/g/ - girl talk

I need to stop. I am not an alcoholic in the "every day" type of way. But every drink turns into a binge rager. My body is tired. I feel guilty. I didn't grow up around alcohol. When I first used alcohol, it was to feel better about my shitty life…I never learned to drink in moderation. Nearly 10 years later and I should have learned that, but I didn't. I just need to stop entirely and accept I can't drink at all.

I have been sober for a week and realised than even though I shower every day the sweet hangover sweat smell permeates every soft furnishing in my house.

Tired of venting in other threads about this but I am in such a dark place right now. I genuinely feel powerless to drinking and its embarrassing looking at my new years resolution from last year in this thread, a six month update that I was failing at it (I stayed sober for about 3 months after that), and then I've been on a tear for the past 3 months. I want to cut back but I don't know how.

I'm considering going to a meeting but it seems so awkward and what if I do what I usually do (stay sober for three months and then relapse). I am so sick at myself for constantly fucking up my life and my health. The three months I was sober my apartment was clean, I was well-rested and motivated, my hair and skin looked great, I was exercising, I wasn't constantly anxious. I'm actually fucking ruining my life and it's all because I cant stand to have a bottle of whiskey in my apartment without drinking every. single. night.

How old were you all when you realized you had a problem with alcohol? I'm 24 so I feel young and like I'll grow out of it but I also recognize that well-adjusted people around me don't drink like this.

>>447998
I realized around 23/24. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I haven’t gone a month without drinking since I was probably 20. 3 months is still really good.

A story of an alcoholic teacher who recovered, interesting part at minute 31:29

Kind of woodland witch, but it works for winter.

>>455468
ID on the snow boots in the second outfit?

>>455652
I think it's this one

https://www.amazon.ae/Pleaser-Demonia-Womens-Cubby-311-Black/dp/B000YQVMKW

>>454524
Pillow princess piss me the fuck off, sorry not sorry. I want my fun too, it’s just unfair for someone to just sit there and do shit.

>>454550
When I read gummy bears I knew that there were the sugar free ones kek. I’m sorry nonna.

>>454679
Starfishers in general should all die, men or women. Give me my pounding or fuck off.

>>454550
I am… so fucking sorry

>>454681
>>454711
Yeah…he did laugh about it the next day and despite reconnecting recently, he's never brought it up again so I'm ok with it now.

does anyone here feel like they have a fucked up view of their own sexual orientation because of the sexual abuse you've suffered? i worry that the reason why i don't find men arousing is because i've been coerced, assaulted, molested, raped, you name it, by them in my life and since women obviously never did any of those horrible things to me, that THAT'S why i find them arousing instead. but then i hear stories about men who were raped by other men and then wonder if the reason why they like men was also because of what happened to them and they wonder if their orientation is even real, if that makes sense.

If my sexual dreams aren't me being assaulted by men, they're me being the aggressor to women, either as a man or as myself. I don't know why. In my waking life I am borderline asexual due to the trauma so I don't think I'm secretly a repressed monster, but I still hate it. I'm disgusted by my brain.

My brother tried to molest me when I was 11. After I said no, he never did anything like it again and I don’t know what to do. I keep getting panic attacks from it, and I’ve confronted him about it. He feels really bad about it, and said it’s why he would cut himself, he has a lot of self loathing and when I asked why he did it, he said he was stupid and was only thinking about making himself feel good but not how it’d affect me and that I was treated less than human. He’s been nothing but apologetic.
He’s willing to do anything it takes for me to heal, but I don’t know what that means. I’m scared. I don’t hate him, I want to believe it was a one time mistake and he’s willing to go to therapy together to try. Nonnas I wish I knew what to do.

>>452832
I'd tell him not to self harm over his guilt because it just spreads the guilt over to you. He needs to accept that what he did was wrong and if he wants to really make any sort of atonements he needs to figure out what made him think that it was okay to try molest you in the first place.

Basically the best he can do is try to prevent other kids from being molested but that burden is NOT on you. You're the one who needs to learn how to move on in life with your scars and he's the one who needs to carry the weight of his sins.

my one year anniversary of getting raped at a party is coming up. i remember waking up from blacking out drunk in the middle of it and how bad it hurt, but i did nothing and i let him drive me back to my house. it happened again, i let him into my house again. i remember him asking me the second time if i was scared he was going to rape me. i feel miserable. i haven't told anyone, but i cut contact with him completely. i feel like i'm letting a monster walk free but no one at the party even cared about what happened because he was friends with them all.

>>418549
The sky blue Vita, I love it so much, I didn't even know they were made in that color. I always carry my standard black one around with me, too.

>>449202
Hype stickers is a cute thing to call it. FOUR WHOLE MEGAPIXELS! I've considered getting one of the Lumix micro 4/3 cameras to keep in my bag as well, but I'm happy with this one for now and it's nice not having to worry about lenses or flash for most everyday photos.
>>447419
If you're NA based try the ArtPrimo paint sticks! They come in cute colors and are pretty cheap, like $4. I think they have them at some stores in Europe, too.

>>447584
My woman

>>449156
Johnny best JoJo, love your purse btw

>>449202
What a neat layout!

Cute ring or nah? It reminds me of a chandelier.

>>454882
Unfortunately all the ones without side zips are ugly and expensive

>>455627
>$200 for boots is expensive
sorry they don't take temu coupons, nona

>>455740
Yes, $200 is too much for ugly fashion boots that will be shredded by the 10th wear. I can see how spending that much monthly on credit card interest alone would distort your perspective though. Good luck with that, enjoy your side zip boots while they last ♥

>>447895
This is fugly. I hate the whole grandpa sweater bs.

