File: 1615055986387.jpg (40.95 KB, 800x450, wafflethecatsubmitsacomplaint.…)
No. 755729
Previous thread:
>>>/ot/726714The thread equivalent of a shoulder you can cry on.
No. 755746
File: 1615057801317.png (67.67 KB, 240x240, tumblr_nwdyzfOPzt1ugye8so8_250…)
starting off the second post grim by letting you know my dog was put down this morning. her syndrome took a turn for the worst in literally 24 hours.
her organs were failing and the seizures left her paralyzed that after she got a bit of initial treatment we decided to put her down so she wouldn't be in pain. she was only 9 and a half, so I always imagined she would live until like 12 easily and comfortably. I cried as soon as I saw her sad eyes over facetime since I'm in a different province. Nothing about her looks old, she had beautiful fur, an adorable face, perky ears and all her teeth. This is my first pet loss since my parents moved around and travelled too much to have one before. Thanks for reading this if you did.
No. 755750
>>755746i'm sorry for your loss, i hope you can feel better soon
nonny sad face>>755742its okay anon, me too, i love you
No. 755757
File: 1615059056179.png (2.38 MB, 1072x1578, s.png)
I'm not going to launch into a vent about how disappointingly stupid zoomers are especially for the unprecedented amount of access they have to all the information in the world, instead I will simply say this: I hate it here. Pic very related
No. 755769
>>755746I'm so sorry anon. I hope doggy heaven exists, and I hope she's up there making friends and frolicking pain free. The angels pick up her poop and bring her fresh water and good food, she passes every day with friends and naps, until she can see you again. Thank you for giving her a home here on Earth. I'm sure that even if it was a short while, this place was heaven for her because of you and your family.
I dread the day I'll have to say goodbye to my own dog. Pets are so precious and bring so much love and joy into our lives, it's terribly cruel that they don't live for even half of our lifetimes. I hope that in the future, if you are ever feeling up to it, that you'll be able to welcome another dog into your life.
No. 755778
>>755746I'm so sorry, anon. She's not in pain anymore, and I'm sure she has so many happy memories of you with her. She loved you, and she knew you loved her, and that's what matters the most.
It's so unfair how short our pets' lives often are, but I think if we can show them love, care and give them joyful experiences where we can, it's all worth it in the end. You don't have to live long to be happy.
No. 755797
>>755792I want to believe it's a combination of that he's just scared of being wrongfully accused of something himself, and that he is conflating accusations against someone he really likes as a slight against him/his opinions.
Or at least, that's the only way I can delude myself to believe there are men out there who aren't secretly sexist pedo perverts or something. You know him better than I ever will, though, anon. I hope it improves or you guys are able to talk it out - chances are he doesn't fully understand why he's so defensive about it either and it's more of a kneejerk reaction.
No. 755816
>>755795Thanks anon, I appreciate the support. Woman really are lovely in many different ways and I wish it wasn't being undermined by this loud minority.
(Ignore my continued sperg, didn't want to make a new post)
:
I know we gripe on cows here all the time and say they look like troons and shit too and I hate it, because even if we're usually just being factious against them as cows, it perpetuates this false belief trannys would look anything like that.
I don't even fucking hate the quiet trannys who keep to themselves and are just doing what they can to "pass" as the opposite sex and don't expect everyone to cater to them. It's still mental illness, but if it's not like the mtf troon thread examples, what the hell do I care what they do with themselves? Same shit as furries or whatever, keep it to yourself and away from vulnerable demographics and I don't care. But it's a blatant fallacy that even with oodles of plastic surgery and hormones they'll be that much like a cis woman. It's still just a caricature of one. Medical science isn't that far along and it seems so fucking insulting to me and woman as a whole to pretend these uncanny valley cosplays could be one.
I even got in an argument with one of my closest friends because his friend's girlfriend is a tranny sympathizer and assistant to a plastic surgeon at a world renowned clinic. She claims they do bottom surgery that you couldn't tell apart from cis. I argued that's not possible for a thousand reasons and she's deluding herself if she truly believes that, but my friend believed her because "she's obviously a medical professional at an amazing clinic so knows what she's talking about". That is, until his other friend hooked up with a tranny who had, had bottom surgery and reported back the details. Now he believes me. It's just another long winded example of even people who MUST know better catering to these lies that lead back to the issues I'm having. It's ridiculous. Why lie? Why pretend? Is that the only way they can accept trannys, by deluding themselves? Why can't they exist without stretching the truth and overshadowing actual women?!
Sorry rant thread, I know I'm getting into "
terf thread" rage territory. I'm just so frustrated with this and want to, well, vent it out.
No. 755874
File: 1615068684088.jpg (72.91 KB, 750x750, 082014b5-3964-423f-b32a-d66bd0…)
I moved out right before COVID and I still had no chance to find IRL friends because of how fucked things are.
I can't even find a job and it's been a full year because I am an immigrant and the whole country started hating my nation now… I see so much shittalk about my nation everywhere on the news and social media. I can't even truly learn the language yet because everything around is closed, so I am doing my best to learn it alone.
On top of that right before I moved a lot of friends whom I thought were friends ended up doing nothing but using silly me: I would help them out with anything, spend all of my time and energy listening to them just for them to end up turning their back on me the second it became possible. And my closest duo were talking shit about me the whole time and laughing at my problems.
Finding friends on internet turned into nothing but a disaster because it'd mostly be thristy scrotes who would be interested in you only if you are single, or would still hit on you even if you are taken. Or just people who can't handle conversation well, or huge timezone differences.
To make things short, I am out there feeling miserable because of the dumbest thing: my partner's friend kicked me out of his server where he would stream his movies and I didn't notice until that happened, but friend thinks it's nbd because I am with my partner IRL and we are not too close, but here I am, feeling like a complete shit and just wanting to do nothing but cry and go to sleep. I feel so stupid for feeling so sensitive over such thing.
I thought today would be good, but it started like shit. Went to a huge store so I could finally get limited edition ice cream, just to see that it got sold out and there are won't be any until next year. I also had to take care of my partner's panic attack because there were a lot of people.
I sound super whiny, but I also appreciate my old friends who are still with me and I cherish them, but their irl lives are very busy now, so they barely spend any time on social media so I can't spend time with them.
I just feel so lonely.
No. 755892
File: 1615070604807.gif (640.29 KB, 500x295, hyouka-chitanda-gif-9.gif)
>>755778>>755750>>755769>>755756This means a lot anons, thank you. Such sweet words helps, especially since I feel sort of uncomfortable talking about it to my friends/social media. I'm a pretty private person so being able to come here and be comforted has been very nice.
Ordered ramen because I needed to go grocery shopping but don't want to do anything today. It still feels unreal a bit that she's gone but yeah. thank u again
No. 755898
File: 1615071432552.png (396.48 KB, 601x606, 1615071053348.png)
what the fuck is this. the anime girl on the box says "don't look at my giant girldick" btw
No. 755917
File: 1615073254285.jpeg (33.33 KB, 387x416, 1255796438.jpeg)
>>755790I'm a tomboy with masculine, chiseled facial features and used to get compliments for being stylish and attractive and people constantly were going on about how hot of a soft butch I make, now I'm side-eyed a ton because I haven't transitioned. Butches really went out of style and being a GNC woman is now considered a
terf dogwhistle
(I mean I am one but that's beside the point), unless you're a DDLG e-girl or an instathot you apparently don't deserve to be a woman and have to put at least they/them on your profile.
No. 755966
File: 1615079305276.jpg (19.65 KB, 598x554, 1585088174361.jpg)
Oral sex increases the risk of mouth cancer. PIV increases the risk of cervical cancer. The risk of getting cervical cancer is close to zero when you're a virgin. I'm attracted to men but I'm paranoid about getting cancer so I guess I will never touch one. It annoys me how most people seem to ignore how dangerous straight sex is to women, aside from all the behavioral fuckery of men, pregnancy risk etc. Shit's crazy
No. 755982
File: 1615080528835.gif (682.34 KB, 396x223, 1A4EFDAA-5AD7-4EBA-A367-A515A5…)
Got high with my best friend tonight and she propositioned me to make out despite us both having boyfriends. She wasn’t joking. I said no because that would obviously be cheating and very messy, but my pussy was tingling as she talked about it akdjdhsjslk. She agreed and everything was chill, but wtf anons help
No. 755988
>>755982Do it, your pussy deserves to be treated nice by your friend!
-not trolling-
No. 756006
File: 1615082816793.gif (2.58 MB, 498x285, madoo.gif)
>>755982Yes,it would be cheating. I'm glad you stopped yourself from doing that, anon! That being said all men are coomers and probably wouldn't view it as cheating, they'd just think it's hot because they don't view other women as a threat to take you away from them.
No. 756054
>>756046I will hug you
-hugs-
No. 756095
>>756037summarized perfectly. I just have such anxiety of her getting hurt that I know I wont sleep well tonight, even though I know she's fine. It's so weird and shitty.
>>756040I'm sorry for your loss. Pets are just too precious for this world, but the way they can touch our hearts is kinda shocking
No. 756101
>>755917Ugh, reminds me of a thread somewhere, I think it was /cgl/, where someone brought up that they like wearing oversize or bulky clothing, don't remember the context though, and someone was trying to tell her that it means that she is trans because she is trying to hide her body and she tried to explain that she just enjoys comfy clothing and that she is more than fine with her body and identity but the other person just wouldn't give up.
It's been years since I saw this conversation and it's still etched into my memory because it pissed me off so bad. Just like the other anon I don't mind trannies that stays in their lane, but this hysteria is damaging all the work feminism put in to remove gender roles just for them to come back ten times stronger - now if you don't act or look like your assigned gender that means you're trans whether you like it or not. I don't see this kind of pressure be put on men, it's just women getting the short end of the stick AGAIN
I'm so done with woke culture. I'm waiting for the next step to be woke about woke culture so the wokes gets called out by the ultra-wokes about how damaging they actually are and take each other out.
No. 756121
File: 1615107626021.png (744.85 KB, 692x736, 000.PNG)
I'm a fujo; I get annoyed by men in fujospaces. They're even worse then they're "men" (FtMs) and you can't do shit without sitting down and listening to them rattle off a list of nonsense rules for you to follow so you aren't fetishizing and objectifying homos or whatever.
I wish they'd realize we're all thinking of cute anime boys and not their fugly asses.
No. 756138
File: 1615110704337.jpg (65.65 KB, 868x867, 51daf1998baf98c772d652f4cadd13…)
Cheating of my ex has ruined me, I've found out he cheated pretty much every time when he went out with his friends for the evening without me present; I'm dating a different person for 3 years now, he's always been patient and 100% transparent so I have no reason to be worried but it still eats away at me. Today he met up with his colleagues to watch some sport event, I thought I'm ok with that but I've just woke up from a nightmare of him cheating on me so realistic I'm about to vomit from the stress of it. I hate not being able to live normally, I'm seeing a therapist but it's still far from dealt with.
No. 756144
>>756138I'm sorry anon, people who cheat deserve to die alone or at least be hit by a truck.
Hope therapy will help, sending you some good vibes
No. 756161
>>756121At first I was like "there are men in fujo spaces?" but then read the rest of your post to realize you were referring to the self-hating women attempting to larp as gay men and validate their self-declared identity by attacking other women.
>>756101I was almost tricked into trooning out by all of this "Are you SURE you're not trans?? you like masculine fashion!!" crap but peaked just in time. It's a cult and they're recruiting, so many of my female friends who were struggling with their sexuality to accept being gay were sidetracked by the "nonbinary to transman" pipeline.
No. 756215
>>756121**when they're, not then they're.
also sauce to the pic is best friends, no clue if anyone cares.
>>756161i think there are cis guys too. i don't grieve them for wanting to see gay relationships, power to them, it's just a minor annoyance to have them in circles where i anticipate 100% women (i'm like an unironic misandrist in private).
No. 756229
File: 1615134618631.png (754.85 KB, 960x540, sJYCWh.png)
What would you guys do if someone came over to your house to get their laundry but they put your clothes all over the floor? This person is a relative btw and you hate each other but they keep doing stupid subtle shit to piss you off even though youre not on talking terms. They threatened you (theyre a guy) to attack you if you keep messaging them in the past so you generally left them alone but this set it off. anyways, since we dont speak the same language and he left the house should I message this headass to tell him off about putting my clothes on the floor or just leave him alone? I really dont know if I should ignore this disrespectful scrote completely or stand up for myself even if that means possibly causing more drama
No. 756359
File: 1615145051424.png (238.4 KB, 447x299, it's okay shinji-kun.png)
Found an old photo album (my siblings and I got one each that, while also having a lot of family photos as well, mainly featured us) and reading the comments mom had written on the comments back when I was just a baby made me extremely emotional. Those excited comments on the photos making up narrative on what might be going on our heads or reciting quotes or situations of what was going on when the pictures were taken. All of them written with mom's old quirks and wits from before she had her breakdown from all the stress that came from being a single mother of 3 kids with different troubles of their own, pressure to make at least a little bit of a career, and on top of it getting raped twice.
She hasn't been the same mom since then. She is a lot better now but she was heavily unstable for more than 10 years and sadly took it out on me as the youngest one since my siblings had moved out. I hate the pressure that women have to be successful while still dealing with the home life and kids on her own, I hate it when idiots claim rape doesn't ruin families, I hate it. I love my mom as she is now and proud of how far she has come with her recovery, I still loved her during the abuse because I knew she was suffering, but I still miss who she used to be.
No. 756365
>>756161happened to my sister, she came out as lesbian in late highschool, went to a women's college…and while there followed her group of "queer" friends down the nb->ftm hole. She was only ever even vaguely gnc really, no more so than the average woman who like, sometimes wears a baseball cap. And much less of an "actual tomboy" than some of my friends. She was always coming home begging for stuff like polly pocket, littlest pet shop, etc in elementary school, stuff my parents found disturbingly pinkwashed/gendernormative but obliged in to be nice. We had that horrible barbie rapunzel movie on vhs and she basically tried to watch it literally every night until my parents said it got lost and hid it (for being terrible brain rot more than anything else). Nothing wrong with her interests obviously, but "I've always been a man inside" I think not.
the killer thing is that our mom is & has always been ironclad og 70s feminist straight butch (she wore a suit to her straight wedding, only "feminine" thing I've ever seen her wear is kooky halloween earrings & willie nelson braids when her hair is long, my dad complains the only thing he can get her as a gift is more plaid shirts). My sister has never been even close to as "gnc" as my mom is on a daily basis (also people usually assume my mom is a man on the phone and frequently irl due to her voice/manner). This has literally never bothered my mom in the slightest, if anything i feel like she likes to be the "least feminine" woman in any situation as an example to other women that they dont need to dress up/do shit for men. My mom has refused to call my sister he or by her new male name and whenever she tried to "come out" my mom would just be like "ok but…why cant a woman have those feelings/do those things as a woman?" and she had to start angrily silent treatmenting my mom as a "protest" to cope, because theres no answer to that question…
The reason my sister felt "socially alternative" was never being gnc, but rather that she was/is just kinda uncool, geeky, and judgmental, which is all fine (and true of myself as well) but I feel like people dont accept "geeky and weird girl" as an identity anymore, they go trans as a sort of "nuh-uh I'm not uncool, and me & my friends aren't geeks, we're actually Queer and so much cooler than all you normies." Its a much more convenient self-explanatuon for why you weren't friends with cool normal people than "I'm weird and my friends are the other weird people." Instead they get to call themselves "The LGBTQ Community". This often goes hand in hand with trying to recreate normie experiences they feel like they missed out on (for mtf troons the nasty sleepovers obviously, and for ftm it's like "we're crazy boys, we're gonna do vodka shots, play beer pong and rip dabs"). Hilarious when she used to be a judgmental teetotaler and rant about people in her HS/college classes drinking/smoking weed.
I've personally seen a ton of geek/nerdy spaces get taken over by troons, and since they need to aggressively extract asspats from everyone in any space they enter, everyone who doesnt want to deal with constant discordtroon nastytalk on a daily basis gradually stops coming. And then geeky/nerdy spaces are just filled with nasty troons to any outside observer, so no one else wants to call themselves geeky/nerdy because people will think you're a troon, and also the troons will see it as a bat signal to come seek asspats.
This of course pales in importance compared to troonsanity making the rest of the LGB community look like crazy people by association. This Super stuff is a godsend, might remake my tinder now that I can accurately describe myself as superbi. Didn't even used to be but went on 3 dates with trans people, one mtf was classic deranged agp, both ftms were classic boring aydens. Not gonna waste my time again. They're literally all the same type of person.
No. 756423
File: 1615149703486.png (243.07 KB, 540x436, you_think_I_look_like_I_got_mo…)
Almost got my phone pickpocketed today, I was looking at books outide a shop and I could hear my music. But suddently I feel that a guy is way to close, I had to take the phone out of his hands. I'm way more angry at myself that I'm at the guy. I feel so dumb right now, I would have been in so much shit if he took it.
No. 756439
File: 1615150473215.jpeg (42.39 KB, 640x632, CDE45F51-269A-44EE-BC2E-8393C6…)
Me watching other people’s art get more attention than my awful unfinished shit, this is so childish to be mad about but who would even like my art anyways, it doesn’t even catch anyone’s attention at all. why am I so bad and awful and why do people manage to get more love and attention I literally do the same thing they do, can’t people just appreciate my caveman doodles? fuck this gay earth
No. 756459
>>756450>>756438i relate, anons. i feel like such a worse version of myself when i spend too much time on social media and when i take breaks i feel much better. it's kinda hard in the sense that i want to stay connected to certain people, but at the same time i easily get sucked in with certain habits or mindsets. it happens to me too when i browse nd post on lolcow too often (like rn, mods are probably a post away from banning me for my own good), i become… darker? i guess? too prone to saying explosionary, mean-spirited shit bc i know this is the only place i can say some of the things i'm
really thinking.
i probably just need another long, big break from the few sm i still use and need to focus on myself and the things i like to do outside the internet, or i need to start using social media more positively (talking about the things i like an find comfort in, rather than ranting or hatewatching).
>>756365anon, your mother sounds cool as hell and i wanna be her. also i love the barbie rapunzel movie what's wrong with it (if i could put a sad face emoji here i would)
No. 756461
File: 1615151772970.png (194.6 KB, 400x348, f4e.png)
I'm so jealous of my friends and acquaintances who are able to get their college/car/apartment/etc funded by their parents, the fact that my mom is moving away this year for her boyfie and my dad doesn't want to take me in and having to start everything by myself scares the shit out of me. Driving anxiety is a bitch and I'm trying to get my first job.. when I was younger I applied for a ton but never got accepted so I hope I'm not much as a failure like I was when I was like 16. It's disgusting though how my friends and even some scrotes I talk to are like, "durrr just do onlyfans it's easy money it'll be so fun duhhh," it makes me so fucking angry. Oh yeah! Let me just ruin my entire life for 84 cents a month, that would be AMAZING!! I think I would literally rather die on the streets than objectify myself for nothing all because I'm old enough to do porn and it's normalized. Eugh.
One of my friends is going through a very similar situation at the moment so it's good not to be alone, hopefully we can find some place together. Some of my friends are planning on staying with their parents for a longer time and maybe I can convince them to let me rent a room or something? I don't know, I'm just so stressed right now. also the fact that one of my friends worst problems right now is finding a relationship and getting a weed card.. god i wish that was me.
No. 756576
File: 1615160055721.jpeg (43.42 KB, 574x430, 1573641983930.jpeg)
I'm pretty sure a friend of mine hasn't introduced me to his friend group because I'm borderline socially retarded.
Tragic to realize. I met one for five minutes and it must have gone over horribly because it hasn't happened since. He even made an effort to avoid letting me interact with one of them that we ran into when we were hanging out last fall.
Way back last summer he said "it isn't u it's them because they r wild and it is embarrassing to me" but I'm sure it's the other way around. Fuck this existence.
It isn't even that I want friends (currently ghosting 4 people for no reason so I'm not without options, just avoidant), but my ego is wounded. I don't even fucking talk to him much anymore…but he should have offered.
I may also be assblasted partially because two of his friends are qt and I know one of those women is gay. It's mostly the ego…but definitely this, too.
No. 756624
>>756614Thank you anon. I only made a few shallow cuts and it feels like the only thing to bring me down from being so high strung. Unfortunately my mom can't convince him to do anything, because he'll just scream the same things at her. I don't think she really understands the gravity of the situation either, since she only hears his side of the story and I'm trying my best to be critical of both sides.
I can't contact the lawyer myself because he will inevitably find out and then he'll scream at me for going behind his back and ~*~*foiling his plans*~*~. I texted my aunt (his older sister) because I feel like she's the only person I can talk to about this and who will not back down from telling him he's being stupid. My uncle used to also be on the board years ago. I also feel bad that I was going over to my aunt's apartment when she would tell me to come over for food while knowing I had bedbugs (I did my best to shake them off any potential clothes before going over) but when I went over to pick something up, we just chatted at the door, both knowing I could potentially spread bedbugs to her. I don't think she's gotten any from me thankfully.
I feel so trapped. I don't think my dad is a bad person, but his positive and negative qualities really sit at the far end of each spectrum. I think he has
valid complaints about the board going after our family and our family specifically (we are not the only ones in the building with this issue but we are the only ones having the lawyer sicced on us) but maybe I'm just a pushover bitch but I would much rather just comply. I spoke with many exterminators, found one I really like and trust, and even have my own complaints with how the board and their exterminator handled things, but I don't think ignoring a lawyer's letter will do any of us good.
No. 756672
>>756596I'm sorry I don't know where else to vent anymore. I feel like a burden even after talking to my best friend and my aunt. Hearing from my aunt that my cousin, the one I grew up with and the closest person to a sister that I will ever have, hates my dad (for
valid reasons) and doesn't want my aunt ever inviting him over for it. It makes me wonder if she hates me, by extension. I feel so hopeless. My aunt feels like she can't even speak to him because she can't get through to him either. What else can I do when the eldest, the most respected one in his family can't get through to him?
It's been years since I've felt like this. I'm sitting underneath my loft bed, there's an area I'm small enough to crawl into. I want to take a tie and tie it to the wood above and hang myself. I feel like there's no way out, I feel like the odds are stacked against me. I feel like as much as I try to live a life worth living, as much as I try to love myself and live unapologetically, I feel like I'm unworthy in the end. If I'm not being fucked over for being young and stupid and messing with men, I'm fucked over like this. I'm fucked over with the prospect of my family having to go to court and being saddled with even more debt, whether we win or lose.
My aunt says to get the exterminator in, to jump start the process of getting the paperwork in order, but at the same time I fear my dad finding out and screaming at me. I hate it when he gets mad about something and then I just have to live with the silent treatment for months on end. I feel like it just fuels my self hatred and all intrusive thoughts that I worked for years to get over and silence. I don't know what to do anymore. Even thinking about hanging myself, all I can think about is "How are my parents supposed to cover the funeral fees? Do I have enough in my accounts to cover my own funeral?"
I don't want to die anons, but I feel so hopeless. I don't know why I try anymore. I love my parents so, so much, but I hate that they don't seem to love me enough to listen to me.
No. 756677
File: 1615168553890.jpg (118.69 KB, 638x1024, lourdesleon.jpg)
>>756640So is Madonna's daughter and she is still super hot. I hope you can focus on the features you love the most anon
No. 756683
>>756677Her septum piercing looks like a huge booger.
I fucking love the cami though. It's the perfect low-key sexy/causal look for a hot summer day.
No. 756695
>>756690that's what the vent thread is about, you're okay for posting. I'm glad you're feeling better and good on you for using resources for help.
I'm sorry you're going through all that, I can't imagine how difficult it is. Please keep yourself as safe as possible and while I have to tell this to myself a lot too, just keep going, no matter what difficulties you're facing. Do things every day you like to do or are good for you. I'm on the sleep meds so idk if this is legible but I just really feel for you anon. goodnight!
No. 756706
File: 1615173729178.jpeg (83.23 KB, 750x913, 67814E58-DE22-4DA0-9BD8-CF9122…)
>be me
>come home from nice short outing with female family
>lays on bed feeling relaxed
>being a retard goes on social media
>sees pretty people
>my decaying 18 y.o old face looking 40 years older due to stress and depression
>female
>2021
>being a female in 2021
I should be killed lol
No. 756736
File: 1615178216256.jpeg (57.47 KB, 749x714, 1614634239570.jpeg)
Afraid I'm bordering on abusive with my boyfriend. Is this PTSD from my abusive ex? Possibly. Do I need to let out my physical aggression in some other way… absolutely. I'm just afraid that if I do kickboxing or something I might actually feel more inclined to kick his head off or something lol.
