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Last thread >>>/ot/385665
let it all out
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I really am so tired of internet culture and the impact technology has had on me. On my days off I just lie in bed all day cycling through games, tumblr, youtube, lolcow and instagram. I don't have any friends to talk to on the computer it's just that I need the constant flow of information. I've tried to remove myself and do something else like drawing (which I haven't been able to do at all since it got this bad) but then I'm just on my phone or my attention span lasts only a few minutes and it's physically uncomfortable until I get my phone back in front of my face. Even if it's really important for me to go to bed early I end up on my phone until I physically can't keep my eyes open and pass out. I can't just put it away and shut my eyes and drift to sleep. I feel like I have a screen addiction but I don't know how to stop it when my world is almost entirely my bed and my laptop. I feel like I can't even communicate in regular settings anymore like I've become this feral meme culture homunculus
I deleted facebook a few years ago because I felt inadequate and couldn't compete with preforming a successful and interesting life and I wish I had the strength to delete instagram cause it bothers me so much and influences me and I know I'd be able to get closer to the peace I desire without it but if I lose my social media presence then it's really like I stop existing to people who knew me. And I know that's fine and normal and before social media people forgot about each other all the time but now if I do it I'll just be gone. It'll just be "whatever happened to anon?" and otherwise there's really not much of a point to the photos I took. But I want to know what motivated me to make when I was a child, why did I do anything at all before I had to post it?
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I hate that I'm only horny when I'm on my period. I hate my stupid brain that makes me like this. I hate my life
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I feel this. I'm able to get horny at other times if I put in the effort in to get myself horny but I'm a big time reactive/mid-low libido type person like my #1 desire is finding a lower libido guy who won't constantly be trying to fuck. I'm learning to be ok with the fact that I will never have a high libido though, and when I do its usually temporary. I literally haven't had sex for almost 2 years, and don't get me wrong I still enjoy sex but honestly I'm just too lazy and disheartened to even try at this point. I've given tinder 3 or 4 shots and the one guy I met off there was some dude in a punk band who had an obsession with true crime and told me about how his nipple piercing once got infected and filled with pus on the first date and my last boyfriend thought my vagina's natural lubrication was gross plus my dating pool is extremely limited as in it doesn't really even exist without the aid of apps so putting all that into consideration I'm not surprised I have pretty much no desire to go and get dicked down anytime soon.
That's how it is with most cows tbh, no milk just nitpicking, maybe I'm just getting too old to give a shit about some rando girls hair and razor bumps
The only cows that genuinely have milk are the cows known for abuse or doing drugs, it is fun to watch trainwrecks though
I agree with above, if it were just simple things then I'd understand. Organising the party, knowing his favourite drink and getting it for him (depending on the price), a gift and a card (depending on just how many random people you tracked down and got to sign). But you literally made multiple test cakes so it would be "perfect". Unless you're really artistic tone down the cake because it would be really weird otherwise, and please don't tell him about the multiple cakes thing. It's the main potential marker that you went a little OTT for this guy you obviously really like which might make things really awkward for the guy at his own party. Good thing men are oblivious and he might not feel obligated to make sure you get something in return for this
It's too late to turn back now simply due to the card, it would be really suspicious so just go through with it. Also, it being what you'd want for your birthday is slightly irrelevant if no one else knows it so hopefully they do (and hopefully they don't take this as you doing all this with the expectation of getting this in return for your birthday)
Next time just ask the guy out, also I have no idea if this is the case but maybe check to see if you're perhaps entitled as a person because expecting your friends to take the time to bake and create the "perfect cake" for your birthday and paint a custom card for you is a bit much. Yeah it's nice and I'm sure few would protest depending on the circumstances, but it's a lot to specifically want
I'm sorry anon, I lost it at feral meme culture homunculus.
I feel like I'm on my way there too though and it's rough. I only tear myself away to exercise and pay attention in my classes but otherwise it's fucking hard. I swear I can feel the dopamine rush in when I open up social media or an imageboard to check what's new.
I agree with >>391689
that you should seek outside help though, since it seems you aren't able to enjoy anything by itself anymore at all. That's extreme.
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I feel like upvotes and down votes are a bad idea when it comes to depresion forums. Sometimes I look at the 3 measly upvotes I get and feel lonely. I started trying to write my depression posts differently (clickabit title, relatable comment, encouraging replies) so people would care. I kind of realized how fucked up that is now.
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I've spent this whole year crying and fighting with my mom.
Last year I dropped out of uni because I didn't study enough. However I managed to get into a new one but I have to pay for each year. Despite that I still can't force myself to take this seriously and get to work.
I just don't seem to have the energy for anything, not even my hobbies that I used to enjoy before.
Because of this my mom keeps arguing with me and throwing me into crisis' which make me feel even more useless and not want to do anything.
I always thought I'd get frustrated with myself and finally get my shit together, but I just keep caring less and less.
I hate going on fb and insta and seeing other people having fun, doing well in uni, getting jobs, getting married etc.
I have another test soon, but I can't study cuz I keep crying
I hate what my life has turned into
Can someone please help? Idk what's wrong with me
thank you for working hard to educate tomorrow's adults, anon.
if it helps, there are definitely students in your class who appreciate you and your lessons, but don't want to say so in case they get bullied because it's not "cool". teenagers are so hung up on wanting to look good in front of their peers, like they don't care about anything and are too good for school, but it's usually an act.
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If day 1 is your period, then day 14 marks ovulation. There's usually an uptick in testosterone (yellow line) around then and is at its highest either around ovulation and/or in the luteal phase right before your period (aka the waiting phase, this will either end with a period or a pregnancy). Progesterone drops off around day 28 and if the egg isn't fertilized, this triggers
the shedding of the uterine lining otherwise known as a period and the cycle starts all over again. If the egg IS fertilized then progesterone won't drop off and instead increase to prevent further ovulation during pregnancy.
Biologically this makes sense in terms of getting pregnant, higher sex drive = higher chance of seeking out/having sex and getting pregnant (if you don't use contraceptives).
so kinda unrelated but pertaining to periods
my period has lasted almost 5 days which is very out of character. usually it lasts 2 days max. my flow was also way heavier than usual and my pms symptoms have been especially horribly and have continued through this entire duration
has anyone experienced something similar or know why this might be happening? the emotional shit is the worst part, I want to go back to feeling normal
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My dad is horrible when it comes to reading social cues from me
Like not to be insensitive, but hes on 'holly shit how have you not raped any one' levels.
He has a habit of asking small questions and not taking no for an answer. If you say no he'll just repeat the question until you say yes ('are you sure '10 times in a row as his voice slowly gets sterner), act moody over you saying no (his mood gets ruined if you refuse to take a bite of his food), or simply refuse to leave until you say yes.
This stuff isn't that bad, but he can't put together how he's kind if forcefully making people do what he wants.
Like one time when I was a teen he wanted to look at my poetry and it was a bunch of angst shit so I wasn't comfortable showing it to him. Well it turned into a mexican stand off where in he refused to leave the room until I showed him my poetry. I broke down in tears and he still refused to leave. After a a few minutes I just gave up and said yes.
That memory wouldn't be as bad to me, but after the event happened he still can't mentally figure out that I was forced into saying yes during that poetry thing. When ever I told he I felt forced all he can say is "but you said yes" or "at least I didn't look behind your back". Like how? How can someone think their teen breaking into tears is still a yes?
This event kind of ruined mt relationship with my dad because I was to scared of anothet event like that happening again, but with sonething more serous.
Anyhow this rant was inspired by another conversation were my dad came to the stunning conclusion that falling asleep during a movie someone chose can and will be interpreted as rude (hes not going to fix it though. He just says its physicaly impossible for him to stay awake)
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I want to draw so fucking badly but every time i even try i get a really bad headache, and it's not even about the drawing. Even picking up the pen feels exhausting now. I think i'm actually fucking dying. This hobby i've been doing for over a decade now is so unberably exhausting now. I've tried getting on ritalin and that doesn't work either, in fact i took it for over 2 months and it did nothing to help my problem. My brain actually feels like it's decomposing.
>>391880>Anyhow this rant was inspired by another conversation were my dad came to the stunning conclusion that falling asleep during a movie someone chose can and will be interpreted as rude (hes not going to fix it though. He just says its physicaly impossible for him to stay awake)
Did you mean isn't rude? I'm confused who fell asleep.
You're dad's a dipshit but you sound beyond sensitive and need to get over yourself. Especially with that last part if you think your dad falling sleep during a movie is rude. No one wants to watch your boring shit unless it's a classic.
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>>391813>conventional standards>I know men rank pure white girls as the best.
Yes, anon. Each year men gather together at the International Notfemale Collective Exhibition Liaison and vote upon the superior ethnicity of females. This vote is final and men are not allowed to have preferences outside of the declared winner, and in fact they lose absolutely all sexual attraction to anyone who isn't in this group.
If this isn't a scrote, I genuinely feel bad for you anon, get treated for that BPD
I just don't know where to go from here. I can't develop my social skills because I'm ugly so everyone immediately hates me. I dont know how other below average people have the confidence to interact with others. Not in a mean way, its just fucking hard.
Being alienated makes me weird about people, and makes me angry about how theoretically awful they could be.
It's probably too late for me and I should just accept that I need to keep to myself forever. I take responsibility for my shittiness anyway.>>391877>>391878>>391891
Elliot bit was a joke because I know how simultaneously narcissistic, insecure, and stupid I sound.
I'm not a man. Although I guess a woman with anger issues is about as useless and inhuman as a man, so that's fair. Funny since the last time I vented about my irrational anger another anon also called me a man.
I only visited r9k for a period of about 6 months last year and have never started a thread there. The place just made me hate men more.
I’m sorry anon, I’m deleting bc my reply sounded retarded
But you genuinely sound like a fucking psycho and should seek help if it’s affecting you so much
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>>391906>She's a dumpy scene chick>it probably kills her that I'm so much prettier than her> the thought that someone's taken my man sends me fucking feral>But she took something that belonged to me.>>391913>I am mad at 'my man' >I don't blame her at all
You are inconsistent
Anon he didn't "belong" to you, and yeah its shitty that he started talking to her while you were dating but that's on him. >Ugh I'm just so much prettier than her
If there's anything that indicates severe self esteem issues, its saying shit like this. Go to therapy and work on your shitty personality flaws or don't date.
yeah stfu if you “wanted help” you wouldn’t post your unhinged rants on a vent gossip forum obviously seeking validation for your behaviors
it honestly sounds like you’re lying about how you don’t hate this girl and just want to whine about her when it’s obvious to anyone who can read that your boyfriend is obviously the bigger problem in this picture
Oh my god, you're such an annoying drama queen, get a fucking life you loser.
Just shut the fuck up about it or go do it you faggot.
Or you could try building a personality instead of having your pitiful relationship define your entire existence.
Scum like you makes me sick.
as annoying as this retard is, this is actually a cute mental image anon (sans the eye clawing)
good job for adding some levity to this train wreck
>>391931>he grows closer to her and actually stays
Lol, you're giving a man like that too much credit. >clawanon takes the girl's eyes >suddenly disability and burdens, responsibilities ensue >man pretends to be supportive but the blindness is a constant reminder of the past>blindanon starts to become not as "fun" for clawanon's ex man>man starts chatting up another dumpy girl on the side>blindness makes the cheating and moving process easier as he literally cannot be caught>man gaslights blind girl and slowly introduces the notion that very few men can accommodate the responsibility of a woman who is blind>blindanon's self esteem drops so rapidly that she starts to accept what a burden she has become regardless of what's reasonable>man leaves blindanon but on the note that he is the "good" guy who tried to be supportive but ultimately couldn't shoulder the pain
Just spitballing hypotheticals. This is fun!
I fell victim
to my bfs ex. Literally never met her, she's about 5 years older but she did a lot of digging on me. She got back in touch with people with his best mates gf to shit talk me amongst other shit. She scares me a bit so I don't want to dox myself lol. She's also a hulking woman I would be terrified if she saw me in person. I'm not even the girl he dated after her I'm just the one he got serious with. She spoke about a claim to him to the other girl that's mutual between us and she told me. She still blogs about him and his family. She has this public blog I got directed too because she's so attention starved her fb page wasn't suffice she needed an entire separate outlet for her ramblings. She's a holistic healer lol
>>391900>Everyone hates me because I'm ugly
No, they hate you because you're a shitty person with a shitty personality. Stop blaming your problems on appearance. Do you really think someone is going to hate you because of your fucking torso?
I would bet that the girl with a boyfriend, who you think is so much uglier than you, at least has a personality outside of obsessing about her appearance and the appearance of others… you honestly probably are a lost cause unless you get your shit together, jesus christ.
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>been at new job for a little over a month
>lowest rung at the office, can't perform any kind of medical services so I'm usually running paperwork
>get asked to drop off paperwork to the office nextdoor on my way out today
>girl that does the corporate filing seems a bit like a drama queen based on my previous impressions, really immature but thinks she's alpha
>go into office
>not in her room but I see her in another
>like to give files in person since they contain personal info, there's no reason for me to set it someplace unsecured in her office if she's literally right the fuck there
>besides I don't want to be liable in case shit gets lost
>notice she's having a conversation with a male
>make eye contact with her while holding up the folder, she ignores me
>I assume whatever it is that it's work related and she'd either pause or be out in another minute
>"So why can't you just do this for me? …. Slander!"
>try not to eavesdrop outside the door but it sounds like a heated exchange and about something more personal and not work related
>give it another minute for her to realize I'm here on business
>she approaches the door just to slam it shut in front of me
>make eye contact with a different office girl who's a lot nicer and ask her to give corporate girl the files
I was going to beat myself up for not reading the room quicker, but then I realized that's so unprofessional to be arguing in an open office like that. She must certainly not be that busy and have the energy at the end of the day to argue.
It irritates me how these seemingly unqualified and juvenile people get into these positions of power.
yeah, and it only gets worse
I’d rather put up with sexual harassment from retarded old boomer males than have to deal with the sniveling and neurotic personalities of young professionals (usually women but some young men can be this way too)
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>see promising rarepair fanfic
>btw character 2 is trans
Every time. Just let me read my quality gay porn pls
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I’m sick of being mom zoned. I have become an outlet for random male coworkers to dump all of their women/personal life problems on. No matter where I go, I attract men who will call or text me randomly with their problems. Coworkers will even come into my office to sit and talk.
The kicker is I’m engaged. I don’t flirt with anyone and I am very quiet. I don’t go out of my way to ask people about their lives, but somehow I always end up in the position of therapist.
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"If Cosby got in trouble for doing what he did, Cardi B should get in trouble for what she did too". Why are people so stupid? Some old fuck drugging and raping many women is not the same as some woman drugging some men and robbing them. Robbing someone is not the same as rape. They're no where near comparable. I'd rather be robbed any day that have someone fucking drug and rape me. Everyone is screaming at the Cardi B situation, "If it was a man, he'd be cancelled right away and put in jail!", "Double standards", "Society is more lenient on women". Yet, there are thousands of cases of men raping women and children everyday that don't get in trouble or do little to no time in jail. Plenty of male celebrities have done fucked up shit and are still allowed to perform their career without being "canceled". How many famous men have beat the shit out of their wives again? If a woman does something like drugging someone and taking advantage of them, it makes headlines because it's so rare. Meanwhile men do this shit everyday and no one bats an eye because it's practically expected.
“>start texting guy I met off r9k”
yeah I think you fucked it up right about there anon
If you've always been close then maybe she is trying to make you learn how to sort out your own issues and talk to people of your own age. I have this same problem with my younger sister. When we were growing up I was her main care giver because our mother was an abusive
alcoholic. My sister is now at university and she's still dependent on me for support. I love her so much it's difficult for me to tell her no and be more strict with her but she's an adult now and needs to live her own life.
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She did rape them, though.
Fucks me off that anyone bringing up the fact that him having a fiancé and not only going to a strip club but also getting a stripper to go back to his room being scummy is immediately bombarded with people whining about victim
blaming when that’s not what it is at all. Pointing out that someone is a shithead for trying to cheat on their fiancé isn’t the same as saying he deserved it. But it’s not surprising considering these accusations come from the same men that then go on to screech about how ACTUALLY it’s men that get raped the most!!
Agreed. He sounds pretty sleazy for going to a hotel room with Cardi when he had a fiancée (what did he think was gonna happen? Lol) but what she did was still rape and therefore terrible. Just because the victim
is scummy or a bad person doesn’t make the crime justified.
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>mfw walking into that monkey haters thread
People that participate in a community dedicated to the abuse of any kind of animal are fucking scum.
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I can't stop going through every commentor's profile and seeing if they've uploaded any videos or have favorited playlists.
Most of them are completely empty random first name last name accounts.
Some of the comments really do seem like bot responses, but some channels have Patreons.
Maybe there really are just that many sick, demented fucks out there that congregate online. This stuff is extremely similar to crush videos or irl vore fetish shit.
Not going to knock you for talking to guys off r9k, but EXTREMELY FEW of them are of ANY quality. There's literally only one I know of and he consistently disappears for varied amounts of time to pick up girls IRL.
It kind of sucks, actually. Fuck him for that.
Removing a uterus has more complications than just infertility, you’d be at serious risk of all your organs collapsing. You’d also go into early menopause, having a hysterectomy is honestly a shit show all around.
What you need is therapy, not seriously invasive and life changing surgery.
as someone who used to volunteer at an animal shelter where I met abused and abandoned dogs and cats seeing animals be tormented and people derive pleasure from their torment is nothing short of disgusting to me. I've seen a cat who's been shot in the head survive, with a scar forever embedded on her face, I've seen dogs emacidated with almost no fur… I've seen some shit, but I've also seen the recovery process for abused animals, which gave me faith in humanity. then shit like this revokes my faith in humanity again.
it's pure sociopathy to not only condone animal torture but to seek it out and continue to view it. the fact that there's a community for crush videos and now monkey torment disgusts me so much as someone who loves animals. how demented do you have to be to catalogue animal abuse videos?
I mean the stretch marks suck but they're not the end of the world. That and weight gain are the most vain things to be upset about considering the black box warning for depo is bone density loss over time, even after you stop using.
Anon I feel like I can speak from authority on this. My mom forced
me to take the depo shot from 15-17 and among the side effects you described, I remember that birth control making my emotions manic and rollercoaster-like. Not only that, but I had breakthrough bleeding and spotting all the time. It's a shitty form of bc on many levels and obviously it's not an appropriate fit for you.
Out of curiosity, have you tried the arm implant? The worst side effect for me is weight gain and dryness but I never have a period and at least I don't have to worry about my bones crumbling inside me. Plus it's good for 3 years so I don't have to show at appointments ever. I know this also isn't for everyone but I don't agree that sterilization is the answer for women, like another anon mentioned, we are more prone to suffer physical consequences from it that are more severe than a few stretch marks and weight gain.
>>392089>serious risk of all your organs collapsing
sure, there's a risk of that, but plenty of people have hysterectomies and don't have it happen to them. My mother got a hysterectomy when I was born almost 25 years ago, and none of her organs have collapsed. If they need to take my vagina out as well to lower the risk, that's fine. Also, my grandmother and great grandmother both died of uterine cancer, so I have an actually
serious risk of developing uterine cancer as well. It would be wise to get it out before I die of cancer.
I'm keeping my ovaries no matter what. My eggs are dying with me. Therefore I wouldn't go through early menopause.
in therapy. I spoke to my therapist about this earlier today, and she agrees it's going to be necessary for me at some point, whether because of cancer or because I'm suicidal.>>392091
I tried in high school and it didn't work. I'm going to ask my gyno if there's any other pill that might work for me. But again, I don't want to have to ingest pills daily for the next 30 years. I see this as my last resort before serious steps need to be taken.
