taking a joke". Now imagine a butch woman openly groping a feminine woman, completely different reaction. I still have to pinch myself when I remember I'm married. Dating as a lesbian is rough enough, dating as a butch is hell. I'm so thankful to have a GNC wife who gets it because I've played the man lite, dildo on legs role for far too fucking long. I really wish I could go back and tell baby dyke me to be more confident and not allow myself to be treated like a freak who should accept shitty women because as rare as they are, there are women out there who truly love us and don't see us as mini moids. I recommend seeing if there are any gatherings for GNC women/butches near you. I've met a lot of good friends at these gatherings and even straight GNC women get the same harassment sometimes because they're often assumed to be gay. It's very refreshing to be surrounded by GNC women when sometimes it feels like we all live under rock far, far away from each other.

Anonymous 07/24/22 (Sun) 03:08:41 PM No. 277635

I'm starting to worry about the monkeypox thing. They made it sound like an STD (it is not) and overrepresented infections in gay men and it's just going to cover more and more of us in the community. I saw news on some kids being infected and people are already attaching the "groomer" thing to the virus. Hellworld. My gf and I already deal with public harassment regularly, don't want to know what kind 80s bullshit is in store for us now nonas…

Anonymous 07/24/22 (Sun) 03:38:38 PM No. 277640

>>277613
Thank you nonny, reading your reply was cathartic. I've always been treated with respect by other butches and they always respect my boundaries, they're always such gentlewomen. It's too bad so many of them have trooned out and the rest are ridiculously hard to find so I'm left with those egoistical women who, as you put it, expect us filthy peasants to worship the ground they walk on for being allowed to be seen attractive by them, in worst cases to be dumped for a man when the time comes. I've been pigeonholed into being the dominant male lite who serves them like a sex slave and loves being sexually harassed in return, only because I'm masculine presenting. Despite me being quite mundane with my sexual behavior like, you know, regular loving sex with mutual contribution, not me ravaging her in some cringe BDSM way.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 05:32:39 AM No. 277755

>>277335
I think I am quite okay at eating pussy (at least the last woman I was with I made cum several times in a row every time lol). My tips are 1. ask what she likes and wants (duh) 2. when you are eating her out/fingering her etc, listen to the sounds she makes. Even if someone is not very verbal or doesn't moan a lot, you can still hear if they actually enjoy something by their breathing and body language.

Also,just a personal preference, but my favourite position/way to have lesbian sex is tribbing (?) with a vibrator. Like hugging close legs spread apart with a vibrator between your vaginas. It's so easy, and you don't necessarily even need to take your clothes off lmao.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 06:53:29 AM No. 277760

>>277596
I honestly wouldn't mind getting sexual attention from women, kinda dried up for me when dating apps became big and I'm more on the hypersexual side probably. I hate when people go "step on me" though, I don't want to step on anyone. Other than that I still get treated like a man, all initiative and asking out has to come from me, having to walk the tightrope of toxic masculinity accusations while also being expected to act man lite. I would like to feel (sexually) desired, but not in a weird violent or man lite way. Instead of always having to message first, do the asking out, being expected to be able to mindread whether someone is interested irl and getting shit for not doing anything. Why can't people just normally tell me they're interested without resorting to "step on me" or expecting mindreading?

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 07:47:25 AM No. 277766

>>277760
>Why can't people just normally tell me they're interested without resorting to "step on me" or expecting mindreading?
Yes! I've had so many women just get mad at me and later gloat how I missed my chance, all because I had no idea she was interested in me and expected me to take the initiative because apparently being masculine makes me a man, so I should also pick up on weird clues like "step on me" that sound like a pornsick bihet oneliners. I don't want to risk getting my heart broken and be ridiculed for being a predatory lesbian for the sin of showing interest in a woman unless I'm sure.

>all initiative and asking out has to come from me, having to walk the tightrope of toxic masculinity accusations while also being expected to act man lite.
Another thing that I hate. Goddamn, I'm a woman and a victim of female socialization too, putting on a pair of pants doesn't magically give me the freedom, privilege and the delusional confidence of a moid.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 09:58:36 AM No. 277784

There should be subsets and sexualities within lesbianism, like bi lesbian, straight lesbian, gay lesbian
>straight lesbian: you’re masc/fem and like the opposite presentation eg fem4masc or masc4fem
>gay lesbian: you’re fem4fem or masc4masc
>bi lesbian: however you present yourself, you like both ends of the scale, eg both mascs and fems
I think this makes sense anyway

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 10:29:09 AM No. 277792

>>277784
I'd be a bi lesbian then, but I still get called a faggot butch kek

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 10:38:50 AM No. 277794

>>277792
Is that a thing? Is it taboo to be butch4butch?

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 11:00:36 AM No. 277796

File: 1658746835954.gif (27.12 KB, 200x200, lego.gif)

Holy shit nonas I have a date tomorrow and I'm nervous as fuck.
She's extremely cute, we met at a party last week where we kissed and talked about music and the x-files. I'm very inexperienced when it comes to dating and sex and I have no idea how I'm expected to act and what I should do. Terrified of coming across as awkward or boring, especially since I was pretty drunk at that party which took care of my nerves at the time. She seemed really confident and fun and she might expect me to be more like that instead of the anxious bumbling idiot I really am.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 11:19:08 AM No. 277799

>>277796
Acknowledge that you're a little nervous when you see her, seems counterproductive but it will make things far less awkward than trying to fake confidence (which could actually even increase your stress). She already likes you! So it's going to be all fine, have fun♥

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 11:33:13 AM No. 277801

>>277784
Immediately no.There is no such thing as a “bi lesbian” and will never be

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 12:16:09 PM No. 277804

>>277784
Go back to your cave with your stone age takes on female homosexuality, retard.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 01:30:28 PM No. 277809

>>277784
oh look, someone trying to make butch/fem presentation Heterosexuality Lite again
literally shut the fuck up.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 01:41:58 PM No. 277812

File: 1658756518377.png (27.91 KB, 861x186, nr5spx6lHE1rf6ii1_1280.png)

>>277794
Oh definitely. I read a study before that said about 1/4 butches are also attracted to other butches, but it's like being double gay. Lots of stigma around it, including in the community. From the faggot butch essay
>“Write about how, as soon as butches were no longer the scourge of dykedom for aping masculinity, or whatever that baloney was, it became faggot butches who were scorned and derided. Everyone understands butch/femme because it seems familiar, like Ozzie and Harriet but with better hair and more pussy. Everyone understands femme on femme, even though you don’t see it often because it doesn’t read queer, you know, but it’s in the first images of ‘lesbian love’ most of us see, in porn or on television. Two long haired pretty girls smooching in a daring fashion wherever they happen to be. No one’s threatened by that, not the dykes, not the men, nobody, but if I want to kiss my butch anywhere, I’d be damned sure of my audience, or better yet, better be sure we don’t have one.
Or when Lea Delaria said she's not a "fag" when asked whether she was attracted to Ruby Rose, picrel.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 01:44:51 PM No. 277813

>>277784
It's about women liking vagina and other biological characteristics not about how women dress, the fuck?

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 02:23:05 PM No. 277820

>>277812
that is insane. how could she imply that ruby rose of all people is "not a real woman". the self hating shackles are extremely sad.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 02:38:05 PM No. 277823

I think my friends are ignoring me whenever I say I'm a lesbian because they're still holding out hope that I get with a male friend who has liked me for about 8 years. Yes I've told him no, yes I've told my friends I'm not interested in men multiple times.
It's kinda tiring at this point, just this weird holding out hope that I'm somehow Bi and will eventually marry him and have his ugly babies.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 02:47:11 PM No. 277824

>>277823
Shit, I think you should ask them about it directly. As in, if you think they're actively trying to set you up with this guy, or if they're encouraging this guy to pursue you, etc., don't let them do that to you, especially when you've made your boundaries (and preferences) clear. Totally not cool.

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 03:00:45 PM No. 277826

>>277823
If I were you I’d just end the whole friendship, you deserve better

Anonymous 07/25/22 (Mon) 05:24:27 PM No. 277851

>>277823
You need to confront them and give an ultimatum. You can't keep going like this with people who want to coerce you into sex with a moid.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 01:49:55 AM No. 277917

>>277784
oh exactly. and feminine dudes who like feminine women should also be able to call themselves lesbians

retard

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:31:49 AM No. 277929

File: 1658809909695.jpeg (360.32 KB, 828x1432, 147DDBBA-41E0-4711-B4A2-355C89…)

what are y’all’s thoughts on this tumblr post i found (1/4)

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:32:16 AM No. 277930

File: 1658809936342.jpeg (411.77 KB, 828x1434, CBC70964-55F0-4FC6-B154-912450…)

>>277929
(2/4)

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:33:57 AM No. 277931

File: 1658810037761.jpeg (404.67 KB, 828x1439, A482C5E9-A5FC-4B8A-8565-D5C9A7…)

>>277930
(3/4)

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:35:31 AM No. 277932

File: 1658810131321.jpeg (329.22 KB, 828x1220, BEE187EC-A4B5-4821-A6D5-3ED18F…)

>>277931
(4/4)

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:44:50 AM No. 277933

>>277851
>>277826
>>277823
Ditch them anon, they're on some pickmesha shit that will only bring you down. My sister had a similar thing happen to her where this creepy moid in our friend group wanted to date her so badly he would shake with nerves and started crying when she said no. Everyone was acting like my sister was a bitch for saying no and she should have just given him a try. We were all high schoolers then so I kind of get the stupidity but they're not friends if they consciously or unconsciously feel that that mans emotions and wants are more important than your own. Sorry you're dealing with that.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:48:34 AM No. 277934

>>277929
Can't you just sum it up can't really take the op seriously with "womyn" or older generations gospel when they seem to be dealing with their own societal trauma. Like that one post about where Lea whatever didn't like Ruby because she wasn't a faggot. They had their own issues with accepting themselves.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:51:54 AM No. 277935

>>277929
A polilez told me that it's just an outdated way of speaking about it. While actually reading up on the history of it, "born this way" or at least "stuck this way, it's not a choice" in some shape or form was already accepted by sexuologists and mentioned by lesbians in the early 20's. Working class lesbians in the 40's-60's never even thought of 'Choice vs born this way', nor did they call themseleves lesbian though. The polilez framework is truly an (upper) middleclass thing from the 70's. They reject "born this way", because sexuologists agree with that and a broken clock can't be right sometimes according to them. Also, what is the logic of coopting a sexual orientation, then complaining about the concept of attraction and then that it's not political enough. Just say political celibacy then?

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:58:49 AM No. 277936

>>277934
i guess it can be summed up as
>we need to stop defining lesbian as an innate way of existing, but as an action
>plenty of self defined lesbians don’t consider themselves “born this way”
>focusing on lesbian as an identity is just the same as trans ppl and wanting their gender identity to be taken seriously

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 05:00:59 AM No. 277937

>>277929
Ok I read it. It would be nice for you to write your own opinion too. I agree with other annon why do they have to coopt the word lesbian. Also bisexuals exist. But like several anons have said before why do we have to constantly navel gaze at the purity of lesbians/women. Gay men don't constantly question each others validity. I know why we do it I'm just kind of getting tired of it.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 05:12:05 AM No. 277940

>>277935
Also I want to note that lesbian feminist peers in France disagreed with the American ones for the insisting on the "choice" thing and shitting on "lifelongs". Among other disagreements like American polilez hating butches etc. While Dutch ones agreed with the Americans. So it's not even guaranteed that everywhere this was a common framework among middle class lesbians.
>>277936
Yeah but by their logic two straight women living together as friends while calling themselves lesbian radfems are living a lesbian lifestyle. However a lesbian who isn't out as either a radfem or lesbian, isn't living a lesbian lifestyle. So if you're not already being cancelled irl for being a "Terf", you're not a real lesbian according to them. They have a problem with the idea of "lifelong", prior to coming out as both a lesbian and radfem, they think you shouldn't be considered a "real lesbian". So it's not like they're doing any less purity testing than we do nowadays, just in a weird way. If anything polilez are the ones advocating for self IDing as lesbians, when many are just straight politically celibate women.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 05:42:26 AM No. 277946

>>277929
These remind me of some of the weird tranny sperg text walls I've seen here lol. I support late bloomer lesbians but this is some fucking copium from a bisexual totally being a lesbian guys it's a choice.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 07:39:08 AM No. 277961

>>277929
This post is just a long way of saying "yes I'm a polilez, what about it" with the retarded assumption of lesbianism being just some magical sisterhood mindset, not a legitimate sexuality. Also the unironical use of the word "womyn" makes me cringe so much it makes this utterly unreadable and stinks of tryhard. Newspeak is always a terrible idea no matter which side of the fence you end up in.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 07:43:05 AM No. 277963

I told everyone about my girlfriend and I have come out as gay in 2016.
Fast forward to now, I'm still out and about while my gf has still not come told her parents about me but has come out as gay. I don't like it in particular but thought about how everyone else sees it? My gf says that it's because her parents have prejudice about certain ethnicities…

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 08:38:07 AM No. 277969

>>277963
She's been keeping you a secret for 6 years? Did I understand that right? Does she at least have plans to move out if she lives with them?

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 08:43:17 AM No. 277971

Piggybacking the discussion about telling your family, how would you feel if your partner didn't tell about you to her parents? My family is homophobic (like the "gays are disgusting pedo degenerates" type) and I haven't even come out to them myself ever so there's no way I could tell them about my girlfriend. I would be fine if my girlfriend kept me a secret in a similar situation but I know for a lot of people it's a dealbreaker and they don't want to live in secrecy. I would be hurt if the family was accepting of gays and their child's sexuality yet they still chose not to introduce me to them though.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 12:55:24 PM No. 278000

>>277963
I personally would refuse to stay with someone interested in keeping me a secret. I'm 28, did the work on facing my family and seeing which relatives are willing to understand and cut out the ones that don't. I would feel frustrated with a gf that doesn't have the mental fortitude to confront her family on things that matter. That tells me she's subservient to bigoted people and cares too much about the opinions of those that aren't even compassionate enough to love her the way she is. Hiding your gf because of any prejudice from your family is confirming that their sensibilities matter more than your dignity imo. Of course, if hate crimes are a possibility then going no contact and not coming out fully is also ok.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 01:00:19 PM No. 278001

>>277932
>lesbian land
i'm gonna lose it wtf am i reading kek

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 01:23:54 PM No. 278002

>>278001
Are you too young to know about lesbian separatism?

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 02:20:30 PM No. 278006

>>277969
Yes, you're correct. She hasn't told them about me to avoid conflict because I am not white. Well, atleast that's what she says.
She doesn't live with them anymore yet she hasn't told them. They do visit her often.

>>277971
I wouldn't mind the first year if she didn't tell her family about us until she considers us a serious relationship.Anything after 1 full year I wouldn't like and begin to distrust.

>>278000
Hate crimes are not a possibility in her case , but she is very controlled by them and often defends thier behavior saying they need time. I'm seriously considering ending this long relationship because not only does she not tell them about me and keep me hidden I have heard her family disrespect me and insult me on the phone since they believe I'm just a friend.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 03:26:41 PM No. 278014

>>278006
Ugh, that is extremely frustrating. Her family may or may not rely on her but at some point she needs to demand respect or leave. So do you, ostensibly. A long term girlfriend is family too. You need to come first. Or else wtf is the point of loving anyone? Her family can enjoy a cushy second place priority in her life, especially since they're so shitty she struggled to come out and can't date interracially.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 03:45:24 PM No. 278019

I feel disgusting because of my sexualization of women. It makes me feel bad that I view women this way. Also it's hard to know if my feelings are normal because I have nobody who I can ask about this. Honestly I feel as predatory as a scrote.
Just today I was walking to a grocery store and saw this one woman riding a bike. She had the biggest, tightest ass I ever saw and wore super tight leggings. What's worse, her leggings were wet near her pussy, I guess it was sweat from riding a bike. I honestly had a near-death experience and forced myself to look away. I felt really guilty because I view other women as sex objects.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 03:57:16 PM No. 278022

>>278019
You should feel bad, stop objectifying random innocent women, wtf.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:10:15 PM No. 278025

File: 1658851815105.jpg (317.69 KB, 864x810, pic unrelated.jpg)

>>278019
>She had the biggest etc.
In principle, finding someone hot is not an act of violence and as long as you don't harass people (either by staring or verbally etc) it's not a big deal. If you also see women as full human beings with interesting inner worlds, you're fine. Sexual attraction towards only women as a woman is the core thing about being a lesbian, so of course you'll think someone's really hot on occasion. Noticing details is a very common thing for us anyway, most women can distill their attraction to fine points like
>the sliver of elbow skin you see between the sleeve and a watch
If you took a gander at the original female gaze thread. I'm not sure if /m/ ever recovered but the "revival" thread is utter ass because pornsick femcels colonized this whole website with their incessant husbandoposting across dozens of threads, on every single board, even in threads where it's entirely off-topic. Anyway, feeling guilty or ashamed is not going to help you or the poor, poor women you thought were cute. Just move on, don't make people uncomfortable but stop worrying so much. You are not a rapist.

Btw if you're a tranny or if a tranny is reading this, you should kys. It's only non-creepy coming from actual women because they're not violent XY defectives like you.

>>278022
Ah yeah, internally thinking a woman is sexy is somehow an act so vile. Not like anon went and catcalled her. If she did gawk at her then it's rude and maybe creepy but surely just noticing her beauty isn't predatory.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:23:09 PM No. 278028

>>278025
Thinking she's attractive, sure. That anon didn't stop at that. "She's" describing that woman like she's a piece of meat. It's completely different to find someone attractive vs. objectifying them in your mind. That women was just going about her day, it's disgusting to think about her in that way. Even though she didn't act on it doesn't mean it's right.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:46:19 PM No. 278031

>>278022
>>278028
I just don't understand how it should work really. Like, what a healthy perception of women should look like?

In that other post I meant to say that I saw a good-looking woman and was like "wow, what the hell". I honestly don't understand what other reaction should I have? Don't look at people at all on the streets? It's pretty hard to not notice people and even harder not to have a thought in your head like "whew, she is smoking hot". And, in the end, what can I say, I love ass and love yoga pants.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:47:32 PM No. 278032

>>278031
There is a 0,00001% chance that this isn't a male

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:49:11 PM No. 278033

>>278025
This is going to start another retarded polilez fingerpointing infight but I'm going to agree with >>278028 . I almost had a gay heart attack when I saw a beautiful woman with the body of a greek goddess sunbathing the other day so I understand feeling guilty about experiencing physical attraction, but going on an anonymous board to first complain about feeling guilty of objectifying women and then going ahead to publicly describe a completely random woman you saw on the street like a piece of meat with her "biggest, tightest ass" and "wet pussy" in her "super tight leggings" to an audience of strangers sounds inappropriate as hell. That's locker room talk, it's would be weird to witness no matter what sexual orientation one has.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:53:01 PM No. 278034

>>278033
Girl, it's an anonymous image board, where else should I post this shit? PM it to my grandma on FB?
>>278032
I'm not I swear. Although maybe watching porn made my brains dissolve a little so now I have a moid brain.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 04:59:54 PM No. 278037

>>278034
Seriously, anon boards are basically the one place to be unhinged. People who live online think it's gauche to be messy on here but when you have a life where you're a functional person, having this place to vent or journal is a blessing. I get the hypervigilance from nonas but who the fuck cares. We can't live under the shadow of some tranny boogeyman watching us. Can't give them that much power over you.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 07:42:53 PM No. 278055

>>278025
>pornsick femcels colonized this whole website with their incessant husbandoposting across dozens of threads, on every single board, even in threads where it's entirely off-topic
Exactly my thoughts too goddamn

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 07:45:31 PM No. 278057

>>278037
Sure, but we have the right to tell you to fuck off after your weird porn novel you posted

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 07:52:31 PM No. 278059

>>278057
How is that short post a porn novel?

I also freak out mentally a bit when I see hot women in tight excercise leggings because it's a wonderful sight but I don't want to be like a gross moid and stare.
But noticing hot women is not scrotey ffs.

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 08:46:19 PM No. 278070

>>278022
>>278028
I'm once again asking polilezzies to get out of the thread

Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue) 11:39:18 PM No. 278099

How do you dress feminine in a way that appeals to women but not to men? Or at least in a way that still shows I'm gay? Should I just invest in a lot of double venus themed jewelry?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 12:48:03 AM No. 278107

>>278099
Having a good but unusual sense of style seems to tip people off on me. I have a frilled denim blouse with an embroidered cat parade on it that I think is a good example. Unique but not trendy or try-hard, you know?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 01:39:42 AM No. 278114

>>278057
What are you doing on a lesbian thread if you can’t even bear the thought of a woman fantasizing about another woman?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 02:37:58 AM No. 278123

>>278033
>>278057
she wrote a handful of sentances that don't do anything beyond describing how her body looked and the state it was in. you're the one having fucking conniptions over a lesbian saying she appreciates a woman's ass and noticed her pussy was moist. go say some hail marys on nonas behalf so you don't die of a fucking stroke, but the rest of us lesbian sinners want to talk about how hot women are without having to be all hand-wringy and sapphic about it. stop shitting up the thread with your pearl clutching aids

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 04:21:15 AM No. 278129

>>278123
this. male-attracted anons have no shame filling up multiple threads across the site with their sexual fantasies involving real and fictional men. but somehow the morality police come for lesbians. feminism is not a pre-requisite to lesbianism and respecting women is not a pre-requisite to lesbianism. sexuality is not equal to morality.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 06:04:48 AM No. 278139

File: 1658901888868.jpg (71.84 KB, 736x920, 73cff8bfb7170554c6c0dd9a155afa…)

>>278099
I've been into wearing more longer skirts and boots myself, I like the look of feminine clothes with an edge to it if that makes sense. I don't see too many normie girls dressing like that. Also what >>278107 said, having more flamboyant statement pieces in an outfit, I always assume girls wearing this are either gay or art students kek

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 07:13:15 AM No. 278144

>>278123
>>278114
Fantasizing is ok, but why tf do you need to describe is so creepily and post it here. It was straight out of a porn novel lmao.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 09:22:27 AM No. 278155

>>278123
Ok transbian

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 09:29:53 AM No. 278157

>>278144
"Creepily"? Those are simply the kind of thought you have when, y'know… you're sexually attracted to someone, requirement to define your sexual orientation. Yet, you seem weirdly shocked at the thought of seeing other women in a sexual way.
Go listen to Girl in Red and clutch your pearls somewhere else, lesbians get enough shit for liking women already. We don't need weird cottagecore-chans trying to make anons feel bad for their normal, natural impulses.

>>278155
Go find your Nigel.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 09:45:22 AM No. 278163

I personally have history of being sexually harassed by both men and other women so I really don't appreciate people talking about women like they were objects to grade. I would feel extremely uncomfortable if someone was eyeing down my crotch and ass on the street and telling about it in detail on a public website, it would be an entirely different thing to say something more respectful and neutral like "I saw a beautiful woman with a great body cycling past me and I was immediately attracted to her" instead of describing the wet spot near my vagina and my fat ass like a horny scrote. Seriously this constant lewd thirstposting and the visceral autistic rage directed people not appreciative of it is curious as fuck and looks and sounds like an attempt at astroturfing. Just because lesbian sexuality is repressed it doesn't mean you have to go to the other extreme.

>>278157
Are these cottagecore-chans in the room with us right now?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 09:53:51 AM No. 278168

If you can't hornypost about women in a lesbian thread in /g/ where the fuck can you do it?
I love big butts and thighs and I cannot lie.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 10:01:39 AM No. 278171

femme for femmes like me are the most oppressed beings in the land

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 10:28:14 AM No. 278176

File: 1658917693719.jpg (590.7 KB, 3404x3408, 1650528197288.jpg)

>>278163
Cool story, unfortunately lesbians experiencing sexual attraction towards other women is still normal.
>visceral autistic rage
"Everyone who disagrees with my inane point is autistically mad!"
Anon, you are triggered by anons having sexual thoughts towards women. At this point I'm gonna take the bait and ask, have you ever had sex or a girlfriend? What would you say to her when you're in the mood? "Darling, you're looking scrumptious right now and I'm very much attracted to you"? Please.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 10:48:03 AM No. 278180

I stg the moist pussy creep is the metatroon spamming the site rn

It's not about finding women sexually attractive (…that's like the basis of lesbianism), but the way you described the event and act about it

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 12:20:14 PM No. 278193

>>278168
There's literally a thread for that dingus, just open the catalog and see. >>66358

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 12:33:33 PM No. 278195

>>278163
>say something more respectful and neutral like "I saw a beautiful woman with a great body cycling past me and I was immediately attracted to her"
Cool, if those are the terms you prefer to keep things in you are absolutely free to do so. Some of us like to think of the details and are also free to post about that stuff if we like. Anon didn't go up to the woman to tell her about it, did not doxx her or post a creepshot of her where she can be identified, didn't stare at her and make her uncomfortable. Her account of how she experienced seeing a sexy woman has absolutely zero effect on that stranger's life. You need to understand that you have a hypersensitivity thing regarding this kind of thing (which I respect, as a sexual assault survivor myself who still goes through street harassment regularly) and just stop reading when something upsets you. It's not that hard, it's certainly not un-lesbian.

>>278193
The anon >>278019 who posted the story that triggered everyone wasn't merely making a hornypost, it was also about her shame towards how she feels. The sexual fantasy thread isn't a good place for that, as she's looking for community on a broader topic. And guess what, a bunch of polilezzes dogpiled on her and confirmed her insecurity. And for what? Thinking a woman is hot and writing a blurb about a stranger she didn't even post anything identifying about. People are acting unhinged and muddying the waters with their skewed mindsets.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 12:35:49 PM No. 278196

>>278180
"Act about it" by posting a vague description on an anonymous imageboard? If you ever get to speak to women in real life, you'll discover with shock that some (especially some straight ones) can get even more graphic…

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 12:39:26 PM No. 278197

>>278195
Thinking you are creepy does not make someone a polilez lmao

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 12:57:26 PM No. 278200

>>278180
At this point the person constantly having repetitive meltdowns about the "cottagecore polilez" boolying her hornyposts indistinguishable from the screencaps found in the MTF threads has to be a larp attempting to breed infighting because every time the topic goes back to something more intelligent the "uunngghh I saw a woman and wanted to eat her moist pussy so hard" posting starts again. Regular women know how degrading it is to be sexually objectified by strangers so they usually don't wish to impose it on others or at least are apologetic to a degree instead of this retarded "stop being a prude reee" mindset. My girlfriend can talk dirty to me all she wants but if someone I barely knew was talking about my "wet pussy"? May they fuck off from my presence inshallah

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 01:00:44 PM No. 278201

>>278200
Once again, the anon didn't go up to her and say that to her. She posted about a thought online, on an anonymous imageboard. Her original post was also absolutely guilt ridden and apologetic. That you people self-insert as the stranger she didn't bother and act like she came up to you and harassed you on the street is what's truly mentally ill.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 01:21:24 PM No. 278205

>>278163
Again, if you can’t cope with the fact that women are attracted to women get out of the lesbian thread, you’re being a deadweight here
I’m sorry you’ve been harassed but literally every woman has been? Your sexual traumas have nothing to do with us.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 01:37:45 PM No. 278210

>>273508
NTA But why is it that the straight/bi women on here can have plenty of space to drool over the same sex (that they claim to hate so much) that has been killing us at insane rates, talk about their shitty relationships with moids, their one night stands & orgasmless sex free of guilt since anyone who tries to talk about how retarded it is gets piled on for trying to “suppress their heterosexuality” or some shit like that but the lesbian anons who write anything remotely sexual (or even weird like loving the smell of pussy sweat) about a female is nitpicked to death… accused of being a disgusting moid & to take it elsewhere? Like straight/bi women are allowed to be sexual about moids and but lesbians have to represent the peak radical feminism and anything that strays from that is “scrotey”.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 01:38:29 PM No. 278211

>opens up /g/
>hides all the ‘men i sexy slurp slurp handsome unconventional peg peg based fem gaze radfem makeup birth control’ threads
>opens up /ot/
>hides all the ‘boyfriend problems my nigel based bf watching porn behind my doesn’t love me handsome men from shows men suck based radfem grr troubled camwhores’
>opens up /m/
>hides all the ‘slurpy slurp game men anime men who are homogays based radfem femgaze’
Alhamdulillah i have the idea of creating a lesbo imageboard, who’s with me? I still love my non-les nonnies, dearly love this website and our mods, but i think our own space would be cool.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 01:46:24 PM No. 278212

>>278210
It's literally the "don't shove your homosexuality down our throats" taking place inside the fucking lesbian thread. On an anonymous imageboard. Somehow being horny in our own thread towards someone who isn't even here is harassment.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 02:13:03 PM No. 278217

>>278211
> but i think our own space would be cool.
Girl, do you even see what is happening here right now lol
Obviously I love the idea but honestly I have come to the conclusion that lesbians themselves are at fault because all “lesbian” online spaces like this thread, l chat, a nook on radblr or ovarit are all shitholes (sorry nonas, i love you, but lets be real) if you made another site it would degrade into feminist purity shitslinging right away because someone wrote a retarded post about smelling pussy sweat

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 02:18:20 PM No. 278219

>>278211
I've thought about it before honestly. I'm not a pro but I think I have enough dev skills to get an imageboard running. My main concern is that a 'cis' lesbian imageboard is going to be target #1 for moids so I assume raids would be daily and I don't want to deal with CP posters.

I've been toying with the idea of an imageboard where you select from a database of pre-approved images instead of users having the ability to upload. So it would be more of an anon discussion forum with lesbian-themed reaction images you can attach to your post.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 02:58:01 PM No. 278221

>>278219
Oh, that's a really cool idea! You could have a butch board tan and a femme board tan and little reactions for each… Maybe an email to submit new reactions for the database even!

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 02:59:47 PM No. 278222

>>278221
Would contribute artfag stuff but moderating a lesbian site would be hell. Discord is more like it since you can make sure nobody is a male but Discord users are often unhinged retards so.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 03:02:31 PM No. 278223

i understand why this has happened but it’s still annoying that lesbianism is like the only sexuality that people attach political philosophy to

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 03:47:11 PM No. 278232

>>278222
Definitely more of a pipe dream, I guess. But it's fun to think about
>>278223
Spicy straights are trying their best with queer theory, anon, give them time.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 04:15:34 PM No. 278237

>>278210
Because objectifying someone is disgusting, if they're going to degrade someone I'd rather it be men than other women.
Are you telling me women should be degraded and treated as pieces of meat by both men and women now? Come on. And again, this isn't even being sexually attracted to women, but literally acting like a disgusting scrote describing some random innocent women as an object. Use your damn brain.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 04:40:41 PM No. 278241

>>278237
no but it’s annoying when people attach purity politics to lesbianism and act like anyone being too horny about women is some tranny and/or scrote

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 04:43:23 PM No. 278243

>>278237
>if they're going to degrade someone I'd rather it be men than other women.

well this is a lesbian thread so we’re not going to be sexually objectifying men here. you’re welcome to peruse the 3775432 other threads that degrade men tho

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 04:56:11 PM No. 278244

>>278219
I am so happy to hear that! I think we might as well try, even if there are grains of truth in what >>278217 is saying- thelchat is nice, but it has a pretty normie vibe, celebrity obsession, back and forth bickering, you know. I love this website but there’s a lot i don’t really relate to. So we could have a board that’s chill, with a sprinkling of imageboard retardation, just for us.
Nonnie, I like your ideas. It’s cool that there are people with dev skills here, and the idea of pre selected images is a good one- or even trusted user privileges, such as image posting that the admin could grant. I think that could keep things safe.
>>278222
That’s such a cute idea ngl

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 05:40:51 PM No. 278258

>>278237
Have sex

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 05:42:02 PM No. 278259

>>278237
If you want purity and political correctness go to Twitter/church not lolcow

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 05:48:05 PM No. 278261

>>278237
>if they're going to degrade someone I'd rather it be men
I've no doubt you would, you're a straight radfem. Now get out of the thread, your kind is not wanted here

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 05:49:37 PM No. 278262

met a really cool girl on a lesbian dating app (unfortunately "kweer" friendly but i just ignore the transbians and couples) and we texted literally all day for 2 days straight, we talked about everything. now im feeling confused because in the past few days her texts have been way more sporadic and less detailed than at the start and we arent having the same kind of long conversation, just a "good morning" "hows work" "do you have plans" kind of talk each day. right now its been about 7 hours since she texted me last. i know its dumb but since we connected so hard on the first couple of days i got really attached to her already and really want to keep chatting but now shes kinda ignoring me? another factor is that shes away at the moment on holiday so she doesnt have as much time as normal to text me (shes hanging out with friends and doing things etc) but it was such a drastic difference in her texts from the start… what should i do? should i double text her again just to see if shes got plans tonight?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 05:55:22 PM No. 278263

>>278261
>getting upset at radfems
>getting upset at anons being against your creeping stories
Curious

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 05:56:01 PM No. 278264

>>278262
She's just busy nonna oh my god, chill and let her enjoy her vacation

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 06:15:34 PM No. 278267

>>278264
okay, youre right, i guess i needed that. the odd thing is i dont like when people are overly clingy on me but i enjoyed our conversation SO much i was already imagining our relationship. ill take it at a slower pace for now then, at least until she comes back. shall i still send my usual (well, usual for the past week) goodnight text though? god i probably sound insane

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 06:34:54 PM No. 278272

>>278262
Ask her out, idiot. You don't have to be online friends, you got along, take it IRL.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 06:49:39 PM No. 278273

>>278272
i really want to but unfortunately she lives quite far away so a date would probably require about an hour of travel for one of us so it may be a bit soon, should i ask her to do voice/video chat instead?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 06:52:21 PM No. 278275

>>278273
I traveled an hour to meet people all the time back when I was making new friends in the city I live in. I don't think an hour travel is that weird for a date with someone you like well enough. It's just a couple hours total travel to potentially have a great time and build something great. Just my view though, takes forever to take public transit anywhere in my city lol.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 07:03:09 PM No. 278278

>>278275
okay, true. ill ask her when she comes back and see what she says. i hope she doesnt say no cause i will be crushed lmao

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 07:04:46 PM No. 278279

>>278259
>>278243
>>278261
You do realize plenty of women find other women sexually attractive without acting like a predatory scrote and reducing them to a slab or meat, right?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 07:13:19 PM No. 278281

>>278263
>>278279
Please make an example of how to hornypost without "reducing women to a slab of meat", since any mention of sexual activities and body parts is "scrote tier", o my holy queen of purity (who's also totally a lesbian).

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 07:49:03 PM No. 278283

>>278281
Why do you need to hornypost about how thick and huge her ass was and how you wanted her sweaty pussy on your face? She's a damn stranger on the street, not looking to be sexualized by creeps. Could just say she's hot, has a nice figure and leave it at that instead of reducing her to body parts like a sleaze.
>o my holy queen of purity
Get over yourself.(are you lost?)

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 07:49:18 PM No. 278284

>>278279
I wonder if we all start hornyposting we could scare your straight ass out of the thread…

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 08:07:08 PM No. 278285

>>278281
>If we can't tranny tier hornypost about the body parts of the women we see on the street like pornsick moids it's purity obsessed cottagecore polilezzies suppressing us!!!
I swear half of this thread is just angry teenagers with the worst fucking black and white thinking there is or larping scrotes baiting infighting, which would seriously be indicated by the lack of empathy they have for women being objectified in general.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 08:22:34 PM No. 278288

>>278285
Ok now explain why hornyposting any which way we want in our thread is a bad thing. Let's assume it's moid tier. Who the fuck are you to police what words we choose to describe our feelings? Just because your entire life is framed around men does not mean we have to live like that. Some of us don't care about being the opposite of men in every way, we're busy being lesbians.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 08:33:57 PM No. 278291

Love that there is an entire discussion happening in this thread with several whiteknights protecting the dignity of a poor objectified woman, meanwhile she herself literally knows nothing about this situation, and doesn’t even know some lezzie was looking at her the other day that resulted in a massive slapfight on an imageboard dedicated to lolcows the impact this woman’s ass has

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 08:39:43 PM No. 278292

>>278291
My sides anon, that woman is probably going on about her life but whiteknight straight girl chan must protect her from being “objectified”

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 08:42:50 PM No. 278293

>>278283
>>278285
>you
>you
>you
Get over yourself, it's several anons responding to you at this point because of how bizarre your outrage at lesbians expressing their sexual attraction in the lesbian thread is.
I'm not OP and never hornyposted before, but I'm gonna do it now because fuck you, that's why.

>>278284
We can sure try, I'll begin.
What kind of woman attracts you the most, anons? My type is soft tomboys, preferably with short hair. I love to take care of them in bed, stroke their hair, make them squirm and eat them out until my jaw is sore. I've been going on a few dates with a short haired qt and all I know is I would lick every inch of her.
And most importantly, her moist pussy.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 10:10:45 PM No. 278303

Only a moid would get this mad over not being allowed to objectify women

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 10:39:50 PM No. 278306

>>278293
I love women who are a little chubby. Not obese but the higher end of a healthy BMI or overweight. I like kissing softer stomachs and resting my head there like a pillow, and soft thighs are the best. I also really love natural body hair. To the point where it's almost a dealbreaker if a woman shaves, which I kind of feel like an asshole about because it's shallow but I hate the texture of stubble. Body hair is pretty soft once it grows out, full hair feels smoother to me than stubble. Also bush is hot. And happy trails

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 11:07:50 PM No. 278312

>>278293
Women who are slim/physically fit, taught stomach and nice shapely legs and huge ass.

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 11:16:53 PM No. 278315

>>278303
Ur still here?

Anonymous 07/27/22 (Wed) 11:26:12 PM No. 278316

>>278293
I consider this a bit graphic and I’ve literally never told this to anyone so… yeah

I have this fantasy of being used by a whole sports team like volleyball,football whatever, like I’d eat every single one of them out and they wouldn’t allow me to rest or anything, they could verbally degrade me too I don’t care, I just wanna be used by a woman and pleasure her

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 01:01:22 AM No. 278325

>>278293
Short punkish girls with shaved heads or taller muscular girls with a softer side

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 03:03:39 AM No. 278335

File: 1658977419016.jpg (88.7 KB, 540x539, tumblr_8ba4a1fcc538f3964767b37…)

i love looking at vintage lesbian pics and imagining how their lives were after the photo / potentially how their lives are right now. i hope they're happy
>>278306
lmao i condition my bush just for women like you, nona

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 03:32:34 AM No. 278336

Just putting this here for the sake of prosperity.

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 04:06:27 AM No. 278340

>>278336
She’s gorgeous now I don’t know if I should feel jealous or attracted lol

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 08:06:36 AM No. 278359

idk if it's too radfemmy to say but I don't think I'd ever outwardly ogle a women in sports forced to wear underwear when men are able to wear shorts. Especially after those volleyball players got fined for wearing shorts.

Hornyposting is kind of weird. I'm ok with sex advice/conversations but just sharing what gets you off is a little weird.

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 08:07:03 AM No. 278360

>>278303
Please see a therapist

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 08:31:11 AM No. 278363

>>278359
same.
well actually it makes me angry, being that i had to expirence wearing little short shorts for a uniform before and I was so uncomfortable with it it made me quit.
i can't imagine running and jumping in >>278336
shes basically wearing a thong and feeling like you have a wedgie when you're trying to preform at your best doesn't sound fun.

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 12:03:53 PM No. 278385

>>278359
I'm the same, I discuss sex very openly with my friends etc but hornyposting is just cringy idk. I hide every single "hehe husbando slurp slurp" thread, and the video posted above is kinda icky too. Of course she's gorgeous but I think about how unpractical, uncomfortable and objectifying the outfit is too much.

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 12:29:44 PM No. 278387

>>278306
Hell yeah to all of that. For me I'm a legs and arms worshipper for the most part. The firmness of her muscles combined with the softness of her skin and the cute bit of fat she packs in her thighs and upper arms drives me wild. I'm also obsessed with sniffing my woman's hair and neck, where her scent is mixed in with mine. Recently she accidentally flashed me while we were in a scenic public place at sunset and the light filtering through her milky skin made her pink nipples glow in the sun's last breath… Ugh. I wanted to suck on them so bad but she quickly covered up when she realized she had ridden her top too far up and we ran back home to avoid the strangers that may have seen it. Now I wanna have daylight sex with her in private but we have no space to do that in. Oh the way sunlight plays with her glowing complexion! Can't wait for her to get back into ab training so I can lick her abs and feel the ridges on my tongue.

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 12:57:58 PM No. 278391

>>278385
I agree, hornyposting is cringe for me as well but I just ignore it and maybe I’ll read those later when I’m in the mood

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 05:44:04 PM No. 278440

>>278335
>condition my bush
How do you do this without getting a yeast infection also does it even make a difference?

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 06:03:52 PM No. 278444

>>278440
NTA but the shampoo I use is maui moisture. I just shampoo my pubes with that one because it's so rich, avoiding my actual pussy and just getting the hairs. I've only had a yeast infection once in my life, a decade ago.

Anonymous 07/28/22 (Thu) 10:39:10 PM No. 278479

I feel like I will never get over my first girlfriend

Anonymous 07/29/22 (Fri) 10:30:49 PM No. 278681

Can this thread be normal for like, two days without resorting to chimp outs?

>>277812
Fuck Lea DeLaria. If her sexuality and/or butchness is threatened by Ruby Rose, the most safe for heterosexual consumption, baby bihets first girl crush, Justin Bieber looking ass """butch""" who I've never seen without a full face of make-up, then she's got serious problems. She always gave me chest beating, alpha butch vibes and it's sad to see that she's terminally retarded too. Anyway I love being a faggot butch and I'm too busy admiring myself in a mirror a la Johnny Bravo to listen to dinosaurs like her.

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 12:29:24 AM No. 278697

Think about that girl I helped today at work, she was really nice and wanted to keep conversing but I had to go help out some other customers sadly. She was getting really personal idk if it was flirtatious in nature but I wish we could of kept talking. I basically only meet and talk to people at work now it's sad.

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 11:56:52 AM No. 278782

>>278681
>I'm too busy admiring myself in a mirror a la Johnny Bravo to listen to dinosaurs like her.
Anon I'm in love with you and your way with words

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 04:06:04 PM No. 278810

The women I want to be with the most right now, one has a boyfriend she didn't tell me about while she was playflirting with me and I've since been ghosted by her, the other one she made me feel so listened to but she's deeply in love with her girlfriend of several years that she calls her wife. And they're both on the literal other side of the world I'm so stupid for letting myself feel anything for either of them but they're who I most want to be with right now. I'm dying a virgin for sure

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 05:02:51 PM No. 278815

>>278293
>What kind of woman attracts you the most, anons
A bit late but my type is the stereotypicaly intellectual/academic oriented women, I love the whole nerdy look and behaviour, I have a bit of a thing for glasses too. If she is weird and slightly off putting ( because she do not care about looking acceptable for society and is too buzy thinking about some complicated problems or abstract theories ) it's even better ! This type is just so charming and cute to me, it drives me wild to even think about it

>>278681
God, what a perfect post nonnie, my sides

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 06:21:17 PM No. 278825

>>278815
omg nona same, i was just thinking how ideal it’d be to date another strange/offputting woman. i consider myself to be like this as well (down to the glasses lol, although i dont think im as smart which is ok!) and get so anxious about coming off normal enough to not scare off a woman i find attractive - it’d just feel correct to find someone else on that same wavelength. not hide away the weird girls we grew up to cover up. ill stop being corny now

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 06:37:29 PM No. 278826

Obligatory “I’m bi, but-“ I’m so horny, I’ve always wanted to try tribbing. I heard it’s not that great but it looks so hot

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 08:56:00 PM No. 278843

>>278681
>I'm too busy admiring myself in a mirror a la Johnny Bravo to listen to dinosaurs like her.
KEK I love you anon, it's sad though that so many boomer butches have her mindset due to the internalized homophobia.

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 09:06:07 PM No. 278845

>>278825
nta but same all I want in life is an equally weird autistic woman to be my hermit wife.
>>278826
it can be really hard to get a good angle with normal tribbing depending on your body types but tribbing with a vibe between you is A+++

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 10:03:02 PM No. 278857

Is being skinny a turn off for you? Stress and depression ruined my appetite for a while and now that I'm bony I feel like I don't get any attention from women whatsoever.

Anonymous 07/30/22 (Sat) 11:37:29 PM No. 278867

>>278857
It depends. I had a crush on a girl who was a lot thinner than me and I didn't mind, but I'm personally chubby and I get nervous approaching skinnier girls because I feel like they'd prefer someone also skinny. I'm fine with most body types since I tend to notice women's faces first

Anonymous 07/31/22 (Sun) 08:43:12 AM No. 278924

>>278825
>get so anxious about coming off normal enough to not scare off a woman i find attractive - it’d just feel correct to find someone else on that same wavelength
I deeply relate nonnie, I always try to hide who I am because I'm afraid of being a weirdo but I just end up looking super dull and cold because of it. Wishing you the best in the quest to find a fellow strange gf!

>>278845
>Weird autistic woman to be my hermit wife
My absolute dream!

Anonymous 07/31/22 (Sun) 10:09:00 AM No. 278933

>>278857
It's only a turn off if I can't play your ribs like a xylophone with the strap

Anonymous 07/31/22 (Sun) 01:47:28 PM No. 278946

File: 1659275248398.jpg (4.24 KB, 225x225, 1655309868167.jpg)

>>278933

Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue) 04:34:47 AM No. 279180

File: 1659414887331.png (423.01 KB, 1280x1280, 360CAB4E-4F79-4E71-B09F-718586…)

Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue) 06:20:48 AM No. 279193

File: 1659421247907.jpg (655 KB, 1442x2048, 105901_23398092.jpg)

Any Weeb anons reading The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All by Arai Sumiko ?

Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue) 07:02:48 AM No. 279197

>>279193
So it is a real manga and not just one shot? How much is released already?

Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue) 10:38:50 AM No. 279213

Just had a date. It's been two years since a big breakup. I'm feeling even more discouraged. She was the only lesbian in my area amongst a sea of couples, men, gender/queer - specials and we just didn't hit it off. The date was pretty boring.

Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue) 11:22:46 AM No. 279220

>>279193
I really enjoy it and can’t wait for the next chapter, but I think it is funny how they are bonding over their boomer dad taste in music

Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue) 05:34:02 PM No. 279248

>>279197
Nah its like a lot of 3 page chapters (currently ch13 I think) uploaded every sunday. Very Shoujo ai I think the ending will probably just be a confession and that's it.

>>279220
yeah rocker gf idea is so cute too surprisingly I haven't really seen that in yuris before. Why do we only get school girl shit. Lowkey starting to feel deceptive in how it's a secret though makes me a little sad but the art is so cute.

nb4 anyone says go to m I scrolled like 10 pages and there's no yuri thread it's dead!

Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue) 08:41:50 PM No. 279280

>>279248
>I think the ending will probably just be a confession and that's it
Kind of sad, but then again it means there won't be any guy friend or long-lost ex bestfriend drama arc, so it is a win in my book. Better short and sweet than a drawn out flop with 5 breakup arcs.
Also I don't know how to feel about the green backgrounds (it is weird but it doesn't annoy me though thankfully)

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 12:37:25 AM No. 279325

>>279213
Don't be discouraged.I hope you meet someone nice.

I just got off a 7 year relationship by them pulling a no contact. Crazy because my gut is telling me she cheated and she just can't come clean about it. Next week would have been out anniversary too.
Los Angeles Lesbians sounds very intimidating so I'll be single for a while.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 01:00:46 AM No. 279327

not sure if this makes me sound like a loser but meeting a lesbian off here and hitting it off sounds fun to me. is that dumb?

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 01:49:07 AM No. 279331

>>279327
I'd never contact someone from here because catfishing but I'm manifesting a weird terminally online butch to randomly appear in my life IRL. I want us to share a bed and a meme folder.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 02:09:47 AM No. 279337

>>279327
maybe this is retarded but now you mention it i wonder if the radfem sides of tumblr and twitter might be good for getting to know women?

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 02:24:35 AM No. 279338

>>279337
ayrt def not! theres just something kinda nice about knowing someone being the same brand as weird and chronically only as the other anon said, yk? but its something to think about.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 05:13:29 AM No. 279348

>>279327
I'd love to make irl friends here but I'm ugly so no.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 09:53:34 AM No. 279370

>>279348
we can be ugly together nona

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 03:40:22 PM No. 279398

File: 1659541222533.jpg (62.06 KB, 730x380, image.jpg)

I'm curious, how many of you would date a detrans woman?

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 03:44:25 PM No. 279399

>>279398
Never anyone with the word trans associated with them, ‘de’ or not

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 04:03:21 PM No. 279403

>>279398
i would, but thats just me

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 04:08:56 PM No. 279405

>>279398
>>279403
I would too since I prefer masc women

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 04:48:19 PM No. 279410

>>279398
Depends how far into transition she was and how much testosterone warped her body. I don't want to suck on a 3 inch clit but the titchop wouldn't bother me. Frog voice would likely be a deal breaker for me and I'd need her to get the beard completely lasered off if she ended up with one. I love female masculinity but what T does to the body is beyond just masc.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 04:51:17 PM No. 279412

>>279398
Being trans anything implicates that there’s some bpd shit going on so I’ll pass

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 05:07:17 PM No. 279418

>>279398
Personally it's not the effects of hormones or surgeries that repulse me because she's still a woman but I would still avoid dating them simply because they come with too much mental baggage and problems that would hinder the relationship immensely.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 06:19:31 PM No. 279432

>>279398
>>279405
Agreed. Well, maybe not masc, but definitely harder facial features.
Top surgery kinda freaks me out, so maybe not someone without boobs.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 06:20:59 PM No. 279433

Have y'all seen benedetta? I want that to happen to me

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 06:22:37 PM No. 279434

>>279398
I would if T hasn't completely ruined her body. But only if she has healed mentally from the gender shit and self hatred like other anons mentioned. A dertans woman would probably be wonderful if she learns to love and embrace herself as a masc woman.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 07:05:41 PM No. 279444

>>279433
I wish I already watched it. A woman wanted to go to the movies with me and I suggested it, but she instead wanted to watch some shitty romcom about a straight couple and a gay male couple and I feel cheated.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 07:10:20 PM No. 279447

>>279444
You gotta watch, it's so good. Renaissance convent lesbianism, sign me up

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 07:37:51 PM No. 279458

Would you consider being called a dyke an insult? I used to think that word was really bad and feared being called that (back when I didn't understand my sexuality and also didn't want people to think I liked women for some reason) but now I wouldn't really care

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 08:09:20 PM No. 279469

>>279458
It's still an insult, just not one I'm gonna give power to by letting it bother me too much. I like throwing it at other lesbians that I'm close with, just as an in-joke. Nobody but lesbians should be allowed to use the word though, it's an insult out of anyone else's mouth.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 08:51:14 PM No. 279483

>>279337
Both are cesspits full of drama and stupid discourse (I saw some radfem blogs say that strap-ons were invented by porn and only fake lesbians use them) but there are some cool people in those circles. But they're not people I'd want to date.

Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed) 11:05:57 PM No. 279500

>>279418
Agreed.
I'd worry about whatever personality trait that led she to becoming trans developing into some other issue

Anonymous 08/04/22 (Thu) 12:46:02 AM No. 279508

File: 1659573962474.png (155.13 KB, 459x344, tumblr_inline_mgnggmKFQQ1r22u1…)

Saging because it's dumb as hell but I'm going to an arcade with my friends later tonight. The issue is… some girl I matched with and ghosted because I wasn't feeling it at all works there. Pray for me nonnas, this is my punishment for being a stereotypical ghosting dyke :')

Anonymous 08/04/22 (Thu) 01:06:17 AM No. 279511

>>279398
Yeah as long as she dealt with whatever mental issue caused her to troon out. I don't mind the effects of T, I have hirsutism and am totally open to dating another bearded lady kek. No phallo though because it freaks me out.

Anonymous 08/04/22 (Thu) 03:05:05 AM No. 279517

>>279508
I hope you have a good time nonita! I took a chance 9 months ago and texted back a woman I thought I wouldnt vibe with but found really cute. I texted her out of the blue when she crossed my mind after ghosting her for 2 years and while she did give me a hard time about the ghosting (rightfully so), she enjoyed our first date so much it turned into a whole weekend spent together with sorrowful parting when we had to go back to our respective jobs. She took a chance herself texting me back, and we’ve been dating ever since. I just got done making our dinner and packing our lunches for tomorrow and she fell asleep on the couch looking so precious. Sometimes life works out in unexpected ways!

Anonymous 08/04/22 (Thu) 04:26:45 AM No. 279521

>>279517
Thank you nonita! I definitely had fun with my friend and his sister, I even managed to win one of those plague doctor squishamallows after 2 tries at the claw machines :)
Awww you and your gf sound so cute wtf I want that for myself one day. Sadly even if I hit this girl up again I don't think it'll go anywhere since rn I'm living and working in a very seasonal beach area until I go back to college, she told me her situation is similar lol. On the bright side she wasn't working there so I was able to avoid the awkwardness. I do feel bad though, part of me just wants to hit her up to explain myself- I recently got two jobs so I have no time to myself let alone going on dates.

