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No. 377964
Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win! If you suspect a poster is XY pls report and ignore instead of shitting up the entire thread with accusations. Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (use a VPN, incognito mode, be wary of external links/discords, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).
Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?>what’s your local lesbian scene like?>cute stories about your gf>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?>coming out stories>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?>bitch about being lonely>tips for coping with being lonely>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?>what's your type?>when did you know you were gay?>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian? >get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc>best date/match? worst?>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?>dating app horror stories>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate>lesbian history, literature, and politicsprevious threads:
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>>>/g/350481 No. 378032
>>376793>>376861AYRT, I stopped checking these threads or /g/ in general and I'm sad but also glad to see other anons relate to this. I "went into hiding" for so long as a result, but I realized that's part of the problem so I'm slowly being more open and visible.
>>376861This was why I clung onto the bi label for awhile when I was 18-20, even when I realized I wasn't really attracted to men. I felt like I had a community and was less scrutinized when I was open about my sexuality towards women when I used to bi label. I ended up un-coming out as bi later, but I kinda regret it.
No. 378287
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>>378266the butchies say otherwise
No. 378716
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Ugh she wore a crop top I need to lick her stomach and nonexistent cleavage
No. 379018
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What are your thoughts on “Skirt Club”, an international organisation who host nighttime women only events aimed at bicurious women?
Would it be unethical to turn up if I am exclusively homosexual but just want to finger someone with no strings attached?
No. 379028
>>379018I dont think anyone checks or cares if you are into men or not. But I feel like an event like that would mostly attract the some poly queerio types kek.
>>378442I was outed against my will in school when this "mean girl" saw me holding hands with my gf. It was horrible going to showers after PE classes I was scared the other girls thought I was staring at them.
No. 379086
>>379078I'm sorry I get my post sounded childish, it was just my sisters coworker said she prefers masculine/butch women
>>379081I haven't really posted itt before
No. 379096
>>379081I've noticed it, too. It's weird but not surprising considering how many spammers and trolls come here to entertain themselves with anons who take the bait. But I've been wanting to talk about my preferences for a while now and this opportunity is as good as any, so I'll just go ahead.
For me femininity is an instant turn off, not just because I prefer masculine and androgynous aesthetics, but because it signals conformity and insecurity. I'm talking about things like wearing makeup and shaving, following fashion trends, self-effacing behaviors like shyness and indecision. No, I need a woman who takes up space and has the guts to be herself. The world hates women and especially lesbians, beats us all down and tries to force us into neat little boxes that can be easily understood and controlled. Butch may be its own stereotype, but I greatly prefer it to the self-loathing consumerist who, despite being homosexual, still dolls herself up for societal (male) approval. No hate to femmes as individuals, obviously, and I don't believe in policing or making political the personal preferences of other women. I'm not disgusted or hateful as much as I'm just… bored by it all.
So yeah, I'll be taking a barefaced, hairy butch as my wife. At the heart of it, I want to be with someone as unique as I am, someone who has never cared about fitting in or following bullshit rules of femininity. She'll be outspoken and courageous in the face of fear. We'll protect each other from people who try to change us.
No. 379103
>>379099>women who are feminine but not fully straight-passing feminineYeah, I know exactly what you mean because (ironically) my style leans in that direction. I didn't say it in my other post, but I'm more "lenient" about skirts or long hair or girly aesthetics because, to me, they're not inherently conformist. Sometimes a sundress really is the most sensible or individualistic thing to wear. I see it as another "fuck you" to the male gaze to scavenge only the most appealing parts of femininity and leave the rest behind. It's different when a woman is obviously alternative or has a strong personality. That's how I see myself when I go out looking girly, anyway.
Ultimately, I don't mind if my butch wife is not in ~crossplay~ 100% of the time. My ideal woman's sense of style probably wouldn't fall into any neat categories, anyway. At the same time, part of my love for butches and desire to have a butch partner is that I need to be "the cute one" in the relationship. I'm still fairly boyish, though, so the woman I'm playing off of should have an air of masculinity so potent it blows mine out of the water. I enjoy relationships with that kind of contrast.
No. 379127
>>379125*shouldn't
She's very kind and I like where things are going so far but I feel like her putting everything on the table was probably good but I just really didn't expect it. I didn't know she smoked that much either but everyone smokes so I shouldn't be hung up about that either?
No. 379134
>>379125Substance abuse is a major red flag. If she's still smoking, that indicates that she doesn't know how to deal with her problems or regulate her mood without drugs. She could also be lying about what drugs she gave up and why. For all you know, money or accessibility could be the only thing in the way of her doing coke again, not any real growth or desire for sobriety and stability. Also you describe yourself as a shut in and a survivor of abuse. Obviously you're in a vulnerable position here. Even without oversharing the way she did, people can clue into that, and if you're already feeling hesitant and getting bad vibes, I think you should listen to your intuition. The person you're meant to be with is not going to throw up so many warning signs so quickly.
By the way, next time you want to correct typos or add things to your reply, you can delete and repost it within the first hour. Do that instead of needlessly samefagging. It clogs the thread.
No. 379146
>>379125i vote hell no. whether or not you feel bad for her or would feel mean for rejecting her isnt the issue, it's that it would be piss-easy for the combination of her and you to turn
toxic/unhealthy. just stay friends with her at most
No. 379284
>>379125Anon, it's totally okay that you feel iffy about her past experiences and her current drug use. It's important to listen to your instincts after surviving abuse, that's your indicator to help keep yourself safe.
In any kind of relationship, even just with friends, it's really important to have matching principles, and it sounds like this woman's doesn't match yours. You can have sympathy for what she went through without having to sign up for dating her/progressing the relationship any further. I don't think that it's that you're "judging her" necessarily, I think it sounds like she doesn't align with you on certain standards that you're seeking in a relationship. I wish you much luck and remember, you don't have to be with anyone you don't want to or anyone you feel guarded around.
No. 379370
>>379318Do anons here really categorize lesbians as top or bottoms? I thought we agreed this was a gay moid thing. Unless you’re a pillow princess/only receive strap, you’re not a bottom. Like if I was about to have sex with a woman and she told me she was a bottom that would be such a turn off kek
>>379362I think you need to get outside more
No. 379379
>>379370the userbase is not a monolith. i don't mind what others say. i say top/bottom because it makes sense to me. and i'm not talking just about physical sex acts. it's also about dynamics. too many women are unassertive, insecure, passive, people pleasing, masochistic, desperate and pathetic. bottoms.
less cynically, some people just prefer to have a partner who takes the lead.
myself included. most women have this preference but it's not a problem in het couples because scrotes gonna scrote. the problem is in a 100% female population the ratios are all fucked up. there's a top shortage. it annoys me.
No. 379423
>>379379I promise I don't mean this in a snarky way but have you considered being less of a bottom? There are rare women who are stone but most women want a turn being taken care of instead of being stuck in the top role. I've been the designated top in all my relationships and it's exhausting. If a woman can't plan a date or initiate sex or make her partner cum that's not cutesy bottom vibes uwu it's a character flaw and it gets old really fast. In the het/gay moid world top/bottom works because men get pleasure from sticking their dick in someone, so it's easy for them to get pleasure from taking the lead. The majority of women can't cum just from giving. And even for women who love giving it sucks when that's all you get to do. And it sucks x100 when it breaches the bedroom and seeps into the whole relationship dynamic and the top is the only one planning dates, being the shoulder to cry on, communicating assertively, initiating important relationship conversations, etc while the bottom just sits around acting like their passivity is adorable and charming.
Like I don't think there's a 'top shortage' I think it's just natural that most women don't want to be stuck exclusively in that role. I think for lesbians top/bottom is often just used to hide character flaws we should be working on instead of identifying with. It goes both ways too, I don't want to just shit on bottoms. I've also met plenty of women who are domineering and chauvinistic but hide behind the top or butch label. If you aren't assertive you should work on that, because if you make it your whole personality and advertise how much of a pathetic unassertive bottom you are it's just going to attract weird controlling tops who want a doormat. Idk TLDR healthy relationships should be fairly equal.
No. 379428
>>379423NTA but agree with this
>>379379>too many women are unassertive, insecure, passive, people pleasing, masochistic, desperate and patheticSpeak for yourself kek it sounds like you have a lot of internalized misogyny. I would never say any of this about any woman I’ve dated, because it’s gross to say and just not true
>inb4 don’t police my language on lolcow!!1!It sounds like you’re the problem, and you’re projecting it onto all women/lesbians. Maybe you have terrible taste in women too, but that’s still a you problem
No. 379438
>>379423interesting post but you made up a ton of stuff about me that i never said. maybe you were just venting about your own experiences? like you i've been the top in all of my relationships. they've all been unsatisfying if not outright
abusive. that's why i'm annoyed. your call for equality makes sense to me. but being a bottom =/= being selfish. at least it shouldn't be that way. when i imagine myself in the submissive role everything i do is in service to my partner. i don't have problems giving love or being proactive.
>>379428at least you quoted things i actually said. sounds like you had better dating experiences than i did. good for you. question why did you feel the need to say "NTA but i agree"? which anon are you not? if you reply to me in the same post it's pretty obvious you're not me. i dont give a fuck about anything else you said. kek this is the language i care to police.
>>379434sure i'll keep growing up. my tastes might change as i get older. as far as i can tell though the dominant/submissive personality trend is something people are born with. i'll be better off with someone dominant.
No. 379444
>>379379You can't be a lesbian and this much of a loser. The dating pool is small enough as it is.
>>379309I recommend using something like Meetup (the app or the website). You can find lots of groups that do different IRL or online activities. Whether the groups are lesbian targeted or not, there are lots of women's hobby groups for different things. Anything outdoorsy gets lesbians flocking to it.
No. 379445
>>379438>interesting post but you made up a ton of stuff about me that i never said.Sorry, I assumed you were including yourself in this description of bottoms.
>too many women are unassertive, insecure, passive, people pleasing, masochistic, desperate and pathetic. bottoms.
>being a bottom =/= being selfish. at least it shouldn't be that way. when i imagine myself in the submissive role everything i do is in service to my partner. i don't have problems giving love or being proactive.Yeah this actually makes sense to me, you're probably not the type of woman I was complaining about. Maybe part of the problem is that nobody has a consistent definition of lesbian top/bottom? Like gay moids who identify as bottoms still give blowjobs and handjobs and work for the top's pleasure (as far as I know, I'm not an expert in gay moid dynamics). Which sounds like what you're saying? Like you'd still be happy to go down on your partner?
But most lesbian women who identify as bottoms seem terrified of pussy (in my experience) and want to receive but won't reciprocate in any way. Like I go down on a woman and my 'reward' is just the experience of going down on her, I am not allowed to expect oral in return because as a top I should just spontaneously orgasm from providing pleasure (which can happen and is fun sometimes, but gets really fucking old when it's every single time). That's what I think of whenever I hear "lesbian bottom".
No. 379468
I am often irked by the whole top/bottom nomenclature because it doesn't make sense for most lesbian sex acts and is functionally just a less BDSM-y label for dominant/submissive. Is eating a woman out topping or bottoming? It's not straightfoward, and the relative submissiveness or dominance of the act will depend on the women involved. Even fingering a woman isn't always a dominant thing–it is usually considered "topping," but I don't see why we should center our vocabulary about lesbian sex around penetration. It's also not even effective shorthand, because different women will mean different things. Some women use bottom to mean "wants sex acts performed upon them but won't reciprocate," some women use it to mean "sexually submissive but also reciprocal," some mean "enjoys being sexually penetrated and will reciprocate with non-penetrative sex acts," etc. etc. That said, the vast majority of women who've been vocal bottoms in my experience have meant "sexually submissive, wants penetrative sex acts performed upon them, and won't reciprocate anything at all" which is…a pretty miserable sexual experience, honestly. I have encountered a shocking number of women who self-describe as bottoms because they just can't conceptualize a relationship or sex without someone filling the role of "the man," and truly think you're going to be sexually satisfied by fingering her. I'm sure that works for some women (stone), but it's a crazy default assumption in my opinion, and I think this experience is what turns off a lot of lesbians to the terminology. Regardless, using a dichotomy of "topping" and "bottoming" as a proxy for penetration, who is "acted on," or submissive/dominance all feel like they are flattening lesbian sex into something more familiar and socially comprehensible, even though it doesn't translate well to actual lesbian sex. I think this discourse has poisoned how a lot of women see relationships and sex with other women and robbed us of our imagination as to what lesbian sex can be.
No. 379470
>>379468Samefag as
>>379370. Thank you, nonna! It’s driving me insane that lesbians are really categorizing themselves here by such retarded and inapplicable labels. Ngl when a lesbian uses those labels I assume she doesn’t actually have much sexual experience with women and has a warped view of lesbian sex
No. 379496
>>379468>>379470ok keep ignoring the part where i said it's not only about sex and also about dynamics. that includes nonsexual dynamics. reading comprehension in the toilets. or are you so stupid i have to spell it all out for you?
>>379445 i'm amazed by your ability to give me the benefit of the doubt. you don't have anything to say sorry for. thanks for being nice to me when i'm so sour.
No. 379512
>>379455>>379423>>379445>I've been the designated top in all my relationships and it's exhausting. If a woman can't plan a date or initiate sex or make her partner cum that's not cutesy bottom vibes uwu it's a character flaw and it gets old really fast.>But most lesbian women who identify as bottoms seem terrified of pussy (in my experience) and want to receive but won't reciprocate in any way. Like I go down on a woman and my 'reward' is just the experience of going down on her>women delegate me as a “top” (ew) because im 5’11This hit close to home. You all worded it perfectly. I've felt totally undesirable in relationships with women for similar reasons. "Top" and "bottom" are aesthetics (being tall, being androgynous) but they're also personality traits (not being a pushover, having active sexual interest in other women, actually asking a woman out) and if other people decide you're a "top" they'll mock you for wanting to be in the vulnerable role/taken care of. It kind of feels like being "the man" in a relationship. No woman wants to do all the work in a relationship for no reciprocation. At this point, a woman telling me she's a "bottom" is an immediate filter. Lesbian relationships cannot be heteronormative by definition, but it does feel like some women apply straight dynamics to their relationships and poison them. Are these women actually even attracted to other women? Are they just "bi" and wanting a woman to fill the gap between bfs?
Small rant, but this is part of why I'm hesitant around short women. I'm quite tall and without fail sub 5'6" women expect me to be the top every time and are visibly disappointed when I have feelings like any other woman. I'm not your "tall mommy dom" (yes real women actually say this). It's like short women who are attracted to tall women just view them as men who like girly things like they do. Hope that makes sense.
No. 379540
>>379379No nona you’re right. I’m not shaming anyone like this but I don’t think you can deny there is a psychology here and potentially problems that can stem from it, like
>>379524. I’m a “top” but only because every woman I come across wants to be treated as “the woman” (especially bi girls, who also IN MY EXPERIENCE are often those things you describe - passive, masochistic, unassertive, basically whatever female conditioning has asserted on them. Not being biphobic or whatever, that’s just what I’ve dealt with.) Honestly it’s the same psychology as women wanting taller partners and/or wanting to be physically smaller than them, they subconsciously stem a lot of their self worth on feeling ““feminine”” and even in homosexual relationships unless they’re a butch they hardly ever want to take what the deem “the man’s” role.
Real, enjoyable lesbian sex should not have these roles imo. Intuitive sex never has these dynamics unless it’s bdsm IMO. But perhaps I’m the weird one. I have more fun with fellow “tops” because I don’t have to deal with these weird microcosms of gender roles.
No. 379548
>>379512As a short woman who loves shy/vulnerable/“”bottom-like””/idk-how-to-word-it tall women the very best… hypothetically what could someone like me say to show that I’m not expecting you to be “the man” in the relationship and am actually pretty “dominant” (I wish there was better terminology kek) myself without coming off weird? I wish I could rent a billboard advertising that I am seeking a tall woman to pamper and treat tenderly kek. It’s my heart’s biggest desire.
This is an open question to any other anons too btw. I’m retarded about this type of thing and need advice.
No. 379572
>>379524You're so right, every single word of this is so real and I didn't connect the pieces until now. I have almost exclusively been with bi women and they've all expected me to be 'man-lite' even though I'm not very 'masc' or butch in terms of fashion or personality, and have never projected that or communicated that was what I wanted. There was this default assumption that they were to be desired and fawned over, and I was meant to trip over myself catering to their every whim and be a walking sex toy whose desires were completely secondary. You're not allowed to feel anything, not allowed to want anything, not allowed to ask for anything.
>>379552I hate the whole "lesbians never ask a woman out" thing so much. I've had women tell me they were "so into me" but I "never noticed" and frame it as a teehee useless lesbians thing, but I feel it's obvious it's because they think woman = passive agent who gets asked out, so 2x women = 2x passive agents who get asked out, oh no!! It's so frustrating. When I like a woman and think maybe there's a spark, I tell her. I started to wonder if there was something "off" about me because so many women will not do this, I am always the one to initiate things. It really does begin to feel like all the women in those sapphic wlw kweer spaces are just looking for a friend to go on picnics with.
No. 379622
>>379597How is it being a
femcel to acknowledge your experiences? If you’ve been lucky with your relationships that’s great but there’s no need to act like this isn’t a thing that happens.