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>want the d
>get on tinder and snap
>guy who is cute messages me
>start talking dirty, just want a hookup for tonight
>sends me gif of him jacking off
>lives 20 minutes away
>okay so meetup with me
>"call me old fashioned but I am not into hookups before I get to know someone and hang out"
…………….motherfucker you sent me a video of you pumping your cock. You're not "old fashioned" or traditional, gtfo with this little bitch cold feet shit. Fucking dumb fleshsack. I'm so mad and horny and I'm about ready to slap a mother with my dildo.
The one night I wanna use the "cock carousel" card and get laid and dudes are being cowards.
had the arm implant for a year and bled for 60% of that time. It had the opposite effect of what I was looking for.
and yeah, bone density loss is another good reason why I don't want to have to use hormones to keep me alive. Adding more side effects to that list that make me feel like shit about myself is what is tipping the balance.
This is a vent thread, y'all, not a "try to convince me I'm wrong for feeling so hopeless + needing to get the thoughts out" thread. it ain't helping
Sounds like a shit therapist. Firstly, she has absolutely no authority to recommend something like a hysterectomy. Secondly, she shouldn’t be indulging these thoughts of yours by saying that otherwise you won’t stop being suicidal.
Also, just a because a few of your family members have had cancer doesn’t mean you will, nor does your mother having been fine after a hysterectomy guarantee that you will be.
And like an anon above me said, the issues you’re dealing with currently are entirely vain ones and pale in comparison to what vital organ removal can do. You’re clearly not at all sound of mind and you need a new therapist because, again, she really shouldn’t be indulging these self-harming thoughts of yours - and yes, wanting to removal a vital organ for no medical reason but purely from dysphoria would fall under self-harm
Her mother and grandmother died of uterine cancer. Mom and grandma. That's considered an increased risk, especially for uterine cancer, which is uncommon compared to lung or breast cancer. It's also real hard to detect. No tests for it.
If you have no direct familial link to a reproductive system or breast cancer, I wouldn't expect that you'd understand but please cut anon some slack. Worrying about the place babies come from spawning a real fucked up baby in the form of a cancer that kills does a fucking number on your head.
Try for kindness next time, it costs you nothing.
Anon have you been checked for any reproductive issues like fibroids? Maybe look into endometrial ablation, it probably won't completely stop your period but it'll help make them more manageable, but there's always the chance they could stop completely. I wanna say my mom got it done and she hasn't had a period for close to 10 years I wanna say? And yeah they're gonna bring up the whole "But what if you want kids in the future" argument but they're way more likely to do this than remove part of an organ. They'll also back off a little I feel like since you're not even into guys.
And most doctors (even without bringing up "but you might want kids") generally save hysterectomy as your absolute last option because it cannot be reversed and also because of the possible complications, long term and short term. So sure you won't have a period but at what cost?
>>392115>At this point it looks like it's the only way that anyone will take me seriously when I say I feel like my uterus is not a part of me and should not be inside of me and causes me major dysphoria just to think about.
Also unless I'm reading this wrong she never said it was actually giving her dysphoria, only that she felt like it was the only way to get people to take her seriously. Which clearly is a horrible idea I shouldn't even have to explain why
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i really want a sort of physically white trashy boyfriend (bonus if he came from poverty/very little money) that's stupid but sweet and super emotional and isn't hung up on being or seeming smart/pretentious. i just want a simple bf that is kind and wants us to help each other financially so we have stability, and i'm so romantically/emotionally frustrated by it. i dont think they exist but i met this physically trashy guy the other month that was so sweet to me and had less than i do and i have been thinking about him a lot, about guys like him, whether or not they're ok, etc. i'm tired of being emotionally toyed with by men that have more than me and feel like they're still kind of on their own in life, even if married or engaged etc
every guy i end up dating has had an upper middle-upper class lifestyle as kids/growing up and even though they act like it hasn't affected them/doesn't affect them, it definitely has, and you definitely feel the difference when you come from poverty or no money yourself. i hate it so much. plus these kind of men seem to never want to be a team and work toward goals together, because they know they've always have had family to fall back on, or they just feel like the shit will never hit the fan for them and that they're immune to terrible circumstances, and it ends up making you feel so alone. even when they're left wing, the economic privilege is really a divide that i can't get past. you still just always feel it.
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Nerd culture becoming “popular” feels like a huge bait and switch, because I was so excited when I was younger to see the things I liked become more accepted and commonplace.
However now it’s dominated by normies from SoCal who care more about social media image and networking for status, while actual nerds and otaku are further pushed to the side, because our media is cool now but we’re still socially unacceptable to be seen with.
It's probably a mistake to assume this is organic "nerd culture" and not a cultivated version of that now that the internet is so centralised.
I don't necessarily mean that in a conspiratorial sense, just that in contrast to the explosion of speech platforms in the early internet/web, and the focus on opening the boundaries of discussion that was kind of the norm, everything is now regressing to an ever-smaller ring of platforms with ever-tighter acceptable "cultural" norms.
In that kind of environment we no longer have the spergy noise that equalised everybody. You also never really know if trends are something people actually like or some dumb shit/meme that everyone seems suddenly obsessed with overnight is actually being driven by a paid shitposter house somewhere.
If you're a huge industry of marketers (or, yes, CIA niggers) who want to be able to influence huge numbers of people like that, then it's in your interest to establish an ecosystem–or "nerd culture"–that gives you a way into our heads. They've had plenty of time to do it and it's what you'd like… heuristically expect from assholes throwing money at the internet for a decade or two, eventually.
Embarrassing otakus were here long before and never went anywhere yet I don't think "it" really reflects what any of us are actually like or want? So where the fuck did it come from?
I remember when Pokémon go became popular, on the first day it was out there were these memes and posts about it which just screamed fake paid promo made by nintendo, just to give people the idea it was popular, especially "normal" people that insist on following every new trend. Of course it worked
The difference between nerd culture and what we see now is: Nerds liked X before it was popular and will go on liking it well
after it stops being popular. Yet we see "nerd" things become popular for a week, a couple months at most, and the forgotten forever (or until the next round of paid promo) That's not how the nerd brain works and is pretty good evidence for all this stuff just being extremely effective mass advertising campaigns
See also: Artists joining in on the promo by rushing out pieces that coincide with news stories about new products, in the hopes of boosts for their pages. Getting artists to do more
promo for you for free is quite the bonus, and I wonder whether this is all intentional too; large accounts told to/paid to promote/share certain posts which coincide with product releases
Anyway, in summary, if it isn't a long term interest for someone it doesn't pass the obsessive nerd test, and companies are just taking advantage of how easily they can advertise for free online now/get others to do it for them to get normie sales, said normies will be bored of the thing within a couple of months/as soon as it isn't "cool" anymore
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For some reason my menstrual cycle is now 17-20 days long so I get my period stupidly often. Why the fuck. I hate bleeding.
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I'd love to get a pixie cut but my giant ass forehead and thin hair make it look pretty bad and just… ugh. I know it's also a bitch to maintain but somehow I prefer it to long ass hair that keeps getting into my face constantly
oh my god who cares>>392203
this better be a troll post or you're actually retarded and need a minder so as to prevent post pollution like this
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Fuck I've been doing so okay mentally recently but today I've just been crushed with overwhelming anxiety and I don't even know why because there's nothing going on in my life that's worth getting this worked up over yet here I am!
>>392122>every guy i end up dating has had an upper middle-upper class lifestyle as kids/growing up and even though they act like it hasn't affected them/doesn't affect them, it definitely has, and you definitely feel the difference when you come from poverty or no money yourself.
This is so true. My husband works and I'm in school and we have a financial situation I consider absolutely amazing.>live in cozy two bedroom apartment >no debt at all, school, car, top of the line phones all paid off>able to buy lots of nice things (two expensive gaming laptops, regularly buy new games, nice clothes including brand lolita, lots of weed, food out, etc. and still able to save)>tens of thousands of dollars in the bank
He's still stressed like crazy about money and thinks of us as far behind where we should be in our mid-twenties. The weird thing is he's very aware of how most people, especially in our area, live paycheck to paycheck and are one major emergency expense away from financial disaster if they're lucky. But there's this bizarre disconnect he has when it comes to our own finances. Having millionaire parents makes you feel like you're a failure if you're just doing "pretty well for your age" instead of bringing in six figures.
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I'm like him even though my parents were just well off rather than rich. For me it's just a matter of long term thinking - yes, I have money now, but what about retirement? Am I investing correctly? And it's smart to think about these things young, because compound interest is a very powerful thing and the younger you are the better.
Count yourself lucky that you have a financially literate bf, assuming he is not just stressing without doing anything to improve your financial position.
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I'm an art student and I've got tendinitis lately. It's so damn frustrating. I use my dominant hand to finish my assigments because I have no choice but it's killing me, the pain gives me heavy headaches too. Luckily I manage to use my non dominant hand for personal sketches and digital coloring but still, it's annoying because I'm not good enough with it to do the stuff I want but I don't want my other hand to get worse so you know I just suck it up.
I'm not even sure my grades are good enough to stay in the art school I'm in and like, I can't do the best I can do anymore and I'm so worried I'll be kicked out by the end of the year. I'm so upset tbh, that whole situation makes me sad. I just want to draw ugh
Anyways sorry if it's not very clear, english isn't my first language and I'm tired
I had this same thing happen to me except I was out of art school and doing freelance work.
It's seriously heartbreaking, I feel for you anon.
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I was so fucking happy to hear that Zendaya was playing a lesbian character in HBO's Euphoria. Turns out the character she falls in love with is a TIM. I wanna fucking die.
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My friends have always just assumed that I've a lot sex, or rather a normal sex life, when irl I am a virgin. No one ever asked so i'm not actually lying to anyone and it doesn't really matter but it kinda does. I've had a girlfriend and I just never had the guts to tell anyone we never even fucked, how the hell would you even tell at 26yo?
it's mainly due to my experiences with toys and a long masturbation career lol, i just know i'd disappoint anyone else with my too tight pussy. shit sounds like a brag, but it isn't it's like you had no visible nostrils and you had to blow your nose.
my life is so fucking sad, i sometimes get this terrifying visual of me being 40 and a virgin, am i a fucking femcel, i don't blame anyone else than my fucking maybe-vaginismus-having-cunt so maybe not. It's more about me not being able to believe someone would have the patience to deal with me not being just able to let someone ram shit into me just like that. anal would be ok tho. so it's just BIZARRE. Honestly depressing. i am this close to getting a prostitute and just…trying it out, i am so scared it would be like that netflix show my husband won't fit? I know there's a vagina thread but i came here to just vent and that i did.
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i wish i could just commit to exercising or eating healthy or even starving.
i'm not exactly fat yet but i know i'll be there in three or four years like all of my family, and once i get fat it will be too late to get out.
seems like we're keeping it if i don't end up having a miscarriage, oh god ah fuckkkkkkKKK
i'm excited of course but good lord if this isn't the most terrifying thing i've ever experienced
my dad killed himself a few days before my birthday, a few weeks ago. i never really knew him. a relative contacted my family after seeing a post about his death on instagram. if a distant second cousin through marriage hadn't passed the information forward, i never would have even known he had died.
i'm living with my mother, who is an actively using drug addict. she abused and neglected me very badly when i was a child. i was in and out of the psych ward for various suicide attempts as a teenager because of this situation, but i think they were mostly cries for help. my grandma has covered for her, protected her from consequences and enabled her throughout her entire addiction. it often felt like i was the only one who saw how dire the situation was, and i was often met with anger, or invalidation, or gaslighting when trying to express how fucked it all was (and still is).
her addiction began when i was in the 4th grade, and continues to this day, in ways i cannot escape or avoid. it has been eleven years of back to back crises and traumas.
she started up a meth habit a year and a half ago, and it culminated in her losing custody of my sisters and burning her house down in a suicide attempt caused by her drug induced psychosis and the grief of losing contact with my sisters. she then moved in with me and my grandma, when we moved out to the sticks specifically to get away from her.
for a good while, i was consistently making leaps and bounds of progress, through hard work and discipline. when she came to live with us, i violently backslid almost instantly. i've been having ptsd nightmares about her for years, and i can barely stand to look at her. i've always been expected to sidestep her, repress my trauma and play nice for everyone else's sake.
in two months, she's going to try for partial custody of my sisters again. she's not sober; they don't know that. history is going to repeat itself and i feel a looming sense of dread. i don't want them to end up like me. i feel powerless.
ever since i found out about my dad killing himself, my dissociation has become much more all consuming than usual. my trauma around my mother is resurfacing, because i've been repressing it as hard as i can for as long as i could. i'm more miserable than i have ever been, and i came really close to hanging myself two nights ago. it scared me, because i was very committed to ensuring i succeeded, i decided on simple suspension hanging via doorknob with a knot placed on my carotid to cut off blood supply to the brain. i ended up popping some klonopin to take the edge off and falling asleep instead. it's still at the back of my mind.
i'm supposed to move out soon, but i don't know where to go from here. i have no hope for any kind of future for myself. when i was doing a little bit better emotionally i was starting to think seriously about going to college. i don't know how i am supposed to take this big leap of faith and become an independent adult when i can barely function.
>inb4 "get help"
i applied to an inpatient program suited to my needs, and i was marked low priority and told it would definitely be at least over a year before i'd have a bed.
I've never said anything about this for 4 years and I don't even know if it constitutes as sexual assault but I know even if it doesn't it still fucks me up
Basically when I was 16 and dating my first boyfriend we were picked up after school by our mutual friend to go back to my BFs house to study. I like to look out the window when I'm in the car so that's what I was doing until I look back at my boyfriend and he has his dick out and he's trying to get me to give him head. I didn't want to, like, at all. I motion to our friend in the front seat like "He's gonna see us" and my boyfriend just said something like no it'll be fine. I kept trying to hesitate and get him to realize I didn't want to, I can't remember if I said no or not. I just remember looking out the back window at the cars behind us for a few seconds and just feeling like I didn't have a choice and feeling like if I made a big deal out of it then our friend would find out and I didn't wanna be caught in that situation, even though it wasn't my idea I knew I would be seen as being partly at fault for his dick being out. So I just did it, I only did it for a few seconds before I was firm and said I'm not doing this and he just kinda huffed. When we got to his house he left our friend in the living room and took me back to his room and tried to have sex with me. He got my pants off and I was just kind of going along with it, our friend walks in on us and I just kinda laugh because I think I was just trying to act normal or act like this was no big deal but I don't know, I didn't know how else to act and in my head if I laugh about embarrassing things, then people won't think I'm embarrassed idk. Our friend ended up leaving, which I don't blame him.
I was still friends with that guy (not my ex) until a few months ago and I really wanted to tell him but never did, I didn't wanna risk him feeling weird for being in that situation and not being aware of it, it just felt fucked up so I never told him. I don't think he'd even believe me anyways, or he'd say its not a big deal and like maybe its not and I'm just sensitive but I've ugly cried about this before and I went through some shit as a kid and this gives me the same shaky heart pounding feelings and it makes me space out like crazy when I think about it like almost full on dissociating. Before this the same boyfriend had a horrible habit of groping me and sticking his hands down my pants in public and in school regardless of how many times I told him to stop or pushed his hands away. I feel stupid for caring about something that happened in high school so I usually just try to forget about it but it still ends up creeping its way into whatever I'm thinking about every few months to every few weeks. I just wanna be able to talk to my friends about this but I can't, and I'm not sure I ever will. All I've ever considered this is a grey area and it very well may just be that but it still fucks me up.
You're probably going through what's known as the keto flu. This is when you're body adjusts from glycolysis and using carbs for energy, to ketosis and using ketones for energy. Try drinking sugar free electrolyte drinks, or making your own with sugar free cordial, water and electrolyte powder. Make sure to check the nutritional information for hidden carbs in drinks.
Some more infohttps://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/keto/flu-side-effectshttps://www.ruled.me/faq/what-is-the-keto-flu/
Also make sure you get enough vegetables. There are plenty of low carb options like kale, cauliflower, mushrooms and zucchini. If you feel like a treat you can have a handful of berries like raspberries or blueberries with heavy cream and it won't take you over your carb macro.>>392654
No you don't. I've been eating a ketogenic diet for over a year to treat epilepsy and chronic cluster headaches. I eat less than 15g of carbs a day. Not only does it control the fits and headaches, I feel better than I have done in over a decade because I'm not constantly sick from medication side effects. I'm not saying it's for everyone and I'm not too sure how I feel about people doing it for weight loss. However it is a perfectly valid
treatment option when done with medical supervision.
Then don’t do keto. It’s easy to lose weight even with pcos. The absolute worst case of it in the world would still only put anyone at an 80 calorie slow-down.
It’s literally half an apple or a piece of bread. The “I can’t lose weight because pcos” line is such nonsense.
Thanks anon, I think I've been skimping too much on veggies.>>392715
Where did I say I was losing weight? My BMI is 24. My doctor told me to go low carb for my insulin resistance, and I'm inclined to trust a medical professional. I didn't realise low carb was such a touchy topic here.
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going through a rough patch and realised thoughts about death keep popping up a lot because I'm longing for release. Not suicidal and there's hope but right now, it's hard. I'd go inpatient if I didn't have a strong support system luckily that can't be improved much
I'm the same. I'm not diagnosed with BDD so I don't know if that's what I have, but I genuinely can't recognise my own face. It always feels like it's changing, melting, moving. Even ugly people seem to at least have a face that keeps together, but mine is a weird changing mess that just spills out. I really feel like a monster.
We probably both look average, though. How likely is it that we're horribly ugly when most people are just average ?
Is he like the Varg innawoods "I only want white babies" type or the "eradicate the jews and brown people" type?
If he isn't violent I think it might be worth seeing where your relationship goes with him.
Lmfaoooooo @ even considering this absolute retard to be father material or even boyfriend material. this better be bait because neo-nazis are the ultimate brainlets. I can MAYBE see keeping him as a friend with the sole purpose of deradicalizing him, but fucking kek @ dating this trash and not realizing he was a neo-nazi until actually dating him. how shallow are your relationships with people that you're able to even get this far with a nazi until noticing he's a nazi? >>393016
both of those options are trash and you're encouraging anon to be used by a man that wants to utilize her as a literal white power incubator
Fuuuck let's that simple? I came from the altered African version so I got.>No fish, eggs, meat, milk>Fast every day>No eating before 3pm so skipping medications is a somewhat common thing>Also the more religous would fast every Wednesday when it wasn't lent.
I feel kind of jealous now.
>>393028>I'm not a big fan of immigration myself anyway. Currently living in a non white area and it's really woken me up.
i'm not a huge fan of immigration but i can still recognize that varg is a psychotic dumbass. cute soyboy tier environmentalist virgin loner bf >>>>>> right wing huwite "modern society is muslim pandering and degenerate" woman-hating retard
one will abuse you and the other wont, on account of the 'soyboy' being made of papier mache and hair. one is also a convicted felon and one isn't. varg tier men are trash and should be straight up disposed of>>393030
kek, all of them fetishize authoritarianism and nazism to a degree that they'd spread their asscheeks for goebbels and allow themselves to be wiped out/executed at point blank range by their white power daddies so long as it made them feel useful. literally the most spineless, bird-brained pissbabies ever
This is bait right? Please tell me this is bait.
>tfw there are idiot women on this site who actually date and fuck nazis and have no problem with this because "i don't like immigration either"
Get the fuck out of there. Any man who is openly a trump supporting nazi in this day in age is without a doubt harbouring horrible views about women, and it's only a matter of time before you find that out. and you will find that out. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. But what's better, jumping ship now, or waiting until you're married and have kids with this asshole? When you do something he doesn't like and he's threatening you with his guns? When you're trying to raise the 7 white babies he wants but he keeps leaving to go on "paramilitary exercises" with the rest of his nazi bros?
