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File: 1656968222840.jpg (110.07 KB, 600x485, renee-vivien.jpg)

No. 273508

Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win! Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (use a VPN, incognito mode, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).

Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?
>what’s your local lesbian scene like?
>cute stories about your gf
>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?
>coming out stories
>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?
>bitch about being lonely
>tips for coping with being lonely
>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?
>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?
>what's your type?
>when did you know you were gay?
>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian?
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
>best date/match? worst?
>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?
>dating app horror stories
>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community
>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate
>lesbian history, literature, and politics

previous threads:
#1- >>>/g/132141
#2- >>>/g/174105
#3- >>>/g/200981
#4- >>>/g/247377

No. 273512

were you lesbians too busy munching vagina to make a new thread until it was ALMOST too late? Shameful! xx
is that natalie clifford barney btw? impeccably based

No. 273522

I could be busier, my gf works too much.

No. 273568

Not to be horny but I swear to god, if I'm not in between a woman's legs eating her out soon I'm gonna go insane.

No. 273657

I started dating a girl a few weeks ago. Last night out of nowhere she brings up TERFs and how much she hates them.
Anyone ever deal with this before? She was sympathetic to my views on trans women in women's sports so I was surprised to hear this.
It's not something I'd break up over but it is bothering me a little bit.

No. 273659

Does she even know what "terfs" actually believe, or does she just think they're a bogeyman like most terf-haters do? I find many terf-haters don't realize they themselves are actually cryptoterfs.
If she thinks transwomen aren't interchangeable with women in practical scenarios like sports, she's a terf in most troons' eyes.

No. 273661

>be zoomer lesbian (18)
>the only homogay i know bruv
>i guess i should join a group to network with the other homogirls?
>ooh cool sports groups and hobby groups across bongland
>all the women are like 27+, many middle aged
>groups established before i was born
every single social/hobby group for lesbians has older women. None my age. I feel like if i joined any I’d just be this awkward chubby faced, gangly teenager trying to relate to confident and interesting grown women. I don’t think there are any lesbian spaces irl with girls my age. So i don’t think i would be accepted by these groups, and i couldn’t connect with them. Do i just have to cope until I’m in my late twenties? Dayum. Does anyone else feel this way or know any spaces for young homogirls? Or is it going to be filled with void/voidself tiktokers?
Nonnie there have been women on this site who have accounts of peaking their friends and girlfriends. This isn’t a dead end, only a challenge. I believe in you, i mean we were all peaked once.

No. 273674

Your gen will possibly be retarded even when you reach 27+ because my gen never did buy into this bs and yours very much does. At the older circles you describe (which I belong to) nobody actually believes the tranny propaganda fully, some are unaware that theyre cryptoterfs as other anon said. Dunno, your gen seems way into coddling troons compared to mine.

Not sure how you're gonna cope unfortunately nona.

No. 273675

Idk what to say about enbies btw, the ones who only date women always screech the loudest for the dumbest shit. So whiny but not violent, they're odd sort.

No. 273682

Those are lesbians overcompensating because even the label of "cis lesbian" is now a "terf dogwhistle" so they have to go nonbinareeee and become super obnoxious about it lest they're accused of being "cryptoterfs". And they often are because as a woman and even more so as a lesbian in queer spaces you just can't win if some TIM wants you to lose. By merely intentionally misinterpreting her words or even entirely making shit up about her a TIM can turn the entire community against any woman he doesn't like faster than she can say "transmisogyny exempt". Must be sad always walking on eggshells, good thing it's not me kek

No. 273684

DA but I'm wondering, how can you tell if someone will be easy enough to peak? I've never tried with people online mostly because I don't want to risk being "found out" and abandoned by my friends.

No. 273750

>Nonnie there have been women on this site who have accounts of peaking their friends and girlfriends. This isn’t a dead end, only a challenge. I believe in you, i mean we were all peaked once.
Yeah but I'm an oldfag. I peaked years ago and don't really want to care about peaking someone who still parrots TWAW and "woman's brain in a man's body" bs. I just want to settle down with a based gf and never talk about gender bullshit again.

No. 273790

File: 1657119630862.png (538.5 KB, 576x559, 1657009598687.png)

>finally shave my head
>start dressing masc
>in the best shape i've ever been
>get the tattoos i've wanted for years but was to insecure to get due to my family telling me i would look too manly
>finally feel comfortable in my body for the first time in my life
>remember that god nerfed me by making me a womanlet

i know height shouldn't matter but i just want to look like a cool butch instead of a 12 year old boy! do any other gnc women itt struggle with their height not matching their perception of themselves? i feel like people talk (or at least think) about me the same way people in the celebrity thread talk about picrel (minus the troonery). kek this is my karma for making fun of manlets for so long

No. 273791

The height difference in this pic always makes me laugh

No. 273795

You just say some crypto stuff and see if she starts screeching TERF RHETORIC. If she doesn't, she doesn't know enough about discourse to clock you, nor does she know enough about the batshit logic troons use to spread their ideas. That's a peakable, reasonable person. You start peppering conversations with more ideas and you'll find she agrees often. You then put a disclaimer saying "ofc this would get us rape threats if people knew we think this" and the wheels start turning. They start to get curious as to why their reasonable ideas would get them excommunicated from the community, that's when you start to hit them with more and more facts and lived experiences.

Speaking the truth will eventually get you to a place where you can say whatever the hell you want, as long as you've done so with a sense of compassion and vulnerability. Basically, re-run your own peaking but slower.

I'm GNC and short but I've gotten nothing but positive attention from women tbh. You just need to get comfortable with more nuanced power dynamics, if you are a dominant person then you just are. You embody that regardless of height, especially as a woman. Men have like no sense of self, they just always look dumb if they're short. Women have range. Just because you're masc also doesn't mean you have to be domineering, it's not always the most obvious answer that ends up being the most natural. My advice is to occupy your own body and embody what comes easily. You don't have to be a tall daddy butch stereotype to be butch.

No. 273796

GNC4GNC couple, I lean more masc. My gf is taller but weaker than me, I like the rush I get from letting her bully me. I could technically push back way harder than she can but that I relinquish power to her is hot. We do also play it straight sometimes, I overpower her and she melts away in my grasp. But even then shes getting overwhelmed by a woman smaller than her. I like our dynamic. Short masc women are blessed too!

No. 273809

I've never viewed a woman as less butch or attractive based on height. Imo it's the same as manlets, if you're insecure and weird about it it's unattractive but if you're confident and don't develop a complex about it won't matter. In my area at least almost every butch woman I've met has been shorter than me and still extremely hot and masc.

No. 273823

Don't let it bother you.

I'm Butch and very masc to the point of getting "sir'd" at times and I'm all of 5'3. Muscular but smallish frame. It depends on how you fill out the space you occupy. You're you, you're the height you are, it is what it is.

Relax, don't be meek, but don't take up space like a scrote either. You just have to get your energy together.

My girl is 5'7, athletic, and got about 45lbs on me. She's much bigger than I am but our dynamic is still what it is. I'm physically stronger than her but we play by ear. Depsite being smaller, she likes me to dominate her and I do not feel like any kind of -let when I do it lol.

I'm proud of your progress. Work on the confidence next. I believe in you, nonna.

There's a butch thread in here somewhere. Stop on by.

No. 273867

Not to be That Guy, but I wish this was me. A lot of the lesbian stuff where I am skews younger towards the zoomer crowd and most of them are fluffy cottagecore Tiktok types. I'd love to have somewhere to talk to fellow 27 year olds IRL.

No. 273900

Would you date a girl who lives with her ex? I just started seeing someone and I really like her, but she lives with her ex. They only dated for 5 months a year ago but I already can feel myself getting jealous.

No. 273932

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Nonnies why am I so retarded at flirting with girls? I keep seeing this girl I think is cute but we never say more than 2 words to each other but we always give each other this look like we both want to talk more but neither of us are going for it. Admittedly maybe I'm not automatically clockable as gay so maybe she's questioning her shot with me? I see her a lot in the store I go to but I don't want to bother her while she's at work. I've only ever been flirted with by scrotes which I was never receptive to it so I don't know how to act when someone I potentially can like does it back to me.

No. 273934

>Would you date a girl who lives with her ex?

No. 273947

Does anyone else constantly struggle with feeling like a “predator” around other women? Whenever I’m in a locker room or something like that I get this horrible feeling of guilt since I’m attracted to women, and I feel like I’m invading their space even though I’m also a woman. I don’t like stare at women changing or anything pervy like that, but I still get the grossest feeling. Maybe it’s just years of repression idk but I’ve felt like this ever since i was a teenager

No. 273949

You described the quintessential homosexual experience, every lesbian woman and gay man that I know experiences this to at least some degree. Being embarrassed of their presence in a locker room or even helping someone with straightening out their collar or other actions that involve physical intimacy, we've been conditioned to believe ourselves to be inherently predatory just for being gay. I remember when I tried to explain this to a straight friend of mine and she didn't understand it at all and was surprised to even hear it because she had never even considered it to be a thing. We live in an alternative reality where the same rules don't apply to us as they do to the majority, when a straight girl says she "doesn't mind if a lesbian crushes on her" she doesn't realize that we have years of homophobic grooming under our belts that affect our mindset and behavior every day.

No. 273961

I always felt the opposite way tbh, that I was too exposed when changing around other women and didn't understand why I was so shy. Turns out women seeing my body is intimate to me because I'm into them lol. But after realizing I'm gay I've felt some predatory fears too, not towards changing rooms as I've not used one since school but rather in more casual settings where my behavior can be seen as flirty. I've filtered my words and feared being seen as a creep. I've loosened up on all that now though, I just make sure I dont literally hit on someone if I don't want to shoot my shot and go live my damn life. It's not that deep, a homophobe will still say you're a predator and no amount of filtering will change that. It's their problem.

No. 274055

I wouldn't try flirting too much whilst she's at work since it can become pretty awkward since it's not like she can just leave if you made her uncomfortable (although from what you've said that doesn't sound like the case imho). You could always leave her a simple message + your number on a receipt or something and see what happens. The worst that can happen is her not getting back to you! Though if you do that, make sure she knows its from you in one way or another - I wrote my crush a note and she ended up thinking it was from a moid friend of mine and they started dating shortly after. Needless to say I was suuuper bummed.

No. 274086

Embarrassing TMI but I've been so fucking horny lately I can't take it, I'm debating on whether just to hook up with some bicurious girl only to satisfy my needs because I'm deadly afraid of being u-hauled after just one no strings attached fling. I'm single and I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment, I don't have that much trouble finding company but god damn am I not willing to deal with the fallout of me not considering presenting the engagement ring as foreplay. Why must our community be like this. I just want to have fun.

No. 274137

Weird, the lesbian community in my city are all nonmonog sex addicts. It took so much searching to find someone who actually wants to build a life lol

No. 274153

…are most lesbians like that? That’s pretty sad. I mean i feel like people are like that in 2022 regardless of sexuality, but i still had hope.

No. 274155

Yeah just try dating apps nonnie. I get pestered by the poly/"ethically non-monogamous" women all the time and I'm not even looking for that. This is especially true if you're on like tinder which is known as a hook-up app more than for relationships

No. 274163

the non-handmaiden monog lesbians are already in loving long term relationships so yeah, the dating pool is mostly hypersexual people.

No. 274171

The hypersexual poly "lesbians" are always bihet pillow princesses who want their boyfriend in on the deal. I have never met an actual lesbian who would've been okay with just a hookup but maybe I hang around the wrong scene tbh. I don't trust dating apps because they're filled with troons and the aforementioned poly degenerates looking for an unicorn threesome.

No. 274178

Most lesbians - most women frankly - don't have a lot of sexual partners over the course of a lifetime and prefer committed relationships, so you're gonna find this an uphill challenge no matter the venue. And the troons and couples are annoying but they can be spotted pretty much from space.

No. 274206

Why do i feel like such a scrote for liking short/petite/shy girls? When i say they make me feel ‘protective’ i feel like such a male

No. 274231

Nah, it's fine trust me.

No. 274337

When I tried using apps I put in my bio was looking for hook-up and casual FWB types with women around my age instead of long-term relationships, and I only got attention from men (troons and regular ass men), teenagers, some women my mom's age (and they weren't even hot). It sucks.

No. 274380

Reading your post made me nervous because this feeling has been with me all my life. I came out when I was 18 and couldn't keep any friendships from before that time because I had a feeling they'd see me as predatory. I'm embarrassed about being affectionate with my female friends and it goes to the extreme of me being unable to initiate sex in committed relationships. Every therapist I had since then couldn't help me much with it, so I just go on feeling like shit.

No. 274489

What do you think about women who had plastic surgery? I'm bi (i know, not my thread but i wanna ask lesbians) and i want to live the rest of my life with a woman but for some reason i'm self-conscious about having had surgery around women. Not men because i know their pornsick brain don't care despite all the hate they spout about it. I don't know, do you nonnas hate it? I know i'm mentally beyond fucked up but i like the soft bimbo look (think random instagram baddie, not cartoonish true bimbo fetishists).

No. 274493

Nobody cares as long as it's not botched or you have a neo vag

No. 274497

Obviously i'm not a troon, and i don't think i look botched at all. Should i be upfront and talk about it or should i not say anything unless asked? I'm so stressed about it it's ridiculous i hope i can find a girlfriend who likes it

No. 274510

Plastic surgery in itself isn't the problem but the kind of people who usually choose to get it aren't really the kind I get along with. I'm more into styling yourself with clothes, accessories and hairstyles instead of obsessing over something you can't change without invasive procedures, it seems very vain and BDD-esque to me to get nose jobs for a perfectly normal nose, lip fillers or breast implants. To me it tells me about your personal values and how you live your life by and it probably won't match with mine.

No. 274556

It depends. It's a turn-off overall but "plastic surgery" covers an umbrella of things nowadays, if someone had boob/butt implants or fillers injected that would be a dealbreaker but if someone broke their nose and got a reconstruction or got some stomach fat removed, I don't really care.

No. 274562

The only problem I see is if the woman is constantly talking about surgeries she wants and looking for more things to change about herself, but that is more of a self-image problem than having something done previously.

No. 274564

Do you think most lesbians that you know are critical of media and pandering more so than bisexual/straight people? Do we see through the bullshit because we're less male adjacent then the rest of society? I admit it I'm sperging on the queer and spicy straight thread but most iconic gay pairings are such blatant pandering it blows my mind that people just accept the scraps of homosexual relationships. Or never want to look back and criticize it.

No. 274569

For the absolute love of God and all that is holy don't bring your kawoshin/utenanthy hateboner in this thread

No. 274570

Stop following me, I'm not bringing up those ships you are. Go to M if you want to discuss that. I just want to talk about lesbians views on media.

No. 274571

From what little I've seen, I'm happy if it makes someone else happy but I dip when it's obvious the relationship doesn't interest me.
I watched She-ra a while back because I heard it had good women representation but came out disappointed with the shipping. The only pairing I wanted to read fan-fiction about was Entrapta x Hordak despite the large Female cast. A similar thing happened when I watched Steven Universe though that's because of a lot of reasons. It makes sense knowing Rebecca Sugar married a man and Noelle Stevenson's troubled sex life that the lesbian couples they create aren't free from moid influence or if they are, they're not very compelling.
Either that or I should just watch/read lesbian media for adults already.

No. 274572

Thanks for the reply nonnie. Yeah I agree, I think I'm just really bitter because I've been waiting for good representation for awhile now and there always seems to be moids involved in every homosexual relationship. I think I watched up until season 2 of she-ra and stopped because I was annoyed with all the groveling that Noelle was doing for twitter. I didn't expect Entrapta x Hordak to be a thing that's funny. Yeah! The western media thread has had some great commentary on all these shows.

I have forgotten about books, there have been some decent ones I've read before. Not fiction but I really enjoyed reading Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present when I was in college. I should try and reread it.

Oh that also reminds me of If These Walls Could Talk 2 and Chloe Sevigny's character. The commentary on butch/femme dynamic seems as current as ever lol.

No. 274575

"representation" is an inherently retarded concept that truly doesn't matter unless you're under 18 or autistic/bpd. Sometimes a ship clicks on you, sometimes it doesn't but sperging about how x ship is shit inherently bad/"Bad Rep" because it doesn't appeal to you is retarded as hell. You don't see lesbians or any well ajusted adults having those conversations outiside autistic melting pots like Tumblr or Reddit because trying to add a morality spin (trying to pull a "it's Bad because i don't like it) in 2d ships is waste of time. Again, this is a >/m/ discussion

No. 274576

And for the record, i mostly dislike all those popular gay ships like korrasami/catradora/that owl house ship/any SU bullshit because i find them bland, even in fanfiction. But you will catch me dead sperging about how they're ""Bad ships"" ""unhealthy Rep"" and ""why anyone likes this?"" because i'm not a teenage anymore and go outiside from time to time.

No. 274584

"Good representation" died with Naomi and Emily on Skins and even then it was shaky but at least it wasn't too uwu and some effort was being made. "Bad rep" doesn't make me mad though, stuff like Rue and the troon on Euphoria just makes me roll my eyes and lots of the other stuff like Owl House and Heartstopper feel like they're made for 13 year olds.

No. 274587

Ohh yeah that's true (Naomi fucked up so many times lol). I also somewhat liked the Jasper and Lapis from SU relationship since it showed an abusive relationship kind of well imo. That reminds me of another British show, Switch (2012), where one of the main characters is a lesbian. That one was pretty fun to watch.

Yeah, when I was younger it made me disappointed because I was so hopeful but now I'm not. I realized that most media is made by nepo-babies or dorky moids writing out their self-insert fantasies. That's true, I had to google Heartstopper I can't even get into anything teen related because I'm an old fart now.

No. 274603

Jasper x any gem were the most compelling lesbian dyanmics to come out of SU. It's very ugly in fan-fiction, the abuse hits a spot that keeps the content engaging. But even when SU was at its prime of popularity, any x Jasper was either too much for the 10 year old fans or too risque for the genderspecial teens/adults.
It's a damn shame. It was because most young girls didn't believe a lesbian relationship could be abusive, lesbians were perceived as "too abuse" so the ship shouldn't be seen as to not create more of that in media or something, that women couldn't love in that way while men could in their fanfics, that abuse in it of itself shouldn't be seen…
I don't find cartoon characters titillating but the lack of acceptance in the fandom circa 2015 didn't help the general perspective of what the "lesbian space rock show" was capable of being to young girls who watched it on tv. And that plays a part as to why more nuanced lesbian things are so foreign to gen Z, they weren't exposed to anything since that's far too much for children's programming and is in no news stories. The last I saw of that was some 90s shows with carpet-muncher jokes.
Maybe we'd have less clueless genderspecial women if SU was created for teenagers instead and the mayor guy called them his favorite dykes one time or something.

No. 274649

Or, you could stop expecting a cartoon to have every mature theme you want as an adult.

No. 274671

I remember when this was kinda the only lesbian representation (along with the L word) when I was growing up so I'd watch it over and over again lol. That and the one scene in Cruel Intentions, and the other in Jennifer's Body

No. 274689

Yeah I completely agree and I can understand that too. We hardly get any lesbian/lesbian couples without some moid being like yeah lesbians abuse just as much as men do! Rebecca Sugar really did write the realities of abuse pretty well. I think even straight relationships haven't been that nuanced. Like the whole abused partner becoming the abuser (but they aren't the abuser they're just fighting back/ trying to create boundaries). It's a shame I think most of us have had abusive relationships and it would be nice to have some media to warn other babygays to not put up with it.

Yes! I totally agree with that. Now that I'm getting older I lowkey understand the whole generations bickering amongst one another (even though it's stupid). They for one don't know what it was like to live in a world that was still unabashedly homophobic. Things have changed so fast in the past 20 years and they assume that life has always been this way.

I remember that show Sugar Rush and how it was a whole series of the lesbian character pining after her straight friend. You know what that's just like that MTV show Faking It. So many porny/destructive relationships. It might not be the lesbian death trope but it's close enough for me.

No. 274695

I remember being introduced to the L word because my grandpa was watching the series sound fullblast in the living room.
My ex forced me to watch it with her same as Queer as Folk ommmggggg I was so upset when one of the only lesbians characters had an affair with a man.
I remember how male gazey they made the trailers for Jennifers Body but how the message of the story was a lot better than that? I need to watch it.
Remember when Marnie was there that ghibli movie everyone on tumblr thought it was a lesbian romance kek and it turned out being her grandma/mom.

No. 274738

Lmaoooooooooo (o) did you watch the L word with grandpa? Idk why that’s so funny to me. Like i thought old men were supposed to watch westerns or something
I loved when marnie was there because it’s so easy to perceive as a lesbian movie until the last twenty odd minutes. Anna is very relatable, i always grew up thinking i was weird and didn’t deserve love, cut myself off. It resonates with lots of lesbos i believe. We’re outsiders is at least one way

No. 274740

didn't naomi fuck cook at some point in the beginning as part of a bet or am i misremembering? i definitely remember emily fucking JJ tho to make him feel better about something, that was stupid

No. 274745

Nooooo when you said that I feel like a hidden memory was unearthed.
>In the last episode of series 4, Naomi reveals that she fell in love with Emily when they were younger, but was afraid of
>Emily's effect on her, so she slept with boys to try to get rid of her feelings for Emily. Much of the third series is about
>Naomi dealing with her feelings for Emily and questioning her sexuality.

Now I get why bisexuals get upset when you criticize lesbian relationship in media. Because all this media is created for them and moids. Although some characters may have been latebloomers….. Literally almost every fucking relationship involves a man in media. Media may portray a homosexual relationship but it usually is always comprised of a bisexual and a lesbian. I should make like a lesbian media bingo card lol.

Yeah right lmao. My sister tried watching Mad Men with him and he kept muttering "those bitches" under his breath whenever a female actress came on.
Yeah for real, and with Up on Poppy Hill that was two questionable anime right there. It was a cute movie overall I remember balling my eyes out to the ending.

No. 274752

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i downloaded a couple lesbian dating apps, and more than half the girls on there were they/thems or he/theys. only time you'd see a she/hers were TIMs and white women who looked like they were looking for unicorns. its even worse for butch women, almost all of them claim to be nonbinary or gender queer or whatever. my hope to find a butch/gnc gf has decreased greatly.

No. 274754

I'd give anything to have a girlfriend who thinks I'm cute, smart, and funny and tells me often. I love giving and receiving compliments, encouragement, reassurances, etc., so I'm very kind and supportive to everyone in my life, not just romantic partners. It comes naturally to me and people seem to really appreciate it. But I guess somehow I choose poorly and have always ended up with exes who hated me and insulted me even while we were dating… So now I'm laying here crying imagining what it'd be like to have an actually healthy relationship with a woman who loves me and wants to make me happy and will gladly say nice things to me, authentically and unprompted. I don't think I'm unlikeable or unworthy. I know I have a lot to offer, and I'm sure one day, hopefully, maybe, someone could love me like that. It just feels so far away that I can't help but feel sad.

No. 274770

What the actual fuck perused the butch thread and it's just bi's larping as butches and telling each other they can call each other butches and nonnies posting he/him nonbinary women saying their butches.

Nonnie When I watched Law and Order SVU there was a character that got abused several times and she had a talk with olivia asking her why does this happen to me? Do I have a target on my back and these things will always happen to me? And Olivia said no these situations can happen to anyone anytime you just need to watch your back and be prepared. The same thing used to happen with me with creeps pushing my boundaries because I'm short. I thought it was going to be my way of life until I realized that this sort of thing can happen to anyone and you just need to stand up for yourself and call creeps out.
I think the same goes for getting into bad relationships. You got to look for the red flags and have the self love to cut shit off when it starts to get bad. When you're desperate for love the sharks can smell it. Love yourself more and cultivate the perfect relationship with yourself where you enjoy your life so much you get the mindset that I love my life so much does this person deserve to be in my life? Do they add to my life? and if not you can cut them out. And the more you put yourself out there and meet more people the closer you get to finding the one.

No. 274819

Yeah I thought that thread must be so pointless, especially when /lg/ already serves us all… and then I realized that's what's happening.

No. 274847

Yeah it's too bad and what's crazier is how they see nothing wrong with it and even double down. Just no respect.

No. 274851

idk i think it was a bit mentally ill to go troll that thread when you can just hide it and stick to the real thread of ours here. whomever did that, ofc ofc ofc.

anyways, who here is into fitness? my gf misses climbing but i hate the idea of rougher hands. she'd want me to be her climbing partner and i'd also rather it be me but… we use fingers a lot, i dont wanna have to use my hands less in bed if they get sandpapery.

No. 274857

Hey ladies asking again as i will clarify we’re both obvs female but is it ok to date a 25 year old at 18? I heard age gaps were common in lesbian relationships but i think i would prefer someone my age.

I loved kickboxing, wears me out and tested me a lot. You two could spar together, it would be cool to be a badass couple.
Wtf that’s so creepy what did ‘those bitches’ ever do to him? And yeah that movie…it will have that effect on you lol…i was literally curled in a ball

No. 274858

It's not trolling when you disagree with something. Especially when it's a group of people deciding together on whether they can use lesbian terms or not when they aren't lesbians. You seem pretty young with no knowledge of lesbian history. You can't just rewrite something you don't know about. Or when you don't know how older lesbians feel about said words. It sounds like you are a bit mentally ill and trolling.

No. 274862

What is that age old adage divide your age by 2 and add 7. 25/2= 12.5+7= 19.5…. I would say no. I used to tell myself that too we have to have age gaps there's no one out there. I was working at a university and there was a chick I thought was in her early 20s but when we started texting it turned out she was 19 (I was 26). I thought it would be nice to get to know her as a friend and kind of put off that she was a baby. Kind of turned out that even though I'm a little emotionally immature teenagers/young adults are way worse and still figuring their shit out. I look back and remember how inept I was at 20. You never know it might work but the age factor might become a big thing later on in the relationship. Before this I dated someone that was three years younger than me and I sometimes felt like I had a hidden guide on adulting/experience that my ex didn't have. Made the dynamic weird at times. But then I started dating someone 10 years older than me lol. Good luck with whatever happens.

No. 274864

Personally I definitely wouldn't, I'm 22 and wouldn't date an 18 year old even now because that seems so young to me (maybe because where I live they're still in high school at that age). I think age gaps are fine in lesbian relationships when both women are a bit older but when one is very young there will likely be a big difference in maturity (both in terms of literal brain maturity and general life experience) that I wouldn't be comfortable with.

No. 274869

100% no

No. 274871

I'm 21 and I can tell you that it won't work out. Even I'm extremely immature at times but especially with the pandemic a lot of kids missed out on 2 years of emotional growth and experiences.
I thought at 18, I wanted to go out with a guy friend (24) but even then, we were so different emotionally maturity wise with experiences. Your best bet would be 21.5ish-23 if you wanted a younger partner that you could relate to and things would work. Also remember many 18/19s want to party and go out- which you've probably passed already and done. Hence maturity/experiences. Good luck nona, you can still be friends!

No. 274878

I'm a 30something lesbian who just doesn't care about infighting in a thread. Categorically that is trolling. I've said many times that butch is a lesbian-exclusive label but there is zero point to debating bisexuals about it in a dumb ass thread. Sit down.

I would not date an 18 year old at 25, but that is just me. It's easy as fuck to manipulate people who haven't hit their late 20s, don't want that kinda power over anybody. My peers get me better anyway.


We wrestle and I beat her so easily, it's crazy how much it turns her on. I'd like to do kickboxing a lot actually but not sure she'd be down to learn it. I'm bringing this up for sure!

No. 274883

You were the one that started the "debate" by asking that stupid question on a supposedly lesbian board. Then you come over here to comment about it even though you're above "infighting" and you tell me to drop it? Make it make sense.

Sage your shit.

No. 274885

>I should make like a lesbian media bingo card

Please do

No. 274887

So it’s weird for her to like me? I know when some people i vaguely knew knew my orientation this older couple were really weird about it, mostly the guy in his 40s but his gf was in on it too, like because of age i am to be manipulated and because of orientation i am supposed to be their amusement. It leaves such a bad taste that some people are like that and so i am more wary of being manipulated. Ik it’s random it just gets me down.
Again good luck with your kickboxing hopefully she can rival you soon kek

No. 274892

>supposedly lesbian board
where did you get the idea that lolcow is a lesbian board

are you a goldstar btw

No. 274893

What question? I didn't ask anything relating to that thread lol. I also don't have to sage because I made a post that was on-topic, if you'd just read what I wrote after responding to you. As I'm about to do here as well, I can bump if it's on-topic stuff, this ain't a cow board like /snow/ or /pt/.

Age gaps are pretty common unfortunately. Some people think that they could never hurt someone and think "Well I'm childish so it's ok to be with a less mature younger person" but like, they still manipulate regardless if they're not in control of their emotions. Just because they aren't aware of what kinda bs they're pulling doesn't mean it's not happening. Imo avoid people like that, an "immature" person in the late 20s and beyond are red flags.

No. 274934

I love the thumbnail image here. It looks like an album cover.

No. 274946

ahh got the bravery to message this girl to hang out and she said we def can when she gets back in town. she is so cool and beautiful

No. 274991

Woah nonnie that’s pretty exciting!

No. 275032

ikr! i had literally been sitting on it for months, just too scared to do it. i made my friend type it and press send bc i was being a baby

No. 275033

You sound like a newfag
It's called a thread
>Sage your shit.
You do not have to sage on non-cow boards

No. 275034

Age gaps are weirdest when one or both parties are under 25 imo. If it's like a 30 year old and a 40 year old, that's whatever because while they'll have different generational backgrounds around pop culture refs and stuff, there's less of a gap in maturity and life stages.
Yeah, it's definitely weird for a 25 year old to pursue an 18 year old. Even if she's attracted to you she should be shutting that down.

No. 275044

shit i think i matched with a non disclosing tranny, i didn't look at the pictures long but now after they sent me a message and i replied i took a better look at their profile and it might be one of those certain art student agp types you see around sometimes who aren't as blatant as the common ones

No. 275069

Sucks about your blindness. Might be a detrans "afab" as well, if the pictures are somehow that unclear but their phrasing of something confused you. And before lurking trannies feel vindicated, we can all clock you once we see how you look and behave IRL. You will never be women, one can only be born as one. You act like men and that is your true curse, as you are male throughout no matter how stripy your heckin socks.

No. 275072

I think it's unfair to berate anon for not realizing it right away, there's a lot you can hide with angles and filters while being 100% clockable IRL and in moving video. I've been fooled by troons with heavily edited and conveniently angled and curated photos but realized my mistake immediately after seeing a video or candid pictures.

No. 275103

True, sorry that was a bit too rude. As a tip for anons who wanna avoid even accidentally meeting a troon, look for the brow ridge shadow (so it shows from the front) because there isn't an easy filter way to hide it and most troons don't have the money to get that shaved down so they just avoid side view but you can still see it from the front.

No. 275130

honestly i am usually good at clocking troons and since the circles are small here i have seen lot of the local troons irl and recognize the non disclosing trannies on the dating apps but now i just was mindlessly swiping but after checking his profile again i took a better look at the other pictures than just the first one and checked their height and yeah while it could have been detrans female i am pretty sure it was a male after all and unmatched and now i wonder if he thinks i am transphobique or whatever, i replied to him though at first so maybe if this generates any shit irl i guess can just say the dating app was acting fucked up or since he didn't reply me back in hours after my reply he can think i am some sort of insane woman who expects fast replies or something lmao

No. 275177

File: 1657777023884.png (179.92 KB, 400x313, tumblr_inline_nljdpwlFTj1rxlg8…)

>Friend from college who I started talking to again because I have a crush on her and want to meet up with her says she likes fucking straight men despite being gay
>Woman I matched with a few months ago who agreed to go on a date with me only to never try and set anything up or tell me when she's available gets a gf, for some reason her post shows up on instagram even though I don't follow her
>See a bunch of "happy birthday" tweets from my twitter mutuals directed at the person my ex cheated on me with because they're friends with her

Tonight fucking sucks. All the gay women around me are musty bihets with boyfriends or femmes with no personality, when the hell am I gonna get to munch some masc/andro vagina? I don't want the big sexual highlight of this year to be making out with a girl at a lesbian bar during pride. I paid good money for my strap and I haven't used it in YEARS. Circumstance is a bitch and everything else seems to drive it in further.

No. 275225

He knows its because hes a troon, they all know. He cant prove it, let him seethe.

damn thats a tragic amount of stuff to go wrong nonna. dating is a minefield but keep at it if you wanna find someone that suits you.

No. 275247

Oh I'm gonna try to keep at it, it's just easy to get discouraged when most people are either insane or boring. I live and study in a rural area so finding actual lesbians is impossible. The only girl who had any interest in me on my campus was a pansexual enbee and I'm 99% sure it was because I gave her positive platonic attention, she dated around a LOT.
I think I'm more upset about my friend than anything. I clocked her as gay the day I met her and when she told me she was gay I think I helped her a bit with coming to terms with it since I'm pretty open about my sexuality. I feel like the "fucking straight men" thing is a cope for growing up in a middle eastern house where you're told you're going to hell for not fucking scrotes. Still stings a bit to hear though, and I still want to take her to a gay/lesbian bar. I think some female attention would do her some good and make her realize men are unnecessary.

No. 275251

If your friend enjoys having sex with men and has fun, she is not gay in any way and it looks more like you desperate and are hoping she is lesbian despite a pretty huge evidence she is not. A night at a bar is not going to turn her away from men because she is quite obviously attracted to them. Even if you “fix her” for five minutes she will run back to dick eventually

No. 275253

I just opened a message from her and she said she meant to type "fucking WITH straight men" not "fucking straight men". Judging from her typing she must have been drunk or something lol. Crisis averted I no longer want to rope

No. 275254

NTA but I kekked hard at this, glad it was a misunderstanding

No. 275262

I'm glad it was a misunderstanding in the end. There is some self-harm some lesbians pursue to essentially corrective rape themselves when they are raised with deep homophobia but yeah, doing it "for fun" definitely takes it out of that category. Anyway, wishing you the best in finding The One!

No. 275388

File: 1657893448935.gif (1.15 KB, 29x50, chlorox.gif)

Welp, nonas were right. I spent so many days on here getting advice on a million things and defending her but my gf is bi. She "can't love men" but can get off to their bodies and I've seen her notice them right in front of me before. Everything about her that I noticed and pointed out to her, that she kept telling me I'm imagining… It's all true. She loves me too much which is why she couldn't own up to it yada yada. She chose to take my choice away from the start, she knew I didn't want to date a bisexual, regardless of where she is on the Kinsey scale. It was my one deal breaker besides gender stuff. I'm such an idiot. All the times she pretended to understand me as a lesbian or the times that she kept "worrying" I might be bi because I grew up in a shithole country where I had no idea what a lesbian was just her fucking projecting and pretending. She even convinced me to go to the dyke march together, my first one, and it's all tainted.

I'm already in love and my ability to make the right decision for myself has all but evaporated. She has made me feel like I'm insane or paranoid so many times and I was right every time.

She wrote me a novel about her experiences and she's had very few partners plus her first was a male groomer she met at 14 who was her only sexual experience for a long time, etc. My brain is back to making excuses for her, trying to see if she was just conditioned or self harmed but no. I need to stop burying my head in the sand now that she's done shoving my head down into it. She's only dated one male so who is to say there won't be one who's actually nice to her that she won't love? I hate that she simply chose to live under the identity that I've fought for decades to embrace. She just chose to wear it, and then made me feel like a psycho when I noticed things that don't add up.

I still want to psychoanalyze and say she had a bad crossing of pavlovian wires due to her early trauma because she only liked girls before and since this dude but no. She's just bi. I need to stop.

No. 275391

Anon is her only bf the one who groomed her? I'd say I'm bi myself but I can't have relationships with men, I did try(cause I'm in a Muslim country and it'd obviously be easier to date a man) and I didn't feel anything emotionally towards them. I can tell if a man is attractive but I can't connect with them emotionally or really imagine dating one in the long term so I just gave up. I use bi generously here, I haven't done anything further than holding hands with a man and don't really intend to go further with any man ever.
I've also dated and had flirts with women(some of which were bi and had no issue telling me about the men they'd fuck, ew) so I understand your concerns but if your gf really was groomed she could be a confused lesbian or bisexual with no intentions to date a man. You should discuss this openly with her and try not to be judgemental. I know she deceived you and you can obviously break up with her over that but a woman who has been victimized by a man in her formative years will have a skewed view on her sexuality, it may go as far as her unknowingly ignoring her attraction to men as it reminds her of those bad experiences.

No. 275392

She says she's never dating one but she's dated like 4 people in her life. You can't know that kinda stuff with barely any exerience, especially in a muddy situation like hers.

Her knowing I would not even consent to sex with a bisexual, and still lying to me means our months of relationship has been noncon. I'm grappling with the profound cruelty it takes to deceive someone just to get the pussy you want out of them. Do you understand where I'm coming from? I'm not here to validate anybody's sexuality or attractiveness. I'm a human being with a will of her own, a body that she should get to choose the destiny of. She knew how I feel about all this, she did it anyway.

>a woman who has been victimized by a man in her formative years will have a skewed view on her sexuality, it may go as far as her unknowingly ignoring her attraction to men as it reminds her of those bad experiences.

I get it and I sympathize, I do. But I was taken advantage of. I also resent that she spent so long hating bisexuals and women who figured out their bisexuality later on in life when she's only using the lesbian label to "avoid making men think she's available to them". Bro just say queer or reject them? Imagine being such a coward that you wear someone else's identity for the convenience. Pathetic.

No. 275393

Samefag as the last reply but you should also note a lot of bi women feel more intensely towards other women - they just choose to be with men as it's simply easier and more acceptable. She deceived you and in the end this is up to your judgment but I feel like you need to talk this out so you can unwind and stop trying to fix her issues for her. After having an open discussion, if it still bothers you, do break up.
As I said I also had very unsettling experiences with some bi women where I always felt like I needed to compete with men to win them over and deep down I knew that was a lost cause as they always chose the more convenient option.

