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File: 1750203876256.jpg (51.67 KB, 1280x718, But_I'm_A_Cheerleader007.jpg)

No. 580159

Unsure if you're actually straight? Actually gay? Anything in between? Ask for advice here.

Also welcome are "late bloomers" who realized their true selves long after their teen years who'd like to share their experience and tell others what signs to look out for.

Please be kind to questioning anons, no matter how "obvious" it might seem to you what they are.

Thread #1: >>153246
Thread #2: >>344673
Thread #3: >>430575

No. 580316

can you be asexual if you can get off but not very easily and dont experience sexual attraction to individuals

No. 580318

>>580316
Asexuality isn't real. You just have low libido and it's not a big deal. You don't HAVE to have sexual attraction. As long as it doesn't get in the way of your life, you're fine.

No. 580326

>>580318
Nta but if straights are heterosexual and gays are homosexual, what do you call someone who dont experience sexual attraction??

No. 580334

>>580326
Nta but in my experience talking with people, someone lacking in sexual attraction usually points to them suffering bullying (including being hit by parents) or sexual abuse, that suppresses any desires for sexual attraction because the body associates physical touch and sex with pain and degradation instead of love and bonding. I've even met a man like this who I'd describe as functionally asexual and even he had suffered sexual abuse when I dug deeper.

No. 580344

>>580326
Gay and autistic tbh

No. 580430

>>580326
Plenty of women in straight relationships don't feel attracted to their husbands but are still straight.

No. 580442

>>580430
They still feel attraction to people though, just not their husbands

No. 580455

>>580430
This doesn't sound like a relationship it sounds like imprisonment

No. 580462

>>580334
>>580430
gonna go against the grain here and say i do believe in asexuality. or at least temporary asexuality, like the state some children have if they don’t express any attraction before puberty. if you have not ever expressed attraction to anyone, you are neither heterosexual homosexual nor bisexual. pretty simple imo.

No. 580468

>>580316
how are you getting off if you don't feel sexual attraction? just because you can't do it very easily doesn't mean you're not horny at all

No. 580469

>>580468
nta but that’s not very useful seeing as there are straight women who get off to women’s bodies in porn. plus some people masturbate without thinking of literally anything

No. 580470

>>580468
NTA but I focus on the sensations my body is feeling, I don't need to be attracted to another person for that

No. 580472

>>580468
If you touch your clit it'll react

No. 580473

>>580468
The only time i made myself come I wasn’t thinking of anything at all, just pure sensation. I am not asexual though.

No. 580480

>>580468
AYRT, faceless blobs and probably early porn exposure

No. 581363

Are nerdy women like on here who are very horny for the male body outliers, or do most straight/bi women like this and a lot of them are repressed, low libido or just lying? On lolcow or other places full of female nerds women get very horny for men, but if you look at normie spaces (like reddit kek), there's a lot of straight women who claim they never notice or feel interest in men and just like their boyfriends as people and seem neutral or bored by the male form. I wonder if that's just a normal way for women's OSA to be or if they've all been psyopped or just aren't horny enough to realize what they like.
I know I am bi, but can't imagine ever finding a man cute or sexy or being excited by seeing his body. I can feel intense sexual desire just by looking at a woman I find attractive, women's curves activate my monkey brain and make me want them sexually, but this doesn't happen for men at all. For faces a male face never makes me get butterflies or feel infatuated either, that only happens with women.
I can only see men's bodies sexually in a purely utilitarian sense, like "yes he does have all the functioning body parts needed for intercourse, yes his body is indeed man shaped". It makes me not really have any "taste" in men because the aesthetic part of how beautiful or ugly they are does nothing for me either way. I don't get how you could enjoy objectifying them because it feels boring and a little gross to me, I've tried. This confuses me so much.

No. 581368

>>581363
normie straight women who lust after men tend to be in gay/faghag type spaces, like gossip sites

reddit women are a peculiar brand of pickmes for ugly undesirable men

No. 581391

Am I bisexual or do I just fetishize lesbians in the way straight men do?

No. 581399

>>581391
Elaborate nona how would we know

No. 581411

>>581363
I don't think women on reddit are necessarily normie or even women kek, could easily be some incel/troll farmer larping. I have normie non nerdy het friends and several of them express lustful feelings towards moids, but I think your experience is also pretty common. And some women settle for moids they aren't sexually attracted towards. I'm one of those "nerdy women horny for the male body" but that doesn't mean any man will do. When one catches my eye though Idk how to describe but I physically long for it, hugging/touching/smelling it and so on. I have never felt the same way about female bodies.

No. 581420

>>581411
Yeah I know you're probably right about reddit women kek.
>When one catches my eye though Idk how to describe but I physically long for it, hugging/touching/smelling it and so on.
That's so interesting to me since I never felt that way for a man's body even the few times when I was interested in one, I've only felt that for women.

No. 581449

>>581363
this is a question ive had for so long kek. worded perfectly

No. 581466

>>581420
Ayrt. Yes it's interesting to me in how varying degrees same sex attraction in women can be expressed (I assume you are attracted to men in some capacity considering you said you are bi). Even before I became sexually aware I loved moid smell. I would inherit clothes from the son of one of my mother's friends and when I got them I remember those clothes always had that neat clean boy smell although I didn't know what it was at the time kek. I feel a bit weird in retrospect considering I was like 9 yo at the time and he was probably 13, but I think I am just a cursed super straight. I would also spray my father's shaving cream into my hand just because it smelled nice, I had no idea what it was. My attraction towards moids kicked into high gear during my late teens and I would feel sexually frustrated when playing moid characters in 3rd person jrpgs (that V-shape) or while watching boxing matches on tv because I was still an unkissed untouched virgin back then and there would be sweaty half naked moids clinching which was so intimate and erotic to me lol

No. 581491

>>581466
Nta, but your post sounds crazy to me, I can't believe that you felt that way when you were so young. Moid sweat… Not judging though. Altough as an adult I still dgaf about smells and physicality(?) of men AND women, even though I'm more attracted to female bodies. I don't even long for touching anybody in real life. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that while I was a teenager, I never managed to get even a short-lived crush on a real person and indulged in maladaptive daydreaming instead. Or maybe I was born defective or smth, because I felt indifferent even about platonic physical intimacy with friends\classmates and family members since I was very little.

No. 581500

>>581491
Yeah like I said I think it's interesting how different people are. Those clothes I inherited were clean when I got them lol but the smell still kinda lingers. Come to think of it I think I had a normal level of being affectionate as a kid, but I remember once puberty hit I had a phase lasting several years where I was annoyed by physical touch. Then it was like a switch flipped again when I got into my late teenage years and I started craving it. So maybe I can sort of understand.

No. 581502

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>>581466
Yeah it's interesting, I'm not as smell oriented as you but one of my first memories of sexual attraction was sitting behind a very pretty girl in school and wanting really badly to lean forward and smell her more, and having no idea why I felt that way kek.
>I assume you are attracted to men in some capacity considering you said you are bi
picrel is just some reddit incel scrote's rant that got posted on /ot/ a little while ago, but what it describes is mostly accurate for how I experience attraction to men. Whenever I've had sexual desires involving men I'm mostly getting aroused by the idea of me experiencing that kind of sex, and the man is like a prop making that happen and not interesting by himself. It seems pretty common for women but most of them seem to find at least a few men attractive or hot for real compared to me. OSA came later for me than SSA and I feel like it didn't grow in properly.

No. 581504

>>581502
Oh no, not the autogynephiles kek. I read a similar media qritique piece on reddit, written by an autogynephile, except the angle was because of something something media portrayals moids don't feel inherently sexual like women do, but their sexual desire is dependent on women in a voyeuristic way or something like that. As an appreciator of the male physique I would love for moids to show off more, so I thought it was a shame straight moids don't see themselves as capable of being inherently erotic. I do think there is a kernel of truth to women enjoying feeling desired, but in my experience moids enjoy this too. Also seems weird that women would assumably be able to carnally yearn for other female bodies but not moid bodies. Sorry for the rambly reply. I think it's an interesting discussion

No. 581506

>>581491
Nta but you sound like me too, I never had a crush as a teen (or even now as a 32 year old) and I don't long for physical intimacy, I don't get when people say they are touch starved, this is such an alien concept to me.

No. 581525

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Do you think dreams mean anything? I’ve recently been going through it as a “straight” woman who experienced an unexpected “exception” (who was unfortunately straight, hence heartbreak). I’ve been clinging onto my fantasies about her for a long time even though it’s been painful, but I realized over the weekend I had to let my passion for her go. I’ve had a hard time doing this because she’s the only woman I ever felt this way about and I didn’t want the feelings to end. I had previously thought about maybe trying to search for another woman I could be attracted to on an app or something, but I knew the odds were very slim. So this weekend along with deciding to let my crush go, I also decided to leave behind my pipe dream about finding another “exception” and accept reality. It was hard and depressing to make that decision but ultimately the pain of the fantasies and the hoping was too much after three years of it.

Then last night, after finally making the decision the previous day, I had a dream about playing a reciprocal game of cat and mouse with another woman. In the dream I wanted to kiss her but was also enjoying the game of will-we-won’t-we. It was exciting to pretend we didn’t want each other while secretly both being aware of the excitement between us. In the end I did finally get to kiss her, and then I woke up.

Why did I have this dream right after I finally made my decision? Is my subconscious trying to tell me something, or is it just the final throes of my delusions after I dealt them the killing blow? Is this the angel or is it the devil on my shoulder? Or is it nothing at all since dreams are ultimately meaningless amalgamations of waking thoughts?

No. 581536

>>581525
I would not put value in the meanings of dreams, I've had incest dreams and sex dreams with ugly men and lolcows like Bossmanjack of all people, meanwhile I never dream of my husbandos.

No. 581541

>>581536
But did you enjoy the incest and ugly man dreams?

No. 581544

>>581525
If you enjoyed the dream yes, if not then no.
You're clearly bi nona regardless of how rarely you find women you're attracted to.

No. 581549

>>581536
I use to have dreams where I kissed or got kissed by a woman but I turned out straight in the day.

