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Previous thread: >>313147
Next thread: >333878https://lolcow.farm/kiki
ALL OF KIRSTEN'S POSTS: https://lolcow.farm/all-posts-kiki.html
The rumors are true: Kiki Kannibal / Kirsten Ostrenga is Sperg-chan.
Kiki made almost 2,500 lolcow posts, most of them targeting Taylor R. Her rampage began on June 16, 2016, the day Taylor announced she got a new Japanese boyfriend. About 1,900 of those posts were spam and gore.
We investigated carefully and determined that she was the sole Sperg-chan; at least during June and July 2016. Reports of similar posters past then were found not to be her. We took so long because we wanted to be 100% sure in our findings. She used several hundred IP addresses to try to mask her identity. In fact, she would often quickly switch IPs to point at previous posts she made and say "check my IP, I'm not her". She is the most dedicated and obsessive samefag in lolcow history.
Please read https://lolcow.farm/kiki
for all of the details and links to her posts. Her posts have all been marked as well, though she also has around 1,900 deleted posts which you can only see from the links in https://lolcow.farm/kiki
. Evidence is at the bottom of the post.
We encourage all farmers to help make new Kiki banners or any Kiki-related art they'd like.
Here is a list of some of her best tweets, if you'd like to work any of those in: http://pastebin.com/zNKurkzf
All the other useful lists are at https://lolcow.farm/kiki
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hope they don't find these
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holy. shit. she's doing something with herself? that isn't lame selfies and posting about her vegan elf goddess self?
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It's like the first time we seen her without extreme brightness filters.
Idk about Dreadcentral but Full Moon distributes horror films like the Puppet Master series.>>323245
I had the exact same reaction.
She has finally proved us wrong.>>323247
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It was linked in the last thread.
And I would like to point out some of Full Moons Features are adult themed. I am looking to see if I can find the movie Kiki is in.
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'Model' for a horror channel is one of the lowest 'professional' jobs you can get. She's on a zero budget job in her underwear: maximum cringe.
Kiki you're never gonna make it.
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> when you channel your crazy into "acting"
fuck my sides
Holy fuck, I ignored this post because I thought it was posted for "looking a bit like Kiki".
……It's basically Kiki vs. Taylor's bf. This is scary as fuck. It's the perfect representation of Kiki herself, how fucking ironic isn't this?
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Then u got koots all like
those braids are too thin to be anyone but her>>323308
holy fuck kill it with fire
She'll probably end up in one those soft core porn D-list cheesy screamer "horror" movies.
Doesn't Dakota like horror movies/want to get into acting? Lol. Maybe this is why they unfollowed each other.
she probably lowered her expectations when she realized she wasn't going to get something more glamorous and settled for what she can get.
it's pretty funny recalling all that bragging about being scouted in LA and Japan. i think i read once that she said she was offered a reality show but refused. and that she was chosen to be on america's next top model, but something about animals, so she refused.
She was only 13~14 and he was an adult. Kiki was the victim. >>323340
Those guys are well known assholes too. It's not like everything is Kiki's fault.
I'm sick of that old shit.
Now back to topic: >>323338
Yeah obviously she is taking any job opportunity now, she has to start from the bottom, just like everyone else does.
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Her limbs are so gangly and jerk so awkwardly. Reminds me of a witch off left4dead.
Also don't forget about her failed fling with Fangophilia during her first Tokyo sex tour.
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Hahaha oh wow.
Nooooo not Puppet Master.
She hasn't mentioned this at all. I'm surprised.
go back and look at how she looks in that video. do you think she'd upload this to her instagram >>323300
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And here's her IMDB.
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well at least we have proof she's lurking still?
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She can delete and lock down her accounts, but her coworkers won't!
The "company" producing the filmhttps://twitter.com/fullmoonhorror
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because she's a disgusting wretched person. if she hadn't been sperging out on here I could've agreed with you. but no.
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p sure this is a celebrity isn't it? so it is LA?
uh, that's Willem DeFoe. Not some random celeb, a pretty famous actor.
Possible she caught hm for a photo in LA but she seems the type to hound a celeb for a photo anywhere… which is really bad form if yu live in LA and especially if you're trying to break into the business. Shit's annoying and cringe. So, of course she did it.
don't worry anon Kiki already ruins everything herself
we just sit back and laugh
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Kiki's co-star is, of course, another annoying vegan twit
She's found her kind: the bottom feeders of LA who smell their own farts
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you mean like this
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She was hanging out with kaka
This is great and a totally new Lilou era of horror movies.
So maybe I was right,
"Kiki kannibal" is finally over.
But please people don't spam her new accounts with links and shit, don't fucking scare her, what happened with Taku the last time was lame, BEHAVE.>>323451
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so, i was lucky enough to leave her instagram open on a tab before she privated it. so here's another thing
Isn't it kind of stupid of her to use photos of herself she posted as Kaka? You can reverse Google them and that would've probably brought up her other accounts. Someone could've thought she was catfishing even.>>323461
Do you think that people she works with are going to give a shit? It's a culture of looking the other way and ignoring how shitty people are. Mel Gibson's career should be completely damaged yet he's still finding work and he threatened his baby mama.
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omg dat profile
She's such a cringe theater kid
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Now this is GOLD.
Taylor drama was like the best Halloween, but THIS, this is Christmas. >>323478
This. I am also cringing at the fact that she put a cat face on him and blurred it. That is really fucking bizarre and autistic. And disrespectful as fuck
Oh Kiki LA is gonna fuck you up in more ways than one.
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She looks good in this one.
Hair, makeup and style..
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this is so dumb. all of those photos have been sitting on her kikikannibal instagram, twitter, youtube, and even website for years.
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meh. i was thinking the same, but then again
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Guys. She actually took acting classes for this shit.https://www.instagram.com/p/BJr0zzqjLvu/
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Now we know what Taylor's nightmares are like, I guess.
>>323523>I'm a CaT xD xD Lollolololol nyaAaA~
Is there some pic of Tay looking surprised/scared? this is banner material
Hum yeah, and please understand that you are not here to scare them or make their lives miserable. Her accounts are private now, I agree with anon: don't fucking ruin it.
What she did to Taylor was stupid, and her comments are marked, but this job is a positive thing, don't make her have a melt down again like the time idiots harassed Taku.
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she used the same text as here
Cept Taku ain't a public figure but the director and actors all are. That's the distinction. I'm not suggesting anyone do anything but they will find out sooner or later. All it takes is a fan tweeting one of them how much they love Kiki's greatest hits… and the rest will be a Google click away
Actors have lost their careers for much less.
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Is that her phone number lol rip if someone as crazy as her sees it
Kek. I wonder if she is playing the character "Leech Woman". She's wearing black, she slithers across the bed, and her hand is full of syringes for sucking blood….
Please. Let her be Leech Woman.
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was taken in Valencia 17 weeks ago so she was definitely in California at some point
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That wink is tragic but what's with the dude in the middle
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the top is transparent
Her huge forehead and shnoz, her new stupid name, LA bottom feeders who are one booking away from being homeless, Dafoe getting groceries and having cat shit pasted on his face, the stupid lace top thing, EVERYTHING IS CHRISTMAS!!!>>323462>>323514
That you keeks?
Kek stay paranoid. >>323493
Did you see the caption of this picture?
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LEL SHE'S ALERTING PEOPLE SHE'S CONNECTED WITH>>323493>>323561https://www.instagram.com/bobbyhatanaka/
is him. His account WAS public until sometime in the last hour. I didn't see any evidence of them being a couple, but didn't take caps.
Jesus. Some people are happy because she is finally doing something new, milk is great. Stop with the *dat u Kiki~?* NO >>323564
Lol! when you see it… >>323566
I was sure he wasn't Jack Cash, he looked nothing like him tbh.
right? it's too strange, and she seems to be stealing the thread currently. it's like the kirleos thing all over again.
I wonder what she tells these people when she tells them to others their accounts. wouldn't it be an odd request?
stalking* this thread
private* their accounts
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Signed by the dairy princess herself. Christmas comes but once a year. What a time to be alive.
She is finally doing it right:
>Change your "Kiki kannibal" name >Get a job>Move from your parents house >Attend classes or do something new >Make friends or at least go outside>>323584
Is that her grandmother's name?
I remember she said that she looked like her French grandmother in an old video, she also mentioned her first name.. maybe that's her grandmother's name.
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>lolcow complains that keeks has no job/life and lives in the past
>keeks gets a job and starts to attempt to separate from her shitty online persona and acting less crazy
>now lolcow tries to make fun out of her having a job and trying to get her shit together.
It's a shitty gig, but it's a gig. Good on her.
Now, it's time to do the same as we did with our queen. Let her soar off to sanity. Looks like keekweek affected her enough, time to let it go for now. I really do hope she gets her shit together, while I will miss the entertainment she provided.
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Another still from the trailer.
Give her some credit, this is nice actually, Puppet Master movies are a classic.
I get what you're saying, and it makes sense. But she's still pissing around being an exhibitionist narc. Except this time there are cameras instead of her phone. This isn't going to humble her like an ACTUAL job where she has to learn a skill and work hard like a normal functioning person.
It's still just all for the internet, for glory. It's superficial, just like she is. This "actress" thing is just going to stunt her even more. She's a horrible person who cannot see beyond the inside of her own asshole. So I hope she fails.
If she actually left the internet then I'd be rooting for her - but she hasn't, and she never will.
Good for her for getting a role in a long running successful franchise. She's still a miserable cunt of a person who has continually tried to dodge her past. We can laugh at her all we want.
