Kelly Eden XVI: The Poor, Bland, and No Friends Edition
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Kelly Eden (n.) is an infamous narcissistic skin-walking trend-squatter who is a self-proclaimed mental health advocate. She severely shoops all of her frequently posted, same-faced modeling images despite multiple cosmetic surgery procedures. Cannot handle any criticism and blocks and deletes any "haters", refusing to apologize for any of her cow antics.
> The epitome of an airhead “has-been” e-cow who has never really been anything
> Entire aesthetic/home decor lifted/skin-walked from previous roommate Tilly Dinmore (Tillywinkle/Amelia Nightmare/Demonpuff) and Audrey Kitching
> Has breast implants, botched lip-injections/fillers, botox, and is poorly liposuctioned
> Lays claim to several mental and physical illnesses including depression, anxiety, BDD, bipolar disorder, and Hashimoto’s; none of which are known to be legitimately diagnosed (often throws self-pity parties on Twitter, crying about said illnesses)
> Is anti call-out culture, yet publicly calls out fans constantly
> Has unsuccessfully attempted to join communities such as emo/scene, goth, Lolita, otaku, gamer/nerd, BDSM, and table-top gaming; was a LARP thot and is a fake gamer girl; recently trying to weasel way into cottagecore
> Has penchant for "collecting" accessory friends (with rainbow hair); dubbed former friend group the "Fellowship of the Rainbow"
> Known to lurk, possibly post on threads
> Doesn’t shower/claims consistent dirty feet are her “brand”/wears wigs to cover dirty unfixed hair
> Claims to be “financially stable” despite constant whining about student loans/how poor she is for sympathy/money to spend on shopping trips, vacations, plastic surgery, etc.
> Known to sell sponsored items she got for free at a large markup
> Can’t be bothered to properly promote brands sponsoring her
> Didn’t address lipo for months, let fans believe weight loss/new body was due to “hard work” at gym, until video about lipo experience was posted; now offers promo codes for lipo/other plastic surgery procedures, (I.e. laser tattoo removal)
> Has a Society6 store where mugs/other merch with stolen art are sold; has been called out for it and refuses to acknowledge it
RECENTLY:
> Set Twitch money goal to help pay her rent; then one to get her dog groomed for $240; then one for a new laptop
> Continued to vague-post and complain about FotR’s “betrayal”
> Anons discovered that she did, in fact, date pedophile/rapist Dahvie Vanity
> Tweeted against Dolls Kill, despite working with/receiving free PR boxes from them numerous times in the past, then Dolls Kill ads came up that were recently filmed in her apartment
> Casually made up a rape story in a tweet
> Keeps selling nasty, dirty, chewed up items on Depop page; selling overpriced items she keeps wearing in pictures and claiming they’re “never worn”
> Anon came in claiming that Kelly’s former roommate Dre told them Kelly used to eat all of Dre’s food (take with grain of salt)
> Claimed she was cottagecore before it was a “thing”, now attempting cottagecore themes poorly then complaining about the cottagecore community “rejecting” her
> Gained liposuction weight back
> Constant complaining about “big tiddies”, said she plans to get smaller implants
> Skinwalked Azusa Barbie for a bit with newly dyed magenta straight hair and blunt bangs
> Poorly spray painted TV, remotes, etc. and advised other “mentally ill” people to do the same
> Looking to buy a home with Stefan while complaining about home market; claimed to have “baby fever”
> Claimed botched lipo was because of scar tissue, blamed WAVE plastic surgery center; few months later is at WAVE again
> Called out former fan for bringing up her alcoholic father, said “Karen mad because I moved on and won’t talk about old relationships from two years ago” (referring to FotR); continues to constantly bitch and moan about FotR without directly mentioning them
> Made ridiculous Patreon goal of $500 to revive a dead character from her doll skits
> Suddenly selling most pastel clothing, removed pink dye from hair, dressing more matronly; seemingly influenced by her bland boyfriend
> Begging for expensive barbie items for doll skits produced with poorly spray-painted cardboard items
> Review for renting out her apartment claimed it was dirty, her bf talked crazy to them, and they tried to charge more than was originally asked
> Claimed one of her former friends is running a “smear campaign” against her
> Went to Rome with boyfriend and his family; made it all about herself again
> Got interviewed for Auxiliary Magazine, said that sanding “isn’t needed” for DIY furniture and claimed she wasn’t told they’d be putting a picture of her in the magazine (where she looks haggard with greasy, messy hair in a hoodie with no makeup)