No. 275394

Anon as I said, she did deceive you and you can break up with her just for that reason alone. Though she genuinely might have confused her attraction as something everyone feels as she probably didn't want to actively date any of those men like she thought a woman attracted to them would. I rarely feel attraction towards men(been a fee years since I last did) so I too at first thought I was a lesbian. I still am not sure about labels and dislike queer so I simply go by bi as to not cause further misunderstandings or hurt anyone.

Again this is your call and it'd be reasonable to break up with her over this but I don't believe she hid her attraction to fuck you but rather because she was ashamed of the way she felt towards a group of people(men) who had already hurt her deeply. A lot of straight women think they're asexual after they get abused in such ways so in her case she might have also been in denial about her attraction because of the trauma.

In the end I don't know her, you do. That's why your choice will be the right one. You're clearly very distraught and I'd say you at least need to take a break even if you have trouble fully breaking things up.

No. 275395

We were about to move in together. I'm really heartbroken.

I'm tempted to post her novel with the names redacted just to get more input. I don't know what to make of this letter she wrote.

No. 275396

Fuck it.

There's something I've been hiding because I was afraid you wouldn't understand and wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore if I tried to explain. You had said in the past that if I were bi you would still be my friend. I'm terrified that you'll label me as a bisexual if that means I won't get to be with you. You're the only one I want to be with, but lying and hiding something from you feels like shit, too. Especially now that you've been open with me. I can only hope you'll attempt to understand my specific way of being and forgive me.

As you know, I went from identifying as bisexual to identifying as lesbian. Here's why.

I can't reliably develop feelings for men. For my entire life, I never developed a proper crush on a boy. Sometimes, my male friends would like me, and I tried to like them back but I just couldn't make myself feel for them. Meanwhile, I had uncontrollably strong feelings for my female friends. Sometimes, a dude would catch my eye, but I feel like it was because I wanted to be like him. I wouldn't feel jealous if he liked someone else. It wasn't the same, with one exception: my one male ex. I definitely wanted to be like him when I was young. I dug his style. I did not know him irl, so maybe it was easier to convince myself that I liked him romantically. No one had ever returned my attention before at the tender young age of 14, so I was excited when the 17 year old noticed me and decided to DM me. The way he spoke to me then was extremely sexual and it definitely felt strange because I hadn't been thinking sexual thoughts about him/us. It was strange and new. He asked me to rate him on a scale of 1-10 and I'd said 10, and then he proceeded to rate me an 8.5. That felt really degrading. But, I didn't know better. He continued to give me sexual attention sometimes, as he would for many women, and I ate it up because for the first time in my life, someone wanted me that I "liked" back. I don't remember the timeline perfect, but when I was about 16, about to turn 17, we started dating online. Being objectified felt weird but I think I established an emotional connection. Ish. But I also think that looking back (especially on that old livejournal I showed you), he provided me with validation and I thought that was the only way I could be loved, because with women I was still a total incel. Sometimes, [childhood crush] would cuddle me or do something flirty and I definitely had a very strong physical reaction to just that. Turns out she probably was attracted to me, she just thought I didn't like her because I was too shy. I had been obsessed with her for like 5 years. Anyway, I digress. I think I was drawn to this man in part because I admired him, in part because we became friends and started getting each other jokes and could discuss the same media etc., because he validated me and because it was my only way to experience sex. I lost my virginity to him when I was 19, and though the experience was very much centered around him and his pleasure and not at all on getting me off, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the sensations at the time. I still disliked blowjobs and secretly thought cum was disgusting. We continued the LDR for a few years and it wasn't healthy. I let him get away with treating me very poorly because I didn't know better, I didn't have anything else. It's not like women would like me. Finally, I had developed feelings for a man. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be capable of developing feelings for another man after him, and I was correct. He would cheat by talking to random women online sexually, constantly. Didn't feel guilty enough to tell me. I found out by snooping. I was apparently addicted to being uncomfortable and suspecting things. I would act out and he would treat me like I was the only problem in our relationship, like only I needed to change. He told me I should write in a personal journal for my mental health, one that I don't show to anyone. I did. At my place, he secretly checked my browser and then snooped on the journal, then proceeded to get upset at finding my grievances about him. I felt violated. I swore off snooping after that and never did it to anyone else again.
I wasn't happy in that relationship anymore but I didn't know how to end it. I developed a crush on a female internet friend that I knew I wasn't physically attracted to (I'm sorry, but she was the most homely young woman imaginable) because she gave me attention, made me laugh, and I liked her voice. She said she liked me back, which is the first time a woman ever did. I left him for her with no remorse. I realized that even being with this woman that I didn't even want to touch felt better to me than being with him. I started reading yuri and realized that it excited me more than any het thing I'd seen. It felt right. If women could like me back, I saw no reason to Id as bi anymore. I only wanted to be with women. When I met that girl in real life, she was in a dissociative state most of the time, and I didn't know how to communicate with her very well. I was honestly afraid of her. It became quickly apparent that I didn't actually have a connection with her either, and it was mutual so we had a friendly breakup and stopped talking much, though we are still casual internet friends. He now identifies as a non-binary transmasculine person (he/him)
I hadn't given up the lesbian identity. I just became determined to find a woman I was actually fully attracted to, that would be attracted to me too. Now that I was aware of yuri and all the other young women who were into it, I knew it was possible. I met [transmasc] through that community and finally had a relationship that just felt healthy and right. It felt incredibly different from the het relationship. I wasn't going to go back after experiencing that. When she broke up with me after a year and a half, that was my first time being a dumpee so I took it really badly, really immaturely. Just went totally batshit, wanted to die, etc. I had that moment of weakness with [male friend who she has assured me doesn’t want her, but totally does as things came out later] then, but it felt so so wrong. He wanted to talk about holding hands and be vulnerable and that didn't interest me at all. Even the sex talk just felt unappealing to me. I was unhealthily trying to find any way to feel better after that breakup. Luckily, he didn't take it too hard that I decided I didn't want that anymore, but also I feel it was shitty of him to try and get things from me while I was in such a vulnerable, heartbroken, insane state.
In the years that followed I got no action aside from the fling with [woman she was obsessed with basically right before we met, a matter of a couple months]. I wasnt really desperate enough to go searching. I wanted to ensure that I tried my best to just get her. When I met her here, I swore off of long distance relationships. Decided I'd rather be single than do that again. Decided I'd rather be single than ever settle again.
I got to know myself quite well sexually. Here's what I learned:
- I can generally look at porn as a spectator, not inserting myself, and get off to it. If something sexual is happening, my pussy responds to it. Even if it's men.
- However, I have no desire to be involved with a man, I don't feel attached to them now that I'm not a teenager craving validation from wherever possible. I could feel turned on by the idea of a man's faceless body (while also feeling that parts of it are disgusting), but when I imagine actually being physically involved with a man, the feeling is adjacent to dysphoria. It feels wrong, it feels anxious, it feels very "this is not where I belong." I had the opportunity to casually experiment with [same guy friend from before] in person or get laid just to get laid, but that didn't appeal to me at all. For about 4-5 years I've been firmly in this headspace of "I'd prefer to be with a woman I genuinely love, and if that's not possible I will be completely single and not have sex."
- if I ever orgasmed from something that wasn't focused on a woman I had feelings for, the orgasm felt incomplete. It felt as though some of the feel-good chemicals that usually are released during orgasm were not released. It felt soulless, empty and ultimately unsatisfying. I had to follow it up by masturbating to the idea of myself with a woman i had feelings for. That would always produce a satisfying orgasm. I could be done after that.

When I fell for you, I heard how much you hated porn, and stopped using it. It wasn't fulfilling anyway. I just looked at you, thought about you. You are everything I seek in a partner. You're the ideal for me. I don't need anything, or anyone else. Don't think for a second that I'm settling for you. I kept this from you because I was terrified of losing you specifically. You're someone that's capable of satisfying all of my needs. You're exactly the type of person I could marry and give my attention to exclusively, for the rest of my life, happily.

I never went back to the bi label because it implies that I would be interested in dating or having sex with a man, and I feel that that would be misleading of me. I'm only interested in connecting with women. Women with pussies. Those are the only people I feel such a deep attachment to, and I don't feel at all disgusted by their bodies. Lesbian is the only label that communicates that to people without having to go through all the nuances of my sexuality.

Do you agree that lesbian is the most accurate label for me? Can you forgive me for hiding until now? I hope so.

No. 275407

I do feel similarly to her - though I've obviously not done stuff with men or dated them for more than a few days/weeks - so I'd guess she's a bi woman who chooses to date women, she's not a lesbian and will never be one. You can't identify as a label just because you feel like it, this isn't a kinsey scale situation youre either gay straight or bi.
This is your choice and if you think it's worth the risk of her finding a man who she assumes loves her the way she wants(will never happen btw men don't love like women do so it'd just be her getting tricked), you can keep dating her. If not just break things off or take a break to think about this. She sounds very young and inexperienced although she has had a few relationships it seems like she just ended up in them by coincidence, she also doesn't sound mentally stable and neither do you because of how she played with your mind, this isn't a healthy relationship and it seems like she has several issues she unfortunately needs to get sorted before she dates anyone.
No one but you can make this choice, anon. She deceived you even though she loves you, if she is bi no matter how strong she loves you she will also feel attracted to men. That's just how she is.

No. 275408

Jesus Christ. That's a lot for her to dump on you at once, and so suddenly. I'm so sorry she lied to you all this time. If this is the sort of thing she can keep from you for months and months, deny again and again, and project onto you, then imagine what other psychosis she could put you through. Anon please cut your losses and run. You might love each other but this is seriously fucked up. You were up front with her from the start about never wanting to be with a bisexual, and instead of returning the favour and telling you right away about her past, she chose to mess with your head for months and then dump this guilt-trip sob story on you to excuse herself. It's up to you if you can ever forgive her, but I would advise you to get out of this relationship ASAP. Do not ever settle for a liar.

No. 275410

She's 30, I'm 28.

Thank you for telling me this. I can't talk to anyone in my life about this situation except you nonas so I'm deeply appreciative of any advice at all.

I didn't know her to be a cruel or conniving person but rather someone who's very afraid of consequences and manipulates situations because of that. She had a pretty shitty early life with parents whose affection was extremely conditional which probably contributed to why she's so insecure. Still, I don't think the way she was okay with messing with me can be excused.

No. 275412

I understand you empathise with bisexual women because you are one yourself and therefore don't even belong in this thread but for the love of God please stop making excuses for OP's girlfriend. I don't care how insecure you all are about your attraction to men. There is absolutely no reason to defend her when OP explicitly said she did not want to be with a bisexual EVER and she flagrantly ignored and overstepped this boundary. She even had the audacity to accuse OP of her own crimes, only to "come clean" in the most whiny and self-flagellating manner possible. It's disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to defend her in the lesbian thread of all places. OP came here for support, not more gaslighting and guilt tripping. Kindly GTFO

No. 275416

Girl I told her multiple times to break up but I also felt that I shouldn't have influenced OP too much as this isn't my relationship and I don't really know either of them well enough. I only commented here because I'm bi too and therefore know how OP's girlfriend is likely feeling. It's just not smart to date a bi woman and not expect her to dump you for a man, it happened to me with a bi gf and that's why I also mentioned that possibility.

No. 275417

OP here, I'm sorry for inviting bi input here which probably caused too much friction but I do think you meant well. I just wanted support from anonymous women because I'm that desperate right now.

No. 275418

>I didn't know her to be a cruel or conniving person but rather someone who's very afraid of consequences and manipulates situations because of that.
My ex was like this as well, and she was absolute hell to live with. It got to a point where she was lying to me about every little thing and trying to pretend otherwise, even in situations where I wouldn't have been upset with her. Anyways, It's good that you have some insight into her behaviour so you can understand, to a certain extent, where she's coming from.
Still I agree that there's no excuse for her behaviour. It was not okay. She disregarded your very clear boundary and is likely to do it again. Have you responded to her letter yet? I know you said you were about to move in together; is it possible to halt these plans and stay where you are, or temporarily live with someone else?

This thread is for exclusively same sex attracted women. If OP wanted to hear from bisexuals then she would have gone to your musty little corner in the first place.

No. 275420

>musty little corner

Unfortunately I'm completely in love so I don't know how to break it off. I wanted to marry her and I know she's going to do this shit again and again until there's nothing left of me but I can see myself walking into that just like I walked into this thing. I saw this "twist" coming, I'm not blind. I didn't end it then, how do I end it now?

No. 275421

Also why are you so mad when I was just trying to understand OP's situation better? Op could've told me to go away if I made her uncomfortable but she didn't so I thought it was ok to give my input about her issues with a bi woman as a bi woman myself, I don't understand why you came with your retarded twitter "you all" butthurt reply when I was just trying to explain to her how her gf would always be bi no matter what but there are reasons why she could've had issues coming to terms with it?

Also you're fucking disgusting. A woman who got groomed isn't having a hard time accepting she's bi because of insecurity, it's because it reminds her of her past experiences. Yet it's true that still doesn't give her the right to deceive anon or emotionally dump her issues onto her like she's her therapist. Like honestly, calm down and check your words before you accuse a victim of grooming of being insecure of their sexuality just because you are.

No. 275425

It's so so difficult to leave the ones we love, even when they hurt us (maybe even especially so). It's terrible to see the life you wanted and were working towards suddenly fall apart like this… What helped me get away was realising it was all a sham from the start. It was never going to work. This dream was built on false pretences. Because she lied to you. She lied again and again, gleefully, without being forced, simply because it benefitted her. Nobody held her at gunpoint and forced her to say she's lesbian. She did that willingly, not caring about the consequences it would have for you or the relationship. Someone with such callous disregard for you does not deserve to be in your life.
Basically you just have to be brave. Just long enough to tell her it's over, make the arrangements to really end it (i.e. if she owes you a large amount of money or if you have contractual obligations together, etc. Otherwise imo it's really not worth it and you should just ghost/dump via text), and then cut contact forever. Make a list of reasons why you need to leave and reasons why you need to stay away. And if you can, get the support of friends and family who can back you up. You don't need to give them all the details, either, just let them know it's not going to work out and you need to lean on them for a bit. I believe in you. You can do what's right for you.

No. 275426

She's obviously still got her own issues from what she wrote to you and those issues will drain all of your energy as time goes on. Please don't let others use you like this emotionally, don't get into relationships with people who are clearly unstable. I don't know the extent of her lies but she obviously has unresolved trauma which will be much worse when it resurfaces. You should ideally take a break at least and think about it once you've cooled down a bit. You might love her but she tried to date men time and time again even though they ended up in failures, how can you be sure it won't happen again? Have you actually talked about this face to face?
Get help. A simple discourse on an imageboard shouldn't drive someone to be this upset. I've seen "lesbian" anons in lesbian threads discuss yaoi or other male media but they didn't get called out at all even though they were obviously not speaking about women. I guess it's ok to be attracted to men or anime boys long as you lie about being lesbian.

No. 275428

>I've seen "lesbian" anons in lesbian threads discuss yaoi or other male media but they didn't get called out at all even though they were obviously not speaking about women.
>they didn't get called out
Have we been reading the same threads? Anytime an anon in here mentions liking BL or being fujo/yume/etc. at least 3 people tear her to shreds.

No. 275429

She dated one man at 14 for a few years LDR and then tried to sext her close friend once. Besides that, it's been crushes on women and a couple of girlfriends. Just wanna make sure I don't misrepresent her side of it.

But yes, ultimately it's very hard to find a reason to trust her. I'm not sure I'd have not fallen for her if she had just told me she's bi, I've always had an inkling but I kept telling myself I'm a shitty paranoid asshole. What fucks me up is that she felt okay hiding behind this excuse of "protecting me" or "loving me too much" when she made a very conscious choice at the very start to manipulate me.

She also just admitted via text that she did indeed check a man out right in front of me. I knew she did and I called it out at the time, she denied it. Ugh.

No. 275431

And at least 3 replies come to defend that anon and tell everyone anime boys or actors are totally different than irl men. Also you still didn't answer why you thought it was ok to call a grooming victim insecure for having issues coming terms with her sexuality. I get that you hate bisexuals or something but you really shouldn't make assumptions about a woman who's clearly unwell just because some bi girl fucked you over. She did lie to anon and anon should dump her ass and cuss her out if that helps but that doesn't mean you, a total sttanger, get to freely mock a woman whos clearly been sexually abused. You're disgusting for that and I won't reply further. I sincerely hope you get better.

No. 275432

Anon I do understand that but I don't think that's the only issue at hand. Even if she were a lesbian, her untreated mental health struggles would be terrible for you in the long run. I understand you love her and that's really incredible after what you've been through but I advise you not to keep this going unless she gets help. It might just be a few sexts with men for her but it's clear those short relationships have deeply hurt her and made her unable to bond with people in a healthy way. She shouldn't have lied or felt the need to lie to you, we don't even know how many things she possibly lied about so that you'd love her. As I said above I won't reply anymore but I hope for the best for you whichever choice you make but please consider your own mental health and the toll this had on you, she's the reason you're this stressed and if you keep dating her this won't be the last time she drives you to this state.

No. 275433

She doesn't deserve your trust. The fact that you feel raped is reason enough to break it off.
I fail to see how calling out OP's gf's bad behaviour and saying no one should defend her or try to rationalise her actions equates to "mocking a woman whos clearly been sexually abused" but go off I guess. I also sincerely hope you get better, Nona, especially with your reading comprehension.

No. 275438

>she did indeed check a man out right in front of me. I knew she did and I called it out at the time, she denied it
Wtf, ew. I am socially retarded and even I can see this is a red flag abort abort situation. If she has zero issues to so blatantly disrespect you, your boundaries and your relationship while you are standing right there she is not over men like she claims to be. Tbh it looks more like she is using women to run away from sexual trauma but the moment she will meet a nigel that's "not like other men" it's game over for whatever little lesbian charade she's putting on.
She was never "loving you too much" if she was checking out men right in front of you, period

No. 275439

Thank you. I'm still reading her type text after text about how the guy was just model-looking and I was so much more interesting than him but she just glanced, etc etc. There are tons of beautiful women out there and I still don't check them out in front of her, it's really not hard. I wouldn't even be offended if she accidentally looked at women for a moment, to be honest. Just the lesbian charade while implying she's afraid I'm the bi one is what really got me. I get the psychology behind all that she's doing but holy shit, I just made a huge life decision to join my life with hers and she's still obfuscating. not sure I can get over the cowardice of it all.

I'll be actively pursuing more lesbian friends and slowly open myself up to someone else coming to my life at this point. I'll be too weak to let her go at least for a while but I don't respect her like I did before. I told her to just be the febfem that she clearly is. I won't out her to her friends or family but I'm definitely not going to see her the same ever again.

No. 275459

It's perfectly ok to not want yo date bisexuals - but did you specify you only want to date "gold stars"? I do think it's a bit unfair to label her as bisexual based on one relationship (a LD one too) when she was a literal teenager. Some people need to search around for themselves to be sure, and for homosexuals it's common to "try to be straight". Be her sexuality whatever, lesbian or bi, but you need to break up. In your next relationship you need to make it EXPLICITLY clear you do not want anyone who has had sexual contact with men, I don't think you can find peace otherwise. Even if you believe she is bi, she might actually think she is a lesbian 100%, and doesn not even think she "tricked" you. I personally think it is a bit unfair to only classify "gold stars" as lesbians, like I said not everyone finds themselves right away, but if that is your definition you HAVE to make it clear next time.

No. 275466

She did make it clear and her gf not only lied to her about her past but also actively checks out guys right in front of her, then denies doing so. How did you miss that? Why is everyone so quick to defend and make excuses for this 30 yr old woman who coerced OP into a sexual relationship with blatant lies?

No. 275467

OP here, It's crazy how bisexuals love to tell me they just don't think I made it clear when I've said I've made it clear many times in this thread as well as fucking IRL. Please stop telling lesbians our boundaries magically avert your consciousnesses. Nah, I made it explicitly clear to her and that is literally why she knew to withhold the truth about her sexuality. She knew what she was doing. We're both grown adults.

No. 275477

Sorry, I have not followed the drama before these posts today, I did not see OP saying she did specify she only wanted to be with women who have never been with men. I just meant she might count herself as a lesbian even if she was with a moid over a decade ago, just wanted to defend lesbians who find themselves later on. In any case, you are not for each other and should break up ASAP if you have done so already.

No. 275483

It was never about being a goldstar, please. It was that she didn't try sex as self harm or in a coercion setting. She, as an adult, continued to masturbate to porn of men jerking off and find their bodies attractive. That is not a late bloomer lesbian, that is a bihet. She loves women deeper, I don't doubt her. But she's just not a lesbian.

No. 275488

Oh alright I see, good point. What makes her a bihet rather than just bi though, isn't bihet a bisexual who has never dated the same sex?

No. 275491

File: 1657913563538.jpg (56.16 KB, 960x902, imdone.jpg)

Bihet as in a slur for bi, i'm being extra biphobic today sorry. I'm victimized on this particular day.

No. 275545

Question about "gold star lesbians"… Is that women who's never slept with men or women who's both never slept with OR dated men? Personally i've never slept with men or done anything sexual but i've dated them. I still identify as lesbian though. I've been in the closet. Not that it matters that much but kinda curious to hear some opinions on lesbians like myself.

No. 275557

Yeah gold star just means no sexytime with a man. But you have to get a Lesbo License before you get the goldstar stamp, and to get your Lesbo License you have to journey into the citadel of Lesbia and fist fight Ellen Degeneres and build an Ikea shelf and only then will the Citadel allow your entrance. I am not allowed to say what you have to do to get your Lesbo License , the League of Lesbos may find me, i mean i wish i could so you could prepare. Well one important part of the License application is tha

No. 275591

end it. could you imagine lying to or deceiving a partner? of course not, it's disgusting behavior, and only paints the future. once a liar, always a liar and they'll try to justify their shitty behavior now but they'll also just find new justifications in the future after you forgive them. one of my exes lied all the time, lied to my face, and it was so shitty to look her in the eyes and know she was choosing to deceive me for her own gain. being with someone like that wears down your trust of others, idk if i'll fully trust someone again. don't stay and let that happen to you, good luck with this

No. 275615

I got shitfaced and then went back to her place in the middle of the night. Yelled at her some, passed out at the foot of the bed i no longer feel good about lying in. Like a stupid ass cat. I don't feel like a human being, this process is too taxing for me.

No. 275618

You're traumatised. Your world has essentially been upended by her revealing her lies to you and tearing apart the vision you had for your future. Let yourself grieve. Give yourself time. And please get away from her, and stay away as much as possible. There's no salvaging this relationship after she essentially raped you for months… If you stay with her you won't be able to heal, much less move on. If you have anyone else in your life that you can depend on, now is the time to reach out. Please. For your own sake.

No. 275619

You can't be a lesbian if you dated men willingly. You're just bi. Swear to god half of you in this thread are bi and that's why seeing the bi women gets you so mad.

No. 275626

some women have to keep an act up while closeted.

No. 275627

No they don't. Unless they're in a very religious country and get forced to marry a man to ensure their safety, they're bi for dating a man. I don't understand why you hate the idea of being bi so much yet excuse dating or in some cases having sex with men under the umbrella of lesbianism. If a woman dated a man or fucked a man, she's bi, no way around it (I'm not counting literal sexual abuse or rape ofc).
If she gets excited to the visuals of a man imagined or real, she's bi. If she wanted to date a man for romantic reasons even once, she's bi. More than half of you are bi by definition, most of you have even dated or had sexual relations with men. That's not being closeted - it's being bi and only associating with men before you realize you also like women.

No. 275630

Agree. For me I draw the line at any sustained romantic relationship with a man, especially one that that includes kissing/touching/consensual physical intimacy. I claimed to ""like"" a boy in my first grade class probably because he looked like a girl kek just because I thought I was supposed to, but in the end barely interacted w him. Since then it was just moids hitting on me with zero success. The longest relationship I ever had with a guy was at 15 or 16, talking online for a few hours before ghosting because something felt wrong. All this interspersed with crushing on and dating other females, and my "boyfriends" were all FTM troons. I'm not saying it's easy to unlearn female socialisation, and it sucks to grow up in a world where your self worth correlates with male attention, but how hard is it to stay away from men? How do you ignore that awful feeling, ranging from an uncomfortable "oh no I simply cannot do this" to the red alarm screaming ABORT ABORT ESCAPE? …Unless you don't actually have it. If you're actually repulsed by men then you're not going to seek out, much less stay in relationships with them.

No. 275631

nobody is making them date people. there are plenty of straight women who have never landed any dates. that excuse makes no sense to me, its not like its an arranged marriage.

No. 275632

show some self respect. is this your first breakup? hard to believe you'd be so invested in a months-long relationship in your late 20s. you were warned before, you're being warned again now, and you are doomed to failure if you don't nip this now sternly and clearly. there is always someone else out there for you, and surely someone that wouldn't violate your trust and lie to you

No. 275634

This is too much. Just END IT.

No. 275636

Sone women have to search around to be sure. Maybe they dated or even had sex with a man, even several, and only later realized they do not even like it. Many have only realized later not everyone is in love with their female friends and just feels obligated to date a moid because of muh society.

No. 275638

For me the reason I dated men was I didnt realize how I felt and thought I was straight but i'm not, and because I kind of wanted to be I guess. Im already a weirdo so I didnt want another label on myself. Not sure I can count as bi since I have tried before but I cant have a relationship with a man thats how disgusted I amn. Most men I dated I never even kissed I kind of just kept seeing them to see if my feelings would change but it just fizzled out to nothing. Ive tried using tinder to date women for years on and off to no avail but lately its going pretty well actually so I hope I can get a date soon. I know im attracted to women only and with men its kind of like a deep friendship that lacks attraction. I guess if that still means im bi its fine but I have started to see myself more as lesbian since its called a sexuality and mine doesnt lean towards men what so ever beyond friendship.

No. 275644

so today i went to pride with some friends and it got completely rained out. my friends were visiting from another city so i took them back to my apartment (it’s a tiny one room studio and only has a bed and no couch) and they took showers and napped in my bed whilst their clothes were drying. my girlfriend was visiting family so she wasn’t home and when i told her about what happened she assumed i let my friends sleep in the bed in their dirty wet clothes from the day and she only calmed down when i explained to her that i am a good host and a sane person so i obviously let them shower and borrow pajamas before letting them lay on our bed.

i am a nice person but my girlfriend thought i was a total doormat and would just let them do that. i am shocked that she would think of me or my friends that way. even when they were clean and dry they asked if it would be okay to lay down in the bed before doing so

maybe i am too nice usually. this has got me questioning everything. i just hate that my girlfriend assumes i am a useless incompetent person or that my friends are rude

No. 275647

question: why are gay men who have been in decades long marriages with women and fathered children still considered gay but women who have had even non sexual relationships with moids are bihet

No. 275653

Because some anons aren't in cultural bubbles or have the types of people pleasing personalities that cause some gay people to stay hidden, so they take it out on those who did. Sex as self harm is possible, so is using someone for social capital which is cruel to the het person being strung along but it happens.

No. 275657

You're a lesbian, other anons are coping bis. It's ok to be bi but because they have such selfhate they'll always hold onto an alien identity and pretend to be lesbians while talking about the three men they fucked and the ten they dated.
If they weren't forced to marry they're also bi, retard. You're just bi if you fucked a guy. Real gay men and women don't fuck or fall in love with opposite sex. Stip thinking being bi is evil and embrace yourself.

No. 275658

Yeah some women are like that. They're bi women. You seriously can't pretend like lesbian women fuck several men willingly "just to be sure", right?..

No. 275663

You do realize homosexuality has not been the biggest hoot for a very long time, and outside of recent western world it still is not? And even in many western places with religious/conservative communities it is still very frowned upon? How is it so hard to think someone could try to force themselves to be straight? Even if no outside coercion is not present, people would still want to avoid the shunning of their communities (or even milder reasons).

No. 275669

i'd feel deep disgust in myself for using a het person like that, can't imagine it. can't justify this shit in matters of love. might be ok if its an agreed-upon beard situation

No. 275683

Bitch you're fucking bi if you fucked multiple men. What's wrong with you?
In most of those weird relationships, the bi person does enjoy being with their partner sexually but also fucks samesex people on the side, not that different than a straight person cheating. There are exceptions where lesbian women or gay men could actually be forced to marry but that pretty much only happens in very conservative Muslim countries, none of the anons arguing are like that.

No. 275687

So here is the thing, nobody said someone who enjoys sex with the opposite sex is gay. What I was describing was accepting rape on purpose, even though it feels like rape and not sex. Yes there are people who are so broken down by life that they allow themselves to be raped while keeping the guise of being straight. It's not common in the west obviously but it is elsewhere.

No. 275696

are you describing a man keeping a lesbian woman captive and raping her despite knowing she's gay? sounds like some taliban shit

No. 275698

If you accept it it's not rape. I was actually raped and you fucking men and then claiming you're a lesbian so that's totally rape even if you seeked it out makes me ill.
She's crazy.

No. 275707

>Bitch you're fucking bi if you fucked multiple men. What's wrong with you?
This was about how some homosexuals might marry the opposite sex or try relationships like that, not people who genuinely enjoy straight sex but are totes gay

No. 275709

>willingly marry or date the opposite sex

No. 275717

Such a girlboss, I'm so glad you have a family that doesn't threaten to abandon you. Not everyone has the same life as you Becky.

No. 275719

i think there's room for nuance here, lesbians can bloom late. but having heterosexual sex because you can't or won't come out of the closet isn't rape and is disrespectful to real victims. at best it's self harm

No. 275724

This is the most idiotic take I have ever read. Don't compare consensual sex with rape. Even if you're saying it was coerced sex you need to make that specification. Some of us on here have been through "corrective" rape which is not the same as a lesbian seeking out a male sex partner to see if they might be straight/bi because of comphet.

No. 275725

I said it feels like it. As in, something that is wrong and mechanical and violating. Idk who said it's literal rape, not me thpugh.

No. 275731

as long as you're aware of the huge diff between the two nonnie it's good. rape needs an aggressor and explicit violation of non-consent. consenting to heterosexual sex is just self harm.
this example is actual rape, a flagrant violation of blinders nonnie's non-consent and no different than if a moid removed a condom mid sex when protection was agreed to.

No. 275735

So funny how you fuck men without a shame but cry when someone tells you that's not how lesbians are. You know you're bi and that's why you get so triggered at the mention of bi women.
If you really dated simply because your family pressured you, you surely wouldn't have done anything sexual with a man. Also it's so weird how you willingly fuck men and then accuse call it rape, you're literally disrespecting women who actually got raped just because you can't admit you like dick and seek it out. You can't willingly sleep with someone and call it rape be you're insecure of your attraction to men.

No. 275736

Nta, but you're not saying what anon's girlfriend did (telling her she's lesbian when she might be bi) is rape right? I don't keep up with this thread, but I really hope I'm misunderstanding this kek

No. 275737

Comparing something you consented to to rape just because you can't admit you seek out cocks is literally so disrespectful to actual victims. No matter how hard you try, you can't fool anyone into thinking it's rape when you serially date and fuck men.

No. 275739

Anything is rape when it's convenient for these women. That anons gf fucked men without consent(groomed at 14) but she's supposed to be a bi rapist but other anons whoring around with multiple men are valid lesbians and the men they fucked were obviously at fault. They're calling anyone rapist like it's a light word. It not.

No. 275741

anon specifically told her gf that she didn't want a sexual relationship with a bisexual, and her gf strung her along claiming to be lesbian because she was afraid of losing anon. whatever anon's reasons are, she didn't consent to having sex with a bisexual and explicitly told her gf this. i doubt cops or a court would care of the minutia here and would find no wrong-doing but as far as anon's non-consent is concerned its rape. at the very least its more rape-adjacent than a lesbian having consensual heterosexual sex

No. 275744

>at the very least its more rape-adjacent than a lesbian having consensual heterosexual sex
No, not really. I'm not sure if anyone here has a complete grasp on the word rape.

No. 275745

If the gf is bisexual by your standards so are you because you also fucked men, though you weren't a teenager who got groomed so you don't have any excuses.

No. 275746

How can a lesbian have consensual hetero sex? It'd make her bi. A lot of anons itt are coping bi women and I really do believe that's why they got so mad at bi women who are out. They'll go on about fucking multiple men to self harm then turn around and call bi women biwhores. It's all projection.

No. 275749

this is a mixup, I never said lesbians have sex with men lol. anon's gf masturbates to men in porn and checks them out infront of anon

No. 275750

Having sex with men is a more reliable source than looking at men irl. You literally fuck men tok and by that logic you're also a rapist to your gfs - and to the men you fuck because you didn't disclose you're a "lesbian"(you're not).

No. 275751

why do husbando fag lesbians turn me off so much. why are you as a gay woman so invested in men whether its fictional or real life!

No. 275752

They're not lesbians if they're attracted to men, retard. That's why they annoy you so much.

No. 275755

>Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win!

No. 275759

That's what it is? Damn all this time I just thought bihet was an abbreviated way to say "bisexuals and heterosexuals."

No. 275787

You are talking to multiple anons, I never said anything about rape. I just want to defend late bloomers, and I would not call their struggle ""whoring around"". Again, no one was talking about calling yourself a lesbian and THEN fucking men. Are you aware you also need to be a female to be a lesbian? Your word choices are quite scrotey.

No. 275791

I'm convinced a lot of posts ITT and in the bi thread (not just this week but for ages) are troon and scrote bait made to create this kind of drama

No. 275796

NTA but the amount of people with clear chips on their shoulders is astounding, even for an imageboard considering we're meant to be mostly women. You never see these dweebs irl either, they're too bitter to have any gay friends. We're all sick of them lol

No. 275811

Has to be. "Divide and conquer" is as old as time.

No. 275814

Isn't bihet a bi person who only has hetero relations? Even if not, it's not a slur and anon id retarded for that.
Those aren't late bloomers oh my god. You can't fuck and date men for years and say you're a lesbian after you start dating women, why can't you accept that it's bi? Why do you anons say you did lots of shit with men but you're still lesbians(lmao no) but then assume that other anons gf was bi solely because she got groomed by a man once? Why can't you also understand you're bi like you understand she is?
Telling someone they're bi if they willingly date and have consensual sex with men isn't trolling. Anon literally said she consented to straight sex but it was like rape. She also slept with men and accused anons gf of raping her because she kept that fact hidden yet that's exactly what she did herself. The overuse of rape and excusing their attraction and sexual relations with men means they're coping.

No. 275824

Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

No. 275837

>Telling someone they're bi if they willingly date and have consensual sex with men isn't trolling.
The trolling is the constant, daily, obsessive shit-flinging you engage in, not the topic itself. Half the posts in this thread are infighting. You aren't "winning" or sticking up for yourself or whatever it is you think you're doing, you're giving trolls exactly what they want and destroying the threads.
Yep the early threads were pretty cozy. Less active but at least the posts were usually on-topic and not retarded. Some trannies noticed how effective the bi vs les discourse is at shutting down the thread and now here we are.

No. 275864

Do you think we could have two threads or something? The regular lesbian general, and then the female sexuality infighting general.

No. 275876

>female sexuality infighting general.
kek. Honestly they should just start taking it to the Questioning thread. This thread is not for discussion of males and attraction toward males, and that includes 24/7 REEEEEfests about the exact definition of "attraction toward males". Nonnas gotta stop letting men and bihets live rent-free in their heads.

Anyway I'm gonna be the change I wanna see in the world and post something that's not about men.
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
We meet up to go out for lunch or something but the restaurant is closed so instead we get drive-thru and drive around and talk. We really hit it off and she tells me she's kinda happy our 'real' date fell through because she hates crowds and dealing with the public, I tell her I feel the same way and we bond over being hermits. The next time we meet up we just have a hermit date at my place. I cook for her and she meets my cat and loves him. We watch a movie and smoke a joint and make out a little but we don't go further yet because we've both had bad experiences in the past and wanna take it slow. She is funny and kind and doesn't have pronouns.

No. 275912

I think i know who you are but damn i want to date like that too ahh but napping on my favourite mountain together instead

No. 275936

File: 1658078118923.jpg (72.74 KB, 540x541, lezbuzz.jpg)

Anon from the last thread who couldn't tell if a hot woman with a buzzcut was gay or not: She's not. And ever since I mentioned an ex girlfriend off handedly she's been treating me oddly, like I'm incapable of controlling myself around hets and I'll maul her at any second.
Obviously women can dress and present themselves however they want but I wish there was still something to count on as an exclusively lesbian thing.

No. 275944

Gender nonconformity has always been our thing but it's probably good that hets are also loosening up I guess. Still I feel the same, feels like we're losing ways of finding each other in a sea of rainbows.

No. 275952

These days I just anyone GNC is a gender-haver. Fucking sad, but true. Before I was always so excited to see other possibly gay people.

No. 276165

I'm a gold star lesbian myself but I just don't understand what's the big deal about anon's girlfriend being bi. I get the need to be with someone who fully understands you because I'd naturally rather date another lesbian myself, but my current girlfriend is bisexual and it never seemed like that huge of a problem to me. Maybe I'm just missing something in this story but the strange puritanism and melodrama about anon forcing her girlfriend to admit that she's a dirty bisexual and not a real lesbian seems a tad unhinged to me.

Also the weird unempathetic attitude towards women who have to have opportunistic relations with men in order to survive or who were groomed when they were still figuring their sexuality out is some polilez bullshit, I mean baby lesbians are still susceptible to being abused and influenced because they're still women and women are often conditioned to seek for male validation at whatever cost. It's not like some innate lesbian spirit just possesses you and stops the moid in his tracks or magically sews your vagina shut when he's forcing himself on you, I actually see red whenever I see this idiotic "oh a man raped you? then you're bi sweetie" narrative repeated because being denied your true self is a part of the lesbian experience for many women even today. Not every lesbian has the privilege of developing in a nurturing environment where being homosexual is an option.

