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No. 2507010
Discuss all topics pertaining to ADHD, ADD, or ASD experiences as a woman here.
Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles that accompany ADHD/ADD/ASD, or share strategies that you developed to help cope with your diagnosis. Share your advice to cope with your issues related to your ADHD/ADD/ASD.
Or even discuss your thoughts on how recent attention to ASD/ADD/ADHD on social media affects those really afflicted.
Previous threads:
#6:
>>>/ot/2346005 #5:
>>>/ot/2022269#4:
>>>/ot/1687145#3:
>>>/ot/1438835#2:
>>>/ot/1198440#1:
>>>/ot/586560Anons with ADHD, ADD, & ASD should all be best friends. There is much strength to be gained through unity. The spergs need the ADHD crowd to tell them when they're being retarded, and anons need spergs to tell them when they need to focus. We unanimously refuse the balkanization of this thread. Our resolve is represented through the choice of thread picture.
No. 2507186
>>2507073Same. I usually don’t feel all that lonely until I go out to socialise and I run into something that feels like an invisible wall between me and other people. The more I run into it, the more it hurts, and the more likely I am to go back to isolating myself. Then after a few months of that I forget about the wall and go out there again, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, certain that it will be different
this time and I’ll be sure to have a good time
this time, only to run head-first into the wall again. I’ve had CBT from a social anxiety specialist (who admitted she knew nothing about ASD) which only ended up making me feel worse in the long run because even when I’m at my most optimistic and confident, other people didn’t get the same script and still treat me the same way they always do.
Anyway, I’m wondering if anyone has some advice on how to deal with it when people are rude to you. For example, one thing that happens very often is when I’m talking to someone and a little circle of people forms, and then someone steps in front of me and cuts me out of the circle. Often they knock into me with their bag or even step on my toes. Usually when I say “hey, excuse me” or something along those lines, they just ignore me, and I don’t want to start shouting or physically shove myself back into the circle because that would be rude too. So I take that as my cue to leave.
Another common thing is that people start loudly talking over me when I’m talking. I used to think this was a sign I was going on too long, but they even do this when I’m only on my first or second sentence. If I stop talking to let them finish I never get another chance of getting a word in, and if I raise my voice (because maybe I was talking too quietly and they didn’t realise I was talking already?) they raise their voice too to continue talking over me. Again, I don’t like shouting, so this is my cue to shut up. The worst is when they start talking about me in third person like I’m not there, but fortunately that doesn’t happen very often. Usually they just act like they never noticed me there in the first place.
On one occasion a coworker sat down on my very small desk while I was trying to work and knocked over my (fortunately empty) coffee cup onto my keyboard. She didn’t apologise and no one else in there room acknowledged that anything happened either even though they all saw. When I told her to find somewhere else to sit everyone just laughed and she didn’t move, so I grabbed my laptop and went to work in the hallway.
We never covered any of this in social skills training. Instead we focused on recognising basic expressions on cartoon faces and learning how to be less of a nuisance. The assumption was always that if there’s some conflict between an autistic person and another person, it’s the autistic person’s fault for being socially awkward. So the only conflict resolution we ever learned was how to apologise, never how to effectively stand up for ourselves. Has anyone ITT ever had something like assertiveness training? Did that help?
No. 2508454
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>>2508405I finally found this
No. 2508734
>>2508463Yeah
Can you just titrate the dose yourself? What are you taking?
No. 2508743
>>2508454This is absolutely beautiful
>So I turned to a group that was hated by my original community, that is, the NarutardsKekkk
No. 2509076
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>>2509069The cover art is so intense and serious. I guess they have their own religion too? Kek
No. 2510311
>>2510305>A therapist told me to practice recognizing "small" feelings like contentment when you eat a food you like, but it didn't help me that much. I also started keeping track of my mood each day (good, neutral, or bad) to force myself to think about it more. I think maybe it helps a little.I try to journal regularly and this is along the lines of what I have mostly tried. It's not really working for me either.
>Normally, I can only tell my emotions because of how they physically manifest. Like I know what happiness feels like in a somatic sense more than an emotional sense.I will try to do this maybe then. Focus more on behavior and physical aspects. Thank you. I already recognize some stress behaviors but will focus in on what I am doing.
No. 2510414
>>2510302Keep a journal (can be digital in your phone) of every time you do recognize a feeling. Write down what you think caused it like "happy - favorite team won, new anime episode dropped, ordered a book i've been eyeing for a while, had a nice dinner". Think about and write down anything else you feel too like "energized, comfy, sleepy, full, bored".
Eventually you should see patterns like "I tend to feel happy after eating food I like, but it also makes me sleepy. I'm also happy after buying things online, that gives me energy and I get more active to go out". It forces you to think about your actions, your mood, and how they connect. The connections you make like "food = happy + sleepy" makes your brain create neurological pathways so you remember it easier, which in turn makes it easier and easier to identify how you feel based on your "data".
No. 2510496
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>>2507186Made me realize why I hate all the recommendations on adaptations for autists.
You ARE a nuisance to them, all they want is for you to disappear. Make yourself smaller, less auspicious. Autistic ""help"" is entirely focused on how to resign in appealing to normies.
It completely ignores autists own needs and mental health. You are not allowed to be, en principle. They don't care that constantly pretending and playing by their rules is hurtful to you and breeds self hatred, anxiety and depression. All the complaints on your own feeling of alienation are completely ignored, it only matters insofar as it bothers other people.
