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/shay/ - dolly mattel fan club

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File: 1689600837027.png (373.97 KB, 408x612, REIMBURSE!!!!!.png)

No. 163871[Reply]

Containment board for Shayna memes and Shatposting.

This is a thread for collecting and archiving all Shay related media, mostly farmer generated. Please curb your autism and save any discussion of milk for the threads on /snow/, and spoiler any NSFW images.

Infight all your autistic battles here.

First thread: >>>/shay/158765
Second thread: >>>/shay/159974
1203 posts and 362 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168775

>>168774
4th page in on /snow/ nonna, just hasn't been bumped in awhile

No. 168776

>>168775
thank you nona

No. 168779

>>168750
I wonder what kind of person looks at Shayna and thinks she's successful. Is he poor so it seems like a lot of money to him? Or very liberal and thinks sw is empowering?

No. 168782

File: 1719612363555.jpg (88.55 KB, 581x455, 1719432458876.jpg)

I think some nonas overestimate Shayna. She said that she hates school and also that she's too dumb for university/college, yet anons talking about her having a normal career in the future. It's hard for me to picture that.

No. 168788

>>168750
kinda your fault for dating a man who thinks sex work is real work



File: 1680323423539.jpeg (9.1 KB, 224x225, 1673535769752.jpeg)

No. 157669[Reply]

Share your favorite iconic moments from the thread, or a specific memory you share with your fellow shayheads. My favorite was anon who hated the word bleak so much she was getting a shayneurism (but eventually embraced it). What's yours?
99 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168679

File: 1718082567274.png (Spoiler Image,388.16 KB, 600x284, 1533149494916.png)

>>>/snow/653664

This work of shart:

No. 168682

>>168679
Wtf is wrong with her vulva? I know she had those boils but why does it look all bunched up?

No. 168693

>>168682
Read the old threads, it’s all there kek she had some creepy fat scrote from a BDSM site vacuum her entire vulva up in some kind of high powered clit pump and this is the result.

No. 168697

File: 1718341640047.jpeg (455.72 KB, 1425x1425, IMG_0912.jpeg)

this edit from thread 50'

No. 168701

File: 1718382956302.jpg (Spoiler Image,1.67 MB, 1924x2142, 1523161478983.jpg)




File: 1717514327267.webp (76.38 KB, 1440x916, resize)

No. 168625[Reply]

Share photoshops, male lookalikes, shart, or anything else of what you think Shay would look like as a man.
1 post and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168627

File: 1717518725709.jpg (524.25 KB, 1080x1340, Screenshot_20240604-173152.jpg)

Paul Dano

No. 168628

>>168625
So accurate

No. 168649

File: 1717827837539.png (37.79 KB, 429x378, Screenshot_2024-06-08-02-25-32…)


No. 168650

>>168627
how dare you nona

No. 168666

File: 1717968690499.jpg (186.04 KB, 1080x1340, 1717518725709.jpg)

>>168650
Ummm anon?



File: 1681169294719.jpeg (101.28 KB, 750x986, 80088601-FAEE-4110-9A95-F34B33…)

No. 160523[Reply]

I saw some other anons in the Quitting Weed with Shayna thread >>24354 asking for this and I also want to post about shitness (Shay fitness). Let’s hold each other accountable by posting fat Shat, sharing fitness regimens, healthy meals, and tips to curb cravings!
132 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168225

>>168224
Samefag, jumps in place like ghost jump rope (kek) is a good at home way to boost your cardio fitness, I recommend it to clients who are less cardio fit to begin with. Try a minute of jumprope simulation and see how you feel w that too!

No. 168233

>>168225
>>168224
Thank you so much!! I actually have an old jumprope I can start using again. The fun of jumping rope might also help push me more vs trying to run the block which bores me haha.
Thankfully walking I'm good at and can go for a while, but it's the moment I fast walk or jog (or god help me, run for the bus) that my lungs feel like they're totally airless kek. But tbh daily walks would probably do me a world of good so I'll work on that. No incline near me but there's a forest I can struggle-hike through. And next winter I can jump rope in the house!