I don't punch or do anything with him. I just pinched his cheek earlier, in partial jokey way, but then I kept doing it harder as I got mad at him. And he said "Ow that actually hurt!" and I said "Yeah I actually meant it". What's wrong with me… I need to calm down.
No. 756750
File: 1615180380637.jpg (23.37 KB, 564x564, 000.jpg)
My fucking head hurts from crying. I've been chugging water trying to deal with it, but It's not helping at all. I'm so tired of myself.
No. 756822
File: 1615191907108.jpg (20.76 KB, 462x430, XIOwCCG.jpg)
This is very stupid feeling, but I kinda have to write it down somewhere and this site is the only place I feel comfortable sharing my stupidity.
I'm so tired of trying to be part of a community.
There was a point of my life where I wanted to be someone known in a community. I do art, so I wanted to be a cartoonist, create an animation on Adult Swim or something, share all my stories with people and create a lot of original things. Maybe opening a few social media accounts and interacting with people, making friends and other things. But as time went on, I began to hate the animation industry, I hate how they treat their workers, I hate how many succesful people had come out as awful and I hate how much they try to appeal to people who just won't appreciate anything.
So, I decided to become a comic artist and self-publish my things, maybe going to Youtube and be part of that community, and just talking about different things I'd like to share, I even decided to spend more time with English speakers to make my ESL-ness not so evident in the future; but then I began to hate that too. I'm so tired of dramas, I'm so tired about Muh Art Style theft, and I'm so tired about the Holier than you act that many people in the animation/art community have shown. I even tried to avoid the Art salt thread for a while for this, but they never stopped.
My last effort ended when I actually managed to make a small group of friends, but it all ended when one of the few people I gave enough trust to become my friend regressed into a Twitter kid and began to avoid me, and so did the others. I knew that despite my efforts to be with them, they still trash-talked me. Only one person stayed with me, he got trash-talked worse than me, and he suffered a lot too, so I guess I stopped caring about everything. He was the only person who still cared about me despite how badly eveyone was treating him and that was my breaking point, and I just stopped interacting with any other non-niche community altogether, I stayed with him when he needed it, and to this day, he matters to me a lot.
Today, I think I'm done with trying to be part of something. I now pretend to make my comic on my native language and don't have much of a presence. My friend still gives me hope about becoming a cartoonist or an animator, but I just don't feel any sort of excitement about sharing my personal passion proyects just to be cancelled by a bunch of kids on Twitter.
It may sound like a humblebragging, but I didn't even wanted fame or money, I just wanted friends and sharing with people, I used to make scenarios on my head about meeting the people I used to look up to, but I just don't feel any sort of excitement anymore.
I'm sorry if this is stupid, but seeing anons using completely seriously as an insult "FrEaKs" in the art salt thread made me think a lot. I still love this site, so that's why I feel somewhat okay with posting my apathy ramblings, but I just feel somewhat empty, that's all.
No. 756828
>>756822Oh girl. I understand you, let me try to give you some advice.
If you're doing things to be a part of a community, you already failed.
Do things because you want to have fun with them.
> I'm so tired of dramas, I'm so tired about Muh Art Style theft, and I'm so tired about the Holier than you act that many people in the animation/art community have shown. I even tried to avoid the Art salt thread for a while for this, but they never stopped.I understand this. You should avoid these things while maintaining a profile online. It's easy, but you have to know how. Keep things pro and away from these people.
>I knew that despite my efforts to be with them, they still trash-talked me. Only one person stayed with me, he got trash-talked worse than me, and he suffered a lot tooBzzz, first error: don't make artist friends, make connections. Professional connections. There's a difference. Stop sharing your life with these retards.
>I now pretend to make my comic on my native languageYou don't have to, translating it to english is the best idea. English is more convenient.
>I just don't feel any sort of excitement about sharing my personal passion proyects just to be cancelled by a bunch of kids on Twitter.Then don't share it among those twitter retards. Maintain a high profile. You don't have to stop making your passion projects if they make you happy.
>My friend still gives me hope about becoming a cartoonist or an animatorAnd you still 100% can
>but seeing anons using completely seriously as an insult "FrEaKs" in the art salt thread made me think a lot.Ah, so you're a freaky artist that feels paranoid of lolcow too? welcome to the club.
No. 756832
>>756828God bless your heart of gold, anon-chan. I actually was pretty scared of posting this.
Thank you a lot for the advice! ♥
No. 756834
File: 1615193918453.jpeg (319.61 KB, 1242x1242, D41716ED-93A4-4E45-B0AF-DC9212…)
>>756822I’m sorry, anon, I hope you get to find some good friends.
Artist friends are even more rare nowadays than regular friends because there’s always jealousy, specially online with so many retards that are not getting bullied enough at school to get some fucking self-awareness.
Don’t mind those low-lives, you deserve to enjoy receiving feedback and being able to publish your art.
No. 756856
File: 1615197326181.gif (504.55 KB, 400x200, my mental state is declining.g…)
just got my covid test. turns out it was positive. what a devastating feeling when you've tried your best to stay home and avoid any social meetings, then you get the virus as the virus cases are rising up. i think it might be uk variant cuz it's spreading like hellfire where i live.
at the moment i feel fine(runny nose and sneezing)and praying that my mental health wouldn't be collapsing from all this anxiety and fear of ending up in hospital if symptoms get worse. but gotta stay positive.
No. 756873
File: 1615199737359.jpg (27.91 KB, 500x276, i expect nothing.jpg)
I think I'm too retarded to code in any language.
Like I'm trying to make a simple browser dice game and keep failing or wasting hours on basic shit that should take a minute. Maybe I'm just not practicing enough idk.
I just want a job that won't make me want to kill myself, that's kind of interesting and that I can live off of without having to be scarsd of missing a bill. Fuuuuuck
No. 757018
My bf wound up agreeing with me but I'm glad I stood my ground on an issue.
We were talking in the car. We tend to have many talks about the values we'd want to teach our theoretical children. The topic came up about if we had a daughter and how we'd react if she was a sexually active teen.
Well I, for one, wouldn't condone it but I'm also not naive. I'd rather model what a healthy relationship is, and hope there are no deficits in how much love she feels, so that she isn't intentionally trying to chase down love from horny male teens in the form of sexual favors. However, I told him, we shouldn't shame or guilt her like our parents did and make sure she feels like she has parents to come to for support and guidance. Repressing teens is how we get teen moms and stds.
Anyway bf was taken aback. For someone reason he wanted to discourage her from sex until 18 (lmao because this is a magic number, after all). And furthermore he was somewhat shook when I told him I had sex with my high school boyfriends. I told him I would have avoided a lot of trouble back then if my (divorced and constantly feuding) parents could have been assed to model healthy relationship behaviors, not be hypocrites, allow me to talk to them without religious stigma, have educated me about reproductive choices, and have just loved me so I wouldn't seek it out from boys in vain.
Bf agreed with me after I spelled it out. I asked him if he had sex before 18 and he said no, which I actually believe, although he wanted to. We both grew up in strict Catholic homes and we are non-religious adults. He's big into wanting "evidence" to believe things, so I'm really proud that I drove those points home. I really wish people would stop purity shaming girls.
No. 757039
File: 1615226948190.jpeg (27.81 KB, 700x332, images (7).jpeg)
More often than not my boyfriend only speak to me when I'm the one starting the conversation. I've confronted him about it but he just gets mad at the "accusations". It's tiring sometimes
No. 757047
>>757039duuuump him
he should willingly start the conversations, otherwise he just wants your pussy.
No. 757057
>>757052Well anon, tell me, what do you like?
What are your hobbies?
What are you good at?
What values do you prioritize?
I can help you out I guess
No. 757117
>>757097IDFK, He came to me pretending he was a woman with gender dysphoria that wanted to transition to male, telling me ''she had a long time battle with gender issues and still had gender dysphoria but wanted to celebrate what others told her were her masculine features''
The terfy act was really on point considering this story, those women who were pushed into transition because of masculine features are the ones who peak instantly. But while I'm still into radfem this dude seemed overly fixated in it. I can't make sense out of this at all, must be severe mental illness on top of any fetish he has. I blocked him out of all my social media the moment I learned about this.
No. 757142
>>756967ups are a bag of dicks. They would misdeliver or fail to deliver about 1 in 4 packages to my building. Small packages, single articles of clothing. The last straw was having to spend multiple hours on the phone on several consecutive days to get them to admit they'd misdelivered a package - they kept saying the driver was getting the package back, but eventually admitted that that hadnt happened due to "driver noncompliance", ie their guy wouldnt do his fucking job and I had to waste hours on the phone to get them to admit it before they'd pay out insurance. Had to get a PO box just so the local UPS goons would deliver shit to one place reliably. They have a contractor system of some kind where the individual truck drivers own their trucks & routes in some way (not sure exactly) so if your local UPS guy/subcontractor is just shitty, you're kinda stuck with him unless he causes enough losses for ups that they do something (not likely). In your case his laziness didn't even lose them money so unless you write a complaint or some shit, he's off scot-free. You might have been able to harangue your local ups branch into redelivering it while you were waiting, but no guarantee they'd have actually done it…Ridiculous that they act like "delivery" includes "maybe you come pick it up if we dont feel like doing it" like that's at all reasonable.
Aside, but I saw some thing a while ago about how because the brown UPS socks they make contractors buy are so shitty and wear out so fast, a lot of contractors cut the logo cuffs off the socks and wear them like ankle bracelets over other better socks. I cant stop thinking about this every time I see a ups man now.
No. 757166
Dear new guy in the flatshare,
Why do you think you're the exception? You see that everybody washes their dishes, so why do you see fit to just leave yours for DAYS? There's even a fucking dishwasher there, ready for you to put your unwashed dishes in instead of clogging up the sink and countertops.
And why use my towel? Huh? I've kept my towel in the bathroom for months. When someone new came in, their towel was in the bathroom on the same day. I didn't see your towel, however I did see that someone had heinously wiped their mouth on MY TOWEL the day you moved in. My towel that I thought was safe. My towel that I really wouldnt have minded maybe drying your hands on if you were caught short without one because you just moved. But WIPING YOUR MOUTH? YOU FUCKING REPROBATE. I now need to keep it in my room like some kind of fugitive.
And it's always a particular type of male that has the habit of pissing directly in the centre of the toilet to make that cacophonous pissing sound that reverbrates through the flat. You can aim, why do that? Do you have a need to let everyone know that you're pissing or do you just not care that nobody wants to hear you piss?
Christ, appearances really are decieving (which tbh is my bad). When the tradesman moved in first, I recoiled at what I first saw, the dirt caked boots, and figured he'd be a mess. Nope. He gets up at 5am and is so quiet to not wake anyone else. Stays clean and cleans after himself, just super considerate all around. But YOU, mr fancy fucking phd with a job with normal hours. You don't care at all huh? Just smashing your way around the kitchen early, chatting til all hours. Fuck you.
No. 757168
I’m in an abusive relationship. I told no one about it and when I say no one, it’s no one (not even my parents or my best friend who’s basically like a sister to me).
He calls me retard weekly when he gets mad at me, tells me all the horrible things about me and why I’m always alone, remarking that he doesn’t want to be with me because he basically hates me. He’s so used to scream at me I’m not even surprised at this point but I still cry every time (of course he uses this against me, as expected).
He asked me the same question over and over again those last three days, telling me that I could answer him honestly and he wouldn’t get mad. I told him the same thing over and over again but he doesn’t believe me. The moment I changed slightly my answer he went crazy as per usual, telling me again that he thinks I’m fake and a liar, that he doesn’t ever want to be with me.
It’s pretty ironic because I’m always giving advice to people about their relationship and people always tells me how lucky I am to have a healthy relationship like the one I have, with someone who makes my life so easy and is very supportive.
I always start to tremble when people tell me these things because I know deep inside if he ever leaves me, I would tell them it was mutual, of course I wouldn’t tell about these horrible things.
He even once left me for 20 minutes in a foreign country without telling me anything just because I didn’t took a photo like he wanted. The same day, he went full on silent when I got upset until I stopped being sad about it.
Once we were both at a party drinking (not too much) and he decided it was time to go home, so I had to leave my friends and of course follow him. He then got upset because he thought I was ruining the night by going home and started to scream at me in the street. Part of me wanted people to notice, wanted someone to tell him something, but nobody did anything, no one noticed.
No. 757183
>>757168Since you've acknowledged it, is there any plan of action to leave or?
It's easy to advise leaving, especially when you're not in the thick of it.
No. 757200
>>757170>>757183I just don't know how to start. People never saw us arguing, I never told anyone about a single problem. We have been together for more than six years now, no one suspects about what’s happening.
I just feel so ashamed and embarrassed, I wish I talked when it was happening at first. Now I don’t know how to look people in the eyes and tell them I endured insults and humiliations for half a decade. I know they’ll feel hurt and betrayed because they will probably think I didn’t trust them enough to confine my secrets. And the worst is that I did it to protect him, because I didn’t want them to think bad about him. It’s surreal.
No. 757203
File: 1615240351247.jpeg (383.33 KB, 1388x2082, 0FF9ACE3-91D4-4AC9-9240-6A31D4…)
I am literally so alone, living in a strange new city in a house where nobody speaks the same language as me. I don’t know what I’m doing and I feel like I’m going to die. I didn’t know that it would be this hard and uncertain.
No. 757204
>>757200I know it seems scary and embarrassing, but you really should tell someone anon. It's never ever too late, but I'm sure your bff won't judge you for confiding in her about something like this. Honestly, I can't tell you exactly how to approach telling someone about that. Maybe, "we've been having issues for a while now" would be a good start?
>they will probably think I didn’t trust them enough to confine my secretsAt the end of the day, you have to put your safety over how other people may feel. Trust me, they can deal with whatever "betrayal" they may feel. How they feel about him especially does not matter. He deserves whatever judgement and hate he gets. Wishing you luck and sending virtual hugs ♥
No. 757205
>>757200If youre nervous start slowly with the milder stuff. I get not wanting to paint your partner in a bad light, but if your intention is to leave him, that shouldn't matter so much. Just maybe start a dialogue when you're upset about something regarding him, and ask for your friends advice on wether you're justified or not.
And it absolutely sucks that people have the strongest tendency to isolate when things are actually the worst. All I can say is I'm sure they won't have hard feelings against you. Almost everyone hides the bad parts of their relationship to others, but when taken to extremes that can be really dangerous.
No. 757208
File: 1615240698783.gif (494.99 KB, 500x280, U4yw.gif)
my mom always found ways to twist my interests into something horrible whenever i told her about them (e.g. anime was pedophilia, a webcomic i loved was satanic, and i was fucking stupid [her words] for caring about people hating me in middle school, so you can imagine i stopped telling her about what was happening in my life pretty early on lol), most of our communication was one-sided and artificial (even now, it's always her venting about the most mundane internal bullshit to me because whenever i seriously open up i need to "get over it" or it's "always my fault" – so all i ever talk to her about are politics and junk) and…idk it's funny that she wants to act like she's a beacon of comfort for me, in my twenties, because i kind of can't stand her kek.
like i love her, but she is supremely irritating, stressful to deal with and is the source of most (if not all) of my childhood trauma. hate whenever she comes to visit because she's so desperate to do typical mother-daughter crap like do my hair and nails…? it's absolutely bizarre.
i want to make enough money to leave the state and just never fucking see her again. sorry mom i get that being a single parent is tough and all but you have an ugly personality. and i'm not one of the braindead moids that's been circling you for my entire life (and i'm your child besides lol) so you can't seduce me into pretending i care
No. 757221
>>757205>ask for your friends advice on wether you're justified or not. I know you're trying to be helpful anon, but OP does not need anyone else to "justify" her feelings at this point. The dude is
abusive, no question about it. Better path is to simply explain that the relationship is unhealthy and she needs support in leaving, whether that's emotionally or having a temporary place to stay. Most important thing is getting away from the guy and disengaging so the trauma bonds can start to weaken.
No. 757247
File: 1615244169592.jpg (24.29 KB, 400x400, sadcat.jpg)
Sometimes, I really wish misandry was as bad as misogyny. Then, maybe some truly fucked up men would get a taste of retribution. There are so many rapists, abusers and other scum who need to be removed from the earth.
No. 757274
File: 1615247515978.jpeg (67.87 KB, 722x349, 1519065026327.jpeg)
If I see one more troon on the international women's day tag saying something akin to "suck my dick" I swear to god, I'm going to commit a hate crime. So fucking sick of men ruining everything for women in any possible way they can. When will it end?
No. 757314
File: 1615251918851.jpg (215.34 KB, 750x733, original.jpg)
I cannot explain the embarrassment I felt when I realized my whole right titty was out while getting an ultrasound today
No. 757329
File: 1615252994953.png (630.06 KB, 649x657, codes.png)
>>757323at least you're free now
No. 757422
File: 1615266229235.jpeg (28.75 KB, 595x397, djjsFSGvhfHghedbF.jpeg)
nonnies i don't know how to help my friend in an abusive household and it makes me really upset. she's 18 so she's legally allowed to leave but doesn't have any money or place to go due to her abusive family, i always tell her she is welcome to my apartment but she has an underage sister who lives in that household and she tells me she can't leave her yet because of the abuse/her sister can't leave their household except for school. it pains me because she lives 35ish miles away and i can't travel that far all the time (i also don't trust myself to drive that long all the time because my job tires me out) but i'm hoping that i can be able to teach her how to drive and help her get a job. i don't know how i'm going to help get her a job in the first place because she isn't allowed to leave much so she has no way of paying for her own things, like a full circle of bad things, but i'll try to figure out a way. i just want her to focus on her studies and be happy.
it's so easy to tell her just to leave especially because she's literally allowed to at any time but there are so many variables. at some point in time i might just call the police if it gets worse but that might put her sibling in a ton of danger because i personally know first hand how law enforcement/social services can make family life worse in these situations, at least for me when i was younger. i just want to cry, this is my best friend and i care so much for her. i know it's not my responsibility but she breaks down and begs the world in front of me because of all the stress. seeing someone you've known since you were a teenager go through this.. i just don't know. it's fucked.
No. 757476
>>757200It sounds like the type that'll will end up strangling you anon. And tell you it's your own fault.
He knows what he is doing. He knows how to control himself enough in front of others for all these years because he knows it would look bad.
Get the fuck out
nonnie please, he's only going to escalate until you leave or he kills you.
You've been abused for too long anon. What your friends will think doesn't matter. At this point, either they don't care enough even though they're seeing something or he's a sociopath.
You being happy and alive does matter.
No. 757477
File: 1615279658175.png (449.52 KB, 654x594, 55881739_731662403902105_69843…)
anytime my bf comforts me i feel like he's following a script. is it because he has a psych degree? bad soft skills? i don't know. imagine these phrases, said very flatly:
>"it is ok"
>"yes, let it out"
>"it must be very hard for you"
i know it's not his style but when something upsetting happens (i don't get upset often so it's usually a huge deal to me) i just want to be LOVEBOMBED like i do for him. like cradling and petting and warmth and "come here baby let me love on you im so sorry." yes people express their love/concern differently but damn give me something. it makes me feel so alone and like i'm bothering him when i already feel like shit. like right now lmao
No. 757536
>>757319You're not a special snowflake for suffering a completely understandable trauma response, but you do need to advocate for yourself.
Maybe you don't feel confident telling men to leave you alone but one day you will have to learn, for now work on being able to tell women who care about you that you aren't comfortable around random men and that you were looking forward to a day of just talking to her. It's not selfish or snowflakey to tell people your expectations and what you don't like, nobody who cares about you would want you to lie about that stuff.
No. 757580
File: 1615299197412.png (111.56 KB, 608x565, kld.png)
It's almost been a year since my ex dumped me, and seeing facebook memories of how I started spiraling mentally because of how selfish and egotistical he got after the honeymoon phase was over really makes me upset, he made me feel like something was wrong with me for wanting straight communication and always turned issues around to be my fault which made me feel like something was wrong with me. It really hits me hard remembering all those nights where I cried until I had a headache and even started self-harming again. Like it genuinely hurts and I woke up with anxiety a couple of nights ago after I had a really realistic dream where his narcissism was cranked up to unreal levels.
He wasn't abusive or straight up mean, just very selfish and used to getting his way. I don't miss him, hell I haven't even thought about him for months, rather I'm really angry. I was the anon that a couple of weeks ago that had a little bit of a breakdown and felt vulnerable after having to deal with one creep to many when I usually shrug them off, and now when I've had my ex on my mind the question of if I could have had confined in him if this had happened while we were still together crossed my mind… and sadly my answer to myself was a "kinda", he would hug me if I talked about while were hanging out but never bring it up again, he most likely wouldn't check up on how I was doing. Hell, he just gave me an half-assed reply when I texted him and told him I saw someone jump down the train tracks (luckily the guy was pulled up right before he entered the tunnel and just seconds before the train came, and yes I enclosed those details to him as well in the text) and was pretty shaky with my head filled with "what if"s. Even people that I barely know nor talked to for years checked up on me for days afterwards when I wrote about it on FB some time later. Not him.
I shouldn't let him affect me like this, but I'm just so incredibly mad. I don't want to hate anyone, but I feel like I hate him. Fuck scrotes.
No. 757590
>>757275You adore him to pieces but he's constantly trying to one-up you, kek. You probably have it more together than he does, and it makes him feel inferior and want to compete over who has it worse (scrotes are the logical sex, my foot). Your bf is a little bitch boy, hopefully he gets over it soon or he won't keep you for long.
>>757477You shouldn't have to communicate for him to comfort you. It's such a basic thing, it's as ridiculous as telling your partner to respect and care about you. He doesn't give a shit anon, if he wanted to comfort you he would.
No. 757676
>>757477I get this completely anon, I don't know if it's your bf's psych degree because mine is similar. maybe it's that whole "men don't form emotional relationships are often as women" idea - men hardly express themselves as it is, so they don't get many opportunities to learn how to comfort others/how they want to be comforted. not to make excuses for them, because it's still shitty.
I had to straight up tell me bf "when I'm upset, I want to be comforted - you don't have to give me advice, I just want to be reassured that I'm okay, that I'm not crazy for feeling like this, that I'm loved". because before he would just say "talk to me, tell me why you're upset" and then would just sit in silence lmao
No. 757684
File: 1615312616885.jpeg (133.47 KB, 720x720, 1578789404405.jpeg)
My mom made me crossdress
She is extremely unwell, it's not her fault, she was abused horrifically growing up and she won't get help because she's sure that she'll be locked away forever in an oldtimey insane asylum.
No matter how hard I try to help her, she just doesn't want it.
But now I'm fucked up too.
She told me every single day, "People want to murder you. Do you understand what that means?"
And then I had to explain that it meant I would be tortured and raped and dead forever and leave her all alone.
She moved us away from my family and to the middle of nowhere in a tiny, surprisingly un-condemned house
With her new husband.
He is a very angry, violent man.
My mom spent the first seven years of my life telling me I could never let anyone near me, especially men, because they were going to hurt me.
And then she watched him do exactly that every single day starting the day we moved in.
And I tried to ask her why was she letting him do it?She told me my whole life this was going to happen and how terrified she was of it, so why was she letting it happen now?
And that's when she started telling me about her childhood abuse, and that if I think this is abuse, I'm fucking stupid and selfish and greedy.
And so that became an every day thing too, everyone wants to kill you, me and your stepdad are the only people who could ever love you, and I was beaten almost to death every single day for five years.
She made me wear boys clothes from walmart and buzzed my hair off and started pronouncing my name wrong, I don't want to dox myself, but my name has two different pronunciations, one is feminine, one is masculine, she started pronouncing it masculine
When I told her I had been being molested at school she panicked and said, "No no, don't say that. Don't say that. No you didn't, you're okay."
That was first grade, before we moved, so it was technically over, but I was still having nightmares.
The teacher in that class was very strange and hated crybabies, which I was. The school was on military post in Missouri. Corporal punishment was allowed.
There was this enormously tall retarded boy in my class, in first grade, he said he was twelve. His mom gave permission for the teachers to spank him, but my mom didn't. She was outwardly very scared of people hurting me.
