File: 1439712743041.jpg (357.95 KB, 900x878, advice.jpg)
No. 44973
File: 1440052288370.png (248.79 KB, 406x403, 1438480228881.png)
>>26537
Tell me about Bane! Why does he wear the mask!?
No. 44981
>>28212
Those scores are on the low end of admissible; it's possible to get in, but it won't be easy. Try getting your GPA up if you can. (10*GPA+MCAT=66 or greater)
>references…what do you mean by this
You will need around 3-4 science professors' and a few non science prof's recommendation, in written form, to just have your application considered. The best case would have been to maintain a long term, friendly relationship with you science profs and have them know you on a first name basis. Failing that, you'll need to scramble and ask around right now with professors whose classes you did well in.
>I am thinking of doing other clubs if you can recommend me some options.
You'll need a service club or two, just to sell the idea that you're a humanitarian and rack up general volunteering hours. And then one minor hobby club to round your profile out. This isn't critical, but so common it's expected.
>any specific kind of volunteering I should ask for?
anything that introduces you to a hospital/clinical/medical environment, meaning you get to see first hand how medicine functions. I hear scribing is good, I certified as an EMT-B myself and shadowed some GP's.
>I am willing to stay in school an extra year or two if I need to in order to get the required credentials
That's good, but you'll need to be able to demonstrate that you made real progress during those extra years. A year or two of not doing much anything will kill your chances
>>28219
>history of mental illness
keep that shit to yourself. You don't get in med school based on pity, but on whether they think you're capable of hacking it. Mental illness is a liability. You can include some bits of overcoming abuse though, they'd eat that shit up.
No. 44986
>>28230
First off why do you want a girlfriend? Fuckbuddy, companionship, status symbol, to fix you of all your problem? Only two of those are worthwhile and you should know what they are.
Next up what are your standards? Because you sure as hell better be the equlivant of that. Either lower your standards (not reccommend) or bust ass to improve yourself. Nobody wants to date a deadbeat.
Basic hygiene and not sperging everywhere are the bare mininum, but having hobbies, a job, and a direction in life helps. Learn to dress yourself, get a good haircut, and don't be a lard ass either.. Take acting classes, toastmasters, or some shit if you suck hardcore at talking to people.
Next up go about like you'd make a friend, really. Find a something where you're likely to see the same person over and over again, like a hobby group or something. Start up a conversation and see where it goes. Don't force anything though, so if the girl's not into you just leave it be. If you hit it off try asking her to do something she likes and is low key. If you end up being just friends that's okay. She probably has a friend group whose similar to her and you could try your luck there.
Alternatively just try dating sites and have a profile picture with a puppy.
No. 44987
File: 1440087285103.jpg (27.69 KB, 249x386, image.jpg)
>>28185
A LOT OF LOYALTY FOR A HIRED GUN!
No. 44988
File: 1440091694032.jpg (55.08 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)
>>28256
Or perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man, before throwing him out of a plane?
No. 44989
File: 1440093177231.jpg (4.66 KB, 104x125, image.jpg)
>>28265
At least you can talk! Who are you?
No. 44991
File: 1440099240384.jpg (46.42 KB, 496x548, maxresdefault.jpg)
>>28279
It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
No. 44992
File: 1440100263910.jpg (35.34 KB, 630x265, image.jpg)
>>28326
No. 44993
File: 1440100323658.jpg (12.57 KB, 300x168, image.jpg)
>>28330
If I pull that off, will you die?
No. 44996
File: 1440138040918.jpg (9.03 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)
>>28331
It would be extremely painful.
No. 44997
File: 1440139824761.jpg (89.34 KB, 648x660, image.jpg)
>>28847
You're a big guy.
No. 45004
File: 1440405466887.png (113.78 KB, 250x250, 4u.png)
>>28855
for you
No. 45005
2 questions really.
Pt 1:I've lost hope of a serious relationship with my boyfriend for lying and being messy, to put it lightly. I moved back into my parents house (with the intention to move out soon), since I was constantly nagging and basically skeptical of everything he said.
But he's good company and a good lay. I cannot be friends with him, I'm too possessive. He seems even less invested and is blatantly lying more now, and I don't care about the long term effects of his behaviour, only a slight annoyance that he'd deceive me because I'm not as invested either.
Pt 2:I've had a guinea pig for a few years, brought it with me. Made the (stupid?) mistake of allowing bf to get his own for company, and my guinea pig was so much happier, and it'd feel inhumane to separate them now.
I've left the guinea pigs with him because in terms of finding a new flat etc they can be a burden, plus I'd have that extra guinea pig I don't care for much. So far it's been absolutely fine since I've been seeing him and the guinea pigs once a week/fortnight, but no clue what to do for breaking it off.
So wat do with bf
and wat do with guinea pigs.
No. 45008
File: 1440441107686.jpg (31.96 KB, 800x1147, F_80.jpg)
How do I deal with my bf wanting to spend some free time on his own?We're in ldr and he sometimes tells me i smother him. I dont see it because 3 hours of talking a day isnt considered long for me.
Most people just tell me to ''do my own thang'' as hes busy doing his things but….Talking to him is my favourite thing. It still hurts me.He told me numerous times that I shouldnt take it personally and that he just cant just do one thing (aka talking to me) for more than an hour otherwise he gets stressed out and that it has nothing to do with me. Yet, I still feel hurt. How do I cope with that feeling?
>Tl;dr : Im in LRD and I feel hurt whenever bf wants to go do other things. How do I cope with the feeling?
No. 45010
File: 1440442588712.jpg (6.47 KB, 210x240, images.jpg)
>>29899
Well my current bf was never into ''lets talk all day!'' thing so I dont think thats the case. I did have an ex EXACTLY like yours friend's (?) ex bf tho. He loved to talk all day and then he wanted more and more time alone…in the end he broke up with me.
No. 45011
File: 1440445844794.png (14.86 KB, 473x454, 1409337342123.png)
How does one build a social life from zero without being good looking and having good social skills? Am I fucked?
No. 45018
>>29898
I was on the receiving end of this. It'd be like initially I'd come on for a little chat then left, and it began to start
"hey, you're finally on!"
"what were you up to that took such a long time today?"
"you're usually on for midday, is anything up?"
"when you said you'd brb you could've said it was for like an hour! I was sitting and waiting"
"oh, you'll be an hour? any chance it'll be less than that? I just always look forward to you chatting"
Do you have do any of that stuff? It makes you feel chained to be there at a certain time, or hurt the feelings of someone you care about. You have to decline invitations because there's someone online waiting on you. It can create resentment and unlike the mature person your boyfriend is being, I'd just get pissy and walk away from the computer without saying. And it was about an hour before I got pissy.
My advice wouldn't be too new; DO find your own thing. But more I'd say is make sure there are times that you're too busy for him. That you're already doing something while he wants to talk. Hang out with your friends for the whole day, only wishing he has a good day first thing in the morning.
I don't mean it in the manipulative way, but with my ldr it felt like he basically depended on me for happiness. When he started going to uni, telling me about actual events instead of "I was just gaming till you came on" the dynamic became healtier".
What a wall of text. Sorry. If you have been pushing the "I missed you" thing which could've passively guilted him, I'd suggest trying to lock down one solid hour of quality time a day, with one or two days watching a movie together. That activity definitely helped us out.
No. 45019
File: 1440450528726.png (15.7 KB, 700x700, 1435177657935.png)
>>30031
oh yes…im guilty of all those things. we decided to do the whole ''one hour a day of quality time'' a day and i hope it will work out!
Thank you!!
No. 45030
I just arrived at my dorm in Tokyo, where I'll be staying for the next 11 months. I held back my tears saying goodbye to my parents, but y'know, it's sad.
The entire plane ride and then lugging my shit through god damn Tokyo metro wasn't bad. I wasn't panicking or as anxious as I thought I was, and everything was fine. Everything was starting to fall in place!! But right now, I'm so overwhelmingly sad.
I got here a bit late-ish, so I didn't really feel like leaving to go find a supermarket and got ramen from the vending machine downstairs and I looked at it and felt so pathetic and sad. I can barely bring myself to eat it.
Am I homesick? Why am I so sad? I just feel so alone, but all I want to do is isolate myself from my suitemates (who I'm desperate to be friends with but I've barely been able to communicate with them because of packing/I haven't adjusted to using Japanese 24/7 again). I brought my favorite toy that I've had since I was a baby so that I could have that bit of home with me but all I did with it so far is lay in bed and cry.
All I can do right now is cry and complain about feeling so alone and sad. I don't know what I want advice on, really. Maybe how to stop being such a sad crybaby fuck. Part of me feels like this is just a huge mistake. A huge, 11 month long mistake that I can't escape from. I'm supposed to be happy… I wanted this so bad and now I have it and I just want to go home and go back to my home university and laugh with my friends. I'm a mess right now lolcow, please help me.
No. 45043
File: 1441584801560.jpg (69 KB, 800x491, keeek.jpg)
>>33974
You want to concentrate on prevention more than treatment. Prevention = a face wash, garnier is a good brand, get one which says it will get rid of oils and clogged pores. Bonus points for an exfoliating one (but only use that one every other day). Use the non-exfoliating facial wash once a day if you have dry/combination skin, twice if you've got oily/normal skin.
For treatment there's a LOT of options. Cheapest is baking soda, the most expensive is one of those lasers that gets rid of spots and clogged pores.
I would advise stocking up on biore nose strips (they get rid of blackheads), charcoal face masks (ebay, from korea, cheapest ones) and getting some peroxide gel for your spots (if you have any).
Another method of prevention is to make sure you wash off your makeup when you don't need it, not touch your face, not put powders/baby powders which will clog your pores on too often etc. basically what I like to call 'facial hygiene'
If you're using a moisturiser esp. a night one it might be a better idea to switch to a gel based moisturiser (you basically want to avoid clogging your pores with oils)
Your diet and exercise regime is also pretty important. Drink tonnes of water, eat your veg, all the usual stuff and this should help you with clogged pores. Swimming and sauna every other week helps. I like to think sweating it out helps my skin, but iono if it's supported by science.
No. 45053
>>36300
Not that anon, but Couch to 5K was a godsend when I first started getting into jogging. Each workout session is about 30 minutes, and the whole program is laid out for you step by step and tells you how long to run, how long to walk, etc. You'll be running every other day, so you can do some basic strength training (squats, push ups, sit ups, and lunges go a long way if you don't have any weights) with one day of rest per week.
As for cutting calories, just try to spend the first few weeks eating what ever you like, but just control portions and don't go over your daily limit of calories. Soon you will start craving healthier options that will fill you up and fuel your workouts.
No. 45070
File: 1442378792314.jpg (16.71 KB, 300x225, sisters-fighting.jpg)
Watch out wall of txt coming through.
My younger sister (20) and I (22) moved out of our parents house together and now I'm regretting it. We moved to Minneapolis from Nebraska so she could go to art school and so we could both leave a bad living situation that neither of us want to go back to.
We've been living together for little over a month and I'm getting really short and pissy with her because we're not splitting the expenses/chores/effort 50/50 like I tried talking to her about before we moved. It's so fucking hard to talk to her because she's sensitive to criticism and embarrassed when I confront her on something she's not doing right or should do differently. Before we even moved, I asked her if she's going to get a part time job to help out with bills and rent and at first she wouldn't even give me an answer.
“You know that if we move I'm not gonna be able to support us both”
“I know”
“So do you plan on getting a job”
“I don't know”
“If we move I can't act like your mom like I am now and make your appointments and talk on the phone for you, etc etc”
“Yeah, I know. I'm not forcing you to move with me.”
That was the conversation every time I'd try to fucking talk with her about living together and sharing the responsibilities. The first time we went apartment hunting we only looked at one because I got fucking pissed at the hotel when she heard room service knocking and I didn't, and just yelled HEY and looked at me pissed off and expecting me to do something. But when I asked “What? Why do you look pissed? What?” she just rolled her eyes and stopped talking to me. Then I finally heard the person knocking and answered it myself, and I was so fucking pissed that she not only expected me to get the door when I didn't hear it but had the audacity to act mad at me like I did something stupid and wouldn't tell me someone's at the door.
She was seeing a counselor before we moved for depression and anxiety. They gave her some meds that she says help her but I frankly don't see a difference. Her counselor would give her assignments to make her address her social anxiety like pump her own gas or go grocery shopping by herself, but she would always have an excuse not to. We shared a car at that time and we liked to drive around together so I would pump the gas. I tried a few times to get her to do it herself but she's so stubborn, she'd rather go without something like fucking food and gas than to get it herself. She never went grocery shopping by herself because “I don't really need anything” and would wait for me or our mom to go shopping to get something she needed.
Now that we're living together I pay for all the groceries, do the shopping, pay the bills, keep the entire apartment clean, cook, and on top of all that I have to help her if she needs to leave the house for something. We both need new licenses but we can't get them on our own time. I have to wait until she's got a day off from school because she doesn't want to go alone.
I still love and want to talk to my mom and half-brother and she wants to cut them out of her life because she's resentful of the mistakes they made when we were still living with them. She doesn't want to talk to them on the phone, or go visit them during the holidays. She won't talk to our Aunt either, who loves us and wants to be a part of our lives more. She doesn't want to make friends at school, or do extracurriculars, I don't know what the fuck she wants. She doesn't know what she's going to do for a career after (if) she graduates art school, probably live off of me some more.
This is exactly what I knew would happen but I fucking moved with her anyway. Me and her have been through a lot of shit together growing up and grew close because of it, and we're both screwed up because of it too. But I'm really starting to resent her. I thought she'd step up to the plate when we moved, because she's admitted she knows that I can't do it all by myself. But that's exactly what I'm doing. I want to get her back into counseling but her excuse for everything is “I don't have enough time because of school”. Which isn't true because we'll watch tv together for a few hours when she could be doing something else. I know people need breaks sometimes but if she can't manage her time better so she can get a fucking job to help out and go to counseling to maybe help her with this, then idk lol. I'm really angry and frustrated right now, sorry for wall of text.
TL;DR
Living with my sister and she's not doing her share of responsibilities and I don't know how to talk to her about it or what to do.
No. 45108
File: 1443831795465.jpeg (32.58 KB, 363x391, open-uri20120722-7047-14nu1xj.…)
Something really weird just happened to me and I'm kind of scared.
I was just on the phone with my boyfriend and he was asking me about my university modules and when he could come visit me, and I began telling him, then I stopped.
I couldn't remember what modules I had, so I started going "er, er…", but then all of a sudden I couldn't remember what subject I was studying, then I forgot what university I was at.
He was calling my name down the phone like "Anon… Anon, are you okay? Anon" but it sounded like he was calling me from the other end of a tunnel.
I realised I wasn't speaking and got spooked, so I sat up and tried to speak but I couldn't, nothing was coming out, and then it was like my brain just shut-down, I was sat there able to see but like… just wasn't thinking. Of anything. Just sat there existing. I was really dizzy and disorientated and shaking.
This lasted about 10 seconds and then suddenly everything came flowing back in and now I'm fine.
Does that sound like I just had a mini-stroke to anybody else?
No. 45117
>>41441
>>41408
Hey guys.
I'm really humbled that there were people worried about me. Ambulance came last night, checked my blood pressure which was fine, blood sugar was fine, temperature was very high and I was very hot to touch so they took me to a hospital to get checked out.
Waited to see a doctor for 2 hours and 30 minutes since the place was packed with fucking degenerate drunks who had nothing wrong with them clogging up the waiting room. The doctor I saw was completely useless, told me that this simple partial seizure things mainly occurs in children so it wasn't that.
I was like, "Hang on fam, mainly… so it DOES actually occur in adults then?" and he told me yeah but it's rare so it's not that. I was like, ffs, okay whatever. At this point I just wanted to go back home.
Tested all my reflexes and stuff, cognitive function, balance etc. At that point it'd been 5 hours since it had all happened and I felt completely back to normal, so he said he wasn't going to run any tests or anything, and that what I experienced was probably due to stress.
I am frustrated because right now this is probably the least stressed out I have ever been in my life.
I'm eating well, I exercise every night, I drink shit loads of water, I very rarely drink alcohol, I don't take drugs, I'm on top of all of my work/education and I was lying in my bed talking to my boyfriend and relaxing when it happened.
I am not stressed in the slightest, and even so, I've never heard anything like that happen because of stress.
I still have a black hole in my memory that's just gone, and scrolling up looking at the posts I made after this happened, I only faintly remember making them and even then it feels like a dream rather than reality, but the last 2 hours of what I was doing before the weird thing happened has just, gone. I know that I was exercising because that's what I always do at that time every night, but I don't remember doing it or what music/television I was watching on my laptop which was something I always put on as well.
Guess I'll just clock it down to a one off and keep an eye out for it in the future. The human brain is weird and mysterious.
No. 45120
This is really trivial, but I can't eat chocolate ice cream and I can't figure out why. Growing up, I used to eat it whenever I got the chance because it was my favorite flavor (and still is), but suddenly one day when I was about 10, I started getting TERRIBLE stomachaches from eating it. Like, I'd be on the toilet for two hours if I ate a small cone of chocolate ice cream. I pushed the limit a few years back again and figured out I can eat about a little less than a spoonful and it won't affect me, but otherwise, I just can't have it.
I'm lactose intolerant but I don't think that has to do with anything since I can eat other flavors of ice cream just fine, and dairy products don't bother me unless I straight up drink a glass of milk. I can also eat regular chocolate bars and shit just fine too.
It's so dumb but I haven't been able to properly eat chocolate ice cream in over a decade and it kills me because I love it so much and every time I try to google it, I just get shit like "oh it's lactose intolerance." It's ONLY chocolate ice cream, ugh :(
No. 45122
I have a lot of things going on in my life right now. Mostly, I can't function because of severe, crippling anxiety and insomnia. I think the insomnia is caused by the anxiety.
I've started avoiding everything. I can barely go to class, I avoid people if I think I may have to mention something even remotely negative, and I have trouble finding the energy to do anything but worry myself into indescribable depression.
However, I'm trying really hard to see a therapist again. I promise myself every week that I will make it to classes, because I don't want to waste money. I'm trying to get a job, and I'm volunteering as well. But I know I'm an awful person inside and I'm haunted by every awful wrong thing I have ever done.
How do you guys deal with anxiety? It's honestly ruining my life. I feel paranoid and afraid constantly, angry at myself, I never sleep, and I'm terrified all the time of failure. (I'm sure these are things to talk to a therapist to, and I should have an appointment this week if I can convince myself to go outside.) I guess I just want to know if anyone else deals with unbearable anxiety that ruins their life, and how they try to get over it.
(Sorry for being vague. I'm afraid that if I post details about my life someone irl who hates me might find out and expose me or something. Like I said, I'm paranoid about everything.)
No. 45129
File: 1444759646501.jpg (17.06 KB, 210x240, sigma.jpg)
>>42915
No. 45130
File: 1444797444047.gif (290.41 KB, 201x228, Jeeezus.gif)
>>42950
>he would ask to have "meow meows", which was his term for sex.
No. 45133
File: 1444846173745.png (474.33 KB, 860x512, Screen Shot 2015-10-14 at 11.0…)
>>43080
>tend to his weewee
>touch his peepee until goop came out
No. 45140
I really don't like cats. I don't know why, I remember liking them when I was younger and then all of a sudden I just didn't like them anymore. It freaks me out because sometimes I just want to punch a cat or something, and then I think to myself "Oh my god, what are you thinking? Would you punch your dog? Or a puppy? Why are you so fucked up? You can't punch a cat, that's not right!" and I feel so terrible. I never act on these impulses of course, but I feel so wrong. I love dogs and I can't understand why people would be so cruel and hate them, so I try to force myself to think of my bad thoughts, except focusing on dogs so I can ground myself.
Ugh, what's wrong with me? I don't want to make myself like cats, but at the very least, stop feeling so violent towards them. :(
No. 45144
File: 1444969301000.jpg (8.46 KB, 227x222, r8g4sd6rt756.jpg)
>>43179
Go on…
No. 45146
As someone who is physically unattractive, how do I look more confident/better?
I see confident unconventional-looking people all the time and they seem SO much more attractive to me than stereotypical "beautiful" people. Does anyone understand what I mean? I just want to develop a 10/10 personality and charm the shit out of people.
People have told me I can be very charming one-on-one… but being in front of crowds gives me such anxiety. Major anxiety. I'm already thinking about going to therapy and asking for anti-anxiety meds.
Is there anything I can do to increase my charisma?
No. 45149
>>43237Yeah they really doesn't make sense to me.
Sometimes I wonder if I missed some kind of developmental stage of my life that decides these things..
No. 45152
>>43232This is going to sound mean, but I am being serious and sincere: could you perhaps be a psychopath?
If you do a bit more research on this, please keep in mind that it's dangerous to self diagnose anything–remember that labels are there to help us discuss things, not to box us in.
There are others who don't feel emotional attachments. It's not unheard of, though it is uncommon.
No. 45153
>>43285Haha no offense taken. It's an interesting suggestion. I think it seems so edgy though, you know?
Or extreme? I mean the definition of a psychopath sounds really dysfunctional - I've never been arrested or intentionally hurt pets or lied for the sake of lying, etc
But I guess it's worth considering this lack of connection could be some form of mental disorder
I appreciate your time/reassurance, Anon. It's nice to know I'm not alone, at least!
No. 45156
>>43369Psychopath perhaps is too extreme–I'm sorry, I am not a healthcare professional and it's the first thing that occurred to me. Antisocial personality disorder would probably have been a better term. The reason I thought that was because of your inability to create emotional bonds with others, your manipulation of friends and relatives, and the feeling that others must be faking it.
Psychopath has a lot of negative energy attatched to it and so does mental disorder. I'm not trying to suggest that there is anything wrong with you or that you should go to a doctor. It's important to note that the only ones studied are the ones who can't blend in. If you're functioning in society then no worries.
Generally speaking, I really hope that this aspect of your life doesn't eat you up too much. It's nice for us to try to reach a better understanding of ourselves, but too much navelgazing makes anyone unhappy.
No. 45157
I have this one friend. TL;DR: mentally ill legbeard with attachment issues
They're clinically depressed, have anxiety, and have attempted suicide several times in the past. Over the summer (we're in highschool), she completely broke it off with our friend group of six or seven other girls and a couple of guys. I'm currently her only friend, everyone else she either cut ties with or drove away by being super fucking autistic. She's been in several online relationships, one with a 26 year old (she's not even 17), and claims to have gone "all the way" with one of her skype bf's.
She always brags about her "double D and growing" tits, when in reality they're saggy AND covered in pimples. I tried to get another dude to hang out with us so there would be someone else, but it turns out he was into me, she was into him, and he was very much not into her. She's been kinda off since then, making backhanded comments whenever the three of us are together (we're all in a language club).
As far as appearance goes, total legbeard. Greasy dishwater blonde hair, graphic tee's and shorts from the guy's department. I take care of myself (makeup, edgelord clothes without being too 666), and she gives me shit for it.
College is coming around and she's going to community college,bc she's dumb as a stump despite claiming to be "way smarter than everyone thinks". Her excuse is that it's less expensive, but any college would give her a huge fucking financial aid package. She wants me to hang around in the state so she can visit me whenever she's bored, but I hope to allah that I get accepted to a school that's 6+ hours away.
Last bit of exposition: I think she's got a weird obsession with me. In elementary school, she'd throw a fit if I wanted to do anything besides play yu yu hakasho(sp) with her, ignoring the fact that I didn't even watch the show. In middle school, the same thing would happen when I tried to hang out with my other friends, some who became part of our friend group. Now, she keeps saying stuff to me like "If you were a guy, we'd totally be fucking" "if I was going to be a lesbian, it'd be with you/if we were lesbians we would be together". It's pretty fucking weird.
She's also super racist, calling black people niggers within earshot and saying she hates asians.
What the fuck do I do? I don't want to be responsible for another suicide attempt, but jesus christ this chick is B A T S H I T. I've been pushing her away a little more, trying to hang out with my other friends or spending more time at tennis practice or the gym. Help me before I become part of a murder/suicide
No. 45158
File: 1445257502939.jpg (41.52 KB, 414x279, oh shit.jpg)
This is more of a PC related question.
So, I noticed this popped up while I was watching something full screen on youtube. When I exited full screen there were about 7 other identical “File Download” windows open and I don't know if I should have but I just clicked cancel on all of them. I had just torrented 2 movies tonight from kickasstorrents and I had Norton 360 but it was expired. I just got the latest Norton and am currently running a full system scan. Should I be shitting my pants? I googled the file name and nothing really relevant came up and when I googled “us-e-node9 smartyads” the only seemingly relevant link was for a french pc troubleshooting forum or something.
No. 45159
>>43506json is java script and some ad service is trying to make your browser run it. the script itself could be harmless or potentially dangerous, looks like you're using IE? you should really use something else like firefox/chrome with adblock.
tl;dr you should be fine but use a different browser.
No. 45161
>>43479Keep cutting contact. If you aren't willing to flat out tell her why/that you don't want to see her, just keep making excuses. Ignore her in person if you think you can.
It might hurt her but don't feel to blame if she makes threats or attempts suicide. If you're really concerned contact her family/call 911 to her location. But don't respond to her. If you bend or reply or give her attention she'll see it as working and resort to these tactics to control you in the future.
Just wipe your hands clean and run, Anon. Honestly.
No. 45162
>>43512Not that Anon but from my experience Norton might as well be malware itself.
Download spyware doctor and adaware and have them scan your pc, (both should have free versions). Also clear your browser cache/cookies, incase the problem is stored there
In advance: if either of those programs finds mal/adware it can't remove because it's currently running, restart your PC into safemode and let them scan again
Wouldn't freak out either way, just good to do to make sure/since you've been torrenting
No. 45163
>>43479Seconding everything
>>43519 said.
Just know that no matter what you are not in charge of her life and you are not responsible should she decide to hurt herself again.
She is drowning and attempting to pull you down with her.
Keep to your escape plan and best of luck.
No. 45164
I don't know what the fuck is up with me.
For some background, during the months leading up to my break up with my ex, things were rocky and I knew she probably didn't return my feelings anymore. I spent the mornings telling myself "it's fine, if she didn't like you, she'd break up with you already. everything is fine!" and I would go about my day normally. At night, I went nuts and would scream in my head about how much of a terrible girlfriend I was, how shitty I was, that my girlfriend didn't like me back anymore and she was just leading me on (which she was lol). I flip flopped like this for maybe 2 months or so until we finally broke up. Hell broke loose in my head so I went to therapy and fixed myself.
Now it's been several years, some shit has happened and I'm doing the same shit in my head again. Rather than telling myself whether this person hates/likes me or not, it's mostly spending the mornings being a normal person and being productive and happy and ignoring it. Then at night it blows up in my face and I feel so destructive towards myself.
I really hate it, have any of you guys experienced this? How the fuck do I stop being such a sad whiny piss baby? I'm so sick of this shit and being sad lol.
No. 45173
I get so fucked up before I get my period I don't know what to do
I normally have unwarranted self-importance/ego/general lack of empathy
But when I'm about to get my period I get all fucked up and frustrated/violent, random bouts of crying, hopelessness, suicidal, very self destructive, anxious? I think that's the feeling, anyway, I feel a looming sense of dread and constant cold sweat
What the fuck fixes this? If I go on birth control or something, might that help? I'm in my mid twenties but I've never really tried the pill
This is really too much to deal with every fucking month
Right now I'm at work trying not to cry, freezing from the cold sweat. I don't even have anything to feel bad about, this is retarded
No. 45174
>>49121Likes like your hormones go off fucking tap. Talk to your GP, trying the pill may help.
Either way if its irregular hormones they should be able to fix you up with a prescription. My ma had similar issues.
No. 45176
File: 1449185164291.png (243.22 KB, 400x400, ryH7hyQT_400x400.png)
How does one go about getting a job? Is it luck? Do you just keep applying until someone gives you a chance? Just thinking about getting an interview and how I'm probably going to have to lie about how much I love people is making me nervous
I live in a sort of small town so, my sister who's volunteered before has difficulty getting a job/interview, it's pretty devastating (maybe it's because she's only volunteered for a month?). I've only started to apply to volunteer at my local library, but I'm scared that won't enough
No. 45185
File: 1459826179075.jpg (165.66 KB, 564x630, 3DPD.jpg)
>>84796
>1. Immigration is the best solution to Japan's demographic crisis, and Japan should take several million refugees from the middle east
>2. Japanese women are oppressed by the patriarchy, even worse than the West
>3. Japanese are evil! They use 2D waifus to blackmail their women into compliance
>4. Yes, which is why Japan is backwards and dying. They need to take an example from Germany and Sweden
Where's my SJW medal?
No. 45186
File: 1459830969981.jpeg (60.98 KB, 750x730, image.jpeg)
How do you broach the height subject with guys you meet online?