No. 581556

>>581541
Lol no

No. 581583

>>581502
Where on /ot/ was this discussed? I find the topic interesting

No. 581592

>>581583
The reddit hate thread

No. 581628

>>581549
Did you enjoy kissing women in the dreams but not in real life?

No. 581649

I'm equally disinterested in men and women

No. 581661

>>581525
If you just dreamed once about a woman it doesn’t mean anything, I also dreamed of shitting myself once but it means something.
If you just fell in love with this exception you might be one of those bi women who will take any scrote that came crawling from the pits of hell but have impossibly picky standards for women. That’s my sentence, next.

No. 581724

are women actually attracted to men? are most het women borderline asexual and only have sex to shut their moids up?

No. 581726

>>581724
Feminism would exist if women didn’t like men. People like to ask if sexuality is innate regarding homosexuality, but the very proof of that is not in faggots or lesbian women, it’s in heterosexual women.

No. 581732

>>581724
In my opinion some women overestimate the amount of non-lesbian women who aren't attracted to males at all and only stay with their nigels because of social pressure. Maybe the amount of "super-straights" who are extremely obsessed with moid sweat and musk is relatively small, but most bihet women are genuinely attracted to male bodies at least to some extent. Tbh, I also think that even the women that you've described "become" borderline asexual after trauma, medication use(I don't think all SSRI's and shit are evil btw, but that' off-topic) or forcing themselves to be sexual with moids that are ugly as sin. Their behaviour could change. I knew some women who seemed asexual to me and I couldn't imagine them expressing sexual interest in males without a gun next the their heads, but after some time of knowing them they started objectifying husbandos and even some 3dpd moids out of the blue.

No. 581734

>>581661
I used to have a lot of dreams about my crush and it might sound dumb but I regard those dreams as some of the happiest moments in my life. This was the first one about a woman who wasn’t her. It’s true that I have been attracted to many more men in my life. The problem is, I liked her so much more than any man I crushed on in the past. Calling what I felt for her a crush feels like it’s not even an accurate descriptor for how much my fantasies of her took over my life. I’ve never felt that way before and I think that’s why it’s taken me so long to let go, and why I’m so depressed. My feelings for this woman dwarfed anything I’ve ever felt for a guy. Due to that, now I’m not even interested in men anymore. So I’m feeling really broken and confused. I guess I’m finding it really difficult to imagine going the rest of my life without ever feeling that way again. Previously I was hurting myself by hoping for lightning to strike twice, and so I made the decision to feel a lot of pain now by shutting down that hope instead of suffering prolonged pain from searching and finding nothing. But then I had that dream and it’s making me feel like maybe I’m making the wrong choice. I wish I could be normal, I’m so tired of going through this. Sometimes I halfway wish I never encountered her because I would still be normal, but then even though that would mean I never would have had to experience so much pain, it would also mean I never would have experienced that kind of love, so I can’t really wish it away.
>>581549
Did it excite you in the dream? How did you figure out what you felt in the dream wasn’t real? Sometimes I wonder if it’s all in my head and that’s why I’m going so crazy.

No. 581735

>>581734
Nona this is beyond the scope of this thread but I think you should just live your life and focus on yourself without making dramatic conclusions about what you will or won't experience again. There's more to life than intense infatuations.

No. 581755

>>580159
i really really wish i knew whether i was actually bisexual or not. i have no real life experience with anyone due to being ugly and autistic and poorly socialized as a child, and lack of understanding of my body means i have no idea how to masturbate or test what makes me horny. i’ve had a number of crushes on anime boys which is why i was pretty insistent about being heterosexual as a young teen, then pivoted into calling myself bi as an older teenager into gendie shit because you know how tumblr is about “”straight people”” kek, i wanted to fit in. but i never felt any attraction to actual moids or moids in american television/cartoons, something about their voices and personality and mannerisms were disgusting to me. bishonen anime boys were just better and for a while i also beat myself up over “fetishizing asian men” lmao. then in my junior year of hs i developed an all-consuming crush on my gendie TIF friend who dressed masc and had a cute short haircut and i was so overwhelmingly obsessed with her and thinking about dating her and having sex with her and also just her mind and sense of humor and laugh and the way she wrote. but looking back on those feelings now it’s hard for me to figure out whether it was an actual crush or me just wanting to be LIKE her because she was cool. i feel like my frequent fantasies of having sex with her or eating her out (which i then tried to shove down as much as possible because i felt ashamed “objectifying” a real person instead of a drawing) and then also the fact that i was such a deranged menhera about her ever paying attention to anyone that wasn’t me (i like frequently had private sobbing meltdowns whenever she appeared even a little bit distant from me lmao) indicates that it was real attraction but at the same time because my sense of sexuality was so fucked i have no idea if i was just misinterpreting my desire to be like her or something. i also as a kid had crushes on fictional women but just considered it emulation on a similar level and as an adult now i cant help but feel like the way i feel about these women is just pickme NLOG bullshit. i feel like the SSA women i know both in real life and online have an innate sense of what women actually like in other women and what’s scrote bullshit, and ive always felt guilty because my attraction to full female figures breasts hips etc (gnc crush in high school aside) feels like invisible personal moid pandering kek, like those women online who defend anime toddlers with tits or larp as lolicons for male attention. i’m not a lolicon fucking obviously but i find unrealistic exaggerated female bodies attractive and feel a lot of shame about that it’s so scrote-y

i wish i just knew if i was actually bisexual or a straight woman larping. i need something that will just tell me definitively

No. 581756

>>581724
Yes they are, but the average straight/bihet woman has terrible taste in men.

No. 581757

>>581755
Straight women don't fantasize about eating pussy, you are bi, it's not that complicated. Finding the female figure hot is also not scrote shit kek

No. 581759

>>581755
>my frequent fantasies of having sex with her or eating her out
I dunno, sounds straight as fuck. But really, if you're afraid of being a straightoid larping as a bishit, you can just play safe and call yourself straight regardless of your preferences and fantasies. It's not like you're dating a woman right now, if I'm not mistaken, so identifying as straight won't seem strange to others.
>>581757
No, finding women's breasts, full hips and thighs hot is clearly a scrote thing and brainwashing by the media haha. We MUST make our preferences subversive or else the world will end. Trve and honest SSA women only find zipper tits attractive.

No. 581761

>>581759
i guess the issue is that i’d love to be in a relationship someday, and would never date a man because if i was bisexual i’d be a febfem regardless. and i don’t want to accidentally string a lesbian along if it turns out i’m actually straight, but i can’t help but desperately want a loving relationship with another woman. it probably doesn’t matter though because I’ll die alone regardless lmao
>>581757
i mean idk you hear lots of stories about how straight women get off to lesbian porn and i spent a long time convincing myself that was me and my attraction to pussy was just like a bizarre projection of my own desire to orgasm unhindered. but who fucking knows

No. 581764

>>581761
Just don't pursue a relationship with lesbians and only date bisexual women then.

No. 581767

>>581761
Straight women who get off to lesbian porn aren't fantasizing about actually having lesbian sex, and if they are then they are just closeted. I think the amount of women who watch that is exaggerated by porn sites anyway.

No. 581925

I'm straight but sometimes question if I'm asexual. I have never looked at a man (nor woman just to be clear) and thought he looked "sexy" or felt "I want to sleep with him". Even while actively in love with said man. I still get butterflies and fall in love and feel horny in general, it's just not ever been activated by looking at another person if that makes sense? It scares me tbh, I feel like something is wrong with me.

No. 581931

>>581925
Do you get butterflies from fictional characters and fall in love with them then?

No. 581938

does wanting to kiss someone count as sexual attraction?

No. 581945

>>581938
The act of kissing does not have to be sexual. If the act of kissing includes other acts of intimacy, then yes. If not, no.

No. 581947

>>581938
I think so because hear me out, I'm not sexually confused and I wouldn't want to kiss someone I'm not sexually attracted towards. We don't kiss socially in my culture tho, but I think there's a difference between kissing because of social customs and wanting/fantasizing about kissing someone

No. 581948

I used to not believe in asexual shit until I realized I was asexual.
It sucks, and I'm still kind of in denial about it.

Most """asexuals""" are just kids who haven't had sex yet and are like "I'm ace because sex is ew gross icky!!" or people who want to have that """"special rare"""" sexuality label. It's dumb af.

I've had sex plenty before I realized and always wondered what the big deal was? Hell, I've even had "good sex" before and still was like "I could just get off by myself?" Lol
I had sex because I knew that, as a woman, it was basically expected of me. So I went along with it because it's "just what people in relationships do".

I'd like to have a partner, but it's not really feasible for asexual people, tbh (unless you are dating another asexual, ig? But the word "asexual" now apparently includes people who want to have sex LOL so go figure).

Here's why it sucks: if you want to be in a relationship, they're gonna wanna have sex. It's a bond thing, I guess. And if you don't have sex with them, they'll think they're undesirable and become super insecure.

It sucks.

But anyhow, if you're curious about asexual shit, feel free to ask, I guess. I don't speak for everyone, but I'll answer what I know for myself, at least.

No. 581950

>>581947
Lol kissing isn't sex.

The desire for a bond / to get closer with someone ≠ sexual attraction.

Desiring to have sex with someone = sexual attraction.
Some people have to form a bond with someone before they start feeling sexual attraction, and that's fine, too.

No. 581951

>>581950
It's possible but personally i've never desired to kiss someone just for bonding or getting closer, i could never dream of doing it to someone i don't find sexually attractive. That's my two cents

No. 581955

>>581951
Samefag i can't believe i forgot this. I actually was not sexually attracted to my first bf (he was not a gross uggo we just lacked chemistry). We used to kiss and have sex for intimacy and i still enjoyed the sensation, but i never desired/fantasized about him. I am straight and have no problem fantasizing about moids i find attractive

No. 581956

>>581951
Oooo you nasty.
What's next? Holding hands??

No. 581962

>>581947
Bad take. Mothers kiss their children, there are cultures that kiss to greet friends. Kissing is not and never was innately sexual.