This teacher hated me for crying so much. And she would punish the retarded boy for what I did wrong.
She would tell me I had been talking when I hadn't, she would tell me I had been jumping up and disrupting class and all kinds of things, when I was trying so hard to become a statue in her class because I was so afraid, I was always quiet and as still as humanly possible, until she made me cry.
And then she would take the retarded boy into the coat closet, and leave the door open, and beat him with a wooden spoon all up and down his legs and back, and he would be wailing, and she would make eye contact with a few different kids in the class while she did it.
And then she would either tell me or the other crybaby, who I won't dox but i remember his name too, she would come up behind one of us and hiss, "That should have been you. It's your fault, he got spanked for you."
And I would try not to cry when she said it so she wouldn't beat him more, and I hated myself so much.
And then another boy in class started molesting me.
He did it in kindergarten too, and obviously as an adult I understand that this child was clearly being molested at home and he's the actual victim here.
But I would be lying if I said it didn't effect me, even now.
He would tell me that his dad would send people through my window at night to kill me if I ever told, and I was already very scared that everyone wanted to kill me, so I believed it. I was also six, to be fair to me.
I tried everything I could to stay away form him, but there was no way.
When we had to line up to go to recess or lunch or gym or whatever, I would try so hard to be the last person in line so the teacher's aid would be behind me and the boy couldn't.
But the teacher started making us line up by desk clump, and he was always in my desk clump.
And I would try to get behind him over and over again, but he always just got back behind me and we would circle each other.
And the teacher would scream at me "JUST LET HIM"
And then I noticed, she was watching.
She would watch him stick his hand into my underwear and insert his fingers into my anus.
And she watched.
She would have us stand in line for so much longer than we needed to.
She was watching him do it and told me to let him do it.
And I was scared of her and scared of him and so I let it happen for a long time.
I eventually started bed wetting and shitting my pants at home.
My mom didn't think anything of it, she kind of seemed to like it, she has always loved anything that infantalize me
But eventually I just refused to go back to school, I just puked and screamed until she gave up trying to send me.
Then I was was homeschooled until we moved in with my stepdad.
And then when I told her it had happened, she told me it didn't.
Many years later, she wanted me to start birth control early, because she was so afraid of me getting raped, she took me in to get an IUD when I was 15
And when I tried to tell her I was raped by my gynecologist, she told me it didn't happen.
It did. It did fucking happen.
She was allowing me to wear girls clothes and grow my hair out then though, and I didn't want her to take that away again, so I let it go.
I let everything go, and I can barely sleep, and when I do sleep, it's only in daylight with all the lights in the apartment on, and I have endless fucking nightmares.
I know it's not her fault, she was sure to tell me nothing could ever be her fault, she suffered too much to be responsible for anything.
So now I'm fucked up and it's all my fault and I don't want to fucking live like this anymore.
I avoided therapy for such a long time becasue my mom always made sure to watch Dr. Phil with me and laugh meanly at everyone who said they were traumatized by there parents for any reason, so that I would never believe I had been abused.
And she told me she never got therapy for the heinous evil that happened to her, so how could I possibly ever think I needed therapy when nothing even happened to me to begin with.
Well, now I'm trying, and my doctor has given me referrals to all four psychiatric health facilities my insurance will cover, and they're all so booked up from covid, they aren't even putting names in the rolodex at this point. Each one says to just keep calling back every day at a different time, and eventually someone will have called to cancel right before I call to ask, and then I can get in.
I think I would rather just be fucking dead.
I don't want to fucking live, it is worthless.
I can't bond with anyone and I am so fucking lonely my brain hurts.
I can't sleep and I can't work because I'm so fucking scared that my coworkers will kill me or I'll kill them.
I know it wasn't true and realistically as an adult now, I understand that it was all insane bullshit and I should just be the fuck over all of it.
I don't know, I guess some shit just fucking stays with you, I guess if you get told something every day, it just poisons your brain and stays in there forever.
I was raised to point and laugh at the idiocy of disney prince saves you and takes care of you nonsense bullshit, but that is exactly what I want to happen.
I can't imagine a decent life for myself.
I can't imagine ever not feeling sick to my stomach.
I just want it all to fucking end because it's never going to get better.
No. 757702
File: 1615313834656.jpg (223.94 KB, 1200x668, original (1).jpg)
I adopted a cat in October. about a month later, I had to go out of town for around five days at the last minute. I would have preferred not to suddenly leave my cat so soon into getting her, but wasn't given much choice. my brother offered to watch her though. I figured it'd be fine - she had been pretty low-maintenance so far, not super high anxiety, was pretty social. my brother and I also used to take care of our neighbor's cats when we were a bit younger. I wrote him a full list of instructions and just asked, specifically, that he try to keep his bedroom door shut so she's just limited to the bathroom and living room and has less hiding spots.
when I dropped her off though I got crazy anxious. she got stressed during the ride, so once I let her out at his place she stayed under the kitchen table. I figured she'd come out soon just like she had for me - I told my brother just leave her alone, she'll come out when she wants. leave her out some treats and put some familiar toys around and she'll start poking around.
but I still felt guilty leaving her - I could tell she was stressed and honestly, I was worried about my brother. he's usually pretty together, his apartment's usually pretty nice. but when I walked in it just felt wrong, I can't explain it anons. like, there were dried spills from making food on all the cabinets, stains on the walls in the bathroom, just… everything was gross, like he hadn't cleaned throughout all of quarantine. it was just off, and I felt so bad for leaving her in a dirty environment, I was close to tears the whole drive to the airport. but I tried to relax and trusted my brother to follow my list.
when I picked her up, of course, she was in my brother's bedroom, hiding under the bed. he said she had "run in the minute he opened the door", which I didn't believe - she was not and still isn't much of a "bolter", especially when she's stressed. I knew he had just forgotten to close the door. so of course my next twenty minutes is trying to coax her out from under his bed - when I get on the floor, there's a ripped open condom wrapper near me. disgusting. I have to ignore that and end up having to push her out with a broom. I felt so terrible and so guilty, but I just wanted to get her out, and be out of that apartment.
as I'm carrying out her litterbox, my brother goes "yeah that was in the bathroom, I never saw her go so I don't know if she went?" which I found out later that she had, thankfully, but my instructions were to sift through the box everyday?? just check, it takes like thirty seconds how fucking hard is it. so of course, that means for five days he didn't sift the box once. what the fuck, like you've taken care of cats before how do you not know this? why are you being so lazy when I've trusted my pet to you??
luckily as soon as I got her home she relaxed, she's been comfortable and sweet since then - I was so worried she might get some sort of anxiety as I wasn't sure of what her situation was before I adopted her. I'm just pissed, I was pissed then and I'm pissed now and genuinely this has dampened my relationship with my brother. maybe it's a small thing to stress over, it's just that before this we were so close and I had always been someone my brother came to and ranted to and trusted, and I ask for one thing in return and hardly get the bare minimum. I'm trying my best for this cat and she's relying on me and you can't bother to scoop her fucking litterbox.
No. 757711
>>757168>>757200I'm not saying you should kill him, but I am saying that if that were to happen to him, he's earned it
Realistically though, make an urgent doctor's appointment, one that you can get to alone, gynecology ideally
When you get in to the actual office, tell them what's going on and that you need help getting away from him
You have doctor-patient confidentiality there, and most doctors got into medicine to help people
No. 757775
>>757756i agree with everything else you said and i know you're just encouraging that anon, but
>college computer science majors outside of the very top schools aren't worth a thin slice of dickjust isn't true. companies will undoubtedly prefer hiring somebody with a degree and people with cs degrees will make significantly more starting pay than those who have to be trained and handheld through the job. it IS true that you absolutely do not have to have a cs degree to succeed in this field, but you need to bust your ass a whole lot harder
example: my bf got a psych degree instead of a cs degree. he had to teach himself everything over the course of 3-4 years post-university, and his starting salary at a consultancy was only ~50k.
i got a cs degree, and my entry level salary at the same company was 75 even though i'm way younger. my only point is that the fancy piece of paper DOES get you places
No. 757855
File: 1615324733278.jpg (37.31 KB, 564x564, 1578353397945.jpg)
Petty as shit but I am sick of seeing people on ig making posts about how traumatizing and wild it was to pop by a hospital for the vaccine or for some routine visit during the pandemic AND they get so many asspats from people I know? One of my friends told me how she was being brave because it's so scary in the hospitals with the restrictions, bitch she went in to get a bloodtest so she can get a refill on some medicine,fucking one time during the entirety of the pandemic? I go once a month for bloodtests, scans and exams because they suspect I have cervical cancer that has spread every fucking goddamn where and I just got told that it's different because I have gotten used to it. You fucking cunt I haven't, it's scary to go alone because I can't take anyone with me, there are people not wearing masks for some reason and bitches who have been partying and acting stupid all this time go get one little poke get endless "so brave" comments and I have to be understanding? I don't want to hear how fucking selfish I am, how petty I am or how I should dump this friend, she is sweet but thinks I am some fucking superhero who doesn't ever get upset, I am so positive even though I am sick, I am not afraid of anything!!! Bitch I AM.
No. 757876
File: 1615326602884.jpg (12.73 KB, 559x560, 4yq5f6wo93751.jpg)
My brother is a cryptofag and has gotten my parents and even my 11y/o brother into crypto recently. Now he's trying to convince me to make NFT's because I draw.
No. 757922
File: 1615330006624.jpg (76.1 KB, 666x499, 1558096347071.jpg)
i wanted to bake my mom cinnamon rolls because she's been going on an on about one recipe and it all went to shit. my yeast didn't activate, i put too much butter on accident, they didn't rise and in the end i burned them. i just wanted to do something nice
No. 757928
File: 1615330447674.jpg (34.93 KB, 851x550, tumblr_59e5f23219889135edccd19…)
my only friend that lives close is being weirdly distant. it's been bugging me for a week now. i don't know what the fuck to do about it. i hope she's just being an ass and watching anime and not going through something or getting sick of me.
No. 757950
I love not offering help to men who don't deserve it just to watch them struggle.
>men of today
>routinely research games, hobbies, sports, etc to find out all the little details and cheats of shit they do for fun
>routinely act helpless and like women naturally have all the answers for shit they don't do for fun, and what they refuse to bother to learn about like cleaning and cooking
>bf had today off and volunteers easy chores to do while I'm at work
>"Ok bf, and how about dinner?"
>decides on chicken breast and frozen bag veg, easymode of all easymodes
>doesn't start dinner until I get home
>I know where this is going
>"Anooooon is this thawed yet?"
>It's frozen towards the middle because you didn't separate it half way through thawing, but close enough.
>"Anooooon how I cook this???????"
>well if you're gonna fry chicken, pound it flatter so it cooks even
>half assed attempt to flatten chicken
>"Anooooooon the chicken turned a weird color coooooooking!"
>Yes, you fried it. It fried uneven so now the heavy end is fried more and the ends that didn't touch the pan are pale because they were steamed.
>"Anoooooon how do I tell when the chicken is cooked?"
>Cut it open and look.
>"Anoooooon the middle isn't cooking. What do?!?!?!"
>Idk, put it in the oven.
>"Anon what temp and for how long?"
>Idk look it up.
>"Anoooooooooon where are the oven mits?
>Idk, look around.
Lmao so pathetic. I don't care. I learned how to do this shit from trial and error and from looking shit up if I didn't know how to do something. I didn't jump out of the womb knowing how to cook.
No. 757997
>>757993Same. I really want a female friend. A best friend since I never had one.
I hope you will be able to visit your friend once this covid nightmare is over.
No. 757998
File: 1615335411319.png (721.56 KB, 1280x1069, tumblr_p1gfdxjGA61te01aeo1_128…)
I'm kind of annoyed.
I bought my dad lunch, but when it arrived he didn't say thank you. Which is weird because he falls all over himself to say thank you to his evil sister when she buys him like, fries, or gives him food she's ordered that she no longer wants – said evil sister is grossly fat, to the point of breaking his toilet seat, and she still hasn't paid him back for that but I digress.
I didn't even mind the above too much though, but a few hours later he noticed that something was missing from his table…a corkscrew or whatever, and got all bitchy at me over it "not being where he left it". I was house-sitting for him, but I didn't touch his damn table. And the last time I accidentally threw something out (a knife he "received from a departed friend" – never-mind that this knife was covered in grime and beneath like ten million sauce packets), I fessed up pretty quick when he asked. I also replace shit when I break it. I don't understand why he's acting like I'm untrustworthy.
I also don't get why he's so certain of himself, and that he didn't move the damned thing elsewhere in the house. You're a fucking drunk, you drink all the goddamn time, and you always claim to "not remember shit" after you go on a binge. Why the hell are you so testy? Even if it hadn't been moved in months…your drunk ass probably picked it up and forgot where you put it. Christ.
No. 758008
File: 1615335834150.png (264.5 KB, 381x291, 7483204326487236423.png)
>>757926I turned 30 last year. I broke up with my boyfriend of several years because he was
abusive, even though I genuinely loved him and gave 150% in the relationship in the hopes we could be happy and healthy together. I don't have any close friends, and in fact I fell out of touch with the one person who really meant something to me due to being isolated during the relationship. I work at an okay job that pays the bills but is ultimately unfulfilling on a personal level. I'm not sharing this to say I have it worse or invalidate how you're feeling, just to express that my life similarly sucks right now.
But it also kind of doesn't? All that being said, I'm trying to appreciate myself more and take pleasure in the little things. I'm trying to find joy in having a place to call my own. In dancing to a song I like. In reading a good book or seeing a pretty garden during a walk around my neighborhood. In exercising and feeling proud of myself when I can hold a difficult position for a few more seconds than before. I'm going back to school to finish my degree so I can move overseas to a country I've always wanted to explore. Ultimately we come into this world alone and we're going to leave it the same way, no matter how many relationships we cultivate in the process. I read your post and see someone who needs other people to validate her and give her permission to be happy. You don't need other people for that. You only need to give yourself permission, then it won't matter who acknowledges you or not because you're too busy enjoying life to care. Easier said than done I know, but you shouldn't be reliant on other people for your happiness. It's just you and the world, and you can change how you want to interact with it at any point in time.
No. 758053
File: 1615341475916.png (Spoiler Image,38.44 KB, 262x265, 47crax.png)
I'm so irked right now. I finally started using swagbucks to earn some money on the side, and as soon as I find a game that I can make fast progress in, the game decides I will no longer be able to progress because of some stupid block on the board. I haven't been able get rid of it no matter what I do and I'm a little pissed about it
No. 758098
>>758093I usually just distract myself with useless bullshit I like. Especially after bad interactions.
So just do something you like; read, watch tv, bake or something
No. 758134
File: 1615348919209.jpg (22.38 KB, 582x332, EqzJvEwUwAAJhGw.jpg)
i hate being a lazy depressed sack of shit so much but i dont know how to stop at this point. im 22 and ive never had a job and im nowhere near close to graduating college, i legit think my dad dying when i was 9 and the depression must have stunted my growth or some shit and now i play world of warcraft for like 7 hours a day
No. 758161
>>758138I talked to him (I'm bedbug anon who had a meltdown a few posts above lmao) and asked him why the fuck he called the management's pest company to come back for the second treatment. My aunt texted me last night saying that she's found out that he doesn't want to pay for our own exterminator but I've said MULTIPLE TIMES that
I will pay for our own exterminator. I will pay for him to treat our apartment, to treat our storage unit, AND for the follow up treatments that I want him to do!! I am ok with paying this money, I can afford to do so without struggling, and I want to do this to get the board to fuck off with their lawyer, and get these fucking bugs out of here because I found a guy (actually TWO) who can treat with minimal prep because my dad is a stubborn retarded hoarder. I have found someone who can work with us throughout this whole process.
I asked my dad why he's having them come back when I said I would pay for our own exterminator after the board approves of one I've picked and he only says "you don't get it" like he's been repeating non stop like a fucking broken toy. What? What don't I get? Because I already know when they come for their second treatment, we are just going to get ANOTHER letter from the property manager or even just straight up from the lawyer this time saying that AGAIN we were not prepared enough because my dad won't move any more shit out. I honestly think the 10'x10' storage unit we bought because of this whole ordeal is full because my family has accumulated so much god damn shit and insists on putting it in the storage unit instead of just keeping essentials in there and chucking out the rest of it. At best we are going to be back in square one, at worst (and more likely) we will be in even deeper shit because this will really solidify the "you are wasting the building's money so we are going to make you pay for it for your apartment AND the whole building because we have been trying to shift the entire blame onto you anyway" because refusing to cooperate by moving out more shit is just adding fuel to the fucking fire!!!!
No. 758219
File: 1615359251680.png (274.58 KB, 653x553, akane.png)
I fucking hate how scrotes have the nerve to confront me and complain when I don't reply back to their messages right away but then go MIA when it's their turn to reply…
No. 758268
>>758008Thank you for the great and positive post, I was very sad and I feel much better now!
You put a smile on my face, I really needed it!
No. 758355
File: 1615388799308.jpg (Spoiler Image,487.89 KB, 1056x972, IMG_20210310_160329.jpg)
I feel like this person continually tries to one-up everyone and then this while discussing ghosting
Consistently too graphic and isn't aware I socialise in the same group her partner does so when she posts about how great her partner is taking them in a family holiday but he is home online not aware he is binding with his family while visiting NZ it really gets on my tits.
No. 758415
File: 1615396476683.png (733.61 KB, 1600x1491, download (2).png)
being a research assistant at uni sucks ASS. professors are eternally 2 busy 4 you. i go a week without hearing shit, bouncing on my heels because i'm not getting paid if i don't get an assignment; then i get a frantic email that something needs to be done that's entirely beyond my scope/paygrade and it needs to be done within a couple of hours.
rinse and repeat.
also i basically work for 2 profs in the same department so whatever assignments i do need both of their approval, but they constantly disagree. i'm in the middle of an academic tug of war between two crusty computer science men
No. 758463
>>758383> I literally hook my fingers in his noseI don't know why but that's so ewww
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you set your limits but can't you poke his eyes out instead? The thought of boogers on my fingers makes me gag. Ewww again.
No. 758605
>>758596Jesus Christ, I'm really sorry, but you should just not talk to him again
Self harming in front of another person is like the hugest redflag there is, I'm saying this as a violent bipolar, there's worse shit in there if he's capable of that
No. 758610
>>758596I've said it a hundred times before and I'll say it again: The vast majority of scrotes that are your "friends" are still low key holding out hope you will fuck them one day. You should never be surprised when they try to make a conversation sexual because they are degenerates. Doesn't mean they can't do nice shit occassionally too, but you should never trust them. And if they can't respect your boundaries then they're not even worth your time.
And yes, his reaction is
very typical
abusive scrote behavior. They start moaning and crying about how horrible they are so the attention is deflected away from their creeper behavior and the
victim (you) stops rightfully blaming them, but even comforting them. Don't fall into that trap. Just be like "Yeah bro you
do suck. I'm out." My recommendation is to cut him off, he is showing you he is unstable and manipulative.
No. 758721
>>758670Just leave. Your boyfriend is prioritizing a guy who sexually assaulted his girlfriend over the woman he "loves." There's something wrong with that picture. Seems his feelings are stronger for his male friend. Cool, they can go fuck each other instead of putting their hands on you.
I'm sorry anon but your self esteem is in the dumps if you're willing to stay with a scrote who you have to fucking beg and
convince to stand up to someone who molested you. Please get away from garbage men (all of them) and spend some time caring for yourself and building yourself up.
No. 758726
rant incoming, sorry.
my male cousin, a proud NEET, has been telling me how he hates being a man and all the expectations that come with it, and just wants to be a girl. to him woman = skirts and makeup and giggling. he sent me a story he wrote about becoming a woman and it was so delusional, seriously, it was insulting to see him describe womanhood as something so vapid, full of sexist stereotypes (women have it so easy!!), it felt so fetish-y (mentioning panties and shit like that unnecessarily, literally NO woman focuses on her fucking panties so much!), i'm like 100% sure he's an AGP but obviously that's not something i want to confront him with, he's super sensitive and i honestly do care for him, but jesus, i don't get why he can't just be a gnc man. he even sent my fucking MOM the story bc she's like the only liberal boomer in our family…
No. 758735
>>758734they got rid of the potatos and the shredded chicken, the only tasty shit left on the menu is chalupas and cheesy bean and rice burritos, and the burritos are technically gone now too, but they'll still make them for you because they still have the ingredients
taco bell sucks now
No. 758737
File: 1615418951350.gif (3.25 MB, 352x352, F9684BE9-4EA3-40D4-B14D-291F5A…)
Me almost crying because realistically you’re just talking to a void, hundreds of more obnoxious loud voices talking over you and get more attention. I don’t even think I’m real anymore, it’s like I have no effect on the current time, I don’t even blend in I’m not even there to begin with .
Sometimes when I wake up, I always think that I’m dead even though my heartbeat says otherwise. There’s apart of me that desires attention, friendship, joy, fame, and even love but another part of me doesn’t want to search for the mountaintops for some kind of meaning, I just want time to stop, I want everything to stop, I want myself to be removed from my painful shell of a body, I want to be free, I want complete freedom. But again I don’t exist in this confinement of time anymore, I’m not even there. I’m not real
No. 758815
>>758792based farmer
don’t even let scrotes breathe the same air as you this month
No. 758835
File: 1615427338297.jpeg (77.99 KB, 386x600, C34C492B-B69A-460B-B462-ACE997…)
this sinatraa drama has gotten my physically sick, i fucking hate gamers, i actually want to quit the game and thinking about quitting the game. people really defended this prick, and there was proof, im so fuckijg sick its hitting so close to home, i understand exactly wtf cleo's talking about.
i really hope all male gamers (and female pick mes defending this shit) a very nice die.
No. 758896
File: 1615433186636.jpg (26.63 KB, 340x340, 4821388-1x1-340x340.jpg)
I don't know why I can't fucking control my emotions better especially over small shit like this.it was a week ago but it all started when I was joking with my grandma about having 5 jobs im not certain why she snapped like this but she literally humiliated me in front of my uncle,niece and aunt about a shitty time I had abroad when I was 18,all because I fucked up badly over there (I lost 3 jobs in less than a year, pathetic I know)and how she claimed I misbehaved so badly at my jobs that I got fired from it (it was because I was so lost and confused and irresponsible too)I became red and quiet,as soon as they dropped me off at home I began sobbing uncontrollably.i mean was it necessary to say crap like that?most of it was true but damn we were just joking a minute ago.I know I should have ignored her and move on but I didn't,I shouldn't have cried for stupid crap like this,especially from her.but damn those times truly sucked for me.
No. 758912
I'm having some kind of eczema breakout and it fucking sucks ughhh. Theres a huge patch on my thigh, and a little on my fingers. I had eczema on my thighs when I was younger, but it went away and rarely comes back so I don't even have any cream, bleghh
>>758896That's not stupid to cry over anon! I understand why someone making fun of a bad experience you had in foreign country might hurt a lot. Maybe you could try ask your grandma to not do that?
No. 758928
File: 1615436157495.jpg (111.39 KB, 1280x658, 1599416616323.jpg)
I am listening to a video on bonnie and clyde and hearing about Clyde's temper, I remembered this dude from school. I'll preface this by saying this behavior ended abruptly somewhere around high school but this dude was a lunatic, he would smash his own head against poles, every recess during the winter, the snow would be actually splattered with blood for weeks. He threw these ice balls or snowballs with stones in them at other kids, he would get screaming tantrums and yea we had other bullies and troubled kids but this lil dude was actually disturbed, but also from a religious as shit family. I think people here would call it a cult, they weren't allowed to listen to music, watch tv, dance and so on but every other day or so, his mom had to come pick him up midday because this dude was acting posessed as fuck, we were actually afraid of this kid. I don't think I ever saw him hold a normal conversation until 7th or 8th grade when he was suddenly so polite, so nice, was hella smart and in high school he had befriended people close to me and acted like we went way back. This kid genuinely tried to murder us during recess, tried to stab teachers multiple times, I saw him try to break his own bones and give himself multiple bloody noses and then this sudden switcharoo? What the fuck happened. My mom says that this kid's dad came off super off and my tinfoil is that something really sinister went on in that family, these families tend to have loads of kids so wouldn't be weird to slip through the cracks but this dude is now such a lanky chill dork. Works at my local grocery, his mom still nods at me at the shops, what the fuck, did they switch the boy? Shit annoys me, I fucking hate these kind of religious fucks, thank god they aren't all too common.