Though, I did decide to hit up my friend from college who I have a crush on about a month ago to tell her I was watching Arcane which she kept telling me to watch when we were on campus together. I'm awful at watching shows but it was a perfect reason to talk to her again (plus it's VERY good holy shit) and now we've been talking for the past… month and a half iirc? So hopefully THAT goes somewhere, I tested the waters with flirting (told her I thought she would look nice in a skirt) and her reaction wasn't negative so I'm gonna take that as a small victory.(:))

Anonymous 08/04/22 (Thu) 04:56:44 PM No. 279593

>>279398
I have a lot of sympathy for detransitioners and I tend to agree with a lot of their views, so it's not something I'm opposed to ideologically, but I'm not attracted to most masculine women, so it might not work out. I know most hormone effects besides the face, genitals, voice (which I can tolerate), stay the same while other physical changes like fat distribution go away, but I see some of them still struggle with facial hair.
I also couldn't date someone who had any surgeries like no breasts or a fake penis.

Anonymous 08/05/22 (Fri) 09:01:28 AM No. 279721

I had a really lovely sex dream about a girl I was pining with years ago but eventually ended it due to my own internalized homophobia and it still feels like a kick in the stomach. I still follow her socials and she makes my heart throb even to this day but she rightfully got over me being such a fucking tease and moved on with her life. I hate being semi-closeted because I feel like I will live forever alone for the rest of my life because I can't rip off the bandaid and just be openly gay. I'm too afraid of being disowned by my family, thought of as a degenerate by the society around me and the woman I love breaking my heart by leaving me for a man because it's happened so many times around me. Sorry for venting but I'm genuinely upset about this all the time.

Anonymous 08/05/22 (Fri) 12:09:15 PM No. 279735

>>279721
I'm perhaps too giddy about being out and visible but it has opened up so many doors for me that any street harassment or family hostility has been completely worth it. If your area is truly unsafe then obviously you're not a shit person or a coward for not being out but if you're not in physical danger, I say take the plunge. The tolerance of straight people isn't worth missing out on real lesbian connections. If you're not visible, you won't find community.

Whenever I see a fellow lesbian out on the street, we exchange smiles or nods and even that is so powerful. You will feel loved.

Anonymous 08/05/22 (Fri) 06:41:44 PM No. 279772

>>275420
Fetch the bolt cutters
You've been there too long

Anonymous 08/06/22 (Sat) 08:47:42 AM No. 279868

File: 1659775662589.jpg (155.97 KB, 939x498, damn bitch.jpg)

Have you ever gone to a woman's house and suddenly completely lost interest in her due to her lack of tidiness? I am absolutely by no means a clean freak but I went to the apartment of a girl I've been seeing casually for the first time and to get to her bed I was wading literally shin-deep in dirty laundry and alcohol bottles. She shrugged it off by saying she worked 5 days this week, bitch so did I, I didn't forget how to use a laundry hamper and a bin ffs. The bottom of my grey socks were black after walking on her landing carpet.
She also pressures me to drink more than I'd like and then makes fun of me for being a lightweight (after I'm drunk off of an entire bottle of wine) so I don't think it was meant to be. Disappointing because she's really cute but this is more than I can handle kek.

Anonymous 08/06/22 (Sat) 09:56:42 AM No. 279878

>>279868
Girl, she’s an alcoholic. You dodged a bullet
>she worked 5 days this week
Kek, doesn’t almost everyone work 5 days a week

Anonymous 08/06/22 (Sat) 02:13:59 PM No. 279898

>>279868
>The bottom of my grey socks were black after walking on her landing carpet.
oh god
>he also pressures me to drink more than I'd like
I'd consider what her intentions are here

Anonymous 08/06/22 (Sat) 03:29:11 PM No. 279903

>>279898
>>279878
>>279868
you definitely dodged a bullet there, nona. the drinking is definitely a red flag, what she does for herself is her own choice but an entire bottle is not lightweight amounts.

Anonymous 08/07/22 (Sun) 08:30:22 PM No. 280114

File: 1659904222240.jpg (88.69 KB, 521x755, carol_ver7.jpg)

I just finished watching Carol. God, did it give me butterflies. I wanna fall in love like this with an older woman. I'd prefer it if the ending made it more obvious that they were gonna be together, like a grand kiss and a hug like you see in cheesy het romantic dramas. It's not fair…

Anonymous 08/08/22 (Mon) 08:19:39 PM No. 280646

>>279868
I can understand being a messy person because I'm one myself. But her sheer shameless about it is the most shocking, because it indicates she doesn't see anything wrong with it. A messy person who is embarrassed or hides their messiness at least knows it's not okay.

Anonymous 08/08/22 (Mon) 09:07:58 PM No. 280656

It's finally happened. I'm trying to write this in chronological order. This is a LDR of 7 years btw.

>friend died tragically/dog died/ possible failure of job exam/ dealing with fire emergency/ family members sick
>gf dissappears for a month
>I text her every day to see if she'll talk to me
> finally talks to me and tells me it's bc she is busy with her new job. Every day she felt guilty about not talking to me so it piled up. She likes hanging out with her friends.
> tells me she needs a biopsy for cancer
> tells me she has no response when I asked her if she loved me. And that she needs more time.

I can't believe I wasted 7 Years with her. Should I stay or should I go? I'm still in love with her and everything hurts.im concerned about her diagnosis but she didn't even flinch about it. She gets drunk often now.
I even had the idea of going to go see her to see if she's ok or talk yo her but I don't want to seem crazy. Any advice would be appreciated.

Anonymous 08/08/22 (Mon) 09:09:10 PM No. 280658

>>280656
The top part where I explained that my friend died is things that happened to me in the last 3 months.

Anonymous 08/08/22 (Mon) 10:24:46 PM No. 280672

>>280656
While my impulse is to give her the benefit of the doubt, what truly matters for you is that whether your needs were met. Doesn't mean she is evil or unkind necessarily, just an objective look at whether you were fulfilled in a time of need. Answer is obviously that you weren't when you needed support at a time of loss and she made it about herself b saying she felt guilty.

What do you need now?

Anonymous 08/08/22 (Mon) 11:31:25 PM No. 280678

>>280656
Love yourself nonnie. It's gonna hurt for a long time to break it off but someone who ghosts you for a month after a seven year relationship and won't say she loves you back does not deserve the love you're giving her or the support you're offering. Not to mention that a long distance relationship where one person can't be bothered to even text back won't work - LDRs can fall apart easily even with good communication, which this is not. You deserve to be loved whole-heartedly.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 01:44:00 AM No. 280698

File: 1660009440017.jpeg (266.57 KB, 828x862, F045E8F0-397F-4783-B1C5-7402D2…)

excuse you? this made me sick to my stomach

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 01:51:32 AM No. 280700

>>280698
kek, good ol bisexual erasure. How woke.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 01:55:51 AM No. 280702

>>280698
you'd think after what recently happened with roe v wade in america these people would be able to show the tiniest bit of empathy towards women who don't want to be involved with penises

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 02:47:55 AM No. 280704

>>280698
Sage for rant; I have no problem with bisexuals, but I honestly wish these "inclusive queer" types would shut the fuck up about genitals have nothing to do with sexuality. The vast majority of people do not have an intersex condition where their genitals are ambiguous (and even then people are still male or female, it's just a genetic issue), and someone's phenotype correlates to what genitals they have the vast majority of the time. Up until this gender madness became more mainstream, everybody knew what someone meant when they said "I like women/men", because it was understood that woman=female=having a vulva and man=male=having a penis.

I thought it was Trans Politics 101 that gender is a social construct? Animals don't ask each other what their pronouns are when they're in heat (especially not the ones who mate with the same sex). When I was figuring out who and what I liked during puberty, I wasn't trying to oppress transgenders (a literal minority, I never even met one until I was an adult) when I realized that male bodies and penises were not appealing to me and never would be? And even if this was a "preference" that was caused by being abused, my therapist has told me that I deserve consent and can say no to whoever I want.

"Lesbians" who "like dick" are either lying to save face or kinsey 4/5 bisexuals who think mainly liking feminine people makes them not bisexual.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 02:52:01 AM No. 280705

>>280704
it's so telling that their #1 target is always "lesbians who don't like dick" and not "gay men who don't like pussy" or straight women or men

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 04:52:47 AM No. 280718

>>280705
AYRT, they do say that about gay men now, but the difference is if a straight woman pretending to be a man walked into gay club full of bears and whatnot, she'd get laughed at. The other way around wouldn't go the same way.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 08:57:44 AM No. 280754

File: 1660035463881.jpeg (1.15 MB, 1125x3697, 1659802258361.jpeg)

>>280698
I wonder if she even tried to have sex with a trans women

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 09:58:19 AM No. 280758

>>280754
These women generally don’t date deep-end mtfs (and to be fair majority of mtfs that do the big snip are gay men), they are just bisexuals who date some crusty they/them male who wears female underwear. These “lesbian” women are completely removed from the realities of dating “transbians” which is why it is so easy to virtue signal on twitter about it.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 10:21:51 AM No. 280761

What would you think if your new gf had weekly sleepovers with a single lesbian friend of hers? To make it worse, I think they had sex in the past, many years ago.
Trying to gauge whather I'm being paranoid/overly jealous or not.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 10:45:52 AM No. 280764

>>280761
Uhhhh that's sus as fuck and I'd dump her.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 12:19:30 PM No. 280773

>>280761
She's still having sleepovers with her? I don't like that at all.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 04:04:07 PM No. 280790

>>280754
I read this post when I started looking into more gender critical stuff and it was years ago, it kind of turned my world upside down because when I was a libfem I saw lesbians just say "I'm penis repulsed, so I would only date a post op transwoman" as a save, and I figured I would use that excuse too if I was asked, since most TIMs don't get surgery and the ones who do are usually attracted to men only.

I think the insidious part IMO is that the OP says if you had sex with a woman before then you'd realize it's different. But a lot of lesbians nowadays are very inexperienced and I have friends that are aged between 20-30+, and half of them have dated or had sex and most never were in a LTR. I'm on the older side and have problems finding someone my age to just hook up with. Why? Because our apps are full of men and women who want threesomes, our LGB spaces were rebranded to be "queer, inclusive", the few lesbian bars opened are also inclusive and allow anyone. There isn't a real place to explore homosexuality IME unless you're really lucky and have a lot of gay friends IRL that aren't queerios.

A lot of these girls will be told it's the same and believe it because they never experienced what actual sex is a woman is like. I knew a girl who was pressured to date TIMs as a teenager since she was told they're women too and it traumatized her so much (and the TIM assaulted her), she was too scared to have actual sex with a real woman. And she met more women who went through this too later.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 07:43:35 PM No. 280829

>>280790
You are def right, couple the pressure on lesbians to be inclusive with misogyny and misinformation around vaginas and you will get young girls getting poisonings and infections from getting exposed to mtf's poop bacteria festering amholes. I can see how especially underage girls (and we know tims are predators and I don't put it past for some 30yo to prey on a teen lesbian) can just end up thinking that the shit stink or weird inside is just normal "variation". I mean when I was a teenager I thought there was something wrong with me because my pussy didn't stank like fish since everyone was making "jokes" about how vaginas stink and nowadays on top of that you get TRA's reeing at kids about penises being female genitalia and Teen Vogue (? maybe it was some other magazine) making articles on lesbian sex 101 that includes anal sex and prostate stimulation

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 08:17:12 PM No. 280832

>>280761
i would go crazy with jealousy if this was me. def sus as fuck

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 08:51:23 PM No. 280841

>>280829
AYRT, that's true, but as I said most TIMs don't get surgery and the ones who do are gay men trying to become "straight women". I actually hardly see "lesbian sex ed" that talks about neo"vaginas" (bc only less than 10% of TIMs get surgery), but on the flip side, a lot of young lesbians are being coerced into dealing with actual penis. There's so much stuff saying that penises are like strap-ons (or that if you're willing to use a dildo then a penis is the next logical conclusion), or that you can just have sex without touching his penis or let him do things to you. That was basically what my friend who was assaulted and other lesbians who were coerced by TIMs said it was like.

That's kind of why some lesbians just lie and say they would "only date a post op transwoman" because there are hardly any "transbians" who actually do it. It's a lie to save face, but as that Tumblr post described it, it wouldn't be an enjoyable experience either since it's an inverted penis with nothing connecting on the inside. It's like choosing between vomit and poop.

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 09:15:13 PM No. 280848

>>280656
Have you ever even met in real life?

Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue) 10:20:52 PM No. 280857

>>280656
sorry to be harsh but this is why ldrs need to last a year or 2 max. most people in relationships date for a few years and then settle down, either formally or by moving in together. i would never date someone for more than a few years without moving in with them. what's the point?

Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed) 02:04:54 PM No. 280932

I found a chapter about medieval lesbians, so I'm sharing some tidbits
>The main problem with lesbians, according to the church, was that they were involved with secret girly touching and led other women away from marriage and husbands. Tsk tsk , for shame. Canonists didn’t really know what to do with them, and often just looked the other way and focused on more pressing matters, like whose cow was allowed to eat the grass on the verge between two properties and whether or not the bread was undersized.
>By the fourteenth century, the mumblings and veiled comments developed into full-blown angst. Women who loved women in any other way than a firm, platonic friendship were now viewed with hostility. Women were cautioned not to form strong friendships with other women, just in case an unnatural attachment might blossom. Sermons were needed. Fingerpointing happened. Name-calling became nastier and more frequent.
>In this respect, sinning with a close female friend carried the same punishment as sinning alone, which is a bit surprising. Normally solo activities were slightly less punishable offences than group ones. Fasting for penance was defined as fasting for all holy days, not every day of the week. Mind you, there was an extremely large number of holy days. Saint’s days, which made up public holidays, numbered around sixty a year, a lot of time for reflection of sins.
About sex toy use in medieval times
>They might have straps, all the better to play with a friend. Confessional advice.
>They might not have straps. All the better to play solo. More confessional advice.
>They are shown by the basket full. Marginalia manuscripts of naughty nuns.
>Several images show the cat running away with them. More manuscripts.

Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed) 08:47:44 PM No. 280979

>>280672
>>280678
>>280848
>>280857
Yeah she basically stopped talking to me when my life became upside down.

I haven't met her in rl yet she kept giving every excuse and she had very possessive parents that prevented her from being close to others. She recently moved which she was going to buy me my ticket before she stopped talking to me.

I feel like I'm getting older, I'm 29 and I'm turning 30 next year. I have always played it safe and always tried to do the right thing…so for myself, I bought a plane ticket to confront her to have a conversation on what happened. I know it will be an eventual heartbreak but if im going to suffer I want to do it properly so I can be over her completely and not have the "what if" for the rest of my life.
I want to tell this thread that I'll update once I go. This is going to be the one crazy, irrational thing that I did in my 20's.

Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed) 09:03:47 PM No. 280980

>>280979
This is very similar to what my friend went through, including a very juvenile LDR gf with controlling and overbearing parents that always had excuses on why she couldn’t get serious and commit irl. Only she is much younger. And my advice to you is to not start yet another LDR/e-flirting thing as a rebound, because that will be just pathetic lol.

Anonymous 08/11/22 (Thu) 04:22:11 AM No. 281034

>>280932
They had straps??

Anonymous 08/11/22 (Thu) 04:46:26 AM No. 281039

>>281034
Yeah people often say it's a modern invention, but Katherina Hetzeldorfer was executed in 1477 for female homosexuality and she made a strap.
>“She made an instrument with a red piece of leather, at the front filled with cotton, and a wooden stick stuck into it, and made a hole through the wooden stick, put a string through, and tied it round; and therewith she had her roguery with the two women….”
There also was Bertolina, who was charged in 1295 for the use of them.
The oldest known relic that’s believed to be a strap-on is from the Upper Paleolithic Period, 30,000 B.C. Personally I've never used a strap nor do I think it's essential. It's interesting however how old the practice is.

Anonymous 08/11/22 (Thu) 04:48:16 AM No. 281040

>>281039
Holy shit that's based lmao. Thanks for sharing

Anonymous 08/11/22 (Thu) 05:10:38 AM No. 281044

File: 1660194638636.jpg (99.24 KB, 288x371, the universe by hildegard of b…)

>>281040
The funny thing is that the catholic church might have unwittingly promoted lesbianism by constantly fucking asking about it in detail during confession. And basically teaching women how to make straps. They make it sound like lesbian nuns were extremely common. Especially in Germany. I got most of the info from "the very secret sex lives of medieval women" by Rosalie Gilbert. You're welcome!

Anonymous 08/12/22 (Fri) 01:15:57 AM No. 281190

>>280761
You should bring it up

Anonymous 08/12/22 (Fri) 04:01:28 PM No. 281305

Been seeing a girl for a few weeks and I can't tell what's going on. In person she seems very interested, takes note of little things I say or do, proposes fun things to do and plans ahead, even told me she's deleted every dating app and isn't seeing anyone else because she's seeing me. But then I get some mixed signals when she's away: last week after the date I suggested we saw each other again on the next day or the day after before I went on vacation, and suddenly she said she was busy with a friend even though she didn't say anything about it when I talked about it during the date, and even though during said date she invited me to stay the night? Was she gonna kick me out on the next day? I don't know, it felt off, especially because our end-of-date goodbye felt very rushed on her part, like she couldn't wait to leave. She's also a very slow texter with me, sometimes she reads my message but doesn't reply for a day or more, though she uses her phone. At the same time, she already planned a date for the week I go back from the vacation.
Am I reading too much into it? I know that some people just hate texting, but you know… Sometimes it's just difficult to read people.

Anonymous 08/12/22 (Fri) 05:04:02 PM No. 281313

>>281305
As someone who hates texting, this sounds normal to me. Plus like you don't have to be attached at the hip. At worst it just sounds like she's forgetful or has ADHD.

Anonymous 08/12/22 (Fri) 05:18:47 PM No. 281315

>>281313
Understandable. As someone who's been burned often with dating app people and their tendency to move on fast and ghost without a second thought, sometimes I overthink it (but I keep it to myself, don't wanna come off as paranoid kek). I guess that if she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have planned another date.

Anonymous 08/12/22 (Fri) 05:49:18 PM No. 281318

>>281315
NTA but yeah, take it easy. You can start feeling bad if she cancels the next date but you're good for now.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 01:32:40 PM No. 281620

I'm sorry if this sounds retarded but I feel like it's really hard to find women who are have lower incomes, lower education levels, aren't professionals, whatever. On apps I can't even find women to swipe on because I guess I'm the only lesbian in my area who doesn't have a university degree.

Obviously it's wonderful that women are successful and I'm not trying to complain about that, I just wish it was easier to find women at my class level too. It's hard to watch my straight friends who are also poor get into relationships super easily with other poor straight people. Where are all the wageslave lesbians? Maybe poor women are more vulnerable to comphet and get stuck with men for financial reasons? Idk. The only women I ever find in my income range have kids from a previous moid.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 01:43:48 PM No. 281621

>>281620
The poor lesbians I know tend to have religious backgrounds and avoid apps because they have self-hating issues. They're more interested in integrating into het society than finding love with a woman. Of course, that is my anecdotal experience.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 04:42:19 PM No. 281648

File: 1660408939905.png (94.92 KB, 321x285, unknown_4.png)

>>279410
>I don't want to suck on a [spoiler]
As a lesbian with a DSD genetic condition, I remember my first gf as a teenager calling my clit "weird" and I haven't been in a relationship since. I've basically accepted it but it still stings to be reminded.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 05:15:58 PM No. 281651

i can’t remember if i’ve posted about this before but basically i’m wondering if i’m doing sex “wrong” with my girlfriend. my girlfriend and i both like tribbing (i think that’s the word) and whereas my girlfriend can get off from scissoring, i usually need something a bit pointier and end up using her hip bone. i got kind of used to masturbating using the corner of a desk so it’s made it more difficult to orgasm from fingering/cunnilungus (although we tend to not do the latter because my girlfriend doesn’t really like giving or receiving). my girlfriend seems satisfied with all this but i can’t help but feel like im just using her body to masturbate when i grind against her. idk

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 05:41:44 PM No. 281655

>>279398
I struggle to look at people that very clearly have had plastic surgery they just look so uncanny and wrong to me.
>>281648
You probably shouldn't let that one encounter hold you back. Teenagers are dumb.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 09:49:03 PM No. 281693

>>281655
That's true. It's the weird mix of "already insecure because of being attracted to women living in the bible belt" and "too many androgens made my body more masculine and that makes me feel out of place around women". I don't necessarily consider myself any more butch than your average tomboy either. But I feel almost like if I do try to put myself out there, I have to present myself as more masculine to make up for my body's development.

The only positive of the current troonery trend is that my body doesn't look too different from most ftms, but it feels more embarrassing to try to explain my health condition than I think it would be to say, "I'm on T" or something.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 09:52:11 PM No. 281694

>>281620
Huh, I'm having the opposite experience. Majority of women I find here are lower income and didn't go to uni.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 10:06:54 PM No. 281695

>>281693
Don't be embarrassed about your condition. I'm the anon that made the post about the spoilered clit length and I wasn't thinking of medical reasons at all, my mind went to purposely doing that to oneself. If you want to present more masc you can always do so but there is no one acceptable way to be, what makes you feel comfortable is what you should go with.

Anonymous 08/13/22 (Sat) 10:22:57 PM No. 281697

>>281693
>I don't necessarily consider myself any more butch than your average tomboy either. But I feel almost like if I do try to put myself out there, I have to present myself as more masculine to make up for my body's development.
Are you me? My clit is average but I have really bad hirsutism. I'm naturally tomboyish too but I feel like I need to butch it up since my body is so masculine. It feels like only FTM chasers could possibly be attracted to me so I might as well go full man you know?

Anonymous 08/14/22 (Sun) 04:43:10 AM No. 281747

>>281693
>>281697
Huh I'm butch and I feel opposite pressure. I always feel like I'm expected to make up with more femininity for not having a feminine body. It's not that I give into the pressure, I just complain about it. Like the only times I've seen other women seem to be into butches, is with the expectation that there's a super curvy body hidden underneath the men's clothes. Almost to make up for being butch. Or bicurious women hoping that there's 0 sign you're a woman, which doesn't count. I wish I could be chased, but I just feel like my body is either too masculine or feminine and I make things more difficult for myself by being butch.

Anonymous 08/14/22 (Sun) 05:42:29 AM No. 281752

>>281620
Weirdly relatable, I notice one struggle I have with relationships is I never have time outside of work, so I go on apps, but then I'm paycheck-to-paycheck and I'm lucky if I have any money left over for anything actually fun to do like going out for dinner or to an arcade. I kind of wish there were women my type nearby in this boat since I feel like a NEET except I do have a job

Anonymous 08/14/22 (Sun) 02:20:18 PM No. 281801

File: 1660486817883.png (654.11 KB, 703x740, 6.PNG)

Happy Sunday to my fellow lesbians who don't have faces or who are just stripy blobs

Anonymous 08/14/22 (Sun) 07:14:05 PM No. 281839

File: 1660504445727.jpeg (27.08 KB, 554x554, images (3).jpeg)

Bump. The dumbass score is posting porn and sperging again.

Anonymous 08/14/22 (Sun) 07:37:33 PM No. 281840

>>280790
My gf dated a mtf tranny for like years..and he was so abusive and manipulative towards her I think it messed her up a bit it makes me so sad(and angry at that man) she has a hard time saying no to anything that at the end I have to help her stand up for herself I love her so much and will always treat her kindly and softly
Has anyone been in a relationship like this?? Like dated someone who was abused by a Tim ?

Anonymous 08/14/22 (Sun) 07:41:44 PM No. 281842

>>281801
Somewhat disappointed that the bot makes the pictures all have flags in the background. I suppose it could be worse, the bot could've made it all porn. And are there really that many "lesbian flag remade" flags being used also? I hope not and the bot's just messing around with colors. The current most used flag isn't perfect but I couldn't care less about who makes pride flags. People care way too much about that and it ruins lesbian cohesion with immature shit.

Anonymous 08/14/22 (Sun) 11:17:40 PM No. 281876

>>280980
After this, I don't think I will do Ldrs or e-dating anymore. I am extremely heartbroken and am so scared and confused. I feel like I'm just putting all my efforts to the meeting. As of right now I'm trying to just relax and do self care but it's hard because I have anxiety. I can't eat or sleep well, but I bought some vitaminq gummies to try to see if I can sleep.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 02:19:17 AM No. 281887

File: 1660529957692.png (515.63 KB, 656x1046, dallemini_2022-8-14_21-18-21.p…)

>>281801
I fixed it

Tag yourself I'm top right half face ripped off lesbian

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 03:18:21 PM No. 281962

anyone else think they will probably be single most of their life

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 04:41:34 PM No. 281977

>click g on lolcow
>grandma barges in to say a prayer I look at my computer screen see lesbian general
>close screen while she's looking at screen
>says prayer and leaves

Why does being in the closet have to be so stressful.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 04:49:56 PM No. 281980

>>281840
I've had multiple close friends who were, so I kind of understand the "mindset" for how it goes on. Almost all of them were "TWAW" liberals who thought they should give him a chance (but some I talked to were fooled on dating apps or they were initially friends), and all had a denial phase and still used "she" when talking about him (I did the same thing when I had an emotionally manipulative TIM friend), but after a while they realized it was a man all along.

Is your GF some kind of gender-critical or open to the idea? Because a radfem blogger made a zine of artwork and writings from women who were hurt by TIMs (and not all of them are "transphobic", there are submissions from women with different kind of opinions), and she also has a "politically neutral" support group for it (similar to the zine, women with all kinds of opinions are allowed, but I assume that if you're in it, you're at least tolerant of radfems or gender-criticals).

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 05:07:24 PM No. 281984

>>281977
lmao sorry nonnie that sounds hilarious to me
Tell her you were putting hexes on all the evil lolcow lesbos

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 05:56:38 PM No. 281994

>>281977
I would’ve crapped myself and said a demon got into the computer and looked it up wtf
>>281962 why? Do you think singledom is more likely for lesbians?

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 06:44:59 PM No. 282009

>>280761
Piggybacking on this, what's you anons' stance on your girlfriend spending a lot of one-on-one time with a female friend?
Would you be okay with them having sleepovers, staying at each other's apartment all day or seeing each other more often than you see her? When is it "too much" for you, and does her sexuality matter? For example, would you be more upset at the friend being a lesbian/bi/an ex and staying at her place all day vs the friend being straight (that you know of) and them sleeping in the same bed alone? I feel like while in the case of a straight couple it'd be a definitive cause of breakup for most, with a lesbian couple + girl friend it's harder to draw a line, because they could actually just be "besties".

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 07:15:54 PM No. 282016

>>281962
For sure, I think I will be. I already am terminally single. I know I need to put myself out more, be active on dating apps etc., but I still don’t hold my breath over potential prospects

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 08:08:06 PM No. 282022

>>281962
I've been single for 20+ years (unless I count that one 'relationship' that was very one-sided) I do want to find somebody but I'm afraid to settle for someone who's lifestyle/personality doesn't mesh well with mine. I think lesbians were already rare to begin with and the new wave of genderspeicals/qweer/sjw types doesn't isn't helping

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 08:11:51 PM No. 282023

>>282016
Dating apps are full of fuckboys, wishy-washy types, pieces of shit only after their own gratification etc., I remember a study saying you're less likely to find someone special on dating apps because of how full of assholes they are

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 08:12:26 PM No. 282024

>>281962
Me. I hate that I'm a goldstar because I hate my ugly body and now I'm too old 31 to reveal that I'm still an inexperienced virgin. I spent years thinking I'm """"bisexual"""" yet never dated or had sex with a man because they repulsed me and only had feelings for and desired other women. Actually makes me want to kys myself and try again in my next life. I'm so tired nonnas, I'm so jealous of everyone who grew up in a supportive environment and/or realized their sexuality at an early age when they got to experiment and develop

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 08:26:20 PM No. 282026

>>281962
>>282023
Yeah. I never understood why "just download an app" is given as advice to lesbians when you can get banned for not being "inclusive" on most of them, and I've never gotten a match on any dating app that resulted in doing anything in person.

>>282024
Relatable. I'm so jealous of women who got to go on dates and experiment in their teens and 20s. At this point, I'd settle with fumbling around with a bored bi-curious woman as long as she doesn't have a boyfriend that wants a threesome. But I've talked to 30-33+ year old lesbians who never had a long term relationship, and they say they can get dates fine, they just don't tell that they're inexperienced.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 08:39:43 PM No. 282027

>>282016
I feel like most who use dating apps use it more to fight boredom and find a texting partner, rather than actually wanting to meet up. The only women who wanted to meet up were in a couple, trying to shill a MLM, or more interested in activities where you don't even get to know each other better (like going to the cinema for a first date?). I get assumed to be a fuckboy either way due to being butch and not wanting to jump into a relationship so fast (at this point you're expexted to make it official before even meeting), even though the serial monogamist hopeless romantic Uhaulers go through more women in a year than I'll ever be with in a lifetime.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 08:44:30 PM No. 282028

>>282027
I've known multiple women who have found short-term relationships and hook-ups through apps. I'd kill for that to be me.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 08:53:07 PM No. 282029

>>282026
Straight/bisexual people don't know how good they have it when they were able to experiment, fool around, learn all the relationship skills and become comfortable with sex in their teens and early 20's while we were too busy hiding or denying our true identities. I didn't come out as a lesbian until my late 20's after almost two decades of knowing it yet never admitting it to myself and by that point everyone had gotten over their gay until graduation phase and looked for a man to settle down and to start a family with.

Also I hate that the lesbians who are dating the same woman they did in high school or who have been out since they were 13 and dated a ton of women rarely understand how it feels like. When I read that "My lesbian experience with loneliness" book it was like having a third eye open when someone else was describing your feelings to such relatable degree. I dream about hot, passionate, fulfilling sex with a woman but in all honesty I would probably have a fucking panic attack if I had to take my clothes off in front of someone else but a medical professional. It legitimately makes me want to cry to know that my life turned out like this.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 09:56:19 PM No. 282045

>>281962
This might seem hypocritical coming from a married woman but I think a lot of you in here put too much stock in relationships. I've been around the block in my 31 years, and honestly the vast majority of relationships - both romantic and sexual - I would not repeat if I had a do-over of my life. Work on yourself, learn new things, exercise, volunteer at a local charity, get hobbies that take you out and about and help you to meet new people. Yeah, you probably won't meet "The One" (bullshit concept anyway) but fuck it, you'll have a richer life and hopefully make some awesome friends along the way. This "forever alone" mindset is toxic. It eats away at your confidence and self-esteem and it's a huge repellent to anyone who might actually want to date you. As my wife loves to tell me when I'm being a miserable dick: you can't truly love someone else until you truly love yourself.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 09:59:50 PM No. 282046

>>282023
>>282027
Yeah, I’m aware that dating apps are a trashfire, I just don’t know any alternative, since I don’t live in an accepting environment/country, so I can’t really go to events and try to meet lesbian women naturally or just be very open about my sexuality, because I am a pussy ass bitch that is afraid of being a social outcast.

Anonymous 08/15/22 (Mon) 10:06:32 PM No. 282050

>>282045
>This might seem hypocritical coming from a married woman
Yes it does. As someone in a stable relationship it's borderline cruel to tell people who have never experienced being loved romantically and being someone's significant other that "they're not missing out on anything". Looking back now you might think all those past relationships were worth nothing but they all helped you to grow into a person by reflecting on how someone you are emotionally intimate with perceived you. Love and acceptance are one of the basic human needs and without those you barely even feel like a person so to just tell someone to pull up their bootstraps and get busy with confidence and self esteem in a world that is also constantly battering you with bigotry and exploitation sounds almost spiteful.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 04:12:16 AM No. 282102

>>281980
God I wish, my gf is a butch lesbian who was friends with tons of trannies pre pandemic (more like pre before we dated since lots of those friends were friends of her ex and we moved to a different city this year so she has no contact with them anymore) and she was raised on tumblr so she believes twaw or whatever.. we had recent fights about it because I’m pretty gender critical and well she isn’t unfortunately. I hope In time she peaks or something but I’m unsure since the last time we talked about this she said something about relating to trans woman and that made me want to throw up
Do you mind sharing the zine or website of the radfem you’ve mentioned?? I’d love to read it and maybe someday be able to show it to her

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 04:30:13 AM No. 282105

>>282029
What breaks me is that I've known younger lesbians who have actually gotten opportunities to explore when I was scared and in the closet. Now trying to find someone to date with now as an adult is near impossible.

>>282050
For real. It's always the ones who have had things fallen into place and don't have the fear that no one will ever find them worthy who act like everyone else who struggles to get a relationship.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 04:32:52 AM No. 282106

File: 1660624372605.jpg (34.16 KB, 570x570, 01565b07e0e1082e94b53f3a80f6c4…)

If I'd wear a butch cowboy outfit in a picture next to a balloon cow, would that inspire you to swipe right on me?

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 04:42:37 AM No. 282108

>>282102
The zine is physical copy only (which might be hard if you live with people and hide your beliefs), but I checked the store and the copies are sold out. But it was created by kittyit on Tumblr, you can send her an ask on Tumblr about if there will be any reprints. It's called "You Told Me You Were Different" and I personally found it sad and insightful. Like I said it has submissions from women with various opinions (there's over 40 of them), some writings use the wrong pronouns like "she" or "they", others don't use any, and others outright say "he", "man", etc.

A lot of my friends who were assaulted by TIMs are still "allies" or tolerant towards transpeople as individuals, but they kind of took a "truscum" type attitude to it (ex. if transgender is a psychological condition where someone wants to change sex, then a man who wants to become female wouldn't be so eager to use his penis) and don't believe in the whole "if you say you're a woman, then you are one" BS anymore. One of my friends told me that she doesn't hate all TIMs, but she will NEVER be friends with a "translesbian" ever again, but is okay with gay TIMs who like men. So it's not mutually exclusive. I don't believe in TWAW either and I don't hate anyone, except rapists, which is why I'm willing to call a spade a spade for things like this.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 05:01:11 AM No. 282111

>>282106
yeas…

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 05:37:38 AM No. 282114

>>282102
Dude, are you me? We are in the exact same situation rn, it's crazy. A couple months ago my gf and I had another discussion where we each raised our own viewpoints and I asked her if she'd been doing any of her own research, because I've been good about using real life examples and studies. She said no, because she was afraid of what she'd find. I asked her if she wanted some links to resources and she said yes so I sent her some and we haven't talked about it again. Don't push her too hard anon, I went too hard because I was scared of losing her to this shit and feeling defensive, and I think that made her feel more caught in-between and anxious about the whole thing. Having friends who are actively involved in the cult makes it all worse. I still refer to my old highschool troon friend as she in front of her but I'm going to stop soon because it makes me feel like a hypocrite. Sorry for the huge blog it's just a shitty thing to be involved in. Especially for two young people who were practically 'raised in it'. There's still a sense of guilt and obligation to these people, especially when they used to be close friends who you respected and cared for.
>>282108
Seconding your recommendation, I've read excerpts and it's strangely comforting to know that you didn't meet the one exception. Makes you feel less crazy.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 06:14:48 AM No. 282116

>>282108
Thank you for the recommendations! There’s lots of good resources on her blog and I really appreciate your replies
>>282114
Your gf sounds more open minded than mines, but it does give me hope! Even though it sucks im a little glad to know I’m not alone in this kind of situation

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 11:24:26 AM No. 282139

>>282050
I spent years mourning the death of my first girlfriend, I know what it's like to feel like you'll never find anyone and feeling crushed by loneliness. I pushed so many people away with my "woe is me, I'm all alone" bullshit and enriching my life was what pulled me out of that hole. If you interpret that as spiteful that says more about you than it does me.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 11:57:04 AM No. 282141

>>282009
Interesting question, I'd like to know too. I was a bit surprised by the reactions to anon's post

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 02:29:41 PM No. 282159

>>282009
Neither my gf nor I would spend more time with anyone else than with each other, period. Sleepovers would never come up, perhaps we're too old. Neither one of us would share a bed with a friend. Tbh if it's leisure time we'd most likely be spending it together, if there are other people with us then there are but one of us would simply not go to a friend's house as an individual and then spend the night there. We do see friends 1 on 1 when we have spare time but not like that.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 04:31:10 PM No. 282183

>>282139
I doubt you understand the issue here anon… the feeling of loneliness you experience after a breakup or being widowed is way different from never having been loved, especially as a homosexual growing up with homophobia. When you've entered your 30's as a kissless virgin lesbian you have never received actual validation for your sexuality and battle with the intrusive thoughts telling you "maybe they're right and you're actually just straight and should try settling for a man". Even besides that lacking romantic and sexual experiences while the people around you treat them as natural as the air they breathe is soul crushing. Like said, it makes you feel inhumane and broken.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 05:13:59 PM No. 282192

>>282106
yes

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 05:20:20 PM No. 282193

>>282045
of course someone like you would say this. how could you know what it’s like to want something you’ve never been without…

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 06:11:34 PM No. 282202

Would you consider it weird for two inexperienced women to date if there was an age gap? I know it's very creepy for older moids to seek out younger girls for lack of experience, but what if it's two women that are equally inexperienced? Does it still come off as creepy to you? I say this as an (almost) 24 year old that hasn't dated before and I wouldn't be opposed to dating an older woman in early to mid 30s I've had some attractions to women older but I think someone as old as my mom would be very weird for me personally Tbh I think seeking inexperience is only creepy if you're seeking it out as leverage or a 'purity' fantasy

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 06:16:32 PM No. 282203

>>282202
Is 24 and someone in their early 30's really that big of an age gap? It depends a lot on your life situation though, there's a lot of variation between people aged 24-30. A 35-year old moid and a 21-year old woman would ring alarm bells for me but if it's a woman in her mid 20s and a woman in her early to mid 30s it doesn't sound as predatory. I'd be more concerned with that big of an age gap just making you hard to relate to each other than it being an unhealthy power dynamic.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 06:22:02 PM No. 282205

>>282202
I think it's weird and gross on the older woman's end. Being inexperienced with sex/relationships doesn't make someone an honorary young person or somehow "mentally" immature. I knew women in their 30s who purposely go out with early 20s because "they're inexperienced and need to find someone to match up with that", and that just feels like a BS excuse to live out some age gap fantasy. I missed a lot of "transitory" years of my life (dropped out of college prematurely, was outright fired from my first job and took years for me to get a new one, have never dated because I was forcibly outed once in high school) and struggle with feeling immature, but dating someone more than 2 years younger wigs me out because legal adult teenagers and early 20s look like kids in comparison to a 30 year old. I actually have talked to women in their early-mid 30s who are inexperienced and are too embarrassed to go on apps as a result, so it's not like inexperienced women that are their age don't exist.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 07:28:57 PM No. 282216

>>282202
24 is too young for a 30something, speaking as someone who is late 20s. It's not just about sexual experience, it's also about life stages and how easy it is to manipulate someone when you know how their brain works at that younger age. I would have too much power over someone who is 24, even in minor ways. The young person tends to inadvertently look up to the older person and that would be something that makes me uncomfortable as the older party, wouldn't be able to trust the younger person to draw healthy enough boundaries when her brain isn't even done developing. If it's casual sex then it's not a huge deal especially if you're both late bloomers or whatever but a fully fledged relationship requires peers imo.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 07:35:39 PM No. 282217

>>282216
It's also not rare to be an inexperienced 24 year old lesbian, the acceptable range for someone in that age would be 21-possibly 27 which is plenty of women who are also inexperienced or have never been in anything long term. It's mostly the mid 30s I would look down on for seeking someone 5 or more years younger out, it's not "pedo" or grooming obviously since they're both adults, but it comes off as very immature.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 07:47:41 PM No. 282220

at 24 most women are done with undergrad and are starting their careers… plus they probably pay their own rent and can drive. i don’t see how anyone can be manipulated at that point due to their age? you are fully grown.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 07:57:55 PM No. 282222

>>282220
My thoughts too, I guess if you still haven't figured life out you can feel like a kid at 24 but a lot of them are already starting their careers and can take care of themselves, you're not a child in your mid 20's. When I was 24 I was dating a 28-year old woman and it didn't feel predatory at all and we were completely on the same page (had been living on our own for years, I was almost done with uni and already at my first job etc), I doubt a 30-year old would've been that much different. I'm now 31 and while I personally wouldn't date someone more than 5 years younger, I have to say that if we really clicked and it wasn't me being just a sugar mommy to some NEET who's mentally stuck at 15 (like a lot of those straight Reddit horror story relationships) but more of two grown adults I wouldn't say no to it. It's weird how terminally online zoomers seem to think it's acceptable and normal to be like a teenager when you're well into your 20's.

But like said, it's very situational. If it's a 35-year old picking up lesbians in their early 20's because she's "too immature and inexperienced" it does raise an eyebrow, but I would probably consider her more pathetic than predatory. Unless she's straight out abusing them, that's an entirely another story.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 07:58:02 PM No. 282223

>>282220
It's about the older partner being immature and going for 5-6+ years younger women over someone their age. 24 isn't a kid, obviously, and they can make their own choices without the "grooming" card being pulled, but the perspective I see it is from the older side. When I was 24 I was absolutely delighted at the thought of dating a mature and responsible woman in her 30s or older, but now that I am that age, the thought of going for a 24 year old instead of someone close to my age is gross as hell to me. Even talking to my younger adult friends in real life who were kids when I was in high school is such a jarring experience because even if we're all adults now.

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 10:14:44 PM No. 282243

Anybody got any tips for using Tinder?

Anonymous 08/16/22 (Tue) 10:44:59 PM No. 282248

>>282220
anon if they're wigging out over dating more than two years younger I don't think they're gonna listen to reason kek

Anonymous 08/17/22 (Wed) 02:59:54 AM No. 282283

>>282243
use tinder to befriend lesbians or bisexuals who will introduce u to their circle… date from that circle

Anonymous 08/17/22 (Wed) 03:10:32 AM No. 282286

>>282283
I'll see what I can do …

Anonymous 08/17/22 (Wed) 05:33:05 AM No. 282295

>>282116
Glad it helps you feel less alone, I'm sure there are more who have been in this conundrum as well. I'm in this thread a lot, happy to talk anytime

Anonymous 08/18/22 (Thu) 06:35:51 PM No. 282504

>>282248
?? I'm just sharing my perspective and personal opinion since the other nonny asked. By all means if she wants to go through with the relationship then just do it, it's not my life.

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 01:42:01 AM No. 282983

I just read the newest chapter of that dumb green manga and I'm so over straight people writing lesbian media for titillation. The premise was creepy to begin with but all the lying juts makes me feel like I'm watching Boys don't cry in manga form. And all the straights are so excited by this plotline.

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 07:40:49 AM No. 283024

File: 1661154049708.jpg (80.44 KB, 700x587, Aristide Maillol-painting.jpg)

Quick re-write from the another thread but I need to know what other lesbian may think.

When I would have a stable life I would love to have a child with sperm donation but I'm having moral issues toward the child.

How adult treat you and the child is a society issues but interaction with kids is different : A white close friend who I was in school with had a black little brother who was adopted, and multiple time a week for years kid would come and ask her why her brother was black, she would say it was none of their business or I would say stupid lies but those curious small kids would come and ask her because they knew that it was not possible for white parents to make a biological black child. But being adopted was not a choice of the little brother, it was a needed thing due to an incident in his life. Same thing for single parents. But in this situation I make the choice myself for that child to have those question and discomfort weight on him, which could lead him to the same " lies" me and my friend told.

Also I would have the right to make the choice that he would only know where half of his physical and other weird body thing came from, and as someone who has different ethnic trait from my dad and mom I would have much more unresolved body issues if I did not have my whole family to look up to.

sorry for shit english my dyslexia is trought the roof right now

I wish I was a bird sometime

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 07:47:08 AM No. 283028

>>282983
That is just how shoujo/shoujo ai/yuri all other romance genres work unfortunately. Since the main point of the manga is the romantic relationship, authors add a bunch of dumb drama in between characters to move the plot forward. Imo, the only normal lesbian love story we can get is if it is a side plot in another genre, not the whole point of the story. Or keep manga as a one-shot/very short

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 12:17:40 PM No. 283081

>>283024
Hey anon, my wife and I are currently going through the beginning processes of IVF and about to start trying for a baby in the next few months, so I'll give you my thoughts. Yes, the kid will get shit for having lesbian mothers and obviously being the product of a sperm donor or adopted. It's inevitable, kids are great at sniffing out any differences in their classmates and needling away at it. However I think everyone goes through school getting shit and dare I say I think things are getting a bit better with regards to homosexuality, adoption, IVF, etc? Depending on where you live of course. I have three sisters under 11 and when the two older ones realised I only spoke about a girlfriend they quizzed me on why I don't have a boyfriend or a husband instead. I told them I just like women, that people like me are born this way in the same way they just happened to be born with a certain hair colour or eye colour. It clicked for them easily; and that's what I'll be telling my child and any curious friends they might make. If you keep it simple kids really don't care tbh, not unless they come from bigoted parents and they picked up something at home. As for the bullying, well, do any of us truly escape school without at least a little bullying? The main thing is that you have a good relationship with your kid and talk them through these things. I think people tend to think of kids like pets and just baby talk to them, but they're smarter than what we give them credit for. Keep it simple but keep them informed. Let them though that only their character matters, that being a good person is the most important thing to be. The family thing is awkward. It's only natural to wonder about these things, but again I think healthy communication is the only way to navigate these issues. I'm in a mixed race marriage so I understand needing to talk about that kinda stuff, but again I think honesty is key and accepting in advance that your child might want to seek out their biological father. It's a bitter pill to swallow and it breaks my heart I can't have a child naturally with my wife, but if I'm gonna be a worthy parent I have to confront these issues now and get used to them. I can't stick my head in my sand and get upset that my child will want to know things that are completely natural. I know I'm rambling here but basically if you do have a kid just talk to them, normalise being the product of a lesbian marriage and a sperm donor, let them know about the obstacles ahead with regards to other kids and build the foundations of healthy communication. Even if we lived in a perfect world where some crazy scientist could scramble two womens DNA together and make a baby, you would still have to deal with issues regarding bullying and family. Don't let yourself feel ostracised. I know how it feels to be looking at stuff about parenting and all you see is straight couples and it makes you feel unnatural and unholy and like having a child is just too wrong. It's not. The fact you're thinking about these things now means you're probably gonna do a great job as a mother. You'd be surprised how many parents out there are just winging it. I wrote an absolute novel here and it might not make total sense because my head is all over the place with baby talk lately and I'm also ESL and kinda stupid. But if you have any more questions or worries feel free to ask. Stay strong, anon.

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 01:50:23 PM No. 283096

ah nonnies. im currently reading animal farm by george orwell to my girlfriend. she speaks english as a second language and studies statistics and does data analysis so it’s a bit of a learning curve reading english fiction by herself but she says it’s a lot easier listening to me reading it. it’s so fun reading to her. anyway i love her so much

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 02:37:51 PM No. 283104

>>283028
True. The Collectors was pretty cute slice of life but it's so long I haven't read any of the chapters since like 2015. I joined the dynastyscans forum to air out my grievances but there's people talking about the rocker girls gender and whether she sees herself as a man and how its ok if she doesn't disclose because she might be trans and it's just oh damn I know 1/2 the commenters on there's are tims lol.

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 03:36:34 PM No. 283106

File: 1661182594403.png (1.21 MB, 1148x604, c.png)

>>282216
(age / 2) + 7

Anonymous 08/22/22 (Mon) 04:44:27 PM No. 283115

>>283106
male moment

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 08:34:29 AM No. 283199

>>283081
thank you for your message nonna. it means a lot to me. Sperm donation to lesbian is legal in my country and since this year the kid can know as an adult information about the donor, which reasure me more ngl, that the kid could know if he want, that it is an option.
every thing you wrote is interesting ! I don't have question right now, but I will ask you. I wish the best to you and your wife, you two stay strong

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 11:35:45 AM No. 283210

>>282983
>dumb green manga
what is the name of it ?

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 11:47:37 AM No. 283211

>>283210
THE GUY SHE WAS INTERESTED IN WASN'T A GUY AT ALL (I am not yelling, I just copy-pasted the title and am too lazy to change)

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 02:22:02 PM No. 283225

>>282983
At least the art is nice.

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 03:48:35 PM No. 283232

File: 1661269713864.gif (5.09 MB, 640x360, 476e8b454ad2ad5dc36bde58b45240…)

Me accepting I'll die single as the girl I'm dating, who claimed to be a lesbian and totally disgusted by men, suddenly posts "my type of man" videos with the ugliest moids I've ever seen

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 05:38:52 PM No. 283248

>>283211
thanks! I know it's bad but the girl with the glasses is so cute, I think I will read it just for her kek

>>283232
>who claimed to be a lesbian and totally disgusted by men, suddenly posts "my type of man" videos
jesus, I'm so sorry nonnie, didn't she realise that you would be able to see it ?

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 08:18:25 PM No. 283263

>>283232
>claimed to be a lesbian and totally disgusted by men, suddenly posts "my type of man" videos with the ugliest moids I've ever seen
Many such cases, unfortunately. Used to be a dyke could keep herself insulated from shenanigans by dating other lesbians, but ever since "compulsory heterosexuality" started to become a popular topic of debate there's been a huge uptick in """lesbians""" that are suspiciously invested in moids. A lot will play it off with a jokey, sarcastic tone, but deep down we all know the truth. Sorry you were a victim of one of these women, nonna.

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 08:44:16 PM No. 283266

>>283263
I know this topic has come up so many times in this thread (sorry lol) but when will it end. I got muted I think on a tiktok live where a like 16-20 yr was telling women that nonmen loving nonmen is the new definition of lesbian and words can change over time. These children are supposedly teaching other children this shit. When will being a lesbian not be cool anymore and we can go back to our super small communities with little to no tom foolery from straights and bis.

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 09:01:03 PM No. 283267

>>283266
AYRT, I know how ya feel. The phrase "nonmen loving nonmen" is enough to send me into a blind rage. I can't stand "Sapphic" or "WLW" but good grief, I'd take either of them over that pathetic excuse for a definition. We need to reclaim lesbianism and make it uncool again. I'm doing my part by being extremely boring, proudly butch and openly transphobic. Seriously though, I look back at vintage lesbian stuff and man… I long for a time I never even lived in. I've managed to curate a good circle of chill, older and mostly butch lesbians to hang out with IRL but it took me so long to find them. I wish it was easier for us for be amongst our own kind. No fakers, no comphet bullshit, no prejudice against butches, no drama, just good times. The rebellious underground club that queers think they have is unironically what lesbians and gay men who don't agree with transgenderism have. That's honestly what it feels like to try and socialise with other lesbians in the year of our Lord 2022.

Anonymous 08/23/22 (Tue) 09:12:36 PM No. 283268

>>283267
> The rebellious underground club that queers think they have
Piggybacking off of this, I have been looking at local events and noticed Queer movie night that was curated by the local movie festival. In fact all gay-friendly events have been taken and re-named into Queer events. I live in a homophobic country. Imagine thinking you are rebelling against system and smashing the stereotypes or whatever, meanwhile your voices are front and center in every single even slightly alternative event even in homophobic countries. If you are not 100% full pro-trans-neogender-neosexual, you have no place in LGBT events, EVEN IN HOMOPHOBIC COUNTRIES. Baffling. Of course I am not going, since it will only lead to eye-rolling and mingling with ugly straights

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed) 02:16:25 AM No. 283314

File: 1661307385705.png (120.54 KB, 683x730, Screenshot_151.png)

really lazy. can anyone debunk this shit, i feel like it must be fake
https://mainweb-v.musc.edu/vawprevention/lesbianrx/factsheet.shtml

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed) 05:20:33 PM No. 283396

File: 1661361633143.jpg (223.82 KB, 1242x1567, FRNMx_ZXMAEhPV6.jpg)

>>283314
this one

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed) 06:55:27 PM No. 283409

>>283396
wtf it's so skewed then. How did this even get published or whatever. And idk my first two gfs had issues but maybe that says more about me and the partners I chose instead of these statistics. I think mental health and partners is a very important thing to talk about and lesbians should be able to talk about but then straights and bi's run with it and it becomes lesbians dirty little secret it sucks.

>>283267
Me too I love being boring! Proud of you for doing your part. Yeah, I'll have to look for a group someday when I have the time. We'll all go back to analog lol. openlibrary.org has so many books written by lesbians I've never seen that many it's sad that our history/commentary of previous generations is being lost.

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 12:40:32 AM No. 283443

>>283396
Why is the percentage for bi women so much higher than the percentage for straight women?

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 01:13:59 AM No. 283447

/lg/ be honest with me, do I have the right to be upset at my girlfriend for hanging out with guys that are interested in her?

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 01:26:00 AM No. 283449

>>283314
The sample size of this is so small. White, middle class, and out of the closet? I personally know more lesbians who are poor and most in my area aren't white, whether they're out is 50/50. Let me guess, was this survey taken in a liberal state too?

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 01:33:52 AM No. 283450

>>283447
Yes that is sketchy behavior.