Yeah the Puppet Master movies were once great but they hit a point where the quality fell apart and this trailer proves it. Still gonna watch tho.
>>323610>But she's still pissing around being an exhibitionist narc.
She didn't brag about this new job and it's actually something nice.
This is exactly what anons were wishing her, now like anon said Let her soar off to sanity
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Hi A-Log!>But she's still pissing around being an exhibitionist narc
She has her shit on private, she hasn't tweeted funny shit in ages. How's this either of those?>This isn't going to humble her like an ACTUAL job where she has to learn a skill and work hard like a normal functioning person.
Someone has never worked a set in their life, if this is her first set she will be humbled to hell and back. Most sets have 12 hours day on the regular.>>323613 has the right idea of what she's going through right now. She's getting a homerun on being brought back down to earth.
>If she actually left the internet then I'd be rooting for her - but she hasn't, and she never will.
SHE BASICALLY HAS, now if you are saying she shouldn't have ANY online presence, you're just as nuts as she is. For a socially awkward no name girl like her, there's no way she would get any work with no social media presence. You're asking the impossible from her, which isn't fair or sane.>>323611>She's still a miserable cunt of a person who has continually tried to dodge her past
What should she do then, she hasn't deleted her old presence really, she's just no longer so active. I understand her here totally, she has done so much stupid shit it's easiest just to lay low and when it comes up address it lowkey.
Is it possible? Yes, but until a farmhand or other confirms this, you're full of shit and being a vendetta-chan.
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I suspect she paid to be in it…
I see >>323618
beat me to it.
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Well, hopefully some farmers will actually appreciate the new Keeks content we were all blessed with today. All of this bleeding heart bullshit is annoying as fuck.
That top just screams "I'm an attention whore"
No one in LA dresses like that unless it's to go clubbing. She's so out of her mind
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>SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH ME AND WISHES HER WELL FOR TRYING TO FIX HER LIFE>FUCKING ASSLICKERS, MUST BE KIKI
Might wanna read these.https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Weeninghttps://sonichu.com/cwcki/A-Logging
You guys are the Kiki equivalent of A-Log. Congratulations, that's really sad.
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I'm stanning her because she's trying to improve her life and due to the hypocrisy here. I was all in when making fun out of her when she was being pathetic and didn't even attempt to get to places. But it seems that for once she's not being lazy and whoring off everything she does. First complaining that she never does anything and then complaining when she finally does something is ridiculous.
She's clearly trying to change, because this behavior is unheard of her. Like mentioned, she samefags, she is at times psychotic, she has lost touch with reality, she's narcissistic and whores off every little achievement. The fact she for once hasn't done those is a big deal. All I'm saying, (this is my fourth post in this thread I believe), is that making fun out of her and demonizing her for trying to get her shit together is a dickhead move and sad.
Calling her average and kind of haggard irl doesn't belong to this scope, she really is both.
Now, if she goes and fucks up or her having shut up is due to an NDA or due to other outside powers, she hasn't changed and I'm all in again. I'm giving her the benefit of doubt, if she's trying to move on from being an idiot.>>323641
Could be, but accusing everyone disagreeing with you of being kiki is retarded.
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Kiki or Kikistan please stop with the black people gifs. It's cringey af. >>323580
She kinda reminds me of Olga from 50 first dates . Pic related
It's a sponsored ad anon>>323598>AND LET THE PUPPETS LOOSE>TOTAL TERROR
lel sounds just like the last shitposting rampage
She hasn't plastered her new puny achievement all over the internet because she knows all the shitty things she have done and said will come to bite her in the ass, not because she wanted to change and be humble.
Just look at the date she made that lilou vos twitter and the sperging rampage against taytay dates.
Of course, kaka couldn't get in that job by her own merit>>323665
and she picked the most autistic of them all.
Someone posted a screen of a sponsored ad, which means it came up in their feed. You can't really force yourself to get an ad unless you're the one running the account.
I'm the anon who googled the ad and found the link.>>323604
Classic ostrenga. Buy followers. Buy roles. I also don't get why that one anon keeps trying to praise kaka and kota with oudated pics unless it's them. As if the sperging and stalking of Taylor never happened. We're not that fickle.
Seriously who are all these salty anons? It's like they haven't read previous threads where we were saying she should do something with her life, and she finally did it. >>323632>dont forget what she did to taylor and others guys
"Other guys" Dude do you really care about those ASSHOLES? Hypocrite.
Anons created another Tay thread here to discuss #daddysmoney and #fillers, admin confirmed it wasn't Kiki again, those idiots didn't care at all about the whole Kiki sperg-chan drama. Now you are all like Oh don't forget about Tay!
Tay gave a response and moved on, do the same. >>323637
Stay paranoid. Different anons are telling you to stop saying "Hi Kaka" to every anon that doesn't agree with you.
Wow… good for her for getting a job but… can we take a second to look at how AWFUL she fucking looks without instagram filters etc?
This girl carries herself as though shes a model and super gorgeous online when in reality she's… fucking average at best, ugly at worst…
Who are all these white knights? Do you not realize that at the exact time she started up this new personality she was spamming this board with gore porn as the culmination of her jealousy that Taylor got an azin BF and she can't keep a man?
Christ, get ahold of yourselves.
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Check her "demo reel" where she has a bunch of text laid out. Its the exact same sit she spammed this board with. Apparently, that kind of spam is her go to when her feelings aren't reciprocated by her asian targets.
Because look at her self-made videos. Bitch is a cow. If you didn't think she was pretty, or if she looked more blatantly ugly and abused filters less, you would consider he Chris-chan 2.0 or on the same level of pixyteri…
the only reason you are whiteknighting her "errrrmaaaagawdddd shes pretty", which isn't even true. Now that we have real photos of her here, it makes all her crazy antics five times more hilarious too.
Salty people commenting things like >I dont support either sister. I hope their careers flop tbh
Sad bitches.. >>323712
Yeah: Hypocrite. >>323721
Criticize her looks all you want, that's not what anons are arguing.
This. I wonder if admin can run an IP check for these new posts to see where they come from? Kaka could be evading the ban now that she moved(?) to other state. >>323710
Her mom has a very distinctive writing style, it can't be her.
You need to be 18 to be here. >>323713
You are new. >Who are all these white knights?
The same anons that followed the drama for a long time. We always told her what to do and she finally does something nice. Sarah changed many aspects of her lifestyle and got some support, she is still lulzy, but no one wishes her any harm, now we are giving Kiki some credit.
>Do you not realize that at the exact time she started up this new personality she was spamming this board..
No one forgot that, this is a different issue. >>323726
Lol you are a cow too. You say this every time you find a comment you disagree with.
>>323728>>You are new.
Try again. Just because people won't jump on your new "omg so coool kiki actress!" train doesn't make them new or young.
Christ, when did the farms go so fucking soft on the cows? Congrats dipshits, you're making the big beaked toucan's day.
Yeah its very possible it being Mama Kannibal being spergchan. I wonder if some of the IPs that were changed were from Kiki's new location.>>323706>>323710>>323728
I am not sure why theae anons are jumping up Kiki's ass. I think when we encouraged Kiki to change and do something with her life we meant go work at an animal shelter not be an actress in B adult horror films. The fact she decided to pursue acting shows she hasnt changed a bit. She is still an attention seeker. No way will she make it as an actress. This is comical watching her try. The people excited to see her do something with her life is just as delusional as Kiki.
Kaka was definitely sperg chan. Sperg chan has her sense of humor, uses the same emojis she does, and types the same way she does.
Also I'm pretty sure she didn't move until around September since that's when she started taking selfies in that blue room. The first pics she took when she came back definitely look like they were taken in her room in Florida.
I agree with everything else you said. I don't think she's changed one bit either. I don't get how someone could think she has when she's still clinging onto her Kiki Kannibal accounts. I feel like if anyone else was in her situation and wanted a fresh start, they would've deleted those accounts a long time ago.
She's a fucking idiot regardless and I have no shred of sympathy for her. She's not changed at all. >>323724
How are we salty? Dakota basically does fuck all in Japan now apart from be Hiroshi's cum cushion and Kaka has been in one piece of shit commercial. They're both bitches from a nasty family and they deserve to both go down the toilet together.
One commercial or ad whatever doesnt mean shit all in this day and age. It takes A LOT to make it and most who try becoming big always flop or go into porn anyway.
Get over yourself
you know the same thing happened with Felice. the freelicers constantly shat on her for not having a job and being useless, and when she finally tried to get one, they called the employers nonstop to try to ruin it for her.
tbh, if kiki never came back from that long break she had, if she never sperged, if she actually killed off "kiki kannibal" by deleting every account associated with it. all of her threads would be long dead and she would have had a better chance at reinventing herself.
No they didn't make her wear that top. She's just a tacky bitch and always has been. Wtf are you high. What a dumb question>>323777
So leave then ?
newsflash: just in case you didn't know, Kaka is an ungrateful paranoid bitch who block and delete random legit followers, so no, she won't give a fuck about (neither will thank you for) your support and whiteknighting here.
Anyways, enjoy your stay.
Well, not me.
Still a classic. And everyone here is going to watch it anyway. >>323598>>323791
Kek those sounds and Kiki's scream LOL cheap horror movies are fun.