No. 581964

>>581950
Nta. I wouldn't want to swap spit with randos that I don't find sexually attractive to bond with them or whatever. How would this even go? Two people that aren't attracted to each other at all will have to keep frenching until some of them suddenly be like "wow, now we've bonded enough and I'm attracted to them".
>Desiring to have sex with someone = sexual attraction
I'm not sure about that. What about people who are cursed with cuck sexuality kek. Also, this line of thinking makes some women believe that they are asexual or lesbian because they don't want to fuck irl males for various reasons, even though they find males sexually attractive, have husbandos with literal cocknballs, consoom porn with males in it, and they don't even see any contradictions between their labels and behaviours.

No. 581965

>>581964
Kissing is not akin to swapping spit. Making out and a peck on the cheek or lips is not remotely similar. It's more interesting that your mind immediately jumps to something sexual in nature instead of a simple gesture like a kiss on the cheek, like are the lot of you this fried

No. 581966

>>581965
Nta, but OP said
>does wanting to kiss someone count as sexual attraction?
While there are non-sexual situations where people kiss (as with other expressions of physical affection), I believe wanting to, as in fantasizing about, kissing someone is an expression of sexual attraction. Do you often think about how much you want to kiss your friends or family members?

No. 581967

>>581965
I don't want to kiss randos or even my female friends on the cheek either, that still kinda gross… To me personally, I'm not judging anyone. I just think that there are other ways to bond platonically.

No. 581985

This discussion is interesting because I remember a few years ago anons were insisting that Henry Cavill was 200% gay for kissing his male friends on the cheek kek

No. 581991

>>581985
I don't think kissing someone on the cheek or even the mouth like those soccer players is automatically gay, but if Henry Cavill regularly daydreams about kissing his moid friends then it's def a lil gay

No. 582081

>>581966
AYRT, no, i've never wanted/fantasized about anything like that before.

No. 582525

Apologies if this doesn’t go here.
In a lot of D/S relationships, lines blur and the dynamic becomes a permanent thing (lack of respect basically). Would that happen, theoretically, if it were two women instead of a man and a woman?

No. 582535

>>582525
We don’t do that here.

No. 582536

>>581363
I fear it's controversial saying this here but i feel the same way you do about attraction just the inverse of it

No. 582538

>>581761
>Straight women getting off to lesbian porn
Nonna…

No. 582542

>>582538
nta but it's a relatively common claim

No. 582827

I've been telling everyone I'm bi though I've never actually dated a woman. I've been attracted to specific women before and look for women on dating apps. Currently I really like a woman at work but I'm pretty sure shes straight. I'll fantasise about these women and daydream about us meeting in a different environment and we make out and I eat her out etc. It makes me hornier than thinking about men, yet it rarely actually takes me over the edge. I'll also flirt if I feel like I'm getting some vibes but I'm incredibly shy to actually cross the line and ask them out of even if they like women. With men im direct and dont really hesitate because dick is abundant. The 2 factors (not actually finishing thinking of women, never actually asking women out) really has me questioning. I'm not super vocal about being bi but when the question comes up in conversation then I feel like it's hiding to say I'm straight.

No. 582829

>>582827
You are definitionally bi but you are also what people would call a bihet who is not seriously into women.

No. 582837

>>582829
Actually I can see that because I'm never fantasising about building a life with women. Well, maybe a little, not in depth/marriage etc. What do you think is the most ethical way forward?

No. 582838

>>582837
Nta but I don't think sexuality is "ethical", it just is. A Catholic lesbian who became a nun isn't any less of a lesbian just because she's never had sex with a woman. So if you're bi then you're bi. But I think the real question is, if you don't have any actionable interest in women romantically or sexually, then what benefit does the bi label give you? Imo openly labeling your sexuality only really matters if you're single and signaling to your desired demographics.

No. 582878

>>582827
>>582837
it's weird to me that you can't finish thinking about your supposed crushes, and don't picture a life with them. I'm 99% straight but for my one female crush who was my exception, I was losing sleep to the point of ill health giving myself many orgasms a night thinking about her, and I wished she could be my wife and shamefully even fantasized about caring for her while she was pregnant. I do think I was crossing the line a bit from crush to creepy obsession but even still, you get what I mean.

It's normal to think women are pretty and to want to be close to them because humans just like pretty people in general, it doesn't mean you want to fuck them.

No. 582947

>>582837
Is it really important to want to build a life with a potential partner though? I'm bi but I don't want to get married or have children, not even cohabitate with anybody.

No. 583005

>>582837
>>582878
>>582947
i'm straight and have no desire to do this with crushes either, does that make me a fake straight kek

No. 583011

>>582947
>>583005
ntayrt but no it’s not. But if you do want to settle down with someone and you only imagine one sex for that it’s kind of obvious which one you like better

No. 583244

Is it possible to be wrong about your sexuality because you're a virgin and imagining it wrong? In my head when I imagine sex with a woman it turns me on and with a man it doesn't, but is it possible this is because I'm not imagining it correctly and it'd be completely different irl?

No. 583599

The thought of having sex with a man kind of grosses me out but turns me on whilst the thought of having sex with a woman makes me feel warm and calm inside but not turned on. What did my body mean by this? I'm probably straight but I still feel a flutter in my heart imagining being nude in the company of a woman and touching her even if I don't want sex. I kind of just want to understand why?

No. 583651

>>583599
Men are gross and scary and women are safe and not gross

No. 583997

What does it mean for my sexuality that I feel very sexually jealous of men? I don't think it's an AAP thing exactly because don't actually want a male body, but I'd like to be able to do what it can do. I'm jealous that they are stronger than their partners and can penetrate them with a part of their body and it feels good for them. I'm jealous of the effect men seem to have on women sexually because I don't feel like I can have that effect on a woman even if she's attracted to me because I am pretty delicate and not at all masculine. Maybe butches get that reaction but I'm not and have no interest in being butch or masculine.

No. 583998

>>583997
When someone is excited to have sex with you, it won't matter how you look. They will be all over that. I understand feeling a bit jealous of men though, I think I'm always going to be bitter that I can't impregnate a woman and start a beautiful family with her. Men don't deserve the privilege of being fathers…

No. 584250

>>583651
unironically are you gay if you think like this and WEREN'T molested?

No. 584253

>>584250
No I don’t think so. It’s a fact that most men don’t clean their ass cracks and are uncaring. Meanwhile women are kinder and cleaner.

No. 584259

>>584250
I'm the original anon and I was not molested just feel like being next to a man is like being next to a different species like a large dog or something.

No. 584260

>>583997
>I'm jealous of the effect men seem to have on women sexually because I don't feel like I can have that effect on a woman even if she's attracted to me because I am pretty delicate and not at all masculine
?? Extremely feminine women also have an effect on women. Not just butches by the way. Do you think most men have any effect on women whatsoever? You said it yourself it's only the case for masculine men, but femininity also works that way. Just enhance your femininity.

No. 584261

>>583997
Sa but also I think it just means you have low sexual confidence

No. 584276

>>583997
If it's any consolation men have objectified themselves so much by objectifying me and other women that I struggle to see them as human. Kind of like "treat others how they wish to be treated" like okay I see moids as massive whores now. Basically I'm glad you're not a moid because you would be a misogynistic freak who would see no issue making sexual jokes every 3 minutes like a broken record (that shit gets old so quickly). Instead, rejoice, for you have a personality that can actually hold an in depth conversation and a brain that can provide intellectual stimulation to another woman. Also penis isn't all that interesting. Porn is the only time moids get to make it look appealing and even then their excretory object is not that powerful that it can make a woman cum, because clitoral stimulation is way more effective. Even on informal polls I've seen done on twitter or tumblr, women there voted oral sex as the most appealing sexual act they wish to receive. Last time I checked both women and men have a tongue. You come across like you have all these self doubts about your ability to please a woman, but you can get rid of those over time by having a relationship with one. You already have a great starting point because you were born female.

Also if this helps, one of the sexiest woman I've met was actually a very slim lesbian woman with a sharp ribcage that jutted out when she laid on her back. She said she also liked slim women for various reasons. We were incompatible in the end but who knows, maybe you'll meet her and she'll take to you?! Basically you'll be fine because there are delicate women 4 delicate women out there.

No. 584282

>>584276
Thank you nona. I think the sexual "capability" I'm most jealous of moids for is that they can easily have sex where you can easily kiss and touch each other and have your full bodies against each other with both hands free. I know you can easily do that with a strap but straps feel a little silly and awkward to me, in general I'm not that into toys. I think it's not fair they have a very easy way to do that just built in.

No. 584292

>>584282
I'm confused because women can do that too by grinding against each other? Why do you worship dick so much? Porn?

No. 584314

>>584292
idk I'm still a virgin and I might just lack imagination. Can you grind on each other at the same time easily without weird acrobatics? With tribbing I assume it's hard to get the right angle to feel good if your bodies are too close together. If you could trib in the missionary position that'd be ideal to me but I think that's either not possible or would be really awkward

No. 584323

>>584282
I feel 100% the same way and it makes me mad. I’m also mad that women can look at their male partner’s genitals and get excited about how it will make their body feel, because make and female parts interlock while female/female just has to settle for awkward doglike humping which sounds terrible to me or oral sex which sounds great to me but then like you say, your face and hands are occupied and so you can’t kiss her and be body to body when doing oral. It’s extremely frustrating to me. It’s impossible to achieve the level of intimacy I want with lesbian sex, I want to be able to actually interlock and make out and caress all at the same time like hetero sex can. I want to be able to pleasure her with my own genitals which I can’t do aside from near impossible scissoring that doesn’t even get you off completely. It’s bullshit. I’m just bitter.

No. 584346

>>584343
I'm the original anon and ntayrt and I don't think any kind of girl/girl sex is inferior or unappealing I just find that specific idea also appealing from a convenience perspective. I do have self esteem issues though

No. 584348

>>584323
Here's why I think this post and a bunch of similar posts about how inferior girl/girl sex is are all a larp designed to hurt the self esteem of women reading this. The person you're claiming to be in this post is a woman who is attracted to women, right? As a woman attracted to women, I find it very easy to look at a woman's genitals and get excited about interacting with them. But you're claiming you're mad and jealous of men because women want to fuck men and not other women. If you were a woman who desired sex with other women, how would you so easily forget that women can desire sex with other women? It's like you forgot you were pretending to be a woman writing the post kek. However, if I met a real woman who said things like "interlocking parts" sex (such a sexy image lmao) was real sexy and female/female sex was "awkward and doglike," then her whole sexuality questioning issue would be simple to solve because it would be obvious she's straight. If a woman is genuinely sitting down and thinking "ugh I'm mad and bitter about what bullshit "awkward" "doglike" lesbian sex is" then she's probably not a lesbian or even a bisexual who's tragically hamstrung by how awful lesbian sex is. She's just straight.
>>584282
I think the point of all the posts across multiple threads that say "I'm a True And Honest Lesbian but I'm frustrated and mad that I'll never get to have heterosexual sex with a penis in a vagina because I'll never be able to satisfy a woman like a man can" even though that makes no sense is that sex between real women is inferior to heterosexual sex with a troon.

