No. 756757
I wanted to get a bf for a lot of reasons
I'm lonely, I have no friends, and I'm fucking insane and don't want to go back to work because I kept thinking I was going to murder the people I worked with on accident in a fit of yardage, so I need someone to take care of my shitty ass
It's ptsd and bipolar, I'm a shitty person
I got the bf, he's rich, he's okay with me being a fucking crazy bitch, tbf though, I take a ton of medications now and mostly just sleep and wander around like a zombie, he's never seen me chimping out
But I don't love him
I really wanted to, but I just don't
I feel guilty around him now because I don't think the love is ever going to grow in
Should I dump him? Should I ride it out, hoping that maybe it's just the drugs making me less human right now?
He's nice, and I can't believe someone could actually be playing just supporting my loser ass, but I dunno, I just don't feel the love I hoped I would
He doesn't even pressure me into sex at all and he doesn't even know the ptsd is mostly from being abused growing up, I have yet to put out even once and he's already asking if I want to move in with him
Why don't I love him? What the fuck
This sucks
Should I dump him?
Sorry rambling, I am heavily medicated and fucked up