No. 379639
>>379622Ayrt I kinda regret saying that. I’m sorry for calling you
femcels kek. I just find it frustrating when nonnas here talk so negatively about lesbians because I feel like it generalizes us as a whole, but I just reread earlier posts and saw that many specified that they were only speaking from their own experiences. Even though women have absolutely hurt me, one thing I genuinely appreciate about dating women is the lack of strict gender roles and just the compassion we have for each other based on the shared experience of being a woman. But it makes sense too that some women retain heteronormative approaches to dating with other women
No. 379699
>>379583damn that's harsh kek. bad and passive lovers are really ruining the mood in the thread today.
>>379548I feel this but if you wanna show that you can take initiative, then take initiative nona! be the one to ask her out or message first if you're using an app or maybe put the phrase "seeking a tall woman to pamper (and top)" directly in your profile if you're willing to be corny
>>379524you have been utterly wasted on all these subpar women. identifying as a 'bottom' when you're female is a warning sign for sure.
No. 379816
>>379597>bi woman calling lesbians incelsIs it a day that ends in Y?
>>379639>I just find it frustrating when nonnas here talk so negatively about lesbiansThis is the lesbian thread dipshit, are we going to complain about the straight women we've dated?
>>379548In real life or on dating apps? I guess "looking for tall women to pamper" isn't bad but you'd probably get a lot of attention from trannies. In real life, act normal I guess? Just be direct and take action and show active interest in her by planning dates and moving things forward.
No. 379910
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me n u? Forever.(bait)
No. 380102
>>379423>If a woman can't plan a date or initiate sex or make her partner cum that's not cutesy bottom vibes uwu it's a character flaw and it gets old really fast.Preach. I consider myself to be sexually dominant i.e. "top" and enjoy taking lead with those situations but if it's just me doing everything regarding our relationships that's a huge mental strain, the woman I'm dating should also take initiative with things like dates, vacations, cuddling etc. I might love giving sexual pleasure to a partner but damn I want a back rub, hugs and smooches without having to beg for them.
>>379512>5'6" is "short women"You hurt my feelings
nonny>>379524You practically described the woes of a "man lite" to a T, and worded why I prefer being single and just date around a bit until I find my perfect lesbian wife than committing into a one-sided relationship that's going to emotionally destroy me in the end, even if it takes me until elderly age. As cruel as it sounds, bisexual women are only good for a booty call and flirting, catching feelings is the biggest mistake you could make with them. They will
always pick a man over you and you will not be the person to change that.
No. 380127
>>380105>A lot of women will call themselves bi for dating a tif as well.Isn't a woman dating a TIF a same-sex relationship, even if it's with someone who doesn't want to be female? Unless you mean TIM/MTFs which wouldn't count.
>>380121>because women tend to be more attentive and particularly detail-oriented when it comes to taking note of others featuresDoes that even apply to most lesbians? I was pretty insecure about aspects my appearance but I still have a GF who is attracted to me because I try to "make up for" my perceived flaws in other ways. I also realize I scrutinize myself too much and I personally wouldn't mind someone with my physical flaws if she had the same mindset I have about trying to make up for it in other ways.
>Is drinking alcohol all the time the way to go?No, that's retarded.
No. 380132
Would you date a lesbian who had sex with or dated men in the past? Do you think it's unattractive but wouldn't say anything? Or do you not care?
I think a lot of women date men out of societal habit or just make mistakes and find it disheartening that other women consider women who've had sex with or dated men, even if it was just one, to be ruined.
>>380127>Isn't a woman dating a TIF a same-sex relationshipYes, but liberal lesbians will call themselves bi for dating a "man".
No. 380188
>>380103(Longpost because there are so many other posts and it got me thinking) In my experience bi women have treated me pretty well. Like if they gush about a male character or talk about an exbf I just see it as their natural sexuality shining through and don't take it as a slight against me because obviously, to me, there is a reason she brought it up, so it's just about encouraging her to tell me the thought that made her want to talk about it, as I would with any conversation.
I believe insecurity and lack of socialisation is to blame for pushy behaviours. The one bi gf who wanted to do more than I was comfortable with had been badly treated by her exbfs, and her dad had died when she was younger so her "default" was being taken advantage of in a vulnerable state, so as a result even though she loved me we were incompatible, which sucked because I liked her a lot, she was flirty and had a good sense of humour and we agreed on a lot. Last I saw of her she had transitioned with her FTM gf. Sighs. After much time had passed I had a lesbian gf where we met through a mutual hobby and I loved her smile, but eventually she wanted to do more than I was comfortable with. I learnt her dad had mistresses and saw prostitutes and her mum watched "lesbian porn", basically she didn't have an idea of what a positive relationship looked like. I really liked her but my attraction towards her faded the more we hung out.
I broke up with them both of course and they didn't like it and threw a fit. Because they were unsocialised. But yeah with them I got treated as the woman-whose-boundaries-can-be-pushed, and naturally I felt disrespected, but it's like they didn't realise how they came across because they'd repeat the behaviour after telling them to stop. Anyway, normally I'm treated as an ordinary girlfriend. I imagine the moid-lite treatment is also as a result of poor socialisation but that's not up to me to decide since I've never actually experienced it.
In my experience being subjected to a shoehorned role is not exclusive to bisexual women, the ones who default into roles are insecure about themselves, but that's not my problem so I read the red flags and GTFO. My most healing relationship has been with a bi woman where it honestly just felt 100% right. We could speak and joke about anything and we "recharged" with each other instead of feeling drained. I still think fondly about her and I even backread my old dairy not long ago where I'd written about how kind she was, and it never even "changed" or "got worse", it just consistently felt very loving.
No. 380269
>>380188>lack of socialisation is to blame for pushy behaviours. The one bi gf who wanted to do more than I was comfortable with had been badly treated by her exbfsThe fact that bi women are socialized by men is precisely the reason not to date them. They are poisoned. I'm sure there are nice bi women, but it's better for your peace of mind to stay away.
>Like if they gush about a male character or talk about an exbf I just see it as their natural sexuality shining through and don't take it as a slight against me because obviously, to me, there is a reason she brought it up, so it's just about encouraging her to tell me the thought that made her want to talk about it, as I would with any conversationYou are such a cuck lmfao. You sound like every woman justifying her porn boyfriend.
>>380152>>380161You guys aren't getting the post. It's not about bisexual women, it's about women who didn't realize they were a lesbian or otherwise experimented with men. A lesbian who has had been with a man or two before, basically. You know you can be straight or gay but have been with the other sex once or twice for whatever reason. It's common for lesbians to end up with men because it's expected for women to follow the script. I was asking if you'd be put off by a lesbian who's been with a man in the past.
No. 380301
>>380271Never understood this logic even as a lesbian who has never been with a man and did know I was gay by 5. I have been with women who swore they were bi but were actually straight as a rod, something some of them couldn't accept for quite awhile. You can have sex you're not into for all sorts of reasons, and it's incredibly common. There is a huge difference between a woman who has sex with men because she feels like it's her duty and doesn't enjoy it, and a woman who enthusiastically enjoys sex with men and pursues it whenever she can. Many anons seem to think these two women are the exact same. On that note…
>>380132I would and have, as long as I was sure she genuinely liked women and wasn't repressing her attraction to men. I have been with women who repressed their attraction to men, and it wasn't the attraction itself that was the problem, it was the self-denial. But I did date a lesbian who had been with her first and only boyfriend from age 13-18, and she hated him for most of the time and only stayed to please her homophobic family. She had been miserable and withdrawn with her boyfriend, but really blossomed once coming out, and afaik she's never looked back. I found she derived a lot of joy from being able to be with a woman, which was refreshing and fun. So I wouldn't write them off wholesale.
No. 380310
>>380305I don't think this is always true. Some women are built differently and direct touching doesn't feel good. I've even seen some straight women say that they can only orgasm when they hump a pillow or are on top actively grinding their clit on something.
I guess kind of agree with you because I think some parts of stone identity are weird. In the straight world "I never want to be touched because of trauma" would be concerning. It's weird that for lesbians you're almost encouraged to embrace it and make it your whole sexual identity. But at the same time this
>There is something wrong with you if you're stone, so why the fuck would it be a valid dynamic. It's not.Is so needlessly aggressive toward abuse survivors. No fucking wonder they end up doubling down on the stone identity when their boundaries get mocked. I've seen a lot of stones talk about girlfriends getting sick of the stone thing and suddenly getting pushy or touching them without consent and that's obviously horrible and makes everything worse.
No. 380404
>>380394Hey, im retarded and trying to find a clit too
Maybe we can find each other's
No. 380520
I detransitioned 2+ years ago and I'm in my first actually serious relationship with a woman. I don't know why I'm always nervous about having sex with her, I love the idea of pleasuring her but I struggle with letting her touch me. Somewhere the feeling of touching her breasts reminds me she can't do the same, I wish I could stop comparing my body with hers all the time. I feel like
>>380305 has a point, as in I'm not born stone - I enjoyed getting taken care of before - but it's obvious something is wrong with the way I feel towards my body recovering from everything. Is this just something time takes care of or have you stepped out of your comfort zone sexually to get over this type of issues?
Also, she's into pain being inflicted on her and it's an absolute turn-off for me, I can't picture myself ever hurting her in any way, especially sexually, it makes me feel sick. Better to just drop it, or talk it out?
No. 380521
>>380504I have no idea if she would go on a date with me. But when I asked her to help me check out she said "I'll check you out" and skipped along to the register. Was this a joke?! Do I just ask?
She also kinda looks like Jenna Ortega
She's honey sweet most of the time but then she'll say the most out of pocket shit ever. It just makes her funny because you never know when she'll manifest and say something halarious
No. 380678
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>>380649So happy… for you… nonna……
No. 380794
>>380394Idk why everyone is thinking you're retarded
They don't teach you anything about being a female in school, for men it's easy.
For people that live a sheltered life, even with pics it doesn't really explain much and it's complicated. I can't even successfully masturbate, I don't feel anything so it's like wtf is wrong? And then I ask for help just like this and get told I'm a man or I'm retarded. Sucks.
No. 380818
>>380794I think it’s because it varies so much. I see
>>380458 and am inclined to agree with it because the moment I started puberty I noticed where to touch through my underwear to feel good. Most people just discover it this way. Plus when you’re sexually attracted to someone you can literally feel the erectile tissues in your vulva get engorged, and that’s what arousal is - an itch to touch that particular spot. But I’ve realised through various /g/ threads that some people have reasons that might not make it so easy, like not having ever been sexually attracted to someone and/or having anatomical features that make it more complicated. Having a short outer and inner labia + no clitoral hood(?) means my clitoris is literally right there and the first thing you notice. But I could imagine that someone with longer labia and a long clitoral hood might have more trouble navigating when not aroused.
That being said I think the “female genitals are complicated” thing is overblown; it’s just that sexuality from a female perspective isn’t shoved in your face like male sexuality is and a woman’s specific parts are seen as something to disregard if it’s not something that can be penetrated for a man’s pleasure.
No. 380869
I feel kinda bad because I think no one will ever like me back. I mean I think (in my head, which might not be true) that I don’t fit the standards of anyone no where. I mean, I’ve been told I’m pretty and all. But ever since I became severely suicidal at 12, the rest of my teenage years I felt so lonely and a coping mechanism i developed, was skinwalking women I liked and convincing myself that I am them. And I think if someone would ever go through my stuff they’ll just have an idea of the people I’ve liked and not of me. And still everyday, even if I tried my best to get better it feels like I’m so numb to relationships in general. I don’t think I’m capable of participating in a relationship, only watching from the sidelines and copying everything they do, fuck, over the years most the stuff I bought was because I girl I liked also bought them. This is creepy and weird sorry. Maybe it’s kinda like that thing where they say you like people because you think they have something you lack so I thought all these girls had things I didn’t (smart, normal, friends) so that’s why I kinda made this weird thing of copying them because at the same time it kinda made it unnecessary to date them because I would adquire everything I like about them and at the same time convince myself that I was improving.
No. 380873
>>380795No.
There is no advantage to coming out unless you get a gf.
No. 381003
>>380994a
femcel? being a man-hating feminist (based), having short hair, wearing man clothes. personally i wouldn't mind if more straight women looked like lesbians.
No. 381280
>>381133I don’t want to encourage other butches to change themselves just because they want to fit in, but I feel you nona. I am currently at the “futch” stage (if you will) induced by working with homophobes, so I try a little, but you don’t have to go all the way. I still don’t shave my legs, armpits, or mustache. I just put my hair up, maybe with cute clips and wear modest androgynous-type womens clothes and even then, not always. You can always experiment with how much you want to conform, but don’t lose yourself. I noticed myself worrying about little things in my appearance and monitoring myself much more often. I’m not sure if people are nicer to me now, but I definitely would not trade how I was treated before for the discomfort being fully feminine is. I’m sorry society makes us feel this way. Another thing is to look at butches with fulfilling social lives. Charisma and confidence carry them far, and they’re happier for it, it’s inspiring.
No. 381329
Just had my first heartbreak. I really liked this girl and I thought she liked me too. Our daughters are friends at school, and we ended up close as well. I helped her escape her abusive moid, and gave her a place to stay for a year while her and her daughter were homeless. She knew I was a lesbian from the start and she expressed that she’s not sure what she is, but it’s not straight. We went on unofficial dates, but every time I asked about if we should be together, she said she needed time to think about it. Totally fine, she just escaped a bad relationship, I gave her space. We’ve kissed and even had sex, but we haven’t officially started dating. Today, she told me that her moid got out of the psych ward and she wants to give him a chance. I asked her why the fuck she’d give that pos a chance, and she said she doesn’t want her daughter to grow up without a father. She’s moved out now so I can’t stop her from seeing him, but fuck, my heart is destroyed. I thought we had something special. I’m not gonna abandon her because I know this guys gonna hurt her again, but it sucks. I feel played with.
No. 381338
>>381329>I’m not gonna abandon her because I know this guys gonna hurt her again, but it sucks. I feel played with.But you realize this will just go on forever, right? She will always chose the
abusive moid over you, and she will continue to give him chances, and you are just gonna let yourself be dragged around like padding the cushion her fall?
No. 381365
>>381338>She will always chose the abusive moid over you, and she will continue to give him chancesI agree with this anon. Women like this are a lost cause. You shouldn't waste your life on a woman who wants to enable
abusive men.
No. 381518
>>380521update
she randomly walked into my department to grab something, called me the love of her life and casually left. I'm just going to ask her next week
No. 381746
>>381745I have a lesbian friend who is a bit of a homewrecker, men definitely think they’d be ok with it until they aren’t. Especially if the woman is GNC and more attractive than they are.
I think that the idea comes from the fact men see PIV as a dominating act onto a woman, that a woman is “submitting” by doing that, so they consider only other men as prospects for taking their possessions.
No. 381905
>>381792I had “crushes” on unattainable guys before realising that I would panic if any of those guys liked me back. Would call myself “lithromantic asexual”.
I just can’t cope with being a lesbian so I’m never coming out.
No. 381913
>>381412I’m so sorry anon. There’s too many of these women who are currently in their internet-induced experimenting phase. They probably have genuine fun and butterflies when dating us, but it’s only because it’s a new experience for them, not that they’re actually attracted to us. So we end up having to deal with the heartbreak. You weren’t moving too fast, she was just dishonest with you and herself. I hope you can find a lesbian that’s truly in love with you soon.
>>381792I can’t find any genuine lesbians near me my age that aren’t taken or much older than me because of this. I don’t take anyone at their word when they tell me they’re a lesbian because 75% of the ones I’ve met have turned out not to be.
No. 382113
>>382026Regarding the ~unattainable male celebrity crush~ the main point, from what I’ve read, is that romance and intimacy are completely out of the equation so there is supposedly a certain “safety” that comes with having one- the would-be-lesbian in that scenario is enabled to project whatever qualities she finds desirable onto i.e. a fictional character/celebrity and can take her fantasies with them however far she likes but would likely feel uncomfortable if said individual were to actually make a move on her and initiate something physical/real (maybe because it’s takes the power away from her in that a real person would be real and not just a concept that is about as deep as they bothered making it? I’m not entirely clear on that either)
I’ve also seen people argue that the “unattainable crush” is comparable to straight women’s girl crushes or men’s man crushes in that they differ from their usual orientation but shouldn’t
disqualify a lesbian from being a lesbian anymore than it would a straight woman from being straight, which I find more understandable a concept
No. 382124
>>382026In theory, the idea is that if you are not actually attracted to men, then when someone (or society, at large) is pressuring you to come up with a man you're attracted you, you may just blurt out a man who is completely unattainable (like a celebrity) because it satisfies everyone's desire for you to express attraction to men, but is also "safe" because you know it'll never happen. But the comphet doc fakebians distorted this completely, which is ironic because crushing on unattainable men is famously associated with young straight girls who want to project their fantasies onto idealized men because there's no risk of disappointment or heartbreak. The original concept of comphet was just acknowledging that because lesbians are women, and society pressures all women to center men, lesbians may struggle within patriarchy in unique ways that hadn't been considered much prior to Rich's essay about it.