No. 584353

>>584348
There's a woman on reddit with homosexual OCD that's constantly going into lesbian subreddits to talk about how worried she is about being a lesbian and how disgusting vaginas and vulva-on-vulva grinding must be. These posts remind me of her.

No. 584364

>>584353
Nta but I know the person you’re talking about and I’ve been trying to call this out here for a while and nonnas keep getting mad about it. Shit is fucking weird.

No. 584365

>>584348
Thanks for scrotefoiling me. There are a lot of women who feel the way I do, wishing it away won’t make it not a thing that many women struggle with these feelings. And I don’t know how you got “doesn’t want to interact with female genitalia” from a post wherein I literally talked about how I enjoy eating pussy but it’s clear you have a tinfoil hat you’re not willing to take off and a theory about who I am that nothing I can say to you will change, so whatever. I know there are other women know what I mean.

No. 584369

>>584365
>am I right fellow women?
I know what you are.(scrotefoiling)

No. 584372

>>584323
>female/female just has to settle for awkward doglike humping
If anything, PIV(I hate this name for it btw, so cringy…) het sex resembles dogs fucking much more than strap-free lesbian sex.

No. 584392

>>584365
>There are a lot of women who feel the way I do
The idea of there being these huge groups of women who are out there fucking women and feeling "extremely frustrated" by gay sex "because your face and hands are occupied and so you can't kiss her" is so funny. That is the sort of lie you tell when you are a 12 year old who does not quite understand how sex works, or I suppose when you're a man who will never understand what gay women like. But more importantly, since this is the Questioning Sexuality thread:
>It’s impossible to achieve the level of intimacy I want with lesbian sex
You claim to find lesbian sex disappointing emotionally. It's "extremely frustrating." It makes you "mad." You're "bitter."
>I’m also mad that women can look at their male partner’s genitals and get excited about how it will make their body feel
You claim to find female bodies disappointing physically. You say that women can look at male genitals and get excited, but women can't feel that way about women's genitals. Remember, you're claiming to be a woman, so if you were excited by women's bodies, you wouldn't find it impossible for women to be excited by women's bodies.
>I want to [do all these things that I associate only with] hetero sex
If these were real thoughts, you'd be straight. Even if you thought boobs were really cool, even if you were out there sleeping with women but then being "extremely frustrated" by the sex never quite measuring up to what you want.
Actually, congratulations: I finally believe that a woman could post this. This sounds like Closeted Heterosexual Fanny Perret logic.

No. 584413

>>584392
You are so insufferable. I could take a bad faith interpretation of everything you say too, but I don't, because I'm not insufferable. Love how you continuously skip over everything I said relating to being intensely attracted to women. Honestly it just sounds like you were so angry about my post for some reason that you feel compelled to write these essays convincing yourself I'm a scrote, or straight, or trolling. And also, because you seem to imply this in your post: I am not questioning my sexuality just because I replied to someone itt, much like you are (I assume) also not questioning. Basic things like that you even twist. Just ridiculous behavior in my opinion.

No. 584416

>>584413
I didn't skip any of that because I don't actually see one single sentence about being attracted to women, only a lot about how miserable it is to be incapable of satisfying women. In fact, this sentence seems to imply that women aren't ever attracted to women.
>I’m also mad that women can look at their male partner’s genitals and get excited about how it will make their body feel
Can you explain how this makes any sense if you're attracted to women? Like, is it that you don't look at female partner's genitals or hands or body and get excited about how they feel? Or is it that you think you're the only one on earth who does that?

No. 584421

>>584416
I’m nta and some of what she said was weird but I think she specifically meant not being able to directly physically pleasure another woman with her pussy. I still think it is stupid because you have many other parts you can pleasure a woman with and tribbing isn’t actually impossible, but I don’t think she meant she didn’t get excited by pussy at all.

No. 584423

>>584416
Stop playing dumb, it's obvious what I meant. Two female genitals do not fit together like male/female in the sense that a man can look at a woman's and think about how it will feel on his dick, and a woman can look at a man's and think about what that shape would feel like inside. Sure you can bump clits if you contort yourselves enough but it will not feel much different from rubbing any other body part on the clit. Additionally, it is much harder and more awkward to get two clits in close enough proximity for long enough to actually get off that way. Fingers are good, tongue is good, but it is not inconceivable to imagine how not being able to easily interlock genitals is frustrating when you want a woman so much and want to combine the most sensitive parts to orgasm. This is my last reply to you because I just know you're going to twist everything I said here again due to your own insecurities

No. 584426

>ITT: virgins arguing that sex between women is impossible and het sex is way better
I understand lesbians' frustration with fakebians on a whole new level now.

No. 584428

>>584421
Yeah, I get that that's the claim, it's just that when you date women, you can easily spot the difference between the sorts of inferiority complexes women actually get about not measuring up to men vs. ignorant "how could a woman ever really be satisfied without a dick?" comments from straight people who just don't know what lesbians want, and in the questioning sexuality thread, I think it's worth it for girls who are actually questioning to know that if you're disappointed by the idea of having sex with women, that's a sign you are not sexually attracted to that gender, and if you're constantly fantasizing about sex with men and you think that's the pinnacle of closeness and intimacy, that's a good sign you are attracted to that gender. Intellectually wanting to be with women because it's woke or because men are gross isn't what defines our sexuality, it's about being turned on by and wanting sex with them. I know a lot of people here are skeptical about women who come out as gay after having a high school or college boyfriend, but it's actually a really common gay experience to date a woman for the first time and find that the sex is emotionally satisfying, fulfilling, and arousing on a level that sex with previous boyfriends never was, and this is something that you encounter pretty often in the real world. It's not like a certain kind of sex is just inherently more satisfying for women–sex with men is only satisfying if you're sexually attracted to men and you feel that connection. That's why I think this particular derail is so glaringly fake.

No. 584430

>>584428
I think those anons aren't fantasizing about fucking men though, they're fantasizing about fucking women as if they're a man. I think that's probably pornbrained but I don't know if it's heterosexual.

No. 584439

>>584430
To be perfectly honest, I actually think that one poster's articulation of the frustration and disappointment, about how you can never be as close and as intimate as you want to be with the kind of sex you're having, sounds a lot like the way pre-gay realization women sound when they talk about sex with men. "Oh I'm just not a sexual person, sex is just never as satisfying or magical for me like the way other people describe it, there's just something undefinable that's missing" etc. Sex and arousal are very psychological: it's not about genitals fitting together like puzzle pieces, it's about truly desiring the person you're with. I think that other person who said she was a virgin could just be inexperienced enough to still not really understand her sexuality though. (Oh, the reason this is relevant to your post is because even if the logic is "I think I want women, but the idea of sex with a woman is just disappointing somehow, I get way more turned on by the idea of heterosexual sex involving a woman, obviously I'm gay but I just recognize how great PIV sex is, and no a strapon could never ever compare" I think it still implies an underlying disappointment with sex with women and speaks to a subconscious desire for heterosexual sex.)

No. 584442

>>584439
I don't know, considering the vast majority of pornographic materials showing women sexually are portraying PIV sex from the male perspective, I don't think it's implausible for a woman with SSA exposed to that from a young age to want to emulate it even if it doesn't make any sense. I do see what you're saying though.

No. 584447

File: 1751595670413.jpeg (718.33 KB, 1381x2000, N7R01Jb.jpeg)

>>584442
Yeah, I could see that nona. At the end of the day, it's a tif-adjacent fantasy to fantasize about sex with a dick, so I guess it comes down to whether someone is the hsts kind of tif or the super straight nlog tif (like picrel kek).

No. 584449

>>584426
reading comprehension detector: 0

No. 584451

>>584426
that or
>straights arguing that sex between women could never actually be intimate or fulfilling

No. 584453

>>584439
so you never wished you could put your clit in the vagina of a woman you love? How is wanting to be able to do something like that "straight"? the lengths you're going to argue anon can't possibly be a real SSA woman over this basic fantasy is kind of nuts.

No. 584455

>>584453
The only way my clit could fit in a pussy is if it was dick sized and I don’t wish I had a dick so no.

No. 584456

>>584453
No, I think it's gay to love sex with women and have all sorts of fantasies about having sex with women. But I don't think it's gay to repeatedly say you're mad, bitter, and extremely frustrated that you can't have penis-in-vagina sex and to suggest that you will literally never be satisfied by lesbian sex by writing
>It’s impossible to achieve the level of intimacy I want with lesbian sex
I genuinely do not think there is any way to be gay while also feeling that it's impossible to achieve the level of intimacy you want with lesbian sex.

No. 584457

>>584423
I'm someone that has at a point in life (virgin teenager) fantasized about being a man to get with women while trying to understand sexuality, but it doesn't make any sense how you see pussy on pussy as something so complicated and sterile instead of extremely arousing.
>it will not feel much different from rubbing any other body part on the clit
I'd say this has a lot to do with body type and experience, or even the amount you are attracted to the woman or the act. It's very different. Anything feels like just bumping parts if you are not into it (and I'm not saying you are a heterosexual).

No. 584459

>>584439
I'm the one who said I was a virgin. To be clear I don't at all feel like sex between women seems lesser or unsatisfying. If I was with a woman there's no way I'd be thinking about any of this, I'd just be into her. Dicks and male/female sex have no appeal to me, but from a detached perspective the functionality of it seems ergonomic, I guess? I don't think it's the pinnacle of intimacy that I need or anything.