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 01:40:03 AM No. 283451

>>283450
I don't want to be accused of having a moid brain but I find it upsetting, feel like jealousy is consuming my body and I don't like it

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 02:04:17 AM No. 283457

I hate being a lesbian where I live. I’m in a very liberal state in the US, where basically everyone is let into lesbian spaces. I’m not talking about just troons, there’s so much more.

I have to deal with he/him lesbians, troonies, non-binary lesbians, bisexual lesbians, neopronouns, all this crazy bullshit

I got kicked out of my local lesbian study group because I refused to call a girl there by her proper pronouns. I can bite my tongue for troonies, I’ll use they/them if only to save face. But the pronouns where nya/nyan. I couldn’t do it. I hate it here. Hell world.

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 02:23:36 AM No. 283460

>>283451
Like one on one or in group settings? Was she in a friend group with these guys and the feelings came out or has she always known and chooses to hang out with them still? I’d consider some other factors before working yourself up.

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 03:27:23 AM No. 283465

I'm surrounded by handmadiens, enbees and tifs. And the worst part is this is a specifically female space and always has been so why do you as someone who doesn't identify as a woman get mad when we're all addressed as women when you could easily have gone somewhere that's for all genders. I'm embarrassed by my past handmaiden behavior trying to please them. Like you're a girl, idk what you want from me and I don't care. And if you're not a girl then gtfo. Who goes into a women's space and expects everyone to include them and cater to them. Fucking narcs.

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 07:00:47 AM No. 283484

>>283450
Anyone hanging out with anyone who shows interest is sus behavior. At the very least they're insecure, at most they're either already cheating or keeping "options" around

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 07:32:27 AM No. 283486

>>283314
This has been debunked in like every /lg/ thread here to the point I feel like it's bait. Just backtrack a bit to find them but tl;dr inefficient sample size, outdated research from decades ago with a clear anti-gay agenda, includes violence committed by previous male partners (like >>283396 said), dismisses factors like minority stress.

>>283409
>How did this even get published or whatever.
Like said, a lot of bogus anti-gay research with an agenda came out at one point.

>>283443
I'm assuming a lot of the "bi" women in the study are women who were so traumatized by their abusive male partner that they polilezzed out to be in a relationship but with someone who can't physically overpower them.

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 01:28:12 PM No. 283510

>>283457
Do you live In a city? In the west?? I had to deal with the same shit living in seattle I just moved a little south
I’m so sorry it’s really frustrating to have that be the only kind of lesbian support and it’s just a bunch of weirdos trying to claim lesbian
I wish there were more gender critical/radfem lesbian spaces out in the open but it’s hard

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 05:18:02 PM No. 283527

>>283510
DA, I'm not a radfem but I am somewhat gender critical/anti-libfem and trying to navigate LGB"T" spaces with those opinions gets difficult. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with everyone. It kinda sucks how it's assumed that if you're not "woke" then you're either a Log Cabin Republican or a hardcore second-wave feminist. I wish groups that were "apolitical" but still define woman as a female and gay as same-sex as the main rules were easier to find.

Anonymous 08/25/22 (Thu) 07:47:31 PM No. 283551

>>283527
ntayrt but yeah I talk to my sister about that sometimes. How political our sexuality is. And how I know all these terms and what's going on in the community when she doesn't understand or get any of it. I don't want to understand or get any of it but it's like osmosis jones just being homosexual.

Anonymous 08/26/22 (Fri) 03:30:03 AM No. 283611

>>283551
AYRT, that's relatable. I'm an apolitical person at my core (doesn't mean I don't have my opinions but I never fit either side), and I feel like that combined with being a lesbian makes it more alien. I sometimes think if I was born bi or even a gay guy, finding space where I don't have to self-censor my sexuality or beliefs wouldn't be as big of a deal.

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 09:29:17 AM No. 284020

File: 1661678957468.jpg (744.25 KB, 2048x1536, DM6F32-W0AABL_u.jpg)

since she was unfairly insulted in the mtf thread, kaoru mori is one artist that makes me go all ooga booga spongebob caveman, the way she draws women is just to pretty and sensual and she has to be a lesbian, has to.

post your favorite woman art

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 09:32:04 AM No. 284021

File: 1661679124777.jpg (323.32 KB, 1519x675, erwerwet.jpg)

>>284020
>>284020

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 01:11:12 PM No. 284033

I know this is likely a problematic opinion but even if aspects of gay male culture are toxic, I really envy how getting hookups with actual men of the same sex is feasible for a lot of them. TIFs exist on Grindr but at least a man can push off a woman that tries to take advantage of him. I'm not interested in relationships but trying to find an actual woman nearby and not a porn addicted TIM that just wants to do things NSA is a borderline cryptid. At this point I'm consdering risking hitting up some polyamorous bi woman for something as long as her boyfriend is completely left out of it.

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 02:50:02 PM No. 284048

This isn’t b8 m8

Is lesbianism a phase?
Whilst being in the closet I heard it thrown around that most girls grow out of it/settle with men in the end- that everyone knows a lesbian who settled down. But I have been the same for…a long time. Always enthralled by the female form, I often saw myself as the prince because princes could marry the princess- I even wore a waistcoat to school once, and asked a girl to marry me (cringeee). And still, at 18, I’m the same. I don’t want to touch men, I don’t feel, like another anon said, ‘OOGABOOGA’ for their bodies, their faces, nothing. Are there some grains of truth in the stereotype? Do some change in the end?>>284020
Dang nonnie that’s hot. Does she write gl?

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 02:56:42 PM No. 284051

>>284048
idk anon do you like skater skirts and striped thigh high socks

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 03:50:15 PM No. 284062

>>284051
nta but the fuck kind of question is this? what does that have to do with anything?

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 03:57:42 PM No. 284063

>>284051
Kek.

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 04:22:08 PM No. 284068

>>284062
She's calling anon a tranny, anon. It's common for troons to wear spinny uwu skirts and striped thigh high socks

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 04:49:26 PM No. 284079

why must we discuss trannies at all times… there are threads for this. i am tired of gender discourse.

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 04:53:32 PM No. 284081

went to lunch with my coworker on saturday. she dresses really punk outside of work it's hot. she has acrylics but she also played division i rugby in college. i dont know what to think.

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 05:02:58 PM No. 284085

>>284051
Anon that’s a pretty funny way to call me a transformer but I’m a true and honest woman. Drop your yahoo mail and we can send each other proof lemme see that jpeg lolcussy
>>284081
Oh yeahh nonnie she sounds perfect and you should definitely go for it

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 05:15:42 PM No. 284090

>>284081
Acrylics and punk sounds like a zoomer. That would be hot if it wasn't what normal people wear today since it's in fashion.

I've never met a lesbian in real life that wears fake nails. Any nonnies met a lesbian with fake nails that wasn't a pillow princess?

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 05:19:55 PM No. 284092

>>284090
maybe she's not dating anyone so she's growing them out? im coping majorly lmao..

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 05:28:04 PM No. 284095

>>284092
good luck nonnie and I'm sorry lol. I'm the same way with artsy and sporty chicks.

Anonymous 08/28/22 (Sun) 10:55:56 PM No. 284142

>>284048
Non-troll response from someone who wondered the same at age 18: Those women are bisexual and their preferences changed. Most bi girls I knew flip flopped like that, and they just labeled those phases as "being gay/straight". There isn't any truth to lesbianism specifically being a phase, people are just both homophobic and uncritical of identities and think self-declaration is law. Sexuality is only fluid for bisexuals.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 12:16:36 AM No. 284151

File: 1661732195907.jpg (330.88 KB, 471x600, 20220403_113242.jpg)

>>280979
I came to see her already went to her house and nothing happened. I couldn't get a word in and she basically told me after she closed the door through text that she cannot talk to me because she has work and game night with her friends. she emphasised that she needs more time and she doesn't know if she wants to break up with me or not.
I sent her my hotel and everything and I don't think that she will come see me at all for any conversation. She is cold but for some reason she told me that I looked nice??
I'm now crying in my hotel room waiting until I go home tomorrow. I do not regret coming though because I learned what type of person she is. I hope I can stop loving her because in my head I pictures her to be my soulmate and I am really gullible and naive ( I realized) especially because it's my first love and all. I feel awful but at the same time I'm happy I came here to make it real and to get some closure. Hopefully whenever I feel sad or love for her I'll remember how she made me feel and what I gave to her when I recieved nothing back.
I really put myself out there and face her with flowers and gifts. I feel dumb but at the same time I feel proud that I was really brave when she just hid herself.
I do feel dumb though for still having hope for tonight looking out the window.

I really hope one day I can find a woman who loves me and we can get married because I just want to love a lady and be loved in return.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 03:23:50 AM No. 284179

>>284151
break up with her before she does

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 04:45:52 AM No. 284194

>>284151
You deserve that love, and she doesn’t deserve you. If she’s “thinking” about breaking up she’s been thinking about it for a long time. Definitely cut the cord.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 08:24:36 AM No. 284220

>>284179
>>284194
I waited the entire night and she didn't come see me. I feel numb now because I cried so much yesterday. I think this lesson in love was very painful and I am scared of trusting people now. I know I'll feel better later but I think I will never ever forget how she made me feel so hurt and used.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 09:11:51 AM No. 284227

>>284151
>>284220
>I came to see her
>I couldn't get a word in and she basically told me after she closed the door through text that she cannot talk to me because she has work and game night with her friends
Wow, what a bitch. Wouldn't be surprised she is in a romantic relationship and just treated you as a distraction. You really don't need her and she doesn't deserve any tender feelings, considering how gross and infantile she was towards you.
> I am scared of trusting people now
But I understand you, though in my case it was a friendship. No matter how shitty they were, you still take it personally
before you leave take a shit on her front porch lol

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 12:04:44 PM No. 284243

>>284151
I agree with other anons, you need to move on and not let someone treat you that way. But also I don't think it was normal at all to confront her IRL when you two had never met yet before. That is quite unhinged behavior. She's clearly been trying to break up with you, you should not have showed up at her door at all. Still wish you the best, heartbreak will take time to heal but you're better off with someone else.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 02:33:43 PM No. 284279

>>284227
Yeah, she told me there isn't anyone else but I don't truly believe her. Something shook her from me, and even though it is ultimately her decision I can't help but think that her new friends influenced her decision. She has always had trouble talking about her emotions and feelings. She retreats and goes away when she is scared /stressed. I thought it was just those times where she needed a gentle push. When I was in her doorway I did not even get a chance to Greet her. I had flowers and doughnuts in hand. I also was not pushy. All I wanted was to spend time with her.

>>284243
Thank you for your best wishes. This is my first relationship and it was very long, also I have hard a rough months with so many things happening to me as well as close deaths. I think that made me spiral into a place that I thought the only thing to regain control was doing something like this. I also believed she loved me whole heartedly because she even said things to me like she was working hard for us and our future. We had plans to live together, so I thought I had to help her. I'll be smarter in the future though and I'll reflect on my actions. I will never do something like this again for someone because I have been burned very badly.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 06:25:32 PM No. 284322

File: 1661797532657.png (5.67 KB, 253x243, 1597816479079.png)

During a conversation at lunch today this bi girl I was talking to just nonchalantly called herself a dyke while simultaneously talking about dating moids. Even funnier, gushing over the guys she's currently dating and how he's soo good because he "can actually express his emotions" and because he's "queer". Couldn't help but laugh to myself after that. What's your opinion on non-lesbians calling themselves dykes and other typically lesbian words? Personally, hearing it in that context was the closest I've ever come to being offended by that word lol

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 08:36:50 PM No. 284356

>>284322
Since I don't really believe in policing language, I don't care if non-lesbians call themselves dyke, butch/femme, etc., as long as they use the term correctly, and are dating or looking to date women. (I definitely prefer it to ""queer"" which I seriously hope will just die out.) It's just too embarrassing when they're still involved with men. You're stronger than me anon, I would've laughed in your coworkers face.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 08:42:21 PM No. 284361

i honestly prefer the company of het women over bi women at this point lmao

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 08:44:59 PM No. 284362

>>284279
she was never invested in the first place, and you need to realize that. tell her to fuck off and block.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 08:49:14 PM No. 284363

>>284220
anon im sorry to tell you this but you are retarded… why would you expect anything else from an exclusively online, one-sided "relationship". it was never real to begin with.

i would suggest that you get off the internet and join a rugby league or a hiking group

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 08:56:18 PM No. 284364

>>284361
It's slowly becoming the same for me as well. And I'm so tired of having to pretend to care about their Nigels and all the shit they have to put up with for dating moids, because I think they forget that I can not and never will relate.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 10:10:38 PM No. 284377

>>284361
With het women at least you don't have to validate their flimsy queerness. That being said I only make friends with lesbians nowadays.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 10:20:47 PM No. 284380

>>284377
Fuck where do you even find lesbian communities? Everyone in my city and age range (20) are either kweerio bihet handmaidens or genderspecials. I hate it here

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 10:24:25 PM No. 284382

>>284361
Same. At least they understand being attracted to only one sex and don't try to hit you with that "sexual fluidity" shit. Ironically enough I've found that (in my experience at least) het women are way less likely to talk about their Nigels, and when they do they can acknowledge his flaws and are aware he's not the best man on the planet. Bi women just love telling you about their cutesy wutesy golden retriever bf who is so in touch with his feelings because this one time he admitted to being sad and he's so fruity and queer for loving a woman with a pixie cut and she/they in her Twitter bio.

Anonymous 08/29/22 (Mon) 10:36:58 PM No. 284385

>>284382
>At least they understand being attracted to only one sex and don't try to hit you with that "sexual fluidity" shit
You hit the nail right on the head anon. Had a bi girl say to my face that everyone is "at least a little bi" right after I told her I was gay. Also the gushing about golden retriever boyfriends rings true for every bi woman I've met. Is it coping for being stuck in a relationship with a moid or what?

Anonymous 08/30/22 (Tue) 03:12:24 AM No. 284404

blogpost but today I had some errands to run and saw a couple women that pinged my radar and it was just like sigh, I love being a lesbian. The world is my oyster and I can't wait to find the one someday.

Anonymous 08/30/22 (Tue) 11:58:59 AM No. 284446

>>284404
I love this energy, I feel the same way!

Anonymous 08/30/22 (Tue) 01:22:44 PM No. 284448

>>284356
I half-agree. The bar is so low that I see as similar to bisexuals casually using the word gay. Like if you say "gay" in the context of your same-sex attraction, but don't label your sexuality that way overall, no big deal. But saying "I'm so gay" while having a boyfriend is so insulting, same with how some bi women call themselves dykes while dating men, because I've been sexually harassed and called that because I DON'T.

If a bi woman was a Febfem or at least in a long-term relationship with a woman and has been called a dyke (since bigots don't care if the slur they say is "accurate", I've been called the f word before), I'd have less qualms with them using the word (same with labels like butch/femme, "bi femme with a boyfriend" makes no sense), but on the other hand all the Febfems I've talked to told me "dyke" isn't theirs to reclaim even if they were called it.

>>284361
>>284382
Same. The ones I know IRL are mostly tolerant of LGB people, but it's not their business, so they don't have any opinions besides homophobia being cruel. Meanwhile, bi women who primarily date men and still involve themselves in "the community" won't shut up over their hot takes and how their straight boyfriend doesn't make their relationship less "queer"

Anonymous 08/30/22 (Tue) 09:29:15 PM No. 284512

Can't stand life anymore. I've grown into such a bitter woman within the past three years and I am only 22. Every girl I have ever liked rejected me, every job in my field I have ever wanted rejected me, every school I ever wanted to attend rejected me. Swim team, diving team, rugby team. Everything. It's as if the cosmos are begging me to rope and I won't take the hint.

I feel like I shouldn't exist. Like I should have been left in a wild place to die of exposure as an infant or something. Is all of this misery really worth the occasional moments of joy in my life?

Anonymous 08/30/22 (Tue) 10:08:46 PM No. 284520

File: 1661897326104.jpg (48.18 KB, 896x896, FU3p6PDXsAAmfsD.jpg)

Manifesting this girl falling in love with me and asking me out. We have a bunch of things in common and I'm trying not to be too hopeful about her since I don't want to jump the gun, but I'm optimistic. It's been a few years since I've been in a relationship, and I think I'm ready for one now.

Anonymous 08/30/22 (Tue) 10:57:00 PM No. 284530

What's a subtle-but-not-so-subtle way of asking a woman if she's into women? I see cute girls all the time that are my type but I never have the courage to ask if she's lesbian/bi, let alone tell her I am. I make the assumption that 90% of the women I see are straight, even more probably already taken. It's like I don't even have the energy to put into crushes if I'm just going to be disappointed…

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 12:05:13 AM No. 284541

>>284448
I think it would be useful if there was some easy way to differentiate between same sex leaning bi women and opposite sex leaning bi women. Of course there's women who are febfems but I've already seen woketards associating that with being a terf and having stupid bios like "femfems DNI". Maybe I'm the minority here but I do really wish there could be more genuine LB solidarity for those with a same sex lean. I think we need it now more than ever.

>>284520
Why don't you ask her out?

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 01:01:48 AM No. 284550

>>284541
I do too. There's the kinsey scale, I guess, but it would be kind of awkward to use a number for your sexuality, and a lot of opposite sex-leaning bisexuals tend to be defensive about that. Febfem as a label is associated with being a radfem, which might put off SSA-leaning women with different opinions. I wish organizations like the LGB Alliance weren't cringey since I'd love something like that.

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 04:28:29 AM No. 284575

>>284541
i wish i could say ive met bisexuals with a same sex lean. they always tell me they do but their boyfriend to girlfriend ratio is like 8:1

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 05:08:43 AM No. 284578

Is there such a thing as lesbians not attracted to short hair, on themselves or their partners?

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 05:56:21 AM No. 284582

>>284575
I knew a bi girl who only had serious relationships with women and hooked up with both genders. I don't know if that counts as a same sex lean, but at least with a girl like that you know she won't leave you for a man?

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 08:41:13 AM No. 284596

>>284512
First off, you need to get off of online places like lolcow, farms and chans because that shit is toxic af and everyone is bitter and retarded, so all you do is soak up more negative energy. Also, if it is hard for you function, think about going to medical specialist.
Second, I think this is you being hit with the realities with real adult world -
>every job in my field I have ever wanted rejected me
That is how it is for everyone, unless you are a nepotism hire. You may have been the smart kid in school (like me), which lead you to believe that getting special treatment and offered opportunities will be just as easy post-school, but the school lied to you. Getting an internship was hell, I was rejected from everywhere and had to take up a job that literally hires anyone that breathes. My class friends, who had even better grades, ended up in jobs where all they did is get exploited and paid minimum wage for a year. Unfortunately, that is how adult life works. You are young, and the path to the first normal job is a shitty one. It is a numbers game.
>every school I ever wanted to attend rejected me
Similar to above. I have known extremely smart kids getting rejected from top schools. You don't know what is in the admission council's heads and, frankly, you don't know the criteria they adhere to. Maybe they were looking for completely different people, maybe those kids were better at presenting themselves etc etc.
>It's as if the cosmos are begging me to rope and I won't take the hint
The world might be chewing me up and shitting me out, but I'm built like a piece of corn.

I know what it is like to be depresssed, I lost my teens to severe depression and sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is pure spite.
I feel like you were one of the smart or talented kids in school, which is why it is so hard to adjust to the realities now, where no one gives a shit about how bright you are - you are just a drop in the ocean, and you have to wade through tons of shit just like everyone else. I know what it is like to feel like life is not worth living, like everything I go through is not worth for a tiny bit of joy somewhere in the future, but the reality is that maybe I am the one with unrealistic expectations. Maybe life isn't this amazing adventure packed with unforgettable moments at every turn. Maybe life is not going to be like in the movies or books. But you can still find joy, you can learn to find joy in prosaic small things.
My advice - try out new things and do them for a while, you never know what will bring you joy. Find solo activities, so you don't have to deal with rejection or judgement. Think about personal goals you want to achieve (and can achieve solely on your own like habits or fitness) and work towards them! Seriously, start with 5 minutes every day and keep the streak as long as possible. Then do more. You think it is stupid, I thought it was stupid too, but after doing it for a while, you will start to see that you yourself can build the life you want, that if you want something, you can go towards it, you can grow into a person you want to be. You become your own RPG character lol. I KNOW, rn you will roll your eyes and think this is some bs "clean your room" advice, but honestly? It works.
I hope some of this long fucking post helped you.

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 10:09:22 AM No. 284602

i was living with my girlfriend for a while and now i’m temporarily living with my parents again. (will be with my girlfriend again in about two months if everything goes to plan. ldrs are hard) anyway it’s so depressing being at home again. my parents don’t exactly support our relationship or her and it’s weird how when i came home they didn’t ask after and they get quiet when i bring her up. it’s just so shitty and i miss her so much

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 01:48:35 PM No. 284621

>>284578
You have to be kidding. Most representation of lesbians in media is long haired, gender conforming women covered in makeup dating other long haired, gender conforming women covered in makeup. The fact you have to ask this, as if us nasty butch dykes are gonna tell you off for being normal and having preferences makes me think this is bait, but here's your good faith answer: Yes, women - even lesbians! - can have preferences for different things.

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 02:44:07 PM No. 284638

>>284596
thank you this did help

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 06:27:07 PM No. 284662

>>284578
i mean…yes? all kinds of lesbians exist. this is such a weird question, i can't tell if it's just a troll/outsider asking stupid questions or a nonny describing herself to seek validation for an arguably harmless preference

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 09:24:00 PM No. 284685

>>284621
But is that representation actually representative, or is it male gaze?

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 10:09:26 PM No. 284689

>>284685
Good point, it's absolutely male gaze but I'm ESL and didn't know how else to phrase that. What I mean is that from a societal standpoint, it's more encouraged to be gender conforming and also attracted to gender conforming women. It's like how masc gay guys who pass as straight are more tolerated in society. It's usually lesbians asking if it's ok to like butches because they got psyop'd into thinking it's toxic masculinity and emulating heterosexuality if they're femme. It just seemed utterly absurd to me that someone was asking such a thing, but maybe she's just young and confused. I probably said some silly things when I was a baby gay too.

Anonymous 08/31/22 (Wed) 10:32:13 PM No. 284690

>>284689
I am her. I am just wondering if this preference is rare or looked down upon by the lesbian community. I was afraid it might be seen as shallow or like you said, brainwashing by society of what women are supposed to look like, or even indicative if women who aren’t real lesbians parroting male gaze? But you and the other anon say that it’s silly to worry about, so that’s reassuring.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 01:00:11 AM No. 284703

New lesbian hang out group was going well, all cis lesbians. A couple she/they but I don’t get too hung up on that bc they don’t care about she/her pronouns and they’re still women …tell me why this bitch asked me to refer to her as kitty. Not as a nickname, as a pronoun. I would have to say “Kitty didn’t like the drink for kittyself, but it was okay for everyone else.”

I fucking hate California gay scenes.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 01:03:18 AM No. 284704

>>284690
I have preferences that might be seen as shallow, but the average lesbian doesn't care as long as you aren't insulting women you're not attracted to or women with different preferences. Not all lesbians are hardcore fun-hating feminists, either, while a lot of actual spaces online tend to be conflated with being a radfem, I'm personally not one.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 01:44:59 AM No. 284707

too little lesbians are fun-hating feminists. There needs to be more!

That's one thing I'm so glad I grew out of when I was a baby gay. All the stupid labels/ having types/ dressing a specific way to be seen a specific way and pronouncing to the world that you're femme or a lipstick lesbian like you want an award for it or something. I'm actually ok with butches telling the world because they do have a very different life and idk might sound corny but deserve to be respected. And it's so cringe to see an older women say they only top or bottom everyone should be pleasured lol. Fuck the no labels don't believe in boxes rhetoric straights and bi's say but I think it's a little damaging having it in our communities and the baby gays constantly asking if what they are doing is ok or not or if they look gay enough or not.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 01:49:24 AM No. 284708

>>284703
Be careful I saw a post floating around online that one woman got kicked out a a woman's group because she didn't use a woman's neo pronouns. It was like a foreshadowing to you and you're lesbian group, you're welcome for being warned.

It's nice you have a group though. I live in California boonies and all their is is Juggalo looking bi's that call themself lesbians and older partnered women they don't want any lesbian friends because of possible drama. I don't want to date you I just want to be friends.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 04:31:44 AM No. 284718

>>284707
I'm just sick of politics, honestly, and obviously libfems are worse and I agree with radfems on more things, but even radfem lesbian spaces are full of weird micro-managing and policing of preferences and harmless sex lives. I do think babygays get too hung up on labels and wanting to be validated though, it's like the sexuality version of trans. Announcing you're femme4femme or chapstick only makes sense in dating spaces. Sex positions are a different story though, people make that into a label and that's annoying, but even if I don't announce how I do things, I still have a lot of boundaries and preferences for what I like due to bad experiences.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 06:19:21 AM No. 284727

>>284690
Majority of lesbians in the west are femme4femme, so it sounds pretty silly. Butches are rare, nvm anyone into that, due to by other nonnie aforementioned representation issues and societal pressure to be gender conforming and only date other genderconforming people. 99% of people think you're normal and maybe 1% just thinks you're asking silly questions. You're not shallow for your preferences, just weird for not noticing how you're literally the norm.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 10:11:29 AM No. 284744

Does anyone else have a hard time clocking troons? I think I'm mildly faceblind or something because I'm bad with faces and recognizing people in general. Dating apps freak me out because I'm scared I'll accidentally meet up with one. I'm better at clocking them IRL because it's easier to see their body shape but static faces are impossible for me.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 11:44:08 AM No. 284751

>>284690
AYRT, there's nothing wrong with not liking short hair on you or other women. Like >>284727 said you're the norm. Don't worry about it, anon. It doesn't sound like you're prejudiced against butches or women who have short hair. You just have your preferences when it comes to attraction like we all do. I'm a butch with short hair and I don't look down on you or any other lesbian who isn't into me. We're not troons, we acknowledge that most people have a "type" and it doesn't offend us if that type doesn't include us.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 04:11:43 PM No. 284768

I'm going to an actual lesbian mixer via invite from my kickball team. I'm excited because it doesn't label itself as "queer" or "lgbt-whatever". There's also little to no info on it online. I have some hope that it won't attract a bunch of tims, genderspecials, whoever. Honesty joining a woman's sports team was an amazing decision. I finally found lesbians :')

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 05:29:08 PM No. 284775

>>284703
Ugh please be there when I go back, I just wanna hang with regular lesbians.

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 05:31:55 PM No. 284776

File: 1662053515197.jpeg (99.92 KB, 805x960, 131AF206-5E81-4414-861D-EFEAE7…)

>>284768
So happy for you!

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 05:36:40 PM No. 284778

>>284768
That actually sounds very hopeful! I met a bunch of other lesbians via football (s*ccer if you're American I guess), boxing and MMA. Sports are by far one of the best ways to meet other lesbians, sometimes the stereotypes are correct, lol. The kind of groups/events that are spread via word of mouth, don't mention the dreaded Q word and have no presence online are always the best ones. Hope you have a good time, nonna!

Anonymous 09/01/22 (Thu) 08:15:29 PM No. 284811

File: 1662063329157.jpg (40.84 KB, 540x396, 4568359.jpg)

The local queer community is so goddamn small. tfw no tomboy gf

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 07:52:39 AM No. 284886

Any weebs watch this anime? This is one of my favorites for the sole reason that the main protag was a gnc lesbian. Forget how her lover was an alien clone of her.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 11:48:03 AM No. 284904

Holy shit, radblr based "lesbian only" discords are all cancer aren't they?

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 12:10:03 PM No. 284905

>>284904
I don’t know much about them, but I’ve read about drama based around “male-attracted only” radblr discords, that allegedly only shit on lesbians and talk about how predatory and disgusting we are. Knowing how straight rads are, I am inclined to believe

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 12:13:00 PM No. 284906

>>284904
Ohhhh yes. I have many a horror story from the few months I spent in them and heard a lot of horror stories from other people about them. One of my favourites is menalez, famed for her "I swear my DD/lg phase was just comphet!!!" schtick having a MTF in her server for literal months and not realising. Top fucking kek. Honestly, radblr is cancer anyway. It's just as cliquey as troon circles and I got sick of the Mean Girls shit. As a butch I was either treated like a piece of meat at best or a moidlike creature at worst. Also like >>284905 said the straight radfems are awful.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 12:36:35 PM No. 284908

>>284906
Ah shit, I am on her server right now. Will leave in a couple weeks, just to be stealthy. Thank fuck I did not post anything relating to my life on there wtf! She asks for selfie verification and still didn't clock a tranny? I did get bi in denial vibes from a huge amount of the women on there though while lurking so I guess I should have seen it coming. Some people were saying talking about bisexuals was sort of banned, I guess the admin is the reason.

There are a ton of butch larpers on these kinds of servers it seems as well.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 12:41:23 PM No. 284909

>>284905
I'm disinclined to believe shit talking like that. Remember that anonymous radblr confession blog that was run by an autist who couldn't tell when she was obviously being trolled and spread a ton of inflammatory gossip?

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 01:08:27 PM No. 284912

>>284908
>I did get bi in denial vibes from a huge amount of the women
If you gan around radblr for a long enough time, you will see bunch of "hardcore lesbians" come out with such wonderful takes as
> born this way is not real and female sexuality is influenced by patriarchy
and eventually many of them come out as bisexual. You get those vibes because they are bis ashamed of their sexuality. Actual lesbians are an absolute minority; a lot of them don't even hang out on radfem side anymore because of all the homophobic bs. i am personally way better off after I stopped reading their takes and am less ashamed of my sexuality.
>>284909
To be fair, for a terminally online bunch, radfems take troll bait like some facebook mom. I remember when the entire community was in flames over that iamxuenyang (?) girl lol. But personally I believe that, because I've seen some appalling shit come from hets on tumblr (unforch no screenshots), so I don't doubt that in private chats they go full retard.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 01:08:29 PM No. 284913

>>284906
Menalez is annoying and a bad friend, I recently cut her off and I'm glad I did. Would not surprise me if she's posting stuff about herself here as she's obsessed with drama and very typically bpd.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 01:21:51 PM No. 284914

>>284908
AYRT, yeah the selfie verification is just the icing on the cake of the MTF story, kek. Her whole circle radiate bi in denial vibes, it's like a weird polilez cult formed around her, and like >>284912 said you hear a lot of dogshit takes from these types.

>>284913
Not at all surprising. I badmouthed her in a server once and some tryhard who was desperate to be her friend told her and then she liked a very old post on my blog and then unliked it, I assume it was a slip of the hand while she was trying to find dirt on me, kek. She's so terminally online but isn't she meant to be a student with a gf? How the fuck does she find the time? She's like the ghost of radblr, an omnipresent force that's always there and telling you you're a bad feminist. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if she self-posts here too, but I don't care if she reads this as I've cut ties with everyone from radblr. I'm too damn old for internet drama and actually have a life offline.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 02:17:21 PM No. 284918

>>284913
Oddly enough I've not run into anyone on the discords who will admit to being a farmer. I've had a feeling about a bunch of them but they'll never own up for some reason. This place isn't even controversial considering radblr says the exact same shit we do here about troons, not sure why they pretend they're not farmers.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 02:38:19 PM No. 284922

>>284914
As unhinged & annoying she is, the anons sending her tips about x user being racist/nazi/liking edgy memes/etc so she can sic her hounds on some 100 follower noname & add the username to that lame blocklist are even more pathetic. It is like KGB, except they get nothing out of it

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 03:50:46 PM No. 284927

>>284918
This site was founded to take the piss out of (mostly) women. Of course they'll never admit to being farmers. Idk how radblr is now but when I was there it was all about being a "nicefem" and anyone who snapped at the constant threats of rape and violence was just as bad as those who threaten that. I couldn't handle it and I often ruffled the feathers of my mutuals for being a big meanie. Fucking girl scouts.

>>284922
Yeah she has a really rabid army of snitches. It's fucked up to think how many of them there are lurking in the shadows and waiting for you to reblog a wojak or say ~ the t slur ~ kek. It amuses me to no end that she and a lot of other radfems are against saying tranny. With what troons say about us, saying tranny or troon is polite by comparison.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 04:06:06 PM No. 284929

>>284927
Okay, so that is what the t-slur rule is about. For some reason they don't let you say tranny on most of these discords and I could not figure out why… Some let you say troon or tran but not tranny. It boggles the mind.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 05:22:20 PM No. 284941

>>284912
>radfems take troll bait like some facebook mom
This is why I only lasted about two weeks on radblr lol. It's exhausting. The 'nazis' like apostle-of-sappho or whoever else it is now would disappear overnight if everyone ignored them. But no instead lets write daily callout posts and doxx anyone who accidentally reblogs from a Forbidden User. Half the nazis on radblr are probably Menalez and other deranged BPDs on sockpuppets.

It's a shame because I liked some parts of Radblr. I just wish it were possible to have sane internet communities again. Everything is eventually invaded and dominated by the internet moral police. Sometimes I'm tempted to apply for a lesbian discord but jesus fuck everyone who runs them is insane and I'm not trusting them with whatever personal details they need to verify I'm female.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 05:39:02 PM No. 284946

>>284768
>>284778

that great ! I wonder if there is also lesbians sport supporter group ( I love sport but I'm build bad )

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 05:39:34 PM No. 284947

Thank you all anons ITT for inadvertently talking me out of joining radblr, holy shit. I guess tumblr wouldn't be tumblr without insane cults of personality and overblown callout posts over nothing, regardless of what side you're on.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 05:55:25 PM No. 284952

>>284947
DA when radfems say their community is the only safe space for lesbians, it's a lie. It's full of polilez and a different kind of lesbophobia than the conservative or TRA kind, it's tiring. I hate how being a real lesbian that doesn't believe in trans/libfem nonsense is conflated with being a radfem because second wave feminism is a very specific worldview. And I think most women on radblr or Discord know that, before I deleted my radblr there was constant arguing among if it was feminist to wear makeup sometimes or use strap-ons or still believe in religion to cope, it was clear most women on there only agreed that TIMs aren't women, lesbians don't like dick, and porn addiction is harmful, but weren't radfems otherwise, but it was the only place that would accept those views.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 07:57:24 PM No. 284967

>>284947
KEK. You're welcome, anon. I'm glad you didn't join! It's not worth it, trust me. You're absolutely right about how it's still tumblr. As much as radblr acts like the cool, underground part of tumblr, it still follows the same patterns of cliques, big name bloggers who get their asses kissed for stating that water's wet, drama, backstabbing and callout posts. If I ever do rejoin tumblr it would be purely for my hobbies, absolutely zero politics allowed and a blacklist that's a mile long to make sure it stays that way.

>>284952
NTA but you're completely right. As a butch lesbian who was at the time trying to manage dysphoria and internalised homophobia, I felt actively worse on radblr. Not only am I a nasty dyke who oppresses any woman with a Nigel by simply breathing, but I'm also a toxic masculine predator. Ironically there's quite a few FTMs on the fringes of radblr and big users like menahet- sorry, menalez treat them like pets to show everyone how nice and accepting they are… even though said troons are absolute fucking demons and no better than the libfem kind. Thing is I was only ever rad leaning, but there's not many spaces for women like us online. Or offline for that matter. As awful as this place can be with the psychotic moids spamming CP and gore, the kiwifags, the infighting, etc, at least I can speak my mind here. You do get the odd user try to police you for something like using the word "bitch" or the ones who expect newly peaked women to drop the queer lingo in a day and immediately adjust, but hey, I can just call them a retard and tell them to fuck off. If I did that on radblr I'd be listed as an ableist on the naughty list, kek.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 08:43:25 PM No. 284977

>>284967
>Thing is I was only ever rad leaning, but there's not many spaces for women like us online. … at least I can speak my mind here
I relate, although it honestly sucks because I don't agree with either side, but only having an anonymous place to talk about either my beliefs, my sexuality, or my hobbies is kinda crazy-making cuz it feels like I'm living a double or triple life. The LGB spaces I'm in don't know about my beliefs or that I'm 100% vagina-only, the political spaces where I'm open about my beliefs don't know about my hobbies or contrary opinions, I've completely given up on being into fandoms like I was in highschool before the gender madness for obvious reasons, and I keep my opinions to myself on social media where I post my artwork/stories, there isn't really a space I can fully be myself and open. I honestly don't care if someone disagrees with my opinions, as long as I can just be who I am without getting witch hunted for thought crimes (I lost friends on both sides), as long as we can just tolerate each other, but it's like the libfems/queers get mad at me over one thing and the radical feminists/leftists are equally mad over another.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 08:56:20 PM No. 284981

I just heard the term “comphet” for the first time, but I can’t find a solid definition for it.

Some places say it’s when a lesbian says they like men bc that’s what they’re taught to say when they think a man is okay looking. Other places say it’s when a lesbian would never fuck a man irl, but still simps for anime men.

I keep getting mixed answers from irl lesbians cause I live in a very leftist area. Does anyone here know what it means?

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 09:06:16 PM No. 284986

>>284981
Comphet is a bullshit idea perpetuated by bisexuals who hate being bi. It does not exist.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 09:08:06 PM No. 284987

>>284981
The original essay about compulsory heterosexuality was about how there's a social pressure for all women to prioritize men in their life, regardless of sexuality. It's been a long time since I read it, but I thought it made sense, even if it was written by a political lesbian (a stopped clock is right twice a day). A lot of the straight and bi women in my life, no matter how headstrong and independent, would throw that away just for a guy, and a lot of lesbians I knew, including me, automatically assumed we were straight despite not being attracted to men, since it's expected in society for women to be accessories to men.

However, the social media meaning of "comphet" is the opposite. I notice a lot of women who say they're "lesbians with comphet" and simp for anime boys instead or whatever are bisexuals who are ashamed of liking men, so they blame that on society and not their trauma. The concept of a "comphet crush" where you're a lesbian but "society" is putting a gun to your head and making you starry eyed over a male celebrity makes no sense. A lot of lesbians I know talk about how forcing themselves to like guys felt fake, but they lied to fit in (I did this too, I once pretended to agree when one of my straight friends showed me a picture of her boyfriend, and could tell I was lying through my teeth lmao), but meanwhile when I see these girls say they're lesbians but squee over kpop boys, it seems like they're just trying to fit in because being bisexual isn't "cool" anymore.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 09:29:33 PM No. 284990

>>284987

That makes sense. I definitely felt the first definition before, where I felt forced to “like men” because it was what I was taught all my life. I was raised to be a housewife to a man one day, so men are obviously what I was “told” to be attracted to. I didn’t even find out that lesbians existed until I was in my teens, so I’ve been coerced into relationships by men before I knew. I’ve definitely said that I’m attracted to fictional men, mostly because I like the character, and growing up, I was taught that “liking” a man in any way means that I’m attracted to him. In reality, I just think they’re a decent character with zero sexual attraction at all. That’s the comphet that I think I had in my younger years.

>If this is leftist brain washing I’m spewing, pls let me know, bc that’s the space I live in and the information I was taught.

But the second one definitely sounds like glorified bisexuality. Using the “gun to head” analogy was a really good choice of words on your part, because you explained it in a very visible way. Some women in certain places DO have the gun against their head, telling them that if they don’t like men, they will die. But for internal monologue, society isn’t holding a gun to someone’s head to make them go heart eyes over a man. That makes no sense.

Thanks for taking the time to explain!

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 09:34:59 PM No. 284991

>>284977
AYRT, I understand. Like I said I do speak my mind here but I know with some things it's just not worth it. Like religion; I grew up in a strict religious environment, hated it, but found myself needing a religion to cope. I converted to another one and consider myself semi-religious now, but I don't discuss it here much anymore for obvious reasons. Same with a few of my political opinions, some might seem contrarian and honestly, they probably are. Yeah it's anonymous but I don't wanna argue about it. It took me so long to unpack the social pressure from both sides and find my true beliefs, and at the grand old age of 31 I'm too fuckin' old for this shit! So yeah, this is nice void to shout into. It's just wise to not go shouting about everything that crosses your mind lol. Fandom shit kills me though because I'm an autist and would love to have somewhere to sperg about my fixations without seeing any political shit. Oldfag moment but back in my day a fandom account was for fandom ONLY. God I hate how that sounds so obvious but it's so different now. Thankfully I have a wonderful wife who shares some of my interests and the rest of the time I just type up my silly little observations and theories on WordPad and keep them for myself. I also started writing game guides in notebooks and illustrating them for when my little sisters are old enough to play, and hopefully one day my kids. I really want to encourage offline stuff for them so they don't get caught up in the same shit I did.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 10:07:23 PM No. 284995

>>284991
God, that sounds amazing. I feel like if I had one close friend or partner that I could see eye-to-eye with or at least agree-to-disagree, I'd feel a lot less alone. I don't keep any of my opinions a tight secret, if anyone asked me about it, I'd just tell them, but I'd had people on both sides get angry with me for not 100% agreeing with them and drop me when we were otherwise cool, it makes me paranoid of everyone. I walk on eggshells with most of the people I talk to in any space I'm in, and it's frustrating.

I'm trying to get back into fandom too since I'm an autist, and it was always a fun, creative, escape from life, and one time in a server I joined people randomly started talking about "TERFs" and it's like, well, I'm not a radfem, so I would be in the clear, but I don't think "transwomen" are women either or "sex work is work" or other libfem slogans, so it's like I'm crucified either way. But then the radfem fandom people get mad because I enjoy fiction that isn't 100% wholesome, but not to the degree the weird proshippers do. Sometimes I just want to simp over my favorite female characters without people shoving their porn addiction in my face or asking if I'm being inclusive of their version where she's a man.

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 10:33:46 PM No. 284998

>>284995
Yeah, having a wife I can discuss these things with is amazing, I'm very lucky. We do agree on most things, but with some we don't. It's civil though and it spurs a lot of discussions and observations about how our different backgrounds and upbringings has moulded us into the people we are today. It's honestly made me a better, more thoughtful person. My last ex was a rabid libfem who disagreed with nearly everything I believe. At first we were more similar but she grew more liberal and I grew more conservative (I don't consider myself a conservative but I am labelled one by some people who are pretty far left). We did agree to disagree but eventually she just threw that aside to call me out for thoughtcrimes against troons. She was also bisexual and made me feel really weird about my masculinity and caused my dysphoria to spiral. It was just a very messy relationship towards the end. Some of the older lesbian couples I know are like chalk and cheese, but they acknowledge each others right to think differently. That is a rare thing these days. It makes dating so much worse; as if lesbian dating wasn't hard enough to begin with. God, I don't get the policing of fiction. As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict I do have some cringe fanfics on my hard drive where I've projected like a lighthouse onto characters from media or sometimes characters I made for RPGs just to get the thoughts out of my head. It's very cathartic. The irony of the fact that the people who would dislike these fics are the type of people that would write or promote fics that include homophobic re-writes of gay couples to include a tranny is not lost on me. Absolutely depressing state of affairs. Anyway, I'm off to bed. Really enjoyed talking with someone so likeminded! Take care, nonna. ♥

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri) 10:58:58 PM No. 285002

Indian women are amazing lesbians and friends

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 12:37:12 AM No. 285015

What are some genuinely good radblr or radtwt accounts to follow or just read? I don't have my own accounts because I'd worry too much about being doxxed or my libfem friends finding out somehow but I'm interested which ones you nonnas think are the best

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 02:40:36 AM No. 285032

>>285015
Depends on what you mean by "good", like if they have good political info or are just interesting people, and I assume they have to be lesbians too since this is the lesbian thread? I'm not a radfem but I still read Kittyit's blog on Tumblr and have a lot of respect for her and her writing, her girlfriend's book called Detransition Before and After is also an interesting "modern" feminism book.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 07:25:11 AM No. 285056

>>284987
Not totally related but I found interesting when you talked about girls who squee over kpop boys, is that it's much more frowned upon to publicly simp on girl, maybe because there is a majority of male attracted female in kpop fandom. I never saw people going even a 1/10 of the horniness on female group member and such.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 08:44:28 AM No. 285079

>>285075
grow up and start prioritizing your happiness over the opinions of other people

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 11:08:47 AM No. 285100

>>285002
Nice try at racebaiting but literally nobody has said otherwise. As far as I know I'm not the only non-white lesbian here and I've never witnessed any racism in this thread.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 11:37:59 AM No. 285103

>>285100
I think she was trying to celebrate them anon… Relax.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 11:51:49 AM No. 285104

>>285103
The sheer amount of bait - most of which is racebait - on this site makes me doubt posts like that when they come out of nowhere. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt though. She's probably quite young and new to this place.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 12:03:59 PM No. 285106

>>285056
it's a thing in fandoms generally, people are always more open towards how they feel about the men. when it comes to real people like musicians and celebs, i'd understand, but even in media fandoms where it's completely fictional and have no feelings there's a hesitancy towards female characters because it gets concern trolled as objectifying or secretly being a scrote. even i get hesitant to be as unhinged as my bi friends are about their male faves for some reasons

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 01:43:43 PM No. 285118

File: 1662212623344.jpeg (28.96 KB, 1024x914, notthis.jpeg)

>>285106
Male attraction also gets concern trolled about but people do it regardless. People are inventing reasons not to express their attraction to women, it's stupid. "12-year-olds on Tumblr told me I can't simp for kpop girl #981748235 so I'm comphet." Please.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 04:19:36 PM No. 285130

>>285118
Yeah, I was commenting on the phenomenon itself of everyone being more open about enthusiastic attraction towards males, divorced from the "comphet" BS. I personally keep it to myself due to internalized homophobia (although I'm learning to break out of it), but it shows a lot of women are bisexual since they think the answer is simping over anime/kpop/celeb boys instead and say it's comphet haunting them like some ghost.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 04:42:09 PM No. 285132

>>285130
NTA, but sometimes I wish I had lesbian and bi friends who were just as "pervy"? or "simpy" as me, so we could just openly talk. Or maybe they think the same thing as me and already are. Just in this age with problematic this, problematic that and basically being expected to pretend to be asexual to not be seen as threatening or evil, I'm not sure whether I'll ever be the first one to take that step towards not self censoring.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 05:29:38 PM No. 285136

>>285132
I find it's only offline I can talk about sex openly with other lesbians. Online there is so much sexuality policing it's unreal, even in this fucking thread anons get called scrotes for it which is ridiculous given how obvious AGPs are when they try being "sneaky" about it here. I'm starting to think the users who call anons scrotes or predatory or whatever for expressing their attraction and discussing aspects of their sex life are either virgins who have never had a healthy discussion about sex, or are battling internalised homophobia and jump to labelling our sexuality as something filthy, something wrong (guess it's easier to call someone a moid than address what's eating up your insides). I don't mean any of this in a harsh way, but some of you really need to hear how dykes talk in real life. None of this "um, nonny you literally just said you enjoyed tits like they're just OBJECTS for YOUR GRATIFICATION!" like I promise you it's ok to express your sexuality! Healthy even! I grew up very religious and I shamed and repressed myself so much that it really fucked me up and made me hate myself to the point of wanting to rope. Had I been able to just say "yeah, women are sexy" some place without being judged for it, it would've saved me a lot of turmoil.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 06:39:52 PM No. 285151

>>285136
Most lesbians my age who I've been around won't talk about anything slightly sexual, without also claiming they're asexual. The online brainrot has infiltrated irl.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 08:15:56 PM No. 285176

>>285136
This thread and online spaces in general have a really high number of virgins it seems, by the way they react to any sex talk.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 08:45:38 PM No. 285181

>>285151
Yeah, you youngfags got it worst. It seems most young Millennial/Zoomer kids can't discuss anything without debating it and politicising it. Then there's this shit about asexuality. At least I had some time online and offline before the brainrot hit peak retardation. Although I do know some people my age (31) and even older who adopt the opinions of the younger generation wrt sex and sexuality. It's embarrassing to watch. I can forgive someone who's like, 21/22ish for being a dumbass because I've been there, done that and got the t-shirt. But when you're over 30 and spouting that shit? Dude. Log off.

>>285176
It's like sex talk is either disgusting and pornified or prudish and shameful. No middle ground. When it comes to lesbians it's usually the latter and I blame a lot of it on that "wlw" shit. Hand holding this, hair braiding that. Writing love poems and baking her bread. Rearing sheep and dressing like you're Amish. Go eat some fucking pussy instead, nerds.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 09:12:18 PM No. 285191

>>285132
Same, I feel like having same-sex attracted female friends I could talk about this stuff with (hell, if it's just talking about characters lmao) would help with my internalized homophobia; because for me it's not that I think I have "male gaze" or whatever BS, it's just I feel like I'm too much of a dork to be sexual and express it.

>>285181
That's another thing, it's like no one can be carnal, but in a positive or humanizing way towards its target. I'm not a prude or one of those people that think anything besides vanilla sex is patriarchy but on one end I see tryhards saying over-the-top gross shit like "step on me, choke me, and let me gag on your strap" (not to "kinkshame" but…ew. And every butch I'm friends with has told me they HATE having this said to them) but then the other side is like "omg?? i just??? girls??? so soft????". Gag.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 09:36:32 PM No. 285202

>>285191
>I see tryhards saying over-the-top gross shit like "step on me, choke me, and let me gag on your strap" (not to "kinkshame" but…ew. And every butch I'm friends with has told me they HATE having this said to them)
AYRT and as a butch the one sure way to turn me off so hard it would make me think I'm asexual is to talk like that. It feels so dehumanising too, like you're just meant to be this lusty cavewoman who throws women around. Not saying I don't enjoy a little rough 'n' tumble but Jesus Christ… Choking? Stepping? Gagging? The only gagging going on is me gagging on my own vomit.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 11:12:25 PM No. 285209

Luna

She is pale, silent, serene in air
Aglow, lounging in her kingdom
Sighing, drifting clouds, can’t reach her
But she watches with silent knowing
Bathing me in her effervescent glowing

Luna, the pearly unreadable plain
Of your face, where I drift in my dreams
Taunting, I tread black waters in vain
I rise and fall for you, a sighing wet tide
On lace crest of waves, you may hide

Luna, oblivious of the merciless dance
Of waltzing earth in the infinite sky
Pretty demon, sapping me each chance
Unscathed by ravenous fire
And still cold with my warmth

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 11:32:34 PM No. 285212

>>285209
Beautiful anon. My middle names luna so I really enjoyed it.

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 11:56:41 PM No. 285217

>>285212
Luna nonna i wrote it for u then uwu

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 12:04:07 AM No. 285219

>>285217
I can only dream thank you for being sweet

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 01:56:10 AM No. 285238

>>285136
>I don't mean any of this in a harsh way, but some of you really need to hear how dykes talk in real life.
Couldn't have put it better myself tbh. Seeing women being unabashed about their attraction to women made me start pushing against being ashamed about thinking women were hot.

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 09:58:42 AM No. 285300

>>285191
Yeah in a way the whole choking, stepping gagging thing isn't even truly sexual, it's just violent. It still feels like they are distancing themselves. Somehow it's become more vulgar to talk about pleasure, rather than talking about violent shit. Like some other butches complain about being treated like a piece of meat by other women. I honestly wouldn't mind that, I'd probably love that, but why does it have to be a violent piece of meat?

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 04:43:28 PM No. 285345

>>285300
AYRT, yeah, like I said, I'm not a prude or radfem or anything or one of those that thinks you should only have vanilla sex in a marriage, but a lot of hardcore violent kink shit really is emotional distancing from actual sex and attraction to people. I used to have friends (not hetero, shockingly, some were in same-sex relationships) who were into BDSM to the point it was their lifestyle and their outlook on basic sexuality was so unhealthy and disconnected, it was clearly a replacement for other problems in their life (one of my friends could only do something if her 'dom' told her to and rewarded her after - she stopped and left this relationship but it was crazy how she eroticized learned helplessness).

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 05:36:33 PM No. 285353

Dear nonnies, how do I stop myself from falling hopelessly in love with bihets and straight girls and subsequently getting my heart broken when they get a boyfriend? How do I not kermit when I think about how I will never be the handsome man they're looking for? The lesbians and actual kinsey 1+ bisexuals that I've met are taken, not interested or simply not my type at all regarding looks and interests, I feel like I'm cursed to have unrequited love for women while I watch them catch a Nigel that I can never become. I was considering trooning out for years, fantasizing about true Mengele shit like height lengthening surgeries to be taller and skin sausage dicks just because I so badly wanted to have a girlfriend. I've been told so many times the same "I'd date you immediately if you were a man" shit that one more will push me over the edge. I'm going legitimately insane with despair and bitterness. How the fuck are you supposed to cope with knowing that I'm probably going to go through life with disappointment after disappointment?

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 05:55:24 PM No. 285358

Cold as fuck out here, wish I was warming my hands between my gf's thighs. Ngl there is something so intoxicating and magical about the warmth between a woman's legs. Like not just the feeling or the intimacy but when I'm eating her out it's like there's a certain change in the air. Anyone else?????

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 06:04:45 PM No. 285364

>>285358
It's Oxygen-16 converting to Oxygen-17 while you eat out

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 06:06:23 PM No. 285365

>>285364
NTA but is eating out a sustainable form of energy?