>>382113The second argument makes more sense to me too. No one thinks twice about straight people joking about being attracted to celebrities of the same sex unless they are talking about it frequently and consistently. But that caveat is what a lot of these "lesbians" are refusing to take into account. A one-off comment about some Kpop guy being cute is one thing, but if every single day is man crush Monday, then, well…
>>382121This will probably depend a lot on your location. Either way, it's probably worth a shot. I've dated some pretty racist white women before, but I was living in towns that were heavily skewed white (like 80%.) When I moved to a more multicultural town, it wasn't a problem. So I say try it out, but just be ready to nip it in the bud and leave if anyone gets weird.
No. 382134
>>382121Like
>>382122 said, being attractive is much more important. Lesbians aren't (usually) as cut-throat as gay men about race. Years ago I used to get gloomy and think being Arab was hindering my dating/sex life, but ultimately, I just wasn't at my peak. I dressed like shit, my haircut didn't suit me, no real skincare routine, only sporadically used the gym. Once I fixed those issues, I was good to go.
No. 382277
>>382188You're not fucked, nona. I'm
>>382134 and trust me I'm like, a 6 on a good day, tops. Just try to implement little changes when you can. A good haircut for instance can make a huge difference. As for photos, that's easy: there are tons of guides on YouTube on how to take good ones. Looks are important, but they're not the whole package. Honestly, confidence is probably what will get you to actually close the deal with women. I've been on dates with super attractive women who had next to no confidence, and it's a bit of a turn-off. Your looks will
attract women, but they won't help you keep them. That's down to personality and your general aura. Keep your chin up, you can do this!
No. 382309
>>382303AYRT, c'mon don't spew that blackpill shit here. Like I said, looks are only part of the puzzle. Being such a massive downer is a huge repellent and it'll hold you back much more than your looks. Speaking of which, have you even
tried improving yourself? Don't hit me with the "But I'm a 3 because some spergs website said so, I may as well just curl up and die!" if you've not even tried improving yourself. I'm only at a 6 (a rough estimation btw, don't put such massive stock in these ratings) because I accepted that I looked like shit and committed to improving myself to the best of my abilities.
No. 382342
>>381792>as far as I'm considered lesbians don't exist until you're 27+KEK that was the age I accepted after years and years of pretending that I'm "bi" because I couldn't accept the fact that I wasn't attracted to men. My "comphet" was daddy issues and trying to look for validation from them since it's exhausting to be hated by 50% of the population and being a disappointment to your father. Sometimes it's hard to tell apart the need for platonic acceptance and the need for romantic and sexual attraction.
>>381924Yep, 35 and almost all of the "lesbians" I knew in my early 20's are now married to or dating men but still love to brag about how gay they are for making moidlike comments about women's breasts.
>>382090No, it's not some innate "wahmen love deeper!!" thing. Same sex attracted women are more likely to have experienced abuse and ostracizing during their formative years due to their same sex attraction which accumulates to their minority stress and trauma, so mental illness is also more common. This is backed up every single study conducted on the topic of the prevalence of mental illness in homosexual groups. For example, I dated a BPD-chan and that was full on her severe childhood trauma and developing unhealthy coping methods, not because her chromosomes made her the magical ~le feeling gender~. You're much more likely to develop mental instability if you grow up being told you're a disgusting degenerate because of your sexuality.
No. 382417
>>382391This claim that lesbians commonly watch IRL gay porn has never made sense to me. I get porn addiction can escalate and I knew coomers in high school who watch
anything (legal) because they were bored/curious, but gay male porn is made for men just like straight and lesbian porn is. I also have a few anti-porn gay moid friends say that gay porn is often violent, so I don't buy that it's "less patriarchal" and therefore more palatable for lesbians.
No. 382483
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>>382391there are no fakebians on reddit dot com
No. 382525
>>382484It's an American cartoon, I've never watched it but the "there's no war in Ba Sing Se" meme is just pretending a factual statement isn't true. So
>>382483 is saying Reddit is full of fakebians.
No. 382540
>>382523Yes, I was diagnosed with OCD but quit therapy before we ever talked about how it manifested in regards to my orientation. If I passively think an anime boy is cute it sends me into a death spiral thinking this is it and my lesbian phase is finally over. It got so bad I decided I must be bisexual, but the thing is, with something like this, you will always find something to obsess about. When I was trying to meme myself into being bisexual, I would spiral every time I couldn't find a man attractive. In that case, my anxiety that I was a fake bisexual turned out to be true, but it still wasn't a healthy way to navigate those feelings. I was constantly testing my attraction, looking at pictures of famous men, trying to prove to myself I liked them, but nothing. No matter how I have identified my orientation, I have had impostor syndrome/obsessive thoughts about it. All you can do is try to parse your real attraction from the anxious looping thoughts. I still hesitate to call myself a lesbian because I have some deep feeling like I'm faking and will be proven wrong, but every time I try to force attraction to a man, I can't. (But then I wonder if it's because of the anxiety, or because lots of straight women aren't attracted to just any man, or because I want to be proven wrong, or because men are just ugly in general, and so on and so forth.) I know it's OCD because I have similar thinking patterns about other things, which is how I got the diagnosis, but it's still hell to deal with. Really hard on relationships, too.
No. 382573
>>382556Hubris.
>>382561>Maybe febfems/kinsey 5s aren't like this, but I never met one in real life.Oh, but they are. Febfems tend to have a bit of an ego about their choices as they're basically polilez 2.0 and any other bi woman who swears up and down she's "basically gay" is basically a lying ass bitch. It's not how sexuality works when you're bi, and that's fine. But I hate being told that men will
never factor into things when you're tangled up with a bisexual woman. It's simply not true, I've heard many horror stories and been part of a few myself. Enough to know I'm strictly les4les.
>>382562Same. That word has a meaning, and they're diluting it, just like they did with queer (I hate the word queer but still, it
used to have a fixed definition). I don't get how the same people who tell you being bisexual is the enlightened sexuality and better than being a nast genital fetishist and then when they talk about themselves it's gay-gay-gay-gay-gay.
No. 382685
File: 1709407387963.jpg (1.44 MB, 2252x3052, FIlUcvgXIBAlOLb.jpg)
Do any of you have a favorite femslash ship? Bonus points for more obscure ships you love. Please no weeb/anime stuff, I would go to the yuri thread if i cared about it.
No. 382786
>>382523>The fact I am even questioning this must mean I am straight.Relatable. I've known I'm a lesbian since childhood, yet I keep denying it and I'm actually really wary of openly labeling myself as one because I'm afraid that tomorrow I'll magically come across the man who awakens my heterosexuality and then I'll be one of those embarrassing bisluts who faked being a lesbian, catfished everyone and ruined the lesbian reputation. I'm a gold star in my 30's, still no attraction to men, a female only dating history, absolutely no desire to have sex with them or marry one, but I can't let go of this paranoia. It's definitely due to lesbianism being so highly policed and constantly being redefined as anything else but "exclusive sexual attraction to women".
>>382540>If I passively think an anime boy is cute it sends me into a death spiral thinking this is it and my lesbian phase is finally over.This too. I absolutely can't stand those waifu characters made for men and I get told I'm not a ~real lesbian~ for it. I like both female and male anime characters and love reading BL for example, but I don't fantasize about me having sex with the male characters nor have I ever found an actual 3DPD celebrity moid desirable in my entire life. Yet even that's not enough of a proof. I honestly envy gay men for being able to be accepted as gay even after 50 years of marriage and children with a woman while lesbians need to live by a goddamn code.
No. 382797
>>382793Yeah no, sadly it doesn't go away with time and it's one of those things you need to actively work towards and as evidenced I don't really have any advice to offer. I'm in a long term relationship but fully committing (like marriage) is still impossible to me because I don't want to be the evil opportunistic bihet who dumped her girlfriend of 8 years for a man.
>>382794I'm pretty sure growing up in a very homophobic environment affected my self esteem, I'm still not even fully out to my family (I don't really keep contact with them at all) because I'm still afraid of them going "glad you got over that awful phase" if I'm ever suddenly converted. It's not going to happen and it's stupid and all inside my head but you know, that's what homophobia does to a bitch. But online communities definitely increased it tenfold because the identity politics are fucking crazy, both the "you can't be a lesbian if you held hands with a boy in middle school unless you're from a 3rd wold country or if you aren't fully committed to a separatist female only life style" and the "anyone can be a lesbian regardless of gender and sexuality, it's just a state of mind" sides do nothing but cause brain poisoning to everyone who just wants to eat pussy in peace.
No. 382822
>>382818You are free to think whatever you want of me. And even if you're right and I turn out to be a bisexual coping, I still wouldn't change my mind about women who like 2D men being sexually attracted to real men by consequence. It's delusional to think that
>you like anime boys>you like BL>your brain bothers you at night calling you a fakebian it causes mental anguishAnd think that maybe, just maaaaaybe, you might be a little bit bisexual.
No. 382826
>>382786Speaking from another 30-something: Get out of these communities. They're full of immature zoomers and developmentally stunted young millennials. As soon as I got a girlfriend I lost all interest in being in these spaces often.
>>382813??? The post said she's not attracted to the 2D men. I don't believe in "lesbians having husbandos" (unless they genderbend them I guess), but she literally says
>I like both female and male anime characters and love reading BL for example, but I don't fantasize about me having sex with the male characters nor have I ever found an actual 3DPD celebrity moid desirable in my entire life.I have favorite male characters and BL ships too, but I don't think it's hot or want to fuck them. I just like gay stories and good characters.
No. 382829
>>382816>no heterosexual women that are obsessed with GLNot true, I’m straight and I used to obsessively scour mangadex for GL
(by women, the male authored ones are weird) and binge read them through the night when I was like 20. I had a bunch of GL story ideas too kek
No. 382892
>>382890Good on you, I'm the same, I try to only make friends with other irl lesbians and I've got two I talk to on discord. No group chats or anything like that. Public facing lesbian spaces are full of polilezzes and other freaks.
>>382889Yeah I was definitely talking to you kek
No. 382898
File: 1709509830778.jpeg (27.03 KB, 259x194, IMG_9902.jpeg)
Good lord. What in the fresh hell is happening in this thread?
No. 382914
>>382888>I can't find a single good community on reddit without some DUMB MOTHERFUCKER posting a screencap of it on the mtf thread and getting it overrunI doubt that anons posting about your super obscure subreddit is what's causing to get overrun, that' just what happens to any women's space on reddit nowadays once it hits a certain amount of followers.
Anyway, you should take a break from the gender stuff. On tumblr you can ignore people that post about gender bs or just block the terms. Not sure what other social media platforms you use, but ignore any trans related topic and only interact with the most apolitical topics, yes they'll pop up but as long as you show no interest the algo will stop pushing it on you.
Basically just touch grass or at least stop, why spend all this time in a lesbian thread that decided to talk about…BL for some reason
No. 382921
>>382917oh wouldn't it be nice to talk with other lesbians about our lives perhaps about relationships dating and stuff wait no it's the 10000000000000000000000000000000th retard slapstick fight started by the mentally ill women displaying more obsessive behavior and thought patterns about certain subjects compared to the literal self admitted ocd people. don't you ever get tired? every single time i open this thread it's bivestigation time here
>>382920more lesbian than this thread
No. 382930
>>382914It did happen, sorry you weren't with me to see it lol but from the day it got posted on the mtf thread we got a huge influx in troon sob-posting about how the meanie terfs in the sub won't accept them. It used to get less than five posts a day before it was "featured" here. It's still a a fairly nice place but you can feel the tide turning as it gets more infested.
>why spend all this time in a lesbian thread that decided to talk about BLI don't, I came here because I wanted a breath of fresh air and sanity, only to find more bullshit. I shouldn't be surprised anymore but I remember when these threads were better and I had my hopes up. I can't believe I'm being lectured on lcf of all places on how to curate my online experience.
>>382917Literally my safe haven
No. 383031
>>382934Same. I went on some LGBT event at the office for Mardi Gras week to get out of my dull call centre job for a couple of hours. Some stereotypically lesbian looking women shared their coming out stories with me personally and were like “so what were you doing in 2017 (when marriage right were extended to gay people in Australia)? I think my answer was stupid and made me look closeted.
I’m not out at work because I’m single and I’m don’t want my straight woman boss to see me as a predator. I once was out an another job and got treated like a creep for it.
No. 383083
File: 1709583918391.gif (8.58 KB, 150x150, dizzy.gif)
>>383082I am a khhv, so I wouldn't know. I was hoping that when I do get a gf, it'd be her who would mostly lead(?) the kiss.
No. 383094
>>383074I have short fingers and I feel a little insecure about it, but no woman has ever said anything negative about it. Although I notice women with nice hands and long fingers, most of the women I’ve been with also had small hands for some reason. I don’t think it really matters, at the end of the day
>>383080I don’t think not being able to stick your tongue out far would matter for kissing, honestly. I wonder if it would affect sex, though? But I’m sure it’s something you could still work around. Most women, in my experience, don’t like THAT much tongue. I feel like a bit of a weirdo for how much I like sloppy french kissing kek
No. 383175
I fear to be called bait or a fake lesbian, or a tranny, incel etc for how pathetic this sounds, but did anyone else only date men because they thought they weren't good enough to date women and didn't want to 'burden' them? I was always conventionally unattractive so when I had my first boyfriend at 15 I latched onto him because I was afraid that I'd never get to experience love especially for someone like me. Then we broke up and my only other boyfriend happened when I was 23. I broke up with him because he wanted to get serious and by that time I knew I didn't like men but felt the need to stay with men like I was self-harming, and yet I felt guilty for leading him on and even though he was very nice, I did not want to spend my life and force him to spend his life with someone who didn't fully love him. I know this is a common theme among lesbians for feeling guilty liking women, because they (we) don't want to come off as predatory and I felt it tenfold and it has always persisted throughout my life, which is why I dated men almost like I was punishing myself lmao. I feel somewhat 'washed up' now that I'm almost 30 (28, 29 soon) with zero experience with women at all. I honestly feel like I doomed myself to be with men for the rest of my life, since again I feel too sorry to burden a woman with my baggage, which has only increased because of my stupid decisions. I seriously wished I had just stayed celibate, I have no idea what to do, how to even approach a woman romantically at my age, especially because of my age and my appearance, or how to find other lesbians or anything.
No. 383205
>>383198Perhaps some people were “going through the motions” with regards to relationships and had sec with men because it felt like the right thing to do.
I’m a 30+ virgin so I’m on the other extreme, I don’t even know if I’m asexual or lesbian but don’t plan on experimenting with women since that sounds objectifying.
No. 383275
>>383262Dude this woman is insane and you know it.
>but she like tweaker adderall rage smacked me in public because I playfully knocked off her snapback like as a jokeInsane, absolutely insane. You need to gtfo NOW before you end up addicted to the crazy BPD high-low rollercoaster. She has hooked you because she's nuts. If you stay on her fuck rotation you'll get more and more crazy until you're just as unhinged as her (which sounds hot in theory but it's not hot in real life, it's sad.).
No. 383738
File: 1709879354391.jpg (61.49 KB, 1280x720, monmothma.jpg)
I just started watching Star Wars Andor this week and GOOD LORD she's kicked my attraction to older women into overdrive.
No. 383785
>>383775either you're saying
>I personally will go to bat for school shooters, rapists, and violent wifebeaters>I'll defend my subhuman moid with every fiber of my being>I'll never forgive a woman for anything because their attention isn't valuable to me>but for some reason, I expect other women to do this for me and I'm super mad about itor you're admitting you're a retard moid larping to make lesbians feel insecure because anything you say about women includes you.
>And before you ask, I don't know if I'd ever experience unconditional love for someone. then come back and complain once you have anything to offer women in return for the devotion you're mad you won't get, kek
No. 383786
>>383775some women here sure always find a way to talk about males and in general talk and act as miserable as possible about lesbianism like isn't there enough sadness about it already with homophobia and all that do you have to ruin it for yourself (and others) too
fucking LIGHTEN UP
No. 383813
>>383785>then come back and complain once you have anything to offer women in return for the devotion you're mad you won't getIt's not just me. Women don't devote themselves to women at all. Every lesbian I know is barely attracted to women besides whatever fictional character they're simping over and can't move forward in relationships besides childish picnic dates. Grown women. Every one I've met has barely any interest in having sex with other women/calls themselves asexual and any relationship they're in just constitutes watching anime together. You can get pissed at me if you want but can you prove me wrong? I think being born a lesbian is a romantic death sentence. How many of you are in passionate committed relationships? Or are you just settling for one of the 10 lesbians in your area?
>you're saying>I personally will go to bat for school shooters, rapists, and violent wifebeaters>I'll defend my subhuman moid with every fiber of my being>I'll never forgive a woman for anything because their attention isn't valuable to meI'm not straight. I don't do any of those things. I'm talking about the way straight women love men and how lesbians love women. Can you prove me wrong? I have never once in my life seen it. I'm not trying to get more than I give, I'm just making observations. But you know straight women devote themselves endlessly to men who treat them like shit anyway.
Lesbian women do not love women like straight women love men. Women upthread don't even want to live in the same fucking house as their wives. Half this thread is venting about selfish sexual partners who have no real interest in pleasing a woman. You think unconditional love between women exists? Can you prove it?
>>383793>why the fuck would a lesbian not value female attention and love?Not to the extent straight women value male attention.