No. 584461

>>584456
i'm the anon and I know I said I wouldn't reply but it's like, holy fuck. So okay, your opinion is that wanting to be able to go in a vagina with my own genitals makes me straight. Let's say that's true. You're right! I am straight.
So what do you call a straight woman who has been, for example, sexually obsessed with another woman for years and masturbates only to thoughts of her? If there are a lot of other straight women like this, I would love to join a support group for pussy loving straight women.

No. 584463

File: 1751598463153.jpg (444.84 KB, 1575x2048, 1000082090.jpg)

Can I ask the low self esteem anons (I'm not sure who is who at this point): What's the point in saying "I will never be satisfied having sex with a woman all becuz I don't have a penits" when you haven't even asked what another woman even wants?

In my opinion if you're focusing on your fantasy over actually having sex with another woman then you're being selfish because you're not putting her first and instead putting your fantasy first. Also if you believe that all women desire moids and male genitalia then you're making assumptions about what other women think before they've even had a chance to speak.

What's stopping you from just talking out the kind of sex that would make you both happy at the same time?

Like personally tribbing is arousing. The feel of a woman's vulva hot, wet, and throbbing against my own actually makes me go crazy. The feel of our clits being in contact and applying pressure to one another is a very satisfying feeling, especially when we can feel each other both getting wetter together as a result. Manoeuvring to get into the right position takes getting used to but all sex is like that, you get to learn about yours and your partner's bodies. That's the appeal of being with someone you like. Nothing matters because you're both together in the moment and making love, essentially.

Why does a penetration fantasy suddenly ruin all that potential for connection??

No. 584464

>>584463
nothing to add except that your description of tribbing is highly arousing, thank you nona.

No. 584466

>>584459
For the record I totally respect and understand you and I don't think your original post was trolling or anything. My feelings and fears and so on changed a lot with age and time and experience and that's totally normal. like I distinctly remember being a teenager and thinking that fingering didn't make any sense at all because it didn't feel good to do to myself. some things about the way sex works and turns you on can't be reasoned through intellectually and you only find out through love and sex and dating. it's totally fine.
The thing is, I would have to hunt through old /g/ and /ot/ threads to find example posts but there is a very specific and distinctive tone of post that goes "As A Totally Real Lesbian, I'm SO MAD about how lesbian sex is HORRIBLE and I'll NEVER be happy" where someone will go on and on and on about how frustrated they are that they will never be able to satisfy or impregnate a woman because they don't have a dick and the posts read like they're straight out of the lesbian conversion fetish pages. It's really not the same thing as just not understanding something about sex when you've never had sex, and it reads as very deliberate and obvious. Your post was fine! The other post jumping in to say "yeah, I totally agree! lesbian sex will never be as intimate as sex with a dick will, it's literally impossible" was just too stupid to let slide.
But also, for the record, kissing and body contact and making out are a really big part of sex lmao and kissing is still really fun even when it's not actively happening at the exact same time as oral.

No. 584468

>>584463
I don't find that description or idea arousing, no. I'm not sure why, because I fantasize about eating a woman out, about fingering each other, about watching her masturbate, about strapping, about licking her whole body, biting her neck, making out… but thinking about scissoring or tribbing does nothing for me. I would rather have her pussy in my face or on my hands. Maybe part of it is I am not very excited by clit rubbing and never have been, and tribbing is just like a more awkward way to rub your clit.

As for the "selfish" accusation, it's my fantasy and the other woman isn't real, so why would I be focusing it on the made up person's personal preferences kek? Ladies is it selfish to fantasize about things you personally like? Like what.

No. 584471

>>584461
Idk but maybe it's the same thing that made the straight girl in this comic sleep with women even though she didn't like it >>584447 or all the women who say they're lesbians and then call themselves gay men once they're on testosterone. If you think you're gay but you think gay sex is frustrating, unsatisfying, and will never measure up to PIV, maybe you really like the taboo of being seen as gay but you're not actually gay enough to enjoy the sex for real? Read a lot of fanfiction and think gay people are cooler than straight people? Really enjoyed Glee a lot? I just don't think you do love pussy all that much if you say it can never truly satisfy you tbh.

No. 584475

>>584471
The entire point of the comic is that she never felt any passion for any of the women and was just going through the motions. Actual scenes from the comic for the illiterate among us:
>"I have never had a crush on a girl"
>"Kissing a woman doesn't feel right"
>"I can't feel anything for women"
>"I don't wanna sext with a woman"

So you read that comic, and then read my post where I said "I have a history of being sexually obsessed and masturbating solely to the thought of a woman". and you decided those two things are the same…. somehow. All because I said I am frustrated I can't put my genitals inside a woman.

You're just bullshitting sloppily at this point.

No. 584476

>>584475
>I have a history of being sexually obsessed and masturbating solely to the thought of a woman
Wait, aren't you the same person who posted
>It’s impossible to achieve the level of intimacy I want with lesbian sex
? So masturbation is passionate for you but lesbian sex isn't?

No. 584478

>>584476
Am I speaking french or something? Of course I feel passionate about my crush and masturbating to her. I am sad I don't have the anatomy to use my genitals to feel the inside of her and make her feel good inside and to be able to do easier genital-to-genital sex positions. That is literally all I'm saying. Why this is so mind-boggling and unfathomable to everyone I do not know.

No. 584480

>>584478
Okay this next question is really, really important. are you also the anon who's always posting about how you fell deeply into a life-ruining sexual obsession with only one woman, exactly one woman, and you're heartbroken that nobody else will ever compare and you'll never meet anyone like her in real life so you'll never be happy. but also you won't tell anyone who the woman is?

No. 584483

>>584480
Nta but that fucking anon should see a therapist.

No. 584485

>>584480
my tinfoil is that anon fell for a unique type of tranny and didn't realize it

No. 584486

>>584480
Yes actually, although I'm a bit dramatic because I did have crushes on TIFs in the past.
>>584483
I have seen 3 therapists, wasted thousands of dollars on it actually, and none of them knew what was wrong with me.
>>584485
This woman has given birth so I think we can rule that one out.

No. 584488

>>584486
That explains a lot kek

No. 584491

File: 1751604503275.jpeg (177.42 KB, 680x526, BnX1j5w.jpeg)

>>584486
I see. since you love to make "I'm a lesbian who hates lesbian sex and thinks it's deviant and unnatural and I love straight sex and cock and pregnancy" posts (this is obviously you >>>/g/548641 and probably this too >>>/g/386335 and >>>/g/388144) and that's a retarded thing to do, you can understand why it's really easy for other people to think you're a tif posting about how you want to be a man, or a tim who wants to inform lesbians about how great sex with a penis is, or a polfag or tradthot simply trying to disgust lesbians through constant cockposting and pregnancyposting. but since you're also the person posting about your hyperfixation on a mystery woman absolutely all the time, just maybe, maybe the repetitive phrasing and autist logic were completely genuine all along and you simply have a classic case of Sexual Autism, see picrel. In that case, I will never accuse you of trolling again if you just tell us who your sexual obsession is because I just know it's going to be so funny like kirbychan.

No. 584494

>>584493
Maybe get a hobby, or friends.

No. 584495

>>584493
Honestly, makes a lot of sense, extremely valid. But is it a celebrity human woman, orrr

No. 584496

>>584491
I mean I would honestly accept the autism sexual fixation theory except for this is a real human woman and not a funny shaped cartoon character. The reason I will not name her is because she's a D list actress in a random country and since I've sperged about her to people online before I would be embarrassed if they somehow discovered lolcow and found out I had this problem. That's all.

I would also accept any tips anyone might have on becoming attracted to men instead. I always keep the sexy man bodies threads, the sexy men you want to fuck threads, and the husbando threads open and make myself look at all the posts there to try to trigger het attraction, but I just feel nothing when I look at their bodies (at best) or find the male bodies actually repulsive. I honestly suffer a lot in my daily life and I would like to be a normal straight woman.

>>584494
>>584495
Sorry I deleted to add more detail.

No. 584499

File: 1751606233563.jpg (159.05 KB, 736x688, 1000019316.jpg)

Honestly browsing LC has made me doubt if I'm a lesbian. When I was a teen I dated moids, those relationships were always short lived and I didn't want to have sex with them and avoided it. Being around them felt exhausting to me and I always wanted to do something else, I had relationships with women and it was the complete opposite. I wanted to spend every moment with them and was always thinking of them, planning future apartments and what our future together would be like. My relationships with women were my longest and I was able to be comfortable enough to get sexual (still a virgin though). When I fantasise about having sex it's always giving or receiving oral from a women, the thought of moid sex is very scary to me. I see women as more attractive to men, even "ugly" women have many redeeming qualities to me, moids all look gross to me and many of them disgust me to look at. I watch anime and sometimes a male character sticks out to me, I don't think he's hot or fuckable, just cool looking and admirable. I rarely enjoy female characters, I think they look cute/hot but something just doesn't click for me. I can still like them it's just rarer. When I read over and over again on here that having men in your dating history or liking anime bishies means you aren't a lesbian I began to get confused. Aside from family members I have no males in my life, it's frustrating that I can't seem to figure it out myself

No. 584501

>>584496
I think you need to log off of lolcow for a very, very long time. Clearly the online spaces you inhabit are not benefiting your mental health in any way. And you need to stop looking at pictures of that woman, I’m serious, indulging in the obsession only makes you spiral and feel more crazy.

No. 584503

>>584499
It doesn’t sound like you were attracted to the exes or the bishies, I think you are overthinking. Some nonas are overzealous because there’s a genuine epidemic of straight and bi women larping and justifying their blatant het attraction as part of lesbianism. But if that’s not you there’s no need to take it to heart.

No. 584504

>>584499
So you… were friends with a few boys when you were 15? And you also enjoy anime? And you think that makes you a betrayer of the lesbian nation…? Is this bait or what kekkkk

No. 584505

>>584496
You really need to find something to focus on besides your sexuality. Instead of trying to replace your obsession for her with attraction to someone else, find things unrelated to your sexual desires that you can focus on.