No. 758931
File: 1615436560300.jpeg (52.34 KB, 522x700, 4A8C7145-7EE2-47C5-A8B8-020793…)
One of the two records I’ve been wanting for over 2 years has been sold out on Amazon for months and now I have to buy a used cd copy and pay a shit amount in shipping but it feels like it’s selling out fast because zoomers caught wind of it or something I don’t fucking know but I’m so fucking upset and choking up because it’s my own fault I wasn’t fast enough to order it last year when I had a chance. Now I’m scared I’ll lose the second one so I’m buying it as soon as I see it. As soon as my used copy arrives I’m downloading the files to 3 flashdrives for future use because cds are actual shit and putting it on youtube. I hope no one has to go through this bullshit like I did.
No. 758976
I went from not working much, like, doing 15 hours a week at most, to suddenly working 30 hours. I'm so fucking drained. It drains me completely, I work a very fast paced job where I'm talking nonstop, and added onto that, my mental health is tanking bad, my eating disorder has come back into full force. I had a breakdown so bad where I was trying to purge up a bunch of food and got nothing up, instead shredded my throat and was spitting up blood; The worst of all is the sheer guilt I feel because I just do NOT have the energy to keep up with my friends, I'll watch them all get into voice calls together and I'll just sit there wanting to join in but knowing that I absolutely don't have the energy for it, or I will join in, and just get so burnt out after thirty minutes of trying to talk. I feel like they all hate me for it and think of me as an awful person for it, even though I've made it pretty clear about how bad my mental health / life strain has been, the guilt is just eating away at me.
No. 759057
>>755729So i have this cousin right, always appeared like a normal and well adjusted person.
Anyway, she is married with 2 kids. Thing is, after they had their first child, she got really sick with lupus and is basically no longer able to work anymore, leaving her husband to be the the only breadwinner. He is a warehouse manager and made like 40k with car debt and a mortgage. Since they were tight on finances, we helped them with crib, toys, clothes for both the kid and mom, and plenty of other things in a span of years right.
Badda bing bada boom she popped out another kid after that. Knowing full well that she's jeopardizing her and her future kid's well being. Her mom, my aunt told us before that they were advised from having more children and yet they went with it still. Well what do you know, her health got worse, is bedridden most of the time and one healthbar away from becoming stephen hawking. Then my aunt launched this sob story of how they are barely scraping with welfares, food coupons and having their eldest kid, a 5 year old took on the role of mother to her younger sibling and got bullied for having hand me downs. That last part is just practically begging now. Honestly they are a nice bunch of a family but maybe a little nutty on the religion side which leads me to believe why they have been trying to breed more.
Well, the reason why i'm ranting all this shit is because they just announced that she had just delivered a new baby.
No. 759110
File: 1615465985754.png (151.88 KB, 677x375, cow eye bleach.png)
really didn't need to see some ugly fat quasimodo-looking mongoloid's dirty pussy and asshole, where are jannies ffs
No. 759114
File: 1615466926369.jpeg (281.16 KB, 1242x875, FD5AC707-351D-434A-9B36-43536C…)
>>759110Pictures like the ones that get spammed here, of dicks of asses and the sorts, are what really makes me wish the internet got shut down globally so the attention whores cease their existence.
Truly, why do people even request nudes? How can anyone get turned on by the crusty pictures of a rando that has no connection whatsoever with them?
No. 759130
File: 1615468389302.gif (39.74 KB, 476x451, <3.gif)
>>759128T-thanks. I didn't mean to sperg about her weight it's just that I might be more lax when it comes to classifying someone as fat, I was kind of surprised to see everyone bringing that up. I'm still going to try to lose weight but after this weekend. I need my pizza first lol.
No. 759182
>>759179Don’t worry, anon, it takes lots of ups and downs to be able to control yourself.
I went back to binge eating during quarantine after being able to keep sweets around me without the need to eat them.
But after getting busy with anything else, I reduced my binge eating, so you might want to try finding something to keep yourself occupied, like a game, going out if possible, chores, anything.
If you can’t think of food, you can’t feel the need to eat anything other than the necessary.
No. 759188
File: 1615476483915.jpeg (110.09 KB, 720x960, 9D08524D-9F07-4C71-A58A-5C2839…)
One of my favorite fanfics of a niche-ish pairing was deleted by the author and I can’t find it anywhere and never downloaded it. Why live?
No. 759240
File: 1615481949933.jpeg (134.32 KB, 720x1080, E704B93C-6120-4A06-BD92-8646E6…)
>>759214Kek I have no idea who they are they were in a masterpost of cosplayers drinking/smoking like but I’m sorry anon
>>759208>>759225I’ll give this a try! I had actually messaged her, and she gave me a link to some old fics she’d deleted but still liked, but my fave wasn’t one of them rip
No. 759290
I never talk about my past sexual experiences with boyfriends because of how easily jealous and butthurt they get over the fact that women have had more sex than them and heaven forbid have had better sex with other people.
I don't say shit. When asked, I play demure and like I've only ever had a few serious boyfriends and a few shitty dates. I've had a fuckton of sex though, been in many relationships, and have certainly fucked with bigger dick.
In short–I do this to prevent hurt feelings all around by not bringing up irrelevant sexual exploits. I think it's the right thing to do especially when you care about someone.
And yet my current boyfriend, who is a massive dork, has to keep telling me repeat stories of the (whopping several excluding his last marriage that lasted over a decade) women he's slept with. I feel like he does it to be less insecure or something or to be perceived as desirable.
Because otherwise, I don't give a shit about these bitches, and heaven knows why he brings up these stories to me as if he thinks I'll care. We could be talking about the most mundane shit and yet it might lead to a sex story. I do my best to convey that he's attractive to me but I guess his insecurities persist.
Like yesterday we were showering together and somehow queefing got brought up. He said how he's never heard me queef. Well, inside my mind I know I've never queefed unless the guy has a massive cock and is pushing air inside me. Combined with the fact that I get more stretched out when I'm routinely fucking with a large penis. Bf is average and doesn't have me doing acrobatics, but I can't say that. So I just tell him that I don't queef because no air is getting inside me and I'm not that loose. In response he just HAS to inform me that he slept with an older woman who had kids and she never queefed either, so.
Omfg. Does it matter? Jfc.
No. 759310
>>759307nyart– no, but if you're relaxed it can allow air to slip in. so maybe that's what anon meant.
Queefing can be hilarious if you have a good partner tho. I have a tilted uterus so if my partner pulls up while he's pulling out, or I shift up during doggy it'll hit a wall and allow a gap to form and air will get sucked in.
Queefing is very common but doesn't happen to every woman because it just has to be the right circumstances for it to happen.
Think about putting a trashbag in a can, it's like that. sometimes it makes a vacuum, sometimes it doesn't.
No. 759393
File: 1615497703019.jpg (22.54 KB, 269x217, 1429917712660.jpg)
>call off work because I'm literally so fatigued that talking tires me out, can't really move my arms much
>Boyfriend knows this yet decides today he wants to completely redo our room and keeps asking me to come and help move shit around and gets annoyed when I try and say I literally cannot
Dude. What the fuck.
No. 759405
File: 1615498878572.jpg (16.83 KB, 480x360, cg.jpg)
I'm so sick and tired of friends who date absolute dirtbags with known issues and get hurt as a result then come to me crying about how he couldn't be changed. I'm sorry you got hurt but everyone told you the asshole is an asshole. Don't dunk your hand in scalding water and cry when you get burned.
No. 759406
File: 1615498992939.jpg (33.63 KB, 440x438, 440px-Digital_rectal_exam_nci-…)
My moid e-boyfriend has anorectal problems for a week now, he started bleeding from his anus and he got really scared because he's not used to seeing blood down there and he's a total weenie. I tried to tell him what to do and tried to calm him down. He literally had anxiety because his anus is destroyed, and didn't go to work. He was on the verge of crying I presume. I told him to eat more fiber to stop being so constipated. This guy doesn't know how to cook, he calls two
pieces of stale bread and 1 slice of ham a meal. No, he doesn't even put mayo on it. After the doctor put a finger inside his little asshole and beamed a laser on his hemorroids, he felt better. But then he got diarrhea because his entire system is not used to eating fiber. And guess what? He got anxiety because he was pooping two times a day.
Then this motherfucker tells me "I don't want to talk about my medical ailments anymore because it gives me anxiety". shut the fuck up.
I know I'm an asshole but is it normal to be angry at him? Yes I respect the boundary that he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. But somehow it makes me so FUCKING ANGRY, I don't want to talk to him for a couple of days because of how upset I am. Is this abusive on my part? Legit asking.
No. 759407
>>759393>>759396They know. Men know. They just don't care about you and are feeding off your energy (and expect you to put up with it).
You both know you don't need this in your life, right? This is what you are choosing voluntarily -for some reason. Why don't you protect yourselves from this?
No. 759417
>>759380you're using drugs to anesthetize yourself from your life with this man… I think you already know what to do. Do not waste yourself away for only 9 years out of your whole life! there is so much for you to experience. Do not accept this in your life anymore.
Every second of this is a second wasted that could be spent building something you actually love and care for.
No. 759430
>>759396Honestly he sounds pretty shitty
nonny. My ex was a fucking knob and he still tiptoed and was as quiet as possible when I got a migraine and left glasses of water for me, that should honestly be a minimum.
No. 759496
File: 1615510860478.png (695.62 KB, 1100x1100, Product_Roast_SageGarlic_1LB_U…)
I made picrel for dinner tonight. It's really good for a veggie roast but bf didn't like it. I even tried to spruce it up with a brown sugar butter glaze. He ate two slices and then graciously offered me the rest to take to work for lunch tomorrow. Cause he doesn't like it.
Idk, he sends mixed signals. One week he's complaining about his belly and wants to switch up our diets. Then the next he's wanting to pound back burgers, tendies, pasta, etc. I make salad and he doesn't touch it. I'll make something gourmet like cast iron skillet brussel sprouts with bacon and parm and he'll say he likes it and eats a serving but will never touch the leftovers again.
When he does feel in the mood for a vegetable, he cooks something gross like serving cold frozen broccoli he heated up in the air fryer with a shower of garlic powder on top. He's not the pickiest man I've known, my friend's husbands are pickier but still.
No. 759518
File: 1615513102343.jpg (720.87 KB, 3024x4032, hmm.jpg)
My dad is trying to help me apply to scholarships, but he's a boomer that doesn't get how anything works and just makes things harder. Why do you need my tax returns again after filling out fafsa? Why can't you just get a full ride scholarship? Have you checked out the scholarship emails my friend sent me? (He got the email in 2019, sent it 2021, and they're just internship opportunities).
I think the worst for me as that I started late into the year, this month, and I'm nothing, but an average student. He thinks I'm some perfect student and scholarships grow on tree's, but thats both wrong. I don't wanna talk to him in a few months explaining how I got zero scholarships or aid, applied to the college to late for scholarships and he makes to much for grants.
No. 759521
File: 1615513143752.jpeg (371.82 KB, 750x722, 56998FE4-D40E-4804-BAD9-B1FF69…)
I just wish my mom would drop dead. I honestly feel no love or connection for her and she obviously doesn’t give a single shit about my feelings. I want her to finally fucking drop dead and stop breathing in her sleep, I’m so tired of her and everything and suppressing my feelings. I can’t stand being at my house, I can’t stand the constant fluctuation from excitement to pure feeling nothing and apathy. I’m so tired and I want to rest forever. I want her to finally drop dead from her pathetic, emotionally negligent, obese life. I can’t stand parents who have the “if I didn’t have a good childhood or life, then you can’t” mentality, it’s like I’m not able to live my life or feel anything. I literally just got out of my house and walked 30 minutes and the night sky was beautiful, this is what my negative feelings have been hiding from me, a beautiful world inhabited by shitty people you have to unfortunately deal with, blood or not. And not a single close family member asked where I went or were worried when I stormed out and they simply don’t care if I committed suicide, was kidnapped, or died. I saw a white van drive past me in the near pitch walkway and I felt danger and fun, joking in my head that some human traffickers are going after me but the van thankfully passed.
No. 759535
>>759444Not this year, but definitely last year before I wised up. A HUGE number of online shops especially the ones advertised on Facebook and Instagram are drop-shippers with shitty business practices and misleading product photos. Before buying anything, search for Trustpilot or Better Business Bureau reviews, and search their name on instagram- People post negative reviews/callouts and tag shitty businesses. Also, if you see an item you like that's really kitschy and expensive but the website doesn't have its origin or materials listed, take a screenshot of the product photo and crop it down to the item. Download Aliexpress, the Chinese shopping app, and use the photo upload search function- A large majority of the time, you'll find the stolen product photos and can get the item directly from the manufacturer and underpaid factory child laborers for 10% of what an instagram dropshipper is selling the item for.
I don't mean to scare you off or anything by saying that, but it just is what it is and if I'm going to buy some dumbass thing I'd rather pay the factory directly than some exploitative Shopify page. I hope that helps!
No. 759542
>>759540Ooooh Etsy and Depop sellers are some of the biggest dropshipping offenders, so much 'handmade jewelry' is from Aliexpress and Taobao for $0.01
Sorry I just get super mad about predatory practices like that, last January I ordered a "handmade bridal crown" from an etsy seller for like $45 and 2 months later found the EXACT SAME ONE at Michael's for $12. I'm done ranting lol. I hope your shopping experiences get better!
No. 759563
File: 1615517554115.png (167.68 KB, 364x396, 97r9708.png)
Why the fuck is this a meme?
No. 759567
>>758912Thanks anon,I just need to be thick skinned around her rather than being a sensitive crybaby
It was unusual from her though and uncalled for
No. 759592
File: 1615519437464.jpg (54.39 KB, 356x512, dear diary.jpg)
How is it that despite waking up hours earlier than my boyfriend every morning, working a longer shift, and then coming home to do more things before I even start to feel drowsy around 11pm that he still has the need to go to sleep at fucking 9pm? I'm so fucking bored fam. I came out to the kitchen to be on my laptop because there's no point laying like a sardine in my bed trying to be careful not to wake him while watching something on tv that's at a whisper volume. Can't even watch tv in my living room because roommate is hogging it, per usual. I get that boyfriend is a tad older than me but I wonder if he's not depressed or something. He sleeps like crazy and never seems to want to do anything besides plop in my bed when he gets home and watch some brainless–self-admitted–movies like superhero shit which I hate. When it's finally my turn for a night to pick something to watch, he complains about whatever I choose as either requiring "too much think" or "too silly" for his tastes. He's bored of whatever I pick and drops within 30 minutes of putting it on.
Sorry, I don't want to watch The Dark Knight.
Sorry, I don't want to watch The Secretary.
You've seen these movies already anyway.
Can we watch engaging and thoughtful movies that don't involve overpowered narcissist worship, or damaged yet hot women clowning themselves?
I'm going to have to get a hobby that doesn't involve him or I'm going to go fucking crazy. This boredom has me upset about watching fucking tv.
No. 759624
>>759611kekkkkkk this is so freaking funny lmao
also, dump him
No. 759625
File: 1615523884959.gif (2 MB, 200x200, canteven.gif)
>>759611> I suffer for my own silence by not telling him to shut the fuck up every fucking day. Men are a disease. Men are sick. Art is dead. I fucking hate music now. oh my god my sides
No. 759627
>>759620He sulks like a baby if you tell him that his shoes stink and need to be washed, if I told him he sucked asshole at music in the nicest words possible he'd bring it up bitterly for a year. I just can't, that'd be the only thing worse than his music tbh.
>>759621He is genuinely tone deaf. He records himself often just for "practice" reasons but thankfully hasn't posted it anywhere. A lost cause would be putting it nicely.
>>759624I'll probably have to just to remain sane.
No. 759655
>>759611>Imagine someone who was a bad painter to begin with slowly losing their eyesight.lmaoooo
>Men are a disease. Men are sick. Art is dead. I fucking hate music now. He's like having bedbugs but in your ears.>It's like he's never heard a song beforeI love you anon
No. 759702
File: 1615539689607.jpeg (62.58 KB, 750x831, B83B3800-F4DE-4FEA-BE38-E0DD5F…)
I’ve explained multiple times to my SO that his using of his phone while he’s driving makes me uncomfortable and I’d prefer it if he did it less. Today we kinda started fighting over it and his excuse is that he’s an experienced driver and only do it when he has “control”. It just makes me so upset because out of all things he could defend its using his phone while driving. He just thinks I’m silly and overreacting, I don’t know what to tell him to make him understand.
No. 759718
File: 1615543021020.png (195.9 KB, 703x560, ugly.png)
I finally got a psychiatrist to take my issues with my extremely shitty self-confidence. I've been asking for help with it for YEARS because nothing I do to raise it helps ("fake it til you make it", try to find good things about my looks in the mirror every day even if it's minor, etc) and it really affects my every day life to the point that I occasionally actually want to die so I had suspicions that something might be really wrong with me.
At first she didn't really know what to make of it, like most other professionals I've seen, but it seemed like she did some thinking between our last session and this. I had a complete breakdown while talking about it last week, which is fairly rare because I'm usually fairly put-together exception from a wee bit of occasional crying, seems to check out with a type of body dysmorphia. I've had suspicions about it before but I didn't really want to think about it, I don't want another diagnosis on my already existing pile of issues and I'm scared that it means I will never be happy with myself of my brain being permanently wacky.
But on the other hand I'm also happy to have it finally getting taken seriously.
No. 759753
File: 1615547589406.png (702.64 KB, 645x639, 8CC67A8B-0AD7-439B-A9DE-FD4CE4…)
I'm breaking up with my boyfriend of 1+ year this weekend.
No. 759765
>>759758I hope so! One of the goals we set when we started the therapy was to help me be able to think positive thoughts about myself, so with this maybe she'll figure out a good approach to it as well.
Though I wish I could talk to people around me about it, I always felt like a whiny fuck whenever I talked about how much I hate myself but at lest there is an explanation to it now, but I don't wanna have to explain that I'm not gonna troon out due to the association lol
No. 759927
>>759901Well I for one hate how "Westerners" call themselves that because they conveniently leave out all the fucking South Western world because they are too important to be mixed with poop latin americans and Africans.
Fuck the "West" I wish people would use geographic words correctly, not as a way to explain their fucking neocolonial mindset.
No. 759934
>>759683I've never understood why dubs are still so shitty, I feel like any random high school drama club would do a better job, or at least it would be more engaging than the same old flat-affect boring as hell VAs. By the way, you are correct that people who complain about having to read subs are not fully literate. More people than you would expect actually have to "actively read", like they can read but it's not effortless. They're not like sounding it out or anything, its subtle. When I was a barista, it was scary how many adults would slightly or totally misread manu items. Whenever you see someone implying that reading takes effort as opposed to being unthinkingly automatic, that person is just not fully, fluently literate. Also, a large percent of the population has genuine dyslexia and for them reading will always be more work, and a lot of people actually have dyslexia and dont know it. It's sad because they dont even know how relatively hard it is for them vs other people, and idk if it's that fixable once someone is grown.
Also love "brainboggled", will be using
No. 759955
File: 1615578225542.jpg (10.11 KB, 275x198, 1605189472625.jpg)
I've failed so bad at female socialization, and socialization in general. I've always felt so disconnected with both girls and guys. I was an ugly duckling tomboy when I was younger, so I had a hard time making friends of either gender. For some reason girls were grossed out by me just like guys which always struck me as weird.
I've tried so many things to try and fix it, so many years of therapy (along with other issues), exercise/self improvement, meditation, reading books, reaching out and taking initiative with people. I have one friend who lives in another state now, she is a nice person but we aren't as emotionally close as I want.
I've had so many bad experiences with men after giving them countless chances that I feel comfortable saying yes, all men are like that, and it just proves itself to be true. It doesn't matter if they're sexually attracted to you or not, single or taken, they behave in really gross ways and I don't feel emotionally connected to them.
I want to be closer to women but I am kind of afraid of them since I was bullied a lot as a teenager mostly by girls. I was even bullied and targeted by women in college, whereas when men didn't like me they would just avoid me.
I just came to terms with being a lesbian but I still hold a shred of doubt in me that maybe 1/1,000,000,000 guys in the world will actually be good. So my sexuality also complicates my attempts to be close to women, because I feel creepy
No. 759957
>>759924'Westerners' is such a dumb term, there like hundreds of western cultures, most of them don't give a shit about SJW culture, if you mean Americans, say Americans.
Also, yeah, being
triggered by sizes is dumb, 'fashism' in anime too.
But what a dumb ass argument is that you shouldn't ever criticise media that you aren't target audience for. Or criticise someone's culture.
I can criticise Saudi because it's fucking horrible to women. I can criticise America because of its SJW identity bullshit. I can criticise Japan because of its disgusting pedo culture.
Just because you're a weeb japanophile doesn't mean people can't touch your favourite country.
No. 759982
File: 1615580837201.png (17.17 KB, 719x720, arrow-44083_960_720.png)
My vent is that it's annoying when anons refuse to take a single look at the board and its culture, reddit spacing and double posting like no tomorrow. Why the fuck not just read the fucking rules so I don't need to see 586787 lines of "paragraphs" that are actually just sentences. Goddamit, same goes for the lack of sage, namefagging and so on but for some reason the way some anons just reddit space and take so much space just because they don't care to take a tiny little look before typing the fuck away, fuck off hemmingway ass.
No. 760031
>>759955i'm the same way with women no matter how hard i try to 'integrate' socially, i feel judged when i try to do back and forth with them or rarely get replies
i have slightly more luck online because i can fake being normal at first
all in all it's pointless to try to be normal
No. 760141
File: 1615594299870.jpeg (80.2 KB, 944x927, 76B813C2-DF5A-4520-ACC6-27F0D8…)
>>760104Nah fuck that anon
He had 12 years, over an entire decade to realize what he had and take care to keep it. Sounds Iike you’re both grown grown, like closer to 30 than 20 grown.
Him not having friends is also his choice. You just work on getting that less miserable life for yourself.
No. 760188
>>760153Same. I don’t have any kids and probably won’t get married, I seriously panic every time I see sad older women working at like Walmart checkout stands or living alone in crappy apartments as crazy cat aunties because I can see myself hurtling that way at Mach speed.
Single women without families become more invisible and isolated every year past a certain age, I want to try and find someone before then but I’m feeling completely hopeless.
No. 760194
File: 1615597868604.jpg (22.95 KB, 400x600, EwKTmeLWYAALTn6.jpg)
I'm not suicidal, but I do want to kill myself sometimes. I know I should keep going, but life has been so draining and hard since childhood.
No. 760200
File: 1615598468269.gif (1.05 MB, 480x264, FE555594-FEB2-4464-8709-E8B8D8…)
I feel like I have a ridiculously contrary personality and I’ve got a bad temper on top of it. I always have to disagree with the majority, or hate what’s popular (movies, celebrities / public figures, fandoms and ships) so I can barely enjoy anything.
Like a hipster on steroids, I ALWAYS end up loving something way less popular and then getting spiteful that my favorite isn’t getting as much attention.
Everything also sets me off (adderal is amplifying it now, too) I’m a miserable angry bitch 24/7 why the fuck am I like this ??? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
No. 760218
File: 1615599816189.png (424.85 KB, 1200x973, AF194987-78B6-498B-9305-8A687A…)
I'm going CRACY in lockdown and everything, I have no friends man I need a life…My brains disintegrating as we speak. How can I make friends… nobody seemed to want to put in the effort of friendship even before all this
No. 760259
File: 1615603112713.gif (356.52 KB, 500x372, 18f.gif)
I'm sick and tired of myself. It's my first year in uni but I'm staying with a family member since covid happened and so I had to move really far temporarily. My episodes are becoming more frequent because I miss everyone including boyfriend, and I really like calling him so I feel like I have company but for some reason my episodes always end up happening on a thrusday or Friday and he has DnD those days so I cant call him. I have no one else to talk to but I don't want to be a bitch and force him to listen to me whine and tell him how much I miss him instead of hanging with his friends since they don't see each other often but goddamn. I've never been isolated and disconnected from anyone before and its really starting to fuck me up since he's the only person I have that will listen to me when I'm upset. Not even my best friend is available when I'm like this even though I've always been available for them and it kind of hurts. I just want to talk to him so badly whenever I feel like this. I always feel myself get so mad when I know that our conversation will be cut short just for that day but I don't want to take that out on him. But most of all I'm mad at myself for somehow creating this dependency instead of working through my emotions like I've done in the past. Fuck you DnD, you took my psychologist.