No. 276167

The most ironic thing is, the anon who said the bi girl raped OP for not telling op she's bi is probably bi herself. She said she slept with multiple men and it also was "rape"(used the exact same wording so it proves it's the same anon as before) because the men should've magically guessed she's a lesbian and totally not into it as she sucked them off. She also assumed the groomed girl was bi for getting groomed while admitting she willingly had sex with multiple men again and again. A lesbian could be groomed but a lesbian definitely wouldn't fuck multiple men willingly.
Op was lied to and should break up with her girlfriend but she wasn't raped. Neither was the bi girl in denial when she fucked men.

No. 276209

The fact that she admitted to going the the exs (?) house drunk to rampage took it to unhinged levels for me.

No. 276235

We were not broken up yet, I was just drunk and missed her. We talked a lot, cried a lot and yeah I did yall at her because she spent months telling me she thinks I'll turn out to be bi when she's the one who might be. I was in the right, so I said some really bad shit to her which she just took. I've since retracted what she didn't deserve to hear but some stuff she was absolutely so wrong on. In the end she never had anything with any male after that groomer and one night after being dumped be a woman where she tried to sext a male friend she knew liked her and hated it. I can't tell of shes kinsey 5 or just traumatized. I want to be there for her and see if we can make it work. She is not even a good liar, I secretly already noticed all the things she confessed to and saw this twist coming. I let it happen. The "gawking" at a guy in front of me is tough, but she wasn't staring and it wasn't a salacious look, I just saw that she noticed the man's above average looks. Is that me making excuses? Maybe!

She said she will never do this to a lesbian again but I couldn't convince her to explore and just figure her shit out. She said she hates the idea of herself interacting with a male and won't touch a dick. She has isolated instances of masturbating to lone men or men with other men but a het coupling seems like something she viscerally can't enjoy. Whether she is bi with trauma or a lesbian that got bad shit wired into her brain from years of grooming… idk. Does it matter? I deradicalized myself a bit on my fear of being left for a man. It has happened to me before with bi's and it'll hurt but I have a lot with her still.

No. 276251

Just break up, leave her alone. Nothing good will come of this. She will not be what you want, not ever.

No. 276254

>The "gawking" at a guy in front of me is tough, but she wasn't staring and it wasn't a salacious look, I just saw that she noticed the man's above average looks.
So she was just recognizing a man as an objectively attractive human being just like you did? Honestly anon I don't understand why you're making such a scene about your girlfriend being possibly bisexual because she was abused by men in the past or even if she legitimately is bi, who cares? It sounds more and more like she loved you and was concerned about your militant alignment against dating bisexuals which made her lie about being a full on lesbian just to not hurt your feelings. Agree with >>276251 , just break it up. You're not going to work out and you're going to resent her for being bi for all eternity.

No. 276256

lots of obvious red flags from both of you for this relationship… however were I in your shoes I would lean on close friends for advice… truthfully we do not know you or her

No. 276260

I did not find him attractive but I was relaying what she said of him after the fact. And it's not just me, she was just as opposed to dating a bi as me due to past experiences herself. I do know it's an extreme stance but it's not like I'm the only one of us who is afraid that we will be compared to men and lose. It's happened to us both before, ofc we both have issues around that.

Totally fair. I don't have a good support network these days, not a gay one anyway so anyone I consult will look at me like I'm insane and while my biphobia is intense, it's not for no reason. Just been hurt and don't want to explain why being gay is difficult to my het family and friends. I have one lesbian friend and she has been much more nuanced, kind in her advice.

the "was it rape" discourse was too much also, its in a noncon realm but its definitely not rape.

No. 276268

I still think it’s bait

No. 276281

They sound like 18-19 year old retards and they should both work on themselves and their issues before dating again. Anon blamed a groomed woman and attacked her iver her sexual abuse, her gf lied to her about her past of sexual abuse because she was scared she'd get mocked for it which turned out to be true.

No. 276282

Doubleposting, that might be true. There's a troll in bi thread too so it wouldn't be shocking to if she also came to this thread to hate on random bi women. It could even be the same tranny that made girls loving girls thread trolling these threads too.

No. 276283

Idk about the same one, unless it changes its typing style knowingly. The bi thread shit flinger however has same style as the one on here.

No. 276285

I actually came over here to write something like this because it bothered me. Sad that because people larp lesbians so much some online lesbians have this toxic purity thing going on. I get it but it does sound so incel like. Both of them sound like this is their second or third relationship and OP gets jealous of past relationships when neither knew each other existed. Hopefully both of them can get help if this isn't a troll.

Agree, there's been someone new and pretty aggressive on here in all the lgb type threads.

No. 276417

The infighting is insane lately. I don't want to take this conversation any further but why is every hypothetical late bloomer in this scenario some sort of succubus who sucked twenty cocks? The first anon said her bi gf had a single male LDR years ago. There are gay people who pressured themselves into a relationship or sex once and regretted it, not to mention standard pressure and coercion from male peers throughout life for lesbians. Idk why it has to be so black and white, shit's complicated.

No. 276419

the women in this thread are absolutely fucking mentally ill and paranoid

No. 276421

why even bother talking about bisexuals in this thread kek

No. 276423

it's like do they think that homophobia isn't an actual problem that affects people's behavior? or does it just happen when they find it suitable, like people believe social pressure can make a lesbian to go and fucking sterilize herself and cut her tits off just to be seen as heterosexual but that for some reason isn't a radical thing to do to your body because of homophobia but holding hands with a man would be absolutely impossible
and way too much >>275619

how can escorts go to dates with men they're not attracted to? how can prostitutes have sex with people they aren't attracted to? people always just do things they like? sexuality is either rape or uwu beautiful lovely thing every time with no complexity around it?

social pressure has absolutely no effect on anyone? why does bullying make people off themselves? why do women go and bleach their assholes?

like i get it you are paranoid and burnt up by all the nonsense about forcing dick and males at lesbians but some lesbian holding hands with a guy when she was 13 is not the reason for why that is happening like she's not about to make men rape you or some shit

No. 276424

gotta double post because i just can't believe how black and white, or sheltered or bubbled or whatever view you gotta have about life if you think dating without sex if some sort of deal breaker if someone's a lesbian or not, like if you don't live in a literal shithole country homophobia just doesn't pose such a huge problem that it would make a woman to go on a date with a man, while you have women literally cutting up their genitals, starving themselves to death, getting their faces practically replaced with someone else's face, doing all these fucked up things with and to their bodies because of different kind of social pressures but human sexuality is apparently something that never, ever could be affected by such thing enough for a woman or girl to try holding hands with a man kek??

No. 276434

Straight escorts who were mostly coerced into industry aren't the same as a bi girls with long histories of dating men who are pretending to be lesbian itt. So many bi women are pretending to be lesbians and then shaming bi women because they remind them of their fraudulent identity. This never happens irl so I'm tempted to believe the anons doing this are chronically online polilezzies who hate themselves for being attracted to men.

That anons gf was groomed which means her experience doesn't mean she's bi, though a lot of women itt admitted to dating and sleeping with men willingly. They're bi. There's no such thing as a latebloomer lesbian, you don't cut off your tits or start hormones, you don't fuck men because of lesbianism. Those surgeries are just stuff mentally ill women do regardless of sexuality.

No. 276441

File: 1658217451247.jpg (974.45 KB, 1536x2048, Tumblr_l_269967280522169.jpg)

When a woman's topless but wearing baggy jeans and a belt, it just looks great. One of my favorite looks. I find it kinda odd I don't see it much. Wearing lingerie doesn't do anything for my horniness for some reason. Maybe it looks better in person than in photos?
I wear mens jeans and a belt for my job, and wearing that while topless always makes me feel weird even if it's only like that for just a second while dressing.
It's something about being butch, not caring about what you wear, and the crotch musk from exercising. When I eat someone out (hopefully one day) I'm going to sniff real hard and hope she doesn't use extremely strong smelling soap.
In the photo she's not topless but I hope it helps paint the picture.

No. 276446

>crotch musk
Only males are this fucking disgusting.

No. 276454

Unless you're going down on her in the shower, your partner's vulva shouldn't ever taste like soap. you're only supposed to use unscented soaps near your vulva, because fragrances could cause an UTI or yeast infection. There's a middle ground between "perfumed" and "sweaty," it's called normal.

No. 276462

You're talking to some hentai-brained 4chan incel who has taken the "imagine the smell, bros" too be serious.

No. 276469

An anon expressed a sexual thought in the lesbian thread? Sacre bleu! Look I get it, this thread does get hit by moids but at some point you're gonna have to accept that some women just speak plainly about their sexual thoughts. We can't all be hand holding, hair braiding, polite cottagecore ladies. Go talk to lesbians offline, FFS. This moid paranoia is getting out of hand.

No. 276470

>women can't be gross!!!!
This site has provided more proof against this belief than any other site, not just from anons but from cows.

Every woman is not exactly like you.

No. 276471

Just polilez drivel, truly we are cursed with the most insecure bad actors.

No. 276477

you are severely mentally ill. you are either autistic or suffer from some sort of personality disorder to have such limited, black and way view on how humanity works

by the way, do you believe it is somehow more natural for straight women to date men they aren't attracted to? it is just some inherent part of their sexuality? how is it possible to coerce women into sex industry in first world countries where social security is a thing? why does prostitution exist in places like sweden lmao how can anyone be coerced there if they just can go to the wellfare office?

No. 276479

like all those detransitioned women who said that homophobia was big reason for them to go and try to be men so that they would be straight are just lying? thy just do it to fuck up lesbians's reputation or whatever you think is that they are doing?
it is just their mental illnesses fault that they stupidly let society's homophobia affect them that way, what happened to them absolutely has nothing to do with social pressure but lol if they just hadn't been mentally ill they wouldn't had homophobia affect them that way?? so in that case social pressure and homophobia aren't the actual problems that could make people mentally ill, being mentally ill is, homophobia just isn't some actual issue that can make people go bonkers it is just some lite oppression that makes you little sad sometimes

No. 276489

Yeah the strange would-be gatekeepers in this thread who keep repeating "you're all bi" probably walk around with a chip on their shoulders about some kinsey 1 bihet leading them on and dumping them for a man, so in their head everyone who wasn't born the most lesbianest lesbian who ever lesbianed and instead took a left turn in a homophobic society in an attempt to force herself to like men is a cock addict preying on them. I really don't understand how it's so hard for them to believe that not all lesbians had a name for their feelings growing up, seeing how lesbianism isn't treated as nothing more than either girls experiencing puppy love girlcrushes or just a big sexual performance for moids. Like you said, plenty of FTMs are self-hating lesbians who wanted to become straight men to escape either their internalized homophobia or the oppression around them. Women are generally told that they're not supposed to be happy in a relationship or enjoy sex because they should focus on sacrificing themselves for men. Sometimes it feels like the stars have to be aligned correctly in order to grow up as a healthy, balanced lesbian who isn't crushed by the weight of the world giving her the options of either looking for the magical dick to cure her or just stop being a woman altogether. It's one thing to call bullshit on someone claiming to be a lesbian after multiple balanced and happy heterosexual relationships with men but entirely another if she was groomed and/or abused during her formative years in her past or tried to force herself into fixing herself.

>homophobia just isn't some actual issue that can make people go bonkers it is just some lite oppression that makes you little sad sometimes

No. 276491

You are very young, aren't you?

No. 276492

File: 1658247703547.jpg (88.82 KB, 828x547, Tumblr_l_216425809412282.jpg)

Saw this and though of you guys

No. 276498

Astaghfirullah the lesboans are still arguing like gay retards

No. 276508

Oh my god shut the fuck up. Maybe you think the terminology is cringe but this is a goddamn lesbian thread. She can be horny for the smell of a woman's vulva if she wants, I feel the same and I think it's weird that you're so mad about it.
She wasn't even being gross imo just horny. But of course some of the instigators itt think that lesbian attraction is gross.

No. 276509

>I feel the same and I think it's weird that you're so mad about it.
NTAYRT but I've been around the block in my 31 years and I've found that quite a lot of women enjoy the natural "musk" of a woman. I had a girlfriend who would jump my bones after I came back dripping sweat after my morning run and quite a few flings that started out as sweaty encounters at a boxing gym or on the dancefloor of a gay club. My wife also loves to see me sweating working out or (preferably, in her words) doing manual labour at our house; she finds it wholesome and attractive and I feel exactly the same way when she's working on the house too. I think it's a natural urge, pheromones and all that shit I don't quite understand properly. If anons are equating natural musk to something disgusting only a moid could be into and talk about then they need to check themselves for internalised misogyny tbh. They also need to stop chimping out when dykes talk about sex. Maybe sapphic wlw tumblr would be more their speed, kek.

No. 276515

Yeah going to agree with other anons, this "crotch musk sniffing" is a moid tier paraphilia that reminds me of their obsession with female armpit hentai. There's a range between "polilez cottagecore handholding" and writing a random "huffing on a stinky vulva" fetish post in the middle of a conversation outside of the "female fantasies" thread. Women can be gross, sure, but I also have the right to be grossed out by them not being able to keep their kinks and stinks in their pants.

No. 276521

This is the first time a post reads like a 100% troonbian to me.

Women know not to use soap down there like that. Definitely. A woman wouldn't be worried about it smelling like soap down there.. Liking the smell of vag is fine honestly, but horny typing style combined with the fact he doesn't know women do not use soap in there is just the whole package.

No. 276523

I'm pretty sure anon was talking about feminine wash, which a lot of women still use, and not like a literal bar of soap.

No. 276524

Not using soap, especially a strongly smelling one as the post described, is like the thing #1 we learn about female hygiene either being told so or by experiencing skin irritation and infections first hand. You absolutely do not fuck with the PH levels of your vagina and instead let it clean itself out.

No. 276533

Late but for climbing anon, yes, it will fuck up your finger pads for a bit on climbing days, I use hand cream or hand salve and they're fine by the next day. If you go only once a week or so I can't see it being a major problem. I've been single since I started climbing though kek so take my words with a grain of salt.

No. 276554

Those too are not supposed to be used, you're not supposed to use anything there even water douching can cause problems. Is this an american thing? Just horrid

No. 276561

Ayrt, I agree lol. My wife also likes me when I'm grimy and covered in sweat from work, even though I personally think I look like a wet rat. Not a weird thing to be into, it's like distilled essence of the person you like.
I hope it is an american only phenomenon and that women in other countries aren't being sold watermelon hibiscus scented pussy wash because yeah, it's a thing. And tbh it's not like most women will recognize or even heed their vagina's warning signs when it's also common to wax and shave and that causes an insane amount of irritation as well, and not just to the mons pubis. I knew someone who used to douche with summer's eve. Ugh.

No. 276563

I know you're not supposed to use feminine wash anon. A lot of women do though, so I was just pointing out that that's probably what OP meant.

No. 276579

I want to stop touching myself I feel really shitty being in a relationship and doing this when she doesn’t do this .. I only do it once a week but it’s gotten to the point where I can’t orgasm having sex with her I have to vision other woman? It just makes me feel gross ..like some sort of scrote who’s cheating on their gf
I’m sorry if this is the wrong thread to post this I just thought maybe hopefully some other dykes could give me some advice?

No. 276602

We had a male with scentfetish constantly post about pussy smell on /ot/ so even if your not a male, he's the reason everyones will think you are.

No. 276604

Go to the bi thread. Of course all trannies are mentally ill, most ftm are in first world countries whereas those countries are the least homophobic, disproving you theory that homophobia directly causes people to transition.

No. 276614

great timing

No. 276665

A voice of reason, thank fuck. I feel the same, my gf and I go nuts for each other when there's a bit of sweat. Too much sweat that's been sitting festering would be too much for us but a bit of a funk? Hot. I don't need to explain that shit to polilezzes whose sexuality solely revolves around denying men and thinking about them kek.

>Women know not to use soap down there like that
This is so not true lol. I've had roommates in my 20s where they not only ued scented soaps but also got constant yeast infections that they felt were mysterious. Many women are not informed, especially in the US.

It sounds like masturbation isn't the reason why you're drifting apart. There is something else going on, you need to think a bit harder on this. Assume that the masturbation isn't the culprit and see where it gets you imo.

No. 276709

Vulva stank anon here. I didn't remember the soap infection issue in the post, and I was only thinking of "something that could cover the smell", but I've heard smelling agents cause a lot of problems anyway so thanks for the information. They're marketed only to women/girls where I live.

My post read like a moid post, but that's only because it was A) a virgin's sexual fantasy B) I have a a type of Autism. These things are often Male traits/only Males are known to have them, but they're not exclusive to them. If I referenced penetration or having a beard or what have you, then it would've been a moid post since women can't do that during sex. Even incessant moaning could be some nonna's favorite thing. Knowing the difference is good since we're all anons. Not only could litterally any anon be a moid, any could be a bot ran by a moid. Feel free to voice concerns, of course, if you see a moid post. I just wanted to throw in something else other than the Bisexual-or-not thread because I couldn't care less, people on this site can only gleam so much from some posts. It seems like that needs to be worked out offline.

Apologies, it was too much and should've been in the sexual fantasy thread.

No. 276714

nonny don't apologize. pussy musk smells amazing and I'm tired of pretending its not and I don't give a fuck how crass it is. Lesbians don't need to be shoved off in a sex thread so paranoid polilezies can talk about being single and wanting a gf without ~those demonic dyke thoughts corrupting them into being like moids~

No. 276721

Straight women complain about dick stench and stinky sperm all the time and it doesn't make them less straight, just because people find suddenly talking about your very specific fetish for "crotch musk" vulgar and out of place doesn't mean they're against "demonic dyke thoughts".

No. 276737

File: 1658347887517.jpeg (27.04 KB, 600x514, E3doDw1X0AgsQi7.jpeg)

>Revisits thread 3 days later to find bi infighting and pussy stink arguments

No. 276738

Those hets seem miserable. I'd never give oral to an appendage I think smells bad. Pussies smell and taste fantastic, yes even when they aren't freshly showered.

No. 276740

This was what I was thinking. Like I'm sure %1 straight women are into scent stuff but it's still uncomfortable when the %1 voices their niche fetish in a nonsexual thread. There are threads dedicated to fetishes and scent-anons can share their fetish there, I'm sure there'd be more likeminded anons.

No. 276773

Don't apologise, anon. You weren't overly sexual or crass and as a fellow autist I don't think it was your autism either. This is a thread relating to female sexuality so of course some of us mention sex. You're not some minority fetishist, pussy smells good! Some "lesbians" in this thread just live to clutch their pearls over something. Honestly I think it was very iconic of you to start WW3 in here and then bounce for a few days, kek. I would be like picrel here >>276737 if I was you.

No. 276790

>natural scent of a human vulva
>"niche fetish"
Muskhuffer anon was a bit blunt but all of you calling it a fetish post are seriously reaching. We're allowed to talk about sex in the lesbian thread. And if it really bothers you just ignore the post and move on jfc we're on like day 5 of the same infight, bi drama transitioned seamlessly into stank drama.

No. 276793

imagine being unable to worship your gf's pussy because you're afraid of fetishizing her skin secretions.

No. 276794

I'm not bothered by how a regular vagina smells because I don't even think about it, so it's not something I indulge in like it was the most sexiest thing to ever turn me on. To me that's literally on par with the terminally online 4chan users talking about licking armpits because of their meme pheromone fetish. To be so fixated on something specific and unconventional like that sounds suspicious as hell knowing we get troons hornyposting and fetishizing lesbianism all the time, why are anons so shocked that it would be interpreted as a male larping even if it was written by a woman? I swear a tranny could barge in and start talking about how hot eating shit is and some anons would just yass queen him and call others prudish polilezzies for telling them to take it to the sexual fantasy thread, then accuse others of infighting.

No. 276814

The problem with these threads is despite having some good discussions at times they're always going to be a top target for troon and moid bait because men simply can't cope with the knowledge that some women don't like penises

No. 276815

>comparing eating natural pussy to shit and armpit hentai
cottagecore: not even once

No. 276841

I love that cottagecore has become shorthand for clinical hypothetical woman loving kek

No. 276867

I can't believe these people actually exist. Armpit fetish on par with liking how pussy smells. It's like Dworkin herself is posting.

No. 276878

Seriously, polilezzies need to get out, make peace with their real sexuality and find their Nigels instead of polluting lesbian spaces

No. 276880

Tenderly making love to my wife while we both wear hazmat suits so we don't fetishise each others female bodies. All the while the ghost of Andrea Dworkin looks on and smiles in approval.

No. 276930

LMAO nonnie pls

No. 276955

How do you deal with the majority of women being man serving tranny loving fag hag handmaidens as someone whose sexuality predisposes you to wretch at that

No. 276956

Lol fuck off. If straight women don't like the taste or smell of the penises on the men they're attracted to, that has nothing to do with me. Listen to yourself, it's a niche fetish and comparable to eating shit to like the smell of pussy? You know, the place I put my face during sex? Am I allowed to like the taste or is that a gross male fetish too? Pathetic interloper, you'll never know the touch of a woman.
Sorry anon lol normally I'm so good at staying out of this shit but I really am starting to think half the posters itt are moids

No. 277004

Hopefully not too off topic since she is being mentioned, but idk anything about radfem stuff was Dworkin really a polilez? Did she write about cottage'lez' stuff?

No. 277028

She did call herself a lesbian while being in a relationship with a man, on top of being mad at lesbians when they didn’t want to let someone’s boyfriend into lesbian spaces. Also iirc she compared man-hating lesbians to nazis, iirc “they treat men like nazis treated jews” kek. I hope some anon who has read her books can tell you more, this is just what I’ve seen on tumblr. And yes, she has never had a same-sex relationship either but was writing similarly to Adrienne Rich aka “lesbianism is a political choice and it means centering women in your life (also dragging your nigel to lesbian bars btw)”. I think if you google “dworkin political lesbianism”, you will find a long tumblr post about it with her quotes included tdlr - radfems invented political lesbianism and yet dykes still get shocked when radfem spaces are infested with polilezes

No. 277029

She had a same-sex relationship with a woman named Joanne, and she also had a sexual relationship with her husband John, so she's Bisexual. Here's what she said at a lesbian rally about it:
"Second, being a lesbian means to me that there is an erotic passion and intimacy which comes of touch and taste, a wild, salty tenderness, a wet sweet sweat, our breasts, our mouths, our cunts, our intertangled hairs, our hands. I am speaking here of a sensual passion as deep and mysterious as the sea, as strong and still as the mountain, as insistent and changing as the wind."
full thing: http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/OurBloodII.html . Make of it what you will.
I believe she was sexually attracted to women but intertwined it with her feminism when she could, when they aren't the most compatible. Sexuality doesn't have moral limits like feminism does so they're bound to clash on principle. For example, Dworkin may support a lesbian couple at first but won't when one of the women is revealed to be abusive.

No. 277045

gonna ignore the infighting and come here and complain that i cant find a gf bc apps are fucking abysmal. wtf do i do

No. 277060

Get out there in the real world and do stuff! Volunteer for a charity, join hobby groups, play sports, go to concerts, go to a pub quiz, etc etc etc. It's a cliché thing to say but love really does strike when you least expect it.

No. 277089

I saw a really cool butch looking security guard woman, ohh I fell in love in seconds

No. 277097

Same. I just want a cute gnc lesbian gf, yet all the ones I find on apps that are my type physically are either fuckboys, polygamous people, bihets, "ethically non-monogamous", or straight up insane. I need to stop being so into gnc women with shaved heads and tattoos, but I don't know how to do that

No. 277115

I find that some "chapstick" looking women are often interested in GNC styling but aren't confident enough to try or may just not possess the aesthetic skills to even construct a look. Not saying you should get with someone with the intent to change them but sometimes you do run into unexpected gems, they just need a little reassurance. For instance I know a woman who dressed super low key but not really GNC. Turns out she'd been told she's boyish and plain all her life so she never had the courage to try the styles she had interest in. She knew that people approve when she's dolled up but hated doing it. I helped her come out of her shell a bit and she's now a lot happier with her expression as a GNC woman.

I do think it's best to open yourself up to appreciating different people in general. What matters to you the most? Life goals need to add up, politics, looks, sense of humor, hobbies, family situation, etc etc etc. There are so many parameters and I think fashion has got to be one of the lowest things on that long list of things that need to align.

No. 277129

I met my gf's mom for the second time at dinner last night and as we were heading out she went to hug me but accidentally touched my tit and then profusely apologized for touching my tit lmao. I barely noticed it, not even sure she actually did touch my tit but my gf was mortified. She thinks her mom should have just not said anything, but I think you gotta immediately point it out and look as apologetic as possible. Otherwise who knows what the other person will think… What do you think nonas?

No. 277189

You're definitely right about a lot of us needing a hype woman. I've been butch my whole life but held on to my shoulder length hair as my last bastion of femininity. I'm tall and muscular and regularly get read as male so I was a retard and kept a haircut I didn't like, thinking it would soften my edge a lil bit. Well that all went out the window when the big C came to town. I had a large part of a brain tumour removed and then radio and chemo and ended up having to shave my head. Thing is though, when I looked in the mirror I actually liked what I saw. In the midst of all that horrible, life threatening shit I actually felt a lil surge of confidence from seeing myself rock a buzzcut. As my hair started to grow back post treatment I thought "oh well, back to long-ish hair and business as usual" but my wife used to be a barber in a kweerio salon and specialised in giving lesbian haircuts so she convinced me to let her cut my hair when it grew out a bit and holy shit, I loved it! I felt handsome as fuck! My wife loved it too and constantly reminded me that she did and although I was nervous about looking even more butch she really helped me to prioritise my own feelings. I also got more into suits thanks to my wife and I generally care a lot less about how straight people perceive me now. Sometimes us GNC dykes just need buttering up and reminding that we only have one life and should spend it dressed how we want. Many gfs and flings have helped me along the way with this and I love every single one for helping me to present how I want.


I'd apologise profusely if I did that too. It's completely normal to, IMO. I can see where your gf is coming from as some women really are like "oh fuck, I bumped into this dyke, I better tell her we won't be having sex because you know what those lesbians are like!" but she's probably just on high alert to be polite with it only being the second meeting. It's no biggie, IMO.

No. 277216

Ah I know how you feel, that masc confidence. I overcompensated when struggling to come to terms with myself with hyperfemininity. It felt so uncomfortable. Didn’t expect that dressing masculine would give me so much more confidence, that I would feel like myself again.
The thing is I used to make fun of butch looking women because my family did it too. Not harassment, obviously, but like ‘haha she looks so gay’ at masc women on tv, honestly I just wanted to fit in, throw them off my trail. Actually, I agreed with them ‘yeah lesbians have issues and probably don’t exist’. Idk if it’s
bc i was with my slavic family, they just say what they think, politically incorrect, often homophobic, but it makes me extra insecure now. I do want their approval- especially from other women. I feel most comfortable and myself looking masc, but i don’t want to look like a butt of the joke dyke, or be excluded from womanhood. I feel scared to look too dykish in front of them. I knew an eastern european lesbian who was totally rejected by her mother. The women especially will be judgemental. Just realised i accidentally bloggerinoed again, sorry guys

No. 277335

Idk if this is the thread but please nonnies what are the tips for giving pleasure to a woman? I'm a ragging repressed virgin and I never dared to be sexual in my teens. I barely know what i want (I discovered that
my nipples are erogenous a few weeks ago. mind you i'm 20) much less what someone else would want. My worst nightmare is to find the butch of my dreams only to disappoint her because i know nothing about sex and pleasure. Sage because this is fucking embarrassing i want to die.

No. 277339

There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm sure a few other nonnas in this thread haven't been with a woman yet or are virgins. It's good that you care about your future partner's pleasure! Not sure if I'm the best person to give advice since I'm only a year older than you and have only had sex with one person so far in my life, but I think your first obstacle is finding out what YOU yourself enjoy and exploring your body a bit more. Not every woman is the same of course but we generally like the same things, and I think familiarizing yourself with what brings you pleasure is a good place to start. How do you like to stimulate your nipples, clit, how do you feel about penetration and do you like it a certain way, etc.
Don't just touch your genitals or nipples when you masturbate, try rubbing or lightly scratching other parts of your body. I remember not enjoying receiving from my ex since she put minimal effort into touching parts of my body that weren't my pussy- it felt detached, if that makes sense?
Generally if you enjoy it she'll enjoy it too. Pay attention to her noises and reactions, and don't be afraid to get handsy or put your mouth places- I know almost every woman out there, me included, has a huge weakness for neck kisses/biting, or any kind of mouth action on sensitive areas- they don't even have to be erogenous. My ex liked it when I lightly bit her inner thighs.
Believe me I've been in your shoes and it sucks. Sex can be intimidating, ffs I'm still slightly intimidated at the idea of doing it with someone else in the future, but the important thing is that you do it with someone you're comfortable with and can laugh about it with. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to, just don't be a pillow princess kek. This is kinda general so if you want anything specific feel free to ask.
Good luck Nonna, hope you find the butch of your dreams to fingerbang!

No. 277534

File: 1658618459100.jpg (1.29 MB, 1230x1875, 1649377960346.jpg)

From reading this thread I have to say,
That honestly at this point I am thoroughly convinced that all of this lesbian "purity" nonsense that is dividing us is the work of moids/trannies posing as lesbians.
I honestly have no problems with late bloomers. I don't care when they came out/why it took them so long to figure themselves out and I'm certainly not going to interrogate them on their past and if they were involved with men and shit.
From my experience once late bloomers figure their shit out they do not go back to men. It's not my place to accuse them of being bisexual, as if that's a bad thing or deal breaker.
The wlw dating pool is small enough as it is. This discourse is so prevalent online but irl most wlw don't hyperfocus on this shit so much.
I think trannies are seething. This is a seething tranny campaign to divide us.
Late bloomers, I love y'all and I'm glad you're here.

No. 277539

thank u nona for taking one for the team (the team being all the repressed virgins who are too afraid to ask)

No. 277596

Do any of you ever have problem with other lesbians/bisexuals thinking you're supposed to be sexually available all the time just for being a lesbian, especially a butch? Like because the dating pool is so small and shallow everyone needs to compensate for it and just be willing to be a hypersexual sex demon willingly putting up with straight out sexual harassment? I'm pretty much traumatized by treatment like this, as in people expecting me to just tolerate groping, catcalling and being told how fuckable I am and instead I should just be flattered by it when in reality it feels degrading. I'm a very private person and I hate how my sex drive is absolutely ruined by being sexualized in public so much ever since my teens. Yes I know I'm attractive, but what the hell gives one the right to yell out loud in front of everyone how hard they would love to be fucked by me as if I was some man lite doing all the work?

And unsurprisingly most of the time it's just for show, almost all the time it's just those types who wouldn't touch a vagina ever and lie there like a dead fish while the "man" performs for them.

No. 277613

>oh you think differently from me? you're a moid/tranny
>refusal to understand why some lesbians prefer to date their own kind
>unironic use of "wlw"

Opinion discarded.

Honestly the majority of bi women and unfortunately some lesbians view us butches as bottom of the barrel options. They're attracted to us, sure, but we're masculine therefore automatically toxic and should feel honoured that we're even considered an option by them. When they come down from their high horse and decide to throw us filthy peasants some pussy they expect us to be at their beck and call and put up with shitty behaviour including sexual harassment and a medieval attitude on gender non-conformity. I've worked as a bouncer for gay bars in the past and have been groped and talked dirty to which is seen as fine but the moment I lay down boundaries or shake off their touch I'm being aggressive or "not taking a joke". Now imagine a butch woman openly groping a feminine woman, completely different reaction. I still have to pinch myself when I remember I'm married. Dating as a lesbian is rough enough, dating as a butch is hell. I'm so thankful to have a GNC wife who gets it because I've played the man lite, dildo on legs role for far too fucking long. I really wish I could go back and tell baby dyke me to be more confident and not allow myself to be treated like a freak who should accept shitty women because as rare as they are, there are women out there who truly love us and don't see us as mini moids. I recommend seeing if there are any gatherings for GNC women/butches near you. I've met a lot of good friends at these gatherings and even straight GNC women get the same harassment sometimes because they're often assumed to be gay. It's very refreshing to be surrounded by GNC women when sometimes it feels like we all live under rock far, far away from each other.

No. 277635

I'm starting to worry about the monkeypox thing. They made it sound like an STD (it is not) and overrepresented infections in gay men and it's just going to cover more and more of us in the community. I saw news on some kids being infected and people are already attaching the "groomer" thing to the virus. Hellworld. My gf and I already deal with public harassment regularly, don't want to know what kind 80s bullshit is in store for us now nonas…

No. 277640

Thank you nonny, reading your reply was cathartic. I've always been treated with respect by other butches and they always respect my boundaries, they're always such gentlewomen. It's too bad so many of them have trooned out and the rest are ridiculously hard to find so I'm left with those egoistical women who, as you put it, expect us filthy peasants to worship the ground they walk on for being allowed to be seen attractive by them, in worst cases to be dumped for a man when the time comes. I've been pigeonholed into being the dominant male lite who serves them like a sex slave and loves being sexually harassed in return, only because I'm masculine presenting. Despite me being quite mundane with my sexual behavior like, you know, regular loving sex with mutual contribution, not me ravaging her in some cringe BDSM way.

No. 277755

I think I am quite okay at eating pussy (at least the last woman I was with I made cum several times in a row every time lol). My tips are 1. ask what she likes and wants (duh) 2. when you are eating her out/fingering her etc, listen to the sounds she makes. Even if someone is not very verbal or doesn't moan a lot, you can still hear if they actually enjoy something by their breathing and body language.

Also,just a personal preference, but my favourite position/way to have lesbian sex is tribbing (?) with a vibrator. Like hugging close legs spread apart with a vibrator between your vaginas. It's so easy, and you don't necessarily even need to take your clothes off lmao.

No. 277760

I honestly wouldn't mind getting sexual attention from women, kinda dried up for me when dating apps became big and I'm more on the hypersexual side probably. I hate when people go "step on me" though, I don't want to step on anyone. Other than that I still get treated like a man, all initiative and asking out has to come from me, having to walk the tightrope of toxic masculinity accusations while also being expected to act man lite. I would like to feel (sexually) desired, but not in a weird violent or man lite way. Instead of always having to message first, do the asking out, being expected to be able to mindread whether someone is interested irl and getting shit for not doing anything. Why can't people just normally tell me they're interested without resorting to "step on me" or expecting mindreading?

No. 277766

>Why can't people just normally tell me they're interested without resorting to "step on me" or expecting mindreading?
Yes! I've had so many women just get mad at me and later gloat how I missed my chance, all because I had no idea she was interested in me and expected me to take the initiative because apparently being masculine makes me a man, so I should also pick up on weird clues like "step on me" that sound like a pornsick bihet oneliners. I don't want to risk getting my heart broken and be ridiculed for being a predatory lesbian for the sin of showing interest in a woman unless I'm sure.

>all initiative and asking out has to come from me, having to walk the tightrope of toxic masculinity accusations while also being expected to act man lite.

Another thing that I hate. Goddamn, I'm a woman and a victim of female socialization too, putting on a pair of pants doesn't magically give me the freedom, privilege and the delusional confidence of a moid.

No. 277784

There should be subsets and sexualities within lesbianism, like bi lesbian, straight lesbian, gay lesbian
>straight lesbian: you’re masc/fem and like the opposite presentation eg fem4masc or masc4fem
>gay lesbian: you’re fem4fem or masc4masc
>bi lesbian: however you present yourself, you like both ends of the scale, eg both mascs and fems
I think this makes sense anyway

No. 277792

I'd be a bi lesbian then, but I still get called a faggot butch kek

No. 277794

Is that a thing? Is it taboo to be butch4butch?

No. 277796

File: 1658746835954.gif (27.12 KB, 200x200, lego.gif)

Holy shit nonas I have a date tomorrow and I'm nervous as fuck.
She's extremely cute, we met at a party last week where we kissed and talked about music and the x-files. I'm very inexperienced when it comes to dating and sex and I have no idea how I'm expected to act and what I should do. Terrified of coming across as awkward or boring, especially since I was pretty drunk at that party which took care of my nerves at the time. She seemed really confident and fun and she might expect me to be more like that instead of the anxious bumbling idiot I really am.

No. 277799

Acknowledge that you're a little nervous when you see her, seems counterproductive but it will make things far less awkward than trying to fake confidence (which could actually even increase your stress). She already likes you! So it's going to be all fine, have fun♥

No. 277801

Immediately no.There is no such thing as a “bi lesbian” and will never be

No. 277804

Go back to your cave with your stone age takes on female homosexuality, retard.

No. 277809

oh look, someone trying to make butch/fem presentation Heterosexuality Lite again
literally shut the fuck up.

No. 277812

File: 1658756518377.png (27.91 KB, 861x186, nr5spx6lHE1rf6ii1_1280.png)

Oh definitely. I read a study before that said about 1/4 butches are also attracted to other butches, but it's like being double gay. Lots of stigma around it, including in the community. From the faggot butch essay
>“Write about how, as soon as butches were no longer the scourge of dykedom for aping masculinity, or whatever that baloney was, it became faggot butches who were scorned and derided. Everyone understands butch/femme because it seems familiar, like Ozzie and Harriet but with better hair and more pussy. Everyone understands femme on femme, even though you don’t see it often because it doesn’t read queer, you know, but it’s in the first images of ‘lesbian love’ most of us see, in porn or on television. Two long haired pretty girls smooching in a daring fashion wherever they happen to be. No one’s threatened by that, not the dykes, not the men, nobody, but if I want to kiss my butch anywhere, I’d be damned sure of my audience, or better yet, better be sure we don’t have one.
Or when Lea Delaria said she's not a "fag" when asked whether she was attracted to Ruby Rose, picrel.

No. 277813

It's about women liking vagina and other biological characteristics not about how women dress, the fuck?