No. 584506

>>584501
I actually am 2 weeks clean of looking at her kek. And I haven't talked to anyone about her in about a year and a half. That all might not sound like much but when you've had an all consuming sexual obsession with someone for 3+ years with multiple failed attempts to break out of it, it's actually big progress. My biggest problem right now is she still shows up in my dreams, all kinds of dreams from wet dreams to heartbreaking human drama dreams to random nonsense dreams. And when I wake up from a dream about her is the hardest time to avoid looking her up again.
>>584505
I have tried to develop hobbies up to and including rock hunting through knee deep mud in waders for 6 hours by myself every weekend but even when I was faceplanted in the creek bed or fell down a railroad embankment or stuck in a bush for an hour and a half (don't ask) I was still either fantasizing about her or mourning my love of her. When something that extreme didn't work I sort of gave up trying to force hobbies.

No. 584507

>>584503
Thank you, that epidemic ironically makes me feel more like a lesbian. My dating history and attraction is nothing like those people's and frankly I find them annoying too because they weasel men into everything
>>584504
Not bait, sorry it came off like that. I am genuinely retarded and have a hard time trying to understand my emotions and put myself into words, just in general. I will clarify that I can completely empathise with those posters who say those things, they have every right to stand up for themselves. I'm frustrated with myself for being like a sponge and absorbing everything around me

No. 584508

>>584506
Have you tried social hobbies or interests where you interact and form friendships with others? Solitary hobbies like that just give you a lot of time alone with your thoughts which just makes it worse.

No. 584513

>>584508
You could probably guess this but I don't click very well with other people. I can do a wonderful fake personality that gets along nicely with other people, but real me does not. My one friend I made that I really genuinely clicked with had a family tragedy that happened weeks after we started hanging out and has dropped off the radar entirely and plus will be moving soon.
I can't make close friends with 99% of straight women because their relationships make me mad. I get along very well with gay women but they are rare since these days most are either trooned themselves or queer lgbtqia16253465+ activist types. I don't befriend men because they are annoying and untrustworthy. Aware this is a me problem but it's my natural constitution.

No. 584517

File: 1751609213274.jpeg (47.17 KB, 320x320, nosebleed.jpeg)

>>584506
Are you the anon with a crush on a Takarazuka Revue member? Anyways, I can relate to your all-consuming, crippling obsession towards another woman. It's painful and bizarre how someone you can never have, either because she's celebrity or fictional or just unattainable in some way, can have such a crushing hold on you. I could touch myself to her till I pass out every night, but I still won't get sick of her. My advice is to have an outlet for your obsession that isn't just masturbation. Draw and write about your feelings towards her. Heck, even make a chatbot of her if there isn't one already. If I get it out of my system for a bit, I can move on to doing other things that interest me. Maybe I'll start off by drawing her and touching myself to her but then I'll get invested in improving my linework or composition. You might be trying to do this by venting on lolcow, but I think the key is to channel it towards something creative. We might just have a tendency towards obsession, maybe on the spectrum idk, so our brains will work a bit differently. Find a way to be inspired and work with the brain you have to better yourself and make life more bearable. Also, is your crush straight? That could be another reason why you're envious of PIV. If she's a lesbian she wouldn't get turned on by that and imagining what would actually make her wet is much hotter. Or think about it like, if she had a dick, would you still be into her? I think fingering, eating out and kissing and grinding, having your juices mix, the scent of her on you and vice versa…is much hotter. If you yearn to be deep inside of her there's also fisting. I'm aware that not all of these acts directly stimulate you both, genital to genital, but a lot of straight acts also don't either. Honestly just focusing on making her cum would probably make me cum just from squeezing my legs. And think about how lame it would be to have to wait in-between because you have a flaccid, useless, sausage. With two pussies you could just keep going. There's also benefits to being of a similar size. Just fitting together better, being eye to eye to kiss her. It's much more erotic and romantic. Don't focus on what you can't do but all the things you can do, instead. And sure, this is from another virgin. But at least we know what we're attracted to. Who is to say we won't meet a girl like our crush in the future? It might be slim, but it's not impossible. Even if it never happens, at least we got to experience loving someone so deeply, though it might be at the expense of ourselves sometimes, it's a beautiful thing. I hope you find peace within yourself no matter what. There is nothing wrong with who or how you love, and nothing you can do about it anyway. So don't force attractions that just won't happen. It might be a more lonely existence sometimes, but you're not alone in the way you feel. I wish you the best nonnie, take care of yourself.

No. 584533

>>584513
Nta but you are obsessed with this woman because your life sounds unfulfilled and lacking so this is like your one serotonin producer and your brain is clinging to it like crackhead with the last spoon in the traphouse. Anyway you're probably bi with a preference for androgynous and masculine women but mostly prefer males.

No. 584539

>>584496
>I mean I would honestly accept the autism sexual fixation theory except for this is a real human woman and not a funny shaped cartoon character
why does it have to be a funny shaped character? I feel like a normal person can definitely be fixated upon (unless this is cope)

No. 584561

>>584253
not unclean but inherently threatening like anon said >>584259

No. 584564

>>584259
Using this analogy, if you find a docile one it's kind of like befriending a huge animal that could murder you in an instant except it's tame and cuddly instead. It can be pretty wholesome as long as you remember he's a different species and won't vibe with you 100% of the time. I appreciate me and my nigel's opposing energies, he's very zen and easygoing. Almost himbo like in spirit.

No. 584575

What good is it to acknowledge I may be bisexual? Micro analysing everytime crushes I may had and how I acted as a kid, when I feel like throwing up and have family trauma I can't help being misandry. It pisses me off that my brain still feeds into doubts. Why is questioning such a burning issue for me I never had a relationship, I don't care. I can't read a comment without feeling bad that I did not have that same moment it's pathetic.

No. 584591

>>584491
Holy fuck it's THAT anon???? A mystery has been solved for me. She's so insulting towards women and same sex relationships it makes me sick to my stomach.

No. 584602

In the same way that consuming sexual content at a young age can cause pseudobisexuality in straight women - can the same happen to lesbians?

No. 584603

>>584602
I think it's possible but not to the extent of like actually seriously pursuing relationships with males.

No. 584604

>>584591
Can anyone point me in the direction of her misogynistic and insulting posts about women?

No. 584605

>>584603
So the same as straight women with this.

No. 584606

>>584605
Yeah but I think both are bound to grow up out of it at some point, and I don't think either are attracted to their misdirect target, I think it's usually a case of self-insertion that they end up misinterpreting because they consumed porn at too young of an age.

No. 584614

>>584499
I think gold star discourse is genuinely harmful if you're not 100% confident in your sexuality yet. I would avoid it, at least for now.

No. 584620

>>584606
What is the border between pseudobisexual desires and behavior vs real attraction? Like where is the tipping point where it's just undeniably real attraction?

No. 584630

>>584620
in my opinion it's if you're a weird little overthinking freak and it's all purely theoretical or about clout and how you look to others vs. if you're normal and date normally and treat women normally

No. 584634

>>584620
I don’t date women because I can’t figure this out. Plus my type is niche anyway. So I’m resigned to live my love life via fantasies. My biggest problem is how ashamed it makes me feel to be a proper adult getting all my sexual and romantic fulfillment through fantasies, so I try to fight it, which makes me more miserable.

No. 584636

>>584630
What if you’ve never dated anyone at all, is sexuality just less real then?

No. 584642

I mean this earnestly, yes, the understanding of your own sexuality that you have as a sexually active adult will be greater than the one that you have when you are inexperienced. It's the difference between "that cheesecake looks like something I would enjoy" and having tried it and knowing what it tastes like, or "I bet playing soccer would be fun" and being on a team. Masturbation is not sex, watching sitcoms is not dating, and this isn't exclusionary or "gold star" rhetoric or any kind of politically motivated stance, it's just a fact of life. and no this isn't the same thing as conversion therapy or saying "how could you know you're not straight if you haven't tried?" because I'm specifically talking about women who are confused about how genuine their bisexuality is

No. 584646

>>584642
By that logic you need to have experiences with both men and women to know your sexuality and I don’t think that’s true. Obviously there’s more you understand when you have real experiences but I don’t think anyone is having graphic fantasies about having sex that doesn’t match their orientation at all. I know you said it’s different but I don’t get why it would be.

No. 584651

>>584646
If you don't like hearing that experience makes a difference, and you want to find an excuse to think it's untrue, then go ahead, but it's a pretty universal part of life and growing up, and the growing pains of coming to understand what you want out of sex and relationships for the very first time are a big part of what make teenage dating awkward and embarrassing. Admitting that you don't know it all and have a lot to learn makes the process of learning things less humbling btw.

No. 584654

>>584651
I don’t think it makes no difference that’s not what I said, but this is the questioning sexuality thread about whether you are straight or bi or gay, which I don’t believe you need experience to know. If a moid told me that he’s totally straight and has never been with a man but that he loves gay porn, I wouldn’t think he was actually straight.

No. 584669

>>584620
Undeniably real attraction will contain the aspect of sexual magnetism. You are drawn to someone, you think they are very attractive but the observation of their attractiveness doesn't start and stop there, you feel a sort of pull to them. That's sexual attraction. This sort of thing can develop over time through exposure and bonding or it can be immediate or you can suddenly realize they're attractive and boom there it is. If you don't really have experience in socializing much or you're a sort of autist overthinker you will be confused about this. My belief is as so: if you're wondering if it's sexual attraction it's probably not. If you're actually scared it's sexual attraction then there's a good chance it is.

No. 584672

>>584669
I agree with this. Though I'll add being scared it's attraction could also be OCD depending on why you are scared, since I think sexuality OCD plagues these threads kek.

No. 584674

>>584654
Sure. But there's a difference between confidently saying "I love gay porn and I'm gay," lying/being in denial and saying "I love gay porn but I'm straight," and saying "I think I might be bisexual, but I can't tell if I'm really attracted or if I just think girls are pretty, and something about lesbian sex feels disappointing, and when I fantasize about women I fantasize about them having straight sex, and I don't know if I could ever date one for real, and the draw isn't so strong that I'm willing to ask them out, but I ruminate on the topic unproductively because I spend a lot of time alone on the internet where people talk about this" which brings us back to: if you want to date women normally, then it's probably real enough and if you are just caught in a weird upsetting mental spiral full of insecurity and confusion and weird caveats, you need to stop thinking about it so much

No. 584678

>>584674
Yeah I essentially agree with you then.