I am 5'6" and I have had two guys now claim they were 5'7" and they were definitely more like 5'5" or my height. I just met this great guy and he's Asian so I'm worried that he will lose interest if he isn't taller than me / when he finds out my height. :(
No. 45198
File: 1459875496524.webm (3.31 MB, 540x360, 1459624945539.webm)
>>84886Your call m8, keep going after guys that won't care about you or just find a genuine good guy not a "nice" one.
No. 45199
>>84870
I was in the same boat as you. I couldn't figure it out. Like I am into skinny, tall, nerdy, yet style conscious and fit guys. I was attracting these short, big boned, bulky guys who dressed like hillbillies and I'm not even in the south.
I totally changed how I dressed (from average college student wearing VS Pink with uggs and straight blonde hair, very natural makeup, cute anime shit like phone cases) to a little more mature (no logos, nice blouses / dresses / work clothes, more makeup / sexier makeup, no weeaboo shit) and it has really changed things and I also think it made me more attractive.
No. 45220
>>92156
Unless you think you're the one unfairly judging them (i.e. they're actually nice but you dismissed them etc.), then there's no point trying to force yourself to like them. You will never like them, it's never going to happen, no matter how hard you try, or however much time you spend with them. Like above anon said, they'll know you don't like them.
Maybe join some clubs, go to places where people appreciate your hobbies, maybe even some online groups? Even like above anon said, if you get some work or do some volunteering, take some classes - those are great ways to meet people. There are plenty of ways to branch out, it doesn't have to be just through your friend.
No. 45298
File: 1464030583618.jpg (272.63 KB, 1280x1280, maxresdefault.jpg)
I'm feeling very low right now.
I try to base most of the things I do on life upon a principal logic. Unnecessary emotion clouds your judgement, but I'm sitting here trying to bite back tears anyway.
I filled with so much fucking sorrow, and this isn't the kind of emotion you can just logic away because there is no logic to it. Every day there is untold levels of suffering occurring beyond levels of present human comprehension and it's all committed by our hands. We know what it is that we do, but then we do nothing because we're just so goddamn comfortable, it makes it all worth it.
The reality of the universe is that there is no divine principality or grand cosmic justice. People do monstrous things and they get away for it. Karma never comes for them. Sometimes I think the truly intelligent ones who have imbued themselves with religion, who've managed to dupe themselves into such a state of delusion that they'e no longer forced to suffer the truth, because in the end the big, bad flamin' goatman will come get them so it's not their responsibility to try and make it better.
This isn't a case of babby's first awakening to the reality of the human condition, I know what we are, but sometimes it just gets too much. Sometimes it feels like it would be better to not feel at all rather than sit here and endure this, but it'd be even worse if I was the kind of person that didn't give a fuck at all. It doesn't matter how much meat or eggs or milk I give up, how much fur and leather I abstain from, I've still got that fucking L'Oréal mascara on my desk, I'm still typing this on this dirty, useless, garbage laptop.
My very existence means I'm willingly complicit in the cycle, but at the same time I don't want to die. I want to get off Mr. Bones Wild Ride.
How do you guys cope. I can't block it out. I'm having difficulty sleeping.
No. 45322
>>96028
The thing is, he's had plenty of opportunity to gtfo. If he's not into me, why keep replying?
Idk about everyone else, but if I'm not at all interested in a guy, I don't give him any attention. If I just want to be friends with a guy, I'll casually mention a crush/boyfriend/whatever. Since men are simpler than women, I assume if he's talking to me, he doesn't completely hate me and at least wants to be friends, ya know?
He spent our first date telling me about technical things, and in incredible detail. At the time, I thought he was just super smart - which he is. But he really didn't ask me about myself. Again, I chalked it up to being awkward and smart. But now, after messaging him a bit more, the Aspie thing seems plausible. Idk.
No. 45331
File: 1464960855503.jpg (189.8 KB, 1224x720, 1461796089511.jpg)
I have a constant dormant looming urge to do uppers. I haven't done them since April. Obviously I have to continue avoiding them, but has anybody ever taken supplements or found they were deficient in a mineral that may help those urges be less frequent?
I'm not particularly healthy.
No. 45338
File: 1465765734650.png (20.05 KB, 571x448, 1432077816884.png)
I have to move soon, but am really conflicted as to whether to stay in the place where I grew up or move closer to my extended family, which is almost 800 miles away.
My extended family would welcome me, but we haven't kept in contact for a long time until recently, so I worry about moving nearer to them and feeling like an outsider. We also have pretty differing beliefs and cultural habits.
Objectively speaking, where they live is 100x better than where I live now. Rent and health/care insurance is way cheaper, minimum wage is higher, and mental health services are easier to get. For my career choice, there are better opportunities there as well.
I'm just reluctant to leave what little I have left that's familiar to me. There's nothing holding me back except that. I have no friends or immediate family, no job or school to quit, etc. I can pretty much start my life over there without struggling (mostly financially) as much as I would here.
What if I end up hating it there? What if it makes my shitty mental state even worse? Give me some advice, guys. I gotta make up my mind soon.
No. 45350
File: 1466300382621.jpg (53.74 KB, 500x500, tmp_20302-Septum-and-Medusa-Pi…)
What do you guys think about philtrum piercings? Usually, I think visible piercings and tattoos are trashy, but for some reason, I think this one is cute. I'd consider getting one, but I feel like I'd look silly.
No. 45356
File: 1466307707472.png (248.17 KB, 450x338, Depersonalization_vs_Derealiza…)
Does anybody ever feel like they're not really part of the world. Not that you're particularly special or unique, but more like you're living in a world populated by cardboard cutouts? Sometimes it feels like everything else is tethered to the ground by these little strings, but I'm not really attached so I'm just floating around instead.
Sometimes I think I might act pretty weird. I mean, I know they're not really 'weird' weird, but they're not really normal either. The other day it was heaving it down with rain but I needed to walk into the city centre so I went out without an umbrella or a coat because I wanted to be wet, like seriously dripping with my hair plastered to my head and my makeup running down my face because there's something very real about the rain, or sometimes when I'm out and about at the start of a straight street I'll close my eyes to walk down it and I'll just listen and feel. I think other people probably do this too maybe.
Sometimes when I walk I'll arrive at my destination and I'll not have any real memory of the journey, just kind of echos of it. I spend a lot of time in the background just watching and observing people too, because I feel so separate from it all, but I don't have any positive or negative feelings about it either because I'm a background character in a fog.
I just wanted to know if anybody else felt the same. Somebody once told me that it sounds like derealisation/depersonilisation and looking up descriptions of it, it's pretty dead-on, especially the sensations of floating through the world which was weirdly exact.
No. 45384
File: 1467330674236.gif (1.35 MB, 355x230, tmp_718-emma-1158427151.gif)
Fuck, idk where to start.
So, there's this girl that my boyfriend and another friend of his plays video games with regularly. Cool/whatever/idc
The thing is, she wants to start playing with ME. This is a problem because I really don't think I will like her. I'm usually sitting next to bf when she's gaming with him and she pretty much just parrots the memes he and his other friend come up with, is le leddit fag, 2edgy5me because she takes breaks between games to smoke cigarettes and weed. I'm pretty introverted, so having to force myself to socialize with someone I have no chemistry with really drains me. When I'm playing games, I'm just trying to chill and relax. What do I do? Idk if I should just ignore her or what… I really hope she doesn't frequent this website.
No. 45400
File: 1468324118307.jpg (818.07 KB, 1952x3264, 2014-07-08 01.26.33.jpg)
My cat is sleeping a lot lately and seems a bit depressed. His nose is a bit dry too, I won't get paid untill next week and I'm worried there is something wrong with him. Wonder if the heat is getting to him. Any more experienced cat owners with advice?
No. 45404
File: 1468325418539.jpg (242.93 KB, 720x1280, 1.jpg)
>>102536
No we've been in the same apartment since the day I got him, he's been always a scaredycat since the day I got him. He doesn't like strangers much and can only relax when we're around. Doesn't like playing with toys, he only likes playing with my sisters hairbands lol. Guess I should buy some treats tomorrow, he's only been eating chicken and normal cat food lately maybe that's why he's in a bad mood. He's always been grumpy but he's extra grumpy this week.
No. 45410
File: 1468326752958.jpg (978.53 KB, 1952x3264, 2014-07-06 05.59.14.jpg)
>>102558
I thought of doing it a couple of times but my mom scared something will happen to him because of it, maybe I should try.
>>102560
Heh yeah, he has couple of spots the couch, under the table, balcony when the sun is hitting there and in front of the TV when the family is home. I'm slowly building him a small scratching post/cat house lately but I keep postponing the house part because of work, the woodwork is gonna take some time.
No. 45416
File: 1468333255976.gif (951.17 KB, 497x269, 1466410549570.gif)
Anyone here play otomes? Is it true people throw money at them like crazy? Would you say there enough of an English-speaking market to support a patreon for a promising game of this sort?
Any recommended titles that can be found on torrents/ftp?
>mfw I found an audience for text-based adventure games that are NOT all about porn
No. 45424
File: 1468398250725.jpg (58.22 KB, 640x640, 1468362589572.jpg)
>>102708
As an extremely shy and awkward guy please make some moves, I'm generalizing probably but we are constantly afraid of being ridiculed for makng moves or getting rejected so we don't make moves unless we are sure that you won't ridicule us and no I'm not a robot. Don't expect guys like us to be dominant either.
No. 45433
>>102756I was watching Bob's Burgers yesterday and your situation reminds me of the episode where Tina asks Jimmy Jr to the dance and he gives her a maybe because someone else might ask him later.
He doesn't become interested until someone else wants her.
No. 45440
I need some advice about my ana mother but I don't even think I can get this from the internet.
First off, I really respect my mother. She was a young single parent with no support who fed me and brought me up better than I could imagine managing myself however being a human being she has her own issues. She used to be anorexic and throughout my childhood her battle with staying thin was really present, she always made sure I was well fed and told me I was perfect the way I was if I ever felt chubby, but at the same time she wasn't applying the same logic to her own body and would laugh about people she hated being fatter than her etc. I'm not blaming her for how I developed my own eating disorders but they happened, however I'm now a grown adult and have tried to overcome it. Recently I made reference to struggling with that as a teenager and she pretty much laughed in my face and told me that there was no way I ever had an eating disorder, she has that weird competitive vibe that all the crazy anas have.
I'm starting to worry about my siblings, I don't think my mother should be allowed to call people fat or should be allowed to express her own feelings about her own body in from of them. This isn't haes bullshit, I don't want my siblings to grow up thinking deathfat is healthy, but I just don't want to see the same connotations and ideas implanted.
I can't tell her how to raise her kids, I can't tell her how to police her own feelings towards her body and if I tell her she gave me an eating disorder it will be WW3, but I don't know what to do. I've suggested she doesn't call herself fat in front of them in case they get the wrong idea about body image but we got into an argument about me 'policing her own feelings' I don't know what else to suggest.
>>104906
If you have different ideals that will make it hard to do the long term grown up adult stuff (kids etc) but if you're not sexually compatible you're not getting the benefits of a young fun type relationship either.
Maybe you need to take a long look and decide why you want to be with him. Is it actually him you want, or just the feeling of having someone to love that cares for you too? If you're certain it's him you want, you need to confront him about spicing things up. Opposites are fine but there needs to be compromise.
No. 45445
What's the best place/way to meet more traditional girls?
I'm reserved and would love to find someone else that's the same way.
No. 45450
>>105326
Yeah, I'm not denying that much, it was sort of that it felt good to start with, but it's honestly that the alternative to it is being really distressed over whatever. If I'm out of it, I feel chill, and kind of happy. I suppose it's closer to self medication than anything else, I do similar with alcohol in that I can't drink without drinking to the point of unconsciousness. But that's easy to handle, I just don't keep alcohol in the house.
I don't really want to bring this up to therapists because as soon as they think you're a risk of addiction it's pretty much impossible to get medication that I do need at points, because people can abuse them.
I don't know, maybe the solution is just as easy as simply just dealing with it until I'm not in pain anymore, because I'm not going to lie for scripts, and the pain I'm dealing with won't last forever.
No. 45456
File: 1470373387416.jpg (41.13 KB, 500x276, IhnN7GS.jpg)
>>106533
Linda from Bob's Burgers.
No. 45457
File: 1470845543819.jpeg (56.78 KB, 571x960, image.jpeg)
Sorry for bumping this dead thread, but I need advice.
I've been rejected from every job I've applied for in the past couple of months (which is a lot) and it's becoming a real hassle, as I really need money and I don't know anyone who can even get me a good word in anywhere.
However, I can draw anime girls. Usually I just draw normal fluffy stuff, but I remember reading that people will pay a fair amount of money for art of their fetish or whatever. At this point, I don't really care. I'll draw an inflated furry in a diaper if it means money.
I'm not really sure where to go to do this though. Can anyone tell me where a good place to start is?
No. 45458
File: 1470846213700.png (197.47 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_20160810-134839.png)
Well…what now?
Give up, or keep trying?
No. 45461
File: 1470852662122.png (130.32 KB, 320x394, 1470574631199.png)
>>107152
>It's not you it's me
I.e. you're not Chad, give up move on.
No. 45465
Repost from 4ch /adv/, i'm desperate.
I think i'm "in love"/infatuated, but i wish i wasn't. I have a history of forcing the feeling of being in love with someone just because i was so addicted to it, i did it for years, and haven't had an actual genuine relationship where i was actually in love for real, ever. So i went single for the longest time in my life now (8 months), and stopped searching for a new partner completely. I even tried "forcing" love and infatuation a few times just to see if that behaviour was still triggered, and it's not. I thought i was finally fucking free. Until a few days ago. I've known this guy for YEARS online (never met), we have an insane ammount of shit in common and none of these feelings were present before. I'm convinced my mind is going through some kind of love-addiction-withdrawal, like how it feels like when you get of a real drug. Feels fine for a few months, and suddenly you have an urge to do it out of nowhere.
I'm convinced there is no "the one", love is just a short-sighted chemical reaction to get us to reproduce, and it never ever lasts more than a few years at most. I sincerely don't believe in "eternal love". The only love i'm willing to accept is the one you feel with a family member you care about, or friends that you've known for years. Infatuation HAS to be bullshit, this whole "girlfriend/boyfriend" or "husband/wife" crap is just a romanticized concept, just like any other.
I feel like i'm going insane, i don't want to fall back into my teenage dreamworld, it's not real and only does damage in the long run, right..?
I hate this, it makes me feel like shit. It doesn't even feel "good" to be in love like it used to, it makes me feel physically ill. He's such a wonderful beautiful cool fucking person, god why does my body have to react this way? I don't want these feelings.
No. 45469
File: 1470928517688.jpeg (23.96 KB, 275x264, image.jpeg)
So, I've been really desperate for money lately. Like other anon I have applied for so many jobs in the past few months and all rejections.
I got an offer from a place called "Cara" on a sugar daddy website I was signed up to, so I checked it out. After texting one of the numbers, it seems to be a… Nude companionship thing? Where basically dudes come in and chat with you while you're in your knickers, or get a massage. They can request you to be topless or nude too. The website was very adamant about there being no sex involved, and I want to believe them. The money is good and I'm desperate.
By the way, this is in Australia so it's all legal. They seem to say they're able to provide papers too to prove it. I'm not really sure if I should go for it. I still live at home and I'm not sure how I would explain it to my parents as they're still protective.
No. 45474
File: 1471836907534.jpg (93.35 KB, 500x613, king kat.jpg)
A few years ago, I moved in with my parents because I made poor decisions. I'm correcting them while I work and pay down debt. I'm also weighing the option of returning to school.
I want to pursue a relationship because I've been putting it off for too long and I don't want to die alone. Should I even bother given debt + living at home? Should I put it off further until I can demonstrate more responsibility or hope someone doesn't care I live at home?
No. 45475
File: 1472057802885.jpg (28.84 KB, 437x445, XIf698Z.jpg)
>>108099
I don't really know what your debt is like or the limits on repayment options for loans, but if you got a combination of govt. and private loans, you have more options for repayment if you move out and live on your own. Some plans include taking your tax information and monthly income and give you a lower payment based more on what they think you could pay.
However, if that situation isn't available to you, maybe hold off on bringing somebody "over" until you're more interested in them? You might just need to tell them the truth.
No. 45477
File: 1480193214895.jpg (23.21 KB, 330x395, 1479405903144.jpg)
How do I stop the suicidal thoughts? Meds and therapy not working.
No. 45483
I'd like some advice so I'm going to try to exexplain my situation without sounding like a cunt (which I probably am but fine…)
I've been friends with a girl since we were 9-10 years old. Long friendship, we're best friends and talk daily. We're currently in our early to mid 20s.
I can't imagine my life without her but recently she's been pissing me off a lot. She's always had a bad relationship with her family so she relies on approval from guys; often changing her personality according to the guy she's dating.
In her late teens she ran away from home to be with a guy who ended up cheating on her with another male and then kicked her out to move in with the gay dude. That incident really destroyed her self esteem and she's gotten worse since then.
She comes back home, years pass, she meets new guy and becomes friends with him (a shy, self conscious virgin). Guy crushes on her and asks her to date him, she tells me she doesn't like him and says no.
Months pass, she starts dating him just so she won't be alone because she feels sad for being single and because she doesn't wanna "hurt his feelings". Says she wants to give him a chance.
Girl keeps trying to get attention from other men, has cheated on him and is attention whores whenever possible. If a guy gives her just a tiny bit of attention she won't let him go. She accepts when dudes humiliate her and has sex with them because she can't say no to men.
I privately tell her she shouldn't cheat on the guy she's with since she said she didn't want to hurt his feelings to begin with. Girl cries and acts dramatic and says I don't care about her feelings otherwise I wouldn't have said anything on her cheating.
Calling her out on her behavior was super hard since I know I'm naturally a very judgemental person so i try to keep my mouth shut whenever possible.
I feel bad, so I apologize and we forget about it… but now I can't stand being around her because she is two faced, cheats and lies.
Is this just a phase? Should I talk to her again? Am i being too judgmental (because i know i can be)? If yes, is there a way i can stop thinking like I do?
I don't wanna end our friendship but i feel like we're living different phases of our lives (she's a NEET; I recently graduated and have a job and just started a relationship) and i cant associate with an immature person who cries and acts like a victim when called out on her hypocrisy. I also feel bad for the guy she's dating because i know he is going to get really hurt.
No. 45487
I have a crush on one of my friends for quite a while now. I told her about it a year ago or so. She wasn't interested in me. I thought I could deal with it, and for some time it worked, I started to be less obsessed over her, although I'm still in love to this day. She recently got a boyfriend and that just devastated me, both mentally and physically. It doesn't help that I'm dealing with depression since many years (I actually tried to commit suicide once), and meeting her made it far worse.
Just knowing the fact that someone else is making her happy in a special way makes me wanna cry and hate myself for not being good enough. I know this is common, happens to everyone all the time, being rejected is part of life yadayada. But this is the first time it happened to me, and I haven't been able to meet more women or feel remotely attracted to anybody else. Furthermore, I'm unattractive as fuck, and trust me when I say I'm not making this up.
Anyway, we still chat regularly and I try to act as cheerful as possible, but I know for a fact that I became her last resource when there's no one else online. Our conversations are mainly meme-spawning and pic-sharing, we rarely talk about each other's lives, except when she's dealing with anxiety and needs to open up a little bit (I do so too).
We used to hang out along with our mutual friends, but now I'm seen her less and less, probably 'cause she's out with her boyfriend on weekends.
Sometimes I feel like blocking her on every social media and walk out from her life completely, just for my sanity's sake. But I know I'd be a jerk if I did that, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Talking to her before I do this would be equally as bad; yes, she would at least understand my reasons, but it wouldn't make her feel any better (if she really cares about me, that is, and I assume she does 'cause we're still friends).
I just want her out of my life and my thoughts. What the hell should I do?
No. 45491
>>119186
>>119201
I kinda trivialized my relationship with her in my first post. We chat almost every day. Yes, most of our conversations are kind of trivial, but to be honest she's like that with everyone I know. It's not always like this, just most of the time. We've been friends for more than 4 years now, and we shared lots of things together, and up until now, I felt very close to her.
But yes, lately our interactions are minimal, and it's mostly my fault. We still have long conversations every now and then, but there's not much steam left.
She's a very emotional person and feels very sad whenever any friend dumps her for whatever reason, and I know this because I've seen it (not saying this stuff happens often in her life). She literally felt depressed for a month because some crazy female cyber friend blocked her and ignored her messages out of nowhere.
Just wanted to clarify what type of person we're talking about. Thanks for the advice, I'll probably do what you say.
No. 45492
File: 1480308970510.jpg (14.95 KB, 236x317, 22443.jpg)
Has anyone ever gone no contact with everyone in their life?
I recently lost my mother and had to move to a new city for financial reasons. It's not like I had any friends, but I got in contact with a lot of family friends (my mother's friends) and neighbors right after my mother passed away. Now that things are settled down though, they hardly ever contact me. I expect it'll become one of those relationships where you might send a Christmas card or something but that's about it.
For whatever reason, I have a strong urge to cut ties with everyone completely and start over fresh. I already went no contact with my uncle and his family (he was a dick anyway though), but I still feel drawn to the idea of just being alone, I guess. Losing my mother, having to leave everything behind, and being on my own for the first time has really shaken me up and has made me really look at myself and figure out who I am and want I want in life. I don't want any outside influences or advice about anything. I just want to be alone and do things by myself.
Any advice, input, or just perspective would be really great.
No. 45494
>>119245
Yeah, I do admit that I'm going through a bad period. I've had depression for most of my life, but losing my mother came out of left field, sending me into full blown alcoholism and self-harm. I'm in therapy now and have been sober 5 months, but I feel angry and bitter about my situation and hate that I'm not included in their lives anymore than a card once a year. I hate that they came out of the woodwork when she passed and then just disappeared again.
I still have 3 family friends that I wouldn't cut ties with, but I'm not sure about anyone else. I keep thinking, they don't make me a part of their lives so why should I try to keep them in mine? Plus, it seems like on the rare occasion that they do call or text, it's never to ask how I'm doing. It's just to ask if I'm working, in school, have done this or that, etc. It gets old when I struggle to just brush my teeth everyday, let alone be a productive adult. They seem to just think I need to push through it or get over it.
No. 45503
File: 1480461405360.jpeg (126.19 KB, 479x570, image.jpeg)
Where should I advertise my teespring?
So far I've got Instagram, Twitter and tumblr.
Should I pander to any crowds in particular?
Sorry it's not really a girly question.
No. 45508
File: 1480724224966.jpg (147.62 KB, 499x1332, 1452243092736.jpg)
>>119369
>my other half
>4 months
>cheater
>had bad rep
>still a teenager
No. 45512
File: 1480787061619.jpg (120.46 KB, 964x589, Body Shape.jpg)
>>119871
If I were you, I would try looking up styles and colors that specifically flatter your appearance and go from there. Go to some clothing stores and try on a bunch of stuff, figure out what you like and what looks good on you.
As far as personal style is concerned, from the few words you used to describe yourself, I would avoid any "young", cutesy clothes. If you really do have an older face, those clothes would just make you look like a tryhard woman trying to be young kind of thing. Your build might lend itself well to an androgynous style, but it's hard to say without actually seeing you.
Regardless, the internet is full of answers for any question about style and fashion. And really, the only one who can find a style that's both flattering and something you like is you. Think of it as an adventure in finding yourself.
No. 45513
File: 1480797647004.jpg (132.61 KB, 500x336, tumblr_inline_ocqovwfzHt1taycp…)
>be me, chubby girl
>met gf, gorgeous skinny girl
>we start dating
>fastforward three years
>she gained weight, now heavier than i was.
>can't complain cause when she met me i was a fatty girl too and she didn't care
>i don't mind it so much, its fine, she's still gorgeous and i love her, but i gotta say… i do miss my gorgeous skinny gf…
>"oh anon! i visited my mom last weekend and you won't believe what she said! she said i've gained weight! how mean! now i'm so sad!"
>"that's so fucking rude don't listen to her!"
>my real face when
should i comment on it or is it just hypocritical and asking for trouble?
No. 45516
File: 1480812494976.jpg (190.29 KB, 400x675, face.jpg)
im a NEET anxious shut in thats currently trying to get my depression/anxiety under control but thats all im doing
im super lonely and cant figure out ways to meet people since i don't do anything. should i focus on trying to make a friend, and where/how? or should i focus on trying to find a gf?
dating seems easier cause theres apps and stuff but friendship is more casual and idk if im too huge of a loser to date.
which way should i go? im tired of being alone.
No. 45518
File: 1480818123420.png (49.95 KB, 346x642, 24sft.png)
>>120026
Damn. I wish, anon. I'm too far away and I suppose I'm a crappy LD girlfriend sigh.
I met a good friend on an app called Women Only. It definitely needs some improvements, but it's still worth the shot. I decided to uninstall because I got a bunch of messages from dudes who show up there because… eh, they're fucking nasty dudes who want to get with lesbians and bi women who are looking for women. Also, the number of transwomen with a fetish is increasing there.
No. 45522
File: 1480875440453.jpg (152.43 KB, 1600x1200, 1453670108572.jpg)
Anyone have advice for making new friends when you're not in college? I work in a small office with older people and parents so I don't really hang out with my co-workers, and not being in school limits my interactions with other people. I hate not having a group of friends and going out all the time, I'm always at home and lonely and depressed. I only go to the gym and like the bookstore to go out, but I can't really strike up a conversation with someone because everyone's doing their own thing or has headphones in. I've always been a social person but since my friends moved away this is so depressing and I don't know where to begin again.
TLDR any advice about meeting new people and making new friends as an adult would be appreciated.
No. 45533
File: 1480945490847.jpg (260.65 KB, 400x518, 5353.jpg)
All of my family is dead now and I don't know anyone, save for a few family friends and acquaintances. It's really killing me to see all this Christmas stuff on TV and online, stores all decorating, etc. I already have depression and this shit isn't helping.
So, how do I cope/get through the holidays by myself now without hanging myself in the garage?
No. 45539
File: 1480954907625.jpg (16.33 KB, 600x600, 86857.jpg)
>>120183
Not even close to hurting my feelings. Nice try though.
No. 45541
File: 1480957687756.png (73.63 KB, 412x351, 648.png)
>>120183
>tfw you hit rock bottom the day you were born
why god
No. 45545
File: 1481099183183.gif (2.36 MB, 620x400, ugly cry.gif)
What are good excuses to cover up when you've cried? I mean actual ugly cry face, not just a few tears. my go to is allergies but I can only use that one during spring or summer. During winter "I have a cold" is a good one but people will start to suspect stuff when I have a cold one day and not anymore the other.
Does anyone know of any other good excuses? (Not crying is not an option, tears just come pouring out and I can't stop them and my face just puffs up and gets red all over)
No. 45546
File: 1481101760683.jpg (22.97 KB, 500x375, meirl.jpg)
This is fucking stupid as hell, but it's the 11-year anniversary of my stupid crush on a boy who will never like me back.
We haven't even spoken in…five and a half years now. I made an ass out of myself in middle/high school, of course, and he was always too polite to reject me outright. I have no way of contacting him ever, but I still google his name sometimes because maybe he's done an interview or something and I can hear him again.
It isn't always this bad, sometimes I forget for a few weeks at a time, and then I have a dream about him, fall into the well-worn path of my neurons and get extra bonus sad. They say you never forget your first.
CBT? Alcoholism? Straight-up acceptance of brain brokenness?
>>120382
Allergies (dog, grass, whatever fits the bill). Hay fever. Summer cold. Fit of sneezing that left your face all red and watery. If you can get a cold spoon on your eyelids for thirty seconds, that'll cover up a bunch of the cry-face.
No. 45549
>>120175
For what it's worth, depression (which is valid, as a response to a bad situation) is a mountain that medication can turn into a molehill. Have you talked to any therapists? Are there medical resources in your area?
>>120385
You're right, and in a conversation we had seven years ago (haha kill me) he mentioned that he didn't like being put on a pedestal.
But…shit. I know he's kind, intelligent, playful, and attractive. The world regards him as largely perfect, and I'd cut my own hands off to have his attention turned on me for a little while, and my legs to be the kind of person that he could love. I would tolerate anything that would put me in proximity of him, made worse by the fact that I generally do like myself, it's not really an "I am garbage" thing. Yes, I do know what I sound like saying that.
At any rate, it's a me problem, as you've identified - thank you for reminding me that he's human, it honestly does take the edge off.
How do I get through an evening without gross sobbing.
No. 45572
File: 1484007844796.jpg (22.42 KB, 500x382, b23112d22fad9509223a744941b01f…)
How do I deal with my insomnia, especially when I'm nervous about the next day? And it's important that I be well-rested?
I swear I've tried everything. Melatonin is helpful until I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep.
No. 45573
>>45571Well anon… Only thing I can think of is private investigator… Also any devices he has, you should be able to install some programs that record anything typed into the device as well as screenshot every time something is clicked. My dad use to use programs like that, that's how he found out my mother was cheating… The programs should be able to be easily hidden too and you can only access them. Just do some reading on the various types and pick the best one.