I reality contrary to normalfaggot advice, being brash, principled and unapologeticly You, instead of adapting to gay ballistic patterns, will lead you to net higher benefit. You will never be truly part of their community anyways, but being confident and not giving a fuck will force them to SEE you and reconcile with your existence.You will start to occupy [space]. Which is when you can actually heal and start to feel human. Being a pushover is literally the worst possible advice you can give any person but for some reason it's OK to tell that to an autist and then flap your eyes like you are innocent. It's all unironically malice and those people are not on your side.
No. 2510564
>>2510496Kek kinda this. I noticed when I was a pushover at work and helped everyone nobody actually liked me or respected me. Now when I openly say "no" to things and simply don't let people tell me what to do and do my own thing anyway, people still don't like me but they don't make attempts at pushing me anymore. They simply backed off. 3 years ago I was basically scared of saying "no" at work because I thought something bad was going to happed or I will be fired, but I stayed because I was a good employee and I got an idefinite period contract and after that I gradually gained more confidence. Then when I started pointing out double standards and hypocrisy (how some people are allowed to slack off but not me etc. despite working slower than me) and openly talking about bullying I experienced from one of the coworkers, I got pushback from many people from my work and they openly started to show they don't like me, talked behind my back, said I faked illness when I was literally post surgery, or how my tone is "rude" when I say something kek. But I stayed anyway and continued to do my shit and say what I think and refuse to do their job for them. Now they simply backed off, they still don't like me, but nobody even tries to get in my way or simply tell me what to do because they know I won't let them. I won't finish someone's work for them because they decided to have a chit chat for 30 minutes instead of working, I won't do a certain thing they asked me to do because I know that it is not an established rule to do this certain thing and I will not do it until it is established during a meeting as a new rule etc. I refused to come to work extra on sunday too when my shift leader told me "they have nobody else to plan but me" and I was like sorry but you have 10 different people besides me, and I took vacation for monday and tuesday and I have a long weekend with activities planned for those 4 days, so it's not happening. So she let go. Back in the day I would simply agree for this shit kek. I was the only person who refused to give money for manager's wedding present because I said it's ridiculous to pressure employees to give money to someone who earns more than them and is basically a stranger and I refused to do a bunch of other retarded stuff I had "peer pressure" to do. I love to see the buffering visible on their faces when you simply say no to them.
No. 2510658
>>2510496It's not that all adaptations are bad for autists, it's that normies think normie advice works for autists when it doesn't. It's like
>>2510411 said just speaking your honest mind gets you labelled with a disorder. Similarly to what you're saying I swear by just being yourself and accept that you're generally always going to be the quirky one. That gets you the furthest in life. When you apologize basically just for existing people see you as weak, but when you just walk in like you own the place people think you know what you're doing so they just accept it.
It sounds retarded, but following quirky successful celebs helps you see it. Lady Gaga gets to wear a dress made of literal meat and still be famous and beloved so why can't you be a bit quirky too? Most of us aren't even
that weird in comparison to what celebs do!
No. 2510731
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>>2510722I was literally about to post about this non, i started concerta 18mg. I’ve been taking it in the morning and eating protein. It just doesn’t work other than the morning. I’m an autist too so maybe that adds to it. But strattera worked way better than this, probably because it’s 24hr. I don’t know if i need a more intense stimulant or if I should just go back to strattera.
No. 2510761
>>2510754Bro you're just not trying hard enough to be normal bro try more not having those thoughts and going out and liking people more bro (
yes I'm just parroting that anon from the previous thread)
No. 2510783
>>2510770>Maybe, just maybe, they're not "trying" and just happen to actually be on the more normal side of the spectrum than you? Maybe, but those types usually shame the giga autists and thats my problem with them. They put us amd our symptoms down to get NT approval
>What's even your problem, that other autists aren't autistic enough for you to hang out with them? That they're accepted by other people and you're not?Yeah? I think thats a pretty undesrtandable and human feeling to have. Normal people will never understand or like me due to how fucked up I am, I thinks that a pretty reasonable cause for envy and mental anguish
No. 2510848
>>2510305This is what I was taught too, mostly in the context of anxiety. They told me to try to identify my body’s reactions (increased heartbeat, sweating, being jittery) and try to contextualise those. This doesn’t work as well for other emotions though because those mostly express in the same way for me; insomnia, irritability and/or crying. I also cry when I’m overwhelmed. For ages I just thought I was sad constantly because I cried so much. I was in my twenties before I learned that crying doesn’t always = sad, it can be caused by other things, too. Blew my mind.
>>2510496Ayrt and I kind of agree. I understand why some behavioural concessions are necessary for a functioning society etc. but the problem is that this isn’t applied equally; I’m always the one making all the concessions. I’m the one always staying quiet so others can speak and removing myself to make space for other people. And the other anons are right that this does not endear me to people even though I’ve been taught it should. Instead people treat me like a nuisance anyway, and respect me even less. One woman literally got annoyed with me when she stepped on my foot because it startled her that SHE stepped on MY foot and I should have prevented that from happening somehow, even though she’s the one who walked up and decided to try and occupy the same space I was already standing in. What was I supposed to do, dematerialise? I can make myself as small as physically possible and people still get annoyed with me for existing at all.
The main problem with the social skills training I got is that it was clearly developed for stereotypical male autists who need to be taught basic consideration for others and not girls who’ve received the full brunt of female socialisation from birth. It was basically female socialisation on steroids. Be quiet, make yourself small, always be the first to apologise even when it wasn’t really your fault (“it shows goodwill!”), always take the blame, believe others’ version of events over your own because your own perception can’t be trusted. It probably messed me up more than I already was, and it feels like I have a big flashing sign on my back that attracts people with bullying tendencies like chum attracts sharks.