No. 760292
>>760287Spray water on them then put them in a freezer, just light enough to get icy but not so much it's visible
I froze a workmates boots and toolbox in a trough of water after they were a cunt on a Friday
No. 760296
>>760243Not trying to be mean but I think the wealthier older single people tend to live in or near cities just for convenience, fun and quality of life, since being old and single in the sticks seems like hell. My mom is about retirement age and actually has been seeing a lot more of her friends from college that stayed single/childless in the city near us, since she has the free time now compared to when she had young kids. Shes been leaving my dour ol dad behind for retired professionals wine lunch and it seems fun lol. Shes talked about how she thought she could keep up friendships after moving out of the city just to a close suburb but it really didn't work, so i think she kinda wished she'd stayed on the city. Closer urban environments help you stay more in touch with people I think, and it's easier to meet friends & companions in a city where theres more older single people around. Also I think, as a single person, you can move up in careers way faster in the city, because theres jist more opportunities, and also it's not considered weird to be older & single like it is in more suburban/rural places. I guess you didn't say you weren't in a city, but either way you kinda gotta have money if you dont want to rely on people.
No. 760304
>>760188idk why you would assume they have no family, it's not like being single and childfree was common in their generation. Chances are those older ladies work at walmart because divorce impoverishes women at a far higher rate than it does men.
I'm gonna avoid marriage and kids specifically because I want to be financially secure in my old age and so I can retire early. Nothing's going to disrupt my career or fuck with my earning potential, I'll have no financial liabilities (a husband who gambles, drinks, screws me in divorce court etc) and I won't need to spend my money on anyone but myself. I'll have to prepare for aging by getting a legal advocate etc but I think facilities for single elders will improve as the number of single elders increases.
No. 760308
File: 1615614655551.jpg (101.79 KB, 1200x652, EI3ujGjWwAAdiHd.jpg)
Is it possible to be in your mid-20s and already feel like technology and society are leaving you behind? I barely understand NFTs, I'm a little scared of them even, but they're talked about like they're life-altering and alarming and I don't know if I should be changing the way I share art or use social media or whatever. To be honest anything that involves cryptocurrency intimidates the fuck out of me. I think I'm developing technophobia. I used to find cottagecore people kind of twee and idealistic but now all I can fantasize about is completely unplugging from the internet and living somewhere where none of that shit matters.
No. 760322
>>760308dont worry about the nft/blockchain stuff lol it's not that complicated or special. A blockchain is simply a record of transaction history that's kept by all involved parties (like if everyone had access to a global record of every time a dollar bill changed hands). Most journalists still dont know the difference between "a blockchain" in general, and Bitcoin which is one specific blockchain. There was a frontpage kotaku article about blockchain like yesterday where the guy blatantly had no fuckin clue what he was talking about, even the comment section roasted him.
NFTs are just specific blockchains created by companies so theres a record of "we sold this to this one guy and this proves hes the true owner of these pixels" and it cant ver duplicated or forged. Its just a way for redditors and autists to have something new to collect, and even better, something that they are the "sole owner" of. It's no coincidence that this is happening right after the reddit game stop Robin hood saga - the demographic of redditors and dickheads that spent the last 4 years donating to trump & bernie now has nothing to do but invest in stupid shit for memes, and then the redditors on the losing end of it get salty and write salty doomer thinkpieces. Literally and I'm 0% kidding, disregard everything you read clamoring about the danger or unfairness of NFT or whatever the fuck, people have literally no idea what they are talking about, like genuinely none, and media is being really irresponsible letting clueless people write so much unchecked drivel about it. Could NFTs be worth something in the future? Maybe, but it's literally impossible to tell if it'll be like beanie babies or baseball cards, and either way its autists taking money from other turbo autists so who tf cares, better its this than them funding ron paul again or w/e the fuck they latch onto. Fools and their money, etc.
No. 760326
File: 1615618709215.png (491.92 KB, 908x772, 1606690263409.png)
I'm on the pill, have an IUD, always use condoms, and I'm still scared I'm pregnant
and I'm realizing my doctor is probably right that I have bipolar disorder
No. 760363
>>760326Can you do both the pill and an IUD? I'm guessing you mean the copper one
I'm so paranoid about pregnancy that I just stopped having sex a few years ago. The last guy I dated had a vasectomy which was cool but then the sex was so one sided and crappy that I couldn't even make the most of that deal anyway. Sex just doesn't feel worth it.
No. 760473
>>760410Who cares about age anon, just take your inner child as a good thing. At least you're not mentally a bitter shriveled auntie, it's better to feel young than old.
And nowadays 30 is the new 20, people are just getting into their adult lives and figuring stuff out because of long colleges, changing majors, no good job opportunities, not having enough money to be independent and so on. I'm 26 too and most people around me are only now slowly getting on track and figuring themselves.
And 26 is still very young anyway, if you were 16, you wouldn't be like 'omg I'm almost 20'.
No. 760488
File: 1615645338484.png (1.03 MB, 1080x1069, sad1.png)
I wish I can stop having a love/hate relationship with my mum. As I grew older I resent her more and more and I don't know how to stop. I know she tried her best to raise my siblings and I, and I'm forever grateful for that since we turned out okay, but when I look back at my childhood memories, she hurt my feelings quite a lot and neglected me sometimes. I know she had a rough childhood and maybe that's why she turned into a cold and strict mum. When I was a kid, I was always ignored by her. She favours my older sibling and younger sibling (yes, hello middle child syndrome)more. So to get her attention I have to be the unproblematic child, always perform well in school, always be a good child and don't complain, always listen to her and follow her instructions without question. I did all that and I was still ignored by her. I remember I had to learn about puberty and period by myself whereas when my siblings got their period she sat down with them and explained what to do. When I received awards for getting top score for a few subjects at school, she didn't even bother to come to see me accept them. I was so sad because all of my friends' parents came for the event except for my parents. But when my older sibling or younger sibling have school events, she will happily attend them. She always ridicule my hobbies and interests too to the point where I had to lie about my hobbies and interests if she asked. She even ridicules my fashion sense! Whereas, I noticed she never does that to my other siblings. She even forced me to get a degree in a subject which I don't want and now I end up stuck working in a field that I'm not that interested in at all. Now that I live far away from my parents due to work, she ends up doing a 180. Constantly asking me to come home or find work closer to home. Always wanting to call me to chat and even asked me to send her a parcel or two of local foods to her. But if I come home for a visit during the holidays, she always ends up saying hurtful things to me. If I come home, I always have to switch into a fake "good child" mode and pretend to be someone I'm not. I can't even be myself when I'm around her. Now I hate going back home to visit my parents because what's the point of going home if I'll end up getting ridiculed or scolded by my mum? Sometimes I think my mum have issues and is using me as a punching bag. It's sad because I want to have a nice relationship with her before she grows too old and may have Alzheimer since it runs in the family, but as she grows older, she became more and more hurtful person. I just don't know how to handle this at all and I keep thinking about this one Oscar Wilde quote "Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them."
Fuck man, I don't want to resent my mum and end up regretting it when she dies.
No. 760510
>>760488Anon, I know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry your mother is making you feel lesser. My mum was the exact same to me. Middle child syndrome is very real and I despise any parent who neglects one child over another, it is so
abusive and childish for an adult to do.
>Sometimes I think my mum have issues and is using me as a punching bag.She is, she seems emotionally
abusive. Nothing you can or will do to please her will be good enough. Thats how these people work. An emotionally
abusive parent always picks the child with the most manipulative or "weakest" defence and breaks it down. They do this because they're deeply insecure in themselves and are taking out their own unresolved trauma on you.
I fixed my relationship with my mum by getting therapy for my trauma, confronting her about her behaviour (even though she's a narcissist and didn't really see why she was in the wrong, it was more for my self healing), forgetting the "good child" persona and being unapolagetically myself. I quit the high-paying job she wanted me to do and that I hated and went back and studied in a field I actually loved with the money from it. I made it known that her opinion means nothing to me and that I value my self worth, and that her reactions to things in my life are not of my concern. This removed her power over me. I now live far away from her and only talk every now and then, and if I visit it is never for long. We now have a really good relationship and I feel for once that she actually loves and cares without the spite.
I'm really sorry she's putting you through the works like this. Just remember healing can be possible if you want to pursue it. It is possible things will remain unresolved but that's not an emotional weight you should carry for the rest of your life. I believe in you, anon.
No. 760592
File: 1615655541626.png (838.07 KB, 800x777, 1601203103040.png)
I think someone took a creepshot of me tonight. I feel so fucking bad. I literally want to stop having a body, I was in a waiting room and this dude in a group of men kept staring at me in the most sleazy way and idk, maybe my brastrap or cleavage or something was showing and I think he took a picture because then he showed his phone to his equally sleazy looking friends and they were all laughing that greasy laugh and looking at me and I just want to die. I covered myself, I wasn't even wearing anything outrageous. I'm overreacting, maybe he showed a funny meme or something but fuck, I want to cry.
No. 760599
>>760552>Like you can only receive love from your parents if you perform the "good child" act and make them happy at your expense.Ouch, I feel this. Any time I did some hobby or activity that my mom didn’t like, she’d say I was like my
abusive dad and make some snide comment like “hope you’re at least a little different from him in other ways.” Sucks to hear that as a kid.
No. 760612
File: 1615657072589.gif (197.13 KB, 400x361, 1575786347822.gif)
Got bad news from my doctors and haven't been able to tell my mom, it's been 4 days of me just avoiding her and crying in my bedroom and she just came to my door to ask if something happened at the doctor. I can't tell her my body fucked up again, I don't know how to tell her, no one tells you what the fuck to say.
No. 760635
>>760363You can, and it's a hormonal one, Mirena
I'm on both because I have a hormone imbalance and my periods can last for months at a time, runs in my family
You don't have to have that though, they can put you on both for a lot of things, a partial list:
various hormone imbalances, excessive body hair, painful periods, long-lasting periods, sporadic periods, acne, ovarian cysts, family history of uterine/cervical/ovarian cancer
There's a lot of options, and honestly even if you don't have any of that, some doctors will still do it
Obviously it still hasn't stopped my psychotic fear, but it has eased it, I recommend it
Also I don't get acne anymore, so that's cool
No. 760654
>>760612What's wrong with you anon?
is it cancer?
No. 760675
>>760668Shit anon, good luck.
You should tell your mum about it.
No. 760730
>>760681Hope you didn't think I was brushing off your concerns. Vent away.
I had cervical cancer a few years back and didn't tell family. Probably never will. I saw how my relative get a whole lot of support during hers (twice over) but I still chose to just go missing for a while when I got my own diagnosis. I did phone calls but no in person meetings for a long time. I get the desire to hide it or just needing space to process it without wanting an overwhelming fuss on top of that.
Hope everything works out ok for you, it's draining enough even without having to disclose it and then update everyone along the way. If you live with family then it sucks to have that option of some privacy around it essentially taken away.
No. 760822
File: 1615675357869.jpeg (197.38 KB, 1000x769, sp004.jpeg)
I don't know how to move on from my ex. I feel like he's the only person who's ever really 'gotten' me. While we were together I always felt like we had a very deep connection but I didn't fully understand why, but looking back it's almost scary how similar we are. There's the good aspects like passions, career goals, humor. But there's also the really painful things. We both grew up in very abusive homes, in very similar conditions, both from father figures. He never mocked my daddy issues like my last ex did because he just got it. He understood me in a very delicate way and it was so validating, but also so unstable because neither of us had really even begun to process our respective abuse at that time. We both did a lot of bad things to each other that I think now really stemmed from that trauma. Nothing like physical or sexual abuse, but he shut down a lot and I would get really anxious and angry because of that. It's hard breaking those generational curses and while it doesn't excuse him always pushing me away I can't say I don't understand why. We were two very, very broken people trying to heal together.
I miss him but he's moved on. I want to move on but I feel like I can't. My last relationship I tried, and even felt like I had for awhile, but it didn't work and I broke up with him.
No. 760827
I think my friend(?) ghosted me,
Two days ago, I invited her via Snapchat to my sister’s sweet 16 party coming up in April and since she has a kid, I told her that it was also child-friendly as my niece, nephew and other kids will be there. I also told her that masks are optional as our state no longer deems it mandatory to wear.
I saw that she read the message but never replied back in the past few days. Usually whenever we talked, she would reply back but it’s been too days. A simple, “sorry, I can’t make it but have fun!” or “sorry dude, I have other things coming up” would have sufficed. Right now she posted a snap going to her friend’s kid’s birthday party (what I’m assuming because I’m not going to bother, since it’s always bday parties, girls night outs, dat nights with her fiancé - might not be invited to the wedding either and her daughter) and last time, she posted going to a bachelorette party in Austin
I’m not sure what happened, she hasn’t unfriended me from other platforms so far but I’m not sure about irl.
We were friends since high school btw
No. 760863
>>760836Nta but I had moment a couple years back (turning 30) where I realised my entire 20s was fairly miserable and that was while dating guys. I had for some reason clung to relationships no matter how miserable I actually was in them. I don't know what underlying issues I have that make me do that but I came to the conclusion that I'd be as happy to just stay single. I could get a bunch of therapy and try again but I don't want that. Too many men have their own mental health issues but will deny them so even if you fix yourself you're looking for an equally healthy guy who'll address his issues and work on himself rather than blaming you..
I had to waste ten years living with guys before I saw it that way though. Just living alone feels amazing after that much time. I do sometimes worry about what'll happen if I get sick later and have nobody but I'm not willing to give up my space or freedom now just because I worry about a potential issue in my old age. I haven't cried or raised my voice or been shouted at in years, that's heaven. That's the life I need.
No. 760891
File: 1615680483595.jpeg (132.77 KB, 750x541, 93B7D959-6035-4EC5-9DD5-1A3BCC…)
>>760877Absolutely vibe with this sentiment. I’m coming up on 4 years single, the last two of which have been celibate, and I’ve never been so emotionally stable. It’s glorious! Cheers to my fellow spinsters, we really have got this quality of life thing sussed.
No. 760893
>>760863>>760877>>760891I think I'm getting there too. I'm 30. I had a sex less engagement for about 3 years before finally terminating it, then had a sex full
abusive relationship. I'm coming up on a year single and I haven't hooked up with anyone yet and it's funny, I'm never sad sad now. I haven't had an embarrassing angry phone call all my neighbours can hear for a year now. My moods are stable. My weight is stable. I pay more attention to myself which has resulted in better overall health and appearance. It's crazy. A man is very detrimental to me. I have always dreamed of starting a family but I'm actually considering becoming a teacher to satiate my need to be maternal. It's odd. I use to be so relationship focused and be a hollow person, but now I focus on how to be a good a useful person outside of romance and my self esteem is so much better for it.
No. 760960
File: 1615687345071.jpg (13.72 KB, 720x379, 1580577292091.jpg)
From ages 5 to 20 I had to bring foo and drink into my room like I was prepping for a miniwar because my dad liked to drink and act insane so I didn't want to leave my room unless I absolutely had to. I am 26 years old and I still find myself doing that from time to time, even at my own house, also the thing where I don't blow my nose properly and loudly while crying or sick because that would make my dad lose his shit. I just now was crying in the bathroom, flushed and while the flushing made its sounds, I did my nose blowing so it would be drowned out. I hate this.
No. 761009
File: 1615691490223.jpeg (39.57 KB, 640x377, B68FEB2A-B10B-49C7-985B-4C96C8…)
I’m visiting my childhood home with my entire family, sister included, for the first time in years plus my sister’s baby and it has been so exhausting why are families always so……….
No. 761022
File: 1615692929196.jpg (42.59 KB, 500x380, Sf0lFe4UvOWfy-ptMsW0TGVvaktzT0…)
I hate living in Ontario, I feel like the entire province is rapidly going to shit. Especially the southern part. Still better than a lot of other places in the world I will concede though.
No. 761028
File: 1615693671796.jpg (41.43 KB, 600x450, 7f0.jpg)
>>761022I'll commiserate with you anon, it is shit. Incompetent provincial government and unaffordable cost of living. I wanna get out before Ford takes the next election.
No. 761036
File: 1615695984522.jpg (110.46 KB, 1088x688, DXuyEUSXUAA9ZyN.jpg)
>>761022Dudes I just wanna leave Alberta but preferably Canada in general.
Kenney is a shithead trying to cancel bigfoot for fuck sakes.
No. 761041
File: 1615697869647.png (472.59 KB, 702x386, 1608261532697.png)
>>761036True, he is a malicious little idiot. The praries got it bad rn. Where do you want to move to anon?
No. 761051
File: 1615698656979.jpg (24.47 KB, 500x313, d9640a3158e7c185c9341602e23a86…)
>>761041I want to move to the states where my bf lives.
No. 761060
>>761054Please be careful with your chompers in future anon you only have one set!
>>761057Reading the first sentence I was getting ready to suggest you might be on your period kek
No. 761105
File: 1615706520222.jpg (140.61 KB, 806x344, 1613987421520.jpg)
quitting antidepressants has made me completely unhinged while i try to learn how to self-regulate my own emotions again. i'm so tired, i cry at the drop of a hat, and i've literally done nothing of value around the house. also sex is freaking me out and physically difficult now that i'm off them and i don't know why.
bf is probably sick of my shit. i'm absolutely useless rn
No. 761107
File: 1615706711242.jpg (63.59 KB, 634x478, 74832076432046723.jpg)
Splurging on takeout and then having it be worse than what I could've made myself is so frustrating. It saved me the trouble of cooking sure but it tasted so bland and shitty I should've just made food myself. Stupid restaurant I hope COVID pushes you out of the biz, I'm not even a good cook and I can do better than that slop
No. 761124
>>761122Don't read it yet. Give it a couple of days unless things seriously depend on you reading that. I do that to my roommate all the time. If they do something shitty, I message them, and they respond like the next day, and then I give it a couple of days.
No one is waiting for you (no not even them), just give it some time.
No. 761155
File: 1615713865479.jpg (20.23 KB, 345x253, 1454448465925.jpg)
I'm so fucking tired of this whole trans debacle and how men tries to invade women's spaces. My friend occasionally shows me screenshots when she browses lesbian dating apps and there is a concerning amount of men there that calls themselves trans without not putting literally any effort except wearing a cheap skirt, not even shaving their beards at times, but there is absolutely no sign of said skirt or any implications of them identifying as anything but men (might not have come out yet, but considering how sexualized lesbians are the majority probably are just trying to fulfill their disgusting porn fantasy of "turning" them straight with their "girl dicks").
Hoping for detransitioning to become the new trend.
No. 761169
>>761151Sounds like you're trying to drive him to break up with you, sabotaging the relationship whether you consciously realise it or not.
Given how miserable you seem with him though.. you could always take initiative and just dump him.
Whoever pulls the
trigger, I hope you take a while out from dating and that future relationships are better for you. I stayed in some miserable relationships when I was younger and looking back I wasted years where I would've been a thousand times happier single. Take a long break from dating while your head is this messed up.
No. 761238
File: 1615723867491.jpeg (58.74 KB, 443x512, 178A0F0A-9566-43D6-A644-1C76E1…)
>tell him i love him
>he starts making fun of me for it and doesn't say it back
No. 761242
File: 1615724557556.jpeg (127.69 KB, 563x566, A14567D1-B9D0-4FCB-93A3-AEC372…)
I want art friends so bad but I’m an spastic autistic and every artist I know is wayyy younger than me and I can’t really relate to them or talk with them like I would do with a person nearer my age group. I don’t even care about skill or style at all, I just want people to talk to about my hobby who’s not a stuck up bitch or a zoomer child
No. 761283
File: 1615732004488.gif (Spoiler Image,1.55 MB, 320x180, 7A9057EA-B459-42B2-AB0E-A6A13F…)
Fucking migraine since Wednesday. It's so painful, no pain killer is helping me, I'm this close to popping random pills for pain relief. I can't take off since I have two stupid appointments this week and I took off for those.
Please help me before I die.
No. 761338
File: 1615738880192.gif (7.93 MB, 517x291, 1_MSNMYiekE4NMohFWM2VwDg.gif)
This is gonna sound silly and maybe a touch pathological but I wish I felt love the way I did in high school, where it made my face warm and my chest hurt and I couldn't think of anything but them. Nowadays dating just feels like "you seem like a decent person with a steady job so let's talk for a bit". Yeah I know a lot of it is the people I choose or the places I hang out at but damn I saw the same 50 people every day for 4 years back then and like 3 of them made my heart explode, why is it so different now
No. 761371
>>755729my relationship with my mom has been rocky for a decade now and recently, she had a major health emergency that became a big shitty issue I had to deal with. the injury was 100% caused by her own behavior, which she ghosted me to hide from me after i tried to stop her. i got her from the hospital into rehab and she hasn't called or messaged me once in two months to apologize for how she was acting before this happened or for thrusting this emergency on me or for fighting me trying to get her to stay in medical care because she can't even walk. i woke up from a nightmare about her driving us both off a cliff to see that she's been active on facebook messenger recently, again talking to everyone except me. she was the one insistent about repairing our relationship after i estranged myself from my
abusive father and almost her for wittingly knowing he was abusing me but refusing to stop it because it would cause drama for her. now she caused all this drama for me and can't even be enough of an adult to extend the olive branch.
No. 761401
File: 1615745435800.jpeg (162.72 KB, 720x960, B51154E3-7121-476A-9162-5B0E7E…)
>>761369Pls no
nonnie can’t you reach out to anyone or call someone? We want u to be ok
No. 761402
The fact that I'm no longer in contact with the person who used to give me anxiety whenever I was around her, made me feel terrible and cry whenever I didn't live up to her expectations, stressed me to the point of hives, and poisoned me with her self-destructive and toxic values should be enough for people to accept that I don't want a relationship with her. I shouldn't have to re-traumatize myself by having to recall every nasty thing she did and said in order to justify my decision. I'm tired of defending, arguing, rationalizing, and explaining. And what did I even get after I would? Denial of my perspective and more infantilization while my boundaries got stomped on. These people just want her to be able to do whatever they want to me without my resistance. I'm done. We weren't ever close. Her hugging me in front of people or only after her horrific fights with me used to piss me off because she was never actually affectionate or nurturing as a default. She was a cold bitch to me at home. Or if she hadn't used me as an emotional rag whenever her relationships with her shitty men didn't work out. Her ever having bought me things or supported me was the bare minimum of what she was expected to do, and anything extra was just to add to her good image to outsiders and otherwise leverage used to manipulate me into doing what she wanted me to do for later. She'd rile me up behind closed doors in her fits of rage and hysterics, but later when I'd retaliate when she had an audience to witness how bad I acted 'unprovoked,' she was calm and smug. She's a snake and worse than an actual enemy, this is someone who was supposed to love me and accept me. I hate her. I refuse to believe that I wouldn't love someone genuinely nice, kind, and generous to me if that's how they consistently treated me. There are people like that who I have in my life right now, I don't hate them–that isn't some strange coincidence. Worst of all, her religious looney-ism has got her convinced that she's automatically in the right and I'm in the wrong. Cause the BYBOL says that children must honor their parents no matter what and not doing so is punishable and even justified with murder. Not that it should be questioned if the parents have ever committed shitty acts that in their children's eyes merit dishonor.
>But anon she had a hard life!
She really fucking didn't though?
She grew up in a middle class home with two married parents who stayed in the same area until she was old enough to move out.
I had none of those things.
She was popular and liked in her community, and even won things like prom queen and was a cheerleader because she didn't have crippling issues from her non-shit childhood.
I didn't have that.
Okay, she was molested by a music teacher.
I was molested by a babysitter and chronically exposed to sex by my bio dad and groomed by older men.
Okay, her parents were sexist and racist.
She wasn't better to me for it, she retained those ideals and worse.
The WORST she's done is get repeatedly hitched to shitty men which is her own god damn fault. She had no problem with throwing me to her wolf ex husband so long as he kept paying her child support and taking me for weekends until he became unignorably abusive to me. So fuck her and this fucking sob story narrative that surrounds her. Wish I had siblings to whiteknight my actions but I fucking don't because this bitch obviously never wanted or was prepared for an only child let alone more than me.