I wish you the best anon. I can't stand pedophiles. I hope he gets caught before he does something.
Bump in hopes of more anons trying to figure out how to nail this guy in prison.
No. 45574
File: 1484435602372.jpg (159.89 KB, 790x750, hi-45_05.jpg)
Have any of you bought shoes online before? I'm considering buying these loafers from an online Japanese store for about $35 but their return policy seems kind of sketchy. But I doubt I'd be able to find loafers as cute as these at the mall.
How on earth do people buy shoes online without any fear?
No. 45579
File: 1484536215269.jpg (90.49 KB, 355x392, 4757567.jpg)
Late last year, I got back in touch with a cousin of mine that I haven't talked to since high school, like 9 years ago. We were never really friends back then, but I thought since we're adults now, we might hit it off. She's the only family I have left too, so it was kind of a big deal for us to get back in touch.
I found out that we had a hell of a lot in common, in regards to shitty life events, though are pretty different in every other way. For example, she's very religious while I'm the exact opposite. Still, she we hung out a few times and eventually she invited me over to meet her family and have dinner.
What she didn't know about me is that I have pretty bad OCD, like the stereotypical germ kind. It was incredibly hard for me to have dinner at her family's, because there was dog hair everywhere, they let the dogs lick off their plates, etc. I didn't say anything but I kept declining future offers.
I started feeling guilty and didn't want her to think I hated her, so I told her the truth and made it clear that it was my issue and nothing to do with her. I suggested we eat out somewhere instead, my treat, or that maybe we could check out the new city that I moved to. Her response to all of this was basically "oh ok" and "it's fine" when I apologized. Since then, she hasn't talked to me or reached out to me, despite my repeated attempts to check in, comment on her social media stuff, etc.
It kind of pisses me off, because she has had her own slew of mental health issues and revealed some pretty horrible shit to me that she did before she got clean/sober, so I can't help but feel like her possibly ignoring me because I have OCD is a big slap in the face.
Do you guys think I offended her? Should I ask her what's up or just fuck off out of her life again?
No. 45580
>>45579You didn't do the wrong thing but it does hurt to have someone say your home isn't clean enough to eat in, even when the person has OCD. No matter how sensitively put it feels as though you're being called dirty and gross.
I'm the OCD one at home and it used to make my MIL uncomfortable to come home and find me washing her baseboards. Time helps a lot.
No. 45582
>>45580Yeah, I can understand that. I wasn't blunt about it or anything and I tried to cite examples of my OCD affecting me even in my own home, but I guess it might've still made her upset.
Having lived with OCD for long has kind of made it harder to see what's actually normal to other people. Most of the compulsions that I have, aside from washing my hands 200x a day, is stuff I forget that most people don't do or even think about.
No. 45583
>>45582Oh yeah it's so easy to forget that the compulsions aren't normal. I was amazed when I discovered that most people can use a towel twice before washing it.
I'm sure you explained it to her as kindly as possible and pointed out that it's totally an OCD thing and not a criticism of her or her housekeeping but it still cuts people a bit.
Even worse when your OCD conflicts with someone else's and you're both horrified by each other's compulsion.
No. 45585
File: 1484555908436.gif (364.98 KB, 300x333, 1448160976286.gif)
How to the fuck do I get over someone I can never have, I feel myself getting more clingy and obsessed the more time passes. Its driving me insane how lovesick I am over it.
No. 45586
I've had several long-distance relationships and none of any other kind. I've never kissed a woman, even. I'd actually rather keep it that way than get involved with anyone like those I've been with so far again though.
First crush spent five years responding to my advances with variants on "maybe later", then said "no" at the end of that. I took the first no I got as the final answer but hadn't considered during that time that maybe she wasn't actually growing more interested in me because my mind was filled with bad ideas from romantic comedy.
I didn't push my first girlfriend to show me a current photo, which if she had shown one would've debunked her scam of telling everyone online that she had cancer and was undergoing chemo in order to get asspats from strangers. She faked committing suicide because asking for a breakup or trying to work out relationship problems is _totes just too hard_.
Then a stranger on Omegle I met while I was grieving over that befriended me and kept asking me to write fanfictions of her favorite anime characters being dominated in bondage and torture situations (I refused to write them actually getting raped or murdered, which seemed to disappoint her somewhat). Vanished on me mid-conversation after several months of correspondence and I waited several months for her to return, sending her emails with longer and longer intervals between hoping she'd come back.
Someone added to my Skype directory started talking to me when I posted a status update about being hospitalized for my appendicitis, then as soon as my medical bills were paid started "needing" money every month. During that time she'd managed to beg me for cybersex enough that I actually gave it to her, and so far she's the only person I've had it with, and she would switch between begging for it and then belittling me for wanting it when she didn't and accuse me of pressuring her for it. She agreed to marry me and kept the ring I sent her. At least I never met her in person and kissed for real, then I'd have gotten herpes as an insult added to all the injury.
Next girl approached me on a dating site I was using and despite my open defensiveness kept kissing me in RP, including French kisses and lots of feeling up. Then four months in I find out she'd been seeing another guy for two of those, and she picked him over me because he was ten years younger and she felt I was too old to present to her parents - an odd concern to get four months after making the approach. She also tried to pass off everything she'd done to that point as "just friends". Oh, and the dumping came the weekend of my birthday, her being the first woman to give me even pretend affection on my birthday including the woman I'd been with for two and a half years that'd begged me for cybersex until I caved.
So if there's a way to avoid this kind of stuff other than to completely cut off contact with people online and shut out the entire idea of getting into a relationship, that would be nice.
No. 45587
>>45584I mean I already admitted it's an OCD thing. Why point it out as weird when I acknowledged it to begin with?
Seems like you're being deliberately nitpicky.
No. 45588
>>45585Stop checking their social media and/or blog.
Stop reading old text messages and don't send any more. Delete their number if you have to.
Let yourself feel sad and engage in your daily life. Don't make time to mope about them, force yourself to go out and socialise.
Don't let yourself indulge in fantasy, grieve and then bury it.
No. 45589
>>45586Stop the online thing but don't give up on relationships yet. Are you a NEET? You didn't say so but that's what I thought. Anyway, you need to experience things like kissing, sex and having a partner to love someday.
I have a relatively similar story; I used to date a Canadian who faked committing suicide and tried to manipulate me in every possible way you can imagine for over 2 years. I know it's pretty shitty.
No. 45590
>>45586Aren't you the same autism-chan from the relationship thread who was saving cybersex for marriage and had a waifu tulpa?
And the same anon who, in the embarrassing truths thread, talked about eating their own boogers and not masturbating until 20?
Because if my advice to you is the same as the other anon said, get offline immediately, holy shit. Online relationships can be real but these intense stories you are sharing here are mostly just that; online stories. Join some hobby groups, make some real friends.
No. 45591
File: 1485192453361.jpg (102.85 KB, 1100x1687, jjFc5ET.jpg)
Does anyone know a good brand of thigh highs? I'm thinking of SockDreams since American Apparel is apparently going tits up, but I can't freakin stand their SJW ~body positive queer anime goddess~ act and don't want to give them money lol.
No. 45592
>>45591You can shop at WeLoveColors if you're that anal about what sock company you buy from. They have tights and solid color thigh highs, but they lack the variety of Sock Dreams.
Or just try ebay
No. 45595
>>45593Ultimately it is up to you. What do you think feels most appropriate for you?
I will always encourage people to report because that can be a form of closure.
However, the reality is that you may not be able to get him charged, however word might spread, and hurting his character could dissuade him from going to that church, and people could become wary of him.
Lastly, it is not your fault. You did not ask for it, seek it, or elicit it. He's the one who made the conscious effort to hurt you.
Good on you for seeking therapy, Anon! You can always discuss it with your therapist, and weigh your options. Good luck and I hope you gain a lot from therapy!
No. 45596
File: 1485260109949.jpg (114.52 KB, 625x499, enhanced-25187-1434576310-6.jp…)
How do i shave off my arm hair /ot/? i keep reading that if you shave it off it grows back thicker and darker but waxing makes it thinner and lighter is this true? At this point im desperate because almost half of my family is hairless ;_;;
sorry for posting in a (dead?) old thread
No. 45598
File: 1485265130236.png (1.27 MB, 1440x2560, Screenshot_20170124-211936.png)
>>45597it isn't that thick just like long i guess? pic related because it looks like that in a way
No. 45599
>>45598Tbh i almost don't have hair on my arms but i tried hair removal cream once. It looked good for like 2-3 days. Don't try it unless you want to reapply the product like crazy. You can also bleach your arm hair. I thought I'd look weird but no, it looked really subtle, so I recommend it. However I'm very light skinned and my arm hair wasn't super dark in the first place. If you're like me, maybe that could be an option.
But yeah, tbh most people don't give a fuck if girls have mildly hairy arms irl. I don't even know why I was so obsessed with mine in the first place. one of my exes thought a bit of blonde arm hair on a girl was kinda cute.
If you can't find an easy solution or pay for a more expensive alternative, then try to stop worrying.
No. 45600
>>45596I use an epilator over it, it works well and I'm often smooth for weeks even though on my legs hair grows back in 3 days top. I get little ingrows rarely but they're easy to remove.
Also it doesn't hurt as much as on legs at all imo.
No. 45601
>>45596I've been shaving my arms since middle school (they used to look like the ones in that photo btw) and there's nothing particularly crazy about. I think they're easier to shave than legs and my hair starts reappearing after 3 or so days. It doesn't even look that bad if you let it go for a bit longer, since the hair grows back sparsely it just looks like there's less of it unless you stop shaving for more than a couple weeks.
Also as an adult nobody's ever said a thing about my arms being shaved or their hairiness either, so now it's more of a shower habit that I still do it.
No. 45603
>>45601I'm the same as u anon.
Even tho my arm hair is blonde it was still long and gave my arms a noticable fuzz. I've been shaving my arms and hands for years just bc I like it, besides my mom giving me shit in high school (assuming it was out of concern for my self esteem or something) nobody has ever noticed or cared, maybe once in like a decade.
My fiance I've been with for 7 years has never given a fuck about my body hair either, I just personally like having absolutely no hair on my arms or hands
No. 45607
File: 1485489135823.png (23.64 KB, 764x706, vucvm0om3dby.png)
How do you effectively compromise with the fact that your parent has no faith in you or anything you do?
Do people have experiences with parents second guessing them all the fucking time? Is there hope at the end of the rainbow?
I feel like completely cutting off contact with my dad sometimes. It's like I am never doing enough. I want to blow my brains out when I think about it but I would never do that.. I just think about it a lot.
No. 45608
File: 1485489783884.jpg (Spoiler Image,661.47 KB, 665x877, IMG_20170127_1.jpg)
TW For gross af image. HOW??? How do I get my makeup to stop doing this. I moisturise, exfoliate, do face masks, drink a lot of water, eat pretty healthy. It happens no matter what I do, primer no primer, setting spray before and or after, powder before and or after, beauty blender, brushes, hands. I've used estee Lauder doublewear, Mac, Revlon colour stay and a whole bunch of other foundations. I'd give up but my face is hideous without makeup I can't do it.
No. 45611
>>45610Well also try applying some sunscreen and see if that helps. (
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/beauty/reapply-sunscreen-over-your-makeup ). I still think it is the hair though
No. 45613
File: 1485494558077.jpg (147.62 KB, 600x600, 465646.jpg)
Does anyone have any experience with shaving their face with an eyebrow razor?
I already have to shave my chin and upper lip with a regular razor due to so much coarse hair and have to pluck a few dark hairs on my cheeks but there's also a lot of baby hairs all over my face that are more noticeable when wearing makeup.
I worry using an eyebrow razor on my cheeks and forehead will cause more little black hairs to pop up. I know it's bullshit about shaving causing hair to grow back thicker, but I'm still iffy.
No. 45614
>>45605pretty much this
>>45606That doesn't mean that it's certain that he would make a move on you.
At the end it doesn't matter really, just don't get your hopes up and try to get to know him as much as you can. If you see there are activities that both of you were interested on doing outside a work environment, don't be scare to propose it to him and see how he reacts. I would give up if he ditched me a couple of times.
Again the important thing is not having too much expectations.
No. 45615
File: 1485498817034.jpg (23.05 KB, 225x225, IMG_3934.JPG)
>>45613It IS bullshit, the hairs only appear thicker because shaving creates a blunt end to the hair.
You could hit the middle ground of shaving and plucking/waxing by using a little rolling epilator or something
No. 45616
File: 1485499262302.png (220.57 KB, 537x600, 1477617284207.png)
Um.. any help in how make a guy last longer in bed?
No. 45618
>>45615Yeah, I know it's bullshit. I was just worried about the hair appearing darker as it grows back. I'm naturally kind of hairy and have to shave my chin/upper lip every day, so I didn't want to end up having to shave the rest of my face every day too because the hair looks darker.
Gonna check out this rolling epilator thing though. Thanks for the idea!
>>45617It can, but I think that applies more to people with darker skin. I'm really pale and have been shaving my upper lip for years and have zero discoloration.
No. 54107
>>54098hi anon. please don't be worried - although it is possible to get pregnant in this way, the chances are very small. You'd have to be ovulating, the sperm would have to have made it inside you, and even then every ejaculate contains millions of sperms because so many of them die/get lost on the way!
What's more likely that you are stressing out and it's messing up your hormonal cycle - this happens to a lot of women and is well-documented! However, getting a pregnancy test is the only way you will know for sure and you must do it sooner rather than later.
Not to go all parent on your ass, but if you aren't ready to do what is necessary when these situations arise, maybe you aren't ready to be sexually active. (No judgement, just saying that when dicks and vaginas are around each other, babies are always a possibility!)
I hope you aren't pregnant, good luck!
No. 54118
File: 1485658568009.png (850.98 KB, 817x637, hidingmytears.png)
I am not sure whether I'm legitimately depressed/need to see a doctor.
Recently my life has been shit and I've been having a hard time going through my day or getting things done. After my classes and work I'm so exhausted it's hard to clean at home or even take care of myself.
I'll be graduating this semester but I don't know what field of work I even want to go into, even with my degree. I also barely do any of my work, and I'm sure to be screwed in the next few weeks when I'll have papers due.
But the worst has been my shitty job as customer service at a grocery store. It was the first job I had before college and I've stayed because I always been worried about not being able to get another job and having no income. However since I took up doing payroll for my place and now being forced off payroll I've become so bitter and resentful that I'm always in tears. I was personally blamed for any issues that were 99% the fault of the employee themselves with payroll. I tried to work every day to maintain time and attendance and then was told I took too long working, so then they only let me do it in the last hour of my shifts or not at all because the store was 'busy'.
Now the person they put in payroll is someone who was literally just hired with no previous experience. This same person who once got 30 hours of overtime when I had known management did not ask from any other employees (something that's against our union) and other preferential treatment. While I had to go to another store multiple times without a car to be trained, he was trained by the backup payroll person at our own store. While I could only work the very last hour of my shift, he works on it at the beginning.
Management always complained that since I didn't work mornings everyday it wasn't consistent, yet he is still working evenings as he did before.
It feels like I've always been disrespected despite how long I've worked for the company I'm always breaking down after shifts. My friends have told me I need to quit but not only is it hard to look for a new job while barely getting through my classes and work itself, I don't know if I should get another part time job in retail when I'm also supposed to be looking for a full-time professional job/career in a couple months.
It's hard to do anything after a day of classes/work. While most of my hobbies were online-based, I've basically stopped and only browse this place/tumblr in my free time. I don't know what to do but I can't help but think that even from friends who have experience with depression and tell me to go see someone, that I'm simply just a shit person who can't do anything and cries even when I'm angry.
No. 54133
File: 1485698916987.png (38.91 KB, 625x378, sub-buzz-25287-1481297483-1.pn…)
>>54118Yeah that sounds like depression anon. If you find nothing interesting/worth doing anymore, along with the other things you mentioned, could be time to talk to a doctor.
No. 54137
>>54118>I am not sure whether I'm legitimately depressed/need to see a doctor. Recently my life has been shit and I've been having a hard time going through my day or getting things done. After my classes and work I'm so exhausted it's hard to clean at home or even take care of myself.
>It's hard to do anything after a day of classes/work. While most of my hobbies were online-based, I've basically stopped and only browse this place/tumblr in my free time. I don't know what to do but I can't help but think that even from friends who have experience with depression and tell me to go see someone, that I'm simply just a shit person who can't do anything and cries even when I'm angry.Are you me? I feel the exact same way most of the time and when I finally explained it to my mother she told me to see a doctor or a psychologist as soon as possible in case it's because of depression or something similar. I'm not against the idea but if I did that and my other relatives were to find out I could get in trouble. I have moments when I feel better but they randomly happen so I have no advice to give you. As
>>54133 said, go see a doctor.
No. 54202
>>54107hello! i just dropped by to say i started my period today (the day i was going to buy a PT) so all is good and i am very relieved!
your advice calmed me down a lot. i was really worried since i saw spotting and i was having cramps which had never happened before and it fueled my paranoia a lot.
i am going to talk to my boyfriend about abstaining for a while, since i do agree that this was too irresponsible considering i tend to panic easily and i'd rather not deal with this constant worrying and fear. thank you so much :) !
No. 54480
>>45608Omg I get this very same problem. I love makeup but I can't wear it without it looking like shit. It mostly happens around my chin, forehead and around my nose, so it has nothing to do with my hair.
I've literally tried everything including scrubbing my face raw a few times. I think some people just can't wear makeup? I see beauty vloggers with this baby-perfect skin which I've never had in my life, I guess it just had to do with genetics. It's really unfortunate because I still get acne thanks to my period and I've no way of covering it up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No. 54675
File: 1486314696897.png (79.05 KB, 426x281, thrifty.png)
I had no idea where to post this.
What are some good online thrift stores? I prefer to buy used clothing because it's more economical, but ebay is usually too expensive when it comes to used items it seems.
No. 54686
>>54137Last year I had a huge depression due to my family and failed 3 subjects. They started to say shit and when I said I had a depression and went to the doctor they told me to stop faking things and to stop lying and that 'we need to talk'.
I'm the same as
>>54685 and honestly I feel like shit and leave everything to the last minute, I am also dealing with insomnia and this is fucking everything more. I became someone who doesn't like the idea of being surrended by other human beings, I feel uncomfortable everywhere and just want to sleep all day and eat crap.
No. 54687
>>54686I also prefer the nights when everything is quiet and I'm not bothered by the presence of others.
Sorry for thirdposting.
No. 54772
>>54686Honestly, Im kind of in a similar situation. Im coping with my depression by escaping to online gaming and cause of that, I failed an entire semester. I feel horrible about it and I get recurring anxiety because I know I can easily fall back to that.
What helped me was creating a checklist with the bare minimum of things to do. It's not overwhelming but I still get to have some stuff done even if it's like fucking little. Most of the time for me, I get in the study zone while finishing my checklist and these days Im done with my studies in 2-3 days whereas my old self would have wasted till the last night and rushed everything, stressing myself more.
I know you said you don't work well with people and you like quiet nights. Might I recommend college libraries? Most of them have those isolated single desks with borders so no one can peep in at your work. I hate studying in public but libraries are the best for me when I have to study in the morning. People never bother you cause they have their own shit to do and it's always quiet so maybe it'll help. Hope this helped.
No. 54842
File: 1486550951200.png (24.38 KB, 483x119, Help.png)
Please help
I had a pretty good date with someone, but they had a panic attack AFTER the date when I had left. We even kissed and discussed seeing each other again.
To me it sounds a lot like a fear of being with someone / dating. Are there any people experts here that can help me?
Essentially how do I:
>Open a dialogue about us going forward
>Address the panic attack issue.
No. 54845
>>54842Not a people expert, but I don't think you can diagnose whether it was caused by one thing or another unless either they tell you that, or you know them very well.
If you really like them and want to see more of them either in a romantic way or not, I think it's acceptable to send them a message saying that but also acknowledging that they might not be ready for it, and that there is no pressure on them to do that. Also it would be good etiquette to say that you would never want to pressure them to explain the reasons for their panic attack or even to respond to you, but if they want to talk about it, you are there. At least, that's how I would want to be treated.
Unless you genuinely care about this person it seems like a lot of work, but I wish you both the best!
>>54768Kind of the same as above, I don't think there's anything wrong in gently saying that you would like to know more, but also assuring him that he doesn't have to tell you anything and you completely respect his decision if he doesn't.
The important thing is to explain why you want to know. Whether that's because you want to know what hurt him because you want to sympathize better with his pain, because you want to know every little detail about his life, because it's never happened to you, or even if you just don't know why.
However, don't do it if you're likely to get jealous hearing about his ex or if you're not prepared to be supportive if it brings up bad feelings for him. Don't ask for all the details or names either, and don't pressure again if he says he doesn't want to talk about it.
No. 54849
>>54845We used to message each other every morning just to catch up and see what we're doing for the day
How is this tomorrow morning:
>Hey just checking in, hope you're feeling better after Tuesday. Would you like to chat? (no pressure) - Anon No. 54875
File: 1486591974441.jpg (71.5 KB, 500x600, 1414405104761.jpg)
>>54099It's probably for the best that you leave your boyfriend, and move on. I was recently in your position, except she was the one who left me. Lol. Didn't have the courage to tell myself that things were not going to get any better.
Respect and appreciation are not only very important in relationships, but they're also vastly underrated.
I believe a lot of young people just want that initial spark (fling), and constant sex. After that feeling fades, it takes work to continually show your SO that you're still #1 to them. Even if you really are.
You made the right decision. I hope it has turned out well for you, and that you're taking care of yourself.
No. 54914
>>54842Seems like that person isn't ready for anything serious. Unless your head over heels for them I don't think it is worth it. Getting in a relationship with a fragile person is just a lot of babysitting which is bad for both sides.
try not to step in too deep just because you're lovely dovey right now.
Just my opinion tho
No. 54923
>>54916If you were assigned birth control why didn't you just ask your doctor this question?
What the fuck
No. 54925
>>54923I did but the doctors accent was VERY difficult to understand because it was thick. So I only got half of what they were saying. Since I'm the type who would annoy someone with "What did you say?" Because bad hearing I got too afraid to ask for them to repeat over and over again.
I think it's easier to ask other females the question as well who have actual experience with it.
No. 54933
>>54916Sometimes side effects depend on the birth control you're taking. From my experience though, most of my friends and I went up cup size, gained weight, and/or had spotting. Some of my friends lost weight and had less acne.
You should just google your specific meds though.
No. 54962
>>54916It really depends but the worst thing is a blood clot.
I personally suffered from no sex drive (literally the worst), completely out of whack emotions (I never cry but for some reason I was bawling my eyes out on a near daily basis), it heightened my mental illness symptoms (anxiety and depression, started developing new fears of everyday things, had horrible paranoia, suicidal thoughts) and caused me to gain a lot of weight which I still haven't lost about a year later. Most people I know reported similar, especially crying a lot.
Wouldn't want to be you rn lol.
No. 54989
>>54982Not that anon, but how do you actually afford/have time for all that?
I'd love to get mani-pedis every week and take care of my hair better but it's just so much effort (and re: hair I don't even know where to start). I already feel exhausted putting on and taking off my makeup every day and taking care of my skin.
I mean I'm no slob but whenever I try to take better care of my hair, nails, feet etc it eats up so much of my time. To add insult to injury I've fair skin + black hair and my back looks really hairy, as does my arse. I wax what I can, but I always get a terrible rash afterwards (same when epilating). I can't take it anymore, I'm too poor for proper top-to-bottom maintenance and I always feel like a gorilla because the hairiest parts of me are the ones I can't get to.
No. 54990
>>54989Painting your own nails and toes isn't very hard at all, and depending on the polish you use (gel, a quick drying topcoat) it would only be about five minutes once a week.
For hair, YouTube has a lot of simple yet pretty hair styling tutorials, and a lot of easy to follow hair routines.
Not sure about the hair though, if waxing is too harsh you could try sugaring.
No. 54993
>>54842>I couldn't do any of this like normal people canLet me translate what he meant:
I've been a beta my whole life and never got any pussy. I've partially succeeded in bettering myself to attract girls, but on the inside I am still a beta male who never got any pussy. Everything is just a facade to get pussy. I actually hate modern western women, and the stress of trying to deal with them is enough to make me just give up and not get pussy.
I am being 100% completely serious, this is what he meant.
What you can do about it:
Assure him you're "not like the other girls", even though you are. Have sex with him, that's what he wants, and it's the only thing that will boost his confidence and allow him to validate himself as worthy.
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 54997
File: 1486884240972.png (77.89 KB, 497x502, Feels.png)
>>54842It ended badly by the way. I didn't even know it was possible to be so head-over-heels for somebody you went on one date with
No. 54999
>>54981What works for me (former tomboy): slightly oversized, fluffy, cute coloured (quartz pink, baby blue, white, lavender, salmon, beige, etc. according to what suits your complexion best) pieces of clothing and accessories, lots of skirts (in the shape that suits your body best), heels or cute sneakers, gel nails every 2-3 weeks, bangs and hair a bit curled at the end for a softer look (takes 5 minutes with a large curler), "natural" make up style using fresh colours with focus on lashes, lips and blush, nice looking jewelry, elegant handbags on the smaller side.
Once you're all dolled up like that the lady-like behaviour should automatically follow, if anything because you'll be scared of breaking one of your beautiful nails or messing up your cute outfit.
No. 55024
>>54997I'm so sorry anon, but at least it wasn't you, the person just isn't ready. I'm glad you got closure on it even if it wasn't what you wanted
Heartbreaking stuff really, hopefully you can find someone else you can like as much who is ready
>>54999That's all cute and good advice but something about that last paragraph reminds me of sissies kek
Chiming in to say that having matching underwear makes me feel less gross, or just a simple accessory that I can see in my field of vision (one bracelet, nice nails etc) because then I'm reminded I've made the effort.
No. 55068
>>55031Maybe she's just honed in on specific people in those groups that she wants to be friends with now. However, I've been that woman and I did avoid people that made me uneasy or seemed disinterested. You could always go out of your way to say hi to her and the groups she's in, if you can prove that you can play nice with the others and you actively want to be social
then that could fix it.
>>55066I am in no way qualified to tell you what to do, but sounds like since you can study in that 6 months anyway you should just go and avoid a life of fomo but I also know nothing about medschool. Expect rain and xenophobia from the Uk though.
No. 55319
I suppose I just wanted to rant about this artist
It's scary cuz they are kinda popular, but I'm wondering if anyone else dealt with someone like this.
I admired this person for a while, and when I started speaking to them we kinda became friends. I honestly couldn't believe it. It even got to the point where they invited me to play online video games with em.
It was during one stream they mentioned they do commissions. I stated I wish I could buy a commission. As the chat went on they convinced me to buy one. After an hour of talking to them, we decided together on something and a price, 200 dollars.
I was excited, and even more so when they gave me the presketch in just 15 minutes. It was excellent work, but I noticed it was an exact trace of a reference picture I gave them. I was too scared to call them out on the blatant trace, at this point the artist did something a bit unusual. They started sending me rather lewd pictures of themselves.
I decided that I would wait and see what they would produce when the work was done. However the next day they gave me news. They told me that the work we agreed upon was to difficult and they would need 100 dollars more to "be in the mood" to finish it. Explaining further that it was too difficult. I told them no and I needed to think on things.
It was then they asked if I wanted fan art of legend of Zelda, full metal, and other series I never mentioned. Oddly enough they asked a favor of me, if I didn't call it fan art since it would bring up anxiety. I had enough of this and I told them that I didn't want fan art.
I decided that if they couldn't finish the work we agreed on, I just wanted my money back. I even offered a 50 dollar kill fee in good spirits.
They went bonkers. Said I needed to make up my mind, that I made them suffer. I was shocked by the 180 change in behavior. I said sorry, not quite understanding how I was making them suffer (This was all in a span of 2 days)
So I decided to end the transaction and leave it be. So recently I saw them, so I didn't wanna ignore them. I decided to say hello. I apologized and wanted no negative vibes. They said they were not interested. At this point I told them I didn't mind giving them back the 200 USD (Had been doing well with my own commissions.) They snapped at me, saying I couldn't buy their empathy. I'm here staring at them like
"are you serious?"
I know what I gotta do is ignore em, and just accept how things are. But another part of me is here like "Damn it, I'm trying to show you I ain't as bad as you think I am. Just let me say I'm sorry"
sorry, that was long
No. 55324
>>55319sorry anon im just gonna go on a tangent first
>just let me say I'm sorry apologies are a two way street, anon, the other party has to be ready to hear (and accept/reject) an apology just as much as you are ready to offer it. forcing an apology on someone is just selfish (not necessarily using the term with a negative connotation here, i mean just self serving); an act to clear your own conscience.
obviously this artist "friend" (for want of a better word, considering you aren't quite friends any more) isn't ready to hear that apology. and that's ok. you've tried to offer the olive branch and make your peace with it – but its their turn now to take it, if they want it. don't get too worked up over not being able to change this "friend"'s perception of you, because it's not something you can change anyway. your zone of control ends where you do, you can't change how others think or act or feel or perceive. all you can really do is keep on keeping on and hope that the people who matter eventually come around, y'know?
the question you should really be asking yourself is "do i really wanna make time for this person" and tbh anon they sound fucking nuts lmao i'd be glad i'd gotten out mostly unscathed if i were you. i totally agree with >>55321
No. 55325
>>55321>>55324Hua, I guess you guys are right. I done all I could to extend the olive branch as you put it.
