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File: 1553742677244.jpg (52.99 KB, 680x680, DgjmgQfWAAUpZ34.jpg)

No. 391675

Last thread >>>/ot/385665

let it all out

No. 391678

>Meet with guy I just went to sleep with
>No feelings at all
>Meet up with guy whose sweet, clean, straight forward, funny, amazing etc etc,
>Too scared to even stare at him in the eyes
Damn, I guess I'm in love?

No. 391679

I'm failing the class I need to pass for graduation. I don't understand anything that's going on in it anymore.

No. 391686

File: 1553746184548.png (2.75 MB, 2998x1681, emopika.png)

I really am so tired of internet culture and the impact technology has had on me. On my days off I just lie in bed all day cycling through games, tumblr, youtube, lolcow and instagram. I don't have any friends to talk to on the computer it's just that I need the constant flow of information. I've tried to remove myself and do something else like drawing (which I haven't been able to do at all since it got this bad) but then I'm just on my phone or my attention span lasts only a few minutes and it's physically uncomfortable until I get my phone back in front of my face. Even if it's really important for me to go to bed early I end up on my phone until I physically can't keep my eyes open and pass out. I can't just put it away and shut my eyes and drift to sleep. I feel like I have a screen addiction but I don't know how to stop it when my world is almost entirely my bed and my laptop. I feel like I can't even communicate in regular settings anymore like I've become this feral meme culture homunculus

I deleted facebook a few years ago because I felt inadequate and couldn't compete with preforming a successful and interesting life and I wish I had the strength to delete instagram cause it bothers me so much and influences me and I know I'd be able to get closer to the peace I desire without it but if I lose my social media presence then it's really like I stop existing to people who knew me. And I know that's fine and normal and before social media people forgot about each other all the time but now if I do it I'll just be gone. It'll just be "whatever happened to anon?" and otherwise there's really not much of a point to the photos I took. But I want to know what motivated me to make when I was a child, why did I do anything at all before I had to post it?

No. 391688

File: 1553746756496.png (14.55 KB, 175x240, download.png)

I hate that I'm only horny when I'm on my period. I hate my stupid brain that makes me like this. I hate my life

No. 391689

>why did I do anything at all before I had to post it?

Dang anon, you're in deep. Maybe check out mediation (or therapy?) to recenter yourself because your post is full of unhealthy thought processes. Good news is that you're able to recognize it and move in another direction. Social media is poison it strips people of so much. Your life is not a performance.

No. 391691

My Girlfriend is barely interested in me anymore, but when it comes to her kinkier friends she's all ears and it really hurts. I also told her it's fine to confide with me about her weird kinks but she's like "nooooooo." I've tried to explain how I felt about it but she usually just turns it against me and makes me feel like shit. I love her so much too. This sucks.

No. 391692

i dont get shay's thread. she's really young and obviously really dumb but i don't think she's actually that milky. she's really low hanging fruit to me and everyone flips out over everything. like, the littlest thing. she's obviously just a stupid girl.

No. 391702

File: 1553750090192.jpg (231.88 KB, 1018x767, lfNMbjAVFe9ANLXaWhGCdRprQNnY6Z…)

I feel this. I'm able to get horny at other times if I put in the effort in to get myself horny but I'm a big time reactive/mid-low libido type person like my #1 desire is finding a lower libido guy who won't constantly be trying to fuck. I'm learning to be ok with the fact that I will never have a high libido though, and when I do its usually temporary. I literally haven't had sex for almost 2 years, and don't get me wrong I still enjoy sex but honestly I'm just too lazy and disheartened to even try at this point. I've given tinder 3 or 4 shots and the one guy I met off there was some dude in a punk band who had an obsession with true crime and told me about how his nipple piercing once got infected and filled with pus on the first date and my last boyfriend thought my vagina's natural lubrication was gross plus my dating pool is extremely limited as in it doesn't really even exist without the aid of apps so putting all that into consideration I'm not surprised I have pretty much no desire to go and get dicked down anytime soon.

No. 391728

I don't ever want to be beholden to one ideology or idea but sometimes I feel like if I don't 100 percent follow through than I'm doing it wrong. There's this pressure to perform these certain ideologies a certain way or else you're just another poser. Sorry this is vague but I'm getting a bit annoyed about online politics/ideologies that don't let you think or be yourself

No. 391732

That's how it is with most cows tbh, no milk just nitpicking, maybe I'm just getting too old to give a shit about some rando girls hair and razor bumps

The only cows that genuinely have milk are the cows known for abuse or doing drugs, it is fun to watch trainwrecks though

No. 391733

>Have a lot of free time and friend's birthday is coming up
>First time since I'm here that I have time to organize something nice for someone
>Get nice presents, buy lots of cake decorations and bake a few test cakes to make sure the final one will be perfect
>Buy a nice bottle of a wine I know he likes
>Paint a birthday card myself and get as many of his friends as possible to sign it even if they can't come to the party
And now, I'm getting cold feet because I'm afraid he's going to think I'm love-bombing him or something. We've only known each other for half a year but I really enjoy his company and I'm only doing what I'd like to get for my own birthday, so it's not creepy right?

No. 391739

File: 1553768024818.jpg (70.61 KB, 445x581, 3283538_orig.jpg)

you LOVE him

No. 391750

I agree with above, if it were just simple things then I'd understand. Organising the party, knowing his favourite drink and getting it for him (depending on the price), a gift and a card (depending on just how many random people you tracked down and got to sign). But you literally made multiple test cakes so it would be "perfect". Unless you're really artistic tone down the cake because it would be really weird otherwise, and please don't tell him about the multiple cakes thing. It's the main potential marker that you went a little OTT for this guy you obviously really like which might make things really awkward for the guy at his own party. Good thing men are oblivious and he might not feel obligated to make sure you get something in return for this
It's too late to turn back now simply due to the card, it would be really suspicious so just go through with it. Also, it being what you'd want for your birthday is slightly irrelevant if no one else knows it so hopefully they do (and hopefully they don't take this as you doing all this with the expectation of getting this in return for your birthday)
Next time just ask the guy out, also I have no idea if this is the case but maybe check to see if you're perhaps entitled as a person because expecting your friends to take the time to bake and create the "perfect cake" for your birthday and paint a custom card for you is a bit much. Yeah it's nice and I'm sure few would protest depending on the circumstances, but it's a lot to specifically want

No. 391751

same bro, i pretty much only get horny during or around my period too. (i don't mind tho bc i'm a lonely bitch and i don't mind my own period blood) any smart anons got a scientific explanation for this shit? i'm guessing hormones or something

No. 391765

I fucking hate disgusting ass people that spend 20-30 minutes hacking and spitting up in the morning or night.
It is so fucking annoying and disgusting to listen to, go to the fucking doctor if your throat or nose is that fucking bad.
I've never in my life ever felt the need to compulsively cough and hack up gross fucking mucus repeatedly.

Men seem to do this so much more (along with just publically spitting on the street, fucking degenerates) and it's just SO fucking loud.
Disgusting fucking animals.

No. 391769

i feel for you anon. ex’s roommate did it every morning at 6 am. one day i lost my shit and yelled “holy fuck please stop.” it worked for like two days and then started again. you should do some annoying loud shit while he sleeps.

No. 391772

I moved out and I want to get a pet so badly. I get really lonely and depressed and I think having an animal to keep me company would help. I want to adopt a cat so badly (I miss my family's cat so much!) but I don't know if my roommates would be okay with it. As far as I know they're dog people but fine/neutral towards cats but I don't know if that necessarily means they would be okay living with one.

I also love rats and kinda want to get a pair instead but I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to dedicate myself to giving them the best life possible. They're appealing because I can keep them in my room so my roommates would never have to see or interact with them if they don't want to. But they are prone to getting sick and vet bills aren't cheap… Ugh I wish I lived in an apartment building that was strictly no pets so I wouldn't be so tempted.

No. 391775

I'm sorry anon, I lost it at feral meme culture homunculus.
I feel like I'm on my way there too though and it's rough. I only tear myself away to exercise and pay attention in my classes but otherwise it's fucking hard. I swear I can feel the dopamine rush in when I open up social media or an imageboard to check what's new.

I agree with >>391689 that you should seek outside help though, since it seems you aren't able to enjoy anything by itself anymore at all. That's extreme.

No. 391782

most people do that as a reflex when they're stressed so…

No. 391783

so i was just called a nigger unprovoked by some white dude in his car.All because I put my hoodie on. Fuck any and everyone who says black people are "just being dramatic" or we like to pull the "race card" No we literally get attacked by just being ourselves and putting on hoodies. Its disgusting

No. 391786

File: 1553778943314.jpg (9.98 KB, 235x234, b0805282aeb89619d8b15e3b84c942…)

I feel like upvotes and down votes are a bad idea when it comes to depresion forums. Sometimes I look at the 3 measly upvotes I get and feel lonely. I started trying to write my depression posts differently (clickabit title, relatable comment, encouraging replies) so people would care. I kind of realized how fucked up that is now.

No. 391787

Anon, please leave/delete your accounts on depression forums they in no way will help you. The constant echo-chamber of negativity can't be could for you, regardless of upvotes/downvotes.

No. 391788

why'd you have the hoodie on?

No. 391792

>>391788 dont ask stupid questions you dumb bitch take it to the stupid questions thread. I bet you wouldnt ask a poor white girl in a miniskirt why she was wearing a skirt if she was venting about being assaulted. You stupid daft cunt

No. 391796

Hate my job. Boss is mad about stupid stuff all time like: u did not clean from the leftttt side like i told u but from the other oneeee i saw it on cam. Like wtf..it was all clean so what the f problem?

No. 391801

i'm pregnant oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

No. 391805

you sound really fucking stupid.

No. 391806

What’s the plan anon?

No. 391807

File: 1553785394715.gif (529.33 KB, 275x156, 1476015403281.gif)

I've spent this whole year crying and fighting with my mom.
Last year I dropped out of uni because I didn't study enough. However I managed to get into a new one but I have to pay for each year. Despite that I still can't force myself to take this seriously and get to work.
I just don't seem to have the energy for anything, not even my hobbies that I used to enjoy before.
Because of this my mom keeps arguing with me and throwing me into crisis' which make me feel even more useless and not want to do anything.
I always thought I'd get frustrated with myself and finally get my shit together, but I just keep caring less and less.
I hate going on fb and insta and seeing other people having fun, doing well in uni, getting jobs, getting married etc.

I have another test soon, but I can't study cuz I keep crying

I hate what my life has turned into

Can someone please help? Idk what's wrong with me

No. 391813

Hey guys, female Elliot Rodger here.

>see girl I went to high school with at university (we talked once)

>she's conventionally less attractive than me (overweight with no hips, masculine face, badly styled)
>she has a boyfriend who would be my dream boyfriend
I'm going to fucking kill myself.
What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not model tier myself (long torso, acne scars, downturned eyes, ethnic nose) but jesus christ. If she can get one why can't I? Am I really that awful a person?

>inb4 clearly just look what you posted

I'm sure we can admit there are conventional standards though, look where we are. And I'm never shitty in real life about looks so I don't fucking know what's up.
Is it because I'm not fully white? I know men rank pure white girls as the best. Is it my poor social skills being obvious just by looking at me? Can everyone tell how angry I am all the time?

Maybe it's for the best since if I got one I'd just hate him and never let him touch me because I have weird hangups. Not to mention I can't bring myself to respect men as human beings.

Idk where this post went I'm all over the place. I'm just tired of existing as myself but also don't really want to die. I don't know what to do. Nothing is good including me.

Pls tell me to kms.

No. 391814

>No social skills
>Triggered this easily
>Constantly angry
>Doesn't see men as human beings
>Blames white people for their own shortcomings

Yeah anon, you sound like a catch…

No. 391816

I’m a teacher, and today was just…rough. I genuinely like the students at my school, and I know they just have their off days as adolescents, but today such a weird combination of apathy/discourtesy/disrespect in 2/3 of my classes that I’m so emotionally drained. I know that writing journal entries or going through a sonnet can’t be fun for everyone, but I do my best to keep it engaging. It can be really frustrating to face a room of glazed eyes or for a student to flat out say, “Nobody want to do this” before we’ve even started the lesson.

No. 391821

me no like having depressers and the anxieties simultaneously thats juts gay

No. 391822

thank you for working hard to educate tomorrow's adults, anon.

if it helps, there are definitely students in your class who appreciate you and your lessons, but don't want to say so in case they get bullied because it's not "cool". teenagers are so hung up on wanting to look good in front of their peers, like they don't care about anything and are too good for school, but it's usually an act.

No. 391826

File: 1553788848490.jpg (24.46 KB, 543x370, hormonecycle.jpg)

If day 1 is your period, then day 14 marks ovulation. There's usually an uptick in testosterone (yellow line) around then and is at its highest either around ovulation and/or in the luteal phase right before your period (aka the waiting phase, this will either end with a period or a pregnancy). Progesterone drops off around day 28 and if the egg isn't fertilized, this triggers the shedding of the uterine lining otherwise known as a period and the cycle starts all over again. If the egg IS fertilized then progesterone won't drop off and instead increase to prevent further ovulation during pregnancy.

Biologically this makes sense in terms of getting pregnant, higher sex drive = higher chance of seeking out/having sex and getting pregnant (if you don't use contraceptives).

No. 391830

This made me smile, anon. Thank you. I usually only get grief from about a handful of students, and the rest are usually attentive or at least very polite. I love what I do but I do know that ELA/writing isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. Today was just a major downer. I know teacher burn out is very common, so I wanted to vent a bit and take a nap haha. Hopefully everyone will be in a good mood tomorrow!

No. 391838

I tend to talk to my older sister about my personal problems. Guess it's a bad habit though because last night, she pretty much dismissed my feelings when I was venting a bit about my recent break up. I told her I felt dismissed by her and she proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't rely on finding validation for my issues from other people. I mean, am I just supposed to shut the fuck up and just bottle it in then? For the most part, I don't talk to my friends about my issues and just keep it between her and I. I guess there's truth to her words but it's still lame for her to dismiss my feelings outright.

No. 391857

As an older sister, it can be very fucking annoying to listen to your younger siblings problems on a very consistent basis, when you have problems of you own. Ever thought to ask your sister about her life or struggles of the moment? I’ve snapped at a selfish younger sibling for this, so if you have a different relationship sorry for implying, but don’t forget venting and support is a two way street.

No. 391866

Yeah, I can imagine that and understand even if she says that isn't the case. I always ask how she's doing though and she NEVER talks about herself which kind of bugs me honestly. Like even when outright ask her out "How are you doing?" she almost always ignores that question. I wish she can be more open with me and I don't understand why she isn't. Like I want a closer relationship to my sister and don't want it to be one-sided but sometimes she sends very mixed messages.

No. 391868

so kinda unrelated but pertaining to periods

my period has lasted almost 5 days which is very out of character. usually it lasts 2 days max. my flow was also way heavier than usual and my pms symptoms have been especially horribly and have continued through this entire duration

has anyone experienced something similar or know why this might be happening? the emotional shit is the worst part, I want to go back to feeling normal

No. 391872

How old are you? My period symptoms and flow changed a ton from when I was 18 to now (currently 21), sometimes it's normal

No. 391874

I'm 22

No. 391877

Why does this sound like it was written by a scrote?

No. 391878

If she calls herself a female Elliot, she probably spends all her time on /r9k/. Probably even made a thread there before posting here. Maybe she didn't get enough attention from the robots.

No. 391880

File: 1553799968334.png (27.53 KB, 499x322, tumblr_inline_mus1wcJpI21ql3hm…)

My dad is horrible when it comes to reading social cues from me
Like not to be insensitive, but hes on 'holly shit how have you not raped any one' levels.

He has a habit of asking small questions and not taking no for an answer. If you say no he'll just repeat the question until you say yes ('are you sure '10 times in a row as his voice slowly gets sterner), act moody over you saying no (his mood gets ruined if you refuse to take a bite of his food), or simply refuse to leave until you say yes.

This stuff isn't that bad, but he can't put together how he's kind if forcefully making people do what he wants.

Like one time when I was a teen he wanted to look at my poetry and it was a bunch of angst shit so I wasn't comfortable showing it to him. Well it turned into a mexican stand off where in he refused to leave the room until I showed him my poetry. I broke down in tears and he still refused to leave. After a a few minutes I just gave up and said yes.

That memory wouldn't be as bad to me, but after the event happened he still can't mentally figure out that I was forced into saying yes during that poetry thing. When ever I told he I felt forced all he can say is "but you said yes" or "at least I didn't look behind your back". Like how? How can someone think their teen breaking into tears is still a yes?

This event kind of ruined mt relationship with my dad because I was to scared of anothet event like that happening again, but with sonething more serous.

Anyhow this rant was inspired by another conversation were my dad came to the stunning conclusion that falling asleep during a movie someone chose can and will be interpreted as rude (hes not going to fix it though. He just says its physicaly impossible for him to stay awake)

No. 391884

File: 1553801567760.jpg (6.45 KB, 225x225, 1553432536822.jpg)

I want to draw so fucking badly but every time i even try i get a really bad headache, and it's not even about the drawing. Even picking up the pen feels exhausting now. I think i'm actually fucking dying. This hobby i've been doing for over a decade now is so unberably exhausting now. I've tried getting on ritalin and that doesn't work either, in fact i took it for over 2 months and it did nothing to help my problem. My brain actually feels like it's decomposing.

No. 391887

>Anyhow this rant was inspired by another conversation were my dad came to the stunning conclusion that falling asleep during a movie someone chose can and will be interpreted as rude (hes not going to fix it though. He just says its physicaly impossible for him to stay awake)
Did you mean isn't rude? I'm confused who fell asleep.

You're dad's a dipshit but you sound beyond sensitive and need to get over yourself. Especially with that last part if you think your dad falling sleep during a movie is rude. No one wants to watch your boring shit unless it's a classic.

No. 391891

You are a male so kys.

No. 391894

i dunno anon, women who browse /r9k/ tend to act exactly the same as the men, look at spoony and mystery.

No. 391899

File: 1553802603652.png (590.82 KB, 606x726, Screen Shot 2019-03-20 at 11.4…)

>conventional standards
>I know men rank pure white girls as the best.
Yes, anon. Each year men gather together at the International Notfemale Collective Exhibition Liaison and vote upon the superior ethnicity of females. This vote is final and men are not allowed to have preferences outside of the declared winner, and in fact they lose absolutely all sexual attraction to anyone who isn't in this group.

If this isn't a scrote, I genuinely feel bad for you anon, get treated for that BPD

No. 391900

I just don't know where to go from here. I can't develop my social skills because I'm ugly so everyone immediately hates me. I dont know how other below average people have the confidence to interact with others. Not in a mean way, its just fucking hard.
Being alienated makes me weird about people, and makes me angry about how theoretically awful they could be.

It's probably too late for me and I should just accept that I need to keep to myself forever. I take responsibility for my shittiness anyway.

Elliot bit was a joke because I know how simultaneously narcissistic, insecure, and stupid I sound.
I'm not a man. Although I guess a woman with anger issues is about as useless and inhuman as a man, so that's fair. Funny since the last time I vented about my irrational anger another anon also called me a man.

I only visited r9k for a period of about 6 months last year and have never started a thread there. The place just made me hate men more.

No. 391902

people only hate you cause they can tell you're fucking ugly on the inside.

No. 391903

The issue is not with other people alienating you, but you alienating yourself.

No. 391906

I have violent fantasies about scratching out the eyeballs of my ex's new girl.

She's a dumpy scene chick and it probably kills me that I'm so much prettier than her, but the thought that someone's taken my man sends me fucking feral

He left me for her and started talking to her while we were dating. Although she knew we were together.

I know it's not her fault. But she took something that belonged to me.

No. 391907

*Kills her, not me, lmoa

No. 391912

Could they possibly be stress headaches? Because it sounds like artist burn out, I would love to be able to draw and paint how I used to but it can feel exhausting, like you said. And if you're forcing yourself to do something you find exhausting then stress headaches could very well follow. I used to get them all the time because of work

No. 391913

Firstly, I am mad at 'my man' - who is not my man anymore. I know it's not her fault as i said.

I don't blame her at all but it doesnt change the fact that i want to tear her fucking eyes out. I'm genuinely afraid that I'll do it

No. 391915

I’m sorry anon, I’m deleting bc my reply sounded retarded

But you genuinely sound like a fucking psycho and should seek help if it’s affecting you so much

No. 391917

File: 1553803518583.gif (125.66 KB, 350x350, 7122435__0716e5792d589c0105004…)

>She's a dumpy scene chick
>it probably kills her that I'm so much prettier than her
> the thought that someone's taken my man sends me fucking feral
>But she took something that belonged to me.

>I am mad at 'my man'
>I don't blame her at all

You are inconsistent

No. 391918

Is this the same girl that posted her selfie in a thread a few weeks back claiming to be a model?

No. 391919

Anon he didn't "belong" to you, and yeah its shitty that he started talking to her while you were dating but that's on him.
>Ugh I'm just so much prettier than her
If there's anything that indicates severe self esteem issues, its saying shit like this. Go to therapy and work on your shitty personality flaws or don't date.

No. 391920


I wanna get help

No. 391921

This happened a few days ago, haven't previously posted about it, so no

No. 391922


What help is there though? The only way I'll ever feel sane is if I rob her of her sight. That's the only way to make it even.

No. 391924

yeah stfu if you “wanted help” you wouldn’t post your unhinged rants on a vent gossip forum obviously seeking validation for your behaviors

it honestly sounds like you’re lying about how you don’t hate this girl and just want to whine about her when it’s obvious to anyone who can read that your boyfriend is obviously the bigger problem in this picture

No. 391927

better yet claw your own fucking eyes out so you don’t have to see them ever see them again

No. 391928


I'm only posting this so that I can't actually do it - because there's now evidence. That's how afraid I am that I'll actually attempt to take her sight

No. 391929

Oh my god, you're such an annoying drama queen, get a fucking life you loser.
Just shut the fuck up about it or go do it you faggot.

Or you could try building a personality instead of having your pitiful relationship define your entire existence.

Scum like you makes me sick.

No. 391930

Get professional help.

No. 391931

>claw other girl's eyes out
>she is blinded
>your ex bf finds out his crazy ex attacked his new gf and made her blind
>he dotes on her like crazy, and they become closer than ever
>lots of gushing about how "#blessed" she is to have him and how in love they are
Then what do you do? Just curious.

No. 391933

>What help is there?
There you go anon, and I'm not joking. If you seriously feel like you can't help but go and maim someone just because they're dating someone else, consider fucking checking yourself into somewhere you can get the help and attention you so obviously want.

No. 391934


maybe I am acting retarded. Thank u for the tough love anons

No. 391936

as annoying as this retard is, this is actually a cute mental image anon (sans the eye clawing)

good job for adding some levity to this train wreck

No. 391941

>he grows closer to her and actually stays
Lol, you're giving a man like that too much credit.
>clawanon takes the girl's eyes
>suddenly disability and burdens, responsibilities ensue
>man pretends to be supportive but the blindness is a constant reminder of the past
>blindanon starts to become not as "fun" for clawanon's ex man
>man starts chatting up another dumpy girl on the side
>blindness makes the cheating and moving process easier as he literally cannot be caught
>man gaslights blind girl and slowly introduces the notion that very few men can accommodate the responsibility of a woman who is blind
>blindanon's self esteem drops so rapidly that she starts to accept what a burden she has become regardless of what's reasonable
>man leaves blindanon but on the note that he is the "good" guy who tried to be supportive but ultimately couldn't shoulder the pain

Just spitballing hypotheticals. This is fun!

No. 391942

I think so, i've never experienced something like this before. I've seen artblock and burn out, but this is something else. I think it's something to do with stress headaches just like you said. This is a sign i need to change up my medication… It has to be psych meds because i've been getting plenty of good sleep, or at least that's what i think.

No. 391961

>I have violent fantasies about scratching out the eyeballs of my ex's new girl.
What is it with girls who were dumped talking about clawing the eyeballs out of their ex's new girlfriends? I just had to distance myself from a friend for going on these rants about eyeball maiming about another one of my friends for being with her ex. Don't be that pathetic bitch who gets crazy possessive of a guy after he breaks up with her and hates any girl he gets with after. He probably dumped you for her for a reason.

No. 391964

I fell victim to my bfs ex. Literally never met her, she's about 5 years older but she did a lot of digging on me. She got back in touch with people with his best mates gf to shit talk me amongst other shit. She scares me a bit so I don't want to dox myself lol. She's also a hulking woman I would be terrified if she saw me in person. I'm not even the girl he dated after her I'm just the one he got serious with. She spoke about a claim to him to the other girl that's mutual between us and she told me. She still blogs about him and his family. She has this public blog I got directed too because she's so attention starved her fb page wasn't suffice she needed an entire separate outlet for her ramblings. She's a holistic healer lol

No. 391970

>Everyone hates me because I'm ugly
No, they hate you because you're a shitty person with a shitty personality. Stop blaming your problems on appearance. Do you really think someone is going to hate you because of your fucking torso?

I would bet that the girl with a boyfriend, who you think is so much uglier than you, at least has a personality outside of obsessing about her appearance and the appearance of others… you honestly probably are a lost cause unless you get your shit together, jesus christ.

No. 391978

File: 1553811289464.jpg (11.88 KB, 210x240, 1536697965610.jpg)

>been at new job for a little over a month
>lowest rung at the office, can't perform any kind of medical services so I'm usually running paperwork
>get asked to drop off paperwork to the office nextdoor on my way out today
>girl that does the corporate filing seems a bit like a drama queen based on my previous impressions, really immature but thinks she's alpha
>go into office
>not in her room but I see her in another
>like to give files in person since they contain personal info, there's no reason for me to set it someplace unsecured in her office if she's literally right the fuck there
>besides I don't want to be liable in case shit gets lost
>notice she's having a conversation with a male
>make eye contact with her while holding up the folder, she ignores me
>I assume whatever it is that it's work related and she'd either pause or be out in another minute
>"So why can't you just do this for me? …. Slander!"
>try not to eavesdrop outside the door but it sounds like a heated exchange and about something more personal and not work related
>give it another minute for her to realize I'm here on business
>she approaches the door just to slam it shut in front of me
>make eye contact with a different office girl who's a lot nicer and ask her to give corporate girl the files

I was going to beat myself up for not reading the room quicker, but then I realized that's so unprofessional to be arguing in an open office like that. She must certainly not be that busy and have the energy at the end of the day to argue.
It irritates me how these seemingly unqualified and juvenile people get into these positions of power.

No. 391979

yeah, and it only gets worse

I’d rather put up with sexual harassment from retarded old boomer males than have to deal with the sniveling and neurotic personalities of young professionals (usually women but some young men can be this way too)

No. 391980

i keep eyeing this guy and he does it back and i had a chance to ask his friend that i was interested in him but i pussied out lol. i only have like, 4 more days within the upcoming weeks of chances… i want to do it but oof it’s scary

No. 391981

File: 1553812079153.jpg (28.66 KB, 500x424, C0NlLuhWQAA60-j.jpg)

>see promising rarepair fanfic
>btw character 2 is trans
Every time. Just let me read my quality gay porn pls

No. 391982

do it anon! clearly you're a cutie

No. 391983

File: 1553812163105.png (1.42 MB, 750x1334, FE65B081-187F-430F-AFC9-424E1C…)

I’m sick of being mom zoned. I have become an outlet for random male coworkers to dump all of their women/personal life problems on. No matter where I go, I attract men who will call or text me randomly with their problems. Coworkers will even come into my office to sit and talk.

The kicker is I’m engaged. I don’t flirt with anyone and I am very quiet. I don’t go out of my way to ask people about their lives, but somehow I always end up in the position of therapist.

No. 391985

monetize it

No. 391986

I hated this back when I was reading a lot of fan fiction. Something about turning a male character into a ftm trans for porn fics is extremely gross.

No. 391992

I think I'm gonna lose my only close friend and I want to cry. (Like I have other friends but they live far now).
We've been friends for ages like around 9 years and we're 21. We haven't met up in a while but recently he's been acting weird
>calls me all this cutesy things >keeps commenting on how good I look
>stalks my social media and notices every little change in anything
>send videos of him singing love songs I like
>messages excessively

Am I overreacting? This is really strange to me. And I don't like him like that at all, it's weirding me out. I dunno if I should distance myself but then I would have no one to talk to.

No. 391994

File: 1553813218234.png (660.73 KB, 733x738, fuck.PNG)

"If Cosby got in trouble for doing what he did, Cardi B should get in trouble for what she did too". Why are people so stupid? Some old fuck drugging and raping many women is not the same as some woman drugging some men and robbing them. Robbing someone is not the same as rape. They're no where near comparable. I'd rather be robbed any day that have someone fucking drug and rape me. Everyone is screaming at the Cardi B situation, "If it was a man, he'd be cancelled right away and put in jail!", "Double standards", "Society is more lenient on women". Yet, there are thousands of cases of men raping women and children everyday that don't get in trouble or do little to no time in jail. Plenty of male celebrities have done fucked up shit and are still allowed to perform their career without being "canceled". How many famous men have beat the shit out of their wives again? If a woman does something like drugging someone and taking advantage of them, it makes headlines because it's so rare. Meanwhile men do this shit everyday and no one bats an eye because it's practically expected.

No. 391999

>start texting guy I met off r9k
>he seems sweet and I'm, like, really into him
>he keeps calling me beautiful and pretty and stuff
>ask if he has a girlfriend
>he goes silent
>text him two hours later "I didn't mean it in a flirty way if that's what drove you away"
>still no answer
I fucked it up didn't I?

No. 392000

“>start texting guy I met off r9k”
yeah I think you fucked it up right about there anon

No. 392001

be thankful you dogded a bullet

No. 392007

I'd advised against browsing that shithole in the first place but you dodged a bullet there. A lot of anons here have had awful experiences with guys off /r9k/. My ex who I met on there years back would try to contact women from /r9k/ to try to get their nudes and would make up fake stories about our relationship to try to win their sympathy.

No. 392009

i really love my boyfriend but lately I've been fantasizing about being with another girl, I wouldn't cheat on him but there's just something so different about qt girls that gets me so flustered and shy. I know I can't tell him because that's kinda fucked up to tell him and he would get so insecure, but it's becoming a real nuisance at this point :(

No. 392010

is there any way you can get away from your mom and spend less time together? sounds like you don't have a very healthy relationship

No. 392015

>current year
>meeting guys on r9k
Just why? What could possibly make you think that is a good idea?

No. 392020

Not only meeting a guy from r9k but giving him her phone number. What a fucking retard lmao.

No. 392027

inb4 he makes a thread on you posting your messages and scoffing that you're a clingy roastie or something.

No. 392040

I had an easy fucking IN to talk to the guy I want to hook up with and I fucking blew it, and I have to wait another week to see him. he better not be surrounded by friends next time dammit

No. 392044

If you've always been close then maybe she is trying to make you learn how to sort out your own issues and talk to people of your own age. I have this same problem with my younger sister. When we were growing up I was her main care giver because our mother was an abusive alcoholic. My sister is now at university and she's still dependent on me for support. I love her so much it's difficult for me to tell her no and be more strict with her but she's an adult now and needs to live her own life.

No. 392051

I’m starting to realize that my family actually doesn’t have my best interest at heart.

I’m 27 with pretty bad social anxiety and because of that, I would depend on my parents (by parents I mean mom and aunt, who pretty much raised me) while I pushed everyone away save for a few. I still live at home. Tried moving out a few times but ended up coming back because of expensive sand feeling “lonely” (starting to realize that I was terribly codependent with them).

My mom isn’t actually so bad. She can be pretty nasty when she’s in a bad mood but it doesn’t happen to often and she can be resonable for the most part. My aunt, on the other hand, has rather toxic tendencies to her. She says that she doesn’t think I can live on my own and acts like I can’t do anything by myself. She likes to play up my mental illness to the point where she thinks I’m a child.

She also has a savior complex and has “adopted” a few of my friends to live with us for several years. I love my friends but at the end of the day I need my space. Aunt never got this and acted like I was being irritational for not being 100% Witt this situation.

The final straw was last year my aunt moved my friend’s little sister and her baby into my room. This bitch never said thank you and for months, I had litteraly no personal space. Since she left to go and couch surf at someone else’s place, I have told my parents that I thought that it was a callous and hurtful decision to make since it seemed like they were prioritizing a random girl over their own relative. Mom has at least said sorry. My aunt? Lol she whines and acts like I have the nerve to complain when she’s has done “so much” for me (lol, spoken like a true narc).

Worse thing is, they’re moving about an hour away from where I go to work and school. I already don’t want to move with them because it’s already takes super long to get to school/work but Aunt guilt trips me into living with them because it’s “best for me”. Fuck no. Get me out of here pls.

Tl;DR: Aunt has narc tendencies and a savior complex. Mom is alright but enables my aunt because they’re super codependent together. Realized that I’m the third wheel in this mess but scared to leave because I feel like I’m gonna crawl back to them. Sorry for writing a novel.

No. 392052

File: 1553823199636.jpg (82.68 KB, 540x960, D2snGaVWoAAkhZ3.jpg large.jpg)

She did rape them, though.

No. 392053

F for your friendship. His hormones kicked in

No. 392054

Fucks me off that anyone bringing up the fact that him having a fiancé and not only going to a strip club but also getting a stripper to go back to his room being scummy is immediately bombarded with people whining about victim blaming when that’s not what it is at all. Pointing out that someone is a shithead for trying to cheat on their fiancé isn’t the same as saying he deserved it. But it’s not surprising considering these accusations come from the same men that then go on to screech about how ACTUALLY it’s men that get raped the most!!

No. 392056

Agreed. He sounds pretty sleazy for going to a hotel room with Cardi when he had a fiancée (what did he think was gonna happen? Lol) but what she did was still rape and therefore terrible. Just because the victim is scummy or a bad person doesn’t make the crime justified.

No. 392057

My puppy died and no one cared or was there for me, I needed a blood transfusion and no one cared, my birthday passed and everyone abandoned me, the most I got was a monotone happy birthday from my parents and boyfriend, all of my friends are ignoring, I brought a cake and invited my friends and family to a party and nobody showed up, I've been horribly depressed for the past week and no one seems to care, I'm honestly just considering giving up and killing myself unless there's just some sort of sign someone gives a shit about me

No. 392058

Don’t do it, anon. People care. If you feel like you’re being ignored, confront someone about it. Chances are they mean well. They just have their head up their ass. Hang in there.

No. 392061

I was in a music video for an indie singer, and I looked so bad in it. My hair looks so disgustingly greasy and frizzy, and my face looks so fat. I knew the lighting was harsh, but I didn't think it'd completely erase any definition in my face and make my hair look so gross.

I don't understand. I keep thinking "Is that what I really look like??", looking back to photos of myself taken before (selfies and non selfies) outdoors in natural lighting, or at night, and the answer is a big no. I definitely don't look all weird and blobby like in the video. It could be worse, but I'm still upset that I can't show any of my online friends or anything. This really sucks.

No. 392063

File: 1553826581697.jpg (21.56 KB, 500x281, ubwJV01tr6uo5.jpg)

>mfw walking into that monkey haters thread

People that participate in a community dedicated to the abuse of any kind of animal are fucking scum.

No. 392071

File: 1553828767659.jpg (21.55 KB, 275x262, 1545281899146.jpg)

I can't stop going through every commentor's profile and seeing if they've uploaded any videos or have favorited playlists.
Most of them are completely empty random first name last name accounts.
Some of the comments really do seem like bot responses, but some channels have Patreons.

Maybe there really are just that many sick, demented fucks out there that congregate online. This stuff is extremely similar to crush videos or irl vore fetish shit.

No. 392078

just discovered the reason I've been gaining so much weight the past 5 months/finding a new stretch mark every day is because of the depo shot. I'm fucking heartbroken. I've tried all other forms of both control to stop my period and this is not going to work either. All I want is for my uterus to be taken out, it's going to go to NO use inside me (I'm gay as fuck and also repulsed by the idea of creating a child) and it seriously makes me consider suicide at this point. I don't want to have to ingest hormones for the next 30 years of my life just to forget that I have a uterus, my period drives me into serious depression and makes me feel so uncomfortable in my skin. But every time I mention it to my ob/gyn she just LAUGHS. like I'm joking. But I fucking hate it. The whole "you'll get married and want to have babies" is disgusting to me. I'm gay, first of all, so you're telling me that a man who doesn't exist has more say over what happens to my body than I do?

At this point I'm even considering "transitioning" for a year or two just to get "bottom surgery" and then stop "transitioning" (quotes because I do not want to be a man but if that's what it's gonna take to get it removed, I'll fucking do it.) It's better than dying. At this point it looks like it's the only way that anyone will take me seriously when I say I feel like my uterus is not a part of me and should not be inside of me and causes me major dysphoria just to think about.

No. 392087

Not going to knock you for talking to guys off r9k, but EXTREMELY FEW of them are of ANY quality. There's literally only one I know of and he consistently disappears for varied amounts of time to pick up girls IRL.

It kind of sucks, actually. Fuck him for that.

No. 392089

Removing a uterus has more complications than just infertility, you’d be at serious risk of all your organs collapsing. You’d also go into early menopause, having a hysterectomy is honestly a shit show all around.

What you need is therapy, not seriously invasive and life changing surgery.

No. 392091

Does regular birth control skipping the sugar pills not work for you? It made me bleed for a month straight then worked fine for years after.

No. 392093

as someone who used to volunteer at an animal shelter where I met abused and abandoned dogs and cats seeing animals be tormented and people derive pleasure from their torment is nothing short of disgusting to me. I've seen a cat who's been shot in the head survive, with a scar forever embedded on her face, I've seen dogs emacidated with almost no fur… I've seen some shit, but I've also seen the recovery process for abused animals, which gave me faith in humanity. then shit like this revokes my faith in humanity again.

it's pure sociopathy to not only condone animal torture but to seek it out and continue to view it. the fact that there's a community for crush videos and now monkey torment disgusts me so much as someone who loves animals. how demented do you have to be to catalogue animal abuse videos?

No. 392095

I mean the stretch marks suck but they're not the end of the world. That and weight gain are the most vain things to be upset about considering the black box warning for depo is bone density loss over time, even after you stop using.

Anon I feel like I can speak from authority on this. My mom forced me to take the depo shot from 15-17 and among the side effects you described, I remember that birth control making my emotions manic and rollercoaster-like. Not only that, but I had breakthrough bleeding and spotting all the time. It's a shitty form of bc on many levels and obviously it's not an appropriate fit for you.

Out of curiosity, have you tried the arm implant? The worst side effect for me is weight gain and dryness but I never have a period and at least I don't have to worry about my bones crumbling inside me. Plus it's good for 3 years so I don't have to show at appointments ever. I know this also isn't for everyone but I don't agree that sterilization is the answer for women, like another anon mentioned, we are more prone to suffer physical consequences from it that are more severe than a few stretch marks and weight gain.