> Continues to bitch about student loans and her bf not being able to afford hospital care despite getting brows tatted, scheduling breast implant reduction, taking a trip to Rome during a pandemic and often removing her mask all while not working
BEFORE:
> Spray painted grandmother's old tea set heirloom shitty pastel colors
> New Swedish roommate moved in; moved out; spare bedroom was converted into an “office” for her bf
> New boyfriend Stefan moved in, has been lurking/posting/WKing in thread
> Made fake happy video about FoTR downfall while continuing to bitch about them at any chance gotten
> Got DBZ friendship tattoo removed; claimed it was for “aesthetic” sake, while sister Madi bitchily confirmed otherwise in comments
> Made cringy Instagram stories/TikToks with dolls about own traumas while subtly shading others
> Badly dyed hair patchy purple; immediately went back to pink right after Courtney went pink
> Claimed to be making a Team Rocket skit, begged for costumes; never happened; continues to scam people on Patreon
> Selling expired makeup on Depop
> Made shitty art piece that featured stolen design (Hysteria Machine)
> Endorsed scammy claw machine app; got mostly negative feedback, then removed video
> Complained about being dropped by company for being "too sexy"
> Continued to tweet, complain about being severely depressed
> Tried to sell busted trashworthy boots for huge markup on Depop (and eventually sold them)
> Commissioned $5,000+ pink stove while continuing to complain about student loans; haphazardly spray painted around it
> Has been posting poorly slapped together uninteresting videos on YouTube with overly saturated ads on them for money
> Listed severely overpriced multiple horribly done new paintings and overpriced prints
PAST:
> Turned 30, roommate Phi moved out
> Did ex-boyfriend tag video, had ex-fiancé Davey Suicide shade former FotR friends despite asking people to stop asking about them; deleted old ex-bf tag video with him
> Deleted/privated all videos featuring former friends, sanded down/painted over portraits she did of them
> Posted ads looking for new roommate, severely overcharging for one room ($1,260)
> Posted ads on AirBnB, rents out bunk beds in apartment for $270/night
> Rented apartment out for shoots on Giggster for $125/hour with a 4 hour minimum
> Got a new greasy suck-up fanboy boyfriend, Skeletor Stefan
> Had been hanging out with/sticking up for serial cheater Leo Camacho/Leo Zombie
> Tweeted essentially telling people to buy a home instead of pay for college; got lots of backlash for it
> Posted (horrible) severely shopped photoshoot photos on Instagram, blurring botched stomach
> Continued to wear wigs, beginning to bald
> Built an obnoxious pillow fort with boyfriend in parking lot of apartment building; hung up period stained sheets, both slept in it for multiple days
> Had a very short lived semi-racist Spanish accent mostly in videos with boyfriend
> Drama with DavedScissorhands; Kelly claimed she herself dyed a wig with Splat, Dave actually made wig himself and dyed it with Overtone; Dave called out Kelly, Kelly never apologized, removed any trace of him from her social media
> Continued to beg for video ideas on social media
> Continued to claim she just naturally has a “fat ass”, despite getting lipo on thighs
> Continued to post several work out videos at gym, suspiciously right after posting about visiting her plastic surgeron's office
> Continued to post (dirty) items she got for free from sponsors at large markup on Depop/Poshmark
> Continued to pity-seek by tweeting about depression/vague-tweeting about betrayal from FotR
> Continued to scrape bottom of barrel for “friends”/content (see: Leo Zombie, forgotten Azusa Barbie, Tiffie Starchild, Cherry Dollface, Davey Suicide)
> Went to Japan for two weeks, caused drama with group of “friends” there, got “sick” and stayed at home; walked around in underwear in front of friend’s and their boyfriends; complained about being single and alone, constantly hit on new friend Jamie’s boyfriend Taylor, threw tantrum over Lindsay’s boyfriend not buying her pink beer, went entire trip with tits practically hanging out, brought down the general mood of trip with constant whining and obnoxiousness
> Sudden obsession with Pokemon despite claiming to not like it in the past
> Went on Depop selling spree to make money for useless items from Japan trip (that will end up on Depop anyway like previous Japan trip); sold lots of free PR items at huge markup (from Dolls Kill, Chotronette, Black Milk, Doe Deere, cosplay clothing companies)
> “Quit” cosplay, claimed “cosplay brings up bad memories”; listed old cosplays/unused cosplays on Depop
> In attempt to be “edgy”, started wearing fake nose ring and painted bloody “meme” pentagram behind fridge
> Dyed Toshi pink (again) in a bath after being called out here for keeping him dirty and matted