First I was like.. is this really Kiki? kiki screams
Ok, this is Kiki.
if she actually changed she would get a real job and not live off other people like the leech she is
acting in d-list movies that no one will ever see for barely $100 a gig is not a job. i would have more respect for her if she either went to school or just got a 9-5 job. she is just trying to live easy mode and avoid doing REAL work yet again.
those creepy old men are probably sponsoring her in LA, because she sure as shit didnt make enough money off of this puppet movie. it's fucking disgusting that white knights are actually applauding her for this lol. when people told her to "get a real job" this isnt what they meant lol
She is fucking hideous. I mean lots of girls photoshop, like Dakota and Taylor and Felice, but this is the first time I've actually seen someone who looks SIGNIFICANTLY worse than their shoops. Dakota and Taylor look meh, and Felice looked average but not as pretty as her photoshops.
But kiki? Holy shit… she looks… SO fucking bad… she must seriously spend a day photoshopping everything. She looks so old and haggard, and homely. Her hair is so greasy and thin and her receding hair line is practically at the top of her head. Her arms and thighs are so skinny fat and flabby. Her entire face is covered in premature sagging and folds. Her outfits look so cheap.
The illusion has been completely shattered. I guess the white knights want to bury the fact that this bitch is fucking ugly.
I don't know who she is kidding. She probably worked for free in that movie. LA is littered with girls who look like young, fit, teenaged supermodels. Most of them turn to porn or prostitution. The idea that someone would pay this girl to act pretty in a movie is very, very unlikely.
Plus, Kiki and Dakota will never truly be famous because neither of them will ever really apologize for or acknowledge everything they have done and still
do that is shitty and stupid.
Plus, idk how Kiki thinks he can get famous without lolcow noticing. Does she just think she can pull a Kim Kardashian and fuck her way into fame so big nobody will bring up her past again? That will literally never happen. Her and Kota's Internet childhood (and the Spergchan saga) are going to follow them forever. It's Scott and Cathy's fault for not pulling them off the Internet when they were kids and teaching them that the opinion she of strangers and fame mean more than education and social skills. That's why they're failures, because white trash raises white trash.
>>323765>Proof Dakota was dating an actor
Reach harder Kiki because that never happened. Dakota isn't sill signed to Bravo without working unless she's sleeping with someone in the company. They turn away legit high fashion models with real portfolios, yet they keep her fat, balding butt with her yellow teeth and greasy hair. Yeah, I'm sure they just keep her and sponsee her visa (which costs them money BTW) because she went viral on YouTube four years ago
Bitch how naive can you be?
soz but I can completely imagine the media painting them as wild child it girls, victimised by endless online harassment.
it would be horrible to see but it wouldn't be a hard task at all
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The amount of arguing about the two sisters lately is insane …
Personally I think it's good that she's doing something other then spamming here. the movie doesn't look all that great, but I can't really expect her to land a a list horror flick. I'm going to assume this little project is done and now she's back to having nothing… I wonder what her next move will be ? I'd say burning down lolcow but it seems anons are doing that for her by arguing amongst one another.
nah, it could still happen, the media does what it likes, think about the amount of mediocre popstars that are hyped into existence…think about hillary clinton.
that phase of time when the world is super PC is passing, everything they've done up until now, good or bad, can just be marketed as their edgy past
?? I hardly post in these threads or even contact kiki. how is it "salt"
I just see her face in photoshopped pictures in the OP and then her irl. she's a fugly troll. you sound like the salty one
I have to agree. I'm not big on commenting on appearance but this bitch shits on everyone's minor "flaws" like they're a deformity yet she has to PS herself to hell and back.
And holy fuck, those movies suck ass so bad, they need to be crowd funded.
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>"Her body is disgusting"
>"She looks old"
>her fucking eye bags/tear trough wrinkles
People so triggered by actress Kiki LOL salty cunts everywhere, this is hilarious! How a beautiful white Keekmas, look at my salt angel.
Way to sage your shitpost.>>323856
Seconded, I'd say summerfags but it's christmas and so we're faced with the fact that either Kiki is posting all over the place - saying the EXACT SAME SHIT she was before she spammed the gore porn, "oh you guys she's over it no milk she's moved on you're salty" - or there are some desperate PULLfags washing up on shore.
Get it together, farmers. We're here to document and laugh. Get in, or get out.
that timing is one sad fact. I wonder how much of her sperg was triggered
by wanting to get talk about her and koots off lolcow pre the film's release too. girl needs to own her crazy and just get on with it.
You mean Dakota, her only friend.
Fuck, I'm sick of all you demented anons thinking that every post that is in agreement/disagreement with another is the same anon. >Not defending Kaka but just because she's involved doesn't mean the series is all bad. You're bitching about them being shit and talking about horror like every fan of the genre likes mainstream horror only.
No bitch, if you want to read into a benign comment, go ahead, but I never stated that.
I will give you the crowd funding comment though, as I can admit that idk why it requires it in the first place, but those movies are fucking trash, I'm sure even their shitty "loyal" fans can see that.
You're trying way too hard.
Like why are you so salty that nobody else wants to drink the kool-aid after being aware of this new development that could possibly just be a purchased, fleeting opportunity to be in a straight to video crappy movie? Especially after she just finished being caught being sperg-chan?
Shit does nothing to prove that's she isn't still a dumb POS of a person whilst pretending to be an ethereal peace loving indigo child.
This is fucking retarded and your reading comprehension fails. Both posts were about how bad the movies "suck" which no shit, the entire genre is saturated with cheesy flicks that suck by most standards. Stop trying to be an internet tough guy with your profanity laden incoherent posts and move on.>>323885
No one asked you, Rima.
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The interest was that she can buy a small role in it for a mere 5k. And 6 people did, according to the indiegogo page.
Rima chan is here~
I can feel her rage in the air >>323892
This only demonstrates the acting skills of actress lilou.
~ Sweet girl
~ Lunatic bitch
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>>323888>Internet tough guy on an anon board
Right. Cause I'm getting mad props for being "tough". How about you stop being a sensitive pussy that's shocked over strong language and let a discussion evolve?
K, so you're going to tell me what I meant? I'm done shitting up the thread by arguing with your dumbass—–and with that, I apologize for such autism farmers.
Can you fucking read?
She's doing promotion with the lead actress, she's featured in the trailer, she filmed a commercial for their streaming service as the character. I don't see five other people doing those things, do you?
Not this one >>323906
I just like trying to irritate Rima whenever she pops up.
Rima's just real easy to spot around here and she's twice as easy to stir up.>>323922
Well if the timing is correct she was spamming chopped dicks and calling Taylor a flabby cunt while working on the movie.
sounds exactly like she did when she popped up in Kooter's thread to complain about getting blocked by Kiki. Notice they stand out compared to the rest of the posters here.>>323926
When you consider that and then see her in those ads I'm not sure how much acting she's actually doing. That seems like genuine Kaka crazy.
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she found ze dream job
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the difference between kooter and kaka is that kooter is actually cute. If she embraced her actual face and changed her hair she would be super adorable. Kaka legit looks like someone's insane grandma.
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They both don't have enough hair tho. Even extensions aren't helping Kota.
>>323993>She's about as interested in horror as she is anime.
As in not very much. She showed a casual interest in both at best. She couldn't even remember the name of Ranma ½ for fuck's sake.
Koots was definitely more into animu than Keeks. Keeks shamed and embarrassed her about it on Stickam.
OT but how does keeks get rid of her huge eyebags in her pics?
t. Horrible eyebag anon
Ah yeah, I forgot, you don't have proof
Fuck off, Keeks.
Or Kiki herself. This was exactly the same stupid shit she pulled in past threads. If not Kiki, an Ostrenga.
Fuck your whole family, bitch.
Kaka is hard at work building this new IMDB profile all around one measly non-union, non-auditioned, totally bought background appearance.
I wonder how IMDB admins feel making profiles for whiny nobodies in trashy z list movies.https://getsatisfaction.com/imdb/topics/trevor-ads-still-remain-on-my-reel-and-pictures-on-imdb-pro
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Unpopular opinion but I think Kaka is better looking than Kota (atm at least) because the difference between her shooped pics and her candids is not as huge as Kota's.
I mean, sure she pretends to have a smaller nose through filters and shoops herself a bubble butt, but she's genuinely thin and the difference here >>323892
doesn't surprise me much.
Anyone could tell it's the same person (and these days everyone is familiar with edited, filtered pics of celebrities compared to papparazzi's pics)
She doesn't mess up with her eye size or her lip size too much whereas Dako is out there looking like an alien foetus and has to wear circle lenses every day to look a tiny teensy bit like her edited pics.
In the end, Dakota is still a bit more loveable than Kaka because Kaka is instantly annoying and obnoxious. You can sense the insanity seeping through her pores.
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Agreed. It's a bit silly to even compare, but koot be kinda looking like a skinny version of Chyna with worse hair and makeup in that recent video. Also tbh kaka aight 7.2/10 would prob bang just to see how shooped the ass is.
It's amazing that she thinks talking to herself on youtube is the same as a monologue, and believes a casting director would give that nonsense the time of day.>>324102
Same anon, I had a delayed kek processing. It truly is christmas.
Can you really say that ponying up $5000 and making a new twitter and insta, all the while having a sperg out on an obscure chan is "trying hard"?>>324102
This is truly the year of delicious cream.
There is no doubt in my mind. Sure we don't have someone from the movie coming in here and saying "YES, KIRSTEN LEIGH OSTRENGA PAID $5,000 TO PLAY A ROLE IN THIS MOVIE" but considering she:
- Did her scenes during the two day window as other people who DID pay the $5k
- Also was in LA during the same time
- Got an IMDb page
Maybe they just happened to enjoy the fact they got a relatively pretty, skinny, white chick so are using her a lot to promote the movie.
lmao forgive for replying to an older post but im fucking dying
this needs to be in every thread to rub it in kikis face
I was hoping she really did do something on her own this time. Maybe she hopes it will help her to start an acting career, but I seriously doubt it.