And you are right, I'm just happy they didn't send their fans on me. I actually feel kinda better about this whole situation. I mean, at least now I know what to look for.
No. 55326
File: 1487500802904.png (825.34 KB, 876x960, truth.png)
>>55319Exactly, there's not really anything else you could have done, anon. all that needs doing now is to accept it/let it go, which is one of the more difficult parts imo
>i'm just happy they didn't send their fans on me even if they did, thats all on them for using their fanbase as attack dogs, which says a lot more about them than it does about you.
i'm glad you're feeling better <3
No. 55327
>>55319Yuh, I really appreciated the advice. I honestly didn't expect it. Especially realizing that trying to get someone to accept an apology is selfish.
Though at this point I don't think I am… seeing as how my apology sucked since I wasn't even sure what I was saying sorry for…. eeeh kinda cringing at that bit. Again thank you guys for not sugar coating anything. Self reflection was really needed.
Now I shall be off to lurk these threads before goin to bed
No. 55329
>>55327No worries anon. I actually say sorry A LOT. I'm use to people talking through it with me, explaining what I did to make em upset and then happy cheers.
This is was a weird case for me since this was the first time it happened.
Then again, I kinda meet someone crazy every 4-6 months. But man they hide it well until something a lil negative comes by.
No. 55373
hey anons, I could use your advice. It's about a crush. Sorry if it's too long or filled with typos
I'm a master platonic crusher, so of course this guy is someone totally random.
We're living in the same town and I noticed him, because we always take the same last train on Sunday. At first I was like 'oh, he's fine' and that's it. Then I realized that he's always somewhere nearby, like we would always be in the same part of a station, go to the same doors, stand somewhere close. And it wasn't my intention, so then I thought - maybe it's his? I also had those vibes that he's watching me, but subtly. sooo I started to pay attention to him and realized I'm actually crushing (don't laugh…). Then suddenly he started to go somewhere else at the station and take different doors, so we were in different parts of the train. Around this time, I've seen him randomly in the mall (didn't even look at me) and at a bus stop (came, looked at me but like you would look at a pole or a tree, stood somewhere further away). He looked totally uinterested, ~the vibes~ were gone… I started to doubt everything I observed and thought that I probably imaginated stuff and generally felt really pathetic about myself. I got really angry then (at him and mostly at myself for this pointless crush) and kind of moved on.
THEN I felt like he's paying attention to me again!! Ugh at this point I was like no dude, you had your chance. Though for now I can say for sure he recognizes me and pays me some attention. We've met twice in the store and he looked somewhat flustered, especially when we randomly looked at each other and I could just see that he recognized me (the same for him probably) and he quickly averted his eyes with a slight hint of panic lol. We are both pitiable.
Now that I read this, I feel stupid for wanting your advice my kind anons, because this is really not much information to deduce something from… But if you have some thoughts, please share - Do you think he's interested, but just shy? Maybe he backed off then because I scared him off with giving him attention. Or it's all baloney and I should get a life
No. 55430
>>55373speaking of vibes! the way you narrate really gives off the "this girl is really overthinking stuff" vibe. Hard to say for true, since there's already a bias there.
I've been given this advice before, and it worked kinda well for me: Talk to him. Talk to him! Talk. To. Him. Either your crush goes away and you realize he's not that great a human being, or you hit it off and become happily married with 20 kids and a big house with at least three maids of various ages, sizes and accents.
You could ask yourself some questions just to be sure, too. Questions like "Does he look like a person I can trust? Like, not just fancy-as-a-crush trust, but genuinely-okay-human-being trust", "Does it seem like we have any interests in common? Similar age range, matching fashion, both of you give off the same vibe, idk mang you're better suited for this than me" or "What part of him makes me crush so hard? Is it something unhealthy or potentially negative for me? No dude is worth an unwanted pregnancy, time in jail or getting hooked on drugs just for him alone" work, but at the end of the day, all that matters is that you're probably thinking of him more than he's thinking of you, and you've got the power to change that. The final decision on whether you go for it or start getting over him is up to you. Best of lucks!
No. 55462
>>55440>Are mental hospitals really all that horrible?Like
>>55444 says: No, they're not. I stayed in one for a week after a failed suicide attempt. It was honestly exactly what I needed: time away from "it all" to get myself centered on
me. That was over 3 years ago and I haven't had any suicidal ideation since, the experience was that positive for me.
>Anyways, is talking about this stuff to my psych safe?Yes. talk to them. Tell them you are thinking these things and ASK them if they think a stay at a mental hospital would be beneficial to you. Tell them your fears about it, and talk to them honestly about it.
I wish so bad I had done what you are thinking of doing. I attempted suicide in November, and I can remember as early as January of that year thinking "I wish I could just go to a mental hospital and get my shit together" but like most people, fear and embarrassment stopped me. Well, let me just say, the fear and embarrassment of failing a suicide and your whole friends and family finding out FAR OUTSTRIPS going to your psych and just being honest and getting help early.
Think of it like this:
Get help now, best case scenario is it is a positive experience for healing and you don't feel any shame. Worst case is it is an embarrassing experience.
Don't get help, best case scenario is you end up trying to kill yourself and going anyways but living with that special level of shame forever. Worst case is you die.
Sorry for the soapbox, it just hits so close to home.
No. 55465
>>55440honestly it really depends on the area and the hospital. i was forced to stay inpatient in a mental hospital for over a week when i was a teenager due to a suicide atempt and self harm. i live in the south, so the hospital was very religion driven and it was required to talk about god and faith. i'm not religious so it was very unhelpful for me. it was also extremely boring and restrictive. i'm very introverted and for safety and social reasons we weren't allowed alone time unless it was for punishment.
after i got out, i tried doing therapy, but again it was very religious and the therapist was condescending towards me so i stopped. though now that i'm older i'd like to try it again with someone i'm comfortable with. i don't have health insurance tho so i think i'm out of luck.
i know it's different for adults to be inpatient, so depending on how you feel, i would seriously think about it. if i could afford it now i think the right person could really help. if you have the means to go, i wouldn't waste it
No. 55466
I don't know if this post is going to be coherent but I'm just going to take a huge shit on my keyboard and toss it on this thread. Generally I'm pretty stable so hopefully I don't sound like a complete nutcase.
At the core of it, I'm struggling with existential despair (aren't we all~) but I've always been an extremely "guilty" person in addition to the usual "what's the point" sentiments. This guilt I feel is more like intrusive thoughts along the lines of
>guilt for growing up and how that must make my mom feel
>guilt whenever I see signs of my family aging
>guilt for not pushing through my anxiety to pass my drivers test (last three I've messed up something and end up crying). My grandmother has been ready to give me her car for years and I feel like such trash knowing someday I'll regret how I didn't try harder so I could drive over to spend time with her
Right down to things like
>guilt for spending money on myself instead of donating or helping with animal causes
It's a fucking weight. Birthdays are the hardest so I do my best to be as positive as possible but I always get in this weird funk about it for days. I'm able to cruise along alright when I follow generic day routine, but next week I'm going on a family trip for the first time in over 10 years and I don't want my shit brain to ruin what should be an amazingly happy time.
I hate this weird… tragic retrospective lens I view my life through. If that makes sense…
It's been this way since I was a kid. I don't know how to truly enjoy the moment without feeling this horrible sadness/terror about it as if I'm terminally ill and everyone's trying to put on a good show for the dying kid. God that sounds so pathetically self pitying, but I mean, I imagine everyone hides that they know how much I try everyday and it crushes me knowing they must worry so much.
I've been to many therapists and nothing's seemed to help. I'm just on an antidepressant now but I'm so fucking high strung all the time. I was in an abusive relationship for a few years but I've recovered as well as I could hope for. My life is objectively good now (loving family, work online and travel whenever, long distance but stable relationship with bf, proactive with mindfulness techniques and I combat depression quite well) so what the fuck, me?
Wrote this out and then spent 7 hours lying in bed unable to sleep. Slept and woke up with total paranoia. I'm kind of concerned now since, while not too common, once I get in these terror/dreads moods nothing helps for weeks. I think I've just convinced myself to give therapy and a new med another go but that won't happen for months. I guess it's like panic attacks without the hyperventilating? I don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for, I guess reassurance that someone with similar experiences has had luck with a medication I've yet to try. Whatever this is it's not something I can fight just with mind over matter thinking. Bleh, bit ashamed for writing so much bile but I'm just desperate to get healthy for my family.
No. 55547
>>55444>>55461>>55465 Thanks for the replies, it's hard to think if I'm in a okay area as I live in the middle of nowhere so I assume I have a few choices. But looking at the closest cities I can't say that looks like they will be any good at all.
>>55462I understand what you mean about the embarrassment. Sadly about 3 years ago I attempted to kill myself. I was never sent to a mental ward despite being hospitalized for 4 days due to overdosing. I met with a crisis counselor and she decided with my anxiety that it was probably worse to send me. I think they assumed it was an impulse decision for something stupid, not that I can blame them. Im horrible at talking about my problems. I brush things off too well to people, make it seem nothing wrong is going on and this was just some random crazy moment of being overdramatic.
I tried my best to keep it secret from anyone outside immediate family but I guess some people can't keep secrets. I want to go get help so it doesn't happen again, but it's hard to admit to people, even if they are doctors.
No. 55551
I'm the kind of person that has an immense need to fix something when it's wrong/broken. It's how my stupid ass got stuck in an abusive relationship for entirely too long. If there's something bugging me, something I'm worried about or stressed over, I have to talk it over to work through it in my head. Even just talking out loud to myself or talking to my cat helps a lot, my brain and mouth need to work in tandem to sort shit out.
Whenever there's a problem with my S/O I have to talk about it over and over to figure out why I'm upset over it and how it can be solved. I NEED to talk about things, but he's the exact opposite. His mouth never works when he wants to say something and he just closes in on himself.
Lead back to us yesterday having a conversation about something stupid that I ended up pissing him off about, and instead of just outright saying what I wanted to say (which would have made him angry but made me feel better) I just apologized and dropped it. I come home from work a few hours later and instantly get mad over the same thing since I hadn't talked it over and gotten it out. Set scene for me almost walking out and slamming the door, him actually walking out and leaving, me following behind him sobbing saying "I'm sorry" repeatedly because my brain shut off and my mouth wouldn't, then me jumping in my friend's car crying and snotting everywhere about our fight.
I talked it over with my friend since she's the same as my boyfriend, her brain works but her mouth doesn't, and we agreed I need to just let things go instead of trying to fix it. But I can't. I don't know how. How do you just shut your mind off and the need to make things right?
I probably have lingering relationship issues from my ex, there was always just another fight and another fight and I'd always have to apologize and fix it to make him happy even if it wasn't my fault. There was always so much guilt if I didn't fix the problems that it made me physically sick. If I didn't apologize and "make it right" there'd just be constant threats and guilt trips and insults. I just can't understand how to make myself stop thinking like it was back then.
I even brought up that I felt like it was the same as with my ex, there'd be a problem and I'd have to apologize instead of getting it out and I'd still be mad about it and just look crazy because I "can't let it go."
Sorry for the rant,
tldr; got into a fight with bf because I can't learn to let things go/not fix every problem. How do I stop being stupid?
No. 55895
>>55894Your reaction is very common, some people will just have panic attacks when they use it.
Your boyfriend is also much bigger than you, and has a tolerance, yet you're probably trying to use just as much as him. You're probably using too much.
No. 55897
>>55551Communication issues are always hard to deal with. Maybe try to find another way to be able to talk with your SO? Tbh I dont think you should just "let go". This should be not just ignored.
Maybe your SO is the rather introverted kind and works out things by himself rather than speaking out loud? How about you write him a letter were you explain in detail what you think the issue is, how it makes you feel and how you would like to make things work. Remember, it should not be you against him or anything but you both against the problem.
While reading he has time to really think about each sentence and hopefully write back a letter, too. Where you can see how he feels. Maybe add a little sentence asking for such a reply at the end, you know how men are regarding pickup up hints like that.
No. 55898
>>55894Weed is really more potent than people say. I think it might have been a panic attack, too. They seem to be different for everyone lol. Mine are that my hands get numb and shaky and I puke and puke and puke until just water comes out. Others have extreme high pulse and sweating etc.
Really sucks.
Well, I'd say you may have taken too much and not drank enough water maybe?
No. 55899
>>55881I'm sorry to tell you but LDR really never work out.
Especially not when your bf acts like that. I think that was really selfish and seems like he's not as invested into the relationship as you are.
And yes ofc you have all the right to be upset. It's a bad sign that you even have to ask for it. Is this really the way you deserve to be treated?
If I were in your position I would stand up for myself and set some rules so that the relationship can work. And if he thinks those aren't needed it's up to you to know ofc, but please know your self-worth. Don't keep running after boys that think some other girls birthday is more important than yours.
No. 55912
>>55899I'm married to my once LDR. So please don't say they never work out.
That said, the boyfriend doesn't sound too genuine.
No. 55922
>haven't seen bf in 2 weeks due to school stuff
>don't feel like I miss him or anything
>get annoyed when talking to him via text sometimes, don't talk much
I'm pretty conflicted, anons. I think I'm just tired after a long day and don't feel like talking to him (or any of my other friends, either) because I'm an 'introvert,' but at the same time, shouldn't you want to talk to someone you love as much as you can? Shouldn't you feel like you miss them when you haven't seen them for a while? I don't know what the problem is, it's like I don't have any strong emotions whatsoever, and I feel like this applies to more people in my life than just my bf.
Thing is, he is a good bf and treats me super well, yet with my previous relationships I wanted to talk to the guys 24/7, and they treated me like shit. However I think this is because I had no friends, was insecure, depressed, and desperate for a connection.
Maybe I'm taking my current bf for granted, then?
Ugh.
No. 55929
>>55922Do you consistently feel pretty 'blah' all the time? In the past few years would you say you've noticed hobbies/spare time stuff doesn't make you happy like it used to?
Depression can be exhibited as a lack of enthusiasm or 'looking forward to', because it just reduces the emotional response - bad things are just annoying, good things are meh. You don't end up having a 1-10 emotional scale, more like 3-6.
No. 55939
>>55929Yeah anon, that's precisely how I've felt for several years now, actually. I'm not sure what to do about it since it hasn't gone away on its own naturally, but I do think its gotten less severe. When I feel happy, it lasts a moment before I think of a reason why something isn't that great.
Anybody have suggestions besides medication or therapy? (Ty, btw)
No. 56181
>>44951How do I get over physical attraction?
I very briefly hung out with this guy who is a literal 9.6. He ended up wanting to hookup, whilst I had envisioned more of a relationship, so we parted ways. Now I'm stuck with just this awkward sort of physical/sexual attraction to him. My college is tiny and I see him everyday…
No. 56211
How much sex a week is actually normal in a relationship?
I'm currently with my second bf ever that I love and he also has a great dick. The thing is, for some reason when he's stressed out by IRL shit he doesn't want to sleep with me.
I try it all, I dress more sexily, kiss his neck, hell even outright grab his dick. But he just shoves me away.
The bf I had before, was never all that sexually satisfying, but even at the end of our almost two year relationship we had sex almost everyday, and often even multiple times a day. And overall we were way more cuddly, passionate and touching.
Now, although I cum lots of times IF he is DTF unlike in the relationship before, I don't feel truly satisfied. I have huge self-esteem issues and kind of need to know that I'm indeed attractive and pretty etc. At the beginning everything was great, and I even fulfill some of his deviant fetishes. But now, after 10 months of being together it's just once a week! And even then it's not even PiV but he just fingers me, he kind of gives off the vibe he's just doing it as a chore.
I really don't know. I'm pretty sure he doesn't cheat on me, because he's just not the kind of person to do that but still I'm so confused. I didn't really gain weight or anything.
Maybe I should add, he has a rather dominant role in bed. While this does turn me on, I can't help but notice that I feel a little bit too objectified during sex sometimes. I can't really recall when we slept with each other and were really cuddly and passionate. Like telling the other that you love them, looking deeply in the eyes etc.
How to deal with this? Am I just the weird one? ;__;
I just really want that D
No. 56212
>>56181Why not hookup and see if you can make him want a relationship?
Maybe he just got out of one and doesn't feel quite ready. So you could aim by making him fall in love, so that he can't help but try more serious things with you, too.
No. 56226
>>56211There's not right answer - age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and natural libido, the quality of their overall relationship are just a few things out of A TON that can affect it month to month, or even year to year.
It's generally advised from sex therapists to try and hit the once a week mark. There's some controversy about how many % of couples are actually doing that and it varies depending on study. It's a good benchmark though.
For some 2-3 times a month is enough, and for a few people 1 a month is fine. It really just depends on your situation. If there's a lot going on IRL in his life yeah, I could see him not being down for sex - not because he isn't interested, but because he's too tired mentally to even think about that. Sex is still effort (if it's good sex), and he may have run out of that by the time he gets home.Figure out what the things are bothering him IRL and if you can help. If you can't help but you see "hey, that sucks, I can see why you're so stressed" then cut him some slack.
If he's never really 'connected' during sex, and he treats all the sex with you as a good fuck, but just a fuck (no cuddling, no eye contact intimacy, ect) then there's another problem entirely. He honestly sounds like an ex I had. In the end, he just wasn't that into me and just wanted sex with someone he could chill with once in awhile. I wasn't really down with that.
No. 56252
>>56211other anon has solid advice, there is no normal and there are many variables. but have you talked about it with him? I have the same self esteem issues and even though it doesn't relieve blue ovaries, verbally communicating that I am dtf and that he thinks I'm hot but is too stressed for it helps. so did buying a vibrator for solo and lazy couple play.
however I wanted to add that if there is a problem when you are sleeping together then you need to address that too. if you feel objectified or unloved then you need to talk about that, and you also need to lead by example because he can't read your mind. tell him what to do or not do ask what he likes and physically move the scenario into what you want. sometimes there needs to be compromise like he gets some bdsm and you get some cuddles, but if you aren't compatible then it might just not be working. if you can't talk about sex then you shouldn't be having it
>>56241don't?
No. 56253
>>56211Talk to him. You are both adults. You cannot have a healthy, fulfilling sex life unless you communicate your thoughts feelings and desires.
>>56241It depends on the deal breaker. Is it potentially changeable on either side? Is it set in stone no matter what? If the former, it might be resolvable. If the latter, honey you're fucked. Fundamental differences can and will kill relationships.
No. 56297
>>56211Not every guy has the same sex drive or motivation for sex like your other bf does.
Just fucking talk to him.
No. 56320
This is a really personal question.
I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and up until now, our sex life has been really kinky, to the point of weird and actively disliked by other people. Lately my life has been getting better and better for me and I find less of a need for fucked up sexual deviancy to distract me. Kinky sex, such as threesomes and pretending to be a little girl, are now becoming apparent to me as not fitting in with my value systems. By myself, I can only get off to the most horrid things when about 2 years ago, before I met him, I had quite clean vanilla fantasies. I feel like I consent to the behaviours we've both been doing, but that Pavlov's dog is very much a thing and now iI've become self loathing. I find myself more and more wanting a sexual relationship that's a lot more normal. Besides my boyfriend's problems with porn and sexuality, I love him very much. We have talked about it but I don't know how restraining someone from what they enjoy will hold up, even for his wellbeing as well. I feel stuck and I feel like I want out of this relationship. Has anyone had a similar problem with kink?
No. 56336
>>56331Thank you so much for your advice. I know things can't stay the same anymore.
>>56327I don't watch porn but I definitely masturbate to fantasies, so I'll stop. I've only recently gotten my sex drive back so it will suck, but I wonder if he will. He told me today "I don't want my kinks to ruin everything we have".
No. 56577
File: 1489704228953.gif (178.36 KB, 275x205, 1442964969165.gif)
How do I get rid of negative people who drag me down, but are long time friends who I still care about?
One of my best friends has acted really negatively lately. She feels shitty and tries to make me feel shitty with her. She's always done that during bad moments but it never really bothered me. But now it does because I've changed things in my life and I wanna be a more positive person (one of my goals is not lurking/commenting on here as much as I do now because it brings out the worst in me sometimes).
I love this person but it's like… It's either me or you, right now, you know? I thought a lot and there's really no other option because I already kindly told her she needs to stop being negative about everything, and I don't wanna have to talk about that again because she made a huge drama the first time.
Do I just disappear for a while? What should I say/do? Have you gone through something similar where you felt like you had to stop talking to a good friend because they were depressing you? Should I feel like an asshole (I've been friends with this person for a more than 10 years).
I feel like a cunt just for posting this, it makes me think I am a shitty friend. maybe I really am, but I just don't know what to do anymore, I am not immune to the things she says.
Thanks in advance
No. 56622
>>56577Other anon explained it really well, but I would adivse not to act hasty. You may regret it. If she's giving you a hard time bad enough for you to think about distancing yourself, then why not taking another shot at trying to explain your feelings? If the other option is dropping her, then I think you should try everything you can. Then you won't be left with regrets. On the other hand, your friendship must be dying already if you really think about dropping her because of her being negative. Sorry for being harsh, but it sounds a bit silly and like an excuse.
Just like >>56585 said, evaluate what you feel. Do you really want to be friends with this person? Aside from if she changes or not? Try talking with her again, and if she starts drama and refuses to listen, then try distancing yourself. If you won't miss her and will be better without her, then bye. Just don't throw everything away immediately.
No. 56782
>>56720There are some great resources on youtube, but of course I can't remember the exact one I'm thinking about. it might be charisma on command? Demand?
If you can't find anything I'll dig up a link for you tomorrow!
No. 56851
>>55547I'm this anon again. Didn't go to a ward. Did go to my psych and was put on meds again. It hasn't been long enough to take effect yet. I feel like this isn't appropriate for this thread anymore but it feels weird just switching to a new thread to say all the same stuff.
Anyways, I've been so depressed and trying to not show it too much but I slip a lot. I'm a complete bitch to everyone who talks to me, I crave talking to them though too, it makes no sense why I'm like this, I want the interaction but at the same time it exhausts me and I try to avoid it. I'm so mean, I'm so lonely, but I feel like I don't deserve the nice people I have around me. I've been having more breakdowns lately, with nothing to actually
trigger it. This more of the advice part I feel like a retard of even having to ask this, I think I gave myself a black eye, I've never been a big self harmed until breakdowns, I don't cut myself, but I do hit myself. I need to either hide it or make a reason for it.
I can't have my family knowing this, I bet they already think lowly of me, plus my mother would just get angry with me.
No. 56908
>>56895You answered your own questions in your post.
>One time he told me he didn't really need many friends now that he has me, but he has still gone out with his male friends although very very few times. He doesn't hang out with females at all. When we first started dating he left some club activities he would do his with ex (they were in a painting class together). So it seems he feels that when he's in a relationship, any friendships with the opposite sex is viewed as inappropriate. These feelings might be heightened because you guys are in an LDR, and he probably has to sit an listen to you drone on about all the things you are doing that may include dudes, hence the
>"you seem to talk to a lot of guys?"This happens more with traditional/conservative type people, but I'm also getting the creepy controlling vibe from him, so tread lightly.
No. 56916
>Have same best friend since high school (almost 10 years)
>used to be catty bitches together, all fun times
>friend group dwindles down to us and two others
>shit happens, down to 3, her, me and girl A
>more shit happens, girl A is cut out, down to just us
>constantly be catty bitches to old friends between ourselves
>shit talking and general cunt behavior
>two years pass, I start growing up and admit I fucked up and was a terrible person to other girls
>strike up friendship with girl A, building bridges and having good fun again
Now my friend of 10 years is being weirdly salty about it. I asked her to come hang with us and try to build friendships again, that girl A matured a lot etc. She went "yeaahh I mean like.. I guess I can but ehh.. Her voice annoys me but if you want I GUESS I can…" And then a week later acts like she was on board the entire time to hang out.
Now I found out she's going to our local anime convention and didn't even tell me she bought her tickets or got her hotel and she's rooming with others. We always went together, we always cosplayed and hung out and had fun and blew too much money on shit merch, now she just cut me out and didn't ask if I was going.
I wonder if it's because she sees it as some sort of betrayal on my end, but I just genuinely got tired of being catty and bitchy all the time to other girls because I was jealous and/or threatened by them existing.
No. 56968
>>56916You say both of you have a friendship on being petty bitches. Of course she will do petty shit like leave you out of things when you upset her.
The best thing to do would be cut off ties if you want to get mature friends, since she hasnt grown up
No. 56975
>>56916I would say it's a simple petty revenge. Yes, she does feel betrayed. If my friend just approached me and said 'hey listen, I am no longer interested in games/books/fantasy/anything that clips us together, I like economics now and I'm gonna hang out with this person we didn't like but is into economics, so… bye. But you can hang out with us, if you want' then yeah, I would be hella bitter lol
If you like her and she's worth keeping, just talk to her, don't let her feel like you're moving on and leaving her behind. Try not to invite her to hang out with you and your new friend, but give her attention individually, so she knows she's still important to you, not just someone tagging along. Just be slow with changes. If she refuses to change, then I guess your ways will part naturally.
No. 56976
>>56975>>56968I just can't wrap my head around it fully, we still talk and hang out but every time we do she's just making it more apparent she's not interested in doing anything with her life anymore. We're in our early 20's and I feel like the high school days are over, I mean ffs she's still picking on a girl from 3 years ago because the girl posted about smoking pot and yet she smokes too.
It's that kind of petty shit I'm over, the pot calling the kettle black type of stuff.
Girl A and us two had everything in common but she made some mistakes and us two being catty bitches overlooked ours and focused on Girl A's and cut her out while belittling her for being human.
I don't want to just end the friendship but I've tried nudging her in the "right" direction, the adult direction, but she just acted like it was a huge imposition. she's in this shitty downward spiral with everything and I've asked her to get help but she'd rather drink, smoke and sleep and not go to work.
She's the kind of person that's stubborn but to such a degree that they end up fucking themselves over trying to prove someone wrong.
No. 56979
>>56976Sorry to double post but I should have elaborated more.
I'm not cutting her out completely, but Girl A and I have things in common that my friend and I don't like wearing makeup and dressing up and being girly and wearing lolita.
She and I went to the zoo in full lolita and had a huge blast, we spent the weekend hanging out and eating weird food that the other girl would never have done.
Girl A, my friend and I are like a venn diagram of interests, some of them overlap and some of them don't at all. So I enjoy having both their company for those reasons. Girl A and I have only spent 3 days together in 3 weeks whereas my friend and I have seen each other 3 or so times in 2 weeks.
That's what is also throwing me, I'm giving them both equal time considering we all live miles apart and all have jobs, and I'm in college. But I get the distinct impression my friend thinks this is some huge slap in the face.
She's even gone so far to refuse to tell me the hotel she's staying at for the convention and backpeddaled and said she didn't have the hotel after all.
sorry I should probably take this to a vent thread but eh. I wish I knew how to fix this.
No. 56992
>>56979I get where you are coming from, but at the same time… uh. You said you both are in your early twenties, a lot of people don't have their lives figured out at this age. Let her work her shit out, don't be so condenscending with this 'tried to nudging her in the adult direction' damn girl, you like anime, conventions and lolita. You think this is oh so adult? Don't want to judge you, I don't think some interests are exclusive for particular age, but get off your high horse for a bit. Just leave her be, don't expect her to change because you did. It's childish.
I honestly understand you and can emphatize with you, but also I wish you would stop judging her so much and supported her instead. Sorry if this offends you, I can only draw conclusions from what you said, and it's obviously more complicated irl. But think about it.
No. 56998
>>56992She's getting wasted at work (using heavy equipment like a forklift) and skipped days to go fuck around with her boyfriend in a park, that's what I meant by not doing anything and what I'm trying to nudge her away from. That's her downward spiral.
I've asked her to get help but she'd rather "smoke it away" so trying to reconnect her to more people and grow up was my last idea, get back into old friendships and hobbies with us and maybe it would drag her out of whatever this is.
No. 57012
>>56998Fuck anon, that is bad. :( I see two issues here.
1. It seems like she is getting into some serious substance abuse toxic patterns and that is extremely difficult to deal with because people will not change unless they want to. I am not against pot but if it is getting to the point where it is affecting one's responsibility and is endangering their life, it's gotten to be a problem and concern. If this is new behavior maybe something else really bad is going on in her life and she is compensating. That 'smoke it away' thing seems like a defense mechanism to deflect your legit concerns.
2. If me and a friend have mutually disliked someone and then all the sudden she went and befriended that person I would feel hurt/insulted. It's kind of a fuck-you in a way, like out of all the people in the world you made a conscious decision to reach out to someone we both disliked? IDK.