Politics are a huge deal anon, there's nothing wrong with leaving a guy because his beliefs don't line up with you. Trust me, you can find a guy better than someone whose a fucking nazi. You deserve better than a guy whose a nazi. Love yourself. You can't change him. Men are a dime a dozen and dick is a abundant. Get out of there. Find someone normal.
>>393012>hygienic, athletic, smart, has 2 degrees, likes animals>so I guess it balances out the being an actual nazi part
Femcel's first lay or bait? Jesus get some dignity. Beside the having two degrees part, everything else you listed should be the absolute minimum standard in choosing a mate. He's not a catch even if he wasn't a literal nazi. >he wants me to breed for him seven times like a true ~aryan~ cattle 7 months into our relationship
Yeah ok it's b8
You’re not doing anything wrong. It sounds like you’re just being a genuinely nice person and they’re misconstruing that as you being sexually interested. As >>393220
said, a lot of men are only nice to women because they want something from them so they assume women are the same.
Eh, they're just hurt from being rejected so they're trying to put the blame on you by claiming you were leading them on.
Yes, some will use
your politeness while others will think
it means you're available to them. You want to be careful of the former btw, those guys will take advantage of your kindness so they might have specifically targeted you for that. The latter are just dumbasses.
You just need to let them know immediately that you're not interested but be prepared to face backlash from that too since again, they'll protect their bruised ego like lying and saying they weren't interested either.
Welcome to the world of having to socialize with the opposite sex where you might get raged on no matter what.
I've taken it before. If you're worried about it, I would say just go get Plan B (you can get a coupon online) or you could search if there are health centers in your area that have them free.
If you are stressed about it, your period will be late from stress, and then you'll be more stressed bc you'll think you're pregnant - IMO it's worth your own sanity to just take it.
Yeeah already thinking about seeing a doctor to get a prescription not a big fan of people seeing my vag tho also never needed it before… anyways I took it now it's just that I'm close to ovulation so I'm a little worried I guess.
Had my period aprox 14 days ago so that sucks.
The guy also said that it's a dangerous time lol
Did not even say anything about the pill which kinda shocked me like I never took it before and If I had not googled so damn much today I would have not known anything.
Nah where I live they tend to take a look.
A friend of mine had to get it done so that woman would still prescribe her birth control.
Where do you live? In the US, possibly other countries, you can literally get prescribed birth control through an app.
If you're sexually active you need
to be going to the gynecologist every 3 years anyways - especially
if you're having unprotected sex. Many STDs have no symptoms and if left untreated can cause serious damage to your body. Untreated chlamydia, for example, can render you infertile. You can get HPV even if you use a condom every single time - and HPV can cause warts and cancer down the line! Please go get a pap smear and get on birth control. Your sexual health is incredibly important.
Stfu thats literally the first guy I slept with but ok.
We were both drunk af which ain't much of an excuse but better than nothing. We've always used a condom before.>>393331
Not in the US that's my point. I know how easy it is in other countries.
Anyways as I said I'm taking your advice still thanks!
This female I knew took the morning after pill after some guy came in her. She gained a bunch of weight. I'm not sure if it was related to taking the pill. Years later she kept blaming her weight gain on taking that pill one time.
I know this doesn't help you, but don't be so hard on yourself.
>>392198>here were these memes and posts about it which just screamed fake paid promo made by nintendo, just to give people the idea it was popular,
Do you remember how China and Russia banned Pokemon Go, because the developers Niantic (a Google offshoot, after Google incorporated a bunch of GPS-based tech from startups funded by In-Q-Tel) were alleged to essentially be a CIA front, and pokemon were being clustered around government and military installations in those countries?
I think it was just a little while later that Google street view added the ability to map stores and building interiors with your phone camera.
I think this is potentially a good example of how "they're just trying to make money" can blind us to more direct objective purposes.
I know all about politicians who have forced girlfriends and mistresses into abortions while simultaneously preaching anti-choice for all women. It's disgusting and I'm ashamed to now have less rights than those idiots.
I think I'm most annoyed with my dad. My dad won't even read my thesis because it's apparently too liberal. I'm an economist studying the decrease in absolute upward mobility based on income and other factors. Somehow that's a liberal topic so his response was, "Oh god," when I simply told him what I'm studying. I swear he's become so brainwashed in the past few years.>>393004
I am too. I try to be vocal about my opinions on platforms to communicate how backwards it is but the same dudes who reporting pro-life bullshit on Facebook are the same ones who go silent when they see my posts. The women that are with these men must have no respect for themselves.
I legitimately do not understand how people can be Nazis in this current time. The population of Jews is very, very small now. As someone who had upwards of 90 family members killed in the Holocaust, my family name has basically died off as many others have due to the genocide of our families. It's despicable that American white guy edge-lords take something as horrible as the Nazi platform and glorify it knowing how many people, including babies, were experimented on/raped/died for fucks sake. My own ancestor became infertile after being raped countless times as a sex slave to the Nazis. My other ancestor was shot and killed by Nazis in front of his wife, children and his other relatives. There are plenty of stories of executions and experimentation that will show how heartless and disturbed your bf is.
I'd say that there's a chance that your bf is legitimately retarded if this was a new thing but I have to say that if he's been into Nazi shit for a while, then he's probably aware of all of this and just a sick fuck.
In my opinion you've already "lost" him but that is fucking GREAT. Good you know now rather than having to find out after you're married with a kid. Break up with him as soon as possible and then out him across social media. Cowards like him deserve to be exposed and harassed.
I mean I don't really think that in 2019 self-identifying as a Nazi = just hating jews. They hate everyone non-white. Most of their hatred seems to be on blacks and arabs now
But I literally cannot believe that anon is considering staying with a fucking nazi lmfao
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anyone from the kebabland? we have a local election at the moment and the istanbul voting has been stuck at 98% for the last one hour for some fucking reason
I've completely grown out of anime and see it for the huge pile of shit it really is. I wish I never wasted so much time on it when I was younger and read good literature instead. I could rant about how stupid it all is.>>393398
Yeah me too bitch
lmao anon if you 'grew out of anime' it's because you matured, it's not as if you were going to read "good literature" instead. you were
Have you tried talking to her about some of this ? Of course it's not your responsibility to put up with her and you'd be justified in cutting contact if she's that obnoxious, but maybe she's really just not aware. I think the internet and some specific communities encourage this sense of entitlement she seems to have, so maybe she's let them get to her head.
It's worth trying to have a chat about it if she's someone you otherwise care about, at least.
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I've been dating this girl for five years. She was perfect for me. She promised me we will run away from this shitty city together. She promised me she would love me forever. She was truly my soulmate. She was the only person I've ever felt comfortable with. I couldn't see my life without her. We had so much fun and so many plans for our future. Together. We planned to have lots of pets and spent a lot of time thinking of names for them. For the first time in my life I actually wanted a family. With her. I wanted to raise a child wih her. I love her more than anything in the world. She's my reason for living. I thought that maybe one day I could finally be happy with her. I couldn't imagine my future without her. At all.
I'm also severely mentally ill. On new years I've had a severe psychotic breakdown which ended in me attempting suicide. She saved my life. She called my mother who called the ambulance.
Ever since then she wasn't the same. She avoids me, tries to spend most of her time with other people. She changes the topic when I talk about love or future. Tries to spend as little time with me as possible. Yesterday I asked her if she even needs me anymore or if I'm just dragging her down with my horrible mental health and relying on her so much. She told me that she doesn't want to lose me, but that she doesn't love me anymore.
I knew it would happen eventually. Nobody could ever love me with how horrible and broken of a person I am. I haven't stop crying really since that breakdown in january, since she started treating me coldly. I knew already. For three months I was more miserable than I have ever been. And then she just confirmed it. And I wish she didn't. I wish I still had hope that it's just a phase, that I haven't lost her.
I don't know what to do anymore. It's all my fault. I lost the only person who meant anything to me and she meant the world. The only thing I see in the future without her is more suicide attempts and eventually a success. I love her so much I don't see myself without her. I don't want to live in the world where she doesn't love me back. But I can't do anything now, can't I? I fucked it up. I fucked it all up.
And it's really fine. She deserves better than me anyways. Someone who's not that ill, at least. I hope the future holds all the best for her. My own future has disappeared with her. And I don't blame her. How could I. It's my fault for being so sick. It's my fault for relying on her so much. It's my fault for obsessing so much about her, for making her my reason to live, my everything. Now I don't have anything and I just lay in bed and cry. I don't even have the will to fucking slit my wrists finally because I hope against hope that she will come back that she will save me once again. Because I know that even if she doesn't love me anymore, my death would hurt her very bad.
God. I'm just… useless.
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I wish I had female friends to teach me how to do make up and dress me up and cosplay with uwu
It’s hard being 6’3 and finding women’s clothing that fits(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
She knew about my illness and wanted to help me. I guess… it changed over the years.
I'm medicated and recently went through a change in meds and the new ones did not quite kick in yet. If they're going to ever kick in. I also have a therapist, but I honestly feel worse after visiting the one assigned to me for free and I can't shop around for another one since dirt-poor.
I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder and would likely be diagnosed with schizophrenia after this round of treatment.>>393791
I'm getting all the help I can get, but thank you. My mom is really shitty about my mental health, but at this point I have nobody else in my life at all.
Maybe you work/live/study somewhere with an abnormally toxic
social norm? They sound like total shitlords, you'll need to find where the chilled out women are hiding. Some places really do just have toxic
culture though, like some places I've worked attracted the worst kind of people.
You have to be self aware to avoid those people wasting your friendmaking energy though. Could you yourself be a little bit bitchy or even a pushover?
Came here to say this. lcf has never really been funny with any of the jokes they pull or the thread backgrounds they do sometimes. none of the banners are funny either and those are usually usermade lmao
tfw was banned for sarcasm yesterday and now theyre doing this
I think this has happened to a lot of anons honestly. Myself included.
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I let myself down again. I wanted to go to a concert in a few weeks alone but I realized that I don't have the guts to go through with it because of my social/generalized anxiety. I already bought the tickets a few months ago, nothing expensive but it's not about the money. It's not that I'm scared to be in the crowd alone, I'm only scared about being in line alone even if it's for a bit. It just seems so lonely and awkward and my anxiety gets ten times worse when people are behind me in a line.
No matter how many times I keep telling myself that no one gives a shit about me being there alone, my anxiety won't stop putting me down. I even thought about arriving later so I wouldn't have to be in line for long but I'm still having doubts for some reason. I keep giving myself pep talks saying life's too short, it's not a big deal, I'm never going to see those people again, no one's judging, etc. me but my brain won't stop. The only thing that diminishes my anxiety is weed and I currently don't have access to it, nor is it legal in my state yet and I know that I would be able to function like a normal person and go if I had some.
I'm sick of hiding in my house, not being able to do the things I want to. I don't even care to see the band that badly but it pisses me off and makes me sad that I'm losing to my illness. I'm a clown at this point.
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Coming to the dreadful realization that if my life does not change drastically within the next decade i’m going to end up trapped as the caregiver for my aging parents and sister on SSDI.
I don’t want this. How the fuck do I get out before it’s too late.
Do you do drugs or drink? Take medication? Maybe you have a gas leak.
Other than those, that is terrifying. Can you let someone know/check building security cameras?
I don't drink or do drugs and the only medication I take is birth control
We don't have gas hookup in our building, only electric power, but why would a gas leak be causing this
This has been going on for about a week now that I've been suspecting something is going on
And I'm afraid to say anything to the building because it would have to be an employee coming in. So I dont want to say anything to them yet if I don't have proof. They also don't have security cameras in the hallways that lead directly to the apartments unfortunately
I agree with the other anons this could be amnesia or a stalker, both are serious. Check for a carbon monoxide detector in your apartment and change the battery. If you can't find one get one when you buy the security camera. You can find some that run on batteries for around $20 USD at home improvement stores. CO poisoning can cause amnesia symptoms and I think buildup can be caused by things other than gas leaks like space heaters and stuff.
Be careful anon. Hide the camera well and maybe come home with a friend or a coworker just in case, or get on the phone with your mom before you enter the building. If you notice anything really bizarre write it down with the date and time.
I'm not trying to scare you - you could just be misplacing things - but it's also better safe than sorry.
I dont even have a gas hookup in my building so I dont know how that could be happening and also i'm completely fine except things in my apartment going missing. like at work i'm completely fine
and also I feel like my dog would be showing signs of sickness or would have died
I have a CO detector
I don't have anything like space heaters and I've had the AC on for the past week
I just went to the doctor for my annual physical about a week ago and everything was normal
so I guess I will go get a security camera tomorrow or maybe im just going crazy
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>mfw ill never be a guy
i honestly think i'm more jealous of men than i am attracted to them. i can't even enjoy being sexual with them because i'm just so stupidly envious that i can't be them and i end up getting turned off by it and accidentally making my bf feel bad. i hate it. it doesn't help that all of the men i know have better lives than me, better families, have had way better opportunities, etc.
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>been friends with guy for years
>give him money and shit when he needs it, he always pays me back
>practically his sugar mommy at some point
>all i expect is for him to do the bare minimum and be my friend, see a movie once in a while
>he ditches me everytime he gets a girlfriend
>gets new girlfriend on europe trip
>haven't seen him in literally over 3 months despite attempts to make plans
>randomly asks me to lend him money
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Well, sooner or later every mommy (including the sugar one) has to kick her boy out, especially if they both start having less & less in common:>everytime he gets a girlfriend>gets new girlfriend>europe trip
Seems like he doesn't know or would deny this as a part of your "sugar mommy" deal:>all i expect is for him to do…>>394271>better families
Oh, c'mon, pussy - we don't choose our families. So focus on changing for the better what you can, i.e. your own life, despite men could have>way better opportunities
P.S. I noticed there're many unhappy kitty-pics in this thread, so I post a happy one with two best friends ;)
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I spoke to my mother about being depressed and suicidal. We were never open with each other and I used to hide things from her even when I was a kid. I knew she cared too much about her own problems and didn't want to add to them.
Today I spilled the beans. I think I might have cried for an hour with her by my side. I told her everything. How I much hate myself, how worthless and stupid I am, how I want to die more than anything, how nothing makes sense and nothing is worth it… And she listened. She offered help with finding and paying for a psychiatrist. She hugged me rather awkwardly and pat at my back and head.
Maybe. Just maybe. She actually cared all this time?
I'll probably be commiting myself to a psych ward soon and be put on suicide watch.
mfw when I'm 24 and completely reliant on my mother for food, shelter and money and now apparently I rely on her emotionally too.
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Yesterday I had another philosophy class in my uni, second semester and we all sit around one big table.
Teacher started talking about current gender roles and prepared old american posters etc.
I feel like 90% of my class is detached from the reality or stuck in anti-SJW times, using expressions like "forced diversity" or how "nowadays women in media cannot be femine and strong, but instead they have masculine traits"??
One girl mentioned how she made post on twitter during pride month about being proud with being straight and how people got mad at her.
There was also another girl talking how "nowadays people want all women to choose career and what if she prefers to stay at home?".
I expected better from an art school.
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i've had a lot of major life changes (for the better) lately & it's a good thing overall but dealing with the stress has been a lot to handle. i've had to take a bunch of time off work just to cope, which luckily i can get away with. it's finally starting to settle down but it just sucks that it ever was that bad.
He is garbage, I have no sympathy for someone who always acts like a victim
while doing provocative borderline altright stuff and weaponizing his dumb teenager fans.
I have gone on about this in his thread, I def agree with you but I still watch his videos from time to time when bored until a video rustles my jimmies and I stop for a while, this is one of them kek. he's so short sighted it's annoying
let's not even start on his fans.
i'm sick of everything in life having been politicized. i hate that i can't express an honest feeling or thought without being seen as belonging to one side or the other. i hate that everyone thinks in black or white, nothing gray, that art or music or writing made a hundred years ago will be judged by the standards of current year and generally found wanting in some way, whether it's sexist or racist or whatever. i miss the days when my friends and i would talk to each other without worrying that we might say something that would force one of us to be excluded. i don't fit anywhere. even my parents act like these weird puppets who spout talking points they heard on the news. they change their opinions whenever they're told. they'll exclude their friends, too. they're married but they're terrified they might not have the same thoughts or the right thoughts. it's depressing.
i used to have some hope that as time went on i would find other people who felt like i do, but i don't know. i'm tired of everyone being angry all the time like it's fashionable. when i see people like that it looks fake, like they're performing for someone. it's creepy. i don't have anyone in my life who doesn't love getting hateful or pissed off at someone else for having supposedly problematic ideas. apparently, the world is awful, filled with shallow, hateful people. i remember a different time though, and people were different, even five years ago. i've got no one like me to talk to. this should be the best time of my life and instead i'm alienated. i believe the world i live in is actually a good place. but everyone i know gets off on hating so much that they can't even make real friendships anymore. everyone is alone. they spout ideology in place of really caring. i'm not going to fake anger i don't feel. so i guess i get to be alone too.
Anon I was JUST digging up the thread to vent about this exact fucking thing. Everything has to be made into a political stand, every opinion has to be associated with a political movement instead of a honest personal thought, people are picking everything apart looking for things to find problematic
, you're expected to be a hateful piece of shit all the time. I can't browse my social media feed because it pisses me off to see people wasting their time on ridiculous slacktivist hot takes that never made a positive difference. I've stopped interacting with people because one wrong opinion, no matter how well founded it is, or even using unintentionally "bigoted" language gets you on some sort of a blocklist and isolated from your peers.
It's exhausting and I don't know how people willingly want to live like this. It's one thing to acknowledge political hot spots and have an opinion them without pretending like the problem doesn't exist, but when people can't shut their stupid mouths about it and are only talking about it for clout.. that's when it becomes annoying, unhealthy, depressing and serving of no purpose. Who the fuck saved a world on a reserve of passive aggressive clapback tweets?
i agree with your whole sentiment but trump has literally nothing to do with Nazis. not only ideologically, but he is nowhere near as much of a danger as them, it's like comparing having flu in 2019 and the black plague in the 1300's.
conflating the two isn't only laughable and retarded, and something an uneducated American would do, it's harmful because it removes the weight of actual Nazism, which some people ARE even today, and discredits anyone who speaks out about actual Nazis who are actually fucking dangerous and violent.
anyway anon with the nazi boyfriend, beware and get away before it gets grim.
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stuff like this legitimately repulses me. people being romantic and trying to be "cute" at each other in public grosses me out. i don't even want it for myself. yet in fiction, i love stupid romance tropes and plotlines. i don't get it.
this is how i feel about men who claim their mother or ex-girlfriend abused them. they're not all lying, obviously. women are capable of abusing men, i realize that.
it's just every man who's ever told me this HAS been lying, and has turned out to be talking about his ex-girlfriend not wanting to do anal, or his mother telling him to keep his room clean. and i'm not talking 1 or 2 men here, i know at least 7 men on and offline who have said they were abused and actually just meant shit like this.
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i know the combo of my meds and school workload have started to make me loose weight in a unhealthy way but honestly I have always been unhappy with my ( typically normal leaning overweight body and my codependent relationship with food ( even a full blown 500 cal a day eating disorder in high school) so im letting this happen and not telling my girlfriend or anybody frankly and seeing if i can actually get to a weight im happy with. and i know its fucked but ive never been in the 130-120 pound range and its just out of my reach
Plenty of people need to have breathing assistance equipment, plenty of people need to take medication to help their immune systems function normally, plenty of people need blood or plasma donations, plenty of people need to take vitamins or supplements to reach normal levels of nutrition.
Those people are mutants or incomplete, except to jehovas witnesses.
Take your medicine anon.>>394852>>394828
You're adults and I'm not going to get into your EDs because you both know you aren't going to listen to an anon online, but please remember that calorie deficit (and obsessing about it) impacts on your ability to learn. Why are you both in university?