> Posted Happy Birthday video for childhood friend, is shamelessly monetized
> Rumored bedbugs in the home, spent a lot/all of her day in studio around this time
> Latched on to new (now forgotten) “friend” Azusa Barbie, suddenly was obsessed with Barbie again for a short time
> Profile found on Japanese dating and "like" apps
> Adopted new “picnic” pastel vomit color scheme following her minty pastel vomit color scheme
> Covered fridge at home with tacky wallpaper, covered Twitch setup in studio room with tacky gingham wallpaper
> Spray painted entire Twitch setup (including computer monitors, cords) as form of “OCD from childhood trauma”; recently obsessed with spray painting everything in studio room including sink and fridge, never uses mask for protection, complains about feeling sick/tired the next day
> Streamed on Twitch for a week, dropped it despite adding Twitch as employer on Facebook
> No time to LARP anymore because she “can't find a dogsitter”; goes to LARP for 12 hours anyway, hides then leaves early (potentially related to multiple former friends being active LARPers/ex LARPer “boyfriend” Sekril)
> Put Amazon Wishlist in bio; wishlist features very expensive streaming items amongst other things (i.e. candles, toys, etc.); claims they are equipment/tools she “needs” for streaming/art, despite having all streaming equipment needed (that she got for free); made pity-seeking depressed post right after
> Advertised Smile Sciences, claimed “yes I use it”; meanwhile frequently sells Smile Sciences Kits on Depop
> Listed new, overpriced flower crowns for sale; previously known for horrible quality
> Listed marked-up items on Depop as “new” despite being clearly shown being used in previous videos/posts; listed Betsey Johnson dress she “traded” for with an antler crown from previous fan (that she blocked) for $400
> Listed sponsored Technisport chair (received for free) for sale on Facebook for $200
> Posted video sponsored by Splat hair dye ft. a patchy blue-green dye job using Pulp Riot dye; Splat only used poorly on extensions; immediately posted after about “missing pink hair”, still wears full wigs anyway
> Hairdressers asked not to be shown in Splat video, Kelly still left a ton of shots of hairdressers in video; appeared to destroy hairdresser’s sink with Splat for her extensions
> Posted happy Instagram stories with Molly McIsaac’s chickens/baby chicks; animals visibly stressed in videos/photos
> Got lipo on thighs, subsequently wouldn’t shut up about how “big” her pancake butt looks; posted gross butt photos on Instagram
> Got more fat-burning injections on areas that were already lipo’d
> Revamped Patreon after not delivering on any promises for two years+ (most notably skit videos); no more physical rewards
> Whined about wanting pink stove because black stove “doesn’t fit dollhouse aesthetic”; made Ko-Fi for sheep to donate to (instead of just buying one herself); later changed Ko-Fi to “art supply funding” (has only spray painted studio fridge ugly pastel colors since then)
> Posted new, overpriced poorly done art for sale on bigcartel; titles of art seemingly shading FotR
> Tweeted then deleted about being “betrayed and abandoned six times in a row”; referencing FotR
> Had been scraping bottom of barrel for friends (see: hanging out with seamstress Lindsay, Claire Max, Molly McIsaac, LARP randos, and continuing support for controversial ex-Lime Crime CEO Doe Deere); rest of FoTR hanging out together, sans Kelly
> Made lighthearted/“fun” video exploring abandoned Nazi camp with cousin Jimmy who was sporting red arm bandana while she cracked Nazi jokes
> Friends/fans flamed her for insensitivity; eventually took video down after deleting all negative comments about it on any posts
> Posted “apology” on Twitter typed up in notes, which doesn’t feature an apology whatsoever
> Little sister Madi poorly WKed her on Twitter and made it worse; is just as bad as Kelly, if not worse
> Went completely dark on social media for a week, came back as though nothing happened; still won’t apologize/acknowledge the fiasco
> Had been wearing awful wigs instead of dyeing hair again/investing in good wigs because “it’s easier”; too lazy to fix or wash hair
> Claimed Bob Ross isn’t considered “fine art”/his techniques are “cheating”; was using same techniques in new painting and makeup videos
> Went from being an “empath” to a “psychic”
> Hopped on Michael Jackson documentary trend by claiming abuse by “someone famous”
> Was pushing LARP/D&D videos until recently; fans greatly expressed they do not enjoy those
> Was spamming videos with empty content in light of drop in views/engagement on YouTube (didn't improve viewership at all)
> Lifted traits from Jillian Vessey/Pixielocks (milk bath photos, attempting to create word for her stolen “style”, etc.)