No. 761404
File: 1615745986529.jpeg (452.3 KB, 750x918, 0ED21A1D-66A3-48D3-AC29-88BF1F…)
life is so exhausting. relationships? trying to maintain them? trying to gain work? trying to survive? trying to seem normal? how can anyone do this? life is the opposite of a gift, it’s absolute devilish torture. ive heard a theory that this world was not created by god but by some evil spirit called demiurge and I entirely believe it, this world is painful and I want to be released from my body
No. 761478
>>761468you sound like you're dating my ex.
anyway, he said it himself: he's not looking for a serious relationship. he doesn't love you, he likes having sex with you. he doesn't even like being affectionate with you, which is a clear sign.
i know you're not going to dump him because i also made excuses for everything my ex did, but just know the longer this continues, the more time you will waste and he will eventually either dump you himself or cheat on you and then dump you when you find out. he's just going with the flow because it's free sex. you can do better anon.
No. 761506
>>761503Send him videos of it being done right and tell him to replicate. Tell him to mock it and that it's what you like. I've done it plenty of times and he always follows through.
You've gotta be honest otherwise it'll screw with you and you'll find more reasons to not date him.
No. 761513
>>761503 >also does the same robotic tongue lickingAlot of them do this shit. I remember I used to have a book I would loan out to men to read. A whole book on how to do it right…because god knows my instuctions never got followed well.
The book was written by a man with long term premature ejeculation issues. He was really passionate about eating pussy to make up for that shortcoming, good for him lol
No. 761528
>>761516I second this!
Also the omg yes videos may be helpful (torrent them if you don't want to pay) but I haven't watched them yet so idk
No. 761582
File: 1615766171423.jpg (33.08 KB, 464x464, 1615615356699.jpg)
>be 23 year old friendless loser living in mom's basement
>decide to fix my life
>move to uni
>my normie roommate immediately gets covid
>mandatory quarantine in a tiny dorm room for 2 weeks
it's like I never left home. I'm so fucking depressed it's not even funny
No. 761644
File: 1615772181847.gif (260.18 KB, 220x165, CB73513B-EDB9-4069-B5DB-AA96E4…)
>powerpoint for class due tomorrow morning
>it’s almost finished but also far from being finished and finalized
>google search methods of suicide
bye anons
No. 761657
File: 1615775088109.jpg (45.62 KB, 540x360, tumblr_d995896d09e5113cf1c22c9…)
my bf added me to his phone plan, went to look at studios apartments with me, offering to help me redo the interiors and shit… and then tried dumping me over text two days later. why? because he is having mental health issues and felt like he needed more space, but decided if he said he needed more alone time I would dump him.
i literally NEVER understand how women are labeled as being emotional and irrational. THIS is one of the most rational men i know and he will tell me he feels numb and like he is "missing feelings" while literally crying.
and no I didn't cut contact, I don't know whats going on with us now but i'm on my period and I'm moving and I don't want to deal with it. I don't mind giving someone space when they COMMUNICATE IT IS WHAT THEY NEED (At least not in cases like this, where its not a "i want to fuck other people" type of space) we have given each other plenty of space in the past and it was fine. I have been slipping back into being co-dependent and my mental health has just been really bad recently because over the summer my grandparents left me at alone for months with my mother while she was in the middle of a psychotic break and I ended up having to call the police on her after she threatened me with a knife multiple times and then started nailing the door shut so I couldn't get into my house, which dredged up a whole bunch of other shit from my awful childhood. that's not an excuse for using another person as a crutch, especially since he has been having a shitty fucking time too, but… if he had said something I was/am still well enough to be more mindful and we would have been a lot better off. So fucking stupid, I wish I could just date a clone of myself instead of having to try to connect with other people.
but… i finally get to move out of this house full of insane people, I have a job that I like, and i am going to go to therapy so i can get fit and enjoy my hobbies again. he can be a part of that if he wants, or not.
No. 761658
File: 1615775756068.jpeg (125.85 KB, 749x924, C7FD8D62-2760-46BD-9813-9F7920…)
How can you be so scared of life?? I’m only scared of death honestly, and I want to experience what it feels like
To be placed on earth where you came from nothingness and into something that you slowly experience and then possibly will experience something you aren’t prepared for
I just want to peacefully rest, I’m so tired of this world. I’m so tired of getting up and hoping things will change when they won’t. I want to kill myself and I’m not going to fucking “censor” it because it makes you fucks uncomfortable and angry that someone doesn’t want to live anymore. If you’re mad about suicide then fuck off. I don’t know any to live anymore and I’m only 18 and I felt like I lived through 50 years of my life and I’m trapped in a young female adult’s body and I want to finally get out of it. I want to die peacefully and yet I’m too cowardly to do it painfully where I’ll die slowly or unfortunately survive because not many people know how to correctly kill themselves. Don’t moralfag (or snitch) please give me some viable methods if you can. What is a peaceful way to die and how to get rid of death anxiety
No. 761666
File: 1615776887236.jpeg (141.79 KB, 640x862, 68FF941F-AABB-4570-BFB7-7D1CB7…)
>>761658You’re just 18 years old, anon.
No. 761669
Goddamn female socialization sucks. I'm old enough to know better, yet still feel that need to be overly nice and accommodating to people, usually men. If I want to tell them to fuck off, I get worried they might try to make my life annoying at best, hell at worst.
>>761321same
No. 761670
File: 1615777609836.jpeg (72.37 KB, 500x375, 9A171351-8461-495E-8F09-FF25B7…)
My Mom and I left more like forced my abducted Father a few months ago and I’m in such a complex state of emotions. In a lot of ways I feel exponentially better but in a lot of other ways the past two decades of denying the abuse are suddenly coming at me full force. I’m trying to process 25 years of trauma all at once. I got a new job that’s really great for me career-wise too, but it’s been so busy and stressful as hell. My dumbass also wanted to take an online course to keep myself busy but now the class is almost over and I haven’t turned in half the assignments. I feel like a failure and like I’ve bitten off way more than I can chew. I’ve also learned that I really, actually don’t like doing what I thought I wanted to do and now trying to push through the homework, with everything else going on, is just painful.
I just want to draw for fun and heal right now I can’t handle all this change.
No. 761676
>>761658>i'm only 18yeah anon, we can tell by the way you write.
for real though, if you wanna rid yourself of death anxiety (without killing yourself of course) go watch Ask A Mortician, she's a youtuber who's also a mortician (duh) in her real life and she heavily promotes "death positivity" aka desensationalizing death and related topics and encouraging rational, proof-based discussion on death and dying. i shill her a lot bc i love her work and she's given me a different, better outlook on death.
No. 761685
File: 1615779788431.jpeg (103.17 KB, 650x479, 1977173f31a630bac9b406e39b8509…)
I don't want to post this in the actual art salt thread and derail, but I really hope whatever coomer scrote that keeps posting vent art by female artists with comments like "What about this? What do you think of this? Thoughts? How can you defend this?" and insinuating it's the same as the lolicon shit he's also been dumping and most likely jerks off to (which was drawn by an actual pedophile who thirsts on real kids) dies.
Fuck off. Trauma art is not equivalent to porn just because you have the mind of a brainrotted porn-addicted nonce. Tama will never be anything like Shadman or the retarded Spanish faggot. You are a coomer, so you'll never understand. I bet next, that poster's going to whinge and imply it's "female privilege" that no one with a brain sees pic related and thinks it's fap material. I swear it's the exact same faggot from Racist Uncle's Discord who posted his own ugly-ass art trying to "troll" again. Why can't these be the people who die of COVID?
I don't even know why I'm so irritated about this, but I am. Why do 99% of males even think their opinions on anything are valid? Their brains are too empty, all they can do is repeat the same shit like bots. Ejaculators die and take your myopic, porn-coated gaze out of art created by women challenge.
No. 761690
File: 1615780937505.jpg (646.56 KB, 1080x2086, IMG_20210315_050003.jpg)
god I wish I could kill all the pedos on 4chan. Those men live among you and they work with your kids.
No. 761697
Do you think that if you keep postponing something and not really doing it it means you don't want it? I thought it was just my depression but I realized I genuinely don't want to do certain things even if I can. So how can you tell the difference between depression and normal lack of interest?
>>761690This shit makes me homicidal
No. 761700
File: 1615781610207.jpg (130.91 KB, 595x458, happy_baptism.jpg)
>>761685tama is a fucking saint
No. 761702
File: 1615781859315.jpg (886.53 KB, 1610x674, 5345346366366.jpg)
>>761690How do you cope with that?
No. 761711
File: 1615783031344.jpeg (51.54 KB, 400x563, tumblr_mwhboy5OqI1qfo5fco1_400…)
>>761700Based anon
>>761706Alke A/Alkemanubis, aka Lucas Bustos, posted in
>>760981 and
>>760914. He also uses photos of real children for his "art".
No. 761715
>>761702>>761690So, if this is the nature of men, how the fuck are we supposed to raise children? How is any society meant to function with this many pedophiles running around? And since we already know males are the rape ape demographic, no one better try to hide behind any "non-offending" shit.
Normal people keep insisting sex segregation is not the answer, but it's looking like it's either that, or men need to have their rights severely clamped down on. Like, it's too much.
>>761703I actually think we should be glad they're the main proponents of free speech. Let's hope they all expose themselves so we know exactly who to castrate or euthanize (in Minecraft, jannie pls no ban) when the time (hopefully) comes.
No. 761732
I met my boyfriend a few months before covid happened. We want to be engaged this year but I'm disappointed that where I'd ideally like him to propose is mostly shut down because of the virus. The place I had in mind was this cute, cobblestone market street which is in vicinity to where we had our first date and across the street from the park where we had our first kiss. It's gorgeous lit up at night, imo. The actual restaurants on the street are romantic and good but they're only doing food takeouts right now even though the city is permitting dine-ins again. We could have a romantic dinner elsewhere and then hustle to the street, but it would feel less authentic and kinda forced.
I did mention in passing a famous mansion that I like but the thing is that EVERYONE gets their proposals and weddings done there. Even though I love the history, it's basically a "Wooooo rich people lived here!!!" type of atmosphere, which isn't really 'us' at all. Oh, and he's low on funds because of the engagement ring. So we'd be driving 3+ hours to that venue just for him to knee drop, wheedle around the boujee property for a bit, and then leave. His driving stresses me out and the last time we did a day trip like this, was an unenjoyable cluster fuck for me and I did not enjoy his clumsy driving. We wouldn't be able to stay at any of the nearby $$$ suites, we'd have to find some cheap hotel if we wanted to stay in the area. What fun is that really? I'd suggest he book a unique airbnb at least but I don't think he's that kind of abstractly motivated.
It really sucks, covid ruined so many cool opportunities.
No. 761748
File: 1615789703824.jpeg (75.4 KB, 594x592, D8EE3FA0-B7BF-4F9C-A72E-2D2A1D…)
I hate my wide hips and weird shaped thighs. I'm a little skinnyfat and it hurts a lot when people use that word here, pls no bully. Idk I thought it wasn't that bad because sometimes there's anachans but… My thighs/ass do be wider and meatier than I wish. Some of it's BDD though cause I feel self-conscious to extremes. Anyway, I'm trying to eat a little less but I already skip meals sometimes and I feel sick or get migraines when I don't eat enough. So it's a really hard balance. I'm not fat but I could also use some exercise, it just intimidated me and been struggling with depression. Excuse after excuse I guess, but it sucks when you didn't think you looked that bad only to suddenly read this board and it lands like a bag of bricks. I'm worried my hips won't even be fixable because I can feel the bones there are naturally wider, and if I workout then it might become more pronounced. Took me long enough to accept having (small) tits when I didn't want any at all out of embarrassment. It feels like an "extra" part that people notice. I think this might be another part of that. If I had a bubble butt like is popular I'd be trying to hide it and feeling gross. Fuckin rip
No. 761753
>>761721My ex used to do stuff to me while I slept. I am an extremely light sleeper. He was porn/sex addicted and he would jerk it while I was sleeping and sometimes ejaculate on my back. I would pretend to be asleep so I didn’t have to engage with him. Shit was awful. I feel for you.
They think because you share a bed then it’s ok to do things without your consent. I should have probably said something but it was just easier to pretend I was asleep so I didn’t piss him off.
No. 761769
File: 1615792193086.jpg (605.78 KB, 456x628, 1402411031751.jpg)
It's past 1am, I feel ugly, I'm tempted to book a consult again for a face lift and fat graft for my saggy-ass face but don't want to punk out again, and I'm tempted to shill out for a stupid-ass fitness trainer when I already have a fitness book and am too stupid and lazy to read it for the 50th time and still be clueless about where and how to start… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No. 761786
File: 1615796586294.png (206.63 KB, 640x335, 7xshqnzscle51.png)
god really gave me a big nose, strong jaw, broad shoulders, AND a wide waist? Couldn't give me one feminine feature you big fuck?? Shoulda given me huge hands while you were at it fuckin prick.
No. 761789
File: 1615796903801.png (2.12 MB, 1590x890, YouLookCuteHereAnon.png)
>>761786This you standing next to your besties?
No. 761804
>>761801>>761803Your boobs are big, they are
There's nothing wrong with your body
I don't know how to help you, fuck scrotes I wish there was a way for you to heal
No. 761805
>>760410I know I'm late
nonnie but this hit so close to home. When I was your age I had the exact same thoughts and finally "settled" with a man I didn't love and suffered for 2 years. Luckily never had kids with him or it would be over. 2 years later noped the fuck out but I still wasn't happy. Then last year I decided to embrace my inner teen while still keeping my job and responsibilities and went out of my way to socialize and discover new things. I am 30 now and I think I'm at the highest point of my life. Hobbies I genuinely enjoy, comfy home parties, friends who appreciate me and financial stability without having to work my ass out. In my free time I dress like a y2k raver and no one bats an eye.
So don't lose hope. Being 30 is not turning into an old hag with 5 kids hanging by her neck, you just need to find what you really want. Wanna dress like an e-girl? Do it. Want to make stupid tiktoks? Bitch no one can judge it. Be who you know you are, not what this numb society expects.
No. 761814
>>761813Fuck them, block them, get better friends!!!!!!
If you need to set a tinder profile for friendships! But fuck those people
No. 761966
My job is driving me fucking crazy.
I'm basically juggling three different kinds of roles in the office. It makes me the fallguy for employee trainings, each department's tool scheduling, and
the electronic and physical copies of companywide documents. But I have other duties which include whatever the fuck some employee requests of me.
It's not stressful in theory, but I'm four months into this job and everyone treats me like I'm an ass because shit that they've neglected for over a year and between a move hasn't been automatically fixed since I showed up. I've had to clean up messes from at least two prior people who tried to fill this role (I'm starting to see why they bailed–I might too if not for the free healthcare) and my manager's golden child employee who was supposed to have been filling this role until I came along. Yet she also neglected it because she got promoted. Whenever I try to ask questions related to this role which would take 10 seconds max, she gets a look like I'm being such a pest and got to the point where she politely said she can't be assed helping me. Can't say shit about the manager's favorite, though. Manager is never at the office and uses covid as the excuse to wfh all but a day or two out of the month so it's not like she's been here to see how bad her favorite let things get. I'm meant to take my questions to manager (as I was encouraged to do) but whenever I type to her my questions she acts like she only read the first sentence, takes me for an idiot, and answers in a basic way that doesn't answer my question.
Well, we're about to have a major audit so I'm expected to quickly try to clean up all the messes, but we're talking about tens of thousands of actions and document catch-ups. And what drives me crazy is that I could be solving tens to hundreds of problems a day but if ONE thing goes wrong, I'm treated with annoyance and the tone is that I'm an imbecile. Since the company is so new we don't have our own electronic systems, so we're stuck using Google Drive for everything. Things like Excel frequently fuck up. I've been accused of not documenting training because the file didn't save, for instance, but clearly I had processed it because the physical copy was in the employee's binder. Or I've been peeved at because the Google Drive lagged and showed I was still in a file when minutes prior I had closed it out, then manager was pissed because she logged into it and thought I was overwriting her work when the file had been closed for awhile on my end.
Employees also like to play a game called 'lose the document and blame me': A few weeks ago they had a video group training and they all needed to sign off on a piece of paper and send it in to me. Naturally they splintered off and I had multiple people turning in their individual signatures for the group page (we're talking 40+ employees) so I made a master list of every employee in the meeting and checked off their name when I got their signature. Obviously people had to be reminded. So I sent out emails and one of the VPs copped an attitude with me whining that he already signed it and reluctantly sent me another. Turns out he signed a physical copy with a few others but the last employee never turned in that copy and had kept it so I never got it to check off the names. How the fuck was I supposed to know? The VP ribbed me in the office later saying "Looks like anon found her document!" as if it were somehow my fault. But this is another honcho already peeved with me because I had the audacity to ask for his signature for the equipment purchase orders when I was supposed to have known to go to someone else for purchase order signatures despite no one giving me a solid point of contact. Aren't I just a dumb dumb?
No. 762018
>>761966>whenever I type to her my questions she acts like she only read the first sentence, takes me for an idiot, and answers in a basic way that doesn't answer my question.lmao I just started having to communicate with a couple people at a bigger company mine is contracting with, and they are both exactly like this. Also only like 50% off emails get a response at all. It doesnt seem malevolent, just idk they cant be assed to read more than 10 words a week I guess. Maybe they're really really busy. idk.
Also doesnt google drive work just fine with multiple people working on a document lol?? Like unless you're literally deleting each other input it's fine for both people to have it open. Its not like having a single word doc open in two places where saving one overwrites the other. googdocs auto saves every like 5 seconds and updates both people's open docs with both their changes so its fine. Not much point in bringing it up though cause I feel like it wouldve just slid right off this person.
No. 762019
File: 1615825323896.jpeg (Spoiler Image,26.37 KB, 474x474, 197E2689-3C92-487A-90FF-537C61…)
>Confused about sexuality
>Think that I'm straight this whole time
>Dreamt that I was kissing a girl and I really enjoyed it
>wake up
>even more confused
No. 762052
>>757110Those British people are the equivalent of American people who think nobody outside of the US should get to say anything bag about Trump. I've never even heard a British person say that but I assure you, they don't speak for all of us.
The monarchy are a relic of our colonialist past, they need to go.
No. 762082
>>762052im american but I think one benefit of your royals is that people dont revere your prime ministers the way americans revere presidents from their side. Like, separating the national figurehead role from the more down n dirty political role could be a good thing. But the royals do have an inordinate amount of money/property to be sure…and should try to be less racist although I doubt they're really worse than the average old white person.
Weird idea but I've always wondered why the British royals never tried to marry with Indian royal families when they were trying to keep India british. Might not have done much but you'd think they would have tried? Probably they were too racist to do that I guess.
No. 762083
>>762077My heart goes out to you. My best friend has a similar relationship dynamic with her estranged brother. He always paints her out to be the source of all the issues, when in reality she was forced to cut him out because he's a
toxic barrel of waste, who rewrites history to make himself into a
victim and causes serious problems for people to fuel his drama addiction.
No. 762095
>>762076almost all tattoos are lame so who cares. but if a biohazard tattoo means you have hiv/aids then shouldn't you like not get that just because in a medical situation you wouldn't want people to be worried you had HIV? Like if you were in a car crash and bleeding and the EMS thought you had HIV that would be bad. Not that likely obviously but why get that specific tattoo…
imo the only cool tattoos are stick n pokes, i never understood why people want some random tattoo shop person to stencil some design onto them quick n cheap when it's going to be there for life. Both my sisters have cheap basic tattoos and I die a little every time…at least pay some artist to make a custom design before you get that shit stabbed into your thigh lol I really dont get it.
No. 762103
File: 1615831773812.jpg (44.96 KB, 600x576, 1615510127806.jpg)
I feel ugly and retarded I posted my pic in selfie thread and it got much less attention/likes than other people around the same time. I don't have social media and rarely take pics but I said fuck it and posted. I should just put a bag on my head and call it quits
No. 762118
>>762107thanks, I just kinda stopped posting and realized browsing was not doing anything good for me so I deleted cold turkey, the people who I give a shit about I have their phone numbers and call them. I feel like a boomer sometimes but it's a lot less comparison to others which is good for me. I would recommend it
>>762110Agree the users can be pretty annoying, they PL way too often and write paragraphs doing armchair psychology. It's not funny, I just go there to laugh at cows I don't want to read an essay lol
No. 762135
File: 1615835644736.png (13.57 KB, 500x330, 4d4848fb-ecc8-4a7c-883e-37abe7…)
I messeged this woman about her fiance (my friend) cheating and using her pics to bait me (>>>/g/174769) … and I'm fucking scared of the possible backlash. I kind of have stockholm syndrome with my friend, him just getting mad makes me feel beyond shitty and idk. We don't even live in the same town anymore.
It's been 5 hours and I sent her a friend request and a message, no reply yet. If he tells him I messaged her he might make up some shit to defend himself. Idk if I made a mistake or what but at 25 I feel too old for this shit.
No. 762157
File: 1615838381874.jpg (82.28 KB, 750x744, 747d316234b44bb5e0f20dcf452d75…)
i found out some of my close friends talked behind my back while i'm going through my own personal problems. this has happened all my life and i'm so fucking done, how the hell do i even make cool new friends who share similar interests as me and who aren't extremely childish? it's just so tiring to become friends with people just to find out they have no life but to tell others about your own problems, make fun of you, and befriend people who don't like you. i'm so sorry that i'm fucking retarded and am going through a ton of life problems with my family and mental health. at least i'm getting a job, can drive, and am paying my own bills unlike my "friends" who have received so much from me and do nothing but sit their asses at home and get pampered at their grown age. i literally apologize for things they do because i'm terrified of being alone! god damn it.
No. 762159
File: 1615838615328.jpg (18.69 KB, 320x240, Shinji_Ikari_crying_in_chair_N…)
I regret letting him take my photos, I hate being in the male gaze. why why why
No. 762166
>>762135I remember your story
nonny! I know you were put in a really painful and uncomfortable position. What he did was so incredibly shitty. I think you're strong for following up with his fiance though, and I hope you're able to get in touch with her. You're really doing her a kindness.
No. 762183
>>762157I'll give you some advice that has helped me: don't make childish friends, from the start
I'm a bit slow and believe a lot in people, so I always tend to ignore the redflags, BUT they're there for sure. Do they love to gossip? do they trash other people specially their friends in front of you? do they have childish immature things about themselves, like stuff they do or things they say/joke about? do they have childish hobbies ONLY? what's their opinion on life, what do they think about trash talking others? Is there something "off" about them? Like, do you feel an "off" vibe, or like they're hiding something, or like they're not true to themselves, or like they're trying to seem like a good person but they aren't?
No. 762197
File: 1615841696243.jpeg (99.04 KB, 620x758, 1615821681486.jpeg)
I fucking hate this dude
No. 762213
File: 1615842775451.jpeg (52.41 KB, 295x399, BE6390E6-76B6-4A1B-8651-DEBA11…)
>>755729I just went down to make dinner and my mum shouted at me for being drunk. I’m 25. Fuck this gay earth. If I can’t drink a bottle of wine to myself in 2 hrs then I don’t want to live.
No. 762214
>>762197It's just a stupid troll. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you riled up like this. Enjoy your day, sweet anon.
I almost feel like it should be a board rule to not vent about those scrote posts (except for complaining about moderation issues on /meta/ or wherever) because it's giving those dickholes exactly what they want. I know it would be kinda revictimizing to forbid anons expressing their emotions, though…
No. 762219
File: 1615843298736.jpeg (74.75 KB, 749x505, 3ED064E6-14F6-449C-9E85-482F55…)
I want to drink myself to death
No. 762221
File: 1615843394987.gif (1.8 MB, 500x289, 270F5D50-C085-4B85-99E2-09E18B…)
>>762216Say that to my fuckin face
No. 762225
File: 1615843886616.jpeg (11.84 KB, 300x168, D492F569-2DB4-41F4-B069-2D06CD…)
>>762221Get your shit together, it’s motherfucking Monday.
No. 762258
>Be extremely depressed, drop out of university
>Living in my room
>Posting on wizchan in 2014
>Get on venlafaxine
>Get qualified in different fields, start working on oil and gas sites making big money
>Own a house
>Have lots of friends
>Even go out on dates
>2017
>Complete normie, everyone loves me
Then
>late 2017
>Want to join the police force
>drop the venlafaxine so I can get through med-free, also was paranoid about long term damage
>Life falls apart
>Depression comes back
>Go through 4 jobs a year
>Lie, scam the government, scam welfare, do everything I can to keep the boat floating
>three years have gone by
>No friends anymore
>Half my family have cut me off for being unstable
>Suicidal multiple times a year
>Try to go back on venlafaxine, doesn't work anymore
>Everyone pushing me to take antipsychotics that literally eat away my brain and make me feel worse
>end up in the mental ward 4 times in two years, each time I go they give me a more horrific cocktail antipsychotic drugs that take time to ween off
>Try to talk to family about how I can't afford to finance my house anymore, how despite all my hustling and scams I'm going back $200 a week and getting into debt
>"NOOOOOO anon, you just need to find a job you like" :)
>"You can't sell your house, you're making X in capital gains every year."