No. 392096

>serious risk of all your organs collapsing
sure, there's a risk of that, but plenty of people have hysterectomies and don't have it happen to them. My mother got a hysterectomy when I was born almost 25 years ago, and none of her organs have collapsed. If they need to take my vagina out as well to lower the risk, that's fine. Also, my grandmother and great grandmother both died of uterine cancer, so I have an actually serious risk of developing uterine cancer as well. It would be wise to get it out before I die of cancer.

I'm keeping my ovaries no matter what. My eggs are dying with me. Therefore I wouldn't go through early menopause.

I am in therapy. I spoke to my therapist about this earlier today, and she agrees it's going to be necessary for me at some point, whether because of cancer or because I'm suicidal.

I tried in high school and it didn't work. I'm going to ask my gyno if there's any other pill that might work for me. But again, I don't want to have to ingest pills daily for the next 30 years. I see this as my last resort before serious steps need to be taken.

No. 392097

File: 1553833889699.jpg (58 KB, 640x640, 053af9a86a8a63b438cc14435bdf69…)

>want the d
>get on tinder and snap
>guy who is cute messages me
>start talking dirty, just want a hookup for tonight
>sends me gif of him jacking off
>lives 20 minutes away
>okay so meetup with me
>"next week"
>"call me old fashioned but I am not into hookups before I get to know someone and hang out"

…………….motherfucker you sent me a video of you pumping your cock. You're not "old fashioned" or traditional, gtfo with this little bitch cold feet shit. Fucking dumb fleshsack. I'm so mad and horny and I'm about ready to slap a mother with my dildo.
The one night I wanna use the "cock carousel" card and get laid and dudes are being cowards.

No. 392101

had the arm implant for a year and bled for 60% of that time. It had the opposite effect of what I was looking for.

and yeah, bone density loss is another good reason why I don't want to have to use hormones to keep me alive. Adding more side effects to that list that make me feel like shit about myself is what is tipping the balance.

This is a vent thread, y'all, not a "try to convince me I'm wrong for feeling so hopeless + needing to get the thoughts out" thread. it ain't helping

No. 392102

serious risk of your organs collapsing? are you talking about prolapsing? wtf does an organ collapsing do? are you trying to say that the abdominal organs can settle into the space the uterus occupied? because that and prolapse happen, but tbh never heard of organ collapse, ever.

No. 392105

HRT is either a bad idea these days, or the jury is out, depending on your gynecologist. Friend had a hyst at 32 and they're checking her levels carefully instead of giving her HRT. She hasn't gone crazy.

Leaving the ovaries is just fine for most women, they don't die off that quickly even without direct blood supply.

No. 392106

Sounds like a shit therapist. Firstly, she has absolutely no authority to recommend something like a hysterectomy. Secondly, she shouldn’t be indulging these thoughts of yours by saying that otherwise you won’t stop being suicidal.

Also, just a because a few of your family members have had cancer doesn’t mean you will, nor does your mother having been fine after a hysterectomy guarantee that you will be.

And like an anon above me said, the issues you’re dealing with currently are entirely vain ones and pale in comparison to what vital organ removal can do. You’re clearly not at all sound of mind and you need a new therapist because, again, she really shouldn’t be indulging these self-harming thoughts of yours - and yes, wanting to removal a vital organ for no medical reason but purely from dysphoria would fall under self-harm

No. 392107

Good grief, drop the attitude. If you don't want discourse on the subject then just get a personal diary instead of getting mad that people aren't validating your every feeling.

No. 392108

Yes, sorry, I meant prolapse not collapse

No. 392109

Do whatever works for you, anon. Hysterectomies are not the end of the world, not by a long shot. People will pull all kinds of stats to flip you out, but some women thrive without a uterus and fallopian tubes. I've heard keeping your cervix is a good idea if you can swing it, but don't stress it either way. Best to you.

No. 392110

Do you also recommend that annorexics go and get lipo? Because she wants it gone purely because of dysphoria as she had stated in her original post

No. 392112

Her mother and grandmother died of uterine cancer. Mom and grandma. That's considered an increased risk, especially for uterine cancer, which is uncommon compared to lung or breast cancer. It's also real hard to detect. No tests for it.

If you have no direct familial link to a reproductive system or breast cancer, I wouldn't expect that you'd understand but please cut anon some slack. Worrying about the place babies come from spawning a real fucked up baby in the form of a cancer that kills does a fucking number on your head.

Try for kindness next time, it costs you nothing.

No. 392120

Anon have you been checked for any reproductive issues like fibroids? Maybe look into endometrial ablation, it probably won't completely stop your period but it'll help make them more manageable, but there's always the chance they could stop completely. I wanna say my mom got it done and she hasn't had a period for close to 10 years I wanna say? And yeah they're gonna bring up the whole "But what if you want kids in the future" argument but they're way more likely to do this than remove part of an organ. They'll also back off a little I feel like since you're not even into guys.

And most doctors (even without bringing up "but you might want kids") generally save hysterectomy as your absolute last option because it cannot be reversed and also because of the possible complications, long term and short term. So sure you won't have a period but at what cost?


>At this point it looks like it's the only way that anyone will take me seriously when I say I feel like my uterus is not a part of me and should not be inside of me and causes me major dysphoria just to think about.
Also unless I'm reading this wrong she never said it was actually giving her dysphoria, only that she felt like it was the only way to get people to take her seriously. Which clearly is a horrible idea I shouldn't even have to explain why

No. 392122

File: 1553839005904.jpg (123.62 KB, 360x500, o.jpg)

i really want a sort of physically white trashy boyfriend (bonus if he came from poverty/very little money) that's stupid but sweet and super emotional and isn't hung up on being or seeming smart/pretentious. i just want a simple bf that is kind and wants us to help each other financially so we have stability, and i'm so romantically/emotionally frustrated by it. i dont think they exist but i met this physically trashy guy the other month that was so sweet to me and had less than i do and i have been thinking about him a lot, about guys like him, whether or not they're ok, etc. i'm tired of being emotionally toyed with by men that have more than me and feel like they're still kind of on their own in life, even if married or engaged etc

every guy i end up dating has had an upper middle-upper class lifestyle as kids/growing up and even though they act like it hasn't affected them/doesn't affect them, it definitely has, and you definitely feel the difference when you come from poverty or no money yourself. i hate it so much. plus these kind of men seem to never want to be a team and work toward goals together, because they know they've always have had family to fall back on, or they just feel like the shit will never hit the fan for them and that they're immune to terrible circumstances, and it ends up making you feel so alone. even when they're left wing, the economic privilege is really a divide that i can't get past. you still just always feel it.

No. 392123

I'm PMSing and our new cute kitten still growls at me (while my partner gets to pet her) and I just want to cry. This is ridiculous but hurts me so much.

No. 392128

File: 1553840757419.jpeg (26.06 KB, 600x315, A09D70AB-FB51-4CE0-9507-A3B4DE…)

Nerd culture becoming “popular” feels like a huge bait and switch, because I was so excited when I was younger to see the things I liked become more accepted and commonplace.

However now it’s dominated by normies from SoCal who care more about social media image and networking for status, while actual nerds and otaku are further pushed to the side, because our media is cool now but we’re still socially unacceptable to be seen with.

No. 392137

I hope you find a nice trashy bf anon

No. 392140

It's probably a mistake to assume this is organic "nerd culture" and not a cultivated version of that now that the internet is so centralised.

I don't necessarily mean that in a conspiratorial sense, just that in contrast to the explosion of speech platforms in the early internet/web, and the focus on opening the boundaries of discussion that was kind of the norm, everything is now regressing to an ever-smaller ring of platforms with ever-tighter acceptable "cultural" norms.
In that kind of environment we no longer have the spergy noise that equalised everybody. You also never really know if trends are something people actually like or some dumb shit/meme that everyone seems suddenly obsessed with overnight is actually being driven by a paid shitposter house somewhere.

If you're a huge industry of marketers (or, yes, CIA niggers) who want to be able to influence huge numbers of people like that, then it's in your interest to establish an ecosystem–or "nerd culture"–that gives you a way into our heads. They've had plenty of time to do it and it's what you'd like… heuristically expect from assholes throwing money at the internet for a decade or two, eventually.
Embarrassing otakus were here long before and never went anywhere yet I don't think "it" really reflects what any of us are actually like or want? So where the fuck did it come from?

No. 392144

This was a pretty good read and explains well why normies ruin fringe subcultures. Highly recommended. https://meaningness.com/geeks-mops-sociopaths

No. 392169

I keep dreaming about a guy who is ignoring me, why do my dreams tease me like this

No. 392183

I really hate those kind of people who always have to tell everyone how many pages they've written in an exam. Like what kind of weird brag is that? I have at least 5 of those people in my class and they are insufferable.

No. 392198

I remember when Pokémon go became popular, on the first day it was out there were these memes and posts about it which just screamed fake paid promo made by nintendo, just to give people the idea it was popular, especially "normal" people that insist on following every new trend. Of course it worked

The difference between nerd culture and what we see now is: Nerds liked X before it was popular and will go on liking it well after it stops being popular. Yet we see "nerd" things become popular for a week, a couple months at most, and the forgotten forever (or until the next round of paid promo) That's not how the nerd brain works and is pretty good evidence for all this stuff just being extremely effective mass advertising campaigns

See also: Artists joining in on the promo by rushing out pieces that coincide with news stories about new products, in the hopes of boosts for their pages. Getting artists to do more promo for you for free is quite the bonus, and I wonder whether this is all intentional too; large accounts told to/paid to promote/share certain posts which coincide with product releases

Anyway, in summary, if it isn't a long term interest for someone it doesn't pass the obsessive nerd test, and companies are just taking advantage of how easily they can advertise for free online now/get others to do it for them to get normie sales, said normies will be bored of the thing within a couple of months/as soon as it isn't "cool" anymore

No. 392199

File: 1553871291265.gif (1009.02 KB, 172x126, why.gif)

For some reason my menstrual cycle is now 17-20 days long so I get my period stupidly often. Why the fuck. I hate bleeding.

No. 392203

Saw a post on Pink Pill that made rage
Anon has perfect bf that treats like her queen,says she loves him but can't understand why he gets offended when she acts like a misandrist and says all men are awful and evil even then he puts up with her
I want to find him and take him away from that awful woman and treat me like a queen

No. 392204

File: 1553872311710.jpg (60.2 KB, 540x539, Pixie-Haircut-with-Long-Bangs.…)

I'd love to get a pixie cut but my giant ass forehead and thin hair make it look pretty bad and just… ugh. I know it's also a bitch to maintain but somehow I prefer it to long ass hair that keeps getting into my face constantly

No. 392216

Just sounds like her boyfriend is dumb. Not very nice to write about online though tbh

No. 392226

I wish Uni was more like school. Not the amount of work, effort and self-initiative you have to put up, but the way courses and students are structured. I hate how seminars are constantly overlapping and you have to choose what fits in the schedule over what actually interests you. The most exhausting part about studying for me is also having to adjust to new people and switching seminar groups this often. I know this is good for networking but I'm kind of an autist that can't make friends this quickly and this is the vent thread

No. 392231

The same kind of people that can't write succinctly are the same type of people that brag about bullshit, figures

No. 392234

oh my god who cares

this better be a troll post or you're actually retarded and need a minder so as to prevent post pollution like this

No. 392249

Damn. I once had a period that lasted for two weeks. But I was 12 and I just started menstruating only a few months before. Maybe you should see a gynecologist?

No. 392274

I am so sick and tired of cosplay discussion on twitter. Everyone in the 'community' is now so busy virtue signaling that no one is actually creating anything. I just want to yell at everyone to get off twitter and go sew. I deleted the app, got this off my chest, and now I'M gonna go sew. Fuck them.

No. 392292

File: 1553884570719.jpeg (49.3 KB, 500x376, tumblr_mfglnw9NYW1riyibio1_500…)

Fuck I've been doing so okay mentally recently but today I've just been crushed with overwhelming anxiety and I don't even know why because there's nothing going on in my life that's worth getting this worked up over yet here I am!

No. 392296

I cannot physically go anywhere without feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin. I live in a city and walk to work. While I'm walking I have this crushing self consciousness that I can't shake. My skin literally prickles. Almost everywhere I go in public it's the same. Even if I have a reason for being somewhere I feel so out of place and disgusting. My heart races and my whole body feels fucked. It's like I have a hyperawareness of what's going on in my body too. I feel like I'm walking weirdly, counting steps, the sound of my shoes feel off… It's so fucking draining.

I just want it to end.

No. 392297

Dating apps are trash. My one and only tinder date was with a guy who used very out of date pics (he was much heavier than in the pics he was using) and had rather damning red flags for severe porn addiction.

No. 392302

>every guy i end up dating has had an upper middle-upper class lifestyle as kids/growing up and even though they act like it hasn't affected them/doesn't affect them, it definitely has, and you definitely feel the difference when you come from poverty or no money yourself.
This is so true. My husband works and I'm in school and we have a financial situation I consider absolutely amazing.
>live in cozy two bedroom apartment
>no debt at all, school, car, top of the line phones all paid off
>able to buy lots of nice things (two expensive gaming laptops, regularly buy new games, nice clothes including brand lolita, lots of weed, food out, etc. and still able to save)
>tens of thousands of dollars in the bank

He's still stressed like crazy about money and thinks of us as far behind where we should be in our mid-twenties. The weird thing is he's very aware of how most people, especially in our area, live paycheck to paycheck and are one major emergency expense away from financial disaster if they're lucky. But there's this bizarre disconnect he has when it comes to our own finances. Having millionaire parents makes you feel like you're a failure if you're just doing "pretty well for your age" instead of bringing in six figures.

No. 392310

I leave home for two days a week to go to the new uni, but otherwise no

No. 392323

File: 1553888387979.jpg (89.46 KB, 399x742, ai_115584-2.jpg)

I'm like him even though my parents were just well off rather than rich. For me it's just a matter of long term thinking - yes, I have money now, but what about retirement? Am I investing correctly? And it's smart to think about these things young, because compound interest is a very powerful thing and the younger you are the better.

Count yourself lucky that you have a financially literate bf, assuming he is not just stressing without doing anything to improve your financial position.

No. 392380

File: 1553896561839.jpg (222.84 KB, 1200x1029, D18e0O6XgAAdvXC.jpg)

I'm an art student and I've got tendinitis lately. It's so damn frustrating. I use my dominant hand to finish my assigments because I have no choice but it's killing me, the pain gives me heavy headaches too. Luckily I manage to use my non dominant hand for personal sketches and digital coloring but still, it's annoying because I'm not good enough with it to do the stuff I want but I don't want my other hand to get worse so you know I just suck it up.
I'm not even sure my grades are good enough to stay in the art school I'm in and like, I can't do the best I can do anymore and I'm so worried I'll be kicked out by the end of the year. I'm so upset tbh, that whole situation makes me sad. I just want to draw ugh

Anyways sorry if it's not very clear, english isn't my first language and I'm tired

No. 392384

I had this same thing happen to me except I was out of art school and doing freelance work.
It's seriously heartbreaking, I feel for you anon.

No. 392389

File: 1553898221953.jpeg (39.82 KB, 680x386, D1wxQH0U0AUSNH5.jpeg)

I was so fucking happy to hear that Zendaya was playing a lesbian character in HBO's Euphoria. Turns out the character she falls in love with is a TIM. I wanna fucking die.

No. 392395

Ew. A TIM must have written that story.

No. 392406

File: 1553900700891.gif (1.27 MB, 360x220, no-no-one-believes-its-that-ti…)

My friends have always just assumed that I've a lot sex, or rather a normal sex life, when irl I am a virgin. No one ever asked so i'm not actually lying to anyone and it doesn't really matter but it kinda does. I've had a girlfriend and I just never had the guts to tell anyone we never even fucked, how the hell would you even tell at 26yo?

it's mainly due to my experiences with toys and a long masturbation career lol, i just know i'd disappoint anyone else with my too tight pussy. shit sounds like a brag, but it isn't it's like you had no visible nostrils and you had to blow your nose.

my life is so fucking sad, i sometimes get this terrifying visual of me being 40 and a virgin, am i a fucking femcel, i don't blame anyone else than my fucking maybe-vaginismus-having-cunt so maybe not. It's more about me not being able to believe someone would have the patience to deal with me not being just able to let someone ram shit into me just like that. anal would be ok tho. so it's just BIZARRE. Honestly depressing. i am this close to getting a prostitute and just…trying it out, i am so scared it would be like that netflix show my husband won't fit? I know there's a vagina thread but i came here to just vent and that i did.

No. 392410

File: 1553900795813.png (242.62 KB, 642x611, pigo.png)

i wish i could just commit to exercising or eating healthy or even starving.
i'm not exactly fat yet but i know i'll be there in three or four years like all of my family, and once i get fat it will be too late to get out.

No. 392469

I didn't want to post this in Phoebe's thread because of blogposting but people like her actually infuriate me. I'm scottish and my friend/neighbor is 17 living in a sleeping bag in the woods for the week because his parents kicked him out. he was fired from his job and his boss has not paid him for a month. his mom has 140 quid a week to feed her, him, his younger sister, and his dog and without his job his mom cannot support everyone so he's homeless until his new job starts. I'm out of the country so i can't offer him a place to stay. everyone is fucking struggling. I'm sick of spoilt brats acting like they have it the hardest when some people don't even have a place to sleep.

No. 392474

Moderates that are so invested in being moderates are so annoying.

No. 392477

Recently, I had a mentally ill homeless person yell racial slurs at my mom and I and telling us that he was going to rape us. To add to that, once in a while, I run across crazy homeless people screaming at each other or whatever when I'm trying to get to school and there was even a fucking stabbing a while back nearby. I'm so sick of the increasing homeless population in my neighborhood and it pisses me off knowing that the progressive types at my school would probably think I'm Hitler for wanting these people to fuck off.

No. 392499

I shouldn't keep talking to my ex. I know she's only trying to manipulate me to come back to her, but it's not working, and I'm nosy, so I don't see the harm.
Her life is a fascinating mess in so many ways. I'd hate to miss out on her antics, but now, I know better than to get involved.
Maybe this is how it always should've been.

No. 392504

seems like we're keeping it if i don't end up having a miscarriage, oh god ah fuckkkkkkKKK

i'm excited of course but good lord if this isn't the most terrifying thing i've ever experienced

No. 392567

my dad killed himself a few days before my birthday, a few weeks ago. i never really knew him. a relative contacted my family after seeing a post about his death on instagram. if a distant second cousin through marriage hadn't passed the information forward, i never would have even known he had died.
i'm living with my mother, who is an actively using drug addict. she abused and neglected me very badly when i was a child. i was in and out of the psych ward for various suicide attempts as a teenager because of this situation, but i think they were mostly cries for help. my grandma has covered for her, protected her from consequences and enabled her throughout her entire addiction. it often felt like i was the only one who saw how dire the situation was, and i was often met with anger, or invalidation, or gaslighting when trying to express how fucked it all was (and still is).
her addiction began when i was in the 4th grade, and continues to this day, in ways i cannot escape or avoid. it has been eleven years of back to back crises and traumas.
she started up a meth habit a year and a half ago, and it culminated in her losing custody of my sisters and burning her house down in a suicide attempt caused by her drug induced psychosis and the grief of losing contact with my sisters. she then moved in with me and my grandma, when we moved out to the sticks specifically to get away from her.
for a good while, i was consistently making leaps and bounds of progress, through hard work and discipline. when she came to live with us, i violently backslid almost instantly. i've been having ptsd nightmares about her for years, and i can barely stand to look at her. i've always been expected to sidestep her, repress my trauma and play nice for everyone else's sake.
in two months, she's going to try for partial custody of my sisters again. she's not sober; they don't know that. history is going to repeat itself and i feel a looming sense of dread. i don't want them to end up like me. i feel powerless.
ever since i found out about my dad killing himself, my dissociation has become much more all consuming than usual. my trauma around my mother is resurfacing, because i've been repressing it as hard as i can for as long as i could. i'm more miserable than i have ever been, and i came really close to hanging myself two nights ago. it scared me, because i was very committed to ensuring i succeeded, i decided on simple suspension hanging via doorknob with a knot placed on my carotid to cut off blood supply to the brain. i ended up popping some klonopin to take the edge off and falling asleep instead. it's still at the back of my mind.
i'm supposed to move out soon, but i don't know where to go from here. i have no hope for any kind of future for myself. when i was doing a little bit better emotionally i was starting to think seriously about going to college. i don't know how i am supposed to take this big leap of faith and become an independent adult when i can barely function.
>inb4 "get help"
i applied to an inpatient program suited to my needs, and i was marked low priority and told it would definitely be at least over a year before i'd have a bed.

No. 392571

You don't sound like you're ready for it. Why have a child if it scares you and it isn't planned? I really don't understand this. Like, life is going to throw you ACTUALLY unavoidable curveballs. Why complicate your life with this like you have to have the kid when you dont?

No. 392587

Dreading this weekend already, because I know how it's gonna be. If only I knew how to keep my stupid mouth shut this wouldn't have happened.

No. 392610

Went on a low carb diet a week ago for my PCOS and I'm already miserable. And so fucking sick of eggs. I know I need to stick with it for my health though. When will the damn bread cravings stop?

No. 392640

I've never said anything about this for 4 years and I don't even know if it constitutes as sexual assault but I know even if it doesn't it still fucks me up

Basically when I was 16 and dating my first boyfriend we were picked up after school by our mutual friend to go back to my BFs house to study. I like to look out the window when I'm in the car so that's what I was doing until I look back at my boyfriend and he has his dick out and he's trying to get me to give him head. I didn't want to, like, at all. I motion to our friend in the front seat like "He's gonna see us" and my boyfriend just said something like no it'll be fine. I kept trying to hesitate and get him to realize I didn't want to, I can't remember if I said no or not. I just remember looking out the back window at the cars behind us for a few seconds and just feeling like I didn't have a choice and feeling like if I made a big deal out of it then our friend would find out and I didn't wanna be caught in that situation, even though it wasn't my idea I knew I would be seen as being partly at fault for his dick being out. So I just did it, I only did it for a few seconds before I was firm and said I'm not doing this and he just kinda huffed. When we got to his house he left our friend in the living room and took me back to his room and tried to have sex with me. He got my pants off and I was just kind of going along with it, our friend walks in on us and I just kinda laugh because I think I was just trying to act normal or act like this was no big deal but I don't know, I didn't know how else to act and in my head if I laugh about embarrassing things, then people won't think I'm embarrassed idk. Our friend ended up leaving, which I don't blame him.

I was still friends with that guy (not my ex) until a few months ago and I really wanted to tell him but never did, I didn't wanna risk him feeling weird for being in that situation and not being aware of it, it just felt fucked up so I never told him. I don't think he'd even believe me anyways, or he'd say its not a big deal and like maybe its not and I'm just sensitive but I've ugly cried about this before and I went through some shit as a kid and this gives me the same shaky heart pounding feelings and it makes me space out like crazy when I think about it like almost full on dissociating. Before this the same boyfriend had a horrible habit of groping me and sticking his hands down my pants in public and in school regardless of how many times I told him to stop or pushed his hands away. I feel stupid for caring about something that happened in high school so I usually just try to forget about it but it still ends up creeping its way into whatever I'm thinking about every few months to every few weeks. I just wanna be able to talk to my friends about this but I can't, and I'm not sure I ever will. All I've ever considered this is a grey area and it very well may just be that but it still fucks me up.

No. 392647

Might be a mini sperg out sorry in advance
I fucking hate my sister. Like burning passion hate. I try to manifest it into a general dislike/minimal tolerance as we live together but denying myself this hatred is making me go crazy. Last week she put my mom through hell, she cheated on her boyfriend who was living with us multiple times he finds out and breaks up with her she has attention seeking freak out and gets herself committed. Now last week was also my moms birthday and she spends it coddling my sister and visiting her every day in the hospital. Now she’s acting like a bratty teenager she already has no regard for other people but immediately after this supposed ‘breakdown’ shes back to her horrible normal self. I hate her I cant even get into details how much I do because it makes me so irrationally angry. I hate how we were raised different I hate that she takes advantage of my mom and their relationship I hate that I didn’t even get to have a relationship with my mom until I was an adult because of her I hate her personality I hate how stupid she is how smug she is how attention seeking she is I hate that she acts like she’s alienated when both of our parents have been so attentive to her but couldn’t give a shit when I was going through my own problems I hate how mad this makes me I hate how she’s gone through life as a terrible person and at 30 fucking years old she has never changed it’s so hard to pretend to be unbothered when your own mother tells you she misses when it was just her and her two other kids I don’t care what this bitch think she’s gone through I’ll never feel sorry for her especially since she caused this current mess ok I’m done ranting like a psycho

No. 392649

I think something bad has happened to my close friend, and I don't know what to do. We've talked pretty much every day for months and he's disappeared for over a day now. I have anxiety issues, so my mind is jumping to the worst conclusions. I don't think he has ghosted me, but I'd prefer that than if he got into an accident driving or something.

Just hoping with everything I have that he is alright. It doesn't help that we are from different countries, so getting in touch is hard.

No. 392654


You need carbs. Don't be an idiot following trends. PCOS diet should be CICO, like any eating plan should be based on.


No. 392661

But my endocrinologist recommended it…

No. 392688

You're probably going through what's known as the keto flu. This is when you're body adjusts from glycolysis and using carbs for energy, to ketosis and using ketones for energy. Try drinking sugar free electrolyte drinks, or making your own with sugar free cordial, water and electrolyte powder. Make sure to check the nutritional information for hidden carbs in drinks.
Some more info

Also make sure you get enough vegetables. There are plenty of low carb options like kale, cauliflower, mushrooms and zucchini. If you feel like a treat you can have a handful of berries like raspberries or blueberries with heavy cream and it won't take you over your carb macro.

No you don't. I've been eating a ketogenic diet for over a year to treat epilepsy and chronic cluster headaches. I eat less than 15g of carbs a day. Not only does it control the fits and headaches, I feel better than I have done in over a decade because I'm not constantly sick from medication side effects. I'm not saying it's for everyone and I'm not too sure how I feel about people doing it for weight loss. However it is a perfectly valid treatment option when done with medical supervision.

No. 392715

Then don’t do keto. It’s easy to lose weight even with pcos. The absolute worst case of it in the world would still only put anyone at an 80 calorie slow-down.

It’s literally half an apple or a piece of bread. The “I can’t lose weight because pcos” line is such nonsense.

No. 392727

Thanks anon, I think I've been skimping too much on veggies.

Where did I say I was losing weight? My BMI is 24. My doctor told me to go low carb for my insulin resistance, and I'm inclined to trust a medical professional. I didn't realise low carb was such a touchy topic here.

No. 392733

pfffff why is so much japanese music blocked in my region on spotify i just wanna listen to serani poji and j.a.m in a quality that doesn't sound like it's coming out of a $2 portable speaker that's been lodged up someone's ass

No. 392782

I'm pre-diabetic, runs in the family. I find that googling 'diabetic recipes' helped me figure out the low carb situation in a way that worked for me. Good luck!

No. 392786

i've had diabetes since i was 10 and i am careful with my blood sugar levels but i'm not too strict with my diet, i just try to balance it with my insulin doses. it is unhealthy in long term and i'm probably going to have 58743476 chronic diseases in the future and it makes me hate myself. props to you guys who can stick to a low carb diet.

No. 392788

I hate that too, Spotify will let me follow Number Girl and listen to their radio station but I can’t listen to any of their actual music. I also like Buffalo Daughter but their account doesn’t have all of their albums.

No. 392789


Most doctors are not trained in nutrition. You should know that insulin resistance is primarily caused by saturated fats and trans-fatty acids and high carb diets have been effectively shown to decrease insulin sensitivity.


No. 392828

File: 1553963276700.jpg (85.63 KB, 966x827, me_vs_suicide__meme__by_kangyn…)

going through a rough patch and realised thoughts about death keep popping up a lot because I'm longing for release. Not suicidal and there's hope but right now, it's hard. I'd go inpatient if I didn't have a strong support system luckily that can't be improved much

No. 392856

My husband told me if I don't make serious progress in my relationship with food very soon, he's sending me to an eating disorder facility.

I feel so ashamed with myself that we're at this point.

No. 392875

You sure it was unprovoked

No. 392924

My dad listens to a bunch of Fox News and is basically brainwashed by it. I'm from Georgia and am currently disgusted with the Heartbeat bill as any woman should be. To make matters worse, I told my dad, who voted for the people responsible, that he's responsible for this too by voting for such lunatics for the sake of "not voting for socialists!!!" This is what you get when you vote for the "economy" and disregard the part of the conservative platform that doesn't give a shit about women and children, but somehow gives a fuck about zygotes when they're able to oppress women ofc.

My dad's response? "OP, don't worry, if you need an abortion we'll go to another state." Yep dad, can't wait until the Georgia government eventually decides that I'm a criminal for crossing state lines to obtain an abortion past 6 weeks, and wants to try to charge me with murder.

No. 392969

>tfw not sure if body dysmorphia or if I'm actually hideous
I know I'm not good looking since I'd have people hitting on me 24/7 or some shit, but idk if I'm monstrous or not. There are only two traits on my face that don't morph everyday so I just can't tell.
I hate this.

No. 392989

I'm the same. I'm not diagnosed with BDD so I don't know if that's what I have, but I genuinely can't recognise my own face. It always feels like it's changing, melting, moving. Even ugly people seem to at least have a face that keeps together, but mine is a weird changing mess that just spills out. I really feel like a monster.

We probably both look average, though. How likely is it that we're horribly ugly when most people are just average ?

No. 393003

I'm sorry you have a dad who severely lacks critical thinking skills. If you ever want to convince him, if you google anti-abortion campaigner gets abortion, you will find many articles showing men who pushed for abortion to be banned, but still got one for their mistresses. All men who a against abortion are hypocrites anyways, they just use it as a way to shame women, they don't care about the embryo.

No. 393004

I'm from GA too, and I can't believe how many steps back this bill is taking us. It's still surreal to me. And of course men are just dismissive about it because it doesn't actually affect them.

No. 393005


I have felt the same way. Some days I look at my face and I think my acne scars have gotten lighter, my face proportions are more reasonable, and other days the latter. But I have been bullied for being ugly in my teen years and I don't look much different now, so maybe i am just ugly.

No. 393012

I've been in a great relationship for 7 months and it's been so perfect. He's hygienic, athletic, smart, has 2 degrees, likes animals, etc. But I recently found out the flaw.

He's a nazi. Not just the vote for Trump kind but the kind that actually has a history with organized groups and stuff. I just don't know what to do. I thought he was going to be a great dad when the time came but now I don't know and I'm scared and shocked and other emotions. I can't even believe that I might lose him over something like fucking politics of all things. It's like he's a completely different person with me.

No. 393015

Catholic people on Lent are so annoying. Going ONE DAY out of the week without eating meat is not a big deal at all. Besides, they only stop eating land meats anyway, fish, cheese and other animal products seem to be on the table so I fail to see how this is at all a sacrifice. Especially with cheese as an option, you don't even have to stop having tasty meals. And even if it was somehow impossible to have a good tasting meal without meat, who cares? Just eat for nourishment that one day. I'm just getting tired of all the "uwu its so hard to not eat meat on friday! I'm tired of fish sticks." type complaints.

No. 393016

Is he like the Varg innawoods "I only want white babies" type or the "eradicate the jews and brown people" type?

If he isn't violent I think it might be worth seeing where your relationship goes with him.

No. 393019

Both I guess? He doesn't want to live in the woods as far as I know, but he's pretty insistent to be a father. He wants 7 kids which isn't gonna happen and I think I can talk him down to 3 or 4. He used to go out and do "paramilitary exercises" with his nazi group and he only quit because of some events that happened related to a zero tolerance policy? I have no idea how any of this even works. He hasn't filled me on all of those details yet. I don't know how violent he's capable of being, he seems so sweet to me but idk what he could be capable of. He owns a lot of guns but I figured it was pretty normal for guys to collect lots of the things that they like, like tools and hats and stuff.

No. 393021

Lmfaoooooo @ even considering this absolute retard to be father material or even boyfriend material. this better be bait because neo-nazis are the ultimate brainlets. I can MAYBE see keeping him as a friend with the sole purpose of deradicalizing him, but fucking kek @ dating this trash and not realizing he was a neo-nazi until actually dating him. how shallow are your relationships with people that you're able to even get this far with a nazi until noticing he's a nazi?

both of those options are trash and you're encouraging anon to be used by a man that wants to utilize her as a literal white power incubator

No. 393022

He just cares about the future of his people I guess. I would husband a guy like Varg who is just sick of the modern world and wants to live off the grid tbh

No. 393023

>He wants 7 kids which isn't gonna happen and I think I can talk him down to 3 or 4.
>He used to go out and do "paramilitary exercises" with his nazi group and he only quit because of some events that happened related to a zero tolerance policy?
> I don't know how violent he's capable of being, he seems so sweet to me but idk what he could be capable of.
I don't know him so I could be wrong of course, but it sounds like he's sweet to you because for now you're his prospective trad huwite babby mommy.

No. 393025

Fuuuck let's that simple? I came from the altered African version so I got.
>No fish, eggs, meat, milk
>Fast every day
>No eating before 3pm so skipping medications is a somewhat common thing
>Also the more religous would fast every Wednesday when it wasn't lent.

I feel kind of jealous now.

No. 393026

>I would husband a guy like Varg who is just sick of the modern world and wants to live off the grid tbh
but that isn't the only reason varg is doing that, anon. you're acting like varg is just a quirky loner, lmao.

No. 393027

Yeah, I've got to agree with you. The only men I know who were that far on the right side of politics turned out to have a shit load of other flaws : they were porn-addicted, manipulative, extremely misogynistic, and would blame all their own shortcoming on the jews so that they wouldn't have to actually try to improve themselves, all while roleplaying as alpha males. Nobody becomes a Nazi because they love their country and want to preserve their culture (even though they claim that), they become a Nazi because they've got terrible insecurities they can only cope with by projecting their self-hatred onto specific minorities.

No. 393028

Well yeah he has strong racial views but provided he's not violent I don't really mind. I'm not a big fan of immigration myself anyway. Currently living in a non white area and it's really woken me up.

No. 393030

I can’t imagine finding out your boyfriend is a nazi and even entertaining the thought of staying with him. They’re all hateful cowards and would have been killed by true nazis as well as majority of them are mutts which is a sweet irony

No. 393033

>I'm not a big fan of immigration myself anyway. Currently living in a non white area and it's really woken me up.
i'm not a huge fan of immigration but i can still recognize that varg is a psychotic dumbass. cute soyboy tier environmentalist virgin loner bf >>>>>> right wing huwite "modern society is muslim pandering and degenerate" woman-hating retard

one will abuse you and the other wont, on account of the 'soyboy' being made of papier mache and hair. one is also a convicted felon and one isn't. varg tier men are trash and should be straight up disposed of

kek, all of them fetishize authoritarianism and nazism to a degree that they'd spread their asscheeks for goebbels and allow themselves to be wiped out/executed at point blank range by their white power daddies so long as it made them feel useful. literally the most spineless, bird-brained pissbabies ever

No. 393036

It sounds like for African Catholics it is a lot more intense! In America most Catholics only go Friday without eating land meats, but eat as much fish, egg, milk and cheese as they like and whenever they like.

No. 393050

I think I'll just ask him to talk so I can try and understand this and just how or why he got this way and what he thinks the long term political goal is. I got something good here and I'm not letting it go if I can help it. Thanks for the input.

No. 393053


This is bait right? Please tell me this is bait.

>tfw there are idiot women on this site who actually date and fuck nazis and have no problem with this because "i don't like immigration either"

Get the fuck out of there. Any man who is openly a trump supporting nazi in this day in age is without a doubt harbouring horrible views about women, and it's only a matter of time before you find that out. and you will find that out. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. But what's better, jumping ship now, or waiting until you're married and have kids with this asshole? When you do something he doesn't like and he's threatening you with his guns? When you're trying to raise the 7 white babies he wants but he keeps leaving to go on "paramilitary exercises" with the rest of his nazi bros?

Politics are a huge deal anon, there's nothing wrong with leaving a guy because his beliefs don't line up with you. Trust me, you can find a guy better than someone whose a fucking nazi. You deserve better than a guy whose a nazi. Love yourself. You can't change him. Men are a dime a dozen and dick is a abundant. Get out of there. Find someone normal.

No. 393058

>wants 7 kids which isn't gonna happen and I think I can talk him down to 3 or 4
this is too fucking extreme to not be bait. if this is true you should've left him when he said 7

No. 393083

I lowkey wanna have sex again. Just wrestle in the sheets with someone feeling that ecstasy and not getting enough of each other. I'd also like to date women. But none of it is possible or sensible anytime soon

No. 393131

>hygienic, athletic, smart, has 2 degrees, likes animals
>so I guess it balances out the being an actual nazi part
Femcel's first lay or bait? Jesus get some dignity. Beside the having two degrees part, everything else you listed should be the absolute minimum standard in choosing a mate. He's not a catch even if he wasn't a literal nazi.
>he wants me to breed for him seven times like a true ~aryan~ cattle 7 months into our relationship
Yeah ok it's b8

No. 393135

idk tbh ive seen some actual farmers post some dumb stuff/tolerate some dumb shit. it definitely seems sus, but i wouldn't be surprised. may even be a pathetic actually female ballkisser from cc.

No. 393218

Before uni I had always been going to all-girls schools. Because of that, so many behaviours don't make sense to me. I treat men normally, I help them when they ask me, I try to listen to them and not be snappy, and yet, just in the span of month two of them were raging on me because I supposedly "lead them on". Wtf. Maybe I am a sperg who doesn't understand human behaviour, but why did they think that being a decent human being means I want to fuck them?

No. 393220

Because that’s the only reason these types of men treat women with any human decency - they want to fuck them. Lack of empathy all around, makes them unable to understand that the women they hypersexualise don’t do the same to them

No. 393222

Sorry for the dumb question, but how to differentiate between normal men and that hypersexual type? They seemed average to me, they didn't bring up anything sexual ever.

No. 393225

That 'type' is normal men. Anything else is a unicorn.

No. 393229

You’re not doing anything wrong. It sounds like you’re just being a genuinely nice person and they’re misconstruing that as you being sexually interested. As >>393220
said, a lot of men are only nice to women because they want something from them so they assume women are the same.

No. 393235

Dont you just love it when you're showing a crush to your friend and you accidentally like an old insta photo of them?

No. 393236

Yesterday I had a breakdown when I was with one of my closest friends. I have never cried like that with someone who wasn't part of my family or/and my partner and -even though she was lovely about it- I feel kinda dissapointed with myself.
Basically I told her how sometimes I don't want to keep going anymore, how exhausted I am of my life and all the bad things that keep happening to me even if it's not my fault, how I don't want to live to please other but at the same time I can't help but feel guilty when I try to be selfish for once.

No. 393241

Eh, they're just hurt from being rejected so they're trying to put the blame on you by claiming you were leading them on.
Yes, some will use your politeness while others will think it means you're available to them. You want to be careful of the former btw, those guys will take advantage of your kindness so they might have specifically targeted you for that. The latter are just dumbasses.
You just need to let them know immediately that you're not interested but be prepared to face backlash from that too since again, they'll protect their bruised ego like lying and saying they weren't interested either.

