/ot/ - off-topic

Monkey's paw is real guys don't ever wish for anything.

A podcast that I thought would be cool just opened his show with “hello ladies, gentlemen, trans and non-binary”. My heart sunk

Someone I know is losing her fucking mind over everything all the time atm and will interrupt me multiple times a day to be like I'M FUCKIGN CRYING AND SHAKING RIGHT NOW I CNANT DO THIS. And then she explains why and it's always over the mildest inconvenience imaginable where if she just learned the most basic coping methods she would be able to chill the fuck out and be normal. I want to grab her and shake her and tell her to get a fucking grip. I have shit going on too and even if I didn't I'm not your fucking therapist!! God it is DRAINING

>>2354247
Thank you, I feel in the wrong for feeling this, but I don't know what else to feel right now. It's reassuring to have my feelings assured, even if they are unpleasant.
>>2354268
That's a great idea, thank you for linking me to that thread and the words.
>>2354609
I was in a fit of rage, and reading it again I realized I wrote the context too vaguely, probably because the context still makes me furious and even describing it makes me feel upset. Still, I resonated with your words, it does feel like it changed me, I can't go back to seeing things the same way. I appreciate your words, I am sorry for your friend too for all that's worth, even if it's close to nothing.

>>2356344
Been there, nonna. Is good for you for being there for her but remember that you cannot set yourself on fire to keep her warm. Can I bet she minimizes your rants because she cannot hear your problems without making them feel like hers? I would cut it out if that's the case.

I had a lot of very nice ceramic flower pots in good condition but they got rejected from the thrift store for being dirty. I rinsed them out beforehand, they weren't perfect but of course used flower pots are going to have a little dirt on the inside, I'm not scrubbing them out with soap for you! It annoyed me so much, I just came home and threw them all away. I'm too busy to list them on marketplace for some idiot to message me asking for delivery or haggling over the price. If I put them on the curb I just know my psycho building owner will bitch at me about it. So fuck it, into the bin they go. I'm usually very anti-waste and it made me upset to do but I just don't have time. People are coming tomorrow, I don't have room in this apartment for a bunch of unused flower pots.

maybe one day I'll figure out whether it's loneliness that makes me horny or horniness that makes me lonely

is it cynical to think that nowadays there's very little incentive left to socialize, lest in an attempt to one up one another? probably, but I don't think I've been proved otherwise all that recently

>>2356519
who’s that specimen, asking for a friend

Pretty sure I got scammed today and feel like a total idiot. Luckily, it was only 10€, but still, it was so obvious and I should have stood up for myself.

Worst part is that I can't just forget about it, because I need to learn from my mistake.

Made out with a friends friend who happens to be a man, said man was "on a break with his fwb", whatever the fuck that means. I still make out with him because Im stupid. He wants to fuck but i tell him im uncomfortable with that because im on my period, he tries a few more times but then lets it go once after like 5 tries. He then proceeds to get together/exlusivly date his fwb like 2 days later. Does not tell me this tho, i have to find out through friends.
Nonnas I think I might have to change my name and leave the country.

i wish i could be like those social reject girls that are just fine with being lonely and introverted. i'm hyperaware of every second in which i'm not with someone else and it drives me insane, i had NEVER felt like this. why can't i just be naturally okay with my alone time? why was i cursed with this?

it's absolutely unfair that i am not getting filled up with cum by a baby feverish moid right now

Why do college students always wait until the last minute to do discussion posts? The teachers always have rules saying you need to reply to at least 3 people, how am I supposed to do that when everyone waits until 10 PM the night it's due to finally post their discussion? It is so annoying. Not to mention their posts are so vague and contain nothing to actually reply to.

>>2356538
If it makes you feel better nona, I was scammed out of $400 and it was a really obvious scam

>>2356555
in a word: para-socialization
everyone that pretends to be fine with "being alone all the time" spend their time engaging in some sort of pseudo-socialization, which include social media, consuming content, and artificially stimulating themselves in all sorts of unhealthy ways

>>2356555
Same, I really want female friends and to break out of my shell, but sometimes I feel like I’m destined to be friendless irl. I only really have my boyfriend and siblings. My boyfriend satisfies my life in a different way than a female friend would though, and I love my twin brother and sister but they are usually busy and can’t hang out with me. I feel like most female friend groups are hard to get into, and it hurts.

tried to make pesto. it didn’t end well

>>2356531
I thought this for a long time but its a sign that you're around shitty people.

>>2356531
What >>2356581 said. I like people and getting to know them, but if I am exhausted by being around them then it’s a sign we’re not actually compatible. It took me a long time to realize this and that I just wasn’t really a cultural match for where I was at the time.