No. 277820

that is insane. how could she imply that ruby rose of all people is "not a real woman". the self hating shackles are extremely sad.

No. 277823

I think my friends are ignoring me whenever I say I'm a lesbian because they're still holding out hope that I get with a male friend who has liked me for about 8 years. Yes I've told him no, yes I've told my friends I'm not interested in men multiple times.
It's kinda tiring at this point, just this weird holding out hope that I'm somehow Bi and will eventually marry him and have his ugly babies.

No. 277824

Shit, I think you should ask them about it directly. As in, if you think they're actively trying to set you up with this guy, or if they're encouraging this guy to pursue you, etc., don't let them do that to you, especially when you've made your boundaries (and preferences) clear. Totally not cool.

No. 277826

If I were you I’d just end the whole friendship, you deserve better

No. 277851

You need to confront them and give an ultimatum. You can't keep going like this with people who want to coerce you into sex with a moid.

No. 277917

oh exactly. and feminine dudes who like feminine women should also be able to call themselves lesbians


No. 277929

File: 1658809909695.jpeg (360.32 KB, 828x1432, 147DDBBA-41E0-4711-B4A2-355C89…)

what are y’all’s thoughts on this tumblr post i found (1/4)

No. 277930

File: 1658809936342.jpeg (411.77 KB, 828x1434, CBC70964-55F0-4FC6-B154-912450…)

No. 277931

File: 1658810037761.jpeg (404.67 KB, 828x1439, A482C5E9-A5FC-4B8A-8565-D5C9A7…)

No. 277932

File: 1658810131321.jpeg (329.22 KB, 828x1220, BEE187EC-A4B5-4821-A6D5-3ED18F…)

No. 277933

Ditch them anon, they're on some pickmesha shit that will only bring you down. My sister had a similar thing happen to her where this creepy moid in our friend group wanted to date her so badly he would shake with nerves and started crying when she said no. Everyone was acting like my sister was a bitch for saying no and she should have just given him a try. We were all high schoolers then so I kind of get the stupidity but they're not friends if they consciously or unconsciously feel that that mans emotions and wants are more important than your own. Sorry you're dealing with that.

No. 277934

Can't you just sum it up can't really take the op seriously with "womyn" or older generations gospel when they seem to be dealing with their own societal trauma. Like that one post about where Lea whatever didn't like Ruby because she wasn't a faggot. They had their own issues with accepting themselves.

No. 277935

A polilez told me that it's just an outdated way of speaking about it. While actually reading up on the history of it, "born this way" or at least "stuck this way, it's not a choice" in some shape or form was already accepted by sexuologists and mentioned by lesbians in the early 20's. Working class lesbians in the 40's-60's never even thought of 'Choice vs born this way', nor did they call themseleves lesbian though. The polilez framework is truly an (upper) middleclass thing from the 70's. They reject "born this way", because sexuologists agree with that and a broken clock can't be right sometimes according to them. Also, what is the logic of coopting a sexual orientation, then complaining about the concept of attraction and then that it's not political enough. Just say political celibacy then?

No. 277936

i guess it can be summed up as
>we need to stop defining lesbian as an innate way of existing, but as an action
>plenty of self defined lesbians don’t consider themselves “born this way”
>focusing on lesbian as an identity is just the same as trans ppl and wanting their gender identity to be taken seriously

No. 277937

Ok I read it. It would be nice for you to write your own opinion too. I agree with other annon why do they have to coopt the word lesbian. Also bisexuals exist. But like several anons have said before why do we have to constantly navel gaze at the purity of lesbians/women. Gay men don't constantly question each others validity. I know why we do it I'm just kind of getting tired of it.

No. 277940

Also I want to note that lesbian feminist peers in France disagreed with the American ones for the insisting on the "choice" thing and shitting on "lifelongs". Among other disagreements like American polilez hating butches etc. While Dutch ones agreed with the Americans. So it's not even guaranteed that everywhere this was a common framework among middle class lesbians.
Yeah but by their logic two straight women living together as friends while calling themselves lesbian radfems are living a lesbian lifestyle. However a lesbian who isn't out as either a radfem or lesbian, isn't living a lesbian lifestyle. So if you're not already being cancelled irl for being a "Terf", you're not a real lesbian according to them. They have a problem with the idea of "lifelong", prior to coming out as both a lesbian and radfem, they think you shouldn't be considered a "real lesbian". So it's not like they're doing any less purity testing than we do nowadays, just in a weird way. If anything polilez are the ones advocating for self IDing as lesbians, when many are just straight politically celibate women.

No. 277946

These remind me of some of the weird tranny sperg text walls I've seen here lol. I support late bloomer lesbians but this is some fucking copium from a bisexual totally being a lesbian guys it's a choice.

No. 277961

This post is just a long way of saying "yes I'm a polilez, what about it" with the retarded assumption of lesbianism being just some magical sisterhood mindset, not a legitimate sexuality. Also the unironical use of the word "womyn" makes me cringe so much it makes this utterly unreadable and stinks of tryhard. Newspeak is always a terrible idea no matter which side of the fence you end up in.

No. 277963

I told everyone about my girlfriend and I have come out as gay in 2016.
Fast forward to now, I'm still out and about while my gf has still not come told her parents about me but has come out as gay. I don't like it in particular but thought about how everyone else sees it? My gf says that it's because her parents have prejudice about certain ethnicities…

No. 277969

She's been keeping you a secret for 6 years? Did I understand that right? Does she at least have plans to move out if she lives with them?

No. 277971

Piggybacking the discussion about telling your family, how would you feel if your partner didn't tell about you to her parents? My family is homophobic (like the "gays are disgusting pedo degenerates" type) and I haven't even come out to them myself ever so there's no way I could tell them about my girlfriend. I would be fine if my girlfriend kept me a secret in a similar situation but I know for a lot of people it's a dealbreaker and they don't want to live in secrecy. I would be hurt if the family was accepting of gays and their child's sexuality yet they still chose not to introduce me to them though.

No. 278000

I personally would refuse to stay with someone interested in keeping me a secret. I'm 28, did the work on facing my family and seeing which relatives are willing to understand and cut out the ones that don't. I would feel frustrated with a gf that doesn't have the mental fortitude to confront her family on things that matter. That tells me she's subservient to bigoted people and cares too much about the opinions of those that aren't even compassionate enough to love her the way she is. Hiding your gf because of any prejudice from your family is confirming that their sensibilities matter more than your dignity imo. Of course, if hate crimes are a possibility then going no contact and not coming out fully is also ok.

No. 278001

>lesbian land
i'm gonna lose it wtf am i reading kek

No. 278002

Are you too young to know about lesbian separatism?

No. 278006

Yes, you're correct. She hasn't told them about me to avoid conflict because I am not white. Well, atleast that's what she says.
She doesn't live with them anymore yet she hasn't told them. They do visit her often.

I wouldn't mind the first year if she didn't tell her family about us until she considers us a serious relationship.Anything after 1 full year I wouldn't like and begin to distrust.

Hate crimes are not a possibility in her case , but she is very controlled by them and often defends thier behavior saying they need time. I'm seriously considering ending this long relationship because not only does she not tell them about me and keep me hidden I have heard her family disrespect me and insult me on the phone since they believe I'm just a friend.

No. 278014

Ugh, that is extremely frustrating. Her family may or may not rely on her but at some point she needs to demand respect or leave. So do you, ostensibly. A long term girlfriend is family too. You need to come first. Or else wtf is the point of loving anyone? Her family can enjoy a cushy second place priority in her life, especially since they're so shitty she struggled to come out and can't date interracially.

No. 278019

I feel disgusting because of my sexualization of women. It makes me feel bad that I view women this way. Also it's hard to know if my feelings are normal because I have nobody who I can ask about this. Honestly I feel as predatory as a scrote.
Just today I was walking to a grocery store and saw this one woman riding a bike. She had the biggest, tightest ass I ever saw and wore super tight leggings. What's worse, her leggings were wet near her pussy, I guess it was sweat from riding a bike. I honestly had a near-death experience and forced myself to look away. I felt really guilty because I view other women as sex objects.

No. 278022

You should feel bad, stop objectifying random innocent women, wtf.

No. 278025

File: 1658851815105.jpg (317.69 KB, 864x810, pic unrelated.jpg)

>She had the biggest etc.
In principle, finding someone hot is not an act of violence and as long as you don't harass people (either by staring or verbally etc) it's not a big deal. If you also see women as full human beings with interesting inner worlds, you're fine. Sexual attraction towards only women as a woman is the core thing about being a lesbian, so of course you'll think someone's really hot on occasion. Noticing details is a very common thing for us anyway, most women can distill their attraction to fine points like
>the sliver of elbow skin you see between the sleeve and a watch
If you took a gander at the original female gaze thread. I'm not sure if /m/ ever recovered but the "revival" thread is utter ass because pornsick femcels colonized this whole website with their incessant husbandoposting across dozens of threads, on every single board, even in threads where it's entirely off-topic. Anyway, feeling guilty or ashamed is not going to help you or the poor, poor women you thought were cute. Just move on, don't make people uncomfortable but stop worrying so much. You are not a rapist.

Btw if you're a tranny or if a tranny is reading this, you should kys. It's only non-creepy coming from actual women because they're not violent XY defectives like you.

Ah yeah, internally thinking a woman is sexy is somehow an act so vile. Not like anon went and catcalled her. If she did gawk at her then it's rude and maybe creepy but surely just noticing her beauty isn't predatory.

No. 278028

Thinking she's attractive, sure. That anon didn't stop at that. "She's" describing that woman like she's a piece of meat. It's completely different to find someone attractive vs. objectifying them in your mind. That women was just going about her day, it's disgusting to think about her in that way. Even though she didn't act on it doesn't mean it's right.

No. 278031

I just don't understand how it should work really. Like, what a healthy perception of women should look like?

In that other post I meant to say that I saw a good-looking woman and was like "wow, what the hell". I honestly don't understand what other reaction should I have? Don't look at people at all on the streets? It's pretty hard to not notice people and even harder not to have a thought in your head like "whew, she is smoking hot". And, in the end, what can I say, I love ass and love yoga pants.

No. 278032

There is a 0,00001% chance that this isn't a male

No. 278033

This is going to start another retarded polilez fingerpointing infight but I'm going to agree with >>278028 . I almost had a gay heart attack when I saw a beautiful woman with the body of a greek goddess sunbathing the other day so I understand feeling guilty about experiencing physical attraction, but going on an anonymous board to first complain about feeling guilty of objectifying women and then going ahead to publicly describe a completely random woman you saw on the street like a piece of meat with her "biggest, tightest ass" and "wet pussy" in her "super tight leggings" to an audience of strangers sounds inappropriate as hell. That's locker room talk, it's would be weird to witness no matter what sexual orientation one has.

No. 278034

Girl, it's an anonymous image board, where else should I post this shit? PM it to my grandma on FB?
I'm not I swear. Although maybe watching porn made my brains dissolve a little so now I have a moid brain.

No. 278037

Seriously, anon boards are basically the one place to be unhinged. People who live online think it's gauche to be messy on here but when you have a life where you're a functional person, having this place to vent or journal is a blessing. I get the hypervigilance from nonas but who the fuck cares. We can't live under the shadow of some tranny boogeyman watching us. Can't give them that much power over you.

No. 278055

>pornsick femcels colonized this whole website with their incessant husbandoposting across dozens of threads, on every single board, even in threads where it's entirely off-topic
Exactly my thoughts too goddamn

No. 278057

Sure, but we have the right to tell you to fuck off after your weird porn novel you posted

No. 278059

How is that short post a porn novel?

I also freak out mentally a bit when I see hot women in tight excercise leggings because it's a wonderful sight but I don't want to be like a gross moid and stare.
But noticing hot women is not scrotey ffs.

No. 278070

I'm once again asking polilezzies to get out of the thread

No. 278099

How do you dress feminine in a way that appeals to women but not to men? Or at least in a way that still shows I'm gay? Should I just invest in a lot of double venus themed jewelry?

No. 278107

Having a good but unusual sense of style seems to tip people off on me. I have a frilled denim blouse with an embroidered cat parade on it that I think is a good example. Unique but not trendy or try-hard, you know?

No. 278114

What are you doing on a lesbian thread if you can’t even bear the thought of a woman fantasizing about another woman?

No. 278123

she wrote a handful of sentances that don't do anything beyond describing how her body looked and the state it was in. you're the one having fucking conniptions over a lesbian saying she appreciates a woman's ass and noticed her pussy was moist. go say some hail marys on nonas behalf so you don't die of a fucking stroke, but the rest of us lesbian sinners want to talk about how hot women are without having to be all hand-wringy and sapphic about it. stop shitting up the thread with your pearl clutching aids

No. 278129

this. male-attracted anons have no shame filling up multiple threads across the site with their sexual fantasies involving real and fictional men. but somehow the morality police come for lesbians. feminism is not a pre-requisite to lesbianism and respecting women is not a pre-requisite to lesbianism. sexuality is not equal to morality.

No. 278139

File: 1658901888868.jpg (71.84 KB, 736x920, 73cff8bfb7170554c6c0dd9a155afa…)

I've been into wearing more longer skirts and boots myself, I like the look of feminine clothes with an edge to it if that makes sense. I don't see too many normie girls dressing like that. Also what >>278107 said, having more flamboyant statement pieces in an outfit, I always assume girls wearing this are either gay or art students kek

No. 278144

Fantasizing is ok, but why tf do you need to describe is so creepily and post it here. It was straight out of a porn novel lmao.

No. 278155

Ok transbian

No. 278157

"Creepily"? Those are simply the kind of thought you have when, y'know… you're sexually attracted to someone, requirement to define your sexual orientation. Yet, you seem weirdly shocked at the thought of seeing other women in a sexual way.
Go listen to Girl in Red and clutch your pearls somewhere else, lesbians get enough shit for liking women already. We don't need weird cottagecore-chans trying to make anons feel bad for their normal, natural impulses.

Go find your Nigel.

No. 278163

I personally have history of being sexually harassed by both men and other women so I really don't appreciate people talking about women like they were objects to grade. I would feel extremely uncomfortable if someone was eyeing down my crotch and ass on the street and telling about it in detail on a public website, it would be an entirely different thing to say something more respectful and neutral like "I saw a beautiful woman with a great body cycling past me and I was immediately attracted to her" instead of describing the wet spot near my vagina and my fat ass like a horny scrote. Seriously this constant lewd thirstposting and the visceral autistic rage directed people not appreciative of it is curious as fuck and looks and sounds like an attempt at astroturfing. Just because lesbian sexuality is repressed it doesn't mean you have to go to the other extreme.

Are these cottagecore-chans in the room with us right now?

No. 278168

If you can't hornypost about women in a lesbian thread in /g/ where the fuck can you do it?
I love big butts and thighs and I cannot lie.

No. 278171

femme for femmes like me are the most oppressed beings in the land

No. 278176

File: 1658917693719.jpg (590.7 KB, 3404x3408, 1650528197288.jpg)

Cool story, unfortunately lesbians experiencing sexual attraction towards other women is still normal.
>visceral autistic rage
"Everyone who disagrees with my inane point is autistically mad!"
Anon, you are triggered by anons having sexual thoughts towards women. At this point I'm gonna take the bait and ask, have you ever had sex or a girlfriend? What would you say to her when you're in the mood? "Darling, you're looking scrumptious right now and I'm very much attracted to you"? Please.

No. 278180

I stg the moist pussy creep is the metatroon spamming the site rn

It's not about finding women sexually attractive (…that's like the basis of lesbianism), but the way you described the event and act about it

No. 278193

There's literally a thread for that dingus, just open the catalog and see. >>66358

No. 278195

>say something more respectful and neutral like "I saw a beautiful woman with a great body cycling past me and I was immediately attracted to her"
Cool, if those are the terms you prefer to keep things in you are absolutely free to do so. Some of us like to think of the details and are also free to post about that stuff if we like. Anon didn't go up to the woman to tell her about it, did not doxx her or post a creepshot of her where she can be identified, didn't stare at her and make her uncomfortable. Her account of how she experienced seeing a sexy woman has absolutely zero effect on that stranger's life. You need to understand that you have a hypersensitivity thing regarding this kind of thing (which I respect, as a sexual assault survivor myself who still goes through street harassment regularly) and just stop reading when something upsets you. It's not that hard, it's certainly not un-lesbian.

The anon >>278019 who posted the story that triggered everyone wasn't merely making a hornypost, it was also about her shame towards how she feels. The sexual fantasy thread isn't a good place for that, as she's looking for community on a broader topic. And guess what, a bunch of polilezzes dogpiled on her and confirmed her insecurity. And for what? Thinking a woman is hot and writing a blurb about a stranger she didn't even post anything identifying about. People are acting unhinged and muddying the waters with their skewed mindsets.

No. 278196

"Act about it" by posting a vague description on an anonymous imageboard? If you ever get to speak to women in real life, you'll discover with shock that some (especially some straight ones) can get even more graphic…

No. 278197

Thinking you are creepy does not make someone a polilez lmao

No. 278200

At this point the person constantly having repetitive meltdowns about the "cottagecore polilez" boolying her hornyposts indistinguishable from the screencaps found in the MTF threads has to be a larp attempting to breed infighting because every time the topic goes back to something more intelligent the "uunngghh I saw a woman and wanted to eat her moist pussy so hard" posting starts again. Regular women know how degrading it is to be sexually objectified by strangers so they usually don't wish to impose it on others or at least are apologetic to a degree instead of this retarded "stop being a prude reee" mindset. My girlfriend can talk dirty to me all she wants but if someone I barely knew was talking about my "wet pussy"? May they fuck off from my presence inshallah

No. 278201

Once again, the anon didn't go up to her and say that to her. She posted about a thought online, on an anonymous imageboard. Her original post was also absolutely guilt ridden and apologetic. That you people self-insert as the stranger she didn't bother and act like she came up to you and harassed you on the street is what's truly mentally ill.

No. 278205

Again, if you can’t cope with the fact that women are attracted to women get out of the lesbian thread, you’re being a deadweight here
I’m sorry you’ve been harassed but literally every woman has been? Your sexual traumas have nothing to do with us.

No. 278210

NTA But why is it that the straight/bi women on here can have plenty of space to drool over the same sex (that they claim to hate so much) that has been killing us at insane rates, talk about their shitty relationships with moids, their one night stands & orgasmless sex free of guilt since anyone who tries to talk about how retarded it is gets piled on for trying to “suppress their heterosexuality” or some shit like that but the lesbian anons who write anything remotely sexual (or even weird like loving the smell of pussy sweat) about a female is nitpicked to death… accused of being a disgusting moid & to take it elsewhere? Like straight/bi women are allowed to be sexual about moids and but lesbians have to represent the peak radical feminism and anything that strays from that is “scrotey”.

No. 278211

>opens up /g/
>hides all the ‘men i sexy slurp slurp handsome unconventional peg peg based fem gaze radfem makeup birth control’ threads
>opens up /ot/
>hides all the ‘boyfriend problems my nigel based bf watching porn behind my doesn’t love me handsome men from shows men suck based radfem grr troubled camwhores’
>opens up /m/
>hides all the ‘slurpy slurp game men anime men who are homogays based radfem femgaze’
Alhamdulillah i have the idea of creating a lesbo imageboard, who’s with me? I still love my non-les nonnies, dearly love this website and our mods, but i think our own space would be cool.

No. 278212

It's literally the "don't shove your homosexuality down our throats" taking place inside the fucking lesbian thread. On an anonymous imageboard. Somehow being horny in our own thread towards someone who isn't even here is harassment.

No. 278217

> but i think our own space would be cool.
Girl, do you even see what is happening here right now lol
Obviously I love the idea but honestly I have come to the conclusion that lesbians themselves are at fault because all “lesbian” online spaces like this thread, l chat, a nook on radblr or ovarit are all shitholes (sorry nonas, i love you, but lets be real) if you made another site it would degrade into feminist purity shitslinging right away because someone wrote a retarded post about smelling pussy sweat

No. 278219

I've thought about it before honestly. I'm not a pro but I think I have enough dev skills to get an imageboard running. My main concern is that a 'cis' lesbian imageboard is going to be target #1 for moids so I assume raids would be daily and I don't want to deal with CP posters.

I've been toying with the idea of an imageboard where you select from a database of pre-approved images instead of users having the ability to upload. So it would be more of an anon discussion forum with lesbian-themed reaction images you can attach to your post.

No. 278221

Oh, that's a really cool idea! You could have a butch board tan and a femme board tan and little reactions for each… Maybe an email to submit new reactions for the database even!

No. 278222

Would contribute artfag stuff but moderating a lesbian site would be hell. Discord is more like it since you can make sure nobody is a male but Discord users are often unhinged retards so.

No. 278223

i understand why this has happened but it’s still annoying that lesbianism is like the only sexuality that people attach political philosophy to

No. 278232

Definitely more of a pipe dream, I guess. But it's fun to think about
Spicy straights are trying their best with queer theory, anon, give them time.

No. 278237

Because objectifying someone is disgusting, if they're going to degrade someone I'd rather it be men than other women.
Are you telling me women should be degraded and treated as pieces of meat by both men and women now? Come on. And again, this isn't even being sexually attracted to women, but literally acting like a disgusting scrote describing some random innocent women as an object. Use your damn brain.

No. 278241

no but it’s annoying when people attach purity politics to lesbianism and act like anyone being too horny about women is some tranny and/or scrote

No. 278243

>if they're going to degrade someone I'd rather it be men than other women.

well this is a lesbian thread so we’re not going to be sexually objectifying men here. you’re welcome to peruse the 3775432 other threads that degrade men tho

No. 278244

I am so happy to hear that! I think we might as well try, even if there are grains of truth in what >>278217 is saying- thelchat is nice, but it has a pretty normie vibe, celebrity obsession, back and forth bickering, you know. I love this website but there’s a lot i don’t really relate to. So we could have a board that’s chill, with a sprinkling of imageboard retardation, just for us.
Nonnie, I like your ideas. It’s cool that there are people with dev skills here, and the idea of pre selected images is a good one- or even trusted user privileges, such as image posting that the admin could grant. I think that could keep things safe.
That’s such a cute idea ngl

No. 278258

Have sex

No. 278259

If you want purity and political correctness go to Twitter/church not lolcow

No. 278261

>if they're going to degrade someone I'd rather it be men
I've no doubt you would, you're a straight radfem. Now get out of the thread, your kind is not wanted here

No. 278262

met a really cool girl on a lesbian dating app (unfortunately "kweer" friendly but i just ignore the transbians and couples) and we texted literally all day for 2 days straight, we talked about everything. now im feeling confused because in the past few days her texts have been way more sporadic and less detailed than at the start and we arent having the same kind of long conversation, just a "good morning" "hows work" "do you have plans" kind of talk each day. right now its been about 7 hours since she texted me last. i know its dumb but since we connected so hard on the first couple of days i got really attached to her already and really want to keep chatting but now shes kinda ignoring me? another factor is that shes away at the moment on holiday so she doesnt have as much time as normal to text me (shes hanging out with friends and doing things etc) but it was such a drastic difference in her texts from the start… what should i do? should i double text her again just to see if shes got plans tonight?

No. 278263

>getting upset at radfems
>getting upset at anons being against your creeping stories

No. 278264

She's just busy nonna oh my god, chill and let her enjoy her vacation

No. 278267

okay, youre right, i guess i needed that. the odd thing is i dont like when people are overly clingy on me but i enjoyed our conversation SO much i was already imagining our relationship. ill take it at a slower pace for now then, at least until she comes back. shall i still send my usual (well, usual for the past week) goodnight text though? god i probably sound insane

No. 278272

Ask her out, idiot. You don't have to be online friends, you got along, take it IRL.

No. 278273

i really want to but unfortunately she lives quite far away so a date would probably require about an hour of travel for one of us so it may be a bit soon, should i ask her to do voice/video chat instead?

No. 278275

I traveled an hour to meet people all the time back when I was making new friends in the city I live in. I don't think an hour travel is that weird for a date with someone you like well enough. It's just a couple hours total travel to potentially have a great time and build something great. Just my view though, takes forever to take public transit anywhere in my city lol.

No. 278278

okay, true. ill ask her when she comes back and see what she says. i hope she doesnt say no cause i will be crushed lmao

No. 278279

You do realize plenty of women find other women sexually attractive without acting like a predatory scrote and reducing them to a slab or meat, right?

No. 278281

Please make an example of how to hornypost without "reducing women to a slab of meat", since any mention of sexual activities and body parts is "scrote tier", o my holy queen of purity (who's also totally a lesbian).

No. 278283

Why do you need to hornypost about how thick and huge her ass was and how you wanted her sweaty pussy on your face? She's a damn stranger on the street, not looking to be sexualized by creeps. Could just say she's hot, has a nice figure and leave it at that instead of reducing her to body parts like a sleaze.
>o my holy queen of purity
Get over yourself.(are you lost?)

No. 278284

I wonder if we all start hornyposting we could scare your straight ass out of the thread…

No. 278285

>If we can't tranny tier hornypost about the body parts of the women we see on the street like pornsick moids it's purity obsessed cottagecore polilezzies suppressing us!!!
I swear half of this thread is just angry teenagers with the worst fucking black and white thinking there is or larping scrotes baiting infighting, which would seriously be indicated by the lack of empathy they have for women being objectified in general.

No. 278288

Ok now explain why hornyposting any which way we want in our thread is a bad thing. Let's assume it's moid tier. Who the fuck are you to police what words we choose to describe our feelings? Just because your entire life is framed around men does not mean we have to live like that. Some of us don't care about being the opposite of men in every way, we're busy being lesbians.

No. 278291

Love that there is an entire discussion happening in this thread with several whiteknights protecting the dignity of a poor objectified woman, meanwhile she herself literally knows nothing about this situation, and doesn’t even know some lezzie was looking at her the other day that resulted in a massive slapfight on an imageboard dedicated to lolcows the impact this woman’s ass has

No. 278292

My sides anon, that woman is probably going on about her life but whiteknight straight girl chan must protect her from being “objectified”

No. 278293

Get over yourself, it's several anons responding to you at this point because of how bizarre your outrage at lesbians expressing their sexual attraction in the lesbian thread is.
I'm not OP and never hornyposted before, but I'm gonna do it now because fuck you, that's why.

We can sure try, I'll begin.
What kind of woman attracts you the most, anons? My type is soft tomboys, preferably with short hair. I love to take care of them in bed, stroke their hair, make them squirm and eat them out until my jaw is sore. I've been going on a few dates with a short haired qt and all I know is I would lick every inch of her.
And most importantly, her moist pussy.

No. 278303

Only a moid would get this mad over not being allowed to objectify women

No. 278306

I love women who are a little chubby. Not obese but the higher end of a healthy BMI or overweight. I like kissing softer stomachs and resting my head there like a pillow, and soft thighs are the best. I also really love natural body hair. To the point where it's almost a dealbreaker if a woman shaves, which I kind of feel like an asshole about because it's shallow but I hate the texture of stubble. Body hair is pretty soft once it grows out, full hair feels smoother to me than stubble. Also bush is hot. And happy trails

No. 278312

Women who are slim/physically fit, taught stomach and nice shapely legs and huge ass.

No. 278315

Ur still here?

No. 278316

I consider this a bit graphic and I’ve literally never told this to anyone so… yeah

I have this fantasy of being used by a whole sports team like volleyball,football whatever, like I’d eat every single one of them out and they wouldn’t allow me to rest or anything, they could verbally degrade me too I don’t care, I just wanna be used by a woman and pleasure her

No. 278325

Short punkish girls with shaved heads or taller muscular girls with a softer side

No. 278335

File: 1658977419016.jpg (88.7 KB, 540x539, tumblr_8ba4a1fcc538f3964767b37…)

i love looking at vintage lesbian pics and imagining how their lives were after the photo / potentially how their lives are right now. i hope they're happy
lmao i condition my bush just for women like you, nona

No. 278336

Just putting this here for the sake of prosperity.

No. 278340

She’s gorgeous now I don’t know if I should feel jealous or attracted lol

No. 278359

idk if it's too radfemmy to say but I don't think I'd ever outwardly ogle a women in sports forced to wear underwear when men are able to wear shorts. Especially after those volleyball players got fined for wearing shorts.

Hornyposting is kind of weird. I'm ok with sex advice/conversations but just sharing what gets you off is a little weird.

No. 278360

Please see a therapist

No. 278363

well actually it makes me angry, being that i had to expirence wearing little short shorts for a uniform before and I was so uncomfortable with it it made me quit.
i can't imagine running and jumping in >>278336
shes basically wearing a thong and feeling like you have a wedgie when you're trying to preform at your best doesn't sound fun.

No. 278385

I'm the same, I discuss sex very openly with my friends etc but hornyposting is just cringy idk. I hide every single "hehe husbando slurp slurp" thread, and the video posted above is kinda icky too. Of course she's gorgeous but I think about how unpractical, uncomfortable and objectifying the outfit is too much.

No. 278387

Hell yeah to all of that. For me I'm a legs and arms worshipper for the most part. The firmness of her muscles combined with the softness of her skin and the cute bit of fat she packs in her thighs and upper arms drives me wild. I'm also obsessed with sniffing my woman's hair and neck, where her scent is mixed in with mine. Recently she accidentally flashed me while we were in a scenic public place at sunset and the light filtering through her milky skin made her pink nipples glow in the sun's last breath… Ugh. I wanted to suck on them so bad but she quickly covered up when she realized she had ridden her top too far up and we ran back home to avoid the strangers that may have seen it. Now I wanna have daylight sex with her in private but we have no space to do that in. Oh the way sunlight plays with her glowing complexion! Can't wait for her to get back into ab training so I can lick her abs and feel the ridges on my tongue.

No. 278391

I agree, hornyposting is cringe for me as well but I just ignore it and maybe I’ll read those later when I’m in the mood

No. 278440

>condition my bush
How do you do this without getting a yeast infection also does it even make a difference?

No. 278444

NTA but the shampoo I use is maui moisture. I just shampoo my pubes with that one because it's so rich, avoiding my actual pussy and just getting the hairs. I've only had a yeast infection once in my life, a decade ago.

No. 278479

I feel like I will never get over my first girlfriend

No. 278681

Can this thread be normal for like, two days without resorting to chimp outs?

Fuck Lea DeLaria. If her sexuality and/or butchness is threatened by Ruby Rose, the most safe for heterosexual consumption, baby bihets first girl crush, Justin Bieber looking ass """butch""" who I've never seen without a full face of make-up, then she's got serious problems. She always gave me chest beating, alpha butch vibes and it's sad to see that she's terminally retarded too. Anyway I love being a faggot butch and I'm too busy admiring myself in a mirror a la Johnny Bravo to listen to dinosaurs like her.

No. 278697

Think about that girl I helped today at work, she was really nice and wanted to keep conversing but I had to go help out some other customers sadly. She was getting really personal idk if it was flirtatious in nature but I wish we could of kept talking. I basically only meet and talk to people at work now it's sad.

No. 278782

>I'm too busy admiring myself in a mirror a la Johnny Bravo to listen to dinosaurs like her.
Anon I'm in love with you and your way with words

No. 278810

The women I want to be with the most right now, one has a boyfriend she didn't tell me about while she was playflirting with me and I've since been ghosted by her, the other one she made me feel so listened to but she's deeply in love with her girlfriend of several years that she calls her wife. And they're both on the literal other side of the world I'm so stupid for letting myself feel anything for either of them but they're who I most want to be with right now. I'm dying a virgin for sure

No. 278815

>What kind of woman attracts you the most, anons
A bit late but my type is the stereotypicaly intellectual/academic oriented women, I love the whole nerdy look and behaviour, I have a bit of a thing for glasses too. If she is weird and slightly off putting ( because she do not care about looking acceptable for society and is too buzy thinking about some complicated problems or abstract theories ) it's even better ! This type is just so charming and cute to me, it drives me wild to even think about it

God, what a perfect post nonnie, my sides

No. 278825

omg nona same, i was just thinking how ideal it’d be to date another strange/offputting woman. i consider myself to be like this as well (down to the glasses lol, although i dont think im as smart which is ok!) and get so anxious about coming off normal enough to not scare off a woman i find attractive - it’d just feel correct to find someone else on that same wavelength. not hide away the weird girls we grew up to cover up. ill stop being corny now

No. 278826

Obligatory “I’m bi, but-“ I’m so horny, I’ve always wanted to try tribbing. I heard it’s not that great but it looks so hot

No. 278843

>I'm too busy admiring myself in a mirror a la Johnny Bravo to listen to dinosaurs like her.
KEK I love you anon, it's sad though that so many boomer butches have her mindset due to the internalized homophobia.

No. 278845

nta but same all I want in life is an equally weird autistic woman to be my hermit wife.
it can be really hard to get a good angle with normal tribbing depending on your body types but tribbing with a vibe between you is A+++

No. 278857

Is being skinny a turn off for you? Stress and depression ruined my appetite for a while and now that I'm bony I feel like I don't get any attention from women whatsoever.

No. 278867

It depends. I had a crush on a girl who was a lot thinner than me and I didn't mind, but I'm personally chubby and I get nervous approaching skinnier girls because I feel like they'd prefer someone also skinny. I'm fine with most body types since I tend to notice women's faces first

No. 278924

>get so anxious about coming off normal enough to not scare off a woman i find attractive - it’d just feel correct to find someone else on that same wavelength
I deeply relate nonnie, I always try to hide who I am because I'm afraid of being a weirdo but I just end up looking super dull and cold because of it. Wishing you the best in the quest to find a fellow strange gf!

>Weird autistic woman to be my hermit wife
My absolute dream!

No. 278933

It's only a turn off if I can't play your ribs like a xylophone with the strap

No. 278946

File: 1659275248398.jpg (4.24 KB, 225x225, 1655309868167.jpg)

No. 279180

File: 1659414887331.png (423.01 KB, 1280x1280, 360CAB4E-4F79-4E71-B09F-718586…)

No. 279193

File: 1659421247907.jpg (655 KB, 1442x2048, 105901_23398092.jpg)

Any Weeb anons reading The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All by Arai Sumiko ?

No. 279197

So it is a real manga and not just one shot? How much is released already?

No. 279213

Just had a date. It's been two years since a big breakup. I'm feeling even more discouraged. She was the only lesbian in my area amongst a sea of couples, men, gender/queer - specials and we just didn't hit it off. The date was pretty boring.

No. 279220

I really enjoy it and can’t wait for the next chapter, but I think it is funny how they are bonding over their boomer dad taste in music

No. 279248

Nah its like a lot of 3 page chapters (currently ch13 I think) uploaded every sunday. Very Shoujo ai I think the ending will probably just be a confession and that's it.

yeah rocker gf idea is so cute too surprisingly I haven't really seen that in yuris before. Why do we only get school girl shit. Lowkey starting to feel deceptive in how it's a secret though makes me a little sad but the art is so cute.

nb4 anyone says go to m I scrolled like 10 pages and there's no yuri thread it's dead!

No. 279280

>I think the ending will probably just be a confession and that's it
Kind of sad, but then again it means there won't be any guy friend or long-lost ex bestfriend drama arc, so it is a win in my book. Better short and sweet than a drawn out flop with 5 breakup arcs.
Also I don't know how to feel about the green backgrounds (it is weird but it doesn't annoy me though thankfully)

No. 279325

Don't be discouraged.I hope you meet someone nice.

I just got off a 7 year relationship by them pulling a no contact. Crazy because my gut is telling me she cheated and she just can't come clean about it. Next week would have been out anniversary too.
Los Angeles Lesbians sounds very intimidating so I'll be single for a while.

No. 279327

not sure if this makes me sound like a loser but meeting a lesbian off here and hitting it off sounds fun to me. is that dumb?

No. 279331

I'd never contact someone from here because catfishing but I'm manifesting a weird terminally online butch to randomly appear in my life IRL. I want us to share a bed and a meme folder.

No. 279337

maybe this is retarded but now you mention it i wonder if the radfem sides of tumblr and twitter might be good for getting to know women?

No. 279338

ayrt def not! theres just something kinda nice about knowing someone being the same brand as weird and chronically only as the other anon said, yk? but its something to think about.

No. 279348

I'd love to make irl friends here but I'm ugly so no.

No. 279370

we can be ugly together nona

No. 279398

File: 1659541222533.jpg (62.06 KB, 730x380, image.jpg)

I'm curious, how many of you would date a detrans woman?

No. 279399

Never anyone with the word trans associated with them, ‘de’ or not

No. 279403

i would, but thats just me

No. 279405

I would too since I prefer masc women

No. 279410

Depends how far into transition she was and how much testosterone warped her body. I don't want to suck on a 3 inch clit but the titchop wouldn't bother me. Frog voice would likely be a deal breaker for me and I'd need her to get the beard completely lasered off if she ended up with one. I love female masculinity but what T does to the body is beyond just masc.

No. 279412

Being trans anything implicates that there’s some bpd shit going on so I’ll pass

No. 279418

Personally it's not the effects of hormones or surgeries that repulse me because she's still a woman but I would still avoid dating them simply because they come with too much mental baggage and problems that would hinder the relationship immensely.

No. 279432

Agreed. Well, maybe not masc, but definitely harder facial features.
Top surgery kinda freaks me out, so maybe not someone without boobs.

No. 279433

Have y'all seen benedetta? I want that to happen to me

No. 279434

I would if T hasn't completely ruined her body. But only if she has healed mentally from the gender shit and self hatred like other anons mentioned. A dertans woman would probably be wonderful if she learns to love and embrace herself as a masc woman.

No. 279444

I wish I already watched it. A woman wanted to go to the movies with me and I suggested it, but she instead wanted to watch some shitty romcom about a straight couple and a gay male couple and I feel cheated.