Maybe I'm being too negative in the lesbian thread, but I'm being serious. This has been my experience 100% of the time with everyone I have ever met. What other conclusion am I supposed to come to?
No. 383841
>>383837It's ok, nona. Yeah, we did IVF (reciprocal) and it was quite pricy. I'm very fortunate that my business has done well and I was able to afford this for us. We're in the UK and one round of IVF can cost around 5-6k, with costs rising all the time due to the economy tanking. Reciprocal can cost easily double that, depending on where you go and what level of care you want. It's a privilege I never thought I'd be able to afford. I do know lesbians who did it the old-fashioned way: with a craiglist ad and a turkey baster. I get it, though. Being able to go through pregnancy together and see your children be born is phenomenal.
>>383839There's this thing called "free time" and "moderation". I don't have social media, board culture is what I'm used to and what I like. So this is where I come when I get some time.
No. 383857
>>383813>Every one I've met has barely any interest in having sex with other women/calls themselves asexual and any relationship they're in just constitutes watching anime together. You can get pissed at me if you want but can you prove me wrong? you should stop hanging out with minors and barely legals unless you are one too. no woman i've ever dated has been obsessed with anime in her adulthood.
>I think being born a lesbian is a romantic death sentence. How many of you are in passionate committed relationships? Or are you just settling for one of the 10 lesbians in your area?funny you say that, because a couple of women i've dated in the past broke up with me because they felt i wasn't passionate enough! (i am weird about expressing my feelings, but that's another topic.) lesbians have different expectations from relationships than straight/bi women do and if we ever do settle for the only lesbian we know it's for good reason (safety, lack of local lgb spaces or funds to move somewhere, etc) unlike straights/bis who have millions of scrotes to choose from, but the bar is so low they'll settle for the guy who's willing to cook dinner once a month and regularly showers or does his own laundry.
>>383851i was expecting to. my culture is very conservative and at this point any family member who hasn't shunned me just avoids any talk of marriage around me. some of my aunties will throw comments like "oh you're such a pretty girl why don't you wear makeup/dresses/etc." my parents are divorced and i lived with my mother who took her own time adjusting to me but has come around, and i've introduced her to my current partner. i never officially came out to my father, but i'm sure he's figured it out by now and doesn't talk about relationships or marriage with me. he and i were drifting apart ever since he got remarried, so his opinion doesn't matter to me.
No. 383863
>>383783No. Even women that think nobody should wear makeup won't be rude about it. Don't stress about it.
>>383832To share something nice, my girlfriend and my family get along swimmingly and I'm ecstatic about it. We've not been together that long but she's managed to capture the hearts of everyone she's met in my family as quickly as she captured mine. My grandmother asks about her and my father invited her to our next family vacation. It's great to watch in real time as the people I love notice what I love about her.
No. 383876
>>383832>If anyone else wants to post nice things, please feel free to add on. This thread has become a depressing, crabs-in-a-bucket, PVP zone lately.I plan on coming out to my family and tell them about my "friend" is actually my girlfriend. I think they already know, but they're normie lib types so I'm thankful the worst they'll do is be cringe about it.
>I nearly missed out on it by listening to "forever alone" doomers who only ever mentioned lesbianism in conjunction with misery.Leaving online radfem (emphasis on online, not activism and reading theory) and pinkpill spaces was the best choice I made for my mental health. I figured even if I ended up alone it was better to not surround myself with that shit making my self-esteem worse. The moment I got a girlfriend I stopped caring about trying to Gen Z doomer
femcels. I'm not a babygay anymore, I'm tired of spaces full of them.
No. 384051
>>384017Quit it cold turkey. Every time you want to open a 4chan thread, distract yourself with something else. Find a new community to post to. Just make a tumblr account with 0 followers to scream into the void or something, talk to chatgpt, just anything but sinking into that abyss.
>>384041>The lesbians from 4chan I've talked to were all racist, some flavor of political extremist and implicitly pro-tradshit.This is my personal experience as well. Most of the lesbians from 4chan that I've come across have been terminal porn addicts on top of being extremists and conservative gay pickmes (the "I'm one of the good ones" type) at the same time, usually with stunted social skills and severe emotional issues to the point sometimes their lesbianism boils down to a mix of mommy issues and internet inflicted coomerism. I avoid them like the plague because they're the edgy imageboard equivalent of the teenage twitter radfem polilez with a k-pop pfp.
No. 384290
>>384281I thought I was asexual until I was in my late 20s because I took antidepressants for 10 years.
Been scared to date since I feel immature compared to women my age due to my lack of romantic experience. I will be potentially making relationship mistakes that my peers have learnt from over a decade ago.
On the plus side I have had plenty of time to develop self awareness as a result of my self imposed isolation.
No. 384299
>>384292I mean, I’ve been into girls all my life and have only dated them, since 14, and I’m bi (sorry). That being said I think the obsession with being a “virgin” is dumb, and people should be able to move at their own pace with any milestone, especially when it comes to sexuality and relationships. I agree with
>>384290 in that I think having better self-awareness is good. It’s way more preferable than those bi and straight women who got fucked over by a scrote in their teen years and left with emotional scars. Happens to some lesbians or asexuals too, because they want to rush into relationships or sex without understanding themselves first, so they don’t feel like they’re falling behind. Also, some people grow up in countries where dating as a lesbian is difficult at best and dangerous at worst.
No. 384340
>>384331>I’m 18>I'm not interested in hookups and would like to date to marry. Will it seem odd if I put that on my profile?I wouldn’t put that you’re dating to marry in your bio if you’re only 18, even if you feel that way now. It comes off as kinda intense and you should focus on getting dating experience first. That doesn’t mean you have to hook up with strangers
My advice for dating via the apps is to immediately cut off anyone who brings up sex before the first date in any capacity. That’s one of the easiest ways to filter out people just looking for hookups
No. 384453
>>384340>>384428By younger, I just mean adults under 30, not minors. I've tried to change how I feel but I can't. I know it's wrong to feel this way, but I have doubts when women around my age say they're lesbian. Even with my friends, all of them just ended up dating men, so I'd rather not take my chances.
I'll just say no hookups so I don't come across as too intense. Thank you.
No. 384462
>>384453It's normal for lesbians to be attracted to older women (when I was on dating apps I got a lot of attention from 18-23 year olds), but I don't recommend going for anyone older than 21 because older adults who go for teenagers (even if "legal") are horribly immature at best or predatory at worst. I don't think age matters as much when you're older but one of my former friends had an 11 year age gap and it was super creepy and healthy. I don't believe it's somehow okay when women do it, I've been groomed when I was 15 by adult women and one of my girlfriend's exes was taken advantage of by a woman too old for her.
"Fake lesbians" have existed for every generation, when I was in high school in the 2000s every lesbian I knew later married men, and I just recently ended a friendship with a 34 year old bisexual who is now on the "lesbian with comphet" train (she's obsessed with male celebs). Just like having to vet your matches for serious relationships/no hookups, you have to vet if anyone is fake or not like 24-30+ lesbians do.
No. 384490
>>384453> I have doubts when women around my age say they're lesbian. Even with my friends, all of them just ended up dating men, so I'd rather not take my chances.I'm seconding this reply
>>384462 and gonna say it would suck if you missed out on a connection with someone who thinks like you and is on the same level of maturity and ready to experience life the same way just because of the spectre of the LUG. Even straight people end up having relationships and being left for someone else and even older women can be immature.
No. 384611
>>384498A little insensitive lol
>>384583I wasn’t groomed per se but when there are limited options you are more likely to encounter another SSA woman with an age gap. I had a bisexual friend group in secondary school and we met another mixed-gender lgb group while out that were a little older than us. The oldest girl was a butch in her 20s that flirted with all of us and joked about taking our virginities. She ended up sexting my friend who was not ready for this at all and was creeped out. Another thing is that a lot of “straight” women still do weird things, I’ve had much more inappropriate encounters with older women who at the very least present as heterosexual than with lesbians.
No. 384619
>>384583I played sport as an adult which is where the fit dykes are. The single ones weren’t my type though.
I don’t know where else to find a consistent supply of homosexual women.
No. 384778
>>384711I think stretchmarks are attractive and sagging is inevitable. Especially with big boobs. I prefer saggy naturals to plastic balls.
>>384629I admit I was being a bit of a doomer upthread but after seeing everyone argue I thought about it some more. It's probably easier than ever to find other lesbians. It's not illegal to be openly homosexual in many countries, it's not a threat to your life either, and the internet is full of local groups where you can "hunt" for them. It's an active effort to find other lesbians but it's easier than ever imo, I don't think being negative is correct. You'll find someone, or at least a nice social circle. Just be patient and keep trying.
No. 385094
>>385080>and you think it’s like… dishonest to text another girl on it at the same time?I don't? I didn't say that at all? Again, I said
>Would it be shitty of me to like this butch lesbian’s dating app profile just so I can ask for her IGAs in, I was wondering if it would be rude to HER that I was wasting her time. Pls nonna, or if it's 2 nonnas, stop making me repeat myself. I'm gonna follow >>384980's advice anyway.
No. 385116
>>385111Where do you find them. They’re most commonly tifs tho, at least these are most visible
Even if I did find one I don’t know if it would do anything for me I feel like I can’t feel anything for anyone and things would still feel empty and full maybe I shouldn’t even try
No. 385121
>>385099I'm the same way, I think it's because I am a terminally online edgy woman. It's probably pretty normal to want a girlfriend who shares some things in common with you.
>>385107Huge turn-off for me is when a woman tries too hard to emulate the whole "let's go on a picnic and hold hands" hyper-sanitized lesbian trope. Or when she makes a ton of references to memes online about U-hauls and "useless lesbians" and cottagecore. They'll never have sex with you and will evetually she/they anyways, so I cut my losses early.
No. 385128
>>385125I thought it was a red flag in general. I would love to go on a picnic first date with the girl I like and aim at at least holding hands because I'm unsure how much she actually likes me and to what extent she's okay with getting sexual.
>>385127I wish she would say this to me.
No. 385134
>>385107turn offs: bisexual, had sex with a dude before, insanely low self-esteem, no hobbies or interests, they/them, uses the word sapphic or wlw, listens to taylor swift, poly (whore), below 5'3", obsessed with celebrities, into woo woo bullshit shit like crystals tarot etc, can't drive, unemployed, likes gay male media, uses tiktok and uses tiktok lingo in real life, realized shes a lesbian through the infamous lesbian masterdoc (bisexual), too feminine,….theres more im forgetting
No. 385186
>>385134Some stuff from this list I fit into:
-likes gay male media (I mean I really like mxtx but I don’t like yaoi and stuff like that I got into it because I liked Chinese stuff)
-listens to Taylor Swift (I actually don’t like Taylor Swift but my last fm is saying that I listened a lot to her because I liked a girl who mostly listened to her so I stalked her Spotify and made myself listen to all her playlists so it looks like I have 200 scrobbles of Taylor Swift.)
-too feminine (I don’t think I am I mean, personality wise, but I like jfashion and I like cute things, but I don’t frequently use makeup)
Idk sometimes these lists make me feel insecure when I vaguely fit into these categories
No. 385229
>>385134>too feminineIt's over lolitanons
Really though, 90% of women have at least one trait on this list. Good luck I guess lol.
For me, instant turn offs (but not dealbreakers): plays DnD, much shorter than me, any pronouns beside default, likes mostly media made for men/all male cast/gay male shows, talks to her parents too much, super tra, Amazon basics/Temucore goth girl/grunge aesthetic or pink cutesy plastic shit
Deal breakers are not having hobbies, doesn't have any in depth interests/not passionate about anything, no life skills, can't drive, neet, obese, low sex drive, male sympathizer, isn't over her ex, bad hygiene, sex worker, poly, openly attracted to men, "bottom"
On the other hand, what are your green flags?
Inversely, I love women with short hair, I especially love the ones with hands on hobbies like sculpting, repairing, hiking or foraging, and I think it's cute if it's paired with a goofy nerdy hobby like video games or collecting something random. I like when she's knowledgeable about random things. I'm a turboautist so sociable women with large friend groups/social connections are super attractive (for many reasons, but one of them being that they can talk to anyone and they're talking to you), I'm above average height so a woman who is taller than me is so exciting, I know it's superficial and dumb but I just like it… And number one is good sense of humor and doesn't hold grudges, doesn't talk about people badly, can make me laugh, I know it sounds generic but sense of humor is so individual and some people are really humorless. I like spontaneous women who like roadtrips and traveling.
>>385221Yeah, as long as she hasn't mostly dated men and won't make me hear about men she thinks are hot while we're dating. I would really prefer to date a lesbian though. If I met a woman who checked all the boxes I liked and happened to be bi I don't think I'd really care. Everyone has problems or flaws, I'm not going to demand a perfect woman. I already see myself in some of the turn offs people have posted, so I try to be open.
No. 385253
Has anyone else here felt like a girl was too good for them? How’d you deal with that insecurity?
Like, this girl is so pretty, chill, sociable, goes out with her group of friends often, has more experience dating, works out daily, has a full-time job and is going into grad school. Meanwhile I’m a total autist, barely any friends, living with parents, still in this lame part-time job, acne scar-ridden face, don’t work out at all, butch but the short awkward nerdy type, and this is the first time I’ve dated someone. I’m not sure what she sees in me and she could definitely do better. (I don’t voice this to her, I know shitting on yourself is unattractive)
On the other hand maybe she’s into my personality? We share a few interests, she tells me I’m sweet, cute (because of how I talk), cool (for volunteering at soup kitchen-type stuff), also I couldn’t resist sending paragraph-long texts about my interests and historical facts I know, I felt bad but she thought it was really interesting and wanted me to educate her more lol.
And she has beautiful instagram photos where she’s all dolled up, but her social media accounts are private so at least I know she doesn’t care about public approval. Plus she’s kinda normie in aspects, but very much alternative in what she listens to and how she dresses, so maybe she’s into weirdos. Still think she could do way better than me though.
But anyway I’m trying to sleep properly, get back into exercising, work on my skills, and make myself more kempt/stylish so I can look better for her. Plus despite all the attractive lesbians she must have seen, she went for me so maybe that means something?
No. 385262
>>385259>Are you on a time limit or something? Will you die if you don't have a weird intellectual gf in 24 hours?Yes
>Try grad school.What do lesbians like to study?
No. 385286
>>385107Jealousy and clinginess are huge turn offs to me, my personal hell is meeting friends and having to come home to someone who's making a scene every single time I meet other people and wants to do everything together like we were joined at the hip because she has no other social contacts. I also don't like judgmental people who constantly talk shit about everyone they consider "weird" or "annoying" because it's exhausting to listen to and I don't really care. Just generally dramatic BPD-chan traits make me lose interest immediately. When it comes to looks the only thing I find genuinely unattractive is obesity, I'm perfectly fine with chubby but BMI 30+ just doesn't look good on anyone and it's a huge health risk. And likewise underweight/ana-chan isn't attractive either.
>>385281Yeah for sure, what the fuck. I'm a dweeb into vidya and roleplay games and shit why am I only getting straight girls?
No. 385290
>>385286>Jealousy and clinginess>has no other social contactsdamn, I am like this.
>judgmentalyou're on lc.
No. 385292
>>380276>>380275Here's a new idea I just had: "Material sexuality" (what people DO with sex acts) and "spiritual sexuality" (what people FEEL with sex acts) are different things and therefore a straight/gay person has the potential to be bisexual/pansexual on the material level. Like, eating pussy or sucking dick does not necessarily mean you're [insert label] per se.
>>380292She's inferring that the Anon she quoted isn't getting any pussy and therefore has accumulated a ton of bitterness.
>>379469Apparently bi but Taylor Schilling (the actress) is definitely dating a woman at the moment.
And Laura Prepon (the actress) has been defined as a lesbian icon, even though she's most likely straight and exclusively dating men.
No. 385313
>>385107Definitely the biggest turn-off is a woman who enjoys the bimbo aesthetic. As in deliberately dumbing herself down, having little to no skills or hobbies and generally infantilizing herself. I hate the aesthetic that comes with that too, the Lolita/super girly crap like please dress your age. That "I'm just a girl"/"girl dinner"/"girl math" shit that was popular all over the internet made me want to kill somebody.
Other turn-offs but I've never met a woman that doesn't have at least one of these: Obese, bisexual (includes "febfem"), terminally online, uses discord, uses TikTok, uses Instagram, no sense of humor, sjw, uses they pronouns, troon lover (obsessed with gender shit in general), prefers having male friends/"I get along better with guys"/male panderer, agoraphobic, low sex drive, pillow princess, refers to herself as top or bottom, lazy, libfeminist, wears makeup, unintelligent, can't drive, no job, weeb, socially retarded, has 4chan edgy 14-year-old boy type of humor, suicidal, very into fashion, too feminine or deliberately doesn't do things she perceives as being unfeminine, enjoys wallowing in self-pity and self-deprecation, adult who enjoys children's media, e-girl/tiktok wannabe goth aesthetic, likes Hello Kitty, collects anime figurines or funkopop, likes Lana Del Rey, religious
No. 385323
>>385292Nah, I'm sick of people trying to taxonomize everything this way. We don't need shorthand to communicate our sexual histories and functionally seems like reinventing the split attraction model.