No. 168359

>>167196
Do any nonas have advice for this? So last year I tried doing these. I could only do it 20 times every other day. After about a month I was only able to do it 15 times every other day. Ended up giving up after trying it for 3 months because I never gained any strength and still had flabby arms.

No. 168360

>>168359
Do it in a series of sets and reps that get progressively heavier. So 3 sets with 5 reps is 15 reps total. If you're using 1kg for example that means in total you have lifted 15kg. If you're able to do this then add another 1kg to the dumbbells so 2kg x 3 x 5 = 30kg. If you're unable to do 3 x 5, do 3 x 4 or 3 x 3.

For example
Day one - 3 x 3 @ 1kg = 9kg total lifted
Day two - 3 x 4 @ 1kg = 12kg total lifted
Day three - 3 x 5 @ 1kg = 15kg total lifted
Day four - 3 x 3 @ 2kg = 18kg total lifted
Day five - 3 x 4 @ 2kg = 24kg total lifted
Day six - 3 x 5 @ 2kg = 30kg total lifted
Day seven - 3 x 3 @ 4kg = 36kg total lifted
Day eight - 3 x 4 @ 4kg = 48kg total lifted
Day nine - 3 x 5 @ 4kg = 60kg total lifted

You can modify it however you like, such as you might want to do lower weight higher reps, or you may have to work with the weights that you have, as long as you keep the basic principle of progressive loading you will get stronger. You should also eat more protein so the body has more amino acids to turn into muscle tissue.

No. 168368

>>168359
Unfortunately, targeted workouts are a myth. Gaining muscle in your triceps will not reduce flab under your arms, it'll just make you gain muscle under the flab. Tricep exercises in general are great though, and you can do bodyweight tricep dips basically anywhere. If you also do pushups, you'll gain more strength in your arms overall. I have a rule of thumb where I do 5 pushups basically whenever the thought crosses my mind. So like I'll just randomly do 5 pushups when I'm sitting at my desk working, and I usually do that 3-6 times throughout the day. It's not too hard to incorporate but you really do feel stronger over time.



File: 1688606828103.png (1.15 MB, 1034x908, Screen Shot 2023-07-05 at 9.27…)

No. 163704[Reply]

Beautiful well put together girlies vs Shayna
65 posts and 41 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168268

File: 1712628762968.jpg (91.55 KB, 564x765, media_F3GP0SfXMAEpvgt.jpg)


No. 168274

>>167562
>>167561
The second one of these is obviously photoshopped but does she not realize that the women who get a shit ton of attention for wearing the stuff have a completely different body type? I'm sure she wears flared skirts precisely because she is such a strange looking thigh area, too.

No. 168299

File: 1712892334149.jpg (615.72 KB, 1440x1080, shaynus.jpg)


No. 168300

>>167611
The disintegrating shein knockoff chanel tweed coat paired with ugly skinny jeans lmfao

No. 168311

>>167561
holy fuck I keep forget how fucking ugly shay is, she looks like an inbred retard



File: 1699043221979.jpeg (914.83 KB, 1948x3464, FA8C50E1-D24B-47B6-A519-627582…)

No. 165957[Reply]

Who would you cast in the movie based on the life of Shayna?
Lena Dunham as Shayna
Patricia Arquette as Ellen Degenerate
Adam Sandler as Ricky Delgado of Boulder, CO
Helen Mirren as Sarah Gregory
Madison Bailey as Kiki Cali
Zack Galifinackas as Fupaul

That’s who I would cast what about you?
75 posts and 54 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 167953

File: 1709840106247.jpeg (202.65 KB, 1200x1200, E40F7CFB-FB7F-4AC6-BB4B-1BD5F4…)

Ed Sherman as Mr Peanut Butter

No. 167962

>>167953
Fucking lmao

No. 167964

File: 1709892570954.jpg (2.52 MB, 4096x4096, InCollage_20240308_180854031.j…)

>>167953
The movie is a musical sung and narrated by Ed Sheeran as Mr Peanut butter about Shay's life from his perspective.