No. 57026
>>57012She's had issues before but pulled out of them, this time she's just not wanting to try at all and I'm not sure what to do to help her. She's stubborn as I mentioned before and would rather take herself down than get help.
And yeah, I can see that as being a big issue but at this point it's been 2 years since we cut the girl out, for really dumb childish reasons we practically made up ourselves. She made mistakes like everyone does but we really narrowed in on them and blew them up and cut her out for god knows what reason.
It wasn't so much legitimate hate, just "lmao what a dumbass" and mindless shit talk and gossip. Back when we, Girl A my friend and I, were all friends, she was doing so well with a lot of stuff. I thought maybe since we've started growing up we could reconnect and fix everything. It may have been dumb but it was my last thought, since she's just as unwilling to make friends as she is stubborn.
No. 57051
>>57026No, I don't think it was dumb at all, I know your heart was in the right place and after you explained why I see where you were coming from. I was just offering why it may have upset her. It is hard as we grow up and find new interests and priorities and grow apart. I really feel for you, there is nothing more exasperating than seeing someone sinking and refusing to grab the lifeline you throw them.
Honestly if she is important to you I think it may be wise to consider having a really warm-hearted talk where you let your emotions show. I would frankly approach her about friend A and your reconnect. It might help her if you acknowledge that you now realize that she might be really hurt by it and are sorry if it has hurt her. Tell her that was not your intent, tell her how much she has meant to you, that you care about her and are genuinely worried for her. If she throws up deflective dismissals, gently call her out on them. It is time for a heart-to-heart. If she gets bitchy and petty, at least you have communicated your truth and hopefully that may bring you some peace.
No. 57078
>>57076>he took a picture of me and tried to photoshop it to make me look asian because i didnt "look good enough" and he loved asian submissive waifus with flat chests kawaii voices and short girlsThat's utterly fucked up and cringy.
>i feel like he will end up getting with some asian girl or end up not finding me attractive anymore.If you go for tourism there's little chance he'll get with a girl or even have a one night stand unless you go clubbing every night. And being in Japan should make him realize ugly Japanese people exist anyways.
In general, a yellow fever is a huge red flag. There are a few Japanese girls in my uni and you can bet they all get asked out a lot, even if they're completely average looking. The guys who like them are most often creepy dorks, mostly with a lack of confidence. Guys like that are utterly delusional and think the only reason why they're single is because girls are sluts/bitches, and that sweet Japanese girls would never act like that to them.
Please don't lower yourself to the standards of such creeps, you shouldn't be sad about not getting attention from those kinds of people.
No. 57115
>>57076Basically everything
>>57078 said
It's the autistic retards you hang out with making you feel like trash. An asian girl would equally feel bad if she was hanging out on /pol/ all the time or with alt-right losers who constantly spout how white women are master race goddesses who need to be protected.
Try to surround yourself with people who manage their geeky obsessions in a healthy manner and don't heavily project it onto others.
No. 57135
>>57115thank you so much for this i thought i was crazy for getting upset over this but that's a good way of looking at it
>>57125 ive talked to my bf about this before and he reassures me and stuff it's nice but i still find myself worrying in the back of my mind because of my low self esteem. in the end i think it'll be okay though! thank you
No. 57139
>>57138>Do you think those things would put him offNot really, and even they did, unless he's a complete asshole he shouldn't comment on them. He'll probably be curious about that scar but I wouldn't fear much more. Also if these veins are only on one side of your boobs he might not even notice, plus if you really feel uncomfortable there's nothing wrong with keeping a bra or sexy lacey top on during sex. Maybe tell him beforehand though so you don't ruin the mood by saying no when he tries to get you out of it.
>Any tips for how to worry less about my scars and veinsI'd say try not to think of them but that's not easy I suppose. Also understand most people have weird bodies and visible scars/veins/stretch marks somewhere that they feel bad about but there's no reason to be ashamed of them, you're not a model and that's fine. Even models don't have perfect skin anyways.
No. 57169
File: 1490718529318.jpg (12.07 KB, 350x168, Pale-blue-costume-contact-lens…)
i got coloured contact lenses
the only thing is
my vision is blurry when wearing them
i think i can see the inside of the coloured bit of the lens????
can someone tell me if its normal this is my first time wearing contact lenses
they feel comfortable its just that they make my goddamn vision blurry
No. 57196
>>57169seconding what
>>57175 said. i have problems where contacts make my vision worse if my eyes are dry and im tired, but they are perfectly see through. you shouldn't be seeing anything tbh, and the lenses themselves should be super thin.
where did you get your contact from anon, or what brand is it?
No. 57199
>>57138overreacting
once you get it over with, it'll be a million times easier to handle and you'll forget it's even there, and you'll wonder why you were being so neurotic in the first place
No. 57215
>>57213Nothing wrong with this unless your last sentence:
>I was gonna go and have fun anyway because I haven't been to a concert in foreverwas phrased kind of dickish, because of the "anyway". Not sure what you're worried about?
No. 57216
>>57215I was paraphrasing for you guys, I just said to her, "aw, sounds good I'll just go and have fun, haven't been to a concert in forever"
I just care about making sure we should still be friends, since my past experience (shit tier experience from high school) girls I liked and I couldn't get along after things didn't work out.
No. 57222
I was bulimic from age 16-22, became extremely underweight in college, had a mental breakdown from childhood PTSD, got into therapy, put on anti-depressants that made me manic and put on literally 100lbs over the next few years, diagnosed bipolar2, off those meds onto mood stabilizers-
Finally seeing things clearly for a year. Still fat, still eating disordered (I don't purge anymore) and now I feel extremely depressed all day about being fat on top of everything else.
Whenever I diet it sends me into binges eventually and I gain the weight back because like I said, I don't purge. I've been trying for a year. I'm vegan, eat healthy (unless I'm super depressed then sometimes I order out) and I count calories but I always inevitably binge. It's so hard not to purge but I don't want to go back to that, I don't want my teeth to fall out or other worse things. The problem is, I have never lost weight without my eating disorder before so I don't know how.
Does anyone have any advice?
No. 57223
>>57222Have you tried talking to a nutritionist/dietitian? and a therapist for your ed
Are you sure you're eating enough? That's usually what makes people binge. They tend to cut off too many calories too fast.
Best of luck anon
No. 57225
>>57223I don't have enough money to see a nutritionist at the moment, I'm already seeing a neurologist and an ophthalmologist for an unrelated problem so I can't fit in another specialist at the moment but you're right, I should definitely look into that.
I am seeing a therapist but I haven't told her about my eating issues out of fear I guess. We've got a lot to work through about my trauma and bipolar and I feel kind of insecure about my ED when it comes to doctors which is stupid, I know.
When I'm dieting I do restrict quite low but I guess it's because I'm so desperate to stop being fat. I know logically it's probably making me binge more but I just hate being this size in the meantime, it's mental agony.
No. 57226
>>57224Vegan food isn't automatically low-calorie, I wish it was lol.
I'd LOVE to keep my kitchen free of breads/pastas/fake meats/cheeses etc but my boyfriend eats like a horse and it's not going to work.
Maybe it is about discipline. I don't know how I used to have the discipline to go on 7 day water fasts, exercise until I fainted and never eat anything over 100 calories but it used to be automatic to me.
Now my discipline is just: remember something my mother did to me as a child- oops I'm eating a sandwich and crying
No. 57269
>>57258I love hummus but for some reason I just don't trust the nutritional labels on it, there is no way it's as low-cal as some companies say it is.
Sometimes I compare brands and the difference can be 3x as much between them for very very similar ingredients. I guess I'm just paranoid because it tastes so great.
No. 57295
>>44951>>57286don't hold your pee in (pee every 2 hours)
clean the area with only water ( no soap )
cranberry pills can help
No. 57296
>>57287Sounds like he's implying she wouldn't get sexy with him often enough and that's why she was a ~frigid bitch~ or some shit.
Not trying to be rude but I hate guys who talk like that about their exes
Either she had a low drive and/or he was being a prick and pressuring her into sex constantly. Gross.
No. 57297
>>57296he didn't talk about her like that no, we were arguing about her and I found it hard to accept that back then he had been the frigid one and that surely he must have been all over her
He's a virgin, he's not a sex pressurer either, or at least not to my knowledge.
No. 57301
>>56895>right now he is doing the typical Japanese ignore when upset. They actually do this?
Asian/White relationships are always doomed for these sorts of reasons. Everyone believes they're going to be the one who proves the exception to the rule because their partner is "different", or they're "different" (or both).
But the thing to remember is that the older people get, the more traditional they become. What I mean by this is they start to become more like their parents and embody the values of whatever wider group they're a part of.
No. 57306
>>57301I didn't really know much about Japanese culture or anything before him but I found out from others it is 'typical'. he says he is not ignoring me but that he is "thinking".
we have a 10 year age difference if this adds to the story.
he always seemed to be very 'americanized' so i thought he would be more like an american guy…as stupid as this sounds. He never seemed like a "traditional" guy because he told me he didn't believe in a lot of Japanese traditions and he disproved of Japanese society in a few ways…But recently he was asking how I feel about being a housewife randomly so I think he still has some traditional values.
as per the 'argument' we had he said he does not care if i talk to guys, he said he was upset that i "lied' by saying i did not when i was talking to mutual friend. he said that he understood that to me it was a lie but to him it was and that was why he was upset.
No. 57310
File: 1490907417683.jpg (18.39 KB, 219x320, jesus_save_me_from_your_follow…)
This is gonna sound a bit weird but eh…
I was raised in a very Christian and strict household but now that I'm older I want to experience a nice sexual life before I settle down someday. That means I wanna get D (and pussy if possible). Not necessarily get so much sex I won't be able to walk for a couple days or get into threesomes every weekend, but you know what I mean. I want a bit of variety and to break free a little from my life of celibacy.
I'm bisexual (and biromantic if you're looking for labels) but I haven't had sex in a year and never been with a male, only with a woman. I spent way too long pursuing a LDR and lost my already shitty IRL romance skills.
I don't even know how to approach people to have sex lol god, I sound dumb as fuck typing this out but it is true. The only time I had sex was with one of my good friends and she was curious to have sex with a woman do it gradually happened.
I'm not a NEET (I have a sucky job and a degree), but I'm pretty much a shut in and shy girl due to how I was raised. I can't fathom the thought of going to a club to hit on people or get hit on by people, or similar stuff.
I'm also living with my family at the moment because of financial reasons, so I'd have to do things low-key because they're all super religious and I'd like to avoid trouble with them because things would be pretty rough if they kicked me out (especially money wise $$)
I was so desperate last year that I almost had sex with one of my friends but he has a girlfriend. I gave up in the last minute.
I've been losing weight (dieting) and will start working out soon because I want to feel more desirable in the future. Tbh that's also one of the reasons why I didn't fuck my friend: he had a girlfriend he was living with AND my self esteem was really bad.
It's like… I only know how to seduce people if we're friends already ughhh and I don't want that, I barely even have friends anyway.
Sometimes I go through weeks and phases of thinking I shouldn'tdo that because God this, god that, even know I have no faith. It's like… Deep in my brain due to my upbringing. So having some fun protected sex would help set me free, I hope. I also want to enjoy what I didn't enjoy in my late teens to early 20s (I'm almost in my mid twenties now, I'm 24.)
Hopefully this wasn't too confusing
… Thanks if anyone tries to help.
I.Am.Lost.
No. 57336
>>57310From experience: Don't use sex to fix things. Anything. Sex isn't going to set you free and the majority of sex (especially hookups) are too disappointing to be "freeing".
I was raised Christian too and I'm not anymore lol, but what helped me feel free from my ridiculous upbringing was finding meaning in my life that had nothing to do with god. Like relationships, friends, hobbies, jobs, university, house-sharing. These are all freeing because they made me feel more independent.
Hooking up was as temporary as dropping acid for me, awesome for a night but it landed me right back into a shitty strict family that wouldn't let me do what I wanted (and I regretted what I did the night before lmao)
Anyway, there's nothing wrong with getting into relationships with your friends (I've been with my best friend for 6 years now) but don't fuck around too close to your friend group. If it's going to cause a rift between friends and cause fights (and split up relationships?? what the hell were you thinking lmao??) then your sex life is too inbred with your friendships. You gotta make NEW friends and go to parties. I'm shy as fuck and the only way I meet interesting people is either through university, friends of friends or being part of (local) groups online that share the same interests and have meetups eg. art.
Only then can you find someone decent to fuck lol.
No. 57344
>>57306>>57301>>Asian/White relationships are always doomed for these sorts of reasons.Nah, anon this is definitely a Japanese thing.
But seriously, Japanese guys are the worst. Most of them act like spoiled children if they don't get their way, and they are stingy AF. Unless you are obsessed with Japan and need a green card, you'll get tired of this immature shit FAST.
No. 57359
File: 1490961470949.jpg (20.86 KB, 640x237, Frisco-Texas-eye-contacts.jpg)
Any anons that wear (prescription) contacts?
I used to wear them but couldn't continue because one of my eye lid got constantly dry near the tear duct area which made wearing them a pain in the ass. I also have astigmatism which made them more expensive compared to standard ones. Would like to give them another chance tho.
Is there anything I can do about the dryness? Eye drops maybe? Can you apply it without your eye watering and ruining your makeup?
Any advice about contacts would be appreciated <3
No. 57414
File: 1491042814140.jpg (827.65 KB, 2560x1536, 20170401_100443.jpg)
This is my eyebrows without plucking and the rest
I'm very new to eyebrow care- what shape should I pluck and arch them and how do I use makeup on them? I don't know what kind of brow would compliment me at all ;-;
No. 57415
>>57414your eyebrows are nice and full, dont fuck with them by changing their natural shape. just pluck the sparse hairs that are below that line where the hair stops being full and starts going sparse. it's pretty clear imo.
i dont think you even need makeup on them, i think filling them in will make them look too much but if you want that instaglam defined brow (which is quickly becoming outdated, tho) then just use a brow powder and brush or brow pencil that matches your hair color and fill in the brow. it's like coloring in the lines.
No. 57416
>>57415Aah really? thank you! I'll follow their natural shape and just go from there and not overdo it- cheers!
So pluck at the ones underneath? what should I do about the ones on the inside where the bridge of my nose starts? should I pluck those too?
No. 57423
>>57418idk anon, I agree they aren't much better, but my experience is that they at least aren't so stingy and can act like normal human beings lol
Of course there are much better choices in the world (or Asia if you like asian guys) than either Japanese or Korean…I personally wouldn't date a Japanese
or Korean guy though.
No. 57431
>>57427I like Japanese and Korean societies, just not the men as more than friends lol
>>57428I don't have experience with dating guys from all Asian countries, but Chinese, Vietnamese, and Singaporean are the best choices for male partners in my experience.
Never dated a guy from a developing/lesser developed Asian country except Thailand and Mongolia, and they seem in between Japanese/Korean and my opinion of the best choices. Don't know anything about Filipinos, Malaysians, Taiwanese, or Indonesians for dating though.
I seriously think Japanese and Korean guys are only popular because of anime and kpop. Not trying to offend anyone, just sharing my experiences…although I've only met 1 person happily married to a Japanese man and even my Japanese female friends don't want to date their own men so yeah lol.
No. 57435
>>57434I don't just date Asians although I pretty much only date educated Africans (from Western Africa) and Chinese (or similar places like Hong Kong). They are more physically attractive to me than other races, but appearance don't matter too much to me. I find Japanese/Koreans attractive physically, but won't date them anymore because of their behaviors (don't treat women very well).
I like the cultures of the guys I date, and my exes (usually broke up with them only because I moved) have been really wonderful partners (romantic, generous, sweet, faithful, smart, rich, marriage-oriented).
No. 57436
>>57435I'm guessing you're African?
Generally I find that asians and white/European people are mismatched. Europeans like open displays of affirmation and love and this makes East Asians uncomfortable.
I'm surprised you say Japanese are worse than Chinese men though. Cheating on your wife with a mistress is more or less de facto accepted practice for men in Singapore and south east Asian Chinese diaspora. Same with mainlanders. Wives are expected to tolerate it.
No. 57437
>>57436I'm white American, but have lived in a lot of countries.
Maybe the men who date outside their race/cultures from these countries are less likely to cheat etc. or because they come from wealthier backgrounds. Idk but I've definitely found they defy the stereotypes. I'm not very touchy-feely, but my exes loved public displays of affection and were pretty forward about their feelings so who knows lol
I did notice what you are saying still applied even when I dated Japanese or Koreans though. It's just weird haha, but either way the anon here who said her Japanese long-distance boyfriend ignores her after petty arguments probably should move on from him (imagine being married and having kids with someone like that..)
No. 57438
>>57437That's wishful thinking. A lot of Korean men view white women as sluts. Same with Chinese men. Japanese men in general behave with a bit more decorum. And the wealthier the person in a Chinese society the more accepted and expected it is for them to cheat.
I wouldn't sleep with any African just give the sky high rates of std and because I find their facial features quite unattractive. Plus men from my own background wouldn't want anything to do with me afterwards, I remember going through a yellow fever phase as a teen was enough to get a warning from my dad about the reality of how cultural differences can come up in ways you never expect (sexless marriages in Asia being acceptable practice and widespread is probably the one I was most surprised by). To each their own though.
No. 57441
>>57440Why are you so upset? I didn't insult anyone. The STD rates are objectively huge in that part of the world and the comment about facial features is my own subjective opinion.
I think what snapped me out of my yellow fever phase was the idea of kids. I don't want to be the only white person in my family when I'm 40 odd.
No. 57442
>>57438Experience isn't wishful thinking anon.
Sorry your dad was against dating other races/cultures. My parents are totally cool with it as long as the guy treats me well and is educated. But yeah, to each their own.
No. 57444
>>57442When I was younger I cursed my dad for that so much but now I'm older I get what he means. He just wants me to be safe and loved and with someone who doesn't view me as a fetish.
I actually did briefly date (read: hold hands for a while and eat out together a couple of times with) with a overseas Korean. The funny thing is that during the second dinner date he saw a white guy with an Asian girl at the table over from ours and spent the entire evening ranting about how much he hated quite guys dating Asian girls. Completely oblivious. Like something out of a sketch show kek.
No. 57447
>>57445I disagree on this point. You have to look at the people who have been married a while in places like the far east. Among late 30 something white men and women not many of them are happy, at least the ones I encountered in Japan.
My feeling is people tend to get on better with their own people unless they have some form of explicit or latent self hatred. White men who obsess over asian women hate themselves and have low self esteem. Same with white women. When I used to obsess over Japanese and Korean men I was at a low ebb in my life. The fantasy presented to me by their media seemed so attractive and the men seemed so refined, but it's all fake deep down. Asians are not interested in romance, they're interested in marriage as a quid pro quo exchange of tangible and material things. Perhaps our take on marriage is more delusional and unreachable but it's more appealing to me as a person.
No. 57469
File: 1491150483148.jpg (37.37 KB, 500x333, tumblr_nvx3aeqKRT1qb1xf7o1_500…)
>>57468Hi Amy, you're more than welcome to vent here and you can be anon and feel safer, but remember that we can only give you advice and point you in the direction of services relating to abuse
A starting point is here, so first of all, are you comfortable going into more detail about your situation? People won't judge you here and everyone on the advice threads are lovely and also really honest so hopefully you'll feel safe here.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through abuse and depression problems right now, as an abuse survivior myself I really feel for you. Let's try and figure out the first steps to what to do okay?
You are no bother at all.
No. 57474
>>57469I don't believe any of you can point me to the services since I don't live in NA or EU.
I can probably start by commenting what happened this year, that won't require much depth into my past, even though it might get confusing, but I don't know when it could get confusing so you will have me to ask about stuff you didn't understand.
For the last 6 or 7 months I've been dealing with a perverted old person who legally owns the house I live in even though the original owner himself didn't want to let his things go to that person.
This person was coming to the place I sleep in to masturbate while I was sleeping, after I caught what was happening this person tried to act like nothing was happening, I told my mother about what happened and she started acting like I probably didn't get what was happening, even though it was so close I could hear the person orgasming loud enough to wake me up twice in a week. This person is now trying to put the whole family against me and I'm having no support from my family or friends, days ago this person started complaining to other people about me constantly closing the window when it passed near my window.
I already went through a lot of shit since 2011 and every time I realize I'm going through this kind of absurd shit I start having panic attacks because I have no idea how to deal with this.
The person is about 81 years old, so it can't be arrested. The person can't be kicked out of the house legally so even if I legally win the battle, I would have to leave the house, therefore I would become homeless since I have no job or income.
All of this makes my depression get worse, I've been considering suicide for years now due to a lot of things that happened, I go in and out of crisis, every time I get out of one I start thinking it was stupid to consider suicide, everytime I enter one I start thinking it is stupid to keep going on when I only had abusive relationships, a mother that thinks everything is fine just because she pays some medicine I use, even though she was completely incompetent to teach their kids about sexual abuse and blamed me for what happened to me when I was a kid.
Spent years thinking what happened was something a father would normally do and it was probably ok because I didn't understand.
I was locked inside my house until I was 14, older relatives walked with me to school and back, when I was 14 these adults allowed me to walk half of the way to the school, so I used that to go through places I never knew existed.
When I was a kid I was in love with a girl that lived right near my house but I couldn't spend time with her because I was locked inside my house, I though that was normal, I don't think that is normal anymore, I'm still here, I'm not locked anymore, but I also have nowhere to go because I have difficulties with social interactions, I still don't know how that works naturally for other people, but to be fair I don't expect to, I was only able to talk to strangers when I was 17, and only through online stuff, when I tried to date a boy I liked in 2009 I still had to use my cellphone to write down things for him to see, phrases that normal people would say to each other, but I couldn't because I didn't know how to do that. He though I was weird for writing things down on the phone even though we were on the same room. I wrote too much.
No. 57477
>>57474First of all, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, I don't know what services are avaliable in your country but really, your family should be on your side through this.
I don't understand why this man's age prevents him being arrested or why he can't be kicked out legally, at the least, he should be given some kind of sentence, or at least in the UK indecent exposure and masturbation of that kind counts as a sexual offense.
Have you tried approaching your mother since? She needs to understand that antidepressants are not a fix for depression itself, but it sounds like she was negligent during your upbringing. Do you have any other relatives or trusted people you can turn to? I know there's confidential phonelines and services, you just need to look for them. You've got internet access and a phone so from there, quietly do your research.
Are you in contact with the original owner? it sounds like they could help you, at least to an extent because they seemed hesitant about this man owning the house. They could also be someone outside your family who will listen to you.
Meanwhile, see if you can get some proof. Someone as a witness, or set up a camera or a recording device overnight in your room somewhere as discreet as possible. Then you take the evidence of this man and you can report him to authorities, there is no way a landlord or house owner can get away with that kind of behaviour.
It also means you have ammunition if he tries to turn your family against you. Something proving he is not to be trusted.
If you're worried about homelessness and jobs, as another resort, could you sign for a job centre kind of place? Somewhere that will help you find work, agencies that will help you get a job even with little experience so even if it is a retail or starting job, you can save up, get the hell out and pay rent. If your family are that toxic you can start fresh and cut them off and live somewhere safer and get to know a local community that will hopefully keep you safe, and then nobody is keeping you trapped like a princess in a castle anymore.
Please don't kill yourself anon, I know it's hard but you should aim to live long enough that you see yourself get out of this mess and have a future you always dreamed of. You're not a bother and you're worth it.
No. 57480
>>57477In my country you can't be arrested if you are over 70-75, I don't remember the exact age.
I talk to my mother sometimes, mostly because she approaches me asking for help with random crap.
The original owner is dead.
I can't set up a camera, and my mother built basically a wall of useless shit in the middle of the room, shit that she keeps around for no reason, says I can't complain about it because it doesn't in the way of me using the computer.
since October I changed my sleeping schedule, I try not to sleep at night, which is the time this person used to come down to the room I sleep in.
This person has a bed of it's own, comes to my room with the excuse that setting up the bed on it's room would be annoying.
It is pointless to sign for those places, last time I tried it was february, got rejected for being trans and therefore not having the profile employers want.
The family knows this person can't be trusted, from playing the victim to neighbors to committing social security fraud, the family knows this person is a piece of shit, they just don't want to go against this person because it is their mother.
Which is why my mother asks me to ignore everything through the argument of "the person is old", like being old is an excuse for disgusting behavior.
If I leave this house I won't talk to these people, either through death or a miracle. Blood relatives have proven they are just a burden for me with their excuses for shady shit happening for years.
Rent is expensive here, while the common salary is 1200-1300 unities of currency for common people, the rent is at least 600, with the requirement of a relative with a fixed house backing up the deal in case you can't pay for some time down the line.
Getting out of this mess alive is only worth it depending on how it happens, I think I am getting too old to have a chance at my dream job, and I can't do it in this country anyway, which makes it a stupid dream to begin with.
No. 57485
>>57483Do you have any education? Can you find a job anywhere? Do you speak Spanish? If so, you can start applying for jobs online. They can probably do a Skype interview. Sounds like your family is abusive and dysfunctional, so your best bet would be to try and find a way out. Even if you have to take out loans, going to university could be a good way out, plus it would be easy to get a job far away afterward.
Sorry to hear about your situation Amy. I hope the creepy old guy dies soon so he can rid the world of his filthiness.
No. 57487
>>57485I abandoned school in 2008, getting death threats from thugs for not working for free to them was the last straw.
I don't get the question about speaking spanish.
There are no loans, education here doesn't work like in the US, public universities have tests, people who pass get "free" education, which is why 60% of the people who pass are already rich since they have time to study while the rest works while trying to find openings to study for the tests.
There is no student loan system, depending on how much you earn the town hall accepts to pay a percentage of the monthly payment you would to to a private university, that means you need to be working and earning enough to pay the town hall back all the money they used on you, it is not a loan because you are supposed to pay while also studying, like if it's 600 a month, they pay 200, and you pay 50 to them, 400 to the institution.
It is quite a weird system.
I can't go to the university because I abandoned school. Homeschooling is a crime so it doesn't matter if you learned stuff outside of school.
Only rich universities have campuses where you can stay away from your family, normal ones work just like the standard school, so you need to travel there and back everyday.
I don't think I would go to university anyway, there is nothing there for me.
No. 57492
>>57487Find a way to get internet popular and set up a patreon/ask for donations on paypal.
Get a lock for your door when you can afford it.
Work on your deoression. Go out and exercise.
No. 57510
Amy,
I'm Brazilian as well and honestly you're full of excuses. You didn't finish school? Maybe try EJA (educação para jovens e adultos)… Which is FREE. Yes, it takes a while but can be easily done and as long as you study, then you will get your diploma. If you don't want to wait, you can pay 50 reais at any regular school which offers EJA and finish one subject at a time (50 reais for math, 50 for chemistry, etc etc). It takes only a few weeks for you to finish the entire program and then congrats, you have a high school diploma.
Also, my bf is American and always complains about his student loan. In Brazil you can get into a public uni for free as long as you're not dumb as a fucking rock and even get into exchange student program – for free – as long as you speak English, have good grades and is willing to pay for your visa. They will pay for all the rest. That's what I did while I was attending uni (yes, it was a public university).
I come from a middle class family, and I am a teacher – I teach teenagers and young adults who go through the same shit as you and get over their problems and make it. Thats why you enrage me. God, yes the country is full of problems but if cunts like you don't actually try to better yourselves, then nothing will ever get better. Also, be happy you've been given chances to attend school and get everything for free.
Stop pity partying and act.
No. 57512
>>57511PPS so I'm gonna sage:
Finish HS through EJA and apply for a job at a language school. They take young people with no experience (my first job) if they are in real need of teachers. Wizard does that and as far as I know other schools do too. You get paid by the amount of hours you work; it's not much in the beginning but enough for you to save enough to change your life. Good luck
No. 57518
>>57510few weeks my ass, 6 months for every year not finished.
I'm not going back to school to deal with random bastards again, I don't care about finishing school, I never wrote down that I intend on doing so.
When I said I didn't finish school that was part of the explanation about how universities work, and I clearly wrote that I have no intent on joining one, there is nothing there for me because my dream job has nothing to do with shit they teach there.
Didn't expect to have to explain shit to a moron who can't ask before talking shit, people like you are one of the reasons why I despise this country and the people inside it already.
Fucking ask if I want to do X before assuming I need\want to do so, it is easier than to drop random shit to me when it's fucking useless since I don't want to finish school.
Have I wrote down enough about not wanting to finish school? I hope so.
I already wrote down that I am trans, stop acting like they are going to hire a trans person mid-transition to be a fucking teacher.
If you comment anything assuming shit again I'll just leave, either ask first or don't write to me at all.
No. 57519
>>57518What about you stop talking then?
This is the advice thread and if you're talking here that means you're looking for feedback and advice. You've gotten plenty of help. If you I don't like the advice then just leave it be as someone actually took time to try to help you? Someone who tried to offer you actual ideas on how to fix your shit?