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 06:09:57 PM No. 285366

>>285353
>I'd date you immediately if you were a man
Don't fall for this, they do not mean it even if they think they do. Also sounds like you're just not surrounded by enough actual SSA women which is causing you to fall for straight women due to the circumstance? You should really try not making friends with any more straight/bi women for a while and focus on lesbians. Even if they're taken, ask about friends they can introduce you to etc. At any rate pretending to be a man is not the solution. Do something constructive and work on not looking bitter because women can sniff that out from a mile away.

What is your type anyway?

>>285358
Same, but not just thighs. I love feeling how warm her body is around her abdomen or under her arms too. But yes to your spoiler too, it's like nothing else, being close to her that way.

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 06:22:10 PM No. 285369

>>285366
Just where is the magical land of lesbians where you just meet them in numbers and can just ask others to introduce you to some big lesbian network to explore? Lesbian bars don't exist where I live and the "gay communities" aren't for me because they focus on activism and joining them in hopes of finding a date sounds weird. I've met maybe a handful of lesbians in my life and plenty of bisexuals but the latter are always in straight relationships. I don't understand anons who say they've had like 5 girlfriends in their lives, do they know some secret SSA handshake or something?

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 08:40:15 PM No. 285393

>>285209
Wait, we've got Sappho posting in the thread kek? Dumb joke aside this is really beautiful and sweat nonnie, wishing the best to both Luna and you!

Anonymous 09/04/22 (Sun) 09:29:56 PM No. 285398

>>285369
DA but I wonder this too. Most people I know IRL are straight or bi in a straight relationship. I've seen advice to befriend girls on apps and join their friend group but a lot of what I see nearby are unicorn hunters and TIM/TIFs.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 01:44:38 AM No. 285436

>>285369
It's called living in a city and using apps.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 01:49:59 AM No. 285437

I feel like all this I'm not a radfem I'm not political comments are like when emma watsom (fuck her) came out as a feminist and all these women were telling the world they weren't. Isn't being a radfem now just what being a feminist was back in the day. All it means is that you're pink/black pilled and care about the well being of women?

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 05:33:44 AM No. 285450

>>285437
I say it because it tends to be assumed that real lesbian that doesn't agree with trans issues = radfem (or that radfem communities are the only safe place for lesbians, which isn't true) when it's not always that simple. A lot of radfem views are basic feminism (woman=female, pro-choice, anti or at the very least critical of porn and prostitution, etc.), but the second-wave of feminism is a branch of its own and reading theory and talking to actual radfems made me realize I disagree with just as many things too. I'm also just tired of having people assume my political views the moment they find out my sexuality, both conservative and liberal straight people do because they assume I'm on the LGBTQ+++ side, or the LGBT TRA side worries if I'm a "TERF" for having thought crimes. Not to mention, I'm not an activist, so it doesn't feel right to call myself a radical anything even if I was.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 08:30:25 AM No. 285467

>>284987
Reading this made me realize how much I hate that so many lesbians on lolcow tend to think lesbianism = complete totalitarian female separatism. Why does someone not pretending as if men don't exist make them a "lowly bisexual"? I know plenty of fully gay guys who simp for female pop stars, think they're attractive and buy their merch et cetera but are not attracted to them and would not be interested in a relationship yet nobody calls them "bis in denial" for it. And likewise nobody thinks a straight girl considering a female idol beautiful and idolizing her is a lesbian. But for some reason when it comes to lesbians there's a retarded amount of policing around what counts as ~twue lesbianism~ when it should be nothing more than being attracted to other women exclusively in real life. Anime men aren't real and the lesbians I know only like them because it allows them to create a connection with other women through shared interests. The same goes for K-pop idols who are real people but they're fully unattainable with a fake persona so they might as well be myths. These girls most likely do not fantasize about dating and fucking Jungkook personally but idolize him without some romantic self insertion. Do "real lesbians" just squee over moid pandering waifus or female idols instead? If so, I have plenty of heterosexual women to introduce you to who do that shit constantly and hate all mentions of male characters and male idols.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 10:21:11 AM No. 285485

A couple years ago I used to know all the fashion trends especially like that fuckboy haircut. But idk if it's because I've been out of the loop (was dating someone/stopped looking). Has the collective style or identifiers disappeared? Or does it not matter when you get older and older 30+ lesbians have higher senses and can sniff another lesbian out easy peasy?

>>285450
Ohh yeah I forgot about the activist part of it. Thanks for replying back I get it, wanting to step away from all the politics that get tacked on.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 10:28:08 AM No. 285487

>>285467
Nta but usually people are talking about stuff like this
>>284842
when they mention supposed 'lesbians' being into anime guys, not just liking characters platonically.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 10:46:01 AM No. 285488

>>285487
While that particular post is a hyperbolic example (I actually thought the character was female at first tbh and it seems that's how he was supposed to be) and I understand the point, where is the line drawn exactly? Everyone here seems to agree with the sentiment that a straight becky posting ridiculous shit like "I want anime mommy #4535 to suffocate me with her big milkers and fat ass cheeks uwu" while dating and having sexual relations with men only is as heterosexual as one can be but when a lesbian hornyposts about a cartoon sexyman while having only interest in women IRL makes her a traumatized bi in denial ashamed of her attraction to men. I'll admit that simping for characters played by real life actors is toeing the line and pretty much stepping over it but some anime characters are another thing entirely.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 11:17:01 AM No. 285490

>>285488
When it comes to anime shit, it really does sometimes feel like the same logic TRAs use where suddenly when a butch troons out, lesbians can't be attracted to her anymore in their opinion. Some anime scrote can be drawn the exact same way as a tomboy in that style, but because one is canonically a man and the other is canonically a woman, that suddenly makes all the difference. Like it's just fucking semantics at some point. This is the same logic how you end up with t4t gaydens who think they are into men, because they are into anime guys, when in reality they would only ever want to be with women. You don't get that blurry line with irl shit, vs with anime.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 02:23:39 PM No. 285505

>>285490
>>285488
This. Anime and drawings aren't at all equivalent to real men, and it's beyond retarded to act like they are. Everyone's always criticizing lesbians for daring to find fictional men cute as if they aren't just pixels on a fucking screen.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 02:36:37 PM No. 285513

>>285505
I think it's mostly hypervigilance at this point. There are some "lesbians" literally jerking off to anime moids which isn't the same as the ones who just think the design is cool/androgynous. There is simply no way of knowing which category the anime worshipper you're talking to belongs to because you can't know if she's telling the truth. The based take is that anime is garbage.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 02:47:31 PM No. 285514

>>284952
>strap-on discourse
kek i started at least one little strap on spat on radbl just for fun

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 03:42:00 PM No. 285521

>>285490
>This is the same logic how you end up with t4t gaydens who think they are into men, because they are into anime guys, when in reality they would only ever want to be with women.
Exactly, muddying the waters with gendering fiction is what TRAs always do. Aydens who like female fan favourites and male characters written by women are memed into thinking they're gay males because they like a completely fictional gender and only date other Aydens making them the notorious "lesbians with extra steps" stereotype. I've heard the "well gay men don't larp as anime lesbians" clause being used as a rebuttal but to be fair I've seen it happen a lot with "femboy" type troons and even besides that there's the more complex issue of the fetishization of lesbians for the male gaze and baby lesbians wanting to distance themselves from it with their fictional males that are vague enough to interpret as whatever gender you feel like. I feel it's very similar to the mentioned spergy strap on discourse, as in liking penetration means you're actually bi because penetrative sex is the heterosexual norm even though it's just how vaginas are generally built.

>>285513
Hypervigilance is a good point and understandable, I've ripped my hair out many times coming across femcel "lesbians" who talk about wanting to suck an attractive male actor off and turn straight when a man shows passing interest in them. But moving the goalposts of what being a lesbian is supposed to be is also a headache and causes a lot of women to go "I guess I like dick then" if they like a bunch of artificial pixels on the screen specifically designed to appeal to women and get themselves into genuine comphet situations. Terminally autistic microblog but I thought I was bisexual because I enjoyed male anime characters a lot more than female ones before I realized that I only like it when women cosplay as them while men doing the same was uncanny and gross to me no matter how attractive he was, while straight girls went crazy with admiration. When the concept was transferred to real life it was clear how I was actually interpreting them.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 04:27:02 PM No. 285530

>>285521
I think that anyone who's never had sex should just stay away from sexual labels until they pursue their attraction IRL and see if it's truly real. NOT saying "try both genders" at all because obv that is not necessary whatsoever but like, until you try just the one gender you think you're into IRL you have no business sperging about sex. Too many virgins are talking about sex as if they know the first thing about it.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 05:57:58 PM No. 285543

>>285505
on the other hand, when men are into stuff like traps they're considered bi/gay even if they only fuck women irl

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 06:27:40 PM No. 285546

>>285488
>>285467
AYRT, I really do get where you're coming from since I'm on the "fiction isn't reality" side of fandom discourse, but if you can't tell the difference between a gay person having an opposite-sex favorite character or celeb that they think is cool/cute and the self-hating bisexuals I used to know on Tumblr who talk about wanting to gobble on some guys knob but say it's "comphet" and keep acting like attraction to men that they're ashamed of is akin to catching the flu or being haunted by a ghost that makes them want to suck dick, then I don't know what to tell you. I have lesbian friends who literally pretend their anime guys are women because why not, it's fiction, but it seems like when you're the only lesbian in a fandom who isn't obsessed with 2D penis (even if it's 2D, even if it's just fiction) it gets kind of weird.

I don't believe in separatism or anything like that either since I'm just as critical of how radfems police lesbian's sexuality as much as I am over how "lesbian" is a trendy label now (compared to how being bisexual/"pansexual" was cool a decade ago).

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 07:32:37 PM No. 285567

>>285488

I’m the anon who posted that actually, and I can’t believe how angry people got over it lol. I’ve heard so many straight girls say “I’d fuck the shit out of Lady Dimitrescu” or straight men saying “I’m not gay but if I was I’d fuck him”, but they’re never questioned about their sexuality for it.

When I said “I want to suck the skin off his cock” I meant it in the same way that straight girls say they’d eat out a hot anime girl, or the way a straight man might simp about “Femboy cock”. If that anime character was an irl man, I’d be completely disgusted by him. But it’s an anime character. He does not exist. He is lines on a screen.

It’s insane how lesbians aren’t allowed to even JOKE about liking the opposite sex without being policed about “you’re not a real lesbian because you said you’d fuck an anime man” It was a joke, an exaggeration. If a straight man said “I’d put my dick in Pewdiepie” it’s seen as a joke, but when a lesbian does the same thing, the fucking Lesbian Cops start whining about “you’re not a real lesbian” it’s so annoying fr, these girls need some pussy ASAP, bc that’s bitchless behavior

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 10:21:44 PM No. 285602

File: 1662416504615.png (18.4 KB, 583x304, 07.png)

>>285567
>the way a straight man might simp about “Femboy cock”
Literally none of those guys are straight what are you talking about.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 11:10:51 PM No. 285609

>>285602

I meant how some moids say it in a joking way. Not the ones who actually mean it. But tbh that one was a bad example on my part, cause I forget that they’re not joking sometimes.

Anonymous 09/05/22 (Mon) 11:23:11 PM No. 285611

>>285602
femboys are straight in the same way that traps are. they look exactly like women except for one thing. it's 100% normal, most men are attracted to femboys.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:38:56 AM No. 285625

>>285611
Most heterosexual and opposite-sex preferring bisexual men have a paraphilia for femininity, back when I had OSA male friends, a lot of them acted absolutely disgusted over the idea of a woman they were dating ceasing to shave or wear makeup. A man that looks like a woman is still a man, they're bisexual or closeted gay.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 01:28:00 AM No. 285633

>>285393
Wtf nonnie im blushing it’s not even the best it’s basically saying ‘mm she’s distant and im h*rny hehe’ but thank you sweatheart ♥

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 03:17:53 AM No. 285641

>>285567
Pretending to like women is trendy so you equating het women saying they want to be stepped on by Dimitrescu to fauxbians salivating over cartoon cock isn't the loophole you think it is. Also no straight woman talks about eating out an anime girl, they just say shit like "choke me" aka male porn acts but imposed onto a female character.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 04:23:27 AM No. 285651

>>285611
No they're not, men are into that shit because of the surprise dick and lose interest if it's not there.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 04:48:18 AM No. 285654

Why we always got to talk about semantics and weeb shit.

Anons wanting to talk about more non puritan sex talk posting but what we get is weeb nonnies wanting anime dick what the fuck is this.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 05:40:56 AM No. 285657

I just wonder whether the weeb anons are like this nonna >>262813

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 05:51:36 AM No. 285658

>>285657
Oh my god I also read the post she was replying too. The zoomer/nlog generation is fucked. Why do they have to commodify and put everything into little boxes. Pre mtf whaaat theeeee fuuuuuckkk.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 06:10:45 AM No. 285659

>>285658
That is literally raging misogyny if you think women with androgynous features who don’t shave are “pre-ftm”. Full on tranny tier brainrot, but no doubt she thinks she is based because read some lame radblr posts. Anyway, she is never getting close to masc women with that attitude kek

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 06:38:53 AM No. 285663

>>285658
>>285659
Many zoomers don't know about the concept of "butch" and that actually causes problems. They only understand "pre-FTM". With no concept like "butch", people return to their kneejerk reaction of "you're trying to be a man if you're in any way shape or form masc". It's either a masc "(pre-)FTM" haircut to them, or a feminine uwu pixie haircut, if it's short. And why would you even want to be masc if you weren't a pre-FtM (at least in their mind)? They think the only reason a woman would want to be masc is if she's taken the plunge to transition, and right up until that moment you just keep super duper long hair, no other reason you'd cut it. It still baffles me that a short masc haircut is already considered transitioning. I honestly wouldn't mind a weeb gf who wants me to crossplay and I'd love to be loved for my masculinity, but at this point I'm kinda terrified by how my own generation views me and other butches.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 07:06:54 AM No. 285666

>>285654
Because it's interesting and generates discussion with the lesbians who aren't living a wholesome tradlife, I'd much rather read anons' struggles with their sexuality and how they and their thoughts function as a lesbian compared to straight women than another "my wife and I did this and that" post, "I want to eat my girlfriend's wet pussy" blog or rolling eyes and scoffing "just install a dating app" at the loser anons who are lonely because homophobia is still a thing.

>>285657
What's exactly so horrible about this? I know anons have a spergfit at "he/him lesbians" but presenting masculine and doing drag king stuff or even adopting a male name has always been a part of lesbian culture and anon specifically says that she's not into troons but princely women who borderline larp as fictional ikemen. It's nerdy I guess but far from "raging misogyny".

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 07:12:03 AM No. 285667

I brought this up before but I would like to talk to other nonnies about this. Openlibrary.org has a lot of lesbian books from the 80-90-00s we should do a book club lol.
Usually when I'm between serial monogamy I feel like I completely forget how to snu snu so I was reading two how to sex guides several months ago and half of it was about dicks and trans shit and the other half was just do what feels right and create a safe space. Well no shit, I want to learn techniques while I twiddle my thumbs. So when I was looking for less woke material I stumbled upon Open Libraries treasure trove. Here's just a small list of the titles I saved for later. If anyone wants to talk about the books or recommend something I'm all eyes. (hopefully most of this isn't polilez shit)

Finding the Lesbians
Personal Accounts from Around the World
9780895944276

The history of lesbian hair
and other tales of bent life in a straight world by Mary Dugger
0385480377

The lesbian sex book
by Wendy Caster
1555832113

More lesbian etiquette
humorous essays by Gail Sausser
0895944162

Call me lesbian
lesbian lives, lesbian theory by Julia Penelope
0895944979

Lesbian adventure stories
by Mikaya Heart
0961512938

The Lesbian path
by Margaret Cruikshank
0912516968

Lesbian love signs
an astrological guide to women loving women by Aurora
0895944677

The whole lesbian sex book
a passionate guide for all of us by Felice Newman
1573440884

True Secrets of Lesbian Desire
Keeping Sex Alive in Long-Term Relationships by Renate Stendhal
9781556434754

Lesbian passion
loving ourselves and each other by JoAnn Loulan
0933216297

The lesbian erotic dance
butch, femme, androgyny, and other rhythms
0933216769

Gravel queen
by Tea Benduhn
068984994X

Daring to Dissent
Lesbian Culture from Margin to Mainstream (Women on Women) by Liz Gibbs
9780304327942

Susie Sexpert's lesbian sex world
by Susie Bright
0939416344

Ladies
by Doris Grumbach
9780449208182

Desire by Starlight
by Radclyffe
9781602821880

Another mother tongue
gay words, gay worlds by Judy Grahn
0807067164

Provincetown summer & other stories
by Lindsay Welsh
1563330407

Keeping you a secret
by Julie Anne Peters
0316702757

Women on Women
An Anthology of American Lesbian Short Fiction (Women on Women) by Joan Nestle and Naomi Holoch
9780452263888

Vampires & violets
lesbians in film by Andrea Weiss
0140231005

Odd girls and twilight lovers
a history of lesbian life in twentieth-century America by Lillian Faderman
0231074883

Sapphistry
the book of lesbian sexuality by Patrick Califia-Rice
9780941483247

Fun home
a family tragicomic by Alison Bechdel
9780618477944

And these two accounts that I found had a lot of lesbian books in them but you have to sift through https://openlibrary.org/people/briekm/lists/OL109944L/To_read and https://openlibrary.org/people/ovie

Also I think one of my favorite books was this one I read about a country Canadian tough stuff chick (bleh she was bi but lets just forget that) that ends up with this irish airline stewardess. It was cute even though I don't remember the ending. And that one author Harper Bliss if I can get over the huge age gaps and fetish for turning straight women.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 07:17:33 AM No. 285669

>>285666
I don't think it's horrible, I'm >>285663
It would be no issue to me if they'd look into this more and not call everything "pre-ftm", or not buy into common stereotypes about masc women many zoomers believe. If the weeb anons are like the fantasies thread nonna, it makes sense and that's different imo from weebs who claim to be lesbians struggling with "comphet", but actually are legit into canonically male characters and would want an irl male version of that. Rather than have a gf just crossplay and they want them to actually be female (not talking about pronouns or whatever, but sex).
>>285667
I can already say Julia Penelope is a polilez, but she's also one of the few who is an actual lesbian iirc

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 07:23:05 AM No. 285670

>>285659
lol. Hopefully it's only online talk and she never goes outside to actually meet someone.

>>285663
Yeah, I know the internet is bleeding out into real life. But I have seen a handful of young gnc lesbians at my previous job that seemed to know nothing about online discourse. It seemed like they where just naturally themselves. That was before covid though. Seems like everyone's online now. Who cares about everyone else though all you have to find is one person that views you/ treats you right. Just one. <3

>>285666
You're the nonnie that posted that huh.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 07:38:20 AM No. 285672

>>285669
That anon didn't say "pre-ftm" though, I thought she made the distinction between a FTM and a larper pretty clear and that she specifically likes girls who play pretend as anime men and not actually skinwalk them to the point they'd go on a fool's errand trying to become him in real life. As a butch one of my previous girlfriends playfully called me her boyfriend and I didn't mind it because we both knew I was a woman.

>>285670
Nope, I'm just not a reactive sperg who buys into the TRA narrative that gender play, a thing distinctively associated with gay culture, means immediately trooning out and denying material reality.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 07:56:11 AM No. 285680

>>285672
I can see that. Idk I guess me being terminally online has tainted genderplay and asking my future gf to put on a tuxedo. It's a sad day today.

idk maybe it's the feminist in me but I think divine masculine and feminine should all be abolished and drag kings are cringe/ old lesbians had their own skeletons in the closet dealing with misogyny and society creating this strict butch/femme symbiosis that seemed at times toxic. We don't have to mirror the past either.

The image I was replying to was referring to women as pre ftm here >>262727

>>285669
Thanks Nonnie I'll keep that in mind when I read her book. All the ones by JoAnn Loulan seem promising.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 08:03:55 AM No. 285682

>>285672
Yeah but it feels stupid to not just say butch instead of "pre-FtM who doesn't even want to be FtM [insert long explanation]".
>>285680
Most people aren't actually saying that society should create a strict butch/femme system, they are just expressing that they are into masc women really. For some reason whenever someone says they are into masc women in any way shape or form, someone has to come in to say how they don't feel like it's feminist. If anything, there is a big push to "do both", and everything related to masc women is shat on enough. And again, as if only masc women can be misogynistic, toxic or portray "fuckboy" behavior. Funny how that isn't automatically brought up when your average feminine woman is thirsted over or said anything positive about. Like femme4femme is venerated at this point, but it's still not enough apparently.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 08:27:15 AM No. 285685

>>285682
Maybe venerated by straights lol. But they're not really saying that and it feels like they feel safer with a manlite that's pretending to be a man than a masculine woman (That was going on even before ftm discourse with butches becoming pawpaw to women that had multiple baby daddies and became gay for pay.)

I don't mean it that way, I guess I'm like one of those bi chicks saying everyone's fluid when they aren't. I like to dress masc/fem whatever I'm feeling. Chinos and wingtip oxfords or pencil skirts and button-ups it's all just a form of expression to me. I don't know what we're talking about anymore because I think being masculine is not a statement but just how someone is/wants to present? Any woman can have internalized misogyny I would think the one's closest to presenting to societies standards could be more toxic since they haven't had to come face to face with how society perceives them going against the grain.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 08:47:12 AM No. 285687

>>285685
Most lesbians are femme4femme, at least in the west. Butches have practically disappeared and have been consistently shat on within the community since the 70's. You don't notice the veneration, because many think femme4femme is like two bimbos together who look like they came straight from a porno, rather than two women who are together and who would be considered "neutral". Since what is considered "neutral" for women, is actually still pretty damn feminine and femme doesn't just mean "high femme". So no, it aren't just the straights venerating.
>I don't mean it that way, I guess I'm like one of those bi chicks saying everyone's fluid when they aren't. I like to dress masc/fem whatever I'm feeling. Chinos and wingtip oxfords or pencil skirts and button-ups it's all just a form of expression to me.
Because being butch is more than just being an average feminine woman with long hair, who wears make up regularly and just happens to wear trousers and a masculine shoe choice sometimes. Some women just never want to wear pencil skirts, never want to wear make up and don't feel like they're themselves in feminine shit. Maybe it's just not comfortable. The whole "please switch it up" thing will be interpreted in the context of a long line of people, including a butches' family, teachers, peers, consistently trying to pressure them to be more feminine, from when they were still young tomboys. It's not necessarily a political statement, but yeah it can actually reflect something about someone's personality, like preferring comfort and practicability, or that they probably had to struggle a lot with being shat on for being different, or that they maybe have some masc hobbies. Like you obviously don't get if if you think a woman could ever actually be a manlite, the whole point is that she's still female, there's no dick and she's socialized female so she can never truly act like a man.
Seriously, that "man-lite" is still a masculine woman and the women who think like "oh I prefer man-lite", don't stay with that "man-lite", because in the end she's still a masculine woman. You're going to be very disappointed if you go into it without keeping that in mind. The only way you can be into it, is if in the end the important part to you is that she's female. Like this is just retarded shit about how if you're attracted to butches, you have to be at least bi. Since the goalposts are always moved and you find out that the anon's idea of acceptable masculinity which isn't "male-lite" is an average feminine woman with long hair who wears a backwards baseball cap and boyfriend cut jeans at most and wears a dress at least once a week.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 09:09:00 AM No. 285688

>>285687
lol idk what's going on here anymore and why you're mad. I'm going to sleep good night and sweet dreams.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 09:20:33 AM No. 285689

>>285688
because this happens regularly and it's getting pretty annoying that the same stupid questions and claims about some butches being man-lite and borderline TRA rhetoric acting like she's suddenly not a masculine woman anymore. First it starts with shitting on he/him lesbian shit or crossplay or whatever, then it's always revealed that the real masculinity limit for the offended anon isn't even about grey area shit, but literally just the whole concept of never wanting to dress feminine is what is so misogynistic and male-lite apparently.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 10:08:43 AM No. 285692

Nonas, anyone else have a "The One that Got Away"? We were practically forced to break up by her family years ago, before the relationship even properly took flight. Life went on, we both had our own lives, grew as people, are adults now yada yada. Anyway nonas, I'm catching feelings again and I want to distract myself by hearing others' stories

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 10:16:54 AM No. 285694

>>285692
Bruh I was literally crying right now thinking about how perfect my ex was besides constantly smoking weed and getting depressed and being annoyed with everything I did at the end of the relationship. I currently feel like I'll never find someone who enjoys my company. Are you catching feelings for her again or someone else?

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 10:48:05 AM No. 285700

>>285692
It was the first day of secondary school and the teacher was reading off the names. When I heard my name, me and another girl both said we were here and I guess it was love at first sight. We decided to become best friends based on having the same name and we did everything together. At some point some years later we started fooling around and we were in a de facto relationship, but never called it that. Everything just felt natural, no worries, everything was great. Then she came out and wanted to make things official. While I'm obviously not straight to everyone, I didn't really dare to because of my crazy family and living in a religious area. So I broke up with her, to give her the chance to have the kind of relationship she wants. However she kept getting into actually shitty relationships and she kept sleeping with me here and there, until it just stopped a couple years ago and now we only talk sometimes. On one hand she's the one that got away, on the other hand I'm happy that we broke up on a high note, so I have just positive memories. I wouldn't even really want to get back together with her, because we've probably grown apart quite a bit. However I don't think I'll ever have such a chill situationship/relationship with someone again. It legit felt like one long summer break, that lasted years. That experience did set my ideal "relationship" standards, it's like we somehow managed to preserve that honeymoon phase for years and never got into that boring relationship routine. We took each other out practically every day, never got bed death, always stayed spontaneous, a lot of PDA, no need to verbally announce or advertise the relationship, people could just tell by our actions.

I haven't really fallen for anyone like that again, because it just never happens anymore. Things can't naturally grow. You meet on an app, have to basically decide to be in a relationship before even meeting and it's like all the fun and chill gets beaten out of it. And no there aren't any lesbian bars around me or a place where you can actually find lesbians or just in general anything more than spicy straight people. I don't exactly like the "befriend someone on Tinder and get recommended to one of their friends", because that feels like shitting where you eat and like a recipe of drama if you ever break up and doesn't change that modern dating standards are really weird and skip any courtship period, period. It still dives right into controlling and online stalking behavior "in the name of love". I don't know why it used to be so much easier to find actual lesbians or even bi women. I also can't really imagine someone actually falling for me again.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 11:11:47 AM No. 285705

>>285687
>>285689
You dropped your crown my liege, truer words have never been spoken and your based meter is at 100%. Feels unironically validating to read posts like this as someone who's absolutely fucking done with the lesbian community being so triggered about masculine women and them willingly choosing to present the way they do. I remember my own mother lamenting over how I didn't dress like a proper woman and instead wanted to live my tomboy life because I find it comfortable and I can rock it.

>it's always revealed that the real masculinity limit for the offended anon isn't even about grey area shit, but literally just the whole concept of never wanting to dress feminine is what is so misogynistic and male-lite apparently.
This. It's never about the grey area alone, it's always a full ass "butches should stop being cringe and put on a dress" type of small minded garbage and faux concern over butchness being a pipeline to trooning out as if it was the cause alone and not the society and even the LGB community pressuring them to do so out of sheer annoyance of the concept of masculine women.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:03:08 PM No. 285712

>>285705
>"butches should stop being cringe and put on a dress" type of small minded garbage
It's so often implied that you basically have to put on a dress to prove you're not misogynistic, as if wearing dresses is inherent to being a woman. So if you're not willing to put them on sometimes, you hate women. In reality it's just many people confusing what they personally find attractive for what is "feminist". Everyone is allowed to think butches are cringe and everyone is allowed to not be attracted to butches. But just because it's cringe and not attractive to someone, doesn't mean they have to try to make you more attractive to them, while acting like a moralfag about it. Like some people ARE into it, aren't they allowed to have something too? Or does everyone just HAVE to be standard gender conforming with only societally acceptable amounts of androgyny? The people who ARE into it, just get ridiculed, accused of not even being into women by both sides of the gender debate within the community, are told that they might as well date men etc. Like they end up using the same type of arguments as straight lesbophobes do about lesbians in general. They'll accuse butches of being manlite and wanting to mimic heterosexuality, in the same breath as they themselves end up ironically enough sounding like a scrote kek.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:10:17 PM No. 285713

>>285692

Yes. Literally my dream girl. We didn’t even break up tho. She wasn’t accepted by her family, and her culture values family above all else. She killed herself. It hurts so bad because we live in a very accepting area, but the pain of losing her family was too much. They didn’t even come to her funeral. They never picked up the things she willed to them. I miss her so much.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:18:30 PM No. 285714

Going back to weeb shit, but not in the “anime man” way, did any of you guys have an awakening bc of anime? Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune always made me feel a type of way growing up, but I watched the English dub, and always felt weird about it because it called them cousins (autistic 10 year old me couldn’t read it that well, and I didn’t even know lesbians existed). Rewatched it as a teen in Japanese, turns out they were lesbians. Lesbian erasure is so weird, they’d literally rather have incest than two girls kissing

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:19:46 PM No. 285716

>>285700
I get that apps are too telegraphed but you're also expecting to have a meet cute like in secondary school. You're grown now, you're gonna need to get over this desire for romanticized childhood experiences. Bumble BFF is right there, you can meet women on entirely platonic terms and then get acquainted with her friends if you want. Or get a hobby group. Lamenting what isn't available to you anymore is a really pointless thing, you're making yourself jaded by doing this shit. Let go of what doesn't exist anymore.

>>285712
NTA and I wasn't in that back and forth but I can't even see who you two are so mad at? Nobody in this thread said anything like "you have to put on a dress or you're miso" from what I've read. You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder and are arguing with people that aren't even here? Maybe I zoned out reading the angry replies idk. I'm masc too but sheesh.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:31:00 PM No. 285719

>>285712
It's weird because some effeminate lesbians constantly cry about how they feel like Not Like Other Lesbians because they're feminine presenting and lesbians are "expected" to look masculine. It sounds more like them being offended that someone associates lesbians with being barefaced ugly bulldykes than having their sexuality questioned because they always take it out on butches instead of the straight people who think they're not "lesbian enough". Like I'm supposed to be sorry that I cause lesbians a bad rep by being what I am or something. It's the shit you find on sites like L Chat constantly.

>>285716
NTA but this condescending "just install a dating app lol" and "why are you so seething over butches being invalidated chill out" attitude is tiring. A lot of us are here venting about our experiences on an universal scale because lbr it fucking sucks being a lesbian and gender nonconforming in most parts of the world outside of progressive western cities with a thriving community and a secured relationship lasting for years.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:34:50 PM No. 285721

File: 1662467690579.jpg (39.02 KB, 629x450, 610edd78922b78e3cef801b5f6f030…)

>>285719
Do you think the people who moved to cities, swallowed their pride and got apps, put in hours and hours into finding someone, established a lasting and loving relationship are just fucking blessed by god? Your whining is what is tiring. Me me me, I hate my life and will do nothing to fix it. Boo hoo. Yeah it fucking sucks, especially when you wallow.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:41:38 PM No. 285723

>>285721
Kek why are you so mad? You're accusing others of having "a chip on their shoulders" yet get so angry about them struggling with feelings of loneliness and invalidation while complaining about how much elbow grease you put into finding a relationship. If you know how much effort it takes, then why are you shitting on people struggling with the same problems? How do you know anons aren't putting any effort they can under their personal circumstances yet come here to vent after being discouraged? Seriously, this is some boomer level "everyone else is lazy but me and it was never about luck and chance but my hard work" kind of behavior so take a seat.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:46:13 PM No. 285726

Meet cutes can still be possible as an older lesbian. You don’t have to go along with dating rules of today you can write them yourself. Like waiting three months to have sex and hanging out before you call it anything. You can have boundaries anon and build up the tension in getting to know someone. Just got to hope that you find someone with the same mindset and curiosity/patience to start slow and test the waters before trying to dive into a relationship.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:47:17 PM No. 285727

>>285716
I don't expect a whole ass meetcute, but things like Bumble BFF are just used by straight women around here. And like I said, I don't want to make friends just to find someone via them, because if we do end up breaking up, you end up with a whole taking sides situation and a lot more drama. It also doesn't solve the modern dating problem where you really really don't get the chance to let things build naturally. If there is any interest, there is the expectation to immediately make it official and figure things out later. You cannot circumvent that really, without it being seen as an outright rejection or you being a massive fuckboy(girl). Then with the added issue that immediately get the whole friend group on your ass over it, if you did meet that way. Nowadays you're not just talking to one person, but everything you sent is analyzed by some secret ass group chat and you're expected to have active social media profiles for everyone to cyberstalk. I also have to go to the other side of the fucking country to even find other lesbians or even a bi woman. Like what the fuck happened? It's not like I come across them at work or anywhere else, not even at any sports I've done. It feels like I'm the only one in like a 50km radius at least. When I was younger it felt like I was tripping over them left and right, that is what I lament, not the meetcute.
>Nobody in this thread said anything like "you have to put on a dress or you're miso" from what I've read.
Not literally, but I don't know how else you want to interpret
>idk maybe it's the feminist in me but I think divine masculine and feminine should all be abolished and drag kings are cringe/ old lesbians had their own skeletons in the closet dealing with misogyny and society creating this strict butch/femme symbiosis that seemed at times toxic. We don't have to mirror the past either.
Especially when nonnas feel the need to go there every. single. time. and refuse to just scroll up (since it was probably already discussed just a month ago).
>>285721
I already live in a city, but cities here are like the size of villages in other countries. Someone requested whiny "the one that got away" stories, I provided one. Fucking hell. Yeah fuck me for dealing with an unprecedented housing crisis, inflation, just like everyone else in my generation, so it's not as easy to "just move" now compared to even just a couple years ago. Added to that we're so bad with butch hate in the community in this country nowadays, that other butches who moved to here almost regret it. I'm not exactly a special snowflake in my situation.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 12:54:05 PM No. 285729

>>285726
Thanks, I'll just have patience. Things are so fucked anyway, with the terf witch hunts, pandemic, war, inflation, energy crisis, housing crisis etc. So will also be probably a while before others even return to stuff like hobby groups.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 01:21:19 PM No. 285735

>>285727
>It also doesn't solve the modern dating problem where you really really don't get the chance to let things build naturally. If there is any interest, there is the expectation to immediately make it official and figure things out later.
I honestly have not had this happen to me. Ime when I go on a date we're all seeing multiple people or at least are not in an official thing until something builds and we don't rush into stuff. You can be explicit about your expectations/boundaries and find likeminded people. You can even be clear about that in your bio so you don't accidentally rope someone in, there are ways. Maybe all this is a zoomer thing you're describing but I'm in my early 30s and have no clue what you're talking about with needing socials to stalk etc.

>idk maybe it's the feminist in me but I think divine masculine and feminine should all be abolished and drag kings are cringe/ old lesbians had their own skeletons in the closet dealing with misogyny and society creating this strict butch/femme symbiosis that seemed at times toxic. We don't have to mirror the past either.
Well she elaborates what she meant a couple posts down from that and while I don't think she's right about us, she also wasn't phrasing things in a way where she thinks she's the authority on how we feel/think. Some of the replies to her speculative posts read like straight up trauma responses and it's not the only time this has happened here. She's not force feminizing you, she didn't pressure you to conform while you were a young masc girl. She's not your oppressor. She's trying to be critical about the categories we sort ourselves into and asserts that maybe we're going against the grain in a way where we're overcompensating which yeah, in some ways that can happen. You can look at examples of butches calling butch4butch "faggy" for that, as an example. It's not possible to say you're immune to societal norms when your response is so emotional. An unaffected mind would not go into such hard defense. Of course it hurts, we're audited both on our masculinity and female sex all the time. But she isn't the arbiter of that, by her own admission. Especially considering how a lot of us also have dysphoria, it's okay to ask questions.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 01:43:24 PM No. 285739

>>285735
Yeah this is a zoomer thing, I can't exactly help that. Like you could be talking for a week on a dating app, not even having met and it already starts with "you're probably talking to your other hoes", because you don't have some social media they can stalk while you're busy and can't respond to a dm. Things didn't go much different after meeting people at parties either. Any time I try to set boundaries, it's always taken as evidence that I want to cheat, while we're just in the talking stage and aren't even dating, so it wouldn't even be cheating. Never mind that I probably wasn't even talking to other people, but I was just busy.
>Some of the replies to her speculative posts read like straight up trauma responses and it's not the only time this has happened here.
I'm more projecting all the other times anons come with retarded takes and everyone trying to explain, for the 50th time in these threads (being hyperbolic), WHY it's not just a style to many and that there is an emotional component to it. And WHY someone might be mad about it. Because that's another disingenuous thing. Of course it's easy to stay calm and never show any emotion about the topic, when you have no horse in the race. So yeah, it feels kinda retarded that they always inevitably say "damn why you mad, I'm leaving". Then a couple months later, or maybe just a couple weeks and it happens all over again. Like fucking groundhogday. It gets a bit difficult to give any benefit of doubt and just assume these are genuine questions.
>She's trying to be critical about the categories we sort ourselves into
It's beating a dead horse at this point. It's discussed constantly in this thread alone, all over the internet, in so many books, on tv, straight people, everyone has some enlightened neutral "I don't need labels" take. At some point it doesn't come across any more like wanting genuine discussion, but more like concerntrolling or being really dense. If you say " maybe it's the feminist in me" and then go shit on masculine female gender expression, you definitely do imply you think it's straight up misogynistic.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 01:45:22 PM No. 285741

>>285739
samefagging to say I use a lot of general "you", not necessarily referring to "you" literally

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 01:49:24 PM No. 285746

>>285735
NTA but where did she elaborate what she meant? She logged off after that post assuming that she didn't return to elaborate. And the gist of the post was pretty much "femininity isn't venerated in the lesbian community, everyone is fluid, masculinity is button up shirts and pointed oxfords" completely missing the point anons were trying to make so they were explaining where they were coming from and why exactly this generates this an exasperated response but it seems to go straight in the "chillax lol" bin with no procession and full on deflection with an armchair analysis on how high on the mad-o-meter you're probably on, naturally for no good reason at all. Like >>285739 said it's extremely hard to believe these are sincere questions and wonderments when it has so many times in the past turned out to be a thinly veiled excuse to call GNC women gross, misogynistic, manlike and immature.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 01:52:52 PM No. 285749

>>285739
>Any time I try to set boundaries, it's always taken as evidence that I want to cheat, while we're just in the talking stage and aren't even dating, so it wouldn't even be cheating.
I'm a millenial in my 30's and this happens to me too, it's not just a zoomer thing. That anon just got lucky dating. U-hauling BPD-chans are a real thing to look out for. Generally I feel like it's impossible to court people on apps especially because dating apps attract desperate people who take desperate measures so they want to move as fast as possible or drop the entire thing without really getting to know each other for a safe amount of time.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 02:05:41 PM No. 285759

>>285746
Several of you or the same anon is reaching so much and just assuming shit. Last night anon you're pissed at here. The whole conversation started from the weeb shit cock sucking discourse that lasted a whole day. Then one anon said:
>I just wonder whether the weeb anons are like this nonna >>262813
and then I replied to her post talking about the post that post was responding too >>262727 That's where the pre-mtf term came from. If I even said that later down in the post but I guess you over looked that.

I didn't come up with that term I was replying to it. And the masculine and feminine terms was a very badly not even explained philosophical idea I believe in. I hate drag queens and feel equally off about drag kings for the same reason it wasn't a dig at you. It's funny how you say femme is the pinnacle of lesbian experience today when it felt like it was the opposite a decade or two before (not saying that for oppression points, just an observation. I'm not even femme).

Does that clear everything up for you?

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 02:08:38 PM No. 285760

>>285739
I understand where you're coming from. I feel the same frustration around these topics that keep coming back too, not like I'm unaffected. That anon came across as quite young to me so I think she really thought she had a super enlightened, new angle on this stuff to me but who knows. Sorry to hear about the dating scene at your age group btw, maybe in a few years your peers will chill the fuck out.

>>285746
>thinly veiled excuse to call GNC women gross, misogynistic, manlike and immature.
This is a jump imo.

>>285749
I spent several months going on multiple dates every single week and swiping on people until I reached my daily limit every single day. I did not get lucky in the sense that you may be thinking. I put in an intense amount of effort into finding people that display the right green flags and then spent my time trying out our compatibility IRL. I did nothing but invest in finding women that fits a very specific set of criteria.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 02:13:39 PM No. 285761

>>285760
I wasn't trying to sound enlightened just that I don't understand butch/femme or categories because I do whatever I want. It wasn't a humble brag I was just trying to say I probably would never be able to understand it.

My rambling last night upset you guys and I'm sorry I didn't think I was saying anything offensive just my observations that I wanted to flesh out with other lesbians. I don't think I was being misogynistic at all but I guess I should reread what I wrote.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 02:22:12 PM No. 285764

>>285761
I didn't take your posts as an attack tbh. I'm in a secure place with my masculinity/femininity though so I'm just not gonna treat a fellow lesbian expressing her own views on how these things come across to her as an assault on my identity lol. My gf is like you I think, whereas I had some formative experiences around being denied my GNC expression and that hurt but it's so far removed from my life now.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 02:30:57 PM No. 285769

>>285488
>when a lesbian hornyposts about a cartoon sexyman
>lesbian
>hornyposts
>man
It's all so tiresome

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 02:31:46 PM No. 285770

>>285764
Thanks nonnie you're sweet. Yeah, I can understand that. My mom encouraged me being a tomboy because she thought if a predator thought I was a boy I wouldn't be kidnapped lol. I guess I'm lucky for that.

Ohh also:
>Any woman can have internalized misogyny I would think the one's closest to >presenting to societies standards could be more toxic since they haven't had >to come face to face with how society perceives them going against the grain.
I was talking about feminine presenting women.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 02:49:25 PM No. 285776

>>285761
>I wasn't trying to sound enlightened just that I don't understand butch/femme or categories because I do whatever I want.
NTA, but you know that implies you think butches or femmes don't just do whatever they want? Maybe you didn't mean it that way though. They aren't prescriptive categories, but descriptive.

Also at some point when you're the majority, you don't use labels anymore. You don't see straight people actively calling themselves straight, because they are the norm. Which is why they get upset when lgb people talk about sexual orientation and do the whole "why do you need labels?" spiel too. They don't get it, because they are the norm. It's like saying that lesbian is a restrictive, prescriptive category, like how polilez treat it. Instead of something you just are and that happens to be a word that helps to describe what you are, which is useful to have, when you want to find others like you or information.

Besides a slight uptick around the 90's, the amount of butches has been at a steady decline since the 70's. Radfems introduced a feminine "neutral androgyny" uniform, which is based on the historical gender expression of middle class lesbians who hated the guts of working class butch-femme culture. So jeans, feminine tunic or blouse, long loose hair, no make-up. Many femmes joined radfems, because it was not much compromise, but butches were expected to go above and beyond, so generally were left behind and not allowed to come to meetings. So butch went into relative obscurity, transition shenanigans, media starts to finally portray lesbian relationships, but only femme4femme. Which stayed the standard until the 90's, when butch-femme made a slight comeback in the community at least. Shane and Max from the Lword basically embodies the position of masc women in the 2000's. The most masc you could be is Shane tier, or the pushing to transition would already start. This is how the goalposts also moved for what was considered masc and what was considered feminine or neutral. We're at a point what is considered "neutral" now, was very feminine just 30 years ago and what is considered masc, would've been considered neutral. So over several decades, the group who set the norm, became the norm, then decided labels weren't necessary anymore. Then wonder why those who are left behind just feel more erased.

Like it's easy to say labels like masculinity or femininity are fake, like sure. Everything is fake and a social construct, but that doesn't change that there are material consequences to these social constructs. If you are told your entire life you aren't feminine enough and there are consequences to not being feminine enough, real life consequences, then it's fucking real. Like these are words just used to communicate and while meaning changes over time, there's still a meaning to be understood and it's a lot easier to use them rather than have to type out an essay explaining everything. Of course you feel like you don't need words, when they don't affect your life and you personally don't need them. You used tomboy in this post >>285770 why? Why is that word okay, but someone else using "butch" isn't? You think describing things in masculine or feminine terms is useless and that it shouldn't be necessary, but here you use "tomboy". So obviously you do understand categories? You just only accept the categories you personally relate to, which is natural.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 03:05:28 PM No. 285783

>>285776
You keep ignoring certain points that I reply to you telling you I agree. Again I never used the term pre-trans I was just commenting on it from another post on lolcow. Butch/femme are perfect words to use. I just don't use them to describe myself. Why do you have such a hate boner for femmes? I'm not even femme. Being seen as societies little darling is only really beneficial when being in the closet. Femmes also have to deal with being pornified and lesbophobia. And does the gay community really fall all over themselves for what society deems ok? Maybe to a certain extent but we have our own hierarchies in the community that doesn't follow what mainstream media tells us what's it.

>I don't know what we're talking about anymore because I think being masculine is not a statement but just how someone is/wants to present?

Aren't we saying the same thing. Now it just seems like you want to be bitter and fight with randos online. Idk life sucks it really does and it seems to get worse and worse. I'm sad that I probably won't have sex for another couple of years and I'm only getting older. But what does getting angry and bitter do to change those things? Nothing. You got to cultivate your inner garden and enjoy what you can. Having a partner shouldn't be the end all be all of life it should be the the frosting on your cake. It enhances the flavor but it's not needed to enjoy the cake. Same with how society perceives us. You can't change peoples minds on how they see you or treat you. Have confidence in yourself and hope or else what's the point of living.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 03:17:45 PM No. 285784

>>285783
nta but you sound like a dumbass.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 03:22:04 PM No. 285785

>>285776
I agree with everything in your post but especially this
>So over several decades, the group who set the norm, became the norm, then decided labels weren't necessary anymore. Then wonder why those who are left behind just feel more erased.
Hits really hard, nonnie. Thanks for putting it all into words.

>>285783
>Why do you have such a hate boner for femmes?
God why do people always think talking about butch erasure is a personal attack against femmes? This is exactly why anons above feel like the questions aren't genuine.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 03:26:44 PM No. 285788

>>285783
You keep hammering on "pre-trans", when I don't think anyone has a problem with that point. The only time you mentioned it was during clarifications, when you didn't make any points, so idk why you think that is the thing people are upset about.
>Why do you have such a hate boner for femmes? I'm not even femme. Being seen as societies little darling is only really beneficial when being in the closet. Femmes also have to deal with being pornified and lesbophobia. And does the gay community really fall all over themselves for what society deems ok? Maybe to a certain extent but we have our own hierarchies in the community that doesn't follow what mainstream media tells us what's it.
I literally posted a long ass explanation that femmes became the majority and stopped calling themselves femmes, because they are the majority, just like all majorities stop labeling themselves. "Femme" doesn't just mean high femme ultra pink, lots of make-up etc. Femmes also sometimes wear tuxedoes or chinos with oxford shoes, while wearing their pencil skirts on other days. Talking about butch erasure doesn't mean I hate femmes. I'm just saying after femmes having the spotlight for decades, with both positive and negative consequences (not discounting that), can we maybe like, not be erased?
>And does the gay community really fall all over themselves for what society deems ok? Maybe to a certain extent but we have our own hierarchies in the community that doesn't follow what mainstream media tells us what's it.
Funny how butches are below at the hierarchy in the community though when it comes to gender expression, just like in straight society lol. Or do you really want to dispute that? Literally all sides of the gender debate hate the guts of butches. Yeah it's not just about mainstream media, I literally explained how society and developments within feminism affected this too and if you scroll up enough you can see the countless screenshots from studies and journals I posted ages ago.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 03:47:08 PM No. 285798

File: 1662479228503.jpg (868.59 KB, 2452x1158, 1652351536557.jpg)

>>285788
Samefagging to correct myself, screenshots were in previous thread(s), but here's an example of how this shit has been written to death about for 50 years and it's time to stop acting like "maybe butches are toxic" is a hot take which actually adds anything to the conversation whenever butches dare to be mentioned, if you yourself aren't butch and not up to date on the conversation. Like you're allowed to say it, but you're stuck in the past, we've moved on. Most people complaining about butches probably have never even met a butch and only know of stories from the fucking 50's. Butches have changed, you don't think that wouldn't happen after 50 years of "butches are man lite, toxic masculine, oppress femmes etc."? Try to find a butch who isn't a massive softie really.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 04:28:26 PM No. 285811

I need help nonnas. I went on two dates with two different girls recently. One girl is on paper a perfect match. She's masc and has the same hobbies and she's pretty based politically. The other is not at all what i thought I'd be into. She's an SJW artist with the most obnoxious opinions but she's so hot I'm so into her. I know logically I should pursue a relationship with the person I agree with more and is more stable but damn this pink haired crazy chick is so hot.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 04:33:29 PM No. 285812

>>285811
Fuck the pink one and get it out of your system and then get with the based masc.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 05:45:21 PM No. 285820

>>285641

You don’t hang around enough early 20s straight girls. They ALWAYS joke about fucking each other, or at the very least “marrying” their bff and being wives. That’s the whole point. That it’s a joke. They don’t mean it. It’s universally agreed that het girls can talk about fucking anime women all day, but if they only fuck men irl, it means the woman is straight. It’s the same with lesbians joking about anime men. You cannot compare lines on a screen to a real life man. Especially the anime man I posted about, who literally looks like a woman and was originally a woman.

I stg some lolcow lesbians are so autistic and ready to argue that they genuinely can’t tell the difference between a fauxbian that thirsts for irl cock vs a JOKE about blowing an anime man. Do you guys need tone indicators like the autistic Aidens? Would a silly little /j be enough to indicate a joke? /question /passive aggressive /teasing /negative (just in case people can’t read this one either)

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 06:00:37 PM No. 285821

>>285694

For her again. And before nonas get any ideas, no I haven't been pining after her for years. I had a nice long-term relationship that lasted a few years and we broke up on good terms after coming to terms with the fact that we wanted different things in life.

>>285713
I know it's not much coming from a random anon on an imageboard but I'm so sorry that happened to you and her

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 06:16:37 PM No. 285824

>>285820
Ok sweetie keep "joking" about blowing dudes. I'm sure everyone claps when you do that.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 06:20:19 PM No. 285825

>>285820
>They ALWAYS joke about fucking each other, or at the very least “marrying” their bff and being wives.
I swear straight women act more gay than lesbians oftentimes, kek. They don't have any inhibition making outrageous jokes and even doing gay shit as a joke, exactly because they're not attracted to women. They don't have any internalized shame and don't think it could ever possibly be taken seriously, because the whole idea of it is preposterous in their mind, so to them it's no big deal.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 06:52:40 PM No. 285829

>>285820
>They ALWAYS joke about fucking each other, or at the very least “marrying” their bff and being wives.
Sure but I've never heard of straight women joking about eating their girl friend's pussy or flicking their beans. It's when you make it sexual, specifically focusing on their genitalia, then that's what makes it gay, or in your case hetero.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 06:57:26 PM No. 285830

File: 1662490646439.jpg (12.89 KB, 266x266, 74bfTGrD_400x400.jpg)

>>285820
I've never heard of lesbians making jokes about uh… "sucking the skin off someone's cock", just like you don't hear straight girls making "jokes" about how they'd suck a girl's clit. If they do make jokes about sleeping with women, it's more vague and they don't actually sound like they're thirsting after a woman's genitalia.
It's not illegal to be bi, you know.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 07:07:06 PM No. 285831

>>285820
Just leave it be, there's no point in arguing with them because they want to act obtuse and dense about it.

>>285825
nta but almost all lesbians that I've met have testified that they feel uncomfortable just touching or even complimenting other women in fears of being seen as predatory for this reason alone. It's a real thing.

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 08:16:27 PM No. 285845

File: 1662495387115.jpeg (157.26 KB, 1019x1532, 8B485341-FCC6-4AF5-BD02-206C15…)

Can we stop talking about anime boy discourse and talk about lesbian stuff again?

Anonymous 09/06/22 (Tue) 08:35:25 PM No. 285849

>>285845
Sure. So with my gf I've been working more on technique with my mouth but I think sometimes she's impatient and doesn't let go. She wants to get off the same way every time and I wanna try new random ways. I'll have a conversation about that when she's off her period, for now I'll just use my hands anyway since I can't do the super iron-y flavor. Wish I could get into vampire mode. She's been talking about "arresting me" which is a delightfully vanilla idea of spice so I think I'll let her, even though she is physically weaker.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 12:09:32 AM No. 285888

Who watched adachi and shimura and found it relatable

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 05:49:47 AM No. 285948

File: 1662529787251.jpg (196.24 KB, 1111x803, gentlemanjackcancelled.jpg)

https://bringbackgentlemanjack.com/ butch bros, we gotta bring it back

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 09:17:42 AM No. 285980

nonnies im kinda bummed. my girlfriend is extremely sensitive to taste and textures so she doesn’t like eating pussy. this doesn’t bother me at all but she also doesn’t really like having her pussy eaten. i respect it but i also like eating pussy so much.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 11:49:37 AM No. 286003

>>285980
End it wtf. If it were mutual then whatever but hell no to zero oral just because she's autistic.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 01:57:23 PM No. 286027

>>285980
It'd be better if you end it. I can't handle oral for very personal reasons, and I wouldn't want to deprive someone who wanted to do that with me when I can't give it.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 02:21:04 PM No. 286034

>>286027
>>286003
we’ve been together for four years and we’re really happy so it’s not something i want to end the relationship over. i just wanted to quickly vent. i don’t really mind not doing it often but sometimes i really want to eat her out but i don’t ever want her to feel pressured by me or to let me do it out of obligation so i don’t tend to ask her if i can. besides from that we have really satisfying sex

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 02:34:47 PM No. 286039

>>286034
That makes sense. Personally I worry any partner I have won't be fulfilled since it's a huge boundary for me, so I'm likely just projecting.

