i've been on the fence about whether to post this but i might as well ask and it helps that it's anonymous lol so i don't feel so embarrassed about bringing it up.
i recently had some wild results from a manifestation working and I posted about it in that thread, but someone asked me what my technique was and the more i researched 'manifestation' as it's described online the less certain i felt that what i had done was anything like that. i think it might be something else but i have no idea what to call it and it takes some explaining. i have a personal theory that i have ??? something that follows me. it's been around - or I've been encouraging it - since my late teens, although it didn't really start having an influence until a few years later when I started having extraordinary strokes of luck, not at random but in circumstances where I was in dire need at the time. A lot of the time it had to do with money or personal safety. I've lived through a couple of things where EMTs were telling me over and over again how lucky I was. For a while I called it a genie because 'it grants wishes' and if I wished for something hard and long enough then it would eventually come true - not always in the way that I wanted, but following
to the letter what I had wished for in a way that felt like a monkey's paw or a learning lesson at times. I've ended up being extremely pedantic and specific in my 'wishes'/spells as a result, but I don't think what I mentally talk to is a genie, that's more of a joke than anything. the way i have sometimes thought about it is 'a single cell of divinity'. but i've also wondered before if it's a tulpa that was created by accident, or something akin to ancestor worship because I used to direct prayers to my matrilineal line (i was convinced that my dead grandmother kept ghosts away from me when i was a child for some reason). it does feel like a guardian in some ways because i think it's diverted severe harm from me before. i guess my question is whether anyone else knows of a spiritual practice that is at all similar to this or if i'm just doing full-on schizoshit that just happens to make sense in retrospect.
My mom also has something of a sixth sense where multiple times when I've been experiencing intense stress she'll call me either then or the following day and tell me that she dreamed about me experiencing exactly what I was going through, and it was so intense it woke her up. She doesn't normally tell me abo
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