Have a friend whom I love dearly but I can't invite her to hangout or even express affection towards her without her going on and on about how shitty and ugly and boring and horrible of a person she supposedly is and apologizing 20000000 times for trivial things. For example we hung out yesterday nothing crazy she just came over to my house we watched some movies and she went home. Before she came over she kept stalling and apologizing for having bad movies, not bringing good enough food (I didn't even mention or ask her to bring food), distracting and bothering me (told her multiple times I wasn't busy, that I was done with all my tasks and was bored and wanted her to come over bc I invited her first). After she went home she texted me to apologize for supposedly looking ugly (she looked pretty because she is pretty), smelling bad (she actually smelled really good I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to be weird), being too quiet, not bringing good movies (I really liked the movies and told her), using my bathroom and drinking my water ?? Like, I understand that kind of behavior to an extent, I'm always anxious and regretful before and after social interaction fearing that I will be or was too weird and made the other person uncomfortable, and I also apologized to her for being quiet and tired. But what she does is really over the top and I genuinely don't understand why she acts like that. She will never take compliments or me telling her that she's not ugly didn't smell etc etc. I guess it's some sort of attention seeking behavior but she also hates attention and is fairly reclusive. Like I said, I love her but this is getting a little bit exhausting and I don't know what to keep telling her, she always denies it when I tell her that I think she's pretty and interesting, constantly accusing me of lying or something similar. I wish I understood better whatwas going on in her brain besides extreme self-loathing. Sorry this is kind of nonsensical and too specific but I need to talk about it somewhere and she's one of my only friends and I can't exactly talk about it with her lol.

I kind of don't see a point in living anymore. I just feel so confused. I cannot get over my ex. It's been a few months but I am still obsessing over him and simply cannot let go. He treated me horrible and always put me in a position where I had to prove myself to him. Objectively I can see that he was a horrible piece of shit that abused me mentally but it is as if my brain is addicted to him and cannot let go. I already blocked him everywhere so I cannot reach out and he can't reach out either but it doesn't stop my brain from obsessively thinking about him. Help, I think I am going insane. I am so angry for the way I was treated that I genuinely tried to build a loving relationship with him while he was focused on putting me down and being a disrespectful piece of shit while also being controlling. It is so fucking confusing. I feel like I was emotionally put through a meat grinder. I cannot tell any of my friends or family any more because they will think that I am insane and annoying for still thinking about this. I know that I will never ever get revenge for the way I was treated. I don't even really know what I want anymore. Please just make it stop.

i feel like a pick me when i think about this but i hate when people judge me for being a boring loser. i wanna stay inside my house and chill in the safety of my room. i dont wanna go to a night club or a party or go hang with some horny moids. i want my life to be boring and uneventful and stress free. people do not understand why i wouldnt wanna be dating and drinking and doing drugs. i dont understand. i just wanna be an autistic loser in peace.

It's painful seeing my female friends struggle and get into awful situations with men due to financial reasons. All I can do is listen since I hardly have enough to live comfortably. We don't even have bad jobs, the cost of living is just insane. I can't stop feeling guilty and helpless.

>>2356669
>i feel like a pick me
>for not wanting to date
Has the term pickme lost literally all meaning??

>>2356626
insecurity and narcissism are two sides of the same coin

>>2356669
what do you think ''pickme'' means, anon…

>>2356684
>>2356674
im not like other girls because i dont go to parties or chase after moids and people judge me for it isnt this like classic pickme mentality

I am 28F. I have been single for the last 3 years. It has been really hard to cope the last little while due to not receiving likes, not many conversations or consistent ghosting by men.
If they do talk to me usually it is to just go to hotel or FWB or ONS ect. After being abused by my ex of 2.5 years,trauma( sexual, physical and mental) and having weird encounters with my ex it feels like I am spiraling.

My docter told me to start taking prozac again and I have a fear of men which is manifesting itself through my dreams due to insomnia.

>>2356690
Try to actually tackle your so called trauma and heal yourself instead of hoping to find replacement scrote? Otherwise you’ll just repeat the same patterns.

>>2356626
Aww poor friend. I can kind of relate, even though I wouldn't voice each and every anxious thought. She was probably raised to be an extreme people-pleaser and I think she really likes you and might even think you have high standards for things? Maybe you even have different living conditions and financial situations? At least that's what used to make me self-conscious. Maybe you're a bit reserved so she thinks you're secretly judging her kek. Have you tried speaking about it with her? Although I honestly have no idea how to approach it without making a person feel awkward and pathetic.

>>2356626
You’re more patient than me kek

>>2356690
Are you drunk or just new? Just to let you know don't have to fill out the fields to post. I agree with the other anon, you gotta get out of victim mode and go into the mindset of being a survivor. If you want a relationship you can't hope to find a good one in this kind of state. Shitty moids can tell when women are easy to take advantage of. You need to allow yourself to demand more from men. Even if you're down on yourself we all deserve to have the best. Also there's a thread on /g/ for break up and moving on advice specifically, you might find others who are in a similar situation.