After reading all the post from her on here I can't feel bad for her, though. She's just not a good person, imo.
According to the info posted above, the company booked hotel rooms for the actors for 2 days and nothing more. Unless she moved on her own, there's no reason for her to stay there.
About your second queastion, yeah I'm also curious to know if Danny's family are aware of that.
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>>324152>dropping at least $1 mil on a house
this is one of the stupidest posts I've seen on this entire website, holy fuck.
To clarify even further, because you don't read, the person I was replying to was wondering if Cathy and Scott had bought a house and relocated to LA.>>324159
For real. Like I said in my house post, with their track record of financial irresponsibility and bankruptcy, I'd be willing to bet the Orlando house is underwater from multiple mortgages.
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are you trolling are you literally this fucking dumb?
… yes, I'm sure you can buy a lovely shack at auction for $100k.
I live in CA. Any ready to move in house - not one you have to rip down to the studs in a $500k construction project, even if it's in the hood - in a metro area starts around $1mil.
You must not live here. I see the photos you are scraping up, and those places are like police auction places. I'm talking about buying a house like a normal person, not a crackhead looking to flip their 10th crackshack to fund their Amway "investments".
Stop being fucking retarded on purpose, anon. You must live in the Midwest or something if you believe that 3 bedroom houses in a major city don't
go for one million easily.
I agree. Like I said, I was replying to someone who wondered if the Ostrengas had purchased a house and relocated (which they cannot possibly afford.)
If anything they're renting a cheap place for Kiki only, if she wasn't just out there for her 3 days of filming.
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Here is what other people who paid to be in the thing looked like.
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kiki and this guy >>324053
seem to be the best looking of them lel
I'm actually happy for that guy. His IG shows he's a huge horror fan and he's appearing in another movie as well. He seems more deserving of it than Keeks.
Those other people… yeeeeeeesh they could've spent that $5k so much more efficiently. Kek at the dick cutouts behind the clown though.
Those people spent 2k to die. It's the 5k folks who specifically got IMDB credit.
description with the >>324053
timing and subsequent IMDB credit creation is ALL the proof anyone who isn't Kaka needs.
So 2k to die, still could've been spent better but I guess it meant something to them.
So did I and he seems like a genuine person. He comes off lively unlike "Lilou" and her dead eyed pics of nothing.
Like a good diet plan maybe ?
Though to be honest, they look like Kiki's kinda crowd, basement dwellers.
That's better. Still going to watch it though. >>324231
I'm one of the anons you thought it was Kiki before admin sama confirmed it LOL suck it ~~~ >>323865>>324233
I wouldn't be white knighting Kiki if it wasn't super fun the way salty bitches reacted. You look insane stalking innocent people, like that guy just because he had a picture with Kiki. >>324236
More like the 10k times it wasn't really her kek
>You look insane stalking innocent people,like that guy just because he has a picture with Kaka.
So everyone here is salty and a creepy stalker for being here and reading this thread ? How are you any better then ? You're coming here for the same reason as everyone else, to read up on Kaka.
Get over yourself, Anon. >>324248
I refuse to get my hopes up and believe its her until Admin gives reason to. For now I think its just a really bored troll.
"for whatever reason"
z-grade horror people are always on the lookout for "hot" girls to put in their shit, the more stupid and willing they are the better. i'm sure keeks is being her usual psychotically "nice" self and going above and beyond what they want they probably realize she's a little unhinged and also desperate.
>>324293>the more stupid and willing they are the better
Especially since she acts and dresses textbook like this type >>323494
The only thing keeping her safe right now is that her body and looks aren't good enough for porn. Otherwise it's only her parents' credit cards being taken advantage of.
If you look at the cast on IMDB there are 6 members there that have roles with numbers on them or with no actual character name, which checks out with the 6 spots filled in the Indiegogo campaign. Nazi Thug #1, American Officer, Nazi Guard #1, Secretary 1, Nazi Thug #5, Nazi Thug #2. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5257554/fullcredits
So it's possible that Kaka didn't buy her role through Indiegogo, and it just so happened that her schedule coincided with the extras because they were in the same scene. I'm still open to the idea that she did ~favors to get this part.
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Kaka's teeth look quite jacked up in this photo on the new Oberhelfer Friede Steitze wiki.http://puppet-master.wikia.com/wiki/Oberhelfer_Friede_Steitze
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She lives, apparently
Thats what bugs me too. All of a sudden everyone is up kaka's ass over a shitty small role in some dodgy movie. Yet the other month she was an evil washed out witch. It happened with Venus back when she was finally free of her mother now they've gone back to slagging her off.
I dont care what anyone says this wont last with Kiki because she can never keep to one thing and work with it. First it was a model, then an actress, then designer, then a dj, then a spiritual goddessu then now an actress… its a pile of shit.
Its because her looks dont suit Japan compared to Dakota. There isn't much different between the two apart from Kaka has a long face and Dakota has a rounder one.
Isn't she involved with some asian dude? Bobby or something?
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Can't we just fast forward 30 years in the future where she is keeping Dakota hostage in a wheelchair and feeding her rats while planning her big Lilou Vos comeback.
because we all know they're going to be rebounds
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NO PHOTOSHOP GUYS NONE
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yeah that's supposed to be her all natural, because in real life her face is blurry just like that. she tried to pass this pic off as her without makeup and editing too. please take note of the way her face warps and slants to one side like a circus freakshow.
i really hope your memory is failing, cause that clearly has winged eyeliner, mascara and blush
i've always thought this photo is the one that looks the least like her real face out of all the thousands she has. i don't think she liquefies like kote does, but this photo she did.
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i never heard of SNS beforehand, and kiki's twitter and spergchan's posts are still the only places i've seen it since.
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hmm I don't think so, these posts are still up. That's the first thing she would want to delete-of course since Kiki is reading here (hi Kaka!) she will get someone to delete them asap.
BTW, wasn't that jeshikadoll another delusional bitch jumping on the living doll bandwagon or I am mistaken her for someone else?>>324651
it has been down for a while
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Sorry for multipost but actually who is this?
Tbh, I kind of agree with that anon. It's irritating how these retards are trying to ruin this for her when it's much more interesting to see her ruin it for herself like she always does. And I think if people keep trying to ruin it for her, she'll go on another hiatus from the internet.
If this doesn't get ruined for her, I have high hopes she'll become full of herself and start posting delusional humble bragging tweets again. I also think this could lead into her doing porn since a lot of the girls who act in these shitty horror films are porn stars.
Anon it doesnt matter because one way or another it will go to shit. EVERYTHING kaka has done turns into shit.
She isn't likeable enough to get fame. The Japanese sadly have to put up with koot in a humble manner despite not really liking her.
Then theres kaka who goes out to fuck with Tay Tay :)
Dakota had the advantage of the language barrier and the fact that almost nobody who cares enough about her to try o "expose" her could speak beyond weeb tier Japanese. But Kiki wants to get famous here
, which isn't going to work because people will recognize her eventually. She uses the same oveshooped selfies for her new Lilou Vos accounts, and it won't take long for Google results for her new moniker to turn into lolcow, Rolling Stone and Stickam.
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>>324356>John Lowe: The girl at the end is scary as fuck and that forehead has to be prosthetics.>>325261
this. in her attempt to start anew and have a unique foreign name, she didn't think about how a search would appear. she should change it to something extremely basic like courtney woods or something idk>>325263
i wish she would remove that cringey ass demo reel! i wonder if after this she will go on to do something else in the acting industry. she should do commercials or something. she has a very commercial look about her.
100 says she already told them about how everybody wants to rape and stalk and murder her>>325119
yeah you're right anon, I mistook her for ekaterinadoll or whatever that freak calls herself>>325267
yeah fucking kirsten as lazy and dumb as always. If she wanted to start a new persona she must have ditch anything tied to kiki kannibal. Bitch can't let go her 5 minutes of fame.
What the other anon said Dakota had the Japanese have NO idea who she was formerly and her shitty past because of them not knowing enough English. Only SOME could find and make out parts of about her - those added it on Girls Channel like her old pictures and stuff.
Its alright, all well and good in a country where they know fuck all English. But in the US where she has history, people know about her and her old shit then they will find out.
Plus in Asia, Japan they dont like all that drama and nasty stuff in the media. It's not like in the US and the west were its all a go and fun to stir shit up. Thats another reason why Dakota calmed her ass, kept her mouth shut and played by their rules. Kiki can't do that either and alas the Japanese weeb thing with her flopped. So its best her just to stay in the US.
Lilou Vos will be just exposed as her old self once pulltards unfortunately fuck her around and cause stupid shit because there is ALWAYS one person who does it.
The only way I think kaka would get away with this now is use a basic name and throw herself into unshooped pictures, just start from and keep it basic. Don't get involved with Dakota on social media and just… keep it low. But nope she uses her old shit on the new accounts so obviously we will know its her.
But to be honest… you know what. I can't see her going far. I rather her just have kept doing make up tutorials on Youtube and maybe becoming a lifestyle blogger. But nope.
She could have honestly started fresh… she could have just apologised about their asshole behaviour on stickam and everything else, the scamming ect ect.
Just started fresh, honest and doing more tutorials because honestly I did quite like her edie one. It was quite nice sadly for me to say, I did like it. But she has such unrealistic fucking goals. Why can't she just accept Dakota got to where she was on a whim and sheer luck? Even now though her sister has lost tons of attention and fan base to the point where she has to keep on the other end of Hiroshi's cock and buy followers. Its NO fun.