Though I don't like the assumption that not wanting to be eaten out is just autism or insecurity (not something you said but it's a sentiment I've seen in the past when talking to other lesbians), it can be for a lot of lesbians, but it just gives me flashbacks to a past relationship and until I can afford to go back to therapy it's just something that won't be on the table for me.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 03:01:30 PM No. 286045

>>286039
Well, I called it autism because I've only ever seen aversion to perfectly normal things like eating pussy, citing texture and taste as reasons, from autistic women. If it was trauma or something she wouldn't be calling herself sensitive to taste and texture.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 05:06:50 PM No. 286144

File: 1662570410117.jpg (108.89 KB, 567x1080, e50d5088fc0a02879146e4446cb6dd…)

I need fashion tips from butch nonnies. I would like to wear more masc clothes but I have big hips and no tits. Sportwear don't work for me and baggy tops just cling to my hips and look weird. I'm a bit lost and I have short leg so I'm scared to look as dwarfed as pic related

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 05:27:12 PM No. 286163

Why is it such a controversial statement to say that it is not possible for a lesbian to feel, at any point in her life, attraction towards a male? Comphet is not real. I understand going on a date, or even kissing a dude. That immediately should make you go 'eww this is not for me'. But to go as a far as to have actual sex with him? No way. You had so much time to figure out this is not for you

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 05:30:00 PM No. 286168

>>286144
I wear t shirts or button ups tucked in to my fitted jeans and suspenders. Obv I wear doc martens as well because I’m that type of gay. Probably going to cut my hair short again. Guess I’d call myself more of a soft butch but I think suspenders look great on small chests.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 05:31:12 PM No. 286169

>>286144
Try skinny bottoms with a higher waist and baggy cropped tops? They would make your legs look longer. I have the same body shape and that's my go-to style.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 05:37:54 PM No. 286172

>>286144
Shorter tops, doesn't have to be crop but it should end before it hits your widest part. I like to buy men's shirts and cut them shorter. Can be baggy, you don't want to cinch the waist though if you're trying to present masc. You can tuck it in any way you like as well. Shorts should be slightly higher waist than the ones tall women wear, make sure the hem ends at the skinnier part of your thigh, past the thick fleshy bit so you conceal a but of your softness. Skinny bottoms + baggy crop top can also work as other anon said but it will read as feminine on a curvy frame, imo the top should be long if you're gonna combine it with something like tight bike shorts.

Anonymous 09/07/22 (Wed) 07:17:01 PM No. 286209

>>286144
Fitted shorter top with slightly longer open shirt, jacket or whatever helps me with concealing hips a bit and dealing with the whole fabric clinging in the wrong places situation. I'm not exactly an expert though, I probably look like a fashion disaster.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 02:48:35 AM No. 286316

>>286163
why is this repressed bishit bringing up males

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 03:00:57 AM No. 286322

my best friend (15+ years) has gone down the gender rabbit hole and is now in a throuple with this other gayden who doesn't pass and this bisexual twink. shes on t injections and will probably get top soon. i need to cut contact but this is breaking my heart. i used to love her in high school. today is my 22nd birthday and she wont stop calling me and im just letting it ring. idk shes been fucking w me subtly for so long and i need to move on but it hurts. i dont know what to do with the memories i have. i know her phone number by heart and her birthday by heart and the secrets she told me when we were 10 years old. what am i going to do with all these things?

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 09:56:51 AM No. 286403

File: 1662631011484.jpeg (257.76 KB, 950x2000, 097L16230_8VK76.jpg.webrend.12…)

>>286168
>>286169
>>286172
>>286209

thanks you so much nonnies, so much suggestions! The double layering is clever, will look up what I already have and think it trought. I have like this body shape with hips which start high so it's a bit difficult to dress without sinching my waist.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 12:21:57 PM No. 286423

>>286403
You're not gonna make it as a masc if you're this interested in fertility goddess humblebragging.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 12:42:06 PM No. 286429

>>286423
lmao nonna, I meant I have the same weird top heavy hip. I know I'm never gonna look like a fit masculine butch lesbian but I would like to be able to wear more practical outfits without looking like an absolute potato.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 12:49:06 PM No. 286433

>>286429
Tbh most butches aren't like the ones you see on instagram. A lot of masc presenting women actually have lush figures like you.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 02:49:11 PM No. 286465

I hate radfems. Currently watching women I used to follow who started off with reasonable gender critical takes going full 'gays are groomers!' tradthots. Wondering if we're better off with trannies since at the very least they won't criminalize homosexuality. We might not be allowed to talk about homosexuality or call ourselves homosexuals but at least I'd legally be allowed to cohabitate with a fellow Person of Vulva.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 02:51:38 PM No. 286466

>>286465
theyre obviously talking about gay men

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 02:54:42 PM No. 286469

>>286466
No she specifically mentioned lesbians and bisexuals as well. Full anti-LGBT conservatard.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 04:09:03 PM No. 286488

>>286466
And radfems obviously would never target lesbians and call us predatory or male-aligned

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 04:20:08 PM No. 286490

>>286465
Yeah this is why the "gay– I mean gay MEN are pedos and rapists" is a slippery slope, it's never about gay men only. You constantly see "GCs" calling butches male aligned and it's obvious their anti-tranny stance is only because they hate all gender-nonconformity often associated with non-straight people so there's no trusting them, ever.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 04:35:01 PM No. 286492

>>286490
>Yeah this is why the "gay– I mean gay MEN are pedos and rapists" is a slippery slope, it's never about gay men only.
Right. I also hate the degeneracy of gay men and hate fag hags who cape for them but it's so transparently homophobic. They bash gay men for everything and give their Nigels a pass. Did you know that the surrogacy industry was invented by and is exclusively used by gay men? Definitely no het couple and CERTAINLY no good Christian het couple has ever exploited a pregnant woman for a baby. Magdalene Laundry? Not even gonna google that, sounds like some pedo's drag name #groomer.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 04:41:45 PM No. 286499

>>286469
does she hate troons or is she actually rad fem because there's a difference

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 04:51:39 PM No. 286505

>>286499
NTA but that distinction does not matter with the topic at hand. The radfem community is full of homophobes and it shows in their policing of what language lesbians can use to describe our experiences or what sex acts we are allowed to perform. Some go further and become full on trad in some spectacular retard mental maneuver but even without that last stretch, plenty of radfems harbor seriously fucked up views on sex. Their hero Dworkin is a testament to their brain capacity. Their whole thing is identifying with trauma and building their life around it.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 04:55:04 PM No. 286509

>>286505
i think majority of those people dont read theory or agree with the tenets of radical feminism, they just associate radfem with TERF and take on the label because they despise trannies

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 04:56:17 PM No. 286510

you cant be conservative and radfem that makes no sense

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 05:00:53 PM No. 286513

>>286510
Of course the ideology does not make sense when you listen to their actual politics but it's impossible to get someone to drop their ideological label, much like gender labels.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 05:48:23 PM No. 286524

>>286509
I'm stoned and cranky so maybe I'm just being too negative but sometimes it feels like radical feminism at it's core is incompatible with lesbianism. Like idk radical feminism is supposed to be a class-based movement that advocates for women's interests as a broad class instead of focusing on individual rights, right? And as a class, at least 95% of women are heterosexual. Even among same-sex attracted women, exclusively homosexual women are an even smaller minority, we probably make up 1% of the population at maximum. We don't actually matter in the grand scheme of female liberation you know? Heterosexual women have no real material reason to advocate for us (unless they happen to have a homosexual friend/family member that they love) and scapegoating the entire LGB as groomers alongside the TQ is the easiest way to end the AGP bullshit.

And this has been a pattern in radical feminism. 2nd wave was full of homophobia, half the 'lesbian activists' of the 2nd wave were polilezzes who redefined 'lesbian' to mean 'platonic female solidarity' and ousted all the icky vagina fetishists. And even the political lesbians were rejected by mainstream feminists as a dangerously radical 'lavender menace'.

Idk I just feel like due to the fact that we're such a tiny minority, any class-based women's movement will end up being a 'let's negotiate a better patriarchal bargain with Nigel and scapegoat all those Nigel-less freaks' movement.

And for the record I'm definitely not trying to say that liberal 'choke on my girlcock' feminism is better for lesbians. It's just frustrating. And it's getting on my nerves today specifically because radfems will use us when convenient to point out how gross AGPs are, but have 0 interest in preserving LGB rights or making a distinction between normie homosexuals and groomer freaks.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 07:01:33 PM No. 286537

File: 1662663693276.jpg (744.53 KB, 889x1795, anon says hoodies are for tran…)

>>286524
I think about this a lot while spending time on lolcow. Check out this hot take that dropped today, subtly accusing lesbians of being pedos and GNC lesbian hate in the same post. Imagine seething this hard about something so ridiculously inoffensive.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 07:22:18 PM No. 286538

>>286537
This is just some random stupid anon, for me the true real radical feminists will always be lesbians.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 07:51:17 PM No. 286542

>>286537
>if you prefer sports bras you're a pedo troon
>why are so many young women trooning out???????????
I've seen takes like this on Ovarit and Rad Twitter too and it's retarded.
>I told my dysphoric childfree daughter that she can't feed my grandbabies without breasts and now she wants top surgery even more!!! Ban Discord!!1!

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 08:40:11 PM No. 286549

>>286537
what the fuck, not to blogpost but this is literally how i was at that age (still am like tbis tbh) only much less edgy and retarded, and i'm sure this character is relatable for lots of other gnc-of-center girls. what exactly is the problem here, a young girl wanting to wear comfy, unfussy clothes in her free time?

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 08:42:50 PM No. 286551

>>286549
samefag, the character is much less edgy than i was and seems like a pretty decent representation of gnc teenaged girls

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 08:42:58 PM No. 286552

>>286537
This is just cringe to me. I'm bisexual but I have an androgynous appearance and tend to dress ambiguously as a fashion choice, I like duality motifs too.
I also dress in bright-coloured j-fash that may be associated with trannies, and yet, I am not one. It's interesting how some people are letting troons steal motifs/colours/themes from under their noses, accusing other women who wear these new so-called problematic fashion styles/colourways of being troons themselves without even deigning to inquire further, just making an instant judgment on the individual.
I suppose I should go back to wearing all black basic bitch gear just to appease those in my periphery.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 09:02:05 PM No. 286558

>>286552
>I'm bisexual
no1curr
>>286537
This kinda post is always so unhinged, I tend to assume it's bait.

Anyway yes some people are reactionaries, yes even! lesbians! So ofc there are trads who think they're being left/radfem. It's pathetic but real.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 09:19:38 PM No. 286564

>>286542
>I told my dysphoric childfree daughter that she can't feed my grandbabies without breasts and now she wants top surgery even more!!! Ban Discord!!1!
It's sad because this is almost verbatim how many of the "GC" tradfucks are. The whole "how could you not like being a woman since we're capable of creating life!!! you can be a mommy you know!!!" spiel since for them gender dysphoria can only be cured by "embracing femininity".

>>286549
I don't even understand what that anon's problem is because those clothes are so neutral and focused on practicality and comfort that it almost sounds like some tranny scalding about a woman wasting her femininity. It's exactly what was discussed upthread a few days ago, it's never only about the grey area masculinity stuff but all non-femme things in general.

Anonymous 09/08/22 (Thu) 10:17:02 PM No. 286572

>>286524
Intersectionality was originally introduced due to lesbophobia, classism and racism issues within radical feminism. Later it got coopted and now intersectionality has a bad rep and is seen as automatically wanting to be inclusive of TiMs. But radical feminism without any intersectionality is just trickle down liberation. You have to trust and believe that your average straight middle class woman will totally not turn on you and will totally fulfill her promise to eventually get to your issues when they have been liberated, after you've supported the movement unquestionably, while getting nothing for it.
>we probably make up 1% of the population at maximum. We don't actually matter in the grand scheme of female liberation you know? Heterosexual women have no real material reason to advocate for us (unless they happen to have a homosexual friend/family member that they love) and scapegoating the entire LGB as groomers alongside the TQ is the easiest way to end the AGP bullshit.
And if you try to advocate for yourself or with other lgb people, you're seen as problematic. There is this expectation that you only stick with radical feminism and you only fight for the issues they say is okay, but yeah it does indeed always boil down to 'let's negotiate a better patriarchal bargain with Nigel and scapegoat all those Nigel-less freaks'. I don't even feel like modern "radfems" try to get a better patriarchal bargain. Working with the people who want to introduce Handmaid's Tale conditions, because they MIGHT own the troons, is a dangerous gamble. It also feels retarded that they'll have enough excuses as to why you should just look past all that, but will think you're literally satan for donating to an abortion clinic which has some gender neutral language shit going on, probably to avoid getting cancelled while just doing their fucking job. Like I don't even feel like they care about shit which does affect straight women a lot. It's just everything has to be sacrificed to own the troons, including abortion rights and access. And how the fuck am I supposed to feel that they hate lesbians more than your average Christofascist scrote politician?

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 01:43:47 AM No. 286607

>>286492
this is my biggest issue. when straight women call out everything to do with gay men but give straight men a pass. by all means hold them to the same standards but when you single out gay men i know that the lesbophobic hot takes are not far away

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 03:17:00 AM No. 286624

>>286537
this is such an anime design considering she's japanese going to a japanese school but has many ear piercings, a tattoo her parents would flip out at, and the black nails possibly. not sure if true but asianboss has even done a video on required undergarments students wear which is definitely creepy and pedo territory from underwear checks. it is weird af to think comfy popular clothes are nb to tits off womanchild though.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 06:40:26 AM No. 286645

>>286624
First of all the design is clearly showing that she removes her piercings and nail polish at school and hides the tattoo and secondly the outside of school outfit is nothing outrageous or "anime". Do you think Japanese schoolgirls are all brainless conformists with no life outside of school?

And even if it was "such an anime design" the problem that anon had was sports bra and practical clothes being a "weird nb to troon pipeline". I don't know why you're going on a weird ass tangent about asianboss's school undergarment check videos when it has nothing to do with the issue at hand here. I know anons here have a hateboner for all anime but good god contain your sperg.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 06:50:42 AM No. 286646

>>286645
>the problem that anon had was sports bra and practical clothes being a "weird nb to troon pipeline"
Reminds me of Twitter gc moms being very proud that they punished their daughters for wanting shorter hair, because they assume it's a slippery slope to transitioning.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 07:15:36 AM No. 286649

File: 1662707735972.jpeg (751.78 KB, 664x1133, 7CA47CD8-B334-446B-96A8-286CC8…)

Almost verbatim what you guys are talking about. What a coincidence and this was written in the 80s

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 07:22:34 AM No. 286651

>>286649
It leaves my jaw hanging to realize that this was written 40 years ago and it could've just as well be written on lolcow dot farm 20 minutes ago. Straight women are not our allies automatically just because we're both women, they could sell us out for Nigel if it became convenient. I see my straight friends bend a knee to men all the time simply because they don't want to lose their appeal to them. That doesn't mean we couldn't or shouldn't work together with them for a better future for women, it just means that we need to lay down ground rules and not give up our entire being just because they can't be expected to get over their homophobia and prejudices.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 07:54:09 AM No. 286658

>>286651
Yeah I was really excited to read her other books but then it turned out she was a straightbian I guess a broken clock can be right. I found this blog spot http://dirtywhiteboi67.blogspot.com/2016/08/unstraightening-lesbian-removing.html?m=1 I don’t know how truthful it is but seems most authors are straightbians. Where am I going to learn our sex/ dichotomy/ history if all these books are written by straight people.

Also watched the miseducation of Cameron blah today it was bittersweet but a good movie imo.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 08:03:13 AM No. 286659

>>286649
The lesbian community never recovered from this, so many lesbian bars, cafés and events shut down even before the troon menace and everyone is still expected to act like they're asexual. The biggest offense is that most lesbian history pre 70's is ignored, completely dismissed as regressive or downright denied the existence of. Assuming every little thing which was present in lesbian culture before it was whitewashed for straight women, came from men and is "male-aligned". Even when there's more than enough circumstantial evidence and historical precedence to suggest other wise or a more complicated story at least.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 11:32:10 AM No. 286688

Speaking of lesbian history, does anyone know if there are good books about lesbians (in the military) during/directly after ww2?

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 11:32:23 AM No. 286689

>>286658
Gonna be honest but that entire blog site legitimately reads like schizophrenic ramblings, I can't even make out anything being said.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 12:46:33 PM No. 286703

>>286689
I'm not gonna go through the whole blog but that one post makes sense. There are fauxbians all over the place and they're writing books and articles and all sorts of "resources" that then completely twist people's minds. Young people and late bloomers rely on this kind of literature to make sense of their lives when they don't have good gay support networks IRL so exposing hets and bis larping is good for the community. So, which part is hard to make out?

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 03:39:54 PM No. 286748

File: 1662737994501.jpg (36.14 KB, 563x599, 1651265739409.jpg)

Today I awoke from a dream with tears running down my face because I was looking and waiting for that woman to talk to me again. I'm that ldr anon who went to visit her and cried in the hotel room. I thought I'd be better from now but I'm thinking of getting therapy for this because I feel so betrayed and hurt. She has never contacted me since that day. I know she doesn't love me, but I need to be ok with that. I'm thinking therapy can help me. I'm also looking forward to getting a new job and moving to a new city so I'm looking forward to that so I can focus on my career. I don't want to be sad anymore and lethargic. I don't think I want to date anyone though for a long time after this and I'm trying really hard for me not to become jaded and to not let this stop my ability to trust and to love. I hope everyone has a good day.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 05:59:10 PM No. 286788

>>286703
Wasn't the whole fucking comphet masterdoc written by a bi woman?

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 10:32:51 PM No. 286858

>>286748
I was actually going to ask how you've been a couple of days ago. I hope you do get help because the betrayal and how long the relationship was must be really devastating. If you can't find a therapist asap I recommend Alan Robarge on youtube he really helped me with my self hate etc being gay and choosing bad partners (he's gay and speaks from experience). Good luck and I hope you feel better.

Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri) 11:38:20 PM No. 286876

File: 1662766700687.jpg (8.95 KB, 250x216, 1513556803718.jpg)

>>286858
Thank you so much. I really do appreciate it that you were thinking of me. You are right, I am completely devastated but the only day I could cry privately was in the hotel room so I've been going out to walk more. I think I need to cry more in private but I'm just focusing on working. Luckily, I'm on the waitlist already for a therapist, but everything helps. I'll watch the videos soon.

It's hard to be here without having her precense around. I think I realized as well how much I was always reaching out and how invested I was more than her. But I want to get better and be happy again.

Anonymous 09/10/22 (Sat) 12:10:04 AM No. 286881

>>286876
I know how you feel anon I had to move back home and in the past growing up in the closet when all my relationships ended or we were fighting I always had to act cheerful like nothing was going on in my life because I'm not out to my religious parents. It's a horrible and stunting feeling not being able to express yourself or let it out at home.

I recently broke up with my ex and it's been 1 month of no contact and the gauze is slowly clearing from my eyes seeing what was wrong with the relationship and how this is for the best. I hope you can have that clarity soon too.

Anonymous 09/10/22 (Sat) 12:27:48 AM No. 286885

File: 1662769668773.jpg (19.35 KB, 512x384, 1654811494444.jpg)

>>286881
Having religious parents with everything going on sounds tough. My parents are catholic and even though I'm not in the closet I still can't cry properly because my family is very emotionally unavailable and the fact that I have younger siblings is also a factor since I don't want to alarm them.

Even though I am seeing everything wrong I still have this hope that she will somehow make it all better. I hate that I think this and even use tarot readings to comfort me on it even though I know the truth. Yesterday I did have the epiphany of needing to get over her. I tell myself she was just using me, it was all online and she never wanted to act upon her promises or she didn't see the relationship as real. I tell myself all those things so I can move on, but as I said tonight I had a dream waking up crying. This is all hard on me but I am currently in a state of limbo in other aspects of my life and have a good amount of free time to myself that I'd like to change it into positive events for myself.

Anonymous 09/10/22 (Sat) 01:44:54 AM No. 286900

any novel recs that feature sex/romance between women (even ambiguously) but arent specifically about female homosexuality?

no fantasy or science fiction

Anonymous 09/10/22 (Sat) 01:56:51 AM No. 286902

>>286564
years ago i would stalk the reddit profile of this insane stay-at-home mom w a 14 yo butch daughter. she posted on /r/gendercritical almost constantly, complaining less about her daughter's gender bullshit and more about her homosexuality, how she decorated her room black/blue, how she played football, how she behaved and dressed masculine, how she skateboarded w boys her age after school, etc. disgusted me so much and reminded me of my own mother's criticisms. i think a lot of moms are so ashamed of their butch girls and it leads a lot of us to believe we'd be better sons.

gendies suck and all but the women who have co-opted radical feminism really arent much better. in its purest form i think radfem is pro-lesbian but lets be honest those ideals will never be achieved as long as most of the female population is male-partnered. and i have no interest in changing that status quo because what a retarded idea. i just want to get married and saunter off into rural america with my mrs anon.

Anonymous 09/10/22 (Sat) 04:52:16 AM No. 286919

>>286902
I don't understand why they think that butches will finally start be more gender conforming after getting enough shit for it, instead of just being made to feel like women aren't allowed to be masculine, 'so I can't be a woman'. My grandma has much better takes on gender nonconformity, than the generation of women after her, because she still remembers not being allowed to enter class because she was wearing trousers. Which is why she literally has no education. Or how even straight people used to go to clubs and bars to watch women perform on stage while crossdressing. She saw that regularly while working as a waitress, even at very well respected establishments. You weren't cool unless you had at least one woman regularly performing while wearing a tuxedo and tophat. It feels like we've gone backwards. How come my grandma thinks I'm cool, but both TRA's and "gc"'ers think gnc women are backwards and dangerous? Representation matters. When do gnc women get to be cool anymore? Also some people need to touch grass and open a history book. Without gnc women being so "cringe and embarrassing", no woman or girl would be allowed to wear trousers today.

Anonymous 09/10/22 (Sat) 03:19:13 PM No. 286995

File: 1662823153165.jpeg (67.87 KB, 722x349, 1519065026327.jpeg)

GOD I FUCKING HATE THE HER APP!!! IF ONE MORE TROON OR NEOPRONOUN TARD SHOWS UP ON MY SCREEN I AM GOING TO LOSE IT

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 02:35:43 AM No. 287166

finished solstice by joyce carol oates…. recommended for the anons here if u like stories about obsessive love

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 08:20:56 AM No. 287228

File: 1662884456757.jpeg (52.75 KB, 600x678, 33DF2C1D-134B-467E-911B-ECB8C9…)

I’m catching feelings for my best friend of many many years… I don’t know what happened nonas. Shes a goooorgeous woman but i swear I had never looked at her that way until recently… Maybe cause when I met her I was in a very committed relationship and almost married my ex gf. So I obviously never saw my friend as anything but that. Plus she’s bisexual but has only dated man so I also kinda doubted she had much attraction towards women. Ive met the type so. But these past year she only talks about girl crushes and cute girls she meets in her groups and stuff. Shes really insisting that she wants to date a woman and tbh I still didnt take it very seriously. I thought she was just curious but she was going to get over it and date men again tbh. And I don’t know what the fuck happened this past month but I’ve been having dreams that we are dating and for the first time EVER I’m like daydreaming that we could be a really cute couple… And its so fucking stupid cause she is way out of my league in terms of looks and smarts and everything. but I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s getting to the point where it’s overwhelming and i feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t say something soon. But I can’t I don’t wanna mess up our friendship and plus I already know she’s not into me and I’m a fucking 2 and she’s a 100000.

It’s so painful and stupid. Nonas do you think this might some witchcraft or some shit. Like I swear to God this started from one day to the other its so strange and fucking retarded and i hate my gay ass

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 12:41:50 PM No. 287270

>>286995
Best thing for lesbian dating in current year is Meet Up (the site) groups that have to have members approved, so GC lesbian meet up groups exist.

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 04:41:41 PM No. 287302

>>287228
repress

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 04:46:35 PM No. 287304

>>286876
she had no presence she was never a real part of your life

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 04:52:16 PM No. 287305

>>287304
I am trying to come to grips with that but I physically tried to include her in my life with gifts and calls and I even included her with movies and etc. I know thinking like that will help me move on, the heartbreak feels so real though.

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 07:50:40 PM No. 287328

>>287305
It's strange to me how you were in an online LDR of 7 years without ever meeting each other. Did you ever video call? If you meet someone online and become official, you either have to make plans right away to meet or become official after you meet. Not trying to blame you but when I was in an LDR of a partner I had met online, I had been dying to meet her right away as soon as we got into a relationship and started videocalling so I just can't comprehend how you two put it off for so long. There's this common perception that online relationships "feel less real" and maybe your ex believed that too, that you were just an accessory to her.

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 08:34:35 PM No. 287338

>>287328
We video called and we also did phone calls.

I didnt put it off for long, during the first year we both tried to meet but she has issues with controlling family members and during that time she listened to them. We initially only dated because we both met when we were both attempting to get into the same school. We both got accepted but her parents refused to let her go to school due to "money" issues and soon after she kept saying she couldn't see me because of her family. I was the one that talked to her about visiting her but she kept saying she had no money or etc. But recently when I went to see her I guess I saw that those were just excuses and that yeah, she only liked the attention I gave her and she used it like a crutch because she was lonely or something. Now that she has money and coworkers she just stopped talking to me. I hope to move on from these feelings soon.

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 11:19:34 PM No. 287365

>>287338
Nonnie you don't need to explain yourself to this unempathic anon. There's been some bitter zoomers in here this past month and I think that anons one of them. She/he is just rude, what does her comments help or bring to the table other then just lightly jabbing you? I was in a ldr for 4 years and my ex came from a extremely traditional asian family I let it be an excuse until I started crushing really hard on this chick in real life and realized that she didn't really have any plans to move our relationship forward (dated at 18 , visited her at 21 and broke up at 23). I'm glad I had the courage to break up then because I probably would have let it continue if I had not seen a glimpse of what a real life relationship could be like.

People on this board have been petulant and belligerent for no fucking reason. It's like they're mad at life and taking their hostility out on the one place they can be heard and understood. It doesn't make sense. I'm sorry you're not getting the safe space to heal that you deserve.

Also be sure to spend several years if you can healing and trying to learn from this relationship. After I broke up with my ldr I decided to uhaul with a bpd bisexual and though I'm thankful for the growth I've made as a human it was one of the worst mistakes of my life.

Anonymous 09/11/22 (Sun) 11:20:37 PM No. 287367

>>287166
Joyce Carol Oates was straight.

Anonymous 09/12/22 (Mon) 02:48:20 AM No. 287406

>>287338
Ayrt, the other anon is right and I was being snarky and inconsiderate. Sorry.

It sounds like you've put more effort into the relationship than what she gave. I hope with time you will see the relationship for what it truly is, see her for what she truly is, and recognize your worth. I'm sure you have so much love to give and you will find someone someday who will match the same level of affection you can give them. In the grand scheme of things, this will just be a tiny blimp in your life. Do you feel like you've missed the relationship more than you missed her? Or that you were just in love with the relationship rather than in love with the person? Once you start separating these feelings, then it will be easier to move on.

Anonymous 09/12/22 (Mon) 06:09:11 AM No. 287438

>>287406
ntayrt that was very kind of you nonnie. Your apology and kindness put a smile on my face and warmed my heart a little.

Anonymous 09/12/22 (Mon) 01:45:47 PM No. 287485

File: 1662990347266.jpeg (37.75 KB, 564x542, 1636910198205.jpeg)

Let's play a game of "am I seeing red flags or have I been hurt so many times that I interpret any shift in enthusiasm and behavior as incoming rejection" once again
Please let it be just my paranoia giving me bad thoughts, I'm in too deep with feelings now to be hurt like this

Anonymous 09/12/22 (Mon) 11:25:26 PM No. 287593

>>287365

I'm sorry you went through that anon. Yes, I am taking my time to heal. I am not a person who dates for just 'fun' I am really just looking for long term relationships and commitment which makes it harder in my area to date anyways. I'm concerned about my age, my virginity, and the fact that my lesbian dating pool is so small.
I would never admit this irl but I don't want to date bisexual women and I also want to date a virgin just like me because I'm really concerned that I am no good or they'd think ' wow you're so old and you don't have any experience?'. I think the reason why I haven't had any experience is because I didn't have any sexual awakening until I was 25 when I realized the reason I fell in love with this ldr. I was very happy finding out who I was and what I liked.
Thank you for your encouragement and also thank you for your input.
Have you found luck in the future in your current relationships since then?
>>287406
Thank you for your apology and for your input. I really thank you because I am extremely hurt about this and I try to distract myself with planning new things and job applications. I want to see in myself that I have a lot to offer. I feel like I miss both right now, but only time will tell if I still feel this way..

Anonymous 09/13/22 (Tue) 02:36:24 AM No. 287605

>>287367
when did i say otherwise lol

Anonymous 09/13/22 (Tue) 02:37:24 AM No. 287606

>>287485
i am only 22, but ive been humiliated and rejected so many times that i am losing my desire to connect with people.

Anonymous 09/13/22 (Tue) 12:49:08 PM No. 287694

File: 1663073348680.jpeg (51.43 KB, 500x348, 83557178-DCE6-4CD2-9DFC-B616ED…)

I’m still sad I broke up with my gf, she was absolutely gorgeous. Probably already moaned about her in a lesbian thread, but she never made time to see me and is an aiden of the worst kind. Always wore effeminate clothing and would wear wigs and makeup but still wanted to be called they/them/he/him while also being an obvious misogynist. She’s the prettiest girl I ever dated why did she have to be so retarded, why did I let her walk all over me for 5 months whyyyyyyyyy

Anonymous 09/13/22 (Tue) 12:53:18 PM No. 287696

File: 1663073598201.jpg (45.91 KB, 700x506, my-inner-monologue.jpg)

Been doing so well with my gf and the few based lesbians I know IRL lately. Got a cozy little thing going that took an immense amount of effort to cultivate which I can't help but feel proud of. It's really nice being able to talk about my life with people who are relatively well adjusted and also be able to support them too. There's been a lot of changes in my life and I've relied so heavily on these connections to make it through… Just wanted to send out some good vibes to all the based lesbians out there.

Anonymous 09/13/22 (Tue) 08:41:58 PM No. 287782

>>287694
in same exact situation

told this BEAUTIFUL half cuban/half jewish girl to fuck off and stop contacting me a month ago. i dont regret this, but she creeps into my mind all the time.

sometimes i drive past our old apartment, where she still lives. and im like. are you in there? are you watching real housewives of miami? vaping and crying from another UTI?

or in my life i will see restaurants she would like, or things happen that she would find funny. and i feel a bit sad. good riddance of course, but it's so sad. she drove me crazy in the worst and best ways.

Anonymous 09/13/22 (Tue) 09:59:50 PM No. 287795

Does anyone here have successful relationship stories they want to share? I'm just in need of hope in lesbian relationships.

By the way, does giving space in a relationship really work?

Anonymous 09/13/22 (Tue) 10:29:25 PM No. 287803

>>287782
Why did you break up with her?

Anonymous 09/14/22 (Wed) 03:56:31 AM No. 287856

>>287795
>does giving space in a relationship really work?
Setting boundaries and being able to have some me-time is important. Especially since some couples try to merge or live in a bubble together. Giving each other space doesn't automatically mean breaking up. If anything, not giving any space out of trust issues and paranoia, can be quite harmful. You just got to communicate about it on time and set the definition of what "space" means for them, how long they need etc., if they request it and not immediately jumping to conclusions about ulterior motives.

Anonymous 09/14/22 (Wed) 09:39:58 AM No. 288005

Girl I was dating and with whom I spent such an amazing time, that gave me hope for a beautiful love story, unexpectedly and suddenly broke up with me, after all the plans we made, all the deep talks. I feel paralyzed from the pain. I've always had bad luck in love, and for the very first time I felt like I found someone good for me. It was all green flags, and then… Just as I expected it the least… Bam. I can't move, I keep crying, and don't even dare of looking at my phone gallery. I never got this far with a woman before, never felt so secure and wanted. How am I supposed to trust anyone again, if such a dream can turn into a nightmare in the span of a night, without anything to preannounce it? I'm in my late 20s with no long term relationship experience, and I don't have any hope for it. All that physical affection just made me crave for more, only for it to be taken away from me like that. This pain is excruciating.

Anonymous 09/14/22 (Wed) 07:32:01 PM No. 288155

There's a womens speed dating event happening in my town tomorrow, the scene here is tiny and I don't know anyone. Would it be awkward to go alone? I'm kind of an autist when it comes to social interaction and being around people I don't know. I'm also afraid I'll be the oldest there as I'm in my mid 20s. I told myself I'll start 'putting myself out there' but actually doing it is scary.

Anonymous 09/14/22 (Wed) 08:43:23 PM No. 288188

>>288155
The point of speed dating is to meet people you don't know. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.

Anonymous 09/15/22 (Thu) 05:53:57 AM No. 288271

Isn't our threadpic from that old trend where the man would dress up in the woman's clothes and vice versa? Similar to people using optical illusions to look headless, and other photo fads? It's been bothering me every time this thread comes up in the catalog, I know I saw that particular image in a post about it. They get added to a lot of those tumblr photosets about gay couples too.

Anonymous 09/15/22 (Thu) 08:28:08 AM No. 288286

File: 1663230488258.png (534.83 KB, 1749x955, bruh.png)

>>288271
Just one google lens search away from the answer…

Anonymous 09/15/22 (Thu) 09:14:16 AM No. 288289

>>288286
Silly nonna, this is obviously a heterosexual couple
>Vivien and Barney’s partnership was creatively bountiful and romantically tumultuous. They soon uncovered a deeply felt and shared appreciation of Sappho, the 6th-century lyric poet from Mytilene on the island of Lesbos, Greece, whose poems exist in mostly fragmentary form – much of it recovered on strips of papyrus during excavations in Egypt or else quoted by other authors. Approximately just 650 lines of Sappho’s work are extant today. Vivien and Barney both learnt ancient Greek to read her writing, which describes love, sensuality, longing and heartbreak between women without the prejudice that came to exist some millennia after she wrote. Vivien was the more committed student and, during what Tama Lea Engelking has coined her ‘prolific Sapphic phase’, produced the first ‘explicitly lesbian translation of Sappho’s poetry’ (Mendès-Leite). In 1903 its first edition was published. It features Sappho’s original Greek verses alongside Vivien’s direct translations and unique versification in French; its cover features a custom illustration by Symbolist and Art Nouveau artist Lucien Levy-Dhurmer.
The straightest couple that ever straighted with fancy photo tricks.

Anonymous 09/15/22 (Thu) 12:17:58 PM No. 288301

>>288289
Barnie was a woman?

Anonymous 09/15/22 (Thu) 12:32:28 PM No. 288306

>>288301
Are you allergic to googling or something? Of course Natalie Clifford Barney was a woman.

Anonymous 09/15/22 (Thu) 06:24:13 PM No. 288355

>>288301
>Her first book, Some Portrait-Sonnets of Women was published in 1900. It was a collection of poems about the love of women, which made Natalie the first woman to openly write about the love between woman since Sappho, an ancient Greek poet from the island of Lesbos.
>With this type of openness came scandal. That was fine with her, as she considered scandal the best way to get rid of ‘nuisances,’ as she called unwanted male attention. Natalie openly supported feminism, pacifism, and opposed monogamy, having many overlapping affairs of varying lengths.
yes and she was pretty based

Anonymous 09/16/22 (Fri) 08:09:38 PM No. 288638

Warning for blog but I met a girl who's absolutely gorgeous - a hundred percent my type in regards of looks and personality, we share the same hobbies, interests and have a similar wavelength overall. I've been getting closer to her and growing more intense feelings to the point I feel like my heart stops and my body gets tense whenever I meet her face to face. The problem is that she's straight and very insistent about it and also a dedicated TRA. I feel bad that she probably thinks that I'm just being a great friend and an interesting person but actually I'm just wishing she was into women so I could ask her out and see if we have chance of working out but if you're straight then you're straight - I'm not going to be one of those people trying to live with the "everyone's a bit bi" cope. This has happened to me so many times, I meet a woman, develop a crush but have my feelings go to waste once she introduces her boyfriend to me down the road to the point I'm almost used to never having my feelings reciprocated. Oh well.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 01:02:45 PM No. 288733

I missed you guys. On the weekend I went to the fall exhibition and there was a butch in a cowboy hat and I had nobody to gush about it with. She was wearing a cowboy hat nonnas.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 02:00:09 PM No. 288747

>>288733
This has solidified my desire to get cowboy costumes with my gf for halloween. I usually wear the same costume every year but this time I wanna make more of an effort since it's my gf's favorite holiday.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 02:29:14 PM No. 288749

I'm ldr anon. I'm at the lowest point I felt in a very long time. This is even worse than how I felt when I went to visit her and she stood me up. She came clean. She cheated on me. She drunkenly made out with a friend on her couch and she told me it wasn't a big deal…but she didn't talk to me since July. She stopped talking to me in july..a week after my friend died and I was grieving…she was a demon to me. She told me terrible things she made me feel so ugly. I feel so ugly and unwanted. I wish I didnt love her anymore…im so traumatized by this. I trusted her so much. She never loved me and she only used me. I was never rspecial to her. I believed her when she said I was the only person she'd love and she'd marry.

She said she needs time to 'heal' and process this until the end of Sept. at that time I'm going to end it with her. I can't deal with jealousy, I can't deal with her protecting that other girl. This other girl isn't even lesbian. She is bicurious and with a boyfriend. My lesbian ex cheated on me with a bicurious girl with a boyfriend. I think they want to use her as a third if she allows it. I want no part in this anymore. I want someone who really finds me attractive or at least cares about me. I am at a low point. I have therapy tomorrow and I want to believe in love and that she gets help and I get help. I want to move on and feel better walking on my own two feet and learn to love myself more than anyone.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 03:13:57 PM No. 288763

Do you think it can work long term with someone not out to their family and who has no intentions of ever telling them? She’s from a Muslim family and so am I, so I do understand, but she talks about wanting to get married one day and have a long term relationship and realistically I don’t see how it could work. Like wouldn’t your parents eventually realise if you’re living with a woman for your whole life and doing everything with them? Like it kind of seems like you have to either tell them/atleast be ambivalent about them finding out or cut them off

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 03:17:03 PM No. 288764

>>288763
Also just for context, she’s 27 with a good job and not like financially dependant on them. And I truly wouldn’t want someone to cut off their entire family bc of me if they don’t want to, but I just don’t really see logistically how it could work

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 03:47:30 PM No. 288771

File: 1663602450294.jpg (32.82 KB, 958x960, FUwk4hiWUAEEbVo.jpg)

The woman I fell in love with has all of the traits I look for in a partner, but she's a genderfluid any-but-she/her pronoun user. Honestly it doesn't really bother me since she's pretty much a normie outside of that and she's open to my feminist sperging, but it feels so awkward to have to call her my boyfriend around others since she doesn't like feminine terms. I think she'll grow out of it eventually the more she spends time with me, but it's still something I'd rather not deal with…

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 04:21:18 PM No. 288780

>>288749
I'm sorry you're hurting so much nonna. You just need to forget about this woman, block her and be done forever, don't be tempted to work things out or give her more chances or friendship. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Stuck in this shitty LDR that was obviously never gonna work out but I had sunk so much time/effort into it already that it felt impossible to walk away. I know it hurts but breaking it off is the hardest part, once you block her and are done with her completely you'll start to heal, I promise. I know it hurts to be alone but once you start to heal being single is 100000000000x better than a shitty LDR trust me. I know I'm just a random stranger but I'm genuinely proud of you for ending things with her.
> I want no part in this anymore. I want someone who really finds me attractive or at least cares about me.
Write this on your mirror or something and read it every single day because it's true. Your ex sucked and you deserve better. Even being single is better because you can spoil yourself and dedicate your extra time to hobbies and stuff without that cloud of anxiety hovering over your head 24/7. You're gonna be just fine, I promise. Buy yourself a treat after therapy tomorrow if you can afford it, you deserve it.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 05:46:22 PM No. 288798

>>288749
i'm so proud of you for recognising your worth and not falling for her bullshit. don't let this one girl make you feel bad about yourself, she obviously has her own issues that she needs to sort out and you should let her do that far away from you. it's your time to grow and be happy now, it will be hard at first but we i believe in you :- )

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 06:08:19 PM No. 288801

>>288763
I just think it's shitty. I know we're supposed to say "it works for some, can't judge" etc etc. but I do judge people who aren't out and still wanna date long term. Disrespect to the self from family maybe I could take but I'd never maintain a relationship with anyone who would see my girlfriend as anything derogatory. I want my "loved ones" to welcome her the way they would an opposite sex partner. Anything less is an insult to her. To be fair, I also would not be okay with merely being tolerated by my own family, anyone who does not accept me does not get to have my love. I don't really care if people who are closeted find my view extreme or offensive, it's still not as offensive as your pathetic servitude to your family who doesn't even know the real you.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 07:09:27 PM No. 288818

>>288763
>>288764
>27 with a good job and not like financially dependant on them
Yeah I definitely wouldn't pursue this. I think it's understandable that college students etc would want to wait until they're stable before coming out. If she's already stable and has no plan to cut them off she's never gonna do it. She'll leave you for a man once the family pressure gets intense enough. It sounds like she hasn't realistically thought everything through, there's no way she'll be able to keep up the charade because even if you're 'just friends' at a certain point she'll be expected to stop being 'single' and settle down with a man.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 07:41:39 PM No. 288832

>>288801
I agree with you. I would never date someone who hid me from thier family ever again. It is a red flag for me.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 07:48:11 PM No. 288836

>>288798
>>288780

Thank you so much. This thread has helped me so much and I want everyone to know I really do feel better seeing messages of support. Thanks for taking time out of your days to reply.

This is my first heartbreak, and while I'm so devastated I'm also grateful to experience this low.
I still love her despite everything but as a partner she can't even do the bare minimum and she had no remorse telling me what happened. She was devoid of any responsibility and even sort of blamed me. She really scared me how nasty and mean someone who claimed to love you can be. She chose the words most hurtful to me in the world and pierced through me to hurt so deep. That she didn't even know if I was attractive or not like the other girl , that she was still a virgin so who cares, shit happens, that she liked it and didn't regret it. She was so cold. And I was made to feel so so small.
Everyday I'm glad that I don't want to look back.
My friends are all supportive and telling me that anyone would want to have me as a partner. I have hope that I can get married one day to a faithful woman and she could love me for real. I wish I had a sign on my back that said don't touch me or talk to me if you're going to hurt me.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 09:31:39 PM No. 288866

>>288836
Okay sorry I’m genuinely not meaning to be a bitch but like, come on lol. We get it. This isn’t your personal blog

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 10:02:42 PM No. 288887

>>288866
Seriously I'm getting sick of reading about her and her imaginary gf that she only met after she got dumped.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 10:22:51 PM No. 288894

>>288887
>>288866
I tried to delete my posts but wasn't able to. Sorry. Won't post.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 11:13:40 PM No. 288912

>>288866
>>288887
>wtf a post that takes 2 seconds to scroll past?! how could I suffer from such a miserable inconvience?
she posted once today and then made one a follow up reply you melodramatic narcs

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 11:18:14 PM No. 288914

>>288912
Lol yeah i’m the melodramatic one..

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 11:39:28 PM No. 288919

>>288914
>>288866
What the fuck is wrong with both of you. You're extremely nasty people fuck off if all you want to contribute to the board is infighting and being a dick. What do you contribute to this community? Nothing. So fuck off.

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon) 11:50:41 PM No. 288921

>>288919
Identifying yourself multiple times and making repetitive attention seeking, self pitying blogposts about a non existent ldr clogs the thread and is not contributing to the ”community”. Just because the imaginary person was a woman doesn’t make it relevant. There are more appropriate threads such as the vent thread or the mental health disorders thread for this kind of post.

Anonymous 09/20/22 (Tue) 12:19:04 AM No. 288928

>>288921
>self pitying blogposts about a non existent ldr clogs the thread
Tbh I'd rather scroll past a couple blog posts than scroll past constant fucking infighting and scolding about what is and is not permissible for the thread. If you actually have an issue just report it and move on, if it's actual blogposting farmhands will redtext. Now we're gonna have another 20+ post spergfest because Ms. Hallmonitor needed to minimod.

Anonymous 09/20/22 (Tue) 12:46:48 AM No. 288941

>>288928
I'm >>288919 and I won't sperg at them anymore I'll just ignore them (or the same person). And I agree just so cruel for someone having a hard time and just thanking the anons that gave them advice. One of the reasons I stopped going on here. These newfags are so rude and unhinged.

>>288894
I hope you're ok Nonnie don't feel forced to move on quickly it takes time to heal. These bitter nonnies are hurting inside and feel like big men when they try to belittle strangers online. You did nothing wrong.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 12:29:35 PM No. 289221

File: 1663763375066.gif (384.04 KB, 220x165, dont-be-fucking-rude-kim-karda…)

>>288866
>>288887

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 06:16:05 PM No. 289304

>>288771
That sounds pretty terrible and exhausting nona. Have you tried discussing or talking to her about this? Or what makes you think she'll grow out of it?

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 06:28:45 PM No. 289310

I know this is incredibly embarrassing but I'm a little bit in love with my therapist. She's everything I like, attractive, intelligent, tall, feminine. She made a pass at me before and sometimes I can't help flirting with her. We went out for lunch recently and she told me how she wants to branch out and she feels like she hasn't really been living her life to the fullest (she's married and has a child). She asks me about being a lesbian a lot, and suggested that it's something she relates to, whatever that means. Am I overthinking this? I mean it's the most lesbian situation ever. She texts me sometimes with little tidbits about her day. It's like she's skirting a boundary without actually crossing it.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 06:34:58 PM No. 289313

>>289310
Um Anon she has already crossed the boundary by flirting with you, accepting you flirting in return, seeing you outside of sessions, texting you, everything. That is not normal or acceptable in her practice. I would encourage you to drop her as a therapist and pursue her as a love interest but the fact that she's so flagrantly overstepped her professional boundary leads me to believe she'd trespass on your personal ones as well. In any case, get a new therapist.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 06:51:38 PM No. 289317

>>289310
Reality check for you: this therapist is knee-deep in ethics violation and is mid-bi-awakening and you're thinking of going for it. She already did actually cross many boundaries. In addition, since she is a working professional with a career presumably in the western sphere, she had agency in choosing to have a whole marriage and kid, thus is not a fucking lesbian but a bored bisexual. Please!

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 06:52:34 PM No. 289318

>>289310
I fantasized about this shit when I was like 14, anyway, get a new therapist please

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 06:58:13 PM No. 289320

>>289310
Sis, I don’t think you should pursue this relationship further, both on therapist and friendship/romance side. As a therapist, she outed herself as an inept one, violating professional ethics. As a potential girlfriend…do you seriously think dating a woman that picks her partners from her client pool as a therapist is a good idea?? Do you not see how fucking inapropriate it is to send personal texts and hang out with your patient? Wtf kind of decision making is this. This woman has so many red flags, she is a whole fucking communist parade

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 07:02:27 PM No. 289322

>>289304
I don't want to rock the boat and inadvertently push her more to gender stuff, so I kinda just go along with it and haven't thought to discuss it too much. But I think she'll grow out of it because, after talking a lot with her about her past, it's clear she just has a lot of internalized misogyny. I think if I keep helping her out of those weird notions she has about being a woman (i.e. by being my own natural masculine self and owning it and reassuring her it's ok to be hairy and not wear makeup, etc.) that she'll realize she can just be a masculine woman, too. She already thanks me a ton for reassuring her about her insecurities, so I have hope.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 07:28:07 PM No. 289327

>>289313
>>289317
>>289318
>>289320
Ok thank you anons, you're all right of course. I was seriously so deliriously horny that I was thinking of sleeping with this lady. I swear I'm not always this naive.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 08:25:17 PM No. 289343

File: 1663791917158.gif (94.55 KB, 315x572, speedypantrip.gif)

What is the best app for hook up? I tried HER but it's not that good, never used othee app before tho.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 08:51:37 PM No. 289358

>>289343
It heavily depends on your actual area and age group and tastes in women. Just download all the big ones and do some swiping, you'll know pretty quickly.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 09:29:12 PM No. 289368

>>289327
Yeah, just always keep in mind that almost without fail these situations become ridiculously unhorny and unhot eventually because they're so messy. That's why a lot of such things stay fantasies.

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 09:43:01 PM No. 289375

im so fucking tired to be a """femcel""" (hate that word) but i badly want to have a gf to cuddle her and cherish her for the rest of my life, i wanna have a real lesbian relationship im so fucking tired of celibacy. living in a country where my existence leads to death penalty fucking sucks. also i planned to live in europe next year but they got plagued by the troon bullshit. fuck this. i dont want to hide myself anymore! i wanna go out with a girl! i wanna be loved !! i want to live the lesbian life i deserve!!

Anonymous 09/21/22 (Wed) 11:11:17 PM No. 289396

>>289375
Even with troon stuff it’s not hard finding normie lesbians that are either terf adjacent or don’t care about that stuff at all. Just put non-political on your dating profile and you’ll attract the right girls.

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 12:49:53 AM No. 289413

>>289343
HER is full of TIMs and you can get banned for saying you aren't interested in them. The real women I see on it are interested in settling down, and I mostly get liked by "enbie" teenagers into poly BDSM, ugly women over a decade older, and TIMs who just look like guys.

I honestly wish a real lesbian hook up culture existed, not all of us are cottagecore types who want to get married forever and ever.

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 01:13:12 AM No. 289418

>>289413
This. Sometimes we just have a thirst that needs to be quenched.

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 02:06:42 AM No. 289428

>>289413
I seriously don’t get why there isn’t one or atleast more of one? It doesn’t even seem like an exclusively lesbian thing because I feel like even bi women I meet don’t tend to have hook ups with women and are usually looking for something more long term

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 02:10:33 AM No. 289430

i fantasize about making a butch farmer with a chip on her shoulder fall in love with me. i'd like to melt her heart and make her forget her troubles. i'd have hundreds of flowers delivered to her place, write poems about her. but id also want to do dorky things like carve our initials into a tree and create her avatar in those online dress up games for shits and giggles. i'd love to starch her shirts and tie her tie, feed her grapes and strawberries in bed. i'd stroke her hair while she sperged about the bihets and the troons, then i'd give her chamomile tea and kiss her eyelids before she fell asleep.

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 02:31:48 AM No. 289435

>>289413
as an emotionally repressed and walled off person, i wish there was more of a lesbian hook-up culture too. maybe there was moreso back in the 80s? it's kind of hard to decipher recent lesbian history when it's basically partitioned into the straight polilezzes that hated homosexuals that had sex, and the lesbians who subsequently seemed to group up more around gay men bc they were actually SSA at least. but nobody really cares about documenting anything about women so there's a lot that gets caught up in the noise.

the other problem is if you try to create spaces (apps, bars, etc) that are actually conducive to hooking up, they're immediately flooded by both trannoids and normal men. maybe the difficulty of finding actually compatible women is what causes lesbians to latch on when you find someone you have any chemistry with.

i think it's kind of exhausting. i just wish i could have a casual relationship with a woman

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 03:47:30 AM No. 289445

File: 1663818450561.png (7.96 MB, 1761x3072, unknown-18.png)

I do want a long term gf but I'm also at the point where I just desperately need to eat pussy, but I'm a huge virgin nerd and hookup culture is already so miniscule for women. I've had girlfriends but they were when I was a teen and was too insecure to try sex but I'm nearing my mid 20's now and I think I'm starting to go crazy and I have no game lmao.

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 12:27:48 PM No. 289522

>>289375
>i would be executed in my country for being gay
>but Europe has troons!
These two situations are not even remotely on the same level. Go to Europe and ignore troons, it's not a big deal.

>>289413
>I honestly wish a real lesbian hook up culture existed
In my city it's hard to find anyone to actually date long term. Everyone is in open relationships. It's true that cruising is a bit more complicated since polycules are super common and the bars are never lesbian-exclusive but the apps still work if you want to hook up and ghost.

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 12:44:18 PM No. 289528

>>289375
Anon I would much rather deal with a couple of troons that you never even see IRL because they're NEET pussies than be fucking killed. Europe isn't as pozzed as you think it is.