If you want to graduate with any meaningful grade or even to persue a career, reach out to a friend or family if you can and/or see if your schools have counseling support. You got this far to get into higher education, don't let this illness take that away from you.
anon with ED & Boyfriend - this is something I think about constantly. I think about how my brain doesn’t function right because I’m so stupid that I can’t even eat right. I’ve always done very well in school and I’ve excelled through my degree (graduating a year early). but I’m so fucking slow and it takes me forever to think of a decent cogent point in class or can’t remember things I read even minutes ago. I picked a business degree with an additional business minor bc my school requires it and it’s really hard to get through the day. You’re totally right when you make the point that it’s hard to get through university with an ED because you literally can’t think. I feel awful all the time because of it because I feel like my brain is just wasting away but my body remains the same.
I used to go to the school nutritionist but she was a person who was obviously not over her eating disorder and it really showed in the way she treated me. I also went to the school therapist and fell off it because I couldn’t be assed to make consistent appointments. It’s absolutely pathetic and just sheer laziness. I have no excuses. I really need to get my shit together because you can’t be starving yourself in an office all day.
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I just had my period for 5 days straight. It was horrible. Felt like shit every day. Now 5 days after it ended, I am spotting again with cramping. What the fuck?????????
Ketofag here. You can eat low carb vegetables on keto. In fact, the brunt of the carbs you are supposed to have (20-50g) should be veggies.>>394944
You're supposed to have high fat on low carb diets. Fatty foods aren't the enemy on keto, as you're burning fat instead of glucose, unless it's saturated/trans fats.
Yep, you're right. >>394944
The laws of thermodynamics are never going to change, it's calories in and calories out but keto basically forces the body to burn fat after it's depleted of sugar so it works, and it can help because high fat meals keep some cravings away.
But it can also lead to some serious carb cravings in others.
Same here anon
its because we're so easy to talk to. people tell me shit without me asking and think I'm not judging them. I won't judge them outwardly but I will go on lolcow and throw judgment.
>>394952>You can eat low carb vegetables on keto. In fact, the brunt of the carbs you are supposed to have (20-50g) should be veggies.
I actually eat more vegetables on keto. I always have a portion of low carb vegetables with a meal. I even eat vegetables that I didn't before because everything is so much more appetising when it's dripping with butter.>>394960
Red meat is a really rich source of essential amino acids and micronutrients like B12. It's especially good for women because red meat also contains a lot of iron.
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I got put on Wellbutrin for depression and I was a little excited that one of the side effects is appetite loss because I am a fucking PIG and can barely control myself when it comes to junk food. And I eat super fast too, so something like a bag of chips or giant chocolate bar will disappear in an instant because I eat like I'm a starving prisoner who just got out of a fucking gulag or something. Somehow it evens out so I'm only skinnyfat and not obese lol but I still dislike my body and want to lose some weight but I always sabotage myself by pigging out on sugary processed garbage.
I was reading some experiences of people who had been on the drug and one person said that after taking it, they became very sensitive to sugar and anything mildly sweet tasted nasty to them. I was really hoping that would happen to me, because Lord knows I fucking need it.
It's been a couple months and it's been working pretty well for my depression, actually. It's no miracle cure and the progress is slow but I've still felt better than I have in a long time. Unfortunately it didn't do anything to curb my appetite. I ate an entire pint of ice cream in less than 15 minutes earlier today and now I just had a fuckload of Nutella. The only reason I stopped is because Nutella is super rich and after a small amount it makes me want to puke, but I still want to eat more. I seriously considered getting a bag of chips from the kitchen even though I feel gross and bloated. What the actual fuck is wrong with me? I guess I shouldn't expected the drug to do much since side effects affect every individual differently but damn, I was really hoping it would curb my inner fatty.
Less about the weight gain and more about the general horrible nature of seroquel. There's other alternatives, latuda is one of them. Seroquel worked for me in the short term (about a month) but the doctor's kept uping the doses and my entire family noticed the difference. I was literally a zombie. Horrible brain fog, tremors, etc. Read up more on the history of seroquel and the lobbying done to keep it in circulation. There's a reason why the put everyone on it and it is not in the patient's interest.
I was diagnosed with BP-2 and this was just one of the many drugs they put me on. I am now 4 years med-free after 5 years of falling for for the MAT meme.
It's hard to know where your problems end and where they begin when medication is involved. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4653966/
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My husband compulsively wipes his ass until it bleeds, going through a quarter-to-one half of a toilet paper roll per poop. I have to buy a 12-pack of toilet paper every week. Currently we live in an apartment, so not worried about the septic, but once we have our own place this is surely going to become more of an issue.
I have even tried to encourage him to use wet wipes, but it just results in him using more of those to supplement the TP.
Wtf do I do?
Seeing the backlash on the r/BlackPeopleTwitter April Fool's prank disturbs me.
Some people are ready to devolve to racial abuse and full-on white supremacy over literally anything. What would they have done if it stayed closed for a week? Plan to shoot up Reddit's headquarters (for allowing it to happen) while quoting Martin Luther King Jr. and wearing KKK hoods?
I know Reddit was always a cesspool, but jesus christ. Why is it that the internet (and society as a whole) is so thick with racial tension?
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Every spring and summer where I live smells like semen. Fuck whoever thought it was a good idea to plant photinia and callery trees in every public space.
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super depressed. was going to spend time with my best friend who lives in a different state next week. super looking forward to it because everything else has been shit the past months. cancelled because university is too stressful. next chance to meet is in 3 months. fml.
It was a bit of a meme on tumbleweed in 2015-16.
…I still think it's goofy.
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I used to live in an area with bradford pear trees and they were literally nicknamed the cum trees because of how they smelled when the flowers bloomed during spring, I know your pain anon
And people look at me crazy when I say pollen smells like cum.
Also sneezes sometimes.
And certain tomatoes.
Thank you, anon. I'm being increased to 100mg to start with, so a low dose atm. I'm unsure as to what the hell my psych is even thinking tbh, 100mg isn't really a therapeutic dose for anything that he suspects I suffer with. I honestly despise all these hoops I have to jump through just to get some fucking therapy. It's driving me insane.>>395041
Yeah, I suspect I have BP-2 but haven't discussed a diagnosis with doctors yet. I feel pretty conflicted as the psych who prescribed me them was very pro-medicine (which I'm not, even though I'm a medfag) and discussed therapy as if it were secondary to meds… Which I found bizarre. The SSRIs I tried stopped working for me, but the NHS essentially won't provide therapy without being medicated/stable for a couple of months first, it's frustrating. CBT is probably the only thing that's going to help me long-term and they're dangling it in front of me like a carrot on a stick.
I did something fucking awful, so so stupid, and terribly out of character due to my constant drinking and overall just not taking care of my mental health. Now my boyfriend of almost 2 years fucking hates me, and rightfully so.
In the past few months there were a couple times where I had entertained the idea of selling some topless photos to someone who inquired and had previously sent me some money before on like my birthday and once when i made a public post asking for help so i had enough money to get to work amd eat for the week. And recently i actually did it.
I really honest to God cannot think of another reason why I would do this other than the fact that my judgment has been severely skewed recently, I lost sight of everything that actually mattered. I was spending way too much money on stupid shit loke alcohol and expensive food i rarely ever eat or finish. And my dumb ass thought of it as just a quick and easy way to make money so that i could still spend money like a selfish asshole and still be able to pay my portion of our bills, rent, food, stuff for the cat, household stuff etc. So i didnt even NEED the money.
I didnt enjoy doing it, i really did not. But i temporarily felt good when i had that extra $$ so i can go buy a fucking $20 lunch that ill end up taking 2 bites of and a pint of vodka.
I'm so damn stupid. The thought didnt occur to me until after my bf said it, but i didnt even think to just send some pictures of some random person, since he didnt even require that my face be in them.
Anyway, this really jolted me back into reality, and it really sucks that it had to get this bad and come to this for that to happen.
Ive never felt so ashamed and worthless and disgusting in my life. I dont think I'll ever forgive myself. I dont even feel like a person anymore. I feel like the physical embodiment of everything my boyfriend said about me in retaliation.
I would have never in a million years thought he would say the things he said to me or do the things he did. I dont want to get into it though because i really do not want anyone to demonize him when i caused all of this to begin with. Ill just say that anything he physically did to me was nothing to me compared to the things that were said to and about me. It was all fucked up but i still feel like i deserve it. I dont feel sorry for myself, i keep telling myself 'you made your bed, now fucking lie in it'. I would let it all go un a heartbeat for another chance.
I got so caught up in my own bullshit that i severely hurt the person closest to me, and now i lost the best thing i ever had- one of the very few things that genuinely made me feel happy and loved. All because i wanted to fuck around, escape reality with alcohol and try to live in lala land which ultimately lead me to make the biggest mistake of my life.
I feel so hopeless, the damage done seems completely irreparable. He wants nothing to do with me anymore, will never see me the same way again and there's nothing i can do about it. I dont even have any desire to get help and better myself and move on with my life if he's no longer be a part of it. I know that's not a healthy mentality, but thats just where my head is at and staying at at the moment.
I know this is kind of stupid to wish for but i wish i could just post selfies but im too insecure and hate how i look in photos.
I also wish to have an art insta but i don't have much time to draw anymore
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I wish my parents would get a divorce or go to counselling or SOMETHING. They're incompatible - my mother is extremely passive aggressive and can't communicate for shit, doesn't matter how patient you are and she tries to resort to victimizing herself whenever faced with any sort of criticism and my father, while he is a good man, he's a bit of a man child when he doesn't need to be and somewhat lazy.
I'm so tired of them constantly fighting and basically having to take care of both of them, it's like I have to live with a bunch of fucking children and I'm SO tired of it. Wish I could move out already.
I feel you anon although for my parents, my mom is a doormat and my dad has been emotionally abusive
toward her and has cheated on her multiple times. Mom refuses to seek therapy because she doesn't think it will help and that a therapist would just tell her to divorce. I sometimes end up having to deal with their bullshit especially my dad's tantrums. It's emotionally draining.
that's right. though saying he's a trump supporting nazi is as relevant as saying he's a jaywalking nazi or a nazi who spits chewed gum on the pavement, what's worrying is the actual nazism.
i'm quite afraid of people being liberal instead of wary w political terminology, the ones benefitting from it are the actual crazy genocidal types because speaking out on them loses credibility and people are desensitised to the label.
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Every time I get home from work and I'm around my mom I end up in the world's foulest mood. I feel perfectly fine at work, a little annoyed and sometimes stressed if its busy but never mad like I am at home around my mom. I'm fine around my dad and brothers most of the time, but my mom just makes me feel so stressed. She doesn't even have to say anything she could just be around me and I end up feeling so stressed out. I just turned 20 and have every reason in the world not to move out yet as it would be financial suicide considering I only made barely $12k last year at my shit paying minimum wage retail job, but right now my mom is the only reason I would move out.
The older I get the less I can tolerate from her. She feels like another sibling rather than a parent. My dad's had to take on both parental roles since I was a kid. He says stuff like, "I'm not gonna deal with her shit after retirement, I can't" but my mom loves to joke about how she gets half if he divorces her and shit like that. I feel bad for both of them because they could be out there dating and finding someone that actually makes them happy instead of going at each other all the time, I feel worse for my dad though. My mom gets worse with age and the thought of him having to put up with her shitty behavior for the rest of his life is depressing. I don't even think I could do that, I feel bad for it but I feel so much less stressed whenever I think about cutting down contact with her to a minimum.
I genuinely hope they divorce once everyone's out of the house, it would make me so happy to see my dad be able to retire and grow old with someone who he actually wanted to be around. It would make me happy if my mom found someone to do the same thing with too. They'd both be so much happier in the long run.
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Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to join the military. I had put it off because I had no transportation to see a recruiter when younger. As time passed, I was eventually diagnosed with depression due to a hospitalization from suicidal thoughts. I waited until a year had passed since my last refill on my depression medication and finally got the courage to talk to a recruiter today. Unfortunately, there's no waiver for suicidal thoughts. It hurts to know I'll have to struggle with a minimum wage job for a while in order to scrounge up the funds to go to college (finished community), but it is what it is. I'm proud of myself for having made it this far: not needing a therapist, scrounging the money to go to the gym, started eating properly (recovered from ana, and am in the process of recovering from bulimia), and only have short depressive episodes every once and a while I know how to manage now. When suicidal thoughts happen, I'm able to bounce back; and I haven't had a panic attack since my hospital visit. I've come so far, it's just a shame I have no one to tell it to. I lost a loved one this year, lost my closest friend, and have been alone for so long. I'm crying as I type this, and I haven't had a cry in years. I experience few emotions, but today I'm healing. It's a shame I can't follow my childhood dream, but at least a burden has been lifted in knowing I have one less option and can focus on something else.
I wanted to join to "prove" myself. The military can be physically and mentally demanding. Almost all of the men in my family were in the service. My great-grandfather on my mom's side served in WW2. My mother's dad and her older brothers served too. My 1st, 2nd, and 3rd great grandfathers on on my dad's side were all army colonels. My dad was in the navy, as was his dad.
Almost every woman in my family is a housewife and has no formal education. I was the first to go to college. The women in my family get walked on and abused by the men, both physically and mentally. I watched my mother get slammed into a wall, not allowed to leave the house. My grandma had cigarettes burned into her hand by her husband.
My father told me when I was a child women were "only good for cleaning and fucking," he gave me bizarre punishments related to female gender roles. My great uncle (also army) told me I'd never make it as a woman welder, and that me doing my job was insulting (he was a welder).
I just wanted to be stronger than all of them.
My partner and I just fought because I asked to hang out with my friend for another day. I stayed at hers and came home, still spent time with him, cleaned the house and he still cracked the shits. She wanted me to go out THAT night but I thought I'd be pushing my luck so I stayed home with him and asked if I coukd hang the next night and he made me feel fucking terrible.
It's bullshit because when I do stay home he plays games on the pc. I had come home early the day before because I was worriedI was away too long and gave me a spiel about how it's okay and I don't need to do that, I should do what I want and have fun and then cracks the shits.
I try so hard to walk on egg shells. Anyway we fought and it got heated, he ended up calling me a cunt, which he apologised profusely for and now said he wants me to go out and have fun and he's truly regretful, he'll even drive me to my friend's place ect…but the fight made me so exhausted I don't even wanna go.
He never normally insults me and I believe he's a good person, but I also am trying to be subjective and am wondering how much is too much time spent at a girlfriend's place and I just don't know anymore.
We've been together 6 years. I am starting to make a lot of new female friends and am really enjoying it.
I even said to him I will cancel plans if he'd rather hang out or had plans, just ASK me but instead it ends in an exhausting fight like this and now he's admitted he's wrong and what he said was controlling BUT it's like dude I don't even wanna go out now, you've ruined it!
We don't have kids, we have pets which I drop in and make sure are fed and watered. Am I being a neglectful girlfriend?
How long out with friends is too long?
And to clarify making sure they are fed and watered sounds so basic but it's a lot more than that, I will play with the dog and stay home for quite a long time.
My friend thinks he's being a dick, but she is also bias and doesn't like to see me hurt and hates men, plus I tried to explain when I vent to her it's bias as fuck and I'm probably being unreasonable.
I know that they still wouldn't respect me if I did it, but it would be my personal accomplishment; mine to hold on to anytime they gaslight or try to harm me. If I was able to military, I'd be stationed and able to get away from them. Since most of my expenses and insurance would be covered; I'd have money saved up from paychecks I never spend to move somewhere and never see them again once out. Military pays for your college too. It really sucks I'm going to have to struggle financially just to barely make it. I was making $300 after taxes a week, and I was paying $7 in gas every day because of how distant my job was. My insurance for my car, at absolute basic is $400 every 6 months. I just had to pay $500 to get lab work done. I can't afford anything, let alone college. I have no idea what to do, I don't qualify for any government assistance. I'm so fucked.>>395461
Unfortunately, I don't have the time nor the money. Med school is 4+ years of university, not counting apprenticeship, before you'll even be considered for a decent paying job. I need to be able to reasonably take care of myself before then.
>>395463>I try so hard to walk on egg shells
This statement is very telling and specific. It sounds like you're a codependent dealing with a narcissist. You are constantly making compromises that your partner is taking for granted and not only failing to return equal compromise, but also degrading you for not doing enough. If you go with your friend, you are punished, if you chose to stay with him, you are also punished. This lose-lose scenario is a way for him to feel some sort of comfort from his anxiety; he wants to be in control of you. Picking fights with you and "cracking shits" aka negging you (negative talk to manipulate how you feel to draw you closer; see stockholm syndrome) is a way for him to boost his frail ego. Narcs get a high from your reaction. The only proper way to respond if you are in a game that's rigged to lose, is to not play. It will only get worse, and the apologies are only meant to draw you closer so he can break you again. It's cat-and-mouse for him. It may not be intentional, but he has issues only a professional can help him deal with. I have a feeling if you tell him this, he'd snap at you an accuse you of being the one with the problem, a cunt, etc… My father was a control freak who would never let me or my mother see our friends. He'd apologize, only to continue his behavior a few days later. Get out while you can.
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im so ugly i dont even feel female
i cant even go out in public without feeling ashamed and embarassed
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I'm so done with the mukbang and asmr community. I don't really watch it, especially since I hate eating sounds but occasionally I do see those videos being recommended to me, and I notice their thumbnails get more and more provocative and repulsive with each time.
Some people literally do anything for money and attention. I now see people eating raw liver and all kinds of insects and shit and I don't wanna see that when I go on yt ffs.
I recently found out that some Korean woman ate a pig's head and she mentioned that it's a favorite among Koreans or something so the Korean viewers were pissed cause it must've looked barbaric af. She deleted the video so I only saw the thumbnail somewhere I think.
She made an apology video but her live octopus eating videos are still up. And those kind of videos get so many views but i don't know why anyone would wanna see that; it's fucking disgusting.
The only explanation is that it's a fetish thing. Asmr is supposed to be pleasant and all but these attention whores ruin everything and don't know when it's enough.
YouTube seriously needs a feature that enables you to block certain content.
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This isn’t even really venting but doesn’t fit anywhere.
I just had sex with my husband and randomly kinda flashed back to my rape last September and it’s strange because after the rape I just felt so weird and numb and disconnected from it like it didn’t even happen to me and I didn’t really care about it, and just continued my life like usual, but then yeah, suddenly here I am crying pretty hard remembering it because the position was one the rapist did to me (even though I have done that position since and been fine) and just felt this weird rush of raw emotion and depression. So yeah, that’s it.
I am sorry to hear about that. I think I know what you are describing, I have felt this way before, too. As you said you've compartmentalized what happened to you, perhaps it is actually a positive thing for your body to process this. Especially since it's with your husband in a situation you have control over, where as before you did not have any control.
It's a horrible thing to have to relive, but perhaps it is a bit therapeutic actually. I hope your husband comforted you afterwards.
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At 2:00am last night, I was woken up by my husband screaming and pounding his desk in an Overwatch match. We had gone to bed together and I was very confused as to why he had woken up and decided to go on the computer. He had never done anything like that before in the 5 years I've known him. I called out his name, and that apparently angered him, he screamed back at me and told me to shut up. Now, he can get very angry playing these games, but I was like wtf? And went back to sleep. I was woken up about 5 minutes later by him screaming again. His mouse had died or whatever. We had known the battery had been low for a few days, but I had two batteries in the kitchen drawer so I wasn't in a rush to get them. He started then screaming at me (even though I was presumably asleep) calling me a bitch and how much he hated me. How he had told to get me the batteries and I disrespected him by not getting them. I got up from bed and went to the drawer and got him a battery. I put it down on the desk. He couldn't tell which one was the new battery and got frustrated, screamed at me again, and couldn't get the back off of the mouse so he began picking at it with a pen. The back flew off and he couldn't find it. This sent him into a rage and he started screaming and throwing shit around on his desk.