Which brings me back to my original question: has anyone here done something like assertiveness training and was it helpful? I struggle to stand up for myself at all, and when I do I struggle to control my emotions. I cry when I’m angry which just makes me look hysterical and like I’m overreacting. I really want to learn how to stay calm while standing my ground.
No. 2510851
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Why Yes I'm still going to make OCs for the lion king in my late 20s (and a bunch of other OCs for various anime)
As a kid I loved this Disney magazine they published monthly for kids, I don't remember the name of it, but it had a bunch of funfacts about real animals and some short comic book stories, I only cared about those with the Lion King where they made new original lion cub characters like Malka, Tama, Chumvi, Kula and Tojo. Malka was cute and I had a crush on him. He was a total chad and rizzed Nala in front of Simba the first time they met kek
I wish the new Lion King cartoon just used those characters instead of the shitty new ones
No. 2510863
>>2510819Nice, but you're being a bit too broad though I think. "Society needs to treat me better" sound good for everyone, but can you give concrete suggestions for how they would do and implement this? Because most people would probably say they are really trying to be kind and accepting and it's hard to do anything except go "yeah let's all be nicer" but then nothing happens because that doesn't come with clear directions, you know what I mean?
If you narrow it down, what are some changes you want in your own life specifically? Like would you like a stable friend group, a nearby horse back riding club to hang out in, a fun dream job, and so on?
No. 2510881
>>2510848>One woman literally got annoyed with me when she stepped on my foot because it startled her that SHE stepped on MY footFucking nerve. She was either a deranged narc or she did it on purpose to belittle you. A total cunt anyway. Idk if it's partly age related but I used to be so meek, then I got in a fight with a literal pedo moid and the confidence boost in knowing I was in the right hasn't left me since, I now enjoy fighting people lmao. I would have enjoyed challenging her in public, making sure everyone in there knows she was being a total cunt by loudly repeating "so YOU stepped on my foot, and you want ME to apologize to you?" with my perfectly practiced face of calm concern. I'm enough of an obvious autist that people can tell so she'd be caught publicly bullying a tard. I had no idea my ability to look emotionless and monotone would come in so handy, I can be raging or want to cry on the inside but look perfectly fine and calm on the outside making people pick my side because the other is raging out on me while I'm the calm reasonable one.
>has anyone here done something like assertiveness training and was it helpful?No, but I think it would be. Accidentally training myself to fight the pedo made me grow so much as a person and my confidence is so much higher! I think you should go for it!
No. 2510893
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>>2510864I fucking despise furries! When I was a kid I had innocent crushes like teenage Simba or Disney fox Robin Hood, but I never fantasized about having sex with them or something. And sure when I made my lion OCs eventually they also had love interests and some had kids, but I never thought about sex between them and I was focused more on the adventures and drama and I just liked coming up with new designs. Overall I always loved the art style for animals in Disney (especially in TLK, Bambi, the Fox and the Hound, Lady and Trump and 101 Dalmatians), I follow Aaron Blaise on his youtube art channel and love James Baxter's work. I just find their animal designs really comfy. I never cared for Disney movies about humans and only watched them as an older teenager and the only one I actually like is the Hunchback of Notre Dame (pure kino). TLK was also probably the first VHS tape and full soundtrack on CD I owned as a kid and my first fixation I remember, and something that actively made me think about pursuing art and animation when I grow up. I also loved Dreamworks' Spirit because I was a horse girl, but that came later. I really wish Disney had some horse relatded movie in their golden or renaissance era. The only prominent 2D horses they made were Pegasuses in Hercules and in Fantasia which were so cute. There was also mrs. Frou Frou in Artistocats but who cares about her
I don't even like the look of anthropomorphic animals tbh and I don't see the appeal
No. 2510912
>>2510863>Nice, but you're being a bit too broad though I think.I thought that I was being pretty concrete but whatever. I have no problem explaining my vision of the world that Id be actually comfortable in so here we go. First of all, neurotypicals have a tendency to accuse us (mentals) of "using our disability as an excuse" and what I want for them to get into their heads is that sometimes it is very much an excuse or at least a reason to be softer on the said mentally disabled person. You cant hold someone who is incapable of experiencing empathy or understanding social cues to the same standarts you hold a normal person to, and it goes for all mental ilness (even those that I personally find hard to deal with like schizophrenia or adhd). My main problem with "normal" assimilationist autist is that by declaring that were the same as neurotypicals they are forcing us in the same box as NTs. In my ideal society mentals and drug addicts would receive more support and your average person would make more of an effort to understand and symphatize with us by taking our differences into consideration when makimg harsh judgements about us. The psychiatrict system would too be reformed, mentally ill people should be given as much freedom as it is safe for them, instititions should prioritize the individuality of their patients at all cost. I also want people (even the NTs) to be socially encouraged to participiate in "weird" but harmless fun, like climbing things, parkouring or jumping around, drawing or grafitying on public property without causing any damage, roleplaying or playing with toys (if they want to), collecting radom "cringe" objects, I want people to sculpt weird stuff, write unconventional books, I want people to draw and sew, I want professions like blacksmithing to be relevant once again simply because someone passionate enough decided so. I want people to dress and do makeup howveer they want no matter how shitty it looks, I want a free society that encourages creativity and having fun. I want a world that prioritizes change and reformation, especially for addicts and criminals, and even if reformation is impossible I still want everyone to be treated with compassion. Unfortunately I have no idea how to implement this, my vision of the world is practically an utopia, so I will probably remain miserable and misunderstood forever.