Welcome to the world of having to socialize with the opposite sex where you might get raged on no matter what.

No. 393289

fuck tourist season and all the loud normie assholes it brings to the neighbourhood

No. 393291

No sure where this belongs since I can not find the advice thread.
Anyone here having experience with the pill after?

Not on birth control still had sex with this guy (yes I know fucking stupid don't say anything I already know)
He did not come but we all know that precum exist so idk

It's Sunday but I'll be able to find a pharmacy I hope and get the pill.
From what I've been reading it's not a 100% chance that you will not get pregnant.. is that true?

Anyways I hate how stupid both of us were but I'm the one dealing with it now not him..

No. 393293

Better be safe than sorry. Take it and you should be okay. Granted there is still a risk after taking the pill, but nothing is 100% foolproof. I had to take it once years ago (the condom broke, he came) and it was fine. Just take it as soon as possible.

No. 393294

Trashy AF but you should be ok.

No. 393315

I've taken it before. If you're worried about it, I would say just go get Plan B (you can get a coupon online) or you could search if there are health centers in your area that have them free.

If you are stressed about it, your period will be late from stress, and then you'll be more stressed bc you'll think you're pregnant - IMO it's worth your own sanity to just take it.

No. 393317

Also, samefag to add: get on birth control

No. 393324

Yeeah already thinking about seeing a doctor to get a prescription not a big fan of people seeing my vag tho also never needed it before… anyways I took it now it's just that I'm close to ovulation so I'm a little worried I guess.
Had my period aprox 14 days ago so that sucks.
The guy also said that it's a dangerous time lol
Did not even say anything about the pill which kinda shocked me like I never took it before and If I had not googled so damn much today I would have not known anything.

No. 393326

they don't need to look at your vagina to get birth control lmao. they just ask your sex history and stuff.

No. 393327

Nah where I live they tend to take a look.
A friend of mine had to get it done so that woman would still prescribe her birth control.

No. 393331

Where do you live? In the US, possibly other countries, you can literally get prescribed birth control through an app.

If you're sexually active you need to be going to the gynecologist every 3 years anyways - especially if you're having unprotected sex. Many STDs have no symptoms and if left untreated can cause serious damage to your body. Untreated chlamydia, for example, can render you infertile. You can get HPV even if you use a condom every single time - and HPV can cause warts and cancer down the line! Please go get a pap smear and get on birth control. Your sexual health is incredibly important.

No. 393334

She's trashy. She's not interested in being safe. Bet she didn't even know the guy she slept with.

No. 393336

Fuck off with that bullshit

No. 393337

Stfu thats literally the first guy I slept with but ok.
We were both drunk af which ain't much of an excuse but better than nothing. We've always used a condom before.

Not in the US that's my point. I know how easy it is in other countries.
Anyways as I said I'm taking your advice still thanks!

No. 393338

This female I knew took the morning after pill after some guy came in her. She gained a bunch of weight. I'm not sure if it was related to taking the pill. Years later she kept blaming her weight gain on taking that pill one time.

I know this doesn't help you, but don't be so hard on yourself.

No. 393349

That is absolutely false, I even googled it to be sure. Your friend is being dumb.

No. 393368

>here were these memes and posts about it which just screamed fake paid promo made by nintendo, just to give people the idea it was popular,
Do you remember how China and Russia banned Pokemon Go, because the developers Niantic (a Google offshoot, after Google incorporated a bunch of GPS-based tech from startups funded by In-Q-Tel) were alleged to essentially be a CIA front, and pokemon were being clustered around government and military installations in those countries?

I think it was just a little while later that Google street view added the ability to map stores and building interiors with your phone camera.

I think this is potentially a good example of how "they're just trying to make money" can blind us to more direct objective purposes.

No. 393369

I know all about politicians who have forced girlfriends and mistresses into abortions while simultaneously preaching anti-choice for all women. It's disgusting and I'm ashamed to now have less rights than those idiots.

I think I'm most annoyed with my dad. My dad won't even read my thesis because it's apparently too liberal. I'm an economist studying the decrease in absolute upward mobility based on income and other factors. Somehow that's a liberal topic so his response was, "Oh god," when I simply told him what I'm studying. I swear he's become so brainwashed in the past few years.

I am too. I try to be vocal about my opinions on platforms to communicate how backwards it is but the same dudes who reporting pro-life bullshit on Facebook are the same ones who go silent when they see my posts. The women that are with these men must have no respect for themselves.

No. 393374

I legitimately do not understand how people can be Nazis in this current time. The population of Jews is very, very small now. As someone who had upwards of 90 family members killed in the Holocaust, my family name has basically died off as many others have due to the genocide of our families. It's despicable that American white guy edge-lords take something as horrible as the Nazi platform and glorify it knowing how many people, including babies, were experimented on/raped/died for fucks sake. My own ancestor became infertile after being raped countless times as a sex slave to the Nazis. My other ancestor was shot and killed by Nazis in front of his wife, children and his other relatives. There are plenty of stories of executions and experimentation that will show how heartless and disturbed your bf is.

I'd say that there's a chance that your bf is legitimately retarded if this was a new thing but I have to say that if he's been into Nazi shit for a while, then he's probably aware of all of this and just a sick fuck.

In my opinion you've already "lost" him but that is fucking GREAT. Good you know now rather than having to find out after you're married with a kid. Break up with him as soon as possible and then out him across social media. Cowards like him deserve to be exposed and harassed.

No. 393378

The number of actual national aocialists in this day and age is pretty tiny. It's more that anyone with a nationalist bent gets called a nazi. That being said I think American Jews are giant hypocrites (liberal as hell in the US while supporting an apartheid state in the middle east). The hypocrisy is what rubs me up the wrong way when it comes to Jews, along with the nauseating and frankly racist ideas of chosen-ness even secular Jews hold.

No. 393390

I’m not really complaining but I’m just confused, how do you know if you’re attractive?
People say they think I am but I just don’t see it, I think I look weird honestly. Maybe my confidence is just pure shit? I don’t take photos or let people take photos of me for the past couple years.
People all through out school I was made fun of by girls and guys for my poofy hair or fat face, looking ‘anorexic’, maybe it still effects me idk.
All I know is I just hate that I no longer try to dress nicely, looking in the mirror and not feeling hideous. I think I just hate me and I’m too old for this shit.

No. 393394

I mean I don't really think that in 2019 self-identifying as a Nazi = just hating jews. They hate everyone non-white. Most of their hatred seems to be on blacks and arabs now

But I literally cannot believe that anon is considering staying with a fucking nazi lmfao

No. 393396

I was being drunkstupid about something this weekend which lead to me having to leave a club. Even though I was in the wrong I’m not a very large woman and I felt like the security guard and the owner who escorted me out were entirely too rough with me. I can’t stop thinking about it. a small piece of my clothing was even ripped. It’s really bothering me. I’ve never been handled by men like that before and I feel so stupid because it’s my fault (for breaking their policy I guess) but the whole fact that they manhandled me is still really messing with me two days later. I just feel anxious and uncomfortable. is there anything I can do about this? will the feeling go away?

No. 393398

I want to have enough money to live a comfortable life and afford food and a shelter. I don't care about friends anymore, I don't care about socialization, I don't care about how people see me anymore, I don't care about integrity or anything else I just want to die but I know I'll never have the guts to actually kill myself.

No. 393425

There are so many nazis because the left has diluted the word to include almost anyone. Most of this site would be considered nazis because they don't think a man with a beard in a dress should be allowed in the women's bathroom.

No. 393443

File: 1554068096790.png (42.7 KB, 273x371, 7.png)

anyone from the kebabland? we have a local election at the moment and the istanbul voting has been stuck at 98% for the last one hour for some fucking reason

No. 393446

I've completely grown out of anime and see it for the huge pile of shit it really is. I wish I never wasted so much time on it when I was younger and read good literature instead. I could rant about how stupid it all is.

Yeah me too bitch

No. 393448

what were your favorite shows anon?

No. 393449

lmao anon if you 'grew out of anime' it's because you matured, it's not as if you were going to read "good literature" instead. you were an idiot.

No. 393452

Yeah anon, give us the deets.

No. 393453

Was in Istanbul recently and loved it. Are you the told turkish poster who used to post here?

No. 393455

My sister is an obnoxious weeb, how do i help her see the light anon

No. 393457

i don' t remember posting about istanbul before but i do live in istanbul. i'm glad you've had a good time here anon

No. 393484

I just wanna FUCK

No. 393495

It depends on what kind of anime we are talking about but the fact is, that most of them are just shit. There are good ones, most of these are from 80's/90's. Anime nowadays are shitty, they are made only for money.

No. 393528

I have this friend who I see as a sister and adore, but just can't put up with anymore. She is exceptionally ugly and fat, but goes on all the time about how hot she is and it's so cringey. She thinks she's worthy of nothing less than an 8/10 and has straight up said she only wants an ~alpha~. She passed up a guy several leagues above her because she felt she could do better even though she's been alone for years and years, despite constantly on the hunt for a boyfriend. She's creepily obsessed with youtubers and makes major life decisions around them, like planning to move to LA because her favorite YouTuber lives there. She dresses in this God awful "13 yo who just discovered punk" style and has short disgusting dyed hair that looks like shit.

And she's fucking 30.

I just can't deal with being so close to someone like this anymore.

No. 393533

Have you tried talking to her about some of this ? Of course it's not your responsibility to put up with her and you'd be justified in cutting contact if she's that obnoxious, but maybe she's really just not aware. I think the internet and some specific communities encourage this sense of entitlement she seems to have, so maybe she's let them get to her head.

It's worth trying to have a chat about it if she's someone you otherwise care about, at least.

No. 393544

I'd never formally cut her out, I just want to dial our contact back a lot and only talk to her once in a blue moon. I'd rather not talk to her about it because there's just no possible way to bring up these issues that won't probably completely destroy our friendship. Plus I don't think talking to her about it would do any good at all. She would just think I was being a monster. There's not really a nice way to say "you're not nearly as attractive as you think you are, you desperately need to lower your standards in men if you don't want to be alone forever, and you're 30 fucking years old, it's time to stop obsessing over youtubers and looking like you just raided a Hot Topic clearance rack".

No. 393548

I'm tired of having to apologise for taking up space and existing when I see some absolute animals behaving like jungle savages in public and being proud of the fact. Everything nice and useful we get in my hometown they vandalise in a minute and then take a big hot shit on it for good measure. The authorities refuse to do anything about them and even if they were caught they'd just use their connections to get out of triy
trouble. I hate this corrupt shithole and I hate that we can never have anything nice.

No. 393594

i'm really fucking insecure and can't seem to be in a relationship with anybody but my ex and every time i'm moving forward with my life he comes back around and brings back all the feelings I was trying to forget :))))

No. 393641

It's morning and I haven't slept at all because of illness. Well I guess trying to distract myself with glowing screens doesn't help either. I have to be at an important work event in a few hours, something I'd rather not call in sick to. Wish me good luck, anons.

No. 393648

It's really fucking difficult for me to make friends with women and it makes me so sad. Even when I do manage to make a female friend it's often accompanied by constant passive aggressive comments towards me (for example, I've had countless "friends" point out that my boobs are too small or my ass is flat when I never asked for their opinion lol and I would never dare make comments like that to other women) then the friendship ends at some point because they ghost or ditch me. Honestly this shit has happened so many times at this point I guess the problem must be with me, idk what though because despite being pretty self critical / having a lot of social anxiety I think I'm objectively a kind and funny person. I don't have these issues at all with men btw. Nor have any male friends try to make romantic / sexual advances on me like countless farmers have said they've experienced.

No. 393719

File: 1554094884561.jpg (33.45 KB, 499x366, 1KCjU9HYHS8.jpg)

I've been dating this girl for five years. She was perfect for me. She promised me we will run away from this shitty city together. She promised me she would love me forever. She was truly my soulmate. She was the only person I've ever felt comfortable with. I couldn't see my life without her. We had so much fun and so many plans for our future. Together. We planned to have lots of pets and spent a lot of time thinking of names for them. For the first time in my life I actually wanted a family. With her. I wanted to raise a child wih her. I love her more than anything in the world. She's my reason for living. I thought that maybe one day I could finally be happy with her. I couldn't imagine my future without her. At all.
I'm also severely mentally ill. On new years I've had a severe psychotic breakdown which ended in me attempting suicide. She saved my life. She called my mother who called the ambulance.
Ever since then she wasn't the same. She avoids me, tries to spend most of her time with other people. She changes the topic when I talk about love or future. Tries to spend as little time with me as possible. Yesterday I asked her if she even needs me anymore or if I'm just dragging her down with my horrible mental health and relying on her so much. She told me that she doesn't want to lose me, but that she doesn't love me anymore.
I knew it would happen eventually. Nobody could ever love me with how horrible and broken of a person I am. I haven't stop crying really since that breakdown in january, since she started treating me coldly. I knew already. For three months I was more miserable than I have ever been. And then she just confirmed it. And I wish she didn't. I wish I still had hope that it's just a phase, that I haven't lost her.
I don't know what to do anymore. It's all my fault. I lost the only person who meant anything to me and she meant the world. The only thing I see in the future without her is more suicide attempts and eventually a success. I love her so much I don't see myself without her. I don't want to live in the world where she doesn't love me back. But I can't do anything now, can't I? I fucked it up. I fucked it all up.
And it's really fine. She deserves better than me anyways. Someone who's not that ill, at least. I hope the future holds all the best for her. My own future has disappeared with her. And I don't blame her. How could I. It's my fault for being so sick. It's my fault for relying on her so much. It's my fault for obsessing so much about her, for making her my reason to live, my everything. Now I don't have anything and I just lay in bed and cry. I don't even have the will to fucking slit my wrists finally because I hope against hope that she will come back that she will save me once again. Because I know that even if she doesn't love me anymore, my death would hurt her very bad.
God. I'm just… useless.

No. 393785

File: 1554110039223.gif (358.56 KB, 450x450, 66EF7B60-5FA2-41BF-AEC0-2CFC8F…)

I wish I had female friends to teach me how to do make up and dress me up and cosplay with uwu
It’s hard being 6’3 and finding women’s clothing that fits(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 393788

Talk to her about it and try to focus on improving yourself before you expect other people to love you, it's just a self-preservation instinct that people distance themselves from those who are ill. Stop wallowing in self-hatred and go see a therapist/get medicated. Do you have any diagnosis?

No. 393791

Anon, please get help. Reach out to your mum, try to get better. I wish you all the best.

No. 393794

you again, huh? sounding like a tumblry bpdfag as always.

No. 393796

Is there a support group or can anyone give me tips on how to talk to guys? I'm extremely extrmely awkward and get very weird around them. Every interaction is torture at work, I can't even look one of them in the eye even though I desperately want to be friends with him. I just had another painful interaction, my sister was there and even told me I answered really retardledly/weirdly and went off track mumbling to a simple question this guy asked me.

No. 393797

She knew about my illness and wanted to help me. I guess… it changed over the years.
I'm medicated and recently went through a change in meds and the new ones did not quite kick in yet. If they're going to ever kick in. I also have a therapist, but I honestly feel worse after visiting the one assigned to me for free and I can't shop around for another one since dirt-poor.
I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder and would likely be diagnosed with schizophrenia after this round of treatment.

I'm getting all the help I can get, but thank you. My mom is really shitty about my mental health, but at this point I have nobody else in my life at all.

No. 393801

Is there any particular reason why you're awkward around men? If it's just inexperience (not socializing with men often throughout your years) the only remedy I can really suggest is that you overexpose yourself to men to the point where it becomes comfortable. I only socialized with girls growing up and struggled with a similar issue up until I started working jobs that employed mostly men.

No. 393804

… April fools?

No. 393805

I have never had a male friend ever in my life and I'm 21 and just want to stop being so pathetically weird around them. I have a great dad and best friends with my brother but other guys have always bullied me for no reason and I have extremely low self esteem. I'm paranoid they're gonna make fun of me or think I like them. Like this one guy is very very nice to me and always fist bumps me when I say goodbye and I freeze up and openly ignore him to his face. I guess kindness shownntowards me from guys genuinely shocks me and also think its a prank or joke.

No. 393822

Acknowledging and recognizing the paranoia is one thing, but do keep reminding yourself it's just that. And if there's another piece of advice I can give, it's that social interaction (especially the small stuff) is not worth reading into too much. Don't trouble yourself about it, especially if you're actively afraid of making mistakes because that's only going to distract you from what's going on.

No. 393825

File: 1554113346481.png (Spoiler Image, 15.86 KB, 712x414, yes.png)

No. 393881

ts so annoying that I have to get ID checked to go to PG 13 movies. I just look so young, I have a 32” waist so I’m small and thin. Guys won’t leave me alone either, they compliment and ask me out a lot.! It really is a burden because I have to reject them.
I wish I was just average like everyone else

No. 393896

the fucking post office that is holding my parcel only works till 1pm and I assumed it had normal opening hours so I didn't think to check reeeee
have to live another day without moisturiser, great!

No. 393907

Lol what's with the farmhand sperging out

No. 393908

It's April 1st, anon.

No. 393911

Oh fuck I totally forgot tbh. Whoops

No. 393932

This is a really minor vent but I hate when people claim to be huge animal lovers but get grossed out at anything that isn't a dog or cat. How the fuck can you call yourself an "animal lover" if you think someone's a freak for owning a bearded dragon or tell someone who owns rats "ugh that's so gross I would kill it" ??? I despise all sorts of bugs but if I met someone who had a pet tarantula or something I would never make jokes about killing it. If you're scared of rodents or reptiles or whatever that's totally fine but don't be a fucking asshole about it.

No. 393941

this april fools "joke" is kind of annoying. it's just causing derailing in like every thread.

No. 393944

After reading the kpop critical threads I'm starting to like kpop. Oh god I think I'm retarded.

No. 393963

Just hating how guys that apparently have matched with me on dating apps in my area are either super normie and probably share nothing in common with me or trashy “artistic and spiritual” types who probably party and do too many drugs.

No. 393964

Maybe you work/live/study somewhere with an abnormally toxic social norm? They sound like total shitlords, you'll need to find where the chilled out women are hiding. Some places really do just have toxic culture though, like some places I've worked attracted the worst kind of people.
You have to be self aware to avoid those people wasting your friendmaking energy though. Could you yourself be a little bit bitchy or even a pushover?

No. 393977

I can kind of relate. I don't think I've had women make explicitly rude remarks to me but I feel like my female friendships have been higher stress than my male ones.

No. 393983

Came here to say this. lcf has never really been funny with any of the jokes they pull or the thread backgrounds they do sometimes. none of the banners are funny either and those are usually usermade lmao

tfw was banned for sarcasm yesterday and now theyre doing this

No. 393996

I haven't felt this depressed in ages. I'm stuck in my university studies and even doing the bare minimum feels overwhelming and like too much work and I'm afraid I'll never graduate. I hate my major but it's too late to change it, I also haven't made any friends during uni so that doesn't really help the whole University Experience. I've also lost most control of myself because I've felt so anxious and have gained like 5kg in a few months (it wouldn't be as bad if I just hadn't seen much effort to lose -10kg last year). All my friends have already graduated unis and are working and live in a different city than I. Fun. I feel like shit and look like shit too.

No. 394017

this tbh

I think this has happened to a lot of anons honestly. Myself included.

No. 394022

my anxiety has been so bad lately, i'm currently just stuck in the state of dissociation and i can't really do anything about it because stressful things are happening and it's just my body's way to cope with it all. i'm moving to another city, and like, i'm aware that's why i'm more anxious than usual. i just wish the dissociating would go away. my head hurts.

No. 394035

I'm so happy, anon. Looks like I'll actually be getting a fucking degree before I'm 30 and I just got offered a job.
Maybe I'm not a wreck anymore and finally suceeded to steer myself off ten years of intense self-sabotaging behavior.
It's a very small achievement since I graduated high school in 2008 and pretty much been a neet on and off since but, damn, I'm proud.

No. 394057

Occasionally there's an MRA or I guess what you'd call an incel that happens to be in the same community that I am. They're quite vocal about their beliefs so I don't presume anything. Anyhow, they seem lost, insecure, vulnerable so I almost feel sorry but then I realize that they shred any girl that isn't a 10/10 model and I'd probably be thrown to alligators because I'm ugly myself, so I stop feeling sorry.

I hate that I feel anything, I wish I couldn't feel empathy like they do, it would make life so much easier.

No. 394058

this fucking girl keeps indirecting me on facebook because i said cardi b drugging and robbing people was bad. she makes indirects about how people who think its wrong to drug people without consent "dont know what the hood is like." bitch, i know people in the part of my city youre afraid to go to and i will call out shitty behavior as i see fit. go suck on a fucking eggplant you vacuous skank. i fucking hate humans. how is it EVER okay to drug someone even if youre "just robbing them"????

No. 394067

My self esteem has been eroded by trauma and mental illness and it's a long, complicated process to build it up from scratch.
I'm doing everything I can but it's hard often.
I started a detailed, wholesome nature painting and I'm actually proud of the progress. It has been incredibly well-received in updates by friends and acquaintances and makes me feel more hopeful about the prospect of becoming an artist. I'm honestly very happy about it. It's everything I want it to be. Sometimes, I feel so in touch with creative energy and music and art, I feel truly blessed.
However, today I'm in a depressed rut again. I'm too close to my depression and it's hard to look at it with some distance. I caught a cold last week and today, I just slept all day and felt super shitty and guilty afterwards and like all the joy about my painting had been sucked out of me and like everything going on is too much.
I know in the end, the only thing that matters is the result and all the shittiness can't take that away from me.
I like when I can look at my art and it works for me no matter what I went through at the time. I did that regardless and it's something solid and real now that I created. Sometimes, it's so clear to me how valueable that is when I'm looking at something older.
I wish becoming an artist was easier for me and less scary. I wish I didn't feel so much existential fear and that recovery was easier. I wish I could just do art all day everyday playfully and bravely and live off it.

No. 394074

"y'all" is so cringy and it needs to stop

No. 394076

I really dislike that my professor gave me a position in class where I have to do all the event reservations and purchasing for stuff in the department. Everything requires me to get permission from him and the student gov/service, votes from my classmates who couldn’t give less of a shit about anything, typing up all the information from our meetings and submitting requests that take days to complete. He said he gave me the job because I’m more “trustworthy” than other classmates but the truth is that this is such a pain no one else wanted to do it.

No. 394085

growing up the southern burgerland, we would get browbeat in school to stop saying yall and aint and now its a cute funny term to use on the internet. i guess its like the joke about being in catholic school and left-handedness. im too used to being mocked about yall that seeing it being unironically used is omega cringe

No. 394089

I understand my bf is busy with his friends but a quick short text letting me know what he's doing would really alleviate my anxiety.

No. 394092

Same, grew up in the south and I remember kids who spoke like that were looked down on. Same with "fixin". Sorry, if you didn't grow up in the South, you shouldn't be able to say that shit. Even growing up alongside people who spoke like that, I'd feel cringe af/tryhard af trying to adopt it as if it was normal to me. Can't stand all of a sudden seeing people from fucking Rhode Island or the UK adopting southern vernacular and using it as often as they're doing, too.

No. 394094

I've been getting really bad headaches almost daily for months at this point. I went to the doctor and she said that she could give me something but then I'd be taking a pill every day and that wouldn't be good (I agree tbh). So her only suggestion was for me to meditate daily and manage my stress. It's a pain that is mostly around my nose and between my eyebrows. It doesn't seem to me like it's caused by stress. I don't feel like she was concerned about getting to the cause of the headaches.

End result is that I got nothing and I still have headaches. What a waste of a visit.

No. 394098

I hate it when people who never use the word IRL suddenly start using it online especially when it's about political topics like… okay we all know you're trying to sound "down to earth" so non-white people can listen to you

No. 394114

This sounds more like sinusitis than a tension headache.

No. 394186

File: 1554170796462.jpg (135.53 KB, 1000x501, This-Is-Fine-DIY.jpg)

I let myself down again. I wanted to go to a concert in a few weeks alone but I realized that I don't have the guts to go through with it because of my social/generalized anxiety. I already bought the tickets a few months ago, nothing expensive but it's not about the money. It's not that I'm scared to be in the crowd alone, I'm only scared about being in line alone even if it's for a bit. It just seems so lonely and awkward and my anxiety gets ten times worse when people are behind me in a line.
No matter how many times I keep telling myself that no one gives a shit about me being there alone, my anxiety won't stop putting me down. I even thought about arriving later so I wouldn't have to be in line for long but I'm still having doubts for some reason. I keep giving myself pep talks saying life's too short, it's not a big deal, I'm never going to see those people again, no one's judging, etc. me but my brain won't stop. The only thing that diminishes my anxiety is weed and I currently don't have access to it, nor is it legal in my state yet and I know that I would be able to function like a normal person and go if I had some.

I'm sick of hiding in my house, not being able to do the things I want to. I don't even care to see the band that badly but it pisses me off and makes me sad that I'm losing to my illness. I'm a clown at this point.

No. 394197

File: 1554173442966.jpeg (28.73 KB, 474x346, DC01BF2B-8DAE-461A-96BF-8FAC93…)

Coming to the dreadful realization that if my life does not change drastically within the next decade i’m going to end up trapped as the caregiver for my aging parents and sister on SSDI.

I don’t want this. How the fuck do I get out before it’s too late.

No. 394213

I seriously think someone is coming into my apartment during the day and messing around with my stuff and taking a few small things and will then put them back a few days later. Random stuff like my deodorant will be missing and then the next day when I come home from work it's back where I always keep it. The other day I was talking to my mom on the phone about how I couldn't find a specific bra and then the next day after I got back from work I looked in my drawer and it was there. My building has electronic entry so only someone with the master key would be able to get in… and I think it could be the maintenance guy who has always given me the creeps. tomorrow im going to go buy a security camera but I'm terrified right now.

Someone please tell me there's a logical explanation and I'm freaking out for no reason…

No. 394221

Do you do drugs or drink? Take medication? Maybe you have a gas leak.
Other than those, that is terrifying. Can you let someone know/check building security cameras?

No. 394222

You might have a gas leak or something, not trying to freak you out.

No. 394224


I don't drink or do drugs and the only medication I take is birth control

We don't have gas hookup in our building, only electric power, but why would a gas leak be causing this

This has been going on for about a week now that I've been suspecting something is going on

And I'm afraid to say anything to the building because it would have to be an employee coming in. So I dont want to say anything to them yet if I don't have proof. They also don't have security cameras in the hallways that lead directly to the apartments unfortunately

No. 394230

I agree with the other anons this could be amnesia or a stalker, both are serious. Check for a carbon monoxide detector in your apartment and change the battery. If you can't find one get one when you buy the security camera. You can find some that run on batteries for around $20 USD at home improvement stores. CO poisoning can cause amnesia symptoms and I think buildup can be caused by things other than gas leaks like space heaters and stuff.

Be careful anon. Hide the camera well and maybe come home with a friend or a coworker just in case, or get on the phone with your mom before you enter the building. If you notice anything really bizarre write it down with the date and time.

I'm not trying to scare you - you could just be misplacing things - but it's also better safe than sorry.

No. 394233

Because something similar happened to some dude on Reddit (he thought his landlord was coming in his house while head gone and leaving g him notes and shit) and it turned out he had a gas leak making him hallucinate it all.

No. 394238


I dont even have a gas hookup in my building so I dont know how that could be happening and also i'm completely fine except things in my apartment going missing. like at work i'm completely fine

and also I feel like my dog would be showing signs of sickness or would have died

I have a CO detector

I don't have anything like space heaters and I've had the AC on for the past week

I just went to the doctor for my annual physical about a week ago and everything was normal

so I guess I will go get a security camera tomorrow or maybe im just going crazy

No. 394266

I was crawling on the floor to get something and I hit my head on the back of a wood chair really hard. It hurts pretty bad! I'm a little afraid to go to bed now, because I'm worried I had a concussion.

No. 394267

Just lie on your right side and sleep.

No. 394271

File: 1554193568811.jpg (5.68 KB, 245x205, eD1BnBH.jpg)

>mfw ill never be a guy

i honestly think i'm more jealous of men than i am attracted to them. i can't even enjoy being sexual with them because i'm just so stupidly envious that i can't be them and i end up getting turned off by it and accidentally making my bf feel bad. i hate it. it doesn't help that all of the men i know have better lives than me, better families, have had way better opportunities, etc.

No. 394306

File: 1554207932669.jpg (89.27 KB, 900x900, knife.jpg)

>been friends with guy for years
>give him money and shit when he needs it, he always pays me back
>practically his sugar mommy at some point
>all i expect is for him to do the bare minimum and be my friend, see a movie once in a while
>he ditches me everytime he gets a girlfriend
>gets new girlfriend on europe trip
>haven't seen him in literally over 3 months despite attempts to make plans
>randomly asks me to lend him money

No. 394316

File: 1554210285754.jpg (Spoiler Image, 30.39 KB, 800x600, 1544053410bc-172036176.jpg)

Well, sooner or later every mommy (including the sugar one) has to kick her boy out, especially if they both start having less & less in common:
>everytime he gets a girlfriend
>gets new girlfriend
>europe trip

Seems like he doesn't know or would deny this as a part of your "sugar mommy" deal:
>all i expect is for him to do…

>better families
Oh, c'mon, pussy - we don't choose our families. So focus on changing for the better what you can, i.e. your own life, despite men could have
>way better opportunities

P.S. I noticed there're many unhappy kitty-pics in this thread, so I post a happy one with two best friends ;)

No. 394325

File: 1554212084521.jpg (38.85 KB, 418x600, fu.jpg)

Begone scrot

No. 394332

My most recent and second relationship I’ve ever been in ended in a shitty way. Ex asked for a “break” because we got into one single conflict after five months together. It’s been over three weeks at this point and he hasn’t contacted me at all. I just fucking hate him for being such a disrespectful and deceptive coward. He considered himself a good Christian but for him to pull this shit makes me feel he’s a fucking hypocrite.

Oh yeah. He hasn’t returned my rare book even though I asked him to at least mail it back. Fuck this faggot.

No. 394335

That sucks anon, it's so confusing when you're in that place but honestly fuck it, he doesn't care about you enough. Funny how so many guys hide away from their problems/move on without resolving things, yet most of them think they're so great at logical thinking and conflict resolution.

No. 394340

File: 1554214924298.png (280.94 KB, 604x609, 1545080511515.png)

I spoke to my mother about being depressed and suicidal. We were never open with each other and I used to hide things from her even when I was a kid. I knew she cared too much about her own problems and didn't want to add to them.
Today I spilled the beans. I think I might have cried for an hour with her by my side. I told her everything. How I much hate myself, how worthless and stupid I am, how I want to die more than anything, how nothing makes sense and nothing is worth it… And she listened. She offered help with finding and paying for a psychiatrist. She hugged me rather awkwardly and pat at my back and head.
Maybe. Just maybe. She actually cared all this time?

I'll probably be commiting myself to a psych ward soon and be put on suicide watch.

mfw when I'm 24 and completely reliant on my mother for food, shelter and money and now apparently I rely on her emotionally too.

No. 394344

Yeah, the way our last conversation went was pretty awful and indicative of this too. He was extremely condescending and never gave me a chance to properly explain things on my end since I was having an anxiety attack at that point. It’s a bit infuriating thinking about how he probably gets out of this with a clear conscience in his mind because he basically dumped me at an extreme low point.

No. 394349


You made the first step forward in getting yourself help anon, that's something. I'm proud of you.

No. 394351

I did the same thing some time ago and my mom said she doesn't want to help me and that I have to deal with this alone. She also said I dont like my older brother so I had this sudden realization she doesn't really know me and we're like strangers. She tries to compensate her lack of empathy by giving me money and clothes.. since I've opened up to her it doesn't feel the same

No. 394358

I fucked up, I never should have chosen STEM. It's so boring and difficult and I was dumb and naive to think I could make it, but I spet too much money and time on it not to finish it plus there's family pressure.

I should have just stuck with languages and art.
Now I don't have time for anything

No. 394361

Just had an anxiety attack at uni because of my body dysmorphia at age 21.
I fucking hate this. I shouldn't be losing my mind over my skirt not flattering me exactly right. I'm a fucking adult.

No. 394367

That's really wonderful anon, I'm glad to hear she is being supportive and understanding and helping you get the treatment you need. Don't be ashamed of relying on her in any way. She's your mother and you're suffering from a serious illness. Depression and suicidal ideation are freaking debilitating. All you can do now is get medical help and do your best to start recovering, taking those steps forward. One day you can have a happy and independent life and both be proud. Best wishes from a fellow 24 y/o anon who has been through the gauntlet of depression/suicidal thoughts for a long time too (and after a long climb upwards is now actually a lot, lot better). I know this is corny but there really is hope, and your courage to seek support is going to help get you out of that pit of sorrow and pain.

No. 394382

File: 1554223768045.jpg (94.19 KB, 669x825, 1553464469043.jpg)

Yesterday I had another philosophy class in my uni, second semester and we all sit around one big table.
Teacher started talking about current gender roles and prepared old american posters etc.
I feel like 90% of my class is detached from the reality or stuck in anti-SJW times, using expressions like "forced diversity" or how "nowadays women in media cannot be femine and strong, but instead they have masculine traits"??
One girl mentioned how she made post on twitter during pride month about being proud with being straight and how people got mad at her.
There was also another girl talking how "nowadays people want all women to choose career and what if she prefers to stay at home?".
I expected better from an art school.

No. 394392

Stop watching pumpy you stupid fucking scrot

No. 394395

I am leaving my shitty job this Friday and I am counting down every second. This week couldn't possibly be passing any slower.

No. 394399

>I expected better from an art school.

No. 394403

Even as a graduate from an art school, I have to admit that most students there weren’t really the sharpest tools in the shed. After all, their main purpose is learning art, not academics. A lot of art students I knew were basically just huge manchildren and didn’t even know basic art history.

No. 394418

File: 1554233661800.jpg (24.57 KB, 200x356, reverseddeath.jpg)

i've had a lot of major life changes (for the better) lately & it's a good thing overall but dealing with the stress has been a lot to handle. i've had to take a bunch of time off work just to cope, which luckily i can get away with. it's finally starting to settle down but it just sucks that it ever was that bad.

No. 394433

I absolutely detest how writers from the North Americas and Europe insist on calling only themselves "The West" and act like Latin America was not also located at the west.

Why do they feel the need to keep bending language as they see fit? Are they that averse to having anything in common with poorer countries?
Same shit with US people calling themselves Americans as if America was not a whole fucking continent.

No. 394448

Who the hell calls themselves "the West" in europe?? Everybody here hates getting stuck in the same box with americans, there's literally an ocean between us.

No. 394457

I mean not normal people, intelectuals and some scholars

No. 394477

extremrly petty of me and i know that people of any background can struggle with depression or lack of motivation or whatever but jfc pewdiepie's latest video of him running through his life really annoyed me, would have killed for half the opportunities he got lmao

No. 394481

He is garbage, I have no sympathy for someone who always acts like a victim while doing provocative borderline altright stuff and weaponizing his dumb teenager fans.

No. 394490

I have gone on about this in his thread, I def agree with you but I still watch his videos from time to time when bored until a video rustles my jimmies and I stop for a while, this is one of them kek. he's so short sighted it's annoying
let's not even start on his fans.

No. 394494

fuck I feel so distrsssed over everything, I’m sick, I’m losing track of time, I never know what time it is and sometimes I forget where I am.
I can’t stand being agoraphobic, I want independence and to leave the house alone and be normal. I keep trying to find a psych but I feel like I literally can’t. Even thinking about talking to someone alone I don’t know makes me almost cry. How the fuck do I get help?
I’ve never been able to talk about myself unless I’m not sober. Sometimes I think of attempting suicide again, if I fail then I’ll be forced to get help unlike last time. Was in hospital for 4 days and then I just went home and I changed drastically.
I feel like I can’t say I need help with words, under anon helps but that doesn’t solve anything.
I’m always drugged up on benzos to be able to do anything outside. I know my family must resent me now…
Might delete because my paranoid ass mind will punish myself for talking.

No. 394502

I'm the anon from the last thread that was scared their friend was becoming a whale.
Today I learned that a Bandori account she got scammed out of a few months back cost her $400.
I feel like I'm gonna explode.

No. 394516

i'm sick of everything in life having been politicized. i hate that i can't express an honest feeling or thought without being seen as belonging to one side or the other. i hate that everyone thinks in black or white, nothing gray, that art or music or writing made a hundred years ago will be judged by the standards of current year and generally found wanting in some way, whether it's sexist or racist or whatever. i miss the days when my friends and i would talk to each other without worrying that we might say something that would force one of us to be excluded. i don't fit anywhere. even my parents act like these weird puppets who spout talking points they heard on the news. they change their opinions whenever they're told. they'll exclude their friends, too. they're married but they're terrified they might not have the same thoughts or the right thoughts. it's depressing.

i used to have some hope that as time went on i would find other people who felt like i do, but i don't know. i'm tired of everyone being angry all the time like it's fashionable. when i see people like that it looks fake, like they're performing for someone. it's creepy. i don't have anyone in my life who doesn't love getting hateful or pissed off at someone else for having supposedly problematic ideas. apparently, the world is awful, filled with shallow, hateful people. i remember a different time though, and people were different, even five years ago. i've got no one like me to talk to. this should be the best time of my life and instead i'm alienated. i believe the world i live in is actually a good place. but everyone i know gets off on hating so much that they can't even make real friendships anymore. everyone is alone. they spout ideology in place of really caring. i'm not going to fake anger i don't feel. so i guess i get to be alone too.

No. 394522

Extremely this. Ideology can make you blind. I'm in the art industry and it's full of people who really can't see beyond this black and white thinking that is so popular on Twitter. I think if you sit down and actually talk to people on a real level though they will agree that life has more grey areas. It's all a performance I think

No. 394571

Anon I was JUST digging up the thread to vent about this exact fucking thing. Everything has to be made into a political stand, every opinion has to be associated with a political movement instead of a honest personal thought, people are picking everything apart looking for things to find problematic, you're expected to be a hateful piece of shit all the time. I can't browse my social media feed because it pisses me off to see people wasting their time on ridiculous slacktivist hot takes that never made a positive difference. I've stopped interacting with people because one wrong opinion, no matter how well founded it is, or even using unintentionally "bigoted" language gets you on some sort of a blocklist and isolated from your peers.

It's exhausting and I don't know how people willingly want to live like this. It's one thing to acknowledge political hot spots and have an opinion them without pretending like the problem doesn't exist, but when people can't shut their stupid mouths about it and are only talking about it for clout.. that's when it becomes annoying, unhealthy, depressing and serving of no purpose. Who the fuck saved a world on a reserve of passive aggressive clapback tweets?