The pair of them are not working towards anything but: fame <
They just want to be famous for the sake of being famous and thats it.
Does anyone remember back before Dakota went to Japan she made a video with kaka talking about becoming actresses and using a gofundme to get the money?
I feel as if this was all set up. They both get popularity and collide together in the end as actresses or something…
Was the money they got from that gofundme the money that bought kaka the role in this shitty film? Or was it spent on Kooter's laptop, tripod and camera she used to take her living doll pictures?
none of that is realistic. if there's anything that this new thing showed, is that no matter what she does, people will still shit on her. this is the ultimate thing she could have done, and it didn't work. >>325398
you're wrong on everything. the kickstarter was to make them musicians going on tour. and they never got a single dime because kickstarter doesn't let you have any of the donations if you don't reach the complete goal you set.
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this is fucking hilarious for a lot of reasons
It's not known.
I'd like to think they had a jelly argument about the $5K their parents put up for one sibling but not the other.
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New Dakota pic
and it seems she's been a little inspired by Lilou Vos too! Hair and pentagram koot how edgy.
Told you guys they were meshing into one another gradually… Dakota probably wants to get into acting now too, she follows TWD actors and now kaka is starring in crazy horror films.
>>325405>this is the ultimate thing she could have done
she obviously has neither talent nor training. why would she try to be an actress? (in case this wasn't just a one time thing).
why doesn't she try to pursue a career outside of the public eye?
is right and>They just want to be famous for the sake of being famous
then that's just deplorable.
recognition is usally a mere byproduct of actual accomplishments.
also, the kind of pseudo-accomplishment, of people, like certain youtube personalities or the kardashians, is simply being entertaining in one way or another.
if she's going for that, then she might really consider big brother uk.
oh man i would adore a kiki reality show
she could make so much money off that shit too, and operate under the delusion that she has fans cheering her on while fresh milk is produced every week, it'd be perfect
Sounds like they've been watching too much Kardashians …
Thing is not enough people care about Kaka to make a reality show work. Kim K was born to fame and Kaka was born to… ? delusion ? …
But honestly, who wants to watch an entire reality series of Kaka sitting in her room talking to her self because she has no friends… It'd be the same as watching her Youtube channel.. Her making up stories and talking to herself.
Still helped that she was born into a family full of money anon. Same with Taylor R too hence why kaka was jealous because it was easier for Taylor and her looks too. Koot and Kaka never had what neither Kim or Taylor had: shit tons of money. I know she used to make a bit back when she made jewellery in her scene days but apparently it went to shit with Love bits and bruises stole her creations or something plus the scamming.
Plus lets be real. What is the trend right now? Big ass and big lips. What does Kaka have? NONE of those things and she would look awful with them too, she doesn't even fit the bill for the Instabaddie trend and no one is envious of her looks. She isn't sexy or that pretty. Koot and her have that awful crooked nose from what I've seen recently in their candid videos and pictures. They're hardly both worthy of being jealous of unless its shit tons of photoshop.
The best way I would say is kaka just going on a reality tv show.
I think she's definitely up to something and Dakota as of right now. I don't think they have both given up striving for fame since they've been TRYING for over ten years now but we are going to probably see a lot of them over the next couple of years.
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>>325809>apparently it went to shit with Love bits and bruises stole her creations or something plus the scamming.
if you mean the plastic diamond necklaces, those were/are wholesale laser cut shapes. Literally anyone can buy a bunch of these, a bag of rhinestones and call it a day. If Ostrengas made something more complex like pic related, then it would be a different story.
Didn't she somewhat recently say in an interview she wants to be an actress?
I don't know which sister degraded themselves more to be on tv, Koots with the oldman bath thing or Kaka with the softcore porn.
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The actress who played alongside Keeks looks like a semi legid D-list actress. Her wikipedia page is obvioulsy self written (MOVEMENT: RAW VEGAN / RELIGION: CHAOTE, PAGAN) but it seems like she's actually been in a few real movies and probably didn't have to pay for her role. Take from that what you will.
Here's Koots' actual, current face >>>/snow/210979
so I think you'll find she's doing quite a bit of photoshop.
My Wife Caught Me Assfucking Her Mother 4. There are at least four of these movies.>>326226
She's not hot though.
Saggy little titties and boney arse. >>326296
Perhaps she followed Koots on her new IG/Twitter/ect … The Lilou Vos ones ?
404 not found
anyways, given how much she despises sex workers (and basically the whole humankind, for that matter) I wonder if kaka spent the whole time mentally judging the other actresses.
26 is no different in youth from 24, wtf?
and it's not been proven anywhere that she's anything other than 24. every single place everywhere says 1992. can you name one place where it doesn't?
Kek I think you really wish that was real so you could fap all night with her soft porn scenes. >>326253
You are the one spreading myths.
What about reading previous threads newfags? her age has been proven several times, Kiki is 24, it's a fact, so yeah stop with that shit.
Who said that it was for those reasons? Anon wants to fap to Kiki's soft porn
movie, she just needs Kiki to be the protagonist of such scene, no extra reasons needed.
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Doesn't look like they follow each other on Twitter.
So a problem with 2 cam girls means she has something against sexworkers?
This is Rima's logic.. When she blocked Rima for spam, she was all like She blocked me, that means she hates latinas
No, that is Kiki's holy than thou
logic "I can sleep around and sext engaged guys, but if other women do, they are fucking filthy whores ugh"
and Rima wasn't even a latina hahaha. But yeah you have a point, kaka hate anything but yellow dicks.
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My favorite part is the fact that she's taking this so seriously, she actually purchased a subscription for IMDb Pro.
lol it fucking costs $150 a year for IMDb pro. Kiki if you'd just got a normal job like a normal person you could have made friends at work and earned an honest wage and moved out. But because you think you're too special you just end up wasting money on these shitty ideas on a whim. So much wasted money that could have been invested in an actual future… smh.
Kota also pisses me off for not establishing a proper career and just wasting her life sleeping with a jap dude who just
gives her enough cash to live on week by week. Like holy shit girls, you're so frustratingly deluded.
ikr? daddy and mommy ostrenga must be really proud
of their offspring.
How do people read posts like >>326322
and not believe Kiki is in this thread? Literally only she makes all these weird, vulgar sexual references toward herself (and girls she hates, for that matter).
honestly, i think it's great, that she takes it seriously, if it's something she is passionate about and 100% wants to pursue.
not sure about the approach and her motive.
also, she might have a job (probably not a career though). didn't she work for a chinese restaurant at some point? i'd keep it under wraps on social media too, if i were her.
btw, i'm really conflicted writing this, after how she has behaved on here.
it's sort of a disappointment in her morals. her sperging out only in her own threads wouldn't have been nearly as bad as attacking taylor like that.
people are usually humbled by bad experiences and grow from them. why doesn't she?
it makes me feel bad for her. her positive public persona (on twitter for example) seems PURELY opportunistic.
makes you wonder, how much of a moral compass she really has, if she behaves completely in stark contrast to that, when she thinks there are no repercussions.
it isn't just some spazzing on the internet anymore, when you look at the scope and the targeted aggression of it.
what does that say about someone's mental well being, their self esteem?
should or shouldn't i wish well for someone like that?
I'm convinced she's here since the posting of her new "SNS" accounts.>>326907>a balding Kleenex
I kekked>>326971>how much of a moral compass she really has
That's the thing with psycho bitches like her. They can stalk and harass people like crazy and still sleep well at night. There is no compass or empathy, though she half assedly fakes it.
>>326972>they are terrible, toxic and dangerous their whole lives. They do not have the capacity for self reflection or empathy for others.
Yeah but throughout everything, Kiki hasn't actually done anything nasty to anyone except anonymously shit all over one specific girl on the internet, which is more or less the exact same thing that we're all here for.
I can see where she lacks self reflection but we don't really have enough information to diagnose her with NPD. To do that we'd need to have seen more of her interactions with other people, or have some reliable written account (like Charms' of Kota).
Don't get me wrong, I am certain that one or both of her parents has NPD or a similar personality disorder. As far as we know Kiki's just a delusional product of her parents.
>>327071>>Kiki hasn't actually done anything nasty to anyone except anonymously shit all over one specific girl on the internet
Taylor is not the first person Kiki has relentlessly shit on online, she's been doing it since 2007. She and her parents attacked, called, left threatening VMs, and sicced fans on anyone who didn't receive goods ordered from her website, or left an honest review.
This is leaving aside all of the racist videos (mimicking black and asian women) and Stickam callouts and drama. She was much younger during in much this, and she seemed to have stepped back from this kind of behavior - until this year when she proved beyond a doubt that she's not changed at all.
Exactly. She was a terrible person and still is, possibly worse than we know because we only see the garbage from her that is online.
I don't like the idea of trying to normalize kaka.
It's amazing how literally nothing you just described about Kiki is particularly disordered behavior for a catty teenage internet girl. Every kid who ran a scam and made ching chong eyes and joked around with a shaniqua from tha hood accent doesn't have NPD.
A big part of determining whether someone has NPD is how they handle relationships (platonic or otherwise) and interact with those people, whether they have any capacity for empathy and selflessness towards those people. But we've yet to observe any kind of relationship between kiki and anyone outside of her family so we don't have that information. The only exception I can think of is Taku, another scenario we don't know much about because he doesn't speak english or use social media.