>>385313Genuine question, what kind of woman do you like? Like outdoorsy normie lesbians?
No. 385329
>>385313“Obsessed with gender shit in general”
The call is coming from inside the house
No. 385338
>>385319What is the appeal of this? How is it hot for a woman to do nothing with her life? Like
>>385331 said, is it a findom fetish thing? If I lived with a woman who did not contribute to household chores, stole my money and had the nerve to yell at me I would lose my shit. Gotta be a mental illness on both sides. The smelling bad thing is especially egregious. I would not let that slide even if she was the hottest woman in the world.
No. 385374
>>385313You're gonna reject a woman over Hello Kitty of all things?
>>385286Jealousy is annoying because it means they don't trust you, but clinginess is the best. Need a woman who needs me and will embarrass herself for it. I guess it's only cute if you like her back, right? Self aware clinginess where she wants to be with you all the time and always wants your attention but logically knows she can't make you do that so she has to force herself to hold back is ny ideal. I want a woman who has all-consuming love for me. I want to know someone is looking forward to seeing me, I want to know it makes her day when we talk. I'm not bpd but I do love intensely. Mild, boring love isn't for me.
No. 385376
>>385367>if i had a girlfriendHmm I wonder why you don't have one…
How old are you? It might be no big deal if you're a teen but any older than that, that situation is not fun. Speaking as someone who has lived among slobs, it's hell. Could not imagine being sexually intimate with a slob either lol.
No. 385408
>>385407Gonna see it next week with a date.
>I saw yesterday an article that said some man went to go see it and got arrested because he pulled his dick out and started jerking off in the movie theaterThe official A24 account for some reason used that incident to jokingly market the movie, makes me sick honestly. If I hadn’t already bought a ticket I’d probably skip it and pirate just for that kek. But I don’t want to ruin my date’s enjoyment by mentioning anything about that incident to her.
No. 385440
>>385412>>385432>coming onto lolcow to paint yourself as the beacon of normalcy and being well-adjustedDon't you have a girlfriend to go fuck or something?
>>385274I think lesbians gravitate towards all STEM fields equally, in my experience. Art, too, but that's where you meet the genderspecials. Almost never econ, health, business, or law. Even though dog groomers are stereotyped to be lesbians I've never met one in veterinary school. I imagine the super normie lesbians probably are business or health adjacent, though.
No. 385476
>>385474What if it's just homemade videos from lesbian couples.
>>385475Wouldn't this be more objectifying? Demanding pics or vids from your partner whenever you're horny.
No. 385486
>getting along great with girl
>she loves going to bars, traveling to concerts, beaches, and other locations hours away
>I like staying at home, occasionally go to places nearby or an hour away at most, hate beaches and concerts
Fuck is this gonna become a dealbreaker? I’m happy to support her doing whatever she wants, I can stay behind while she has fun with friends. But I get the feeling she’d like me to go to these places with her? Should I try to be open-minded, get over it and go with her if she asks?
I have gone to beaches, other states, countries before but only because I had to. I find the traveling process exhausting and have gotten sick sometimes, I don’t find beaches very fun, plus being in a packed crowd at a concert made me nauseous.
But at the same maybe I should go? Because she wants to go to the same things I go to, so it’s only fair I participate in what she likes too. And she deserves a gf who can be there with her.
No. 385491
>>385467Watching porn is a huge dealbreaker to me, I'm not a full-on radfem but I've had an unhealthy with relationship with porn as a teenager and would like a partner who understands the issues of porn and doesn't support it.
>>385476>What if it's just homemade videos from lesbian couples.Homemade porn is less bad than industry porn, but there's always the risk that it's a leaked sex tape or revenge porn. I think the concept of "ethical porn" is a meme, it's not worth the risk. I have a high libido and can masturbate fine without porn. My orgasm isn't more important than witnessing what might be nonconsensual or leaked revenge porn.
>Wouldn't this be more objectifying? Demanding pics or vids from your partner whenever you're horny.No, it would be if you were pressuring your girlfriend to send photos, but I've exchange photos with women when we were mutually okay with it and took a picture that looked good. We both ask each other permission just in case we're not in the mood or are checking our phones in a public place.
No. 385556
>>385543God I laughed my ass off at this, it looked goofy as fuck complete with the fake exaggerated porny moaning. IRL porn just doesn't do it for me at all, it's so awkward looking.
Anyway if I was your girlfriend I would find this obsession strange, not so much the fact that you're watching porn in general but having this one extremely specific niche paraphilia you clearly are overly enthusiastic about to the point you're explaining it in such a detail and breaking the rules and posting links to pornhub
and ban evading to do so is what makes it sound like an addiction.
No. 385586
File: 1710644101327.jpeg (749.74 KB, 1284x856, IMG_1321.jpeg)
Do any of you remember your very first fictional girl crush? I really liked Sailor Moon as a kid, and Uranus was my first ever girl crush. Although, in my country, they rewrote the script so that her and Neptune were cousins/sisters or some type of related. I remember thinking “wow, my cousins have never been that affectionate with me” and I only learned after leaving my country that they were actually lesbians
No. 385590
File: 1710645251885.png (406.86 KB, 306x1096, 223123.png)
>>385586I was a horse girl and she ran the horse archery minigame in OoT.
No. 385598
File: 1710646720511.png (261.78 KB, 540x366, harumichi.png)
>>385586She was mine too! I was in kindergarten. The first episode I saw of her was the one where she's a runner & racer (and she meets Michiru/"Michelle" as her "cousin"). Which was confusing because it didn't make any sense for the plot and felt obviously off. The scene where she saves Michiru (picrel) also confused me because it reminded me of the "prince saving a princess" trope and made my heart flutter, but I knew they were both women and allegedly cousins, so I didn't get why I felt that way. Shortly thereafter, I demanded my parents buy me the VHS tape with that episode on it and I wore out the tape and had to repurchase it. My mom said I would pause and stare at Haruka and started asking about if two women can get married, but I actually don't remember asking that. I remained obsessed with Haruka for years, she was my first desktop background and I drew her all the time and would hang up the drawings. When I found out she was canonically a lesbian, I was so happy and became a hardcore Harumichi fan and even made a Neopets page dedicated to it. My mom says it's part of why she wasn't shocked when I came out at in middle school. I am forever grateful to her for being my gay awakening kek.
No. 385611
File: 1710652328740.jpg (560.19 KB, 1170x870, 112962826.jpg)
>>385586>>385598Kek, same as you nonnas. Except I was an ESL preschooler/kindergartener watching vhs tapes of the english dub and had no idea what was happening or being said 98% of the time, but one thing that stood out to me clearly was that these two girls were in love. Picrel was a shot I remember particularly entrancing me. I must’ve been lucky as hell that the tapes my parents got me were all from s3(too bad they sold them or something). So yeah, imagine my shock looking it up years later and finding out the dub made them cousins lol.
It’s strange that despite my 4yo self knowing they were girlfriends and having a major crush on Haruka, it took me 10 more years to realize I was even into girls (even more embarrassingly, I was on tumblr and thought I was asexual before that). It probably didn’t help that starting 2nd grade I wanted to be a tomboy and dress like one, but every time I expressed that my dad would shut it down because “only lesbians do that. You’re not a lesbian are you?” kekkk. Both he and my mom kept pressuring me with traditional femininity crap and most of my clothes were shit they picked(they still hated that I kept wearing jeans lmao). I randomly rewatched Sailor Moon in my late teens and somehow it helped me come to my senses. Even if Haruka technically didn’t help me realize I was gay, at least she was my butch awakening. I tried to have elegant short hair like hers but eventually I just chopped it into a crewcut and got a punk look. She’s still my first (fictional) love though.
No. 385656
>>385529>Well I'm not that worried about the ethics of the videos because I mostly watch from couples that got a fuckton of them so I think the chances of that being non-consensual is low.also this is retarded reasoning. lot of so called "homemade porn" is not homemade at all, porn companies know people like to watch "homemade" porn so they produce and mimic videos that resemble that. there is no way of knowing if these are real couples or actors who make "homemade" porn for money for some company.
the fact that there is lot of videos doesn't automatically mean it is non-consensual either. what if they regret it later? what if they currently are having financial or substance abuse issues that's making them do this? are they mentally ill, traumatized and that's making them behave like this? how old are they, if they're under 25 then they are physically too young to actually think about long time consequences of posting videos like this online because their brains aren't developed enough? there is tons of issues with homemade (or "homemade") porn aside revenge porn alone.
No. 385684
I hate my ex girlfriend so much. She is so fucking righteous and thinks she is above all. She thinks she is a fucking scholar and always tries to medfag or nitpick everything I do. She has BOTH BPDs and probably schizophrenia. I've known her for a while but we dated for three months. The worst three months of my life, and I've had fucking cancer. I became favorite person-itized and treated like a saint. Which was cushy for a while don't get me wrong but I could not do fucking anything. Since I was viewed as a saint, anything I did got ridiculed for hours and hours in a circle jerk coddle session asking if what she's feeling is "
valid" in regard to me doing whatever the fuck I want. (Within reason, obviously, I'm not talking to girls or anything just literally living my life) Don't text her back within 20 minutes? 10 literal walls of incoherent texts from her sperging out thinking she did something wrong when all I'm thinking of is the video game I'm playing. I set my phone on Do Not Disturb and it pops up in the chat. I must've gone on DnD because of her!!!!! Time to flood my fucking phone with accusations and retarded trauma dumping. 6/7 days of my week were me waking up to texts of her saying she's sobbing or having a breakdown or fighting with her step mom. I would've loved to help her through these things but I felt as if my only purpose was to do so. As I was "the only person who could calm her down". She had a fucking meltdown because I wasn't texting her enough while she was at WORK!!!! FUCK OFF!! I cut shit off with her after I hit my breaking point and cordially explained how she had been treating me like a therapist fuck doll savior. It feels like she just wanted me to fix her. She blocked me on every platform you can think of. Pinterest? Seriously? She unblocked me on Instagram and messaged me after a glorious relaxing month without her. I've been sparsely texting her since, today was my breaking point. I send her screenshots (because its fucking funny) of a drug addicted moid, who is genuinely incoherent in his comments, arguing with me about his extremely apparent child neglect on IG and she responds, " y u picking a fight over someone kid tho" Your medal is in the fucking mail! Your cookie is almost done in the oven!! Seriously go fuck yourself cunt, get your fucking priorities straight. A moid is fully neglecting his child and I'M in the wrong for calling him out? I know for a FACT she would start dating me again at the drop of a hat due to how insecure and lonely she is. Even though I've told her to her face my stomach literally drops when I see her name pop up on my phone and I dread responding to every text she sends me. See will never see this, as she is too fucking retarded to use anything other than TikTok at this point. kek
>>385586Marceline from Adventure Time 100%
No. 385698
>>385684Stop texting her altogether then lol, she was shitty and
toxic but you're not helping yourself by doing that and purposefully starting shit to get angry at her. As it is right now, you made yourself compatible with her.
No. 385704
>>385656I can't believe this retard is doubling down on watching porn so much when she has a girlfriend.
Imagine being so desperate to see pussies twitch that you go on a site that profits off hosting rape and CP videos and making up copes for how the videos you watch are totes consensual when even if there's a huge risk of being revenge porn. Just record your own pussy at this point if you need it to coom so badly.
No. 385707
>>385703My bad, I thought you texted her first sometimes because of the
>I sent her screenshotsand didn't get why else you'd talk to her when you started by saying she's a moralizing tiktok user. Good luck on cutting contact and moving on!
No. 385714
>>385586Pretty sure mine was Kagome from Inuyasha.
Also who else was shipping Haruhi and Renge from Ouran Highschool Host club? Or Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket with her two friends? Please kill me.
No. 385731
>>385721Who gives a shit what some dumbass sperg thinks, most of the characters we've posted about are underage
Also I find it hard to crush too because I'm a shipper, I'd rather they be together and self insertion is cringe
No. 385733
File: 1710703709021.jpg (89.56 KB, 626x646, 565765735.jpg)
>>385586i'm gonna be real cringe and moidlike for this but i was obsessed with jessica rabbit as a young child, i mean like 5-years-old young. i was always mesmerized by the scene where you can only see her leg between the stage curtains.
the first fictional woman i thought about when i learned to masturbate was ann darrow from king kong kek
No. 385738
File: 1710705311730.jpg (122.92 KB, 600x770, 823318424.jpg)
>>385731>Also I find it hard to crush too because I'm a shipper, I'd rather they be together and self insertion is cringeI like doing both. There are some couples I only ship, and there are some other couples I enjoy self-inserting into one of the girls. I was really into Love Live! as a teenager and I think the EliUmi ship is prime example of this. I used to find both of them attractive so I enjoyed the shipping but also self-inserting into either of them. Then other ships like for example NanoFate I mostly only liked Fate and couldn't give any shit about Nanoha, or some other ships like ShizNat I 100% respect and don't self-insert or anything. Just depends on the characters and the nature of the ship to me, I guess.
No. 385739
>>385738Shiznat is perfection.
We need more of it.
I love psycho lesbian stalkers and their unaware targets.
No. 385740
File: 1710705954464.gif (153.61 KB, 992x794, e_21.gif)
>>385739Bless. I still think about ShizNat every other day despite being so old. I'm a sucker for the psycho dyke trope and I wish they would come back to media in general. I don't care if it's "bad representation", I just want to see women burning down the world for the woman they love. I guess Homu or Chikane are the next best things but Shizuru is just on another level.
No. 385744
>>385741That reminds me I liked May a lot too, probably my favorite main Pokemon girl. Then I played 4th gen games at 13-14 and got into
CynthiaxDawn thanks to unsupervised Internet access.
No. 385746
>>385740Non non biyori and Kiniro mosaic had a kind of psycho lesbian vibe in a comedic way
And I really wanted sasami-san@ganbaranai to be more yuri
No. 385749
>>385748Starlight revue was a godsend.
It felt like the first time I watched Aikatsu, I was hugely into rinao. Same vibes, and yeah Banana is based, she's kind of like Rika-chan/Homohomu, based.
I finally finished Higurashi and I heard aome whispers of something like Rika/Satako or something which I can see, but I think it has something to do with Unineko. I really wish they'd remake it since Bernkastel/Lambda was pretty popular and paycho lesbian.
No. 385754
>>385752That's shitty, but that happens all the time. We wouldn't be wanting more if it was perfect.
Higurashi is a good watch, and with so many AUs there's no way they aren't gay in at least half of them.
No. 385779
File: 1710713077652.jpg (620.59 KB, 1600x900, 15422463875751.jpg)
>tfw I never got into fictional lesbian couples because they were all two normie superfemmes in both looks and behavior and instead I just self-inserted into straight couples as the male character and thought I was a man because of it and had a long Aiden phase until I peaked years later
>tfw this was in the 00's and nothing has changed in lesbian representation since then
No. 385780
>>385779I think it's better for the lesbians who like femmes, I love a cute femme, but yeah there should always be more yuri.
Try manga, there's a lot more out there for you.
No. 385782
File: 1710713669717.jpg (52.3 KB, 460x518, azx7goz_460s.jpg)
Hi, hello. I'm just a visitor for now here. The other day, I freaked out in /ot/ about which sexual orientation I should use. Here's my original post
>>1927955
I think I am open to being labeled as bi but just traumatized + extremely strong preference towards the same sex. It really scares me to offend or hurt lesbians by mislabeling myself, yet at the same time, it is very hard for me to be turned on by men as a general rule. In fact, if I sit here and try to remember, I can say in full confidence that I have never been turned on by a male in all honesty. Hence the dilemma.
I was told by a lesbian on that vent thread to maybe come here for clarity, if anyone is interested in helping me out of course. No pressure! But ye, it's a mindfuck for me and I'm scared I'll be wrong no matter which way I'll go in terms of labeling myself correctly.
Thanks in advanced and happy st pattys
No. 385783
>>385782Ah oops, it didn't copy and paste. Here it is:
"I don't know what to label my sexual orientation. I am female and after so many times of trying to concentrate or try to feel something, anything, towards male bodies.. I realize that I just can't do it, no matter how hard I try. They either cause me to feel sick to my stomach at worst, and absolutely nothing at best.
With female bodies, though, a completely different story. I get aroused even when women are doing nothing sexy at all, or doing something benign.
At the same time, though, men have had sex with me, and I did tried things with them, so I think lesbian is out. I don't want to offend people or make them think I am trying to be something I'm not, but I don't know what to do or what to label myself that is as unoffensive as possible.. yet lets me reject males in peace.
I can't let another man touch me ever again. If one tries, I might just kill myself, I'm not kidding."
No. 385785
>>385783First off labels don't really matter, you like females and not males most people would call that a lesbian. Some gay men have had sex with women and are still considered gay. What you label yourself is different from how others label anyway.
Fact is that if you feel like you're a lesbian, then you probably are. Unless you think men are women. Your own personal history and past with finding your sexuality doesn't devalue your attraction one way or another. Now you know.
No. 385788
>>385787Idk what wishy washy shit you mean.
That's literally what I said to her, if you can read.
No. 385792
>>3857881. Labels are not subjective
2. Being a lesbian is not a "feeling"
>>385789If you've been sexually attracted to men in the past you're not a lesbian. The fuck is this bullshit?