No. 2510916
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>>2508405>>2509069Don't forget Balto. Without it we wouldn't have kino like Kay Fedewa and her Black Blood Alliance on deviantart. Still not as big as the TLK OC scene I think but also spawned quite a lot of autism
For me another big one was the tv series for Watership Down… I think it was from late 90s but in my country they were airing it on tv around 2004 I think
No. 2510949
>>2510881I’ll strive to achieve your level one day nonna, that sounds great. Screw that creep.
Unfortunately I appear the opposite of emotionless and monotone when I’m upset, my tear ducts are like faucets that open up as soon as I’m upset in any way. So even if I’m objectively in the right I’ll always look like an overreacting weirdo. Plus my first instinct is always to blame myself and assume I’m in the wrong or must have misunderstood something, and it takes me at least a few seconds (often much longer) to properly analyse the situation and realise I wasn’t in the wrong. Apologising and running away is more like a reflex for me than a conscious act and that makes it even more difficult to then turn around and go “actually I’m NOT sorry” lmao. Pretty sure that returning minutes later to call someone out would make me look even more unhinged.
One time at work I was supposed to deliver a message and when I met the recipient in the hallway she said “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you must be mistaking me for someone else” and I was mortified, but when I checked with other coworkers they verified it was the right person and that I said the right thing and they had no idea why she’d respond like that. But I’d already agreed and apologised for the ‘mistake’. I hate that I’m like this.
>I think you should go for it!Thanks! I wish I knew where to find something like this, though. Everything I can find along these lines is for children and teenagers, not adults. Maybe I should look for some kind of self defence training?
>>2510933This happens to me too but
only when I’m joking. When I’m genuinely recalling an experience people will raise their eyebrows sceptically or roll their eyes but when I say the most ridiculous shit as an obvious joke they take me 100% seriously.
No. 2510951
>>2510940>there were dinosaur aliensHoly shit whaaaaat
I only saw the original and the sequel in which Littlefoot finds his father (what the fuck) and it turns out the father also raised some other little dinosaur that wasn't his biological son and that small dinosaur gets jealous of Littlefoot and the attention he gets from his long lost dad. For some reason I loved the themes of jealousy between characters and when one character was suffering because of it kek
No. 2510963
>>2510929>You've said you're jealous of both normie and high(er) functioning autists, but then what is it you want from them more exactly? Not just like "more compassion" or "to understand me".I want to be accepted and not judged or ostracized, I want to be free to talk about what I do forfun even if its "strange" or "creepy", like infodumping about diseases and bodily fluids (my special intetests). Itd also be neat to not be met with bewilderment when I talk about my philosophy or how I see the world.
>Do you want friendships and relationships with them, and if so what activities is it you want to perform that you can't do now? Or would you want them to leave you alone?Kind of both. I do occasionally feel urges to participiate in normal person stuff like going to the cinema with friends or hanging out in a public space, both of those are nearly impossible for me to perform as normal people woild be embarrassed to be around me because of my unkempt looks and tendency to stim whenever I get even slightly emotional (jumping or running around in circles, clicking my tongue, banging my arm on my head, making repetitive noises or pnrases) I guess I just want friends who are okay with this stuff but thats like a wet dream because everyonr is so tolerant of disabled people until they actually meet one pf them in real life.
>You say want a creative society, does that mean you like to be creative and do some kind of art and doing that would make you happy? I have a tendency to create fictional worlds in my head and be really indulgent in them, I like making stuff related to my fictional worlds or characters, like plushies or drawings or stories/text based roleplay. This is my main form of interacting with other people because I largerly find conversations related to the real world unfulfilling and dull, I guess itd be nice to find people who are also as obsessed with creatibg fiction as me and dont think that me constantly bringing it up is annoying.
>Basically in your ideal society, where are you and what are you doing?I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retard, Im able to create meaningful interesting stories inside of my head, I just dont reveal them because I dont want to be judged or scrutinized for unconventional motives in them or be made fun of. But I guess if that didnt exist then I could probably make a living out of my art and meet more likeminded people.
No. 2510987
>>2510963I'm sorry but if you don't want people to judge you, then don't talk about bodily fluids with strangers. Some autists have this "me me me" mentality where they want to be accepted, and understood, but then they refuse to accept or understand others. Most people, normie or not, don't want to discuss bodily fluids - you have to understand that and accept that about them. Society isn't going to change for one person: you have to change to meet the norms of society. I understand that this is difficult, but it's what has to happen. You can't be smashing your head with your arm, or running around in circles, or making strange noises, and then expect people to pretend that you aren't acting like a freak.
>as normal people would be embarrassed to be around me because of my unkempt looksI'm autistic and I would also be ashamed to be seen with someone that is unkempt. It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum. When you are unkempt, you're projecting this image of "I don't care enough to try," to the world, so why should other people care to try and understand you? Nobody is saying that you have to be super fashionable, but you have to at least look clean and well-groomed. Nobody wants to interact with dirty-looking slobs that smell bad and wear wrinkly stained clothing that hasn't been washed in a week.