No. 394587

i agree with your whole sentiment but trump has literally nothing to do with Nazis. not only ideologically, but he is nowhere near as much of a danger as them, it's like comparing having flu in 2019 and the black plague in the 1300's.
conflating the two isn't only laughable and retarded, and something an uneducated American would do, it's harmful because it removes the weight of actual Nazism, which some people ARE even today, and discredits anyone who speaks out about actual Nazis who are actually fucking dangerous and violent.

anyway anon with the nazi boyfriend, beware and get away before it gets grim.

No. 394596

>Get a bf 6 month ago
>Immediately stop watching porn
>Feel lonely and want to flick the bean today
>Go to pornhub
>Click a random video
>Wants to puke

Holy shit I've never realized how disgusting mainstream porn look, I was so desensitized. The girls look like huge nasty whores spreading their holes aparts for the camera like literal objects, the men have ENORMOUS penises, they barely go down on the girl, they pound them so violently I can feel their pain, it's plain disgusting.
Even a cute girl end up looking nasty because of the disgusting poses, weird expressions and ridiculous sounds she make. Thanks god I have my imagination.

No. 394611

seriously. 90% of porn truly disgusts me. the only stuff I can stand is the romantic shit just because it doesn't look as grotesque and unrealistic.

No. 394616

I'm sure this is petty and immature but if my friend doesn't reply or acknowledge me within the next week I'm going to auto mark his messages as trash and cease contact. I'm tired of thinking about him and I'm tired of hinging my happiness on our communication. I know it's not fair of me to do since I take just as long sometimes to get back to him, but I have my reasons. He has his too, but they're not the same as mine. I'm not keen on forgiveness when I clearly don't matter as much as he does to me. Being forgotten doesn't feel good, and knowing he has more important priorities that are always going to take place over me isn't reassuring to this insecurity of mine. I'm not a well-adjusted person. I wanted to give this a chance but it's been half a year now and I think it's safe to say this isn't working.

No. 394617

Not to sound rude but is it because you have a crush on him?

No. 394627

Why does it crush me do much that my father watches porn? I shouldn't have held my parents to high standards, I guess. Just last week he fucking cried that my mom was the best thing to ever happen to him… I feel like I'll never have a respectful relationship. I am just disgusted.

No. 394633

Anon, all men watch porn, it doesnt mean anything.

No. 394634

I feel so out of control of my emotions. I’m in university and I feel like I’m at my wits end and I can’t even focus to do coursework anymore. For some reason I thought I could function fine without a therapist or communicating with my doctor, but I was so wrong, and I feel fucking awful.

No. 394644

How can the fact that her dad probably watch women her age being sexually abused on camera mean nothing? Just because every man does it doesn't make it okay or not upsetting.

No. 394645

This. I fucking hate this. I fucking hate porn and the fact that every man is secretly either pornsick or on their way there.

No. 394650

Jesus Christ, why are men on dating apps so goddamn boring? They almost all just write the same generic shit in their bios (FOODIE, GYM, TRAVEL) and have the same generic selfies. Nothing about their profiles compels me to swipe right on them even if they are attractive and I’ve been flipping through this crap for the past couple of days.

No. 394651

I sometimes watch porn but the ONLY thing I can stomach is pretty much amateur closeups of normal genitals going at it posted by the community. Graphic and gross, yes, but far less disgusting than the popular page imo.

No. 394652

I think you're overreacting, but you do you!

No. 394653

art school is filled with pickmes

No. 394656

File: 1554301189102.jpg (67.5 KB, 503x795, 68440f8d9187963e8d5fb901ac3b6f…)

stuff like this legitimately repulses me. people being romantic and trying to be "cute" at each other in public grosses me out. i don't even want it for myself. yet in fiction, i love stupid romance tropes and plotlines. i don't get it.

No. 394666

most women on these apps are the same. either most people are just extremely boring or they are hiding any interests to seem as normie as possible. it's like trying to find a gem in a sea of netflix and brunch.

No. 394671

I found a zine some classmates published in my professor's classroom and one of the comics looks like it has a bunch of traced art from Ginga Legend Weed…

No. 394674

I’ve been depressed for so long I rarely feel anything, the exception being when I’m eating at restaurants or having fast food. I feel good and happy eating something delicious. I worry this is gonna lead to me becoming overweight, which I’ve never been before, and then I’ll start feeling worse.

No. 394677

Anon, she said he voted for trump in addition to also being a Nazi. Therefore he is literally a trump supporting Nazi.

No. 394689

You need to try a dating app that's more suitable. I liked coffee meets bagel because people have longer descriptions there. You could try Hinge or OKC as well.

No. 394690

I moved to a big northern US city and the passive aggressive nature of everyone here is driving me up the fucking wall.

I come from a place that’s very different in general communication etiquette (the South) and I think the biggest thing driving me nuts is how much of a pointless waste of energy it is. Like you’re spending more energy telling someone they’re doing something wrong or pointing out mistakes when speaking that are fine to ignore. It feels like I have to mentally prep myself for even the smallest conversations and it’s insane. I miss just being able to goof off with people and not feel like I’m under a microscope when having conversations about the weather or coffee or whatever with coworkers and strangers. My BF is very charismatic with words and runs into this too, so it makes me feel less like a sperg at least. It just feels strange going from a place where friendliness and amicability was valued to where those traits make people think you’re retarded or a doormat or both. Like fuck, no one owes me their time but if you go out of your way to talk to me I’d like it to be pleasant at least.

No. 394692

I've lived in the South all of my life, and I'm worried about this when moving to somewhere else. People say southern hospitality is fake but I'd rather have people around me be friendly than criticizing me all of the time.

No. 394700

I don't think I'm ever going to trust a guy who calls any of their exes "crazy" ever again. They often turn out to have extreme character flaws of their own and are just in deep denial about it.

No. 394709

this is how i feel about men who claim their mother or ex-girlfriend abused them. they're not all lying, obviously. women are capable of abusing men, i realize that.

it's just every man who's ever told me this HAS been lying, and has turned out to be talking about his ex-girlfriend not wanting to do anal, or his mother telling him to keep his room clean. and i'm not talking 1 or 2 men here, i know at least 7 men on and offline who have said they were abused and actually just meant shit like this.

No. 394716

I experienced the reverse of this. I grew up in a big city and then moved to a rural area. It creeped me out for a while that everyone was so friendly. It didn't help at the time that I was a teenage edge lord with a superiority complex who thought all country people were simple and stupid. Now I would never go back and live in a city. Country life is much more wholesome and I really appreciate the community of people around me.

No. 394723

I have made too many enemies in my life. I tried getting a fresh start by moving but I have already gotten in a fight with a friend's mother after she called me a slut. I spent so much of my childhood being abused and walked all over I have a really hard time letting things slide when people are even slightly rude. I just become filled with rage. I've heard myself say things and it doesn't even feel like its coming out of my mouth it's so horrible. I think I need counseling for my anger issues. I'm never violent and to ever physically hurt someone would horrify me but I have very violent dreams that make me feel terrible after. I think if I were to ever move back home I would be jumped or even murdered for some of the things I've said to people. I visited my hometown for a bit just a month ago and I was too scared to even go outside.

No. 394749

I absolutelly hate hoarders they are fucking pieces of shit human beings incapable of really caring for anyone and extremelly materialists.

My dad is basically taking my things, childhood toys and books, under arrest as he refuses to let me enter the stupid second flat he rents only to store shit that has some of my stuff.
The absolute garbage man never had a problem spending money for more storage space or about living in filth or about never allowing me to have a bedroom growing up, the room that was supposed to be mine was full of his boxes of trash, but now is all worried and sad uwu because the building is asking him to give back the keys for the trash storage flat because they renovating the spaces and he never signed a contract.
Me taking the stuff I wont ever want anymore and donating it to charity would if anything help his incompetent ass emptying the flat faster but noooo, he keeps insisting that if I take my thing from there I will somehow get into his way.
I hate him so much, he never cares at all for what others need, want, or if something is not his. He's like a black-hole, if you leave anything near his living space he acts like it's his property.

No. 394759

fuck the guy from the library who left his power strip unattended for 2 hours such that it looked it was from the library itself and them acted like a cunt when I was using it.

It had five fucking plugs and he made the point of umplugging it and sitting two table away in order to plug it on another socket. Wtf dude, you could share.

No. 394804

Yes, and I hate how my brain won't let it go. We've already talked about it before. If I can't provide the things he wants in a relationship then it won't work out. He never seemed keen on pursuing anything serious with me anyways. Can't blame him.

No. 394806

I… don't know if this is the wrong place and tmi but fuck.
My boyfriend recently came out to me saying how uncomfortable he is with the sex we've been having, I really like being hurt, it stems from… things in my past, it slowly became a coping mechanism for me as I used to selfharm profusely to the point where most of my body is scars. He was abused physically as a child (as opposed to my sexual abuse,) and when he hits me, it brings back memories of bad things. The thing is, it's hard for me to feel sexual pleasure if I'm not being hurt. I understand it's a lot of rewiring and it's probably just stuff I need to work out with him together but I feel so awful over it, I already feel like a broken mess and this just adds onto it.

No. 394814

please go to therapy, anon. coping mechanisms hurt you more, and you're hurting him too.

No. 394823

I'm already in therapy, I just don't see her until the ninth. I'll really talk it over with her, though.

No. 394827

that's good then, anon! it just sounds really worrying for the both of you. good on your bf though for trying to help you stop. you deserve to be able to experience sexual things in a gratifying and loving way. coping like that is hard. it can become addictive even, but i know you can be strong and set your goals with your therapist to heal!

No. 394828

File: 1554336183082.png (192.26 KB, 500x307, tumblr_inline_o426q1c5zb1s6g3w…)

i know the combo of my meds and school workload have started to make me loose weight in a unhealthy way but honestly I have always been unhappy with my ( typically normal leaning overweight body and my codependent relationship with food ( even a full blown 500 cal a day eating disorder in high school) so im letting this happen and not telling my girlfriend or anybody frankly and seeing if i can actually get to a weight im happy with. and i know its fucked but ive never been in the 130-120 pound range and its just out of my reach

No. 394839

I've quit my bipolar meds a month ago and still didn't tell my therapist about it. I'm crushed by a depressive episode so hard, even the fact that I'm going to a gig in another city in a few hours isn't helping. I'll meet my friend there, but it's like I don't care about it at all. I hate the fact that I need to take meds, it makes me feel like I'm incomplete, a mutant that has no place among normal healthy people.

No. 394852

I’ve been dealing with an eating disorder since I was 14 and I’m in university now and I still deal with it. I was a heavy preteen and have been an underweight adult. Recently I went to the doctor and found out I’d lost thirteen pounds in the last year I’d seen her without really doing anything but it made me think about what I’d done to actually lose that weight and the answer was basically starving myself for the whole day and only eating little bits when I did finally eat because I thought it’d shrink my stomach. My eating disorder was brought on by a lot of things, but one big thing that kicked it off was my long term boyfriend in high school broke up with me. I’ve been tentative to date ever since because of how I react, along with other stuff (sexual assault, transferring, moving back in to home, depression and anxieties around body worsening, etc) But I found a guy who’s really nice and I like him a lot - he seems to care about me but I hate being this way. I’m eating even less now and am scared of eating at all because I’m worried that if I gain weight he won’t be attracted to me. I want so desperately for things to work out but it’s pushing me deeper into my disorder and I don’t even know what to do about it. I feel pathetic and stupid, which I know I am because I can’t get a hold of my head after all this fucking therapy. I wish he would just break up with me already because I’m such a fucking loser.

No. 394864

Plenty of people need to have breathing assistance equipment, plenty of people need to take medication to help their immune systems function normally, plenty of people need blood or plasma donations, plenty of people need to take vitamins or supplements to reach normal levels of nutrition.
Those people are mutants or incomplete, except to jehovas witnesses.
Take your medicine anon.

You're adults and I'm not going to get into your EDs because you both know you aren't going to listen to an anon online, but please remember that calorie deficit (and obsessing about it) impacts on your ability to learn. Why are you both in university?
If you want to graduate with any meaningful grade or even to persue a career, reach out to a friend or family if you can and/or see if your schools have counseling support. You got this far to get into higher education, don't let this illness take that away from you.

No. 394877

anon with ED & Boyfriend - this is something I think about constantly. I think about how my brain doesn’t function right because I’m so stupid that I can’t even eat right. I’ve always done very well in school and I’ve excelled through my degree (graduating a year early). but I’m so fucking slow and it takes me forever to think of a decent cogent point in class or can’t remember things I read even minutes ago. I picked a business degree with an additional business minor bc my school requires it and it’s really hard to get through the day. You’re totally right when you make the point that it’s hard to get through university with an ED because you literally can’t think. I feel awful all the time because of it because I feel like my brain is just wasting away but my body remains the same.

I used to go to the school nutritionist but she was a person who was obviously not over her eating disorder and it really showed in the way she treated me. I also went to the school therapist and fell off it because I couldn’t be assed to make consistent appointments. It’s absolutely pathetic and just sheer laziness. I have no excuses. I really need to get my shit together because you can’t be starving yourself in an office all day.

No. 394893

File: 1554349383171.jpg (61.57 KB, 464x464, 1531432431319.jpg)

I just had my period for 5 days straight. It was horrible. Felt like shit every day. Now 5 days after it ended, I am spotting again with cramping. What the fuck?????????

No. 394910

I've had this happen to me it went away with time, it was really strange. But if you're worried you could always contact your gp

No. 394928

I cut ties with my mom 4 years ago, she was incredibly abusive verbally and physically to me growing up, and kept my hostage at home instead of helping me accomplish my goals and grow up independently and yadda yadda details aren't important. I was guilt tripped into handing over my number to her a year ago (I didn't want to see her so my bf gave her my number). The other day she called me 40 fucking times. I don't want to see her or talk to her ever again, but I still have a nagging feeling I should call back. I don't know what to do.

No. 394930

Is it strange? I usually have my period for 5 days with only light spotting the last two days of it. I thought periods usually lasted almost a week?

No. 394936

Keto is iffy enough as is, but I really don't understand how people can even begin to think the "carnivore diet" is healthy. Even if it can make it easy for some people to lose weight because meat is filling, increasing your risk of colon cancer seems hardly worth it.

No. 394939

I have something similar. Really intense for the first couple days but usually stops by the 5th day with occasional spotting afterwords. Sorry to get tmi but I would have flecks of what looked brown but was actually blood in my discharge. It's apparently normal and is the uterus' way of cleaning itself out. It hasn't happened to me in a while though it just naturally went away. If you have no other symptoms it's probably normal

No. 394944

Lol I had a roommate do keto and she kept trying to eat high fat meats like bacon to lose weight

No. 394951

I feel old, anon. I'm almost 30 and starting to think about the fact that no one is going to think I'm attractive anymore. I was never much of a beauty to start with but I'm starting to see damage.
Plus, my personality is rotten. I'm becoming the worst I've seen in my mom (over-anxious to the point of paralysis, over-thinking everything, painting everything in black, being over-controling because incertainty gives me literal panic attacks) and I can't stop it. Every time I try to be different, I end back to the same point. Talking to a profesionnal end up making me worse because everytime it's just been dwelling on everything that makes me anxious to the point of ending up every session in tears and feeling like a fucking 10 yo kid.
Just took half a xanax at work and I'm still on the verge of crying. I'm a mess.

No. 394952

Ketofag here. You can eat low carb vegetables on keto. In fact, the brunt of the carbs you are supposed to have (20-50g) should be veggies.

You're supposed to have high fat on low carb diets. Fatty foods aren't the enemy on keto, as you're burning fat instead of glucose, unless it's saturated/trans fats.

No. 394954

30 isn't old anon. I wish people would stop saying that it makes people freak out. I hate that so many women feel old by 30, it's not their fault it's society but it's sad

No. 394955

Yep, you're right.
The laws of thermodynamics are never going to change, it's calories in and calories out but keto basically forces the body to burn fat after it's depleted of sugar so it works, and it can help because high fat meals keep some cravings away.
But it can also lead to some serious carb cravings in others.

No. 394956

You’re supposed to eat high fat meats while on keto, fat isn’t even bad for you - sugar is, which is what low fat alternatives tend to have a lot of

No. 394960

Yeah but red meats aren't really good for you?

No. 394965

Same here anon

its because we're so easy to talk to. people tell me shit without me asking and think I'm not judging them. I won't judge them outwardly but I will go on lolcow and throw judgment.

No. 394994

>You can eat low carb vegetables on keto. In fact, the brunt of the carbs you are supposed to have (20-50g) should be veggies.
I actually eat more vegetables on keto. I always have a portion of low carb vegetables with a meal. I even eat vegetables that I didn't before because everything is so much more appetising when it's dripping with butter.

Red meat is a really rich source of essential amino acids and micronutrients like B12. It's especially good for women because red meat also contains a lot of iron.

No. 394999

Red meat is a carcinogen btw. Not to say it can't be consumed in moderation. Keto is not good nor sustainable long term unless you're getting the majority of your fats from avocados or nuts or other unsaturated fat sources. It is good for losing weight though. I'd argue most of the weight loss people see on keto is water weight/cutting out added and refined sugars/simply eating less, which you should be doing on any weight loss diet anyway. Nothing wrong with whole grain carbs and fruit.

No. 395000

Is anything not a carcinogen these days though

No. 395005

I was diagnosed with severe anxiety because of my work and I've been browsing through job finding apps before I leave the shithole I'm currently in.
I got a call today for a interview. More than a decent wage, benefits, travel opportunities. Yet somehow my brain fucked up and got a panic attack mid-call. I had to hang up, they tried calling me again but I couldn't pick up and then got a message from the app telling me they discarded my CV.
Fuck's sake I know I don't need to start working as soon as I leave the current job but do I have to be on pills 24/7 in order to function? My doctor told me to take one before I go to sleep.
Anyway I can't wait to leave that awful place. I feel sorry for my coworkers but I can't stand that abuse any longer. I will try to get a medical leave before I input my 15 days so I don't have to deal with my shitty manager and boss anymore.

No. 395018

Am starting on quetiapine (seroquel) to help stabilise my moods. I'm now incredibly worried about the weight gain. I have history of an ED and recently came out of a 3 month relapse and have gained to a healthy weight. I'm just terrified.

It's such a dumb thing to be worried about, I just want to get better.

No. 395033

>haven't talked to my mom in 2 days because I'm stressed af
>suddenly scared she'll show up unannounced
>even more stress because I just wanna be left alone for a bit

Had no fucking idea this was even a problem and I need to have a talk with her about boundaries asap

No. 395034

what dosage are you on? if it's low, i wouldn't worry about it. If it's higher, you may gain weight but taking care of your mental health is very imporant, my brother has been on a high dose since his 20s (he's 30 now) and he gained a bit of weight but not much. i know it's easy to get carried away with an ed but if you eat regularly, just stay away from sweets you should be okay. my heart goes out to you anon and i wish you the very best.

No. 395039

File: 1554388880427.jpg (196.12 KB, 1000x1000, eWmVTZE.jpg)

I got put on Wellbutrin for depression and I was a little excited that one of the side effects is appetite loss because I am a fucking PIG and can barely control myself when it comes to junk food. And I eat super fast too, so something like a bag of chips or giant chocolate bar will disappear in an instant because I eat like I'm a starving prisoner who just got out of a fucking gulag or something. Somehow it evens out so I'm only skinnyfat and not obese lol but I still dislike my body and want to lose some weight but I always sabotage myself by pigging out on sugary processed garbage.

I was reading some experiences of people who had been on the drug and one person said that after taking it, they became very sensitive to sugar and anything mildly sweet tasted nasty to them. I was really hoping that would happen to me, because Lord knows I fucking need it.

It's been a couple months and it's been working pretty well for my depression, actually. It's no miracle cure and the progress is slow but I've still felt better than I have in a long time. Unfortunately it didn't do anything to curb my appetite. I ate an entire pint of ice cream in less than 15 minutes earlier today and now I just had a fuckload of Nutella. The only reason I stopped is because Nutella is super rich and after a small amount it makes me want to puke, but I still want to eat more. I seriously considered getting a bag of chips from the kitchen even though I feel gross and bloated. What the actual fuck is wrong with me? I guess I shouldn't expected the drug to do much since side effects affect every individual differently but damn, I was really hoping it would curb my inner fatty.

No. 395041

Less about the weight gain and more about the general horrible nature of seroquel. There's other alternatives, latuda is one of them. Seroquel worked for me in the short term (about a month) but the doctor's kept uping the doses and my entire family noticed the difference. I was literally a zombie. Horrible brain fog, tremors, etc. Read up more on the history of seroquel and the lobbying done to keep it in circulation. There's a reason why the put everyone on it and it is not in the patient's interest.

I was diagnosed with BP-2 and this was just one of the many drugs they put me on. I am now 4 years med-free after 5 years of falling for for the MAT meme.

It's hard to know where your problems end and where they begin when medication is involved.


No. 395078

I knew a guy that had severe bipolar with schizophrenia attributes and gained a massive amount of weight on a cocktail of medications, I think seroquel might have been one. I don't want to scare you though, do your own research and talk to your doctor (I sound like a pharma commercial lol).

No. 395093

File: 1554398543824.jpg (89.4 KB, 541x960, 56161311_1216966488472219_5566…)

My husband compulsively wipes his ass until it bleeds, going through a quarter-to-one half of a toilet paper roll per poop. I have to buy a 12-pack of toilet paper every week. Currently we live in an apartment, so not worried about the septic, but once we have our own place this is surely going to become more of an issue.

I have even tried to encourage him to use wet wipes, but it just results in him using more of those to supplement the TP.

Wtf do I do?

No. 395096

Buy a washlet/bidet attachment for your toilets. Better to pressure wash than what he's been doing. Cheap ones are like 40 bucks and hook right up to the tank, any idiot can set it up in ten mins.

No. 395097

That's a very good idea. My feeble American mind did not even consider a bidet. Thanks!

No. 395099

I don't want this to sound rude or condescending but if he really has some sort of OCD compulsion therapy might be helpful in the long run (speaking as someone who has similar compulsions)

No. 395109

Seeing the backlash on the r/BlackPeopleTwitter April Fool's prank disturbs me.
Some people are ready to devolve to racial abuse and full-on white supremacy over literally anything. What would they have done if it stayed closed for a week? Plan to shoot up Reddit's headquarters (for allowing it to happen) while quoting Martin Luther King Jr. and wearing KKK hoods?
I know Reddit was always a cesspool, but jesus christ. Why is it that the internet (and society as a whole) is so thick with racial tension?

No. 395118

It's the last couple of days of classes at my uni and I feel so sad. I felt sad last semester too, I just like routine and I think the 3 month mark is right when I get comfy so it's upsetting.

Does it get better? This is my first year. I'm just so easily attached and I'm going to miss my profs and classmates.

No. 395121

This is a dumb thing to vent about: When my husband talks to his teammates in csgo, sometimes I make a joke to him about their situation or general daily events. He sort of steals it and then tells his teammates the joke, and they think he's the funniest thing in the world because of it. I don't even think they know I exist.. dammit I'm the funny one!

No. 395147

my boyfriend has two minutes till his alarm sounds. IT's 9:13 and were supposed to go see a movie with his friend. It's "us" and I've been really looking forward to seeing it since the friend has employee passes and we can't afford to see it otherwise. He fell asleep about 20 minutes ago and told me "just wake me up" but he's (unconsciously) hit me before when I try to wake him up. not his fault I've gone through similar. I've kicked/hit him or fallen off the bed in ptsd nightmares but I'm so frustrated. As of 9:17 he can't even hear his alarm because his phone is on silent.

No. 395149

Let him sleep and go alone lol

No. 395150

I don't have a phone right now and I've never met this friend before

No. 395151

File: 1554410363594.jpg (12.66 KB, 297x297, 1531381528_another cat.jpg)

No. 395155

My sister pulls the same shit. There was this one time i said something, she decided to tweet it and it went viral.

No. 395174

File: 1554416043920.jpg (97.44 KB, 600x579, semen tree.jpg)

Every spring and summer where I live smells like semen. Fuck whoever thought it was a good idea to plant photinia and callery trees in every public space.

No. 395180

>decide I'm giving up on men because they always disappoint me after I talk to them
>"I'll just look at them, just eyecandy. nbd."
>cute boy smiles at me 3 (three) times
You think I'd learn after the first let down.

No. 395184

Thank you for clarifying 3 for us anon

No. 395185

File: 1554419294649.jpg (47.92 KB, 800x450, crying.jpg)

super depressed. was going to spend time with my best friend who lives in a different state next week. super looking forward to it because everything else has been shit the past months. cancelled because university is too stressful. next chance to meet is in 3 months. fml.

No. 395188

It was a bit of a meme on tumbleweed in 2015-16.
…I still think it's goofy.

No. 395192

people being flirty in public and with others is annoying because it serves as a constant reminder that I don't have anyone to do those things with.

No. 395213

File: 1554429418429.jpg (115.57 KB, 500x667, bradfordpear.jpg)

I used to live in an area with bradford pear trees and they were literally nicknamed the cum trees because of how they smelled when the flowers bloomed during spring, I know your pain anon

No. 395225

And people look at me crazy when I say pollen smells like cum.
Also sneezes sometimes.
And certain tomatoes.

No. 395260

even though I'm a Marxist I'm starting to despite people on the left

No. 395264

well yeah because a lot of leftists aren't leftists and are praising individualism but are calling actual leftists liberals for condemning individualism

No. 395267

more then that people on far-left all seem to be assholes who can only be mean to people and thats it

No. 395268

the far left is filled with internet tough guys who posts LARPing about how eager they are to massacre fascists,Nazis,TERFs,capitalists,(anyone they disagree with really) or send them to gulags of whatever I mean do these Idiots think that it will be like a video game key example being r/ChapoTrapHouse

No. 395269

older people on the left are a lot nicer/less retarded. they're not on twitter or reddit or posting online about murdering 'TERFs' or nazis though because, again, they're not retarded.

No. 395314

Thank you, anon. I'm being increased to 100mg to start with, so a low dose atm. I'm unsure as to what the hell my psych is even thinking tbh, 100mg isn't really a therapeutic dose for anything that he suspects I suffer with. I honestly despise all these hoops I have to jump through just to get some fucking therapy. It's driving me insane.

Yeah, I suspect I have BP-2 but haven't discussed a diagnosis with doctors yet. I feel pretty conflicted as the psych who prescribed me them was very pro-medicine (which I'm not, even though I'm a medfag) and discussed therapy as if it were secondary to meds… Which I found bizarre. The SSRIs I tried stopped working for me, but the NHS essentially won't provide therapy without being medicated/stable for a couple of months first, it's frustrating. CBT is probably the only thing that's going to help me long-term and they're dangling it in front of me like a carrot on a stick.

No. 395323

I'm jealous of the girls that have a lot of followers on Instagram, especially of those that have weird anesthetics and pictures. I wanna be popular with my art and pics in my community too but unfortunately I don't know how to socialize with people and no one knows I exist and I'm not even ugly or anything. I just wanna have fiends and be a part of a community that has people that share my interests but I guess I'll always be an outsider I just wanna be accepted and have a social life but I can barely leave the house and I'm stuck being a camgirl in eastern europe I wanna kill myself and I know it will happen I know I won't reach to live to 25

No. 395330

I did something fucking awful, so so stupid, and terribly out of character due to my constant drinking and overall just not taking care of my mental health. Now my boyfriend of almost 2 years fucking hates me, and rightfully so.
In the past few months there were a couple times where I had entertained the idea of selling some topless photos to someone who inquired and had previously sent me some money before on like my birthday and once when i made a public post asking for help so i had enough money to get to work amd eat for the week. And recently i actually did it.
I really honest to God cannot think of another reason why I would do this other than the fact that my judgment has been severely skewed recently, I lost sight of everything that actually mattered. I was spending way too much money on stupid shit loke alcohol and expensive food i rarely ever eat or finish. And my dumb ass thought of it as just a quick and easy way to make money so that i could still spend money like a selfish asshole and still be able to pay my portion of our bills, rent, food, stuff for the cat, household stuff etc. So i didnt even NEED the money.
I didnt enjoy doing it, i really did not. But i temporarily felt good when i had that extra $$ so i can go buy a fucking $20 lunch that ill end up taking 2 bites of and a pint of vodka.
I'm so damn stupid. The thought didnt occur to me until after my bf said it, but i didnt even think to just send some pictures of some random person, since he didnt even require that my face be in them.
Anyway, this really jolted me back into reality, and it really sucks that it had to get this bad and come to this for that to happen.
Ive never felt so ashamed and worthless and disgusting in my life. I dont think I'll ever forgive myself. I dont even feel like a person anymore. I feel like the physical embodiment of everything my boyfriend said about me in retaliation.
I would have never in a million years thought he would say the things he said to me or do the things he did. I dont want to get into it though because i really do not want anyone to demonize him when i caused all of this to begin with. Ill just say that anything he physically did to me was nothing to me compared to the things that were said to and about me. It was all fucked up but i still feel like i deserve it. I dont feel sorry for myself, i keep telling myself 'you made your bed, now fucking lie in it'. I would let it all go un a heartbeat for another chance.
I got so caught up in my own bullshit that i severely hurt the person closest to me, and now i lost the best thing i ever had- one of the very few things that genuinely made me feel happy and loved. All because i wanted to fuck around, escape reality with alcohol and try to live in lala land which ultimately lead me to make the biggest mistake of my life.
I feel so hopeless, the damage done seems completely irreparable. He wants nothing to do with me anymore, will never see me the same way again and there's nothing i can do about it. I dont even have any desire to get help and better myself and move on with my life if he's no longer be a part of it. I know that's not a healthy mentality, but thats just where my head is at and staying at at the moment.

No. 395341

Same anon.

I know this is kind of stupid to wish for but i wish i could just post selfies but im too insecure and hate how i look in photos.
I also wish to have an art insta but i don't have much time to draw anymore

No. 395355

I doubt you have the initiative to kill yourself by then

No. 395359

I've noticed that over the last few months my mood has been very strongly linked to the weather. On overcast or rainy days I'm irritable, unmotivated and I cry a lot. On sunny days I'm much more upbeat, cheerful and motivated. It pisses me off to know my mental state is this dependent on something as unpredictable and uncontrollable as the weather. Light therapy doesn't work for me, it has to be the actual sun.
What the fuck, brain.

No. 395361

Well fuck anon I'm from the south what do you expect

No. 395363

Please keep us updated anon im genuinely curious at this point.

No. 395365

That's good though anon.. My boyfriend's mom did the exact opposite she literally told him to try harder next time (when he tried to commit suicide a few years back). She's trying anon take it.

No. 395381

File: 1554483681429.gif (826.39 KB, 324x183, giphy.gif)

I wish my parents would get a divorce or go to counselling or SOMETHING. They're incompatible - my mother is extremely passive aggressive and can't communicate for shit, doesn't matter how patient you are and she tries to resort to victimizing herself whenever faced with any sort of criticism and my father, while he is a good man, he's a bit of a man child when he doesn't need to be and somewhat lazy.

I'm so tired of them constantly fighting and basically having to take care of both of them, it's like I have to live with a bunch of fucking children and I'm SO tired of it. Wish I could move out already.

No. 395388

I feel you anon although for my parents, my mom is a doormat and my dad has been emotionally abusive toward her and has cheated on her multiple times. Mom refuses to seek therapy because she doesn't think it will help and that a therapist would just tell her to divorce. I sometimes end up having to deal with their bullshit especially my dad's tantrums. It's emotionally draining.

No. 395389

Why do polyshits always have to announce they're polyamorous like 5 times a day? Shut the fuck up no one cares.

No. 395406

that's right. though saying he's a trump supporting nazi is as relevant as saying he's a jaywalking nazi or a nazi who spits chewed gum on the pavement, what's worrying is the actual nazism.
i'm quite afraid of people being liberal instead of wary w political terminology, the ones benefitting from it are the actual crazy genocidal types because speaking out on them loses credibility and people are desensitised to the label.

No. 395412

I fucking hate my sister in law so much
now understand my sister-In-law is a Mooch and a woman child
She stays with her parents but sometimes comes to live with her older brother i.e my husband
so all she does is stay in the guest room with her laptop watching anime and cartoons
She bathes about once every 2 weeks and refuses to change her clothes and sometimes takes my shirts
she makes comments about my height and becasue I'm GNC she "jokes" that my husband and I are a gay couple though she is in her 20's she sometimes asks my Husband to carry her up the stairs

No. 395419

I told my friend that I liked him, he said he felt the same way that I did but he said he doesn’t think he’s ready for a relationship. I understand completely and the both of us aren’t really the most mentally stable people so maybe it’s for the better that we don’t have a romantic relationship but for some reason I can’t help but feel extremely sad and feel like he thinks I’m a creep and only said he felt the same way as I did so he didn’t hurt my feelings

No. 395432

File: 1554497068378.jpg (42.3 KB, 500x502, llh8uxQ.jpg)

Every time I get home from work and I'm around my mom I end up in the world's foulest mood. I feel perfectly fine at work, a little annoyed and sometimes stressed if its busy but never mad like I am at home around my mom. I'm fine around my dad and brothers most of the time, but my mom just makes me feel so stressed. She doesn't even have to say anything she could just be around me and I end up feeling so stressed out. I just turned 20 and have every reason in the world not to move out yet as it would be financial suicide considering I only made barely $12k last year at my shit paying minimum wage retail job, but right now my mom is the only reason I would move out.

The older I get the less I can tolerate from her. She feels like another sibling rather than a parent. My dad's had to take on both parental roles since I was a kid. He says stuff like, "I'm not gonna deal with her shit after retirement, I can't" but my mom loves to joke about how she gets half if he divorces her and shit like that. I feel bad for both of them because they could be out there dating and finding someone that actually makes them happy instead of going at each other all the time, I feel worse for my dad though. My mom gets worse with age and the thought of him having to put up with her shitty behavior for the rest of his life is depressing. I don't even think I could do that, I feel bad for it but I feel so much less stressed whenever I think about cutting down contact with her to a minimum.

I genuinely hope they divorce once everyone's out of the house, it would make me so happy to see my dad be able to retire and grow old with someone who he actually wanted to be around. It would make me happy if my mom found someone to do the same thing with too. They'd both be so much happier in the long run.

No. 395433

I feel the same around my mom, and my parents actually divorced a long time ago. She says messed up shit about how she regrets it because she's poor and pissed the money away. Meanwhile my dad couldn't be happier to get away. Lol it's hard having to live with her too, so I feel your pain anon. Our relationship improved a bit after I went away to college, but I still avoid spending the night at her house because she stresses me out. I wish I could have a normal mother-daughter relationship but I don't think she'll ever change since she's bipolar and doesn't want therapy.

No. 395440

File: 1554499171192.jpg (54.88 KB, 480x855, df66150f2bd7a6829aced0a1b99e25…)

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to join the military. I had put it off because I had no transportation to see a recruiter when younger. As time passed, I was eventually diagnosed with depression due to a hospitalization from suicidal thoughts. I waited until a year had passed since my last refill on my depression medication and finally got the courage to talk to a recruiter today. Unfortunately, there's no waiver for suicidal thoughts. It hurts to know I'll have to struggle with a minimum wage job for a while in order to scrounge up the funds to go to college (finished community), but it is what it is. I'm proud of myself for having made it this far: not needing a therapist, scrounging the money to go to the gym, started eating properly (recovered from ana, and am in the process of recovering from bulimia), and only have short depressive episodes every once and a while I know how to manage now. When suicidal thoughts happen, I'm able to bounce back; and I haven't had a panic attack since my hospital visit. I've come so far, it's just a shame I have no one to tell it to. I lost a loved one this year, lost my closest friend, and have been alone for so long. I'm crying as I type this, and I haven't had a cry in years. I experience few emotions, but today I'm healing. It's a shame I can't follow my childhood dream, but at least a burden has been lifted in knowing I have one less option and can focus on something else.

No. 395448

I've become a ticket magnet for the cops lately and it's pissing me off. Fuck police. Seriously. They're more concerned about their quotas than actually fucking helping anyone.

No. 395449

Why the fuck would you want to join the military

No. 395451

ur childhood dream is to…. join the military?

No. 395452

I wanted to join to "prove" myself. The military can be physically and mentally demanding. Almost all of the men in my family were in the service. My great-grandfather on my mom's side served in WW2. My mother's dad and her older brothers served too. My 1st, 2nd, and 3rd great grandfathers on on my dad's side were all army colonels. My dad was in the navy, as was his dad.

Almost every woman in my family is a housewife and has no formal education. I was the first to go to college. The women in my family get walked on and abused by the men, both physically and mentally. I watched my mother get slammed into a wall, not allowed to leave the house. My grandma had cigarettes burned into her hand by her husband.

My father told me when I was a child women were "only good for cleaning and fucking," he gave me bizarre punishments related to female gender roles. My great uncle (also army) told me I'd never make it as a woman welder, and that me doing my job was insulting (he was a welder).

I just wanted to be stronger than all of them.

No. 395455

Letting them dictate your life choices is not being stronger than them, it's giving them way too much influence. Do you have any guarantee they'd respect you if you were in the military? Like, do they talk positively of women they've served with etc? Because personally, I've never seen men think positively of it. They just think they're a liability, not strong enough, getting through by special treatment and sleeping around, regardless of whether those things are true or not. Men will look down on us no matter what we do so it isn't constructive to spend our lives trying to spite them or prove them wrong, though I don't blame you for wanting to.

No. 395461

With that much determination, you should go to med school or something.

No. 395463

My partner and I just fought because I asked to hang out with my friend for another day. I stayed at hers and came home, still spent time with him, cleaned the house and he still cracked the shits. She wanted me to go out THAT night but I thought I'd be pushing my luck so I stayed home with him and asked if I coukd hang the next night and he made me feel fucking terrible.
It's bullshit because when I do stay home he plays games on the pc. I had come home early the day before because I was worriedI was away too long and gave me a spiel about how it's okay and I don't need to do that, I should do what I want and have fun and then cracks the shits.

I try so hard to walk on egg shells. Anyway we fought and it got heated, he ended up calling me a cunt, which he apologised profusely for and now said he wants me to go out and have fun and he's truly regretful, he'll even drive me to my friend's place ect…but the fight made me so exhausted I don't even wanna go.
He never normally insults me and I believe he's a good person, but I also am trying to be subjective and am wondering how much is too much time spent at a girlfriend's place and I just don't know anymore.
We've been together 6 years. I am starting to make a lot of new female friends and am really enjoying it.

I even said to him I will cancel plans if he'd rather hang out or had plans, just ASK me but instead it ends in an exhausting fight like this and now he's admitted he's wrong and what he said was controlling BUT it's like dude I don't even wanna go out now, you've ruined it!

We don't have kids, we have pets which I drop in and make sure are fed and watered. Am I being a neglectful girlfriend?
How long out with friends is too long?

No. 395465

And to clarify making sure they are fed and watered sounds so basic but it's a lot more than that, I will play with the dog and stay home for quite a long time.
My friend thinks he's being a dick, but she is also bias and doesn't like to see me hurt and hates men, plus I tried to explain when I vent to her it's bias as fuck and I'm probably being unreasonable.