> Posted cringey "thirst" videos/stories on Instagram/YouTube, where she listens/gets turned on to kidnapping ASMR videos
> Had fetish for clowns (most notably Pennywise from IT); seems to have disappeared, mostly due to falling out of trend
> Posted a lot of poorly done shibari; often features poorly donned undergarments and severe chestne
> Made “Ask Kelly” videos where she talks about herself and her problems disguised as “giving advice” for 20+ minutes
> Got free expensive computer equipment from companies; would never stream on Twitch despite repeatedly promising to
> Removed stretched/faded tattoo of mother on arm, replaced with a poorly done tattoo of Sailor Moon fanart of Human Luna (by a Chinese artist which she never received permission from to use)
> Lost a cousin to suicide and milked it for all it was worth; $10,000 GoFundMe to fund funeral (which was also used on shopping/lip fillers/vacation to Mexico after his death), made monetized videos to garner sympathy in his room where he died, etc.; has now turned his room into mini-version of her home for when she visits family in Colorado
> Got liposuction after not “seeing results” after one week of working out and still eating junk; never corrects fans who praise her for “looking great after working out so hard”
> Claims to have been going to therapy and being on meds, despite bashing meds as treatment in past
> Made a (now deleted/privatized) video with her ex-boyfriend/fiancé Davey Suicide; skreeeeee'd at him for 50 minutes/demonized him at every turn
> Tweeted anti-Semitic meme then played dumb after being called out on it
> Was featured in Splat campaign ad wearing dyed wig not dyed with Splat
> Former roommate Dre got start on Kelly's channel, moved out after drama; Kelly shaded Dre, threw fit over not getting “credit” for Dre’s success
> Lost ex-boyfriend Kyle Pavone to accidental overdose, sad-tweeted/milked loss in Labyrinth of Jareth video; Kyle's girlfriend Allie reportedly livid about Kelly's Tweets
> Constant flirting with Jake Munro in front of girlfriend Kaya Lili/Toxic Tears when they were visiting the U.S./staying with Kelly and Dre
> Regularly sends sheeple to harass professionals into sponsoring/collaborating with her (see: Gallery Nucleus Final Fantasy art exhibit fiasco)
> Former Kawaii Ambassador, despite pronouncing words such as “kawaii” incorrectly
> Major debacle with attempt (and eventual success) in returning $1000+ Angelic Pretty dress in Japan (that she was too stupid to read the price of); didn’t apologize and in turn accused the store of “doing poorly”, pushing sales
> Dyed accessory designer dog Toshi pink to fit her “aesthetic”
> Used sign sent by fan as a ramp for dog
> Sold art in tacky "shabby chic" frames for $500+
> Bought her Secret Santa an air horn while she got a pair of Angelic Pretty boots
> Threw self-pity party for being single/lonely at (former) best friend Stephanie’s wedding; couldn’t fake being happy for one day
> Got (now former) friends to babysit her for a week straight at home after getting elective liposuction for the first time
> Whinefest over Hello Kitty for not sponsoring/partnering with her; listed all HK merch on Depop (marked as sold despite still being seen in background of videos)
> Stole dad's ashes from family to mix into self-portrait painting
> Had reputation for selling horrible quality antler crowns that would break easily/reviewed as selling dirty items on eBay (username edenromance); swapped an antler crown for a Betsy Johnson dress with a fan, fan never received crown after mailing dress, was blocked after complaining
> Whines about “wasted” time in art school/as a tattoo apprentice
> Previously(?) friends with/dated dubious characters such as Dahvie Vanity
> Posed smiling, flashing a thumbs up in front of homeless person sleeping on ground in L.A for a photo on Tumblr
> Used to claim she’s a “gypsy”
RELEVANT LINKS:
https://twitter.com/kellyeden
https://www.instagram.com/kellyeden
https://www.kellyeden.tumblr.com/
https://www.youtube.com/user/KellyEdenOfficial
https://www.twitch.tv/kellyedenofficial
https://www.patreon.com/KellyEden
http://kellyeden.bigcartel.com
https://society6.com/kellyeden
https://www.depop.com/kellyeden
https://poshmark.com/closet/yaboykellyeden
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