No. 279447

You gotta watch, it's so good. Renaissance convent lesbianism, sign me up

No. 279458

Would you consider being called a dyke an insult? I used to think that word was really bad and feared being called that (back when I didn't understand my sexuality and also didn't want people to think I liked women for some reason) but now I wouldn't really care

No. 279469

It's still an insult, just not one I'm gonna give power to by letting it bother me too much. I like throwing it at other lesbians that I'm close with, just as an in-joke. Nobody but lesbians should be allowed to use the word though, it's an insult out of anyone else's mouth.

No. 279483

Both are cesspits full of drama and stupid discourse (I saw some radfem blogs say that strap-ons were invented by porn and only fake lesbians use them) but there are some cool people in those circles. But they're not people I'd want to date.

No. 279500

I'd worry about whatever personality trait that led she to becoming trans developing into some other issue

No. 279508

File: 1659573962474.png (155.13 KB, 459x344, tumblr_inline_mgnggmKFQQ1r22u1…)

Saging because it's dumb as hell but I'm going to an arcade with my friends later tonight. The issue is… some girl I matched with and ghosted because I wasn't feeling it at all works there. Pray for me nonnas, this is my punishment for being a stereotypical ghosting dyke :')

No. 279511

Yeah as long as she dealt with whatever mental issue caused her to troon out. I don't mind the effects of T, I have hirsutism and am totally open to dating another bearded lady kek. No phallo though because it freaks me out.

No. 279517

I hope you have a good time nonita! I took a chance 9 months ago and texted back a woman I thought I wouldnt vibe with but found really cute. I texted her out of the blue when she crossed my mind after ghosting her for 2 years and while she did give me a hard time about the ghosting (rightfully so), she enjoyed our first date so much it turned into a whole weekend spent together with sorrowful parting when we had to go back to our respective jobs. She took a chance herself texting me back, and we’ve been dating ever since. I just got done making our dinner and packing our lunches for tomorrow and she fell asleep on the couch looking so precious. Sometimes life works out in unexpected ways!

No. 279521

Thank you nonita! I definitely had fun with my friend and his sister, I even managed to win one of those plague doctor squishamallows after 2 tries at the claw machines :)
Awww you and your gf sound so cute wtf I want that for myself one day. Sadly even if I hit this girl up again I don't think it'll go anywhere since rn I'm living and working in a very seasonal beach area until I go back to college, she told me her situation is similar lol. On the bright side she wasn't working there so I was able to avoid the awkwardness. I do feel bad though, part of me just wants to hit her up to explain myself- I recently got two jobs so I have no time to myself let alone going on dates.

Though, I did decide to hit up my friend from college who I have a crush on about a month ago to tell her I was watching Arcane which she kept telling me to watch when we were on campus together. I'm awful at watching shows but it was a perfect reason to talk to her again (plus it's VERY good holy shit) and now we've been talking for the past… month and a half iirc? So hopefully THAT goes somewhere, I tested the waters with flirting (told her I thought she would look nice in a skirt) and her reaction wasn't negative so I'm gonna take that as a small victory.(:))

No. 279593

I have a lot of sympathy for detransitioners and I tend to agree with a lot of their views, so it's not something I'm opposed to ideologically, but I'm not attracted to most masculine women, so it might not work out. I know most hormone effects besides the face, genitals, voice (which I can tolerate), stay the same while other physical changes like fat distribution go away, but I see some of them still struggle with facial hair.
I also couldn't date someone who had any surgeries like no breasts or a fake penis.

No. 279721

I had a really lovely sex dream about a girl I was pining with years ago but eventually ended it due to my own internalized homophobia and it still feels like a kick in the stomach. I still follow her socials and she makes my heart throb even to this day but she rightfully got over me being such a fucking tease and moved on with her life. I hate being semi-closeted because I feel like I will live forever alone for the rest of my life because I can't rip off the bandaid and just be openly gay. I'm too afraid of being disowned by my family, thought of as a degenerate by the society around me and the woman I love breaking my heart by leaving me for a man because it's happened so many times around me. Sorry for venting but I'm genuinely upset about this all the time.

No. 279735

I'm perhaps too giddy about being out and visible but it has opened up so many doors for me that any street harassment or family hostility has been completely worth it. If your area is truly unsafe then obviously you're not a shit person or a coward for not being out but if you're not in physical danger, I say take the plunge. The tolerance of straight people isn't worth missing out on real lesbian connections. If you're not visible, you won't find community.

Whenever I see a fellow lesbian out on the street, we exchange smiles or nods and even that is so powerful. You will feel loved.

No. 279772

Fetch the bolt cutters
You've been there too long

No. 279868

File: 1659775662589.jpg (155.97 KB, 939x498, damn bitch.jpg)

Have you ever gone to a woman's house and suddenly completely lost interest in her due to her lack of tidiness? I am absolutely by no means a clean freak but I went to the apartment of a girl I've been seeing casually for the first time and to get to her bed I was wading literally shin-deep in dirty laundry and alcohol bottles. She shrugged it off by saying she worked 5 days this week, bitch so did I, I didn't forget how to use a laundry hamper and a bin ffs. The bottom of my grey socks were black after walking on her landing carpet.
She also pressures me to drink more than I'd like and then makes fun of me for being a lightweight (after I'm drunk off of an entire bottle of wine) so I don't think it was meant to be. Disappointing because she's really cute but this is more than I can handle kek.

No. 279878

Girl, she’s an alcoholic. You dodged a bullet
>she worked 5 days this week
Kek, doesn’t almost everyone work 5 days a week

No. 279898

>The bottom of my grey socks were black after walking on her landing carpet.
oh god
>he also pressures me to drink more than I'd like
I'd consider what her intentions are here

No. 279903

you definitely dodged a bullet there, nona. the drinking is definitely a red flag, what she does for herself is her own choice but an entire bottle is not lightweight amounts.

No. 280114

File: 1659904222240.jpg (88.69 KB, 521x755, carol_ver7.jpg)

I just finished watching Carol. God, did it give me butterflies. I wanna fall in love like this with an older woman. I'd prefer it if the ending made it more obvious that they were gonna be together, like a grand kiss and a hug like you see in cheesy het romantic dramas. It's not fair…

No. 280646

I can understand being a messy person because I'm one myself. But her sheer shameless about it is the most shocking, because it indicates she doesn't see anything wrong with it. A messy person who is embarrassed or hides their messiness at least knows it's not okay.

No. 280656

It's finally happened. I'm trying to write this in chronological order. This is a LDR of 7 years btw.

>friend died tragically/dog died/ possible failure of job exam/ dealing with fire emergency/ family members sick

>gf dissappears for a month
>I text her every day to see if she'll talk to me
> finally talks to me and tells me it's bc she is busy with her new job. Every day she felt guilty about not talking to me so it piled up. She likes hanging out with her friends.
> tells me she needs a biopsy for cancer
> tells me she has no response when I asked her if she loved me. And that she needs more time.

I can't believe I wasted 7 Years with her. Should I stay or should I go? I'm still in love with her and everything hurts.im concerned about her diagnosis but she didn't even flinch about it. She gets drunk often now.
I even had the idea of going to go see her to see if she's ok or talk yo her but I don't want to seem crazy. Any advice would be appreciated.

No. 280658

The top part where I explained that my friend died is things that happened to me in the last 3 months.

No. 280672

While my impulse is to give her the benefit of the doubt, what truly matters for you is that whether your needs were met. Doesn't mean she is evil or unkind necessarily, just an objective look at whether you were fulfilled in a time of need. Answer is obviously that you weren't when you needed support at a time of loss and she made it about herself b saying she felt guilty.

What do you need now?

No. 280678

Love yourself nonnie. It's gonna hurt for a long time to break it off but someone who ghosts you for a month after a seven year relationship and won't say she loves you back does not deserve the love you're giving her or the support you're offering. Not to mention that a long distance relationship where one person can't be bothered to even text back won't work - LDRs can fall apart easily even with good communication, which this is not. You deserve to be loved whole-heartedly.

No. 280698

File: 1660009440017.jpeg (266.57 KB, 828x862, F045E8F0-397F-4783-B1C5-7402D2…)

excuse you? this made me sick to my stomach

No. 280700

kek, good ol bisexual erasure. How woke.

No. 280702

you'd think after what recently happened with roe v wade in america these people would be able to show the tiniest bit of empathy towards women who don't want to be involved with penises

No. 280704

Sage for rant; I have no problem with bisexuals, but I honestly wish these "inclusive queer" types would shut the fuck up about genitals have nothing to do with sexuality. The vast majority of people do not have an intersex condition where their genitals are ambiguous (and even then people are still male or female, it's just a genetic issue), and someone's phenotype correlates to what genitals they have the vast majority of the time. Up until this gender madness became more mainstream, everybody knew what someone meant when they said "I like women/men", because it was understood that woman=female=having a vulva and man=male=having a penis.

I thought it was Trans Politics 101 that gender is a social construct? Animals don't ask each other what their pronouns are when they're in heat (especially not the ones who mate with the same sex). When I was figuring out who and what I liked during puberty, I wasn't trying to oppress transgenders (a literal minority, I never even met one until I was an adult) when I realized that male bodies and penises were not appealing to me and never would be? And even if this was a "preference" that was caused by being abused, my therapist has told me that I deserve consent and can say no to whoever I want.

"Lesbians" who "like dick" are either lying to save face or kinsey 4/5 bisexuals who think mainly liking feminine people makes them not bisexual.

No. 280705

it's so telling that their #1 target is always "lesbians who don't like dick" and not "gay men who don't like pussy" or straight women or men

No. 280718

AYRT, they do say that about gay men now, but the difference is if a straight woman pretending to be a man walked into gay club full of bears and whatnot, she'd get laughed at. The other way around wouldn't go the same way.

No. 280754

File: 1660035463881.jpeg (1.15 MB, 1125x3697, 1659802258361.jpeg)

I wonder if she even tried to have sex with a trans women

No. 280758

These women generally don’t date deep-end mtfs (and to be fair majority of mtfs that do the big snip are gay men), they are just bisexuals who date some crusty they/them male who wears female underwear. These “lesbian” women are completely removed from the realities of dating “transbians” which is why it is so easy to virtue signal on twitter about it.

No. 280761

What would you think if your new gf had weekly sleepovers with a single lesbian friend of hers? To make it worse, I think they had sex in the past, many years ago.
Trying to gauge whather I'm being paranoid/overly jealous or not.

No. 280764

Uhhhh that's sus as fuck and I'd dump her.

No. 280773

She's still having sleepovers with her? I don't like that at all.

No. 280790

I read this post when I started looking into more gender critical stuff and it was years ago, it kind of turned my world upside down because when I was a libfem I saw lesbians just say "I'm penis repulsed, so I would only date a post op transwoman" as a save, and I figured I would use that excuse too if I was asked, since most TIMs don't get surgery and the ones who do are usually attracted to men only.

I think the insidious part IMO is that the OP says if you had sex with a woman before then you'd realize it's different. But a lot of lesbians nowadays are very inexperienced and I have friends that are aged between 20-30+, and half of them have dated or had sex and most never were in a LTR. I'm on the older side and have problems finding someone my age to just hook up with. Why? Because our apps are full of men and women who want threesomes, our LGB spaces were rebranded to be "queer, inclusive", the few lesbian bars opened are also inclusive and allow anyone. There isn't a real place to explore homosexuality IME unless you're really lucky and have a lot of gay friends IRL that aren't queerios.

A lot of these girls will be told it's the same and believe it because they never experienced what actual sex is a woman is like. I knew a girl who was pressured to date TIMs as a teenager since she was told they're women too and it traumatized her so much (and the TIM assaulted her), she was too scared to have actual sex with a real woman. And she met more women who went through this too later.

No. 280829

You are def right, couple the pressure on lesbians to be inclusive with misogyny and misinformation around vaginas and you will get young girls getting poisonings and infections from getting exposed to mtf's poop bacteria festering amholes. I can see how especially underage girls (and we know tims are predators and I don't put it past for some 30yo to prey on a teen lesbian) can just end up thinking that the shit stink or weird inside is just normal "variation". I mean when I was a teenager I thought there was something wrong with me because my pussy didn't stank like fish since everyone was making "jokes" about how vaginas stink and nowadays on top of that you get TRA's reeing at kids about penises being female genitalia and Teen Vogue (? maybe it was some other magazine) making articles on lesbian sex 101 that includes anal sex and prostate stimulation

No. 280832

i would go crazy with jealousy if this was me. def sus as fuck

No. 280841

AYRT, that's true, but as I said most TIMs don't get surgery and the ones who do are gay men trying to become "straight women". I actually hardly see "lesbian sex ed" that talks about neo"vaginas" (bc only less than 10% of TIMs get surgery), but on the flip side, a lot of young lesbians are being coerced into dealing with actual penis. There's so much stuff saying that penises are like strap-ons (or that if you're willing to use a dildo then a penis is the next logical conclusion), or that you can just have sex without touching his penis or let him do things to you. That was basically what my friend who was assaulted and other lesbians who were coerced by TIMs said it was like.

That's kind of why some lesbians just lie and say they would "only date a post op transwoman" because there are hardly any "transbians" who actually do it. It's a lie to save face, but as that Tumblr post described it, it wouldn't be an enjoyable experience either since it's an inverted penis with nothing connecting on the inside. It's like choosing between vomit and poop.

No. 280848

Have you ever even met in real life?

No. 280857

sorry to be harsh but this is why ldrs need to last a year or 2 max. most people in relationships date for a few years and then settle down, either formally or by moving in together. i would never date someone for more than a few years without moving in with them. what's the point?

No. 280932

I found a chapter about medieval lesbians, so I'm sharing some tidbits
>The main problem with lesbians, according to the church, was that they were involved with secret girly touching and led other women away from marriage and husbands. Tsk tsk , for shame. Canonists didn’t really know what to do with them, and often just looked the other way and focused on more pressing matters, like whose cow was allowed to eat the grass on the verge between two properties and whether or not the bread was undersized.
>By the fourteenth century, the mumblings and veiled comments developed into full-blown angst. Women who loved women in any other way than a firm, platonic friendship were now viewed with hostility. Women were cautioned not to form strong friendships with other women, just in case an unnatural attachment might blossom. Sermons were needed. Fingerpointing happened. Name-calling became nastier and more frequent.
>In this respect, sinning with a close female friend carried the same punishment as sinning alone, which is a bit surprising. Normally solo activities were slightly less punishable offences than group ones. Fasting for penance was defined as fasting for all holy days, not every day of the week. Mind you, there was an extremely large number of holy days. Saint’s days, which made up public holidays, numbered around sixty a year, a lot of time for reflection of sins.
About sex toy use in medieval times
>They might have straps, all the better to play with a friend. Confessional advice.
>They might not have straps. All the better to play solo. More confessional advice.
>They are shown by the basket full. Marginalia manuscripts of naughty nuns.
>Several images show the cat running away with them. More manuscripts.

No. 280979

Yeah she basically stopped talking to me when my life became upside down.

I haven't met her in rl yet she kept giving every excuse and she had very possessive parents that prevented her from being close to others. She recently moved which she was going to buy me my ticket before she stopped talking to me.

I feel like I'm getting older, I'm 29 and I'm turning 30 next year. I have always played it safe and always tried to do the right thing…so for myself, I bought a plane ticket to confront her to have a conversation on what happened. I know it will be an eventual heartbreak but if im going to suffer I want to do it properly so I can be over her completely and not have the "what if" for the rest of my life.
I want to tell this thread that I'll update once I go. This is going to be the one crazy, irrational thing that I did in my 20's.

No. 280980

This is very similar to what my friend went through, including a very juvenile LDR gf with controlling and overbearing parents that always had excuses on why she couldn’t get serious and commit irl. Only she is much younger. And my advice to you is to not start yet another LDR/e-flirting thing as a rebound, because that will be just pathetic lol.

No. 281034

They had straps??

No. 281039

Yeah people often say it's a modern invention, but Katherina Hetzeldorfer was executed in 1477 for female homosexuality and she made a strap.
>“She made an instrument with a red piece of leather, at the front filled with cotton, and a wooden stick stuck into it, and made a hole through the wooden stick, put a string through, and tied it round; and therewith she had her roguery with the two women….”
There also was Bertolina, who was charged in 1295 for the use of them.
The oldest known relic that’s believed to be a strap-on is from the Upper Paleolithic Period, 30,000 B.C. Personally I've never used a strap nor do I think it's essential. It's interesting however how old the practice is.

No. 281040

Holy shit that's based lmao. Thanks for sharing

No. 281044

File: 1660194638636.jpg (99.24 KB, 288x371, the universe by hildegard of b…)

The funny thing is that the catholic church might have unwittingly promoted lesbianism by constantly fucking asking about it in detail during confession. And basically teaching women how to make straps. They make it sound like lesbian nuns were extremely common. Especially in Germany. I got most of the info from "the very secret sex lives of medieval women" by Rosalie Gilbert. You're welcome!

No. 281190

You should bring it up

No. 281305

Been seeing a girl for a few weeks and I can't tell what's going on. In person she seems very interested, takes note of little things I say or do, proposes fun things to do and plans ahead, even told me she's deleted every dating app and isn't seeing anyone else because she's seeing me. But then I get some mixed signals when she's away: last week after the date I suggested we saw each other again on the next day or the day after before I went on vacation, and suddenly she said she was busy with a friend even though she didn't say anything about it when I talked about it during the date, and even though during said date she invited me to stay the night? Was she gonna kick me out on the next day? I don't know, it felt off, especially because our end-of-date goodbye felt very rushed on her part, like she couldn't wait to leave. She's also a very slow texter with me, sometimes she reads my message but doesn't reply for a day or more, though she uses her phone. At the same time, she already planned a date for the week I go back from the vacation.
Am I reading too much into it? I know that some people just hate texting, but you know… Sometimes it's just difficult to read people.

No. 281313

As someone who hates texting, this sounds normal to me. Plus like you don't have to be attached at the hip. At worst it just sounds like she's forgetful or has ADHD.

No. 281315

Understandable. As someone who's been burned often with dating app people and their tendency to move on fast and ghost without a second thought, sometimes I overthink it (but I keep it to myself, don't wanna come off as paranoid kek). I guess that if she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have planned another date.

No. 281318

NTA but yeah, take it easy. You can start feeling bad if she cancels the next date but you're good for now.

No. 281620

I'm sorry if this sounds retarded but I feel like it's really hard to find women who are have lower incomes, lower education levels, aren't professionals, whatever. On apps I can't even find women to swipe on because I guess I'm the only lesbian in my area who doesn't have a university degree.

Obviously it's wonderful that women are successful and I'm not trying to complain about that, I just wish it was easier to find women at my class level too. It's hard to watch my straight friends who are also poor get into relationships super easily with other poor straight people. Where are all the wageslave lesbians? Maybe poor women are more vulnerable to comphet and get stuck with men for financial reasons? Idk. The only women I ever find in my income range have kids from a previous moid.

No. 281621

The poor lesbians I know tend to have religious backgrounds and avoid apps because they have self-hating issues. They're more interested in integrating into het society than finding love with a woman. Of course, that is my anecdotal experience.

No. 281648

File: 1660408939905.png (94.92 KB, 321x285, unknown_4.png)

>I don't want to suck on a [spoiler]
As a lesbian with a DSD genetic condition, I remember my first gf as a teenager calling my clit "weird" and I haven't been in a relationship since. I've basically accepted it but it still stings to be reminded.

No. 281651

i can’t remember if i’ve posted about this before but basically i’m wondering if i’m doing sex “wrong” with my girlfriend. my girlfriend and i both like tribbing (i think that’s the word) and whereas my girlfriend can get off from scissoring, i usually need something a bit pointier and end up using her hip bone. i got kind of used to masturbating using the corner of a desk so it’s made it more difficult to orgasm from fingering/cunnilungus (although we tend to not do the latter because my girlfriend doesn’t really like giving or receiving). my girlfriend seems satisfied with all this but i can’t help but feel like im just using her body to masturbate when i grind against her. idk

No. 281655

I struggle to look at people that very clearly have had plastic surgery they just look so uncanny and wrong to me.
You probably shouldn't let that one encounter hold you back. Teenagers are dumb.

No. 281693

That's true. It's the weird mix of "already insecure because of being attracted to women living in the bible belt" and "too many androgens made my body more masculine and that makes me feel out of place around women". I don't necessarily consider myself any more butch than your average tomboy either. But I feel almost like if I do try to put myself out there, I have to present myself as more masculine to make up for my body's development.

The only positive of the current troonery trend is that my body doesn't look too different from most ftms, but it feels more embarrassing to try to explain my health condition than I think it would be to say, "I'm on T" or something.

No. 281694

Huh, I'm having the opposite experience. Majority of women I find here are lower income and didn't go to uni.

No. 281695

Don't be embarrassed about your condition. I'm the anon that made the post about the spoilered clit length and I wasn't thinking of medical reasons at all, my mind went to purposely doing that to oneself. If you want to present more masc you can always do so but there is no one acceptable way to be, what makes you feel comfortable is what you should go with.

No. 281697

>I don't necessarily consider myself any more butch than your average tomboy either. But I feel almost like if I do try to put myself out there, I have to present myself as more masculine to make up for my body's development.
Are you me? My clit is average but I have really bad hirsutism. I'm naturally tomboyish too but I feel like I need to butch it up since my body is so masculine. It feels like only FTM chasers could possibly be attracted to me so I might as well go full man you know?

No. 281747

Huh I'm butch and I feel opposite pressure. I always feel like I'm expected to make up with more femininity for not having a feminine body. It's not that I give into the pressure, I just complain about it. Like the only times I've seen other women seem to be into butches, is with the expectation that there's a super curvy body hidden underneath the men's clothes. Almost to make up for being butch. Or bicurious women hoping that there's 0 sign you're a woman, which doesn't count. I wish I could be chased, but I just feel like my body is either too masculine or feminine and I make things more difficult for myself by being butch.

No. 281752

Weirdly relatable, I notice one struggle I have with relationships is I never have time outside of work, so I go on apps, but then I'm paycheck-to-paycheck and I'm lucky if I have any money left over for anything actually fun to do like going out for dinner or to an arcade. I kind of wish there were women my type nearby in this boat since I feel like a NEET except I do have a job

No. 281801

File: 1660486817883.png (654.11 KB, 703x740, 6.PNG)

Happy Sunday to my fellow lesbians who don't have faces or who are just stripy blobs

No. 281839

File: 1660504445727.jpeg (27.08 KB, 554x554, images (3).jpeg)

Bump. The dumbass score is posting porn and sperging again.

No. 281840

My gf dated a mtf tranny for like years..and he was so abusive and manipulative towards her I think it messed her up a bit it makes me so sad(and angry at that man) she has a hard time saying no to anything that at the end I have to help her stand up for herself I love her so much and will always treat her kindly and softly
Has anyone been in a relationship like this?? Like dated someone who was abused by a Tim ?

No. 281842

Somewhat disappointed that the bot makes the pictures all have flags in the background. I suppose it could be worse, the bot could've made it all porn. And are there really that many "lesbian flag remade" flags being used also? I hope not and the bot's just messing around with colors. The current most used flag isn't perfect but I couldn't care less about who makes pride flags. People care way too much about that and it ruins lesbian cohesion with immature shit.

No. 281876

After this, I don't think I will do Ldrs or e-dating anymore. I am extremely heartbroken and am so scared and confused. I feel like I'm just putting all my efforts to the meeting. As of right now I'm trying to just relax and do self care but it's hard because I have anxiety. I can't eat or sleep well, but I bought some vitaminq gummies to try to see if I can sleep.

No. 281887

File: 1660529957692.png (515.63 KB, 656x1046, dallemini_2022-8-14_21-18-21.p…)

I fixed it

Tag yourself I'm top right half face ripped off lesbian

No. 281962

anyone else think they will probably be single most of their life

No. 281977

>click g on lolcow
>grandma barges in to say a prayer I look at my computer screen see lesbian general
>close screen while she's looking at screen
>says prayer and leaves

Why does being in the closet have to be so stressful.

No. 281980

I've had multiple close friends who were, so I kind of understand the "mindset" for how it goes on. Almost all of them were "TWAW" liberals who thought they should give him a chance (but some I talked to were fooled on dating apps or they were initially friends), and all had a denial phase and still used "she" when talking about him (I did the same thing when I had an emotionally manipulative TIM friend), but after a while they realized it was a man all along.

Is your GF some kind of gender-critical or open to the idea? Because a radfem blogger made a zine of artwork and writings from women who were hurt by TIMs (and not all of them are "transphobic", there are submissions from women with different kind of opinions), and she also has a "politically neutral" support group for it (similar to the zine, women with all kinds of opinions are allowed, but I assume that if you're in it, you're at least tolerant of radfems or gender-criticals).

No. 281984

lmao sorry nonnie that sounds hilarious to me
Tell her you were putting hexes on all the evil lolcow lesbos

No. 281994

I would’ve crapped myself and said a demon got into the computer and looked it up wtf
>>281962 why? Do you think singledom is more likely for lesbians?

No. 282009

Piggybacking on this, what's you anons' stance on your girlfriend spending a lot of one-on-one time with a female friend?
Would you be okay with them having sleepovers, staying at each other's apartment all day or seeing each other more often than you see her? When is it "too much" for you, and does her sexuality matter? For example, would you be more upset at the friend being a lesbian/bi/an ex and staying at her place all day vs the friend being straight (that you know of) and them sleeping in the same bed alone? I feel like while in the case of a straight couple it'd be a definitive cause of breakup for most, with a lesbian couple + girl friend it's harder to draw a line, because they could actually just be "besties".

No. 282016

For sure, I think I will be. I already am terminally single. I know I need to put myself out more, be active on dating apps etc., but I still don’t hold my breath over potential prospects

No. 282022

I've been single for 20+ years (unless I count that one 'relationship' that was very one-sided) I do want to find somebody but I'm afraid to settle for someone who's lifestyle/personality doesn't mesh well with mine. I think lesbians were already rare to begin with and the new wave of genderspeicals/qweer/sjw types doesn't isn't helping

No. 282023

Dating apps are full of fuckboys, wishy-washy types, pieces of shit only after their own gratification etc., I remember a study saying you're less likely to find someone special on dating apps because of how full of assholes they are

No. 282024

Me. I hate that I'm a goldstar because I hate my ugly body and now I'm too old 31 to reveal that I'm still an inexperienced virgin. I spent years thinking I'm """"bisexual"""" yet never dated or had sex with a man because they repulsed me and only had feelings for and desired other women. Actually makes me want to kys myself and try again in my next life. I'm so tired nonnas, I'm so jealous of everyone who grew up in a supportive environment and/or realized their sexuality at an early age when they got to experiment and develop

No. 282026

Yeah. I never understood why "just download an app" is given as advice to lesbians when you can get banned for not being "inclusive" on most of them, and I've never gotten a match on any dating app that resulted in doing anything in person.

Relatable. I'm so jealous of women who got to go on dates and experiment in their teens and 20s. At this point, I'd settle with fumbling around with a bored bi-curious woman as long as she doesn't have a boyfriend that wants a threesome. But I've talked to 30-33+ year old lesbians who never had a long term relationship, and they say they can get dates fine, they just don't tell that they're inexperienced.

No. 282027

I feel like most who use dating apps use it more to fight boredom and find a texting partner, rather than actually wanting to meet up. The only women who wanted to meet up were in a couple, trying to shill a MLM, or more interested in activities where you don't even get to know each other better (like going to the cinema for a first date?). I get assumed to be a fuckboy either way due to being butch and not wanting to jump into a relationship so fast (at this point you're expexted to make it official before even meeting), even though the serial monogamist hopeless romantic Uhaulers go through more women in a year than I'll ever be with in a lifetime.

No. 282028

I've known multiple women who have found short-term relationships and hook-ups through apps. I'd kill for that to be me.

No. 282029

Straight/bisexual people don't know how good they have it when they were able to experiment, fool around, learn all the relationship skills and become comfortable with sex in their teens and early 20's while we were too busy hiding or denying our true identities. I didn't come out as a lesbian until my late 20's after almost two decades of knowing it yet never admitting it to myself and by that point everyone had gotten over their gay until graduation phase and looked for a man to settle down and to start a family with.

Also I hate that the lesbians who are dating the same woman they did in high school or who have been out since they were 13 and dated a ton of women rarely understand how it feels like. When I read that "My lesbian experience with loneliness" book it was like having a third eye open when someone else was describing your feelings to such relatable degree. I dream about hot, passionate, fulfilling sex with a woman but in all honesty I would probably have a fucking panic attack if I had to take my clothes off in front of someone else but a medical professional. It legitimately makes me want to cry to know that my life turned out like this.

No. 282045

This might seem hypocritical coming from a married woman but I think a lot of you in here put too much stock in relationships. I've been around the block in my 31 years, and honestly the vast majority of relationships - both romantic and sexual - I would not repeat if I had a do-over of my life. Work on yourself, learn new things, exercise, volunteer at a local charity, get hobbies that take you out and about and help you to meet new people. Yeah, you probably won't meet "The One" (bullshit concept anyway) but fuck it, you'll have a richer life and hopefully make some awesome friends along the way. This "forever alone" mindset is toxic. It eats away at your confidence and self-esteem and it's a huge repellent to anyone who might actually want to date you. As my wife loves to tell me when I'm being a miserable dick: you can't truly love someone else until you truly love yourself.

No. 282046

Yeah, I’m aware that dating apps are a trashfire, I just don’t know any alternative, since I don’t live in an accepting environment/country, so I can’t really go to events and try to meet lesbian women naturally or just be very open about my sexuality, because I am a pussy ass bitch that is afraid of being a social outcast.

No. 282050

>This might seem hypocritical coming from a married woman
Yes it does. As someone in a stable relationship it's borderline cruel to tell people who have never experienced being loved romantically and being someone's significant other that "they're not missing out on anything". Looking back now you might think all those past relationships were worth nothing but they all helped you to grow into a person by reflecting on how someone you are emotionally intimate with perceived you. Love and acceptance are one of the basic human needs and without those you barely even feel like a person so to just tell someone to pull up their bootstraps and get busy with confidence and self esteem in a world that is also constantly battering you with bigotry and exploitation sounds almost spiteful.

No. 282102

God I wish, my gf is a butch lesbian who was friends with tons of trannies pre pandemic (more like pre before we dated since lots of those friends were friends of her ex and we moved to a different city this year so she has no contact with them anymore) and she was raised on tumblr so she believes twaw or whatever.. we had recent fights about it because I’m pretty gender critical and well she isn’t unfortunately. I hope In time she peaks or something but I’m unsure since the last time we talked about this she said something about relating to trans woman and that made me want to throw up
Do you mind sharing the zine or website of the radfem you’ve mentioned?? I’d love to read it and maybe someday be able to show it to her

No. 282105

What breaks me is that I've known younger lesbians who have actually gotten opportunities to explore when I was scared and in the closet. Now trying to find someone to date with now as an adult is near impossible.

For real. It's always the ones who have had things fallen into place and don't have the fear that no one will ever find them worthy who act like everyone else who struggles to get a relationship.

No. 282106

File: 1660624372605.jpg (34.16 KB, 570x570, 01565b07e0e1082e94b53f3a80f6c4…)

If I'd wear a butch cowboy outfit in a picture next to a balloon cow, would that inspire you to swipe right on me?

No. 282108

The zine is physical copy only (which might be hard if you live with people and hide your beliefs), but I checked the store and the copies are sold out. But it was created by kittyit on Tumblr, you can send her an ask on Tumblr about if there will be any reprints. It's called "You Told Me You Were Different" and I personally found it sad and insightful. Like I said it has submissions from women with various opinions (there's over 40 of them), some writings use the wrong pronouns like "she" or "they", others don't use any, and others outright say "he", "man", etc.

A lot of my friends who were assaulted by TIMs are still "allies" or tolerant towards transpeople as individuals, but they kind of took a "truscum" type attitude to it (ex. if transgender is a psychological condition where someone wants to change sex, then a man who wants to become female wouldn't be so eager to use his penis) and don't believe in the whole "if you say you're a woman, then you are one" BS anymore. One of my friends told me that she doesn't hate all TIMs, but she will NEVER be friends with a "translesbian" ever again, but is okay with gay TIMs who like men. So it's not mutually exclusive. I don't believe in TWAW either and I don't hate anyone, except rapists, which is why I'm willing to call a spade a spade for things like this.

No. 282111


No. 282114

Dude, are you me? We are in the exact same situation rn, it's crazy. A couple months ago my gf and I had another discussion where we each raised our own viewpoints and I asked her if she'd been doing any of her own research, because I've been good about using real life examples and studies. She said no, because she was afraid of what she'd find. I asked her if she wanted some links to resources and she said yes so I sent her some and we haven't talked about it again. Don't push her too hard anon, I went too hard because I was scared of losing her to this shit and feeling defensive, and I think that made her feel more caught in-between and anxious about the whole thing. Having friends who are actively involved in the cult makes it all worse. I still refer to my old highschool troon friend as she in front of her but I'm going to stop soon because it makes me feel like a hypocrite. Sorry for the huge blog it's just a shitty thing to be involved in. Especially for two young people who were practically 'raised in it'. There's still a sense of guilt and obligation to these people, especially when they used to be close friends who you respected and cared for.
Seconding your recommendation, I've read excerpts and it's strangely comforting to know that you didn't meet the one exception. Makes you feel less crazy.

No. 282116

Thank you for the recommendations! There’s lots of good resources on her blog and I really appreciate your replies
Your gf sounds more open minded than mines, but it does give me hope! Even though it sucks im a little glad to know I’m not alone in this kind of situation

No. 282139

I spent years mourning the death of my first girlfriend, I know what it's like to feel like you'll never find anyone and feeling crushed by loneliness. I pushed so many people away with my "woe is me, I'm all alone" bullshit and enriching my life was what pulled me out of that hole. If you interpret that as spiteful that says more about you than it does me.

No. 282141

Interesting question, I'd like to know too. I was a bit surprised by the reactions to anon's post

No. 282159

Neither my gf nor I would spend more time with anyone else than with each other, period. Sleepovers would never come up, perhaps we're too old. Neither one of us would share a bed with a friend. Tbh if it's leisure time we'd most likely be spending it together, if there are other people with us then there are but one of us would simply not go to a friend's house as an individual and then spend the night there. We do see friends 1 on 1 when we have spare time but not like that.

No. 282183

I doubt you understand the issue here anon… the feeling of loneliness you experience after a breakup or being widowed is way different from never having been loved, especially as a homosexual growing up with homophobia. When you've entered your 30's as a kissless virgin lesbian you have never received actual validation for your sexuality and battle with the intrusive thoughts telling you "maybe they're right and you're actually just straight and should try settling for a man". Even besides that lacking romantic and sexual experiences while the people around you treat them as natural as the air they breathe is soul crushing. Like said, it makes you feel inhumane and broken.

No. 282192

No. 282193

of course someone like you would say this. how could you know what it’s like to want something you’ve never been without…

No. 282202

Would you consider it weird for two inexperienced women to date if there was an age gap? I know it's very creepy for older moids to seek out younger girls for lack of experience, but what if it's two women that are equally inexperienced? Does it still come off as creepy to you? I say this as an (almost) 24 year old that hasn't dated before and I wouldn't be opposed to dating an older woman in early to mid 30s I've had some attractions to women older but I think someone as old as my mom would be very weird for me personally Tbh I think seeking inexperience is only creepy if you're seeking it out as leverage or a 'purity' fantasy

No. 282203

Is 24 and someone in their early 30's really that big of an age gap? It depends a lot on your life situation though, there's a lot of variation between people aged 24-30. A 35-year old moid and a 21-year old woman would ring alarm bells for me but if it's a woman in her mid 20s and a woman in her early to mid 30s it doesn't sound as predatory. I'd be more concerned with that big of an age gap just making you hard to relate to each other than it being an unhealthy power dynamic.

No. 282205

I think it's weird and gross on the older woman's end. Being inexperienced with sex/relationships doesn't make someone an honorary young person or somehow "mentally" immature. I knew women in their 30s who purposely go out with early 20s because "they're inexperienced and need to find someone to match up with that", and that just feels like a BS excuse to live out some age gap fantasy. I missed a lot of "transitory" years of my life (dropped out of college prematurely, was outright fired from my first job and took years for me to get a new one, have never dated because I was forcibly outed once in high school) and struggle with feeling immature, but dating someone more than 2 years younger wigs me out because legal adult teenagers and early 20s look like kids in comparison to a 30 year old. I actually have talked to women in their early-mid 30s who are inexperienced and are too embarrassed to go on apps as a result, so it's not like inexperienced women that are their age don't exist.

No. 282216

24 is too young for a 30something, speaking as someone who is late 20s. It's not just about sexual experience, it's also about life stages and how easy it is to manipulate someone when you know how their brain works at that younger age. I would have too much power over someone who is 24, even in minor ways. The young person tends to inadvertently look up to the older person and that would be something that makes me uncomfortable as the older party, wouldn't be able to trust the younger person to draw healthy enough boundaries when her brain isn't even done developing. If it's casual sex then it's not a huge deal especially if you're both late bloomers or whatever but a fully fledged relationship requires peers imo.

No. 282217

It's also not rare to be an inexperienced 24 year old lesbian, the acceptable range for someone in that age would be 21-possibly 27 which is plenty of women who are also inexperienced or have never been in anything long term. It's mostly the mid 30s I would look down on for seeking someone 5 or more years younger out, it's not "pedo" or grooming obviously since they're both adults, but it comes off as very immature.

No. 282220

at 24 most women are done with undergrad and are starting their careers… plus they probably pay their own rent and can drive. i don’t see how anyone can be manipulated at that point due to their age? you are fully grown.

No. 282222

My thoughts too, I guess if you still haven't figured life out you can feel like a kid at 24 but a lot of them are already starting their careers and can take care of themselves, you're not a child in your mid 20's. When I was 24 I was dating a 28-year old woman and it didn't feel predatory at all and we were completely on the same page (had been living on our own for years, I was almost done with uni and already at my first job etc), I doubt a 30-year old would've been that much different. I'm now 31 and while I personally wouldn't date someone more than 5 years younger, I have to say that if we really clicked and it wasn't me being just a sugar mommy to some NEET who's mentally stuck at 15 (like a lot of those straight Reddit horror story relationships) but more of two grown adults I wouldn't say no to it. It's weird how terminally online zoomers seem to think it's acceptable and normal to be like a teenager when you're well into your 20's.