I was still in bed and at this point I was getting very upset. I screamed "What is wrong with you??", which never makes things better, he started throwing shit at me. I got up to come help him and he just sat down in his chair while I crawled around on the ground looking for this stupid mouse piece. I don't remember what I said but it made him spring up from the chair and grab me. He gripped me firmly and muttered just the craziest shit about hating me and how he was going to kill me, and then more garbage about not being able to find the back of the mouse and how disrespectful I was not getting him his batteries.
He ended up finding the piece on his keyboard and I went back into bed. He got his jeans on and went to go sit in the car.
I didn't text or call him, but then he started messaging me saying "I hate when you make me feel this way" and "I feel sick now"
At about 3:00 he came back upstairs from the garage and apologized to me. I accepted the apology. He also apologized this morning but I am still in an absolutely rotten mood from last night.
I know my situation is fucked. Just screaming into the void.
You know what we're gonna say and what is the right answer: leave him.
Get the kids, get your things and leave him right now. This is a textbook example how domestic abuse starts.
Here anon, this is you in a few weeks: https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/bjepmz/fortnite-streamer-arrested-for-assault-after-allegedly-hitting-his-partner-during-twitch-stream
Seriously, leave him. What he has done is really not okay and shows that he is absolute human garbage. It is cringy and embarrassing, how can you have respect for someone like him? It is also very sad because of the way he treats you.
because even if it’s only a tiny amount of change it still counts, just like how it counts if someone’s only making a small mess. shit adds up >>395710
go back to reddit
I mean yes it's sad and humans are catalyzing our own demise but still species have always been going extinct nonstop since forever even before human impact so maybe that gives a little perspective. It's just part of life, adapt or die. Regardless, it's at least a 50/50 chance that humans will go extinct anyway just like any civilization before us. Or we'll evolve so much that biodiversity and hospital planets won't even be relevant lol
Personally, I believe this is just the cycle of the universe. Some even argue that civilizations are inherently self-destructive. So do what you can and chill about what you can't.
I know how you feel. There is a small number of us that try our best. Like there are small volunteer groups where we clean a small patch of land or help animals. Being among such like-minded people helps because you see there are selfless good people out there that are not doing it for attention.
But the amount of people that don't care is overwhelming and it gets tiring answering questions as to why even bother or whatever.
I'll be honest, I'm not doing all the things that I am for other people, it's seeing all the poor animals suffer, it's seeing all the magnificent tries dry and rot with air pollution.
I often cry when I see hurt animals or another construction site that soils a serene and peaceful patch of land. I know of which video you talk about and it's sickening. Unfortunately, most people will go back to their daily business and continue doing harmful things to nature.
>>395725>size of the cars
Oh my God don't even fucking get me started on that. This is the petty hill I will die
on, I fucking hate big SUVs and trucks that serve literally no fucking purpose.
that they need their gas-guzzling, space wasting SUV when 90% of the time they don't. I'm from the suburbs and the average family would be perfectly fine with only one larger car, I don't understand why every single person needs their own personal fucking yacht to drive around. Like okay, if a soccer mom wants her big car for her children, their sports gear, and her groceries, fine. But why does her husband need a big car just to commute to a fucking office? Why does their teenager need a big car just to drive to school? WHY WASTE SO MUCH MONEY ON GAS WHEN YOU DON'T NEED TO?!
Speaking of teens, it especially pisses me off when parents get their teenager a big SUV for their first car. Why the fuck does a 16-17 year old need a big ass Jeep with shit gas mileage, especially when they're new shitty drivers and don't even know how to maneuver a car that size? A sedan seats five people just like an SUV does, don't give me the "b-but I wanna drive my friends around!" excuse. My first car in high school was a mid to smaller sized sedan and I played a sport that required me to tote around a lot of bulky, large gear and I had no issues with my car.
Sorry for my absolute sperging but this really pisses me off as you can probably tell.
Man, I’m actually going through something similar except I’ve pretty much accepted that my ex isn’t coming back. Go no contact for your own sake. I know it’s tempting to but the more you contact him, the more you’ll drive him away and hurt your own recovery.
Also, If this was the second time he was leaving you, he wasnt that great of a partner anyways. If he loved you, he would stay and be there for you. Figuring himself out is just classic bullshit men use to get out of relationships because they think it will hurt their partners less than if they were direct about it.
My boyfriend's sister is gonna give birth in not too long and my boyfriend keeps saying that it's not a big deal, women give birth all the time, she chose it herself etc. whenever I ask if things are going well.
While I don't want kids myself and don't prefer to be around them, I would never be an asshole towards kids for being kids or mock a woman for wanting them, especially someone I care about. I thought my boyfriend was the same way, but I keep getting upset at the way he talks about his sister and her upcoming baby with mockery and how he's not even gonna go visit her at the hospital or even bother showing any interest in the baby until "it can talk like a normal person".
He and his sister are good friends and she seems to be okay with his attitude, but I hate listening to their phone conversations because she will talk about not getting to sleep or being in pain or being worried, and he will only make fun of her in return.
He's a very caring and nice person otherwise, so this hostility he has towards babies is such a big contrast to how he normally is it annoys me a great deal.
First time I noticed it was when we met a friend of mine last year who recently had a baby. I was happily holding and playing with the kid while my boyfriend stood nearby rolling his eyes at me, and afterwards mocked me for being too polite to say no to holding the baby when offered. I remember telling him that I was just happy for my friend and genuinely had fun , to which he scoffed and kept saying how annoying it was to listen to my "baby voice" and "play with the dumb thing".
He keeps bringing up arguments about overpopulation and shit like that as a way of explaining why I shouldn't show support of empathy towards a woman going through pregnancy. And normally I don't give a damn either, but overpopulation isn't gonna stop me from being happy about my friend excitedly showing me her baby, or wanting my boyfriend's sister to be alright.
Anti-natalists who hate babies or act disgusted by kids always piss me off. Overpopulation is worrisome but kids are great, idgi. It just comes off as edgy and dumb.
Have you confronted him about his irrational anger at infants lmao?
I would encourage you to do some research instead of getting stressed out about it. It's better to form you're own opinion based on information from multiple sources. Not all scientists agree on what it actually happening. Global warming being caused by green house gases is a theory not a confirmed reality. In the 70s scientists thought there would be another ice age by now. There are many factors that effect climate and while human activity is one of them, climate change can also be caused by natural events like volcano eruptions and sun spots.
I do agree completely that we need to protect the environment but there are much more pressing issues than something that may or may not be happening. Persistent organic pollutant clean up, plastic waste in the ocean and extinction caused by humans are all things you can help prevent by getting involved in local organisations.
cooking is considered a crafting skill in literally every video game. anyone still churning out content in fucking skyrim is a complete loser anyway.>>395808
volcanoes do the literal opposite of global warming. they cause cooling.
>>395808>The 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens vented approximately 10 million tons of CO2 into the atmosphere in only 9 hours. However, it currently takes humanity only 2.5 hours to put out the same amount.
So what the fuck are you talking about?
I feel the same anxiety about climate issues and it's hard to accept that people just don't care. But if you feel strongly about it the best thing you can do is give soft encouragement to everyone you know and lead as an example of how fulfilling environmental consciousness is. People mainly don't change their ways because they see it as either too much effort, time, or money. So what you can do is to frame eco-friendly choices as satisfying, easy or more cost efficient. Here's some suggestions for things I do:
-Make delicious vegetarian dishes for your friends and family and give them the recipes.
-Gift reusable items like cutlery sets, cloth napkins, shopping and produce bags, reusable k-cups/to-go mugs, water bottles, anything you know they use a lot.
-Set up a spot to hang dry your clothes. It's only takes 5-10min more than loading a tumble dryer and will cut down on energy bills. Offer to hang up your roommate/family's clothes a few times to demonstrate how easy it is. Make sure everyone's using cold water for washing too.
-Style yourself with second hand clothes and if anyone asks, tell them where you got it and even brag a little about the price. Another fun encouragement is to host a Naked Lady Party- everyone brings clothes they don't wear anymore, pile them in the middle of a room and everyone is free to try things on and take what they want.
-If you're creatively inclined, teach people to mend clothes. It can be therapeutic and it's easy to do while watching TV. It can be another stylish bragging point too.
The biggest thing is fuel emissions though and it's a tough one to convince people to kick. I was hoping Pokemon Go would lead to more apps that rewarded walking but unfortunately that hasn't happened. You can still encourage walking and public transport. Find a good podcast and tell people you listen to it on the bus or walking to the store. Maybe even invite your friends to do things via bus/train (obviously only applies if you have somewhat decent public transport). If possible set-up ridesharing for your workplace. You may not benefit from it yourself, but maybe other coworkers live close enough for it to work out.
But I have to stress, you kind of have to baby people and play the long game. Don't come off too strong too soon or retards will try to ridicule and discourage you. Anticipate arguments and know how to rebut, but be lighthearted in your responses. People who don't want to change are likely just making excuses to shut you up. And hopefully when you start seeing small changes around you, you'll feel less anxious about the future.
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These cookies at the CVS near my house had become my favorite snack, they were only $1.29 or so and very tasty! Now they are going out of stock and were on markdown for 37c but there was only 2 boxes left of the chocolate flavor and 7 of the vanilla so I bought both chocolates and 4 vanillas. I tried to look online for them, but the going rate is like $6 a box minimum! I am pretty sad that I won't be able to regularly eat these cookies any more.
I try to do this with my boyfriend because we live together but he just won't budge.>tried asking him if we could switch to eco powder detergent in a cardboard box instead of ariel pods>"No I like these they're really convenient">Please? It's way cheaper, lasts longer and is more eco friendly>"I know but I still like pods better because I'm a simple bachelor and not a hippie haha">ask him to try wooden toothbrushes>"no they're shit I want my plastic one">Let's try getting biodegradable bags for our vegetables at the store>"I'll just get a plastic one instead"
He thinks it's hilarious and wont stop asking me if I know that it doesn't make a difference. He also baby talks me and goes "awww she wants to save the pwanet!" as a joke while pinching my cheeks whenever I suggest something that doesn't involve plastic which just pisses me off more.
I totally agree with this anon. When attempting social change like this I think it's important to 'kill em' with kindness'. It is incredibly frustrating having people write you off and make fun of you but fighting fire with fire leads to more resistant from the people you're trying to change. Honestly reworking a throwaway consumerist culture is something that needs to be done from the ground up because large corporations will not change their ways as long as it makes them a profit.
Personally I agree with the fact that individual changes have a very negligible impact on the environment itself but it's an important step to initiate cultural change which can lead to government regulations that hold the main causes of this accountable.
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My friends are still friends with my ex, and now his new gf. He really treated me so badly, he joked about cheating on me, would say vague things just to make me worry, would lie to me about dumb things etc. It's really messing with my trust. I can't tell them that he nearly took advantage of me when he was drunk (I was young and wasn't at all ready for it), I'm not going to mention that because I have no way to prove it. I just feel so alone. I wouldn't find this such a big deal if he hadn't claimed to want me out of his life, but he keeps my friends? It's so wrong.
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I had an awful night tonight. I was talking to my boyfriend and he told me about a comment his mom made to him that insulted him and I at the same time. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it so personally but basically he was complaining about an obese woman being annoying at his work and his mom said "what're you going to do, date her?" This stung because I used to be formerly obese and have since lost 20 lbs. I can't believe how much this comment hurt me, considering how tbh I've never been a huge fan of his mom. I just took a bunch of laxatives, which I know is a (no pun intended) shitty thing to do to yourself but it's a bad habit I got into when I was first losing weight. God I feel so fucked up for doing that. Anyway yeah I just fucking hate how futile it feels when you've put in the work to turn your life around by losing a massive amount of weight and people still try to use how you formerly were against you. Sorry for being so depressing.
I'd say your bf's mom just can't resist an opportunity to be toxic
and belittle you and your partner's choice. This is unfortunately very common when parents don't like their kid's SO for any reason. Don't worry about it, some people might be mean no matter what you do. Other people see how you look NOW.
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I'd like to blame autism/add/neglectful upbringing but I'm just not a person that makes friends. I have nobody anymore except my mother. My siblings are autistic and very hard to bond with (but I love them), my father does not like me or care about me at all, and I'm genuinely ugly as well.
I'm not very lonely (I like to think), but how will I fare in life being this unlikable? I've grown out of suicidal ideation but seeing how I was never good in school… What future do I really have? I used to think I had friends but all of them abandoned me and the one I have left routinely ignores me and has attempted to use me for sex before.
He’s never going to change anon, he could be as dumb as a rock and that still wouldn’t excuse his behaviour. He’ll forever blame any slight issue that comes up on you and your past trauma - bonus points if he simultaneously accuses you of overreacting to your past abuse and even implies it wasn’t actually abuse.
You deserve to be with someone that’s empathetic, and I’m sorry but that’s clearly not your current boyfriend. It might be time to tell him to go fuck himself and move on tbh
I see a lot of "disability positivity" posts that are like "Tell your kids not to just stare, but to come and ask! We are happy to educate you! It's not rude, swear! In fact, just staring is rude. We understand that you're curious, so you might as well ask :)", so they probably think it's okay because of that.
I always thought "Uh….This sounds annoying and nosy, so nope" when I read those, lol.
As a wheelchair user I'm not mad or anything when kids or adults come up and ask about it, but it can get old. Particularly if I'm in a hurry and trying to get somewhere, but now I've gotta navigate a conversation with someone's ten year old without their parents getting offended that I'm brushing them off.
Plus it's usually the same conversation every time and it's new for them maybe, but not for me. There's only so many times you can say, "Yes, my legs don't work. No, I can't feel anything in them. No, I'd rather you didn't thump me on them even though I won't feel it, because I can still bruise."
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I really hate being new at my job
I feel like a retard and Im working with younger people who are both more charismatic and more knowledgeable about the job. I just want to cringe into the wall when I make mistake after mistake. I pay attention, I take notes, but it just feels like it's something I can't do.
Kind of how I felt at my old job anon. There were supervisors more qualified than me and like 3-5 years younger when I got there.
And when I tried to work my way up to supervisor, which I was actually promised for my hard work, my current department head was replaced by a sexist nutbag who ended up refusing to promote me and another girl closer to my age because we were women- instead promoting two seventeen year old boys who'd been there less than a year. Jesus christ.
In that case they definitely weren't qualified, before I quit I witnessed those two kids desperately try and fumble around the supervisory position and fail miserably at it. The least I could say of the supervisors who were younger than me beforehand, who'd quit to find better jobs, was that they'd actually worked their way up after being there for nearly 1.5-2 years, instead of being given their position for 0 reason.
I don't do it to lose weight, it's to get the body to clean itself, avoid old age brain problems and fix some digestive issues. Lot's of cultures practice it in some form once every year/season.
People that do it for weight loss miss the point and just gain the weight back anyway.
Yeah, I never drink tap water only filtered as I have a activated charcoal filter system.
Adding some electrolytes in too to keep hydrated.
if your body cant clean itself out naturally, you might have an issue with your organs.
the detox trend is bs.
this is pseudoscience, and why do other cultures matter? also>saying "dieting normies" and not feeling any shame or irony
there is nothing super special about your super cool unique anachan water only "detox diet".
neat. but research on autophagy in humans in sparse and only really proves that its helpful in people who have diseases of excess growth; cancer, obesity type 2 beetus, fatty liver disease, stuff like that.
the discovery and naming of autophagy isnt some catch all win for anachans to prove that their starvation diets are for the better. humans are designed to be able to live for extended periods of time without food but at the risk of breaking down organs and whatnot. a day of not eating and our body will break down amino acids and protein. just because you go into something thinking youre going to eliminate 'built up toxins' doesnt mean that will happen. thats why you have organs. and if they arent functioning well, you need to see a doctor for some testing.
again, autophagy information in humans shows that it helps with people with diseases. as far as cleaning the body out of its junk, we are designed to do that already.
I’m so pissed and stressed. I’m supposed to be working part time, like 12-16 days a month preferably. This month I’m working like 5 days a week, like 22 days this month or something like that. And on every weekend overtime, and FINALLY it’s my day off today and of COURSE one of my coworkers is whining about not feeling good and wants somebody to take his shift and none of the other people off today reply, and my supervisor messages me asking me if I can come in. I swear to got this ALWAYS happens on my FEW days off. It never happens the days I work, then suddenly I get a day off after working 5-6 days in a row and somebody needs their shift taken. Then I always feel guilty and like an asshole if I don’t take the shift and I can’t even enjoy my day off. It seems like nobody else will stay overtime or work on their day off it ends up being me 90% of the time, I’m like their only hope, so I feel bad if I turn them down.
I just wanna cry. I go to work when I’m feeling crappy, having horrible menstruation, these assholes call in ALL THE TIME. We literally get to pick days we absolutely cant work before the schedule is made and every time these people are always suddenly like “teehee I forgot I have a thing scheduled on the 18th, I can’t come in, somebody work for me” They’re late half the time, don’t even do their job well. Ugh.
Literally every week for the past 4 weeks I’ve been asked to work a day I wasn’t supposed to work or to work late and I’m just tired of it. Half my coworkers work like 2 days a week and they won’t pick up shifts but I work 5 days and am expected to pick up these shifts? And we have parties we get paid to attend sometimes and they’re so much more fun than usual work of course, and I rarely even get invited to them, it’s always the shitty workers, and they complain about it. Like ugh poor you you got to go eat and drink and picnic and get paid for it poor babies. One of my coworkers is crap at serving the food and drinks to the customers all their waters will be empty and dishes need to be bussed and she doesn’t notice (actually like almost all my coworkers are shit at this), and just like blabs all the time, complains, but she’s somewhat training as a supervisor assistant because she sucks up to every manager we get and becomes their BFF and hangs out with them after work and stuff.
Sometimes I think about reaching out to my ex to get myself closure which is probably one of the stupidest things I could ever consider. It was over 4 years ago that we dated, and I'm fully aware of how fucking idiotic this is but I still keep finding myself getting caught up in the stuff he did. He didn't know what no meant, constantly groped me despite me telling him to stop and pushing his hands away, at one point he thought it would be funny to "jokingly" corner me in his room and start yelling and told his brother it wasn't serious when he came in looking concerned as fuck because he heard him yelling, and other things I don't wanna talk about and just overall made me feel like shit and left me a mess for months after he broke up with me. But I hate living with that, I don't want him to apologize because I know he won't, I don't wanna start talking to him again, he actually has a girlfriend he's been dating for a pretty long time and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been concerned for her since I found out they were together. I just feel extremely retarded for even caring about something that happened so long ago and I'm so done with living with it. But at the same time there was one point before we started dating that I treated him like shit too (mostly just kind of having an attitude/being a bitch and ignoring him). I spent the entire relationship apologizing to him for acting that way to him and spent a really long time feeling like I deserved all of this and honestly I still kinda feel like I did, even if it was nowhere near the same amount of shittiness he treated me with.
I have no issue reaching out to people and trying to clear things up, I've been doing it for years and really have no issue apologizing for my own shitty behavior but I'm scared if I do end up doing this, that he'll just see it as me taking the blame for what he did. I've worked through so much stuff in these 4 years and am in such a better place than I was back then but this still fucks with me and I hate it.
I think these feelings are really normal, especially when you made mistakes as well. Even with your mistakes you never deserved to be sexually harassed like that.
I don’t know what the fix is other than maybe time, but just wanted you to know that feeling like that is not strange!
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I'm so tired of reading about black vs white american politics. Just read some crap about how white people invented sending thank you letter after job interviews to oppress poc.
Literally never heard anything ever about thank you letters in Europe ever.
I'm just venting, not trying to bait, hope no one takes it personally.
i live in europe and i have gotten those emails..
Also bare in mind affirmative action wouldn't exist if we can trust people to choose candidates based on who is the best and not because of bias.