>I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retard, Im able to create meaningful interesting stories inside of my head, I just dont reveal them because I dont want to be judged or scrutinized for unconventional motives in them or be made fun of.I think you're trying to make excuses for why you haven't become an artist or an author yet. There are lots of artists and authors that operate online and that don't attend conventions or events, and a lot of them are autistic too. I also think the your desire to be famous is maybe speaking more to the autistic egoism. Do you want to be an artist or an author because you want to create, or do you want to be an artist or an author because other people would pay attention to you? It seems more like your aspirations are imagined vehicles to social success.
>I guess itd be nice to find people who are also as obsessed with creatibg fiction as me and dont think that me constantly bringing it up is annoyingThere are thousands of spaces, online and offline, that are dedicated to this. I know of 3 clubs in my city that are dedicated to world-building, and many more that are related to fiction like sci-fi or fantasy.
A lot of your problems sound self-made. It seems that you don't want to do any work to improve yourself. A very external locus of control. Get some self-help books, go to therapy, learn coping skills, learn social skills, and 9/10 of your problems would be solved.
>>2510754Like the others said, it seems more like you're jealous that other autists took the time and energy to actually improve themselves and lessen the severity of their symptoms.
>>2510559Your ADHD larp isn't working, sperg.
No. 2511028
>>2510987> I understand that this is difficult, but it's what has to happen. You can't be smashing your head with your arm, or running around in circles, or making strange noises, and then expect people to pretend that you aren't acting like a freak. Dude do you think Im not aware of this? Its exactly why Im miserable. Im aware that my desires are utopian and impossible to execute. And no I dont bring up any of that shit when talking to strangers
>I'm autistic and I would also be ashamed to be seen with someone that is unkempt. It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum. This is what I meant when I said that i cant talk to normie autists. You think that because its easy for you then it must be easy for all of us
>I think you're trying to make excuses for why you haven't become an artist or an author yet.No Im not, Im just aknowledging the reality of how my life is, Im too scared and embarrased to make anything of myselg
>I also think the your desire to be famous is maybe speaking more to the autistic egoism. Do you want to be an artist or an author because you want to create, or do you want to be an artist or an author because other people would pay attention to you?I dont necersly have a desire to be famous, when I said that I could probbaly make a living out of my art if I wasnt a pussy and people werent judgemental I was just aknolwedging the fact that I do have talents.
>I know of 3 clubs in my city that are dedicated to world-building, and many more that are related to fiction like sci-fi or fantasy. Theres none in the shithole tjat I live in
>Get some self-help books, go to therapy, learn coping skills, learn social skills, and 9/10 of your problems would be solved.You make all of this sound so easy its annoying.
No. 2511040
>>2511028No, I'm sorry, but you need to shower and put on deodorant and groom yourself. That's not up for debate. I've been depressed and it was hard for me to shower then too, but I still did it.
>You think that because its easy for you then it must be easy for all of usLife isn't easy. Even for normies or "normie autists" or whatever you wanna call the people that you envy. Everyone has to do things that they don't wanna do. Everyone has to struggle sometimes. You're not the exception to the rule. Finding it hard to shower, or wear clean clothes, or put on deodorant isn't an excuse not to do those things.
>Im too scared and embarrased to make anything of myselgYeah, but this is your fault, not society's fault. You need to work on improving your self-esteem, society isn't going to improve that for you. If you really have talents, then start using those talents instead of wallowing in self-pity and expecting ass-pats from everyone.
>You make all of this sound so easy its annoying.It kind of is that easy though. You can find pirated files of self-help books online, there's a mountain of resources online for people to improve their social skills and to learn new coping skills too. It's 2025, we have the entire sum of all human knowledge at our disposable through the world wide web. The only thing that's a bit hard is going to therapy because it costs money, but everything else is free and requires only some time and an open mind.
>>2511033>We should have a million echo-chambers so nobody's fee fees get hurt!Be real lmao.
>>2511037Me too. Christ.
No. 2511050
>>2511040>No, I'm sorry, but you need to shower and put on deodorant and groom yourself. That's not up for debate. I've been depressed and it was hard for me to shower then too, but I still did it.But I am not you. We are different people, I know that those things are a necessity, that doesnt change the fact that I still struggle wity them due to the fact that I am in my head 90% of the time. I struggle with forgettung that I have a physical body with needs that I need to take care of because I am so engulfed by the world inside of my head. Just because its easy for you doesnt mean that its easy for me, especially when its so clear that were on different sides of the spectrum. I just wish I was given a level of understanding for things that I struggle with instead of being dissmissed or ridiculed for them.
>Life isn't easy. Even for normies or "normie autists" or whatever you wanna call the people that you envy. Everyone has to do things that they don't wanna do. Everyone has to struggle sometimes. You're not the exception to the rule. Finding it hard to shower, or wear clean clothes, or put on deodorant isn't an excuse not to do those things.Do you realize that it isnt a matter of what I want or dont want to do? If it was my way Id be normal. Not everything in life is alterable, even when I was in therapy I still struggled with those, how is this a hard concept to grasp
>Yeah, but this is your fault, not society's fault. I mean its lowkey both? I am insecure because I am judged, if I wanst judged Id be less insecure.
>It kind of is that easy thoughIts just not? I dont see a reason as to why youre denying this. Not all of us have the power or the abbility to pull purselves by the bootsraps, this is like asking a paralyzed person to stand up and walk again. This conversation is moving nowhere.
No. 2511053
File: 1746400270387.jpg (65.03 KB, 540x272, melancholy.jpg)
>>2511050>>2511051You're right. I shouldn't have bothered to respond to you because it's obvious that you're never gonna admit that you're the only one that has the power to improve your life.