But like said, it's very situational. If it's a 35-year old picking up lesbians in their early 20's because she's "too immature and inexperienced" it does raise an eyebrow, but I would probably consider her more pathetic than predatory. Unless she's straight out abusing them, that's an entirely another story.

No. 282223

It's about the older partner being immature and going for 5-6+ years younger women over someone their age. 24 isn't a kid, obviously, and they can make their own choices without the "grooming" card being pulled, but the perspective I see it is from the older side. When I was 24 I was absolutely delighted at the thought of dating a mature and responsible woman in her 30s or older, but now that I am that age, the thought of going for a 24 year old instead of someone close to my age is gross as hell to me. Even talking to my younger adult friends in real life who were kids when I was in high school is such a jarring experience because even if we're all adults now.

No. 282243

Anybody got any tips for using Tinder?

No. 282248

anon if they're wigging out over dating more than two years younger I don't think they're gonna listen to reason kek

No. 282283

use tinder to befriend lesbians or bisexuals who will introduce u to their circle… date from that circle

No. 282286

I'll see what I can do …

No. 282295

Glad it helps you feel less alone, I'm sure there are more who have been in this conundrum as well. I'm in this thread a lot, happy to talk anytime

No. 282504

?? I'm just sharing my perspective and personal opinion since the other nonny asked. By all means if she wants to go through with the relationship then just do it, it's not my life.

No. 282983

I just read the newest chapter of that dumb green manga and I'm so over straight people writing lesbian media for titillation. The premise was creepy to begin with but all the lying juts makes me feel like I'm watching Boys don't cry in manga form. And all the straights are so excited by this plotline.

No. 283024

File: 1661154049708.jpg (80.44 KB, 700x587, Aristide Maillol-painting.jpg)

Quick re-write from the another thread but I need to know what other lesbian may think.

When I would have a stable life I would love to have a child with sperm donation but I'm having moral issues toward the child.

How adult treat you and the child is a society issues but interaction with kids is different : A white close friend who I was in school with had a black little brother who was adopted, and multiple time a week for years kid would come and ask her why her brother was black, she would say it was none of their business or I would say stupid lies but those curious small kids would come and ask her because they knew that it was not possible for white parents to make a biological black child. But being adopted was not a choice of the little brother, it was a needed thing due to an incident in his life. Same thing for single parents. But in this situation I make the choice myself for that child to have those question and discomfort weight on him, which could lead him to the same " lies" me and my friend told.

Also I would have the right to make the choice that he would only know where half of his physical and other weird body thing came from, and as someone who has different ethnic trait from my dad and mom I would have much more unresolved body issues if I did not have my whole family to look up to.

sorry for shit english my dyslexia is trought the roof right now

I wish I was a bird sometime

No. 283028

That is just how shoujo/shoujo ai/yuri all other romance genres work unfortunately. Since the main point of the manga is the romantic relationship, authors add a bunch of dumb drama in between characters to move the plot forward. Imo, the only normal lesbian love story we can get is if it is a side plot in another genre, not the whole point of the story. Or keep manga as a one-shot/very short

No. 283081

Hey anon, my wife and I are currently going through the beginning processes of IVF and about to start trying for a baby in the next few months, so I'll give you my thoughts. Yes, the kid will get shit for having lesbian mothers and obviously being the product of a sperm donor or adopted. It's inevitable, kids are great at sniffing out any differences in their classmates and needling away at it. However I think everyone goes through school getting shit and dare I say I think things are getting a bit better with regards to homosexuality, adoption, IVF, etc? Depending on where you live of course. I have three sisters under 11 and when the two older ones realised I only spoke about a girlfriend they quizzed me on why I don't have a boyfriend or a husband instead. I told them I just like women, that people like me are born this way in the same way they just happened to be born with a certain hair colour or eye colour. It clicked for them easily; and that's what I'll be telling my child and any curious friends they might make. If you keep it simple kids really don't care tbh, not unless they come from bigoted parents and they picked up something at home. As for the bullying, well, do any of us truly escape school without at least a little bullying? The main thing is that you have a good relationship with your kid and talk them through these things. I think people tend to think of kids like pets and just baby talk to them, but they're smarter than what we give them credit for. Keep it simple but keep them informed. Let them though that only their character matters, that being a good person is the most important thing to be. The family thing is awkward. It's only natural to wonder about these things, but again I think healthy communication is the only way to navigate these issues. I'm in a mixed race marriage so I understand needing to talk about that kinda stuff, but again I think honesty is key and accepting in advance that your child might want to seek out their biological father. It's a bitter pill to swallow and it breaks my heart I can't have a child naturally with my wife, but if I'm gonna be a worthy parent I have to confront these issues now and get used to them. I can't stick my head in my sand and get upset that my child will want to know things that are completely natural. I know I'm rambling here but basically if you do have a kid just talk to them, normalise being the product of a lesbian marriage and a sperm donor, let them know about the obstacles ahead with regards to other kids and build the foundations of healthy communication. Even if we lived in a perfect world where some crazy scientist could scramble two womens DNA together and make a baby, you would still have to deal with issues regarding bullying and family. Don't let yourself feel ostracised. I know how it feels to be looking at stuff about parenting and all you see is straight couples and it makes you feel unnatural and unholy and like having a child is just too wrong. It's not. The fact you're thinking about these things now means you're probably gonna do a great job as a mother. You'd be surprised how many parents out there are just winging it. I wrote an absolute novel here and it might not make total sense because my head is all over the place with baby talk lately and I'm also ESL and kinda stupid. But if you have any more questions or worries feel free to ask. Stay strong, anon.

No. 283096

ah nonnies. im currently reading animal farm by george orwell to my girlfriend. she speaks english as a second language and studies statistics and does data analysis so it’s a bit of a learning curve reading english fiction by herself but she says it’s a lot easier listening to me reading it. it’s so fun reading to her. anyway i love her so much

No. 283104

True. The Collectors was pretty cute slice of life but it's so long I haven't read any of the chapters since like 2015. I joined the dynastyscans forum to air out my grievances but there's people talking about the rocker girls gender and whether she sees herself as a man and how its ok if she doesn't disclose because she might be trans and it's just oh damn I know 1/2 the commenters on there's are tims lol.

No. 283106

File: 1661182594403.png (1.21 MB, 1148x604, c.png)

(age / 2) + 7

No. 283115

male moment

No. 283199

thank you for your message nonna. it means a lot to me. Sperm donation to lesbian is legal in my country and since this year the kid can know as an adult information about the donor, which reasure me more ngl, that the kid could know if he want, that it is an option.
every thing you wrote is interesting ! I don't have question right now, but I will ask you. I wish the best to you and your wife, you two stay strong

No. 283210

>dumb green manga
what is the name of it ?

No. 283211

THE GUY SHE WAS INTERESTED IN WASN'T A GUY AT ALL (I am not yelling, I just copy-pasted the title and am too lazy to change)

No. 283225

At least the art is nice.

No. 283232

File: 1661269713864.gif (5.09 MB, 640x360, 476e8b454ad2ad5dc36bde58b45240…)

Me accepting I'll die single as the girl I'm dating, who claimed to be a lesbian and totally disgusted by men, suddenly posts "my type of man" videos with the ugliest moids I've ever seen

No. 283248

thanks! I know it's bad but the girl with the glasses is so cute, I think I will read it just for her kek

>who claimed to be a lesbian and totally disgusted by men, suddenly posts "my type of man" videos
jesus, I'm so sorry nonnie, didn't she realise that you would be able to see it ?

No. 283263

>claimed to be a lesbian and totally disgusted by men, suddenly posts "my type of man" videos with the ugliest moids I've ever seen
Many such cases, unfortunately. Used to be a dyke could keep herself insulated from shenanigans by dating other lesbians, but ever since "compulsory heterosexuality" started to become a popular topic of debate there's been a huge uptick in """lesbians""" that are suspiciously invested in moids. A lot will play it off with a jokey, sarcastic tone, but deep down we all know the truth. Sorry you were a victim of one of these women, nonna.

No. 283266

I know this topic has come up so many times in this thread (sorry lol) but when will it end. I got muted I think on a tiktok live where a like 16-20 yr was telling women that nonmen loving nonmen is the new definition of lesbian and words can change over time. These children are supposedly teaching other children this shit. When will being a lesbian not be cool anymore and we can go back to our super small communities with little to no tom foolery from straights and bis.

No. 283267

AYRT, I know how ya feel. The phrase "nonmen loving nonmen" is enough to send me into a blind rage. I can't stand "Sapphic" or "WLW" but good grief, I'd take either of them over that pathetic excuse for a definition. We need to reclaim lesbianism and make it uncool again. I'm doing my part by being extremely boring, proudly butch and openly transphobic. Seriously though, I look back at vintage lesbian stuff and man… I long for a time I never even lived in. I've managed to curate a good circle of chill, older and mostly butch lesbians to hang out with IRL but it took me so long to find them. I wish it was easier for us for be amongst our own kind. No fakers, no comphet bullshit, no prejudice against butches, no drama, just good times. The rebellious underground club that queers think they have is unironically what lesbians and gay men who don't agree with transgenderism have. That's honestly what it feels like to try and socialise with other lesbians in the year of our Lord 2022.

No. 283268

> The rebellious underground club that queers think they have
Piggybacking off of this, I have been looking at local events and noticed Queer movie night that was curated by the local movie festival. In fact all gay-friendly events have been taken and re-named into Queer events. I live in a homophobic country. Imagine thinking you are rebelling against system and smashing the stereotypes or whatever, meanwhile your voices are front and center in every single even slightly alternative event even in homophobic countries. If you are not 100% full pro-trans-neogender-neosexual, you have no place in LGBT events, EVEN IN HOMOPHOBIC COUNTRIES. Baffling. Of course I am not going, since it will only lead to eye-rolling and mingling with ugly straights

No. 283314

File: 1661307385705.png (120.54 KB, 683x730, Screenshot_151.png)

really lazy. can anyone debunk this shit, i feel like it must be fake

No. 283396

File: 1661361633143.jpg (223.82 KB, 1242x1567, FRNMx_ZXMAEhPV6.jpg)

this one

No. 283409

wtf it's so skewed then. How did this even get published or whatever. And idk my first two gfs had issues but maybe that says more about me and the partners I chose instead of these statistics. I think mental health and partners is a very important thing to talk about and lesbians should be able to talk about but then straights and bi's run with it and it becomes lesbians dirty little secret it sucks.

Me too I love being boring! Proud of you for doing your part. Yeah, I'll have to look for a group someday when I have the time. We'll all go back to analog lol. openlibrary.org has so many books written by lesbians I've never seen that many it's sad that our history/commentary of previous generations is being lost.

No. 283443

Why is the percentage for bi women so much higher than the percentage for straight women?

No. 283447

/lg/ be honest with me, do I have the right to be upset at my girlfriend for hanging out with guys that are interested in her?

No. 283449

The sample size of this is so small. White, middle class, and out of the closet? I personally know more lesbians who are poor and most in my area aren't white, whether they're out is 50/50. Let me guess, was this survey taken in a liberal state too?

No. 283450

Yes that is sketchy behavior.

No. 283451

I don't want to be accused of having a moid brain but I find it upsetting, feel like jealousy is consuming my body and I don't like it

No. 283457

I hate being a lesbian where I live. I’m in a very liberal state in the US, where basically everyone is let into lesbian spaces. I’m not talking about just troons, there’s so much more.

I have to deal with he/him lesbians, troonies, non-binary lesbians, bisexual lesbians, neopronouns, all this crazy bullshit

I got kicked out of my local lesbian study group because I refused to call a girl there by her proper pronouns. I can bite my tongue for troonies, I’ll use they/them if only to save face. But the pronouns where nya/nyan. I couldn’t do it. I hate it here. Hell world.

No. 283460

Like one on one or in group settings? Was she in a friend group with these guys and the feelings came out or has she always known and chooses to hang out with them still? I’d consider some other factors before working yourself up.

No. 283465

I'm surrounded by handmadiens, enbees and tifs. And the worst part is this is a specifically female space and always has been so why do you as someone who doesn't identify as a woman get mad when we're all addressed as women when you could easily have gone somewhere that's for all genders. I'm embarrassed by my past handmaiden behavior trying to please them. Like you're a girl, idk what you want from me and I don't care. And if you're not a girl then gtfo. Who goes into a women's space and expects everyone to include them and cater to them. Fucking narcs.

No. 283484

Anyone hanging out with anyone who shows interest is sus behavior. At the very least they're insecure, at most they're either already cheating or keeping "options" around

No. 283486

This has been debunked in like every /lg/ thread here to the point I feel like it's bait. Just backtrack a bit to find them but tl;dr inefficient sample size, outdated research from decades ago with a clear anti-gay agenda, includes violence committed by previous male partners (like >>283396 said), dismisses factors like minority stress.

>How did this even get published or whatever.
Like said, a lot of bogus anti-gay research with an agenda came out at one point.

I'm assuming a lot of the "bi" women in the study are women who were so traumatized by their abusive male partner that they polilezzed out to be in a relationship but with someone who can't physically overpower them.

No. 283510

Do you live In a city? In the west?? I had to deal with the same shit living in seattle I just moved a little south
I’m so sorry it’s really frustrating to have that be the only kind of lesbian support and it’s just a bunch of weirdos trying to claim lesbian
I wish there were more gender critical/radfem lesbian spaces out in the open but it’s hard

No. 283527

DA, I'm not a radfem but I am somewhat gender critical/anti-libfem and trying to navigate LGB"T" spaces with those opinions gets difficult. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with everyone. It kinda sucks how it's assumed that if you're not "woke" then you're either a Log Cabin Republican or a hardcore second-wave feminist. I wish groups that were "apolitical" but still define woman as a female and gay as same-sex as the main rules were easier to find.

No. 283551

ntayrt but yeah I talk to my sister about that sometimes. How political our sexuality is. And how I know all these terms and what's going on in the community when she doesn't understand or get any of it. I don't want to understand or get any of it but it's like osmosis jones just being homosexual.

No. 283611

AYRT, that's relatable. I'm an apolitical person at my core (doesn't mean I don't have my opinions but I never fit either side), and I feel like that combined with being a lesbian makes it more alien. I sometimes think if I was born bi or even a gay guy, finding space where I don't have to self-censor my sexuality or beliefs wouldn't be as big of a deal.

No. 284020

File: 1661678957468.jpg (744.25 KB, 2048x1536, DM6F32-W0AABL_u.jpg)

since she was unfairly insulted in the mtf thread, kaoru mori is one artist that makes me go all ooga booga spongebob caveman, the way she draws women is just to pretty and sensual and she has to be a lesbian, has to.

post your favorite woman art

No. 284021

File: 1661679124777.jpg (323.32 KB, 1519x675, erwerwet.jpg)

No. 284033

I know this is likely a problematic opinion but even if aspects of gay male culture are toxic, I really envy how getting hookups with actual men of the same sex is feasible for a lot of them. TIFs exist on Grindr but at least a man can push off a woman that tries to take advantage of him. I'm not interested in relationships but trying to find an actual woman nearby and not a porn addicted TIM that just wants to do things NSA is a borderline cryptid. At this point I'm consdering risking hitting up some polyamorous bi woman for something as long as her boyfriend is completely left out of it.

No. 284048

This isn’t b8 m8

Is lesbianism a phase?
Whilst being in the closet I heard it thrown around that most girls grow out of it/settle with men in the end- that everyone knows a lesbian who settled down. But I have been the same for…a long time. Always enthralled by the female form, I often saw myself as the prince because princes could marry the princess- I even wore a waistcoat to school once, and asked a girl to marry me (cringeee). And still, at 18, I’m the same. I don’t want to touch men, I don’t feel, like another anon said, ‘OOGABOOGA’ for their bodies, their faces, nothing. Are there some grains of truth in the stereotype? Do some change in the end?>>284020
Dang nonnie that’s hot. Does she write gl?

No. 284051

idk anon do you like skater skirts and striped thigh high socks

No. 284062

nta but the fuck kind of question is this? what does that have to do with anything?

No. 284063

No. 284068

She's calling anon a tranny, anon. It's common for troons to wear spinny uwu skirts and striped thigh high socks

No. 284079

why must we discuss trannies at all times… there are threads for this. i am tired of gender discourse.

No. 284081

went to lunch with my coworker on saturday. she dresses really punk outside of work it's hot. she has acrylics but she also played division i rugby in college. i dont know what to think.

No. 284085

Anon that’s a pretty funny way to call me a transformer but I’m a true and honest woman. Drop your yahoo mail and we can send each other proof lemme see that jpeg lolcussy
Oh yeahh nonnie she sounds perfect and you should definitely go for it

No. 284090

Acrylics and punk sounds like a zoomer. That would be hot if it wasn't what normal people wear today since it's in fashion.

I've never met a lesbian in real life that wears fake nails. Any nonnies met a lesbian with fake nails that wasn't a pillow princess?

No. 284092

maybe she's not dating anyone so she's growing them out? im coping majorly lmao..

No. 284095

good luck nonnie and I'm sorry lol. I'm the same way with artsy and sporty chicks.

No. 284142

Non-troll response from someone who wondered the same at age 18: Those women are bisexual and their preferences changed. Most bi girls I knew flip flopped like that, and they just labeled those phases as "being gay/straight". There isn't any truth to lesbianism specifically being a phase, people are just both homophobic and uncritical of identities and think self-declaration is law. Sexuality is only fluid for bisexuals.

No. 284151

File: 1661732195907.jpg (330.88 KB, 471x600, 20220403_113242.jpg)

I came to see her already went to her house and nothing happened. I couldn't get a word in and she basically told me after she closed the door through text that she cannot talk to me because she has work and game night with her friends. she emphasised that she needs more time and she doesn't know if she wants to break up with me or not.
I sent her my hotel and everything and I don't think that she will come see me at all for any conversation. She is cold but for some reason she told me that I looked nice??
I'm now crying in my hotel room waiting until I go home tomorrow. I do not regret coming though because I learned what type of person she is. I hope I can stop loving her because in my head I pictures her to be my soulmate and I am really gullible and naive ( I realized) especially because it's my first love and all. I feel awful but at the same time I'm happy I came here to make it real and to get some closure. Hopefully whenever I feel sad or love for her I'll remember how she made me feel and what I gave to her when I recieved nothing back.
I really put myself out there and face her with flowers and gifts. I feel dumb but at the same time I feel proud that I was really brave when she just hid herself.
I do feel dumb though for still having hope for tonight looking out the window.

I really hope one day I can find a woman who loves me and we can get married because I just want to love a lady and be loved in return.

No. 284179

break up with her before she does

No. 284194

You deserve that love, and she doesn’t deserve you. If she’s “thinking” about breaking up she’s been thinking about it for a long time. Definitely cut the cord.

No. 284220

I waited the entire night and she didn't come see me. I feel numb now because I cried so much yesterday. I think this lesson in love was very painful and I am scared of trusting people now. I know I'll feel better later but I think I will never ever forget how she made me feel so hurt and used.

No. 284227

>I came to see her
>I couldn't get a word in and she basically told me after she closed the door through text that she cannot talk to me because she has work and game night with her friends
Wow, what a bitch. Wouldn't be surprised she is in a romantic relationship and just treated you as a distraction. You really don't need her and she doesn't deserve any tender feelings, considering how gross and infantile she was towards you.
> I am scared of trusting people now
But I understand you, though in my case it was a friendship. No matter how shitty they were, you still take it personally
before you leave take a shit on her front porch lol

No. 284243

I agree with other anons, you need to move on and not let someone treat you that way. But also I don't think it was normal at all to confront her IRL when you two had never met yet before. That is quite unhinged behavior. She's clearly been trying to break up with you, you should not have showed up at her door at all. Still wish you the best, heartbreak will take time to heal but you're better off with someone else.

No. 284279

Yeah, she told me there isn't anyone else but I don't truly believe her. Something shook her from me, and even though it is ultimately her decision I can't help but think that her new friends influenced her decision. She has always had trouble talking about her emotions and feelings. She retreats and goes away when she is scared /stressed. I thought it was just those times where she needed a gentle push. When I was in her doorway I did not even get a chance to Greet her. I had flowers and doughnuts in hand. I also was not pushy. All I wanted was to spend time with her.

Thank you for your best wishes. This is my first relationship and it was very long, also I have hard a rough months with so many things happening to me as well as close deaths. I think that made me spiral into a place that I thought the only thing to regain control was doing something like this. I also believed she loved me whole heartedly because she even said things to me like she was working hard for us and our future. We had plans to live together, so I thought I had to help her. I'll be smarter in the future though and I'll reflect on my actions. I will never do something like this again for someone because I have been burned very badly.

No. 284322

File: 1661797532657.png (5.67 KB, 253x243, 1597816479079.png)

During a conversation at lunch today this bi girl I was talking to just nonchalantly called herself a dyke while simultaneously talking about dating moids. Even funnier, gushing over the guys she's currently dating and how he's soo good because he "can actually express his emotions" and because he's "queer". Couldn't help but laugh to myself after that. What's your opinion on non-lesbians calling themselves dykes and other typically lesbian words? Personally, hearing it in that context was the closest I've ever come to being offended by that word lol

No. 284356

Since I don't really believe in policing language, I don't care if non-lesbians call themselves dyke, butch/femme, etc., as long as they use the term correctly, and are dating or looking to date women. (I definitely prefer it to ""queer"" which I seriously hope will just die out.) It's just too embarrassing when they're still involved with men. You're stronger than me anon, I would've laughed in your coworkers face.

No. 284361

i honestly prefer the company of het women over bi women at this point lmao

No. 284362

she was never invested in the first place, and you need to realize that. tell her to fuck off and block.

No. 284363

anon im sorry to tell you this but you are retarded… why would you expect anything else from an exclusively online, one-sided "relationship". it was never real to begin with.

i would suggest that you get off the internet and join a rugby league or a hiking group

No. 284364

It's slowly becoming the same for me as well. And I'm so tired of having to pretend to care about their Nigels and all the shit they have to put up with for dating moids, because I think they forget that I can not and never will relate.

No. 284377

With het women at least you don't have to validate their flimsy queerness. That being said I only make friends with lesbians nowadays.

No. 284380

Fuck where do you even find lesbian communities? Everyone in my city and age range (20) are either kweerio bihet handmaidens or genderspecials. I hate it here

No. 284382

Same. At least they understand being attracted to only one sex and don't try to hit you with that "sexual fluidity" shit. Ironically enough I've found that (in my experience at least) het women are way less likely to talk about their Nigels, and when they do they can acknowledge his flaws and are aware he's not the best man on the planet. Bi women just love telling you about their cutesy wutesy golden retriever bf who is so in touch with his feelings because this one time he admitted to being sad and he's so fruity and queer for loving a woman with a pixie cut and she/they in her Twitter bio.

No. 284385

>At least they understand being attracted to only one sex and don't try to hit you with that "sexual fluidity" shit
You hit the nail right on the head anon. Had a bi girl say to my face that everyone is "at least a little bi" right after I told her I was gay. Also the gushing about golden retriever boyfriends rings true for every bi woman I've met. Is it coping for being stuck in a relationship with a moid or what?

No. 284404

blogpost but today I had some errands to run and saw a couple women that pinged my radar and it was just like sigh, I love being a lesbian. The world is my oyster and I can't wait to find the one someday.

No. 284446

I love this energy, I feel the same way!

No. 284448

I half-agree. The bar is so low that I see as similar to bisexuals casually using the word gay. Like if you say "gay" in the context of your same-sex attraction, but don't label your sexuality that way overall, no big deal. But saying "I'm so gay" while having a boyfriend is so insulting, same with how some bi women call themselves dykes while dating men, because I've been sexually harassed and called that because I DON'T.

If a bi woman was a Febfem or at least in a long-term relationship with a woman and has been called a dyke (since bigots don't care if the slur they say is "accurate", I've been called the f word before), I'd have less qualms with them using the word (same with labels like butch/femme, "bi femme with a boyfriend" makes no sense), but on the other hand all the Febfems I've talked to told me "dyke" isn't theirs to reclaim even if they were called it.

Same. The ones I know IRL are mostly tolerant of LGB people, but it's not their business, so they don't have any opinions besides homophobia being cruel. Meanwhile, bi women who primarily date men and still involve themselves in "the community" won't shut up over their hot takes and how their straight boyfriend doesn't make their relationship less "queer"

No. 284512

Can't stand life anymore. I've grown into such a bitter woman within the past three years and I am only 22. Every girl I have ever liked rejected me, every job in my field I have ever wanted rejected me, every school I ever wanted to attend rejected me. Swim team, diving team, rugby team. Everything. It's as if the cosmos are begging me to rope and I won't take the hint.

I feel like I shouldn't exist. Like I should have been left in a wild place to die of exposure as an infant or something. Is all of this misery really worth the occasional moments of joy in my life?

No. 284520

File: 1661897326104.jpg (48.18 KB, 896x896, FU3p6PDXsAAmfsD.jpg)

Manifesting this girl falling in love with me and asking me out. We have a bunch of things in common and I'm trying not to be too hopeful about her since I don't want to jump the gun, but I'm optimistic. It's been a few years since I've been in a relationship, and I think I'm ready for one now.

No. 284530

What's a subtle-but-not-so-subtle way of asking a woman if she's into women? I see cute girls all the time that are my type but I never have the courage to ask if she's lesbian/bi, let alone tell her I am. I make the assumption that 90% of the women I see are straight, even more probably already taken. It's like I don't even have the energy to put into crushes if I'm just going to be disappointed…

No. 284541

I think it would be useful if there was some easy way to differentiate between same sex leaning bi women and opposite sex leaning bi women. Of course there's women who are febfems but I've already seen woketards associating that with being a terf and having stupid bios like "femfems DNI". Maybe I'm the minority here but I do really wish there could be more genuine LB solidarity for those with a same sex lean. I think we need it now more than ever.

Why don't you ask her out?

No. 284550

I do too. There's the kinsey scale, I guess, but it would be kind of awkward to use a number for your sexuality, and a lot of opposite sex-leaning bisexuals tend to be defensive about that. Febfem as a label is associated with being a radfem, which might put off SSA-leaning women with different opinions. I wish organizations like the LGB Alliance weren't cringey since I'd love something like that.

No. 284575

i wish i could say ive met bisexuals with a same sex lean. they always tell me they do but their boyfriend to girlfriend ratio is like 8:1

No. 284578

Is there such a thing as lesbians not attracted to short hair, on themselves or their partners?

No. 284582

I knew a bi girl who only had serious relationships with women and hooked up with both genders. I don't know if that counts as a same sex lean, but at least with a girl like that you know she won't leave you for a man?

No. 284596

First off, you need to get off of online places like lolcow, farms and chans because that shit is toxic af and everyone is bitter and retarded, so all you do is soak up more negative energy. Also, if it is hard for you function, think about going to medical specialist.
Second, I think this is you being hit with the realities with real adult world -
>every job in my field I have ever wanted rejected me
That is how it is for everyone, unless you are a nepotism hire. You may have been the smart kid in school (like me), which lead you to believe that getting special treatment and offered opportunities will be just as easy post-school, but the school lied to you. Getting an internship was hell, I was rejected from everywhere and had to take up a job that literally hires anyone that breathes. My class friends, who had even better grades, ended up in jobs where all they did is get exploited and paid minimum wage for a year. Unfortunately, that is how adult life works. You are young, and the path to the first normal job is a shitty one. It is a numbers game.
>every school I ever wanted to attend rejected me
Similar to above. I have known extremely smart kids getting rejected from top schools. You don't know what is in the admission council's heads and, frankly, you don't know the criteria they adhere to. Maybe they were looking for completely different people, maybe those kids were better at presenting themselves etc etc.
>It's as if the cosmos are begging me to rope and I won't take the hint
The world might be chewing me up and shitting me out, but I'm built like a piece of corn.

I know what it is like to be depresssed, I lost my teens to severe depression and sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is pure spite.
I feel like you were one of the smart or talented kids in school, which is why it is so hard to adjust to the realities now, where no one gives a shit about how bright you are - you are just a drop in the ocean, and you have to wade through tons of shit just like everyone else. I know what it is like to feel like life is not worth living, like everything I go through is not worth for a tiny bit of joy somewhere in the future, but the reality is that maybe I am the one with unrealistic expectations. Maybe life isn't this amazing adventure packed with unforgettable moments at every turn. Maybe life is not going to be like in the movies or books. But you can still find joy, you can learn to find joy in prosaic small things.
My advice - try out new things and do them for a while, you never know what will bring you joy. Find solo activities, so you don't have to deal with rejection or judgement. Think about personal goals you want to achieve (and can achieve solely on your own like habits or fitness) and work towards them! Seriously, start with 5 minutes every day and keep the streak as long as possible. Then do more. You think it is stupid, I thought it was stupid too, but after doing it for a while, you will start to see that you yourself can build the life you want, that if you want something, you can go towards it, you can grow into a person you want to be. You become your own RPG character lol. I KNOW, rn you will roll your eyes and think this is some bs "clean your room" advice, but honestly? It works.
I hope some of this long fucking post helped you.

No. 284602

i was living with my girlfriend for a while and now i’m temporarily living with my parents again. (will be with my girlfriend again in about two months if everything goes to plan. ldrs are hard) anyway it’s so depressing being at home again. my parents don’t exactly support our relationship or her and it’s weird how when i came home they didn’t ask after and they get quiet when i bring her up. it’s just so shitty and i miss her so much

No. 284621

You have to be kidding. Most representation of lesbians in media is long haired, gender conforming women covered in makeup dating other long haired, gender conforming women covered in makeup. The fact you have to ask this, as if us nasty butch dykes are gonna tell you off for being normal and having preferences makes me think this is bait, but here's your good faith answer: Yes, women - even lesbians! - can have preferences for different things.

No. 284638

thank you this did help

No. 284662

i mean…yes? all kinds of lesbians exist. this is such a weird question, i can't tell if it's just a troll/outsider asking stupid questions or a nonny describing herself to seek validation for an arguably harmless preference

No. 284685

But is that representation actually representative, or is it male gaze?

No. 284689

Good point, it's absolutely male gaze but I'm ESL and didn't know how else to phrase that. What I mean is that from a societal standpoint, it's more encouraged to be gender conforming and also attracted to gender conforming women. It's like how masc gay guys who pass as straight are more tolerated in society. It's usually lesbians asking if it's ok to like butches because they got psyop'd into thinking it's toxic masculinity and emulating heterosexuality if they're femme. It just seemed utterly absurd to me that someone was asking such a thing, but maybe she's just young and confused. I probably said some silly things when I was a baby gay too.

No. 284690

I am her. I am just wondering if this preference is rare or looked down upon by the lesbian community. I was afraid it might be seen as shallow or like you said, brainwashing by society of what women are supposed to look like, or even indicative if women who aren’t real lesbians parroting male gaze? But you and the other anon say that it’s silly to worry about, so that’s reassuring.

No. 284703

New lesbian hang out group was going well, all cis lesbians. A couple she/they but I don’t get too hung up on that bc they don’t care about she/her pronouns and they’re still women …tell me why this bitch asked me to refer to her as kitty. Not as a nickname, as a pronoun. I would have to say “Kitty didn’t like the drink for kittyself, but it was okay for everyone else.”

I fucking hate California gay scenes.

No. 284704

I have preferences that might be seen as shallow, but the average lesbian doesn't care as long as you aren't insulting women you're not attracted to or women with different preferences. Not all lesbians are hardcore fun-hating feminists, either, while a lot of actual spaces online tend to be conflated with being a radfem, I'm personally not one.

No. 284707

too little lesbians are fun-hating feminists. There needs to be more!

That's one thing I'm so glad I grew out of when I was a baby gay. All the stupid labels/ having types/ dressing a specific way to be seen a specific way and pronouncing to the world that you're femme or a lipstick lesbian like you want an award for it or something. I'm actually ok with butches telling the world because they do have a very different life and idk might sound corny but deserve to be respected. And it's so cringe to see an older women say they only top or bottom everyone should be pleasured lol. Fuck the no labels don't believe in boxes rhetoric straights and bi's say but I think it's a little damaging having it in our communities and the baby gays constantly asking if what they are doing is ok or not or if they look gay enough or not.

No. 284708

Be careful I saw a post floating around online that one woman got kicked out a a woman's group because she didn't use a woman's neo pronouns. It was like a foreshadowing to you and you're lesbian group, you're welcome for being warned.

It's nice you have a group though. I live in California boonies and all their is is Juggalo looking bi's that call themself lesbians and older partnered women they don't want any lesbian friends because of possible drama. I don't want to date you I just want to be friends.

No. 284718

I'm just sick of politics, honestly, and obviously libfems are worse and I agree with radfems on more things, but even radfem lesbian spaces are full of weird micro-managing and policing of preferences and harmless sex lives. I do think babygays get too hung up on labels and wanting to be validated though, it's like the sexuality version of trans. Announcing you're femme4femme or chapstick only makes sense in dating spaces. Sex positions are a different story though, people make that into a label and that's annoying, but even if I don't announce how I do things, I still have a lot of boundaries and preferences for what I like due to bad experiences.

No. 284727

Majority of lesbians in the west are femme4femme, so it sounds pretty silly. Butches are rare, nvm anyone into that, due to by other nonnie aforementioned representation issues and societal pressure to be gender conforming and only date other genderconforming people. 99% of people think you're normal and maybe 1% just thinks you're asking silly questions. You're not shallow for your preferences, just weird for not noticing how you're literally the norm.

No. 284744

Does anyone else have a hard time clocking troons? I think I'm mildly faceblind or something because I'm bad with faces and recognizing people in general. Dating apps freak me out because I'm scared I'll accidentally meet up with one. I'm better at clocking them IRL because it's easier to see their body shape but static faces are impossible for me.

No. 284751

AYRT, there's nothing wrong with not liking short hair on you or other women. Like >>284727 said you're the norm. Don't worry about it, anon. It doesn't sound like you're prejudiced against butches or women who have short hair. You just have your preferences when it comes to attraction like we all do. I'm a butch with short hair and I don't look down on you or any other lesbian who isn't into me. We're not troons, we acknowledge that most people have a "type" and it doesn't offend us if that type doesn't include us.

No. 284768

I'm going to an actual lesbian mixer via invite from my kickball team. I'm excited because it doesn't label itself as "queer" or "lgbt-whatever". There's also little to no info on it online. I have some hope that it won't attract a bunch of tims, genderspecials, whoever. Honesty joining a woman's sports team was an amazing decision. I finally found lesbians :')

No. 284775

Ugh please be there when I go back, I just wanna hang with regular lesbians.

No. 284776

File: 1662053515197.jpeg (99.92 KB, 805x960, 131AF206-5E81-4414-861D-EFEAE7…)

So happy for you!

No. 284778

That actually sounds very hopeful! I met a bunch of other lesbians via football (s*ccer if you're American I guess), boxing and MMA. Sports are by far one of the best ways to meet other lesbians, sometimes the stereotypes are correct, lol. The kind of groups/events that are spread via word of mouth, don't mention the dreaded Q word and have no presence online are always the best ones. Hope you have a good time, nonna!

No. 284811

File: 1662063329157.jpg (40.84 KB, 540x396, 4568359.jpg)

The local queer community is so goddamn small. tfw no tomboy gf

No. 284886

Any weebs watch this anime? This is one of my favorites for the sole reason that the main protag was a gnc lesbian. Forget how her lover was an alien clone of her.

No. 284904

Holy shit, radblr based "lesbian only" discords are all cancer aren't they?

No. 284905

I don’t know much about them, but I’ve read about drama based around “male-attracted only” radblr discords, that allegedly only shit on lesbians and talk about how predatory and disgusting we are. Knowing how straight rads are, I am inclined to believe

No. 284906

Ohhhh yes. I have many a horror story from the few months I spent in them and heard a lot of horror stories from other people about them. One of my favourites is menalez, famed for her "I swear my DD/lg phase was just comphet!!!" schtick having a MTF in her server for literal months and not realising. Top fucking kek. Honestly, radblr is cancer anyway. It's just as cliquey as troon circles and I got sick of the Mean Girls shit. As a butch I was either treated like a piece of meat at best or a moidlike creature at worst. Also like >>284905 said the straight radfems are awful.

No. 284908

Ah shit, I am on her server right now. Will leave in a couple weeks, just to be stealthy. Thank fuck I did not post anything relating to my life on there wtf! She asks for selfie verification and still didn't clock a tranny? I did get bi in denial vibes from a huge amount of the women on there though while lurking so I guess I should have seen it coming. Some people were saying talking about bisexuals was sort of banned, I guess the admin is the reason.

There are a ton of butch larpers on these kinds of servers it seems as well.

No. 284909

I'm disinclined to believe shit talking like that. Remember that anonymous radblr confession blog that was run by an autist who couldn't tell when she was obviously being trolled and spread a ton of inflammatory gossip?

No. 284912

>I did get bi in denial vibes from a huge amount of the women
If you gan around radblr for a long enough time, you will see bunch of "hardcore lesbians" come out with such wonderful takes as
> born this way is not real and female sexuality is influenced by patriarchy
and eventually many of them come out as bisexual. You get those vibes because they are bis ashamed of their sexuality. Actual lesbians are an absolute minority; a lot of them don't even hang out on radfem side anymore because of all the homophobic bs. i am personally way better off after I stopped reading their takes and am less ashamed of my sexuality.
To be fair, for a terminally online bunch, radfems take troll bait like some facebook mom. I remember when the entire community was in flames over that iamxuenyang (?) girl lol. But personally I believe that, because I've seen some appalling shit come from hets on tumblr (unforch no screenshots), so I don't doubt that in private chats they go full retard.