No. 395469

Maybe he thinks you're cheating? My ex was the same exact way any time I wanted to sleep over at a friend's house or spent the weekend with them, even though all he'd do when I was around was play games.

No. 395472

>I thought I'd be pushing my luck so I stayed home with him and asked if I coukd hang the next night and he made me feel fucking terrible.

Sorry anon, you’re dating an asshole. You should be able to hang out with your friends without your partner sperging out at you.

No. 395486

I know that they still wouldn't respect me if I did it, but it would be my personal accomplishment; mine to hold on to anytime they gaslight or try to harm me. If I was able to military, I'd be stationed and able to get away from them. Since most of my expenses and insurance would be covered; I'd have money saved up from paychecks I never spend to move somewhere and never see them again once out. Military pays for your college too. It really sucks I'm going to have to struggle financially just to barely make it. I was making $300 after taxes a week, and I was paying $7 in gas every day because of how distant my job was. My insurance for my car, at absolute basic is $400 every 6 months. I just had to pay $500 to get lab work done. I can't afford anything, let alone college. I have no idea what to do, I don't qualify for any government assistance. I'm so fucked.

Unfortunately, I don't have the time nor the money. Med school is 4+ years of university, not counting apprenticeship, before you'll even be considered for a decent paying job. I need to be able to reasonably take care of myself before then.

No. 395489

>I try so hard to walk on egg shells
This statement is very telling and specific. It sounds like you're a codependent dealing with a narcissist. You are constantly making compromises that your partner is taking for granted and not only failing to return equal compromise, but also degrading you for not doing enough. If you go with your friend, you are punished, if you chose to stay with him, you are also punished. This lose-lose scenario is a way for him to feel some sort of comfort from his anxiety; he wants to be in control of you. Picking fights with you and "cracking shits" aka negging you (negative talk to manipulate how you feel to draw you closer; see stockholm syndrome) is a way for him to boost his frail ego. Narcs get a high from your reaction. The only proper way to respond if you are in a game that's rigged to lose, is to not play. It will only get worse, and the apologies are only meant to draw you closer so he can break you again. It's cat-and-mouse for him. It may not be intentional, but he has issues only a professional can help him deal with. I have a feeling if you tell him this, he'd snap at you an accuse you of being the one with the problem, a cunt, etc… My father was a control freak who would never let me or my mother see our friends. He'd apologize, only to continue his behavior a few days later. Get out while you can.

No. 395494

My eyelids are so fucking heavy. I get 3-4 hours of real sleep every night for the past 12+ years and I have no idea how to look awake anymore. I wanna kill the next retard who says I look tired.

No. 395503

File: 1554513927225.png (64.53 KB, 187x211, tumblr_inline_pn3aw0jJFy1vxbmr…)

im so ugly i dont even feel female
i cant even go out in public without feeling ashamed and embarassed

No. 395516

Yeah my mom refuses to work and has a pretty narcissistic personality and I know for a fact that if she got divorced she'd also blow through the money like it was nothing then blame everyone else for her mistakes when she can't afford anything. I try to be positive and think if she ever dated again she'd be happier like I said in my OP but that's assuming she wants to date or can even find someone who's willing to date her. She just spends her time reading or hopped up on ambien and sometimes painkillers when she manages to get a prescription for it. She likes to say how she's gonna rotate between all her kids to take care of her when she gets older and in my head I'm like… ok your other kids can do that but no way in hell I am. Why would I wanna take care of someone who barely did the same to me growing up?

No. 395560

it's not even just that i don't want to watch gross rape porn with my fantasy, but i cannot even begin to find GoT interesting

it's just not interesting at all and it has gone on sooo long and i'm sooo tired of hearing about it. when will it end? why are people still talking about it?

No. 395576

can you describe why you think your ugly

No. 395582

Momokun has always been my favourite and I've been involved since the very first thread, but that milk has run dry ages ago and the cow must be put down. All the cosplayers and franchise geeks evacuated ages ago and now it's just undercover costhots and PULLfags blogposting and nitpicking.

Her plentiful, creamy milk before:
>Bragging about her money, constant pathological lying, desperately trying to fake being in school, stealing designs and being smug about it, driving people out for not having sex with her, getting lipo and lying about it, absolutely horrific attempts at cosplay etc.
Her fermented dry ass "milk" now:
>omfg this stupid bitch typoed a word and wears slightly obnoxious clothing, what a fat cunt do you think she prostitutes herself while in Tokyo to get a spousal visa???? here's my fanfiction

Sometimes you just gotta let go of the sow and maybe come back if it's fertile again.

No. 395597

File: 1554549179870.png (62.15 KB, 635x717, IMG_0411.PNG)

I'm so done with the mukbang and asmr community. I don't really watch it, especially since I hate eating sounds but occasionally I do see those videos being recommended to me, and I notice their thumbnails get more and more provocative and repulsive with each time.
Some people literally do anything for money and attention. I now see people eating raw liver and all kinds of insects and shit and I don't wanna see that when I go on yt ffs.
I recently found out that some Korean woman ate a pig's head and she mentioned that it's a favorite among Koreans or something so the Korean viewers were pissed cause it must've looked barbaric af. She deleted the video so I only saw the thumbnail somewhere I think.
She made an apology video but her live octopus eating videos are still up. And those kind of videos get so many views but i don't know why anyone would wanna see that; it's fucking disgusting.
The only explanation is that it's a fetish thing. Asmr is supposed to be pleasant and all but these attention whores ruin everything and don't know when it's enough.
YouTube seriously needs a feature that enables you to block certain content.

No. 395599

To be fair, Mukbang and ASMR are not the same, even though there are weird people in both communities. ASMR, at least the more tame executions, seems more normal to me than Mukbang. The latter has always been extremely weird and gets worse and worse. Because I have looked at some videos out of curiosity, my Instagram explore feed is full of Mukbang clips and whew… Right now, eating moving octopus indeed seems to be a big trend. I hate it! I know that it usually moves because of the muscle tension, not because it is alive, but it’s just repulsive and with some videos, I am not sure if they don’t just eat a living animal tbh. I also hate how those people usually use 1000 snow filters and have faces with such a strong v-shape that it doesn’t even look human anymore. It is just grotesque.

No. 395606

It'll all be over after May 19th, the last 6 episodes of the series start airing April 14th.

No. 395616

>When a haaffu Japanese-American who has lived in Japan all her/his life calls her/his self "Japanese", or any other ethnicity doing the same
No you're not fucking Japanese, you're fucking American. I live in an obscure country and I don't consider my mixed relatives that were born, raised and living abroad as part of my nationality. You literally have no other connection than the other parent to the country you're claiming to represent. You don't live there, you barely speak the language, you don't know how the subtle works of the society or the daily politics. This is a huge pet peeve of mine and it happens all the time with Americans.

No. 395617

File: 1554558383961.jpeg (13.35 KB, 400x400, 24D35B12-C1E5-4A73-A3CD-D92AB6…)

This isn’t even really venting but doesn’t fit anywhere.

I just had sex with my husband and randomly kinda flashed back to my rape last September and it’s strange because after the rape I just felt so weird and numb and disconnected from it like it didn’t even happen to me and I didn’t really care about it, and just continued my life like usual, but then yeah, suddenly here I am crying pretty hard remembering it because the position was one the rapist did to me (even though I have done that position since and been fine) and just felt this weird rush of raw emotion and depression. So yeah, that’s it.

No. 395626

this is so much more serious than a vent, but there's no one for me to talk to right now and i feel like i'm about to have a panic attack just sitting on this.

i just found out my ex (who's almost 30) is dating a girl who's barely 17. i don't know what to do with this info, but i feel sick. i know better than anyone how manipulative he is and i can only imagine how badly he's messing with this poor girl's mind. her UNDERDEVELOPED MIND. no teenager deserves to be preyed on by any man, but i know just how horrible this particular man is and the things he must be doing to her just because it's in his nature and he can. i endured endless emotional abuse and gaslighting throughout our relationship for no reason; i barely came out of it with my mind intact and i was older than this girl (though still younger than my ex - i guess he has a type).

i genuinely don't know what to do. i have no way of contacting her and trying to help, and i'm sure she'd just see me as 'the crazy ex' trying to intervene anyhow since that's how i've been portrayed. i don't know if her family knows or if they even care, and again i have no way of contacting them to warn them about the man preying on their daughter. this relationship is illegal here and i could definitely contact the police about it, but i don't know much about her and i wouldn't be able to provide them with many specific details. i also worry that the police might not take my report seriously given my history with him (also factoring in that he's wealthy and 'respectable' in the eyes of any outside observer and men get so many passes for this kind of sick stuff). this isn't a scenario where i'm bitter and want to get back at my ex or something, which is probably how it would read to a lot of people. it's not even personal - i just see a very young girl who's being preyed on by a very sick, much older man and want to spare her the pain i know she's going to endure.

this is so, so disgusting and wrong. my heart is breaking for this girl and i have no idea what to do.

No. 395652

I am sorry to hear about that. I think I know what you are describing, I have felt this way before, too. As you said you've compartmentalized what happened to you, perhaps it is actually a positive thing for your body to process this. Especially since it's with your husband in a situation you have control over, where as before you did not have any control.
It's a horrible thing to have to relive, but perhaps it is a bit therapeutic actually. I hope your husband comforted you afterwards.

No. 395658

File: 1554567786244.jpg (373.56 KB, 1024x834, 1554498560024.jpg)

At 2:00am last night, I was woken up by my husband screaming and pounding his desk in an Overwatch match. We had gone to bed together and I was very confused as to why he had woken up and decided to go on the computer. He had never done anything like that before in the 5 years I've known him. I called out his name, and that apparently angered him, he screamed back at me and told me to shut up. Now, he can get very angry playing these games, but I was like wtf? And went back to sleep. I was woken up about 5 minutes later by him screaming again. His mouse had died or whatever. We had known the battery had been low for a few days, but I had two batteries in the kitchen drawer so I wasn't in a rush to get them. He started then screaming at me (even though I was presumably asleep) calling me a bitch and how much he hated me. How he had told to get me the batteries and I disrespected him by not getting them. I got up from bed and went to the drawer and got him a battery. I put it down on the desk. He couldn't tell which one was the new battery and got frustrated, screamed at me again, and couldn't get the back off of the mouse so he began picking at it with a pen. The back flew off and he couldn't find it. This sent him into a rage and he started screaming and throwing shit around on his desk.

I was still in bed and at this point I was getting very upset. I screamed "What is wrong with you??", which never makes things better, he started throwing shit at me. I got up to come help him and he just sat down in his chair while I crawled around on the ground looking for this stupid mouse piece. I don't remember what I said but it made him spring up from the chair and grab me. He gripped me firmly and muttered just the craziest shit about hating me and how he was going to kill me, and then more garbage about not being able to find the back of the mouse and how disrespectful I was not getting him his batteries.

He ended up finding the piece on his keyboard and I went back into bed. He got his jeans on and went to go sit in the car.

I didn't text or call him, but then he started messaging me saying "I hate when you make me feel this way" and "I feel sick now"

At about 3:00 he came back upstairs from the garage and apologized to me. I accepted the apology. He also apologized this morning but I am still in an absolutely rotten mood from last night.

I know my situation is fucked. Just screaming into the void.

No. 395663

You know what we're gonna say and what is the right answer: leave him.
Get the kids, get your things and leave him right now. This is a textbook example how domestic abuse starts.

No. 395668

Here anon, this is you in a few weeks: https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/bjepmz/fortnite-streamer-arrested-for-assault-after-allegedly-hitting-his-partner-during-twitch-stream

Seriously, leave him. What he has done is really not okay and shows that he is absolute human garbage. It is cringy and embarrassing, how can you have respect for someone like him? It is also very sad because of the way he treats you.

No. 395672

That's horrible anon, I'm so sorry. Do you have anywhere you can go or a way to get out with minimal danger to yourself? I know that you know you need to leave him and I hope you have a safe way out. You deserve much better than a piece of shit man like that.

No. 395691

i’m just so mad that i can’t singlehandedly do anything about climate change. i don’t eat meat, i recycle everything i possibly can, i resell things or donate instead of throwing them away and i pick up any trash i see outside.

but i know in the end it’s such a small amount it barely does anything. and i know in 50 years everyone is going to look back at us and how we live now and scream “why the fuck didn’t they start being proactive sooner? why did they keep doing all these things they knew were killing the environment? why did everyone push off their personal responsibility?” people are going to think we’re barbarians. granted this happens to literally every time period once it’s far past enough but it genuinely aggravates my depression to think about this so much. to know the whole world is fucking suffering. to know over 5,000 species have gone extinct and all of them had to do with humans being in places they hadn’t been before.

i saw a video of a polar bear in the arctic circle, starved, jaundiced, wild eyed. dragging its leg behind it. looking desperately for some snow and ice and only being surrounded by hundreds of miles of wet grass. couldn’t stop fucking crying for an hour and all i could do was turn off every light in the house and unplug everything i wasn’t using. completely fruitless and i feel helpless.

No. 395694

samefagging to add: on top of this i’m poor and all my money goes to my college tuition, which thankfully is pretty low thanks to it being a trade degree. so i donate where i can but it’s not much. sometimes i wish i could be a millionaire just so i could personally ensure the safety of endangered species and areas and know for a fact they’re protected. fuck.

No. 395701

stop caring so much

No. 395704

no thanks. i’d rather be miserable and keep trying to change things than be yet another apathetic cuck who doesn’t give a fuck that millions of people and animals are going to die as an after effect of my shitty treatment of the earth.

No. 395705

Not gonna sugarcoat it anon, you sound psychotic. Get some help.

No. 395707

>dying earth makes people sad
>must be psychosis


No. 395709

whats the point of getting depressed about things you have no control over? thats not going to help the environment

No. 395710

You are powerless. Accept it or continue your miserable existence

No. 395711

because even if it’s only a tiny amount of change it still counts, just like how it counts if someone’s only making a small mess. shit adds up
go back to reddit

No. 395713

lol dont get aggro because someone said you cant make the impact you want. its the truth.

No. 395715

I mean yes it's sad and humans are catalyzing our own demise but still species have always been going extinct nonstop since forever even before human impact so maybe that gives a little perspective. It's just part of life, adapt or die. Regardless, it's at least a 50/50 chance that humans will go extinct anyway just like any civilization before us. Or we'll evolve so much that biodiversity and hospital planets won't even be relevant lol
Personally, I believe this is just the cycle of the universe. Some even argue that civilizations are inherently self-destructive. So do what you can and chill about what you can't.

No. 395716

I know how you feel. There is a small number of us that try our best. Like there are small volunteer groups where we clean a small patch of land or help animals. Being among such like-minded people helps because you see there are selfless good people out there that are not doing it for attention.
But the amount of people that don't care is overwhelming and it gets tiring answering questions as to why even bother or whatever.

I'll be honest, I'm not doing all the things that I am for other people, it's seeing all the poor animals suffer, it's seeing all the magnificent tries dry and rot with air pollution.
I often cry when I see hurt animals or another construction site that soils a serene and peaceful patch of land. I know of which video you talk about and it's sickening. Unfortunately, most people will go back to their daily business and continue doing harmful things to nature.

No. 395720

Honestly just don't have kids and advocate that other first worlders don't have kids. That does more for the planet than riding a bike everywhere.

No. 395724

Why do so many sites want your damn phone number? I literally can't use instagram anymore because the "challenge" keeps popping up a.k.a give us your phone number. No, fuck you, O'd rather not use your shit site at all then

No. 395725

Just look at statistics for average carbon footprint per citizen and US is off the charts. The gluttony and consumerism in the US is absolutely insane. Visiting as a tourist I am always a little disgusted at the amount of food on display at all times and the sheer size of the cars for no conceivable god damn reason.

No. 395733

>size of the cars
Oh my God don't even fucking get me started on that. This is the petty hill I will die on, I fucking hate big SUVs and trucks that serve literally no fucking purpose.

People insist that they need their gas-guzzling, space wasting SUV when 90% of the time they don't. I'm from the suburbs and the average family would be perfectly fine with only one larger car, I don't understand why every single person needs their own personal fucking yacht to drive around. Like okay, if a soccer mom wants her big car for her children, their sports gear, and her groceries, fine. But why does her husband need a big car just to commute to a fucking office? Why does their teenager need a big car just to drive to school? WHY WASTE SO MUCH MONEY ON GAS WHEN YOU DON'T NEED TO?!

Speaking of teens, it especially pisses me off when parents get their teenager a big SUV for their first car. Why the fuck does a 16-17 year old need a big ass Jeep with shit gas mileage, especially when they're new shitty drivers and don't even know how to maneuver a car that size? A sedan seats five people just like an SUV does, don't give me the "b-but I wanna drive my friends around!" excuse. My first car in high school was a mid to smaller sized sedan and I played a sport that required me to tote around a lot of bulky, large gear and I had no issues with my car.

Sorry for my absolute sperging but this really pisses me off as you can probably tell.

No. 395749

I'm such a fucking loser who has to rely on the validation of men. I have codependency issues and can't do anything for myself. I have no self respect and I want to die. I don't feel "full" unless I am dating someone and whenever I ask for advice on how to fix it everyone just says "Love urself!!!" but I have no fucking idea what that means? How do you even do that? I don't know how

No. 395752

>and whenever I ask for advice on how to fix it everyone just says "Love urself!!!" but I have no fucking idea what that means? How do you even do that? I don't know how

Sorry for taking your words off topic anon, but I have the same problem with those generic phrases of advice… For me it's the phrase "be yourself." It's like the other example you said, "love yourself." They're just too vague to implement directly to specific problems.

No. 395754

I can kind of relate a bit and I hate when people tell me that. When am I going to be ready for dating then? I went almost my entire 20s not dating and it’s maddening to go that long without any intimacy. Even worse is when my sister gives me that generic advice when she found a boyfriend who is rich and tolerated constant emotional abuse from her for years.

No. 395777

My boyfriend left me for a second time saying he had to be free and go figure himself out but also said that he'd probably regret leaving me but he's not ready for something more serious. I got really upset and said some true things but also some personal attacks and he got angry because I said I couldn't be friends with him anymore. I caved a few days later asking for forgiveness and to talk everything through because I don't want to lose his friendship but he just left me on read. I feel so pathetic and I miss him so much and I just want to be stable and okay without him.

No. 395782

>"Love urself!!!" but I have no fucking idea what that means?
If you're hearing that from lolcow, it's not really advice. It's a passive aggressive way of telling you that you have no self esteem or self respect. Those things are built up by building yourself up with hobbies, learning new things, self improvement, etc. If you get bored or lonely by yourself, you don't have enough going on in your life. If you can't feel good about yourself without a man, you haven't achieved enough to develop self worth independent from your looks or love life.

No. 395783

Man, I’m actually going through something similar except I’ve pretty much accepted that my ex isn’t coming back. Go no contact for your own sake. I know it’s tempting to but the more you contact him, the more you’ll drive him away and hurt your own recovery.

Also, If this was the second time he was leaving you, he wasnt that great of a partner anyways. If he loved you, he would stay and be there for you. Figuring himself out is just classic bullshit men use to get out of relationships because they think it will hurt their partners less than if they were direct about it.

No. 395787

My boyfriend's sister is gonna give birth in not too long and my boyfriend keeps saying that it's not a big deal, women give birth all the time, she chose it herself etc. whenever I ask if things are going well.

While I don't want kids myself and don't prefer to be around them, I would never be an asshole towards kids for being kids or mock a woman for wanting them, especially someone I care about. I thought my boyfriend was the same way, but I keep getting upset at the way he talks about his sister and her upcoming baby with mockery and how he's not even gonna go visit her at the hospital or even bother showing any interest in the baby until "it can talk like a normal person".

He and his sister are good friends and she seems to be okay with his attitude, but I hate listening to their phone conversations because she will talk about not getting to sleep or being in pain or being worried, and he will only make fun of her in return.

He's a very caring and nice person otherwise, so this hostility he has towards babies is such a big contrast to how he normally is it annoys me a great deal.

First time I noticed it was when we met a friend of mine last year who recently had a baby. I was happily holding and playing with the kid while my boyfriend stood nearby rolling his eyes at me, and afterwards mocked me for being too polite to say no to holding the baby when offered. I remember telling him that I was just happy for my friend and genuinely had fun , to which he scoffed and kept saying how annoying it was to listen to my "baby voice" and "play with the dumb thing".

He keeps bringing up arguments about overpopulation and shit like that as a way of explaining why I shouldn't show support of empathy towards a woman going through pregnancy. And normally I don't give a damn either, but overpopulation isn't gonna stop me from being happy about my friend excitedly showing me her baby, or wanting my boyfriend's sister to be alright.

No. 395790

I don't want kids either but a big reason for that is how difficult and traumatizing pregnancy/childbirth can be, and how exhausting and stressful a young child is without sufficient support. Anti natalism is pretty fair but still, his lack of empathy towards his own sister is disturbing, are they close otherwise?

No. 395792

It's concerning that he is making such a big song and dance about how much he hates babies. I hope you don't intend on having children with him with his policy of ignoring the child until it's a "proper person"

No. 395794

Anti-natalists who hate babies or act disgusted by kids always piss me off. Overpopulation is worrisome but kids are great, idgi. It just comes off as edgy and dumb.

Have you confronted him about his irrational anger at infants lmao?

No. 395797

Tbh I feel similarly as your bf and don't really care about people who choose to get pregnant and think they're pretty awful considering they give no fucks about the fact that their kids are inheriting a dangerous and dying Earth, but coming from a man, the apathy does sound more cold, especially when he says weird stuff like not caring about them until they can speak. That sounds Onision tier. I agree with him though and I don't think it's exciting or anything to be excited about. It's more just sad and depressing. He is right, but men often just don't care about women, so I can't tell if it's just that he's a misogynist or genuinely upset about the overpopulation thing, but I'm kind of leaning toward the misogyny because he sounds almost alt-Onion in spots.

No. 395798

>a dangerous and dying earth
That's somehow safer than ever. America is not the world.

No. 395800

They're talking about climate change…which is global and has nothing to do with safety. Or America.

No. 395801

I would encourage you to do some research instead of getting stressed out about it. It's better to form you're own opinion based on information from multiple sources. Not all scientists agree on what it actually happening. Global warming being caused by green house gases is a theory not a confirmed reality. In the 70s scientists thought there would be another ice age by now. There are many factors that effect climate and while human activity is one of them, climate change can also be caused by natural events like volcano eruptions and sun spots.

I do agree completely that we need to protect the environment but there are much more pressing issues than something that may or may not be happening. Persistent organic pollutant clean up, plastic waste in the ocean and extinction caused by humans are all things you can help prevent by getting involved in local organisations.

No. 395804

this is such a cope holy shit. it depresses me that there are people who still think that scientists being forced to dial down their claims so people don't panic and so massive corporations can continue destroying the planet til the end to line their pockets means "maybe it's not so bad and is totally caused by natural phenomenon like volcanoes!"

No. 395805

This is super random and ridiculous but I just wanted to nerd vent because I'm PMSing and everything is making me mad.

Been playing Skyrim again and as such I find myself wanting to watch some recent interesting/different playthroughs of the game.

I came across MajorSlackAttack. He has some good ideas for his challenge runs but it's so hard for me to enjoy his videos because he sounds and acts like a twat.
I was watching his newest No Crafting, No Purchases, Pure Combat run and in reading the comments I see him replying multiple times to people who tell him "cooking is technically crafting".
His responses under every comment saying that are "WELL YOU DON'T REFER TO COOKING AS CRAFTING IRL SO IT'S NOT CRAFTING HERE REEE, YOU DON'T SAY 'I CRAFTED YOU THIS SOUP REEEEEE". Like, he's so salty over such a minor thing and makes sure to let everyone know that by responding to every.single.comment regarding the topic.

In many of his videos he responds to ~haturz~ with petty sarcasm and generally acts like a huge man baby, which in itself is frustrating because of the fact that he sounds like a 45 year old white man from burgerland who still lives in mom's basement. In fact, I'm 90% certain he either is, or is at least close to being in his 40s.

He also talks to himself as his characters and makes them respond in this sneery, annoying voice that makes me click off the video every time. I tried so hard to get past that stuff for the sake of seeing how these unique challenges play out but god damn, I just cannot do it!

Sorry for the long-winded rant about the stupidest shit ever but damn it feels good to just bitch about shit sometimes hahahaha.

No. 395808

The random eruption of Mt St Helen put more pollution in the air than all of humanity combined. Jfc.

No. 395813

>That's somehow safer than ever. America is not the world.
Kek, wow. How did you manage to misconstrue my post this much? I didn't even say shit about America, and how does a 'dying Earth' = America is unsafe?

No. 395816

cooking is considered a crafting skill in literally every video game. anyone still churning out content in fucking skyrim is a complete loser anyway.

volcanoes do the literal opposite of global warming. they cause cooling.

No. 395818

pollution is but one way the earth is being destroyed. i don't think you understand how the earth is under constant assault and at every angle, and it completely jeopardizes our ability to survive

No. 395821

>The 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens vented approximately 10 million tons of CO2 into the atmosphere in only 9 hours. However, it currently takes humanity only 2.5 hours to put out the same amount.

From https://volcanoes.usgs.gov/vhp/gas_climate.html

So what the fuck are you talking about?

No. 395828

she obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. she desperately wants to believe everything is fine because our lives are so insulated from the damage that's being done, that everyone with concerns is unnecessarily alarmist and that we're all just insane doomsday preppers. to consider anything else throws a wrench in her idea for her life.

No. 395840

Incoming textbook:

I feel the same anxiety about climate issues and it's hard to accept that people just don't care. But if you feel strongly about it the best thing you can do is give soft encouragement to everyone you know and lead as an example of how fulfilling environmental consciousness is. People mainly don't change their ways because they see it as either too much effort, time, or money. So what you can do is to frame eco-friendly choices as satisfying, easy or more cost efficient. Here's some suggestions for things I do:

-Make delicious vegetarian dishes for your friends and family and give them the recipes.
-Gift reusable items like cutlery sets, cloth napkins, shopping and produce bags, reusable k-cups/to-go mugs, water bottles, anything you know they use a lot.
-Set up a spot to hang dry your clothes. It's only takes 5-10min more than loading a tumble dryer and will cut down on energy bills. Offer to hang up your roommate/family's clothes a few times to demonstrate how easy it is. Make sure everyone's using cold water for washing too.
-Style yourself with second hand clothes and if anyone asks, tell them where you got it and even brag a little about the price. Another fun encouragement is to host a Naked Lady Party- everyone brings clothes they don't wear anymore, pile them in the middle of a room and everyone is free to try things on and take what they want.
-If you're creatively inclined, teach people to mend clothes. It can be therapeutic and it's easy to do while watching TV. It can be another stylish bragging point too.

The biggest thing is fuel emissions though and it's a tough one to convince people to kick. I was hoping Pokemon Go would lead to more apps that rewarded walking but unfortunately that hasn't happened. You can still encourage walking and public transport. Find a good podcast and tell people you listen to it on the bus or walking to the store. Maybe even invite your friends to do things via bus/train (obviously only applies if you have somewhat decent public transport). If possible set-up ridesharing for your workplace. You may not benefit from it yourself, but maybe other coworkers live close enough for it to work out.

But I have to stress, you kind of have to baby people and play the long game. Don't come off too strong too soon or retards will try to ridicule and discourage you. Anticipate arguments and know how to rebut, but be lighthearted in your responses. People who don't want to change are likely just making excuses to shut you up. And hopefully when you start seeing small changes around you, you'll feel less anxious about the future.

No. 395852

File: 1554599084726.jpg (27.64 KB, 375x500, 41mdp YLGRL.jpg)

These cookies at the CVS near my house had become my favorite snack, they were only $1.29 or so and very tasty! Now they are going out of stock and were on markdown for 37c but there was only 2 boxes left of the chocolate flavor and 7 of the vanilla so I bought both chocolates and 4 vanillas. I tried to look online for them, but the going rate is like $6 a box minimum! I am pretty sad that I won't be able to regularly eat these cookies any more.

No. 395873

I try to do this with my boyfriend because we live together but he just won't budge.
>tried asking him if we could switch to eco powder detergent in a cardboard box instead of ariel pods
>"No I like these they're really convenient"
>Please? It's way cheaper, lasts longer and is more eco friendly
>"I know but I still like pods better because I'm a simple bachelor and not a hippie haha"
>ask him to try wooden toothbrushes
>"no they're shit I want my plastic one"
>Let's try getting biodegradable bags for our vegetables at the store
>"I'll just get a plastic one instead"
He thinks it's hilarious and wont stop asking me if I know that it doesn't make a difference. He also baby talks me and goes "awww she wants to save the pwanet!" as a joke while pinching my cheeks whenever I suggest something that doesn't involve plastic which just pisses me off more.

No. 395875

why would you be in a relationship with someone who holds such a strong stance against something you seriously believe in? of course youre going to be miserable

No. 395879

He sounds like a moron, and also why is he referring to himself as a bachelor when he lives with you….

No. 395880

Because he's otherwise a good guy, where I live all men think exactly like this if not worse (and if not they're incredibly militant with their tree hugging and PETA-tier veganism), and I happen to be lonely without dick in my life.

No. 395881

In our language it just means an unmarried man, not necessarily someone who lives alone or is single. Usually it's used for guys who struggle with chores and know few basic life skills.

No. 395882

I totally agree with this anon. When attempting social change like this I think it's important to 'kill em' with kindness'. It is incredibly frustrating having people write you off and make fun of you but fighting fire with fire leads to more resistant from the people you're trying to change. Honestly reworking a throwaway consumerist culture is something that needs to be done from the ground up because large corporations will not change their ways as long as it makes them a profit.

Personally I agree with the fact that individual changes have a very negligible impact on the environment itself but it's an important step to initiate cultural change which can lead to government regulations that hold the main causes of this accountable.

No. 395925

i am addicted to buying stupid fucking game bundles. i do a lot of giveaways on steamgifts but that really doesnt justify spending like i do one vidya. i love getting a good deal on games but im also a stupid sucker. indiegala happy hour has roped me in a few times as well as fanatical and their dumb mystery bundles.

whatever money i like to convince myself i have saved, i spend on another site and its just a never ending cycle of game backlog and giveaways.

No. 395942

File: 1554618353000.gif (743.47 KB, 498x320, lonely.gif)

My friends are still friends with my ex, and now his new gf. He really treated me so badly, he joked about cheating on me, would say vague things just to make me worry, would lie to me about dumb things etc. It's really messing with my trust. I can't tell them that he nearly took advantage of me when he was drunk (I was young and wasn't at all ready for it), I'm not going to mention that because I have no way to prove it. I just feel so alone. I wouldn't find this such a big deal if he hadn't claimed to want me out of his life, but he keeps my friends? It's so wrong.

No. 395952

File: 1554618989234.gif (1002.27 KB, 400x400, proxy.duckduckgo-1.gif)

I had an awful night tonight. I was talking to my boyfriend and he told me about a comment his mom made to him that insulted him and I at the same time. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it so personally but basically he was complaining about an obese woman being annoying at his work and his mom said "what're you going to do, date her?" This stung because I used to be formerly obese and have since lost 20 lbs. I can't believe how much this comment hurt me, considering how tbh I've never been a huge fan of his mom. I just took a bunch of laxatives, which I know is a (no pun intended) shitty thing to do to yourself but it's a bad habit I got into when I was first losing weight. God I feel so fucked up for doing that. Anyway yeah I just fucking hate how futile it feels when you've put in the work to turn your life around by losing a massive amount of weight and people still try to use how you formerly were against you. Sorry for being so depressing.

No. 395958

I would be concerned by the idea that your friends didn't reach out. They either don't know or they're choosing not to know. Distance yourself and find other friends to focus on to recover. If they really are friends worth having, they'll make an effort to listen.

No. 395963

I'd say your bf's mom just can't resist an opportunity to be toxic and belittle you and your partner's choice. This is unfortunately very common when parents don't like their kid's SO for any reason. Don't worry about it, some people might be mean no matter what you do. Other people see how you look NOW.

No. 395964

they choose not to know, more so acknowledge because I have told them. I have no other friends, my only friend is my boyfriend. They're good people… but too good yknow? they don't want to start drama but I'm here suffering. thanks for your advice anon

No. 395977

Ugh I wanted to make a side instagram account for a hobby of mine and it was instantly disabled after registering. The name wasn't inappropriate at all and I have no idea why I would be banned, I can access my personal instagram account just fine so I don't think it's an IP ban.

Now they want me to send a picture of my face holding up a sign with my name and username and a code to prove my identity so I can get the account unlocked like wtf man I don't wanna deal with this just give me the damn account

No. 395982

I know it probably sounds like mom advice lol, but I think your bf's mom sounds jealous. You've lost 20lbs and are at a healthier weight, that's a huge achievement and you should be proud of yourself. Don't listen to anyone else because you'll always have a critic. The best thing you can do is have a happy, long relationship with your bf and maintain your healthy weight. That will annoy her even more!

No. 395989

People are so fucking dumb about incest ships. I just saw a friend who's now suddenly trying to decry incest ships only because it's the trend of the week due to the Snotgirl artist approving of some fanart, but this said friend had zero issue with people who've shipped canonical twins, and even shared fanart and ENCOURAGED people to keep drawing and making fics about the pair. Like not even a few weeks ago she encouraged this.
Like okay, pick and choose your battles, but this is not it. I also don't think said friend ever had an issue with Cardcaptor Sakura depicting a canon incestuous relationship with Tomoyo having a crush on Sakura, her cousin.
Why are people such retards? Why do people change their stances just like that to appeal to people who don't actually care?

No. 395998

what a douchebag his mom is. fuck that shit. don't listen to it. she's garbage. that's what sucks about relationships, man. so many people have such terrible, mean families

No. 396001

File: 1554640223357.jpeg (151.99 KB, 750x1102, 8C16D5F1-73A6-42C7-8E06-B9AA78…)

I'd like to blame autism/add/neglectful upbringing but I'm just not a person that makes friends. I have nobody anymore except my mother. My siblings are autistic and very hard to bond with (but I love them), my father does not like me or care about me at all, and I'm genuinely ugly as well.

I'm not very lonely (I like to think), but how will I fare in life being this unlikable? I've grown out of suicidal ideation but seeing how I was never good in school… What future do I really have? I used to think I had friends but all of them abandoned me and the one I have left routinely ignores me and has attempted to use me for sex before.

No. 396012

You should check out Gopher if you don't already know him. His skyrim and other kind of playthroughs are tons of fun to watch.

No. 396023

I'm getting really tired of my boyfriends gaslighting idk if he even knows he's doing it or just being as spiteful as possible when he's called out. He is genuinely a bit slower and is also a possibly an alcoholic in denial which would explain some of his behavioirs but I specifically want to get this vent off my chest so I get over it lol.

I had an abusive ma growing up, I don't want this to define me but I did share this info with my bf because it indirectly came up and you know sharing and deepening bonds and all that. I still try to maintain a slightly normal rship with my ma because I think it's important (as my life continues idk if it even is anymore but I can't be bothered exploring they right now). I see her once every few months so it's not really an exertion and it seems good enough for both me and my mum. We don't even hang out that long when we do meet it's literally like a meeting to confirm we're OK, no ones close to death (past 4 years we've literally buried 7 family members, so my family currently feels a bit morbid but also we're all pragmatically trying to get our shit together cuz life is short idk). My bf has had Christmas with my mums and was witness to an absolute shit show. He has had experience.

Anyway so my vent is if I have an issue with my bf and most of my issues with him stem from a communication issue. As I said earlier he seems a bit slow sometimes? So if I infer he could do better he always throws in my face that I don't even communicate with my mum and he always equates any failures we have to me treating him as distantly as I treat my mum.

It's all very annoying because I've confided in him why I have a strange rship with my family. (dad left at 10, my grandparents realised me they're all dead, my uncles have passed away and aunts, I don't exactly have a big family). It's just really hurtful. He also called me bipolar today. I don't understand how it's bipolar when I'm constantly feeling disappointed about him there's no extremes, our rship has really been flatlining recently. I've been dealing with a lot, I think he's aware of it because I talk about it but I get no support from him. Like literally every issue he brings it back to my family. I can't help it I wasn't a spoilt wee cunt like him jfc

No. 396025

He’s never going to change anon, he could be as dumb as a rock and that still wouldn’t excuse his behaviour. He’ll forever blame any slight issue that comes up on you and your past trauma - bonus points if he simultaneously accuses you of overreacting to your past abuse and even implies it wasn’t actually abuse.

You deserve to be with someone that’s empathetic, and I’m sorry but that’s clearly not your current boyfriend. It might be time to tell him to go fuck himself and move on tbh

No. 396030

Yeah nah, definitely time to cut your losses. I hope you rip him a new one.

No. 396031

Dump him and look up the definition of inferred.

No. 396036


Shit I didn't realize I made a typo, I meant 80 lbs. but thank you guys >>395963

No. 396042

Classifying your friend's abuse as drama isn't what a too good person does. They choose to ignore your pain for their own benefit. There's better people out there, you can do it anon. Or else your mental health and self worth will suffer.

No. 396044

yeah… you're right. I'm going into uni soon so hopefully I'll make some friends out of that, but yeah, I don't really know how to bring it up to them without sounding like a petty ex

No. 396045

good luck with uni! Put yourself out there and meet people. Your friends aren't evil but they're just not good friends to you. You can try a slow fade maybe.

No. 396048

That's probably the best idea, thank you so much anon.

No. 396062

Anxiety is alright today, I don't feel terrible, but I have this annoying sense of impending doom. I want the sensation to at least settle down a little, let me eat my avocado turkey sandwich in peace!

No. 396064

Holly shit why are models so damn obtuse?

I'm sharing a room with two, one of the starvation kind and another of the gym steroids type, and even if I tried to keep an open mind at first they are just too dumb.
The stereotypes are true after all.

No. 396073

starving in any form lowers cognitive function. your roommates sound like a nightmare. godspeed anon

No. 396083

This reply is extremely late but I’m just now catching up on this thread and this shit made my blood boil like no other. You’re still living at home at 27, being taken care of your mom and your aunt who are nice enough to offer a home to other people in need, and you’re here complaining because you had to share a room with someone for a few months? And now you’re whining because your aunt wants to move somewhere else, but it’s not good enough for you because of an hour (lol) long commute to work/school, even though she’s presumably letting you move in to her new place and still offering to take care of your grown ass? Fuck off. Your aunt’s not the narc here, it’s you. This is the most entitled shit I’ve ever read since the fatvegfemme thread.

No. 396086

Why do artist SJWs act like they suddenly care about children when something slightly problematic between two consenting adults shows up on their timeline? Calm down with the 400 essay tweet threads and retweets. No one's shoving this shit in children's faces.