And even though a farmhand told you to stop name fagging you keep doing it, "Amy". I don't hate trans people like many do on here but I kinda get why so many anons say they're fucking whiny self absorbed assholes with their sad stories. Fuck off.
No. 57522
>>57492I don't see how exercise would help, and I won't ask for money.
Years ago I was popular on the internet for a while, about 8-10 months, and that only got me spammers, weird people sending me messages, men ignoring the fact that I am lesbian, and diseased maniacs threatening me for being trans on some of my internet profiles. There is no pay-off for internet popularity when it's not big enough to scary these people into avoiding you.
To be fair I got popular for the wrong reasons, I just had gone through a crisis at the time and was dating an abusive woman, I hadn't learned my lesson at the time about this kind of people, and because she was popular and I had social problems, she basically could paint me as anything she wanted to other people, and she dumped me when her fetish about dating a "girly boy" went away.
Which is a good thing since she was basically a manipulative psycho, but since then I have nowhere to go to avoid this house.
I had a job later, worked adapting scripts from english to portuguese for a studio that dubbed some random History channel series, it payed extremely well, but I only got the job because the daughter of somebody inside the company was trans too, the same daughter who screwed me out of the job by kicking me out in favor of her already rich now ex-girlfriend having the job, even though she didn't need one because her family owns hotels, tried sending my work to other studios to see if I got a job on those, it would be enough money to leave this house and live by myself, still in this shit hole of a country but at least outside this house, I got no reply so I stopped sending it about 2 months ago.
No. 57524
>>57492Also, there is no door, forgot to say that, everyone else in the family has their own room with a door, but the piece of shit I mentioned earlier insists on coming to the room where I sleep in, it's infuriating every night, but at least I changed my sleeping schedule, I don't sleep at night anymore so that the person can't do their shit, unless it wanted to clearly do while the light is on and I am awake, which it tried sometimes, also that is why I left for hours, had to sleep in the afternoon.
No. 57525
>>57519I didn't ask for feedback and "advice" about universities for fucks sake, if you read anything I wrote down here, it is about dealing with the current situation, which is abuse and depression, I hope I don't have to mention that again, otherwise I'll be as far from polite as possible.
Reading isn't that hard, you should try.
No. 57531
>>57519seeing your comment makes me think that, from us both, I'm clearly not the one who deserves to deal with sexual harassment and depression.
Too bad there is no universal justice to shove you into my situation, maybe going through some years of that would fix your behavior towards me.
And what the hell is namefagging? is that cursing? is that calling someone something? if that is the case what is the proper way of treating someone who can't go up in the post to read what was the point of my original posts before someone started talking about university? It should have been simple but random people like you appear after only reading the last handful of comments and think they have everything figured out.
I don't need advice regarding education because that is not the point of me being here.
And sorry that I finish my comments before updating the page to see what you wrote, maybe you also shouldn't expect people to read you first before finishing what they were already writing for minutes.
No. 57533
>>57530great advice, I am already considering killing myself for a long time so I guess you get points for hitting something related to the reason I posted here in the first place.
I'm not a regular here, my first comment implies I just started, I'm only here about the post\comment\whatever-you-call-it that I wrote, after it is finished I'll be gone either way, so banning is pointless, it just means this session ended earlier, I guess.
No. 57534
>>57531where do you think you are? Tumblr? Is this your first time on a chan? This is lolcow, what are you expecting? Also, people have been very nice to you overall, you're the only who keeps insisting on namefagging and bitching when people offer help and a plan that would require you to go out of your comfort zone
>>57532im sorry, fam. i won't spend more time on amy, i agree that he's clearly disturbed
No. 57537
>>57534Ok, good bye people.
thanks for the useless advice when it comes to universities even though I don't want or need to go to one.
Thanks for acting like I have money to set up a system where I record something through the night and have to fake being asleep through the procedure since there is no way I am actually sleeping with that person close to me.
Also, thanks for acting like I can walk down to some job center and they will handle me a job.
Or that I would magically be hired as a teacher mid-transition.
So much help, thank you very much.
And, to the people basically making fun of the situation, you are probably no different than abusers or people who do sexual harassment.
Good night.
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 57538
>>57537Tons of anons on this board are sexual abuse survivors, you shitty entitled newfag. you were the first to be rude when you were given advice you didn't like and then you kept namefagging even after being told not to do that. no one "made fun" of your situation. people tried to be helpful many times. and telling people to kill themselves is pretty much an old standard meme around imageboards. what else do you say to someone rude and bitter who clearly won't do anything to fix their life?
bye bye, amy
No. 57550
File: 1491209938584.jpg (34.5 KB, 413x395, 1310483412100.jpg)
>>57537
> give "useless advice" to someone being increasingly difficult, tell them as a sidenote to not use the name field
> no different to abusers or sex offendersjesus christ "Amy"
Maybe you could handle the real world if you weren't so quick to accuse people of things! Do you even know what abuse is to make such an open comment? Plenty of abuse and sexual abuse survivors here, some even who tried to help you and you're getting your panties in a twist over getting told the same thing anyone else here would
probably a troll after all
No. 57560
File: 1491221235129.jpg (102.59 KB, 720x960, Cqn3EUTWgAARvLX.jpg)
How do I get my eyebrows like this? Every time I go to a eyebrow thread place they just make it slightly lifted and thinner.
I need to look like this
No. 57561
>>57515I haven't, it's so hard to arrange appointments at the doctor I'm registered to because the receptionists are really rude and they send you home with painkillers
I could try a dermo though, thanks for the tip! Where could I get steroid cream?
No. 57562
>>57560Take a picture with you?
Maybe they're not doing it the way you want because it wouldn't suit your face or because you don't have enough hairs
No. 57564
>>57562I have thick eyebrow hairs .
They are Pakistani and probably dont understand me tbh
No. 57580
>>57566For the love of god, don't self-diagnose.
People with aspergers suffer so god damn much with education and social development, it would be criminal if your parents avoided getting you help in school.
Please see a doctor if you're having any issues like that. You may well have a mental illness instead. I've had people think I was aspergers when I over-share when manic (I'm bipolar), over-sharing is often just a product of (over)excitement/anxiety.
There could be loads of things up. You might just be a spaz lmao. Just don't go tumblring around saying you're autistic. Sorry to jump down your throat but it's been getting on my nerves.
No. 57597
>>57591I suggest trying to locate your "
triggers" then. What kind of headspace are you in when the word vomit flows? What di you feel right before it's happening? Not saying that you share it with us, but try to really look at yourself when it's about to happen/happening. Is it stress? Anxiety? Joy? Fact of the matter is, sometimes peoplr have shitty friends. You might just be an exitable person who needs some new cool likeminded people in their life. You might need to work on stepping back and taking a breather. You might just have to make some social media acc to spam, or even start a diary. Go! Get to know yourself anon, show us the meaning of haste.
No. 57609
>>57602Everyday pretty is attractive in a wholesome and life-affirming sort of way, in the way that they can become the most beautiful person in the world if you like them enough. Also if they have a terrible personality then they cease to become attractive, so you start to blend their nice personality with their nice looks in your mind, so it's a sort of attractive that's harder to pin down because it's caught up with them as a person.
Hollywood pretty is fascinating and alluring but not in a way that makes me like myself, like i want to prod their freakishly symmetrical features because I can't believe they're a person. Of course they're a person, and I don't like the way that I could dehumanise them so easily, even a just little bit. It must be cool to be pretty like this but in a way I don't envy them.
Dudes prefer the latter because they are attracted to normal women, girls prefer the former because they want to be them, from the perspective of myself as a part-time woman lover.
No. 57637
File: 1491296243534.jpg (67.8 KB, 1280x720, xh_mPeLT.jpg)
I did an art degree for uni and graduated and decided to stay in my uni town
To do this I had to accept I wouldn't get a creative job right away and this is fine
I ended up being thrown by job centre into a particularly abusive retail job, I won't name what company
I've been there for just over a year and need to get out by summer because my mother insists I do and honestly they make my mental health plummet
we've had 4 managers because nobody can stay to turn the shithole around and they gave me a TON of shit to go home and see my terminally ill dad, as if I had to justify it. I'm in my early 20s and he has less than a year to live because of cancer, this has been the last straw for me because I had managers spite-rotaing me for going home to see him and actually bullying me and I don't want to make a big HR case out of it
I live alone and pay rent but my flat is run down and the cheapest because it's all I can afford
I really want a Mon-Friday admin job and to be able to afford a better flat but no matter how much I apply or how I redo my CV nobody bites or I fail the interviews
this is driving me crazy
How do I get out of this shithole job into a better paid Mon-fri job so I can do my art stuff on the side and also earn more money? I'm in the UK if that helps
I need to get out and my depression is really really getting to me on top of the fact I'm gonna lose my father soon
No. 57638
>>57637>>I really want a Mon-Friday admin job and to be able to afford a better flat but no matter how much I apply or how I redo my CV nobody bites or I fail the interviewsSorry to hear about your situation anon (especially about your dad, that sucks), but I am sure things will get better for you! You only need for one place to hire you to be through with that crappy job. Do you think the places aren't hiring you because of your Art degree (not sure which degrees they prefer for admin jobs), lack of experience, or not knowing enough of the skill sets they are seeking?
I have a friend in the Uk who has a better (in employers' eyes) degree and experience who couldn't find a job for 2 years there. After the 2 years, she took some kind of certificate programs to specialize in certain areas in the field and got a good job.
From what I understand it's pretty competitive to find a job in the UK (like apply 6 months to 1 year before graduating uni competitive) so don't beat yourself up tooo much. Just try to figure out what isn't getting you interviews first on your CV. Then try to figure out what goes wrong during interviews. You might also want to look into graduate school. A lot of people with art degrees get MBA's in order to get higher paying jobs/be more desirable to employers.
Good luck anon, and sorry again about your dad! Just remember he'll still be around, just not visible is all. BTW, maybe look into some antidepressants, for a lot of us (myself included) they
do work.
No. 57655
>>57638Hey thank you, you're really kind, I'll try and keep a little optimism!
I'll see if I can figure that out, sadly I know the last interview I failed could have been helped, I had a job interview at a college two hours before having to take a train home to see dad in hospital (he'd gone downhill) and couldn't rearrange so I was really nervous because of that and not the interview and I didn't get the job and they told me it was because I was so nervous!
I used to be on antidepressants and now I'm off them- maybe I should go back on. I'll just keep applying and trying my best, thank you anon!
No. 57664
>>57655A lot of people fail interviews and go through downsides before things get better. I guess out of shame, most people don't share it though (think Facebook, where basically it's all about celebrations/what went right).
I hate to say I'm one of those people, but it's true. I'm just too embarrassed to share any of my hard times with others, so I put on a front that everything is going as planned lol
Anyway, yeah just keep applying and you'll get a better job in no time! If somehow, if nothing transpires, then take it from there (whether it's going back to school, teaching yourself new skill sets to add to your CV or applying out of the region or even country for positions). Everything will work out anon, and yeah I love my antidepressants lol so if they worked for you before then it might be a good idea to go back on them during this stressful time. Good luck again!
No. 57693
>>57678start going to the gym
>but i don't want tostart improving your 5k time
No. 57750
File: 1491524435365.jpg (59.56 KB, 500x375, colors-and-trends-at-home-text…)
>>57702Try a dehumidifier. As for coziness, try doing something with textiles. Rugs, window treatments, throws, and pillows can make a huge difference without too much investment.
No. 57751
>>57708Try keeping a journal. It'll help you identify self-destructive patterns and you'll notice which situations lead to stress, and which things best help you mitigate that stress.
And it's corny, but try using this for self-harm and other self-destructive behaviors. "Hurt myself" can be replaced with whatever behavior is relevant at the moment.
https://archive.is/5n01F#selection-415.0-439.25 Writing it down does help.
No. 57785
>>57780Call a salon to get it waxed or pull out the razor.
But honestly why bother
No. 57893
I'm not sure what kind of advice anyone could give me on this since I'm not sure myself, I'm hella confused, but might be worth a try.
Recently my ex-friend added me back on fb. After 3 years of 0 contact and maybe seeing her 5 times randomly through that time. I expected her to message me or something, as that's the usual case when she needs help with her music, advice or anything, but so far nothing.
Some background:
She's 4 or so years younger, which is one of the reasons why I "broke up" the friendship (read: we had an argument and I was so done with her shit I just unfriended her and never talked to her ever again on any social media), it made me really uncomfortable and I was legally an adult. I also wanted her to hang out more with her peers rather than adults, since she was still a kid and I was mentally in a really bad place and was scared it could rub off on her.
What's weird is that she added me like a week after I deleted an insta sock account. I followed a lot of people there, including her, but never posted anything personal or related to myself. The age was fake, name, location etc.
Maybe it's just a coincidence? Would it be weird to approach someone after dropping them like a hot potato? Not that I really plan to, but it's odd. We don't have any mutuals on FB since I only have 4 people added that I'm close to and from work.
No. 57910
>>57903Thanks, I didn't expect a reply
It probably is, maybe it was an accident, who knows, I was just confused about it. It's been 3 years, she's also turning 18 this year so maybe she's not as "annoying" like she used to be, she was just a kid after all.
Might send her a message this week, idk.
No. 57953
>>57948>By the time I read all the papers once almost 30-45 minutes passAll the papers as in, one 5-20 pages category? That's not too much time honestly.
Try reading the material and taking notes as you go. Re-read your notes immediately after you're done to check if you understand everything you've written, and if something seems unclear either re-read the corresponding part or research in on the Internet or other books. I like to use a lot of colors to take note, and color coding can help, try to find a system that would make your particular study material easier to approach, like actually take half an hour thinking on how to approach the thing before even starting to study, if you feel like it might help.
Quizz yourself every now and then, try to put yourself in the same conditions as the exam. If the tests from previous years are available try to get them and do them seriously as if it was the real exam.
I'd recommend going to the library or somewhere calm with very few distractions to study. Get an app to limit how much you can use your phone so you don't get distracted too much, or leave it at home/in another room when you're studying.
Find a good rhythm to take breaks. I like to study for around 2 hours, then a 30 minute break with some facebook and some youtube, and then back to it, but you might find it easier to do 15 minutes breaks every hour or work with no break for 4 hours and then stop.
If you find it hard concentrating try to do sports before, or meditation every morning.
Lastly you can find a lot of advice on studying on youtube or pinterest.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
No. 57957
>>57953I don't think I'd need to take notes of, basically, notes? Since the format is Q&A. Will give it a try tho, make a shorter version or something.
I get up at 5am and come home at 5pm + at least 2 hours of housework, cooking etc, once I'm done with everything it's already 8pm. Libraries aren't really an option then. I try to study at work, instrumental music helps to drown the noise from the surrounding offices and I already installed "forest" on my browser.
Thanks anon, the advice is appreciated (:
No. 58196
>>44951long time lurker, first time posting so sorry in advance if I make any mistakes. This shit is going to sound like such petty highschool bullshit but I'm just not sure what the best way to proceed would be so here goes:
I have a friend who I recently got back in contact with after like 2 years of not speaking. He and I both split up with our partners at around the same time, the person he was with was pretty controlling and already had a grudge against me (never met her, but he was forbidden from seeing me and she has me blocked on social media despite me not having a fucking clue who she was until recently) if he went out with any of his other friends without her he'd be guilt tripped super hard about it too. She kind of isolated him from certain people. Anyway because he was no longer with her he started hanging around in my circles more often, practically living at my house for a couple of months, and we ended up having this friends with benefits thing going on for awhile.
a few months after he broke up with his ex though, he suddenly started being really depressed about it and missing the shit out of her but still wasn't sure what he wanted. Even though from everything I heard the relationship sounded toxic as fuck, I encouraged him to at least get back in touch with her so he can either have proper closure and move on or give it another try if that's what he really wants.
So he got back in touch with her, stopped hanging round my place and then he blocked me on social media too. I text him asking why, got no answer. So I asked people from our circle. They told me that after he got back in touch with his ex, she said that she had been receiving harassing messages. At first he was blaming other people for it, but then she said one of the messages said "I'm sucking his cock right now" so obviously he thinks it's me. My other friends asked to see the messages, his ex said she deleted them all and didn't keep screenshots plus the number was blocked. Personally I think that she's completely making it up, based on previous stories I've heard about her it sounds like something she would do. But he believes her. He's certain I've been sending her these texts. She won't take it to the police though (another reason I think the messages don't even exist in the first place). And now she's been asking around for my address for some reason, fuck knows what she wants to do.
What can I do to clear my name? Because I live alone and she's been asking for my address it's made me pretty anxious, I'm considering going to the police myself since she won't but I don't know if the police will actually do anything or if it'll just make it worse and aggravate her or something.
Sorry for the wall of text.
No. 58199
>>58175Have you done any therapy?
It helps a lot with stuff like that.
No. 58387
>>58196Who do you care about 'clearing your name to' specifically? If you definitely didn't send any message like that, then there's no way you could actually be charged for her lies. She can't actually magic evidence for something like that up, especially when police often don't care about real cyberstalking, so unless she's technically harassing you or making you feel genuinely unsafe in your home then there's no real reason to take it to the police yourself. At the same time, lodging a complaint might make you feel more secure.
You have to just be unemotional and honest about the situation if you want people to be on your side, but try not to be drawn into the gossip and don't let it get to you. Her own shit behavior will eventually catch up and anyone with half a brain will see her for what she is. I'm sorry to say that you might lose friendship to that guy if not others and that feels horrible but if they blindly listen to someone with such a clearly jealous and toxic bias then there's no real loss.
No. 58399
>>58196These types of situations are shit because there is nothing you can do. Anything you do will fuel her and give her ammunition.
The best thing is to ignore it. Don't talk about it, don't interact with either of them. If you give her enough rope she will hang herself. Give it enough time and people will see what is really happening. It will be rough and shit but it will be worth it in the end.
Remember, the opinions of idiots don't matter. Sit back and let her sperg on until everyone else catches on to her crap.
No. 58647
>>58646to just go* for other guys.
i'd also like to add he doesn't know about my feelings. the breakup is kind of recent and it seems like they will not get back together, but i dont want to open my heart, be a rebound relationship, and have they get back together in the end>>58646
No. 58700
>>58692I kinda feel you. My boyfriend has a lot of friends while I only have people I'm cordial with from class and two friends I speak to more often than others, apart from that he's my best friend. I'm lucky because he prioritizes me, to the point it relieves me a bit when he hangs out with them because I wouldn't want his friendship to be hurt because of me.
It does makes me feel a bit inferior (sometimes I think about how dumb it'll look at our wedding when he has all his friends here while I'll just have two friends and my cats) but there's nothing much to do apart from "getting a life" like anon before me said. However I wouldn't say you absolutely need to find friends, I know in my case I have a hard time finding people I can get close with (I like to think I'm very friendly, and I always try to converse with people and get to know them, but up till now my bf is the only person I really feel like I can call a close friend), so I focus on my hobbies and studying.
Get into something, be it a creative hobby, learning a language, or playing a sport or a video game, join online communities…
Don't force yourself to go out at boring places with people you half care about, it's not worth it.
No. 58704
does anyone here have experience with following a spouse to another country? did it work out for the best or do you regret moving?
my spouse works for a canadian company located in a city with a lower cost of living than where we currently live. the city looks nice, but is also very far north and isolated, imo. however, his salary would have significantly more buying power there and we could actually afford to rent a nice house with a yard, accumulate savings, etc. the company offers an attractive relocation package as well.
we both dislike where we currently live, but have stayed here because i am still completing my bachelor's degree (2 yrs left). i am contemplating transferring to a university in the city his work is located, but am scared i'll fall behind if i take a semester off to make the move.
i'm also terrified of not being able to work while studying like i can here. a big fear of mine is becoming financially trapped with a man. my spouse is receptive to this and offered me an emergency fund large enough to cover any situation where i would want to leave him (which is unlikely considering we were close friends for over a decade before getting involved), but still idk. it's not as comforting as the fact that i can survive on my current income alone. once i finish my degree, i'll obviously look for work in that city, but it's that gap in between that stresses me out.
another fear is the fact that i am prone to depression and worry i won't be able to make friends there… most of his coworkers, including his boss, are long time personal friends of his so he already has a large social network there. i don't have many friends to begin with and no family besides my spouse, so i'm nervous to leave my best friend behind. my spouse told me he would pay for her to come visit us whenever i want and also that we could get a dog for extra company (something i've always wanted), but still. i have decent social skills, but i am very introverted and most of my hobbies are solitary. the main way i make friends is through work, but if i can't work, i'll have to find some other way. joining clubs hasn't really worked for me in the past because i naturally come off as being super serious, even when i feel like i'm making an active effort to be more approachable :(
we've been debating the move for over a year now and our lease ends soon, should i just bite the bullet and go?
i feel like this might a good opportunity for us, but also that my concerns are valid. my spouse refuses to go without me so the decision is ultimately mine, but i'm feeling guilty because of my anxiety. he had the option to move there 2 years ago when he was first hired and we weren't together, but choose to pursue a relationship with me instead. i know that if we move, we will probably stay there for a while, if not permanently, so making this decision feels very heavy and terrifying to me.
sorry about the novel. thanks to anyone who read my woes.
No. 58710
>>58704I'm not experienced at all with such situations, but I feel like you should take the leap and go for it, Anon. Your spouse sounds like a great person. And you can get a dog, that's awesome.
No doubt it'll be a bit difficult but it sounds worth it. For the universities, is it not possible to move during summer holidays so you can go back to class on time? In any case just one semester isn't such a big deal, I think. And are there any reasons you wouldn't be able to find work? Of course you never know if finding a job will be easy but unless there are reasons that would prevent you from working at all you should keep hope.
No. 58738
>>58704Im also saying go for it.
It's not like you can never go back. Let's say after half a year you feel terrible and want to move back. You could still do it, pick up your studies and do it.
Have you talked with your boss about a back-up plan? Or maybe with your friend for any short-term stay-over panic button if its not working out?
Ive actually moved countries and my then boyfriend of at the time 6 years followed me after 2 years of long distance relationship. It turned out great, were still together and now married.
Friends can also move away by the way.
Blood's thicker than water. Your spouse is family, your friend is not.
I would never decide life decisions on friends tbh. If youre introverted, not instantly making friends shouldnt really take a toll on you.
No. 58810
File: 1492994025619.jpg (47.19 KB, 400x480, b866a064b9bc8637ebfa25112ed581…)
Excuse me for this post but I didn't know which thread would be suited for this. I need opinions rather than advice.
I'm going to Disney World in a few weeks and I was wondering if it would be practical to wear a casual sundress with shorts underneath so I don't expose myself while getting on/off rides. The only thing that irks me about this is layering shorts under a dress because I know it's going to be hot as balls. Like, I might as well just wear a tank top and shorts, right? And would winds be a problem? It'd be kinda dumb/annoying to have my shorts constantly exposed by breezes.
I want to wear a dress because I live in a small hick town in a cold state where women just wear jeans and a t-shirt all year long so I've always been too shy to wear dresses for fear I stick out like a sore thumb. I figure no one would really give a shit at Disney because I'll be in a giant crowd with people from all over the world. I just want to feel cute in my lil dress, farmers.
No. 58816
>>58811>>58812Thank you gals. I feel a lot better about wearing a dress now and will be packing a few!
>>58813I do not but since you mentioned it, I'll go out and buy some. That sounds a lot more concealing than wearing my thin cotton Charlotte Russe short shorts that basically look like women's boxers. Thanks!
No. 58837
>>58810As the other anons have said, bike/spandex shorts will be a lifesaver. Plus they will keep your thighs/butt from getting gross and sweaty because it can get extremely hot in the parks.
And dress-wise you won't stick out at all. There are women in full makeup and heels at the parks, trust me, a dress won't be considered weird.
No. 58930
Does anyone here have any experience with NoFap/Rebooting? Me and my boyfriend have both had quite destructive pasts related to masturbation to the point of not being able to orgasm at all unless certain very specific standards were met.
So i decided to stop masturbating, unless i did it in a healthy way and not relying on old bad habits, and it's been going well. Except now i'm barely ever horny, not even when i'm with him, and i think he's the sexiest man on earth.
Almost nothing gets me aroused now. Although my orgasms are way better during sex than they ever were before, i rarely ever want to have sex to begin with.
I might just be going through a 'low libido period' or smth, i can't always be expected to want to have sex, right? I mean, it must be common to have ups and downs when it comes to libido. I'm just afraid it's the NoFap/Rebooting thing that is ruining it for me.
Bf is being extremely accepting and kind to me about this, and it's something we discuss regularly in an honest way. He's doing well with the NoFap, but for me it just feels like some tedious eternal balance between masturbating the exact correct way and having an existing sex life. I could quit masturbating completely, but i'm afraid i'll never be horny ever then. And if i fap to much i'm afraid i won't be able to orgasm at all during sex, and having to rely on old destructive habits to enjoy it fully.
No. 58975
File: 1493163006770.jpg (8.76 KB, 235x211, 845868456.jpg)
What would you guys do in my situation?
I moved into an apartment last year, not knowing that the previous tenants were slobs who smoked inside and had 2 gross hairy dogs that they didn't look after. My apartment management didn't bother to tell me and instead just tried to cover it up by repainting everything and replacing the carpet with vinyl wood, but essentially sealing in the smoke smell and dog hair all over the baseboards.
Right after I moved in, a new management group took over. I complained to them about these issues, and they said all they could do would be to move me to another unit after my lease is up in August/cancel the transfer fee or just run an ozone machine for 18 hours while I stay at a hotel to try to get rid of the smell. They said they can't do anything about repainting or fixing the baseboards.
The issue is, I have a senior dog who got really sick from the stress of moving, and I'd hate to put her through that again. I also can't stand the thought of moving again so soon. On the other hand, my clothes constantly smell like smoke no matter what I do and the dog hair all over the baseboards grosses me out. If I stayed here, I could try to repaint everything myself, but it'd be expensive as hell. I wish I could move somewhere else that's cheaper, but this place was the cheapest I could find that would allow pets.
I don't know what to do, and I really regret moving here in the first place.
No. 59077
>>44951I cheated on a couple assignments using an online platform for this class, this is a first offense and it's at a community college. How severe do you think the consequences will be?
I knew I should not have done it but I did and it is what it is, I'm most likely gonna receive an F but the academic dishonesty policy isn't really clear about whether I might have a mark on my record. I called the student offices and record keeping part of my school and didn't receive a clear answer, Anyone can tell me what exactly to expect?
No. 59092
File: 1493252578680.jpg (15.02 KB, 320x320, 45845.jpg)
I need a pep talk or advice.
I started a new job last month and have been trying really hard to be responsible about it since it's my first job. I don't know why, but I have a deep fear of my managers thinking I'm lazy or something, so I work hard and kiss ass all the time.
I suddenly got really sick a week ago and have called in sick twice, missing 4 days of work on short notice. I have doctors notes, so my managers don't think I'm faking it, but I still feel really guilty about not just trying to work through my illness.
I don't have a nice desk job or anything; I'm a hotel housekeeper, so I knew there was no way I'd be able to bust my ass all day cleaning when I could barely get out of bed. Still, I keep second guessing myself and cutting myself down a lot about the whole situation.
Now I'm scared to go back to work, thinking my coworkers probably hate me since they're the ones who had to pick up my slack on short notice. I was thinking of bringing some candy or snacks to work as a good will gesture (some of my coworkers do that sometimes), but I don't know if that'd be weird or not since I'm new and stuff.
No. 59221
File: 1493362659200.png (130.03 KB, 280x430, 4010355014108-777720_org.png)
Has anyone ever used Interdental brushes? Are they as good as dental floss? At least they seem to be easier to use so I thought I'd get some
No. 59385
File: 1493590469985.jpg (35.99 KB, 718x625, 0eda29dde3501a3d36ee5bbd941739…)
>>59221Those don't really do the same thing as floss. Floss is meant to clean your gums. Get some of these bad boys.
No. 59462
File: 1493687432936.jpg (61.69 KB, 957x797, 1486273547161.jpg)
>>44975Black hispanic, or white, hispanic? If tan, lie and say black you'll get in even easier.
No. 59485
>>59473On the opposite of the spectrum, my boyfriend likes dark girls and is always pressuring me to tan. As a person I love him and our souls are highly compatible but I feel like shit all the time for not being his ideal or anywhere near it.
There are tons of guys who would appreciate me and find me attractive but no, I'm forever insecure because I'm in love with somebody who I know inside I will never be the end all be all to simply because of my skin color.
No. 59488
>>59473>>59485Honestly, I'll never understand why guys date girls who aren't their type, and
tell them they aren't their type.