>>289413
Same. I'm constantly horny and I just want steamy sex or even making out with no strings attached but it feels like everyone will end up catching feelings and becoming jealous and wanting commitment anyway. When I was younger everyone wanted to experiment but back then I was too repressed to even touch a titty, and now that I'm in my early 30's it's either marry or stay dry. It's frustrating and using apps feels like I'm setting myself up for a serial killer preying on women.

Anonymous 09/22/22 (Thu) 01:15:34 PM No. 289530

>>289528
Wanting casual stuff apparently makes more sense if your 20, but not older. It doesn't make sense how you're expected to want to settle down at 30+ even if you're gay because everyone has different milestones and experiences. I missed out on the "fun stuff" you're supposed to do during your late teens-20s due to circumstances like being hardcore closeted because I was forcibly outed in high school, then getting abruptly fired from my first job and then all the crap with higher education, I feel more ready now for mingling in my 30s but hardly anyone my age is interested, and even when swiping for those available in my state, it's just "looking for the one" "don't bother if you're only here for sex", etc.

No wonder LDR/e-dating is so common. I'd settle for someone to sext with and talk about geek stuff if I could confirm they're an actual woman and mutually attracted.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 04:01:04 AM No. 289715

My sister was trying to find books on being happy single (she's straight) and she was telling me how she was shocked seeing all these books talk about polilez shit and what I was telling her all these years was true.

I was on Lchat fake lesbians thread and just saw that the get the l out leader is a polilez with a child and a boyfriend. Is our community made of so much polilez straightbians because they crave attention and power while most lesbians just want to live? And even olden day lesbians thinking all old fashioned thinking it was a choice and still sleeping with men?

Why are we so entwined with polilez. I wish we could have history rewritten by real lesbians or at least more voices from real lesbians. Why is it so hard to find any. Like I hardly if ever see any of these lesbian personalities online talk about the innate otherness and deep pit of hollowness we live with and learn to get used to. Or feeling like a predator during our teen years and learning how to navigate those feelings and how we view ourselves and women. Why does no one talk about these things? Unless I'm not looking in the right places.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 06:33:22 AM No. 289738

>>289715
Polilez in the 70's basically claimed that they invented lesbianism and that there were no real lesbians before them, since it requires being "out" as a radfem to them. So yeah that did affect a lot of literature. Lesbian radfems from continental Europe were generally more sane. Monique Wittig talked a lot about the intense otherness lesbians feel from women attracted to men, which is why she was kinda bamboozled by Murican polilez. She basically predicted the "lesbian is my gender" crowd, because society has made being male attracted such an integral part of womanhood, that being an actual lesbian feels very othering.
Queer theory or older shit is also automatically verboten for anyone slightly gc, even if it has nothing to do with trans shit, or isn't even necessarily pro trans, but just describes the history without going into a rant. The Well of Loneliness? The protagonist is too male-aligned and too comfortable with invert-theory from a century ago. Even though that was the only theory about lesbians at that time, which actually included sexual attraction. "Queer theory" is a minefield, but not everything is the worst shit you've ever seen. Jack (Judith) Halberstam is a good author, I especially enjoyed "female masculinity". Her other books are still good, bit jarring titles, but personally I like the combination of high, low theory and pop culture. You should see her as your friend ranting while high about how Brienne of Tarth should've been a butch lesbian and how she thinks Spongebob is gay, instead of getting ready to be offended and taking things too seriously. Ivan E. Coyote is an enby, but her book Tomboy Survival guide is definitely about feeling othered as a gnc lesbian. Sometimes verboten authors have the good shit and honestly their relative silence about TiMs is deafening. These books aren't even recommended among actual TRA's, because that shit is considered "crypto terfy" nowadays.
Lesbian history is also muddy, because a lot of women we would now call lesbians, didn't call themselves lesbians back in the day. Back in the day they also didn't even know about bisexuality, so bi women with a very heavy lean towards women were often mingling in the same group as women we'd today call lesbians. This was pre-polilez and also makes things more complicated. I got this from "Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold", which is a book with lots of interviews from the community. Nowadays it's considered "queer theory" for some reason, which is why many gc people automatically filter it out, but from what I can tell is that the author just included an updated introduction about how she finds queer theory to be confusing, but she's not going to meddle with younger generations.
There's also a whole discussion going on about whether you can call someone an identity they didn't have at that time. Good authors generally say that it's bad to "trans" people from the past and that it's bad to call them a lesbian, since neither was a (popular) concept at that time. Women who called themselves butch-femme in the 50's and 60's, much later heard about lesbian and bi and categorized themselves accordingly (which is what polilez had a problem with). People who weren't alive for the popularization of the word "lesbian" for homosexual women, haven't really had that chance to categorize themselves with modern labels. Like was Anne Lister a lesbian? By our modern standards, yes, but she also wrote a lot about how she was not like the others, in reference to other women we'd consider lesbians nowadays. Maybe she'd view "lesbian" as not specific enough (considering the state of the community nowadays), like she disliked "Sapphic".
>The diaries contain recognizably "sapphic" material, and yet Anne herself did not identify as such and took pains to distinguish between her own "natural" instincts and "sapphic artifices." Her preference for women, she tells one woman she is flirting with, "was all nature. Had it not been genuine the thing would have been different." She goes on, "Got on the subject of Saffic regard. I said there was artifice in it. It was very different from mine & would be no pleasure to me. I liked to have those I loved as near me as possible, etc. Asked if she understood. She said no. I told her I knew by her eyes she did & she did not deny it, therefore I know she understands all about the use of a —"
So besides polilez saying no real lesbians existed before them, there's also the problem that they actually popularized the term. Before that, homosexual women called themselves different terms and often were in communities with bisexual women under the same term, muddling things. There's no clear timeline of lesbian history, just incidences of subcultures springing up around SSA women. I've noticed the authors who are deadset on retconning it as lesbian, come also from polilez authors who generally also need everything to fit a certain agenda. They for some reason can't just describe things as they were or how homosexual women of that time described themselves. It's automatically with a negative and judgmental viewpoint and commentary, because it doesn't fit in modern conceptions. Authors who don't do that, generally get filed automatically under "queer theory", no matter how little it has to do with trans stuff. And ends up not even becoming an option for GC people to read. So yeah good shit exists, but it's hidden in a minefield.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 09:06:08 AM No. 289747

>>289738
Thank you so much nonnie for the reply I really enjoyed reading it. I guess I should just throw myself into reading all the literature I can find and hopefully find some semblance of the truth through it all. I wonder if there is some lesbians out there cataloging everything right now for future generations. I know there is that one Dirt chick that people said sounded a bit crazy lol. But I think it's a very kind thing to do, sharing that information for other lesbians to feel a connection etc.

I will definitely start out with the people you recommended, it sounds like you've read a lot about this stuff so I look forward to reading them even if they might dabble in the queero shit.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 11:56:32 AM No. 289762

Are there any in-person hobbies or groups that are "gay coded" or attract lesbians in general besides sports (no interest in them outside of exercise)? Trying use apps while in a small town in a swing state that usually leans conservative has been a bust, but there are no bars or events here either, I'm very close to going back to library events or something to see if there's anyone gay and around my age at the events lmao

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 12:14:42 PM No. 289765

>>289747
I probably don't sound any less schizo than that person, just a different flavor. You have to be a bit crazy to wade through all that stuff kek. Like there's more to "queer theory" than just the trans shit, some stuff actually makes sense, just has an unfortunate name if you feel particularly uncomfortable with the word "queer". As an example there are whole books and articles talking about what >>289530 this nonna is describing, but you'll find it under the term "queer time". It just means that because of being in the closet, discrimination, being kicked out etc. lgb people generally hit milestones at a later date and sometimes never. Not every thing queerios come up with is crazy and if "queer" feels uncomfortable for you, you can just say you're on lesbian time.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 12:28:56 PM No. 289767

>>289765
DA I personally tolerated queer theory when it was more aimed towards working class people and somewhat material (I hate Judith Butler but her theory of "gender performativity" had some merit), but like a lot of college-level liberal arts things it's mostly just navel-gazing from bored rich people. And it very quickly ended up turning homophobic since it went from claiming gender roles are socially constructed (true), to sexuality being constructed too, which is the backbone of a lot of trans incel rhetoric. Not to mention the whole rhetoric that gay people who want to be normal and settle down are "heteronormative" but polyamorous straight crossdressers into BDSM are "queer" because it "challenges society"

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 12:49:44 PM No. 289770

>>289767
>Not to mention the whole rhetoric that gay people who want to be normal and settle down are "heteronormative" but polyamorous straight crossdressers into BDSM are "queer" because it "challenges society"
Yeah I think they went too far in the last part, but I do think that people who want to be "normal" are per definition normative. It's fine if you want to get married and have kids, but let's be real it does kinda suck that you can't escape that pressure even when you already don't fit into the hetero ideal. Some people might finally be fine with lesbians, but only when everyone tries their hardest to be "normal". If anything, it seems like there's more pressure on lesbians than straight women, because obviously you have to make use of samesex marriage or else you're not grateful. You have to make use of IVF, or else you're not grateful for the rights which were given.
This pressure is a bigger problem though than just within the lgb community. I don't often relate to straight women, but when I do, they usually are childfree. I think when theorists use "queer" in that context, they meant it as "weird, in comparison to what is considered normal", but that makes things confusing when "queer" is also used as a synonym for "gay" and as an identity. I can see where it's coming from and honestly at this point I feel like the adding of bdsm & co. shit was almost a psyop. I feel like they were getting at something and got derailed.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 01:02:51 PM No. 289775

>>289770
AYRT, I actually do too, I don't like being called it, but I understand there's power in reclaiming slurs (I do it) so I didn't have a problem with the whole "queer" thing until it started being homophobic and including non-stereotypical straight people. Even if being same sex attracted isn't common, it's still natural, and I personally don't see my sexuality that I didn't choose as an intentional method to smash society, even if I've always been progressive to some degree. I honestly found "queerness" more validating when I was a teenager and newly out because it felt like I was "taking back" being an outcast, but after actually watching how postmodernism went from being a college niche to Tumblr SJW rhetoric to semi-mainstream I think it's done more harm than good.

>I can see where it's coming from and honestly at this point I feel like the adding of bdsm & co. shit was almost a psyop. I feel like they were getting at something and got derailed.
Yeah, I've seen pedophiles try to claim they're queer too, and the defining "queer" as being abnormal and gay at the same time was also why homophobic asexuals wanted to be considered LGB so bad while also being openly grossed out by gay sex. NGL this is why I'm pro-gatekeeping to a certain degree.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 01:18:28 PM No. 289780

>>289770
> I think when theorists use "queer" in that context, they meant it as "weird, in comparison to what is considered normal", but that makes things confusing when "queer" is also used as a synonym for "gay" and as an identity.
Really wish they'd separate the terms already but that they're merged benefits spicy straights co-opting gay rights efforts so I don't see this changing anytime soon. Like you, I'm also not a reactionary who will ignore a whole branch of literature just to be "based" but if you don't spend a considerable amount of time combing through people's backgrounds and work it's a total minefield.

>>289775
Not necessarily as a response to you in particular but relating to your point, it's easier imo to have an aversion to the gay=counterculture thing if you're not visibly GNC with principles like being child-free. "I just wanna live" is impossible for a lot of us: the only version of us society would be willing to accept as normal is one that marries, breeds, does not show physical affection in public, looks femme… aka not us anymore. One can be annoyed with the way some of us consider our existence to be inherently rebellious but one really shouldn't deny that it comes from our material reality and not a teenage urge. For some of us, there is no palatable version that would stay true. It smells like a lack of empathy to me, to credit our outcast status to us being petulant and not see that it's society pushing us out and us accepting that reality.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 04:10:06 PM No. 289826

>>289780
>it's easier imo to have an aversion to the gay=counterculture thing if you're not visibly GNC with principles like being child-free. "I just wanna live" is impossible for a lot of us: the only version of us society would be willing to accept as normal is one that marries, breeds, does not show physical affection in public, looks femme… aka not us anymore. One can be annoyed with the way some of us consider our existence to be inherently rebellious but one really shouldn't deny that it comes from our material reality and not a teenage urge.
AYRT, I do agree with this (I am GNC and get shit for it, and I don't want to have kids either), which is why I think that aspect of "queerness" has a lot of merit. Even gay people who "stay in line" like gay Republicans are still hated by a lot on their side. But my issue is also the far end of queer theory took it to the next level by deciding straight people who choose to become counterculture are "more queer" than people born same sex attracted and have struggled their whole life for it.
I'm friends with a very butch girl who grew up fundie and was severely abused and was assaulted after being outed, and now that she left that community, she just wants to live alone with a partner and mind her own business. But then the radiqueers in her local scene say that's "unradical" when continuing to exist and thrive as a gay person should be radical in itself.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 05:42:19 PM No. 289839

>>289826
AYRT as well, thanks for clarifying your point, I totally see where you're coming from now. I thought you were getting at respectability politics a bit earlier but I don't think that's what you were saying, now that I read a bit more about your perspective. I agree on what you said about hets too, being counterculture does not make you part of the gay community, it's clear to actual gay people but of course we're always drowned out by hets/bisexuals and pressured to pretend people are welcome at all times.

I'm also saddened to hear about your friend. She's been victimized so I don't expect her to fight the fight if her heart is spent. While it's on us marginalized people to fight since we're the only ones with skin in the game, I fully accept that some of us gave the fight we left in us just to exist. I bear no ill will towards a GNC woman just wanting to carve out a small place in the world and go on that way. I wasn't trying to rag on people like your friend, hope you didn't take it that way.

Anonymous 09/23/22 (Fri) 07:45:10 PM No. 289869

>>289775
>Even if being same sex attracted isn't common, it's still natural, and I personally don't see my sexuality that I didn't choose as an intentional method to smash society, even if I've always been progressive to some degree.
I don't see it as an intentional method either, but I've continuously had to hear and feel how it makes me "asozial", against society. That didn't exactly motivate me to try to appeal to "the norm", especially when some expectations still haven't changed in 120 years and history is just repeating itself. People respond differently to trauma, the problem is that assimilationist movements have made those who don't assimilate for whatever reason the villains and blame us for lgb not being accepted more. Hatred of gnc women within the community, is still a very obvious remnant of that (assimilationism -> polilez -> cultural feminism -> current attitude), which you even see in radiqueer circles.
>but after actually watching how postmodernism went from being a college niche to Tumblr SJW rhetoric to semi-mainstream I think it's done more harm than good
Postmodernism is a tool or technique just like any other and it has honestly been used for much and much worse. It can be used for great art and it can be used for propaganda with terrible consequences (see Vladislav Surkov). Practically everyone uses post modernism in one way shape or form, including the people who shit on it or maybe especially the people who shit on it or deny that they use it. The postmodern paradox is also a well known one, because pretending to be neutral, rigorous and universal is itself an example of another 'meta' story, self-contradicting the postmodern critique of the metanarrative. The problem with TRA's is that they don't admit that they have their own metanarrative and that by doing the gendered souls thing and chants like "twaw", they're kinda defeating the point. The rest with going mainstream is just cooptation, which happens with everything, might as well hate everything, because you can bet everything can be used to either make a buck off of or to further oppress marginalized people. It's a tool like an icepick, you can use it to make sculptures, get some ice for your drink, or lobotomize someone. I.e. making movies like Rome + Juliet (1996) or But I'm a Cheerleader, making memes, or making propaganda to justify the invasion of several countries (which has been a 20+ year long project).
>NGL this is why I'm pro-gatekeeping to a certain degree.
Yeah I get it. Personally I don't feel like I have much power with gatekeeping. People have succeeded in making lesbian mean colloquially feminine woman into femininity, so if I tell a homophobic asexual that they don't belong, they can hit me back with "you look like you want to be a man" or "muh toxic masculinity". I'm already considered to be on thin ice generally kek.
>>289826
>But my issue is also the far end of queer theory took it to the next level by deciding straight people who choose to become counterculture are "more queer" than people born same sex attracted and have struggled their whole life for it.
>But then the radiqueers in her local scene say that's "unradical" when continuing to exist and thrive as a gay person should be radical in itself.
I think that is more just bitterness and a reaction to the assimilationist movement, out of which polilez originated too partially, rather than actually meant against people like your friend. That context gets removed for newer generations in progressive areas which haven't really come across that and end up applying it to people from conservative areas who just want to be low key for their own safety and sanity.

Anonymous 09/24/22 (Sat) 07:28:57 PM No. 290061

File: 1664047737522.jpeg (69.75 KB, 447x670, XA2RsX2.jpeg)

>>273508
My girlfriend is a huge libfem and I don't know whether it's rational for me to be bothered about it. I try not to talk politics but somehow it always come up. She's very male identified and she can't even see it, always sympathizing and empathizing with men but incredibly harsh towards women in any context.

Things she's told me:

- transwomen are more oppressed than women
- "I only use the word 'bitch' for women, not for men"
- What if women in the middle east choose to wear hijab?
- Being anti-porn is anti-feminist because it infantilizes sex workers

We get along reasonably well and it's so hard to find lesbians to date so I don't want to break up.
But now that we're over the honeymoon period her male-pandering stances are bothering me more and more

Anonymous 09/24/22 (Sat) 08:12:25 PM No. 290064

>>290061
I'm not a heavily political person, but saying men who want to be women are more oppressed than actual women or that prostitution/porn is fine would be a huge dealbreaker. However, I notice a lot of libfems are just trying to play along with what the mainstream says, I actually used to believe the last opinion until I was shown information about the porn industry and sex trafficking (9 out of 10 prostitutes want to stop), and how Onlyfans is basically a pyramid scheme. I wouls honestly try to have an open debate and ask why she seems to believe those things, and find entry level responses against it (a lot of women agree with radfem rhetoric as long as it's presented simply and not called that).

Anonymous 09/24/22 (Sat) 08:22:01 PM No. 290065

>>290061
Do you actually talk to her about these things? What does she do when you contradict her on this stuff?

Anonymous 09/24/22 (Sat) 08:32:20 PM No. 290069

>>290064
I don't disagree with you, but she's 35 (I'm 29). I really don't feel like explaining feminism 101 to someone at our age.
>>290065
I usually try to change subject, it often comes up when we're walking home from a night out and I don't want to spoil the mood.

Anonymous 09/24/22 (Sat) 09:00:06 PM No. 290074

>>290069
>She's 35
AYRT, she's a lost cause. I can't imagine dating someone six years older and being the smart one in comparison.

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 12:19:25 AM No. 290329

>>290069
I mean, if you never actually told her about your views then maybe she feels like she has to pretend to be TRA since she doesn't know what you actually think. There are many women out there who just say the politically correct stuff despite not believing it or at least being open to changing their minds because it doesn't sit 100% right with them.

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 03:44:35 AM No. 290386

>>290329
NTA i don't know how likely that is, but i do think there are a lot of normie-adjacent people out there who dislike terfs without really knowing what they believe. it could easily be a case of that but the question is if that anon wants to risk "exposing" herself

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 04:04:47 AM No. 290392

>>290386
DA but that's usually where I play dumb when it comes to that topic, since I used to be in that boat but when I had "TERF opinions" explained to me, I couldn't refute it, so I try to plant that seed too. "What are TERFs/SWERFs/etc. and why are they bad?", and depending on what they say the response is, I just ask again (ex. "They're exclusionary." "Don't politics/social justice movements have to be exclusionary to work?" Or, "They say transwomen aren't real women." "How are they the same as women born female, though?"). But I'm also a bit of a troll too, lmao

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 03:46:18 PM No. 290464

>>290386
"exposing herself" to the woman she may in the future build a life with? I would imagine any person respectful of themselves and their partner would be interested in being transparent about beliefs that may be a serious dealbreaker. In the reverse scenario, if my gf was merely pretending to be based like me and never told me "because it's hard enough to find a lesbian to date" I'd feel seriously wronged. OP is being a coward.

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 06:45:22 PM No. 290502

>>290464
Seriously, it's one thing if it's a casual Tinder date but an actual relationship with someone who should know better at 35? I'd rather be single or try to find a TERFy bisexual than beat around the bush with a brainrotted lesbian libfem.

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 08:15:01 PM No. 290526

What would you say are the best places online to meet women (discords, tinder, other dating apps..)? I usually date online bc neet and health problems these days so it's a lot harder to meet people in general now.

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 09:39:18 PM No. 290537

serious question: if you are attracted to ftm/enbies that are afab how do you explain this in your dating description, does it have a label or something

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 09:43:11 PM No. 290541

>>290526
Jesus Christ just ctrl+f for once in your life. These threads are full of the same exact question.

>>290537
There is no label, but you can say "enbies welcome" or something to indicate you're into them. You can't mention that they have to be AFAB though, you'll get reported and banned. Thus, you'll also get male enbies and all manner of tranny in your inbox like we all do anyway. Adding the enby thing would merely encourage some of the right ones to swipe right on you.

Anonymous 09/26/22 (Mon) 10:48:04 PM No. 290556

>>278144
asexuals are not lesbians btw

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 12:31:43 AM No. 290576

>>290537
There isn't really a way to say it that won't offend someone, but if you don't want to get banned on apps for being open to TIFs you can say "interested in women and transmascs" (since that's the new PC word and it includes FTM/female-born NBs).

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 12:58:22 AM No. 290581

>>290537
are you really trying to date them or just looking for sex? if you're just attracted them them visually, but looking for a real relationship, there's pretty much zero reason to note it. it's not really sustainable to date someone with such wildly different political views imo.

if you just want sex, 'trans men and enbies welcome' might do the trick. noting trans men and not trans women might be enough for people to realize you're not interested in the male ones, but then again, it's not like men really give a fuck about boundaries regardless.

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 01:41:20 AM No. 290585

What are some tricks to eating someone out well? Do most women like tricks? like doing that corkscrew thing with your finger? Is it bad to just focus on the clit? I know it's different for everyone… My last two partners didn't care for it but I want to be good at it. Do women like when you lick and kiss the labias? I guess going slow and exploring and then her saying what she wants done is probably the best way to go. I wish there was more guides than just listen to what she wants. Personally I just care about my clit but I also felt pressured to receive when I didn't want it. But now I'm bored and single and want to think about it until the moment comes up lol.

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 04:26:54 AM No. 290610

autumn has got me craving a gf again but every time i meet a cute girl and get the guts to talk to her, she already has a gf or partner. im scared of dating apps cuz i don’t want casual hookups or moids in my inbox. i just wanna go to a pumpkin patch and apple picking with a cute gf man :”-( i have like no dating experience. only ever dated a moid (briefly) before realizing i was gay and haven’t had the guts to try again since. any advice on getting over my fears and/or getting out there more?

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 06:58:09 AM No. 290626

>>290610
The thing about apps is you can only message if you have a match, aka you like each other. I personally haven't had great luck, but I've never had to deal with any messages from men/TIMs because I don't like them. TIMs will like your profile anyway no matter what you put to try to ward them out, but if you avoid them, don't like their profiles, or try to block them (depending on the app) then there won't be an unwanted encounter. I also see a ton of women on Tinder who outright say they want something seriously and scroll past if you only want sex, it honestly just depends on your age group and where you live. It doesn't hurt to look and try to swipe, if you don't like it you can just delete it.

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 08:00:40 AM No. 290630

I need to gush, sorry.
I feel like I'm going crazy I'm so in love with her. She's so beautiful, she's been I think maybe kinda flirtatious lately? - hopefully I'm not misinterpreting anything. Fuck, I wanna eat her out so bad.

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 12:08:31 PM No. 290661

>>290585
In my experience asking what she wants when starting out is good. Gives you the best road to assured climax which builds confidence and trust. If you're going to fuck her long term then it can be fun to try new things, set that expectation when you're not actively fucking and bring up that you'd like to try some new sensations together and to be patient with each other. Sexually active adults or adults who masturbate a lot may be set in their ways. When you get off one way for a long time, it can become the only way you climax, but even they might be surprised with how a new partner may make a difference in a "method" that they thought they didn't care for. If she's down to let you try stuff, then having a rough strategy (mainly pacing, how you're gonna build intensity and how you're going to control blood flow) going in and following the moans is the best way imo.

That's my two cents.

>>290610
This fear is entirely pointless. Maybe you'll think of this as harsh but it's just an app, they're just strangers that you can ghost. As an adult it's your responsibility to alter your choices if you want different outcomes. You'll probably need to invest quite a bit of time into dates to find someone that's truly compatible with you but it's just how things work. Relationships are quite a lot more work than finding dates so if you're afraid of the dates, you can't do the relationship.

Anonymous 09/27/22 (Tue) 04:48:43 PM No. 290732

For those of you who have had luck using apps, do you have any tips for having an interesting profile that draws women in? I feel like my bio is too boring; I just have basic info of my lifestyle and interests and what I'm looking for, and some jokes. But I think being boring is why a lot of the matches I get kinda ghosted or mutually ghost each other after awhile, so it dies before any phone numbers/contacts or a date is arranged.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 08:34:09 AM No. 290963

>>290661
thanks nonnie for the advice. I guess all the tricks and stuff is just bologna to get insecure people to buy books/courses for help lol.

>>290732
Your profile sounds fine as it is. You don't want to make your profile so exciting that you become the dancing monkey in the relationship always entertaining her. One thing I hear a lot though is having pictures of you outside that people took. not just selfies in your house looking like a recluse.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 02:39:22 PM No. 291001

File: 1664375962431.jpg (70.2 KB, 564x1104, 71ae3ebc869ba8083785502279d031…)

Nonnies, did people guess that you were a lesbian before you knew ?
I remember as a teen being always seen as straight by women but sometimes some random guys at my school would make weird comments about it kek.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 02:55:13 PM No. 291003

File: 1664376913350.jpg (117.93 KB, 783x830, Shane.jpg)

>>291001
Everyone knew, except me, basically. People were calling me slurs. My aunt wanted to send me to a school in her homecountry to teach me to be a "real lady", because I came to her wedding in a suit. All the "bicurious" women in secondary school managed to find me, without me being out. Honestly I was also a retard who was sleeping with women while calling myself straight, I don't even know how I was that much in denial. Later I looked back at photos and even at my most feminine at 16, I looked like a Shane wannabe (picrel) and I hadn't even heard of the LWord back then.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 03:16:35 PM No. 291009

>>290963
Mostly, yeah.

Coming up with different ways to contort your tongue, applying pressure in a more controlled way, training your hands and face to sustain movement etc are relevant. Any "do this and she'll scream your name" tips are completely pointless because they're not tailored to the unique situation you'd be in. Only some fundamental anatomical things apply, like when you lightly touch an area for a while it gets more sensitive. Will your specific partner be into that? Who the fuck knows. You need to try it. Some other stuff, like make sure you foreplay long enough and tease. Toying with her a little and really thinking about the pacing is useful.

As you gain more experience and understand your capabilities more it will make sense. For instance, I still can't get my tongue to get super rigid and apply pressure in the direction my current gf loves the most for too long so I have to make sure I deploy that when she's going crazy, to push her over the edge. She's ticklish in some places, but it's very overwhelming for her so when I'm tired I can pivot to those spots so her experience is more seamless, but I'm actually taking a time out. Stopping in your tracks without blending sensations is generally a vibe killer, ime that means you're gonna have to build momentum all over again. There are some tactics, some strategy, and some horndog ooga booga involved. It's a really fun mix of it all, you're gonna learn on your own.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 03:49:46 PM No. 291014

>>291001
Basically.
When I was gosh, around 10-11, the other kids said I was a lesbian, and I had already written in my diary that I suspected such.
But it was only when I was late teens did I actually accept it as absolute fact.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 04:46:40 PM No. 291026

>>290963
AYRT, but it seems to not be enough since my last few matches were way less interested than I was, which really sucks since the ratio of likes vs matches is not remotely equal. So when I do get a match I initiate and lead the conversation, but it always dies when they lose interest so nothing gets arranged. Which is funny since you'd expect that from the million bicurious girls, but I avoid them like the plague, these grown adult women are really acting out the stupid "useless lesbian" Tumblr memes. I live in a small town with no actual LGB spaces so I'm trying to take what I can get with apps, but then I don't get anything.

Are there any profile red flags that lesbians avoid on apps, besides the obvious pronoun/liberal nonsense? I don't have any flags or pronouns or anything like that, but I worry another issue is the real lesbians (and few sensible bi women) skip past because I'm not heavily political and assume I'm one of the queerios.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 07:55:31 PM No. 291083

>>291001
I always knew I was a lesbian since a child, but I didn't fully know what lesbian was until I saw two women married on tv.i knew I would never be with boys and when I imagined myself in a family dynamic playing with my schoolmates I was always the cat or an inanimate object. Girls in school always confessed to me though. I think I always attracted women but I was never tomboyish. I suspect I also have/had a hormone in balance which made me not horny or care about sexual expression in my teens. When I was older in my mid 20s I fell in love with my best friend (now ex because she cheated kek) but what struck me was how easily I accepted it and came out immedietly to my family soon after. I never dated men though and never cared much about them. All men look like feet to me.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 08:10:16 PM No. 291087

File: 1664395816661.jpeg (48.76 KB, 600x622, FdhFvs7XEAAELcu.jpeg)

A girl I asked out wants to bring a friend on our date…

We met on a dating site. I thought I was being direct with my intentions. Has this happened to anyone and how did you handle it?

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 08:13:20 PM No. 291088

>>291083
>when I imagined myself in a family dynamic playing with my schoolmates I was always the cat or an inanimate object
Me too kek. Also if friends wanted to play with dolls I would play the boyfriend character.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 08:26:36 PM No. 291094

>>291087
Maybe she's just making sure you're not a catfish or a creep?

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 08:32:38 PM No. 291095

>>291001
No one I think. If any of my classmates did, it was a small amount of very "queer" ones thinking I was non-binary adjacent. My friends all thought I wasn't and I thought I wasn't too until a few years after high school was over. I think normie women/girls don't see sexuality in their friends, and many are asexual/bisexual without much divide at all, compared to men/boys. Makes having a sex drive difficult socially unless there's a moid involved somehow.

If I were a teenager in the 2000s maybe I would get more "lesbian" comments. Most of my classmates didn't use that word much at all and that decade seems to be when lesbians were in my country's media the most. Though I remember hearing about a tight-knit lesbian group that used social media to talk to other lesbians in the whole school district.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 08:38:22 PM No. 291098

>>291094
Maybe though we've already been sending morning selfies and did a video chat to talk to each other.

a 09/28/22 (Wed) 09:01:07 PM No. 291101

sorry. need to vent. i’m such a useless lesbian with no sexual experience with a painful sad longing over women. i desperately crave physical contact and sex, but just don’t understand how or where to look for lesbian women in my city (in a post-soviet county). fuck

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 09:26:09 PM No. 291113

>>291101
Nice of you to doxx yourself, fujo themlet.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 09:37:30 PM No. 291117

>>291101
Holy shit your autistic furry art on VK with big erect dicks. Also just on June 5 this year you self described as NBLM accompanied with dick art. Oh my fucking god get out of this thread you stupid straight asshole.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 09:44:52 PM No. 291118

>>291101
I'm gonna do you the kindness of not posting your twitter and face on here but you got real issues if you think you're a lesbian while worshipping moids.

Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed) 11:19:51 PM No. 291140

>>290630
How are things going now nonnie? How exciting it is to feel that way ♥

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 12:21:47 AM No. 291158

>>291118
Post, I wanna laugh at the bisexual fujo.

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 01:37:41 AM No. 291201

>>291001
they all thought i was asexual or super shy. i just wanted to be a successful career woman who maybe got married but the "who" never really came up in my mind. i barely dated as a kid and the longest was with a guy friend i had no feelings for where if we kissed id wipe my mouth when he wasnt looking because i was disgusted without fully understanding it. my family wanted the classic straight daughter while my mom was very lesbophobic which scared me when i started falling for my best friend at 13. then another girl at 16, 18. i kept thinking maybe i was bi and there just wasnt a good enough looking guy except models or celebrities didnt even matter to me. couldnt relate at all to the gushing the ladies in my family did.

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 02:06:06 AM No. 291214

>>291088
Yeah, I always felt uncomfortable being the mom. So I always wanted to be the cat since I was scared of dogs.
Another interesting thing is that always loud/bossy/dominant type of girls would always want to be my friends who I suspect are all major lesbians now. I was only confessed to these types and until this day I always have agressive/dominant woman who try to get to know me. I don't know what it is, I asked my friends and they say I'm really "soft" looking. I don't really think I look butch.
I always knew I wanted to get married but when I thought of the 'groom's' face it was blank and I always imagined a Veil on thier face. Now, I imagine myself as a housewife cooking dinner for my wife, pleasing my wife, and having the house clean for her or ironing her clothes. I come from a really macho culture where I had to learn to do these things for the males in my family, so imagining myself doing this for my future wife always makes doing these things easier.My father always gets served first in our dinner and imagining serving my wife first always fills me up with pride.

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 03:15:58 AM No. 291238

>>290576
they will ban you on lex for this lmao

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 03:18:19 AM No. 291240

>>289762
female hiking groups on meetup.com

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 03:37:55 AM No. 291244

>>291003
u sound hot

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 03:38:53 AM No. 291245

i am tired of orbiting bishits. this past month ive blocked every single bishit in my contact list.

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 03:46:06 AM No. 291247

>>277931
> Was this attraction? Who cares!

lmfaooo these people are so retarded

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 05:12:25 AM No. 291255

>>291244
I don't feel like it. I was doing fine before dating apps became really popular. Either it's because I randomly got ugly after 20, because I lost my overlyconfident attitude or the popularity of gnc women evaporated. Yet I still get treated like a fuckboy/girl who is talking to 20 women at the same time.

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 05:16:11 PM No. 291353

Is it just me or does other nonas feel extra bruise toward your ego when your bisexual ex moves on with a guy

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 06:27:31 PM No. 291368

>>291238
AYRT, Lex is full of queerios so of course they would, but I thought nonny meant more normie apps like Tinder. I've seen women try to be subtle about wanting to date women or TIF women with that wording.

Anonymous 09/29/22 (Thu) 10:54:48 PM No. 291430

Has anyone used that female-only social app Giggle? I downloaded it once after sending a selfie and it seemed boring, but I heard in an interview with the creator that it has a dating app section, is it any good?

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 03:46:03 AM No. 291460

A girl I went on 5 dates with ghosted me and I have no idea what I did wrong. I laid my head on her shoulder at a movie and I thought she was feeling it too but I think I scared her away. She won’t text me back for the last week. Wtf is wrong with me? I’m 19 and haven’t had a long term relationship yet but I don’t think I did anything super weird?? I just wanted to be close to her during Top Gun.

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 04:02:30 AM No. 291462

>>291460
It definitely wasn't the shoulder thing nonna. It may be because the lives of 19 year olds change day to day and can be turbulent. She may just've thought to herself that dating shouldn't be in her schedule. I'd suggest trying for someone else, but do expect ghosting/sudden change of plans. She really shouldn't ghost and just say up front what's going on though, it's a dick move

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 04:14:21 AM No. 291464

File: 1664511261849.jpeg (27.06 KB, 273x275, 5A9F2557-1C1D-44A5-AFE7-B61238…)

>>291462
Thank you so much. I kind of obsess on things that I think I did wrong but I know logically it’s probably just out of my control. You helped put me at ease.

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 06:52:16 AM No. 291473

I wish I had a butch4butch friend who was also interested in stealing the costumes from Interview With a Vampire, so we can pretend to be an old timey dramatic vampire couple for Halloween.

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 02:13:20 PM No. 291521

>>291473
the woman you're dreaming about is definitely out there. i would give my left buttcheck to have a gf that wears Ouji style with me lel

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 03:51:22 PM No. 291542

File: 1664553081942.jpg (87.19 KB, 600x900, tumblr_0614a1febd45a17776f8a18…)

>>291521
I'm more on the fem side but I dress ouji too. I bought this set years ago and haven't even worn it.

One of my dreams is a girlfriend/wife to dress ouji or any egl related clothes. My ex and me loved vkei and I'd love to meet another woman who liked it just as much as I did and shared similar interests.

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 04:03:48 PM No. 291548

File: 1664553828207.jpg (31.98 KB, 283x418, f2ff40c681450a57bcd274d91946ec…)

>>291521
AYRT, yeah I don't think I can pull Ouji off, I'm not petite in the slightest kek (bit of a linebacker situation). I was more thinking of Aristocrat or something along those lines.

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 11:27:49 PM No. 291615

>>291548
NTA but I unironically wish I too had a butch4butch girlfriend I could dress up like this too, I just want to have a cringe anime bishounen yaoi larp I never got to experience as a teenager and completely missed out on.

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 11:43:58 PM No. 291619

>>291615
NAYRT but same. I have a hunch there's a lot of us reformed aristo vkei butch4butch lesbians floating around in like spaces but we're all too shy to speak up kek. Imagine, you and your butch gf dressed to the frilly tailored nines keeping each other warm while standing outside in line for a Kamijo concert…

Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri) 11:51:34 PM No. 291620

>>291619
>we're all too shy to speak up
I often feel like I get branded as a repressed fake lesbian for being into butch4butch because apparently a masculine/androgynous woman equals man and two of them together just gives a bad name for lesbians for being too unnatural and wicked. Fuck them all I just want a tall butch gf to be my knight and treat me as her prince while we laugh at others seething over our Aiden degeneracy.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 01:07:32 AM No. 291628

>>291619
That was me and my exs dream to go to a kamijo concert together lol the pain. It’s hard to even find a normal gf in concerts since many fangirl over them hard so it’s hard to know who is lesbian and who is not. Question: has anyone had any luck finding dates in concerts?

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 01:42:03 AM No. 291637

>>291628
No dates but my first lesbian experience was after a concert actually, just making out. It was a vkei concert at an anime con many many years ago. Your points about fangirls is true, though at the same time I feel like given the nature of vkei with all its genderbending it probably lends itself to more gay women in the scene or at a show. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking lol

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 05:00:18 AM No. 291667

>>291548
your pic is Takarazuka Revue, yeah? supreme taste

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 05:22:04 AM No. 291674

>>291620
>apparently a masculine/androgynous woman equals man and two of them together just gives a bad name for lesbians for being too unnatural and wicked
It's basically treated as being double gay. From the faggot butch essay:
>Everyone understands femme on femme, even though you don’t see it often because it doesn’t read queer, you know, but it’s in the first images of ‘lesbian love’ most of us see, in porn or on television. Two long haired pretty girls smooching in a daring fashion wherever they happen to be. No one’s threatened by that, not the dykes, not the men, nobody, but if I want to kiss my butch anywhere, I’d be damned sure of my audience, or better yet, better be sure we don’t have one.
Like I'm pretty sure the t4t gayden trend comes from how unaccepted butch4butch is. That is the most retarded thing within the "community" honestly, butch is seen as practically a man, but butch4butch is bad, meanwhile everyone just loves gay scrotes. Same thing with butch4both, you get treated with the suspicion which bi scrotes should be getting, but even they don't get that much shit.
>Fuck them all I just want a tall butch gf to be my knight and treat me as her prince while we laugh at others seething over our Aiden degeneracy.
I want to be extra retarded and follow the steps of courtly love
>Attraction to the lady, usually via eyes/glance
>Worship of the lady from afar
>Declaration of passionate devotion
>Virtuous rejection by the lady
>Renewed wooing with oaths of virtue and eternal fealty
>Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire (and other physical manifestations of lovesickness)
>Heroic deeds of valor which win the lady's heart
>Consummation of the secret love
>Endless adventures and subterfuges avoiding detection
I don't know which adventures and heroic deeds yet though, I'm working on that.
>>291667
Yup, I wish more theater troupes like that existed.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 07:22:03 AM No. 291701

>>291542
>>291548
>>291619
My wife and I are like this, I just had to put a little bit of effort into getting her into the stuff I like and she liked it enough to want to participate too, and now we both dress up and watch our vkei concert dvds together and go to concerts. I think maybe the aristocrat/ouji versailles vkei butch gf of your dreams is closer to becoming a reality than you think.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 07:32:38 AM No. 291703

>>291674
I am sadly going through your fantasy right now by getting rejected and pretending to be a prince's, it isn't as fun as it sounds.
>>291701
You're living the dream and I want to follow those aspirations. My relationship was magical because they were already super into it. Which concerts have both of you gone together.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 07:44:09 AM No. 291705

File: 1664610249342.gif (227.07 KB, 128x128, 1646334476414.gif)

I have a date today for the first time in like four years and she's really cute. I'm so fucking nervous!!!

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 09:23:07 AM No. 291719

>>291703
wifeanon. I’m the Lady Oscar sperg from the ff thread if you (or anyone from this conversation tbh) want to dm? Mostly local shows in the metal scene though.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 10:26:54 AM No. 291725

>>291674
It's wild how unacceptable and incomprehensible butch4butch is, I know the topic comes up in these threads a lot and non-b4b must be sick of it but it's such a huge issue and forces a lot of butches into being into femmes exclusively just because they feel alienated enough already, they don't want any more trouble.
>I'm pretty sure the t4t gayden trend comes from how unaccepted butch4butch is.
That's imo exactly what fed the entire trend and it pains me to witness anons even on this site call then "straight girls who only larp as men because they couldn't get one themselves". Like so many people enforce the tranny tier mindset that as a lesbian you must be attracted to only hyperfeminine things like spinny skirts and long hair, or at the very minimum the 70's polilez sweater and jeans attire or you're "straight or bi in denial". I'm a butch4both myself so I like femmes too, but nothing makes my heart race as much as a handsome, cool, masculine butch who looks like she could press me against a wall.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 10:35:11 AM No. 291726

>>291725
Unfortunately it seems it has always been like that. I remember reading Stone Butch Blues (major disappointment tbh btw) and characters often went on diatribes on how while femme4femme is hot (but only as a performance) butch4butch is wrong and means one of them isn't a "real butch", to make it even worse being butch or femme mattered more to those characters than even biological sex. A butch dating a drag queen or mtf tranny (the protagonist actually ends up with a mtf) was seen as more acceptable and making more sense than two butches.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 11:28:00 AM No. 291730

I used to really aspire to be butch4butch, and I still wish I was sometimes, but I’m painfully femme and don’t think I can change that. I love and appreciate butches so much and I hope they know that.
It really fucks me up how it’s never good enough for some people though. Butch4butch is fake and faggy and also secretly straight, butch4femme is heteronormative and secretly straight, femme4femme is too male gazey and obviously for moid attention so secretly straight. It feels like there’s no winning sometimes.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 12:00:56 PM No. 291735

>>291725
>Like so many people enforce the tranny tier mindset that as a lesbian you must be attracted to only hyperfeminine things like spinny skirts and long hair, or at the very minimum the 70's polilez sweater and jeans attire or you're "straight or bi in denial".
I think it's because there is genuinely a portion of the population who bases their attraction mainly on masculinity or femininity, rather than sex and then assumes that is how sexual orientation works for everybody. They see being a lesbian as just being into femininity and women just happen to be more often feminine. So you get situations like >>291726 talks about in Stone Butch Blues. Same way you'll see supposed femmes on lchat saying they'd rather screw a HSTS TiM than a butch nobody asked, but uhm ok thanks for the info. Add polilez shit and cultural feminism to that and then not only is being attracted to masculine women not seen as lesbian, but neither is a masculine woman. Despite the old ass stereotype of lesbians being butch, people would faster think a masculine woman wants to be a man, than that she's a lesbian. Straight people already bought into this shit for even longer, because "straight" scrotes are barely attracted to women, just the idea of hyperfemininity. So no wonder the transition from "same sex attraction" to "same gender attraction" went so seamlessly and so many people seem comfortable with gaslighting the rest about it. Sorry for the schizobabble, but it's just all connected.
>I'm a butch4both myself so I like femmes too, but nothing makes my heart race as much as a handsome, cool, masculine butch who looks like she could press me against a wall.
Same and I don't really hide it, both are great for different reasons. I just wish people weren't so weird about it. The same community who will call us too masculine the whole time, will then turn around and put your masculinity on trial. However, is there anything more masculine than homoerotic wrestling with another butch? I think not.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 12:24:12 PM No. 291740

>>291735
LChat posters are weird as fuck honestly. How many of them even are actually lesbians? Their obsession with femme4femme and constant racebaiting is insane.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 02:04:49 PM No. 291754

>>291719
Thank you I'll send you a dm! I appreciate it immensly.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 03:56:44 PM No. 291769

>>291740
Lchat gives Kinsey 5 bisexual and with the sheer amount of celebrity waifu posting that takes place there, I feel like I'm right.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 09:18:42 PM No. 291837

>>291769
ntayrt but 100% I've been going on there lately because it's been kind of dead here and omg the way they stalk celebrities and keep track of who they follow and unfollow on instagram is insane. And yesterday I just wanted to find lesbian youtubers but instead its a fucking deep dive into a select few youtubers they are obsessed with. Then the lesbian instagramers are just hot women some moid keeps posting nonstop. I just wanted to see what they could be talking about kirsten stewart for so many pages and they saw her at a restaurant and then deepdived into who opened that club and why he wanted her there and who he was. I think they're all moids/bihets that like to larp on there. Most of the lesbian on there complain about them but nothing changes.

Like that one post on lesbian pornstars and how they started fighting about the jelly filled girls. One anon said a lesbian wouldn't be in porn and I got to agree with that unless shes really desperate or fucked in the head. I like how that one I fell in love with my stepsister fanfiction got locked kek.

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 11:02:32 PM No. 291869

>>291726
I swear that fucking book is the reason why so many young butch lesbians romanticize mtf x butch lesbian relationships and why they think they have so much in common with them..it’s so fucking disgusting and I’m just sick of it

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 11:12:37 PM No. 291875

>>291869
Sorry same anon I’m gonna vent a bit more, my gf (she’s butch I’m femme) loves that book and she’s told me before she relates to mtf trannies more than other lesbians and it just hurts.. she dated a mtf before me as well so it just makes me feel like shit

Anonymous 10/01/22 (Sat) 11:51:27 PM No. 291883

>>291875
I am sorry anon.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 05:00:18 AM No. 291942

>>291837
I feel like I sometimes spot LChatters on here (in general not just this thread), based on how they seemingly have their own lingo and that the retardation suddenly goes beyond what is normal for the farm.
>>291869
It's true that gnc homosexual people probably have some similar childhood experiences, but I doubt any lesbian has anything in common with an AGP, unless it's Kikomi of course. I feel like Feinberg pulled that storyline out of her ass, just had no clue what she was talking about and hadn't come across those types (yet?).

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 06:39:15 AM No. 291948

File: 1664692754998.jpeg (73.56 KB, 736x1357, A7AE3B8A-4AA5-4DEE-BEBD-FB25C4…)

I have to rant about my first ever “covid lesbian relationship” So I have know I was gay since I was eleven. I also have a pretty high sex drive and am pretty direct. I’m also fucking naive and retarded and easily get strung along. So I met a girl on Tinder who had a lesbian flag and everything on her profile. She was also a “queer lesbian” but I didn’t think much of this at the time. We match and have a fun conversation. I take her on 2 dates and I’m thinking it’s going well. She tells me she discovered she was lesbian over Covid on Tik Tok. She read some thing called the comp het document and at the time I didn’t know wtf that was. I wish I could go back and tell myself to fucking GET AWAY. The third date I try and hold her hand and she fucking recoils so fast. No problem I don’t want to force something so I back off. I later try and put my arm around her at a movie. She scoots away. She later texts me all sorts of flirty things though so I’m fucking confused. She basically flirts with me and talks about me like we’re full on dating on her social media. We still haven’t even kissed. It’s entirely performative. It was so weird nonnas. I help her move apartments 3 times and she really only took advantage of me for homework help or helping her lift shit. I don’t know wtf I was thinking I should have just backed off way before this. I then find out she had a boyfriend before that she had full on sex with and she enjoyed it but it was all “comp het” and she was an asexual lesbian the whole time. This is her way of explaining why she won’t fucking touch me in public. She’s apparently asexual but not aromantic so she can uwu flirt with me but never even hold hands?? At that point I was finally fed up we’d been not even “dating” for 6 months. Just a weird limbo. I was moving to a nearby town anyway which was a good excuse to lose contact and she hasn’t even tried to reach out so whatever. I think she’s a she/they now and dating an MTF or something. Jfc never going near a “queer” (but literally straight) woman ever fucking again.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 07:52:34 AM No. 291956

>>291948
This is why I'm wary of going on dates. This is a repeat of the bicurious epidemic post-"I kissed a girl". I'm not sure my self esteem can handle that shit all over again. Only this time it's even worse and more asexual and sapphic cottagecore shit than before.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 08:14:16 AM No. 291959

I just hope everything works out… I hope someone else didn't already steal her heart. Ah I want to cry.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 08:59:16 AM No. 291962

>>291740
>>291769
LChat's entire userbase is there just to thirstpost about and skinwalk celebrities, that's literally the entire forum. A ton of girls with k-pop star PFPs hollering about their favourite waifus and how manufactured Korean pop sensation X is absolutely in a hidden lesbian relationship with another beautiful female celebrity because, I don't know, their fanfic said so and because they were their "lesbian awakening". The off the rocker hate they have for butches alone makes me stay away.

>>291948
"Asexual lesbian" is just another word for polilez. They're the ones who kept driving lesbians to be as pure and nonsexual as possible in the 70's only to preserve their seats in the homosexual table. Sorry you got roped into this, nonnie.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 10:50:24 AM No. 291969

File: 1664707824155.gif (726.31 KB, 210x130, 2E3D548A-0299-4447-9576-85EE2A…)

So I went on a date with a girl and she seems really nice. We have similar aspirations, hobbies and got along really well. However, I'm worried I'm setting myself up for disappointment and heartbreak. She claims to be "pan" but says that she doesn't like men after attempting to date a few. Said she could never feel love towards a "cis" man. We both had similar experiences with being former tifs but got out of it fot the same reason and she agreed when I talked about how stupid trooning out is but later said some handmaiden-y "true trans" things anyways. I think I like her but I'm scared I'm getting myself into something stupid because I'm too desperate and touch-starved to be rational.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 12:12:59 PM No. 291977

>>291969
It's a good thing that you're keeping your eyes open for red flags and potential incompatibilities. That alone shows that even though you're lonely lately, you are willing to be rational and protect yourself. To me she sounds like a typical terminally online lesbian who got tricked into the tranny cult. Saying outright she can't be with a "cis" man, to me, is basically proof she is actually lesbian. She may have desisted her gender identity but stayed in the cult for other reasons (friends, fear of being cancelled, etc). Maybe the brainwashing was very effective. Now, none of this is your problem to fix. You're not required to enlighten her or anybody, and if you plan to continue the relationship you have some choices to make.
>Are you going to push your gender critical values and try to peak her?
>If not, how will you cope with the misalignment of your values?
>Do you want a long term, exclusive relationship with her, or are you open to something less serious and more casual?
And of course consider if it would simply be best to break it off early. None of these questions have a right or wrong answer, the choice is truly yours. I hope you'll make healthy decisions and treat yourself kindly, first and foremost, without letting impulsivity, infatuation, or desperation steer the ship.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 02:12:51 PM No. 291997

>>291959
Go get her! It could be you who steals her heart.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 02:39:15 PM No. 292004

>>291735
>Straight people already bought into this shit for even longer, because "straight" scrotes are barely attracted to women, just the idea of hyperfemininity. So no wonder the transition from "same sex attraction" to "same gender attraction" went so seamlessly and so many people seem comfortable with gaslighting the rest about it.
Well said, I had always thought about this but couldn't quite put it into coherent words but you're absolutely right. The gender overriding sex shit is so prevalent in heterosexual relationships like a man is seen as a closeted gay if he likes masculine women and a woman identifies herself as "queer" if she likes effeminate men. Explains a whole lot about how easy it was for TRAs to peddle the gender ideology.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 04:02:42 PM No. 292016

>>291962
Every "asexual lesbian" I knew that wasn't polilez were either really traumatized and/or had medical issues. I'm personally skeptical of the asexual thing, but it only makes sense as a trauma response. I honestly don't think anyone should date someone who calls themselves an asexual because in my experience they either act like kids and think even kissing/hugging is gross, or they're weird nymphomaniac-sociopaths who say they like having sex but are asexual because they're not attracted to who they have sex with (?!?!).

>>291969
She sounds like me before I fully unlearned libfem, since I used to be a transmedicalist.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 05:13:23 PM No. 292025

I have an interesting experience. When I was a teen I thought I was not interested in sex at all, I guess asexual today, but back in that time I didn't have a lot of labels. I didn't feel any romantic feelings for anyone or anything and was extremely repressed. I'm sure it was an emotional response to stress. In my mid twenties I fell in love with another woman and I realized why I didn't date or engage in normal teenage behaviors, it was because I hadn't realized who I was. I also started to master bate and have sexual fantasies in my mid twenties about woman and I felt comfortable in doing so. In a relationship I think I'd let my partner know that I want to wait before we have sex because my libido isn't that high compared to other people and I can definently live without it.
I am 29 and I still have no sexual experience or kisses and I'm saving it for someone special. I only have had unrequited love thus far, will this be a problem to other women? I am not experienced but I'm willing to learn. I feel 'old' since I'm going in my 30s and having no experience and I wouldn't want it to be a burden to the woman I'm dating.