No. 2511064
>>2511053I wrote this post
>>2511051 and I'm not the same anon as
>>2511050 and you keep talking out of your ass. Being able to acknowledge the differences in degrees of mental ilnesses and saying that we have the power to change our lives is not mutually exclusive, yet you keep acting like someone here constantly denies the second sentence so you keep fruitlessly repeat it over and over in a truly autistic manner
No. 2511088
>>2511050>Not everything in life is alterableHave you tried antidepressants?
>>2511064Using a low functioning autist to one up themself is honestly funny and pathetic.
No. 2511380
>>2511088>Have you tried antidepressants? I was on multiple antipsychotics and antidepressants when I was a teen, so yes.
>>2511265>I would be your friend, you sound coolI think yourr just being nice but thats okay
No. 2511609
File: 1746444168586.jpeg (100.21 KB, 795x635, IMG_8566.jpeg)
It would seem that I have failed the vibe check once again. My coworkers are having a barbecue that I am not invited to. I just think it’s so funny when normies preach about inclusion then don’t even practice it. Also the “im LITERALLY so adhd” thing is CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. They have “adhd” because they are addicted to following astroturfed trends, get rage baited by algorithms, and have low self control. I have adhd because I can’t hold an interest for longer than a couple weeks and even cartel beheadings no longer give me a dopamine rush. WE ARE NOT THE SAME
No. 2511655
>>2510963ayrt while not exactly the utopia you're looking for, it's not impossible to find friends like that. Though since your interests are niche it would probably be easiest online in groups to have sperging needs met. I know other anon said bodily fluids are gross, but I think a lot of medically interested people would actually find it neutral or even interesting. I'm personally not interested in the topic at all, yet if someone had cool facts about it I'd listen with genuine interest because "facts are fun" to my brain. My autistic friends and I info-dump on each other like that about our favorite topics. But you have to also then accept others do the same to you, and you never mentioned being on the receiving end. And you'd have to get over some of that disdain and mistrust for other autists too if you want to have a spergy friend cirle.
>I do occasionally feel urges to participiate in normal person stuff like going to the cinema with friends or hanging out in a public space, both of those are nearly impossible for me to perform as normal people woild be embarrassed to be around me Just get a friend who is as spergy as you, that usually works. You are far from unique, stims and acting odd are known in the autism world so most people who are used to autism would be ok with it. And while the most snobby normie might think it's too odd, there's also a lot of "tolerance preachers" who would actually indulge you without judgement for a couple of hours of hanging out.
>I have a tendency to create fictional worlds >I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retardI can't tell you have to live your life, but to me it sounds like something you should pursue and push. You could actually literally become a microceleb artist/writer. You can test the waters by making anonymous accounts for your art. That way if you get judged and don't like it, you can just delete it all and people won't know it was you. But if it goes decently well you can do things like contact local autist/disability groups to be showcasted in whatever medias they use.
>But I guess if that didnt exist then I could probably make a living out of my art and meet more likeminded people.See here you're right, this is an actual possibility for you. Your art could be the key to get more accepted, get friends, and possibly make a living out of something you like doing. And the thing you say stops you is just fear of judgement. You will be judged, but what if instead you learned to not fear it? That's just one person's opinion! Everyone doesn't have to love your art, you just need a dedicated few who gets it.
No. 2511659
>>2510987>It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum.Bitch this is NOT bare minimum, that is a lot of fucking work! I literally only shower out of these and THAT is bare minimum lmao
Literally just throw on like a t-shirt and hoodie and people will accept you. Styling your hair is needed to be baseline respected? Get the fuck out of here.
No. 2511909
File: 1746465022082.png (581.54 KB, 885x1355, 1000009291.png)
Anyone find the /r/Autisminwomen subreddit incredibly relatable? Picrel
No. 2512471
>>2511909The solution is to heal your own trauma. "But it's hard" yes, because it's trauma. If you currently cannot keep friendships because of your trauma and it's severely effecting your life overall then literally the only thing you can do is to work on it, or just keep suffering. I know that's
triggering for certain people to hear but it's the only solution. "But what if it can't be healed" then you will simply suffer the consequences for the rest of your life. It's not your responsibility to heal the other person's trauma, and it's not ayone else's to heal yours for you either.
No. 2512476
>>2512474Ntayrt but every single person that I've ever met that says something like "oh, I don't get BO!" does, in fact, get BO, but they're too noseblind to realize how bad they stink.
>>2512471100%. Being an adult means holding yourself accountable for your flaws and taking strides to correct them.
No. 2512480
>>2512474This is for Nonnas with The BO Gene. Rest be applied nonetheless lol
>>2512477I would not recommend either. Shit stinks and it can mess up your ph but I've seen a really dumbass debate here on the farms over soapy vaginas so I just threw it in just in case. I wouldn't even recommend those vaginal wash stuff either
No. 2512500
>>2512498Oh it can definitely have an effect I'm not going to lie but generally speaking I'm uninterested in discussing that aspect; namely in an autism context where people gave food selectivity and as long there not eating
too unhealthy, I'm pretty ehh on it. We are also discussing a context of people struggling to find energy for frequent hygienic upkeep so something like a dietary change feels like skipping to step 500 when you are still on step 1
No. 2512522
>>2512489Ayrt and if you want to stink, you do you.
>>2512483Body odour isn't just caused by sweat. There is a specific smell that comes from being unwashed and dirty and it doesn't always come from sweat. People that have the "no stinky sweat" gene can still have body odour.