No. 385796
>>385794Seethe and cope.
Labels are in fact subjective.
>Do you want to label the black and white cow black or white?The cow is both so why try to define it as one or the other?
You think so rigidly that someone who has once been attracted to a thing can never change? Did you once like a food and get tired of it? Nah, you still like it.
Your argument is counterintuitive. As if people can not grow to like a thing.
You think factually that preference never changes.
No. 385797
>>385787>go to the questioning sexuality thread.Oh fuck, I'm so sorry! I thought this was the thread because I saw "lesbian" and thought this was it kek.
Where is it, if you could point the way? Really sorry for being in the wrong place.
>>385785Thank you. I absolutely do not think men are women, and I find transwomen to be disgusting throughout, if that's what you're trying to say. Males can never be female.
It's sad but one time I forced myself to look at photos of post-op pics of transwomen's surgery pics down there and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. None of the so called "vulvas" crafted in the surgery looked real. Made me want to vomit looking at it, unlike natural biological vulvas which makes me immediately horny when looking at it for a hot minute.
>>385787>If she's gone through periods of sexual attraction to men in the past she's also not a lesbian in the present.That's my big issue, though, I have never once in my life felt that sexual heated feeling towards men. I remember in middle school when girls was like "oh isn't he cute!?" and saw them point to one guy and yeah he wasn't bad looking at all and I said so. And they were like OH YOU LIKE HIM and I was like "I guess I am! This means I am straight/bi." and never thought more of it.
>>385795I think you're right. In the end, I can't even stomach the idea of going on yet another date with a man without wanting to cry, so I am just gonna be with women exclusively and that's that. I guess it doesn't have to mean homosexuality if that's not what I am, and that's fine also.
Thanks y'all, sorry if I'm in the wrong thread.
No. 385803
>>385798>>385800I think part of the reason is that if I say I am bisexual, that it signals to other women that I can never love them the way a lesbian could. And of course that's stupid because I've definitely known bi women in serious LTRs with women before, but I'm just worried of being seen as something negative, in a way.
I've been in love with women before. I've dated women before and wanted to get serious with them before, but they would choose a man or some ex instead of me. So it just.. didn't happened.
No. 385805
>>385802I don't use Tumblr, litte Tumblrina.
The fact is that you're so stupid you can't consider the fact that sexual attraction is a label and labels are subjective. The fact is that in this moment she is not attracted to men, and appears to feel she was never attracted to them. Having sex with a man/a sexual encounter doesn't make you straight.
Go back to preschool.
No. 385809
>>385807Ahhh, so that's what it is.
Did wittle baby fall in love with a bislut and get hurt?
Probably left you because you're retarded.
No. 385811
>>385808Not my fucking problem. Call yourself a bisexual or get shat on.
>>385809Go jerk off to your M/M porn, bishit.
(infighting) No. 385813
>>385803ayrt, I actually really appreciate your honesty but it kinda sucks that you'd be willing to be dishonest about who you are in order to manipulate the way that people see you.
>>385808I get you and it sucks but it's still frustrating that we can't all just be honest instead of trying to control every aspect of how other people see us. If you say you're a lesbian, then the average man on the street is going to make a bunch of assumptions about you, and lesbians have to live with those in order to be honest about themselves. So why is it that bisexual women can't just say they're bisexual and live with the assumptions that other people make? If the assumptions are wrong, then you will prove them to be wrong through the way you live and act.
No. 385815
>>385811I'll watch M/M porn while eating pussy. I'm still a lesbian. I don't really understand how someone can be so stupid.
You can't even think about it. You're just so enraged and seething that you can't comprehend basic facts. How unfortunate that humanity gave birth to such a dunbfuck.
(infighting) No. 385818
>>385817Not really.
I think that thinking that people who think about sexuality as being black and white are braindead.
No. 385820
>>385813>but it kinda sucks that you'd be willing to be dishonest about who you are in order to manipulate the way that people see you.I don't want to be dishonest, though, hence why I'm stressing over this. I think, in the end though, I think it's better I just say I'm bi who leans towards the same sex and just don't feel at all interested in being with men ever again, which is the honest truth at this point.
I don't want to hurt lesbians so thank you for giving it to me straight, I appreciate it.
No. 385824
>>385821You know, it's crazy, but when I sit and think about this, the vast majority I've dated previously have all been lesbians. It seems hard to find a bi woman who is open to the idea of having something serious with me or another woman. Makes me bummed out tbh, because I've def been crazy for specific bi women before but they did not wanted to be out of the closet at the time so it was just bfs or hubbies for them.
I don't blame them ofc, living straight is living life on easy mode so I get it.
>>385822Thank you honey, I will do that.
(learn2integrate) No. 385825
>>385819What the fuck kind of dumb shit is this? You're literally retarded.
So you're telling me that someone still going through puberty and thinking that a male is attractive, then grows up to find themselves only attracted to women is therefore bisexual? But they don't like men.
I mean really, what's the point of arguing with someone like you? You have no real argument.
Mine is this:
People are not one dimensional. For people that socialize with others on a regular basis and don't live in some kind of sjw anime world they realize that people grow and change. This includes sexuality, which is really on a spectrum.
Look at people who prefer butch/femme, what the fuck does that say about people? Stupid ass. Preferences change, sexuality can change, labels are subjective.
Please give your argument. And maybe don't just attack my character, but give a reason.
No. 385827
>>385825>So you're telling me that someone still going through puberty and thinking that a male is attractive, then grows up to find themselves only attracted to women is therefore bisexual? nta but yes that's literally the definition of bisexual. not liking men doesn't change that if you're still horny for them, tons of straight women are the same way.
>sexuality can changeyet you never hear about anyone turning straight…
No. 385829
>>385826So some girl who thought she was a lesbian actually isn't.
Then that means some girl who thought she was straight might not be.
Next.
That wasn't actually reasoning, it was just you saying something that you saw. Can you bring any real evidence of what you're saying?
Here's mine:
If someone is attracted to butch females, isn't that kind of bisexual? Because they look like men?
No? Why not? Oh because it's a spectrum, huh? Almost like preference is just as subjective as labels.
You young cunts are so fucking obsessed with labels that it's pretty much controlling your life.
No. 385830
>>385829>If someone is attracted to butch females, isn't that kind of bisexual? Because they look like men? No? Why not? Oh because it's a spectrum, huh?no because butches are still women. sexuality is defined by
sex, not how someone looks
No. 385832
>>385827You don't?
Lmfao. Yes, you do.
No. 385833
>>385829You're literally making no sense. Instances where bisexuals think they are lesbians exist, and instances where bisexuals think they are heterosexual also exist. And what do you want for "real evidence"? There is no objective scientific way to test the sexuality of a person, so the best we have is to observe their sexual behaviors.
>If someone is attracted to butch females, isn't that kind of bisexual? Because they look like men? If you actually get wet for butches because you know that they are female, that's pretty homosexual. It's like men who have a trap fetish, they only think it's hot because they know the thing has a dick, which is pretty gay.
>muh spectrumStop acting retarded and go back to twitter please.
No. 385834
>>385830Yes. That's exactly right.
So now when we think that someone who no longer likes men and only likes women, what do you come up with?
Right, she only likes one sex. Females. That means she's a lesbian.
No. 385839
>>385838>Because I disagree that if someone has ever been attracted to a male then that doesn't mean they aren't a lesbian?Yes, as a lesbian is someone exclusively attracted to females.
>And the instances where this happens to lesbians doesn't?I never denied that lesbians who had sexual encounters with men and realized they don't feel sexual attraction to them this way aren't lesbians, but you are arguing about women who actually felt sexual attraction to men in the past, and saying that because they don't feel that way in the present then they are lesbians. And I disagree with that because that's an extremely bisexual thing.
No. 385842
>>385839It doesn't matter if that's a "bisexual thing". The fact is that it can happen and it does. It's so delusional to believe that just because the majority of people who are like that are bisluts that a lesbian could NEVER have that happen, it's just conceited and delusional. The world doesn't revolve around your perception of "I think that ONLY a bisexual could feel this way."
That's not how it works.
No. 385850
File: 1710718589948.png (315.93 KB, 861x421, 1000001357.png)
>>385848Okay. Where in the definition is there a time specificity?
No. 385854
>>385853Nice job trying to ban me for disagreeing with you.
What a great safe space you have.
No. 385870
>>385858is this what they mean by
Toxic Yuri…
No. 385895
File: 1710730315796.jpg (782.16 KB, 3280x4096, ef169fe5ba3bbf222fdf8527e40d87…)
Nonas in this thread are fighting like this
No. 385897
File: 1710730527683.jpg (12.98 KB, 195x315, 1431622606780.jpg)
>>385895I wish I could grossly LARP with a nonna from here about being cute anime lesbians like in that one fujo pic with their catboys.
No. 385901
File: 1710731565614.jpg (104.81 KB, 1072x869, farmer on farmer crime.jpg)
every time i come back here there's always some crazy shit that's gone down with deleted posts and the farmhands got involved. respect.
No. 385910
>>385907A therapist also told me I might be a lesbian because I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was really young. Anyways, I think it's bullshit and it's really evil to plant this in a lesbian's mind when she's vulnerable. Think about it nona, if this was true and there was a causal link between abuse and orientation, wouldn't there be some data to support that by now? What would make one girl being abused by a man end up a lesbian, and a different girl end up being straight? It just doesn't make logical sense to me. There is strong data to support that gay men and lesbians are disproportionately
victims of childhood abuse, but there hasn't been any causal link established and there are several alternative explanations (such as children who seem "different" being targeted for abuse). Ultimately, they do not know what makes a person homosexual, but the science indicates it's a confluence of factors and can't be chalked up to any singular environmental, genetic, or psychological cause.
No. 385914
>>385907>I’m retarded beyond beliefyes.
take your self-hate elsewhere
No. 385917
>>385907>women make me so viscerally uncomfortable that the thought of one touching me makes me physically illYou’re just straight.
Please take your homophobic rhetoric somewhere else.
No. 385922
>>385919Not really. Sexual abuse can cause all sort of paraphilias in the
victim, and as long as the
victims aren't cooming to illegal shit I think it's plausible to respect how they cope with their abuse. I think we also should talk more about how homosexual behaviors are multi-factorial and can stem from abuse, socialization, genetics and fetal development.
No. 385938
>>385907I'm going to take this as genuine.
You may find these helful. They helped me:
>The Survivor’s Guide to Sex by Staci Haines>The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis ^This is a great starter book so if this list seems overwhelming, start here. It talks about male and female sexual abuse
victims that are straight and lesbian and mentions how abuse cannot affect your orientation in the end. And I agree. Abuse acts the same way as drugs, the brain gets used to the adrenaline and the dopamine threshold is heightened, which means the brain thinks it needs continuous stimulus which may lead to acting out behaviours and developing paraphilias to cope. The brain needs to be weaned off these intense feelings and coping mechanisms and these books here help with that.
>Outgrowing the Pain by Eliana Gil>The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz>Allies in Healing by Laura Davis focuses on partners>Can't touch my soul: A guide for lesbian survivors of child abuse by Donna Rafanello^You may or may not relate but I included this here since you're asking in the lesbian thread. There are other women who were abused as girls by female family members in this book. This book talks about healing from that that you may relate to.
>Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Onno van der Hart, Kathy Steele ^This book is actually extremely useful and talks about difficulties healing with focus on the body i.e. meditation with focus on the body can make symptoms worse and lead to dssociation and repeating the cycle of self harm.
>Hyposexuality and Hypersexuality Secondary to Childhood Trauma and Dissociation Mark F. Schwartz ScD & Lori Galperin MSW and LCSW (10.1300/J229v03n04_06)^The only paper on hyposexuality (the "asexual" feeling) that I have found. You may find it useful.
Also JoAnn Loulan's books Lesbian Sex and Lesbian Passion provide good sex education around safe sex, sexual healing from abuse, and moving forward with partners and alone.
(You can find all these on zlibrary or annas-archive. However I can upload them somewhere if you cannot find them.)
As for the "sexual abuse made me gay?!?!" thing, I can attest even though the books above already debunk that freudian theory with actual studies, here are real life examples: I have had a male friend who was abused by women as a boy and he is gay and has a healthy romantic relationship now, however I also had another male friend assaulted by a woman and he is straight, I listened to him for 3 years every day and he was able to heal and find a girlfriend. A boy at school who was homophobic turned out to actually be gay but his brother had sexually abused him so he had hated men and sex, but once he healed his natural orientation was homosexual. As for my sister, she was never sexually abused, and turned out bisexual, so orientation is not determined by abuse, but rather abuse affects how you see yourself and view sexuality.
This is from The Courage To Heal, I have this highlighted.
>Reclaiming Your Sexuality>“For years I thought of sex as a way you hurt people. And for me, it wasn’t just the abuse. As a young woman, I was enraged about the objectification of women that I experienced every day. I hated anything to do with sex and sexuality. Gradually, as I went through my healing process, that started to change. Now I love sex and think it’s wonderful and empowering. For me, sex is now connected to spirituality and health and joy. But it’s taken a long time and a lot of effort to get there.”>The perspective on sexuality that is presented here applies to both heterosexual and lesbian women. Although there are some differences in the difficulties these groups face, they are far outweighed by the similarities.I wish you good luck.
No. 385966
>>383080>Nta, but would a woman with a tongue-tie also be a dealbreaker for someone? kiss me first and ill be the judge of that (wink)
>>383262bipolar girls are a whole another level. had a hookup with one and the sex was indeed intense. not intimate, but intense. just pure porno material. theyre open to doing whatever you want in bed because they want to please you. but for a relationship theyre a rollercoaster of emotions and at the beginning its awesome but then it ends very badly. if things start great be a little wary. its the stage where they obsess over you and what follows is them loathing you. do something else instead. go to a rollercoaster. that way youll get the same level of adrenaline without getting tangled up in messy situations.
>>383483i want to fart loudly in the peace of my own home without anyone nearby
>>378716she's so hot oh my god
No. 385988
>>385107>turn offsaddicted to anything. drugs, alcohol, gambling, phones, porn, eating, you name it. really into astrology, chrystals, tarot or religion to the point where it's impacting her life. im cool with text messages but i dont want that to be our only method of communication. bad breath. code switching all the time. for those who dont know what that is, it's when you alternate between languages into a single conversation. for example she speaks spanish, suddenly switches to english, then spanish again. it confuses me and it sounds odd. too masculine is not my cup of tea.
>turn onsobservant. remembers details about me. will blush when flustered, it's adorable! affectionate. optimistic. sense of adventure, i cant with a scaredy cat. formal clothing. russian and french accent.
No. 385990
>>385907>>385918>>385922how do you explain the hundreds of hetero sexual abuse
victims? why didn't they turn out gay?
No. 385991
File: 1710774104932.png (1.05 MB, 1080x900, Screenshot_20240318-170255.png)
>>385412im here but im under 25
No. 386036
>>386011First time I was a bi girl's first gf she wasn't that into me. Second time I was a bi girl's first gf she really treasured me and I still blush about it lol even though that was nearly a decade ago now. Never thought about the concept of being a bi woman's "first gf" before but now that you've got me thinking about it I'd definitely do it again because it seems really romantic to me.
Also get closer to her naturally so it feels more wrong that you're
not dating lolol.
No. 386062
>>386053I won’t scrotefoil I won’t scrotefoil I won’t scrotefoil
Jokes aside, I can relate as a zoomer who just kind of passively absorbed millennial lesbian culture through the internet without having any real ties to it. I know next to nothing about lesbians my age because I don’t like to spend time in ultra lib “queer” spaces. One time I joined my university’s lesbian group chat a few years ago and I quickly left, not being able to stand the gross tims and this one girl who would not stop talking about her boyfriend (I guess she was bi or something but I wish get-partnered bi women would leave us alone)
No. 386077
>>386053>>386053Lesbian culture is arguing about what is and isn't lesbian culture.
Honestly, an ideal domestic lesbian life is actually without any distinct "lesbian culture." Domestic lesbian life is just two committed women bringing their unique family cultures together. There's no "butch gender role" or "femme gender role." All of that superficial stuff falls away after dating a woman for a few months.
No. 386118
>>386105>>386050, here
jesus christ, sounds like me. i stopped the homewrecking thing after one married woman i met at the gym got interested in me… only to randomly introduce me to her husband and kids one day when she spotted me at a restaurant. it was awkward to say the least and i had a feeling pursuing her after that would have me end up on an episode of true crime, lol
No. 386386
File: 1710937245280.png (112.87 KB, 758x760, mentalretardation.PNG)
This bullshit is clearly written by fucking trannies, those fucking subhuman scum. These people need to be wiped off the face of the fucking planet, this is so fucking disgusting. They cry about being 'genocided' KEK but they really do deserve to be killed off brutally. How does Tumblr allow this shit but god forbid you call a man what he biologically is
No. 386427
>>386381It scares me too. Unicorn hunters are heinous predators and the women are just as bad as the men. I can't remember if it was this thread or Tumblr but I read a story from a woman who met up with a woman, was in bed with her, and suddenly hubby comes in to join. I think the lesbian ended up pretending she needed to pee and going out the bathroom window.