I'm a huge supporter of a 3rd party anonymity system for hiring that modulates your voice and doesn't show your face etc even during the interview process. Completely censor any point of bias and only let the employer focus on your qualifications and what you're saying.
It's not possible to actually hire people without bias unless you deprive the judge of traits that they can perceive.
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Haha, wtf? Even if he's the friendliest guy in the world that's still weird. Switch the roles around and would he be comfortable with some random fast food manager calling you to chat? Why'd he even give her his number in the first place? It's just odd, and no matter how normal you say he is, I can not think of one person I know who'd do that in a serious relationship. It's a god damn fast food manager for christ's sake. It's not like he's going to get career development out of her. What purpose does she serve?
I'd say even if he has the best of intentions, it's still weird. And I stand by that if the roles were reversed it would NOT be acceptable.
Only reason I'm not 100% feeling how you are is because he eats there for lunch for work with his coworkers like everyday and I have a job where I have gotten a couple regulars numbers or have ended up videogame buddies with some because they come so often we end up talking. I'm trying not to be full blown paranoid about it but you have valid
points that made me post about it the first place lol. I'm gonna bring it up to him next time I can and bring up the role reversal thing because it is kinda off. I chat with some of my regulars and do game with them but never have gotten to a point to venting to them? That's another level to me and I'm glad I'm not totally crazy for thinking so.
Ok so I don't know what >>396416
is on about but it's not weird to make a friend with the opposite sex wtf. I've made friends and exchanged numbers/social medias etc with the opposite sex and it's been fine. You're overreacting he's allowed to make friends. I get your paranoia but there's nothing going on. He told you to be up front about it if he was lying he wouldn't have mentioned her at all. Maybe she calls him because shes interested in his prospective or she just wants to rant because she works in a fucking fast food joint and those are hell. If the roles were reverse I'm sure he wouldn't care because he trusts you and you should trust him. To keep a relationship going you need trust and communication. If you don't have the backbone to talk to him about your concerns why are you wasting both of your time.
Eh, as you get older you will understand. And you need to understand that men do not see friendships with women in the same way women see friendships with men. I am speaking from experience.
Also; >To keep a relationship going you need trust and communication.
You also need respect. And it is indeed disrespectful to do what he is doing. If it was a colleague, a coworker, it'd be understandable. The fact that she is just calling him up to vent is not right. They're not old buddies, they're not friends that have known each other before you. This is a completely random woman that is using him, yes, in place of a boyfriend to throw up her problems on. And I don't know what man would listen to that unless he had a vested interest in the person.
Sounds like you're both pretty young from the situation you've described. And if you're not, it's absolutely a red flag.
Bitch what the fuck
I have only male friends and have been bluntly friendzoned by the closest ones. If anything I'm
the fucker who tends to mainly befriend men I like to look at kek.
Sorry your male friends are shit.
In regards to the issue >>396388
has, I agree to just keep an eye on it and discuss your issues with him as you intend to do. If he's the type to cheat on you because you brought up concerns of cheating then he'd just do it anyway. And if he can't empathize with the fact that you've repeatedly had that experience with men, then why is he helping some bitch at work?
Talking it out is the way to go regardless.
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You'll just have to learn the hard way
As a smart bitch I would ask him what's she moaning abouf,make fun of it somehow and if he gets defensive on her behalf he's into her.
Men that are out of school of established in a career/lifestyle are past making female friends anywhere they go. Most adults have it hard making time for already established friends. Him and her phoning each other to vent is odd.
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This is almost incel tier level of logic. Sure men can be shit but not all men see woman as fuck dolls or possible gfs. I'm honestly wary of guys who have no female friends. If they don't then they are the shit type who don't see girls past fuck objects and shit. I would also think an adult man past that point in their lives should be capable to to befriend woman if it just happens to happen and just enjoy company or different perspectives. It's such a double standard. I have girl friends who are well established in their lives and have boyfriends or are even engaged but still make new guy friends once in awhile. It doesn't have to mean anything? To phase out one gender is totally insane to me. It's healthy to have friendships with opposite genders and be capable of doing so without seeing them as relationship options or something.
Dude. There's a difference between having female friends and literally picking up a girl at a fast food joint who is calling you about their personal problems.
No, it's not normal for an adult man in a relationship to befriend a random fast food manager irregardless of how often he "dines in" hahaha
I agree with this
Why is he making random friends with a fast food manager? It's just kind of weird. I'm single and I'd never think to make friends with the managers at my local eateries to the point of listening to them talk about their problems. It's kind of weird that he's so receptive to randos "being friends" with him.
Maybe I'm just weird then, because I don't tend to want to elevate small talk to anything else 95% of the time, I just want to get my stuff and leave. 99% of people that I small talk to are of no interest to me. I mean, you kind of have to want to make friends to do this, imo. I guess some personalities are less likely to do it.
And re: work friends, it's really not the same. It's advantageous and kind of a necessity for you to develop friendships at work, like school, and it can ease tension/office politics. There's no necessity to making friends at a restaurant.
This, lol. Give me my shit and go. You're right about having to want to make friends to do this.
I make small talk with my barista all the time. Would I give him my number? No. He's my barista, not my friend. He's giving me a coffee and we are both sharing a small part of each others day.
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For children, yes, this is completely normal
>>396490>If you make friends with people you talk to frequently, you're a child
Maybe you should consider that people aren't all introverted, or otherwise frigid? Some people are really open to meeting new people and it's really not a big deal to make friends with the workers or a business you are a patron of. >>396388
Bf getting really chummy with a new woman may or may not be a red flag, depends on the people involved. If you can't trust him with a platonic friendship then it's best to end the relationship bc at the very least there's no trust on your end. Regardless of whether he's sketch or not.
Personally I've confided in male friends that I don't have romantic or sexual interest in, even ones that aren't that close to me sometimes. Not saying she doesn't have ulterior motives, just saying it could go either way.
If you want to change your lack of trust then having an honest and open convo w him is the right way to go. You two can work out a way to forge a better bond together and see where this new lady fits into that direction. Worst case you can just break up and it's not a huge deal. Life goes on and romantic partners are not a necessity for happiness.
You sound like the kind of person that needs to work some things out in your head before others can be qualified to deal with your shit. No matter how amazing someone is you might find that you're still insecure as fuck and it will only begin and end with you.
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I need to put this somewhere, so sorry in advance. I've been holding this end for a minute because I don't want to make a big deal about it I really really don't but I'm so fucking disappointed in myself that I haven't been keeping up with my weight loss/healthy lifestyle. I lost 11 pounds and I already know I probably gained that back and then some. I want to go back to the gym but we fucking moved. I'm glad we did since we have a bigger place and its just us two now but fuck was that routine really good for me (home→work-→gym→walk home). I just desperately want it back it was like my.. relaxing time to myself. I was so proud of myself for even keeping up with it too now I just feel like a failure. My bf had surgery so I took a month off to help and fuck did that screw my entire routine up haven't been to a gym since. And because of that month off… we don't have that much money (savings+ all of our tax return went into getting this new place). Literally spent the last of my savings on the car note today. I'm finally getting a paycheck this Thursday so thank fuck for that. My bf doesn't go back to work until the 15th. So we're just going to be living off my check until youknow he finally gets his. My head fucking hurts.
>>Ples no bully but
I just want to go back to my self taught lessons on moonspeak and continue my fanfic that's been on hiatus for a few months now and I want to update my dead youtube channel for all of the 3 people who actually click it. I'm so unbelievably stressed that I honestly feel like crying. I just want a break. Or to just fast forward to a couple of months so by then we should have money and a routine. Fuck I know I had a month off of work but it wasn't exactly a vacation.
what's a normal way to make friends then? /soc/?
talking to a person you frequently see is probably the most normal and old fashioned way of making a friend I can imagine
I went to the hospital today on crutches, had to take a cab because carless anon here.
I felt nervous and sick because, what if trip, what if i go to the wrong place and spend energy and so on. I am in kinda a lot pain so I told the cab dispatcher if the driver could come right in front of my door, because that would be easier for me to wobble into the car.
They told me that should be no problem, why should it be. Well the cab came and the first thing he said to me was how he drove to wrong door first, how dumb it is to drive right to door, how lazy people are these days and am i gonna complain the whole drive. I felt so beyond shit. I already felt bad and sick and then I had to listen to this fucking man take jabs at me the whole drive till he just quited down because I focused on calming the fuck down.
He also just tossed my crutches nearly to the ground when i he dropped me off and listen, I am no pussy ass bitch, but that was so awful. I have no clue what the hell was wrong with him, i made a complaint about him after talking to the driver who took me home. He was very sweet and wondered if he knew him but what the fuck. I wanted to cry at the hospital just out of pure anger, if I was healthy atm I would've told him to fuck off but I was just so tired and in pain. I feel stupid.
Taxi drivers are bitter old cunts that overcharge and scam passengers and then baww when people prefer Uber or Lyft.
In my city they even blocked streets in protest of Uber, then when they banned Uber they continued to act like total dipshits until some guy created a local alternative to Uber called Car:Go and used legal gymnastics to register it as an association of residents so it can't be banned, now they still complain that it's unfair how they can't scam people anymore.
Anyway long story short taxi drivers are assholes and I'm sorry that happened to you anon. Hope you recover quickly.
yeah its definitely normal. my boyfriend made friends with a cashier at the liquor store. they bonded over liking similar breweries and it turns out they like other similar things unrelated to beers.
also i've made friends with an employee at Sprint who helped me pick out and set up my phone. we play on PSN sometimes, it's not unusual.
maybe it's because i'm from a rural town, this is how most adults find friends out here.
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yeah what's with that 'never pluck above your eyebrows' rule? why?? i really need to, otherwise it looks fucking stupid because i dont have enough on the top of my brows to really give it much shape anyways, i just have weird hairs like pic related, which is apparently gigi hadid on the runway. is it me or do her brows look terrible? i'm all for au naturale but if you're going to do your brows, this styling is just awful and looks so amateur/messy
these look like greasy fujo anime club eyebrows to me tbh, which is fine, whatever, but if you're going to do your brows anyways, better that it looks less unkempt imo
This shit has killed my desire to try to read any more fanfic. It's everywhere
and people won't tag that shit so during a sex scene between two supposedly male characters a wild vagina will suddenly appear! People will turn even canon gay characters in ftm troons. jfc.
Do you pay rent? You do sound spoiled though I'm a health freak myself so I'd probably just come up with a way of disposing the food while pretending I ate it.
My father's kicking me out, well he's raised my rent to a sky high level. The problem is, he's doing the same for my brother so I have to pay the rent for both me and my bro, who is autistic and not suitable for work, and now I have to find a place for both of us.
I wish my grandparents were alive so I'd have a place to go to as a temporary solution. My grandma loved me and she would have killed my father for doing this.
Because all of my breakups have been mutual and they weren't cheaters? Contrary to popular beliefs not all men cheat on you.>>inb4 you just didn't catch them
No they just didn't cheat lol unlike op we had communication and trust.
Same anon here. I decided to talk with them because my mind wouldn't stop making me feel anxious and they told me they're tired of me overthinking every little thing and that they don't feel like being my friends anymore, so I guess I'm friendless now. Conveniently this happened right after we started university, when I don't have to see them everyday. I guess people get tired of people, it doesn't matter if I had known them for more than ten years of my life.
It's going to be a hard night… I'm going to cuddle my dog now.
Social media is eating my life.
I was (am?) online friends with this girl and today I noticed she unfollowed me (twitter), so I went to ask her if I did something. She goes "nah, i'm just gonna follow you on -another site-." She doesn't even have an account on that site and even if she did, all she'd get from me is silence because it's not suited for daily updates like twitter. So, she doesn't want to hear anything from me I guess? Friendship over?
Also, fucking follower count. Goddamn it, I don't get how people have the patience to follow hundreds and then unfollow. I don't understand how people who aren't content creators get so many. Like? People like reading the same few jokes over and over again?
The worst part is I'm well aware this is bullshit and doesn't matter at all,,,, but it still makes me feel shitty.
love you anon, always remember you are loved even if you dont hear it enough, your feelings are valid
, and that this too shall pass. this is exactly whats going on with my twin right now and i know i could make her feel more appreciated than i do… please have a good day and stay safe, i know that something that helps me gather my thoughts and ignore ones i dont want to have is the “leaves on the river” guided mindfulness exercise, its easy to find via google but doing something like mindfulness or guided meditation has helped me center myself and collect my energy and thoughts to put it towards my interests vs my vices. good luck anon sorry for the unsolicited advice
This is probably no comfort, but look up statistics in your country regarding hpv and cancer. It helped me realize that not every infection leads to cancer. Now I know you said the strain has a high possibility of morphing into something bad, but still.
Also better now then in 20 years time - it could be already too late by then. Most women die because they don't get regular check-ups (at least where I'm from) and the fucker metastasized beyond help
Eh, not to invalidate you, but here's a few things I want to illuminate. I think more context is needed because from the story you painted I would not say this was sexual assault.
>I was lying in bed just clearly depressed and sick of everything
So you were laying in bed? Were you crying? I don't really know what this means. If I were laying in bed my bf would probably come up and try to lay with me too. Unless there had been a discussion previously, but even then I've had fights where we had sex afterwards and it's pretty normal for a lot of people.
>knowing I was unhappy with the relationship
Did ya talk about it?
>My feelings at the time were just complete apathy.
I guess here is where the lines are blurred for me. You did not express you weren't interested. You permitted it to happen and that is pretty much consent. Especially if you're in a relationship. Again, depending on additional context, that might change my mind, but sexual assault is ASSAULT. It's an act of perpetration.
Men think differently than women do, that is just a fact. He's not going to connect the things you described (you laying in bed depressed because you are unhappy with your relationship) unless you have explicitly stated them.
My question is… did you talk to HIM about it? Obviously you are broken up now, but did you ever talk about this with him?
I had to take valproate for epilepsy for a while. Thankfully I wasn't on it too long because it didn't work. I found that made me constantly hungry, all I could think about was food and I used to stuff my face until I was so full I felt sick.
I dealt with it by getting rid of all the food that started making me fat because any self control I once had was gone. Instead I kept a supply of lean meat like chicken with lots of low calorie vegetables. This worked for me in two ways. It would put me off eating when I wasn't actually hungry because I now had to put in the effort to cook and if I couldn't help but ram food into my mouth, it didn't matter because a box a mushrooms and a cucumber is about 40 calories.
I went to fucking Steak n Shake and holy shit the management was terrible. Like only 2 cooks were in the kitchen, everyone else was a waiter or cashier. I witnessed a waitress come in and she immediately got sent home because there was literally only 10 people sitting down to eat. The waitress even said, "Well, this isn't the first time this has happened." and left. There were already like 10 waiters there too. Just standing around, talking.
It took like 20 minutes for me to get my food. Also the person who gave me my bag of food, I'm pretty sure it was the supervisor, gave it to someone else. I had to dig into my own bag to check if it was actually mine. If anybody else did it I would've asked for a whole new order.
Someone before me had an issue with their order, they got charged for fries and wanted a refund for the extra fries and then the fucking cook tries to come up and negotiate with the person saying "Well, it's not gonna be much of a difference if you take out the fries" and the person firmly told the cook, "I don't want fries, though. I'm not gonna eat them. I want my 90 cents." THEN, the cashier tried to stop the refund by going, "Well, from my experience…" And the person had to tell him to shut up lmao.
God it was a shit show. Seriously, these people aren't getting paid to argue with a customer who clearly stated their order had a mistake. Don't guilt the person into accepting the mistake and not changing anything. I swear. Hire more cooks. There's a reason why the fucking dine-in area is so bare and you're not getting any revenue.
Anon, if you can manage, please don’t lose hope. I was in this exact situation for years. My ability to do anything other than browse YouTube and image boards outside of work was 0. Not playing games, or drawing, or anything. Even though I had a stable income and a safe roof over my head, it wasn’t better. I had nothing to talk to people about because I literally did nothing but sleep, eat, and work retail. Envisioning a future seemed pointless. I thought, “yeah, I could get married, have children, the possibility is there but what’s the point”. I was functioning, but dead on the inside. I felt like my existence was a drag on others, and that the burden of my apathy was causing the people around me to resent me.
What I didn’t realize is that I was actually under an incredible amount of stress, combined with untreated ADHD that I had suffered from since childhood. It had morphed into depression over time, and I had never had any idea of the cause because I had lived almost my entire life like this. I thought it was normal. It’s not.
If you haven’t been to any kind of doctor, I’d suggest going. Also, get you’re hormones checked if possible. I know this isn’t the easiest suggestion if you live somewhere like America (ie absolute shit doctors and extreme prices), but if you can go through planned parenthood or a dedicated mental health clinic, you should get better results than from a general practitioners recommended psychiatrist.
This is a good first step. There’s more, but I think I’m getting long winded and don’t want to turn this into a blogpost, so I’ll end with this:
It took me a couple years, but I slowly managed to crawl out from the hole. I’m back to having a routine, outwardly not so different than before, but mentally completely different. I actually feel accomplished, doing work. I can work the same amount or more, without fatigue, and then have energy for hobbies (that I now care about again). Thinking about totally mundane future shit actually makes me excited and happy. The lingering fear is gone. I know that emotionally, you probably won’t be able to feel hope from reading this. But if the logical part of your brain can just remember that, somewhere, it was possible for someone, maybe that will be a good first step.
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Manbaby uncle finally left and I couldn't be more relieved.
First of all, it's rude as fuck to just decide one week he wants to "visit" family, and proceeds to inform everyone in less than two day's notice that he'll be crashing at our places. I put visit in quotations because he never actually visits, it's him flopping in front of the tv while someone else cooks him three squares a day. And because he never gives adequate warning, neither me nor anyone else can get time off work (to actually visit or do anything, yanno). So it's literally us going to work just to come home and be met by this mid 50s year old dude intruding on our space and privacy. Most people would just like to unwind after work. Mom doesn't give a fuck because she's a retired bitch with nothing better to do than be a handmaid, but me and dad work.
This rude behavior is totally enabled. It could be because my uncle is the youngest of my mom's siblings, and the fact that he gives off the impression of being simple because-frankly-he acts stupid combined with the fact that he has Tourettes.
But that's all bullshit.
At worst my uncle is probably a bit on the aspie spectrum, but the reason why he comes off so aloof is because he's selfish and doesn't pick up on any social cues due to being babied all his life. Consequences were next to nil and there was always someone making excuses for him. He lived with my grandparents up until they passed away; imagine your mom cooking and doing your laundry until you were in your 40s! That was my uncle.
My mom goes into mother hen mode whenever he comes to visit, because my grandparents were misogynists who always placed importance on a male's presence. And so she takes on a role of servitude despite the fact that none of her brothers are ever as considerate or accommodating towards her.
"What about your uncle?" It might come off as a sweet gesture to others, but because I know the full picture it fills me with disgust how she waits on them hand and foot while they all barely muster a care in return.
Aside from that, my uncle is just an annoying and stupid dumbass in general.
My first interaction was seeing him waddle out of my mom's house in a shirt that was two sizes too small, revealing his round fupa poking out the bottom. Thankfully, he changed out of that and opted for a Chris Chan tier white polo shirt that had blue, yellow, and red stripes all over it–this happened after we informed him we were taking him to a buffet for dinner. Aka a feeding trough because he notoriously overeats. My evening meal was spent in the crossfire of his chewed food sputum flecking onto my arms and hair because he talks when he eats. And he never talks about anything new, so it's all the same shit that's been regurgitated before-no pun intended. He never has anything new or intelligent to say.
Did I mention the tourettes? So on top of the obnoxiousness of his mannerisms he also grunts, oinks, and makes other sounds while he eats. He sounds and acts like a literal pig at the table.
But anyway we got through the dinner.
He decides to spend the nights at my aunt and uncle's house that's a five minute walk down the street. Thank goodness, or so I thought.