No. 584680

>>584669
This is why I’m confused because I don’t feel that for 99.99999999% of women, but I have definitely felt that magnetism for certain masculine and boyish women and tifs. To the point I honestly avoid them because I get too nervous in their presence. Way more nervous in their presence than even attractive men. Which makes no sense. This will sound dumb but I always felt funny and heart fluttery watching Tig Notaro stand ups as a teenager. That sort of boyish woman. But I feel like if I was genuinely attracted to women I wouldn’t only feel sexually attracted to women with a specific styling. And I do think I might have a bit of OCD because whenever I meet a masculine woman that I don’t feel any attraction towards, by brain tells me it’s proof I’m straight and retarded. And there are very few boyish women around irl so my sample size is tiny which makes it hard to analyze and means most of my crushes are women I don’t know irl and only see online or celebrities like tig notaro which makes me feel like I must be a faker. So then I try not to fantasize about boyish women because it feel disrespectful(?) towards real SSA women. Honestly typing that out I see how retarded and nonsensical I sound. I don’t understand myself.

No. 584681

>>584680
You're overthinking this. It is really as simple as "you like who you like" even if that means you prefer tomboys over preppy women. The average straight woman is attracted to normie masculine men and wouldn't have any interest in a dress-wearing hippie on rollerskates, are they less hetero?

No. 584687

>>584680
>But I feel like if I was genuinely attracted to women I wouldn’t only feel sexually attracted to women with a specific styling
Yeah you're overthinking this. You just wrote out your attraction word for word and you're still doubting yourself. Can you just act retarded around a boyish woman and drop all your spaghetti I am begging you. I hate tifs but can you please date a tif. Anyone. Please. Please. Please. I want you to have OCD about being straight while fucking a tif. It's all I want for you. You will have OCD forever that's a fact, so just date with OCD. Put on your profile "I HAVE OCD" in big bold capital letters in impact font to let everyone know you have OCD. It'll be a great talking point. I want you to seek out every boyish woman you can and talk with every single one in full retard mode and then find love. Please.

No. 584690

>>584680
>But I feel like if I was genuinely attracted to women I wouldn’t only feel sexually attracted to women with a specific styling.
You're overthinking this. You give off this really insecure feeling, like you don't think you're worthy of being attracted to masculine women or something (we all know you're the Japanese all-women theater anon, it's okay you don't have to keep it a secret we all know who you are).

No. 584714

Questioning nonnas who are afraid of calling themselves bisexual could just keep identifying as straight, especially if they plan on staying single or lost hope in finding a gf. Or if you live in a country where it's okay, date a tif like other nonnie suggested kek. You can even feel completely indifferent about men and fantasize exclusively about women - not like anyone will somehow find that out. And if you'll suddenly become super-straight again, hopefully you'll have easier time battling identity crisis. I did that and it's the best decision I ever made, honestly.

No. 584718

>>584714
I don't get why it even has to be an identity. You like what you like.

No. 584719

>>584714
You mean you became straight again?

No. 584747

>>584719
No(not yet anyway). It was a hypothetical. I mean, attraction to men is still there, but it has become weaker. I don't have the urge to think about anything sexual involving a man anymore, I'm not even talking about het sex.
Buuut even when I was like "I can't imagine myself with a woman, I'm only attracted to 2d bishies" I only liked fantasizing about jerking off a dick and everything else seemed not arousing or gross. When I discovered that sex between two women doesn't have to revolve around straps and clinical penetretion I became completely disinterested in imagining myself with a moid

No. 584951

>>584669
I feel like this is what I’m confused about and autistically fixated on. For me it’s the other direction - I feel very attached and fond for some males in my life and when I was younger I labelled these as crushes (like 3 guys in school and a couple celebrities I got attached to) until I got older and realised how it felt to want to have sex with someone (girls/women). I was confused because even though I fantasised about hugging the boys I liked and it made me nervous/happy I had never had any desire for sexual acts, kissing, being called their girlfriend etc until I started feeling attracted to girls. I thought all straight girls had felt the same way I did about boys because some feelings were there. But I was shocked when I realised what people referred to as sexual attraction gave you a tingly/throbbing feeling kek and your brain basically forces you to go there. It made me feel like a pervert for a while because I didn’t know it was the norm. Also made my BPD symptoms manifest, when I fell in love with girls. I also used to hate the romance genre because I never related to it, but then after crushing on girls I finally started understanding it… I could even imagine getting married and starting a family with a woman even though I could never imagine wanting a relationship like that before. After some years I started to wonder why I had never wanted this with males, despite the fact I feel like I can “love” then. (Yes I am also an anon that has stunk up this thread before haha, I guess it’s always the bisexual questioners in either direction)

No. 584985

>>584951
I relate to some of this. Early on, I had crushes on both. I liked a male celebrity in my teens (but in my wet dreams he had a pussy.) I'm sure I'm bisexual with a preference for women. I'll only ever date women, will lose my virginity to a woman. I'm as sure of this as water is wet and the sky is blue. Women are sexier, prettier, understand me on a deeper level, my life would just fit so well with another woman. I imagined marrying my very close friend that I had a crush on but got over but didn't have domestic fantasies about men. We all know how shit they are too, which for me is just another reason not to be intimate with them. When a guy I befriended at work started to crush on me I got the biggest ick, felt sick when he went in for a hug and didn't let him lol. Which is why I don't even want them as friends anymore. All this to say, I'm still bisexual. There's a retarded idea of all sexuality being fluid in mainstream culture now, which justifies bisexuals labeling themselves as lesbian due to "compulsive heterosexuality." It's also saying in a round-about way that bisexuals must be 50/50 and if you swing heavily in either direction but have an exception, you're simply "straight or gay with an exception," when you're just bisexual. The only orientation that experiences fluidity or "bicycling," the only one that has exceptions, is bisexuality. This includes if you had a history of liking one sex but then only stay lusting/loving/pursuing the other till you die. People might call you a lesbian or that you'll go back to men. Still, I communicate my sexuality on dating apps or to others that ask simply by saying "bisexual only interested in other women." I'd say febfem too, if it wasn't attached to politics. Remember that even though our experience might look similar to lesbians, they never had crushes on men, or got attached to male celebrities, or felt that nervous/happy feeling from those fantasies. Once you realize this, you won't get so confused or have to fixate on it. And you can continue lusting after other women and dating them and not have doubts about your orientation anymore. Free yourself from ruminating on this and accept yourself as the kinsey 5 you are.

No. 585129

How much is sexual orientation and desire about the people you’re attracted to vs some kind of autosexual fixation on what your body is experiencing and how attractive you are? Supposedly there are straight women who like watching lesbian porn to relate to the women feeling good even though they wouldn’t want their pussy licked by a woman, or they like seeing sexy women because they self insert as being a sexy woman or something. But also many straight women are into BL/gay porn even though they could not possibly relate to the experience, and enjoy it just because they find the males attractive. I’m not even going to get into “straight” men and their obsession with dicks.
If someone is homosexual, the sex they are and they sex they like are the same, so they will never be interested by any scenarios that involve the opposite sex or both sexes at once. No lesbian wants to see a woman getting pleasured by a moid to “relate to her enjoying herself”. Is homosexuality the only true monosexuality? Is heterosexuality actually a little bit bisexual because your own body has to factor into the sexual excitement even if you aren’t SSA? This is really autistic I know but I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this for a while now.

No. 585289

>>584985
I get you. The thing that sent me into this spiral in my case was that there was never anything sexual to do with men in my life. Never any wet dreams, never anything sexual with men while imagining them with a pussy. Ever. I tried imagining the opposite - a woman claiming she was bi, has female celebrities or friends she’s gotten attached to but never felt sexual attraction or wanted to be with any woman, while feeling all that for men - I thought it would be weird in that case and I don’t know if I would consider her bi so it made me question. (Perhaps that speaks to our own perceptions and women who come here questioning bisexuality getting told they’re straight is a biased verdict, and they might really be Kinsey 2s if feelings of fondness, nervousness and/or attachment can be seen as indication of romantic interest even without accompanying sexual desire or desire for a relationship.)

But even though this tipped my world upside down I’ve always assumed I was bi since I knew what the term was, my whole life and I still haven’t told IRLs any different. I have been ruminating for too long of a time now never being satisfied because people always give me different answers, or just vague ones. I guess people just can’t tell you what you are. It’s better to identify as bi than identify as a lesbian tentatively and wrongfully and regret it for the impact it has on lesbians as a community. So I am getting past my symptoms of ocd spiralling and posting here less than I used to. It has made me realise some things about myself though (some flaws psychologically too haha) and has been good reflection.

No. 585292

Strange question but (please rational people only reply, not spergs) is goldstar vs non-goldstar a variable? I was reading a discussion on /ot/ and someone mentioned how other anons lack nuance and that if she lived in a thirdie shithole she might also have sex she doesn’t enjoy and pump out kids (context discussing men who come out as gay after having multiple children) it made me think that hm despite the fact I know a lot of lesbians who aren’t goldstars yes even normie lesbians outside of gendie spaces I feel like if they had come here while questioning the fact they’d had sex with men would be enough to be considered bi, no? I don’t even know where I stand with this. I don’t like to have double standards though and I’d think nothing of a gay man who tried having sex with a girl once while back in school first-world country or not. Like I’m assuming he didn’t enjoy it. And society does have an impact on your actions, way more than people give credit for, peer pressure etc it’s not just about whether you could be sentenced to death for it. At the same time I think I would consider someone bi for less? Let alone actual sex? Huh.

No. 585296

>>585292
Some will disagree with me, but not being a goldstar doesn't necessarily mean a lesbian is actually bi imo. People are overly black and white about this as a pushback against fakebians who hide their history of attraction to men behind "it's normal for lesbians to sleep with men" bullshit. But being gay doesn't mean you melt and die like the wicked witch upon any contact with the opposite sex. There are a lot of reasons someone might have tried to force being straight, even in relatively liberal societies. Some people would rather die than not be true to themselves but some are more susceptible to pressure, it's just a personality trait anyone can have. I'd take it on a case by case basis, like how extensive her history with men is and how she talks about it, what kind of family she has, if she shows other signs of attraction to men in the present etc.