Pornsick women view lesbians as sex toys and dykebreaking is just an extra gross manifestation of that. It doesn't surprise me at all that women are into it, meeting 'single' women on apps who are actually trying to lure you into sexual activity with their moid is basically a lesbian right of passage at this point.
No. 386504
File: 1710989298698.gif (1.95 MB, 500x500, tumblr_nnmw89bqsd1rpco88o1_500…)
Any ladies here detoxxing from the net? I've already deleted my social media (so much homophobia), and basically just use this site, a few education sites, and I started a bearblog so I can put my studies on there.
No. 386515
>>386504Kinda
I thought online bullying wasn't a thing when you become an adult, and boy was I wrong! Thinking back: it's really weird and pathetic how some people followed my account only so they could repost me and make fun of really basic stuff, like my choice of music, shows I liked, and my art (which was pretty bad, I admit, but I was just starting out at that time). I never made political rants or did hot takes on things I knew nothing about because back then I was pretty naive and didn't care current issues and stuff. Based on the total number of followers I had back then I was a literal nobody. I'd never met 99% those people IRL, so I don't get why some of them hated me that much.
One morning, I decided I had enough and deleted all of my personal social media accounts. Now I only maintain art accounts on insta, tumblr, and DA. I mention having a girlfriend from time to time, but that's all. I don't talk about anything personal online anymore if I can't post anonymously.
No. 386542
>>386523I would say your first relationship never lasts, but it's ok. You'll usually start resenting the other person before that happens though kekk. How long first relationships last depends entirely on the person, the situation, and at what point they are in their life.
>I don’t know how to cope if we ever break upThat feeling is called the honeymoon phase, it's normal and will pass at some point. Be careful about becoming obsessive though, please do not tell them you will kill yourself if you break up or something as drastic as that (which isn't as rare as you might think).
No. 386571
>>386559Would've changed my life at 14 and I'm glad young girls have a canon on-screen lesbian romance to look to.
>>386523My first relationship lasted for 4 years, but we started dating young and stayed together through high school. After that, my relationships tended to be shorter, like maybe 6 months to a year. Just give it a shot though, don't worry about what might happen.
No. 386672
>>386642My cousin and his wife adopted a child who's the same race and the kid is mentally okay and doing well in school as far as I know.
On the other hand, I also know a woman who adopted two biracial kids. She told them pretty early on that they were adopted. Her biological son is also biracial, but she divorced from his father. Things seemed to be okay until she got married to a guy who has two sons of his own and they bullied the fuck out of those adopted kids, calling them racial slurs behind her back. She kicked them out for it. One of her adopted kids was recently diagnosed with anxiety disorder and had problems in school which I assume was
triggered by the bullying. I dunno about the other adopted sibling's mental health, but her biological son is doing really well and just finished med school.
No. 386969
>>3869271. People shit on marriage as a cope because nobody wants to marry them.
2. In general people need to stop making shit up about heteronormativity, sounds like something a butthurt polilez made up to criticize everything real lesbians do. What the fuck is hetero normal about two dykes getting legal rights to each other.
No. 386990
>>386944Yeah there's a reason why older people tell you to get married if you're in a long term serious relationship. It's not for conservative reasons but to avoid being kicked out of the life you built together in case either one of you dies. Or if you get hit by a drunk driver or even murdered by someone your unmarried partner wouldn't have the rights to the compensation. I've heard stories of gay men and lesbian women not being allowed by the bedside to say their goodbyes to their dying partners because they haven't been granted next of kin rights due to gay marriage being banned and it's really, really sad.
>>386954Pretty sure it's just someone baiting about a stupid topic again, this is literally what homophobic people think those nasty dykes seethe about all the time. Next up they'll bring up how using straps is heteronormative or butch/femme is heteronormative or some other tired old infighting topic.
No. 386994
>>386987Ohhh but anon, now you're imitating the het male tradition of breaking up with your gf because she wanted to move in together! Kek
>>386990True, might as well consider it bait at this point.
No. 387414
File: 1711396674033.jpeg (71.08 KB, 1170x694, IMG_7818.jpeg)
>>387320>>387361It looks like the colors of the aroace flag kek. You could also say it’s that if anyone suspects you
No. 387440
>>387430For me it's the opposite, I wouldn't date anyone who uses imageboards, much less lc.
(yeah I'm a hypocrite)
No. 387531
>>387509Also users that are
femcels, polilezzes, lonely straight anons that just want friends and couple of lurking troons lmao.
No. 387608
>>387531I thought
femcels were just a meme
No. 387628
>>387608>>387608I am a
femcel for demographic reasons. I’m Black and Muslim in a mostly White/Asian area so it’s challenging to find someone who will understand me well enough to be my gf. I unironically would like a gay version of BLK even if there were only 20 users in my area lol.
No. 387639
>>387621If you normally wear that style it won't seem weird at all. If you're randomly wearing something super outside of your usual look then it will be confusing, though I doubt anyone would assume you're trying to seduce
them specifically.
No. 387857
>>387755Do you by any chance get tonsil stones? Those can make you smell really bad even if you practice good dental hygiene. There's nothing you can do about them, they're fucking gross. If you aren't sure what they are look it up.
The other thing is if you are like on keto diet or not eating much at all that can cause bad smell coming up from your stomach.
Try to figure out what's causing it, bad breath is a deal killer for almost everyone. Or I guess start chewing gum when you go out.
No. 387909
>>387899Latched on? I did genuinely want to be friends so I guess? I was already losing interest (romantically) because I noticed we wanted very different things out of life, plus she kept making me do everything according to her whims (like calling me while I’m driving to tell me to stop and wait, so we can arrive at our date at the same time so she’s not late) We also live 40-50 minutes apart so it got really draining when she turned down my ideas, decided on date locations close to her place, texted me about getting ready, and I drive there only to find out last minute she can’t make it (for understandable reasons though, I know it sounds bs but trust me). She’s still a fun and sweet person and we had a great time together, so I wanted to stay friends, so when she ended up saying that same thing I was relieved.
I don’t know why she’d say all that stuff about making spotify playlists for us, being my #1 supporter for my dream, wanting to travel with me, wanting to help me with a community project, and not expect me to latch on a little. She reached out and I accepted.
Plus my last texts were me agreeing with her about hanging out, then telling her about some volunteer work on the weekends. (for context I mentioned volunteering making meals for underprivileged communities, and she said she wanted to do it too because it sounds fun, that she’d love to garden, make meals, and give to the community and that I should let her know the next time we’re doing it. So I told her I’d let her know if there’s anything on the weekends where she’s free, but no pressure if she can’t do it). I wasn’t trying to push anything serious, I was talking to her like I do with my friends.
No. 387969
>>387937>Do you really think this will ever go away? Somebody give me some hope for this generation.I feel the same way. I'm overly pessimistic so I honestly don't think much will improve and these types will only crop up more in the future. Personally I wouldn't bother trying to befriend these GSA/queer types of "gay" people, I'm only friends with normie straight women who don't care about trannyshit and I'm much happier for it. Sorry you're surrounded by these types, you're better off avoiding them for your own sanity.
It's highly unlikely you'll lose your job for having basic GC opinions like "trans women shouldn't play in women's sports/lesbians only like biological females/etc." especially in the STEM field because these are all opinions normal people have. A lot of normies won't admit it until they're comfortable but most of them do not recognize troons as their identified gender and only go along with them to be nice (I've had friends admit this to me and even during my handmaiden days I thought this). I wouldn't advise openly calling troons bathroom rapists or purposely "misgendering" trans people obviously but reality isn't as dogmatic on defending them compared to the internet. But if you're in compsci just don't say anything GC/trans related because you might enrage some 35 year old Lilith.
No. 388002
>>387992Many GCs and Tumblr radfems don't realise that their 24/7 bitterness about it online also seeps into every other aspect of their lives. You can bring a woman over into being more critical of gender with time. The type of woman that's blogging about TRAs on the daily isn't salvageable.
>>388001Tumblr and Bumble BFF.
No. 388017
>>388016The context we're discussing is
>>387992. There was a direct comparison made between two different types of people and not any middle ground that you're thinking of.
No. 388018
>>388013In that case I’ve just given some empty platitudes or outright lied. I kind of feel like it’s a losing battle right now, and making myself bitter and lonely by being engaged in activism doesn’t sound like a good way to live my life. Other posters have brought up that ‘terfs’ seem constantly angry and miserable, and I have to agree. Posters on lc will seethe over trannies even in threads where it’s completely off topic, it’s an obsession. I’d rather have to hide a part of myself than have no chance at ever finding love.
I will draw the line at dating they/thems though. It’s unfortunate because it seems like the woman I share the most things in common with are genderspecial but I’m not willing to constantly tiptoe around womanhood in order to be with one.
No. 388022
>>388014Ayrt and
> you'd have actual lesbian friends instead of having to sniff around this thread begging for friendship tips. What are you talking about. I didn’t ask for any friendship tips. Lately on here it’s like you have to start every post with “NTA” or else some retard just blindly assumes everyone with the opposite opinion as them is the same person.
No. 388098
File: 1711734575002.jpeg (208.43 KB, 1155x1600, F65956AB-DA0E-4E10-BC0F-9DD229…)
I also want to be buried together with my future wife, like the late maude adams (picrel) I bet rotting beneath the grass with no light no air isn't so scary when you're with your wife.
No. 388112
>>387992>>387995>>388002Agree honestly, the anons panicking over what "
terf dogwhistles" they should be putting on their dating profile to ward off troons and TRAs make me cringe hard, just be normal and you'll attract normal people. It's equally exhausting to be with someone who's hateful and angry about issues you really can do nothing about 24/7.
>>388001My girlfriend is what lolcow would label a "libfem" (i.e. a clueless normie pronoun respecter) and she is aware of my views but guess what our lives don't revolve around sperging about trannies back and forth, the topic barely comes up between us. The majority of people who support troons will not defend sick rapist AGPs and they will think that ze/zim neopronouns and transing young kids is stupid, terminally online "gendercrits" just have an extremely black and white worldview where only righteous based radfems and evil girldick sucking libfems exist.
>>388001Through hobbies, friends and being a well-adjusted person.
No. 388137
>>388131nta but you're ignoring what she said completely. She's saying it's not some niche group anymore, it's been mainstreamed and if you are a young person basically everyone is indoctrinated. My younger, straight asshole brother who is 18 unironically accuses me of being a
terf for the most mild takes and his normie male friend group all dates girls named leaf with theythem pronouns, it's literally become the norm and not the exception for young people. I get you're determined to die on the hill that it's some niche phenomenon and anon just doesn't get out or something but all I have to say is I envy wherever you live and perhaps consider other people have had different experiences than you.
No. 388158
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>>388141I think her and her fiance look really cute together
No. 388233
>>388190Not true my straight friend and I have shared beds, and will kiss on the cheek and hug.
>>388177What I'm hearing is you are unsure on how to move forward, stuck between not wanting to push boundaries but also wanting to share affection. But it's on the fence behaviour, understandable though since this world is homophobic and misogynistic. I'd suggest just asking where you stand since this is causing you a lot of anxiety and you're assuming things about what she thinks. What evidence are you basing these assumptions on?
With me and my friend I just expect that we will have normal boundaries around intimacy being close friends, and she probably mirrors it. We have spoken about what we like in a close friendship and she has said she likes that I'm confident and likes that I'm understanding about her, so she feels comfortable around me. I'm also only like that with her so I don't get that affectionate with friends if I'm not close, others have described me as closed off because of this, interesting how they see me compared to how I see myself. Anyway I hope things improve between you and your friend. <3
>>388207My condolences nonna that sounds rough, you didn't deserve any of that.
No. 388266
>>388177Samefag. Thank you for the responses, nonnas! Yes, I do think it comes down to not wanting to push boundaries, maybe for both of us. I love her so much, but I’m not attracted to her at all (though she’s very pretty!) so I definitely wouldn’t be led on by it like what happened to
>>388207. I really don’t want her to worry about that
No. 388360
File: 1711865387332.jpg (3.73 MB, 498x282, 2iSmfHx.jpg)
Has anyone here found ways to cope with religious trauma and guilt related to their same-sex attraction?
TLDR; My whole life i feared i would be doomed to hell for being a lesbian and having "lustful" thoughts about simply living my life with another woman. I still subconsiously have fears of eternal damnation. I grew up in a sheltered, mixed religious household, and my family has mixed to low opinions on gays (especially now that they're adding un-related gender ideology into schools)
I had a creepy negative experience with a male classmate at college recently that just re-inforced why I wouldn't pursue men. That on top of family constantly asking me if i would marry and have children, and finding out that one of my old friends recently became an ex-lesbian in order to be a "proper christian" made this week feel real shitty.
Does anyone have more positive advice or even experiences when it comes to religion and sexuality? I do not want to give up on religion, but it's becoming so depressing seeing the (especially online) consensus be that we're all lustful promiscuos people being tempted into sin needing saving. I get a pit in my stomach everytime I think about this and it's holding back my happiness and freedom. has anyone found a positive balance between their religion and sexuality without shame and keeping faith? Advice for self-acceptance?
No. 388526
File: 1711940167540.webp (184.32 KB, 1920x1080, IMG_0137.webp)
The ATJ and horseface stacy baiting and infighting on /ot/ had me thinking about age gap relationships between women, what do y’all think? Personally I’ve fantasized about having sex with women 20+ years my senior but I don’t know if I could be in a long term relationship with someone that much older because of my fear of death. Picrel is Sarah Paulsen and Holland Taylor, they’re married with a 32 year age gap
No. 388615
>>388526I think as long as the younger partner is 25+ it's fine. There are obviously unique issues with that large of an age gap (younger partner will end up in a caretaking role eventually if they stay together) but if you're 25 you should be mature enough to make your own decisions and weigh the pros/cons of an age gap. I definitely don't think it's predatory or whatever.
The 'life stages' argument doesn't matter once you're past typical college age imo. There are 28-year old successful career women and 48-year-olds going back to school for their first degree. Life is complicated and people are all over the place in terms of 'milestones'.
No. 388695
File: 1712028578262.png (2.46 MB, 1516x1525, Screenshot 2024-03-28 at 10.44…)
> broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years
> I’m desperate and lonely so I don’t block her
> She says she really cares about me, and she wants to make sure I’m okay because I have piss poor mental health
> She starts complimenting me, being all lovey dovey, we even have esex, she calls me extremely beautiful
> I ask her if she even likes me as a girlfriend, more than a friend, she says no
> I ask her if she treats all her friends this way, she says sometimes but she does it more towards me
She tells me that she’s used to being in situations like this, where the lines of friendship and more than friendship is blurred. We didn’t breakup because the love was lost or anything, but more so differences in her living so far away from me. She also says that she acts different with me because we’ve dated before. She always has a consistent issue of wanting to have her cake and eating it too with me, wanting to be vulnerable and romantic but not wanting to be tied down with exclusivity, which is something I understand since our relationship has been majority long distance. I’m seriously keeping her around because I can’t move on, and I’m hoping that if I move closer she could take me back, I’m too afraid of being cold to her because I honestly struck gold with her. (She’s tall, goes to the gym regularly, very charming, patient, and understanding, also transphobic and hates men, butch4butch) I know I’m never going to find someone like her that would actually be interested in me, (short, fat, poor mental health). I really just want the sliver of hope that she’s interested in me as a girlfriend but she’s too immature to realize that there’s a difference in how she talks to me. I’m so upset by everything but I need to stay strong and focus since exam season is just around the corner. How do I stop being so utterly delusional? Or is there someone out there that can validate my insanity
No. 388729
>>388695You are delaying getting over her by staying in contact, and her behavior isn't helping at all. She is, honestly, being cruel to you (even if it's not her intention), she seems aware of your feelings towards her and feeds into it, but is not interested in being with you. It's like she feels sorry for you and tries to be supportive, but this support is only making it worse, by giving you an illusion of a chance. It's really weird, and she might lead you on like that for a long time. I'd rather stop talking to her and work on getting over it, plus, you have mental health issues and being in this kind of relationship won't help it at all. You should focus on improving your mental health, on your exams, get yourself busy and get over her. And she should figure out what she actually wants, if she really just wants to be friends with you, then she should act like it, treat you like she treats her other friends and not this "pseudo-relationship but i don't actually want you back uwu". If she actually does want you, then she should figure it out and contact you later, when you are more stable. Like she sounds based and cool, but it really isn't worth to be stuck around like that.
No. 388934
Has anyone ever dealt with / come across lesbian players? What was your experience?
>>388883While it’s not on the same level as scrotes, I’ve definitely had women try to pursue me as a teenager, and a fairly young-looking one at that. I do find it weird and have been in situations where women were a funny mixture of trying to be a parental figure to me and emphasising that they see me as a child while still flirting with me or being inappropriate. I have heard it’s not uncommon for women to believe age gaps in lesbian relationships aren’t
problematic like others though.
No. 388973
>>388938I had this problem too. I thought it was because I get mistaken to be younger a lot because I don't smoke and work out, but they were into me
because I was 30. It made me feel weirdly objectified in a way, they project an image of a "mommy top" on me when I hate kinks like that. It's insulting how zoomers think I'd be attracted to them or find that cute.