I experienced the same thing as you 2 anons. People kept insisting that I date my best friend (because he is a straight male and "you should marry your best friend"). I mentioned this to him, and we decided to try dating. TERRIBLE IDEA! He wasn't my type, and I wasn't his type. He preferred tall naturally light blondes with fake tits. I'm petite with naturally light brown/dark blonde hair (which I highlight to medium blonde) and natural tits, although my hair at the time was naturally dark brown because of my hair products. I prefer older rich men (we are the same age and he is middle class). I know it annoyed him that I cared so much about money and materialism, and I let him know that it bothered me that I wasn't his type. He was willing to work through it, but I couldn't and dumped him lol. We are still best friends, but after that experience I'd never date someone who told me I wasn't his type (saying you prefer when someone wears certain clothes or does their hair a certain way is one thing, but saying that you prefer another race, height, or body type is like telling the person you are with that they'll never be good enough). It took me a few months to get over my friends comments on my appearance vs his ideal, but now we can joke around about him landing a tall blonde and me a rich, older man haha. He's an awesome person, but it's not worth settling for chemistry imo.
All I can recommend is to get out and find someone who isn't "settling" for you, and you for their shitty treatment (wasting your time by using you as a settling tool).
No. 59490
>>59488Apologies in advance and I hope you don't mind me venting, I've never really talked to this about anyone…
My S/O is an older man and while a lot of girls my age don't find him attractive (hello: bald spot) I'm very attracted to him and we have a lot of chemistry. I KNOW he's attracted to me and to any spectator and all of his friends, he hit the lottery with me because he isn't exactly the pick of the litter and he isn't wealthy. From any perspective I'm out of his league, but we click that way that's hard to come by.
He doesn't express his preference for darker women to me outwardly but everybody in his general circle knows, so I know. They would make jokes about how my skin color didn't mesh with his taste in the beginning stages, but quickly went oddly quiet, presumably from him threatening them lol. And I know it's true. You can just pick up on things instinctively over time. He also makes so many passive aggressive "casual" comments about how I'd look better if I were darker. "Forgetting" my sunscreen. "Accidentally" grabbing bronzing lotion instead of the normal kind I asked for. I'm not going to sacrifice my skins integrity just to please him, and I feel like I shouldn't have to…
The whole thing makes me really insecure. I'm actually terrified of bringing the topic up to him. He's old enough to have refined his ability to lie casually and I feel like he'd try to brush it off or craft it in such a way to make me look "crazy," maybe. You know, fake scoff and try to make me feel guilty for bringing it up lol.
I don't think I could break up with him. He's my best friend–very intimately. My person or what have you. But I don't really…know what to do.
No. 59493
>>59490>"hes my best friend and soulmate">"I'm afraid to talk to him about my insecurities">"I think he might lie to me or spin it like I'm crazy"Do you anons hear yourselves type at all? Seriously. It seems like every anon here having boyfriend troubles is always being walked all over or manipulated in some way. Stand up for yourself. If someone tries to say you're crazy for doing so, then why are you with them? They don't respect you.
Just the fact that you think he might do something like that tells me you're not really best friends like you think.
No. 59508
>>44951This is going to be a long post.
I dropped out of college two years ago because of depression, anxiety, and ADD. I have gotten a little better with my depression once I started taking wellbutrin this year, but I am still scared shitless to go back to school or even get any job. When I'm in school or have some shitty job I feel like I want to die, I am way too over-stimulated and my anxiety goes through the roof and I just disassociate the whole time. My ADHD infuriates my employers and I always get fired or let go. It also made trying to learn in college a losing battle. Right now I just resell clothes on ebay which just barely gets me by, while my bf pays for my food and utilities. I'm going to try to get an adderall prescription to see if that will make me better. For a long time I was scared to try to get it, and when I tried to get it my doctor would not prescribe it to me because of my anxiety. I have an appointment coming up and I'm really going to push it this time.
I am thinking of becoming a cam girl. I really admire some camgirls but the stigma makes me afraid and sad. I know my parents would be disappointed. I don't think there is anything wrong with camming and it seems like a good fit for someone with issues like me. The most I would do is nudity, which would be all I’m comfortable with. Almost every job I ever had felt degrading to me anyway, when I’m expected to bust my ass for minimum wage. For the past two years I've done jack shit but stay at home and rot in my depression and occasionally leave the house to ship stuff for ebay. The idea of being a cam girl may make me feel sad and afraid but so does the idea of being at any other job. I don't do well with driving and I prefer to be at home and control my own environment. I don't meet the requirements for most jobs available, which is often that you have to stay on your feet for eight hours straight. Since I have low blood pressure it makes the blood rush out of my brain, leaving me confused, dizzy, and nauseous while on the job. Once people see me like that is usually when I get fired.
I can be very intelligent and hardworking on the rare occasion that I can concentrate. But I can’t imagine being alert and motivated enough to succeed in a normal job. And I’m aware that to be successful as a camgirl, you have to be highly motivated. I don’t think it will be easy money but I am interested in trying it. What if it’s my thing? I’m such a shut in, and no one ever knows what’s going on with me, so why not? God, writing this is so hard I hope I am making sense. I tend to stray off topic so easily. My ADHD is a nightmare.
What I want more than anything is financial freedom by being my own boss and making my own rules. I just want to travel the world and buy my own house, that’s it. Ebay is a struggle and I’m beginning to resent it.
Sorry I’ve never written this much Anyway if adderall doesn’t improve my life, should I jump in and be a cam girl? Or will it totally ruin my future and I’m making a huge mistake? I’m having a huge existential crisis. I would hate myself whether I do this or not. I also already feel a great deal of shame for no reason, for my whole life. I notice that a lot of other cam girls have mental illness but camming worked out for them. I don’t know.
No. 59530
>>59508Baby steps anon. If a full time course or job are too overwhelming or will lead to disaster, start with volunteering at say, a charity shop or animal shelter one day a week. Then add a second day, or make a second day dedicated to doing something else challenging but not overwhelming. It might be Mondays volunteer, Tuesdays catch a bus to somewhere and eat lunch at a cafe. Make time for self care every day. Not necessarily shit like "take a bubble bath and watch a Disney movie uwu" but making sure you've eaten, had your meds, done the dishes, spoken to someone that day etc.
The easiest way to go about it is little steps building up to the big goal. You can't build a house without the foundations and the same goes for establishing a normal life again after getting through a mental health episode. Build yourself up to a five day week without pushing yourself so hard you start fraying at the edges.
No. 59555
>>59530OT but your post scared me because it uses the exact same advice and vocabulary that I use when giving advice. I genuinely worried that I had written that post and disassociated or something, it gave me goosebumps.
Anyway, wholeheartedly seconded
No. 59775
>>59744Where are you reading? The rule is, if you can't focus where you're reading, go to a place with the opposite qualities. Also, make sure you bring what you need for your study session with you – be it snacks, food, water, etc. so you don't get up and go elsewhere out of distraction.
For the material itself, try to set goals. If you have to read a paper, imagine that about half-way in you'll reward yourself. If you have multiple things to do, be sure to switch between them so you don't feel like you're killing yourself to just get to the end of something.
I also take notes when I start to feel distracted. A note here or there really helps me try to put the studies together.
No. 59927
>>59844You should meditate. Even if it seems like bs just do it. Just close your eyes and empty your mind.
Not even joking it solves all my aggressions
No. 59950
File: 1494187739158.jpg (74.48 KB, 669x1019, IMG_20170507_154757.jpg)
I know i may get shit for asking this, but idc.
Any anons who understand witchcraft, Wicca, spells, etc? I've always been sceptical about those things, but I guess I am changing. I remember reading posts from anons who were into it and I'd like help.
I want to know any protection/karma/binding spells that actually have worked for you.
What items you used? How long did it take for you to notice it was working?
I have an enemy who's been shitty to me, and i don't want to fuck this person's life, but I want to make sure they can't hurt me anymore. I'm fucking tired of being treated like shit and being unjustly fucked over. I just want this person to leave me alone.
I'd make a thread on witchcraft and pagan religions but idk if we have enough anons who would be interested and I think the thread could die pretty fast, unfortunately
No. 59952
>>59950>I want to know any protection/karma/binding spells that actually have worked for you. spoiler: none of them will actually work. the only illusion of them working is either coincidental timing or placebo effect.
not to say this isn't a bad thing: if you really genuinely believe that crystals will put you in a better mood and you find it working, go for it gf. just don't think the crystals actually have any damn magical properties.
No. 59963
>>59958This person is an ex. We don't see each other anymore and we have no contact. It's been, believe it or not, almost 1 year and 6 months since we broke up and he still goes after me, even though he's had several relationships and was scummy during our time together.
we don't have any real friends in common anymore but he talks shit about me saying I was the one who cheated on him with a friend when I didn't, etc. A couple of acquaintances have told me he badmouths me whenever possible.
I asked about karma because I didn't cheat on him as he claims I did, so I know I have nothing to fear.
Two days ago he started saying he hopes I die in childbirth. the fact he's hating on my future child is emotionally and mentally damaging me.
No. 59972
>>59963I'm sorry you've been having to deal with such an piece of shit! Abusive assholes never seem to let things go. I'm glad you don't see him anymore though.
I think either of these spells could work for you. The first one deals with protection from an abusive ex, and the second one deals with getting someone to stop thinking/talking about you (in b4 tumblr):
http://feather-set.tumblr.com/post/115904009349/feather-sets-protection-satchel-to-ward-offhttp://child-of-the-luna.tumblr.com/post/159768106898/black-out-vision-spell-a-simple-spell-to-stopI did the first one almost a year ago to deal with a stalker who was once very involved in my life, and I'd say it worked alright, as no incidents have arisen since. Sometimes people will tell me about their encounters with him though, which distresses me, but that's tolerable.
You don't have to say exactly what they wrote in the spell (I don't because speaking aloud makes me feel dumb), as long as you concentrate intently on what you want to happen – for him to leave you alone and stop talking about you. Being able to concentrate on this is the most important part, but don't worry, as setting up the candles and herbs helps a lot with getting into the mindset.
You can get the supplies locally from the grocery and from magic/new age stores. You can also get herbs and stones online for very cheap.
Overall, this is what worked for me. Whether or not you choose to follow through, I wish you all the best. Even if magic is not real, or is just a placebo, I find doing spells like this helps me stop worrying and let me carry on with my life.
No. 59978
>>59950Should have stayed skeptic. You aren't Harry Potter and I'm pretty sure you know damn well how silly it is for grown people to be pretending they can do spells and break the known laws of physics with some dirt, salt, and their own need to feel super special.
I get that it sucks having someone be a jerk, but it's insane to think some former highschool goth reject is gonna teach you secrets about the world that science doesn't know. There's not a single suggestion out there that their spooky little incantations do anything, because they don't.
Not one of those people playing Morgana dress ups can offer any proof of magic, and it's bizarre to try to force the fantasy as an adult.
No. 59990
>>59972>>59985>>59979Thank you so much anons <3 I'll look into those.
>>59978I get where you are coming from, but there's nothing to lose tbh. I don't plan on spending any money on this, and if it will make me feel better somehow, I'll definitely go for it. In the end, I suppose that is the whole point tbh.
No. 59996
File: 1494208307058.jpg (35.22 KB, 570x570, tumblr_nv3u3cD6Wb1tczq6bo1_128…)
Okay, this is honestly a dumb ass thing to ask advice for, so just know that I'm self aware of how stupid it is.
But is it normal for me to get upset over my boyfriends anime waifus? And if so, how do I deal with it?
For some details: We've been in a relationship for about a year and a half, and things have been going pretty well. Despite this, he seems to REALLY like anime girls. Like, there's a whole folder on his pc called "cute" thats just pictures of anime girls he has saved. We both like anime so it's not like that's the part that bothers me. He's not a disgusting weeaboo neckbeard or anything which is why it's kind of… out of character I guess?
I think the part that really bothers me is that he knows it makes me kind of uncomfortable. I'm extremely self conscious (I have body dysmorphic disorder :/) and he knows this, and I've talked to him about the whole anime girls thing before and he says its not a problem and I shouldn't be so upset about it. And I guess he's right. Logically, I know they're not real but it's like he seems to like them more than he does me. It's not like he has a folder full of pictures of me or anything. And for a brief period (like 2-3 months) he would constantly talk about how cute some anime girl is to me until I eventually had to tell him to fucking stop. It just sucks because it often feels like he's only with me out of obligation, and he doesn't find me attractive or appealing to be around at all.
So what should I do about it? I've already talked to him about it and it doesn't seem to have swayed him at all. And I don't want to break up with him about it, because it's not only stupid but also, aside from this, I really like him a lot. Thanks in advance for replying.
No. 59997
>>59996Maybe some weebs will disagree with me and tell you to stop caring about it. And you probably won't like to read this, but the truth is that you should rethink a relationship with a guy who's obssessed about animu girls.
That just isn't normal in the real world. It's not healthy and may indicate other problems this guy has. And if he's in his 20's he may never change.
You said that he:
1. seems to like them more than he likes you
2. you feel like he doesn't think you are attractive
3. you feel like he's only with you out of obligation
Why are you with him? Because you ~love~ him? I know it's harder said than done, but don't stay with a guy who doesn't seem to love you, anon. In the end, this relationship may just make things emotionally harder for you, who already deals with self consciousness.
If he loves Japanese cartoon characters more than he loves you, then there's nothing that can be done to solve this because you obviously can't turn into one.
Try to talk to him again and explain how you feel, and if things don't look very positive, please consider dumping him.
No. 60000
>>59996>>59997I mostly agree with you. I think it's possible to have waifus or whatever and be healthy about it, but when they're more important or as important as your actual fucking gf that's not cool. It's immature to value fictional characters the same as your partner and to not have a separation.
source: am a vidya nerd who adores some characters and like to read fic as a form of escapism from my life, but don't have fucking folders of waifus and do have one of my bf
No. 60001
>>59996this guy sounds like a loser honestly, i agree with
>>59997being that obsessed with fictional characters DOES make him a gross weeb, even if he doesnt look like one
No. 60005
>>59997>>60000>>60001Maybe you guys are right, idk.
I realize now that my original post was written while I was upset, and I think I made him sound like a really shitty guy on accident.
Would it change the situation if I said that I've talked to him about this before a couple of times, both about the anime shit and my extreme self esteem issues, and he made it extremely clear that he does care about me? I'd post screenshots but that's kind of creepy so I'm not gonna do that. It's a weirdly complicated situation. I think I may have a sort of confirmation bias when it comes to things like this.
So on one hand, we had a heart to heart and he told me that he does genuinely care about me a lot and that the issue is that I deny any sort of nice things he has to say about me (which is true :/) and the anime girls thing shouldn't be an issue because it's not like he values them over me. And I want to believe him, seriously. I'm aware my weird self esteem issues are a huge problem and it's something I'm trying to fix.
But on the other hand, like I said, he still does have a big folder of cute anime girls and yet no pictures of me, and it sometimes does feel like he likes them more than he likes me at times.
All that being said, I did read everything you guys have said and I get where you're coming from. I think it's something to consider, even if I really, really don't want to end this relationship. To put things into perspective, I guess, I'd say its about 10% shitty times and 90% good times with him. It's just that the shitty things are kind of overbearing for me. Thank you all for replying.
No. 60008
>>60005You don't need to keep apologizing for him. You said it yourself he has no pictures of you. That's fucking hurtful and insulting. The fact that you've tried to address it and it's still this way means it likely won't change until he does. Don't wait for that.
I was in the same position as you and I stayed with him for 2 years. Except he was obsessed with bimbos. It was honestly the biggest waste of my time. You have self esteem issues you need to be alone and fix those for yourself.
I think you're lying about the 90% 10% thing. It's gotta be more than that or it will eventually become more than that. I get it you like the dude but why not achieve something better instead of wasting all this mental effort. Being alone sucks but you can be productive about it.
Sorry, don't mean to be a bitch
No. 60029
>>60009If you can't afford driving lessons you probably can't afford to drive. How are you going to pay insurance and gas and shit like that? If your answer is to borrow someone else's car then you should borrow someone else's money for proper driving lessons.
Jesus. And you didn't describe a phobia. You just suck at driving and don't want to get taught from a legit company.
No. 60036
>>60029actually my Dad went ahead and got me a car and I've had it for a year (he uses it rn since I don't)
I'm just so nervous about getting behind the wheel again that I've been avoiding it
My dad would keep paying for gas/insur if I started driving it again – however he wouldn't understand paying for driving lessons since I've already taken it in hs and the reason i didn't succeed was b/c i didn't get enough home practice
I know the basic mechanics of everything, I'm just so much of a ditz I always manage to screw someting up
> be me who's 4' 11" and can't reach pedals w/ being against wheel> be me having a notoriously slow reaction timeI honestly wouldn't even use it that much (since the bus is cheaper) if I did learn it'd just be nice to be able to and get to places the public bus can't get me to on time
No. 60037
>>60031Yeah, I'm not scared to the point of hyperventilating
I just have occasional worst-case-scenario nightmares/daydreams and flashbacks of when I tried parking but forgot how to brake and slowly at a snail's pace destroyed the front bumper
Im american but i live one of the islands in Hawaii, theres only one driving practice place and it's not even year-round and theres just too many ppl and one instructor
I have a 21 yr old sister w/ a drivers license who agreed to practice w. me this summer but I'm just utterly terrified of once again being a complete do-do brain and wrecking the car
No. 60156
I have a 15 years old long-distance friend and i'm 18, but i feel like i falled for her.
She came out of two consecutive abusive relationships and i think i'm a balanced person, i have helped her all this time and now she wants to date me- she wanted it for some time ago, but now moreso. I really want to too, but even thought is legal in both our countries i don't know if it should be considered morally wrong.
She is 15 and i'll be 18 in a few weeks, do you think is wrong?
I have no dating experience and she had only two, very shitty, crazy people. I want to show her real love, even thought i don't know what that is.
Even thought is just three years of age gap i've read online that i shouldn't, but all dating advice i found was for a straight couple, saying is wrong because boys my age just want to get laid. But i'm a girl and also asexual, i won't be doing anything, so that's not the problem.
What should i do? Do you think it is morally wrong for me to love her and want to date her?
No. 60170
>>60156both of you are very young and while "going out" with her would be a stupid idea, both of you are at the age where you do stupid things even if just to get them out of your system. so yeah, go for it, just don't complicate it too much by overthinking your sexuality and dating experience and the long distance thing. also always be aware on a lower level that you're not doing something too logical.
as for the age gap, both of you are teenagers ffs, what moral hangups are you talking about?
No. 60172
>>60170I agree is not logical, it is kinda stupid. Thanks for the advice.
Well, i'm a legal adult, wouldn't be weird to date a highschool student if i graduated? It was months ago, but still can't help feeling like a creep
No. 60200
>>60199Yeah, i've probably been to much time in tumblr. Here people say you should kys for shipping a 16 and a 18 y/o ficcional character.
Thank you, i'll think about it.
No. 60220
>>60200i actually like tumblr for being the corner on the internet for young people with more "progressive" leanings. i think being a more thoughtful and tolerant species in general will do us good. but most tumblr users who have a "political stance" and "opinions" about societal issues are actually super disconnected kids who don't have a lot of real life experience or any idea about how issues work in real life. they're not there because they got political information from academic, factual, neutral sources, discussed them with other people to work out the kinks and wanted to join a community of likeminded people. they became political because they joined tumblr and got fed a lot of wittily-worded or emotionally compelling rhetoric about hot-button issues without knowing the underlying causes and politics around them. they formed ideas without much information, mainly based on emotions. that's why they take everything so personally, that's why they're so sensitive and inflammatory about every little shit and that's why they have a bad reputation.
tl;dr tumblr is nice and fun but don't take the users too seriously because they're clueless alarmists.
No. 60298
File: 1494502175827.jpg (25.28 KB, 500x471, tumblr_mhn7xtBmC01rd6mnlo1_500…)
How do I find a cute guy to get into relationship with?
I'm 25 and I've been alone my whole life due to my parents isolating me and
a history of mental illness.
I live in a big city and
ONS are easy to get, but I want someone to hold me as I fall asleep every night.
I'm so scared that I will never find my ~soulmate~.
No. 60299
>>60298Have you ever fallen in love with a guy? Ever had a crush that you felt like you couldn't lose etc? I think the first step to getting in a relationship is acknowledging and respecting how you emotionally relate to others. How is someone supposed to commit to loving you if you don't know how to offer the same thing?
Forget being lonely. The important part is knowing where you stand in life. Knowing yourself. That way you'll attract others who are on a smiliar life path, common interests etc.
Better to wait for someone that makes you feel really comfortable and you naturally want to be with them. Don't waste your time dating randoms, it'll only cause heartaches, headaches and at worse, trauma.
(Coming from someone who has a history of mental illness as well. Neurotypicals might like their ONS or blind date culture but it's not a safe way to get into relationships).
No. 60301
>>60299Thank you.
I feel that I know pretty well what I can give to others relationshipwise and what I expect.
I agree that I shouldn't date randoms, but I still have to meet the person who will make me comfortable, right…? Even if I were to go from friends to lovers, I would have to meet the friend somehow. It won't happen if I keep going from work to home and vice versa.
Regarding ONS and blind dates… Yesterday I met a really cool guy from Tinder. Felt like we hit it of, but it turned out that he only wanted a ONS. I wasn't down, so we ended up falling asleep while he spooned me. It made me feel so sad and empty when he dropped me off at the bus stop, saying 'it was a pleasure to meet you' in a tone that made me realize that we will never meet again.
I'm sorry for ranting, I really appreciate your advice and the fact that you want to talk with a fellow anon's issues.
No. 60352
>>60340You need to accept setbacks as a normal part of life. You will be losing good things, things you care about, all throughout your life, many many many times. But you will be gaining new things, and achieving new things too, which is not possible if you don't leave old things behind.
Learn to let it go. Don't hold on tight to the things that slipped away, stop grasping for them, let them go. Nothing is ever yours forever, not even your life. And that's good, because change is more often than not good.
You learned something big from this, you now know your strengths, and what you want. That's what's important. You grew. You next success with therefore be even bigger. Then you will fail again at some point. Then succeed again. And so on. Enjoy the ride.
Don't anchor yourself, this job was a short stop at a haven, but that haven is not your home. Your ship is. Sail on.
No. 60423
>>60420Hi anon, I completely understand your fear! My mom is scared of driving and cars, so I grew up scared of them too. I took driving lessons in high school but my fear made me a terrible student, and I never took a live driving test after receiving my permit…..until around 1.5 years ago when I realized I had to choose between public transit (which I hate in the U.S. due to all the crazy people and drug addicts) or learning to drive. For me, having a good driving instructor is what helped most. The first driving instructor I had in h.s. wasn't good, but the second one (my stepdad, so not someone hired) was fantastic. It's really important to have someone encouraging and patient, because anyone who can
trigger you into panic will harm your driving. I started by driving around a parking lot. Then from one place to the other. After a few months I tried driving on highways/freeways. I still don't enjoy driving highways or freeways because I know that one crash can kill you, and that makes me very uncomfortable. But, driving around town is extremely relaxing now that I'm more experienced, and while I still would prefer better public transportation in the United States and less crazy people, I generally enjoy driving now. All I can say is to find a good instructor and practice, practice, practice. Take your time working up to more advance driving techniques. I used to feel safer being driven by other people, but now feel safer driving myself so keep in mind at least when you are driving you can save yourself. Good luck!
No. 60519
File: 1494775370306.jpg (153.58 KB, 1280x960, Cute-feet-tattoo-yin-yan.jpg)
I hate asking this because it's embarrassing and because I'm not likely to get an answer, but how do I get cute feet?
I know hot to treat calluses, they never go away but they're softer than they were.
My biggest problem are my nails. :/ The nail beds are really small so it's difficult to push any of the skin back or shape them. I also might have some fungus or some shit since the nails have some sort of stripes on them.
What do anons? :/
No. 60536
File: 1494788966309.jpg (104.87 KB, 550x1714, sntn2120_vtecutol.jpg)
>>60519Use a cuticle oil every night. This will soften the cuticles, making them easier to push back.
No. 60542
>>60430I met my boyfriend one year ago on Tinder. Both of us happened to have just been dumped and were looking for people to talk to (had 'looking for friends' in my bio), so it worked out perfectly.
A lot of guys on there are just looking for hookups, but I guess you just have to look for someone who is willing and interested in speaking to you for a couple of weeks continuously and isn't constantly nagging you to meet up. Every guy I spoke to before I chatted up my now-bf was flirting from the get-go and wanting to meet up immediately, which was a red flag for me.
No. 60546
Right now im in LDR with a guy for almost a year. He lives in china and I'm on the opposite sides of the world so our hours are totally flip floppy. Thankfully he works at night so we are "awake" at the same hours so we can chat and spend time together usually.
His job is really demanding, and he has been struggling with money as he is paying off some debt. before he was not paying that much off his debt but around a month ago he told me once he pays it off he would move in with me. Because of this he has been depositing almost all of his paycheck each month into paying his debt.
I've noticed him being more and more stressed out. He has been eating mostly super shitty cheap foods to try to pay as much as he can, although I didn't encourage this, this is how he is doing it to pay off asap.
More and more he is getting snappy with me. We schedule a time to talk but sometimes something comes up and i tell him ill be an hour late or something and he just snaps angrily that I'm wasting his time and making him upset. Before he was more understanding and sometimes he is late too but I'm never snappy.
Last time this happened we got into a huge fight. He told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, that he didn't need love in his life, he didn't want me at all. So I was really sad but I accepted it. I told him ok, I understand we can always be friends.
The day after he texted me saying that he regretted everything he said, that he loved me so much but he was so stressed and tired from eating shit food, getting little to no sleep, and his hard job. The night before he went on a rage and deleted me from everything, facebook, twitter, instagram etc and told me he deleted all my pictures from his computer (he had a bunch of selfies of me). He kept telling me how sad he was he deleted all those things and he wanted to stay together. I told him it was ok, and I loved him too.
I was late again this week and he flipped out again and said that "for now we should only talk one day a week". It made me so insecure, like he doesn't love me or whatever. I flipped out on him telling him how upset I was but he didn't really want to reply. He seems to be taking time to just spend it on his hobbies which are painting (saw him paint on his twitter).
Should I be more chill? do you guys think it's because he is so stressed he needs alone time? I've never been with a guy who wanted alone time so i don't know. I'm pretty confused and he is chinese american so I was thinking the "alone" time could also be a cultural thing. Thank you
No. 60564
File: 1494826353806.jpg (197.71 KB, 900x599, 5614803196_743350d494_b.jpg)
This probably sounds a bit ridiculous but how in the world do you make friends? It feels like I've simply forgotten how to connect with people who I'm not in a relationship with.
Any time I try to talk with people, I seize up and have no clue how to continue the conversation without feeling like I'm about to make a damn fool of myself or turn a normal situation very awkward. I have this fear that anybody I talk to is making the judgement that I'm some snooty bitch due to me being a person of VERY few words, but I don't want them to know that I'm scared out of my mind. If people then ask about me, I find myself being able to relate to something, or even me commenting on me liking something that somebody else likes I then become afraid that I'm being self-centered and that I don't care about learning about the other person.
I've been the silent loner with no friends (close or even distant aquantances) for almost 10 years now. I miss being able to talk somebody for hours about stupid stuff that makes us laugh, teaching one another new things, being there for one another. I'm sick and tired of living like this.
No. 60570
>>60430I'm still single but never had a guy only interested in hookups. With that said, I met all my exes irl though, usually school/work, and group activities. I think online is probably hit or miss.
>>60546Hey anon, I never dated a Chinese American, but dated many Chinese guys irl. In my case, they tend to be extremely clingy, but I'm white American and have a difficult time with ldr's. I'm going to guess if you met irl first, he might be having a difficult time continuing long-distance. Otherwise, he is probably just stressed like he said and might be rethinking the relationship. Either way, I doubt it's your fault. Although it's odd that he is Chinese American living in China and is struggling for money. Good food in China is really cheap, so I can't imagine he'd save much money eating junk tbh. Probably a long shot but not knowing your situation, could it be that he's a catfish? Good luck anon!
>>60564I can relate to this anon…A-are you me? I have one best friend (male) who I talk to regularly and can joke around with, but basically zero close female friends. I always seem to have superficial relationships, and most of the people I speak to are ex-boyfriends who just want to get back together or brag to me. Since high school, I had some bad situations happen that caused me to close off. I used to be extremely popular and had lots of friends because I was the life of the party. Even though I can act sociable still, I know I don't come across as genuine and rather a snooty bitch like you said. When I try to act sociable, I feel like I come across as a bimbo now, because lack of fun communication irl has caused me to forget words a lot when speaking. Even online I feel like i come across as a stuck-up bitch. Granted, I am a bitch, otherwise I wouldn't enjoy gossip sites like lolcow.
But I'd like to be a fun
bitchI didn't used to be a person of very few words, but now am pretty much just that. I think part of it for me is I don't have much to talk about. My life just isn't exciting enough for me to feel like speaking about, and not having friends to see movies and shit means basically any conversation I have is about me, me, me or my best friend who is antisocial and lives in a different country. Likewise, besides typical female shit, my main hobby/interest is anime, but even when I moved to Japan, I made zero friends who like anime. In my opinion, I'd probably be able to open up better if I could talk about anime (I have no-one to talk to about it). When I try to be more sociable, I revert into acting superficial and snobby. I've even developed a terrible habit of vocal fry. I'm not sure what I'm scared of anymore, but I know I became this way to shield myself. I'm moving countries again, and hoping to channel a friendlier me, but would love any advice as well…;_;
No. 60584
>>60564This may sound a bit weird, but I suggest you start practicing socialization with small children, and move on to your age group later.