>>2356317
A podcast I've been listening to for a while suddenly made it a point to explain how super pro-trans they are. I had sunk so many hours into it and now I can't even bring myself to listen to them at all anymore…
>>2356344
I've been there. I'll answer the first time but the second time I see the notification preview I ghost for hours until I think she's calmed down. You can't react immediately or that activates their attention dopamine so they'll keep doing it.

>want to buy anime figures to fill the void
>cant because i live in a third world country and the taxes are insanely high
>want to buy cute clothes and have fun with fashion
>cant because there are no alt stores or thrift stores in this shithole, only poor quality aliexpress and shein crap and bootlegs
>want to go to a fun place like a record store or hobby store
>there are none close to me they are all at least 3 hours away

there is literally nothing to do on this shithole, shits so fucking boring.

im depressed

I was trying to watch a review for The boy with the striped pajamas on youtube, and it was okay. Then suddenly the woman narrating the video goes "It would have been a bad situation. The whole family was unalived." I just clicked off immediately. I understand YT and IG tags certain words, but why are these adults making these videos not smart enough to use synonyms instead? You dont have to say kill or killed to indicate so. You can say anything else. So many things. Why are they so lazy? They dont deserve my views or time.

>>2356626
She was probably abused not gonna lie. I don't wanna blog but I was badly abused for a long time when I was a kid and acted just like that. Even after I escaped and lived normally, I still acted just like your friend without realizing how much it puts people off. Even when you do realize, it's hard work to unlearn the "apologize-for-existing" mindset. It's not an excuse though. She has to realize for herself that this behavior is not okay. You could try gently insinuating that she needs to work on her self esteem and mention that her constant self flagellation makes you uncomfortable.

How do you avoid falling into bad habits under severe stress? there is nothing that bring me happiness right now, i wake up and scream and punch the pillow to get rid of the pain and stress of waking up and having to exist. I feel like utter shit and this coping mechanism i developed is pretty unhealthy.

I have a huge crush on a girl that I recently became friends with and while talking with her today I found out she’s straight. It felt like a punch in the stomach when the words came out of her mouth but at the same time it might be a good thing that I have no chance with her. If I were to date her it would likely end terribly knowing myself and my past romantic relationships and I really don’t want to lose her. She is the most interesting person I have ever met and I usually struggle to socialize with other women but I clicked with her instantly. I believe that while it hurts like hell, it would probably be easier for me to get over this than if I had a crush on someone where the possibility existed even if they aren’t interested. Like if I had a crush on someone with a partner, there is the chance they could break up, so I would still be thinking about the possibilities which would make it harder for me to get over it. With this it is just simply impossible, she will never feel the same towards me, and I accept it. But I’m also afraid that now I will have unattainable standards because now I only want someone like her and there is literally no one like her. I know everyone says this stuff about their crushes or significant others but it’s seriously different with her. I hope I don’t end up alone yearning for a girlfriend like her for the rest of my life and can just enjoy my friendship with her.

>>2356708
Most of what you're saying is probably true. I am pretty reserved and quiet most of the time so that's probably it, but I'm never actually judging her unless she's doing her whole "I'm so horrible" thing. Even then I'm only a little judgy, mostly I feel bad for her. And yeah I've tried to talk about it in depth a couple of times but she just tells me that she doesn't really know why she acts like this and says she tends to get paranoid, and she has anxiety and is very self-loathing. Again, I completely understand these feelings, but it's so much lately that I can't help but feel like she has some other motives behind it like trying to push me out of her life or something? Idk, I'll try to talk about it again with her but it never really goes anywhere.
>>2356802
I'm really sorry that happened to you, nona. Her being abused wouldn't exactly line up with what she's told me but she could be not telling the truth. The only thing about letting her know that it makes me uncomfortable is I feel it'll give her more of an excuse to reiterate how unlovable and horrible she is and how it's "proof" that I shouldn't be her friend because she just "makes me suffer". I'd have already said that if I wasn't worried about the backlash, but hopefully I can soon. Thank you both though

>>2356818
You have to try and find something else that's similar but different.
For example, I tend to scratch and pick the skin of my hands, so now they're all fucked with lots of spots, but I noticed that I stop when I have things like pic related, it just play with the ring and move it between my fingers and I changed a bracelet like pic related by adding a bead that slides around so I don't scratch or pick the skin of my wrists.
Maybe you could try some sport that will let you punch of stuff, you don't even need to actually punch something, just punch the air to the rhythm of a song.

>>2356818
get through it the best way you can nona. tasking "healthy coping skills" is really important, if i keep things relatively clean and put together for myself and my environment, it feels like less of a gargantuan task to simply do the upkeep when i notice it. that also keeps me from doing more unhealthy things, because the healthy ones keep me busy enough. the only way out is through. you got this i believe in u