>Family won't let me live with them (I am unstable so this part is perhaps fair enough)
>They're treating me like I'm playing up my sickness and lying
I've tasted the highs and I've tasted the lows, why can't they see that I'm genuinely sick? I literally drag myself out of my depression, get a bullshit job, get praised for my hardwork and dedication, hit a depressive episode, get fired and have to start again. I've exploited welfare like nobody will ever believe, I've sucked up as much as I can from the foodbanks and become an expert shoplifter for groceries.
I literally haven't brought a single thing for myself that wasn't food or alcohol related in two years, I've become known as that person that lies about their mental health to get a job and then sets the company up, so now I'll never again have a job that's not a bullshit labour job. My old work associates from the oil and gas site want me to come back, but I don't have the heart to tell them how I am now.
I just need a little bit of help sorting out the house, packing up my life and getting a small apartment I can finance on welfare. But I try to talk to the old man about it and he just comes at me about how I'll be horrifically bullied and picked on, how I'll be living with meth head nutters and every day I'll sleep scared and miserable and life won't be worth living. I don't know why he fearmongers about this when I know several NEETs in apartments and they're left alone and I don't do drugs so I don't associate with that shit.
No. 762263
>>762258>>237684I try to talk to my mum about it and she just believes I'm a liar and I'm playing it up. She doesn't give a fuck that I'm suffering, she just wants me to have a good job so she can brag about me doing well like I was. She doesn't want anyone to know her kid is a now a failure NEET.
Ironically, she lived on welfare for over 20 years, paying off a mortgage herself with the welfare money and living a life more comfortable than working class people because this clown of a country pays single mothers on welfarebuxx absurdly high. I remember her sitting on the couch watching Oprah every day for over a decade, living the most comfortable easy life I can imagine. And she berates me for being sick and wanting to live off $280 a week like I'm reprehensible loser. I'm not going to be a NEET and just roll over, I'll try to get on that "work from home" hustle so nobody can see me cry and be suicidal. I'll always be doing something.
I will literally live a better life on NEETbux than I'm living. Yes, I'm glad I managed to make $200,000 on my house (which I will reinvest into something and not touch) but fuck man I hate this shit.
No. 762272
>>762082>why the British royals never tried to marry with Indian royal familiesI had never even considered that but like you said they must be too racist for it, maybe they also fear the risk of giving Indian royalty a path to power through the same maneuver? World history would be so much more interesting if there was less incest and racism from ruling families, just imagine the cultural exchange!
Btw even though it's culturally normal to look down on our PMs some old English protestants still see the Queen as chosen by God with the divine right to rule unfortunately, in the same way some American trumptards think god is on his side.
No. 762278
>>762272>>762082The Royal family itself probably isn't racist, they were germans at a time when anti-german sentiment was at an all time high, and have often been at odds with the ethno-nationalists on the home isles. The republicans were typically the more racist of the bunch, coming down harder on the Irish.
You would risk a situation like with the Stuart dynasty and Scotland, where the king of a smaller country inherited the throne of a larger one, but the smaller country itself was sucked into the larger one as a result. A half Indian king/queen might've made the move to move the court to the subcontinent, something conceivable when the home isles were under threat like during the world wars. From there it would be less India in England's sphere and more England in India's sphere, especially if India managed to industrialize and develop.
No. 762281
File: 1615849161087.jpg (4.86 KB, 276x183, images.jpg)
>>762278>The Royal family itself probably isn't racist, they were germans ah yes you can't be racist when you're german
No. 762323
File: 1615854205039.jpg (70.26 KB, 640x624, IMG_20210313_172140_017.jpg)
fuck compulsive thoughts
fuck this useless overthinking
fuck this ptsd
fuck this
fuck
f
No. 762342
>>762335>i have never wanted to be one of those women that "withheld sex"God, the entire concept of 'withholding sex' is misogynistic, rapey nonsense. Men will baww about how
abusive and mean it is but all they care about is getting their nut. 99% of the time it's being ~withheld~ because the guy is such a shit that the woman has lost attraction to him.
You have the right to not fuck someone for any reason at all, even to be petty, even to punish someone, it literally does not matter beyond the fact that you do not want have sex with them. And you have the right to never, ever feel guilty about it. End of story.
No. 762347
File: 1615856598793.jpg (69.7 KB, 1080x705, de6nwsq-d5dbebbd-96b0-425f-84d…)
>>761635what a retarded take
nonny No. 762372
File: 1615858515417.jpg (28.76 KB, 492x330, 1579433886087.jpg)
I want to scream if I think too long about the fact that when I was 10 years old, in massive period pains, fainting, puking…boys were just playing and being kids? How the fuck is that fair, what the fuck, think about how long they can go on without any actual responsibilities.
No. 762378
File: 1615859029699.jpeg (295.37 KB, 750x517, 2E295B99-7352-48F3-B044-E5C6FF…)
>>762369Doubleposting to say that I've found the solution.
No. 762394
>>761685and there's
still anons in that thread defending the actual pedo's art
No. 762412
File: 1615863268763.gif (2.57 MB, 540x280, 4ED4DB32-B577-40BE-828D-84BEFA…)
You will never understand what it feels like to be ugly, unwanted, unloved, to sit in your bed bottling everything up and want to explode but nothing will come out. Ikr going to keep ignoring and feeling the intense pain of being alone, I’m alone in this world. I don’t have dumb fucking irrelevant boyfriend issues, I’m so tired of everything, other women, other people, it’s like the world has taken a host into my body and it’s tearing me apart. I want to destroy my appearance and I don’t even try to because what’s the point? I’ll never be pretty or included in anything, I’m a fucking outcast and always be until I’m finally dead. This world wants to tear you up on the inside until nothing inside of you remains, you will be spiritually dead and no one will believe you and no one will care. Life is truly over. I’m so fucking tired
No. 762454
File: 1615867736716.jpg (52.65 KB, 772x960, 5465434684.jpg)
>>762286Oh god anon that gave me chills. Fuck this ruins my hope for humanity and desire to ever date. I'm furious for you, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
No. 762475
I’m starting to feel like I peaked at 18/19, those were the best years of my life. I just felt so free, like the world was my oyster, I had so many friends and had a really hot boyfriend who was my first and only love. I had my own apartment, I was going to university, I just had so much fun. I felt like I could do anything. I’m 25 now, and so much shit has happened since then. I’m completely demoralized, like a shell of my former self. Ive gained weight, I’m depressed, my best friend killed herself, I’m so alone. Among other things. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life, I’ve been chronically unemployed going from gig to gig for three years now. I just feel like everything is getting worse. I’m trying so hard to keep afloat, I exercise every day and try to keep a positive outlook, going to therapy and all that. But I can’t deny the fact that my best years are behind me, and that I’ve lost so much of what brought me joy. I would do anything to go back in time, I had no idea how good I had it and I just let it all slip through my fingers. So fucking bleak.
No. 762482
File: 1615871677718.jpeg (47.42 KB, 500x707, 6096149B-031A-41D4-9987-61F58A…)
>>762421Yeah. Objectively I know this but I made the mistake of downloading dating apps again after I took some really great pictures. Was feeling myself for all of 24 hours and got a rude awakening…I had been avoiding them ever since I turned 30 because I knew it would get drastically worse.
This would be manageable if I had a solid support system but I moved to Orange County and I absolutely hate the culture here. I don’t fit in at all and I’ve made no friends. I just hide in my room, cry and avoid my annoying messy roommate. I’m just at a loss for what to do.
No. 762484
>>762476I'm just repeating other anons but you seriously don't sound selfish at all. He
will drag you down with him if you don't get away or if he doesn't get help. 6 years is a long time, give him an ultimatum and he might realize what he is about to potentially lose. It sounds like you're not even close to being financially dependent on him anymore so if you do end up having to cut him out you are in a good position. A PhD is enough stress for one lifetime so I can't fathom what you're going through having to manage a manchild on top of that.
side note: strip clubs would be an immediate deal breaker from the get go but thats just my opinion, yikes
No. 762487
>>762476He's a loser wasting your time and using you.
This man doesn't love you. I'm really sorry anon but this won't get better.
No. 762490
>>762476My god, reread your own fucking post. What advice would you give your female friends or family members? You are being fucked over and used and I cannot fathom why you are allowing it.
It makes me sick that women have been brainwashed into feeling 'selfish' for something like paying all the fucking bills and doing all the emotional labour for their lazy, drinking, gambling, strip club going, financial abusing, bum ass boyfriends.
No. 762492
File: 1615873305829.jpg (14.75 KB, 314x246, tixMep1.jpg)
>treat myself cause I get paid in like a week
>check account -100$
>some fuck bought something off amazon across the country for 1500$
>the same fucking bank that freaks out whenever I spend over 50$ didn't even blink
FML
No. 762578
>>762476>I understand the big move and COVID has made life difficultthere's
so much i could pick apart from your post anon, but i want to highlight this sentence in particular: COVID might not have been within his control, but he 100% decided like the big boy he is to move across the country with you and it's in no way, shape or form a crutch to indulge in his very clear addictions and issues.
overall he sounds worthless as a partner, even if you might love him because you've been with him for over half a decade. either he helps himself or you kick him to the curb; it's not worth it. find someone better, please, you absolutely deserve better.
No. 762607
>>762600NTA but it's obviously because the porn industry is disgusting and exploits women and children; it has a ton of trafficked women and children being raped on camera, and even the professional ones are exploited and raped. It also toys your brain in general.
How old are you not to know that?
No. 762609
I’d rather be dead than alive and I can contribute a good 55% of that feeling to the actions and misactions of my selfish spoiled asshole roommate. I hate that he’s had a complicated parent situation because all the women around him, myself included for a really long time, saw that as trauma and think maybe he’s nice and soft / gentle because of that. No, beware of men who are soft or gentle in public, once they’re comfortable around you or in private in what they consider to be their space that they’re entitled to, they’ll scream and put holes in the walls and break and kick things, oh and yell at your cats for just being cats because he’s never owned cats and can’t control them like his elderly dog he abandoned with his widowed grandmother, all while in a house with his girlfriend (my sister) and two roommates (me and another woman) who have all survived different forms and levels of physical violence at the hands of men in our lives.
He’s an inconsiderate smelly temperamental irredeemable toad of a human, and I hope something in life knocks him down a peg or makes him at least get a job, or stop eating my food while I sleep (he does this because he knows I can’t replace it after my paycheck, and never replaces it or gives me money despite having constant cash flow, its been almost 2 years of having to hide my food if i want to end up being the one to eat it and not being able to keep things in the fridge), or breaking things that arent his, and otherwise violent behavior because “muh venting and coping”, or getting violent and storming away when confronted with his actions because god forbid there be consequences for “things in the past while I was processing and coping!!1!1!”. I wish my sister would dump him… her dating him AFTER he hit me and was just like this when we dated when we were younger, I can’t even relish in the I-told-you-so feeling I get when he’s terrible because it’s immediately met with the reality that this creep trapped her in a relationship and uses his trust fund and thoroughly plotted guilt trips and violent outbursts to stay in the house and in our lives, I really wish he would take even one step towards trying to improve himself or making our lives easier as 3 working women through the pandemic who have put up with his behavior. Broken men are broken leave them in the bin, fixing them stinks up your house and they have other paths in life they can take without wreaking havoc on yours for the sake of not wanting to let go of someone from the past. Familiarity is not inherently safe or good.
Wall of Text tl;dr shitty man roommate is violent toward my sister/his gf and my roommate and i want to harm myself and others when he is awake and around me because he goes out of his way to make it bad and I hope he dies in his sleep
No. 762616
>>762600I'm 25, and trying to quit porn after being badly addicted. I would often even fap to things that deeply disgust me to my core. Sometimes all I did was fap and sleep, rinse and repeat, because I was depressed and I have some sexual trauma from my childhood / early teens.
I'm trying to take control of my life, and of course, I fucking hate the porn industry. I'm tired of how women are treated like fuck holes. I'm tired. I'm sick of this shit. Women deserve better.
No. 762618
File: 1615897936771.jpg (196.56 KB, 1080x1128, 2866744e5471ee3391e492fd7f5454…)
I think my boyfriend has BPD holy fuck.
We had an argument where honestly i was the one being a little twat, he told me to calm down and sleep on it and then we could talk about it more reasonably when i had cooled off, cool cool very healthy, good advice, I heed to it and go to sleep.
I woke up to a wall of texts begging me not to leave him and how much an incosiderate and narcissistic asshole he is an how he spent the whole night awake basically feeling like the worst person in the world, this 6'5 20-something year old man just broke down like a blue haired e-girl because I got upset he called me out out for being clingy (Which honestly is true, im extremely extroverted and the recent lockdown has gotten me feeling very lonely and depressed so i've been quite annoying)
And then I gave him the basic modicum of reassurance he completely switched to being horny and passionate, showering me with love and care.
Im just, baffled. Really.
No. 762623
>>762620Care to elaborate anon? Do you think he's going to turn
abusive and hit me or something? At the very worst he's mildly posessive but I don't have much of an issue with that, it boils down to being bitchy and rude to pretty boys that hit on me at the bar.
No. 762625
>>762083It's just agonizing because there's no way to defend yourself against it.
I know I should just move on and not let it bother me, but when I visited home I met one of my aunt's ex friends who had a completely twisted view of me and had to be corrected on what I actually did to move away and live my life.
I'm just angry about it because it's two generations of selfish, narc,
abusive women abusing more successful younger siblings.
No. 762628
>>762618>this 6'5 20-something year old man just broke down like a blue haired e-girl I think it may be taken poorly here because who cares about men but it's honestly uncomfortable to read, it's weird for him he'd be mentally ill because he's 6'5 man??
also IDK if the anon who told you to dump him read that you admit to being a twat in the argument so idk, I guess it would be cool if you bf adressed your issues if it wasn't only one time event.
No. 762636
>>762628Oh no, I don't meant it like that, more like BPD behavior is more associated with young women, Im pretty sure it has like a 3:1 gender difference so it was just, very unexpected, because it was straight up textbook.
>>762631The thing it was just silly, he called me clingy and I got sad and angry at him because im in a bad mood, he told to me to sleep on it and we could talk about it tomorrow, we are not going to break up over something stupid like that, it wasn't a big argument or an overlying issue we have to deal with on a daily basis im just moody because i feel like a trapped animal in a zoo.
No. 762637
>>762618>this 6'5 20-something year old man just broke down like a blue haired e-girl because I got upsetSorry, but
that’s kind of hot.
No. 762640
File: 1615900205897.png (93.05 KB, 1496x552, ucivycvyifvyi.png)
I hate when men """"joke"""" around, and then when they are called out, they say """it's my freedom of speech"""" seriously die already
No. 762678
>>762640"You wanna go on a date? I think you're pretty cute"
"No"
"Hahaha I was just joking anyways.. unless.."
"No"
"Sorry my little brother took my phone haha, you're ugly and fat anyways"
No. 762713
>>762637Can't deny being treated like the second comming of jesus feels good, he also wanted to have sex after but i turned it down because come on, trying to fix-it-up after an argument with sex out of fear of abandoment, woah there the bpd just jumped out sir.
>>762659That's the thing right, he gives me a sermon on how he needs more alone time and space to enjoy his hobbies and that im being too clingy and insecure and then I wake up to straight up 20+ texts begging me to not break up with him and how he's a horrible narcissistic monster and how he shouldn't treat the best thing in his life this way (no suicide baiting which would be a massive red flag but still VERY MUCH eyebrow raising stuff), but like, dude what?
No. 762720
>>762703Dry hands are the devil, anon.
In addition to glove suggestion above (I'd say wear thin fabric gloves underneath disposable ones, they are much nicer on the skin), try maybe looking for rosacea/atopic dermatitis/other extra sensitive skin oriented lotions? If your skin is compromised it maybe more sensitive to fragrance or certain ingredients. Also cosider slathering your hands in heavy moisturizer+vaseline at night and sleeping with cotton gloves.
No. 762795
>>762716It makes sense when women gain weight in a relationship, because sharing meals equally with a man tends to make you eat more because the man does. But how does the boyfriend get fatter while you are not? Is he just sitting around pigging out while you don't eat? That's just rude and gross. If hes getting fat off grease, salt, meats and sweets and keeping unhealthy foods around, that's bad for his health and yours.
You could try saying that for your own health you are banning unhealthy foods from the house. Or maybe say you've gained weight yourself, and ask him to be an exercise buddy? So it's not you telling him to do it, which might not be taken well, but more like you asking him for help. Tough to get a fat man off his ass though.
No. 762823
>>762716So tell him he's mean and boring?
Just because he's fat doesn't mean he has to be lazy, snappy, and not have sex with you. He's boring and mean. Being fat isn't an excuse for any of those things.
He sounds like a loser all around. Tell him you don't want a relationship with him unless he gets his shit together.
No. 762855
>>762809Fuck him up anon
It’s insane how men think they’re automatically in charge by virtue of being male
No. 762862
File: 1615917595193.jpg (23.67 KB, 642x580, fae.jpg)
>>761966More drama: The department directors are currently shitting their pants in a fit because they discovered they have to
shock and terror READ THE TRAINING DOCUMENTS! You know, like us pleb employees do. The first phase of the audit is next week and these dumbfucks neglected their training for months and are now shown as behind.
The Marketing director is particularly one entitled fuck. He wanted me to stop by his office to "catch him up with training," because he wants a personal assistant like our CEO has, I guess. He's been here a little over 90 days and still struggles with shit that new employees have down within a week. Or he pretends to. He's been shown how to do this by two people thrice. He doesn't retain it because he thinks he's above the process and believes if he bitches enough he won't have to do it like the rest of everyone else.
So I roll up and he can't even navigate the fucking Google Drive. He hides behind the excuse of being older as to why he can't fucking read folder titles and files. I finally show him the tracker document, the file locations, and the form he needs to fill out and turn in to indicate the training. He wouldn't stop complaining!
>THIS IS INSANE. THIS IS CRAZY. IVE BEEN HERE 90 DAYS AND YOURE TELLING ME I HAVE TO READ THESE 100 DOCUMENTS? OH IM GONNA TELL [CEO NAME] ABOUT THIS. Lmao. For one thing he definitely didn't have 100 documents, it was less than that. But like…you've been here almost 100 work days dude. You can't read one document a day in exchange for a director's salary? When he was complaining about how insane it was, he was guffawing about the convoluted process, like how in previous jobs they all had electronic systems where he could just press a button to indicate a document has been read. I plainly said that I know how insane it is because I process everyone's training which requires thousands of inputs everyday. He stared at me for like six seconds and we didn't break eye contact. Then he bitched how he "already trained for documents" back in November, because he couldn't understand the concept that they had been revised and he needed to read the updates again.
It's amazing how brainless people get into these positions.
Anyway he was complaining to me like it was my fault the system is how it is. Like if he complained to me enough I could change a system I was given to take charge of and go against what the company required because it inconveniences this new director specifically. Did he think I was going to forge bullshit paperwork for him? He shouldn't have taken this job if he has trouble executing what the lowest paid employees have to do.
No. 762898
File: 1615919536122.gif (948.07 KB, 245x219, Pk.gif)
>>762135I got a reply from her. She thought the screenshots are fake, told me I was a weirdo and told HIM to tell me to not message her again.
What a stupid fucking bitch. This is the last time I bother helping someone out like this. Enjoy your shit marrige if it even comes to it due to his cheating.
I feel so fucking stupid right now and even guilty while none of this shit is my fault. Jesus fuck
No. 762917
>>762901>>762908>>762910>>762911Thank you anons
It'll take a while for the anger to pass, I'm still shocked by the cold ass reply, but at this point it's not my problem anymore. Guess she might've thought I'm trying to break them up, while I'm not even into men. They've been together and known each other for a bit more than a year now so she's probably still in the honeymoon phase.
No. 763022
File: 1615928513295.jpeg (49.33 KB, 720x720, 1575060192004.jpeg)
I am disgusted, I have a pair of shoes on sale on this popular app/website and stated that I don't want no one to come over to try them on because uh it's a fucking pandemic and I am immunocompromised. This based on the name and the fact that they're women's shoes messaged me about the postage and so on, I told her I can get back to her tomorrow (today) and I did. Now she keeps on insisting coming over because she is on some daytrip on the weekend, I told her no 3 times and now I am just gonna block her ass. What is wrong with people??
No. 763131
>>763123Tbh I think introducing the "elite cult" element is exactly what caused people to stop taking it seriously. It suddenly became seen as this far-out occult thing that only happens in foreign mansions and the spooky dark web, when there's children worldwide being harmed every day in very real and tangible ways–beyond csa there's childhood poverty and neglect, child labor, forced child soldiers and child brides, the infamous kids in cages. Nobody really addresses those when they're on a Pedowood tirade since their issue isn't "children are being hurt," it's "the government is protecting the rich illuminati sex pests!"
Sensationalizing pedos backfired instead of """bringing awareness""" imo
No. 763134
>>763086If it is eczema, taking biotin every day and using soap without sulfates always helps me, you can see if you can get a cream with a mild steroid in it OTC too.
If you have health care, a doctor can prescribe a stronger steroid cream if the drugstore ones dont work. Personally the prescription cream saved my skin from looking like fucking magma but make sure you use anything with steroids in sparingly.
No. 763136
>>763131In my personal opinion, these topics are connected, which makes them more relevant than ever. A system like the one we see today in which these crimes can thrive has to have some sort of foundation or leadership that actively supports them. More specifically, I am talking about the Clinton case and how they actively fund human trafficking, or how the shows children watch are produced by paedophiles and largely rely on the work of molested children whilst including innuendo upon innuendo. I wholeheartedly agree that it is important to stay active in protecting and helping child
victims of crimes that aren't committed by the elite, but that doesn't make what is committed by highly influential figures who hold an abnormal amount of power over society less important. It is extremely unfortunate that so many people abuse this topic for their own hidden agenda, but that doesn't make what they're ultimately saying false.
No. 763137
>>763123Anon, it links to the Vatican and the likes of the Rothschild. These people run the world and own and WILL own everything once 2030 hits. Who do you think started this shitty pandemic?
Philip Schneider who was this massive whistle blower ex CIA engineer spoke of Adrenochrome in the 90s ffs
It's been going on yearsssss
No. 763146
>>763136Mentioning the Clinton case, who else remembers John Podesta her Chairman?
There's a video of him on Youtube named "Don't Call Me Skippy" its him abusing a kid in a shower shouting "Whats my name! Whats my name!" and the kid is shouting John three times. And at the end he says "Who's your fucking Daddy now!" and it IS the same voice. Definitely him and people even did a comparison.
Plus him and Tony Podesta are on the guest list for that Comet Pizza place. And the showers downstairs are the exact same as in the video this took place. Someone recorded it secretly.
If you do go looking for this video - I'll warn you now you will not sleep properly. I watched it and it is fucking horrible. I wanted to cry. You can't see it but the shadow figures show it all.
And in the video John Podesta even says "I grow stronger and I grow stronger" and someone said that this is from a CP video.
Plus there was another video I saw on some other site in the SAME fucking shower in that Pizza place downstairs and its dark, you see a little bit of the shower open and its some creep telling a kid they have a nice body and shit and the kid is crying and theyre like why are you crying kid?
Someone is filming this shit and trying to out it evidently.
No. 763150
>>763148I ain't from Reddit
That shit is on Youtube and that other video I came across during the Pizzagate shit.
No. 763152
>>763142Anon, do not get too into it. I did when I first started looking into it and I couldn't sleep for a week. It knocks you sick to the fucking core.
Not even just that…
The Getty Museum has kids in bunkers under there. That has been recently outed by another whistleblower and it's worse than Epstein.
Kids from poor ass countries and they're deported to the US in ART crates and they aint opened due to some law? I aint America so idk
But now we have that too going on and it makes you wonder what the actual fuck more is happening
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 763170
>>763155NTA, but I've seen the same video, with a comparison to Podesta's voice. Seems like it was scrubbed from YT, but there's this.