No. 2512947
>>2512822>My dad keeps proposing to sell my crafts or antiquesI'm confused why this is bad? People do sell crafts and art? You don't need to buy materials for 100, 50 or 10 items to sell, you can just start with 1 or 2. And you set the price you sell it for so if it costs a lot to make you sell it for even more.
>let alone allow their holy daughter to participate in such.lmao nona you do not need your parents permission to take a job, just do it.
>>2512854>When I tell them it is not possible in the current state of market they start offering nonsensical shit that doesnt work. If they offer you things that don't work, YOU have to instead offer them things that do work. You sitting comfy on your butt and being a spoiled little nepo baby while they grow more frustrated and resentful that you don't value their money, work, or time is not a viable option nona. You're not a child, it's not actually their job to support you financially. It's not even their job to help you find a job or even encourage you but they're still trying. Taking that clinic job does actually work btw, because the point isn't for you to go there and have a fun relaxing time - it's to do a job and earn money. You not liking it doesn't matter when the other option is not having any money and being unable to live. Just go get a factory job already and prove that you can do it.
No. 2513066
File: 1746539651877.jpg (310.84 KB, 1080x1067, Screenshot_20250503_205433_Ins…)
Help i need extra easy nutritious meal ideas/safe foods i can meal prep (And maybe re-heat in a pot because my microwave is broken, although i do have one at work if i want to bring food along)
I have the tism, i just started at a new position in the company and it's been a freefall so far,my new coworkers scare me, im on my period, i love cooking but i forgot HOW&when… please tell me about your safe foods fellow autists
No. 2513094
>>2508405Speaking of the Lion king autism I have to post it here! Do you guys think he's a furry? I have a hard time judging this kind of stuff and his channel looks interesting but I don't want to support a furry. Is using your dog as an avatar a furry thing?
I wish we had a TLK thread btw kek
No. 2513638
File: 1746561231473.jpg (309.65 KB, 1080x1246, Screenshot_20250506_214954_Ins…)
>>2513109>>2513104>>2513099Thanks for advice…
I managed to make some riceballs and minestrone soup, the soup turned out pretty well despite consisting of pathethic scrap vegetables. So happy I've got lunch covered for this week…!
No. 2514286
>>2512822Anon if you can nepo yourself into some kind of behind the scenes admin job you should definitely take advantage of that opportunity. Your parents won’t be around to support you forever. Networking is a huge part of finding work and most of us are terrible at it (I know I am) so if you have useful familial connections for gods sake take advantage of them.
.t anon who studied for a decade only to be unable to find a job because I prioritised grades over networking.
>>2513210She became famous for her music and maintains fame by wearing strange costumes. It’s not her natural quirky personality shining through, it’s a calculated PR move. All of these celebrities are backed by PR teams who orchestrate shit like this to keep the public’s attention on their clients. Anon is right that you can’t hold celebrities with a carefully engineered brand and people like us (who presumably aren’t producing extremely popular catchy music) to the same standards because nobody else does. Celebrities get to be weird and outrageous as part of the social contract that made them celebrities in the first place; everyone knows the meat dress was for attention and not something she wears because it’s her personal style. If she kept wearing meat dresses to every event the shock factor would wear off and people would get bored with her and tell her to find a new shtick.
If people like us go out dressed like Lady Gaga, at best people will think “look at that weirdo who’s cosplaying Lady Gaga” at best, or more likely just “look at that weirdo”. I agree with your original post, though. Embracing being That Weirdo can be freeing if the alternative is painfully twisting yourself into a pretzel to pretend to fit in. Especially because many of us don’t manage to fit in no matter what.
>>2513998Mood. I never know which is worse, when their smiles fade and they look away or when the genuine smile turns into the weird patronising kind they’d use to talk to a small child. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time where I didn’t recognise the latter and still thought people genuinely liked me.
No. 2514662
>>2514398Ayrt and my country has mini-celebrities like that too but I’d hesitate to say they’re really beloved. They’re treated more like clowns if anything. There’s a strong reality show culture here and that’s where most of these people come from or turn to when their star starts to wane, regardless of any talent they may have. But most reality ‘stars’ aren’t like the Kardashians, nobody really looks up to them or respects them. They’re nothing more than sources of cheap entertainment that the industry chews up and spits out. It wouldn’t surprise me if the industry preys on autistic people since we do tend to be quirky, gullible and easier to manipulate. Not to mention the guaranteed ~drama~ when someone has a meltdown after being harassed by paparazzi.
I hope it’s better wherever you are, because the situation here is nothing to strive for. I really hate my country’s media sometimes.
No. 2514780
File: 1746643953925.mp4 (1.36 MB, 720x1280, bcffe700d35f848d.mp4)
>obviously extroverted normie tiktok whore who films herself getting fucked by gross scrotes on onlyfans
>im autistic btw :3 in bio
its all so tiresome
No. 2514840
>>2514780And it's always some woman you just know treated autistic girls like dogshit in school. The mean girls who were condescending to and laughed at spergs grew up to pretend to be spergs. I don't understand how this happened.
>>2514792I don't have ADHD but my friend does and she graduated from college but had a hard time and took longer than her peers. She says it was worth it to finish, but she also says that things only really improved once she was diagnosed and got on medication and developed a supportive network of people who encouraged healthy habits like studying and working out and eating well. Maybe you could see if there are local study groups to help enforce accountability/communal quiet study times or something like that?