Kids are non-threatening and easy-going, you will be much more relaxed, won't fear them judging you, and everything will go smoother. When you start talking to your own age group, just keep the same mindset of fun and carefree interaction. Remember we're all just big kids deep down.
Kids can also be stubborn as fuck, so you'll also practice conflict resolution in a calm and reasonable, non-bitchy manner.
Pick up your nephew and take him/her to the zoo, babysit your neighbour's kids, nice stuff like that, you know.
No. 60587
File: 1494856049059.gif (998.33 KB, 500x281, Cute-K-ON-gif-k-on-35066355-50…)
>>60564Fuck, this sounds like me, i've been isolated so long that i barely remembered how to talk without thinking everything 1000000 times. It really sucks when you don't have anyone to talk about anything for hours, it's worse when you used to have it and remember how good it was.
Honestly, i am still a fuck up, but what is working for me is practicing online, be it games, imageboards or whatever.
If you are into games pick up a free mmo who has a good community (i personally like GW2) and just start playing, most likely than not people will help you or you'll need help to clear a dungeon or whatever, and you'll be forced into a situation where you need to talk to people. If it doesn't go well, you most likely don't need to see them again and you improved at least a little bit. Join a guild and just fuck around, since it's basically anonymous it won't matter if you "embarass" yourself.
Also, maybe try podcasts of friends and notice what they talk about, how they change conversations, what general topics they talk about to get a general idea of how people normally talk (helped me a lot watching streams and stuff, it gives you a great help in seeing how conversation flows normally and how not everyone is the same eventhough everyone is social, i.e quiet people that barely add anything but are still part of the group)
If you have a hobby, try a meetup.com (or any web from your area) with some people with the same hobby or volounteer somewhere, that way you will 100% have something to talk about with the other person and it will be easier that starting with 0.
Another thing is that you need to realize that it is not always your fault, sometimes the other person just doesn't wanna talk or is closed off, don't bother too much and find someone who makes you feel comfortable, no matter the age group, even children like
>>60584 suggested. (You can voulounteer at summer camp or something like that)
If all else fails, the FORD (Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams) technique is widely accepted as a great way to ease yourself into conversations.
Remember that you don't need to be an amazing conversationalist, you can be a great listener, which many people appreciate.
Don't overthink too much what you say, have a filter between brain and mouth, but when you catch yourself thinking "is this gonna make the other person cringe" just remember that most likely, if it does, the other person will have forgotten it in less than an hour. It's better to try it and fail it than never doing it and getting stuck.
I also practice conversations with my pet/mirror but it's probaly too weird for some people kek.
You can do it anon! I believe in you! We'll get out of the friendless pit!
TLDR; fake it till you make it
No. 60662
>>60430The best thing to do is pursue your own interests and your s.o. should pop up when you least expect it. Bit cringe, but I met my boyfriend at an anime convention. At the time I was NOT looking for a boyfriend, I was just chatting to people with similar interests and added him as a friend on fb. We kept talking online until he asked me out on a date and we're still together 6 years later :) Anyone I know with a successful relationship met their s.o. in a similar fashion.
I know that dating sites and Tinder are really satisfying and make it a lot faster to get dates but they're really not worth it. Men don't take them seriously; they use them to inflate their own egos and for hook-ups. All my friends who use them have had their hearts broken repeatedly by men who were stringing them on for a few months for sex but still obsessively using Tinder, looking for someone "better". Not only that but people tend to make themselves look more impressive than they really are on their profiles, hence why a lot of first dates go really badly (because you realise it's all bullshit). It's much easier to tell who someone really is when you meet them the first time in person.
Take my advice; find out what you're passionate in and forget bf-hunting for a while. Take some classes in whatever interests you (drama, painting, Latin dance, surfing, hiking, figure skating…whatever). Talk to as many people as you can and make amazing friends. Once you have been going for a few weeks and have a nice circle of friends, ask some guy you fancy out for something casual like coffee. Once you get him alone, you'll have plenty to talk about since you share a common hobby and have probably spent a few hours in the class getting to know his personality. It's much easier to talk to someone when you consider them a friend first and aren't under that "first date" pressure. If he goes to the effort of meeting you outside of class, he's interested in you.
There are probably lots of other kinds of meet-ups in your area that you've no idea about. Things like yoga in the park, vegetarian/vegan nights out, LAN parties, people who meet up to surf/swim in the sea/hike, language exchanges, history tours, people who meet up to show off cars/bikes, photography, musicians looking for people to jam with, people who play chess together…you just need to google events in your area. I'd specifically recommend anything to do with food/wine because they're so much fun and foodies tend to organise way more meet-ups lol.
Trust me, none of the decent guys are using dating sites.
No. 60741
>>60696Get your priorities in order.
Your problem is not people watching, it's being NEET.
Get that sorted out and the rest will fall in place.
No. 60866
File: 1495084199387.png (109.2 KB, 500x574, tumblr_o5hyxc7zCw1u1x335o1_500…)
Hey, another dumb anon seeking advice
So I've been seeing a guy in a long distance relationship for the past -5- years
I've brought up my concerns because it's an extreme distance and in our time of knowing one another we've met a total of five or six times for extended periods (2/3 months) and I get extremely lonely but I have been patient since I was primarily career driven up until recently
We talk every day and he's like my best friend. It just sucks because I've become emotionally dependent on him but I've grown tired of waiting and I'm starting to get to the point where I'm missing out on dating and whatnot just to keep the hope alive for this "maybe" feeling with no physical contact at all
He's finishing school now and plans to live where I am currently when he's done, which is next year; and he's alluded to marriage and whatnot (no, really)
So I'm wondering if anyone's every been in a weird ldr like I am currently, or how best to just explain to him that even though we're the right people seemingly, it's might not really the right place or time if we can't make this work
I hope that makes sense
No. 60895
>>60866No, it doesn't make any sense, because it's badly sugarcoated insincere bullshit.
Be honest and fair. Give him that much respect before you part.
Just say "I have something to tell you. I want to start seeing other people and dating around. I'm telling you straight away so that you can do it too, I don't want to be stringing you along".
Then fucking shut up and wait for his reply. Don't explain yourself or excuse yourself or any of that shit. If he asks why, simply say "it's just what I want to do in life now" and end it there, again, with no further explaining nor excusing a la "it's not u it's me", "it's not the right time/place/parallel dimension" bullcrap.
And for the love of God, don't mention him being your "best friend", and don't mention friendship at all.
No. 60897
>>60895Also, trust me, it's easier to do then it sounds, you'll see. And it's the morally right thing.
And it's best for both - for you to own up to your decisions, for him to be treated with respect.
No. 60911
>>60895>>60897Ouch I guess I needed to hear it harshly, even though I don't think I'm being insincere when I say that I enjoy every aspect of the relationship except the distance
Yeah, thanks for the advice - I do respect him enough that I've mentioned my displeasure with it before, I won't use the "parallel dimension" shit, thanks.
No. 60960
File: 1495172136563.png (388.69 KB, 408x455, 0923ca5d-5654-4209-a4c3-c71f38…)
What's an easy way to lose my virginity without having to go to the bar?
I'm 20 and have been insecure about being a virgin recently. I think it's starting to get a little weird… and it doesn't help that last year some guy was talking shit about female virgins saying that they don't know what they're doing in bed and they're not good to be with and he's right, I am fucking clueless and curious.
I've always thought one night stands were disgusting, am very embarrassed about sex (not sure why I'm so prude), and was planning on saving my virginity for "the right guy". However, as time goes on, I feel left out like I'm missing out on being a normal girl and that I'll never find a guy because I'm a lonely loser. It's a combination of realizing that I am alone with no experience, that time is fleeting, and I'm going to end up being that autistic female wizard before I know it. I don't want to turn out like that. Maybe I want to be mischievous for a night.
I read about some woman who gave her address and what hours she would be home alone to a random guy on Tinder so he could walk in and "rape her". I was thinking about doing it this way but I really don't want to slap my pictures up on a dating site for privacy reasons. Not to mention this method sounds sketchy and my brain is sounding off giant red alerts.
I have no idea where these sudden feelings came from. So here I am contemplating some dodgy shit. What the hell is wrong with me?
Also, tips on NOT getting pregnant? Will just birth control do the trick? I swear if I get pregnant I will fucking die.
No. 60962
>>60960>I was thinking about doing it this way but I really don't want to slap my pictures up on a dating site for privacy reasons> tips on NOT getting pregnantAre you…okay?
You're only 20. Sex isn't the be all end all. You have a looot of time to get laid. And you're not a prude for thinking one night stands are gross. You aren't weird or a freak because you didn't have sex and are 20 and no, your time isn't running out.
Don't fuck yourself over just because of sex. There are probably way more important thing in your life you have to worry about right now. And the whole post made you sound like you aren't really ready yet.
Anyway, you can try to find a friends with benefits and see how it goes. As for the pregnancy part, yea, BC will do but DO use condoms to be extra sure and not to get a std.
No. 60985
>>60982Not quoted anon, but it did "come naturally" to me at the age of 15. But then again I wasn't sex shy or anything and I was horny as fuck before I even was a teenager so maybe I'm not really a good example.
I'd just say, don't save it for "the right guy". You probably won't stay with him for the rest of your life, and if you grow to hate him it'll taunt your memories forever.
No. 60986
>>60982Step one: Go somewhere you can meet friends with similar interests as you
Step two: make friends with a guy
Step three: If you like eachother, date
Step four: If you're dating, the fact you're a virgin will come up and if you're dating, he shouldn't be a guy just looking for sex and will be patient with you as you learn
Step five: Have sex when you feel ready
You're overthinking it. Sex in your teens is more complicated because teenagers really shouldn't be having sex (Most are not emotionally mature enough to handle it overall, like my friend who got pregnant three times before she was out of high school, some are exceptions but not all).
I lost mine at 19. I regretted it because i was pressured into it. Do it when it comes naturally because you can't change it back.
And dude, paying someone to fake-rape you is kind of fucked up unless it's a fetish, and you should really only do it with someone you know and trust since doing it with a stranger is risky on it's own, let alone adding a fake-rape element into it. If he ties you up and decides he wants his first kill victim (as many murderers first attempts are instances they're positive they can get away with i.e. opportunists) then there you go, you're dead.
Maybe the latter is extreme but honestly it SHOULD be in the back of your mind as a possibility, however slim of a possibility, so you have some kind of backup plan if you do decide to go along with something stupid like that.
Also your friend who talked about virgins is a jackass and probably sucks in bed himself, i'd stop talking to him or at least stop taking any stock in what he says because he sounds like a retarded 16 year old boy.
No. 60987
>>60960Heyo anon. Same age as you. I lost my virginity at 17, but 20 is still young. I know people who lost theirs recently at 19 and some who haven't. Some people regret not losing it to a person they love, some wish they didn't treat it so seriously and lost it earlier. The boyfriend I gave it to was my first and I don't regret it, even if I went through a lot after our break up.
>>60986 gives a lot of good advice. Personally I lean on the side of waiting until it's someone you care about, but even then they don't have to be the ONE, the person you end up spending your life with.
Also that guy sounds like he doesn't know what he's talking about lol. Being good at sex as a girl is pretty easy, you just have to be enthusiastic and active, and it's much easier to be into it if it's someone you're attracted to physically and personality-wise (note I didn't say emotionally. Casual sex can be fun, but it's not for me). Some girls suck ass even after lots of sex because they just lay there and make the guy feel unwanted. Just react, communicate, and have fun and you'll be a good time even if you're a virgin.
Have you been in a relationship anon? Just curious.
No. 60989
>>60987I wanna follow up on this a little to emphasize that being good at sex as a girl is REALLY easy. Blowjobs/handjobs take practice (getting rhythm and getting used to your arm/jaw hurting and stuff lol. I sometimes lose rhythm and drop the dick by accident in a handjob but it's easily fixable) but straight on sex, unless you're going for some crazy porno type shit (Tip: don't) is pretty much a case of lying there.
As long as you're into it (it's okay to moan a little extra, i find it makes the sex better if i exaggerate my moans a little bit even. it's kinda a primal thing?) and don't just lay there like a corpse, the only way the sex will be bad is if the guy sucks or expects the girl to do all the work.
Depending on the position (straight missionary is best for the first time imo) you can move your hips into his rhythm a little but my husband for instance always clamps down on my hips and holds me in place when I do. Idk if it's just sexy to him to take control (i think it is myself) or if i suck at keeping the rhythm (possible) but i just relax and let him do it when he does that.
That's basically it.
Also: Ignore porn. Unless you're watching some good "female friendly" or some good amateurs, it's mostly all super glammed up fake shit (unnatural positions that don't feel good, they just LOOK good for instance).
But seriously don't stress it. If i had the chance to do it over i would've lost my virginity at 23 to my current husband because he's the only one that didn't make me feel weird about my low as fuck sex drive.
There's no reason to rush but you don't need to wait for "the one" unless it's what you want.
But unless your want to wait until marriage is religious based I suggest against it. If i had really done that, and ended up with my first boyfriend, i would've been a very miserable wife because he couldn't use his dick to save his life.
OH most important thing: Don't wory if you don't cum. It's the journey that matters, not the finish, and if you worry about finishing it might make it impossible to.
No. 61002
>>60960>>60989dont listen to her, its NOT a case of lying there and taking it. thats called 'starfishing'. you should push back in time with things, youll know what i mean when it comes to it
do be free about making noise
No. 61024
>>61003Those approaches look exactly like flirting, and if it's too close to call, they will always assume flirting just in case.
I just lie and "reveal" that I'm gay. Much easier than playing the mindgames. It seems like guys are really terrified of missing one of their few opportunities, and this is the result.
No. 61025
>>60985>>60986>>60987>>60989>>61002Thank you all so much for the advice. I'm feeling better about it now and will wait longer until I find someone I like.
To the anon who asked if I've been in a relationship, I haven't. I live a very secluded life in a rural area due to circumstances that were out of my control and decisions my family made. It's been like this since I was 7 so that's why I'm worried about my future. I wouldn't be surprised if nothing changed because this is the only kind of life I've lived.
The only place I talk to people is when I'm working and even then it's superficial bullshit so I don't cause trouble.
No. 61027
>>61021>>61024>>61003Can confirm, if a girl I met recently takes unusual interest in one of my hobbies, I would assume she's into me. And I think most of my friends would do the same. Maybe ask them about more general stuff about their hobbies (for example, why they like jazz/rock climbing/cooking), showing that you're interested only in the activity itself. But I admit some guys are dense and will still believe you're into them. And others are just thirsty.
Also, you have to take in consideration that if you're more attractive than average most single men will think of you as a potential partner.
No. 61069
>>61067Time
Sleeping schedule
Killmepls.png
No. 61560
>>61554for me at least it was easiest to start off slow. there is always something i feel like i can do better, but start small. if you dont make your bed, then try to make an effort to do that instead of leaving it messy when you get up. once that becomes a bit more routine, add another thing. lets say, if you drink coffee or tea in the morning, after youre done with that, take a minute to wash your mug and spoon.
instead of thinking about a full face of make up because if youre having issues chunking out the time to do it, a full on instagram perfect face can be daunting, start off by getting used to washing your face as routine, then add on to that once you get used to it in a daily schedule.
im not trying to sound condescending. i have severe depression, so things as seemingly simple as showering regularly or brushing my hair or picking up after slid off my radar. but once i got those down to where i felt uncomfortable if i didnt do them, it was much easier to make a morning routine and an evening routine.
No. 61585
>>61554>get out of bed I have a job
>coordinate an outfit My wardrobe is all neutrals
>wash your face This is like brushing your teeth, you should be doing this anyway
>put on makeupWanting to look put-together for work. I go super minimal/natural though.
>hair Shorter haircuts are easier to maintain. If you have unhealthy hair try doing a hair mask
>pack a lunchI'm guilty of not doing this all the time, lol. Just means I'll go without lunch that day (good for if you want to lose weight) I always always always bring a huge bottle of water with me though.
>I am a NEETnot if you're going to school, anon
Nobody here will be able to help you, you need to get your shit together by yourself
No. 61591
>>61554Because we're not teenagers who are in high school and we have jobs which we actually need to look good at. Start by washing your face and cleaning up your room (how does that even happen? just put shit back where u kept it. thats basic shit you learn when you're 4).
You're not a neet, by the way.
No. 61621
>>61601Not that anon, but that is how I grew up and now I have a hard time keeping my room tidy smh.
There's a lot of basic things I'm still struggle doing perfectly because everyone did everything for me growing up. Everyone was jelly I didn't have to do shit at home, but it was actually a curse.
My mom didn't have time to care for the house, that's why we had a maid come home. we were never rich.
No. 61632
I have an issue and need some outside female perspective. Sorry for the book, this is hella complicated.
I work in a male dominated field with two other women. One of the girls, works in my department, but different subject matter. While the other is in a totally different department, but under the same group as a whole, she is also relatively new to the company and IT in general.
We noticed she started to come down to our side of the room to talk to us. At first, we thought it was just for vagina solidarity or whatever, but it became apparent she was just down here to push her work off on us. She managed to push a ticket on to me, and then later called me out in an email, customers/vendors included, because she wasn't paying attention and wanted a status. Thing was I had already completed my analysis and had been in contact with the customer during the whole process. Cringe. After that, I put her in a greyrock box. So she makes a b-line to the other girl now when she wants something.
However, things have escalated into danger zone area. During our weekly department meeting, I brought up a grievance I had with new girl the day before, (she didn't know what SNMP was, as a Network Engineer!) and how I was a little alarmed at the fact that chick doesn't ever want to touch her firewalls for troubleshooting. The other girl comments that it concerns her too, and that she's miffed new girl comes by to mooch her work onto her. Like I said, she does another part of Networking, so she wouldn't even have access to the tools the new girl would need anyways. So its just wasting her time. Not to mention, her counter part is out of office, and she's already getting slammed as it is.
That's when our boss informed us that new girl was already on their radar. "We've all had a conference call with HR in regards to her." It eventually comes out that she basically tried to dongle-gate a male co-worker in her department. HR did an investigation and nothing was found.
Later that day, the other girl and I were talking. She says , a week ago, when her counterpart was in office, she was chatting with him about an issue. We share an office with new girls department, ours, and another smack in the middle. The third department is straight up all dudes, ages mid 20's to early 60's. The other girl's counterpart's desk is in surrounded by the third group. The third group was having a conversation about their wives, typical guy conversation. New girl confronted her afterwards, edging her to report the third department's conversation to HR. Essentially, trying to make the case, that our department is hostile, because men exist in it.
Y'all, I'm at a loss here. I feel for new girl, as she's basically isolated her self from everyone. But at the same time, I don't want to jeopardize my career for a PC loose cannon. I want to remain cordial for business reasons, but I don't know what I can do. Any thoughts?
No. 61661
File: 1495757706345.png (86.7 KB, 301x337, 1488473228156.png)
Should I drop my therapist?
I've been seeing her for almost a year now, and when we first started having sessions, she said she'd call me every Wednesday between sessions to check in with me. She wasn't very consistent, so I called her out about it and she said it was hard to be glued to the phone to call me. Instead, she agreed to text me every Wednesday. I agreed even though I hate texting.
Well, that worked for awhile but in the past few months, she has gone back to being inconsistent, texting me on Thursday or Friday instead, never explaining herself or apologizing. Money is tight, so I've only been able to afford one session a month, and I figured she'd be on the ball about checking in to make up for not having more frequent sessions (and also because I'm suicidal as fuck). Apparently not.
I'm starting to get pissed that I have to remind her to do her job, and don't even want to open up to her anymore because I don't feel like she's reliable. I'm starting to wonder if it's even helping me since my depression and overall mood hasn't really changed. I'm not stranger to therapy and know it can take awhile, but I'm literally the same as when I first started seeing her.
tl;dr Therapist of one year is inconsistent as fuck about checking in with me every week like we agreed. Should I drop her or nah?
No. 61668
>>61655What girls are talking to him? Friends, coworkers, or does it seem more dangerous? If he treats you well and gives you a lot of attention, I wouldn't worry about it. He sounds like a good guy.
Can I ask how you are acting on your jealously now, being in a LDR? Are you just being passive aggressive or hiding it really well? Do you think it will change a lot when you move in?
If there's really nothing to worry about, try to spend your time doing something you love, call your parents, do a hobby, play a game. If you think there IS something to worry about, maybe reconsider moving in because being jealously will only make things worse in the long run.
No. 61951
File: 1496181862973.jpg (51.82 KB, 430x430, Cosplay-Uniform-Temptation-Lol…)
I want to get a sexy maid outfit or even just one of those little aprons to give my boyfriend a good time (we're both really into this kind of stuff, especially the anime side of it) where can I get really nice ones? I'm a size 12 and fairly chubby but also thick so some of the asian sizes I worry I'd be too big for.
No. 61953
>>61951Hey anon, looks like we're the same size, I'm pretty short and curvy, standard twelve and size medium.
Its hard for me to find a sexy maid outfit myself; my bf really likes it on me tho! I suggest getting the kind that has a tie-able back. That way the size is adjustable. Such as this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Princess-Costume-Outfits-CC208A-F/dp/B00M1HIGFG/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1496182144&sr=8-11&keywords=maid+costumeThe best quality maid dresses come from Japan as I've seen, in the US its usually costume-y material. Unless you REALLY invest a lot of money into designer western lingerie.
No. 61981
File: 1496198097191.jpg (171.6 KB, 500x330, tumblr_inline_mm7pmcDZCI1qz4rg…)
I'm basically a NEET in recovery, recently got a job but havent done much with my life in the past few years. I stopped trying to make friends bc I was embarrassed but lately I'm really lonely. I've never dated but I kind of want to try dating, maybe with an app or something. Is this a terrible idea? Should I wait until I've actually done something with my life? I'm in my late 20s, but I've never been on a date or had anyone express any sort of interest in me really. Is it best to just be upfront about my lack of exp or is it weird to mention and I should just proceed as if I HAVE dated before? And would it be weird and off-putting that I don't really have any irl friends or know anybody? Am I overthinking this?
What would you do in my situation?
No. 61982
>>61981would try brushing up on social skills to make friends b4 pursuing romance, anon
i wouldn't consider myself a neet since I've been attending comunity college but haven't been going outside for anything else, but I'm going to hang out w/ an old hs friend tmorro and fly out to see another friend for 2-3 weeks in the middle of June
next semester of college imma try and make more of an effort to connect w/ my classmates, im always thinking that other ppl would rather not get to know me but i know thats just my anxiety talking
No. 61984
>>61979This is a type of post I see on here and elsewhere occasionally and it bothers the shit out of me. You and socialization are enemies right now. You are dead inside. You should be working on you, however that should be done. Anti-depressants, therapy, exercise, finding work to force yourself into a bit of social activity and soon you'll see value in yourself and other people near you, whatever. Unless you're the kind of depressive where your sex drive disappears as well and makes it easier to reason against having a relationship in your current state, then your current life and mental situation is sadly a recipe to start an ill-advised LDR with someone and become over-attached to them. And this happens all the time, a depressed neet girl can get an LDR in about five seconds, it's kind of unfortunate really. These aren't the "we had a relationship and moved apart for school" LDR's. These are the worse kind that almost always fail. But that's beside the point, I'm not trying to just bum you out or something. The point is that you're wanting to kys over this and that means something is wrong. Having nothing going on in your life will make an LDR like this hang over your head all day every day. It can make a mental clusterfuck out of you, and it WILL enable you to be complacent because you'll want to be hanging around your computer and day dreaming about how you'll start taking care of your life once you're with him instead of doing it now. You should not be talking about killing yourself over this person you talk to on the net. You are thinking about living a long happy life with him when your current status is maybe moving into his parent's place, AND he's not eager about it? I'm not saying you can't be in this LDR, but I think you should take a step back and see it for what it is and nothing more. You need to love yourself and see value in yourself and you clearly aren't at the moment. A quick shortcut for that is working on yourself, maybe in some of the ways I listed.
No. 61985
>>61982I really would like to make friends, but somehow that feels harder than trying to find dates. I work full time M-F so I really only have the weekends to do stuff, and I've tried attending a few meetup.com groups (one for movies and one for video games) but both times I went it seems everyone came with a friend or in a group and it was really hard to socialize. But I would prefer friends, I think in the past it was easier to not feel bad about nobody being interested in me because I had friendships to focus on instead. Now I feel like I'm too old to make friends, everyone's already picked all their friends out (I've even read studies that say as people get older they are less interested in making new friendships and more focused on maintaining the ones they already have). At least with dating maybe I'd have a shot at meeting someone because people still date into their old age.
Or maybe I've just got a total ass-backwards view of everything because I've been by myself so long. Maybe it would be a good idea to just practice being social without even focusing on making friend? Like volunteer work or something?
No. 61987
>>61985well volunteering instantly makes a good impression on most most ppl and fellow volunteers
i was thinking about joining a club, like canoe club or hula (live in hawaii) basically sports
i think its easier to make friends in that kind of activity setting
is there no-one you would want to be friends w/ at your work? or all they all old fudy-duddys?
No. 61993
>>61979You sound exactly like me when things go bad and I understand you 100%, all the way down to the suicide part. The only difference being that I'm in a LDR for 6 years now (we started dating at 15, and are now trying to build our apartment).
I still get that shitty feeling from time to time, that something's wrong, but it's usually me being anxious because I'm overthinking. You have to remember that he has his own life and maybe deals with thing differently than you.
Ex. when things get serious, busy, he's working on something my bf "goes quiet" and it's absolutely normal in his case. If you're texting, it can be hard to "read" what he's really thinking or feeling etc. Maybe he thinks you got things figured out and/or doesn't want to bother you too much. He might be nervous about it and doesn't want to show it. Who knows, try to talk it out.
Also, some points anon
>>61984 made here are true. You NEED to find a hobby or friends. It really really helps. Just find something that won't make you think about him 24/7 because that just makes things worse. Gym, video games, drawing, cooking, whatever, as long as it gives you something to do. And you should also start working on not letting intrusive thoughts into your head. It's difficult, I know. Once you catch thinking about how he might be mad or something, push it away, just start focusing on something, whatever, that's in front of you, even if it's the wall lol
And perhaps start thinking what you want to do with your future. I know, another hard thing to do when your suicidal, but try to find something that COULD be a goal for the future, not necessary achievable but whatever will help you keep going.
No. 62050
>>62039I would. Just say you were drunk and high. He will appreciate the honesty and trust you more in the long term because he will know you own up to bad shit you do. Like confessing shows maturity.
IDK tho. Everyone's different
No. 62104
>>62050>He will appreciate the honesty and trust you more in the long term because he will know you own up to bad shit you doOr it will eat HIM up inside and he'll have trust issues with you for the rest of the relationship/dump you immediately.
>>62039It's really up to you. Though if the uppers made you so unbelievably horny you couldn't help but jump into some other dude's arms you should probably avoid them while your bf is out of town.
That and get tested asap
No. 62205
File: 1496457338795.jpg (24.24 KB, 457x395, 5e9d461f7dbd006f58e5385e699761…)
Today, I broke down in tears and have just been soul crushingly sad. I don't really know how to deal with this feeling because I don't think I've ever been this despondent… I haven't had the heart to do absolutely anything and it feels like there's a throbbing deep inside my chest. Pretty sure it's because of a situation I can't change, but I just need some advice on how to deal please… It really hurts.
No. 62214
>>62205You've got to grieve through things you can't change, it's a normal, healthy process, despite being unpleasant. It will suck, but it will pass. Just like a flu.
While the grieving stage lasts, treat yourself as if you were sick, because your body reacts to sadness pains the same way it does to physical pain. Lie in the bed, take vitamins, soups, pamper yourself, get someone to take care of you. Read your favourite fantasy book or watch your favourite TV show for a mild dose of escapism. And give yourself time to heal and regain strength.
No. 62216
>>62125Oh yeah no def, but I'm just saying to anon don't be too hopeful for that happy ending.
>>62113I'm telling her to avoid drugs if it puts her in these situations. If she started it, she clearly couldn't help herself. Yes it is a grey area but I doubt the dude was 100% sober if she was that drunk/high. If she wants to call it rape, that's her decision to make.
No. 62827
File: 1497297905987.jpg (216.49 KB, 1054x708, _3350133_orig.jpg)
I'm looking for some shopping-related advice. I've been wanting to have a more mature, diverse wardrobe, but it's difficult to know when and where to start.
What are your favorite stores?
What do you consider "essentials" in a wardrobe?
Would you recommend getting a little at a time or a shopping spree?
For a shopping spree, how much money would you recommend saving up?