This has been weighing on me for years and is dealing with colorism and some racial undertones so
trigger warning on that type of thing.
To make a long story short, my family and my in-laws are Mexican/Hispanic. My husband is tall and dark with long dark hair, he is 60% Native, and so he fits in with them.
Me on the other hand, despite having a similar background ethnically, have very pale skin with dark hair and dark eyes.
People in my own family have made fun of my skin color all growing up. I’m used to that from them, I have never been okay with it but at this point it’s expected so whatever.
What really breaks my heart was learning that my in-laws are no different, and were actually worse about it at one point. My husband and I have been together for nearly 14 years now too and it still happens. It’s a lot more subtle now but it’s there.
I can’t help that I’m this color, and if I did I know they’d comment on that too. Plus I don’t want to pretend to be brown, because I’m not and that’s fine.
I’ve just always felt like the reject daughter in law. Especially now that my new sister in law is actually white but no one makes fun of her skin or anything. (Husband’s brother got married) Like what gives?
It’s not just the skin color thing either, my MIL has said I should never have children because I’m an atheist, her husband is the biggest offender when making comments about my skin or my weight/appearance, they’ve said that my husband, their own son, ruined my life, effectively calling him a loser.
And yet husband is frustrated because I never want to see family or am never excited to visit or see them. I’m like how can you expect me to feel anything even remotely close to that?
Oh but it’s always “just a joke” and everyone makes fun of each other so it’s fine. Except that’s clearly not the case with many things they’ve said to or about me. I’m done pretending to be anyone’s friend. I can’t just forget about it like they want me to.
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