No. 284913

Menalez is annoying and a bad friend, I recently cut her off and I'm glad I did. Would not surprise me if she's posting stuff about herself here as she's obsessed with drama and very typically bpd.

No. 284914

AYRT, yeah the selfie verification is just the icing on the cake of the MTF story, kek. Her whole circle radiate bi in denial vibes, it's like a weird polilez cult formed around her, and like >>284912 said you hear a lot of dogshit takes from these types.

Not at all surprising. I badmouthed her in a server once and some tryhard who was desperate to be her friend told her and then she liked a very old post on my blog and then unliked it, I assume it was a slip of the hand while she was trying to find dirt on me, kek. She's so terminally online but isn't she meant to be a student with a gf? How the fuck does she find the time? She's like the ghost of radblr, an omnipresent force that's always there and telling you you're a bad feminist. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if she self-posts here too, but I don't care if she reads this as I've cut ties with everyone from radblr. I'm too damn old for internet drama and actually have a life offline.

No. 284918

Oddly enough I've not run into anyone on the discords who will admit to being a farmer. I've had a feeling about a bunch of them but they'll never own up for some reason. This place isn't even controversial considering radblr says the exact same shit we do here about troons, not sure why they pretend they're not farmers.

No. 284922

As unhinged & annoying she is, the anons sending her tips about x user being racist/nazi/liking edgy memes/etc so she can sic her hounds on some 100 follower noname & add the username to that lame blocklist are even more pathetic. It is like KGB, except they get nothing out of it

No. 284927

This site was founded to take the piss out of (mostly) women. Of course they'll never admit to being farmers. Idk how radblr is now but when I was there it was all about being a "nicefem" and anyone who snapped at the constant threats of rape and violence was just as bad as those who threaten that. I couldn't handle it and I often ruffled the feathers of my mutuals for being a big meanie. Fucking girl scouts.

Yeah she has a really rabid army of snitches. It's fucked up to think how many of them there are lurking in the shadows and waiting for you to reblog a wojak or say ~ the t slur ~ kek. It amuses me to no end that she and a lot of other radfems are against saying tranny. With what troons say about us, saying tranny or troon is polite by comparison.

No. 284929

Okay, so that is what the t-slur rule is about. For some reason they don't let you say tranny on most of these discords and I could not figure out why… Some let you say troon or tran but not tranny. It boggles the mind.

No. 284941

>radfems take troll bait like some facebook mom
This is why I only lasted about two weeks on radblr lol. It's exhausting. The 'nazis' like apostle-of-sappho or whoever else it is now would disappear overnight if everyone ignored them. But no instead lets write daily callout posts and doxx anyone who accidentally reblogs from a Forbidden User. Half the nazis on radblr are probably Menalez and other deranged BPDs on sockpuppets.

It's a shame because I liked some parts of Radblr. I just wish it were possible to have sane internet communities again. Everything is eventually invaded and dominated by the internet moral police. Sometimes I'm tempted to apply for a lesbian discord but jesus fuck everyone who runs them is insane and I'm not trusting them with whatever personal details they need to verify I'm female.

No. 284946


that great ! I wonder if there is also lesbians sport supporter group ( I love sport but I'm build bad )

No. 284947

Thank you all anons ITT for inadvertently talking me out of joining radblr, holy shit. I guess tumblr wouldn't be tumblr without insane cults of personality and overblown callout posts over nothing, regardless of what side you're on.

No. 284952

DA when radfems say their community is the only safe space for lesbians, it's a lie. It's full of polilez and a different kind of lesbophobia than the conservative or TRA kind, it's tiring. I hate how being a real lesbian that doesn't believe in trans/libfem nonsense is conflated with being a radfem because second wave feminism is a very specific worldview. And I think most women on radblr or Discord know that, before I deleted my radblr there was constant arguing among if it was feminist to wear makeup sometimes or use strap-ons or still believe in religion to cope, it was clear most women on there only agreed that TIMs aren't women, lesbians don't like dick, and porn addiction is harmful, but weren't radfems otherwise, but it was the only place that would accept those views.

No. 284967

KEK. You're welcome, anon. I'm glad you didn't join! It's not worth it, trust me. You're absolutely right about how it's still tumblr. As much as radblr acts like the cool, underground part of tumblr, it still follows the same patterns of cliques, big name bloggers who get their asses kissed for stating that water's wet, drama, backstabbing and callout posts. If I ever do rejoin tumblr it would be purely for my hobbies, absolutely zero politics allowed and a blacklist that's a mile long to make sure it stays that way.

NTA but you're completely right. As a butch lesbian who was at the time trying to manage dysphoria and internalised homophobia, I felt actively worse on radblr. Not only am I a nasty dyke who oppresses any woman with a Nigel by simply breathing, but I'm also a toxic masculine predator. Ironically there's quite a few FTMs on the fringes of radblr and big users like menahet- sorry, menalez treat them like pets to show everyone how nice and accepting they are… even though said troons are absolute fucking demons and no better than the libfem kind. Thing is I was only ever rad leaning, but there's not many spaces for women like us online. Or offline for that matter. As awful as this place can be with the psychotic moids spamming CP and gore, the kiwifags, the infighting, etc, at least I can speak my mind here. You do get the odd user try to police you for something like using the word "bitch" or the ones who expect newly peaked women to drop the queer lingo in a day and immediately adjust, but hey, I can just call them a retard and tell them to fuck off. If I did that on radblr I'd be listed as an ableist on the naughty list, kek.

No. 284977

>Thing is I was only ever rad leaning, but there's not many spaces for women like us online. … at least I can speak my mind here
I relate, although it honestly sucks because I don't agree with either side, but only having an anonymous place to talk about either my beliefs, my sexuality, or my hobbies is kinda crazy-making cuz it feels like I'm living a double or triple life. The LGB spaces I'm in don't know about my beliefs or that I'm 100% vagina-only, the political spaces where I'm open about my beliefs don't know about my hobbies or contrary opinions, I've completely given up on being into fandoms like I was in highschool before the gender madness for obvious reasons, and I keep my opinions to myself on social media where I post my artwork/stories, there isn't really a space I can fully be myself and open. I honestly don't care if someone disagrees with my opinions, as long as I can just be who I am without getting witch hunted for thought crimes (I lost friends on both sides), as long as we can just tolerate each other, but it's like the libfems/queers get mad at me over one thing and the radical feminists/leftists are equally mad over another.

No. 284981

I just heard the term “comphet” for the first time, but I can’t find a solid definition for it.

Some places say it’s when a lesbian says they like men bc that’s what they’re taught to say when they think a man is okay looking. Other places say it’s when a lesbian would never fuck a man irl, but still simps for anime men.

I keep getting mixed answers from irl lesbians cause I live in a very leftist area. Does anyone here know what it means?

No. 284986

Comphet is a bullshit idea perpetuated by bisexuals who hate being bi. It does not exist.

No. 284987

The original essay about compulsory heterosexuality was about how there's a social pressure for all women to prioritize men in their life, regardless of sexuality. It's been a long time since I read it, but I thought it made sense, even if it was written by a political lesbian (a stopped clock is right twice a day). A lot of the straight and bi women in my life, no matter how headstrong and independent, would throw that away just for a guy, and a lot of lesbians I knew, including me, automatically assumed we were straight despite not being attracted to men, since it's expected in society for women to be accessories to men.

However, the social media meaning of "comphet" is the opposite. I notice a lot of women who say they're "lesbians with comphet" and simp for anime boys instead or whatever are bisexuals who are ashamed of liking men, so they blame that on society and not their trauma. The concept of a "comphet crush" where you're a lesbian but "society" is putting a gun to your head and making you starry eyed over a male celebrity makes no sense. A lot of lesbians I know talk about how forcing themselves to like guys felt fake, but they lied to fit in (I did this too, I once pretended to agree when one of my straight friends showed me a picture of her boyfriend, and could tell I was lying through my teeth lmao), but meanwhile when I see these girls say they're lesbians but squee over kpop boys, it seems like they're just trying to fit in because being bisexual isn't "cool" anymore.

No. 284990


That makes sense. I definitely felt the first definition before, where I felt forced to “like men” because it was what I was taught all my life. I was raised to be a housewife to a man one day, so men are obviously what I was “told” to be attracted to. I didn’t even find out that lesbians existed until I was in my teens, so I’ve been coerced into relationships by men before I knew. I’ve definitely said that I’m attracted to fictional men, mostly because I like the character, and growing up, I was taught that “liking” a man in any way means that I’m attracted to him. In reality, I just think they’re a decent character with zero sexual attraction at all. That’s the comphet that I think I had in my younger years.

>If this is leftist brain washing I’m spewing, pls let me know, bc that’s the space I live in and the information I was taught.

But the second one definitely sounds like glorified bisexuality. Using the “gun to head” analogy was a really good choice of words on your part, because you explained it in a very visible way. Some women in certain places DO have the gun against their head, telling them that if they don’t like men, they will die. But for internal monologue, society isn’t holding a gun to someone’s head to make them go heart eyes over a man. That makes no sense.

Thanks for taking the time to explain!

No. 284991

AYRT, I understand. Like I said I do speak my mind here but I know with some things it's just not worth it. Like religion; I grew up in a strict religious environment, hated it, but found myself needing a religion to cope. I converted to another one and consider myself semi-religious now, but I don't discuss it here much anymore for obvious reasons. Same with a few of my political opinions, some might seem contrarian and honestly, they probably are. Yeah it's anonymous but I don't wanna argue about it. It took me so long to unpack the social pressure from both sides and find my true beliefs, and at the grand old age of 31 I'm too fuckin' old for this shit! So yeah, this is nice void to shout into. It's just wise to not go shouting about everything that crosses your mind lol. Fandom shit kills me though because I'm an autist and would love to have somewhere to sperg about my fixations without seeing any political shit. Oldfag moment but back in my day a fandom account was for fandom ONLY. God I hate how that sounds so obvious but it's so different now. Thankfully I have a wonderful wife who shares some of my interests and the rest of the time I just type up my silly little observations and theories on WordPad and keep them for myself. I also started writing game guides in notebooks and illustrating them for when my little sisters are old enough to play, and hopefully one day my kids. I really want to encourage offline stuff for them so they don't get caught up in the same shit I did.

No. 284995

God, that sounds amazing. I feel like if I had one close friend or partner that I could see eye-to-eye with or at least agree-to-disagree, I'd feel a lot less alone. I don't keep any of my opinions a tight secret, if anyone asked me about it, I'd just tell them, but I'd had people on both sides get angry with me for not 100% agreeing with them and drop me when we were otherwise cool, it makes me paranoid of everyone. I walk on eggshells with most of the people I talk to in any space I'm in, and it's frustrating.

I'm trying to get back into fandom too since I'm an autist, and it was always a fun, creative, escape from life, and one time in a server I joined people randomly started talking about "TERFs" and it's like, well, I'm not a radfem, so I would be in the clear, but I don't think "transwomen" are women either or "sex work is work" or other libfem slogans, so it's like I'm crucified either way. But then the radfem fandom people get mad because I enjoy fiction that isn't 100% wholesome, but not to the degree the weird proshippers do. Sometimes I just want to simp over my favorite female characters without people shoving their porn addiction in my face or asking if I'm being inclusive of their version where she's a man.

No. 284998

Yeah, having a wife I can discuss these things with is amazing, I'm very lucky. We do agree on most things, but with some we don't. It's civil though and it spurs a lot of discussions and observations about how our different backgrounds and upbringings has moulded us into the people we are today. It's honestly made me a better, more thoughtful person. My last ex was a rabid libfem who disagreed with nearly everything I believe. At first we were more similar but she grew more liberal and I grew more conservative (I don't consider myself a conservative but I am labelled one by some people who are pretty far left). We did agree to disagree but eventually she just threw that aside to call me out for thoughtcrimes against troons. She was also bisexual and made me feel really weird about my masculinity and caused my dysphoria to spiral. It was just a very messy relationship towards the end. Some of the older lesbian couples I know are like chalk and cheese, but they acknowledge each others right to think differently. That is a rare thing these days. It makes dating so much worse; as if lesbian dating wasn't hard enough to begin with. God, I don't get the policing of fiction. As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict I do have some cringe fanfics on my hard drive where I've projected like a lighthouse onto characters from media or sometimes characters I made for RPGs just to get the thoughts out of my head. It's very cathartic. The irony of the fact that the people who would dislike these fics are the type of people that would write or promote fics that include homophobic re-writes of gay couples to include a tranny is not lost on me. Absolutely depressing state of affairs. Anyway, I'm off to bed. Really enjoyed talking with someone so likeminded! Take care, nonna. ♥

No. 285002

Indian women are amazing lesbians and friends

No. 285015

What are some genuinely good radblr or radtwt accounts to follow or just read? I don't have my own accounts because I'd worry too much about being doxxed or my libfem friends finding out somehow but I'm interested which ones you nonnas think are the best

No. 285032

Depends on what you mean by "good", like if they have good political info or are just interesting people, and I assume they have to be lesbians too since this is the lesbian thread? I'm not a radfem but I still read Kittyit's blog on Tumblr and have a lot of respect for her and her writing, her girlfriend's book called Detransition Before and After is also an interesting "modern" feminism book.

No. 285056

Not totally related but I found interesting when you talked about girls who squee over kpop boys, is that it's much more frowned upon to publicly simp on girl, maybe because there is a majority of male attracted female in kpop fandom. I never saw people going even a 1/10 of the horniness on female group member and such.

No. 285079

grow up and start prioritizing your happiness over the opinions of other people

No. 285100

Nice try at racebaiting but literally nobody has said otherwise. As far as I know I'm not the only non-white lesbian here and I've never witnessed any racism in this thread.

No. 285103

I think she was trying to celebrate them anon… Relax.

No. 285104

The sheer amount of bait - most of which is racebait - on this site makes me doubt posts like that when they come out of nowhere. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt though. She's probably quite young and new to this place.

No. 285106

it's a thing in fandoms generally, people are always more open towards how they feel about the men. when it comes to real people like musicians and celebs, i'd understand, but even in media fandoms where it's completely fictional and have no feelings there's a hesitancy towards female characters because it gets concern trolled as objectifying or secretly being a scrote. even i get hesitant to be as unhinged as my bi friends are about their male faves for some reasons

No. 285118

File: 1662212623344.jpeg (28.96 KB, 1024x914, notthis.jpeg)

Male attraction also gets concern trolled about but people do it regardless. People are inventing reasons not to express their attraction to women, it's stupid. "12-year-olds on Tumblr told me I can't simp for kpop girl #981748235 so I'm comphet." Please.

No. 285130

Yeah, I was commenting on the phenomenon itself of everyone being more open about enthusiastic attraction towards males, divorced from the "comphet" BS. I personally keep it to myself due to internalized homophobia (although I'm learning to break out of it), but it shows a lot of women are bisexual since they think the answer is simping over anime/kpop/celeb boys instead and say it's comphet haunting them like some ghost.

No. 285132

NTA, but sometimes I wish I had lesbian and bi friends who were just as "pervy"? or "simpy" as me, so we could just openly talk. Or maybe they think the same thing as me and already are. Just in this age with problematic this, problematic that and basically being expected to pretend to be asexual to not be seen as threatening or evil, I'm not sure whether I'll ever be the first one to take that step towards not self censoring.

No. 285136

I find it's only offline I can talk about sex openly with other lesbians. Online there is so much sexuality policing it's unreal, even in this fucking thread anons get called scrotes for it which is ridiculous given how obvious AGPs are when they try being "sneaky" about it here. I'm starting to think the users who call anons scrotes or predatory or whatever for expressing their attraction and discussing aspects of their sex life are either virgins who have never had a healthy discussion about sex, or are battling internalised homophobia and jump to labelling our sexuality as something filthy, something wrong (guess it's easier to call someone a moid than address what's eating up your insides). I don't mean any of this in a harsh way, but some of you really need to hear how dykes talk in real life. None of this "um, nonny you literally just said you enjoyed tits like they're just OBJECTS for YOUR GRATIFICATION!" like I promise you it's ok to express your sexuality! Healthy even! I grew up very religious and I shamed and repressed myself so much that it really fucked me up and made me hate myself to the point of wanting to rope. Had I been able to just say "yeah, women are sexy" some place without being judged for it, it would've saved me a lot of turmoil.

No. 285151

Most lesbians my age who I've been around won't talk about anything slightly sexual, without also claiming they're asexual. The online brainrot has infiltrated irl.

No. 285176

This thread and online spaces in general have a really high number of virgins it seems, by the way they react to any sex talk.

No. 285181

Yeah, you youngfags got it worst. It seems most young Millennial/Zoomer kids can't discuss anything without debating it and politicising it. Then there's this shit about asexuality. At least I had some time online and offline before the brainrot hit peak retardation. Although I do know some people my age (31) and even older who adopt the opinions of the younger generation wrt sex and sexuality. It's embarrassing to watch. I can forgive someone who's like, 21/22ish for being a dumbass because I've been there, done that and got the t-shirt. But when you're over 30 and spouting that shit? Dude. Log off.

It's like sex talk is either disgusting and pornified or prudish and shameful. No middle ground. When it comes to lesbians it's usually the latter and I blame a lot of it on that "wlw" shit. Hand holding this, hair braiding that. Writing love poems and baking her bread. Rearing sheep and dressing like you're Amish. Go eat some fucking pussy instead, nerds.

No. 285191

Same, I feel like having same-sex attracted female friends I could talk about this stuff with (hell, if it's just talking about characters lmao) would help with my internalized homophobia; because for me it's not that I think I have "male gaze" or whatever BS, it's just I feel like I'm too much of a dork to be sexual and express it.

That's another thing, it's like no one can be carnal, but in a positive or humanizing way towards its target. I'm not a prude or one of those people that think anything besides vanilla sex is patriarchy but on one end I see tryhards saying over-the-top gross shit like "step on me, choke me, and let me gag on your strap" (not to "kinkshame" but…ew. And every butch I'm friends with has told me they HATE having this said to them) but then the other side is like "omg?? i just??? girls??? so soft????". Gag.

No. 285202

>I see tryhards saying over-the-top gross shit like "step on me, choke me, and let me gag on your strap" (not to "kinkshame" but…ew. And every butch I'm friends with has told me they HATE having this said to them)
AYRT and as a butch the one sure way to turn me off so hard it would make me think I'm asexual is to talk like that. It feels so dehumanising too, like you're just meant to be this lusty cavewoman who throws women around. Not saying I don't enjoy a little rough 'n' tumble but Jesus Christ… Choking? Stepping? Gagging? The only gagging going on is me gagging on my own vomit.

No. 285209


She is pale, silent, serene in air
Aglow, lounging in her kingdom
Sighing, drifting clouds, can’t reach her
But she watches with silent knowing
Bathing me in her effervescent glowing

Luna, the pearly unreadable plain
Of your face, where I drift in my dreams
Taunting, I tread black waters in vain
I rise and fall for you, a sighing wet tide
On lace crest of waves, you may hide

Luna, oblivious of the merciless dance
Of waltzing earth in the infinite sky
Pretty demon, sapping me each chance
Unscathed by ravenous fire
And still cold with my warmth

No. 285212

Beautiful anon. My middle names luna so I really enjoyed it.

No. 285217

Luna nonna i wrote it for u then uwu

No. 285219

I can only dream thank you for being sweet

No. 285238

>I don't mean any of this in a harsh way, but some of you really need to hear how dykes talk in real life.
Couldn't have put it better myself tbh. Seeing women being unabashed about their attraction to women made me start pushing against being ashamed about thinking women were hot.

No. 285300

Yeah in a way the whole choking, stepping gagging thing isn't even truly sexual, it's just violent. It still feels like they are distancing themselves. Somehow it's become more vulgar to talk about pleasure, rather than talking about violent shit. Like some other butches complain about being treated like a piece of meat by other women. I honestly wouldn't mind that, I'd probably love that, but why does it have to be a violent piece of meat?

No. 285345

AYRT, yeah, like I said, I'm not a prude or radfem or anything or one of those that thinks you should only have vanilla sex in a marriage, but a lot of hardcore violent kink shit really is emotional distancing from actual sex and attraction to people. I used to have friends (not hetero, shockingly, some were in same-sex relationships) who were into BDSM to the point it was their lifestyle and their outlook on basic sexuality was so unhealthy and disconnected, it was clearly a replacement for other problems in their life (one of my friends could only do something if her 'dom' told her to and rewarded her after - she stopped and left this relationship but it was crazy how she eroticized learned helplessness).

No. 285353

Dear nonnies, how do I stop myself from falling hopelessly in love with bihets and straight girls and subsequently getting my heart broken when they get a boyfriend? How do I not kermit when I think about how I will never be the handsome man they're looking for? The lesbians and actual kinsey 1+ bisexuals that I've met are taken, not interested or simply not my type at all regarding looks and interests, I feel like I'm cursed to have unrequited love for women while I watch them catch a Nigel that I can never become. I was considering trooning out for years, fantasizing about true Mengele shit like height lengthening surgeries to be taller and skin sausage dicks just because I so badly wanted to have a girlfriend. I've been told so many times the same "I'd date you immediately if you were a man" shit that one more will push me over the edge. I'm going legitimately insane with despair and bitterness. How the fuck are you supposed to cope with knowing that I'm probably going to go through life with disappointment after disappointment?

No. 285358

Cold as fuck out here, wish I was warming my hands between my gf's thighs. Ngl there is something so intoxicating and magical about the warmth between a woman's legs. Like not just the feeling or the intimacy but when I'm eating her out it's like there's a certain change in the air. Anyone else?????

No. 285364

It's Oxygen-16 converting to Oxygen-17 while you eat out

No. 285365

NTA but is eating out a sustainable form of energy?

No. 285366

>I'd date you immediately if you were a man
Don't fall for this, they do not mean it even if they think they do. Also sounds like you're just not surrounded by enough actual SSA women which is causing you to fall for straight women due to the circumstance? You should really try not making friends with any more straight/bi women for a while and focus on lesbians. Even if they're taken, ask about friends they can introduce you to etc. At any rate pretending to be a man is not the solution. Do something constructive and work on not looking bitter because women can sniff that out from a mile away.

What is your type anyway?

Same, but not just thighs. I love feeling how warm her body is around her abdomen or under her arms too. But yes to your spoiler too, it's like nothing else, being close to her that way.

No. 285369

Just where is the magical land of lesbians where you just meet them in numbers and can just ask others to introduce you to some big lesbian network to explore? Lesbian bars don't exist where I live and the "gay communities" aren't for me because they focus on activism and joining them in hopes of finding a date sounds weird. I've met maybe a handful of lesbians in my life and plenty of bisexuals but the latter are always in straight relationships. I don't understand anons who say they've had like 5 girlfriends in their lives, do they know some secret SSA handshake or something?

No. 285393

Wait, we've got Sappho posting in the thread kek? Dumb joke aside this is really beautiful and sweat nonnie, wishing the best to both Luna and you!

No. 285398

DA but I wonder this too. Most people I know IRL are straight or bi in a straight relationship. I've seen advice to befriend girls on apps and join their friend group but a lot of what I see nearby are unicorn hunters and TIM/TIFs.

No. 285436

It's called living in a city and using apps.

No. 285437

I feel like all this I'm not a radfem I'm not political comments are like when emma watsom (fuck her) came out as a feminist and all these women were telling the world they weren't. Isn't being a radfem now just what being a feminist was back in the day. All it means is that you're pink/black pilled and care about the well being of women?

No. 285450

I say it because it tends to be assumed that real lesbian that doesn't agree with trans issues = radfem (or that radfem communities are the only safe place for lesbians, which isn't true) when it's not always that simple. A lot of radfem views are basic feminism (woman=female, pro-choice, anti or at the very least critical of porn and prostitution, etc.), but the second-wave of feminism is a branch of its own and reading theory and talking to actual radfems made me realize I disagree with just as many things too. I'm also just tired of having people assume my political views the moment they find out my sexuality, both conservative and liberal straight people do because they assume I'm on the LGBTQ+++ side, or the LGBT TRA side worries if I'm a "TERF" for having thought crimes. Not to mention, I'm not an activist, so it doesn't feel right to call myself a radical anything even if I was.

No. 285467

Reading this made me realize how much I hate that so many lesbians on lolcow tend to think lesbianism = complete totalitarian female separatism. Why does someone not pretending as if men don't exist make them a "lowly bisexual"? I know plenty of fully gay guys who simp for female pop stars, think they're attractive and buy their merch et cetera but are not attracted to them and would not be interested in a relationship yet nobody calls them "bis in denial" for it. And likewise nobody thinks a straight girl considering a female idol beautiful and idolizing her is a lesbian. But for some reason when it comes to lesbians there's a retarded amount of policing around what counts as ~twue lesbianism~ when it should be nothing more than being attracted to other women exclusively in real life. Anime men aren't real and the lesbians I know only like them because it allows them to create a connection with other women through shared interests. The same goes for K-pop idols who are real people but they're fully unattainable with a fake persona so they might as well be myths. These girls most likely do not fantasize about dating and fucking Jungkook personally but idolize him without some romantic self insertion. Do "real lesbians" just squee over moid pandering waifus or female idols instead? If so, I have plenty of heterosexual women to introduce you to who do that shit constantly and hate all mentions of male characters and male idols.

No. 285485

A couple years ago I used to know all the fashion trends especially like that fuckboy haircut. But idk if it's because I've been out of the loop (was dating someone/stopped looking). Has the collective style or identifiers disappeared? Or does it not matter when you get older and older 30+ lesbians have higher senses and can sniff another lesbian out easy peasy?

Ohh yeah I forgot about the activist part of it. Thanks for replying back I get it, wanting to step away from all the politics that get tacked on.

No. 285487

Nta but usually people are talking about stuff like this
when they mention supposed 'lesbians' being into anime guys, not just liking characters platonically.

No. 285488

While that particular post is a hyperbolic example (I actually thought the character was female at first tbh and it seems that's how he was supposed to be) and I understand the point, where is the line drawn exactly? Everyone here seems to agree with the sentiment that a straight becky posting ridiculous shit like "I want anime mommy #4535 to suffocate me with her big milkers and fat ass cheeks uwu" while dating and having sexual relations with men only is as heterosexual as one can be but when a lesbian hornyposts about a cartoon sexyman while having only interest in women IRL makes her a traumatized bi in denial ashamed of her attraction to men. I'll admit that simping for characters played by real life actors is toeing the line and pretty much stepping over it but some anime characters are another thing entirely.

No. 285490

When it comes to anime shit, it really does sometimes feel like the same logic TRAs use where suddenly when a butch troons out, lesbians can't be attracted to her anymore in their opinion. Some anime scrote can be drawn the exact same way as a tomboy in that style, but because one is canonically a man and the other is canonically a woman, that suddenly makes all the difference. Like it's just fucking semantics at some point. This is the same logic how you end up with t4t gaydens who think they are into men, because they are into anime guys, when in reality they would only ever want to be with women. You don't get that blurry line with irl shit, vs with anime.

No. 285505

This. Anime and drawings aren't at all equivalent to real men, and it's beyond retarded to act like they are. Everyone's always criticizing lesbians for daring to find fictional men cute as if they aren't just pixels on a fucking screen.

No. 285513

I think it's mostly hypervigilance at this point. There are some "lesbians" literally jerking off to anime moids which isn't the same as the ones who just think the design is cool/androgynous. There is simply no way of knowing which category the anime worshipper you're talking to belongs to because you can't know if she's telling the truth. The based take is that anime is garbage.

No. 285514

>strap-on discourse
kek i started at least one little strap on spat on radbl just for fun

No. 285521

>This is the same logic how you end up with t4t gaydens who think they are into men, because they are into anime guys, when in reality they would only ever want to be with women.
Exactly, muddying the waters with gendering fiction is what TRAs always do. Aydens who like female fan favourites and male characters written by women are memed into thinking they're gay males because they like a completely fictional gender and only date other Aydens making them the notorious "lesbians with extra steps" stereotype. I've heard the "well gay men don't larp as anime lesbians" clause being used as a rebuttal but to be fair I've seen it happen a lot with "femboy" type troons and even besides that there's the more complex issue of the fetishization of lesbians for the male gaze and baby lesbians wanting to distance themselves from it with their fictional males that are vague enough to interpret as whatever gender you feel like. I feel it's very similar to the mentioned spergy strap on discourse, as in liking penetration means you're actually bi because penetrative sex is the heterosexual norm even though it's just how vaginas are generally built.

Hypervigilance is a good point and understandable, I've ripped my hair out many times coming across femcel "lesbians" who talk about wanting to suck an attractive male actor off and turn straight when a man shows passing interest in them. But moving the goalposts of what being a lesbian is supposed to be is also a headache and causes a lot of women to go "I guess I like dick then" if they like a bunch of artificial pixels on the screen specifically designed to appeal to women and get themselves into genuine comphet situations. Terminally autistic microblog but I thought I was bisexual because I enjoyed male anime characters a lot more than female ones before I realized that I only like it when women cosplay as them while men doing the same was uncanny and gross to me no matter how attractive he was, while straight girls went crazy with admiration. When the concept was transferred to real life it was clear how I was actually interpreting them.

No. 285530

I think that anyone who's never had sex should just stay away from sexual labels until they pursue their attraction IRL and see if it's truly real. NOT saying "try both genders" at all because obv that is not necessary whatsoever but like, until you try just the one gender you think you're into IRL you have no business sperging about sex. Too many virgins are talking about sex as if they know the first thing about it.

No. 285543

on the other hand, when men are into stuff like traps they're considered bi/gay even if they only fuck women irl

No. 285546

AYRT, I really do get where you're coming from since I'm on the "fiction isn't reality" side of fandom discourse, but if you can't tell the difference between a gay person having an opposite-sex favorite character or celeb that they think is cool/cute and the self-hating bisexuals I used to know on Tumblr who talk about wanting to gobble on some guys knob but say it's "comphet" and keep acting like attraction to men that they're ashamed of is akin to catching the flu or being haunted by a ghost that makes them want to suck dick, then I don't know what to tell you. I have lesbian friends who literally pretend their anime guys are women because why not, it's fiction, but it seems like when you're the only lesbian in a fandom who isn't obsessed with 2D penis (even if it's 2D, even if it's just fiction) it gets kind of weird.

I don't believe in separatism or anything like that either since I'm just as critical of how radfems police lesbian's sexuality as much as I am over how "lesbian" is a trendy label now (compared to how being bisexual/"pansexual" was cool a decade ago).

No. 285567


I’m the anon who posted that actually, and I can’t believe how angry people got over it lol. I’ve heard so many straight girls say “I’d fuck the shit out of Lady Dimitrescu” or straight men saying “I’m not gay but if I was I’d fuck him”, but they’re never questioned about their sexuality for it.

When I said “I want to suck the skin off his cock” I meant it in the same way that straight girls say they’d eat out a hot anime girl, or the way a straight man might simp about “Femboy cock”. If that anime character was an irl man, I’d be completely disgusted by him. But it’s an anime character. He does not exist. He is lines on a screen.

It’s insane how lesbians aren’t allowed to even JOKE about liking the opposite sex without being policed about “you’re not a real lesbian because you said you’d fuck an anime man” It was a joke, an exaggeration. If a straight man said “I’d put my dick in Pewdiepie” it’s seen as a joke, but when a lesbian does the same thing, the fucking Lesbian Cops start whining about “you’re not a real lesbian” it’s so annoying fr, these girls need some pussy ASAP, bc that’s bitchless behavior

No. 285602

File: 1662416504615.png (18.4 KB, 583x304, 07.png)

>the way a straight man might simp about “Femboy cock”
Literally none of those guys are straight what are you talking about.

No. 285609


I meant how some moids say it in a joking way. Not the ones who actually mean it. But tbh that one was a bad example on my part, cause I forget that they’re not joking sometimes.

No. 285611

femboys are straight in the same way that traps are. they look exactly like women except for one thing. it's 100% normal, most men are attracted to femboys.

No. 285625

Most heterosexual and opposite-sex preferring bisexual men have a paraphilia for femininity, back when I had OSA male friends, a lot of them acted absolutely disgusted over the idea of a woman they were dating ceasing to shave or wear makeup. A man that looks like a woman is still a man, they're bisexual or closeted gay.

No. 285633

Wtf nonnie im blushing it’s not even the best it’s basically saying ‘mm she’s distant and im h*rny hehe’ but thank you sweatheart ♥

No. 285641

Pretending to like women is trendy so you equating het women saying they want to be stepped on by Dimitrescu to fauxbians salivating over cartoon cock isn't the loophole you think it is. Also no straight woman talks about eating out an anime girl, they just say shit like "choke me" aka male porn acts but imposed onto a female character.

No. 285651

No they're not, men are into that shit because of the surprise dick and lose interest if it's not there.

No. 285654

Why we always got to talk about semantics and weeb shit.

Anons wanting to talk about more non puritan sex talk posting but what we get is weeb nonnies wanting anime dick what the fuck is this.

No. 285657

I just wonder whether the weeb anons are like this nonna >>262813

No. 285658

Oh my god I also read the post she was replying too. The zoomer/nlog generation is fucked. Why do they have to commodify and put everything into little boxes. Pre mtf whaaat theeeee fuuuuuckkk.

No. 285659

That is literally raging misogyny if you think women with androgynous features who don’t shave are “pre-ftm”. Full on tranny tier brainrot, but no doubt she thinks she is based because read some lame radblr posts. Anyway, she is never getting close to masc women with that attitude kek

No. 285663

Many zoomers don't know about the concept of "butch" and that actually causes problems. They only understand "pre-FTM". With no concept like "butch", people return to their kneejerk reaction of "you're trying to be a man if you're in any way shape or form masc". It's either a masc "(pre-)FTM" haircut to them, or a feminine uwu pixie haircut, if it's short. And why would you even want to be masc if you weren't a pre-FtM (at least in their mind)? They think the only reason a woman would want to be masc is if she's taken the plunge to transition, and right up until that moment you just keep super duper long hair, no other reason you'd cut it. It still baffles me that a short masc haircut is already considered transitioning. I honestly wouldn't mind a weeb gf who wants me to crossplay and I'd love to be loved for my masculinity, but at this point I'm kinda terrified by how my own generation views me and other butches.

No. 285666

Because it's interesting and generates discussion with the lesbians who aren't living a wholesome tradlife, I'd much rather read anons' struggles with their sexuality and how they and their thoughts function as a lesbian compared to straight women than another "my wife and I did this and that" post, "I want to eat my girlfriend's wet pussy" blog or rolling eyes and scoffing "just install a dating app" at the loser anons who are lonely because homophobia is still a thing.

What's exactly so horrible about this? I know anons have a spergfit at "he/him lesbians" but presenting masculine and doing drag king stuff or even adopting a male name has always been a part of lesbian culture and anon specifically says that she's not into troons but princely women who borderline larp as fictional ikemen. It's nerdy I guess but far from "raging misogyny".

No. 285667

I brought this up before but I would like to talk to other nonnies about this. Openlibrary.org has a lot of lesbian books from the 80-90-00s we should do a book club lol.
Usually when I'm between serial monogamy I feel like I completely forget how to snu snu so I was reading two how to sex guides several months ago and half of it was about dicks and trans shit and the other half was just do what feels right and create a safe space. Well no shit, I want to learn techniques while I twiddle my thumbs. So when I was looking for less woke material I stumbled upon Open Libraries treasure trove. Here's just a small list of the titles I saved for later. If anyone wants to talk about the books or recommend something I'm all eyes. (hopefully most of this isn't polilez shit)

Finding the Lesbians
Personal Accounts from Around the World

The history of lesbian hair
and other tales of bent life in a straight world by Mary Dugger

The lesbian sex book
by Wendy Caster

More lesbian etiquette
humorous essays by Gail Sausser

Call me lesbian
lesbian lives, lesbian theory by Julia Penelope

Lesbian adventure stories
by Mikaya Heart

The Lesbian path
by Margaret Cruikshank

Lesbian love signs
an astrological guide to women loving women by Aurora

The whole lesbian sex book
a passionate guide for all of us by Felice Newman

True Secrets of Lesbian Desire
Keeping Sex Alive in Long-Term Relationships by Renate Stendhal

Lesbian passion
loving ourselves and each other by JoAnn Loulan

The lesbian erotic dance
butch, femme, androgyny, and other rhythms

Gravel queen
by Tea Benduhn

Daring to Dissent
Lesbian Culture from Margin to Mainstream (Women on Women) by Liz Gibbs

Susie Sexpert's lesbian sex world
by Susie Bright

by Doris Grumbach

Desire by Starlight
by Radclyffe

Another mother tongue
gay words, gay worlds by Judy Grahn

Provincetown summer & other stories
by Lindsay Welsh

Keeping you a secret
by Julie Anne Peters

Women on Women
An Anthology of American Lesbian Short Fiction (Women on Women) by Joan Nestle and Naomi Holoch

Vampires & violets
lesbians in film by Andrea Weiss

Odd girls and twilight lovers
a history of lesbian life in twentieth-century America by Lillian Faderman

the book of lesbian sexuality by Patrick Califia-Rice

Fun home
a family tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

And these two accounts that I found had a lot of lesbian books in them but you have to sift through https://openlibrary.org/people/briekm/lists/OL109944L/To_read and https://openlibrary.org/people/ovie

Also I think one of my favorite books was this one I read about a country Canadian tough stuff chick (bleh she was bi but lets just forget that) that ends up with this irish airline stewardess. It was cute even though I don't remember the ending. And that one author Harper Bliss if I can get over the huge age gaps and fetish for turning straight women.

No. 285669

I don't think it's horrible, I'm >>285663
It would be no issue to me if they'd look into this more and not call everything "pre-ftm", or not buy into common stereotypes about masc women many zoomers believe. If the weeb anons are like the fantasies thread nonna, it makes sense and that's different imo from weebs who claim to be lesbians struggling with "comphet", but actually are legit into canonically male characters and would want an irl male version of that. Rather than have a gf just crossplay and they want them to actually be female (not talking about pronouns or whatever, but sex).
I can already say Julia Penelope is a polilez, but she's also one of the few who is an actual lesbian iirc

No. 285670

lol. Hopefully it's only online talk and she never goes outside to actually meet someone.