My uncle actually went to work during the day, so he never babysat manbaby uncle unless at night. My aunt was in another state the whole time until she got back today.
So, actually, we all wound up being manbaby uncle's primary sitters.
I came home from work yesterday and the lazy fuck parked his truck in my spot. As in, he's so obese and lazy he actually drove his truck to our house instead of walking the whole 5 minute jaunt down the street in our little subdivision.
I get into the house and my mom was working to fix some kind of casserole scratch while manbaby was watching a McDonald's documentary thing on Netflix. He didn't say a word as I walked in, nor did I to him.
Since I don't like my mom's cooking I started to make my own meal. Since my cooking is actually good, manbaby's pigsnout started to wiggle. Turned out he didn't like the slop my mom had rustled up for them and hankered for the food I had made for myself. There were at least three other portions I had intended for future meals, or a reasonable post-meal snack for him.
Mom, being the pathetic handmaid she is, saw my uncle's distress and volunteered to him MY food! Super rude. He didn't take any because I made sure I looked as displeased as possible. His dumb ass tried to compliment my cooking by saying I must have inherited it from my mom (???) which makes no sense as it stands but that's how the narcissists in my family operate; it's not that I taught myself how to cook and therefore am good, I clearly inherited voodoo from my mom who never showed me how to make anything but hamburger helper and by the way isn't her food the shit he was trying not to eat?????????
Same shit, different day today.
Came home from work.
Dumbfuck is in my spot.
Open the door and he's plopped on the couch watching tv.
Mom is in the kitchen starting dinner.
They went shopping today and got seafood, so I had to cook their seafood since they don't know how to even make it.
Does manbaby volunteer to help with anything? Fuck no.
Mom asks him specifics about how he'd like his dinner as if he's a child to be waited on.
Uncle eats a third of the seafood himself.
Then hovers around awkwardly watching tv until he deems it late enough to leave.
It sickens me so much. I can't even imagine how hard I'd be put in place if I, a woman, were to act like this in any capacity.
Honestly I haven't been using the site nearly as long but Ive noticed that the userbase seems kinda worse overall in the last year or so.
The lack of reading comprehension is what kills me the most though. It's embarrassing watching a thread devolve into sperging for hours because they misinterpreted a post or a took an obvious joke/meme seriously.
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Ive been having a really hard year, and i already wasn’t having a good timeline… My boyfriend of almost 2 years took his life almost a year ago, i relapsed into a heroin habit i curbed as a teenager really hard, I quit my job because we worked at the same place together and it was too hard to face our coworkers, and I still live in the room we had together in the home we built together with our roommates, just alone. I’ve been trying to find solace and peace in the wrong places, and I dont know how to stop. I dont feel like I can handle a rehab facility, and I know it would be tolling in more ways than financially for my family for me to go. I feel like a burden and a monster, and I feel everyone getting sick of me being a piece of shit leech but every time i think of getting my shit together i just feel overwhelmed and i crave dope. I dont know what to do, I can try to unwind myself in as many ways as possible but i dont know how to stop feeling this pain. i havent had to romantically socialize in years and I’m young but im butch looking and have generally weird social habits that people love me for but in a “that goofy friend we have” way. I don’t know when im gonna get to smile again without the help of substances regardless of the catagory the way he made me smile. people have said thats ok but i dont think i can be ok with it. i just want someone to hold me and to hold and i really just would do anything for 5 earthly minutes to just say goodbye and i know everyone who knew him feels the same. i feel like death isnt talked about enough other in a way of “im so sorry” and just an uncomfortable gut feeling, and i dont know how to talk about it without feeling like i cant talk about it. i thought i burst an abcess in my arm earlier this year and i really thought i was gonna have to bite the bullet and just go to a doctor to see if it needed to be amputated and i really dont know what kind of person i am that i am ok with losing life and limb for temporary peace. thanks for anyone who reads this, sorry for the wall of text.
The only reason I’m alive right now is my cat. Before that, it was for my dog. My parents can’t. Even show proper respect and love to an animal
I can’t leave her
What do I do
It depends on the thread. Early Dakota threads are so nice its obvious that most anons were jealous of her and wanted to skinwalk her, with people sharing her outfit links and asking where she got her circle lenses. Now Dakota threads are full of vitriol and sperging, since theres no milk.
so my theory is the more actual milk or events there are to discuss, the less nitpicking goes on. when a cow or flake goes silent, anons start having to pick at weight or noses and nasolabial folds.
as for the kpop critical thread, it started off as a place to complain about korea as a whole because this /ot/ had a phase where there were a bunch of ex-weebs and kboos talking about how asian culture ruined their lives and made them hate being white.
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I wish my cat was better at entertaining himself. When I get home from work I play with him for 30-45 min and then have to make dinner and do commission work. He will follow me around meowing and swatting my ankles the whole time. Then I play with him with the laser a bit before bed to try and wear him out but he's still super needy. I get he's lonely and bored all day but I can't play with him for hours when I get home. I have different toys lying around for him to entertain himself with (a tunnel, 2 cat trees in front of 2 different picture windows, different kinds of balls, a teaser stuck to the wall) but he never engages with them unless I get on the floor with him. I'd get a second cat so they could keep each other company but I'm afraid they'll hate each other and then I'll have two needy bastards to take care of. I love him to death but between my fulltime job and doing art on the side I just don't have time to play with him for hours except on weekends. Maybe I'm just a bad pet owner.
aw, it sounds like you love him a lot and like he's taken good care of. Don't beat yourself up.
I think getting another cat is not a bad idea. If he's that energetic around you, I'm sure he'd love a friend after some introduction and maybe play-fights and another cat could find a loving home and an energetic friend with him.
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I hated my ex for always being jealous. I had to block him from seeing my fb posts and other social media because he'd hound me every dude who posted on my stuff or take things too seriously. It was exhausting but I'm now that person with my current boyfriend because I got cheated on after that ex. Now my bf is either doing the same thing to me or lying. He added my best friend back on fb and it basically confirmed for a couple months he's restricted me so I can only see public posts. He posts regularly and I noticed he stopped. He said he just stopped posting so he did lie about it but my friend let me log into her FB to check it out and he's not hiding anything/anyone? He's not posting anything that would be offensive towards our relationship and there's no flirting or anything weird in any comments. It's all how it always was and it's not like I ever posted on anything so I couldn't find a reason and that's when I realized he did he probably did it because he started to get tired of the anxiety kinda comments I'd make on things over nothing. I hate myself and I gotta get my anxiety under control. I'm going to talk to him about it and be transparent in that I understand why he did it but I am worried that maybe it's for some fuck boy reason and some small other things I've been anxious about are true and that would have to be for cheating reasons. I'm not sure which is worse on being right about tbh. Me being so like my jealous ex or him being a lying cheater. He doesn't deserve this if I'm wrong and I have been so bad lately. He's been overwhelmingly accommodating but it's not ok still. If he's willing to talk to me about this I'm going to stop being unbearable and get meds for my anxiety finally. I just hope my anxiety isn't right about what it could be tho.
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I just wish I'd mean something to someone. And it sucks to know that the people I cared about most don't. Why do I even bother.
This is far too relateable except I don't have any friends and when my coworkers asked me the same thing I just awkwardly paused for 15 seconds, totally unsure of what to say because I don't enjoy shit anymore either, then proceeded to say how I wish I could go camping more often. Then they asked why I don't and I just paused again and said "I don't know". > I feel like a have no future and honestly if the rest of my life is going to be like this I'd rather just die.
Same. Exactly the same. Just end me. I'm sorry I have no valuable advice for you as I'm in the same hole too. Hope it atleast gives you comfort to know that you're not alone. Take care, friend.
I don't know how deep your anxiety runs but I used to struggle (still do a bit) with social anxiety and I'd like to share something that helped me a lot.
I was actually seeing a therapist for it because my social anxiety was so bad and my therapist made me go with him to a local mall and just stare at people. The rule was I wasn't allowed to break eye contact first. I didn't have to talk to people, just look at them.
Anyway, what I realized was everyone I looked at broke eye contact very quickly, and nobody confronted me. People were (understandably, I was staring at them) nervous and I realized that most people are also shy with strangers, and don't want any trouble. I was young at the time, so I'd just left high school where the more confident extroverted people can get really nasty, but I realized that even confident extroverted adults aren't usually like that anymore. It really helped me stop seeing other people as scary monsters out to humiliate me.
and I just came back to say I went into a meeting yesterday at my job and found out that I'm actually losing my job on the 27th. This just keeps better and better. Fuck my life honestly.
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I fucking regret self harming as a teen. I have gashes and keliod scars on my legs that'll never fade, and as someone who's pursuing a career in acting and modeling it fucking sucks.
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>keep failing on dates because brain turns to mush in presence of cute men
>had a perfectly good chance to get with an interesting guy today
>MADE FIRST MOVE SO THERE'S NO EXCUSE
>could tell he tried to flirt
>every time he asked a simple question I was just fucking GONE
>come off as both rarted AND an ignorant asshole
My brain just goes "ooga booga boy small good big eyes hnnn" and that's all there is. I fucking hate myself.
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Ugh, I understand this completely. Under the influence of Klonopin I burned a shitload of cigarettes into my left hand. I don't smoke anymore and am now a professional, but even though it's been 5 years since I did this the scars are still very much visible. Cigarette burns have a. very obvious shape so people always ask me what they are. I say "grease splatter", which most people won't question further, but I have overheard people talk about it behind my back.
I hate when I am in a meeting and people stare at it. My heart sinks.
>anon, what's that?>how'd that happen?>looks like that hurt
Can relate anons. I've done some absolutely retarded things to my hands, arms, and occasionally my legs, thighs, chest, and neck, with cigarettes primarily and although the burns have healed with time, the outline is still very visible to me and some people. It doesn't help that I've relapsed a few times since the initial cigarette burn episodes, where I gave myself… what, 13 burns? I've never done something that extreme since, I have only had condensed episodes.
The knife and razor scars are luckily less visible, but they're still ugly and I feel like everyone can see them. It gets hot as hell down here during the summer so I have no choice but to often leave my arms open during those months. It really tanks my esteem every time someone notices I have scars.
anon, I so know how you feel.
My father is the same, I just don't know how some men can lack decency to clean after themselves.
I don't want to go into graphic details, but the things I've seen were so disgusting. My brother and I never left nasty surprises ever since we were little kids and nobody had to teach us that. Why on Earth is my father such a disgusting swine, I'll never know.
The worst part is that the shitting always took in the morning when I was making breakfast. The stench from the toilet would spread throughout the entire first floor and make me gag. But the shit stains, oh God the shit stains. I still have nightmares about them. When moving out, the best thing about it was not having to fear what I'd see first thing in the morning.
Sorry for the rant but despite it not sounding like an issue, it was a fucking hell.
I need a fucking job so bad.
I'm supposed to fly to Seattle in July, for a close friend's wedding, but nobody will employ me. Like, I've tried basically everywhere, I might just decide to give up and apply to Mcdonalds even though I'm not supposed to be working with food like that (I'm still recovering from an eating disorder.)
If I don't make this trip, I'll be ruining it for my boyfriend too, since he's going, but won't want to go without me.
The worst part is I'm an ex-sex worker from my teens, and the dark part of my mind is telling me to just fall back into that, since it's seemingly the only job I deserve, but I know that's just bad thinking.
fucking hell anon? this took an unexpected turn???
I had internet friends claiming I broke their hearts (after meeting once and never kissing) and cutting themselves, (two different guys) so I get that people fixate
This sounds genuinely dangerous, God bless the friend for telling you about it. Please tell your husband and show him the pictures. Assuming the guy knows where you live, I advise staying somewhere else (relative or friend) for a little while, and definitely call the cops
Stay safe anon
I like metal very much, especially shit like what i just linked. And for some reason, i can only listen to black metal, there just isn't much out there like it. I am pretty much the minority even as a metal listener.
I don't understand the appeal of dadrock and thrash metal, you have to be a born-in-the-wrong-generation snowflake to listen to that shit.
this is terrible, anon. just awful, sorry. >>397287
and if you notice too, there's so much emphasis on playing guitar fast rather than it actually being aurally pleasing, and they pretend that their weird obsession with playing fast means they have the most technical skill ever, so it actually makes metal like, the most cerebral of all genres or whatever. men that like metal seem to be perpetual manchildren. i honestly can't take anyone seriously that listens to metal without acknowledging that it's garbage. sunn o))) is the closest i've ever come to hearing anything 'metal' that is any bit listenable. men are just extra prone to being tasteless edgelords, i guess.
I like metal too, specifically black metal but also melodic and post.
It's nice to see another anon into it.
Which other bands do you listen to?
My favorites are Imperial Circus Dead Decadence, Batushka, Agalloch, Mgla, Burzum, and 1914.
Not all of them are specifically black metal as you can probably tell.
I was also thinking of creating a metal general on lolcow but seeing the responses it would probably be a bad idea.
Also, I regardless of the subcategory, I love album arts. I aspire to become an artist to create album arts for metal bands. It probably won't happen but one can dream.
my ex-bf called me a bitch today, apropos of nothing
we work in the same department (yes, i've learned my lesson not to shit where i eat) and only dated for 3 months a yr ago. he broke up w me, not because i did anything bad, we just expected different things out of the relationship (i wanted romance lol). whatever, no hard feelings. however since then he's been acting like i still owe him friendship. i mostly avoid him, and if directly forced to communicate w him nonprofessionally i'll grey rock him. after the breakup the scales fell from my eyes p much and i realized he had been making me feel bad for things that i didnt have to feel bad abt, like calling him out for homophobic jokes, for insulting me, etc. he was always the victim and would literally CRY every time i told him he had done something not cool. and i guess he's mad im not being as nice to him as i was when we were IN A RELATIONSHIP, so i am a bitch.
tl;dr i hate men
>>397310>I was also thinking of creating a metal general on lolcow but seeing the responses it would probably be a bad idea.
No, do it! There's probably enough of us who enjoy metal.
Personnlly I love stuff like in vid related.>>397290>I don't understand the appeal of dadrock and thrash metal, you have to be a born-in-the-wrong-generation snowflake to listen to that shit.
Thrash I can enjoy, but holy hell I can't stand the AC/DC type of dadrock.
You don't have to like metal, but what your saying is no different from the edge lords who slam pop music for being shallow and rap for only being about drugs and gangbanging. I'm sorry you've only ever listened to crappy emo metal.>>397310
I've been getting into Batushka lately, Litourgia is a damn good album.
It also reminds me that i need to revisit Agalloch soon, i haven't listened to them in a long time.
The bands in my current rotation are Drudkh, Horna, Urfaust, Lunar Aurora, The Angelic Process and Blut aus Nord.
I like meeting other ladies who like more extreme music in general, it always makes me happy, i'm so sad that a metal genre thread wouldn't work because people can't handle people enjoying things they don't like.
>I found that made me constantly hungry, all I could think about was food and I used to stuff my face until I was so full I felt sick.
This describes how I've felt for the past few months perfectly. I'm never full. fuck valproate.
guess i'll take your advice and try to find more low cal stuff to fill my house with.
My scars are very obviously self-harm (like, completely straight organized line) so most people who have any sort of tact generally say nothing to me. I still get some looks in the summer when I wear shorts but it’s whatever.
At this point, if anybody not close to me even so much as alludes to them, I generally say something like “isn’t that rude to ask?” and then a hard look.
Practice your judgemental stare.
Ok, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way.
I know that "go back to PULL" is kind of a meme here but I really do get the feeling that a lot of posters come from there. It's especially obvious in the /w/ threads>>397337
kind of related, I live in the US and I wish it was more acceptable to use umbrellas in the sun, they actually really help with keeping cool in the summer.
Why are you friends with these guys?
I can't imagine any of my friends acting like that if I exposed my legs (ntayrt btw, different leg sh scar anon).
I believe you can do it. But be warned – it takes a lot of work to develop that mental capacity – you have to enjoy the subjects and appreciate the progress you make.
I developed a good mind for math and science because I was naturally curious about the world.
When you ask questions about how things work – like why there are mirages on hot days, how do medicines treat disease, how are nuclear reactors designed (I could go on) – you rapidly run into walls : the topics are more complicated than you can begin to comprehend.
Every time I was able to use my knowledge of math and science to understand something I had wondered about as a child – that was a victory.
I reached my limit at math major material - I tried studying "Real Analysis" by Rudin and the first few chapters fried my brain.
I don't think I have the attention span to learn it. Still can do Diff. Eq. and enough math theory for CS.
Keep trying anon, you'll get there eventually, and you will be glad you did.
It changes the way you see the world around you, sharpens the mind, and opens so many rewarding (and well paying) career options.
start by baby steps, anon, no one can read advanced research articles just like that from the ground up! choose an area you want to know more about, like three parent babies for example (just bc it was in the news recently lol), first read some basic daily mail-tier articles to understand the gist of the mechanism or problem or whatever or keywords, then move on to more pop-science-esque sources or ones meant for highschool-level teaching, breaking a bigger concept into blocks and then googling/wiki-ing it alwyas helps unless they're like names of chemicals or something, in the case of three parent babies you could divide it into how sperm and egg make a fetus, what is mitochondria, what is IVF, and then finally how three parent babies are made.
another way to approach this is by reading pop-science books, like if you want to know more about evolution and how organisms adapt and such, Horseshoe Crabs and Velvet Worms is a pretty cozy and accessible book, it has the vibe of your rambly grandpa going on and on about his holidays and weird animals and their lives through times, i'm sure you can find more like it through goodreads or something. sorry all my examples are bio related but i'm sure same could be applied to astrophysics or whatever. you just have to start with something non-intimidating that you really want to know more about, even seemingly dumb shit, that way researching it will be more interesting than checking on beckies on IG kek. like i had a very satisfying googling sesh yesterday about if vaginal yeast can be used in baking and turns out no bc it is a different species of yeast that lacks the ability. it will still feel satisfying to know something new and over time it will build your confidence in tackling more serious shit.
also just because people sound smart doesn't mean they are, it just means they know how to articulate themselves nicely or have good oratory skills, just like any skills they can be learned to an extent (some people are just natural) so don't let that intimidate you (been there, done that, was fucking dumb). always check what they are saying yourself and form your own opinions, unless it's on something absolute like ice can melt, chances are there isn't a "right" or "wrong" one and anyways you can always change it if you come across new information, no shame in that!
A bit of science like biology is okay – but start with math (and then foundational sciences like physics and chemistry) – half the ideas in science are largely based on math and either way, it will expand your mental capacity for the complicated mechanisms & systems you will learn about in science.
If you really want to know biology – try learning bits of organic chemistry as you go – it will make both subjects more fun.
(try to understand basic chem before you tackle that – I enjoyed organic chemistry a ton – even though I had no reason to take for my major – XD.)
oh it was absolutely great! i'm done with all my chem units for this degree now and honestly its bit upsetting lol, i loved them! also it's bit boring to me to just study one single thing over and over. the teaching staff was very engaging (no droning from text only slides) and just really good at presenting you know? the exam prep was a breeze. labs were i guess pretty basic experiment-wise but there were still fun moments, like competition for the longest nylon 66 strand or who will get the highest yield of crystals, i'm bit too
competitive so it was up my alley kek
Yes, thank god someone else agrees. I vented about my terrible experience at a fast food restaurant a day ago >>396932
Too many fucking people go to fast food jobs because they think they can get paid to do the bare minimum. I used to work at a restaurant too and I saw firsthand how lazy a lot of my coworkers were.
I've witnessed racist coworkers cry because they had to serve black people. When I pointed out how dumb they were acting, they tried to change the subject about how I sucked at my job. Fuck restaurant work honestly, there's better jobs out there.