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 06:44:54 PM No. 292031

>>292016
Honestly I do not care if people with low libidos want to identify as asexual or not, they usually aren't the ones in the LGBT community being sex pest demanding others to sleep with them so they're fine to me. I've gone through periods of my life where nothing was sexually appealing to me, during that time I empathized a lot with asexuality because there was no other way to describe myself

>>292025
We have very similar experiences nonnie, though I only just turned 24 myself.

I've never dated or gone for anyone I liked irl because of my anxieties over it. As a teen I thought I was asexual because I never had any attraction to guys like my friends did, but I also didn't hold a particular attraction to women either. I think some of it was internalized and embarrassment because people thinking I was gay earlier in life because of my interest, I didn't want to feel like I proving those people 'right'. It was only in my 20s that I considered women as an option, seeing certain types of women makes my heart pound and I actually feel an attraction to them. Ashamed to say I did date a guy briefly out of obligation, I thought someone had to like me first in order to date, but there was no chemistry between us, not even a kiss. I spent my teen years avoidant on the topic of dating so now I have experience with it as an adult and feel lost for it. I wouldn't hold it against any woman on how much/little sexual experience she has unless it was a situation where being a 'pure uwu' virgin was being fetishized.

You aren't alone nonni, hope you find someone soon ♥

Anonymous 10/02/22 (Sun) 07:27:20 PM No. 292038

>>292031
AYRT, I agree with you (I struggle with PTSD and mental issues that impact my sexual interest), that's why even though I don't see labels like "asexual" or "aromantic" to be natural orientations, they can be used as tools to describe what someone is looking for. In theory an asexual lesbian would just want to date or be in a romantic relationship with no sex, and an aromantic lesbian would want the opposite, but most asexuals I know are either in the "severe PTSD" camp or just weird porn addicts who are dissociated from the target of their "stimulation".

Anonymous 10/03/22 (Mon) 05:55:49 AM No. 292100

>>292038
Aromanticism is a bit more complicated considering romantic love is literally an idealistic social construct that changes with every era. I'm not repulsed by doing things which are considered romantic, I just don't think that you can only do that with "the one". The belief used to be that true romance couldn't exist within a marriage, a cold blooded contract, now you're expected to show you care by getting married. This is a switch which happened in the last century, not naturally ingrained either. Having to parade your relationship online is an even newer phenomenon, the extreme suspicion, stalking and boundary crossing behavior which is considered normal in relationships nowadays. How fast you're expected to move to show you care. Being expected to be jealous to show how you care. I just don't get the feelings which seemingly drive others to such behaviors. So it doesn't necessarily mean that an aromantic lesbian would just want to hook up or automatically has an aversion to any activities which could be construed as romantic. It has more to do with just not wanting what is considered nowadays a standard romantic relationship with all the expectations that come with it and just not having the extremely strong feelings which drive others to such behaviors.

Anonymous 10/03/22 (Mon) 12:42:40 PM No. 292132

>>292100
>It has more to do with just not wanting what is considered nowadays a standard romantic relationship with all the expectations that come with it and just not having the extremely strong feelings which drive others to such behaviors.
Not being possessive is not a lack of romantic attraction. Being disinterested in monogamy is not a lack of romantic attraction. Split attraction is not even a real concept, sex and romance are interconnected. "Aromantic" is not even close to being as real as asexual which itself is also not a natural orientation, just an autism or trauma thing.

Anonymous 10/03/22 (Mon) 12:43:39 PM No. 292133

>>292025
I'm about your age and I wouldn't mind an inexperienced partner. People are so ready to rush into sex just for the experience or because they feel they "should" (which to me signals poor impulse control, susceptibility to peer pressure, and conformist values) that I greatly appreciate a woman who knows what she wants and is willing to wait.

Anonymous 10/03/22 (Mon) 02:57:36 PM No. 292147

>>292031
>>292038
People using "asexual" and "sex repulsed" interchangeably is just muddying the waters. What I see as "asexual" is just the lack of sex drive with no desire for sexual things, experiences, thoughts, stimulation etc., not sexually traumatized or "likes porn but doesn't want sex". It could be a hormonal imbalance, a genetical thing or a neurodivergent issue like autism. I get that people love labels to describe themselves but it's ultimately harmful to set a fictional identity for yourself, a lot of "asexuals" would genuinely benefit from therapy when it comes to their issues with intimacy but saying this gets you branded as a corrective rapist simply for suggesting that maybe there's a chance you could improve your life by facing your trauma. As for the "lesbians" that blame their previous male relationships on comphet and claim that they're asexual because they can't have sex with women, we all know what's their deal because we aren't dumb.

Anonymous 10/03/22 (Mon) 03:29:21 PM No. 292151

>>292132
I didn't mean to imply that I see it as an orientation, but more in line with "atheist" or "anarchist", not buying into a social construct. It's not naturally ingrained to want to get married and have the whole list of cultural expectations that come with romantic relationships, nor is it naturally ingrained to not want to get married etc. I'm not arguing for either being naturally ingrained. The concept of romantic love as we know it is fairly new. Is sexual attraction exactly the same thing as what people describe romantic attraction to be? Is it the combination of wanting to be friends and being sexually attracted? What is the extra element? Is it impossible to do things which are considered romantic, outside of a romantic relationship? The concept of it is about as flimsy as gender identity and gender roles. It's a general autism or trauma thing to have a tendency to not have internalized some social constructs, that doesn't mean it's completely ridiculous to not buy into a social construct, just because of that association. Gnc is in a way associated with autism, doesn't mean it's ridiculous to be gnc.
>Being disinterested in monogamy is not a lack of romantic attraction.
Also this has very little to do with whether you want to sleep with one person or multiple. I didn't say polyamory or anything like that. I've been in a fwb before with a best friend and we just happened to not feel like sleeping with other people. Didn't discuss anything or had any expectations. I didn't end up this way through trauma, but that was the most relaxed chill time I've had (she did too from what I've understood) and I do attribute that to not going into official relationship mode and having to deal with the cultural baggage and expectations. So no, I don't see it as an orientation or something you're born with, just more in the sense of "atheist".

Anonymous 10/03/22 (Mon) 11:41:18 PM No. 292218

>>292133
Thank you anon. You made me feel better about being sexually inexperienced. Sometimes my little family members ask me how to kiss thier little bfs and I as the 'auntie' should already know.

I also believe the same thing as you. I feel that what's really attractive to me is for the woman I'm interested to have a high sense of self. I don't care if the other person has had sexual experiences but I want them to have standards and know who they are and very decisive. I also really like people that don't care what others think about them and are very strong and stubborn.

>>292031
Thank you for the encouragement! I hope someday I'll meet someone for me very soon with the same values. Unfortunetly, I have met women that offered me sex from the first meeting and I did confess to them that I wasn't active yet to which made them chase after me more. I thought by telling them they'd understand that I don't want flings but… yes, for me I think it's better to wait. I'm just working on myself like going to the gym and becoming the person I want to be in the inside and the outside.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 12:27:42 AM No. 292224

>>292147
>a lot of "asexuals" would genuinely benefit from therapy when it comes to their issues with intimacy but saying this gets you branded as a corrective rapist simply for suggesting that maybe there's a chance you could improve your life by facing your trauma
The term for that would be "conversion therapy uwu", which is something I see asexuals constantly talk about, because implying they could have PTSD is akin to a slur to them. And it is funny that you mention trauma and therapy, because I've identified as various forms of asexual/aromantic/demisexual/etc. as a result of trauma when I was a teenager, so I went to therapy for it, and when talking about my trauma and issues with intimacy I ironically had therapists suggest that I go online and look into asexual groups. The few times I've talked about gender issues, I had a similar response. Even therapists are too scared to challenge people when it comes to identities.

>>292100
I get where you're coming from, but I used to know aromantics and they chalked up "romantic attraction" to cheesy love songs and movies on TV, which is just entertainment. But they would also date for partnership, say they love their partners, but not romantically. Maybe I don't get it since I've never felt love like that, so I could be "aromantic" in denial lmao (it's more likely I haven't met the right one), but I would consider being into someone sexually and liking them as a person to be a form of love, maybe not the kind where you would get married and live together forever, but it's still love even if it isn't performative romance novel material. It's like how I see a lot of women calling themselves demisexual/romantic or greysexual because they don't like hookups - that's a social standard that not everyone even follows, not a separate sexuality.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 06:55:32 AM No. 292276

>>292224
>Maybe I don't get it since I've never felt love like that, so I could be "aromantic" in denial lmao (it's more likely I haven't met the right one)
Yeah I don't believe "the right one" exists. There is no soulmate, no twinflame, no missing other half. You know the way people experience romantic relationships and crushes and all that in modern times? I have tried talking to old ladies about it, asking them about it. Funny how all that shit didn't exist for everyone yet until it became normal for everyone to have a TV. Was more a thing for artist or writer types. Other than that the description sounds more like a panic attack to them.
>but I would consider being into someone sexually and liking them as a person to be a form of love, maybe not the kind where you would get married and live together forever, but it's still love even if it isn't performative romance novel material.
I think one of the things I object to is that those performative romance actions are almost seen as sex. Something you can only do with one person you know very well and love very much and are in a relationship with. If casual sex exists, why wouldn't casual romance? Like if you do any of those things, you just have to get into an official romantic relationship asap and totally love that person forever and you're just kidding yourself? There are many women I'm sexually attracted to and there are many women I like as a person. For male attracted people I can sort of get "the right one" spiel, because for them it is looking for a needle in a haystack to find any likable scrote. Meanwhile likable women are pretty common, the women being into women part is the rare bit. The rest is more about learning to work together, than some cosmic shit about finding the exact right person with the exact right personality for you and that you have to cling to them like a buoy in the sea and go above and beyond to avoid (perceived) abandonment imo.
>It's like how I see a lot of women calling themselves demisexual/romantic or greysexual because they don't like hookups - that's a social standard that not everyone even follows, not a separate sexuality.
Oh yeah that's why I said in >>292151 that I don't consider it a separate orientation, but more along the lines of atheist, agnostic, anarchist. I just believe romantic love is a social construct to a large degree and I don't want to participate with the modern standards for it. Nor do I want to be pressured by others to uphold those standards. Just not calling it a romantic relationship is what I've found to work. You don't invite yourself to (subconsciously) put up ridiculous standards for yourself or others, or for others to apply those standards to you. There is a certain amount of boundary crossing and unhinged behavior which is expected in relationships, but would never be acceptable in a regular great friendship. Sure you can talk about every little minutiae and try to prevent everyone's brain from applying unrealistic standards, then still in the end be deemed the one who cared less and is a cold hearted villain for not wanting to real time share your GPS location at all times or be paraded around on TikToK or whatever. I don't want any of the shit to happen that happens "in the name of the relationship". All the good stuff imo can also happen in a very good friendship, but then without all the neurosis. People just assume it's about cheating or whether you want to sleep around, because why else would you not want to be subjected to that stuff, you got something to hide? I don't need to be held on a leash and be treated like someone has to be my second FBI agent watching me to prevent me from sleeping with other people. That's why I compare it to atheism, because it reminds me of "why would you do any good things if you don't believe in a god?", I don't need to be in an official romantic relationship to show "good behavior". I personally perform much better actually without having to accept the Sword of Damocles above my head.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 12:13:51 PM No. 292300

>>292276
NTA
I think you're confusing not having words to describe stuff with stuff not existing. "Old ladies" lived in a time where you could rape your wife and it would not even be called rape. Abduction was the only form of courtship in some places even further back in time yet we have a concept of rape and consent now. Would you say these things were "invented" in the same vein? Sometimes we don't have language to describe our needs and wants and feelings. Your same argument could be said of homosexuality, before it became seen as an orientation or acknowledged at all. Did it not exist?

>I think one of the things I object to is that those performative romance actions are almost seen as sex. Something you can only do with one person you know very well and love very much and are in a relationship with. If casual sex exists, why wouldn't casual romance? Like if you do any of those things, you just have to get into an official romantic relationship asap and totally love that person forever and you're just kidding yourself?
You're still just describing finding mainstream romantic expectations too demanding. None of the shitty things you describe about romantic relationships are inherent to romantic relationships. I've had platonic friendships just as toxic. They're just clingy, possessive behaviors. Do you really not see that? Some of us set boundaries and build lives that are enhanced by a partner, not propped up by one. Idk, maybe you're young and surrounded by unhealthy people but seriously your view of relationships comes across as a caricature to me. You're choosing to focus on poor relationships and saying romance is made up. It really is not. I don't love my gf like a bestie that I fuck, and I've lived my entire life being GNC and counter-culture in so many ways. My desire to be by her side for the rest of my life has nothing to do with what conventions are comfortable to fall into.

Tbh it sounds like you're really afraid of losing control.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 12:17:21 PM No. 292302

File: 1664885841043.jpeg (287.89 KB, 1283x721, R (5).jpeg)

> be me, a preteen that hates those cringeass live-action Disney "comedy" shows aimed at preteens.
> groan and mock when friends made me watch them
> That's So Raven premiers, "this one's so funny right anon? finally, something you don't hate!"
> "yeah it's good" but was crushing on both Raven and Chelsea before understanding I experienced TV crushes like my friends got for the uggos from Even Stevens or the sweaty kid from Lizzie McGuire

life was never the same again.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 03:12:13 PM No. 292315

File: 1664896333433.jpeg (20.37 KB, 326x167, 355ACB14-3CD9-4C34-9C7D-1A3282…)

>>291001
All of my friends were convinced I was gay and even my mother gaslit me into thinking I was straight. Well look where we are now…

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 03:15:24 PM No. 292316

>>291705
How was the date?

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 03:38:16 PM No. 292321

>>291001
Yeah I set off peoples' gaydars but not in a "I knew you were a lesbian" kind of way but more in a "I knew there was something off about you" one, like men are immediately more hostile towards me and women are way more curious about me. I can't remember how the hell I realized I was a lesbian growing up in a backwards small city but I must have been around 12-13, but kept denying it until my 20's. I knew what homosexuals were from an early age because I saw them on TV but they were always gay males, never lesbian women unless they were sexualized or being made fun of because this was the early 00's, so I never paid attention to them. I hope teenagers of today have way more representation to help them figure themselves out sooner so they don't go through their teenage years and early adulthood being repressed and thinking they're "just asexual/aromantic" when in actuality they're denying their entire sexuality.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 03:46:23 PM No. 292323

>>292321
>Yeah I set off peoples' gaydars but not in a "I knew you were a lesbian" kind of way but more in a "I knew there was something off about you" one, like men are immediately more hostile towards me and women are way more curious about me. I can't remember how the hell I realized I was a lesbian growing up in a backwards small city but I must have been around 12-13, but kept denying it until my 20's. I knew what homosexuals were from an early age because I saw them on TV but they were always gay males, never lesbian women unless they were sexualized or being made fun of because this was the early 00's, so I never paid attention to them.
Are you me?

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 04:10:11 PM No. 292326

File: 1664899811389.jpg (177.26 KB, 1078x815, spying.jpg)

>>292300
>Would you say these things were "invented" in the same vein?
Just because something is a social construct or invented, doesn't mean it's automatically bad. My point is that the concept of (romantic) love has changed quite a bit over the centuries and just because something is new, doesn't make it automatically better or improved (especially now we have the internet and Disney in everyone's living room). Nor does it automatically reveal something about how this behavior is totally the behavior that is inherent to human nature. I'm also not saying that every old way was automatically better. I'm saying that none of this shit is natural to anyone and we're all just influenced by culture and society and everything around us. Someone isn't automatically broken for not wanting the same things as their peers in their generation. Also this is in no way shape or form comparable to rape apologetics or questioning homosexuality. The definition:
>an intensity and idealization of a love relationship, in which the other is imbued with extraordinary virtue, beauty, etc., so that the relationship overrides all other considerations, including material ones
Are we born with idealizations, are they inherent, or do they change over time? They change and are in many ways similar to gender roles. Way more in line with that, than something immutable like homosexuality, sex etc.
>You're still just describing finding mainstream romantic expectations too demanding.
Yes, did I deny any of that?
>None of the shitty things you describe about romantic relationships are inherent to romantic relationships.
Yes, that is my whole point. However, unless I decide to get with people 10+ years older than me or manage to invent time travel, romantic relationships will never be for me.
>I've had platonic friendships just as toxic.
Sure, difference is that society and the people around you won't punish you as hard for wanting to enforce boundaries in a friendship or for wanting to leave that friendship. You're not expected to give up autonomy and sacrifice everything, you're allowed to have your own life and be separate people.
>Idk, maybe you're young and surrounded by unhealthy people but seriously your view of relationships comes across as a caricature to me.
Yeah, that is my whole point. It's all fine and dandy if older people managed to get their lovely relationship, those were different times with different upbringings, but I have to deal with other zoomers who think it's normal to drop an apple airtag in your bag to track you. I wish it was a fucking joke. In this aspect I don't conform with the rest of my peers. Listen, if you can understand the craziness going on with trans shit and whatever with genz and how technology affects everything, this shouldn't be such a surprise to you and this is not just the direct people around me.
>You're choosing to focus on poor relationships and saying romance is made up.
But it is literally made up, the word itself has to do with idealism, it is literally about something which doesn't exist but which philosophers and artists believed people should strive towards. Which is all very beautiful and I think there's nothing wrong with wanting to do those things and if you do interpret your feelings that way, however it's not for me. You view friendships as below romantic relationships, I don't. I am focusing on positive relationships and all of those have been friendships for me, so I want more of those and no romantic ones, that's all. Actions which are culturally considered romantic are something you can do without being in an official romantic relationship, without believing you have an other half or twin flame.
>Tbh it sounds like you're really afraid of losing control.
Yeah I don't enjoy being stalked, put on a schedule and have a partner act like my parent and I don't want to be expected to act like their parent, because that's what people have decided is normal these days. I'd rather not sacrifice my autonomy and privacy for the sake of an idealistic construct. I don't want to be expected to control people.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 04:46:31 PM No. 292332

>>292326
I don't actually view romantic partnership as below friendship by default. My current relationship I view as above all because she is actually my best friend, we were friends first. I don't think I'm capable of understanding your viewpoint fully as I don't believe in the split attraction model. I've always felt very strong sexual attraction to the women I've had close emotional connections with and so romantic feelings have never been divorced from sex for me.

Anonymous 10/04/22 (Tue) 05:54:42 PM No. 292343

>>292332
There are many women I find sexually attractive, not just the ones I have a close emotional connection with and I've had my share of hookups. I've also done culturally considered romantic things for women without a sexual relationship being involved and I'd have no problem doing those things for strangers too with or without sex being involved. Saying I fell in love with them for a night, in order to say sex and romantic love are always intertwined sounds nice, but kinda downplays what love means. Doesn't it? For me it's not intertwined and I'm not the first one in history to report that and in another time my viewpoint could've been normal. Neither viewpoint is inherent, but that doesn't mean either viewpoint is inherently bad.

Anonymous 10/05/22 (Wed) 12:07:08 PM No. 292483

>>292343
I didn't say I don't find randoms sexually attractive, I said that a strong enough attraction that makes me wanna pursue actual sex is only for women I've also had an emotional connection with. Also didn't say you fell in love, actually. I was describing my own experience and not trying to tell you how you feel, unlike what you sometimes have done with your sweeping statements about how romantic feelings are a manufactured concept, rather than a late-discovery. Maybe it's more that you don't experience them and some people do and have done throughout history, and we didn't have language/convention to define those things before. But this is natural of your age group, carry on.

Anonymous 10/05/22 (Wed) 06:21:35 PM No. 292534

>>291674
>>291725
I wish I had been here when this conversation was going! My wife and I are b4b but I've always been viewed as the "softer" one if that makes sense - she looks like a burly post office butch and I am routinely mistaken for a 12 year old boy. But that's still enough for people to decide I'm the "girl" for whatever reason. Waiters and receptionists always look at her and give her the check, her parents assumed I would stay home while she worked, and my homophobic mother likes to imply that she's controlling and that I'm a battered wife. Ngl I wouldn't mind being her housewife since I do all the cooking anyways. We laugh about this shit a lot because it's so obvious that they're desperate to impose some type of heterosexuality onto our dynamic, but they just don't know what to make of it so they just go with "big one man, little one woman" like the cavemen they are. Oh well, I guess I do like being manhandled by big strong women.
Recently I shaved my head and holy shit, it feels like the dirty looks we get have gone up by at least 50%! Lol it really is funny to watch how reactions to us change just based on my presentation. My hair got long during the pandemic and I noticed a marked decrease in hostility towards us as a couple going about our lives, but as soon as I got a summer cut, street harassment and dirty looks go way up. I guess we're like dyke squared or something. Idk how I feel about describing myself as a faggy dyke in mixed company but it's certainly how I feel most of the time. There's a special kind of disgust for us. People are very weird about seeing two such gnc women in a relationship. I kinda don't mind being such a weirdo though, it's freeing in a way.

Anonymous 10/05/22 (Wed) 09:28:06 PM No. 292557

>>292534
I support you and your wife anon. More power to you and I hope you guys are happy for a very long time. It's good that you feel so free, for me it's the opposite. My family are very traditional Latin American family and they assume that since I am a very feminine woman that I'm going through a phase yet I'm almost 30. I dress even more feminine to let them know that thier perception of lesbians is wrong and that regardless of what I like, i know what I am.

Anonymous 10/06/22 (Thu) 02:14:42 AM No. 292575

For those of you who managed to find relationships without apps, how exactly did you manage to meet SSA women in the first place? I've been trying to scope out LGB scenes but there hardly aren't any in a red-leaning swing state and I don't really have money to move to a blue state or the city anytime soon (although I do plan to, it's just not feasible). My local library has things like D&D and book clubs, and I'm considering tapping back into my high school interests like roleplay and anime/books just have some common ground with non-"normies", are those kinds of spaces a good start to find women in the 25+ range?

Anonymous 10/06/22 (Thu) 03:57:29 AM No. 292591

>>292575
What state are you in nonnie? I'm also in ared leaning state and can't escape this hell :')

Anonymous 10/06/22 (Thu) 03:24:10 PM No. 292660

>>292591
I don't want to deanon myself, lmao, sorry. I'm already worried that people I know are seeing this and recognize me. I like the people and the place itself, but not the politics, and the fact it's so hard to find a relationship is frustrating when a girlfriend and a higher min wage are the only reasons I'd leave. The women I match with on apps just want their ego stroked more than an actual date, so I'm trying to figure out "gay coded" in-person hobbies I can go to instead.

Anonymous 10/09/22 (Sun) 05:47:25 AM No. 293181

I feel like butches hate femmes more and more and I can’t even blame them. Doesn’t stop me from feeling like shit about it though

Anonymous 10/09/22 (Sun) 09:11:17 AM No. 293198

>>293181
Why do you feel this way? I've never gotten those vibes, most butches in my experience are attracted to femmes.

Anonymous 10/09/22 (Sun) 07:48:31 PM No. 293265

Stupid question but I'm ESL and what is the major difference between tomboy and butch ? Like tomboys is only for girls and young women, or like butch is more masc than tomboy ?

>>291548
Incredible taste nonna, we need more lesbian in glittery fancy pseudo historic gnc outfits

Anonymous 10/09/22 (Sun) 10:59:33 PM No. 293289

>>293265
"Tomboy" generally is geared towards prepubescent girls and is a form of temporarily socially acceptable form of gender non conformity. If you actually stay that way and don't feminize, that's how you end up being called lesbophobic slurs during puberty. The women who continue to identify with the term "tomboy", generally feminized enough to avoid this and didn't resent the pressure to "give up" and are usually not lesbians. "Tomboy" has the implication that female masculinity is immature, if used on an adult.
"Butch" is used by adult samesex attracted women. It's not defined by being a more masc aesthetic than true "tomboy", but by being literally more mature and grown up than the "tomboy". It implies acceptance of matured female masculinity in adulthood and you cannot divorce it from SSA, unlike "tomboy". "Butch" has a rich history within lesbianism and isn't exclusive to Anglophones, since even 1920's Germany knew of the equivalent Kesser Vater (KV). "Butch" has certain connotations based on roles within lesbian barculture from the 1940's, but a lot of the black and white stuff is gone and not applicable. However most myths and negative stories come from this time, which causes the word to have stigma attached to it within the lesbian community and outside of it.
"Tomboy" on the other hand is a straight product, which comes from the belief that gnc before puberty will make girls be better at giving birth and be stronger mothers to compete with "outsiders". It was a reaction to the feigning illness and avoiding all activity, which was recommended to girls before the "tomboy" trend of the 1850's. Which is why to this day straight people prefer the word "tomboy" and seem to be okay with girls being gnc right up until puberty.
The big difference is up to personal preference, but personally I really only associate the term "tomboy" with prepubescent girls, maybe early teens, but not young adult women (except weird tradwives who insist they're suuuuch "tomboys" and people who think "butch" is an insult).

Anonymous 10/10/22 (Mon) 01:04:12 AM No. 293302

>>293198
Sorry nona, I was just reading negative shit and being emotional.

Anonymous 10/10/22 (Mon) 05:02:11 AM No. 293323

>>293289
Thank you for the great explanation nonna!

Anonymous 10/12/22 (Wed) 03:39:15 PM No. 293691

File: 1665589155502.jpg (21.33 KB, 255x222, 1506571005275.jpg)

Do yous ever feel like straight women would treat you special because they assume you like them and they want your attention/to be liked?
i have such low standards that honestly i would let this happen

Anonymous 10/12/22 (Wed) 03:56:19 PM No. 293693

>>293691
Yes, it's a weirdly symbiotic relationship I've had with some straight women. They seem to value compliments from me more than when they would come from one of their straight friends. They assume that their straight friends are just being nice and assume the compliments and attention from a lesbian come from genuine attraction, so it gives them a bigger self esteem boost. I have let this happen several times and it's at least better than a straight woman being lesbophobic and not daring to interact with me at all, when we have to. Though I'm not sure I'd recommend it, because it does mess with your head when they inevitably hit you with that "if only you were a guy" spiel. It's like you get unironically treated like an asexual female boyfriend. Though I feel proud that I got a straight woman into lifting, instead of starving herself, because scrotes cannot handle women with bigger thighs than them.

Anonymous 10/12/22 (Wed) 09:13:33 PM No. 293739

>>293693
Ah, your explanation makes sense. Like maybe they want someone who likes women to validate them? But we're safer than a man. Yeah, asexual female boyfriend lmaoo
I'm not pressed though, it's not lesbophobic, just a weird dynamic.
Not related but it's sweet you got her into lifting. I deadass know successful, gorgeous middle aged women (my mum's friend) who is scared of the calories in some fruits, looks painfully thin, and gets painful full body hair removal done, whilst her man is HIDEOUS. Maybe I'm seething about women not picking me kek but also it does just fill my heart to see women looking after their health and living free. A big role model for me was a gnc straight woman, running a business with her husband, trying many sports and mentoring us younger girls, living messy, laughing a lot. I love seeing women live like that.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 05:26:08 AM No. 293798

>>293693
"asexual female boyfriend" is exactly how I feel like my relationship with my best friend is right now, oh my god

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 05:48:34 AM No. 293799

Sick of my attraction to masculinity being seen as an entry point for debating if I'm not actually bi or other muddy waters. The simple answer to every question I get is that I'm straight out not attracted to men, and am repulsed by dick, while sexual attraction to women is easy for me without question. But I'm not allowed to say that without sounding transphobic and getting lynched. So I guess my mysterious attraction to masculinity that somehow excludes everybody but butch women will always be a point of confusion for others.

On this note, I wonder if I'll ever be able to have a butch terfy girlfriend. I'm pretty career-driven so in the current cultural climate where I live, I can't afford to be openly or even privately transphobic without risking losing everything. It's so stupid.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 05:57:53 AM No. 293800

>>293799
>>293799
Wish there was something i could do about this as well, but the closest any of us can get is ignoring tinder profiles with pronouns I guess

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 06:51:08 AM No. 293806

>>293800
NTA I once found a femme on Lex of all places who said she's a traditional radfem. She also seemed very cultured and interesting. Guess what? She's a trans inclusive xenofeminist and "traditional" referred to her actually expecting a butch to do the full roleplay.
>>293739
>Maybe I'm seething about women not picking me kek but also it does just fill my heart to see women looking after their health and living free.
Oh I know I'm like a pickme for women, a massive simp. My seething and resentment is geared towards scrotes for taking beautiful women with a heart of gold for granted. Scrotes have the privilege that the majority of women are het and they are abusing it. Raising women's self esteem and standards is my revenge.
Though I do feel like a stereotype over it, typical butch simping for hets. Well idk where other lesbians are hiding while waiting for the troon menace to be over and my "visibility" has mostly just attracted lesbophobia, gross bi scrotes or weirdly interested het women who give me a tiny little taste of what it feels like to be wanted and appreciated. Oh and the occassional BPDchan, which I'm still reeling over.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 07:02:57 AM No. 293807

>>293806
wtf is a xenofeminist

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 07:18:08 AM No. 293808

>>293807
Something about how artificial wombs and technological process will automatically get rid of patriarchy. They're big into transhumanism, so also very big on the trans shit and consider technology the road to gender abolition. It's accelerationist feminism basically.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 11:25:10 AM No. 293817

>>293691
Yes. Anon here >>293693 explained how it is pretty well so I don't need to repeat her words. It's ultimately pretty depressing to know that you're seen as the "asexual female boyfriend" keeping her company until Nigel gives her attention but like said, at least it's better than her being straight out lesbophobic. But it's in no way healthy to get stuck being just a confidence booster for straight women and my experiences with that have only made me jaded and unable to trust women to be sincerely attracted to me as a person.

>>293806
>Scrotes have the privilege that the majority of women are het and they are abusing it. Raising women's self esteem and standards is my revenge.
I live by this too nonnie, kek. I sometimes get these moments of self-consciousness when I'm afraid of being just the memed lescel who's seething about women not being attracted to her but instead of taking it out on them (as they can't help their sexuality) I want to make them realize their value so that no scrote gets to exploit them. I guess that directly relates to my problem above, being stuck in relationships with straight women just helping them raise the bar.

>Oh and the occassional BPDchan, which I'm still reeling over.
Me too, nonnie. Glad to hear from someone with similar experiences.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 11:57:04 AM No. 293821

>>293691
Yeah, this one time it actually led to a sexual relationship for me and it got pretty weird. This woman was my cousins neighbour, a single mother. In the neighbourhood I had a reputation for being the local handywoman so she asked me over there to fix her plumbing (I stg that pun isn't intended but yes I am laughing at it anyway kek), fix her washing, etc. She started cooking for me when I went over, or bringing food next door for us. When we ate together we opened up and honestly after a while I had that "asexual female boyfriend" feeling too. I would listen to her problems, tell her kid to eat his veggies and work hard at school. It was… very intimate, honestly. Then one night after dinner we were drinking on her porch and she drunkenly told me that I was her dream man. She laughed it off but I could tell it wasn't exactly a joke. My dumbass said I could be her dream man for the night if she wanted and we slept together. I guess that makes her bisexual but she couldn't romantically give me anything. We would have such passionate sex but once it was over I'd be lying next to an ice maiden. Honestly I might well have dated her had she been able to commit to a woman and give me the emotional support that I gave her, but sleeping together soured our friendship completely. She would pull away from me emotionally as if to "no homo" the situation. It fucked me up and I haven't spoke to her in years now. I guess the moral of the story is that if you do find yourself in this kinda situation with a "straight" woman who's sexually coming on to you, do NOT think with your clit. It is not worth it and you'll only get your feelings hurt.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 12:01:21 PM No. 293822

>>293821
NTA but My god anon, thanks for unintentionally kicking some sense into me. I've been having severe crushes on straight women who flirt with me and I end up thinking about how if the situation was right I would absolutely sleep with her, but your story was a morbid reminder of how it will end up like.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 12:13:11 PM No. 293823

>>293822
Glad to be of service then lol. I know quite a few lesbians with similar war stories. Honestly, I think it's a very common phenomenon; lesbians are often lonely and isolated and straight women are often emotionally unfulfilled. It goes double if you're butch because you're closer to filling that masculine presence they want in their lives. I hope you find someone worthy of you soon, nonny.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 12:43:54 PM No. 293824

>>293817
>But it's in no way healthy to get stuck being just a confidence booster for straight women and my experiences with that have only made me jaded and unable to trust women to be sincerely attracted to me as a person.
Oh it's a bittersweet cycle and I feel silly for getting into it every time out of desperation and being pathetic. It's like being in the desert and drinking salty water. You know it's getting bad when I'm unironically thinking of just giving up and letting the BPDchans have me instead (the cacti in my desert analogy?) I feel like I have the kind of personality (mental illness) which at the same time attracts them and triggers the fuck out of them.. I guess it's natural to want to feel wanted, but it's not healthy that I'd consider doing ultimately harmful things, in order to get it. I have no fucking clue how to cope, I wish I could be like the waifufags and other than that just take satisfaction with masturbating.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 01:18:09 PM No. 293825

>>293824
I'm in a similar position as you. What's helped me cope is… it's going to sound like such a meme… focusing on myself. Yes I know, it's lame as fuck, and I don't believe the old adage "you can't be loved until you love yourself." In fact allowing yourself to be loved is crucial in repairing your self image! But I do believe that solely relying on others to make you feel loved, worthy, wanted, etc., is dangerous. Even if you were to be with the perfect woman, not a hettie or a BPDchan, one who does everything right and never fails you, eventually she's going to die. And then where will you be? It's about becoming strong enough to stand on our own. To give ourselves the love that we crave, to fulfill our own wishes. You are your number one ally, the one you can always rely on to do what you want and give yourself what you need, without waiting on anybody else to agree to it and carry it out. Basically you have 100% control over yourself, and 0% over everyone else. It's just more sensible to start your search for love from within. To use your desert metaphor this would be like suddenly realising you were the oasis all along. Or maybe water starts flowing from your hands? Like it's just dripping from your fingertips at first (self love is hard) but over time you're strong enough to make an entire river. Something like that.
Tldr; build your self esteem. When you value yourself and fulfill your own needs, you would never dream of allowing your precious, lovable self to drink saltwater or hug cactuses.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 03:36:54 PM No. 293839

at the very least i don't think the girl i'm playing "female asexual boyfriend" to is knowingly trying to manipulate me or anything. Still, I'm sad that this level of closeness I have with her will be impossible when I get a gf or when her bf isn't long distance anymore. (unless we were roommates or something). Everything is fine right now but I know it can't last this strong forever and I'm pre-emptively mourning

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 06:39:27 PM No. 293868

>>293825
Your post is very sweet, I fear your compassion is a bit wasted on me though. Even if I'd find the "perfect" woman, I would have no trouble letting her go. I've done it before and I'll do it again, because it's not just about me, but about her happiness too and sometimes you're just not looking for the same things. If she did everything right and didn't do her own thing and wouldn't eventually leave me, she wouldn't be "perfect". No idea if this makes any sense kek.
I've always been on my own and I've never been able to rely on anyone else, so I don't put that much stock on people in my life in that way. I hate having to ask anyone for anything or depending on anyone for anything, it makes me feel vulnerable and weak. I'm not a people pleaser, my "pickme for women"/simp tendencies are very coomer based and in a roundabout way I do get off on it, it feels like I'm playing a character, someone who is not me. I'm extremely selfish and in a way I have an inflated self esteem. I fear BPDchans not because I'd go out of my way to please them or anything, but because I hurt them unintentionally with my avoidant and aloof personality, they selfharm themselves with me, so I avoid them for their own good and my sliver of sanity. I'm objectively an unrepentant "bad person" and I refuse to change (though I and professionals don't believe I can change), because I need to be this way for my own survival, and my affective empathy is nonexistent anyway. If there was a female only planet, I'd be the equivalent of a scrote. I'm a walking abortion, emotionally limited, egocentric, trapped inside myself, incapable of empathizing or identifying with others, of love, affection or tenderness. I'm a completely isolated unit incapable of rapport with anyone. My responses are entirely visceral, not cerebral; my intelligence is a mere tool in the service of my drives and needs; I'm incapable of mental passion, mental interaction; I can’t relate to anything other than my own physical sensations.
There's just some stuff I cannot give to myself. Masturbating is not the same as sex (with someone who is actually sexually attracted to you) and is actually pretty damn boring, so that's a thing I miss. And even my emotionally impotent ass seeks connection in a way I can't have with a straight woman, especially because she's literally not sexually attracted to me. Though I do really appreciate the attention they do sometimes give.
>you would never dream of allowing your precious, lovable self to drink saltwater or hug cactuses.
That is so cute and sweet, genuinely. The idea of me personally being precious or lovable is laughable though and sounds dangerous and enabling (though I know nobody means it that way, I just know myself and can't allow myself to rationalize things that way).

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 07:16:32 PM No. 293872

>>293821
Oh no no no
I’m honestly pissed off you got used like that. I’m sure you’re the dream WOMAN of plenty of ladies, who could actually love you. Not treat you like a temp nigel, yk.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 07:48:01 PM No. 293879

>>293868
I see, so you have an avoidant attachment instead of a clingy attachment. I was speaking from my own experience and I seem to be the complete opposite of you, so yes I suppose it was a little "wasted" … but otherwise we wouldn't have gotten your lovely SCUM manifesto joke! It gave me a good laugh so I've no regrets. Still, I hope that you can find happiness somehow. Even if it's really impossible to change, because of your natural wiring or your own resistance, I'm sure there are lots of opportunities for you to experience joy. Thank you for the compliments. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 08:28:02 PM No. 293888

>>293879
>so you have an avoidant attachment instead of a clingy attachment
yup, basically, but it's probably personality disorder level
>we wouldn't have gotten your lovely SCUM manifesto joke
glad you caught that kek, wasn't sure if it was obvious enough
>Still, I hope that you can find happiness somehow
Thank you, I wish you luck with the clingy attachment, which doesn't seem easy at all either.
>Even if it's really impossible to change, because of your natural wiring or your own resistance
It might be possible, but there's just barely research about it, because usually very avoidant people don't seek help, since well, avoidant. Plus for me the deprivation and all that happened so early, it's not something you can really therapy out easily anyway. It should've been something they should've intervened with already in infancy and as a toddler.
>I'm sure there are lots of opportunities for you to experience joy
I hope so, thanks.
>Thank you for the compliments. I wish you all the best.
Well I meant it. You're extremely nice to a stranger and for some reason you're still nice to me.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 08:34:08 PM No. 293891

File: 1665693248359.jpg (9.2 KB, 399x278, 1663960927486.jpg)

How the fuck do lesbians get into relationships? Dating apps and the disposability-no effort culture they harbor are absolute scum, irl lesbian spaces are "queer and inclusive", everyone is either looking for nothing serious, an open or poly relationship, or just "doesn't know yet" (aka attention). After years of hearing u-haul jokes, reality is disappointing.

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 09:45:58 PM No. 293903

>>293891
Can we switch?

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 09:48:43 PM No. 293904

>>293903
Be my guest

Anonymous 10/13/22 (Thu) 10:47:59 PM No. 293915

>>293891
Just use a dating app habibi. Not everyone will be the same. It’s not for validation, but for irl meeting.

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 01:14:09 AM No. 293939

>>293868
ok shadow the hedgehog.

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 04:51:27 AM No. 293965

>>293939
I'm literally a failed post partem abortion though, that wasn't actually a joke. I have enough brain damage from that and severe infancy food, touch and emotional deprivation that I reserve the right to be edgy.

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 06:48:59 PM No. 294038

>>293891
Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting old or if I live in a bizarro world because most women on apps are solely interested in settling down or ~true connections with ~their future soulmate. I find the concept of hookups with complete strangers risky and gross (even if it's with women), but I honestly just want to test the waters and be casual/have fun than meet my future wife.

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 06:59:47 PM No. 294040

>>293806
why would you expect anything else from lex?

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 07:00:24 PM No. 294041

i feel like lesbian culture might be revitalized in the US if we lose gay marriage

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 07:03:48 PM No. 294043

>>294040
I don't understand why anyone who isn't a tenderqueer would use it. I downloaded it out of curiosity and I actually saw a former classmate on it basically begging for a "monogamous cis lesbian gf" … she's not going to find it there (and I'm surprised she wasn't banned for using those words)

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 07:29:10 PM No. 294049

>>294038
That's been my experience too. Like there's no middle ground to complete no strings attached sex and immediately jumping into a relationship that is heading straight for marriage.
>>294043
To get cake recipes from other butches, what else?

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 07:50:13 PM No. 294053

>>294049
Yeah, I wonder where you even find women who want a "middle ground" and have a neutral outlook on relationships instead of dead serious VS just using people as a human vibrator. I'm at the point in my life where something akin to a FWB or just casually dating and seeing where that relationship goes is the best possible dynamic I can have. I know more experienced lesbians will just reply "just use apps!" but I use all the big ones and all of the matches I get fizzle out and stop responding to me before an in-person date is arranged. I still use them since I don't live in a place with nearby gay stuff, but my expectations are on the floor and I'm depressed that I'll never get to experience these things while my friends are talking about their girlfriends and crushes.

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 08:17:56 PM No. 294056

>>293915
>Just use a dating app
Being on dating apps and having been on dates with women met there is the main reason of my pessimism, kek

>>294038
Ayrt, late 20s here. Maybe it's a cultural thing? I live in a pretty "open minded" place.

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 08:56:14 PM No. 294061

File: 1665780974016.png (68.45 KB, 600x419, Screenshot_2022-09-16-19-52-36…)

>>294043
there are definitely normal women that use the app, but being that its based on classifieds over profile matching, lesbians get drowned out by tenderqueers writing poetry about their transmasc top surgery rashes and MTFs asking for HiV tests and hormones every day

Anonymous 10/14/22 (Fri) 09:21:31 PM No. 294062

>>294061
Not gonna lie if I saw this post I'd block her even though I agree with her. People who make dating profiles based on complaints are insufferable.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 12:26:30 AM No. 294083

>>294056
AYRT, I'm in the same age range, but I live somewhere small and conservative (the people are nice if you mind your own business, but there's a million Baptist churches on every other corner). So that might be why. I almost wish I could move, LMAO. I don't think it's bad to want to have serious relationships and settle down, but it's alienating when this is apparently what my dating pool (women mid-20s to early-30s) consists of because it's 70% that and 30% polyamorous tenderqueers.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 01:39:55 AM No. 294088

File: 1665797995377.png (85.09 KB, 429x452, queercomedy.png)

>>294062
DA she seems sufferable enough by Lex standards to me

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 05:17:26 AM No. 294101

Has anyone created a discord server

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 08:16:57 AM No. 294107

>>294083
NTA, but the anon who is in the same situation. Yup exactly. I'm in a biblebelt region and the only women in my proximity on dating apps want to get married and have kids asap. I don't want to psychoanalyze too much, but I do feel like many want to prove that their sexuality is just as serious as those of the straights and to be completely the opposite of the poly tenderqueers who aren't being taken seriously. There's nothing wrong to want to settle down and have a serious relationship, if that's what you truly want, but there's something compulsive about it with many. They don't care whether it actually works, they just want to make it work and will try to force a square peg in a round hole, practically being proposed to on the first date when they know jackshit about you.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 12:08:42 PM No. 294115

>>294101
No, and I hope to God there never is one. It'll be pure honbait. Although admittedly the idea of a bunch of MTFs pretending to be true and honest girls grooming each other in there does make me chuckle, kek.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 02:17:14 PM No. 294124

>>294107
They're just raised trad and want trad things because they're from a trad place. It's not that deep.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 02:21:14 PM No. 294125

>>294124
even straight people in the area don't move that fast with each other and have a courtship period at least

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 02:23:39 PM No. 294126

>>294107
>>294124
I was raised and am from a culture thaf resides in a conservative catholic country and I accepted that I was lesbian pretty easily and my parents did too .They even asked other families in the hush hush if there was an lgbt Bible study or whatever to help me find a gf, ha.silly, I know but they meant well. I was raised on marriage since day one and I want it for myself. I dont think too deeply on it, it just feels right. You do make a point though, maybe in some other countries they feel that way especially in your country.

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Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 03:12:50 PM No. 294128

>>294126
yeah conversion therapy is still a common practice in the area, parents have to sign a form at school promising that their children aren't gay, if you ever hear about lesbianism it's the Freud version where it's explained as an immature sexuality and that it means you're forever a child, that learning to be attracted to men is a part of maturing. Families would never talk about such things, because if you have a gay kid, god must've hated you very fucking much and they're predestined for hell (double predestination). I think catholic areas are a lot more sane about these things than prottie areas, if you have to be in a conservative christian area.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 04:01:22 PM No. 294138

>>294107
AYRT, you're exactly right. And I guess the reason why I don't fit in with it is because I was a huge rebel as a teen (I lost friends in my small town when I said I didn't want to be a Christian anymore and fought with my parents over it), but I also grew out of most of said rebellion (I don't care to rock the boat anymore) which is why I'm not on the tenderqueer flip side of it. It's kind of lonely. I think another reason why so many of these lesbians (and some same-sex leaning bisexuals) want to settle down so badly, besides being a standard they were raised in, is because they think it'll turn out better in a same-sex relationship as opposed to what happened with their parents. Which it might, but the fact most of them are asking for that? Really?

>>294125
Yeah, the straight people (and opposite-sex leaning bisexuals) tend to be varied with relationships. I have straight friends who are in all kind of relationships, one is long-term, another is a typical ~open relationship~, and others just keep floating in-and-out relationships, others keep only having hookups, etc. Which is why it feels alienating how a lot of the lesbians are just 100% serious-only.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 05:03:30 PM No. 294149

>>294138
AYRT, I'm still a rebel, but in my mind the tenderqueers police each other a lot and are very conforming in their own way, which makes me not want to be really involved with them either.
>because they think it'll turn out better in a same-sex relationship as opposed to what happened with their parents. Which it might, but the fact most of them are asking for that? Really?
My parents married within a year of meeting and divorced after my birth within a year. Even if you're two women, you just can't know each other well enough to marry that fast or have kids that fast imo. It's like I'm being asked to make the exact same mistake which screwed me over personally. Yet it's immediately assumed you just want to use someone like a vibrator if you're not up for that. It's so black and white. I don't really have a solution other than moving away at some point.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 05:21:01 PM No. 294152

>>294149
Yeah, I'm considering moving out when I can, but it won't be anytime soon, so I just feel like I'm stuck being deprived of a love/sex life despite being in "my prime" because I'm the odd one out of what other LGB people want.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 05:50:39 PM No. 294159

File: 1665856239367.jpg (32.9 KB, 564x594, bb819fb0e5fc5d9cc103babfef8f7d…)

>>294152
Yeah, same.

Anonymous 10/15/22 (Sat) 06:14:31 PM No. 294165

>>294107
>I don't want to psychoanalyze too much, but I do feel like many want to prove that their sexuality is just as serious as those of the straights and to be completely the opposite of the poly tenderqueers who aren't being taken seriously. There's nothing wrong to want to settle down and have a serious relationship, if that's what you truly want, but there's something compulsive about it with many.
In all honesty, as someone currently trying for a baby with my wife, I was going to tell you to go fuck yourself. BUT I counted to ten and reminded myself that you're not a pomo asshole who's telling me that I'm "not really gay" or that I'm betraying my kweerness by not having pre-approved affairs. I've had a lot of that from people - even friends - and it's made me a bit tetchy on the subject. Honestly though, you're right. The moment the penny dropped and I realised I was gay I just wanted to be taken as serious as a straight person would. I get really mad at the idea that gay people are special and "cool" and I've strived to show my peers that I just want the "normal things" in life like they do. Every serious girlfriend I've told I want marriage and kids before I truly examined where those desires came from. I didn't truly know I wanted kids until my little sisters birth nearly seven years ago. As for marriage, it was more of a fairy tale I hoped for; something to legitimise me in the eyes of straight people. The full weight of it didn't hit me until I fell for my wife and realised that I had with her what I didn't with my exes; and that had I married one of them while stuck on the autopilot setting I was on my life would be a complete shambles. Honestly there's probably a lot of lesbians out there who are stuck on this autopilot setting when it's not the ideal life for them, but like me they're gonna get extremely defensive when asked about it because the urge to fit in is so overpoweringly strong.

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 07:42:50 AM No. 294428

Sometimes I worry I moved too fast with my fiancee. I love her and I do want to spend the rest of my life with her and we have a wonderful relationship that's amazing in so many ways. Her family is so loving and supportive of us and she's so great with my older brother who has a disability. Literally all my personal growth has been motivated by being a better gf for her. Learning the stuff I should've learned as a kid is embarrassing as an adult but so worth it when I think of how we've progressed as a couple and working as a team.
But we got together really young. I was 18, she was 20, and sometimes I do wonder if I'm missing out on dating and casual flings and all that stupid young adult shit. I don't want to be like all my friends growing up who got married right out of highschool and then get stuck in their routines. And I don't mean that I'm stuck (no moreso than anyone else who shares bills with a roommate), just scared of repeating some of the mistakes I've seen other people making. I feel like if I was really content, I wouldn't be worrying about this stuff. What if I end up being wrong about what I want and then she's wasted years of her life on me? I mean hell, then I'd be wasting my time too. All the stress and family shit for nothing.
I had an abusive childhood and sometimes feel unable to identify what my actual desires are. Mostly I'm driven by a need to feel safe and loved at all costs, which leads to huge blind spots in my personal judgment where I will wholeheartedly feel like everything is perfect and good and I'm sooo happy, and then years later I'm having flashbacks and wanting to throw up because of whatever I was doing or saying to receive the affection I was getting at that time. I don't want to just pick what feels good, I want to pick what I want. I've noticed that the longer we live together, I've started to view her the way I viewed my parents. Lord of the household, must be appeased and happy at all times so as to keep the peace. I get anxious and watch her the way I watched my mother and even though she's literally never done a single thing to make me feel like I need to watch her, that's almost worse. There's this sense of "get it over with already, rip your mask off". Maybe this is all my anxiety? I feel so consumed with this awful dread that it will all be a huge mistake and our love isn't real, and the fact that I'm worrying at all is a sure sign that it's true.
Can someone with a normal functioning brain please give input? I'm pretty sure I need to chill and get some sleep but this has been going around in circles in my head for weeks.

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 08:23:18 AM No. 294430

>>294428
I don't have a normal functioning brain but FOMO is normal and we always wonder at least a little whether the grass is greener on the other side. So it's not necessarily a sign that you're not really content. However
>I've noticed that the longer we live together, I've started to view her the way I viewed my parents. Lord of the household, must be appeased and happy at all times so as to keep the peace. I get anxious and watch her the way I watched my mother and even though she's literally never done a single thing to make me feel like I need to watch her, that's almost worse. There's this sense of "get it over with already, rip your mask off". Maybe this is all my anxiety? I feel so consumed with this awful dread that it will all be a huge mistake and our love isn't real, and the fact that I'm worrying at all is a sure sign that it's true.
This is concerning. Again it doesn't mean that you don't love her or that she doesn't love you, but it's definitely a sign that you haven't worked through those issues and that it's going to affect your interpersonal relationships until you do. It's definitely not healthy and is related to attachment issues. This is something to work through via therapy and you should probably talk to your fiancee about it too at some point. Maybe a therapist can help with that too, because you're probably worried you'd offend her if you brought up that you've started viewing her the way you view your parents. Also
>What if I end up being wrong about what I want and then she's wasted years of her life on me? I mean hell, then I'd be wasting my time too. All the stress and family shit for nothing.
That's always a risk when you get into a relationship. However it's not all stress right? Or wasting of your time? You learned a lot of stuff together and grew, which counts for something, right? What about all the happy and nice moments you wouldn't have had together, if you weren't together? I don't think you two are going to break up over this or that you won't get married, but even if it did happen, that doesn't mean everything was a waste of time. It's about the journey together, not the destination.

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 11:41:13 AM No. 294439

>>294428
This is something coming from inside you, not outside. Break up with her, get another gf and you will still feel the same about the new partner

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 12:20:31 PM No. 294442

>>294428
I've realized that people with abusive childhoods or complicated childhoods do this once they are in an actual stable relationship. Healthy relationships bore them because they saw messy ones in thier childhood. Some people get bored of stability and mess things up just to see the if the grass is greener on the other side.
Your point of you missing out on casual things, do you know how many people wish they wouldn't have casually dated because they were looking for something real? Many people never find anything real and spend thier lives looking for it. If you want, break up with her. But if she has impacted your life in such a way you will never forget her and you will regret it later in a moment of clarity. I've seen people fuck up thier stability just for a night of fun and the repercussions are terrible.
My suggestion is to talk about this with her or go get therapy for this personal issue. Just talk to her and all will be well. Good luck ok?

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 12:44:11 PM No. 294444

>>294428
>sometimes I do wonder if I'm missing out on dating and casual flings and all that stupid young adult shit
As someone who did that "casual flings young adult shit", you're not missing out. It amounts to nothing, you're not getting anything out of it except for some sex that's going to be mediocre compared to the sex you have with someone you love anyway. It's not really enviable. It's so easy to find women willing to do something casual, but so hard to find "your person", and it seems you've found her. I'd give a left tit to find what you have. So no, the grass isn't greener on the other side.
As for the rest of the post, I agree with anons above, you should work through those issues with a professional.