Now, if you really wanted to think about actual NPD characteristics kiki has, it would include:>delusions of grandeur>repeatedly attempting to portray oneself as a saint or inspirational figure from whom others should seek advice>general oversharing & attention seeking>daughter of parents who are likely NPD
Not shit stirring on stickam like every other kid of her generation. >>327087>I don't like the idea of trying to normalize kaka.
Save your faux concern and SJW lexicon for your facebook feed. >>327090
But basically this
Lmao no that's not how it works.
BPD is a cluster b and is managable with therapy. Also BPDers have extreme empathy so no that's not how it works. Don't spread false shit.
I've been to DBT with BPD people. It IS untreatable
, it's a personality disorder. There are skills they can learn to manage it, but they need to be on the low end of the spectrum and very motivated for it to have any kind of effect (and there is no getting better, it's a personality disorder.)
Also, BPD is totally different from NPD… but of course, you have BPD so you found a way to make this about you and your hurt feelings.
Aw you shit on a lot of people here too.
I wonder how many of you twats are shit talking Sharla, Taylor and friends in their threads too. Hypocrites.
Taylor gave a response about the whole Sperg chan drama, a very good one, and moved on. Do the same. >>327143>>327141>>327129
Enough with the armchair diagnosis.
>>327154>>Taylor gave a response about the whole Sperg chan drama, a very good one, and moved on. Do the same.
… no? This is the Kiki / SpergChan thread, where we talk about, well, SpergChan and Kiki. There will be no "moving on".
Kiki is sperg chan and recently created another online personality to be in softcore horror pornos. This is drama.
No one said "don't talk about Kiki in her thread" you twat, I'm just pointing out how hypocrite you all sound saying things like "Evil Kaka shit talked Sharla and Tay!!1! B1TCH!1!"
Last time I checked, their threads were still there. So don't use that as an excuse because some of you do the same.
Aw, someone's gotten their lil feefees hurt:(
Do you not realise how retarded you sound? >Last time I checked, their threads were still there. So don't use that as an excuse because some of you do the same.
Ok…And? The difference is that farmers aren't lolcows like Kaka who go out of their way to preach *~love and light kirakira~* and anti-bullying/ online harassment whilst simultaneously sperging out all over the same platform she supposedly condemns.
So farmers aren't allowed to mention Kaka bitching about other youtubers because some of these farmers post in threads about the same youtubers?
>IF KOOTS HAS A THREAD Y CANT TAYLOR!!!!
Jesus, you ok?
>>IF KOOTS HAS A THREAD Y CANT TAYLOR!!!!
Who mentioned anything about this?
I actually defended Taylor Lol
holy fuck shit
I googled the quotes to an old blog i found a long time ago that videos of Kiki being a bully and the person wrote down what she said, thank god the videos were removed obviously. if you wanna take a peek at how horrible kiki was on stickam, the link is all the way down. but i'm blown away by the sheer irony of this first one. just read it, word for word.
>"Yeah, remember that big chunky girl? This girl, her name was like Chelsea or something, and she would always go on Stickam, and people thought, oh, she was this sexy girl, and da-da-da-da-da, but she ended up being really, really, like a jerk, and uh, I guess she won some contest and went out to L.A., and they, uh, video-taped her, with like, a legit real camera, like how you would look like in real life, and MAN!, you saw how she REALLY was, and she was like [makes gestures indicating fatness].
here's some other ones>"Let's look at your pictures. You don't want to piss me off, because this is what I do. Enough of that, I'm getting off her profile, it's making me queasy. I tell it like it is! If you're gonna, if you're gonna like, mess with me, I'm gonna look at your shit, evaluate it, and tell you straight up what I think.
"Gross! I'm gonna, I'm gonna look through her pictures. This is amusing. I think these girls have made my day."
"See, okay, look at her pictures! BLEEEUUUGH! 'Model shot'? Holy crap! I think this just made my day! I think this, this made my day! I'm gonna blow up your pictures and save them as my, my desktop, so every time I come to my Mac, and go online, I see your model shots. That's just gonna… Oh, I'm [unintelligible]! You guys wanna see this?
>"I can't– when lesbians look at me, it's just like, whoa, don't do that, like, just don't! That's so disrespectful!" http://logonasty.blogspot.com/
Oh actually that's my screenshot! Thanks. Like I said, Tay responded and moved on.
So please,>>327184>>326885>>326886Stay Paranoid
am I the only one around here who trusts Admin? >>323865
dude I didn't say untreatable, i said its managable. No feelings are hurt, I just wanted to correct wrong information. But clearly you don't give a fuck.
back to kiki thx
>>327217>Thats just a vague tweet after the sperg reveal >not an official statement
Oh what did you expect exactly?
So I was lurking Lolcow yesterday and Woah! It was YOU @Keek all this time!! #LMAO
People shit talk me and my friends there but who cares? Sperg chan is insane! Thank you! #Tayfarm
#Blessed #Thankful #Relief
my point was that you cant count that vague tweet as a response, so stop grasping at straws and saying 'taylor responded move on!!'
and if taylor ever did make an official statement about the shit-show that is kiki kannibal, it still wouldnt change the fact that kiki is the worlds biggest hypocrite, preaching love and light on twitter then coming to lolcow and pull to shit talk taylor, sharla, rachel, and audrey.
kiki is the best lolcow because her hypocrisy is undeniable, and fucking hilarious.
Your reading skills are shit, Jan. Read again: >>327215
I defended Taylor back then and I'm the same anon who posted the screenshot of Tay's tweet. Stay paranoid
. Lmao I wasn't even posting about you.
If she's not even in her piddly little Florida home anymore, it's completely viable she's posting from a different IP, and with all that >>326886
said, why WOULDN'T she go out of her way to cover her tracks by changing browsers, making screen resolution look off, etc? Admin wouldn't be able to prove it was her, either, unless she was doing all the same things as before.
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Replace "Chelsea" and "LA" for "Dakota" and "Japan" in the first quote.
oh the irony.
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Sorry if this was already posted. I just saw this.
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Daily reminder to ~uplift your neighbour~ kek
I know this is halfway up the thread but it's worth replying to because it happens in every thread.
Your google searches are catered to you specifically, even if you don't have a google account signed in. The results you see reflect the websites you regularly go on, not what will come up for someone else.
That's not what I mean, sorry. If enough of the percentage of people who go on lolcow also go on kiwifarms regularly, then google will assume anyone who goes on one will also like the other, so they put it higher up in the results.
Google modifies your results based on other, similar users' trends as well as your own. also the fact kikifarms is mentioned here all day pushes it up the results for regular lolcow users. Google knows the websites are connected, so if you go on one it's more likely to show you the other.
I thought this shit was common knowledge guys. It's like the targeted advertising shit but more subtle.
It can be difficult to prove if someone is really her, but it's not that hard to disprove that someone is her. In this case, it's been easy to disprove everyone who's been accused of being her.
She'd have to do much more than what you're suggesting to successfully evade our suspicion.
I believe it's because Kaka is always after her "haterz" to show them that she is going to go and live a "glamorous" life since she thinks people who rag on her are sorryass basement dwellers with no life. being in the entertainment/creative/modeling industry for this pathetic piece of shit means glamour. it's all about image for her, admiration, she's not after work that will enrich her soul or character. it's so shallow.
besides what do you expect from a person who once said (along these lines at least), that if she leaves the internet, the haters will win? course she will go after jobs that will make her a star and put her into a pedestal that will make us all BAAAAWW with jealousy.
this is why i have more sympathy for Pixyeri. at least Pixyteri has a normal family, she was not raised in a household that encouraged the children to go after the dead dreams of their parents.
I see what you mean. It's just my personal take, but I think that she wanted to start again on a clean slate with this whole Lilou Vos thing because there's too much dirt on her as Kiki. She's still the same narcissistic person who has done bad things, she just wanted to be special and famous as someone new.
Is it just me who is starting to think she actually wants
us to find these things? She's always playing the victim and complains about how we ruin everything for her, so I wouldn't be surprised if she does this to confirm that.>>328639
This. She will really hate hearing this, but I think out of all the lolcows I've seen, she's probably the most basic one. I mean, she doesn't really have many distinct things about her. The most distinct thing about her is her thin hair and receding hairline, which isn't really that special since many people have fucked up hair situations.
>>328660>she doesn't really have many distinct things about her.
Kiki was one of the first true social media celebrities, was the poster child for a huge subculture, has had numerous failed business ventures and legal problems, caused an obscene amount of drama on myspace and stickam, and indirectly lead to someone's death. She is also quite possibly the first major online lolcow whose notoriety extended beyond niche communities and the most common visage for catfishing, roleplaying, etc. She is pretty distinct and notable in terms of the history of internet culture in regards to the fact that she displayed lolcow tendencies in the early days of social media and at a time where there were very few internet celebrities due to the lack of diverse social media, subcultures, and content sharing platforms. She was THE person to hate for social media users of the day. Most of the people on this board are too young to have experienced this and probably really don't and can't understand, but this made the few internet celebrities who did exist BIG, much bigger than e-celebs today despite having a relatively smaller audience.
So while Keeks may not be distinct today as there are far more platforms on which to attention whore, far more attention whores, and sites dedicated to documenting them, she is historically significant for being one of the first, if not the first mainstream lolcows, and for reaching a level of notoriety and infamy that is probably impossible to attain in the contemporary internet landscape.
I remember her drama with Jeffree Star on MySpace and other things like bragging how the sex was with Danny then when they broke up she said it was small etc. Its funny she has a video up about her "rape and how she is supposedly traumatized.