No. 167965

>>167964
Harry styles as Noodle and Robbie Williams as Ribmeat.

No. 167983

>>167952
Way too pretty and petite.



File: 1703014022648.png (1.91 MB, 943x1315, Merry Shaymas.png)

No. 166766[Reply]

Merry Christmas, Nonas! Get into the spirit by posting Christmas related Shayna memes and memories old and new.
15 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 166905

File: 1703562934626.jpg (1.39 MB, 3024x4032, shingerbread.jpg)

dont ask me what i was thinking when i made this because i dont have an answer (i also realized right after i did it that the line for her boobs looks like scars so we can just pretend theyre her implant scars)

No. 166908

>>166905
Making gingerbread fan art of a washed up whore is something a twitter coomer would do

No. 166911

>>166905
Lmao anon your hands are so cute

No. 166914

>>166905
Holy shit your fingers are THICK kek go touch grass if this is what you’re doing during the holiday

No. 166919

>>166905
kek. I always appreciate IRL shart.



File: 1701782651627.jpg (75.87 KB, 1005x636, 1699453928163.jpg)

No. 166458[Reply]

A place to catalogue Shayna's descent into alcoholism.

DEC 1:
>>>/snow/1936482 - espresso martini x3

DEC 2:
>>>/snow/1936655 - 7AM espresso martini ('breffast')
>>>/snow/1936831 - bottle of tequila
>>>/snow/1937143 - slushie cocktail x2

DEC 3:
>>>/snow/1937539 - sugary cocktails (enough to get her chicken dancing)
16 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 166651

>>166649
Not to mention, the picture she posted actually showed two mini bottles of sparkling wine. Once they ran out of sparkling wine, she switched to white wine. So she had at least 3 mini bottles of wine.

>>166645
Same here nona! We've got this. I thought watching her Aruba antics would tempt me to drink, but she makes everything look so trashy and unappealing that it actually strengthened my resolve to keep going. Even if you didn't hit rock bottom, Shay has done the field work for us, proving that drinking only leads to a life of being a fat, sloppy, embarrassing, miserable shell of a person.

No. 166658

>>166651
Thanks for the addition nonna. So that's 1465 calories then… that's unfathomable.
For 6 drinks in 6 hours, the smartserve online BAC calculator says that she's at a BAC of around 0.11% right now.

No. 166662

>>166658
That is absolutely wild. At my worst, I was drinking between 750-1000 calories a day - I've lost 7 pounds in 16 days just by cutting out booze. No wonder Shay is so fat now.

No. 166664

>>166645
>>166651
>>166662
Let's go, nonas! We are better than this shit.

No. 166670

>>166658
Her bac is probably even higher too because she’s been drinking like that for 13 days straight morning til night



File: 1680309318835.jpg (146.14 KB, 1072x1448, shayhegao.jpg)

No. 6[Reply]

Nobody knows how to fake la petite mort like our princess. Today we're going to honor the many faces of her fake pleasure!

Post your best shayhegaos!!
28 posts and 20 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 166569

>>166567
pretty sure her no makeup era was right after she moved to Seattle. I started reading the threads during that era and I still think it’s the worst she’s ever looked kek. I think it’s because she was too lazy to unpack all her makeup.

No. 166570

>>166569
renton* oops

No. 166578

File: 1702136740982.jpg (217.4 KB, 718x680, Retard.jpg)


No. 166588

>>166578
This video was horrific she looks like a sack of potatoes in that ugly unitard

No. 167861

File: 1709402818769.gif (1.17 MB, 198x198, 1633036600230.gif)




File: 1699834048650.jpg (Spoiler Image,41.94 KB, 680x383, F-iqGMlXEAAdLN3.jpg)

No. 166086[Reply]

Kiki being molested by some old dude. What a bleak existence.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)


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