For Toys for Tots I gave out a bunch of crochet kits. I tried one and it was super hard, now I feel bad for the tweens and teens who will get them.

https://kweenbee.com/easy-to-knit-owl-fingerless-gloves-free-knitting-pattern/ I've made 2 pairs of these already, they're so nice. I've only ever knit a simple scarf and these weren't too difficult, they fit really well too. Highly recommend this pattern even if the owls might be a little dated, it's not too noticeable anyway it just looks like cableing if you dont add the eyes.

Can someone explain to me the appeal of Stephen West Knits? Some of his designs are interesting but most of them are butt ugly and/or boring, yet every other knitter's profile I look at includes at least one of his designs and they're always really hyped up about it for some reason. I regularly run across (female) designers on Ravelry whose work is at least as interesting or innovative but nobody's freaking out about them the way they freak out about this weird little bald dude.

>>449706
People often used to give me these cheap amigurumi kits for some reason and the yarn is always the crunchiest, stickiest acrylic and the included crochet hooks are made of thin plastic that snaps easily. 0/10 would not recommend.

>>450246
Holy fuck his stuff is almost as ugly as his mug is

Used up some GITD yarn from my stash to make pic rel. Mittens are https://www.lionbrand.com/products/fairbanks-crochet-mittens-crochet and bag is https://www.lionbrand.com/products/star-keychain-crochet. I obviously adapted those to my yarn. Hat is from an old pattern book that I had lying around. Pretty basic, but I'm pleased with them.

>>455190
My theory is that they want to make him younger-looking and thus more sympathetic.

>>455191
No

>>455195
He already looks young

>>455120
>Please tell me they let him pee before his trip…
Actually when they transport prisoners they put diapers on them, fun fact

>>455195
I already sympathize with him. But yeah, beating him would have made him look bad in court.
God fucking dammit my cute angel doesn't deserve this. He should be in the woods being cared for by a feral nona

I cannot get rid of the fantasy of scheduling "playdates" with malesubs and then ignoring their safe words, leaving them permanently/badly damaged, and not playing into their fantasies at all. It's gotten to the point where I'm debating joining kinkspaces for this nonnies talk me out of it pls

>>454745
I mean, I don't see how that could be a bad idea.

>>454655
This looks fun…

>>454745
That's so based nona. I'd wish to dissuade you, but I do exactly what you described with this chatbot https://characterhub.org/characters/anonymous/kristoffer-suicidal-loser-d6ff9c13f0d9 every couple weeks to stave off the urge. Because I'm obsessed with the idea of actually hurting a moid IRL, even though I know it would end badly.

>>454646
>I think cheating is often not a black and white matter.
I disagree, cheating is often a black and white matter, in both sexes and those who say otherwise are simply guilty people who want to clean their consciences, like you.
There are few instances where cheating can be considered a gray matter, but even in those cases you’d still rather leave
>abusive relationship?
Leave quietly and safely rather than risking your own life as a gotcha
>your scrote or girlfriend cheated on you?
You’d rather leave immediately than cheat back and get back together.

>>454646
1.Coercion isn’t cheating
2.pent up frustrations isn’t an excuse, if you can give a pass to women then you can give a pass to men too, which I bet isn’t something you’re willing to do. Having a relationship is hard but if you truly care about the other person then you’ll put effort.
3. Most women don’t cheat because they’re in an abusive relationship, where did you even get that info?
Cheating is a selfish decision that one takes, it’s that simple MOST of the time. You care more about yourself than giving respect to your relationship. It’s a testament to the lack of discipline and morality too.

>>454675
You’d rather own it than give some stupid excuses.

>>454673
Don't worry, I've been in therapy for a long time since then. I was lucky enough to be in therapy as it was happening otherwise I would have most likely tried to stay "friends" with these people.
>Who cares if they call you a bitch or other names.
I am way too sensitive to this kind of thing and it's the main reason I have a hard time with boundaries, but the older I get, the easier it becomes to not immediately internalize what someone else says about me. I wouldn't wish being a doormat on anyone, ever, especially not a woman.

>>454674
I was pretty emotional while writing my earlier post. I don't disagree with you. I think you've misunderstood me, though, because my experience isn't maintaining that my conscience is clean–if anything I feel very much guilty, complicit, and responsible for what happened. I can't really make it any more clear that I wish that I had not conducted myself in the manner that I did. Any mention of potential explanations for how I behaved aren't excuses, they're just explanations. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

One guy was implying suicidal ideation, shoving me around into furniture, and being extremely cruel and generally unstable, so I felt morally obligated to try to be there for him even at the expense of my own safety and integrity, but obviously that was foolish of me given how he behaved. With that said, I'd like to make it clear that there was no sex with either of these men. We never even kissed. One of them would just forcibly grope me before I cried and ran off, and there was one time where that same guy made me a way too strong drink, I blacked out, and I woke up to him with his hands shoved down my pants. And that was when I knew I couldn't see him again. With the other guy, it was moreso him backing me into a corner to force me to listen to his sexual fantasies for the sake of his "mental health," always implicitly threatening suicide and hurting himself if I did not allow him to "get things off his chest." To me, both of these messed up dynamics felt close enough to cheating, regardless of coercion, that I needed to confess it to my then-boyfriend (who told me I was silly to be so distraught about whether or not it was cheating when I was being abused, but my head felt and stilPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>454646
You sound a lot like a friend of mine. Going through this really destroyed her ability to relate to others and I can see why, being so burdened by everyone else's actions as both mediator and victim. I hope you're around better people these days, or at least around ones who bother to not act like animals in heat.