No. 389050
File: 1712198544799.gif (2.93 MB, 498x473, IMG_023547.gif)
>>389044>late teensbut you won't fuck them once you're 30+, right?
No. 389152
>>389151adding onto that im an ambivert, i wouldnt date someone whos jealous of who im hanging out with. also i wouldnt force an introvert to hang out with me if she doesn't want to.
and im in a homophobic country but will leave in 2 years or less so thats why im not dating anyone at the moment. im asking these as a hypothetical for when that time comes.
No. 389153
>>389135If she washes up after yknow, then yes. If not… No
>>389151I don't feel attracted to white women so I wouldn't but I'm sure you'll fine someone, none of the cons are going to be dealbreakers for most people!
No. 389167
File: 1712265290515.webp (12.85 KB, 976x549, Progress .WEBP)
Is using the progress pride flag in a HER profile a green flag for non being racist?
No. 389170
File: 1712266841950.png (1.09 MB, 850x850, 43234452.png)
>>389167No it's a green flag for being retarded. Black people were never excluded from the original flag. The progress flag was made up by a random gendie, and then the original flag was slandered so said gendie could push they/them's (picrel, I honestly can't tell if they/them is a TIM or TIF) version instead.
Sorry now I'm on a rant. The original pride flag was public domain, meaning it was free for anyone to use for any purpose. Progress flag is creative commons (which isn't totally horrible because you can still use it free of charge for personal and non-commercial use) but individuals/businesses who want to create progress flag merch have to pay the creator. If you're a farmer's market lesbian you can make little doodads and trinkets with the original flag design and sell them at your cute little farmer's market stall or etsy shop, but you cannot legally make progress flag doodads and trinkets without paying a fee to the creator. The entire point of the progress flag (and especially the smearing of the original flag as 'racist' and 'not progressive') is to benefit the creator individually.
The original pride flag was designed by Gilbert Baker, a gay activist from a time period where gay activism actually meant something, and put in the public domain so that it would belong to the community. The progress flag belongs to Daniel Quasar, who's only real contribution to gay activism was doing graphic design for Drag Race, and is copyrighted in a way to personally benefit they/them's career and wallet.
No. 389246
>>389242Apps have been the only thing that worked for me, but it never even ended up with meeting up so
I've seen the younger generations meet/interact via instagram for example, and most of us that are older just go to concerts and stuff and hope for the best. I'm honestly in the same situation and it sucks big time
No. 389265
>>389261I can't wait to marry my girlfriend, we don't plan on a fancy wedding or anything, but I can't wait to be her wife. I will be in a black dress, she will be in a white suit (idk if it's heteronormative and/or cringe), we will then celebrate at a restaurant or at home with our closest family members, depending on the money situation, kek.
I don't actually think it's in any way heteronormative, like what's heteronormative about two people being tied to each other by a marriage. Some of the things it grants like rights to visit your partner when she's in a hospital are literally necessary if you are planning to be with the person. I'm always so happy to see fellow lesbians getting married, always melts my heart.
No. 389312
>>389156>>389213thanks for your input!
>>389198i used to think i had a type in the past, however i dont anymore. if i tell you some of my longest time crushes were the exact opposite of my "type" or they only fitted some of the criteria, will you believe me? there are some women who i find extremely hot at first sight but i end up not liking them afterwards because of their personalities that come in conflict with mine. and then there are others i was indifferent to, but as i learned more about them i ended up loving them so intensely and now find them the most attractive women on the planet!
so if i had to answer your question with honesty id say any girl that i can have a good time with and feel comfortable around.
No. 389314
>>389261i'm a hopeless romantic but i don't want to get married. i'm not particularly close to my family nor would they support it, and, due to this, i don't think anyone who does have a particularly expansive, supportive family is going to want to date me anyway. those are the only reasons i can imagine having a wedding ceremony, and, as for the marriage itself, for tax or visa reasons, sure. i respect other lesbians who do get married, but for me, it's not really something i've ever dreamed of. i do think it's a little heteronormative, but that's more in the sense that i consider everyone who gets married the same - gay or straight - as someone participating in the farce of modern society, which demands some sense of traditional heteronormativity for everyone involved
going against the grain here a little, but, to me… it's a more romantic to be tied together by nothing but love. so many marriages i've seen where that paper is the only thing holding them together. even in my family, i feel like reputation is the only thing anything is for. it's a stupid dream of mine for someone to be in love with me without strings and pressure, for someone to want to stay with me and see purpose in it when they could be anywhere else, with anyone else. obviously, i'm just talking about my personal preferences. i think this is probably a really uncommon view. the very few times i've stuck my toe in lesbian dating scenes, everyone seems to want to get married, get a dog, and call each other their wives 24/7, so i appreciate that i'm the freak here
No. 389331
File: 1712347327580.jpg (82.81 KB, 500x500, misatoboobs.jpg)
a girl i hooked up with a while back just got top surgery. she was so pretty. i hate when lesbians cut off their boobs. i love boobs. whoever is pushing for unnecessary mastectomies needs to be in jail.
No. 389340
File: 1712349998051.png (1.4 MB, 877x693, lol.PNG)
>>389332it's not an online issue kek. the community has always been like that.
No. 389380
>>389332It is performative, but every sociocultural rule set that we all agree on doing to find our happy places are. I thought I was asexual for 20 years because I truly feel 0 attraction for femininity or males, so my whole dating pool ended up being butches. I don't aim to perfectly do all the 1950s gender roleplay, I know women feel immensely turned off by the idea of being a sole breadwinner. but I do enjoy playing the little flirty courtship games that lead into sex and thats what butch/femme is to me
>>389340yeah lesbians have always been exactly the same
No. 389408
File: 1712369378659.png (150.08 KB, 1263x617, EZC97elXgAMJ26g.png)
>>389388i don't think it's cute or fun to interface with stereotypes rather than individual women. the idea of a "script" is an emotionally immature workaround that causes more problems than it solves. it's exhausting to deal with people who think they know the rules and how you're going to behave just because of how you look or dress. the instant you deviate from someone's idea of the butch/femme "script," they don't know how to respond. so, how are you actually learning anything about each other and your compatibility with one another as human beings? it's like what roger ebert said about fandom (but i guess it doesn't matter if you only want sex).
No. 389431
>>389415Lol OFOS isn't about chivalry, it definitely doesn't have anything to do with hetero norms. my all straight girl friend group is hilariously bewildered by how oldschool my dating stories are. Lesbian bar culture was borne out of traditional American working-class lesbian standards and trends in the 1940s and had a lot to do with the all female labor force. Anyways butchfemme is just a shortcut that cuts out the boring parts to skip to the sexual tension, butches as tops and femmes as bottoms. try to consider it as the female version of gay bar cruising and flagging but no hankys.
For dykes who enjoy the tradition 100 years later, it obviously doesn't replace getting to know each other or figuring out what to say next. it just acts as a sexy "skeleton", fleshing in details together is part of it (I have 3 hinge dates this weekend and I'm really excited lol)
No. 389607
File: 1712482101446.webp (128.34 KB, 1000x1333, Ariana_Grande_at_the_2020_Gram…)
Sometimes I feel so alienated when people talk about their celebrity crushes because most SSA women I know mention the specific kind I really don't find that attractive and can't really describe properly (the "sort of dominant energy" and very classic beauty one) but my huge lesbian crush in my early 20's was Ariana Grande. Still is, she's peak beauty to me and I feel so uncomfortable when people talk about how she's "DDLG pandering" when I'm really into cute and short girls myself. Sometimes it even feels like a taboo preference in lesbian circles but maybe that's just my personal bias.
No. 389609
>>389601I was just thinking about the same thing a few days ago. I really don't know other lesbians or even febfems. The bi girls that I know are the kind you described, they could kiss a girl or call her pretty but never have sex with or date one. It's hard not to feel alienated when they can't really relate to your feelings and views molded by your life as a lesbian or understand where you're coming from, it's very similar to trying to explain misogyny to men, they will never "get it".
>And then because I have nothing to contribute I'm quiet, and I worry that makes me seem like a judgy prude.Kek, I've said jokingly I wouldn't touch a dick with a 10 foot pole and made everyone so uncomfortable so from now on I'm just sitting there keeping to myself and trying to change the subject. It feels so unfair that I can't really discuss my love life with them at all while everyone is supposed to find Nigel problems and gushing over male actors an interesting topic.
No. 389610
File: 1712483461857.jpg (162.94 KB, 800x775, ariana vs..jpg)
>>389607i mean, she does dress like this sometimes to be fair kek
No. 389617
File: 1712485667560.jpeg (1.39 MB, 2700x2139, 1.jpeg)
>>389607Omg I also crushed on Ariana Grande, especially when she had red hair! I used to watch Sam and Cat and imagined myself as Sam so I could be her roommate.
No. 389659
>>389617I'm ESL so I never saw any of the Nickelodeon shows growing up, the first time I saw her she had an already established pop career and fell in love with her image immediately lol. I only found out she was a child star much later.
>>389658Oh
nonnie I could talk all day long about how much I love cute short girls and how I daydream about them all the time and always have. It's a shame that it's seen as weird, I definitely get weird looks for having "moid taste", coming across predatory or some sort of a porn brainrot if I talk about my preference. Just know that there are us out there who love girls like you.
No. 389718
>>389151>lateFuck You, no
I despise people that are late so fucking much, it's a complete lack of respect for the other person
No. 389761
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>>389760thank you wise
nonny i will now blame my body odor for her reaction, it would have been easier to move on if she were a bigot No. 389826
>>389091At the time I was being overdramatic and posted that out of despair kek, but I dated this femme and we had a lovey-dovey honeymoon phase.
>chatted frequently, learned a lot about each other’s lives, comforted her a lot>she was very physically affectionate, gave me cute nicknames, gushed about our relationship and all the things she wanted to do with me>one day our conversation significantly slows down, I was working and she was partying with friends>that night she says she’s not ready for a new relationship but still really likes me>tell her I understand, next day she leaves an (unintentionally?) really rude message, I ask about it>she starts ghosting>see her posting on twitter about having a longtime secret crush, sharing posts about being femme4femme, and posting photos at the club with her friends- all feminine girls with perfect makeup, long hair, stylish dresses and skirtsI’m not sure why she approached me in the first place when I’m (very short hair, no makeup, mens clothes) clearly not her type nor the type of girl she likes to hang out with. I feel it confirmed a fear of mine because during a date it felt like she’d analyze my appearance, making neutral comments on my skin, hair, clothes, that I should get piercings and tattoos soon as possible.
Looking back I feel really stupid and naive, I cried over her and honestly I think she just got bored of me. I saw a tweet where she said she sees no issue with ghosting people if conversation gets slow, she hates when people waste her time (I feel even dumber for forgiving her whenever she wasted my time). In hindsight, she lied multiple times about having similar interests and values as me, but I didn’t suspect anything because it was small stuff and I was smitten with her. She really seemed like this sweet, funny, genuine, and compassionate person to me. Honestly I don’t have any love left for her but it still hurts. I still have a gift(a mini figure of her favorite character) I planned to give her as a surprise before she ghosted, so not sure what to do with that lmao. Now I can’t bring myself to trust or develop feelings for anybody and feel liking take a long break.
I wonder if I should softblock her online, she still looks at my IG stories (probably just someone who looks at any new story)
No. 389955
>>389918Not being able to drive is a massive turnoff but not necessarily a deal breaker if she’s still self sufficient /buses everywhere
Tbh I find neets a little hot but I could never support someone else on my salary
No. 390009
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Just got out of a five year relationship with the woman I adopted a child with. I wish I could be snarky and say she left me for a man because I’d feel better about the fact that it wasn’t my fault, but she left me for a younger, prettier, way more feminine lesbian. I’m butch as hell, so it hurt. Not to mention her barely legal girlfriend is shit talking me to our friend group. Why are lesbians so mean to each other?
No. 390197
>>390009I’m sorry nonna. Are you both still raising the kid or just you? Your ex sounds shallow and the new relationship likely won’t last long anyway. The new gf talking shit (gossiping) about you spells trouble. Sounds like an insecure drama-hungry zoomer so that’s shit for your ex to deal with.
>she left me for a younger, prettier, way more feminine lesbianKek it disappoints me so bad when lesbians move like straight moids. I’m 24 but I just don’t see the appeal of younger women. They can be fun friends and easy to impress I guess. I find conversations with them mostly grating though, the gap in experience is very noticeable and unappealing to me.
No. 390216
>>390197Still working out the divorce, but I’m likely gonna get daughter most of the time, 70/30. Her new gf hates children, which is weird, because I also hated kids when I met her, but she convinced me into adopting once we got serious. We actually got into a huge fight cause she wanted me to carry her IVF and sperm donor baby, but I’m afraid of being pregnant. Looking back now, I dodged a major bullet, and I’m lucky that we’re divorcing before our daughter has vivid memories of us fighting. Idk why some lesbians want to act like straight men and leave their partners for newer, younger girls, but hopefully the new gf smartens up too
No. 390427
>>390378>>390417>18>33Yeah like you said, you dodged a major bullet and I hope that new gf comes to her senses and leaves her soon because what the fuck? Also,
>8 years older than youIf she started dating you when you were 20, then dumped you when you were 25 for an 18 year old, I have a suspicion this is a Leo DiCaprio situation. Sick person. I don’t even understand why she wanted to raise a child with you if that’s the case.
No. 390431
>>390426Real high school stuff. Most of it is calling me a washed up hag (but not ex bc ex is a good old hag), and jokes about my appearance. I’ve got a good amount of friends who just blocked both of them, but a few are taking her side. Surprise surprise, it’s the men in our group. The women, especially the other lesbians or women in lesbian relationships, are very supportive and I adore them.
>>390427She always used to talk about how she wanted a daughter that’s biologically hers, which I was originally supportive of if she was willing to carry that baby to term. When she realized that I wasn’t gonna be her brood mare, she settled on adoption. She seems to genuinely love our daughter, so I’m hoping ex doesn’t throw her to the side, for daughters sake. I could go on about how this new girl is a classic bisexual “polilez” who’s only “lesbian” relationship was her boyfriend who trooned out, but that’s probably too vindictive, even for lolcow
No. 390625
>>390451So your ex is both fat and old… Cheer up
nonnie, you didn't lose anything of value.
No. 390772
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>>390681It must be the same anon who posted this in the confessions thread, don't reply to bait.
No. 390785
>>390775I should probably not gaf but the girl who said this in the group, even though I have a great friendship with her and don’t hate her at all, she’s kinda… you know likes to start shit. She keeps liking stuff like this, and also stuff about women dating mtf LOL. And it’s kinda really weird because she keeps liking stuff only about lesbians when she’s bi, and literally had SEX with a guy. Like she keeps liking things as if she still considered herself one when she’s not. I feel like she would start shit if I started dating that girl I like. And she already said to her “you know, it’s not that I’m exactly transmasc” and like I read her notebook (she let me of course) and I KNOW how she feels, I used to and still do go by male personas online, still go through not relating to other people and being ashamed of being a woman because of the misogynistic online spaces I grew up in, but this other girl took literally “oh they’re 100% transmasc, in fact, they should start hormones as soon as possible! Hehe” she literally said that, and that she should surgery and change her name. Idk man I feel like this girl will start a huge problem if I start dating the ftm, which sucks because I genuinely like her and I feel like she’s one of the few people who understand some aspects that most people would cut contact with me if they knew. Idk I don’t want to start shit, maybe I could just tell her to keep it secret.
No. 390786
File: 1712925775747.jpeg (87 KB, 827x378, IMG_0263.jpeg)
>>390785Oops forgot to attach pic, I feel like she would start arguing abt it idk.
No. 390861
>>390786It's always underage retards who sperg about how much they love ~queer history~ who say things like your picrel. It's so funny because it's actually 100% true that TIFs were historically part of the lesbian scene, Leslie Feinberg is like TIF Jesus online so idk how any of them are still arguing about this. I know it's because it ruins their dogma to acknowledge that sexual orientation is about biological sex, not enigmatic gendered souls, but it's like actual historical revisionism to pretend TIFs and lesbians have never been intersecting groups. You can definitely argue that she's the one being "
problematic" and not you, but honestly you don't owe anyone an explanation and I would not be friends with anyone who treated my love life like a topic of debate.
No. 390944
>>390861>Leslie Feinberg is like TIF Jesus online so idk how any of them are still arguing about thisFor as much as online safficks screech about reading Stone Butch Blues I don't think any of them have kek. Not long ago there was drama on Twitter over whether trans men could be lesbians. From a RF perspective they can since they're female (even though the medicalization and social transitioning part is terrible) and historically trans men were in lesbian spaces but both sides were retarded about it. It was people fighting over trans men can't be lesbians because they're men and then the overly inclusive side saying they can and were always a part of lesbianism ergo lesbians can like men. The whole thing was just really dumb to me because everyone was ignoring the elephant in the room being that TIFs are female and sexuality has always been understood to revolve around sex (where do they think the carpet muncher insult comes from) and not woo woo gender shit.
>>390892On Lou Sullivan I never understood why troons think she's a good argument for trans men being involved in gay spaces considering the only way she could get gay men to sleep with her was by tricking them and hiding her genitals. If they were so accepting of trannies she wouldn't have needed to do that.