No. 585299

>>585292
sorry for the rant. i'm speaking only of my own experiences (duh) but even when i was facing extreme internalized homophobia and wanted nothing more than to trick myself into bisexuality, i still couldn't actually touch a man. i could try to pretend i was capable of dating a man, so long as i didn't have to speak to him, or see him, or have him in my life at all really, so the mere thought of having sex with a man is on another level of unspeakable. i genuinely could never, ever have sex with a man as a gay person. i think i'd genuinely kill myself if i ever did, it's just so gross to think about.
thing is, i've a lot of friends who call themselves "gay" dudes but the common thread among them has been that they admitted to me that they aren't opposed to having sex with women, she would just have to be extremely, extremely masculine. they say that the pussy isn't the problem but rather the aesthetic. so like… i would say there is an equally minuscule amount of exclusively homosexual females and males on the planet, it's just that both women and men who have slept with both sexes are more likely to want men. i think that facet of male-leaning bisexuality is learned, since there is a strong global culture of loving men, but i don't think SLEEPING with a man, putting his ACTUAL dick in your pussy can ever be a homosexual behavior, sorry. i'm more sympathetic if you're in a third world shithole or something of the sort but otherwise, i don't get it. even then i always imagine i'd be a virgin vestal type of woman who devotes herself to god to avoid being forced into partnership with a man kek, but that's just me.
i think the most nuance in this conversation comes down to what you mean when you say "lesbian". if you mean exhibiting mostly homosexual behavior, then yeah, non gs are lesbians. but if you mean those who exhibit exclusive homosexual behavior, then only gs are lesbian, because like i said, heterosexual sex is not a homosexual act regardless of the societal hangups. for most people's intent and understanding, lesbians are the former definition. which isn't an inherently bad thing, but it leads to confusion and a disconnect between "mostly" homosexual women and "exclusive" homosexual women and everyone else's understanding. as for it being easier for people to accept a non gs gay man's identity versus a non gs lesbian woman's identity, it's more or less because of the prevalent male-loving culture i mentioned earlier.

No. 585300

>>585299
Nta, I get where you are coming from but I don't think most 100% straight women would rather die than touch a pussy under any circumstances even if they wouldn't enjoy it, and it doesn't make them bi because they're still not attracted to women. Putting sexuality aside, people force themselves to do things they hate and find disgusting all the time for various personal reasons. I think it's a good trait to not be willing to subject yourself to that under any circumstances and means you have backbone and value yourself, but I think it's a trait that comes from your values and personality and not only your sexual orientation.

No. 585313

>>585300
i promise im asking this in good faith, but then what do you think of "lesbians who self harm by sleeping with men"? if sleeping with the opposite sex can happen due to personality traits such as
not having a spine or even hating oneself, then would it make it so that continually committing heterosexual acts is like… fine? like idk where the line would be drawn.

No. 585322

>>585313
>hypothetical lesbian self harming repeatedly
>doing it over and over again makes it “fine”
How did you even come to that conclusion kek. Acknowledging that something is self destructive doesn’t make it okay. But I also don’t think lesbians are political activists by virtue of existing, they’re just as fucked up and messy as everyone else. I don’t think lesbianism is revoked just because a theoretical woman hates herself to an extreme degree

No. 585338

>>585313
Someone explicitly claiming that is probably bullshitting in 9/10 cases. When lesbians sleep with men I don't think it's self harm like when you cut yourself because you're depressed but more akin to gritting your teeth and tolerating terrible pain or humiliation because you believe you have no choice, it's your duty or somehow worth it in some way. I do think a lot of bi women falsely claim the lesbian label despite having actually been attracted to men they were with, I just don't think it's literally impossible to engage in sexual behavior that goes against orientation for anyone.

No. 585343

>>585322
it's not hypothetical, nonna. i'm asking specifically because i've heard this shit from real life women identifying as lesbians. by "fine" i didn't mean to imply it was politically correct i meant more so if someone could truly be an exclusively same sex attracted woman and also be sleeping with men simply because she's a retard with no self respect and with no attraction slant.
>>585338
i don't know if i even disagree with you, i think it's just really really inconvenient for the rest of us who only participate in exclusive same sex activities. but that's a different topic. i appreciate the discussion nonnas

No. 585365

Would it be possible to get confused by the objectification of women as a kid and assume you're a lesbian just because the media portrays them as hot and you haven't liked boys yet, and then develop crushes and sexual fantasies about women just because you assumed that's what you would be interested in, but actually be straight and just suppressing attraction to men?

No. 585383

>>585343
>i'm asking specifically because i've heard this shit from real life women identifying as lesbians
Nta but I must politely ask you to use your brain. It's obvious those are bisexual women who hate men but are still attracted to them, and also that those bisexual women genuinely hate that they're still attracted to men because those women interpret their attraction to males as "giving males permission to degrade them" so they think if they deny their attraction to men they will be protected. It's child logic.

An actual self harming lesbian does hard drugs and sleeps around with women and if you try and get her to stop she acts hypersexual with you so you don't reject her, and I know that because when I tried to "save" a couple of lesbians like this, each one said I could use her body for sex. They will also have eating disorders and sometimes send nudes like they're trying to buy your attention. Maybe act upset if you don't reciprocate, or maybe act upset you if you DO reciprocate. They get easily triggered but they never actually sleep with the opposite sex.

I'm bi for the record and have met several bi women who claim to be lesbians, they all have histories with abuse and believe if they smile at a man it's giving him permission to abuse her. It's literally a case of "claiming to be lesbian for protection" mixed with the lack of ability to say no because these women grew up as girls in a rapey environment so they are just constantly in survival mode and if they denied a moid what he wanted there was actual violence involved.

The alternative route for self hating lesbians is trooning out and possibly becoming a massive coomer who mods videogames and/or consumes a lot of porn, but these lesbians always rotate their interests around a female subject.

No. 585385

>>585383
you and i share the same opinion kek i was just curious what that anon thought? damn bitch relax.

No. 585394

>>585385
Nta and infighty or not I felt the need to give my two cents that you come across insufferable over text kekk. Not even what you said but your typing style. I hate whenever I come across one of you online. Ugh

No. 585430

>>585299
I am samefagging because I just thought of this, but I think it makes sense for lesbians to be more repulsed by men than fags are by women on average, because even for straight people straight sex is considered a violating, humiliating thing done to women by men. If you aren't even attracted to men there's nothing to see in it but violation. A gay moid might think fucking women is gross but he will never feel violated by a woman, it will never dirty him or bring down his worth for having touched one and in fact it grants him status among other males, so there is less reason for him to be violently repulsed by the act. I think even a true and honest gay male is more likely to see sex with women as an icky chore he'd rather avoid than violating and traumatic.

No. 585458

>>585394
i wanna give my two cents that i find that cute. when do we get to kiss?

No. 585498

>>585365
If you have crushes and sexual fantasies about women you are not straight…You could be forcing yourself to think those things, because you assumed you'd be interested in them, but it would be short lived because you can't force yourself to get off to those fantasies unless you truly felt attraction. My friends have "girl crushes" and it's easy to acknowledge women are beautiful, especially because our image is so sexualised. But it's a whole other thing if you're having real crushes on women where you fantasize about them sexually and romantically, touch yourself to them and get off to it.

I'm bi, and if you're wondering if you're suppressing an attraction to men, I can speak on what it feels like to suppress attraction, albeit to women. Personally, I always knew. It's not like I was unaware of my feelings. I just tried to justify it in my head by saying it's not real, stuff it down, over-exaggerate my femininity thinking it would compensate for it and would be vocal and engage with my friends when they wanted to talk about guys. But I'd still be touching myself and getting off to fantasies of sex with women and getting crushes on them. I came out as liking women at 23, but I knew long before that, I just didn't want to admit it because I was ashamed. It's possible your attraction to men just isn't that strong too, but there would've been some kind of hint that you liked them. If you think way back to when you were a kid and there was not as much shame, were you drawn to any boys or celebrities? If you haven't felt any of this and you're an adult, have socialised with men and women, I don't think you should expect yourself to start liking them. If you're nervous about calling yourself a lesbian because you have sexual OCD or something, then just call yourself bi or don't mention it until you start dating. I think you wanted this reassurance by coming here. Relax and go masturbate thinking of pussy whenever you feel unsure, kek all the best nona.

No. 585574

Is there any way I can force myself to be attracted to someone? I'm 32 and I've never felt any kind of romantic or sexual attraction towards anybody (aside from fictional characters but they don't count) and it makes me feel like a fucking alien.

No. 585579

>>585574
Do you mean that you can't feel attraction towards people you know in real life? Or that even depictions of real people don't do it for you? Can you get aroused by looking at pictures of celebrities/actors/unattainable people or just imagining a real human?
Sorry for asking too much question, I'm just curious about this topic.

No. 585588

I'm so into CharliXCX, Ive found her hot for a while now and I get turned on by her ass kek. But I don't touch myself thinking of her at all and I don't think about what it'd be like dating her or anything. But why when she performs I have this intense feeling that I NEED HER, I need to touch her, I need to be with her but then it goes away. I've suspected for a long time that I have mild sexual feelings for women with no romantic ones, but would like another perspective idk

No. 585590

>>585574
is being an alien a bad thing though? I'm in a similar boat but I do count fictional characters, and I find it relieving to not have to deal with being attracted to random people. However I do think that a huge part of it is that I only really feel drawn to those I have a strong connection with and who I enjoy being around. I'm pretty sure I'd start feeling something in the right situation, I just am not impressed by people's looks much.

No. 585599

why do i enjoy thinking about my sexuality, cataloguing my fetishes and refreshing /g/ threads more than sex?

No. 585600

>>585599
Because you don’t have to get hurt or be vulnerable when you’re posting online.

No. 585602

>>585600
okay, ill amend that. i enjoy thinking about thinking about sex, more than thinking about sex or imagining myself in these situations

No. 585713

>>585579
That's exactly it, I've never been aroused by a "real" person, celebrities included (I even tend to find celebrities very boring looking). I cannot imagine myself as being sexual with another person, probably because I don't see myself as sexual in the first place, but it's probably because I'm too "old" to still be a virgin.
>>585590
I don't think being an alien is bad, on one hand I'm glad i don't have to deal with relationship drama, but on the other hand it just feels very isolating.



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