But still dressed in skimpy clothing & pranced around in a shirt and underwear on Stickam. I highly doubt she is traumatized by any of it. And since Danny is here to defend himself, she blames him for most all of it. Funny she never mentioned Jake Wolf Crunk or whatever his name was that gave her an STD. She's the pinnacle of cows.
That's too much anon. So how was he to know that getting involved with this specific girl would end up so badly? By that logic, every accidental death could've been prevented by that person if only they had realized they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I agree with >>328787. Ultimately, he chose to run away like a dumbass, and it was his actions that made him culpable of the crimes he committed. No one forced his ass to date Kiki, or is he not responsible because he can't help but be attracted to that sweet, sweet jailbait?
Not to whiteknight Danny but remember Ostrengas first lied about Kiki's age, later he learnt she was 14 (and still continued dating her, of course that's his fault).
Anyways. Cathy and Scott behavior raise too many questions, why let a stranger live in their house, sleeping in the same bed with their underage daughter? why they waited until the breakup to take legal action? myspace fame worthed more than your kid's emotional health? Idk why the judges ignored the blatant child abuse happening in Ostrenga household.
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it's been up for at least five years so if it's wrong no one's cared enough to change it
Stop trying to find ways to make her look bad too. Just STOP.
This is sick. >>328923
Anon cares because her age has been discussed and proved several times, Kiki and Dakota are not lying. Like anon said >>328894
>you need to stop making this false BS just so you can fool other people.
Some anons who don't want to accept this fact always try to spread this rumour using old material we already know.
Who, other than an Ostrenga, would defend shitty parents like Scott and Cathy? Your 11-12 year old daughters get harassed by people online and instead of actually parenting them and taking them offline, you let the kid convince you with their child logic that the haterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz will win and let her continue to whore herself for attention. Granted, I don't expect great parenting from a redneck who got knocked up by a failed musician, but Cathy and Scott are crappy parents. I'm sure they love all their kids, but they messed Kiki and Kota way the fuck up letting them be internet addicts and pushing them to seek fame and attention by any means necessary. That's why one of them is a fat, greasy sugar baby and the other is a balding, screeching hag who jumps into bed with any guy for any imaginary gain at all.
Great parenting, much success.
Anon you sound like you're 8.
>This is sick
Yeah I agree in the sense the Ostrengas have some shitting parenting skills. They let Danny into their home and sleep in their underage daughter's bed. Thats fucked up. Danny might have not been the best but Kathy and Scott are at fault for letting him in.>>328881>Stop trying to find ways to make her look bad
Do you know what website you are on anon?
Just because it's on whitepages doesn't make it true, there is a lot of wrong information on White pages.>>328894>>328923>>328940
It's a known fact Kiki and Dakota lie about their age, it should't be such a surprise, and it's the stupidest thing I have aeen if someone is arguing they haven't.>>329012
I think anon was just making the point their age has been discussed multiple times, why keep beating a dead horse, and why are you getting ao pissy about it.
I was around back then. I remember Dakota and Kiki always
saying they were 3yrs 1daty apart in age. That only changed when Dakota went viral. And the only "roof" is shit the Monstrengas haven't copyright claimed.
Besides, the proof is in the shit they pretend never happened. Dakota's "sound engineering degree" (certificate of completion), the beer commercial from 2008, the tweets about her driving. She didn't do all that as an 11-12 year old. And she sure as shit didn't look 11-12 either.
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Idk why ppl get so triggered
by their ages. Who cares, a couple years difference is fucking nothing.>>329080
That 2nd tweet is insufferable
I hope you're not trying to use Kiki's words as some sort of proof. Because that would be hilarious
The only time someone spergs out about their ages is when someone says she's older. And it's always the same obnoxious, blatantly self-unaware and dated writing style the Monstrengas are known for.
The only saving grace is that Dakota has a round, fatty face and Kiki has a bony, mature face. They only ever looked "3 years apart" because Kiki legit already looked 16-17 when she was really 14-15.
Nah they look a year apart
Look at the one where they were eating in Disney land
they're at least a YEAR apart anon
Because they have different face shapes. Kiki maturing sooner than Kota and
having a longer, narrower face shape, even when they were both little, makes Kiki look older than her age. She's 24 but she looks so much worse. Dakota looks a lot worse than she should for 21.
Btw, multipost-sage-chan, I'm only saying she looks like worn out, given up on life shit for being as young as she is (or maybe isn't). Other 20-somethings don't look as close to the grave from malnutrition and stress as Kiki and Dakota.
Does it really matter? Resorting to grammar nazi retorts because there's nothing better to argue over their ages of all things. It's better the thread not move at all than this shit come up again when it had been settled and let go of two or three threads ago. >>329237
Yes. It's not very subtle either. She's so tacky.
It isn't one person.
It's a cluster of people.
If it doesn't matter, why constantly spread the misinformation tho?
Yall pretending to be aloof when things don't go your way. All of us are spergs, nice try.
>>329261>If it doesn't matter, why constantly spread the misinformation tho?
exactly. someone actually took the time to enter in a bogus birthday they either yanked out of their ass at that moment, or purposely put wrong. why do people here get so mad when they're told she's younger than they want her to be?>>329266
and all they can do is give an incompetent reply dodging the questions and sperging out "Okay Keeks. It doesn't matter."
Paranoia: calling a farmer Kaka for pointing out that you're probably wrong.
K. Hope that tinfoil hat is comfortable.
Kiki and Dakota and Cathy are the reason there's so much misinformation. You can delete fucking everything but it still doesn't change the fact that the people who were around to see it when they posted it originally will remember it. You can say "lies" "fake" "never happened" all you want, but you can't go back and erase people's memories. Kiki Kannibal was huge, Dakota was there too, and a hell of a lot of people saw them be racist, homophobic, ignorant, trashy and rude. Thousands
of people. Gormsprinf dowsnt exist anymore, but when it did it was hella popular and Kiki had a ton of followers on there. I was one of them. And no amount of smoke anyone tries to blow up my ass is gonna change the fact that I distinctly remember Kirsten Ostrenga posting on her Formspring.me that she and Dakota were one
year an one
So how is that "some random birthdate pulled out of my ass", exactly? The 1993 DOB Dakota used to use was made up by her so she could join MySpace at the same time as Kiki.
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Yeah but that granny nude bra look hideous, why not just use something like pic related? >>329299>Although credit to Cathy, it takes a special kind of obsession to constantly search and delete anything you disagree with.
the wonders of being unemployed and have too much free time on your hands
Actually Cathy works retail, or she did as of around march last year. But yeah, obsessively registering accounts on people finder websites and searching/deleting any results that show up for your kids is… well, I don't imagine that's something most parents would ever think to do.
It's great to me that the Ostrengas are all so fame hungry, yet anyone talking about them terrifies them. Even just postin caps ofnold shit they did and said, they're terrified. Why keep trying? If they put half the time, money and effort into actually developing a skill instead of just trying to lie, rip off and fake everything would have gotten them both so much farther. If both of them reinvented themselves- and not just their clothes, either- and truly apologized and came clean, then they could put it all behind them. The only reason people still talk about them is because they still do the exact same thing they've been doing for 10 years now. Trying to trick people into thinking they're beautiful, talented, special, unique, etc. while being nothing but nasty and boring.
Course not! Need that back up plan in case Lilouvos flops
Tinfoil hat time: maybe since she's doing a new project she used a different name, afraid that people (we) would find out and make fun of her or "ruin" it by "contacting employers/colleagues etc" (bc everyone is out to get her)
Dude, no one gives a shit if what you remember has the distinct possibility of also being lies.
I don't understand how in the same breath you can dismiss their words as lies (Correct) and then use nothing but their own words as proof? you can't cherrypick the information that you think is reliable. If someone is a liar on the scale Kiki is, everything they've ever said has to be taken with a massive grain of salt.
Until someone pays for whatever information is publicly available (another copy of the police report or the other thing) Hell, if someone in her state drops me an email and proof, I will personally paypal you the money so we can put this stupid bullshit to bed. The only reason I haven't done it already is because I'm in the UK.
I'm a different anon, that was my first post in the thread on this topic. And admin has already been to say Kiki hasn't posted, so clearly I'm not her. By the looks of it there are at least three of us sick to death of tinfoil hat conspiracy theorists who're convinced she's older than she claims and that somehow there's a massive ostrengas cover up and they're capable of forging passports and all kinds of bullshit.
As long as people mention Kiki's age there'll be some fuckwit who comes out of the woodwork to yell about how there's an ostrenga conspiracy and she's really older. So no, me specifically not talking about it wont help considering my input has only been one reply to an already pretty active discussion.
>you've got some serious problems paying to win an argument on lolcow
Honestly Idgaf about "winning" definitive proof either way is good enough for me. Also fifteen dollars is fucking nothing.
Agree. Admin confirmed it twice itt and it's ridiculous to think that those who dare to disagree with conspiracy theories and false rumors are all Kiki.
I'm a different anon btw, I haven't posted here today. Happy Holidays!!
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sage for ot; different anon.>>327511>>327421
was interested in this so i had my younger sister google her. same thing pops up, although lolcow isn't on the first page.>>329080
this makes me shudder every time i see it. it's so cringey. she's like some 2000s weeb; this is something you'd expect from a kid. the ostrenga's lack self-awareness and it's unnerving.
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If anyone else is curious Corey is or was recently modeling. Jake is a sad-looking tortured soul musician. Jack Cash is still a musician in LA.