Funny, we have so much content on obviously fake/dumb conspiracies (flat earth, chemtrails, etc) untouched and undisturbed, but the "fake" Pizzagate content has a way of disappearing.
No. 763197
File: 1615940836574.jpg (89.96 KB, 960x712, 7eeefa52-cc99-4566-8956-ad97f1…)
I will choke slam my fucking roommate if he burns another fucking meal while staring dead at the fucking food.
I can understand walking away or working on other items, but when you're staring at it directly and it fucking burns…. what the fuck
youd' think after weeks of burning food this motherfucker would learn how to cook some fucking pancakes and eggs.
No. 763224
File: 1615941922863.jpg (492.37 KB, 2722x2160, D6l2aV1UUAEEUb0.jpg)
>>763172yeah, I remember there was also a girl on twitter claiming her dad had sold her to Tom Hanks as a 12yr old or something
No. 763237
File: 1615942929807.jpg (39.47 KB, 640x509, 1615303610089.jpg)
Here I fucking go again falling in love with facelesss skinny eboy musician
I'm too old for this reee
No. 763252
File: 1615944027515.png (284.03 KB, 600x600, balm.png)
>>763185I rec getting the following anon! I originally bought this because my eczema was getting so bad and it helped a lot, then when I got bed bugs it was one of the only things that helped the itching (sometimes I'll have to reapply it a few times, other times just one layer works to stop it).
No. 763258
File: 1615944619757.jpeg (111.94 KB, 716x768, BC6116E0-2532-4784-93C5-B2634A…)
last year i was supposed to get plastic surgery. it was all planned out. i got a job, saved up a few thousand euro, and then the pandemic happened and everything went to shit. i was supposed to get my chin fixed (receding chin) and a nose job. my parents starting badgering me even more about how i don't need it, especially the nose job. now i'm starting to feel horrible about my appearance again and i just don't know what to do anymore. i wish i didn't need plastic surgery. i wish my face was naturally just IN PROPORTION and i didn't look like i have a physical deformity from my side profile, or literally any other view other than deadpan front facing. i don't even wish to be beautiful or anything, i just wish i was born at least average looking without all this weird shit about my face. it's crippling me mentally. i've reached my mid 20s and i'm still struggling with the same insecurities from 10 years ago. it's going to be the same 10 years from now, and then 10 years after that, unless i kill myself or get hit by a bus or something. it's just never going to end because i know OBJECTIVELY that my face is ugly.
No. 763342
hate that my mom is defending my brother's obvious cheating during the course of his relationship with his ex. she had the audacity to tell his ex gf that she shouldn't have cheated on him for a man has pride or ego they have to carry and that my brother didn't even bother introducing the other women he has on the side.
the ex gf only cheated once and she did it to finally end the toxic relationship my brother had with her, unlike him who, despite being caught multiple times, still does it.
i hate the bias my mom has for him. she always defends him, cuddle him and literally does not scold him for his wrong doings and him being an absolute slob and lazy. he only dates girls who are his classmates so that they can do his homework and other school related activities. and my mom just jokes about it.
when my brother tells us that his new gf failed "some of his tests and that because she lacks training" i was absolutely disgusted and my mom was nonchalant about it his comment.
my mom, who is a domestic abuse survivor and a victim of being cheated on by her ex husband, my dad, multiple times throughout their marriage, would rather support my brother who shows the same behavior as her abuser (although, i'm glad that my brother hasn't laid a hand on his girlfriends and if he did i will definitely castrate him and cut off his dick). i'm glad that karma is getting to her, i guess. her boyfriend is cheating on her with some girl, someone younger and sexy, and she's been miserable although she tries to hide it off by telling others that she can find someone better.
No. 763381
It's official, after my lease expires my boyfriend is moving me in with his elderly parents. His mother has Alzheimer's.
I'm so uncomfortable with this but I really truly have no choice and neither will bf when his expires shortly after mine. We'll have to live with them until we can secure a home loan–it would be pointless to rent in the meantime & I refuse to go back to renting because this will price us out completely in a few year's time. One bedroom rent is now equal to or greater than the mortgage of a $300k home, unless one wants to sublet a "private room" with several different strangers. I'm already mad at myself for being with my loser ex and not having bought a house myself 5 years ago when I first moved to the area and the prices weren't yikes tier bad yet. Covid actually made the housing market hotter and more competitive.
I guess I ought to be grateful. His folks live in a nice area and have a gorgeous house…except it's buried in hoarding clutter with mean fucking cats. I feel really dirty in there when we visit, so in addition to wanting to clean for my own sake I'm sure it's what they'll half expect of me anyway. As well as cook, no doubt, since they've enjoyed my food I brought over. They won't charge us rent, so it'll be nice to not pay split rent like what I'm doing now by living with my jerk stepdad. I'm estranged from the rest of my family because I went no contact with my mother. She is a emotionally abusive narc who terrorized me every day when I moved back home temporarily after grad school and after my breakup with my ex. The way she badly treated me escalated when her third marriage failed, so I can't live with her, she's awful. And she'd charge me rent so lol I'm not paying her to mistreat me and tapdance on my adult boundaries. Not to mention she wouldn't let my bf (soon to be fiance) live with us while there despite having a big house. God I'm upset typing that out, I wish I could have been born to stable and emotionally available people who wanted to support me instead of punishing me for not living up to their expectations. Anyway…we can save money in this instance.
I just hope his parents don't wind up hating me. His mother seems to like me, although she can't remember my name for her life haha. I just don't want her to develop bad associations like what she has of my bf's ex. She's already convinced there are "women" living on their second floor and stealing her things, so I mean…I just hope that sort of energy doesn't become directed at me. I don't really like his dad but he seems to like me better than his ex and was impressed with my car and job, so it seems if I stay out of his way that matters will be fine.
Pray for me anons. Pray that we can get pre-qualified and find a fucking home before next year so I don't have to keep living on someone else's property for forever.
No. 763386
>>763258I can't give advice, only life experience and there have been so many people in society/pop culture/history with a "big nose, weak chin" who are loved/desired.
I get we all have our own perception of how we look or want to look and meeting up to our ideals is hard
Unless you are adam driver, that guy's ugly
No. 763397
File: 1615968690965.gif (2.03 MB, 700x700, ef1f28b4-be04-4808-8d10-326aa2…)
I never had a support system but I also never got negative feedback either. Until now.
I'm trying to learn programming on my own and family members are all trying to gently redirect me from it. Or just give me a sad look when I tell them about it.
I work a shit job that pays less than minimum but gives me time to study but I guess since I'm not officially in school everyone thinks I'm dicking around. The thing that pisses me off the most that no one has ANY suggestions what I should do instead of programming. They are all silent when I ask but they all shit on me anyway.
Truth is, I have no idea what I want to do and how to get there, at least programming is fun. I'm in my mid 20s and feel like I'm running out of time. I know I'm not but I have peers that are already settling down, have careers etc so yea the pressure is there.
No. 763416
>>763414Hey my mom does that too. She also has the habit of going in and out of rooms just to look out the windows and spy on our neighbors. It’s very obsessive..
>>763408I hope you can get a break anon. You deserve a good sleep.
No. 763550
>>763541Thank you, and I hear your pain as well and feel it. I think I’ll do the same. We’d been best friends since middle school, and he had a lot of struggles, but was still so warm and wonderful. We didn’t always talk after moving away, but when we did, it was like nothing happened. We talked as recently as last year and chatted about visiting sometime and how much he loved his son and how he had been sober for a while. I don’t know if it was a relapse, accident, or health issue, and I feel like an asshole for not realizing it happened sooner. But I know that doesn’t do any good. I’m just remembering good things today. My parents were strict but LOVED him even though he was always a ruffian. Big hugs to you, anon. This shit sucks. When I pour one out for him today, I’ll keep it going for your friend too.
No. 763712
I opened my bank account when I was under 18 so they had to be linked to my mom's accounts and my bank won't let me unlink them, I have to completely close and reopen them anew but that's such a fucking inconvenience to reset up my direct deposit and relink my autopays to my bank account ughhh. It hasn't really ever bothered me that she can see how much I have in my accounts, but then again, we haven't ever been in the situation the pandemic has put us in. My parents have a lot of debt because of my dad, and I've paid off my student loans and live rent free with them. I feel like giving her money whenever she asks for some (it's not often) is the least I can do since I don't pay rent, but at the same time I'm suddenly uncomfortable with her seeing that I'm sitting on a lot of money in both my savings and checkings and possibly thinking "my daughter doesn't need all of this money."
My parents aren't skeevy terrible people and my mom has never transferred money out of my account without asking me beforehand, but it's… a little unnerving. I feel unjustified in feeling uncomfortable, but I'm an adult and it's no small sum of money so I have the right to feel uncomfortable, right? Since my account is linked to hers, she doesn't actually need formal permission from me to even transfer money out of my accounts lol, but I do frequently check and have notifications set up (for fraud protection). Maybe I'm just being super paranoid for no reason.
No. 763792
>>763788I'm so sorry for that you had to go through this.
I hope you get the justice you deserve
No. 763824
File: 1616029508539.png (26.7 KB, 128x128, 1607758275793.png)
my teacher told me I behave like a feral animal but he likes me anyway. it's not the first time he points out my weird behavior and my lack of manners but it's the first time he said he likes me. should I tell him I'm autistic? maybe that will make him stop
No. 763862
>>763855NTA but same. I had a dream last night about the feeling of growing apart from a friend because I have nothing interesting to say or do.
I wish I knew how to maintain a friendship, but every time I reach out to people I just go blank of anything to talk about.
No. 763875
>>763857You have a husband? Now I feel even more lonely. I can’t ever find a guy. But good for you fren. I’m happy for you.
>>763855I feel like a thing that should die tbh.
No. 763893
>>763888girl are you me? my
husband who is a former fashion/beauty photographer makes me look like the hunchback of notre dame in pictures, while even my arthritic dad with developing cataract in one eye or a rando on the street who will never see me again can take pictures where i am absolutely flawless and glowing.
it used to cut me but i just accepted him taking my pictures is not going to happen. thank god for selfies and kind strangers. also yknow what? just based on how similar your vent is to my own experience, i already know you look like a fucking goddess and no mere dumbass with a camera can truly capture it
No. 763894
>>763888Did you tell him?
Direct him how to take photos!
You don't need any work done anon you're gorgeous obv he needs to learn how to take a photo
No. 763902
File: 1616044082659.png (62.62 KB, 434x411, 1531592634890.png)
One day, I ran down to the mail box, and then I just kept running, and now someday, I'm going to keep running and never come back
No. 763912
File: 1616046289672.jpeg (28.27 KB, 720x508, USER_SCOPED_TEMP_DATA_orca-ima…)
I keep masturbating to sexy bitches then I feel bad about my own body. I am retarded
No. 763943
File: 1616051310565.png (638.65 KB, 600x600, pepsi.png)
>>763913ur gonna get an ulcer
No. 764023
File: 1616060768508.png (110.72 KB, 1512x710, mra.PNG)
Reading Buzzfeed article on some prominent men's right activism figure and god damn, just how fucking pathetic MRAs are. Even if they're somewhat right on some issues (bias torwards women when it comes to parental rights) they refuse to acknowledge it's men's fault all along. That dude being a fucking junkie who abandoned his daugter immediately after birth is a living proof of that.
Literally only thing I ever see MRA do is patting each other's back and hijacking discussions about women's issues with their whataboutism.
the article if anyone is interested in how much of a mess this man is
https://www.buzzfeed.com/adamserwer/how-mens-rights-leader-paul-elam-turned-being-a-deadbeat-dad No. 764036
File: 1616063788371.png (286.11 KB, 539x530, 4443.png)
why are males such attention whores
No. 764049
File: 1616064646788.jpeg (Spoiler Image,59.51 KB, 567x567, 1611699430346.jpeg)
>>764036They need attention to fill the emptiness inside them
No. 764052
File: 1616065066024.jpg (48.27 KB, 400x394, 1531757421894.jpg)
I just really hate it here. I NEED my quiet cozy cottage and peaceful life in solitude, RIGHT NOW!!!
No. 764055
>>764023They aren’t even right on the custody bias shit. The reason men don’t get full custody as often is because they rarely even
ask for custody. Courts these days
in burgerland are set up to try and maximize parental involvement from both parents unless one specifically doesn’t want to pull their weight.
No. 764099
File: 1616072551079.gif (1012.48 KB, 500x295, 46324FBB-40F1-48C3-9414-15F597…)
watching other people with better talent and honestly just a better life where they don’t have weird nightmares every other night and no friends has me hanging on a thread I’m so exhausted of school and family
i don’t even try to impress people anymore with my stuff I don’t have the energy to do it and I’m just developing a whole host of mental issues from being at home and worrying if I’ll have a bullet through my head, waking up in the middle night, having to do my zoom classes outside because I absolutely can’t stand being in the living room. the mental strain of going from feeling alright and beginning to feel some sort of light in your life hanging around family members you’re starting to not tolerate as much because of your depression and what not and then having that removed from you from the strength of my anhedonia is exhausting. the sun can shine as bright as it wants on me, I still will not recognize its light
god this is so cringey and childish to bitch about but I really have not been myself and yet my family members that I’m really close to think I’m mentally okay when I’m clearly not. do they even really care about me? do they really? or am I just an obligation?
No. 764106
>>764099You need to stop associating worth with talent and confusing public appereances with what people feel deep inside. Person you perceive as social and skilled may struggle just as much inside, it's coming from a different place.
Impressing people will not make you happy, and ask yourself why do you even think it would? Maybe addressing that will help you moving forward.
No. 764119
>>764116>and he just says '' oh im sorry for that''
You expect him to magically fix all your problems?
No. 764138
File: 1616079301573.jpeg (70.82 KB, 750x726, E406A39B-36AF-41D0-803F-1BDC9E…)
My septuagenarian father just called me on the phone to give me a link to a lesbian porn website. This is the same man who encouraged me to go bar hopping despite the pandemic and smoke weed even though I have a history of psychosis. I can handle the endless lamentation about your four failed marriages and oversharing about your myriad physical ailments (including the catheter and colostomy bag!!!!) but what the fuck is wrong with you? Normal people don't share pornography with their daughters. I feel sick with the realisation that he watched something so explicit and thought of me in any capacity. I need to walk into a deeply forested area and scream at the top of my lungs.
No. 764145
File: 1616080036918.jpg (111.36 KB, 462x482, 157 - 7VueJxn.jpg)
Trying to trick myself into being masochistic over an empty and hurting stomach.
"ooooo yes i enjoy this pain so much, im sooo hungry"
That way maybe I will have a reason to not eat every time tumby rumble
No. 764153
File: 1616081611228.jpg (112.84 KB, 1280x720, mini moon gun.jpg)
I can't tell if I'm bi or just have internalized misogyny
No. 764160
>>764145take a heart burn medication and do something euphoria inducing like masturbation or music.
>>764153Please expand?
No. 764187
File: 1616084885202.jpeg (107.3 KB, 640x480, 1605564290530.jpeg)
>>763902literally this pic
No. 764198
>>764160tysm
nonnie for your tip!
No. 764262
File: 1616092505742.jpg (20.43 KB, 560x547, 107014287_10213851693326807_32…)
I want to start uni but I'm 26 and I'm scared I won't be able to perform well enough, I've been out of education system for 7 years ffs. I was depressed and anti-social for a very long time and I feel like it literally slowed me down. I'm not as bright as before, I don't learn as quickly, I even have memory issues. Is neuroplasticity a meme? Am I still able to improve my cognitive abilities or is it too late for me? What can I do?
No. 764280
>>755729I'm so fucking tired of people on here calling everyone they disagree with a scrote.
Everyone who is not a libshit is a scrote, everyone who ever criticizes a female celebrity must be a scrote, everyone who doesn't think that every single man on this planet deserves to die is a scrote.
it's so fucking dumb
No. 764292
File: 1616094764944.jpg (59.68 KB, 750x709, EfvP6t0WkAE1q21.jpg)
I didn't get a job I was gunning for and time is running out and I won't be able to afford to do my masters outside of this shithole town and I won't be able to even study what I like after working my ass off for 4 years in cs and I'll end up living with my mom till one of us dies AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No. 764308
File: 1616095956407.jpg (55.85 KB, 750x561, EV-E3vlWAAACayB.jpg)
I have such a bad case of imposter syndrome
No. 764341
>>764315I agree,
>>764312 should fuck off. Hope you can get past your imposter syndrome, I know how much it sucks.
No. 764345
I know that it’s odd, but I hate that my mom has accepted my neet lifestyle. She always makes sure I don’t lack anything I need, is nice, asks me to spend time with her (I don’t). But the thing that bothers me is that my health and lifestyle are decaying, she knows it and she acts like things are normal, I’m pretty much left to my own devices. She doesn’t care, full stop. But I think it also happens for a number of other reasons. I used to be responsible growing up so she did not have to worry about me, she could count on me to take care of things. Her mental health seems to have deteriorated too over the years, the last time I remember her being normal was… years ago. She is worse than me in certain ways, she is more complacent, because of age I guess, but aside from that she has also made some terrible decisions. Anyways. I wish I had someone that forced me to improve my life or to go outside kek because I’m lonely. And yeah I might be an asshole but I don’t care.
No. 764387
>>764377>>764381>>764385Damn you really are
triggered.
No. 764391
>>764341Thank you, anon. My imposter syndrome is relating to my sexuality. It's just weird. I wish I just wish I felt more sure about what/who I am
>>764345Gosh, you're horrible. You're a grown women. Your mom is already providing for you and clearly cares for you despite her own health deteriorating, but you still want her to baby you despite the fact you can't do something as simple as hang out with her. You cannot blame her for the fact that you won't improve your own health. She's already dealing with her own shit. I usually don't reply to these kind of posts because I have an
abusive mother and I know what that's like, but you're truly awful. I hope she kicks you the hell out. No wonder you're a neet, you blame all of your issues on other people.
No. 764392
>>764387Why should she do anything for you though? Lol You admitted your an asshole! You're "lucky" she accepts you being lazy af, and you can't even be bothered to like idk, watch a movie with her?
Hey girl, you wanna be sad your whole life, go for it, but your mom isn't going to be around forever to support your lazy ass.
Really hope you are trolling!
No. 764395
File: 1616102136442.jpg (306.16 KB, 768x702, Untitled-1.jpg)
Crying over a mediocre man not being into me again! free me from this hell !Ashamed that I am using the term 'breadcrumbing' unironically even if it's only in my own mind
No. 764458
File: 1616105439944.jpg (319.21 KB, 1065x1600, futurproche.jpg)
>>764187I get it, everyday I get closer to this
No. 764482
File: 1616106194987.jpeg (126.22 KB, 1024x780, 19B5C55E-0AE4-4AF9-B2DD-EA2975…)
My mom has always known I like and prefer women, never had an issue with that, she is cool but I always thought of myself as a bi. Even when I would never sleep with a man, even though I may find a few male celebs hot, I would say how I wanna tap that, I would never do that irl. Was kinda thinking about it all outloud, saying how I wouldn’t want to call myself a lesbian when real lesbians probably wouldn’t be driverfagging for fun and my mom said that she can look at a woman, think she is hot but not want anything beyond that. “I think you are too scared of the lesbians, anon but you’re in no rush”. What a night, picrel it’s the vibes in our house.
No. 764483
I hate my body so much.
I'm tall. I don't mind being tall per se, because I think long legs are beautiful and I like the way tall thin women look in dresses. that being said, I have terrible proportions. I have a really round, big head. short arms, tiny hands, long torso, and a really intense hip-dip (I have hip dysplasia which can only be corrected by surgery, which costs thousands of dollars and I don't have insurance that would cover it. plus that, hip dysplasia makes it hard/impossible to do certain exercises, like run). so instead of looking tall and elegant I just look like a giant overgrown toddler.
I'm also an "apple shape" which means the fat goes to my stomach area first. yet for some reason I also have fat thighs. and the fat that I have is really saggy. I've seen women who are fatter than me and still look better than me because their muscles seem to hold up their fat better. I also have a saggy fat ass that is really hard to fix and grow muscle thanks to aforemention hip dysplasia. on top of that I have downward pointing breasts that have been that way ever since I got them.
I also have stretch marks. I'm overweight but can hardly find the motivation to lose weight because I know I will still hate the way I look after I lose weight, even if I hate it slightly less.
oh and I also have osgood-schlatter syndrome which means I have a bump of bone that grew out under my knee. it's really sensitive and hurts to bend my knee too much. I'm not even sure if there's a surgery for that.
I just want a normal body, god damn it.
No. 764492
>>764491>everything but your knee sounds like mental illnessum but I also have hip dysplasia
you're probably right though, I really need to lose weight
No. 764495
File: 1616106889247.jpg (125.47 KB, 560x746, momma cat.jpg)
I feel like a make one post talking about how I want to be a mother at least once a month, but gosh I really do want to be a mom someday. I wish my brain would cut this babyfever shit out, because I'm not ready for a child and probably won't be for a very long time. I just have to keep living vicariously through women who are mothers lol
No. 764510
File: 1616108412906.jpeg (13.95 KB, 450x312, weight-loss-before-after_10070…)
>>764491Nta, but i too am tall and weirdly proportioned and after losing weight I honestly feel as shitty about my body as I did before. Being skinny somehow further exaggerates my awkward shape. Anon should lose weight for other reasons such as health, fitness goals etc. and not aesthetics.
No. 764517
>>764495What age did babyfever kick in for you?
I'm old (by lc standards) and have never had it, wondering if I'm out of the woods if I already made it to this age urge-free
No. 764521
>>764515Sorry? Not sure what your issue is.
>>764517I guess babyfever might not be the best word to describe it cause it's not really a fleeting desire, but I've wanted kids since I was a teenager (as crazy as that sounds out loud). I'm in my early 20s, so not old, but I still want them. I think a small part of the reason why I want them is because my mother was
abusive, so I want to give love that I wasn't given. That's one of the reasons why I want to hold off on kids though. I don't want to project my issues on my children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting children though, anon! I wouldn't stress too much about it. Some people just don't have that desire
No. 764523
I hear this one weird sound in my room several times a week. I don't know when it is (I wanna kick myself in the face for not thinking of writing down the time I hear it earlier than just fucking yesterday, especially since it didn't happen today), I don't know what it is (it sounds weirdly metallish and is a short click), I don't know where it comes from (I think from somewhere around my desk area?) and my dumbass brain makes me think it's some fucker that installed something in my room to either watch or listen to me and I'm back to panicking for hours on end under my blanket, crying my eyes out because I don't feel safe in my own room again. I've been doing so well for the past few years, I'm able to rationalize everything away but since I really can't attribute this sound to anything, it sends me spiraling. First I thought it might be something from my neighbors (you hear it if someone plugs something in the socket) but the sound is too clear, it has to come from my room. I thought it might come from my bag shifting, the flowers in my vase moving, this one decoration on my table slipping, the little shelf under my desk moving by itself, but no matter how I try to move things (I've tried a lot for a long time), the sound isn't the same. I can't help but eye my socket and smoke detector, even though I (hope to) know there isn't anything hidden build-in, I don't want to but that's the only thing I can think of fucking kill me
No. 764543
>>764533It is interesting! I think some of it is a little bit of projection. I have heard of other kids with
abusive parents say that they had parents who were also abused, and that cycle scares me. I think some parents just take their anger and pent up emotions out onto their children. Some people do suffer from bad childhoods and do end up being good parents though.
>>764537If you're that anon from the unpopular opinion thread, can I ask why you're dragging your anti-natalist argument into other threads?
No. 764550
>>764541That anon is not me lmao. I'm not spamming any threads. I really have to ask, why do you feel so personally offended by my post? Thank you for making fun of me for having an
abusive mother though. Keep being a salty bitch, anon.
No. 764575
>>764563Lmao let me guess, cow 1 is foodie beauty?
That woman can’t even take care of herself. Even Null was spouting the same shit but then again he’s just as retarded as the rest of them.
No. 764581
>>764575Yep lol. She's been fat since childhood herself. She changes her mind about everything all the time but consistently said she doesn't want kids, now is wombless and dying and null and co are talking about babies?? They honestly think we either sit around bored to death or just get up to awful mischief when we don't have babies to keep us occupied.
Got issues? Must just be that unsatisfied womb making you act mental.