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 01:03:21 PM No. 294447

>>294444
NTA but as someone who can't find a casual fling or true love either, I think the reason a lot of lesbians idealize hookups and casual flings is because it's what most of our straight peers do, and are harder to get compared to straight women (I've had men hit me up because they assumed I'm straight, but trying to get a woman on an app to exchange phone numbers to arrange an in-person date is like pulling teeth - however I'm one of the nonnies who lives in a conservative area where most women want to settle down). I honestly think the "evils" of hookup culture mostly apply to male-female dynamics.

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 01:13:17 PM No. 294448

>>294442
100% this. I had a messy, chaotic and abusive childhood and the "mundanity" of a healthy, stable relationship can fuck me up sometimes. In previous relationships I'd disappear for days, maybe a week or so at a time. I'd binge drink and use drugs, just be a total dick and do things I shouldn't. Even when I was single and things got too stable I'd compulsively shake things up or self-sabotage. I tell people that overcoming drink and drugs was the biggest battle of my life, but honestly I think this urge is a lot harder to beat. I'm happily married now but I still get the odd urge to fuck about out of boredom. I know people here have recommended therapy and that might work for you, but personally I had no success with it and found it a complete waste of my time. I've made peace with the fact that my childhood broke me and I'm putting the pieces back together myself. Hobbies and long term goals are what keep me going now. I work on upping my income, doing more charity work, engaging more with my hobbies, etc. My wife says that I'm like a shark, that I can't stop moving or it'll suffocate me and it's the most apt metaphor I've heard. But at least now I'm enriching my life, not tearing it apart for shits and giggles. Also as someone who did the whole hook-ups and casual dating thing - I regret it deeply. The grass is not greener and I wish I saved myself for the few serious relationships I've had.

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 01:45:44 PM No. 294457

>>294448
>In previous relationships I'd disappear for days, maybe a week or so at a time. I'd binge drink and use drugs, just be a total dick and do things I shouldn't. Even when I was single and things got too stable I'd compulsively shake things up or self-sabotage.
What made it different with your wife or what did you do differently with her? How did she feel about it in the beginning?

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 02:47:14 PM No. 294463

>>294457
Well by the time I'd met my wife I was fully committed to recovery with a decent chunk of time spent sober under my belt, and had found volunteering as a positive outlet for my restlessness. Those two things were HUGE for me. That saying "the devil finds work for idle hands" applies to me greatly and naturally being drunk and/or high I was far more inclined to listen to my stupid impulses instead of fighting them. Like I said, it is still there, and that's why I told my wife about this stuff while we were still friends. Just gave her a basic "hey so I'm a huge self-saboteur and sometimes I physically run from my problems so if I disappear for a while it's me not you" chat. She has her own demons and understood what I was trying to (poorly) communicate. I think us both coming from broken, fucked up homes is part of what makes us work so well together tbh. My ex before her had this perfect, middle class life with wonderful, loving parents so we were like aliens to each other and that caused a LOT of arguments. There was an adjustment period when my wife moved in with me, I had a very small studio apartment at the time so sharing that space with someone like me who's always flitting about wasn't easy on her, she felt a bit overwhelmed by things but we never actually argued over it. There were long talks where we would question each other on the things we didn't understand about the others coping mechanisms and such, but that was always done with love and dedication to making our relationship work. I did struggle to switch off and relax with her at first because I thought that having this amazing partner meant that I had to show her I was a capable person by doing a hundred things at once and taking her out and impressing her and trying to sweep her off her feet all the time. But once my wife realised this was coming from a fear of losing her, she sat me down and told me that I didn't have to do all that stuff to win her over and that she was already in this for the long haul, which really helped soothe my antsy-ness about the relationship. Honestly the key is to just talk ad nauseam about things until you're both aware of how the other person copes with things, the signs that they're under distress, and how to help them through things. Scheduling too, now that I think of it. At first it was a struggle for my wife to know when I was available and when I needed to be left alone with my hobbies to recover from spending time with people (I'm also an autist which probably plays a part in all of this). Admittedly I was doing too much back then, so sitting down together to make sure we scheduled in date nights, lunches and brunches and time at home to veg out together helped. As of now we're doing really well. No major slip-ups from either of us in a while and through talking and scheduling we've found a balanced pace of life that works for both of us and our individual needs.

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 04:24:22 PM No. 294478

>>294463
thank you for sharing, it sounds amazing how far you've gotten and your wife sounds awesome

Anonymous 10/17/22 (Mon) 08:14:01 PM No. 294510

>>294463
You sound like a really mature couple. I’m glad your wife understands you, I hope I can have this some day.

Anonymous 10/18/22 (Tue) 02:46:56 AM No. 294562

>>294430
>>294439
>>294442
>>294444
>Just talk to her and all will be well.
This has always been true. I think it might be the only universal truth to ever exist. Thank you anons for the advice and understanding, I was so anxious when I woke up and remembered I posted this. Wasn't drunk or anything, just overtired and upset. I am in therapy for my various issues and have been for a year but I stopped going a month or two ago. There were some personal issues I had with my therapist + I felt like she kept getting hung up on stuff that I didn't feel was as important as the other stuff I wanted to work on. It's funny bc multiple people have made the same remark about the grass being greener, but I don't think I feel that way. I'm not bored, I'm anxious. Like super long form Chinese water torture. When's the next drop coming?? She's too nice! Lol. I don't think there's something better out there (I will never find another woman like her, it's like someone designed us in a lab to be soulmates), I just get consumed with the idea that I'm wasting our time and making a mistake, even though I'm happy. Like it's all gonna blow up in my face one day, or that I'm investing in something that will inevitably hurt me. I know that's not a healthy mindset, and it would be good to get it out in the open. It's frustrating because I know in my heart that this is not a logical thought process and nothing has happened to give me a reason to think this. I'm sure she has something to say that would put these fears to rest, she always does. I think keeping it to myself and cooking up these stupid scenarios and worrying over it is just making it worse and talking about it will probably make it all go away.
>>294448
I like your wife's comparison of you to a shark. I feel the same way about therapy. It felt like my therapist just couldn't understand that I wasn't gonna get back to whatever a base level person is supposed to be. She wants me to try group settings and to spend more time with my irl friends and join the real world, but I feel at my best when I'm alone, working in silence on my hobbies. I don't want to reconcile with my parents or join a knitting group or shop at the store my ex best friend works at just to prove I can, I want peace lol and those things aren't it. Your relationship with your wife sounds wonderful and I love the way you two work together. What you have is what I want, if I can only relax and learn to enjoy it.

Anonymous 10/20/22 (Thu) 11:05:44 AM No. 294933

>mum ships me with every son of her friends, keeps telling me le ‘one day’
>mum finds out im ‘lesbo’
>finally i am free of this speculation
>now she does the lenny face every time i mention a girl or talk to one
Dammit

Anonymous 10/20/22 (Thu) 12:10:05 PM No. 294940

>>294933
Aww she was just invested in your happiness. Wholesome.

Anonymous 10/20/22 (Thu) 07:11:13 PM No. 295018

>>294940
True, I am just a grump haha

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 05:08:11 AM No. 295273

Does anyone have advice for coping with loneliness, especially the sexual frustration/wanting intimacy aspects? I found out the hard way that a lesbian friend I had a crush on and was going to ask out has a girlfriend now, and while I know there's more fish in the sea, it's really getting me down. I live in a small town and it's hard to make friends while out when no LGB scenes and women my age on apps mostly want to settle down or are dyed hair tenderqueers who use each other as vibrators. I was really hoping I had my chance with someone, since we get along great, and I even thought she liked me until I realized she was taken. Maybe I should just wait if they break up…

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 05:43:04 AM No. 295276

File: 1666417384745.jpg (46.09 KB, 800x450, cat.jpg)

>>294933
Could be worse, a woman could finally hit on you while you're in the shop with her and she actually loudly starts shipping you.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 11:38:25 AM No. 295299

>>295276
I would’ve run away kek
>>295273
Get a waifu.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 11:55:43 AM No. 295301

>>295273
SPORTSBALL! Some stereotypes are true, and sports does attract a lot of same sex attracted women. I met a ton through boxing, football, basketball, tennis, etc. I had my first golf lesson the other week and I ran into two lesbians I knew from the local bar scene at the golf club. We are legion, for we all love sports. Best part is you don't even have to be good at sports, there's plenty of casual teams out there that play for funsies.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 02:12:57 PM No. 295316

>>295299
Way ahead of you. That's how I've coped since high school since I was forcibly outed and didn't get to date like everyone else. But it makes me feel like a loser Otaku scrote and I get too embarrassed to even talk about it when my other friends are finding real women to date…

>>295301
I'll look into it, I'm already pretty physically active anyway. Most of the other same sex attracted women I've met besides my friend are way too young or too old for me so hopefully sports nearby has a more balanced ratio.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 03:59:50 PM No. 295328

File: 1666454390449.jpg (149.06 KB, 750x736, original.jpg)

>>295299
>I would’ve run away kek
I did
>>295301
nta but I'm from a rural area and did rowing, basketball, rugby, boxing etc and I found none, nada, noppes, zero. Just the music/cultural center was a bicurious women factory. I worry I'm the only gay in the village. I always have to venture pretty far to find any SSA women and usually they are so liberal and privileged that they never encountered lesbophobia and don't understand my hesitancy and why I'm not just going to act like a don juan.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 04:11:56 PM No. 295332

>>295328
I live in a red state, so that's my fear too if I go through with checking out sports. I'll probably do it anyway since I enjoy the exercise, but it gets really lonely and frustrating. I'd be totally fine with dating a bisexual woman, as long as she didn't treat her same-sex attraction as just a fun fling that actually results in an orgasm (lol), but most of the ones I've known prioritize relationships with men at the end of the day. I've only seen one Febfem on an app and she was seeking to settle down.

I wish there was a chat group for venting and advice or something for SSA women who live in rural/small/right-leaning areas, because most of the same-sex dating advice I see is aimed at women in liberal states. Like I'd love to just go to a gay bar or something, but there aren't any.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 04:28:02 PM No. 295335

>>295332
yeah I really share your feelings, an actual bisexual woman would be fine, but practically every bicurious woman turns out to be straight.
>I wish there was a chat group for venting and advice or something for SSA women who live in rural/small/right-leaning areas, because most of the same-sex dating advice I see is aimed at women in liberal states. Like I'd love to just go to a gay bar or something, but there aren't any.
Yeah and I've travelled hours to go to go to a liberal area to go to a party or bar and usually it ends up being awkward and I just don't fit in. So that's not worth it either. They treat you like a bigot for being out of the loop. I wish I could actually get with redneck cat edit nonna.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 04:46:58 PM No. 295336

>>295335
Wow, that sucks. I actually planned on taking a vacation in the spring to somewhere more liberal just to see if I get lucky, but if talking to lesbians online is any indication, I don't really relate to women who didn't grow up somewhere conservative/religious in some way. It's so easy for a young woman in a liberal area who has dated since high school to just say "download a dating app or move" when I've had no luck on apps (I've tried all the big ones and some weird niche small ones) and the low income here makes it hard to move out. The few openly gay people I've actually met down here are either men or too young for me.

I personally enjoy going to bars, so I've had hopes that if I travelled out to a gay bar, I would have some good time. I've gone to normal bars just to have a drink and listen to music, but I tend to either get hit on by men (except when I bring a male coworker to make them think I'm taken), and the women I find attractive are either with their boyfriend or I don't feel right approaching because they're likely straight. My last few crushes turned out to be straight, which is why I'm really crushed over how the lesbian my age I met is taken.

At this point I'm open to a LDR and putting aside time to meet up in person, but I don't even know where to find a woman my age with my interests that is open to that.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 04:52:42 PM No. 295337

>>295316
Oh damn nonnie I’m sorry that happened to you. High school is shit (i started doing independent learning at 16/17). I don’t think you should be embarrassed of having a waifu, it’s a lot harder for us to find love, as long as you’re not a coomer about it. The anon who suggested sportsball had better advice, i see lesbos in that a lot more. The internet isn’t too shabby for finding lesbos either.
>>295328
Mann it’s usually the bisexuals and enbies who are most anal about ‘looking’ gay, and being politically correct. Homosexuals often act like normal lowkey people. It really is the tik tok queers that im supposed to fit in with that annoy me the most. Adding that i don’t hate actual bi women, the ones on this site seem based. I hate ‘queers’ wearing frog hats, obsessed with queer culture and pronouns. Just…please go back to being emo. Why wasn’t emo enough for you people?

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 05:02:14 PM No. 295340

>>295328
AYRT, I'm from a small rural town too. It may be a symptom of the times, I'm 31 and over the last ten years or so I have noticed more and more straight women get into sport and becoming gymrats around here. Used to be at the nearest 24/7 gym you'd often see women exchanging numbers or maybe even having a little soiree in the showers, but now the place is full of women who only got into fitness for the insta baddie ass and will glare at obviously gay butch women like me like we're lecherous perverts. Fucking bleak. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to see straight women become slightly less hesitant about becoming muscular and playing sports, but the scene ain't what it was. I worry that newly out and/or young SSA women who are joining gyms and sports teams will once again feel sidelined by straights and stay in the closet in these situations, so it's just the oldfags like me left and we're not making the new connections we once would. Maybe we need to colonise a new hobby for ourselves, kek.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 05:06:23 PM No. 295341

>>295340
Samefagging to say I didn't mean to sound so defeated by the change in demographics. I believe it is still possible to form new connections and sports has historically been great for lesbians and most likely will be for the foreseeable future. It's just a different landscape to navigate now and of course there's the luck factor involved, I guess. YMMV and all that.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 05:24:53 PM No. 295342

>>295337
AYRT, I've been looking to find lesbians online with similar interests (since I don't really relate to "normie" lesbians and I don't find most mainstream non-woke LGB media interesting), but most of them are really young. I'm going to keep looking, honestly, since I'm okay with being friends with any age, but it gets so hard to cope with.

>>295340
It's really frustrating how even if late 20s-early 30s isn't "old", it feels like it's too late for me to even start dating at that age. I've posted in this thread about my other roadbumps in my 20s after being outed (I fell out of going to college because I wasn't ready and was abruptly fired from my first job and it took years to find a new stable one), all the lesbians I've talked to my age is already in a relationship and the single ones or girls interested in me on apps are too young. I might as well go volcel at this point.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 05:59:34 PM No. 295348

>>295336
>I don't really relate to women who didn't grow up somewhere conservative/religious in some way.
Yeah exactly. You can try to actually be emotionally vulnerable, explain why you're hesitant and that you're not used to just hitting on women, because you risk actually being bashed back home and all the internalized shit from religion. They'll just look at you like you have three heads and think you're just talking out of your ass and being silly.
>>295337
>Mann it’s usually the bisexuals and enbies who are most anal about ‘looking’ gay, and being politically correct.
I literally look gay. I'm butch, but in rural areas I can also sometimes be mistaken for a farmer's wife kek. I just don't look "queer". It's weird how "queer" often means having to look MORE feminine. It's not even that I go around as a card carrying terf or anything or spouting gc stuff left and right. They just seem automatically suspicious of anyone from conservative areas and what was politically correct last week, isn't now. Even if you try to kinda keep up with it online, things move so fucking fast in liberal cities.
>>295340
>but now the place is full of women who only got into fitness for the insta baddie ass and will glare at obviously gay butch women like me like we're lecherous perverts
Oh yeah I don't change at the gym because of that and with martial arts I usually spar with men. It's like you're put in the "man" category, with none of the benefits, attention or praise. Just the fear, avoidance and revulsion.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 06:03:44 PM No. 295349

Eyy I finished my assignment so I get to see my girlfriend today I could weep, it's been weeks cause unis been so hectic. I have nothing to contribute just yelling happily at the void

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 06:21:42 PM No. 295351

>>295348
AYRT, the other issue is that with therapy and working on my self-esteem, I don't have as much internalized homophobia anymore. I have no qualms with walking up to and chatting up a woman, I'm a friendly person and people who talk to me IRL get along with me, and I love complimenting women and telling them they're pretty and whatnot. But the thing I learned when growing up in a conservative area is that most people are straight, my gaydar is completely busted because I've grown up around "stereotypical" people who turned out to be 100% heterosexual. So I don't even know who is available unless they say so, the last time I chatted up someone cute and was going to ask her out, she told me she had a boyfriend.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 06:31:43 PM No. 295353

>>295351
My worry about hitting on women isn't so much that I feel ashamed or what not. It's more that I'm worried they're going to freak out at the predatory butch dyke and call their boyfriend, family or bystanders to beat me up. If it really was guaranteed to just be a normal rejection like straight people deal with, I could handle that, but that's not what I'm dealing with usually. So even if you drop me in a liberal area, I'm not suddenly going to lose that worry, probably not even with therapy. I can't even get therapy for that shit around here, since if I talk about my sexuality to therapists in this area, I get the "male demon" spiel.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 06:42:01 PM No. 295356

>>295353
Therapy wasn't all that effective for me, but that's why I just got tele-therapy with someone out of state, but it was super expensive so I had to stop. Some therapists I saw were sympathetic and gave me "it's okay to be gay" spiel, but others were woke-homophobic and asked me if I might change my mind one day since sexuality is fluid. (Ironic, since conversion therapy is legal in my state, which is why I sought tele-therapists in liberal ones…)

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 06:46:18 PM No. 295359

>>295356
Oh yep very similar. It wasn't really therapy in my case, but some sort of sex-ed organization I contacted about sexuality issues and also lesbian safe sex. They also said I could change my mind later due to "sexual fluidity" and they wanted to give me information on straight safe sex too, because of TiMs. So I never contacted them again.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 07:30:22 PM No. 295365

>>295348
> I don't change at the gym because of that and with martial arts I usually spar with men
AYRT, I only change if I'm tucked away in a corner, it's under half full, or there's other masc women in there (it's just comforting to not be the only one, y'know?) but also because I've found since getting a back tattoo that stretches down to my thighs I get really invasive questions about ass tattooing, lol. I spar with men too, mostly because I'm over 6'0 and pretty built so it's a bit of an unfair advantage with average height average weight women. Honestly though, the real reason I spar with men is because I've not emotionally recovered from the last woman I sparred with calling me a dirty dyke because I choked her out with my legs. "I only tapped out because that freak was probably getting off to it" I heard her say afterwards… that hurt more than any punch or kick or grapple I've ever taken. People will judge me as a hardass because of my appearance (like you said we're basically considered men except it fucking sucks) but that had me full on sobbing in the bathroom. It's shit like that that makes trooning out almost seem worth it.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 07:38:51 PM No. 295366

>>295365
>"I only tapped out because that freak was probably getting off to it" I heard her say afterwards
NTA but Jesus christ anon, this made my anxiety go through the roof. I'm so, so sorry you had to deal with a homophobic piece of shit like that, honestly this is exactly why I don't like the idea of trusting straight women as our sisters unconditionally without vigilance. It's one thing for a homophobic scrote to call you a dirty dyke but it hurts on an entirely another level when another woman uses your sexuality against you, very loudly no less. I've experienced it myself more times than I can count and it's like a dull, jagged dagger through your heart.

That said I wish I had a 6'0 built martial artist girlfriend, really makes my heart flutter. I wish you the best.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 07:52:04 PM No. 295367

>>295366
AYRT, yeah the fact it came from a woman was what really got to me tbh. Like ok a scrote calls me a dyke and thinks I'm a perv, must be a day ending in y. But it's such a fucking blow to hear that from another woman. Honestly straight women can take their "sisterhood" and shove it where the sun don't shine. Actions speak louder than words, I'll believe they consider me human when I'm treated as one. I'm sorry you've had experiences like this too, nona. Hit the nail on the head calling it dull and jagged. That's exactly how it feels; intensely painful but at the same time it's expected, you're somewhat numb to it. It's fucked up and no woman should have to numb herself to these things to survive. You're very kind though and made me blush, lol. I wish you all the best too. ♥

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 08:19:04 PM No. 295373

>>295365
>or there's other masc women in there (it's just comforting to not be the only one, y'know?)
I'm usually the only one. I get the feeling that many straight women in fitness and martial arts try to overcompensate by being extra feminine etc. Sometimes we'd get a masc visitor, but they're rare.
>mostly because I'm over 6'0 and pretty built so it's a bit of an unfair advantage with average height average weight women
I'm not even really taller than average height women around here, just got freakish tank genetics and I'm one of the few who seriously lifts on the side (since most are memed into thinking it makes them slow). I did sometimes spar with a woman who has 20kg on me and I still managed to injure her before her fight (she injured me too at some point later, so we're even).
>"I only tapped out because that freak was probably getting off to it"
AYRT, that hits like a truck. Not just the lesbophobia of it, but also basically accusing you of getting off on women being hurt. Fucking double whammy. Some say they want a women's gym, I wish there were lesbian gyms with a MMA/BJJ/(kick)boxing dojo portion, but that's probably never going to happen considering we're a minority.
>It's shit like that that makes trooning out almost seem worth it.
Iktf, but that would also bring out new/slightly altered anxieties, dangers and problems. Just really feels damned if we do, damned if we don't.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 08:44:53 PM No. 295376

>>295373
>freakish tank genetics
Kek, same. Women on my mothers side are usually tall, broad as a barn and naturally strong. I have PCOS too so surely the excess testosterone has helped along the way. I got my start in boxing where one of my best assets was being rooted to the floor like a tree because cycling has given me a great advantage in that department, so speed ain't my style at all. I find it odd that most women I know who do combat sports focus on being light footed and nimble; like even our fighting styles are subconsciously gendered and being a tank is considered to be for the boys. I do lift but that's more for my mental health as I've found that building my ideal muscular body while ignoring all thoughts of gendering it has helped with thoughts of trooning out. "be the buff butch woman you wish to see in the world" has become my philosophy.

>I wish there were lesbian gyms
God, me too. I went to a womens gym once and I felt like I went to space and landed on a different planet. I stuck out like a sore thumb and felt awkward the entire time. Never again.

Anonymous 10/22/22 (Sat) 11:49:08 PM No. 295414

File: 1666482548231.jpg (8.08 KB, 168x299, cross.jpg)

having to turn up femme for the job interview like

Anonymous 10/23/22 (Sun) 12:24:04 AM No. 295417

>>295359
Damn i was shitposting but what I’m hearing in this lesbian group therapy is actually kind of sad. I don’t know why we don’t get taken as seriously as homosexual men. That we don’t exist, and if we do, we’re gross, masculine (because how dare a woman be comfortable in masculinity), and a threat to women. Like >>295367 said, hearing it from other women is, somehow worse, because it’s supposed to be your people and your community that hates you. Lesbophobia really isolates you from other women.

>>295367
>>295366
Am baking yous a wedding cake as we speak

Anonymous 10/23/22 (Sun) 12:37:33 AM No. 295420

Lesbian rant incoming. Met a cute gay woman not too long ago and can't get her out of my mind. It's driving me crazy. We were flirting but I don't think she's actually attracted to me, just enjoying getting an ego boost off my attention. Maybe I'm insecure. My last relationship was really difficult and my ex pretty much tried her best to ruin my life and destroy my self esteem, and I've been really scared to date again. Most of my relationships with women have not gone great and I feel emotionally scarred. I want to get closer to this woman I met but at the same time I feel like if she tried to make an actual move on me I'd start crying because I'm just so troubled after my bad experiences. Idk if anyone has experienced similar or has any advice, but it feels good to get it off my chest at least

Anonymous 10/23/22 (Sun) 12:54:10 AM No. 295421

>>295420
Im sorry anon. What did your gf do to hurt your self esteem? I'm asking bc im trying to rebuild mine…

Anonymous 10/23/22 (Sun) 01:04:15 AM No. 295422

I feel really bad for all you gym/ sports anons. I'm femme leaning and I go to the gym and I agree with all of you that women are mean to butches in the gym. I can conceal myself well due to the upbringing in my culture where we are close to women naturally. But being lesbian or gay is still bad. I feel really bad for how they treated all of you. I'm really sorry.

Anonymous 10/23/22 (Sun) 06:20:32 AM No. 295449

>>295376
I'm not super tall, mainly due to neglect and poverty, but still extremely broad and sturdy. Plus even though I'm well into adulthood, I gained 2-3 inches and people say it looks like I'm still growing. The magic of eating at a surplus. I hate how it was always expected that women are dainty, fragile and graceful. PE in school almost made me believe I hated sports, because they'd separate boys and girls and have them do different things. More rough strength based sports make it easier to like myself, because my body isn't aesthetic or graceful, just sturdy and yup being rooted to the floor like a tree. Pls don't ask me to prance around gracefully basically kek. Also being big boned usually leads to looking boney faster ime, which was one of the reasons for me to get into lifting. Seeing bones makes me feel weak and vulnerable and I want to wrap myself in a protective layer of muscle. Plus it makes life easier. Though because of boxing competitions and lifting, I was already interested in roids before I even heard of TiFs. The amount of self control I need to not just do it because it's the one way to get roids legally for a woman. It would just feel silly because I literally stopped doing competitions, because they started to say I would need to roid to really advance (since everyone does it at higher levels). Plus I felt like risking shots to the head might not be a good thing to base a career on kek.
>I find it odd that most women I know who do combat sports focus on being light footed and nimble; like even our fighting styles are subconsciously gendered and being a tank is considered to be for the boys.
Because there's this idea that women can only win via points and not with (T)KO. I ended up feeling like Grog the Destroyer with the amount of damage I caused on lower level competitions, because they're used to just dancing around each other and doing things for points. Oh and SPONSORS and promoters, they are super misogynistic, didn't want me to shave my head, threatened to pull out if I did. They often cared more about conventional attractiveness than athletic ability. Staying skinny and appealing to scrotes is often encouraged for that reason too. Some even get implants and end up shooting themselves in the foot, because not everywhere allows you to compete with those.
>I went to a womens gym once and I felt like I went to space and landed on a different planet. I stuck out like a sore thumb and felt awkward the entire time. Never again.
Like a… planet fitness? They legit imo have the same vibes as a planet fitness and if they too had a lunk alarm, they would've hit it upon me setting foot in there.

Anonymous 10/23/22 (Sun) 11:44:33 AM No. 295469

>>295449
Oh, don't even get me started on promoters and sponsors. I had to keep my hair long because even my TRAINER told me cutting it would harm my career. She was right and she had been around the block enough to know that, (she was a lesbian too) but man, it was so disheartening to hear at an age where I very insecure in my sexuality and my butchness. I worked so hard and gave boxing my all, I retired undefeated with 20 KOs, 4 TKOs and 6 wins by points, but nooooo, heaven forbid I get a PRACTICAL haircut. You can beat the shit out of another woman for sport but ew, don't be too butch about it. I stopped my career for medical reasons but honestly, I don't think I would've lasted much longer if I tried. I'd already argued with people I shouldn't have and pissed off sponsors. Unfortunately as well as inheriting my mothers tank genes I also got her pissy attitude and big mouth, kek. It wasn't a planet fitness it was actually a small local ladies gym I went to. I thought I'd support an independent business and was hoping it would be women I knew from my time spent in local sports teams but it was just a bunch of hyper feminine women who looked like clones of each other and clearly hated anyone who didn't. I heard the owner laughing and joking about an overweight lady on a treadmill and it just soured me on the whole place. Like c'mon, if someone is trying to lose weight you should support and encourage them. I know that fear of sticking out in a gym and it's awful. That lady turned up knowing full well people would stare at her and say mean things about her and that takes serious balls! She was literally putting money in the owners pocket but the owner just had to be a bitch about it and all for a cheap laugh. Shit like that is why I'm having a small gym set-up in the basement of my new house, I can't stand being in that kind of atmosphere every day of the week. It's a huge mental drain tbh.

Anonymous 10/23/22 (Sun) 01:04:22 PM No. 295486

>>295469
>I retired undefeated with 20 KOs, 4 TKOs and 6 wins by points
Fucking nice! I really don't get where people get the idea from that women can only win by points.
>You can beat the shit out of another woman for sport but ew, don't be too butch about it.
Yep that's exactly the attitude they got.
>I heard the owner laughing and joking about an overweight lady on a treadmill and it just soured me on the whole place. Like c'mon, if someone is trying to lose weight you should support and encourage them.
I think the best gym I've been to was hidden in a warehouse in an industrial area. Was started by a strongman who just wanted a place to put all his shit, charged friends a small fee to workout there too, until he grew it into a full fledged gym. Extremely positive environment, especially to noobs. Whether you're fat or skelly, they wouldn't let anyone bully you or laugh at you. That it started as a strongman gym also meant it had interesting equipment you don't see at other gyms and in the summer they would put big tractor tires outside for everyone to flip and those round stones. They also had a containment zone for the catty bodybuilders. Any other gym just feels like a waste of money in comparison, might as well save for a home gym. It still baffles me that such a scrote heavy zone, which would be considered "scary" by most, because they're so serious about it and they look "scary", were the only ones who would nip it in the bud if noobs to that gym wanted to be lesbophobic.

Anonymous 10/25/22 (Tue) 01:55:14 AM No. 295835

>>295421
Thank you, sorry to hear that you're having to rebuild your self esteem as well. I'm still struggling to understand exactly what happened in my last relationship but basically we met right before pandemic and the whole thing messed up a lot of aspects of her life. I think she had lost so much she didn't know how to deal and even though I supported her she covertly tried to bring me down to her level as a cope, or something like that. She got really mean and nit-picky with me and most of the things she said to me were criticisms, where looking back she honestly had no room to criticize me, I think she was just trying to bring me down any way she could. She both tore me down and emulated/mirrored me which was really confusing. I could go on because the whole situation ended up being a total nightmare but that's just a brief synopsis. It scares me to think that I could fall for someone like that because none of these negative traits showed even a little bit until it was too late and we were living together. I'm terrified to date again sadly

Anonymous 10/25/22 (Tue) 03:20:05 AM No. 295858

>>295835
Thank you for sharing your story anon, that's terrible that it happened to you that way. I'm also scared to love now…but I refuse to the let her change me though and I hope one day you can believe in it again.

Anonymous 10/25/22 (Tue) 11:33:07 AM No. 295882

>>295469
Controversial take, but I think it’s harder to be a masculine straight woman than a feminine homosexual woman. Especially how other women can treat masculine women. I think people will go a lot easier on you if you appear feminine, predictable and non threatening. Ik femmes have their own struggles though, I’m not here to pit homos against each other.

Anonymous 10/25/22 (Tue) 12:42:15 PM No. 295890

>>295882
AYRT, I agree with you. I have masc straight friends and they get treated like utter shit. Sexuality means nothing when you're GNC because society at large will always judge a book by it's cover; no matter how "progressive" people pretend to be. Like you said, femmes have their own struggles and I'm certainly not overlooking that. But I would fucking kill to be able to hide in plain sight without people knowing I'm gay. I've never even truly come out because from a young age I've always been assumed to be gay. At least some women find butches to be very desirable. The masc women I know have a lot of problems trying to find a Nigel because men are wimps and constantly fear emasculation. They also tend to think that if a woman is "rebelling" against gender stereotypes that she'll rebel against him in other ways.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 07:38:59 AM No. 296051

>>295882
NTA, but agreed, unless she's a farmer's wife. Farmer's wives can get away with anything, but if she's without her husband and children, tough luck.
>>295890
I honestly think progressive liberal people are worse with this shit. If you walk around in boots, jeans and flannel with a short haircut or even buzzed in a farming area, people just assume you're a farmer's wife. They'll actually even be friendly to you, until they talk to you and find out you don't have a husband and children of course. You don't have any plausible deniability in areas that aren't as rural and you're still fucked if you blow your cover or you end up dressing more dapper. Ironically enough the one lesbian farmer I saw on TV was a femme.
>At least some women find butches to be very desirable.
wish I could find those

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 11:46:10 AM No. 296073

>>296051
AYRT, liberals are 100% worse. I grew up rural and have lived and worked in various cities and I got way more shit in cities. Some of it was well-intentioned pronoun inquiries but it still makes me feel shitty and others me from gender conforming people who mysteriously don't get asked what pronouns they use. A lot of it was this neo queer "butch is regressive" bullshit which feels like pure cope from trannies tryna shift the blame and then there's the ubiquitous "anyone identifying as a lesbian is a TERF" attitude. In rural areas I didn't get assumed to be a farmers wife due to my race (not overt racism but race mixing is quite rare in those places) but I still wasn't really bothered. The town I spent the most time in is very working class, so the vast majority of people had jobs involving manual labour of some kind so I wasn't dressed too differently from other women. Working a lot of those jobs was refreshing because I met a lot of women who were just like "fuck appearing feminine, if I'm gonna work a job like this I'm doing it in comfort". Now I'm based in an office for a decent chunk of my work I find myself othered again, although I will say the older women have accepted me just fine. It's the younger Millennials and Zoomers that assume I'm a gendie and/or treat me like I'm some unenlightened cavewoman for wearing mens clothes without basing my entire identity on it. I've also been told off by them for keeping my pens in a Slytherin cup, kek. Funny thing is I've never read Harry Potter and only saw the first 10-30 minutes of each film before falling asleep when my HP loving little sister made me watch them. I took the sorting quiz for her and she's the one who bought me the TERF mug, but you know what these types are like. Anyway, I think the problem for women who are attracted to butches/GNC women is that so many of us have trooned out. It makes approaching us much harder because not only are they hoping they got it right and we're SSA, they're also hoping we're not begendered.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 12:22:09 PM No. 296078

I really can't relate to this "conservatives are better than libs" thing just because they judge you quietly and "leave you alone". Do you really feel safe around them? I sure don't as an overtly masc woman. In my experience they talk behind your back and god forbid you get a gf and want to be near her in public. Maybe when you're single and want to be a hermit it's preferable but that's not really what I'd call an environment to build a life. Nah, I'll take a well-meaning lib asking my pronouns any day. Plus I don't want to be assumed a farmer's wife, why would being assumed a breeder be comforting?

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 12:34:02 PM No. 296082

"nowadays liberals are more homophobic than conservatives"
t. USAmerican or Canadian or maybe Western Euro

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 12:39:33 PM No. 296084

>>296078
>Maybe when you're single and want to be a hermit it's preferable but that's not really what I'd call an environment to build a life.
Yeah I'm single, but not a hermit.
>Nah, I'll take a well-meaning lib asking my pronouns any day.
The ones I've come across are usually not well-meaning. I get a lot more stares and snarky comments in the big city and police sends out decoy couples to bait homophobes into attacking, because it's such a big problem.
>Plus I don't want to be assumed a farmer's wife, why would being assumed a breeder be comforting?
The point is they assume you're straight and leave you alone. Meanwhile in the big city homophobes know about butches existing and will faster assume you're a dyke and any woman walkimg next to you is assumed to be your gf.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 01:26:30 PM No. 296092

>>296084
>The ones I've come across are usually not well-meaning.
Ok people giving you bad stares in a big city are not libs, they just happen to live in a city. Cities are pretty diverse and not everyone is going to be a lib. Sounds like you grew up rural.

I live in a big NA city (not the one I was born in but I've always lived in one) and am in a masc4masc relationship atm, we are quite affectionate in public. I've only experienced aggression from one group and it has been black men, assuming they were turbochristians because the way they behave around me is completely unlike anyone else in this city. Besides that, I mostly see old women smiling at me or younger women will give my gf and I appreciative looks. Men are often kind of rude or indifferent towards me but I find that small businesses are actually more welcoming of me since I went further masc than before.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 01:53:34 PM No. 296096

>>296092
>Sounds like you grew up rural.
Yeah and when I went to college in the big city I got harassed more often than before. Every woman from my major I walked with was assumed to be my gf. To the point some didn't want to walk with me anymore, despite not being lesbophobic, it just felt too risky to them. Nobody raised an eyebrow at me in manual labor jobs, office jobs though, different story. It made me a lot more hyperaware and insecure, when before I didn't stand out as much like a sore thumb.
>and am in a masc4masc relationship atm, we are quite affectionate in public.
very cool nonna, hope I can be like you someday

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 04:11:41 PM No. 296114

>>296078
It's simply not true, as someone who grew up in red states. Just because conservatives are less likely to be TRAs who think penises can be female doesn't mean all or even most are accepting. The so-called "conservatives who just leave you alone" are usually the younger "socially liberal but fiscally conservative" types or Log Cabin Republicans, or they make an exception for their friends who came out as gay. I know individual exceptions exist, and I try to not make assumptions, but I tend to feel unsafe with most liberals and conservatives. They're both homophobic in different ways. Liberals will analyze me and want to know if I'm "a good lesbian" (queer) and conservatives think I'm going to corrupt their kids just by existing.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 05:26:56 PM No. 296127

>>295882
I get where you're coming from, but I don't completely agree. I think all GNC women have different kinds of struggles, butches and masculine straight women have a lot of things in common (hostility from women, having their nonconformity seen as a childish transitory phase, men wanting to "fix" them, difficulty dating), butches still deal with systemic homophobia. I know that's going to make me sound like a SJW playing Oppression Olympics though, so I agree and disagree at the same time.

Side note, as much as I'm tired of gender politics 24/7, I think the fact there's no space for masculine straight women is why there are so many Gayyden types. GNC lesbians and straight/bi girls both feel like they need to transition to be acceptable. I'm acquainted with a straight detransitioner, and she's talked about how it was easier for her to get hormones from Planned Parenthood, identify as a "gay transman" (thus getting oppression points and being celebrated on her college campus) and just date bisexual men on Grindr than be a "boring" straight woman and find a straight man that was open-minded enough to accept her the way she is.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 05:50:27 PM No. 296130

>>296078
Firstly, I didn't call rural people conservative, stop pushing your American understanding of politics onto everything. I just said they weren't liberal. Most I know are apolitical because all politicians fuck over the working class. Secondly, I'm married and out frequently with my wife. We still get more homophobia from liberal leaning people because god forbid you marry and settle down, how backwards they view you when you mention kids in your future. Like I said in >>296073 they also tend to assume all lesbians are TERFs, or they're think you're privileged. Whatever it is they will find a reason to be snide and cruel to you. Of course other people are homophobic, but it's less hurtful than being treated like shit and mocked by people who will say to your face that they're your allies.
>Plus I don't want to be assumed a farmer's wife, why would being assumed a breeder be comforting?
Tell me you've never been a victim of serious homophobia without telling me you've never been a victim of serious homophobia.

>>296082
Nice reading comprehension, dipshit. No one said conservative until you two posted. We just said "rural". Very progressive of you to assume all rural people are backwards conservatives. And yeah, I grew up in the middle east so even conservatives don't bother me no way near as much as the demons in my country.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 06:47:00 PM No. 296141

>>296138
Never said only I experienced homophobia but if you have to ask why a lesbian would like to be seen as straight because "ew breeders" - even after all the horrible stories of homophobia that have been posted in this thread - then I'm going to assume you have it easy. I could've done a better job at explaining the rural thing, you're right. But I thought posters here would have the braincells to understand that you're not either a liberal or a conservative and that homophobia permeates through all political identities. I shouldn't have been hostile though, you're right. I am sorry for that.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 07:13:37 PM No. 296145

>>295335
am mulletcat nona my contact info is in the friend finder thread if you wanna add me >>>/g/296103

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 08:38:19 PM No. 296154

Kissing women is just so amazing, and I’m saying this as someone who hid behind the bisexual label until I came out as lesbian. Women kisses are just better than men kisses.

Women have better oral hygiene and we take care of our face/lip skin. Also, idc how middle/high school it is, I love flavored lip gloss and my gf wears this amazing cherry gloss and it makes her lips so soft and kissable. How do straight girls even kiss men with their crusty lips and face fuzz? Girl kissing solos, every time.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 08:51:07 PM No. 296155

im so fucking desperate nonnies, ive been huge lesbo celibate for 20 years, living in a shitty islamic conservative country just made my lesbian life more harder, all the "kweer" people i know around me are mainly bihets but still are pissing me off w their "ugh i wanna kiss a girl! girls are better" and then ends up being the most annoying het retard. i even tried to convert myself to troonism to ease my lesbian desires, i ended up desisting, then to heterosexuality bc i was sick of liking girls, at the end i had a lil small crush on a friend but he told me that he's gay and that he saw that i was just liking him for this kindness (i would never imagine myself fucking w a guy, cocks are way to fucking disgusting), also i used to watch a lot of yuri and then sometimes lesbian porn just to ease my libido but then i discovered radical feminism and i stopped watching it (for the good) (but i still read yuri mangas by female authors only), i feel so doomed i just want to experience what does it feels to have a girlfriend, what does it feels to kiss a woman, what does it feels to be between her legs (and vice versa). when i see girls online being in a lesbian relationship make me sometimes jealous and sad, i cannot experience love bc i live w a bunch of muzzies. this post feels pathetic af, but i just feel like im gettin old and missing a lot..

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 09:34:52 PM No. 296163

>>296141
No harm done. The majority of users on this website are from North America, especially in the US the rural areas are usually conservative (even being apolitical is basically just being conservative, people's values do align with those policies be it fiscal or social) so when you say rural, and then compare that to libs within the same paragraph then it is pretty normal to assume you are making a left vs right comparison. I apologize for coming on strong against you as well. The farmer's wife thing, I'm still currently processing resentment from years of being told I'll birth children and marry a male eventually so that is why I used the word "breeder". It's not actually anything against family planning, though I find the notion of doing it myself intolerable.

I grew up near the Middle East so believe me when I tell you, you and I have more in common than you think. I maintain that the city folk and libs in my corner of North America have been extremely soft and nice towards me even as an indisputably dykey woman out on the street. There are some homeless/addict types and "normal" religious men trying to start shit that I mentioned before but they're so rare ime. Doesn't mean your experiences are any less deserving of sympathy, I'd just like to get across that I'm not some silver spoon tenderqueer who knows no hardship. It is precisely those years of hardship in my country of origin as well as the places I've moved to along the years that I have the opinion that I do. My main stance is that any homophobe is garbage and I'm perhaps foolish enough to be as eager to take on someone screaming slurs at me as someone who is quietly thinking I'm going to hell. Of course my former shithole home is far, far worse but I don't really care to compare how bad people have it in different countries. It's apples to oranges.

Anyway, I'm wishing you and your lady love all the best.

>>296155
>people i know around me are mainly bihets but still are pissing me off w their "ugh i wanna kiss a girl! girls are better"
Ok this is hella funny because >>296154 sounds just like them in this post.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 09:55:30 PM No. 296166

>>296073
>although I will say the older women have accepted me just fine
Just what is it with older women being more accepting anyway? I feel like I get the stink eye from women under 45 all the time for being butch but ladies in their 50's and up? They always love me and treat me like the daughter they never had, complimenting me on my style and clothing and genuinely admiring how "though" I am. I swear when I was inches away from trooning out my older female coworkers unknowingly kept me from falling off the edge.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 10:28:22 PM No. 296174

>>296078
I seriously feel like some anons do take the "liberals = regressive genderists, conservatives = based anti-trannies" dichotomy pill. It's probably fed by the two-party system in the states with the mindset bleeding over into other countries. Conservatives, as in people with conservative social values including those that regard gender roles, only hate trannies because they associate them with homosexuality and that's that. They're never to be trusted with our rights or thought of as "allies" just because they don't ask for your pronouns. Fuck, along with talking about gender identities they also banned talking about sexual identity so that a lesbian female teacher can't mention her wife or support a kid with two same sex parents or she could risk being fired for "imposing homosexual propaganda on the children". That's why it was called the "don't say gay" bill.

As for a lot of liberals who aren't just the male feminist type of faux reformists, they usually haven't been exposed to the degeneracy of the trans movement so they just see them as a "harmless minority deserving of their identity" and are pressured and battered into complying out of fear of ostracization. Moreover people lobbying for trans organizations like Jennifer Pritzker are opportunistic republican conservatives, meaning they'll fund a liberal if it helps them with their insane transhumanist agenda but will not comply with the rest of their ideals. This discussion genuinely makes me wonder what people see as a "liberal" or a "conservative" anyway, if someone is accepting of you as a gay person, especially as a gender-nonconforming one, it's actually a very liberal stance. Just because a person is a countryman with no university degree or any idea of deep social commentary doesn't make them "conservative".

>>296127
I actually think the point about becoming a "gay trans man" i.e. a heterosexual woman with extra steps is less about not being a "boring straight woman" but more about an attempt at reaching sexual liberation and being able to fool around with no consequences. If a woman is sexually active she's considered a whore putting herself in a risky situation with rape and pregnancy, but as a man you're either equal or dominating your sexual partner.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 10:37:32 PM No. 296175

>>296174
>if someone is accepting of you as a gay person, especially as a gender-nonconforming one, it's actually a very liberal stance
People's definitions of acceptance seem to differ. What one might see as mere tolerance, another could see as real respect.

Anonymous 10/26/22 (Wed) 10:48:25 PM No. 296177

>>296175
Well, social (i.e. not fiscal) conservatism as a philosophy isn't about respecting individual life choices, i.e. tolerance. They're about conforming to social expectations based on traditionalism which being in support of same sex relations isn't a part of. Mental gymnastics like this are exactly what I'm talking about, trying to brand anyone who isn't a complete pronoun-inquiring circus clown "conservative" or someone framing their homophobia as wokeness as a "liberal". Shit like that leads people straight into allying with Breitbart-esque publications just out of desperation and ending up being exploited and fully cannibalized.

reposted because I'm retarded and accidentally deleted half of a sentence

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 01:57:02 AM No. 296198

>>296174
>I actually think the point about becoming a "gay trans man" i.e. a heterosexual woman with extra steps is less about not being a "boring straight woman" but more about an attempt at reaching sexual liberation and being able to fool around with no consequences. If a woman is sexually active she's considered a whore putting herself in a risky situation with rape and pregnancy, but as a man you're either equal or dominating your sexual partner.
AYRT, I think it's a mix of both. This can be taken to the detrans thread on /snow/ if needed, but the trans thing is basically the next evolution of when every alt girl identified as bisexual on Myspace or the whole "LUG" thing. It's both a coping mechanism for feeling "boring" (I used to identify as nonbinary/agender because I thought being "just" a "cis" lesbian made me boring), and like another nonny said, a lot of conservatives think trans=gay, so if a straight person goes trans, they're basically "becoming gay" and escaping their boring life in the Republican's eyes even if that's not how it works. It's treating being oppressed as a form of social currency in certain circles. I live in the Bible Belt and I still see some radiqueers with dyed hair wearing MOGAI pride merch parading around, because it makes them feel vindicated and powerful to be "living their true self" in such an oppressive space. Meanwhile, I used to constantly double-check myself and worry if I "looked gay" while living in a predominately Christian community, because I can't just opt-out of being gay besides staying in the closet (but even then my family has gossiped on why I'm still single), but they can change their hairstyle and clothes if they really wanted to.

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 05:14:02 AM No. 296214

>>296163
nta and not a burger, but a 14 year old gnc girl got her teeth knocked out, nose broken, near one of the most progressive cities you could think of fairly recently. In another northern city they called the cops on a gay man existing, because he was "disturbing the peace", since there were people at that time who believed covid was sent as a punishment for gay acceptance. The rural south has a history of cross dressing festivals, more women dress gnc more often due to the factories and farms, they also aren't as obsessed with conforming and how everyone has to be normal. Even the religion is different, rural south has the more secular and laidback version, which has been largely replaced by unions. The supposedly progressive north has the destined to be sent to hell version. South votes economically left (the party is pro gay but anti tranny afaik) , but culturally far right in some areas, north votes fundamentalist Christian or pro tranny neoliberal. Plus in the south they wouldn't dream of calling the police, definitely not for something as retarded as being gay. But they're all seen as backwards farmers, white trash hooligans. I never had to run from street preachers in the rural south, deal with neonazi gangs, Muzzie scrotes upset at dykes existing, people calling the police for fuckall and them actually listening, people actually caring enough to bully lesbian couples away etc. Just ONE especially progressive city and people act like the whole north is like that.

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 12:16:12 PM No. 296266

>>296214
What north and south are you even describing rn?

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 01:47:27 PM No. 296279

>>296266
Not the US, I'm being somewhat vague on purpose, since it's a very unpopular opinion kek.

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 02:27:37 PM No. 296284

I hope no one takes this as bait and this is a genuine question.
Why is there so much cheating in the lesbian communities. maybe this is just a stereotype, but from what ive seen there is alot of cheating and drama surrounding cheating in lesbian spaces.

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 02:35:25 PM No. 296285

>>296284
I have never had that problem personally, I have met women whose girlfriends were shitty, but never cheating. The only similar thing I can think about is the talk about lesbians being annoyed when bi women dont take them seriously and leave them for a man, but that isn't cheating.

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 02:41:45 PM No. 296288

>>296284
Moving too fast, Uhauling, ending up suffocating each other, controlling behavior, chasing NRE etc. They think when the honeymoon phase is over that the relationship is dead and end up getting a crush on someone else and think they have to chase it. I haven't dealt with it personally, but every time I take a peak into "the community", ask my ex about things or try to date myself, it comes up. Every other lesbian I talk to on Tinder has just gotten out of a relationship where she was cheated on and she's obviously looking to rebound and make the exact same mistakes as before. I'm in my 20's though, before someone in their 30's wants to yell at me with "that never happens".

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 02:52:06 PM No. 296294

>>296288
>>296284
>>296285
I've been cheated on before and in my first relationship too which was long term. What >>296285 described happened and it was a perfect description of the cheating. Honeymoon phase was over and they acted out on a crush. I on the other hand choose to not date after the fact to not put any other person through any baggage I may have.In the future I hope I can open myself up to a better relationship hopefully with an emotionally avaliable mature person.

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 02:58:56 PM No. 296295

>>296284
Cheating is just common across the board, it's not a lesbian issue at all. I'm sure uhauling contributes to it but straight people have the same issue of losing interest as soon as the honeymoon is over and developing crushes that they furtively nurse until it escalates into an affair. Relationships take a lot of effort even when you're super compatible, many people are ill-prepared for the reality of loving someone.

Speaking of that, my gf and I have been discussing marriage in the future and I'm getting excited thinking of ways we could propose, which one of us would beat the other to the punch, etc. She's my perfect woman. I love her so much!

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 03:37:40 PM No. 296305

>>296284
I've never personally noticed there being any more cheating than with straight people but when it does happen I would agree with >>296288 . I feel like the u-hauling is a real issue with a lot of lesbians and the girls I've dated have wanted to make it official at first date, preferably even earlier. And a ton of female couples that I know literally move in after less than a year of knowing each other and I never got that.

Anonymous 10/27/22 (Thu) 06:28:48 PM No. 296321

>>296163
I feel ya on healing from years of being told you will be a wife and you will be a mother. For the longest time I thought I wanted to be a single crazy cat lady 'til death. It wasn't until I fell in love that I realised that I actually did want those things, it was just the thought of having a husband and having to do the unspeakable with him to have a baby that repelled me. I still get the odd bout of "is this just years of religious and cultural programming propelling me along this path? can I really trust my desires?" and I'm nearly 32. We probably do have a lot in common but I can be an abrasive autist if I don't stop and think before I speak/post, lol. I live in Britain and have worked a lot in western European cities and I've found that city moids are typically the most unhinged and think nothing of yelling "dyke" at you as if it's the most normal thing in the world to do. Given that the last time a homophobe got up in my face I ended up arrested for aggravated assault, I prefer the kind of people who just glare at me. YMMV and all that but I've found the rural community I live and work in doesn't give two shits either way on gay people. They won't call you names and they won't throw you a pride parade either, which suits my wife and I just fine. Of course there's the outliers and the grumpy old people and psychotic young moids trying to prove themselves, but it's not too bad. IMO cities just seem to make people more batshit in general, regardless of political views.
>I'm perhaps foolish enough to be as eager to take on someone screaming slurs at me as someone who is quietly thinking I'm going to hell.
Yeah that's how I was for most of my life. I think growing up like we do just makes you wanna swing at anyone who starts shit, especially once you have your "freedom" in the west. At least that's how it was for me. Getting arrested and going through anger management was the wake up call I needed. Homophobes 100% deserve to get punched, but I'm not derailing my life for them. Not unless I have to act in self-defence. Anyway, thank you for response. Wishing you all the best too, nona.

>>296166
AYRT and I've been wondering that myself. Sometimes I think that maybe they've just been around the block enough to know that it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, butch or femme, you should just treat people as they treat you. That's the vibe I get from them anyway. A lot of them are mothers though and are very maternal towards me. When I had moids calling me a man or asking sex questions it was the older women who got up in their face and told them to shut the fuck up. They compliment me on my style too, lol. It's the sweetest thing. Having had a former model for a mother who loathed me being GNC, it honestly has me grinning from ear to ear when they tell me I'm looking handsome in my suit or whatever. I know what you mean about trooning out. We have a FTM at our work and these women talk about how they hope she learns to love herself and live authentically and I think, man, I couldn't do that to them, not after they've defended me so much and treated me with such kindness. I think some of the ones I'm closer to know the struggle though, it's not discussed but when I'm getting nasty comments or rude stares they're always there to tell me there's nothing wrong with being a masculine woman and they're proud of me for being myself. It's like maternal telepathy or something.