No. 2514960
>>2514662>But most reality ‘stars’ aren’t like the Kardashians, nobody really looks up to them or respects themAnon… people don't respect or look up to the Kardashians either… kek
>>2513998Have you ever tried wearing dark sunglasses? I've found that for autists that struggle with social interactions, the one thing that's hardest for them to change (and the one thing that outs them as weird to normies) is their eye contact. If your eyes are obscured someway, like with sunglasses, you'll be surprised how easy a lot of social interactions become. If they ever ask why you're wearing sunglasses indoors, just say that you get chronic migraines and that the LED lights
trigger episodes. Eventually, after you become more self-confident in social interaction, you won't need to use the sunglasses anymore.
No. 2515358
>>2515032Right. The sensation of foundation on my face makes me want to claw my skin off. Fake lashes make me want to tear my eyelids off. Itchy, cheap, polyester clothing (especially revealing clothing that has lots of holes or gaps in it, or stuff like bustiers that have wires inside or rough seams inside) feels so disgusting against my skin and is a
trigger. I cant imagine being genuinely autistic yet constantly dressing yourself in this itchy uncomfortable crap.
>>2515287Sensory issues are like a mainstay of autism kek. Some studies put it as high as 93%. This is why 'autism' has become a meaningless term that normalfags self dx with now, because the criteria that real autists almost uniformly experience gets dismissed as an exception instead of the rule.
No. 2515391
>>2515366Fun fact, when westerners and japanese people first met they were both freaked out by each others stench. The japanese people thought westerners smelled liked old milk, due to their dairy heavy diets making them smell that way. And western people thought the japanese people smelled like rotten fish, due to their fish heavy diets making them smell.
Basically, you smell like the rotting/fermenting/old version of what you eat, because that's what's happening in your belly and the smell leaks out. A bit freaky to think about.
No. 2516090
>>2515602Maybe i wasn't specific enough, when I mean racing thoughts, I mean my brain ping pongs between things like, "Oh i really want to paint my office, what should i paint it? there's too many options, I should take photos and do some mockups, i need to charge my phone, I really should focus on work, I wonder what events are happening this weekend, let me take out the trash, I feel like I'm wasting my day, I should focus on work, etc" But one right after the other and it's hard to actually action on anything. I don't think it's anxiety, none of the thoughts are worrying about anything.
>>2515966Thanks nona, as I get older, I do realize that there is more of a pattern to this. I had another one last night and figured for the first time seeing if anyone experiences anything similar.
No. 2516794
>>2515549Yeah.
Im fine with being "ugly" and "abrasive." I saw a Reddit comment describe an unattractive but married woman who the commentator described as quite abrasive, and Ive aspired to be like her since.
No. 2517083
>>2516888Talk to your psych and see if they suggest an alternative and/or a "holiday" from meds. It's not a bad idea but it's good to do with supervision, especially if you deal with insurance. If it's an agreed-on holiday, it will be easier to pick back up smoothly or get an alternative afterwards.
>>2517001 idea of monitoring your status and if you've taken meds as much as you can from now on is great as well, very helpful.
Have you had any health/life/environmental changes in the past year? Changed any other medication? Stressful events? It could just be a tolerance issue but there's a lot that can affect things. Try to think of anything like that to report to your psych when you bring up the issue.
No. 2517298
File: 1746755435018.png (144.75 KB, 500x500, 1650319417673.png)
Anyone else hate writing birthday cards? Whether I like the person or not, it's always so damn mentally taxing to figure out what to say that's can't just be said with a pre-written card. Everyone always says "just be genuine!" but it gets to a point (especially when it's an old person) where it's tough to pretend to be bubbly over a yearly event like that
No. 2517613
>>2517599Finding the cause of and solution to autism should be an absolute priority tbh. Most genetic conditions can be detected before a child is born, whether that's through carrier screening, amniocentesis, embryo testing, etc. Parents should have as much advance warning as possible so they can make an educated decision. Autism cant be diagnosed for several years after birth and it's a scary possibility.
The irony of the pearl clutching from autists themselves is that if they have the ability to comment on political issues, they are pretty high functioning. Low functioning artists are legit disabled and will need care their entire life. Nobody would care this much if the only risk was having a nerdy kid, as opposed to a screaming retard in diapers.
No. 2517688
>>2517599>I genuinely don’t understand the people pearl clutching about there being research to find if there is an autism gene.If they found it it would be good so they could fix it. I don't find aborting any fetus for any reason to be bad personally, it could be the healthiest looking fetus and if the mother doesn't want it then off it should go.
Though I don't really believe there is such a thing as the autism gene. The label is now super inclusive and convoluted. I'm not at all convinced autism is just one thing, I think there's a whole group of genes, conditions and disorders that have been grouped together and are now called autism. That's why someone could have autism in that they're socially retarded but not have a single of the other issues (like sensory issues), while another person could have every autism symptom on earth
except the social deficit and thus not be considered an autist. It's been branded as a "spectrum" because they failed to narrow it down to one thing. It's possible they potentially could locate AN autistic gene, which would presumably be the most obvious retard kind of gene and that's still a good start though.
I think most angry people are fakers tbh. If there's suddenly a way to prove someone is or isn't an autist genetically that ruins their whole autist identity they've formed. I'm one of those who are still unsure my diagnosis is even accurate, and I would be delighted if it turned out I'm not an autist after all. I'd still have my issues but the cause would be different and thus there could potentially be different treatments and help for it.