>>329559>It doesn't matter if it's fifteen dollars, a hundred dollars, or five cents. The fact that anyone is willing to spend any money on some stupid internet 'conspiracy' is ridiculous.
That's just like, your opinion man.
Also you do realise that admin is paying for this entire website to exist, right? You wouldn't be able to enjoy any of this milk without someone spending money on "stupid internet conspiracies". Clearly you don't think it's that ridiculous, or you wouldn't be here.
>If you're still so inclined though, hit up Chris Stone.
I would, but I honestly don't trust him not to tamper with it or hide it if it contains info he doesn't like. He's hardly unbiased when it comes to Kiki.
Good post. I wouldn't waste my time arguing with them though, they sounded like a summerfag.
Very strange when we get people invested enough to make hundreds of posts on lolcow, but as soon as there is some sort of disagreement (as there always is and will be, hur dur) they try to pull out this aloof, "I'm so calm and you're not lol wow obsessed much? You'd spend $15 whole dollars to bury this lol wow what a loser. I'm on here all the time but wow you're like so pathetic. Not that I care."
Lolcow doesn't exist to post about internet conspiracies, though. That's not the intention of it at all.
It feels ridiculous to put money on this. At the height of the age debate maybe it would've made more sense. This late in the game it's old news and most people just don't seem to care considering it doesn't change much at all. There aren't a lot of people jumping in the thread to contribute to the argument for either side and no one else is agreeing it's a good idea. It just seems like most people are tired of it aside from the few anons who brought it back up which for that matter could've been for the intention of starting drama.
Plus you buy the documents, there are going to be those anons who insist the document's forged and are going to accuse you of shooping it to fit whatever age narrative you want to push. These are the same people insisting passports and legal documents have all been faked by the Ostrengas. It might shut some people up, but there's always going to be that handful of people who think otherwise so what does it accomplish? If you still think it's worth it then I hope you find someone to help you with getting what you need.
You don't seem to get that I was using the term conspiracy mockingly to poke fun at the people who think Kiki is secretly older, I also called them tinfoil hat chans. I don't really think there's a conspiracy, I think they simply lied about their ages to make myspace profiles back in the day.
>Plus you buy the documents, there are going to be those anons who insist the document's forged and are going to accuse you of shooping it to fit whatever age narrative you want to push.
Excellent point tbh, I guess people who think they're capable of forging passports aren't going to take heed of any other evidence.
The problem is that people - well I say people but I'm pretty convinced it's just one anon who clings to the idea because if Dakota is really the age she claims to be then her success in Japan and so on is actually kind of impressive and it makes them feel like a failure in comparison. - bring it up whenever someone makes an offhand comment about kiki's age they have to "correct" the person making the comment.
It's pure speculation. >>330394
That was cute!
Here we go.
You don't really believe she really just randomly got some role in a horror realm she's expressed no interest in with no prior experience or any redeemable talent, do you?
But she definetly has? Kiki and kooter both have since scene days made weird posts and have a weird sense of humor, kiki at least has always been edgy and has in the past made slight remarks of being into horror. I doubt she paid for the role, until the movie comes out it is hard to say. If she appears for a few minutes, paid for. If she has any decent amount of lines and scenes, she didnt pay for it. Its as simple as that to deduct, her getting the role isnt surprising. Its a D-grade movie and basically no one is famous in it, hell they have a hardcore pornstar in it, so an old scene queen/ a notorious person is a no brainer addition. She generates views if for nothing else than hate.
Im not saying kiki realised this is why she might have gotten the role, but the director/ casters sure did. They googled her, I doubt this role is what kiki read for even. As for her age, all teens claim to be older. There is no conspiracy,all it proves is that kiki never grew out of that teen mentality.
I wasnt thinking, but
Do you think kiki wouldnt namedrop herself? I wouldnt be surprised.
Also, she has mentioned that she hates being known as Kiki Kannibal before. The only reason why she keeps the name is because she doesn't want to lose her following. You have to keep in mind, she doesn't have any friends and she doesn't leave the house, so she only gets attention/social interaction on the internet. Without it, she has nothing.
When it comes to the role in that movie, she definitely bought it. But I think the reason why she's featured in the trailer and stuff is because the director was pleasantly surprised by her. She isn't really that attractive imo but compared to the girls I know that would be interested in this sort of thing, she looks like a model. (These girls look a lot like Raven Sparks when she was fatter)
Plus, I feel like Kiki would be down to pretty much do any sort of scene. Like I wouldn't be surprised at all if we see her naked in the movie.
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I submitted a banner.
I agree, we saw what the other trolls that paid to be in the movie look like. She may look like shit compared to other women in LA, but she's not a landwhale.
She likely showed up in her best lingerie looking DTF and they bumped her up to a slightly bigger role bc that's how that niche industry works.
alllll of this, man. i thought the same, that she bought the role but managed to impress the directors and so she got more parts than she was supposed to. you can tell in a photo way up in the thread of the fans of this movie that other females who went into this all look like obese goths. plus kiki feels comfortable enough in front of a camera to scream like a banshee and make voices.
and yes about the kiki kannibal/kirsten ostrenga part. that name is only associated with nothing but negativity. googling it will only gives results like her ED page, PULL, lolcow, and articles with titles like "Kiki Kannibal: A Story of Stupid Hair, Statutory Rape, and Online Stalking in South Florida". of course she must hate it, but stays with it for the same reason she made it in the first place when she was 14, because without it she's lonely.
lol it's literally the same old shit from her kikikannibal ig
bitch never learns
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Too bad this is just a wig, the cut/color is such a huge improvement on her.
She made a Facebook profile and page:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100011358106456https://www.facebook.com/LilouVos/
The page links back to lilouvos.com but nothing comes up on that website. She's preparing for the launch of the movie, I guess.
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Fuck, spam detector
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Sorry I deleted my post because I posted her old Backstage profile. This is her updated acting resume.
>Acupuncture, Beginner Japanese, Beginner Mandarin, Botany, Chinese Medicine, Herbalism, Metal Fabrication, Qi Gong, Hula Hoop, Martial Arts - Tai Chi, Roller Skating, Rollerblading, Running - Sprint, Trampoline, Yoga, Comedian, Guitar, Improvisation, Licensed Driver, Modeling, Piano, Asian - Chinese Accent, Asian - Japanese Accent, Australian Accent, Scottish Accent, Southern Accent, Spanish Accent, Texan Accent
Nice "golden blonde" hair.>>331721
So much airbrush.>>331720
Did she get a bad nosejob? Compare this to >>331722
- holy shit.
Kaka is also an editor-in-chief for a magazine. What talent!http://kelliloberger.wixsite.com/l3magazine/about>Kirsten Ostrenga - Editor-in-Chief>Kirsten Ostrenga is an aspiring lawyer, litigator, longevity health enthusiast and emerging writer due to her dark personal experiences. She has had her life story published in RollingStone, LifeStyle and MarieClaire magazines. She aims to inspire those to heal, rise like phoenix from past ashes, reborn to live healthy lifestyles despite traumatic experiences.
Jeez, Kaka. Lawyer? Litigator? Fuck you.
One of her articles:http://kelliloberger.wixsite.com/l3magazine/lifestyle
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Lol Lawyer [insert Keek's laugh]
Oh I thought this was an extremely thin pixyteri>>331743>>331738
Of course anons! after reading her mom's old textbooks and filing thousands of copyright claims, Kiki is a law expert now
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HAPPY 2017 FARMERS
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For posterity and kekking purposes
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Kiki you are in DESPERATE need of some hair TLC holy shit. You can tout sixhead pride all you want but if you want a job in front of the camera you're actually going to put forth some real effort and shove the delusion in the closet.
Sideswept bangs, layers, and a pantogar script are your only hopes at this point. Girl really.
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If no one will take down pesky Lolcow and PULL, she will!
I'm 100% positive that's the only reason she wants to be a lawyer.
She was like 15, so its child porn. But it does exist, but please don't post it here if anyone finds it.
The picture is the reason she got banned for Myspace too, btw.
Other anons pointed out that site hasn't been updated since 2014. If she actually was trying to become a lawyer, I highly doubt she still is because:>She seems to have given up on the court case>She has always had way too much time on her hands for someone who is supposed to be in school. >She always gives up on stuff that involves actual work and doesn't give her immediate results.
I also feel like she dropped out of school because she really thought she was going to get a spouse visa from Taku. I mean, she even missed a court hearing just to visit him.>>331774
She's been updating and unlocking her stuff in the past 24 hours. January release for the movie maybe? >>331724
This bitch is delusional. We've heard her accent attempts and they're not good.
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Man the Ostrengas cannot put together outfits to save their lives.
That's a costume. Was she the wardrobe department or something?>>331835
She rike a flied lice.
A better pic would be the one where she stretches her eyelids.>>331838
My highschool plays looked better than this.
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She looks really cute with shorter hair and a more natural look. Plus she looks more mature. What do you guys think?
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Anyone know who is this photo with Keeks?
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Yeah ha. Here she looks like a female Slenderman.
even if her butt really did look like that… It doesn't look good lol
What makes her think this looks good??
And anons are going to talk about those old photos ∞ AGAIN ∞
Wow the sloppy photoshopping. Kaka had some cool headshots from backstage profile but these are just too obvious.
Pull a Koto already Kiki, will ya
That one is different. There's one that's clearly a webcam cap with tshirt raised and scene hair, that's one you nope out of.
I think she posted that on MySpace herself after an internet boyfriend sent it to friends.
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The 'agency' that represents her seems like a joke as well.
Their pitchs for television shows are hilarious.