>>548263I didn’t actually, and even though I was ‘tomboyish’ in my hobbies as a teen (video games and being a nerd
I guess) and slightly in personality I was not as a very young child. I had no interest in toys boys liked and just played with dress up dolls and stuff. Did not get cars and all of that, seemed very boring. The only ‘girl’ thing I did not play with was the baby dolls - I
hated them. I remember even as a kid I told them it was sexist kek.
I hear about the idea of lesbians especially masc-leaning ones relating more to men or boys growing up but I feel the exact opposite. I could not understand males in the slightest and had absolutely zero male friends, did not like them at all. Guys seemed more foreign to me than they did to my heterosexual friends. I only liked interacting with girls. As I grew up I had to learn how to befriend them especially if we liked the same stuff.
My dysphoria emerged as a teen. Initially it was to do with clothing. I only ever started experimenting with dressing masculine because I wanted women to like me - I wanted them to see me like that. As an adult I stopped feeling this way about clothes especially as I found myself and what I’m comfortable with, but started to feeling dysphoric towards my gender as a whole, like
>>548286 anger when I see a moid with a girl. I feel insecure that because I’m a woman, “women won’t like me” even though I had evidence to refute the fact. But I’ve never wished I were male or identified more with maleness. Weirdly, I did feel extreme distress learning about reproduction at school and felt sick afterwards but honestly I think it was just the idea of pregnancy and mating that seemed horrible. I also disliked hearing about male anatomy and sperm TBH, grossed me out when they described them swimming or penetrating the egg or whatever. Gross. I don’t think I disliked being female or hated my body.