No. 396104

I don’t know who keeps teaching parents that the right thing to do if their child asks about a disability/illness/impairment is to go up and ask the person, but Jesus Christ please stop it. Yes I’m sure there are disabled people who are happy to tell a stranger, but why would you assume that all of us are? I do not want to share my medical history with a stranger, them being a child who doesn’t know not to ask extra invasive questions doesn’t change that. We can hear you talking so if we don’t volunteer the information and you see us clearly trying to ignore you and look away, please just find a way to answer the question yourself. If a kid asks I’m going to give an answer and not be a dick - because they’re just children and they’re curious - but it’s annoying when parents encourage it and just assume you’re fine with it and decide to use you as a teaching moment for their children

No. 396111

that anons post feels like tumblr rolled up into one post minus trans, disabled, poc points dangled in there. what an ass lol

No. 396112

I see a lot of "disability positivity" posts that are like "Tell your kids not to just stare, but to come and ask! We are happy to educate you! It's not rude, swear! In fact, just staring is rude. We understand that you're curious, so you might as well ask :)", so they probably think it's okay because of that.
I always thought "Uh….This sounds annoying and nosy, so nope" when I read those, lol.

No. 396118

My father told me yesterday that I was supposed to have an older sister, who would've been older than my brother too, but they lost the baby (idk the details, or if it even was supposed to be a girl or they were just hoping) I'm honestly not sure how to feel about this, because I probably wouldn't exist if she lived (wouldn't mind that lol) but also because I remember my mother telling me how they never wanted a second child, which is me.

It came up randomly yesterday, there wasn't any commentary really and I didn't ask further, but I just don't know how to feel about it.

No. 396121

As a wheelchair user I'm not mad or anything when kids or adults come up and ask about it, but it can get old. Particularly if I'm in a hurry and trying to get somewhere, but now I've gotta navigate a conversation with someone's ten year old without their parents getting offended that I'm brushing them off.

Plus it's usually the same conversation every time and it's new for them maybe, but not for me. There's only so many times you can say, "Yes, my legs don't work. No, I can't feel anything in them. No, I'd rather you didn't thump me on them even though I won't feel it, because I can still bruise."

No. 396122

just try to understand if it took that long for him to come out with that, that may have been something he has struggled with for awhile. it hurts when its a new info but it could have been pretty rough for them to have lost a baby. take your time processing it but your parents are human too.

No. 396124

I've been bedbound for weeks. I just want to sleep for the rest of my life, goodbye civilization.

No. 396125

File: 1554670508203.jpg (52.89 KB, 1280x720, big_1476493715_image.jpg)

I really hate being new at my job
I feel like a retard and Im working with younger people who are both more charismatic and more knowledgeable about the job. I just want to cringe into the wall when I make mistake after mistake. I pay attention, I take notes, but it just feels like it's something I can't do.

No. 396126

i rarely drink due to muh family trauma but id id now and it feels so relaxing and i hate that i can't let myself be in state more often, i don't even need to consume a lot. wack.

No. 396128

I'm about to do my third annual water fasting in the next two weeks and went to check the sub reddit posts but I'm cringing with now 80% of the posts are before and after photos, with some trannies too because why the fuck not, and no visible talk about actual health stuff and autophagy.
Fucking obese people and dieting normies ruining everything.

No. 396139

Kind of how I felt at my old job anon. There were supervisors more qualified than me and like 3-5 years younger when I got there.

And when I tried to work my way up to supervisor, which I was actually promised for my hard work, my current department head was replaced by a sexist nutbag who ended up refusing to promote me and another girl closer to my age because we were women- instead promoting two seventeen year old boys who'd been there less than a year. Jesus christ.

In that case they definitely weren't qualified, before I quit I witnessed those two kids desperately try and fumble around the supervisory position and fail miserably at it. The least I could say of the supervisors who were younger than me beforehand, who'd quit to find better jobs, was that they'd actually worked their way up after being there for nearly 1.5-2 years, instead of being given their position for 0 reason.

No. 396142

what the fuck is water fasting, is that some anachan bs

No. 396146

not samefag but former anachan here, pretty sure it means either drinking water to mimic fullness so that you eat less, or eating low calorie high water content foods to supplement higher calorie, more substantial foods (like celery or lettuce instead of bread products? idfk)

No. 396147

I follow this girl on Tumblr who obviously uses the fasting periods in her religion as a way to supplement her eating disorder. She jokes about it and seems like a cool person, but it just makes me sad, as someone with an ED.

No. 396149

I don't do it to lose weight, it's to get the body to clean itself, avoid old age brain problems and fix some digestive issues. Lot's of cultures practice it in some form once every year/season.
People that do it for weight loss miss the point and just gain the weight back anyway.

No. 396156

If you're really gonna water fast, please treat yourself and use bottled water/spring water only. having an empty stomach with only chlorinated tap swimming around in there will probably not make you feel particularly good. i did it before with tap and felt 0% better, bottled all the way

No. 396163

wanted to talk to my best friend about mental health issues, ive been having them for a long time and they stressed them out. been trying my hardest to keep it together, messaged them wanting to clarify a few things and ask how i was doing, just wanted some approval to keep going like this. they ended up being annoyed and told me they dont know what to say and they ve told me a million times and now theyre not replying anymore. i want to kill myself.

No. 396164

Yeah, I never drink tap water only filtered as I have a activated charcoal filter system.
Adding some electrolytes in too to keep hydrated.

No. 396166

if your body cant clean itself out naturally, you might have an issue with your organs.

the detox trend is bs.

No. 396177

if her body couldn't detox itself she'd be dead already. fasting really fries your brain huh

No. 396183

this is pseudoscience, and why do other cultures matter? also
>saying "dieting normies" and not feeling any shame or irony

there is nothing super special about your super cool unique anachan water only "detox diet".

No. 396192

>me expecting anons not to judge anything they can
Ok, I know it was my fault but at least google autophagy and fasting you bunch of lazy anons:

No. 396202

Update: he told me were not best friends anymore . i dont know what to do.

No. 396203

If it was a thing 200 years ago in India or China, people just blindly believe it’s medicinal. Mystical exotic foreigners are all wise healers, didn’t you know.

No. 396204

neat. but research on autophagy in humans in sparse and only really proves that its helpful in people who have diseases of excess growth; cancer, obesity type 2 beetus, fatty liver disease, stuff like that.

the discovery and naming of autophagy isnt some catch all win for anachans to prove that their starvation diets are for the better. humans are designed to be able to live for extended periods of time without food but at the risk of breaking down organs and whatnot. a day of not eating and our body will break down amino acids and protein. just because you go into something thinking youre going to eliminate 'built up toxins' doesnt mean that will happen. thats why you have organs. and if they arent functioning well, you need to see a doctor for some testing.

again, autophagy information in humans shows that it helps with people with diseases. as far as cleaning the body out of its junk, we are designed to do that already.

No. 396211

give him space? maybe he's just having a bad day and doesn't want to deal with your issues on top of it. leave him alone, he might come around. don't needily pester him about it.

No. 396217

Friends aren’t free therapists

No. 396227

I learned this the hard way. You need to find an actual therapist. Healthy friendships do involve emotional support but it sounds like your issues are way too much for one person to handle. Give him space and seek professional help. You need to consider his feelings too.

No. 396232

My face and forearms are covered in sunburn from working outside today. I was used to the seasonal job I do being about four hours long, but today it dragged out with two extra hours and there weren’t enough people working to be able to take a break.

No. 396261

i know i do. i’m working on it. i’ve been trying to improve myself very hard and to not stress him out too much but it wasn’t enough. he said that the way i acted caused permanent damage. he still wants to be friends, just not like that. i know it’s my own fault but it just kills me to think that even if i do everything right there’s no way back. this person is so important to me. i know i have to cope but right now i just feel like i’m in a nightmare

No. 396283

I’m so pissed and stressed. I’m supposed to be working part time, like 12-16 days a month preferably. This month I’m working like 5 days a week, like 22 days this month or something like that. And on every weekend overtime, and FINALLY it’s my day off today and of COURSE one of my coworkers is whining about not feeling good and wants somebody to take his shift and none of the other people off today reply, and my supervisor messages me asking me if I can come in. I swear to got this ALWAYS happens on my FEW days off. It never happens the days I work, then suddenly I get a day off after working 5-6 days in a row and somebody needs their shift taken. Then I always feel guilty and like an asshole if I don’t take the shift and I can’t even enjoy my day off. It seems like nobody else will stay overtime or work on their day off it ends up being me 90% of the time, I’m like their only hope, so I feel bad if I turn them down.

I just wanna cry. I go to work when I’m feeling crappy, having horrible menstruation, these assholes call in ALL THE TIME. We literally get to pick days we absolutely cant work before the schedule is made and every time these people are always suddenly like “teehee I forgot I have a thing scheduled on the 18th, I can’t come in, somebody work for me” They’re late half the time, don’t even do their job well. Ugh.

Literally every week for the past 4 weeks I’ve been asked to work a day I wasn’t supposed to work or to work late and I’m just tired of it. Half my coworkers work like 2 days a week and they won’t pick up shifts but I work 5 days and am expected to pick up these shifts? And we have parties we get paid to attend sometimes and they’re so much more fun than usual work of course, and I rarely even get invited to them, it’s always the shitty workers, and they complain about it. Like ugh poor you you got to go eat and drink and picnic and get paid for it poor babies. One of my coworkers is crap at serving the food and drinks to the customers all their waters will be empty and dishes need to be bussed and she doesn’t notice (actually like almost all my coworkers are shit at this), and just like blabs all the time, complains, but she’s somewhat training as a supervisor assistant because she sucks up to every manager we get and becomes their BFF and hangs out with them after work and stuff.

No. 396285

Just say no. If everyone else is so unreliable, it clearly wont put your job at risk, and feeling obligated to your company is a waste of time. Your company doesnt give a shit about you and you shouldnt give a shit about them beyond your normal obligations.

No. 396286

Sorry that you're going through that anon. At the very least, he has expressed that he still wants to stay friends. My own experience left with my friend leaving me for good. All I can say to you is to try to stay strong. It's the best thing you can do right now for yourself and for him. Right now, you should be focusing on yourself and giving him the time and space he needs to recover from this. You have to see this as a wake-up call for yourself if it's affecting others that badly.

No. 396318

i guess im also glad hes not leaving for good, but this almost hurts as much. hes such a precious friend to me and to think that im at fault for him not wanting me close anymore, i just cant forgive myself. i know i need to focus on myself but i have no motivation. i wanted to get better because i thought i could make things right. i just feel empty

No. 396357

I meal prepped for a week and a half of brunches for me and my bf and today, 3 days in, I go to grab one to find that all the food I made is gone. My bf ate all of it. I give up I’m just going to hide in bed all day.

No. 396366

eat your boyfriend then

No. 396373

Sometimes I think about reaching out to my ex to get myself closure which is probably one of the stupidest things I could ever consider. It was over 4 years ago that we dated, and I'm fully aware of how fucking idiotic this is but I still keep finding myself getting caught up in the stuff he did. He didn't know what no meant, constantly groped me despite me telling him to stop and pushing his hands away, at one point he thought it would be funny to "jokingly" corner me in his room and start yelling and told his brother it wasn't serious when he came in looking concerned as fuck because he heard him yelling, and other things I don't wanna talk about and just overall made me feel like shit and left me a mess for months after he broke up with me. But I hate living with that, I don't want him to apologize because I know he won't, I don't wanna start talking to him again, he actually has a girlfriend he's been dating for a pretty long time and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been concerned for her since I found out they were together. I just feel extremely retarded for even caring about something that happened so long ago and I'm so done with living with it. But at the same time there was one point before we started dating that I treated him like shit too (mostly just kind of having an attitude/being a bitch and ignoring him). I spent the entire relationship apologizing to him for acting that way to him and spent a really long time feeling like I deserved all of this and honestly I still kinda feel like I did, even if it was nowhere near the same amount of shittiness he treated me with.

I have no issue reaching out to people and trying to clear things up, I've been doing it for years and really have no issue apologizing for my own shitty behavior but I'm scared if I do end up doing this, that he'll just see it as me taking the blame for what he did. I've worked through so much stuff in these 4 years and am in such a better place than I was back then but this still fucks with me and I hate it.

No. 396388

I've been cheated on before and I have intense anxiety in the first place so this is really stupid but I need to get it out so I don't end up coming off like a paranoid shithead to my boyfriend. I have a very popular normie boyfriend I guess to put it and he's called so often by other people. Sometimes his guy friends but like he recently made friends with a manager at the fast food place he always goes to and she just randomly called him to vent. I've never seen my guy friends have friends who were girls just call them like that unless they were in a relationship and I've never done that with a guy but again my close friends are all girl so maybe I can't see from that other platonic perspective. He never hides it from me but I guess I can't trust anything. I feel stupid even writing this but it seems like cheating is the normal thing in relationships now and I feel stupid for even getting official with another guy after being fucked over so many times.

No. 396391

I think these feelings are really normal, especially when you made mistakes as well. Even with your mistakes you never deserved to be sexually harassed like that.

I don’t know what the fix is other than maybe time, but just wanted you to know that feeling like that is not strange!

No. 396394

File: 1554744977055.png (1.4 MB, 1366x768, 1530634450177.png)

I'm so tired of reading about black vs white american politics. Just read some crap about how white people invented sending thank you letter after job interviews to oppress poc.

Literally never heard anything ever about thank you letters in Europe ever.

I'm just venting, not trying to bait, hope no one takes it personally.

No. 396397

i live in europe and i have gotten those emails..

Also bare in mind affirmative action wouldn't exist if we can trust people to choose candidates based on who is the best and not because of bias.

No. 396402

I'm a huge supporter of a 3rd party anonymity system for hiring that modulates your voice and doesn't show your face etc even during the interview process. Completely censor any point of bias and only let the employer focus on your qualifications and what you're saying.

It's not possible to actually hire people without bias unless you deprive the judge of traits that they can perceive.

No. 396416

File: 1554749457748.jpg (22.27 KB, 345x400, 31035519@400-1554157708.jpg)

Haha, wtf? Even if he's the friendliest guy in the world that's still weird. Switch the roles around and would he be comfortable with some random fast food manager calling you to chat? Why'd he even give her his number in the first place? It's just odd, and no matter how normal you say he is, I can not think of one person I know who'd do that in a serious relationship. It's a god damn fast food manager for christ's sake. It's not like he's going to get career development out of her. What purpose does she serve?

I'd say even if he has the best of intentions, it's still weird. And I stand by that if the roles were reversed it would NOT be acceptable.

No. 396419

Only reason I'm not 100% feeling how you are is because he eats there for lunch for work with his coworkers like everyday and I have a job where I have gotten a couple regulars numbers or have ended up videogame buddies with some because they come so often we end up talking. I'm trying not to be full blown paranoid about it but you have valid points that made me post about it the first place lol. I'm gonna bring it up to him next time I can and bring up the role reversal thing because it is kinda off. I chat with some of my regulars and do game with them but never have gotten to a point to venting to them? That's another level to me and I'm glad I'm not totally crazy for thinking so.

No. 396420

Ok so I don't know what >>396416 is on about but it's not weird to make a friend with the opposite sex wtf. I've made friends and exchanged numbers/social medias etc with the opposite sex and it's been fine. You're overreacting he's allowed to make friends. I get your paranoia but there's nothing going on. He told you to be up front about it if he was lying he wouldn't have mentioned her at all. Maybe she calls him because shes interested in his prospective or she just wants to rant because she works in a fucking fast food joint and those are hell. If the roles were reverse I'm sure he wouldn't care because he trusts you and you should trust him. To keep a relationship going you need trust and communication. If you don't have the backbone to talk to him about your concerns why are you wasting both of your time.

No. 396422

Holy shit I just popped a big ingrown hair on my crotch. I knew it was going to form. It was so gross.

No. 396423

Eh, as you get older you will understand. And you need to understand that men do not see friendships with women in the same way women see friendships with men. I am speaking from experience.

>To keep a relationship going you need trust and communication.
You also need respect. And it is indeed disrespectful to do what he is doing. If it was a colleague, a coworker, it'd be understandable. The fact that she is just calling him up to vent is not right. They're not old buddies, they're not friends that have known each other before you. This is a completely random woman that is using him, yes, in place of a boyfriend to throw up her problems on. And I don't know what man would listen to that unless he had a vested interest in the person.

Sounds like you're both pretty young from the situation you've described. And if you're not, it's absolutely a red flag.

No. 396424

Only a few days ago I was at a party with a bunch of men (not teenagers, ADULT) and they all agreed they couldn't be friend with a girl they're not attracted to, that's how men are wired, ugly women or women who doesn't fit their preferences might as well be invisible.

No. 396428

It is NOT disrespectful to someone what planet are you on. You sound insecure. You don't have to be old friends to vent to someone. They're most likely friends at this point since she said he goes there every day for lunch. I'm sure he's not getting a complete stranger who he talked to one time his number. They are friends. He is allowed to have more than just her as a friend. It is not his fault that she has been cheating on before he didn't do it.

No. 396429

Bitch what the fuck
I have only male friends and have been bluntly friendzoned by the closest ones. If anything I'm the fucker who tends to mainly befriend men I like to look at kek.
Sorry your male friends are shit.

In regards to the issue >>396388 has, I agree to just keep an eye on it and discuss your issues with him as you intend to do. If he's the type to cheat on you because you brought up concerns of cheating then he'd just do it anyway. And if he can't empathize with the fact that you've repeatedly had that experience with men, then why is he helping some bitch at work?
Talking it out is the way to go regardless.

No. 396430

File: 1554751557193.jpg (49.26 KB, 590x550, 1554710612806.jpg)

You'll just have to learn the hard way

No. 396432

Men don't want to be friends with women.

No. 396433

Well I've never been cheated on so I must be doing something right.

No. 396434

Love yourself anon.

No. 396437

I dont think anyone said men cant have friends. Its weird for men to pick up friends at a fast food joint. It literally sounds verbatim like the le cute waitress meme

No. 396447

As a smart bitch I would ask him what's she moaning abouf,make fun of it somehow and if he gets defensive on her behalf he's into her.

Men that are out of school of established in a career/lifestyle are past making female friends anywhere they go. Most adults have it hard making time for already established friends. Him and her phoning each other to vent is odd.

No. 396451

>Men that are out of school of established in a career/lifestyle are past making female friends anywhere they go.


No. 396460

What are you saying that for?

No. 396462

File: 1554753782862.jpg (16.09 KB, 236x236, 5610f30aafb15f43c7c57637986920…)

This is almost incel tier level of logic. Sure men can be shit but not all men see woman as fuck dolls or possible gfs. I'm honestly wary of guys who have no female friends. If they don't then they are the shit type who don't see girls past fuck objects and shit. I would also think an adult man past that point in their lives should be capable to to befriend woman if it just happens to happen and just enjoy company or different perspectives. It's such a double standard. I have girl friends who are well established in their lives and have boyfriends or are even engaged but still make new guy friends once in awhile. It doesn't have to mean anything? To phase out one gender is totally insane to me. It's healthy to have friendships with opposite genders and be capable of doing so without seeing them as relationship options or something.

No. 396465

Oh thank god someone else with common sense.

No. 396468

Dude. There's a difference between having female friends and literally picking up a girl at a fast food joint who is calling you about their personal problems.

No, it's not normal for an adult man in a relationship to befriend a random fast food manager irregardless of how often he "dines in" hahaha

Jesus Christ

No. 396469

It is normal to befriend anyone at any place. Why is it acceptable to befriend coworkers its literally the same thing, those are 'random people' until you become their friend. If I go to a place literally every day I am bound to make friends since I am a regular what don't you understand.

No. 396471

I agree with this
Why is he making random friends with a fast food manager? It's just kind of weird. I'm single and I'd never think to make friends with the managers at my local eateries to the point of listening to them talk about their problems. It's kind of weird that he's so receptive to randos "being friends" with him.

No. 396472

Uhh, not really? I understand being FRIENDLY but "making friends" solely because you pick up food there? OK…

No. 396473

I wouldn't call it picking up since he's a regular. If he approached her, found her pretty, and asked for her number, then yeah but if he's a regular it happens. I work at a coffee place where I see the same people everyday. I've made friends with a lot of the ones who are near my age because the small talk eventually turns into actual talk. I'm close friends with the manager of the movie theater I go to because we ended up talking about relevant interests. It's not too uncommon?

No. 396477

Maybe I'm just weird then, because I don't tend to want to elevate small talk to anything else 95% of the time, I just want to get my stuff and leave. 99% of people that I small talk to are of no interest to me. I mean, you kind of have to want to make friends to do this, imo. I guess some personalities are less likely to do it.

And re: work friends, it's really not the same. It's advantageous and kind of a necessity for you to develop friendships at work, like school, and it can ease tension/office politics. There's no necessity to making friends at a restaurant.

No. 396482

This, lol. Give me my shit and go. You're right about having to want to make friends to do this.

I make small talk with my barista all the time. Would I give him my number? No. He's my barista, not my friend. He's giving me a coffee and we are both sharing a small part of each others day.

No. 396486

Thank you for saying this since the other girls are making it seem like it's literally impossible for a normal person to make friends at a place you frequent.

No. 396490

File: 1554756385914.jpg (30.61 KB, 500x623, 51718643_1049712521879089_5792…)

For children, yes, this is completely normal

No. 396492

>If you make friends with people you talk to frequently, you're a child
Maybe you should consider that people aren't all introverted, or otherwise frigid? Some people are really open to meeting new people and it's really not a big deal to make friends with the workers or a business you are a patron of.

Bf getting really chummy with a new woman may or may not be a red flag, depends on the people involved. If you can't trust him with a platonic friendship then it's best to end the relationship bc at the very least there's no trust on your end. Regardless of whether he's sketch or not.

Personally I've confided in male friends that I don't have romantic or sexual interest in, even ones that aren't that close to me sometimes. Not saying she doesn't have ulterior motives, just saying it could go either way.

If you want to change your lack of trust then having an honest and open convo w him is the right way to go. You two can work out a way to forge a better bond together and see where this new lady fits into that direction. Worst case you can just break up and it's not a huge deal. Life goes on and romantic partners are not a necessity for happiness.

You sound like the kind of person that needs to work some things out in your head before others can be qualified to deal with your shit. No matter how amazing someone is you might find that you're still insecure as fuck and it will only begin and end with you.

No. 396505

>tfw you realize you'll live your whole life depressed and mentally fucked up and won't ever be able to pursue your dreams and that you'll only live a mediocre unfulfilling life and the last thought and feeling before you die will be regret and bitterness

No. 396508

File: 1554759334017.gif (2.69 MB, 400x211, halp.gif)

I need to put this somewhere, so sorry in advance. I've been holding this end for a minute because I don't want to make a big deal about it I really really don't but I'm so fucking disappointed in myself that I haven't been keeping up with my weight loss/healthy lifestyle. I lost 11 pounds and I already know I probably gained that back and then some. I want to go back to the gym but we fucking moved. I'm glad we did since we have a bigger place and its just us two now but fuck was that routine really good for me (home→work-→gym→walk home). I just desperately want it back it was like my.. relaxing time to myself. I was so proud of myself for even keeping up with it too now I just feel like a failure. My bf had surgery so I took a month off to help and fuck did that screw my entire routine up haven't been to a gym since. And because of that month off… we don't have that much money (savings+ all of our tax return went into getting this new place). Literally spent the last of my savings on the car note today. I'm finally getting a paycheck this Thursday so thank fuck for that. My bf doesn't go back to work until the 15th. So we're just going to be living off my check until youknow he finally gets his. My head fucking hurts.
>>Ples no bully but
I just want to go back to my self taught lessons on moonspeak and continue my fanfic that's been on hiatus for a few months now and I want to update my dead youtube channel for all of the 3 people who actually click it. I'm so unbelievably stressed that I honestly feel like crying. I just want a break. Or to just fast forward to a couple of months so by then we should have money and a routine. Fuck I know I had a month off of work but it wasn't exactly a vacation.

No. 396516

what's a normal way to make friends then? /soc/?

talking to a person you frequently see is probably the most normal and old fashioned way of making a friend I can imagine

No. 396530

I went to the hospital today on crutches, had to take a cab because carless anon here.

I felt nervous and sick because, what if trip, what if i go to the wrong place and spend energy and so on. I am in kinda a lot pain so I told the cab dispatcher if the driver could come right in front of my door, because that would be easier for me to wobble into the car.
They told me that should be no problem, why should it be. Well the cab came and the first thing he said to me was how he drove to wrong door first, how dumb it is to drive right to door, how lazy people are these days and am i gonna complain the whole drive. I felt so beyond shit. I already felt bad and sick and then I had to listen to this fucking man take jabs at me the whole drive till he just quited down because I focused on calming the fuck down.

He also just tossed my crutches nearly to the ground when i he dropped me off and listen, I am no pussy ass bitch, but that was so awful. I have no clue what the hell was wrong with him, i made a complaint about him after talking to the driver who took me home. He was very sweet and wondered if he knew him but what the fuck. I wanted to cry at the hospital just out of pure anger, if I was healthy atm I would've told him to fuck off but I was just so tired and in pain. I feel stupid.

No. 396531

Me here again but wanted to add that if i had a car, i would've gotten someone to drive me there ok

No. 396533

Why didn't you call a lyft or uber anon

No. 396534

>>396533 we don't have it where i live

No. 396537

Taxi drivers are bitter old cunts that overcharge and scam passengers and then baww when people prefer Uber or Lyft.
In my city they even blocked streets in protest of Uber, then when they banned Uber they continued to act like total dipshits until some guy created a local alternative to Uber called Car:Go and used legal gymnastics to register it as an association of residents so it can't be banned, now they still complain that it's unfair how they can't scam people anymore.

Anyway long story short taxi drivers are assholes and I'm sorry that happened to you anon. Hope you recover quickly.

No. 396544

a part of me dreams about committing sudoku today

No. 396545

yeah its definitely normal. my boyfriend made friends with a cashier at the liquor store. they bonded over liking similar breweries and it turns out they like other similar things unrelated to beers.

also i've made friends with an employee at Sprint who helped me pick out and set up my phone. we play on PSN sometimes, it's not unusual.

maybe it's because i'm from a rural town, this is how most adults find friends out here.

No. 396546

I have naturally very bizarre and triangular shaped eyebrows, like that dumb dog from animal crossing. For years I've been fed "oh you have to go with your natural shape, it will compliment your face the best" or "you should never pluck the above area of your eyebrows only below it" so I listened and looked weird as a result. I have finally bit the bullet and shaped the tops just a little bit, to literally "take the edge off" and make them less harsh looking and it looks so much better. I am mad that I had dumb triangle eye brows for years for no good reason.

No. 396549

File: 1554765811315.png (389.62 KB, 770x279, gigi.PNG)

yeah what's with that 'never pluck above your eyebrows' rule? why?? i really need to, otherwise it looks fucking stupid because i dont have enough on the top of my brows to really give it much shape anyways, i just have weird hairs like pic related, which is apparently gigi hadid on the runway. is it me or do her brows look terrible? i'm all for au naturale but if you're going to do your brows, this styling is just awful and looks so amateur/messy

these look like greasy fujo anime club eyebrows to me tbh, which is fine, whatever, but if you're going to do your brows anyways, better that it looks less unkempt imo

No. 396550

lol are you talking about cleansifyer or whatever her url is who makes all the edits?

No. 396552

I’m being a bit of a bitch right now. My fiancé and me have had a long weekend together and such. We did a few things today. He’s playing video games and I like to keep busy. I kinda messed up putting a shelf up. It was less then half an inche uneven. So he wanted to fix it and I said that’s fine. I told him, I’d let him hang the other one up when he has the time. He replied, “I told you, I don’t do shit on Monday.” I don’t know why, but it made me so mad. Like I didn’t ask for him to do it today. I just said when he gets to it, so it isn’t all lumpsided. I don’t want to even be talked to by him right now. I know I’m being a baby, but his reply just made me soooooo mad.

No. 396556

i just got dumped by this guy that i loved for the second time. i feel the heartbreak coming back again. i know i was stupid for letting him back in my life again but i missed him so much. and now i have to get over him again. i don't know how. i feel so sad and suicidal. the worst part is that he was all that i had. i just want to disappear.

No. 396557

What was his reasoning

No. 396559

months after we broke up he started messaging me again acting like he wanted to be with me. he told me that maybe we'd be together again. we went on dates and such. but then he slowly stopped talking to me and he said "i cant give you what you want, i thought i wanted to be with you again but i realize we will just separate for the same reasons as last time." so he essentially led me on for another 3 months for no reason, giving me false hope. tbh i'm sure he just found another russian art hoe to be with and got sick of using me as jerk off material.

No. 396562

>>the same reasons as last time
What was the first reason? He sounds like a dick

No. 396566

i broke up with him the first time because he was mean to me, lol. he would always attack my interests, claim i was always wanting male attention, flipped out on me for posting selfies, and claimed that all i wanted was a russian guy. but then literally a week after our breakup he gets with some russian art hoe from instagram. and now he is obsessed with russia/visiting russia. funny how the tables turn. we are just incompatible i guess. but it was hard letting go because i've known him since i was a teen and he wasn't always like this.

No. 396568

Wow, what a shithead

No. 396595

two things: I don't brush my teeth well enouh and the suspense about this one appointment is killing me and my soul is about to leave my mortal body because of it

No. 396601

My postgrad advisor has been making my life hell for two years, he keeps giving vague suggestions and gets mad when I didn't do things exactly the way he wants. Then he has the audacity to tell me woman in science are made to feel inadequate because of 'muh societal pressures'. NO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MADE FEEL WORTHLESS, YOU AND YOU ALONE. AHHHHHH

No. 396602

I hate how there is so much of this shit now.

No. 396603

i feel you anon, just went to an orthodontist yesterday, major work needed. i wish i can just leave this mortal earth too

No. 396608

This shit has killed my desire to try to read any more fanfic. It's everywhere and people won't tag that shit so during a sex scene between two supposedly male characters a wild vagina will suddenly appear! People will turn even canon gay characters in ftm troons. jfc.

No. 396609

Nah he's being a baby. Adults shouldn't react that way to reasonable requests.

No. 396611

I hate my college so much. Sometimes I wish that I had never gone here aside from the fact that I met my boyfriend here because had I not gone here, I would have never met him. We've been together for over two years. But this school has stunted me academically, financially, and has been so stressful to the point that it hasn't been worth it. I've tried to transfer but this school is shit and doesn't have really any credits that would transfer to a public institution as equivalent credits. So I got stuck here despite wanting to leave, and yes it helped my relationship but I feel like I fucked my entire life by going here. I can't find an internship here or in my hometown because 1) I don't have transportation here and 2) back home, employers have never heard of my school. I have literally ruined my life.

I feel awful saying it but at my lowest lows (like now) I think that if I could go back I think I'd just stay in-state instead of trying to go to this college.

No. 396625

anon you gotta stop letting trash ass worthless people make you feel bad about yourself. always consider the source. is it worth letting this scumbag dictate how you feel? really and truly? obviously get your hurt out while it’s raw but don’t let this drag you down for too long. he’s seriously not worth your anguish and neither is anyone else who treats you with that much disrespect. it is so much better to be alone and learn to be secure in yourself than it is to be with a piece of shit who only teaches you to be miserable.

No. 396627

I hate how hard it is to find truly submissive men. not just submissive with regard to sex, just men that are meek and want a woman that 'wears the pants' in every sense.

like, you'll often find women get turned on by men being forceful and dominant in situations that aren't sexual, but i don't see the same from men. those that are 'submissive' in bed don't seem to be turned on or desire women that are strong outside of the bedroom. it's really depressing

No. 396629

My mom told me recently that my sister had to get surgery to remove her Fallopian tubes (?) and she won't have children. To be honest, I am completely relieved.
I feigned a false amount of concern for her future but because she has done nothing but beat the shit out of my mom it's a blessing. She's also beat me, the rest of our siblings and stolen/broken our things when we were kids. It's one of the reasons why I can't live with my mom in the same house. She's too forgiving and think my sister can "change her mood" when she's not treating her bipolar disorder. She was on medication but stopped because her "friends told her to". Her friends and birth mother (who, by the way, is just as immature as her daughter) are such a shitty enabling influence.
Anyways, I am sorry for her in some pitiful way but not sorry she received such bad news.

No. 396635

Just got rejected from a summer program at my uni. A lot of people I know got in, but they're not people I see more than once a week.
I wasn't the most qualified, and gave a pretty sad go at one part of it, but there was some part of me still hoping a miracle might happen. I keep going between being like "oh, well" and being really depressed. I tell everyone it doesn't bother me and that I knew I wouldn't get in, but the truth is I don't know what to feel.
Some of my friends who got in are even less qualified than me, but are favored more by the faculty. I know that's just life, but it still sucks.
One of my roommates also didn't get in and is being dramatic as fuck, posting shit like "maybe i should disappear or transfer schools" on her finsta. I just don't want people to see me like that.
Just feelsbadman

No. 396642

How would you even know

No. 396644

she doesn’t, but she’ll probably insist she does

No. 396655

I feel you although a huge part of me wanting to date a submissive man is also because I get the feeling that he would be more respectful to me than the men I’ve dated in the past.

No. 396665

>overheard one of the coworkers i like calling me an idiot
I never considered myself an exclusion to these sort of remarks of hers but it still sucks and just reaffirms my thoughts that I really am an incompetent idiot and that the people I work with are annoyed with me. Also had a coworker roll his eyes before I approached him to ask for a favor. Nice.

No. 396704

I'm trying not to be such a bitter cunt about it, but I don't know how I'm supposed to be chill about seeing my boyfriend once every 2 weeks, for a single night… Usually less than 12 hours. We used to spend at least 2 or 3 nights + days together every week and then it just dropped off…

What the fuck is the point of a relationship like this.

No. 396727

Unless there is a specific reason for the drop of contact (higher workload or something) then I don't think its bitter to want to spend time together. Maybe you should sit with him and talk to him about how its making you unhappy and if he is willing to see you more or spend more days together. If he isn't willing to change then there isn't really a point in seeing him if its not the type of relationship you want.

No. 396740

How do I deal with my bf being a fucking passive agressive annoying fucker who gets all paternalist whenever I make any small faux pas
Asking for a friend

No. 396752

i know ill probably sound spoiled asf, but i regret moving in with my grandparents.

my grandmother is incapable of making normal food, her idea of a healthy meal is a giant portion of fish fingers and chips, and she just had a meltdown when i told her that thats extremely greasy and unhealthy and that its not a meal normal people eat for lunch. she also buys these giant cheap donuts from the grocery store and gets mad if i dont eat all the ones she brought in one sitting. she also places a tray filled with all this sugary greasy shit next to me, if i move shell just move it next to me again, and if i dont eat it all then she will guilt trip me for days. i counted it, and shes trying to make me eat something like 6000+ calories a day. ive had enough.

No. 396754

Do you pay rent? You do sound spoiled though I'm a health freak myself so I'd probably just come up with a way of disposing the food while pretending I ate it.

My father's kicking me out, well he's raised my rent to a sky high level. The problem is, he's doing the same for my brother so I have to pay the rent for both me and my bro, who is autistic and not suitable for work, and now I have to find a place for both of us.

I wish my grandparents were alive so I'd have a place to go to as a temporary solution. My grandma loved me and she would have killed my father for doing this.

No. 396757

My family are adopting a dog we can't possibly care for from the shelter and they didn't ask my opinion about it at all. I'm the primary person who takes care of our current dog and I would have preferred a medium sized dog that's chill. Instead they're getting a high-maintenance, demanding dog that needs to be walked twice daily and groomed regularly due to shedding. I've tried talking them out of it but they just keep telling me I'm acting like a bitch and I'm doing this to annoy them, not because I care about the dog. Fuck my family, I hate them and I'm so desperate to move out.

No. 396762

I'm tired of being worried about my friend's mental health and well-being and not receiving anything in return other than a couple of messages that make me feel like I'm failing or I'm useless.
I understand that sometimes it's hard for people to talk about their problems, I'm not saying that they are obliged to tell me something they don't want to tell me, but basically I am their only friend, and they keep complaining that they don't have friends or that they can't vent, I think it's pretty hypocritical.
I guess the key is to distance myself emotionally, but it pisses me off to feel upsetting or annoying when I just want it to be okay.
I don't even want to meet up with them anymore at this point, it tires me out because I know they're not okay (it's not as if they try to hide it anyways) but won't tell a shit, they'll show up all moody and silent and I will have to be the one doing the talking for not making it awkward.

No. 396777

I don’t think it’s wrong to care about your health at all. If your grandma is eating like that too, it’s just slowly killing her. Doesn’t matter if you’re living there for free, caring about your health doesn’t make you spoiled.

No. 396784

Because all of my breakups have been mutual and they weren't cheaters? Contrary to popular beliefs not all men cheat on you.
>>inb4 you just didn't catch them
No they just didn't cheat lol unlike op we had communication and trust.

No. 396786

I would like to apologize if I sound like a whiny child.
Routine is going to make me insane. Every day is the same as the last, wake up - go to my shit job - go back home. Once a week I see a friend (my only friend as sad as it sounds) and on weekends I just don't do anything. I'm not interested in anything in particular while in the past at least I was into videogames and reading, nowadays I haven't touched my 3DS for a long-ass time and I haven't even finished a book I started last August. The other day a coworker asked me if I had some kind of hobby and I had to make up some shit because honestly I didn't know what to say.
The worst thing is that I feel jealous everytime I see people live a more fulfilling life than mine as if I was a fucking incel and I feel like a shit person for it. I feel like a have no future and honestly if the rest of my life is going to be like this I'd rather just die.

No. 396799

Same anon here. I decided to talk with them because my mind wouldn't stop making me feel anxious and they told me they're tired of me overthinking every little thing and that they don't feel like being my friends anymore, so I guess I'm friendless now. Conveniently this happened right after we started university, when I don't have to see them everyday. I guess people get tired of people, it doesn't matter if I had known them for more than ten years of my life.
It's going to be a hard night… I'm going to cuddle my dog now.

No. 396807

Social media is eating my life.
I was (am?) online friends with this girl and today I noticed she unfollowed me (twitter), so I went to ask her if I did something. She goes "nah, i'm just gonna follow you on -another site-." She doesn't even have an account on that site and even if she did, all she'd get from me is silence because it's not suited for daily updates like twitter. So, she doesn't want to hear anything from me I guess? Friendship over?

Also, fucking follower count. Goddamn it, I don't get how people have the patience to follow hundreds and then unfollow. I don't understand how people who aren't content creators get so many. Like? People like reading the same few jokes over and over again?

The worst part is I'm well aware this is bullshit and doesn't matter at all,,,, but it still makes me feel shitty.

No. 396810

love you anon, always remember you are loved even if you dont hear it enough, your feelings are valid, and that this too shall pass. this is exactly whats going on with my twin right now and i know i could make her feel more appreciated than i do… please have a good day and stay safe, i know that something that helps me gather my thoughts and ignore ones i dont want to have is the “leaves on the river” guided mindfulness exercise, its easy to find via google but doing something like mindfulness or guided meditation has helped me center myself and collect my energy and thoughts to put it towards my interests vs my vices. good luck anon sorry for the unsolicited advice

No. 396817

watched some stupid commentary vid on prankinvasion's kissing his sister vid which had clips of it and it made me weirdly horny, just want someone to kiss me if just once in my life like.

