>>544448Here's why I'm reluctant to blame first-time mothers: 'people' do a real 180 turn in attitude once the kid is here. Before a woman gets pregnant, she is told she should have kids, it's so wonderful, so fulfilling, so worth it, it'll all come naturally, and who's gonna take care of her when she's old? People become pushy once you're 30 or so and don't have kids. Family members and friends ask her why she doesn't have kids yet, as if she needs to justify herself. Have kids!! is THE message women receive. Then she gets pregnant. It's all wonderfull, people tell her she's blessed, to enjoy her pregnancy, wishes of health to the new family, people will go out of their way to help her etc. Once the kid's there and it's hard? 180 attitude shift. You chose this! You should've known being a mom is hard as fuck! Sleepless nights? You asked for this! Shut up and work hard and don't complain! Sacrifice yourself for the child you chose to have!
This shift in attitude to women before and during pregnancy vs once she's a mom is real and it becomes very blatant once you start noticing it. Women who already have kids aren't allowed to complain about having kids or openly admit to regretting having kids because that's taboo, so they keep up the pretense and childless women don't often hear this reality from mothers who already know what motherhood's truly like. So most young women only ever hear this message of having kids is GOOD and WORTH IT.
And sure you told your sister having kids is hard.. but when that's only once voice amongst many telling her that having kids is so wonderful and fulfilling and having kids is the default and child free women are (still) frowned upon.. The world has a real stake in deceiving women into thinking that having kids is desirable, because the world keeps turning on new generations of workers.