Anyone else have a hard time moving on from things? If it's just strangers then it's fine but friends… why can't i let go? I've made up my mind about this shitty friend group i left, but i just. can't. stop. thinking. about. it! I finally made up my mind and yet it's as if there's a stubborn part of me desperately clawing at some drama that i DON'T want to be a part of. I want to forget soooo badly. I want these ugly thoughts out of my head. They make me so exhausted every day. I know i was miserable and I've taken the necessary steps to distance myself. But there's an ungrateful brat deep within me that wants to hold on.>>397355>>397407
I agree with this anon. The fact that you want to pursue knowledge is already a great sign. I say fuck it, you're trying your best to improve yourself, you want to become smarter and that's great. Better than a ton of people that can't be arsed to do it.
Posted this on other thread but still very relevant. >>397396
A book on discrete math or other theory heavy math will be an good step in cultivating your mind toward loftier goals, and show you how diverse and interesting it can be.
Khan academy is your friend.
Maybe consider : http://discrete.openmathbooks.org/home.php
Art of Problem Solving material is a crucible - if
you can get through it, you will come out more or less a genius.https://artofproblemsolving.com/news/articles/dealing-with-hard-problems
Also I am interested in tutoring - I have too much time on my hands and I think it would be help me rediscover my enthusiasm for learning - I am kinda burned out in uni right now.
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I slightly regret ending contact with a friend who liked the same stuff as me but was a huge elitist. The western anime fanbase is full of stupid shit like this and guys who fetishize middle schoolers and non stop post porn.
I also don't fit into this whole fujo twitter culture where they rightfully find the term "fag" offensive but have no problem calling each other bitches, whores and unironically using the word "boypussy".
This might be a bit incoherent but I feel like I need to ramble and vent a bit.
I am going to an European med school, third year. All throughout my life I was an artsy person who liked languages and literature. I always held people who understood science in high regard and wanted to be like them, so in my last year of high school I decided med school was the best achievement I could try to achieve, even though it wasn't the path I was walking on so far. So in order to feel a certain fulfilment I'm my life (I am super scared of wasting my life and not achieving enough) I entered it. I really like what we study, it's fascinating and interesting, but I am very overwhelmed. I feel like I missed all the preparation almost all students had in high school (except for biology, I never had that many science classes). I am succeeding but I have bad grades. I want to improve but I feel like I have no time… I am not being able to concentrate lately. I read the sentences and they just don't enter my head. I also entered the school choir and it's taking so much time. I don't want to lose my friends so I meet up with them from time to time and that makes me even more stressed. I made a new boyfriend few months ago and again, have less time for studying, he goes to law school and their study schedule is much looser. I also teach Japanese two to three times a week because I need the money. I try to exercise. I make time to study in my free time but I still feel like I'm not doing enough, I tend to watch Netflix and procrastinate. I feel so dumb and lazy compared to my classmates, they know every answer even to things I never heard about. Many of them also have busy schedules but are doing just fine. I also am starting to be snappy and have anger issues towards people I love and myself. I always had anxiety troubles (and that's what makes me take more and more responsibilities upon myself), lately it's getting better but I feel like it's just hidden deeper inside and I'm going to explode. Now we have only three weeks for 5 exams, each of them needing around 3 weeks to prepare for. I don't understand how people around me cope. They work just as much, know twice as much as me, pass all the exams, exercise more, have actual talents and stil have okay mood. Med students are just hardcore. I feel like I'm trash compared to them.
I went through something similar. It's really during those times where you can see who gives genuine fucks about you.
But some people might just be overwhelmed by the situation and they don't know what's the right way to react. Or they can't emotionally handle the situation so they just wait for you to "get better".
However, if that person has always been neglecting your feelings and is only there for the good times then I wouldn't consider them close, anon.
You need reassurance and comfort, not someone that makes you feel like you're a burden.
I grieved alone as well and what helped was the fact that whenever I felt lonely or sad I just wrote about it until I felt better.
There are also many online communities where you can share your feelings with people who go through the same thing.
Make yourself as busy as possible but don't try to force yourself to feel better, either.
Sorry for the shitty advice but it'll eventually be fine, anon, really.
You're being clearly too harsh on yourself. It's really hard to get into most European med schools and you went in despite not be the "science-type". You know what? The first few sentences could've been written by me cause I'm also the artsy type who's more linguistically talented and I had no problem with that until my parents told me how much they want me to choose the science field. It also didn't help that my friend wanted to be a doctor. But my mental health made it impossible toneven consider it.
You're doing ok despite all those things you've listed, give yourself more credit, seriously.
Stop trying to do so many things at once. It's ok to not have a perfect balance all the time, but don't let procrastination take over.
And don't compare yourself to other students, it's just counterproductive. They are not you.
Med school was too much for me and I knew I was going STEM path since elementary school. I went into a field of Engineering instead.
Keep trying but don’t be surprised if ir doesn’t work out.
Yeah - maybe consider going for a masters degree in microbiology - hard but not quite as hard. Soooo many people try med school and fail. It’s a noble aspiration but without a good background it will only get harder and harder as you go.
If i were you - I would have aimed for a bachelors degree in microbiology or organic chem and then,
if you feel like you have developed the skills, the knowledge, (and the work ethic) to tackle med school - go forward.
I bet you're nowhere as "stupid" as you think. Ever heard of impostor syndrome? I'm a lot like you and I can relate to a lot of your thoughts (although I'm not a med student), especially the feeling like you're the only dumbass who's struggling and everyone else seems to be doing just fine.
The thing is, those people are just better at coming off as confident and put together. I guarantee that if you got a peek into their personal lives, it's nowhere near as rosy as it seems from the outside. I've had a lot of experience going to competitive schools where everyone is haughty and full of themselves and all competing to get the best grades but half the time they're full of shit: lying about their good grades, lying about how little they studied, lying about how happy their life is, etc. Oh, and a lot of them cheat, too. I've heard med school can be a toxic
environment sometimes so I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of thing goes on in your school as well.
is right, European med schools are brutal, if you even got in and
made it this far, you're definitely smart.)
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my depression has come back in full swing and i have no idea where to go from here.
i don’t have energy to do anything productive besides the bare minimum schoolwork i can do in a day (i study from home) and doing basic stuff like washing my face and showering has become a huge struggle that i need to psych myself up for for hours before i can do it, if i even manage to do it.
my doctor recently had me switch meds and i think they may have something to do with it because this started shortly after i started taking them. but i can’t be sure that’s the reason.
all i do besides school stuff lately is lounge around, browse lolcow, do online shopping until i’m broke and watch youtube. it’s all so shallow and pointless and i have no idea what to do to get better because my motivation is dead.
Highly recommend Thinkpads, you can find ones with great specs for super cheap and they're like fucking tanks. I got mine for only $150 (plus another $60 for a new screen because the stock ones are horrible) and I couldn't be happier with it, by far the best laptop I've ever had and also the cheapest.
It has 8 gigs of RAM, a good processor (socketed too, so I can upgrade if I want), and an SSD, so it's not like it's an utter piece of crap either. Does everything I need it to. And that was with me being on a super tight budget so if you're willing to spend $300 or so you could get something even better and newer.
They're also great because they have such a big community so if you ever need to replace or upgrade something you will always be able to find a guide or resources of some sort, no matter which model you have.
I'm a big fan of the T440/T450 family (I personally use a T440p myself and I love it!), but they're only 14 inch screens, not sure if that's too small for you or not. I like the T450s a lot, I was this close to buying one but I decided I wanted a socketed CPU so I could upgrade later which the T450s doesn't have. The T450s also has a touchscreen option and I've heard it's really good, and that might be useful for graphic design type stuff. Depending on how good you want the specs to be you could get one for maybe $225-375, but if you really keep an eye out you could snag a better deal. (Not every T450s model has a touchscreen though so if that's important to you make sure the listing specifies that!)
If you'd prefer a bigger screen and don't mind spending some more money, then I'd recommend the T5xx family instead, they have 15.6 inch screens. They're also newer so they're a bit sleeker and more elegant than the T440/50, my laptop is an absolute brick (5 pounds, 1 inch thick) haha so if you also want something very portable then something like a T550 is the way to go. I'm looking on eBay right now and I see a lot of good models with great specs for about $400-450 or so. If you have a bigger budget you can also spring for the newer T560 if you'd rather have the latest model.
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I want to shave my head.
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Poverty is literally the reason of my depression. My life would be so normal and happy if I were born in even just a middle class family. Everything I want and need is so out of my reach, even though normal people my age can get it without any issue. I resent my parents for not aborting me everyday.
I'd like to move out, but first I need at least $2000 because I need some dental work I can't (of course) afford. But there's no way I can make that money here because there are no jobs. I can't move out until I get this done, because abroad it'd be three times more expensive, but I don't have money for it. I'm desperately trying to find a remote job, like customer support and stuff like that, but it's either US only (I'm in Europe, no UK) or they never get back to me. A week ago I got tested for a company, the only who liked my resume. They should get back to me in 1/2 weeks and I'm going to fucking cross my fingers that this works and I get this job because hell, can I just have some luck in my life? Can I just get to leave this shithole at least, and go somewhere else where I can have better chances? I'm so desperate I'd even do sex work at this point, I'd hate it but at least I'd have money for therapy and stuff.
I know that feel, I try not to compare myself to others but it's hard. Since you're in Europe can you get dental work reimbursed, at least partially? I know the system depends on countries themselves AND on your health insurance but I hope you can find a way to make it less expensive somehow.
>They should get back to me in 1/2 weeks
Tell us if you get the job.
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I can't thank you enough for all the information! Seriously, when you scout for a good laptop, most of it are paid adverts in form of reviews. It's a huge headache to just go through all of that while you nicely summed all I wanted to know.
I'll be definitely getting myself a Thinkpad and thanks to you I'll be able to decide which model would suit my needs the most.
I wish I could pay you a drink or something!
Haha no worries, I'm just glad I could help out and convert a fellow farmer to the glory of Thinkpads (and probably save a lot of money too)! Since I got my own I've been in awe of what I've missed out on all these years and I want to shout from the rooftops about how much I love these damn laptops. I can't believe how long I put up with shitty, overpriced, low-spec, dinky little laptops!
For more research I'd also recommend checking out the Thinkpad subreddit if you haven't found it already, there's a lot of good information there and it helped me out when I was doing my own research on what laptop to get!
Nope, in my country it's all on your shoulders, doesn't matter how poor you are. >Tell us if you get the job.
Southern Europe. You're right, it's not a good choice especially for depressed people, and I'd be haunted at the thought of videos of me staying on the internet forever. The best option would be having some rich lady taking care of me for a little while. It all depends on how stable my situation will be in 6 months max.
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I'm a boundle of anxiety currently because I need to find a job but as usual no one even bothers to send a rejection e-mail. It's been 3 and a half months and so far I had 2 job interviews which both resulted in nothing.
I could probably get a job way faster if I applied to be a cashier or similar bit I suck at math so.fucking.bad, it's literally why I lost my first job, but the place also didn't have a "modern" cash register. I've seen some of the modern ones but I assume I'd still be required to do math in my head here and there which wouldn't end up good.
At this point I'm running out of options ffs
In the same boat Anon; been looking for work since November. Had maybe four interviews since then, only offer was at a methadone clinic an hour away.
Increasingly despondent at finding any work within my field. Everyone seems to have gotten their jobs via internships in college, which leaves me out in the lurch.
Maybe I'll start asking for work when I do open mics. It's all who you know, Anon.
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Have you guys ever considered doing landscaping/summer horticultural work?
Obviously it requires physical labor but in all my years of working it, my crews have mainly been women.
You don't need a degree or much experience either, as they train on the job for whatever you'll be doing.
If you live in a temperate climate (UK, British Columbia, Netherlands) you can do it all year.
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I know it's childish, dumb, vain, whatever, but I'm so jealous of all these young girls who were born with perfect faces and bodies and get to be rich and famous on youtube or instagram solely because of that. Being born ugly is a curse, I have to work extra hard for literally everything.
She's just one random example.
Also, most people outside of lolcow do find her pretty, otherwise she wouldn't have that many followers
Same problem here. I had this really tight group of friends in college about two years ago. Most of them I knew were more "school friends" than actual friends, but two of them I considered as really close to me and we would hang out every day for over a year.
Then all of a sudden, in like the span of a week, one of them completely detaches and we see them less and less until at one point we barely see her at all (it's been two months now).
When I confront her she says nothing has happened and makes it seem like I'm overreacting. But last year when my mother died she would not even come to the funeral when I invited her, with the reason "I don't really like funerals". Yeah no shit Sherlock, nobody likes funerals, but this is supposed to be a moment where you're there for your friends.
I really want to move on and accept that some people are just shitty, but for some reason I'm stuck. I still have no answers as to how things have changed this drastically and I can't get any closure. It really frustrates me, because I usually have a very strong grasp on how people are, but this is the first time in my life I've misjudged someones character and for some reason I just can't let that go and have her not be my friend.
What's her IG? I'm curious.>>397653
Breaking news: you can be pretty with a big nose
I hate my big nose, i cant turn to the side cuz you can see the bump, cant look forward cut you see the huge tip, and the worst os when i smike it pulls downwards so i look like a witch
Yeah, but what if you're ugly and
have all these problems on top of it?
I'm tired of pretty girls whining about being insecure or anxious while flaunting their beauty everywhere. People who really feel like shit can't do that.
I mean, you get free goods in the mail and some sponsorship money but rich is a push. They would maybe be making 20-35k a year. I look like one of these girls too but I want to make money using an actual skill
. It's so vapid to earn money purely on your appearance. It doesn't encourage young women to learn skills and have careers, they are just glorified shop assistants. What happens when they are older and even fillers and surgery can't save them from looking plastic, or they get replaced by a new younger version of themselves. This type of job is fleeting because all people are seeing is a character, they don't even know the real names of these pretty girls they follow.
nta but yeah, obviously, however they have the opportunities to make those 20-35 grand a year or just spending less on buying clothes because of their genetic luck essentially. may not be a lot depending on where you live but it's a nice extra money on top of an actual job you know? if they consistently keep it up for a couple years or so, they can accumulate pretty cushy savings out of thin air. not sure about you, but i wouldn't mind tripling my yearly income if only for a couple years just by posting selfies if i could lol, would make my life much easier. also all that >>397694
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I'm fucking back and frustrated bc new trailer for Euphoria dropped and the one TIME I could see my favorite actress play a lesbian her character is dating a TIM. fuck me
Is this gonna be a new trend of black actresses playing gay characters who date white TIMs cos ion fucking want it.
Give me real lesbians
>>397711>if you get a pimple on your face you'll get double the negative reactions you would get if you were ugly or average. When you're ugly or average and make a small positive change about your appearance you'll get double the amount of praise you would get already being pretty.
this is delusional.
>People think when you're pretty you can't suffer,
nobody thinks this
>When you're pretty people tend to just see you as a fucking object,
all women experience this. ugly girls are treated as objects to use and abuse, for example, "Pull the pig is a ‘game’ or prank were people play and even to hook up with the least attractive person they get sometimes they even make the person fall for them and “pull them” to another state or country and leave them hanging.". you're treated like a wanted object, and ugly girls are treated as unwanted objects – as trash. junk with no feelings and are actively hated for simply existing. being objectified is shit but at least at the end of the day you can exist without being hated or without people trying to sabotage you simply because you're ugly and don't 'deserve' to be alive, as a result
Wow why are you so mad at me did I rustle your jimmies because I said prettiness can bring in problems in your life while you lived all your life thinking being prettier would solve your issues? I just wanted to point out how being born pretty can bring in issues into your life. I have periods of time when I don't take care of myself because I can't do it, I'm not blaming anyone for it. I'm also not interested in most of the mainstream trends and I don't really wear makeup that much. I'm not constantly trying to improve my looks because I have started to focus on other aspects of my life and on other aspects of myself as an individual.
Our society is obsessed with lookism and being ugly or pretty can bring in issues because you'll get unnecessary attention in both cases, when you're pretty you'll get hold to a higher standard and get judged more harshly if your looks somehow degrade in any way, when you're ugly you'll just get negative attention generally but if you make small changes in your appearance you can get praise much easily. For me being pretty was not an enjoyable experience, I would give it away to any of you anons that are obsessed with your looks and think being born pretty can only mean a privilege when it is a privilege and a curse at the same time.
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Make sure you check out the actual landscaping companies in your city area, too.
A lot of them won't put up ads, but if you email their company personally, you can find many more opportunities to work with them (and you get a better idea of what kind of work they do, ie. Residental, city work, industrial)
diff anon but are you being retarded on purpose or are pretty people indeed incapable of any complex thought? just bc my ugly self will get a pity compliment from a friend if i put on a dress once, doesn't mean that they mean it or that anyone will respect me more or think i'm prettier.
how come all these bitches that love to preach how your appearance has nothing to do with anything in life at all whatsoever and and they don't even care about appearances really, only about ~self improvement~ and whatever also happen to be conventionally attractive with no effort kek. all the woes of being an attractive woman are the product of being a
woman versus ugly women get that AND so much more shit on top of it all.
I have never actually seen a girl or woman I would describe as "ugly", and the worth you describe the attractive women having is 100% because society encourages us to be pretty fuckholes for men. It isn't "real" worth because there is an implication of also being a fuckhole, or even making money being merely a fuckhole. People treating attractive girls well because of the perceived potential to empty the contents of their ballsacs into you is, uh less satistfying than it may seem from afar. If a woman is hated for being "ugly" (again, ugly women don't exist/I have never seen a woman I thought was ugly
) it's really because they are seen as no good as a fuckhole. You see the connection? I don't think that's anything to be jealous of. Be a good person, learn a trade, have a good career, have good relationships with friends and family.
The fact our society is full of literal idiots who judge value based on availability to fuck is nobody's problem except the idiots. Being treated badly or well based on appearance are two sides to the same stupid coin.
It isn't real respect, it's not true value, they don't see the pretty woman as any more valuable, just more potential to ejaculate in her. Please don't be jealous of this wonderful "gift" granted to the more attractive people. Also the female admiration that spawns off the male "approval" is exactly as shallow. The idea anyone can make money from their looks is false. It's paid for by corporations, that's exactly why they sponsor women to be vapid "models" for their shit. It makes normal women feel bad about themselves, and buy the shit. Same thing they have always done. There is no actual societal value in being attractive. It's an illusion created specifically to create emotional responses, see thread and make money for a bunch of actually ugly old men, who are delighted they can push the little girls' buttons so easily.
>>397730>It isn't "real" worth because there is an implication of also being a fuckhole, or even making money being merely a fuckhole. People treating attractive girls well because of the perceived potential to empty the contents of their ballsacs into you is, uh less satistfying than it may seem from afar. If a woman is hated for being "ugly" (again, ugly women don't exist/I have never seen a woman I thought was ugly. it's really because they are seen as no good as a fuckhole. You see the connection? >I don't think that's anything to be jealous of. Be a good person, learn a trade, have a good career, have good relationships with friends and family.>The fact our society is full of literal idiots who judge value based on availability to fuck is nobody's problem except the idiots. Being treated badly or well based on appearance are two sides to the same stupid coin.
i can't roll my eyes hard enough at this. do you actually think i was saying that men actually respect and value you as people? because i never said that and i was never under the impression that men truly respect pretty women. i don't give a fuck who men actually respect, what i care about is being able to get through the day and just EXIST without being tormented and abused. do you know what a relief it would feel for ugly girls who can't just get through school or work without being harassed for being 'worthless'? it's not about being hurt by mens internal value system – it's about actually being mistreated regularly. do you have any idea how difficult that makes life? no, obviously not, because you keep bringing this back to "they don't actually respect me!", like that's a similar fate to being harassed and made to feel like a literal leper while just trying to get through the day. obviously it all comes down to sexual utility, but it still makes it a SHITLOAD easier getting through life when you're not being treated poorly for just being ugly, and when you're getting more job offers and opportunities because the halo effect means people automatically like you without you having to say a single word. and it's not just men. older women are so much nastier to ugly girls.