No. 396820

I was just pulled into a meeting about how my whole entire department is shutting down. My last day is the 27th and this is such bullshit. I have bills to pay…

No. 396825

This is probably kind of dumb to ask but I am not sure if I was sexually assaulted or not. The situation went like this: I was sick and tired of the constant emotional abuse I went through with my ex. I was lying in bed just clearly depressed and sick of everything and he attempted to have sex with me even while knowing I was unhappy with the relationship. I just didn't care at all. I was just that fed up with everything and found his attempt at having sex with me to be completely pathetic. My feelings at the time were just complete apathy. I guess there was no consent on my end which is why the few people I have told this to have considered it sexual assault.

No. 396840

I got diagnosed with the 18 strain of HPV which is highly oncogenic and everything my boyfriend had to say is that he's afraid he'll get cancer too even if I explained to him the chances are minimal he still seemed more worried about himself than me. I'm very young yet I was born with a very weak immune system and my grandmother died of cancer almost a year ago and just recently got diagnosed with this shit feels great to know I'll probably die when my mental health will be better

No. 396861

This is probably no comfort, but look up statistics in your country regarding hpv and cancer. It helped me realize that not every infection leads to cancer. Now I know you said the strain has a high possibility of morphing into something bad, but still.
Also better now then in 20 years time - it could be already too late by then. Most women die because they don't get regular check-ups (at least where I'm from) and the fucker metastasized beyond help

No. 396862

Eh, not to invalidate you, but here's a few things I want to illuminate. I think more context is needed because from the story you painted I would not say this was sexual assault.

>I was lying in bed just clearly depressed and sick of everything

So you were laying in bed? Were you crying? I don't really know what this means. If I were laying in bed my bf would probably come up and try to lay with me too. Unless there had been a discussion previously, but even then I've had fights where we had sex afterwards and it's pretty normal for a lot of people.

>knowing I was unhappy with the relationship

Did ya talk about it?

>My feelings at the time were just complete apathy.

I guess here is where the lines are blurred for me. You did not express you weren't interested. You permitted it to happen and that is pretty much consent. Especially if you're in a relationship. Again, depending on additional context, that might change my mind, but sexual assault is ASSAULT. It's an act of perpetration.

Men think differently than women do, that is just a fact. He's not going to connect the things you described (you laying in bed depressed because you are unhappy with your relationship) unless you have explicitly stated them.

My question is… did you talk to HIM about it? Obviously you are broken up now, but did you ever talk about this with him?

No. 396870

i'm an anon who was trying to lose weight. basically i gained 18 pounds in a short span of time. i'm slowly realizing it wasn't just because i stopped excersising so much. i also started taking valproate for my bipolar disorder. so i gained 18, got super depressed about it then lost 8 lbs.

well, recently they upped my dosage and all the weight that i had lost came back so fucking fast. so i'm back to square one. and i don't know what to do cause i don't want fucking lithium but i also hate being fat so much. im so sad why did i have to be born like this

No. 396872

I did talk to him about how unhappy I was in the relationship. When that whole thing happened, I was just recently done crying and just basically feeling dead on the inside about the whole relationship since prior to this, it was two whole days of him getting mad at me for acting cold toward him because of his mistreatment toward me and his cheating. I just have no clue why he did it since he definitely wasn't trying to comfort me and he actually seemed to feel incredibly embarrassed afterwards over his attempt to have sex with me and kind of begged me to not see it as rape. That was the extent of any talking we had about the incident. Honestly, I never even thought about it or felt that affected by it until I talked to a few people recently about the incident which made me wonder. Anyways, I don't mind anyone who doesn't see it as sexual assault because I just found him pathetic at that moment more than anything.

No. 396893

I had to take valproate for epilepsy for a while. Thankfully I wasn't on it too long because it didn't work. I found that made me constantly hungry, all I could think about was food and I used to stuff my face until I was so full I felt sick.

I dealt with it by getting rid of all the food that started making me fat because any self control I once had was gone. Instead I kept a supply of lean meat like chicken with lots of low calorie vegetables. This worked for me in two ways. It would put me off eating when I wasn't actually hungry because I now had to put in the effort to cook and if I couldn't help but ram food into my mouth, it didn't matter because a box a mushrooms and a cucumber is about 40 calories.

No. 396930

>out with bf
>he gets a call from his coworker
>she asks what he's doing, he says "nothing"
>she tells him she got a new job and asks if they'll still be friends and she says "i love you" and he says it back

Now he's mad at me for acting uncomfortable and I really was not in the mood for whatever he comes up with to retaliate, I sent him home. Idk what I am to him even after several years of being together.

No. 396931

lol are you sure that's your boyfriend? Why would he tell someone else they love them are you sure he isn't two-timing you

No. 396932

I went to fucking Steak n Shake and holy shit the management was terrible. Like only 2 cooks were in the kitchen, everyone else was a waiter or cashier. I witnessed a waitress come in and she immediately got sent home because there was literally only 10 people sitting down to eat. The waitress even said, "Well, this isn't the first time this has happened." and left. There were already like 10 waiters there too. Just standing around, talking.
It took like 20 minutes for me to get my food. Also the person who gave me my bag of food, I'm pretty sure it was the supervisor, gave it to someone else. I had to dig into my own bag to check if it was actually mine. If anybody else did it I would've asked for a whole new order.

Someone before me had an issue with their order, they got charged for fries and wanted a refund for the extra fries and then the fucking cook tries to come up and negotiate with the person saying "Well, it's not gonna be much of a difference if you take out the fries" and the person firmly told the cook, "I don't want fries, though. I'm not gonna eat them. I want my 90 cents." THEN, the cashier tried to stop the refund by going, "Well, from my experience…" And the person had to tell him to shut up lmao.
God it was a shit show. Seriously, these people aren't getting paid to argue with a customer who clearly stated their order had a mistake. Don't guilt the person into accepting the mistake and not changing anything. I swear. Hire more cooks. There's a reason why the fucking dine-in area is so bare and you're not getting any revenue.

No. 396937

His coworker was excited and I guess it was joke-y? But its blatantly disrespectful and my bf is probably brain damaged.

No. 396944

oh jesus anon, that's awful. really looks like he is two-timing you, at least emotionally speaking

No. 396956

Get real friendly with his best friend and see how he likes it

No. 396963

sounds like emotional cheating to me.

No. 396982

Anon, if you can manage, please don’t lose hope. I was in this exact situation for years. My ability to do anything other than browse YouTube and image boards outside of work was 0. Not playing games, or drawing, or anything. Even though I had a stable income and a safe roof over my head, it wasn’t better. I had nothing to talk to people about because I literally did nothing but sleep, eat, and work retail. Envisioning a future seemed pointless. I thought, “yeah, I could get married, have children, the possibility is there but what’s the point”. I was functioning, but dead on the inside. I felt like my existence was a drag on others, and that the burden of my apathy was causing the people around me to resent me.

What I didn’t realize is that I was actually under an incredible amount of stress, combined with untreated ADHD that I had suffered from since childhood. It had morphed into depression over time, and I had never had any idea of the cause because I had lived almost my entire life like this. I thought it was normal. It’s not.

If you haven’t been to any kind of doctor, I’d suggest going. Also, get you’re hormones checked if possible. I know this isn’t the easiest suggestion if you live somewhere like America (ie absolute shit doctors and extreme prices), but if you can go through planned parenthood or a dedicated mental health clinic, you should get better results than from a general practitioners recommended psychiatrist.

This is a good first step. There’s more, but I think I’m getting long winded and don’t want to turn this into a blogpost, so I’ll end with this:

It took me a couple years, but I slowly managed to crawl out from the hole. I’m back to having a routine, outwardly not so different than before, but mentally completely different. I actually feel accomplished, doing work. I can work the same amount or more, without fatigue, and then have energy for hobbies (that I now care about again). Thinking about totally mundane future shit actually makes me excited and happy. The lingering fear is gone. I know that emotionally, you probably won’t be able to feel hope from reading this. But if the logical part of your brain can just remember that, somewhere, it was possible for someone, maybe that will be a good first step.

No. 396985

File: 1554862898904.jpg (14.25 KB, 480x362, 1554697718842.jpg)

Manbaby uncle finally left and I couldn't be more relieved.

First of all, it's rude as fuck to just decide one week he wants to "visit" family, and proceeds to inform everyone in less than two day's notice that he'll be crashing at our places. I put visit in quotations because he never actually visits, it's him flopping in front of the tv while someone else cooks him three squares a day. And because he never gives adequate warning, neither me nor anyone else can get time off work (to actually visit or do anything, yanno). So it's literally us going to work just to come home and be met by this mid 50s year old dude intruding on our space and privacy. Most people would just like to unwind after work. Mom doesn't give a fuck because she's a retired bitch with nothing better to do than be a handmaid, but me and dad work.

This rude behavior is totally enabled. It could be because my uncle is the youngest of my mom's siblings, and the fact that he gives off the impression of being simple because-frankly-he acts stupid combined with the fact that he has Tourettes.
But that's all bullshit.
At worst my uncle is probably a bit on the aspie spectrum, but the reason why he comes off so aloof is because he's selfish and doesn't pick up on any social cues due to being babied all his life. Consequences were next to nil and there was always someone making excuses for him. He lived with my grandparents up until they passed away; imagine your mom cooking and doing your laundry until you were in your 40s! That was my uncle.

My mom goes into mother hen mode whenever he comes to visit, because my grandparents were misogynists who always placed importance on a male's presence. And so she takes on a role of servitude despite the fact that none of her brothers are ever as considerate or accommodating towards her.
"What about your uncle?" It might come off as a sweet gesture to others, but because I know the full picture it fills me with disgust how she waits on them hand and foot while they all barely muster a care in return.

Aside from that, my uncle is just an annoying and stupid dumbass in general.
My first interaction was seeing him waddle out of my mom's house in a shirt that was two sizes too small, revealing his round fupa poking out the bottom. Thankfully, he changed out of that and opted for a Chris Chan tier white polo shirt that had blue, yellow, and red stripes all over it–this happened after we informed him we were taking him to a buffet for dinner. Aka a feeding trough because he notoriously overeats. My evening meal was spent in the crossfire of his chewed food sputum flecking onto my arms and hair because he talks when he eats. And he never talks about anything new, so it's all the same shit that's been regurgitated before-no pun intended. He never has anything new or intelligent to say.
Did I mention the tourettes? So on top of the obnoxiousness of his mannerisms he also grunts, oinks, and makes other sounds while he eats. He sounds and acts like a literal pig at the table.
But anyway we got through the dinner.

He decides to spend the nights at my aunt and uncle's house that's a five minute walk down the street. Thank goodness, or so I thought.
My uncle actually went to work during the day, so he never babysat manbaby uncle unless at night. My aunt was in another state the whole time until she got back today.
So, actually, we all wound up being manbaby uncle's primary sitters.

I came home from work yesterday and the lazy fuck parked his truck in my spot. As in, he's so obese and lazy he actually drove his truck to our house instead of walking the whole 5 minute jaunt down the street in our little subdivision.
I get into the house and my mom was working to fix some kind of casserole scratch while manbaby was watching a McDonald's documentary thing on Netflix. He didn't say a word as I walked in, nor did I to him.
Since I don't like my mom's cooking I started to make my own meal. Since my cooking is actually good, manbaby's pigsnout started to wiggle. Turned out he didn't like the slop my mom had rustled up for them and hankered for the food I had made for myself. There were at least three other portions I had intended for future meals, or a reasonable post-meal snack for him.
Mom, being the pathetic handmaid she is, saw my uncle's distress and volunteered to him MY food! Super rude. He didn't take any because I made sure I looked as displeased as possible. His dumb ass tried to compliment my cooking by saying I must have inherited it from my mom (???) which makes no sense as it stands but that's how the narcissists in my family operate; it's not that I taught myself how to cook and therefore am good, I clearly inherited voodoo from my mom who never showed me how to make anything but hamburger helper and by the way isn't her food the shit he was trying not to eat?????????

Same shit, different day today.
Came home from work.
Dumbfuck is in my spot.
Open the door and he's plopped on the couch watching tv.
Mom is in the kitchen starting dinner.
They went shopping today and got seafood, so I had to cook their seafood since they don't know how to even make it.
Does manbaby volunteer to help with anything? Fuck no.
Mom asks him specifics about how he'd like his dinner as if he's a child to be waited on.
Uncle eats a third of the seafood himself.
Then hovers around awkwardly watching tv until he deems it late enough to leave.

It sickens me so much. I can't even imagine how hard I'd be put in place if I, a woman, were to act like this in any capacity.

No. 396992

I want to ask out this cute guy who works at the coffee shop near my house that I always go to but I don’t know how I’d do that? Also I have no idea if I’m just projection my feelings from my ex into him and just want a rebound.

No. 397011

Anon, you are getting cucked hard. Don't stand for this.

No. 397016

I've been on lolcow since 2014 and idk if the userbase has actually changed or I've just gotten sick of it but I swear that farmers are more annoying than they used to be. The infighting and nitpicking is so fucking tiring to scroll through especially when it's the majority of a thread. The only thread I come here for anymore is the kpop critical thread even though the infighting is super bad in those threads I put up with it because it's the only place on the internet I know of where it's ok to be critical of kpop. Even my favorite cow's thread is completely unreadable to me now. I guess maybe in the long run it's a good thing that I lessen my use of this website but I can't help but get annoyed sometimes

No. 397028

Honestly I haven't been using the site nearly as long but Ive noticed that the userbase seems kinda worse overall in the last year or so.
The lack of reading comprehension is what kills me the most though. It's embarrassing watching a thread devolve into sperging for hours because they misinterpreted a post or a took an obvious joke/meme seriously.

No. 397043

Imo you're romanticizing the past. Go read through old threads. Really wasn't that dissimilar aside from people having more open social/political leanings now

No. 397058

File: 1554870979150.gif (2.64 MB, 200x113, EB110158-3CEB-4BE0-BED5-B5B67C…)

Ive been having a really hard year, and i already wasn’t having a good timeline… My boyfriend of almost 2 years took his life almost a year ago, i relapsed into a heroin habit i curbed as a teenager really hard, I quit my job because we worked at the same place together and it was too hard to face our coworkers, and I still live in the room we had together in the home we built together with our roommates, just alone. I’ve been trying to find solace and peace in the wrong places, and I dont know how to stop. I dont feel like I can handle a rehab facility, and I know it would be tolling in more ways than financially for my family for me to go. I feel like a burden and a monster, and I feel everyone getting sick of me being a piece of shit leech but every time i think of getting my shit together i just feel overwhelmed and i crave dope. I dont know what to do, I can try to unwind myself in as many ways as possible but i dont know how to stop feeling this pain. i havent had to romantically socialize in years and I’m young but im butch looking and have generally weird social habits that people love me for but in a “that goofy friend we have” way. I don’t know when im gonna get to smile again without the help of substances regardless of the catagory the way he made me smile. people have said thats ok but i dont think i can be ok with it. i just want someone to hold me and to hold and i really just would do anything for 5 earthly minutes to just say goodbye and i know everyone who knew him feels the same. i feel like death isnt talked about enough other in a way of “im so sorry” and just an uncomfortable gut feeling, and i dont know how to talk about it without feeling like i cant talk about it. i thought i burst an abcess in my arm earlier this year and i really thought i was gonna have to bite the bullet and just go to a doctor to see if it needed to be amputated and i really dont know what kind of person i am that i am ok with losing life and limb for temporary peace. thanks for anyone who reads this, sorry for the wall of text.

No. 397060

I’m really depressed and have been since I’ve been really young.
I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression-lite (honestly forget the word people use when they can’t diagnose a child with depression) at the at of 12, but I’d been seeing a child therapist on/off since the age of 9. I’ve been on various anti-depressants since the age of 13, and clonazepam since the age of 16. I’ve agoraphobic since the age of 17, and despite seeing a therapist weekly since age 19 (now 25), nothing is working. Dropped out of highschool at 16 because of this.

My dad has Asperger’s and my mom is emotionally devoid. Nothing has helped. Not therapist intervention at my request, not me talking to them. They’re fucked up and I suffer because of it.
I have absolutely no self worth or confidence. I have tried committing suicide twice. Once it went entirely unnoticed by my own parents. Ended up passed out for maybe 30-something hours, arm was numb and in incredible pain as the feeling came back for a long time because I was lying on it for a long time.
I’ve never had a job. I’m naive and afraid of the world.

I’m drunk and tired and I really, really want to die. I can’t wait to finally die.

No. 397062

The only reason I’m alive right now is my cat. Before that, it was for my dog. My parents can’t. Even show proper respect and love to an animal
I can’t leave her
What do I do

No. 397081

It depends on the thread. Early Dakota threads are so nice its obvious that most anons were jealous of her and wanted to skinwalk her, with people sharing her outfit links and asking where she got her circle lenses. Now Dakota threads are full of vitriol and sperging, since theres no milk.

so my theory is the more actual milk or events there are to discuss, the less nitpicking goes on. when a cow or flake goes silent, anons start having to pick at weight or noses and nasolabial folds.

as for the kpop critical thread, it started off as a place to complain about korea as a whole because this /ot/ had a phase where there were a bunch of ex-weebs and kboos talking about how asian culture ruined their lives and made them hate being white.

No. 397086

File: 1554877918455.jpg (66.29 KB, 659x680, qghnuxkd7r821.jpg)

I wish my cat was better at entertaining himself. When I get home from work I play with him for 30-45 min and then have to make dinner and do commission work. He will follow me around meowing and swatting my ankles the whole time. Then I play with him with the laser a bit before bed to try and wear him out but he's still super needy. I get he's lonely and bored all day but I can't play with him for hours when I get home. I have different toys lying around for him to entertain himself with (a tunnel, 2 cat trees in front of 2 different picture windows, different kinds of balls, a teaser stuck to the wall) but he never engages with them unless I get on the floor with him. I'd get a second cat so they could keep each other company but I'm afraid they'll hate each other and then I'll have two needy bastards to take care of. I love him to death but between my fulltime job and doing art on the side I just don't have time to play with him for hours except on weekends. Maybe I'm just a bad pet owner.

No. 397093

i posted like 3 threads ago about having a toxic friend who constantly talked down to me and one upped any of my achievements in life and how always used every topic in our conversations to talk about herself/how great she was or how much worse she had it in life than me. she copied literally everything i did just to compete and be better than me at it. today i finally dumped that toxic friend and couldnt feel any better about it. ive been wanting to do this for a long time but never found the right situation to do it.
the final nail in the coffin was the last few days where i made it clear to her that her constant complaints and negativity always brought me down into a bad mood. she was always sending messages to me or whining in the middle of me having fun with my friends and it would completely spoil the mood. evidently she didnt give a crap about any of that because she went right back to condescending me and complaining about everything bad in her life today so i just got fed up and ended it. ofc she tried to play the victim game and guilt trip me, as if that's going to get me to like her somehow? and i just told her to seek professional help and dont message me anymore. im hoping to just never hear from her again but considering how obsessed she is i doubt thats the last im gonna see of her.

No. 397101

aw, it sounds like you love him a lot and like he's taken good care of. Don't beat yourself up.
I think getting another cat is not a bad idea. If he's that energetic around you, I'm sure he'd love a friend after some introduction and maybe play-fights and another cat could find a loving home and an energetic friend with him.

No. 397125

you’re not the worst owner but what were you expecting? a cute ornament that breathes and does everything for itself outside of eating and cleaning the box? it’s a living creature anon. i’m sure you love your cat but you clearly should’ve put more thought into the commitment when you got him/her. they need a few hours of enrichment every day just like any other animal would. don’t get a second damn cat though jesus. that’s not going to solve the problem. most adult cats do not like being placed with other adult cats they’re not already familiar with and if one is bigger/older than the other there’s almost always going to be tension. obviously there’s exceptions to that but they’re not schooling fish. instead of doubling your problems with another cat just focus on the one you have already.

No. 397139

File: 1554895042266.jpg (73.38 KB, 720x629, DGayS7xXcAAR4BH.jpg)

I hated my ex for always being jealous. I had to block him from seeing my fb posts and other social media because he'd hound me every dude who posted on my stuff or take things too seriously. It was exhausting but I'm now that person with my current boyfriend because I got cheated on after that ex. Now my bf is either doing the same thing to me or lying. He added my best friend back on fb and it basically confirmed for a couple months he's restricted me so I can only see public posts. He posts regularly and I noticed he stopped. He said he just stopped posting so he did lie about it but my friend let me log into her FB to check it out and he's not hiding anything/anyone? He's not posting anything that would be offensive towards our relationship and there's no flirting or anything weird in any comments. It's all how it always was and it's not like I ever posted on anything so I couldn't find a reason and that's when I realized he did he probably did it because he started to get tired of the anxiety kinda comments I'd make on things over nothing. I hate myself and I gotta get my anxiety under control. I'm going to talk to him about it and be transparent in that I understand why he did it but I am worried that maybe it's for some fuck boy reason and some small other things I've been anxious about are true and that would have to be for cheating reasons. I'm not sure which is worse on being right about tbh. Me being so like my jealous ex or him being a lying cheater. He doesn't deserve this if I'm wrong and I have been so bad lately. He's been overwhelmingly accommodating but it's not ok still. If he's willing to talk to me about this I'm going to stop being unbearable and get meds for my anxiety finally. I just hope my anxiety isn't right about what it could be tho.

No. 397142

File: 1554897221724.jpg (7.88 KB, 207x228, 1457265590710.jpg)

I just wish I'd mean something to someone. And it sucks to know that the people I cared about most don't. Why do I even bother.

No. 397143

I feel like my insecurities about my body are ruining my relationship. Romantically we’re perfect and I love him and likewise for me. Sexually its sort of a mess.
For my side of things, I feel disgusting, I hate my body and everything about it. Sometimes I’m fine with the ‘sex’ we have but usually we have to stop because I get so disgusted with myself. I hate it and it’s so embarrassing.
He also has difficulties on his side (which I won’t go into) but it really doesn’t help me since I feel as though he is not attracted to me which is why he is having problems, despite him telling me it’s not my fault (as well he has a lower libido whereas mine is, ironically, higher). I think because his happened first it’s really got to me that I’m not actually what he wants, I do trust what he tells me, but my brain can’t stop thinking he is lying. We’re each other’s firsts and I’m entirely inexperienced as is he, but there is nobody else I’d rather be like this with. I am on a waitlist for therapy so that feels like the good thing that can help otherwise I’m at a loss on how to fix this stuff.
I just wish it was as easy as everyone else makes it out to be because at the moment its horrible and makes me feel so shit.

No. 397145

This is far too relateable except I don't have any friends and when my coworkers asked me the same thing I just awkwardly paused for 15 seconds, totally unsure of what to say because I don't enjoy shit anymore either, then proceeded to say how I wish I could go camping more often. Then they asked why I don't and I just paused again and said "I don't know".
> I feel like a have no future and honestly if the rest of my life is going to be like this I'd rather just die.
Same. Exactly the same. Just end me. I'm sorry I have no valuable advice for you as I'm in the same hole too. Hope it atleast gives you comfort to know that you're not alone. Take care, friend.

No. 397148

Who are the people you hared about most?

No. 397150

I just wanna vent about this stupid ASMR channel and her bullshit.

It's Crinkleluvin. Claims to have been a nurse for 7 years but quit due to broken wrist that left her with no dexterity. Makes horribly inaccurate medical role plays and gets mad when called out.
Says she's a triathlete, marathon runner and has lupus, PTSD, fibromyalgia, depression…

Steals art and traces it and posts it on her IG and rakes in compliments. Lied about how much weight she was squatting in a video when the weight was shown to be much less, got mad when called out.

I just wanna scream seeing her pop up. How dare you trace Aughra you fish lipped cunt.

No. 397157

I wish I had friends I could do fun stuff with.
I kinda want to get into DnD but I have nobody to play with and I'm way too shy to try to join a group in my area (and it'd probably be a total sausagefest anyway).

I'm too afraid to ever put myself out there but if I don't do that I'll never make friends. God I hate anxiety.

No. 397159

Something always seemed really off about her.

No. 397163

Go for the DnD groups, anon! It might end up being a sausage fest, but contrary to popular belief DnD actually has much more women playing it than people think. And everyone who plays DnD tends to be kind of awkward and shy too, so they won't judge you if you are.

No. 397166

I don't know how deep your anxiety runs but I used to struggle (still do a bit) with social anxiety and I'd like to share something that helped me a lot.

I was actually seeing a therapist for it because my social anxiety was so bad and my therapist made me go with him to a local mall and just stare at people. The rule was I wasn't allowed to break eye contact first. I didn't have to talk to people, just look at them.

Anyway, what I realized was everyone I looked at broke eye contact very quickly, and nobody confronted me. People were (understandably, I was staring at them) nervous and I realized that most people are also shy with strangers, and don't want any trouble. I was young at the time, so I'd just left high school where the more confident extroverted people can get really nasty, but I realized that even confident extroverted adults aren't usually like that anymore. It really helped me stop seeing other people as scary monsters out to humiliate me.

No. 397167

I've been here for just as long and the userbase has changed. The anons we have now are all retarded or something idk where they came from but honestly they need to go back lol.

No. 397174

I'm >>396508 and I just came back to say I went into a meeting yesterday at my job and found out that I'm actually losing my job on the 27th. This just keeps better and better. Fuck my life honestly.

No. 397186

File: 1554909167126.jpeg (40.92 KB, 828x804, D3J1Y3cVYAEtTnE.jpeg)

I fucking regret self harming as a teen. I have gashes and keliod scars on my legs that'll never fade, and as someone who's pursuing a career in acting and modeling it fucking sucks.

No. 397208

One of my biggest wishes is that one day medical technology will find a way to eliminate old scars for good. I have self-harm scars from a time when I was undergoing abuse. Shit fucking sucks so I feel you.

No. 397213

I work in Gov Relations, so a large part of my job is hanging out at the state capital. Today they're voting on an abortion bill which would limit abortions past a detectable heartbeat. Extreme bill, but whatever, courts will probably ravage it.

There's a fuckload of these anti-abortion protesters here today and they are so absolutely rotten. I am trying to run from committee to committee, between buildings, running things back and forth from my office to other offices. There's hundreds of these women and men clogging the sidewalks and standing around largely doing nothing. It is so frustrating trying to get from one place to another. It's 1pm on a Wednesday, don't you work?

People have a right to protest, I am not saying it should be taken away. Just venting about how annoying it is to try to get from point A to point B while pushing through crowds of "large"ly disgruntled and disheveled people.

No. 397215

File: 1554916852713.jpg (517.32 KB, 750x933, 26mbfan7ad111.jpg)

>keep failing on dates because brain turns to mush in presence of cute men
>had a perfectly good chance to get with an interesting guy today
>could tell he tried to flirt
>every time he asked a simple question I was just fucking GONE
>come off as both rarted AND an ignorant asshole
kms tbh
My brain just goes "ooga booga boy small good big eyes hnnn" and that's all there is. I fucking hate myself.

No. 397216

File: 1554916859141.jpg (45.14 KB, 409x359, 1551755801068.jpg)

Ugh, I understand this completely. Under the influence of Klonopin I burned a shitload of cigarettes into my left hand. I don't smoke anymore and am now a professional, but even though it's been 5 years since I did this the scars are still very much visible. Cigarette burns have a. very obvious shape so people always ask me what they are. I say "grease splatter", which most people won't question further, but I have overheard people talk about it behind my back.

I hate when I am in a meeting and people stare at it. My heart sinks.

>anon, what's that?

>how'd that happen?
>looks like that hurt

No. 397227

I fucking HATE it when people ask about my scars too. I know they don’t mean harm but I don’t get why people have to ask about that shit. I never felt the need to ask people who are disfigured or who have extremely visible skin conditions what happened to them because it’s none of my business.

No. 397234

If I cannot HEAR you because you mumble into the phone, maybe you shouldn't be a call center worker. I spent 30 minutes just now going back and forth with a chick on the phone because she could not speak up. I couldn't understand her and it was ridiculously hard to hear her. I got denied for what I was trying to apply for anyways so that's 30 minutes I cannot get back thanks.

No. 397238

Can relate anons. I've done some absolutely retarded things to my hands, arms, and occasionally my legs, thighs, chest, and neck, with cigarettes primarily and although the burns have healed with time, the outline is still very visible to me and some people. It doesn't help that I've relapsed a few times since the initial cigarette burn episodes, where I gave myself… what, 13 burns? I've never done something that extreme since, I have only had condensed episodes.

The knife and razor scars are luckily less visible, but they're still ugly and I feel like everyone can see them. It gets hot as hell down here during the summer so I have no choice but to often leave my arms open during those months. It really tanks my esteem every time someone notices I have scars.

No. 397258

File: 1554924056590.png (1.33 MB, 2048x1920, Screenshot_20190410-152112.png)

No. 397261

My new roommate who is a fat fuck keeps leaving shit and shit marks in the toilet after spending 30+ minutes in it each time.

I'm going to lose my fucking mind, I fucking hate fat male pigs.

No. 397267

anon, I so know how you feel.
My father is the same, I just don't know how some men can lack decency to clean after themselves.

I don't want to go into graphic details, but the things I've seen were so disgusting. My brother and I never left nasty surprises ever since we were little kids and nobody had to teach us that. Why on Earth is my father such a disgusting swine, I'll never know.

The worst part is that the shitting always took in the morning when I was making breakfast. The stench from the toilet would spread throughout the entire first floor and make me gag. But the shit stains, oh God the shit stains. I still have nightmares about them. When moving out, the best thing about it was not having to fear what I'd see first thing in the morning.
Sorry for the rant but despite it not sounding like an issue, it was a fucking hell.

No. 397269

You should tell him to clean the toilet after he uses it. And if he acts like a whiny bitch about it, just leave used tampons floating in the toilet or period blood on the toilet rim for him to see.

No. 397270

my husband and i met on the internet a long time ago as kids. one of the people in old internet friend group who we do not associate with anymore also really liked me, and has continued with his infatuation for years. he is now drinking heavily and expressed to another internet friend of ours that he thinks of my husband and i often. neither of us have an online presence anymore or associate with old internet friends, but this friend went out of their way to contact me about the guy and sent pictures of him driving with his gun in his uniform (which is not allowed) and apparently he is driving to the city we live in which is like 650 miles from where he lives.

i am a pretty paranoid person and i don't know what reason this old friend would have to contact me about this guy unless he was actually concerned. he sent me screenshots of their convo and from snapchat (where the guy had posted pics of him waving the gun and driving)

No. 397272

Call the cops.

No. 397274

Why do so many men like metal so much? I can't listen to one shitty commentary video without being forced to listen to shitty metal. Why do people even like metal? It's awful. Like, all subgenres are shit. All of them.

No. 397280

I need a fucking job so bad.
I'm supposed to fly to Seattle in July, for a close friend's wedding, but nobody will employ me. Like, I've tried basically everywhere, I might just decide to give up and apply to Mcdonalds even though I'm not supposed to be working with food like that (I'm still recovering from an eating disorder.)
If I don't make this trip, I'll be ruining it for my boyfriend too, since he's going, but won't want to go without me.
The worst part is I'm an ex-sex worker from my teens, and the dark part of my mind is telling me to just fall back into that, since it's seemingly the only job I deserve, but I know that's just bad thinking.

No. 397284

fucking hell anon? this took an unexpected turn???

I had internet friends claiming I broke their hearts (after meeting once and never kissing) and cutting themselves, (two different guys) so I get that people fixate

This sounds genuinely dangerous, God bless the friend for telling you about it. Please tell your husband and show him the pictures. Assuming the guy knows where you live, I advise staying somewhere else (relative or friend) for a little while, and definitely call the cops

Stay safe anon

No. 397286

She blocked me anyway for calling her out on IG so at least I know she's a massive cunt with no ability to accept responsibility.

No. 397287

I think metal represents the internal feelings of men pretty well. Just nonsensical screaming and shouting. Back when Youtube was fairly new I looked up the most watched videos of the year and they were all metal videos

No. 397290

I like metal very much, especially shit like what i just linked. And for some reason, i can only listen to black metal, there just isn't much out there like it. I am pretty much the minority even as a metal listener.
I don't understand the appeal of dadrock and thrash metal, you have to be a born-in-the-wrong-generation snowflake to listen to that shit.

No. 397297

>had to make two articles for group assignment
>dumped all my files into an organized google doc folder and shared it to the group leader
>they forgot one of the essays even though it was uploaded the same day as everything else, and I checked after to make sure it was there
I’m really annoyed about this

No. 397298

this is terrible, anon. just awful, sorry.

and if you notice too, there's so much emphasis on playing guitar fast rather than it actually being aurally pleasing, and they pretend that their weird obsession with playing fast means they have the most technical skill ever, so it actually makes metal like, the most cerebral of all genres or whatever. men that like metal seem to be perpetual manchildren. i honestly can't take anyone seriously that listens to metal without acknowledging that it's garbage. sunn o))) is the closest i've ever come to hearing anything 'metal' that is any bit listenable. men are just extra prone to being tasteless edgelords, i guess.

No. 397310

I like metal too, specifically black metal but also melodic and post.

It's nice to see another anon into it.

Which other bands do you listen to?

My favorites are Imperial Circus Dead Decadence, Batushka, Agalloch, Mgla, Burzum, and 1914.

Not all of them are specifically black metal as you can probably tell.

I was also thinking of creating a metal general on lolcow but seeing the responses it would probably be a bad idea.

Also, I regardless of the subcategory, I love album arts. I aspire to become an artist to create album arts for metal bands. It probably won't happen but one can dream.

No. 397311

Have you tried working with a Workforce Solutions or similar programs? If they can get scum of society to get a job then I’m sure they can hook you up with something.

No. 397330

my ex-bf called me a bitch today, apropos of nothing
we work in the same department (yes, i've learned my lesson not to shit where i eat) and only dated for 3 months a yr ago. he broke up w me, not because i did anything bad, we just expected different things out of the relationship (i wanted romance lol). whatever, no hard feelings. however since then he's been acting like i still owe him friendship. i mostly avoid him, and if directly forced to communicate w him nonprofessionally i'll grey rock him. after the breakup the scales fell from my eyes p much and i realized he had been making me feel bad for things that i didnt have to feel bad abt, like calling him out for homophobic jokes, for insulting me, etc. he was always the victim and would literally CRY every time i told him he had done something not cool. and i guess he's mad im not being as nice to him as i was when we were IN A RELATIONSHIP, so i am a bitch.

tl;dr i hate men

No. 397335

>I was also thinking of creating a metal general on lolcow but seeing the responses it would probably be a bad idea.
No, do it! There's probably enough of us who enjoy metal.

Personnlly I love stuff like in vid related.

>I don't understand the appeal of dadrock and thrash metal, you have to be a born-in-the-wrong-generation snowflake to listen to that shit.
Thrash I can enjoy, but holy hell I can't stand the AC/DC type of dadrock.

No. 397336

You don't have to like metal, but what your saying is no different from the edge lords who slam pop music for being shallow and rap for only being about drugs and gangbanging. I'm sorry you've only ever listened to crappy emo metal.

I've been getting into Batushka lately, Litourgia is a damn good album.

It also reminds me that i need to revisit Agalloch soon, i haven't listened to them in a long time.

The bands in my current rotation are Drudkh, Horna, Urfaust, Lunar Aurora, The Angelic Process and Blut aus Nord.

I like meeting other ladies who like more extreme music in general, it always makes me happy, i'm so sad that a metal genre thread wouldn't work because people can't handle people enjoying things they don't like.

No. 397337

I wish it was acceptable in the West to wear face masks when you're sick. Not even because I'm a weebshit, I just hate taking sick days and would like to keep my nose covered when it's running uncontrollably. Or (tmi) dry and flaky from wiping after a cold.

Not sick atm, just thinking about this and being upset kek.

No. 397340

>You don't have to like metal, but what your saying is no different from the edge lords who slam pop music for being shallow and rap for only being about drugs and gangbanging. I'm sorry you've only ever listened to crappy emo metal.
anon, i've listened to many types of metal. please don't act as if draping complicated composition in 12 layers of obnoxious guitar makes it any more enjoyable or less tacky than the emo metal. it's the same cringy shit, just with more effort put into it. the difference with pop is that pop is not purposefully meant to be edgy and generally unlistenable for the sake of being edgy. it's meant to be enjoyable. rap isn't meant to be difficult to listen to, either. pop and rap aren't putting shit tons of effort into being inaccessible. it's not the same at all. and you can make a metal thread. just because people in the general vent thread are talking about disliking metal doesn't mean you can't make a thread for your interests. weird that you feel the need to victimize yourself because like two people dislike metal, lol.

No. 397341


>I found that made me constantly hungry, all I could think about was food and I used to stuff my face until I was so full I felt sick.

This describes how I've felt for the past few months perfectly. I'm never full. fuck valproate.

guess i'll take your advice and try to find more low cal stuff to fill my house with.

No. 397344

Just do it. Who cares. People will assume you’re sick. Blame the measles epidemic. “I might die if I get measles, asshole” if anyone asks.

No. 397347

My scars are very obviously self-harm (like, completely straight organized line) so most people who have any sort of tact generally say nothing to me. I still get some looks in the summer when I wear shorts but it’s whatever.

At this point, if anybody not close to me even so much as alludes to them, I generally say something like “isn’t that rude to ask?” and then a hard look.

Practice your judgemental stare.

No. 397350

My scars are the same, but my male friends still always ask about them in the most uncomfortable situations. Like I've had friends in different friend groups ask me out loud, in front of everyone else, if my scars were self-harm scars. They don't get satisfied by my go-to "It was a long time ago", they press on, drag others into the conversation, keep pushing it even as I and others ask them to stop. I don't understand the reasoning behind putting people on the spot like this.

No. 397351


Ok, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way.
I know that "go back to PULL" is kind of a meme here but I really do get the feeling that a lot of posters come from there. It's especially obvious in the /w/ threads

kind of related, I live in the US and I wish it was more acceptable to use umbrellas in the sun, they actually really help with keeping cool in the summer.

No. 397353

Why are you friends with these guys?
I can't imagine any of my friends acting like that if I exposed my legs (ntayrt btw, different leg sh scar anon).

No. 397355

I wish I was smarter. I like to think I'm somewhat intelligent, but than I'll talk to other people, or try to read something, and realize I might actually be dumb. I just want to read non fiction books about science and math and learn about everything, but my dumb little brain can't comprehend what I'm reading. I'm also too easily swayed by other people's opinions if they sound smart. And I can actually feel myself getting dumber by spending too much time staring into a fucking screen all day.

No. 397356


How am I surprised that the women who like black metal, or any kind of metal, are just like the men? Fuck outta here.

No. 397358

Have you anons looked into dermarolling? Not a total fix, but maybe it'd help some.

No. 397366

I believe you can do it. But be warned – it takes a lot of work to develop that mental capacity – you have to enjoy the subjects and appreciate the progress you make.