Yeah, I know the internet is bleeding out into real life. But I have seen a handful of young gnc lesbians at my previous job that seemed to know nothing about online discourse. It seemed like they where just naturally themselves. That was before covid though. Seems like everyone's online now. Who cares about everyone else though all you have to find is one person that views you/ treats you right. Just one. <3

You're the nonnie that posted that huh.

No. 285672

That anon didn't say "pre-ftm" though, I thought she made the distinction between a FTM and a larper pretty clear and that she specifically likes girls who play pretend as anime men and not actually skinwalk them to the point they'd go on a fool's errand trying to become him in real life. As a butch one of my previous girlfriends playfully called me her boyfriend and I didn't mind it because we both knew I was a woman.

Nope, I'm just not a reactive sperg who buys into the TRA narrative that gender play, a thing distinctively associated with gay culture, means immediately trooning out and denying material reality.

No. 285680

I can see that. Idk I guess me being terminally online has tainted genderplay and asking my future gf to put on a tuxedo. It's a sad day today.

idk maybe it's the feminist in me but I think divine masculine and feminine should all be abolished and drag kings are cringe/ old lesbians had their own skeletons in the closet dealing with misogyny and society creating this strict butch/femme symbiosis that seemed at times toxic. We don't have to mirror the past either.

The image I was replying to was referring to women as pre ftm here >>262727

Thanks Nonnie I'll keep that in mind when I read her book. All the ones by JoAnn Loulan seem promising.

No. 285682

Yeah but it feels stupid to not just say butch instead of "pre-FtM who doesn't even want to be FtM [insert long explanation]".
Most people aren't actually saying that society should create a strict butch/femme system, they are just expressing that they are into masc women really. For some reason whenever someone says they are into masc women in any way shape or form, someone has to come in to say how they don't feel like it's feminist. If anything, there is a big push to "do both", and everything related to masc women is shat on enough. And again, as if only masc women can be misogynistic, toxic or portray "fuckboy" behavior. Funny how that isn't automatically brought up when your average feminine woman is thirsted over or said anything positive about. Like femme4femme is venerated at this point, but it's still not enough apparently.

No. 285685

Maybe venerated by straights lol. But they're not really saying that and it feels like they feel safer with a manlite that's pretending to be a man than a masculine woman (That was going on even before ftm discourse with butches becoming pawpaw to women that had multiple baby daddies and became gay for pay.)

I don't mean it that way, I guess I'm like one of those bi chicks saying everyone's fluid when they aren't. I like to dress masc/fem whatever I'm feeling. Chinos and wingtip oxfords or pencil skirts and button-ups it's all just a form of expression to me. I don't know what we're talking about anymore because I think being masculine is not a statement but just how someone is/wants to present? Any woman can have internalized misogyny I would think the one's closest to presenting to societies standards could be more toxic since they haven't had to come face to face with how society perceives them going against the grain.

No. 285687

Most lesbians are femme4femme, at least in the west. Butches have practically disappeared and have been consistently shat on within the community since the 70's. You don't notice the veneration, because many think femme4femme is like two bimbos together who look like they came straight from a porno, rather than two women who are together and who would be considered "neutral". Since what is considered "neutral" for women, is actually still pretty damn feminine and femme doesn't just mean "high femme". So no, it aren't just the straights venerating.
>I don't mean it that way, I guess I'm like one of those bi chicks saying everyone's fluid when they aren't. I like to dress masc/fem whatever I'm feeling. Chinos and wingtip oxfords or pencil skirts and button-ups it's all just a form of expression to me.
Because being butch is more than just being an average feminine woman with long hair, who wears make up regularly and just happens to wear trousers and a masculine shoe choice sometimes. Some women just never want to wear pencil skirts, never want to wear make up and don't feel like they're themselves in feminine shit. Maybe it's just not comfortable. The whole "please switch it up" thing will be interpreted in the context of a long line of people, including a butches' family, teachers, peers, consistently trying to pressure them to be more feminine, from when they were still young tomboys. It's not necessarily a political statement, but yeah it can actually reflect something about someone's personality, like preferring comfort and practicability, or that they probably had to struggle a lot with being shat on for being different, or that they maybe have some masc hobbies. Like you obviously don't get if if you think a woman could ever actually be a manlite, the whole point is that she's still female, there's no dick and she's socialized female so she can never truly act like a man.
Seriously, that "man-lite" is still a masculine woman and the women who think like "oh I prefer man-lite", don't stay with that "man-lite", because in the end she's still a masculine woman. You're going to be very disappointed if you go into it without keeping that in mind. The only way you can be into it, is if in the end the important part to you is that she's female. Like this is just retarded shit about how if you're attracted to butches, you have to be at least bi. Since the goalposts are always moved and you find out that the anon's idea of acceptable masculinity which isn't "male-lite" is an average feminine woman with long hair who wears a backwards baseball cap and boyfriend cut jeans at most and wears a dress at least once a week.

No. 285688

lol idk what's going on here anymore and why you're mad. I'm going to sleep good night and sweet dreams.

No. 285689

because this happens regularly and it's getting pretty annoying that the same stupid questions and claims about some butches being man-lite and borderline TRA rhetoric acting like she's suddenly not a masculine woman anymore. First it starts with shitting on he/him lesbian shit or crossplay or whatever, then it's always revealed that the real masculinity limit for the offended anon isn't even about grey area shit, but literally just the whole concept of never wanting to dress feminine is what is so misogynistic and male-lite apparently.

No. 285692

Nonas, anyone else have a "The One that Got Away"? We were practically forced to break up by her family years ago, before the relationship even properly took flight. Life went on, we both had our own lives, grew as people, are adults now yada yada. Anyway nonas, I'm catching feelings again and I want to distract myself by hearing others' stories

No. 285694

Bruh I was literally crying right now thinking about how perfect my ex was besides constantly smoking weed and getting depressed and being annoyed with everything I did at the end of the relationship. I currently feel like I'll never find someone who enjoys my company. Are you catching feelings for her again or someone else?

No. 285700

It was the first day of secondary school and the teacher was reading off the names. When I heard my name, me and another girl both said we were here and I guess it was love at first sight. We decided to become best friends based on having the same name and we did everything together. At some point some years later we started fooling around and we were in a de facto relationship, but never called it that. Everything just felt natural, no worries, everything was great. Then she came out and wanted to make things official. While I'm obviously not straight to everyone, I didn't really dare to because of my crazy family and living in a religious area. So I broke up with her, to give her the chance to have the kind of relationship she wants. However she kept getting into actually shitty relationships and she kept sleeping with me here and there, until it just stopped a couple years ago and now we only talk sometimes. On one hand she's the one that got away, on the other hand I'm happy that we broke up on a high note, so I have just positive memories. I wouldn't even really want to get back together with her, because we've probably grown apart quite a bit. However I don't think I'll ever have such a chill situationship/relationship with someone again. It legit felt like one long summer break, that lasted years. That experience did set my ideal "relationship" standards, it's like we somehow managed to preserve that honeymoon phase for years and never got into that boring relationship routine. We took each other out practically every day, never got bed death, always stayed spontaneous, a lot of PDA, no need to verbally announce or advertise the relationship, people could just tell by our actions.

I haven't really fallen for anyone like that again, because it just never happens anymore. Things can't naturally grow. You meet on an app, have to basically decide to be in a relationship before even meeting and it's like all the fun and chill gets beaten out of it. And no there aren't any lesbian bars around me or a place where you can actually find lesbians or just in general anything more than spicy straight people. I don't exactly like the "befriend someone on Tinder and get recommended to one of their friends", because that feels like shitting where you eat and like a recipe of drama if you ever break up and doesn't change that modern dating standards are really weird and skip any courtship period, period. It still dives right into controlling and online stalking behavior "in the name of love". I don't know why it used to be so much easier to find actual lesbians or even bi women. I also can't really imagine someone actually falling for me again.

No. 285705

You dropped your crown my liege, truer words have never been spoken and your based meter is at 100%. Feels unironically validating to read posts like this as someone who's absolutely fucking done with the lesbian community being so triggered about masculine women and them willingly choosing to present the way they do. I remember my own mother lamenting over how I didn't dress like a proper woman and instead wanted to live my tomboy life because I find it comfortable and I can rock it.

>it's always revealed that the real masculinity limit for the offended anon isn't even about grey area shit, but literally just the whole concept of never wanting to dress feminine is what is so misogynistic and male-lite apparently.

This. It's never about the grey area alone, it's always a full ass "butches should stop being cringe and put on a dress" type of small minded garbage and faux concern over butchness being a pipeline to trooning out as if it was the cause alone and not the society and even the LGB community pressuring them to do so out of sheer annoyance of the concept of masculine women.

No. 285712

>"butches should stop being cringe and put on a dress" type of small minded garbage
It's so often implied that you basically have to put on a dress to prove you're not misogynistic, as if wearing dresses is inherent to being a woman. So if you're not willing to put them on sometimes, you hate women. In reality it's just many people confusing what they personally find attractive for what is "feminist". Everyone is allowed to think butches are cringe and everyone is allowed to not be attracted to butches. But just because it's cringe and not attractive to someone, doesn't mean they have to try to make you more attractive to them, while acting like a moralfag about it. Like some people ARE into it, aren't they allowed to have something too? Or does everyone just HAVE to be standard gender conforming with only societally acceptable amounts of androgyny? The people who ARE into it, just get ridiculed, accused of not even being into women by both sides of the gender debate within the community, are told that they might as well date men etc. Like they end up using the same type of arguments as straight lesbophobes do about lesbians in general. They'll accuse butches of being manlite and wanting to mimic heterosexuality, in the same breath as they themselves end up ironically enough sounding like a scrote kek.

No. 285713


Yes. Literally my dream girl. We didn’t even break up tho. She wasn’t accepted by her family, and her culture values family above all else. She killed herself. It hurts so bad because we live in a very accepting area, but the pain of losing her family was too much. They didn’t even come to her funeral. They never picked up the things she willed to them. I miss her so much.

No. 285714

Going back to weeb shit, but not in the “anime man” way, did any of you guys have an awakening bc of anime? Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune always made me feel a type of way growing up, but I watched the English dub, and always felt weird about it because it called them cousins (autistic 10 year old me couldn’t read it that well, and I didn’t even know lesbians existed). Rewatched it as a teen in Japanese, turns out they were lesbians. Lesbian erasure is so weird, they’d literally rather have incest than two girls kissing

No. 285716

I get that apps are too telegraphed but you're also expecting to have a meet cute like in secondary school. You're grown now, you're gonna need to get over this desire for romanticized childhood experiences. Bumble BFF is right there, you can meet women on entirely platonic terms and then get acquainted with her friends if you want. Or get a hobby group. Lamenting what isn't available to you anymore is a really pointless thing, you're making yourself jaded by doing this shit. Let go of what doesn't exist anymore.

NTA and I wasn't in that back and forth but I can't even see who you two are so mad at? Nobody in this thread said anything like "you have to put on a dress or you're miso" from what I've read. You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder and are arguing with people that aren't even here? Maybe I zoned out reading the angry replies idk. I'm masc too but sheesh.

No. 285719

It's weird because some effeminate lesbians constantly cry about how they feel like Not Like Other Lesbians because they're feminine presenting and lesbians are "expected" to look masculine. It sounds more like them being offended that someone associates lesbians with being barefaced ugly bulldykes than having their sexuality questioned because they always take it out on butches instead of the straight people who think they're not "lesbian enough". Like I'm supposed to be sorry that I cause lesbians a bad rep by being what I am or something. It's the shit you find on sites like L Chat constantly.

NTA but this condescending "just install a dating app lol" and "why are you so seething over butches being invalidated chill out" attitude is tiring. A lot of us are here venting about our experiences on an universal scale because lbr it fucking sucks being a lesbian and gender nonconforming in most parts of the world outside of progressive western cities with a thriving community and a secured relationship lasting for years.

No. 285721

File: 1662467690579.jpg (39.02 KB, 629x450, 610edd78922b78e3cef801b5f6f030…)

Do you think the people who moved to cities, swallowed their pride and got apps, put in hours and hours into finding someone, established a lasting and loving relationship are just fucking blessed by god? Your whining is what is tiring. Me me me, I hate my life and will do nothing to fix it. Boo hoo. Yeah it fucking sucks, especially when you wallow.

No. 285723

Kek why are you so mad? You're accusing others of having "a chip on their shoulders" yet get so angry about them struggling with feelings of loneliness and invalidation while complaining about how much elbow grease you put into finding a relationship. If you know how much effort it takes, then why are you shitting on people struggling with the same problems? How do you know anons aren't putting any effort they can under their personal circumstances yet come here to vent after being discouraged? Seriously, this is some boomer level "everyone else is lazy but me and it was never about luck and chance but my hard work" kind of behavior so take a seat.

No. 285726

Meet cutes can still be possible as an older lesbian. You don’t have to go along with dating rules of today you can write them yourself. Like waiting three months to have sex and hanging out before you call it anything. You can have boundaries anon and build up the tension in getting to know someone. Just got to hope that you find someone with the same mindset and curiosity/patience to start slow and test the waters before trying to dive into a relationship.

No. 285727

I don't expect a whole ass meetcute, but things like Bumble BFF are just used by straight women around here. And like I said, I don't want to make friends just to find someone via them, because if we do end up breaking up, you end up with a whole taking sides situation and a lot more drama. It also doesn't solve the modern dating problem where you really really don't get the chance to let things build naturally. If there is any interest, there is the expectation to immediately make it official and figure things out later. You cannot circumvent that really, without it being seen as an outright rejection or you being a massive fuckboy(girl). Then with the added issue that immediately get the whole friend group on your ass over it, if you did meet that way. Nowadays you're not just talking to one person, but everything you sent is analyzed by some secret ass group chat and you're expected to have active social media profiles for everyone to cyberstalk. I also have to go to the other side of the fucking country to even find other lesbians or even a bi woman. Like what the fuck happened? It's not like I come across them at work or anywhere else, not even at any sports I've done. It feels like I'm the only one in like a 50km radius at least. When I was younger it felt like I was tripping over them left and right, that is what I lament, not the meetcute.
>Nobody in this thread said anything like "you have to put on a dress or you're miso" from what I've read.
Not literally, but I don't know how else you want to interpret
>idk maybe it's the feminist in me but I think divine masculine and feminine should all be abolished and drag kings are cringe/ old lesbians had their own skeletons in the closet dealing with misogyny and society creating this strict butch/femme symbiosis that seemed at times toxic. We don't have to mirror the past either.
Especially when nonnas feel the need to go there every. single. time. and refuse to just scroll up (since it was probably already discussed just a month ago).
I already live in a city, but cities here are like the size of villages in other countries. Someone requested whiny "the one that got away" stories, I provided one. Fucking hell. Yeah fuck me for dealing with an unprecedented housing crisis, inflation, just like everyone else in my generation, so it's not as easy to "just move" now compared to even just a couple years ago. Added to that we're so bad with butch hate in the community in this country nowadays, that other butches who moved to here almost regret it. I'm not exactly a special snowflake in my situation.

No. 285729

Thanks, I'll just have patience. Things are so fucked anyway, with the terf witch hunts, pandemic, war, inflation, energy crisis, housing crisis etc. So will also be probably a while before others even return to stuff like hobby groups.

No. 285735

>It also doesn't solve the modern dating problem where you really really don't get the chance to let things build naturally. If there is any interest, there is the expectation to immediately make it official and figure things out later.
I honestly have not had this happen to me. Ime when I go on a date we're all seeing multiple people or at least are not in an official thing until something builds and we don't rush into stuff. You can be explicit about your expectations/boundaries and find likeminded people. You can even be clear about that in your bio so you don't accidentally rope someone in, there are ways. Maybe all this is a zoomer thing you're describing but I'm in my early 30s and have no clue what you're talking about with needing socials to stalk etc.

>idk maybe it's the feminist in me but I think divine masculine and feminine should all be abolished and drag kings are cringe/ old lesbians had their own skeletons in the closet dealing with misogyny and society creating this strict butch/femme symbiosis that seemed at times toxic. We don't have to mirror the past either.

Well she elaborates what she meant a couple posts down from that and while I don't think she's right about us, she also wasn't phrasing things in a way where she thinks she's the authority on how we feel/think. Some of the replies to her speculative posts read like straight up trauma responses and it's not the only time this has happened here. She's not force feminizing you, she didn't pressure you to conform while you were a young masc girl. She's not your oppressor. She's trying to be critical about the categories we sort ourselves into and asserts that maybe we're going against the grain in a way where we're overcompensating which yeah, in some ways that can happen. You can look at examples of butches calling butch4butch "faggy" for that, as an example. It's not possible to say you're immune to societal norms when your response is so emotional. An unaffected mind would not go into such hard defense. Of course it hurts, we're audited both on our masculinity and female sex all the time. But she isn't the arbiter of that, by her own admission. Especially considering how a lot of us also have dysphoria, it's okay to ask questions.

No. 285739

Yeah this is a zoomer thing, I can't exactly help that. Like you could be talking for a week on a dating app, not even having met and it already starts with "you're probably talking to your other hoes", because you don't have some social media they can stalk while you're busy and can't respond to a dm. Things didn't go much different after meeting people at parties either. Any time I try to set boundaries, it's always taken as evidence that I want to cheat, while we're just in the talking stage and aren't even dating, so it wouldn't even be cheating. Never mind that I probably wasn't even talking to other people, but I was just busy.
>Some of the replies to her speculative posts read like straight up trauma responses and it's not the only time this has happened here.
I'm more projecting all the other times anons come with retarded takes and everyone trying to explain, for the 50th time in these threads (being hyperbolic), WHY it's not just a style to many and that there is an emotional component to it. And WHY someone might be mad about it. Because that's another disingenuous thing. Of course it's easy to stay calm and never show any emotion about the topic, when you have no horse in the race. So yeah, it feels kinda retarded that they always inevitably say "damn why you mad, I'm leaving". Then a couple months later, or maybe just a couple weeks and it happens all over again. Like fucking groundhogday. It gets a bit difficult to give any benefit of doubt and just assume these are genuine questions.
>She's trying to be critical about the categories we sort ourselves into
It's beating a dead horse at this point. It's discussed constantly in this thread alone, all over the internet, in so many books, on tv, straight people, everyone has some enlightened neutral "I don't need labels" take. At some point it doesn't come across any more like wanting genuine discussion, but more like concerntrolling or being really dense. If you say " maybe it's the feminist in me" and then go shit on masculine female gender expression, you definitely do imply you think it's straight up misogynistic.

No. 285741

samefagging to say I use a lot of general "you", not necessarily referring to "you" literally

No. 285746

NTA but where did she elaborate what she meant? She logged off after that post assuming that she didn't return to elaborate. And the gist of the post was pretty much "femininity isn't venerated in the lesbian community, everyone is fluid, masculinity is button up shirts and pointed oxfords" completely missing the point anons were trying to make so they were explaining where they were coming from and why exactly this generates this an exasperated response but it seems to go straight in the "chillax lol" bin with no procession and full on deflection with an armchair analysis on how high on the mad-o-meter you're probably on, naturally for no good reason at all. Like >>285739 said it's extremely hard to believe these are sincere questions and wonderments when it has so many times in the past turned out to be a thinly veiled excuse to call GNC women gross, misogynistic, manlike and immature.

No. 285749

>Any time I try to set boundaries, it's always taken as evidence that I want to cheat, while we're just in the talking stage and aren't even dating, so it wouldn't even be cheating.
I'm a millenial in my 30's and this happens to me too, it's not just a zoomer thing. That anon just got lucky dating. U-hauling BPD-chans are a real thing to look out for. Generally I feel like it's impossible to court people on apps especially because dating apps attract desperate people who take desperate measures so they want to move as fast as possible or drop the entire thing without really getting to know each other for a safe amount of time.

No. 285759

Several of you or the same anon is reaching so much and just assuming shit. Last night anon you're pissed at here. The whole conversation started from the weeb shit cock sucking discourse that lasted a whole day. Then one anon said:
>I just wonder whether the weeb anons are like this nonna >>262813
and then I replied to her post talking about the post that post was responding too >>262727 That's where the pre-mtf term came from. If I even said that later down in the post but I guess you over looked that.

I didn't come up with that term I was replying to it. And the masculine and feminine terms was a very badly not even explained philosophical idea I believe in. I hate drag queens and feel equally off about drag kings for the same reason it wasn't a dig at you. It's funny how you say femme is the pinnacle of lesbian experience today when it felt like it was the opposite a decade or two before (not saying that for oppression points, just an observation. I'm not even femme).

Does that clear everything up for you?

No. 285760

I understand where you're coming from. I feel the same frustration around these topics that keep coming back too, not like I'm unaffected. That anon came across as quite young to me so I think she really thought she had a super enlightened, new angle on this stuff to me but who knows. Sorry to hear about the dating scene at your age group btw, maybe in a few years your peers will chill the fuck out.

>thinly veiled excuse to call GNC women gross, misogynistic, manlike and immature.
This is a jump imo.

I spent several months going on multiple dates every single week and swiping on people until I reached my daily limit every single day. I did not get lucky in the sense that you may be thinking. I put in an intense amount of effort into finding people that display the right green flags and then spent my time trying out our compatibility IRL. I did nothing but invest in finding women that fits a very specific set of criteria.

No. 285761

I wasn't trying to sound enlightened just that I don't understand butch/femme or categories because I do whatever I want. It wasn't a humble brag I was just trying to say I probably would never be able to understand it.

My rambling last night upset you guys and I'm sorry I didn't think I was saying anything offensive just my observations that I wanted to flesh out with other lesbians. I don't think I was being misogynistic at all but I guess I should reread what I wrote.

No. 285764

I didn't take your posts as an attack tbh. I'm in a secure place with my masculinity/femininity though so I'm just not gonna treat a fellow lesbian expressing her own views on how these things come across to her as an assault on my identity lol. My gf is like you I think, whereas I had some formative experiences around being denied my GNC expression and that hurt but it's so far removed from my life now.

No. 285769

>when a lesbian hornyposts about a cartoon sexyman
It's all so tiresome

No. 285770

Thanks nonnie you're sweet. Yeah, I can understand that. My mom encouraged me being a tomboy because she thought if a predator thought I was a boy I wouldn't be kidnapped lol. I guess I'm lucky for that.

Ohh also:
>Any woman can have internalized misogyny I would think the one's closest to >presenting to societies standards could be more toxic since they haven't had >to come face to face with how society perceives them going against the grain.
I was talking about feminine presenting women.

No. 285776

>I wasn't trying to sound enlightened just that I don't understand butch/femme or categories because I do whatever I want.
NTA, but you know that implies you think butches or femmes don't just do whatever they want? Maybe you didn't mean it that way though. They aren't prescriptive categories, but descriptive.

Also at some point when you're the majority, you don't use labels anymore. You don't see straight people actively calling themselves straight, because they are the norm. Which is why they get upset when lgb people talk about sexual orientation and do the whole "why do you need labels?" spiel too. They don't get it, because they are the norm. It's like saying that lesbian is a restrictive, prescriptive category, like how polilez treat it. Instead of something you just are and that happens to be a word that helps to describe what you are, which is useful to have, when you want to find others like you or information.

Besides a slight uptick around the 90's, the amount of butches has been at a steady decline since the 70's. Radfems introduced a feminine "neutral androgyny" uniform, which is based on the historical gender expression of middle class lesbians who hated the guts of working class butch-femme culture. So jeans, feminine tunic or blouse, long loose hair, no make-up. Many femmes joined radfems, because it was not much compromise, but butches were expected to go above and beyond, so generally were left behind and not allowed to come to meetings. So butch went into relative obscurity, transition shenanigans, media starts to finally portray lesbian relationships, but only femme4femme. Which stayed the standard until the 90's, when butch-femme made a slight comeback in the community at least. Shane and Max from the Lword basically embodies the position of masc women in the 2000's. The most masc you could be is Shane tier, or the pushing to transition would already start. This is how the goalposts also moved for what was considered masc and what was considered feminine or neutral. We're at a point what is considered "neutral" now, was very feminine just 30 years ago and what is considered masc, would've been considered neutral. So over several decades, the group who set the norm, became the norm, then decided labels weren't necessary anymore. Then wonder why those who are left behind just feel more erased.

Like it's easy to say labels like masculinity or femininity are fake, like sure. Everything is fake and a social construct, but that doesn't change that there are material consequences to these social constructs. If you are told your entire life you aren't feminine enough and there are consequences to not being feminine enough, real life consequences, then it's fucking real. Like these are words just used to communicate and while meaning changes over time, there's still a meaning to be understood and it's a lot easier to use them rather than have to type out an essay explaining everything. Of course you feel like you don't need words, when they don't affect your life and you personally don't need them. You used tomboy in this post >>285770 why? Why is that word okay, but someone else using "butch" isn't? You think describing things in masculine or feminine terms is useless and that it shouldn't be necessary, but here you use "tomboy". So obviously you do understand categories? You just only accept the categories you personally relate to, which is natural.

No. 285783

You keep ignoring certain points that I reply to you telling you I agree. Again I never used the term pre-trans I was just commenting on it from another post on lolcow. Butch/femme are perfect words to use. I just don't use them to describe myself. Why do you have such a hate boner for femmes? I'm not even femme. Being seen as societies little darling is only really beneficial when being in the closet. Femmes also have to deal with being pornified and lesbophobia. And does the gay community really fall all over themselves for what society deems ok? Maybe to a certain extent but we have our own hierarchies in the community that doesn't follow what mainstream media tells us what's it.

>I don't know what we're talking about anymore because I think being masculine is not a statement but just how someone is/wants to present?

Aren't we saying the same thing. Now it just seems like you want to be bitter and fight with randos online. Idk life sucks it really does and it seems to get worse and worse. I'm sad that I probably won't have sex for another couple of years and I'm only getting older. But what does getting angry and bitter do to change those things? Nothing. You got to cultivate your inner garden and enjoy what you can. Having a partner shouldn't be the end all be all of life it should be the the frosting on your cake. It enhances the flavor but it's not needed to enjoy the cake. Same with how society perceives us. You can't change peoples minds on how they see you or treat you. Have confidence in yourself and hope or else what's the point of living.

No. 285784

nta but you sound like a dumbass.

No. 285785

I agree with everything in your post but especially this
>So over several decades, the group who set the norm, became the norm, then decided labels weren't necessary anymore. Then wonder why those who are left behind just feel more erased.
Hits really hard, nonnie. Thanks for putting it all into words.

>Why do you have such a hate boner for femmes?
God why do people always think talking about butch erasure is a personal attack against femmes? This is exactly why anons above feel like the questions aren't genuine.

No. 285788

You keep hammering on "pre-trans", when I don't think anyone has a problem with that point. The only time you mentioned it was during clarifications, when you didn't make any points, so idk why you think that is the thing people are upset about.
>Why do you have such a hate boner for femmes? I'm not even femme. Being seen as societies little darling is only really beneficial when being in the closet. Femmes also have to deal with being pornified and lesbophobia. And does the gay community really fall all over themselves for what society deems ok? Maybe to a certain extent but we have our own hierarchies in the community that doesn't follow what mainstream media tells us what's it.
I literally posted a long ass explanation that femmes became the majority and stopped calling themselves femmes, because they are the majority, just like all majorities stop labeling themselves. "Femme" doesn't just mean high femme ultra pink, lots of make-up etc. Femmes also sometimes wear tuxedoes or chinos with oxford shoes, while wearing their pencil skirts on other days. Talking about butch erasure doesn't mean I hate femmes. I'm just saying after femmes having the spotlight for decades, with both positive and negative consequences (not discounting that), can we maybe like, not be erased?
>And does the gay community really fall all over themselves for what society deems ok? Maybe to a certain extent but we have our own hierarchies in the community that doesn't follow what mainstream media tells us what's it.
Funny how butches are below at the hierarchy in the community though when it comes to gender expression, just like in straight society lol. Or do you really want to dispute that? Literally all sides of the gender debate hate the guts of butches. Yeah it's not just about mainstream media, I literally explained how society and developments within feminism affected this too and if you scroll up enough you can see the countless screenshots from studies and journals I posted ages ago.

No. 285798

File: 1662479228503.jpg (868.59 KB, 2452x1158, 1652351536557.jpg)

Samefagging to correct myself, screenshots were in previous thread(s), but here's an example of how this shit has been written to death about for 50 years and it's time to stop acting like "maybe butches are toxic" is a hot take which actually adds anything to the conversation whenever butches dare to be mentioned, if you yourself aren't butch and not up to date on the conversation. Like you're allowed to say it, but you're stuck in the past, we've moved on. Most people complaining about butches probably have never even met a butch and only know of stories from the fucking 50's. Butches have changed, you don't think that wouldn't happen after 50 years of "butches are man lite, toxic masculine, oppress femmes etc."? Try to find a butch who isn't a massive softie really.

No. 285811

I need help nonnas. I went on two dates with two different girls recently. One girl is on paper a perfect match. She's masc and has the same hobbies and she's pretty based politically. The other is not at all what i thought I'd be into. She's an SJW artist with the most obnoxious opinions but she's so hot I'm so into her. I know logically I should pursue a relationship with the person I agree with more and is more stable but damn this pink haired crazy chick is so hot.

No. 285812

Fuck the pink one and get it out of your system and then get with the based masc.

No. 285820


You don’t hang around enough early 20s straight girls. They ALWAYS joke about fucking each other, or at the very least “marrying” their bff and being wives. That’s the whole point. That it’s a joke. They don’t mean it. It’s universally agreed that het girls can talk about fucking anime women all day, but if they only fuck men irl, it means the woman is straight. It’s the same with lesbians joking about anime men. You cannot compare lines on a screen to a real life man. Especially the anime man I posted about, who literally looks like a woman and was originally a woman.

I stg some lolcow lesbians are so autistic and ready to argue that they genuinely can’t tell the difference between a fauxbian that thirsts for irl cock vs a JOKE about blowing an anime man. Do you guys need tone indicators like the autistic Aidens? Would a silly little /j be enough to indicate a joke? /question /passive aggressive /teasing /negative (just in case people can’t read this one either)

No. 285821


For her again. And before nonas get any ideas, no I haven't been pining after her for years. I had a nice long-term relationship that lasted a few years and we broke up on good terms after coming to terms with the fact that we wanted different things in life.

I know it's not much coming from a random anon on an imageboard but I'm so sorry that happened to you and her

No. 285824

Ok sweetie keep "joking" about blowing dudes. I'm sure everyone claps when you do that.

No. 285825

>They ALWAYS joke about fucking each other, or at the very least “marrying” their bff and being wives.
I swear straight women act more gay than lesbians oftentimes, kek. They don't have any inhibition making outrageous jokes and even doing gay shit as a joke, exactly because they're not attracted to women. They don't have any internalized shame and don't think it could ever possibly be taken seriously, because the whole idea of it is preposterous in their mind, so to them it's no big deal.

No. 285829

>They ALWAYS joke about fucking each other, or at the very least “marrying” their bff and being wives.
Sure but I've never heard of straight women joking about eating their girl friend's pussy or flicking their beans. It's when you make it sexual, specifically focusing on their genitalia, then that's what makes it gay, or in your case hetero.

No. 285830

File: 1662490646439.jpg (12.89 KB, 266x266, 74bfTGrD_400x400.jpg)

I've never heard of lesbians making jokes about uh… "sucking the skin off someone's cock", just like you don't hear straight girls making "jokes" about how they'd suck a girl's clit. If they do make jokes about sleeping with women, it's more vague and they don't actually sound like they're thirsting after a woman's genitalia.
It's not illegal to be bi, you know.

No. 285831

Just leave it be, there's no point in arguing with them because they want to act obtuse and dense about it.

nta but almost all lesbians that I've met have testified that they feel uncomfortable just touching or even complimenting other women in fears of being seen as predatory for this reason alone. It's a real thing.

No. 285845

File: 1662495387115.jpeg (157.26 KB, 1019x1532, 8B485341-FCC6-4AF5-BD02-206C15…)

Can we stop talking about anime boy discourse and talk about lesbian stuff again?

No. 285849

Sure. So with my gf I've been working more on technique with my mouth but I think sometimes she's impatient and doesn't let go. She wants to get off the same way every time and I wanna try new random ways. I'll have a conversation about that when she's off her period, for now I'll just use my hands anyway since I can't do the super iron-y flavor. Wish I could get into vampire mode. She's been talking about "arresting me" which is a delightfully vanilla idea of spice so I think I'll let her, even though she is physically weaker.

No. 285888

Who watched adachi and shimura and found it relatable

No. 285948

File: 1662529787251.jpg (196.24 KB, 1111x803, gentlemanjackcancelled.jpg)

https://bringbackgentlemanjack.com/ butch bros, we gotta bring it back

No. 285980

nonnies im kinda bummed. my girlfriend is extremely sensitive to taste and textures so she doesn’t like eating pussy. this doesn’t bother me at all but she also doesn’t really like having her pussy eaten. i respect it but i also like eating pussy so much.

No. 286003

End it wtf. If it were mutual then whatever but hell no to zero oral just because she's autistic.

No. 286027

It'd be better if you end it. I can't handle oral for very personal reasons, and I wouldn't want to deprive someone who wanted to do that with me when I can't give it.

No. 286034

we’ve been together for four years and we’re really happy so it’s not something i want to end the relationship over. i just wanted to quickly vent. i don’t really mind not doing it often but sometimes i really want to eat her out but i don’t ever want her to feel pressured by me or to let me do it out of obligation so i don’t tend to ask her if i can. besides from that we have really satisfying sex

No. 286039

That makes sense. Personally I worry any partner I have won't be fulfilled since it's a huge boundary for me, so I'm likely just projecting.

Though I don't like the assumption that not wanting to be eaten out is just autism or insecurity (not something you said but it's a sentiment I've seen in the past when talking to other lesbians), it can be for a lot of lesbians, but it just gives me flashbacks to a past relationship and until I can afford to go back to therapy it's just something that won't be on the table for me.

No. 286045

Well, I called it autism because I've only ever seen aversion to perfectly normal things like eating pussy, citing texture and taste as reasons, from autistic women. If it was trauma or something she wouldn't be calling herself sensitive to taste and texture.

No. 286144

File: 1662570410117.jpg (108.89 KB, 567x1080, e50d5088fc0a02879146e4446cb6dd…)

I need fashion tips from butch nonnies. I would like to wear more masc clothes but I have big hips and no tits. Sportwear don't work for me and baggy tops just cling to my hips and look weird. I'm a bit lost and I have short leg so I'm scared to look as dwarfed as pic related

No. 286163

Why is it such a controversial statement to say that it is not possible for a lesbian to feel, at any point in her life, attraction towards a male? Comphet is not real. I understand going on a date, or even kissing a dude. That immediately should make you go 'eww this is not for me'. But to go as a far as to have actual sex with him? No way. You had so much time to figure out this is not for you

No. 286168

I wear t shirts or button ups tucked in to my fitted jeans and suspenders. Obv I wear doc martens as well because I’m that type of gay. Probably going to cut my hair short again. Guess I’d call myself more of a soft butch but I think suspenders look great on small chests.

No. 286169

Try skinny bottoms with a higher waist and baggy cropped tops? They would make your legs look longer. I have the same body shape and that's my go-to style.

No. 286172

Shorter tops, doesn't have to be crop but it should end before it hits your widest part. I like to buy men's shirts and cut them shorter. Can be baggy, you don't want to cinch the waist though if you're trying to present masc. You can tuck it in any way you like as well. Shorts should be slightly higher waist than the ones tall women wear, make sure the hem ends at the skinnier part of your thigh, past the thick fleshy bit so you conceal a but of your softness. Skinny bottoms + baggy crop top can also work as other anon said but it will read as feminine on a curvy frame, imo the top should be long if you're gonna combine it with something like tight bike shorts.

No. 286209

Fitted shorter top with slightly longer open shirt, jacket or whatever helps me with concealing hips a bit and dealing with the whole fabric clinging in the wrong places situation. I'm not exactly an expert though, I probably look like a fashion disaster.

No. 286316

why is this repressed bishit bringing up males

No. 286322

my best friend (15+ years) has gone down the gender rabbit hole and is now in a throuple with this other gayden who doesn't pass and this bisexual twink. shes on t injections and will probably get top soon. i need to cut contact but this is breaking my heart. i used to love her in high school. today is my 22nd birthday and she wont stop calling me and im just letting it ring. idk shes been fucking w me subtly for so long and i need to move on but it hurts. i dont know what to do with the memories i have. i know her phone number by heart and her birthday by heart and the secrets she told me when we were 10 years old. what am i going to do with all these things?

No. 286403

File: 1662631011484.jpeg (257.76 KB, 950x2000, 097L16230_8VK76.jpg.webrend.12…)


thanks you so much nonnies, so much suggestions! The double layering is clever, will look up what I already have and think it trought. I have like this body shape with hips which start high so it's a bit difficult to dress without sinching my waist.

No. 286423

You're not gonna make it as a masc if you're this interested in fertility goddess humblebragging.

No. 286429

lmao nonna, I meant I have the same weird top heavy hip. I know I'm never gonna look like a fit masculine butch lesbian but I would like to be able to wear more practical outfits without looking like an absolute potato.

No. 286433

Tbh most butches aren't like the ones you see on instagram. A lot of masc presenting women actually have lush figures like you.

No. 286465

I hate radfems. Currently watching women I used to follow who started off with reasonable gender critical takes going full 'gays are groomers!' tradthots. Wondering if we're better off with trannies since at the very least they won't criminalize homosexuality. We might not be allowed to talk about homosexuality or call ourselves homosexuals but at least I'd legally be allowed to cohabitate with a fellow Person of Vulva.