I developed a good mind for math and science because I was naturally curious about the world.
When you ask questions about how things work – like why there are mirages on hot days, how do medicines treat disease, how are nuclear reactors designed (I could go on) – you rapidly run into walls : the topics are more complicated than you can begin to comprehend.
Every time I was able to use my knowledge of math and science to understand something I had wondered about as a child – that was a victory.
I reached my limit at math major material - I tried studying "Real Analysis" by Rudin and the first few chapters fried my brain.
I don't think I have the attention span to learn it. Still can do Diff. Eq. and enough math theory for CS.

Keep trying anon, you'll get there eventually, and you will be glad you did.
It changes the way you see the world around you, sharpens the mind, and opens so many rewarding (and well paying) career options.

No. 397367

start by baby steps, anon, no one can read advanced research articles just like that from the ground up! choose an area you want to know more about, like three parent babies for example (just bc it was in the news recently lol), first read some basic daily mail-tier articles to understand the gist of the mechanism or problem or whatever or keywords, then move on to more pop-science-esque sources or ones meant for highschool-level teaching, breaking a bigger concept into blocks and then googling/wiki-ing it alwyas helps unless they're like names of chemicals or something, in the case of three parent babies you could divide it into how sperm and egg make a fetus, what is mitochondria, what is IVF, and then finally how three parent babies are made.

another way to approach this is by reading pop-science books, like if you want to know more about evolution and how organisms adapt and such, Horseshoe Crabs and Velvet Worms is a pretty cozy and accessible book, it has the vibe of your rambly grandpa going on and on about his holidays and weird animals and their lives through times, i'm sure you can find more like it through goodreads or something. sorry all my examples are bio related but i'm sure same could be applied to astrophysics or whatever. you just have to start with something non-intimidating that you really want to know more about, even seemingly dumb shit, that way researching it will be more interesting than checking on beckies on IG kek. like i had a very satisfying googling sesh yesterday about if vaginal yeast can be used in baking and turns out no bc it is a different species of yeast that lacks the ability. it will still feel satisfying to know something new and over time it will build your confidence in tackling more serious shit.

also just because people sound smart doesn't mean they are, it just means they know how to articulate themselves nicely or have good oratory skills, just like any skills they can be learned to an extent (some people are just natural) so don't let that intimidate you (been there, done that, was fucking dumb). always check what they are saying yourself and form your own opinions, unless it's on something absolute like ice can melt, chances are there isn't a "right" or "wrong" one and anyways you can always change it if you come across new information, no shame in that!

No. 397369

A bit of science like biology is okay – but start with math (and then foundational sciences like physics and chemistry) – half the ideas in science are largely based on math and either way, it will expand your mental capacity for the complicated mechanisms & systems you will learn about in science.
If you really want to know biology – try learning bits of organic chemistry as you go – it will make both subjects more fun.
(try to understand basic chem before you tackle that – I enjoyed organic chemistry a ton – even though I had no reason to take for my major – XD.)

No. 397376

bio anon here, def agree with you on math/logic being foundation for everything but it can also be scary to people who aren't/want to get into sciences. it all depends on how deep she wants to go, does she want to know more general surface knowledge/fun facts/only a specific area of something or thoroughly build from ground up. also how dare you say bio isn't a foundational science you exact science roastie reeee /s

No. 397378

BTW : did you enjoy organic chemistry when you took it? My professor made the topic kinda fun, esp. the labs we did.

No. 397386

oh it was absolutely great! i'm done with all my chem units for this degree now and honestly its bit upsetting lol, i loved them! also it's bit boring to me to just study one single thing over and over. the teaching staff was very engaging (no droning from text only slides) and just really good at presenting you know? the exam prep was a breeze. labs were i guess pretty basic experiment-wise but there were still fun moments, like competition for the longest nylon 66 strand or who will get the highest yield of crystals, i'm bit too competitive so it was up my alley kek

No. 397387

Totally… I think the idea of covering your face up when sick sounds great. I've been thinking of doing this too.

No. 397399

More people should acknowledge that fast food workers, cashiers, etc can be cunts. It's not just a boomer meme.
I've had a person at a fast food place serve the person behind me before me. I'd been standing there a while waiting for him to finish with other people's orders, I made eye contact with him, and this was in a notoriously racist/sexist (but otherwise developed and good for vacations) Arab country, so I'm pretty sure it was on purpose, too.
I feel bad for decent people who have to deal with shitty, unreasonable customers and work conditions, but some people honestly deserve their horrible wageslave fate.

No. 397401

I have a really painful pimple in my ear that I can't pop since I can't even fucking see it, shit HURTS AAAAH

No. 397405

Yes, thank god someone else agrees. I vented about my terrible experience at a fast food restaurant a day ago >>396932
Too many fucking people go to fast food jobs because they think they can get paid to do the bare minimum. I used to work at a restaurant too and I saw firsthand how lazy a lot of my coworkers were.
I've witnessed racist coworkers cry because they had to serve black people. When I pointed out how dumb they were acting, they tried to change the subject about how I sucked at my job. Fuck restaurant work honestly, there's better jobs out there.

No. 397407

Sounds like you have curiosity and humility, so you are already leaps and bounds ahead of many people. Novelty-seeking behavior is a more true sign of intelligence, rather than what most people may think of intelligence as information retention. Not to say that isn't a factor though. Also, you will rarely hear truly smart people refer to themselves as smart.

No. 397411

Anyone else have a hard time moving on from things? If it's just strangers then it's fine but friends… why can't i let go? I've made up my mind about this shitty friend group i left, but i just. can't. stop. thinking. about. it! I finally made up my mind and yet it's as if there's a stubborn part of me desperately clawing at some drama that i DON'T want to be a part of. I want to forget soooo badly. I want these ugly thoughts out of my head. They make me so exhausted every day. I know i was miserable and I've taken the necessary steps to distance myself. But there's an ungrateful brat deep within me that wants to hold on.

I agree with this anon. The fact that you want to pursue knowledge is already a great sign. I say fuck it, you're trying your best to improve yourself, you want to become smarter and that's great. Better than a ton of people that can't be arsed to do it.

No. 397418

>message sent on sunday
>no reply on monday
>no reply on tuesday
>no reply on wednesday
>no reply on thursday

tell me whyyyyyyyyy

No. 397420

Posted this on other thread but still very relevant. >>397396

A book on discrete math or other theory heavy math will be an good step in cultivating your mind toward loftier goals, and show you how diverse and interesting it can be.
Khan academy is your friend.
Maybe consider : http://discrete.openmathbooks.org/home.php
Art of Problem Solving material is a crucible - if you can get through it, you will come out more or less a genius.


Also I am interested in tutoring - I have too much time on my hands and I think it would be help me rediscover my enthusiasm for learning - I am kinda burned out in uni right now.

No. 397429

File: 1554967813158.jpg (364.58 KB, 1195x1047, Screenshot_20190411-084359_Twi…)

I slightly regret ending contact with a friend who liked the same stuff as me but was a huge elitist. The western anime fanbase is full of stupid shit like this and guys who fetishize middle schoolers and non stop post porn.

I also don't fit into this whole fujo twitter culture where they rightfully find the term "fag" offensive but have no problem calling each other bitches, whores and unironically using the word "boypussy".

No. 397437

>"Fujoshi are bad" is a TERF thing

The sheer stupidity. Radfems don't give a shit about anime boys kissing. It's actually teenage FTMs I see getting worked up over evil fujos.

No. 397438

This might be a bit incoherent but I feel like I need to ramble and vent a bit.
I am going to an European med school, third year. All throughout my life I was an artsy person who liked languages and literature. I always held people who understood science in high regard and wanted to be like them, so in my last year of high school I decided med school was the best achievement I could try to achieve, even though it wasn't the path I was walking on so far. So in order to feel a certain fulfilment I'm my life (I am super scared of wasting my life and not achieving enough) I entered it. I really like what we study, it's fascinating and interesting, but I am very overwhelmed. I feel like I missed all the preparation almost all students had in high school (except for biology, I never had that many science classes). I am succeeding but I have bad grades. I want to improve but I feel like I have no time… I am not being able to concentrate lately. I read the sentences and they just don't enter my head. I also entered the school choir and it's taking so much time. I don't want to lose my friends so I meet up with them from time to time and that makes me even more stressed. I made a new boyfriend few months ago and again, have less time for studying, he goes to law school and their study schedule is much looser. I also teach Japanese two to three times a week because I need the money. I try to exercise. I make time to study in my free time but I still feel like I'm not doing enough, I tend to watch Netflix and procrastinate. I feel so dumb and lazy compared to my classmates, they know every answer even to things I never heard about. Many of them also have busy schedules but are doing just fine. I also am starting to be snappy and have anger issues towards people I love and myself. I always had anxiety troubles (and that's what makes me take more and more responsibilities upon myself), lately it's getting better but I feel like it's just hidden deeper inside and I'm going to explode. Now we have only three weeks for 5 exams, each of them needing around 3 weeks to prepare for. I don't understand how people around me cope. They work just as much, know twice as much as me, pass all the exams, exercise more, have actual talents and stil have okay mood. Med students are just hardcore. I feel like I'm trash compared to them.

No. 397449

Something horrible has happened in my life and I have no one to offer me emotional support. The person closest to me is like a silent and unfeeling wall. I've always known it but when tragedy hits it's so crushing, realizing yeah, for all the years we've shared our lives together happily, he still sees real empathy as impossible and when asked why he doesn't say anything he says it's because phrases like "I'm sorry" are obligations with no meaning. But he has nothing else to say, not ever. Just a blank stare no matter how much I'm breaking down, no matter how painful what happened was. There have been so many times like that where I was going through great pain and he just sits there staring at me for ages until I finally can't take it anymore and tell him to let me be alone. It freaks me out how he can see me at rock bottom and always turn into a mannequin, like he's callously waiting until I "snap out of it" and become his fun toy that plays games and jokes around with him again. He's all smiles and encouragement and comfort when I'm doing what he wants AKA not struggling with anything. But now that I'm grieving the switch flips and he offers nothing at all. I'm supposed to be smiling and happy always and then I get all these rewards in intimacy, love, gestures of kindness, etc. but what now that I'm seriously grieving?
I have other friends but they'd react similarly and see me as a burden. Grief is supposed to be eased by the comfort of your loved ones. What do you do when the only person who comforted you is gone?

No. 397453

I'm rad leaning myself but if you're in the tumblr radfem community you'll see plenty of (lesbian) radfems arguing exactly like that. Absolutely not a fujoshi or whatever, I just wanted to point that out.

No. 397459

I went through something similar. It's really during those times where you can see who gives genuine fucks about you.
But some people might just be overwhelmed by the situation and they don't know what's the right way to react. Or they can't emotionally handle the situation so they just wait for you to "get better".
However, if that person has always been neglecting your feelings and is only there for the good times then I wouldn't consider them close, anon.
You need reassurance and comfort, not someone that makes you feel like you're a burden.
I grieved alone as well and what helped was the fact that whenever I felt lonely or sad I just wrote about it until I felt better.
There are also many online communities where you can share your feelings with people who go through the same thing.
Make yourself as busy as possible but don't try to force yourself to feel better, either.
Sorry for the shitty advice but it'll eventually be fine, anon, really.

No. 397464

You're being clearly too harsh on yourself. It's really hard to get into most European med schools and you went in despite not be the "science-type". You know what? The first few sentences could've been written by me cause I'm also the artsy type who's more linguistically talented and I had no problem with that until my parents told me how much they want me to choose the science field. It also didn't help that my friend wanted to be a doctor. But my mental health made it impossible toneven consider it.
You're doing ok despite all those things you've listed, give yourself more credit, seriously.
Stop trying to do so many things at once. It's ok to not have a perfect balance all the time, but don't let procrastination take over.
And don't compare yourself to other students, it's just counterproductive. They are not you.

No. 397465

Med school was too much for me and I knew I was going STEM path since elementary school. I went into a field of Engineering instead.
Keep trying but don’t be surprised if ir doesn’t work out.

No. 397468

Yeah - maybe consider going for a masters degree in microbiology - hard but not quite as hard. Soooo many people try med school and fail. It’s a noble aspiration but without a good background it will only get harder and harder as you go.
If i were you - I would have aimed for a bachelors degree in microbiology or organic chem and then,
if you feel like you have developed the skills, the knowledge, (and the work ethic) to tackle med school - go forward.

No. 397493

I bet you're nowhere as "stupid" as you think. Ever heard of impostor syndrome? I'm a lot like you and I can relate to a lot of your thoughts (although I'm not a med student), especially the feeling like you're the only dumbass who's struggling and everyone else seems to be doing just fine.

The thing is, those people are just better at coming off as confident and put together. I guarantee that if you got a peek into their personal lives, it's nowhere near as rosy as it seems from the outside. I've had a lot of experience going to competitive schools where everyone is haughty and full of themselves and all competing to get the best grades but half the time they're full of shit: lying about their good grades, lying about how little they studied, lying about how happy their life is, etc. Oh, and a lot of them cheat, too. I've heard med school can be a toxic environment sometimes so I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of thing goes on in your school as well.

(Also, >>397464 is right, European med schools are brutal, if you even got in and made it this far, you're definitely smart.)

No. 397501

Not really a vent i guess but i had a massive seizure at 7am from xanax withdrawal and i feel utterly stupid because it made me pass out and I'm amazed it didn't severely brain damage me or that i didn't die. I haven't had one since like 2016 i think and tbh i don't want yo die from an accident but my own hands and it's freaked me out. But bow i have to take more xanax to taper off instead of eating copious amount of them to forget my existence and i am dreading this because i have no self control and ugh

No. 397530

File: 1554995337760.jpeg (66.45 KB, 607x608, EEEB803B-BF67-4710-B7D3-1E4D73…)

my depression has come back in full swing and i have no idea where to go from here.

i don’t have energy to do anything productive besides the bare minimum schoolwork i can do in a day (i study from home) and doing basic stuff like washing my face and showering has become a huge struggle that i need to psych myself up for for hours before i can do it, if i even manage to do it.

my doctor recently had me switch meds and i think they may have something to do with it because this started shortly after i started taking them. but i can’t be sure that’s the reason.

all i do besides school stuff lately is lounge around, browse lolcow, do online shopping until i’m broke and watch youtube. it’s all so shallow and pointless and i have no idea what to do to get better because my motivation is dead.

No. 397547

I've been addicted to screens and devices for so long that it's like a permanent part of my personality. Please help I want to change.

No. 397552

I’ve struggled with eating in the past, but never this bad. I am pretty sure I am full blown anorexic now and it’s not fun anymore. It is impossible to feel good about myself and my brain is truly fucked.

No. 397565

i'm in love with this e-guy and i'm afraid my stupid ass is gonna hop on the next train down to where he lives if he ever gives me the go-ahead

No. 397566

I'm trying to find a decent laptop so I'm going through ebay to see if there are any decent deals there and holy shit is everything overpriced. I mean, for a refurbished or second hand laptop, just add $30 more and you can buy the same laptop but new.

What's the point of these listings? Who tf would buy that crap with 'only slight marks of use' when you can get a brand new one with a warranty just for a little bit more?

I'm also pissed off at sellers spamming gaming laptops and when you look at the specs it could barely run minecraft. I suppose the assume we're idiots that have no idea what's what.

No. 397570

Thanks anon, I really appreciate your help and kind words.

No. 397576

Highly recommend Thinkpads, you can find ones with great specs for super cheap and they're like fucking tanks. I got mine for only $150 (plus another $60 for a new screen because the stock ones are horrible) and I couldn't be happier with it, by far the best laptop I've ever had and also the cheapest.

It has 8 gigs of RAM, a good processor (socketed too, so I can upgrade if I want), and an SSD, so it's not like it's an utter piece of crap either. Does everything I need it to. And that was with me being on a super tight budget so if you're willing to spend $300 or so you could get something even better and newer.

They're also great because they have such a big community so if you ever need to replace or upgrade something you will always be able to find a guide or resources of some sort, no matter which model you have.

No. 397581

Thanks anon! Which Thinkpad model would you recommend? The thing is I'd like as much as a bigger screen as possible for doing illustrations and some graphic design work, but regardless I'd love to hear your opinion.

No. 397605

On second thought, could you just tell me which model you got?

No. 397607

I'm a big fan of the T440/T450 family (I personally use a T440p myself and I love it!), but they're only 14 inch screens, not sure if that's too small for you or not. I like the T450s a lot, I was this close to buying one but I decided I wanted a socketed CPU so I could upgrade later which the T450s doesn't have. The T450s also has a touchscreen option and I've heard it's really good, and that might be useful for graphic design type stuff. Depending on how good you want the specs to be you could get one for maybe $225-375, but if you really keep an eye out you could snag a better deal. (Not every T450s model has a touchscreen though so if that's important to you make sure the listing specifies that!)

If you'd prefer a bigger screen and don't mind spending some more money, then I'd recommend the T5xx family instead, they have 15.6 inch screens. They're also newer so they're a bit sleeker and more elegant than the T440/50, my laptop is an absolute brick (5 pounds, 1 inch thick) haha so if you also want something very portable then something like a T550 is the way to go. I'm looking on eBay right now and I see a lot of good models with great specs for about $400-450 or so. If you have a bigger budget you can also spring for the newer T560 if you'd rather have the latest model.

No. 397610

File: 1555008852057.jpg (157.9 KB, 1280x842, b2ffb711-c3ad-4eb8-889c-7e5b5e…)

I want to shave my head.

No. 397612

File: 1555009091790.jpg (27.19 KB, 634x483, 28377537_10209986616655414_490…)

Poverty is literally the reason of my depression. My life would be so normal and happy if I were born in even just a middle class family. Everything I want and need is so out of my reach, even though normal people my age can get it without any issue. I resent my parents for not aborting me everyday.

I'd like to move out, but first I need at least $2000 because I need some dental work I can't (of course) afford. But there's no way I can make that money here because there are no jobs. I can't move out until I get this done, because abroad it'd be three times more expensive, but I don't have money for it. I'm desperately trying to find a remote job, like customer support and stuff like that, but it's either US only (I'm in Europe, no UK) or they never get back to me. A week ago I got tested for a company, the only who liked my resume. They should get back to me in 1/2 weeks and I'm going to fucking cross my fingers that this works and I get this job because hell, can I just have some luck in my life? Can I just get to leave this shithole at least, and go somewhere else where I can have better chances? I'm so desperate I'd even do sex work at this point, I'd hate it but at least I'd have money for therapy and stuff.

No. 397619

I know that feel, I try not to compare myself to others but it's hard. Since you're in Europe can you get dental work reimbursed, at least partially? I know the system depends on countries themselves AND on your health insurance but I hope you can find a way to make it less expensive somehow.

>They should get back to me in 1/2 weeks

Tell us if you get the job.

No. 397624

Same anon, same. Are you from Eastern Europe by any chance? I started being a camwhore when I was only 18 and I don't recommend getting into sex work especially if you have issues with your self-esteem or you were poor for the majority of your life because it sucks you in and you won't see yourself having any prospects for an actual career or ever be able to see yourself as a respectable human being afterwards, especially because videos of you will stay up on the internet forever and real life sex work is even more risky and you'll probably end up addicted to drugs. As long as you're still mentally sound enough to get a real job do that, even if it might seem hard or not fulfilling financially it will be better than any kind of sex work in the long run.

No. 397625

File: 1555010355990.jpg (5.65 KB, 242x208, qtbirbs.jpg)

I can't thank you enough for all the information! Seriously, when you scout for a good laptop, most of it are paid adverts in form of reviews. It's a huge headache to just go through all of that while you nicely summed all I wanted to know.
I'll be definitely getting myself a Thinkpad and thanks to you I'll be able to decide which model would suit my needs the most.

I wish I could pay you a drink or something!

No. 397627

Haha no worries, I'm just glad I could help out and convert a fellow farmer to the glory of Thinkpads (and probably save a lot of money too)! Since I got my own I've been in awe of what I've missed out on all these years and I want to shout from the rooftops about how much I love these damn laptops. I can't believe how long I put up with shitty, overpriced, low-spec, dinky little laptops!

For more research I'd also recommend checking out the Thinkpad subreddit if you haven't found it already, there's a lot of good information there and it helped me out when I was doing my own research on what laptop to get!

No. 397628

Nope, in my country it's all on your shoulders, doesn't matter how poor you are.
>Tell us if you get the job.
I will!

Southern Europe. You're right, it's not a good choice especially for depressed people, and I'd be haunted at the thought of videos of me staying on the internet forever. The best option would be having some rich lady taking care of me for a little while. It all depends on how stable my situation will be in 6 months max.

No. 397629

File: 1555011117832.png (13.57 KB, 500x330, 4d4848fb-ecc8-4a7c-883e-37abe7…)

I'm a boundle of anxiety currently because I need to find a job but as usual no one even bothers to send a rejection e-mail. It's been 3 and a half months and so far I had 2 job interviews which both resulted in nothing.

I could probably get a job way faster if I applied to be a cashier or similar bit I suck at math so.fucking.bad, it's literally why I lost my first job, but the place also didn't have a "modern" cash register. I've seen some of the modern ones but I assume I'd still be required to do math in my head here and there which wouldn't end up good.

At this point I'm running out of options ffs

No. 397631

Thanks again, anon. You're doing God's work! I hope other anons see your posts and consider Thinkpads as well if they need a sturdy laptop.

No. 397636

In the same boat Anon; been looking for work since November. Had maybe four interviews since then, only offer was at a methadone clinic an hour away.

Increasingly despondent at finding any work within my field. Everyone seems to have gotten their jobs via internships in college, which leaves me out in the lurch.

Maybe I'll start asking for work when I do open mics. It's all who you know, Anon.

No. 397648

File: 1555015067225.jpg (483.75 KB, 1280x960, decorating-ideas-appealing-stu…)

Have you guys ever considered doing landscaping/summer horticultural work?
Obviously it requires physical labor but in all my years of working it, my crews have mainly been women.
You don't need a degree or much experience either, as they train on the job for whatever you'll be doing.
If you live in a temperate climate (UK, British Columbia, Netherlands) you can do it all year.

No. 397652

File: 1555015939418.jpg (145.11 KB, 1080x1262, 42931828_485470225295938_78730…)

I know it's childish, dumb, vain, whatever, but I'm so jealous of all these young girls who were born with perfect faces and bodies and get to be rich and famous on youtube or instagram solely because of that. Being born ugly is a curse, I have to work extra hard for literally everything.

No. 397653

That girl got a big ass nose tho

No. 397658

She's just one random example.
Also, most people outside of lolcow do find her pretty, otherwise she wouldn't have that many followers

No. 397660

I think I've only ever seen one job ad for something like this so I never considered. Sounds interesting tho, might actually look into it

No. 397661

Yeah, even with the nose the rest of her face fits the golden ratio ideal pretty well to make up for it.

No. 397662

Same problem here. I had this really tight group of friends in college about two years ago. Most of them I knew were more "school friends" than actual friends, but two of them I considered as really close to me and we would hang out every day for over a year.
Then all of a sudden, in like the span of a week, one of them completely detaches and we see them less and less until at one point we barely see her at all (it's been two months now).
When I confront her she says nothing has happened and makes it seem like I'm overreacting. But last year when my mother died she would not even come to the funeral when I invited her, with the reason "I don't really like funerals". Yeah no shit Sherlock, nobody likes funerals, but this is supposed to be a moment where you're there for your friends.
I really want to move on and accept that some people are just shitty, but for some reason I'm stuck. I still have no answers as to how things have changed this drastically and I can't get any closure. It really frustrates me, because I usually have a very strong grasp on how people are, but this is the first time in my life I've misjudged someones character and for some reason I just can't let that go and have her not be my friend.

No. 397663

What's her IG? I'm curious.

Breaking news: you can be pretty with a big nose

No. 397665

That's not true, you can be born pretty but suffer with anxiety/mental health issues or have a personality that's not considered generally likeable or go for a style that isn't popular, having a naturally pretty face is not the only thing that matters. Most of these girls aren't even that pretty to begin with, they just style themselves and edit their pictures.

No. 397667

shit like this is so annoying to read when you are legit ugly and with a visibly asymmetrical face lol. really reminds me of my gremlin-faced reality

No. 397670

Nta, @kennedyclairewalsh

I hate my big nose, i cant turn to the side cuz you can see the bump, cant look forward cut you see the huge tip, and the worst os when i smike it pulls downwards so i look like a witch

No. 397680

Yeah, but what if you're ugly and have all these problems on top of it?
I'm tired of pretty girls whining about being insecure or anxious while flaunting their beauty everywhere. People who really feel like shit can't do that.

No. 397688


I mean, you get free goods in the mail and some sponsorship money but rich is a push. They would maybe be making 20-35k a year. I look like one of these girls too but I want to make money using an actual skill. It's so vapid to earn money purely on your appearance. It doesn't encourage young women to learn skills and have careers, they are just glorified shop assistants. What happens when they are older and even fillers and surgery can't save them from looking plastic, or they get replaced by a new younger version of themselves. This type of job is fleeting because all people are seeing is a character, they don't even know the real names of these pretty girls they follow.

No. 397689

To add to that: because their identity is never part of the fame, meaning character, interests, skills, history - they are just a doll to sell products. There is no fan loyalty or desire to watch these people grow up and progress, since their only purpose is as a dress up doll. I can see it's easy money for a teenager or early 20s, but most people can't pull it off past 25. And none of their fans are following for them: only to see a dolly dress up in nice clothes.There are new Insta/internet dollies cropping up every day. It's not a career, it's just money for a short time, then they need to retrain because they will be forgotten as soon as they try and do anything else.

No. 397694

these comments aren't encouraging at all. insta 'dollies' can get much needed financial windfalls without becoming camgirls or whatever, which really fucking helps when you're poor with health issues, for example. obviously this kind of thing isn't sustainable, but even without the insta stuff (and i wouldnt even consider the insta stuff to be much of a plus), attractive women WILL be generally treated better than unattractive women. the thing is about being unattractive is that you can't get through the day without your appearance being brought up and being shamed for it. at least, i couldn't. you can't exist as an ugly girl. the world doesn't allow you to, so building a life, developing skills – just existing, is so much fucking easier when people aren't already shitting on you from the get go because you're unattractive

No. 397695

I'm totally math retarded and was fine in an independent movie theatre and at a fine dining restaurant! Both places were not chains and didn't have the most modern systems but I literally did no math the entire time.

No. 397698

nta but yeah, obviously, however they have the opportunities to make those 20-35 grand a year or just spending less on buying clothes because of their genetic luck essentially. may not be a lot depending on where you live but it's a nice extra money on top of an actual job you know? if they consistently keep it up for a couple years or so, they can accumulate pretty cushy savings out of thin air. not sure about you, but i wouldn't mind tripling my yearly income if only for a couple years just by posting selfies if i could lol, would make my life much easier. also all that >>397694 said.

No. 397700

not sure about your physical condition but have you tried warehouse jobs? most don't include that much manual lifting (like 30lbs at most) and there's def no maths involved. also no customer service angle is a nice bonus imo. good luck either way!

No. 397702

I don't understand this narrative from the right that conservative women are so hot while left women are super fat when it's just a statistical fact that there's a direct correlation between leftists and physical fitness and right wing with obesity. Ffs even if you just look at a map of which states have the most obesity, it's mostly red ones by a lot. Yeah, the celebrities like Tomi Lahren are attractive, but so are leftist celebrities like the majority of women in Hollywood. Yet they insist celebrities don't count.

Then again, I'm speaking as if these people pay attention to facts when they're no convenient to their fantasy world.

No. 397703

You bitches are so retarded and deluded to think being pretty will solve any of your self-esteem problems. I'm objectively pretty and I hate it because when you're pretty people hold you to a different standard, a higher standard. Since I was a child I've been made to think the best thing about me was being pretty and everyone would give me attention for my looks, that shit makes you self-conscious as fuck. When I started getting acne and everyone had acne I would get the most negative comments and I would get bullied the most because everyone expected me to be the "pretty" one, when I gained just a little amount of weight everyone would tell me I have gotten fat even if I wasn't. Now my looks have gone to shit because of mental illness, I compulsively pick my skin, eat unhealthy etc but I still get people telling me I should wear more makeup because my features are pretty but I just don't take care of myself. Being "pretty" literally gave me body dysmorphia. I bet most of the anons that complain about being ugly aren't even ugly at all they just spend time on social media all day and think all of those girls are for real, most of them are not. If you get into a certain niche and learn about angles and makeup you can be really fucking ugly but still have a following.

No. 397708

oh fuck off, honestly. the difference is that you're held to having potential, while ugly women are shamed constantly for being seen as having none and being worth nothing and are constantly abused for JUST EXISTING. you're denigrated 10000000x more when you're perceived to have NOTHING of value to society. you're treated like a contemptible parasite no matter what you do. you act like no ugly girls have eating disorders or mental health issues. newsflash: they develop these issues ON TOP of the fact that they're unattractive. please stop trying to make it seem as if you having issues means ugly girls don't have them + issues you will never experience. ugly girls are still pressured to look pretty and be pretty and are treated terribly for not meeting that expectation. it's the same thing as what you experience, except they actually have no chance of meeting those expectations, even if they diet or go on accutane.

No. 397710

oh boo fucking hoo cry me a river, if you literally think your life is so hard because you WERE pretty and now you arent you prove exactly why ugly girls are treated like such shit. YOU cant even accept falling below the threshold of "goodlooking", but obviously being ugly isnt even real right, which is why youre shitting yourself over finally having to experience it. uh have you ever maybe considered you eat like shit and look like shit because you NEVER had to control every aspect of your life to gain even the smallest ounce of respect from your peers? maybe if you actually had to previously even bother trying, you wouldnt be stuck blaming everyone else for whatever the fuck problems you have now. maybe if you werent constantly "getting attention!" for how you looked, youd have some sense on how to make yourself look better, but no lets blame uglies because YOU never had to take care of yourself properly until now. if you hate yourself so much try not to flex throughout your entire post.

No. 397711

I never said ugly people don't have issues but a lot of people just fetishize being pretty as it would make their life so much better, being pretty can just bring in a lot of issues itself. People think when you're pretty you can't suffer, I would give it all away if I could honestly because it only brought me issues plus I didn't deserve to be born "pretty" because I don't take care of myself. I wish I could give my body and face to people who think it would make their life better because everyone thinks being pretty will make your life better, it won't and ironically it might make your life even more miserable. When you're pretty people tend to just see you as a fucking object, when you're pretty people expect you to keep yourself to the highest standard imaginable because they only see your appearance and automatically that's what's most valuable about you, if you get a pimple on your face you'll get double the negative reactions you would get if you were ugly or average. When you're ugly or average and make a small positive change about your appearance you'll get double the amount of praise you would get already being pretty.

No. 397712

File: 1555028979827.jpeg (61.37 KB, 567x553, D3gZ-SPWwAEJN5_.jpeg)

I'm fucking back and frustrated bc new trailer for Euphoria dropped and the one TIME I could see my favorite actress play a lesbian her character is dating a TIM. fuck me

Is this gonna be a new trend of black actresses playing gay characters who date white TIMs cos ion fucking want it.

Give me real lesbians

No. 397713

None of what you said has anything to so with specifically being pretty. It's because you're a woman.

No. 397716

>Being ugly is so much better because you get way more praise than pretty people do when you look good! Unlike me, a real beauty, which I can confirm because of the enormous amounts of praise I get for looking good

No. 397717

>if you get a pimple on your face you'll get double the negative reactions you would get if you were ugly or average. When you're ugly or average and make a small positive change about your appearance you'll get double the amount of praise you would get already being pretty.
this is delusional.

>People think when you're pretty you can't suffer,

nobody thinks this

>When you're pretty people tend to just see you as a fucking object,

all women experience this. ugly girls are treated as objects to use and abuse, for example, "Pull the pig is a ‘game’ or prank were people play and even to hook up with the least attractive person they get sometimes they even make the person fall for them and “pull them” to another state or country and leave them hanging.". you're treated like a wanted object, and ugly girls are treated as unwanted objects – as trash. junk with no feelings and are actively hated for simply existing. being objectified is shit but at least at the end of the day you can exist without being hated or without people trying to sabotage you simply because you're ugly and don't 'deserve' to be alive, as a result

No. 397718

Wow why are you so mad at me did I rustle your jimmies because I said prettiness can bring in problems in your life while you lived all your life thinking being prettier would solve your issues? I just wanted to point out how being born pretty can bring in issues into your life. I have periods of time when I don't take care of myself because I can't do it, I'm not blaming anyone for it. I'm also not interested in most of the mainstream trends and I don't really wear makeup that much. I'm not constantly trying to improve my looks because I have started to focus on other aspects of my life and on other aspects of myself as an individual.
Our society is obsessed with lookism and being ugly or pretty can bring in issues because you'll get unnecessary attention in both cases, when you're pretty you'll get hold to a higher standard and get judged more harshly if your looks somehow degrade in any way, when you're ugly you'll just get negative attention generally but if you make small changes in your appearance you can get praise much easily. For me being pretty was not an enjoyable experience, I would give it away to any of you anons that are obsessed with your looks and think being born pretty can only mean a privilege when it is a privilege and a curse at the same time.

No. 397719

so you hate ugly people because youre pretty but also you hate ugly people because youre ugly. lol get some help.

No. 397724

I don't hate anyone. I just wanted to point out how lookism is wrong and being pretty can just bring in issues into your life, while most people only consider it a huge privilege.

No. 397725

File: 1555029986151.gif (1.4 MB, 540x405, 7a92b3f0-c626-437f-b73c-0907fb…)

Make sure you check out the actual landscaping companies in your city area, too.
A lot of them won't put up ads, but if you email their company personally, you can find many more opportunities to work with them (and you get a better idea of what kind of work they do, ie. Residental, city work, industrial)

No. 397729

diff anon but are you being retarded on purpose or are pretty people indeed incapable of any complex thought? just bc my ugly self will get a pity compliment from a friend if i put on a dress once, doesn't mean that they mean it or that anyone will respect me more or think i'm prettier.

how come all these bitches that love to preach how your appearance has nothing to do with anything in life at all whatsoever and and they don't even care about appearances really, only about ~self improvement~ and whatever also happen to be conventionally attractive with no effort kek. all the woes of being an attractive woman are the product of being a woman versus ugly women get that AND so much more shit on top of it all.

No. 397730

I have never actually seen a girl or woman I would describe as "ugly", and the worth you describe the attractive women having is 100% because society encourages us to be pretty fuckholes for men. It isn't "real" worth because there is an implication of also being a fuckhole, or even making money being merely a fuckhole. People treating attractive girls well because of the perceived potential to empty the contents of their ballsacs into you is, uh less satistfying than it may seem from afar. If a woman is hated for being "ugly" (again, ugly women don't exist/I have never seen a woman I thought was ugly
) it's really because they are seen as no good as a fuckhole. You see the connection? I don't think that's anything to be jealous of. Be a good person, learn a trade, have a good career, have good relationships with friends and family.
The fact our society is full of literal idiots who judge value based on availability to fuck is nobody's problem except the idiots. Being treated badly or well based on appearance are two sides to the same stupid coin.

It isn't real respect, it's not true value, they don't see the pretty woman as any more valuable, just more potential to ejaculate in her. Please don't be jealous of this wonderful "gift" granted to the more attractive people. Also the female admiration that spawns off the male "approval" is exactly as shallow. The idea anyone can make money from their looks is false. It's paid for by corporations, that's exactly why they sponsor women to be vapid "models" for their shit. It makes normal women feel bad about themselves, and buy the shit. Same thing they have always done. There is no actual societal value in being attractive. It's an illusion created specifically to create emotional responses, see thread and make money for a bunch of actually ugly old men, who are delighted they can push the little girls' buttons so easily.

No. 397737

it absolutely is something to be jealous of as it gets you more advantages in life. sure it is for reasons of male depravity but as that isn't gonna change anytime soon, there's nothing to be done about it; similarly as for capitalism being the leading economic model, and being pretty will make your life much easier under these conditions. it is very sweet of you that you think ugly women don't exist but unfortunately not everyone is you and in fact, most people are some degree of "idiots who judge value based on availability to fuck" and there's a difference between subjective beauty standards, such as yours, and conventional beauty standards, such as those of the "idiot" majority.

No. 397738

>It isn't "real" worth because there is an implication of also being a fuckhole, or even making money being merely a fuckhole. People treating attractive girls well because of the perceived potential to empty the contents of their ballsacs into you is, uh less satistfying than it may seem from afar. If a woman is hated for being "ugly" (again, ugly women don't exist/I have never seen a woman I thought was ugly. it's really because they are seen as no good as a fuckhole. You see the connection?
>I don't think that's anything to be jealous of. Be a good person, learn a trade, have a good career, have good relationships with friends and family.
>The fact our society is full of literal idiots who judge value based on availability to fuck is nobody's problem except the idiots. Being treated badly or well based on appearance are two sides to the same stupid coin.
i can't roll my eyes hard enough at this. do you actually think i was saying that men actually respect and value you as people? because i never said that and i was never under the impression that men truly respect pretty women. i don't give a fuck who men actually respect, what i care about is being able to get through the day and just EXIST without being tormented and abused. do you know what a relief it would feel for ugly girls who can't just get through school or work without being harassed for being 'worthless'? it's not about being hurt by mens internal value system – it's about actually being mistreated regularly. do you have any idea how difficult that makes life? no, obviously not, because you keep bringing this back to "they don't actually respect me!", like that's a similar fate to being harassed and made to feel like a literal leper while just trying to get through the day. obviously it all comes down to sexual utility, but it still makes it a SHITLOAD easier getting through life when you're not being treated poorly for just being ugly, and when you're getting more job offers and opportunities because the halo effect means people automatically like you without you having to say a single word. and it's not just men. older women are so much nastier to ugly girls.

No. 397740

Are you incapable of having empathy towards people that posses an attribute you think would have made your life better? Yes, when you're a woman you'll get shit no matter what and being pretty is considered a privilege because you will get attention from men, but is that truly what you want? You can be pretty even if you don't fit the beauty standard the society has, you can be pretty by improving yourself and by accepting yourself, yes you can accept and love yourself even if you're ugly and that's when your reflection in the mirror will become beautiful because you won't see an empty vessel anymore, you won't just see a body, you will see yourself for who you are and you will shine in the eyes of other people too because that's when you'll have self-confidence. It amazes me how people think accepting yourself and loving yourself just the way you are is a meme when actually constantly striving to be conventionally attractive and beautiful is the real meme here. I get you were all bullied and judged based on the way you look and you bought into the idea that if you were born pretty your lives could have been much better, but it's not true at all because if you had the same mentality you have now you would still feel unsatisfied with yourselves but if you actually want to be a normie tier pretty looking vain instagram model maybe you all deserve to suffer because of your looks. I wish more women would post different styles on Instagram, I like seeing diversity and uniqueness and different types of faces.

No. 397741

your posts read like a mother fucking copypasta. if you really felt that way in the first place than you wouldnt have come in here scapegoating your hatred onto people not as "pretty" as you. thank you we realize society enables standards, you dont need to good-looking-girl educate us on the hardships women face as if you face them tenfold because "oh but im pretty and its so hard for me. did i mention im pretty?"